FADE IN:

INT. News report room DAY

NEWS REPORTER is sat at desk

NEWS REPORTER
-Which brings us to our top story this morning: A
terrorist video was released last night chastising
the popular food chain Finger Licking Chicken. The
terrorists on the video tape when went on to
threaten to ‘bomb’ Finger Licking Chicken if it
opens it’s doors today.

INT. Room Day

MAX moves his hands and traces a route on a map.

NEWS REPORTER (continued)

There is no news on what restaurants are danger, but

the terrorists did specify three would be destroyed
if they open today.

INT. News Report room DAY

NEWS REPORTER is sat at desk.

NEWS REPORTER
The police have issued a statement and are warning
all members of the public not to visit the
restaurant. So far there are no leads but the police
are assuring us that they are doing everything in
their power to trace the location of the video.

INT. Room DAY

MERV uses a screwdriver to tighten the screws on the bomb.

NEWS REPORTER (continued)

We are now joined live in the studio by the managing

director of Finger Licking Chicken Derek Holmes.

INT. News Report room

NEWS REPORTER and DEREK HOLMES are sat on screen, with DEREK
HOLMES facing NEWS REPORTER. DEREK HOLMES sits with an
arrogant grin.

NEWS REPORTER
So tell me Derek, what has been Finger Licking
Chickens reaction to the video?

DEREK HOLMES
 Firstly, the claims made by the terrorists are
completely untrue. We follow the strictest rules on
animal cruelty and have never treated our animals
unfairly. As the terrorists, I mean, if you just
look at the video-

NEWS REPORTER puts hand to ear.

NEWS REPORTER
I hear we can actually play the video. Why don’t you
talk us through it?

INT. Room EVENING

MAX, MOON AND MERV stand awkwardly in front of a banner that

reads ‘FLC is aninal creulty’. They are all wearing comical
masks.

MAX

We are Jamhad and we believe in animal rights!

MOON

Death to FLC!

The volume of the video decreases to make way for DEREK’S

opinion.

DEREK HOLMES

As you can see they are complete idiots, and they

are just targeting FLC because they obviously have
nothing better to do with their sad lives.

MAX

So the idea is, if FLC are to open their doors

tomorrow, three restaurants will go bang.

MERV

Kabloom!

MOON

Death to FLC!

MOON trips over, dragging MERV down with her.

DEREK HOLMES
Need I say any more on the idiocy of these children?

NEWS REPORTER
 I think not, thank-you for your… opinions on the
video tape. As I said earlier, the police are still
trying to identify the people in the video.

INT. ROOM
MAX holds a mask.

INT. News Reporter room

NEWS REPORTER

Now we want to hear from you, do you think that FLC

should close their restaurants for public safety? Or
do you think that the FLC are right not to cave into
blackmail?

INT. ROOM

MOON paints her face

NEWS REPORTER
The number as always, is at the bottom of your
screens now.

INT. News reporter room

On to our other top stories to morning-

MERV

Ahhhh!

INT. Kitchen

MERV hops on one foot and struggles to find a tea

towel to mop up the tea he just spilt. Realising
that there isn’t one around, he uses his sock
instead.

INT. Kitchen

MAX walks up to MERV from behind and offers a tea towel.

MAX
Here

MERV
Thanks

MAX
You nearly ready?

MERV
Almost, I just gotta drink this tea.

MAX
 Packed?

MAX exits.

INT. Kitchen
MERV looks at MAX over his shoulder.

MERV
Yeah, but you reckon we should take anything, like
water or any paracetamol?

MAX

Are you stupid? Wait, no, I’ll rephrase that, why do

you think we’ll need bleeding paracetamol?

MERV
In case we get a headache, obviously.

INT. Kitchen
MAX smacks his face in frustration.

MAX
Reckon you’ll have a headache when the bomb
explodes? Reckon you’ll need water when you’re dead?
Think you total moron. No, we won’t need bloody
water.

INT. Kitchen

MERV pulls a face

MERV
Alright, Jesus.

INT. Kitchen door

MOON appears from behind the door. She leans in.

MOON
Can I take some water?

INT. Kitchen

MAX repeatedly smacks his head against a wall in frustration

MAX

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

MAX stops banging his head.
MAX(continued)
Oh I know, I’ll show my dedication for animal rights
by teaming up with a hippy and a complete moron.
That’s a good idea Max, you’re full of good ideas!
INT. Kitchen
MAX is visible in the background, with MERV wiping the counter
at the front.

MERV
Moon?

MOON
Yeah?

MERV
I think Max has PMS.

MOON
Men don’t get PMS Merv.

MERV
Oh. But it’s pre-mens-

INT. Kitchen Table

MOON is placing objects in a backpack.

MOON
Men do not get PMS. He’s just a bit stressed out
and… he just wants this to go right.

INT. Kitchen

MAX
Speaking of going, shall we? I think I hear the taxi
driver.

EXT. Outside House DAY

MAX, MERV and MOON walk with their backpacks on down the
drive.

MAX
You all got your maps?

MERV
Yeah

MOON
Mhmmm

MAX
You all know where you are going?

MOON
Yes

MERV
Yeah
MAX stops walking. MOON and MERV stop shortly after.

