HEALTH CLUB SUCCESS STORIES | PG 26&27 Solutions Se ee es ry ~S i _ ~~] (e ia we ‘> é > The NeyyPath to —— Healt & Fitness Deroy tereleadership solution The Body Language of Listening: Remember to be GENTLER in the office with your talk about what they want or perhaps the problems they are having with a product or service, You want them to know that you're listening ‘and you know it's important to show concer, but you're a little tired. They're going on and on, or maybe they're saying some negative things and you're feeling a Tittle defensive. What can you do to help you focus and show them that you are listening? What body language cues show that you're listening? Just remember ‘what your mother told you when you ‘were younger: “You must behave like a gentleman or gentlewoman.” Be GENTLER with your listening. G-ive Facial Feedback You have to work your abs to have toned stomach muscles, and. similarly you will have to work your face to hhave toned empathetic skills. Let yo facial expressions show your emotion response to the client’s message. If they mned, show understanding. by furrowing your brow. If they are unhappy. frown and lower your own eyes. If they are mad, close and flatten out your lip like a sealed envelope. Briefly matching their facial expressions not only shows ‘your customers that you are listening, it ‘reates the same chemicals in your brain that they have in theirs, and you will actually feel what they are feeling and understand them more effectively. fe Contact | A listener should give more eye contact than the speaker. Research (Pease 1981) suggests that if you want to have good rapport, you should maintain eye: contact 60% 0 70% of the time while they are speaking to you. You need to make good eye contact, but don’t stare. Research shows that the normal business gaze focuses on the eyes and the upper forehead and in the social gaze, the listener's gaze drops down to also include the nose and the mouth, N-od Your Head | You do not have to have a “bobbichead,” Just occasionally nod your head to show you are listening and empathetic with the speaker's message. An added bonus of nodding your head is that it releases cendorphin-like chemicals into. your bloodstream to make you feel good and ‘more affable about the speaker. Let your facial expressions show your emotional response to the client’s message. ‘Turn off Technology We have become so accustomed to answering the phone and looking at our ‘computers, of leaving our hands on the keyboards when someone comes into our Offices to talk, Not to mention, leaving ‘our eell phones and PDAs on and attached to our waists at all times! We sometim forget how rude all those things ar. Si your intent to really listen by turn your computer or at least turin; from it; tuning off the ringer on your des phone; turing off the cell phones and pagers and saying out loud, “Let me turn this off while we talk,” It’s amazing what aa difference it will make in the impression ‘you will give to your customer ~ because So few listeners take the time to be that polite. I suggest that when you are going. into an important meeting, especially one in which you will be presenting, remove any visible technology. Hide your cell phone and PDA, rather than wearing them on your waist. When you have them you're saying nonverbally th someone else is more important and eou! interrupt you at any time. L-can Forward Proximity, that is, being physically close, signals your desire to be emotionally of physiologically close. I don’t mean get in their face, merely lean-in toward the speaker. Research shows that i seated conversation, a backward communicates that you are dominant. A. forward-lean shows interest. E-xpose Your Heart Orient the heart and ideally the upper portion of your body toward the speaker. People self-disclose more 10 liste ing toward them. Even a quart tum away signals a lack of interest to the speaker and makes the speaker shut down, It also says something about your to the message. Research shows people feel under attack or or have low self- esteem, they protect their vulnerable heart area on their chest. Body language is a wonderfully symbolic language. Use it to show that ‘you are an open, confident speaker, and listener, by showing your heart. Remove Barriers That means take away things that block the access or view of the speaker and you, The barrier used most often is the arms. Though we have over 60 different ‘motivations for folding our arms, speakers may see any arm-fold ws a barrier, and a cue, that you are not listening, In fact, of all the different body age postures, the arm-fold is the most obvious indication of a lack of interest. You actually retain 30% less information from the speaker when you listen with your arms crossed. So, unfold There is no greater gift to give to someone than yourinterest. Be GENTLER with your listening and watch client relationships ind profits inerease! Parti Wood is the author ix“ Signals - Body Language i ‘and “People Savvy.” She MA37LS2E, pativood.net.