MAX
Merv, what are you wearing on your feet?

MERV

Slippers.

MAX
Why the Hell are you wearing slippers?

MERV

Cos it’s cold?

MAX
No, why are not wearing shoes you twat?

MERV
(shrugs)
Slippers are comfy.

MAX

You are –

TAXI DRIVER

Oi! Oi!

EXT. Taxi outside house.

TAXI DRIVER beckons over the three terrorists

TAXI DRIVER

You gonna hurry up or what?

INT. Taxi

TAXI DRIVER is sat at the wheel. The three

terrorists can be seen through the back window
advancing to the car.

TAXI DRIVER

Bloody students.

TAXI DRIVER turns on radio. Karma Chameleon begins to play.

INT. Taxi Boot

MAX, MERV and MOON place their luggage into the taxi.

MERV
 You’re not angry are you, I mean, at me?

MAX
(sarcastic)
No, not at all.

MERV

Oh good.

MOON

I think Max was being-

MAX

Get your stuff in the car.

MOON

You really have anger issues. I could have released

your inner chakras, and right now you would have
been calm, collected-

MAX

Shut up with the hippy crap and close the boot will
you?

MOON goes to close the car boot.

EXT. Behind the taxi

MOON, MAX and MERV stand behind the taxi with the taxi driver
visibly dancing in the front.

MAX
Whatever you do, do not let anything slip about our
plan. Ok?

MOON and MERV

Yeah

MAX
I mean it.

MOON, MAX and MERV enter the taxi.

INT. Taxi

TAXI DRIVER has a terrible Australian accent.

TAXI DRIVER
You’re all a bit quiet in the back there. What you
doing today? Aha, tough crowd. Tough crowd. I hope
 you don’t mind speed bumps, I’m taking the rookie
way.

INT. Taxi
MERV turns to MOON

MERV
Reckon the bomb’ll go off if we hit a bump?
MOON
Hm, I hope not.

EXT. Taxi window

MAX bangs his head against the window

INT. Taxi

MAX
(hisses)
Shut up! Don’t say another word about anything!

INT. Taxi
MERV smirks. MOON tries to contain her laughter.

MERV
So where you from? You got a funny accent.

TAXI DRIVER
Australia mate, well the accent is Australian. I’m
actually from Kent, but I love Australia. Like to
move out there ya know? Drives me missus insane. She
got real narked when I borrowed her fake tan. Can’t
get a tan like this over here.

Oh -you watched the news this morning? Those

terrorists look a bunch of amateurs don’t they? Sure
one of them looked like a hippy. Mind you, probably
all hippies, they’re bloody stupid those hippies.

INT. Taxi

MERV laughs.

MERV

Yeah, bloody hippies!

INT. TAXI

MAX moves his head around the front seat headrest.

MAX
We’ll stop just up here.

TAXI DRIVER
Here? But I ain’t there yet.
 MAX
Here will be fine.

TAXI DRIVER
Alrighty then.

INT. TAXI
MAX leans back to sit next to MERV

MERV
But we aren’t there yet…

MAX
Yes, but you can’t keep your bloody mouth shut, so
I’m getting us out now before we get caught.

MAX exits.

MERV gets out of taxi.

EXT. Taxi
TAXI DRIVER leans out of window as MAX pays him.

MAX
You got change?

EXT. Taxi front window.

TAXI DRIVER
Nah, sorry mate.

MAX
Keep the change then.

TAXI DRIVER
Oh thanks mate, you students are real nice. Real
nice people.

TAXI DRIVER drives away.

EXT. Street

Taxi and TAXI DRIVER exits.

MAX, MERV AND MOON stand together.

EXT. Street

MAX, MERV AND MOON stand together.

MAX
Alright, you know what to do. Remember what we do
today will change history… Ok all together! Who are
we?

EXT. Street
MAX, MERV AND MOON puts hands together.
MOON
We’re JAMHAD!

MERV
JAMHAD!

EXT. Wall outside of restaurant.

MERV crouches and creeps along the wall. He then stops and
walks backwards to look at a sign.

EXT. Window displaying sign.

MERV looks at the sign.

EXT. Outside of restaurant

MERV smiles.

EXT. Outside of restaurant.

MERV moves his hand to reveal six pounds in two pound coins.

EXT. Door to restaurant

MERV walks through the doors.

EXT. Park.
MOON looks at a map quizzically.

MOON
(sighs)

MOON glances up from map. She looks at something in the

distance.

MOON
Is that a…

EXT. Park
A lone daffodil sways in the breeze. MOON runs up to it.

EXT. Park
MOON croons over the flower.
MOON
Pretty Daffodil, pretty daffodil.
MOON picks up her map. She studies it.
Daffodil or terrorism…? Hmmm…

EXT. Park and park bin

MOON skips away down the park path. The map and backpack
clearly visible in the bin.

EXT. Restaurant exterior and door.

MAX stands back to wall. He takes a few deep breaths and whips
open the door and charges inside.

INT. Kitchen
MAX charges through the kitchen.

MAX
JAMHAD! JAMHAD! DIE FINGER LICKING CHICKEN!¬

MAX pulls the trigger on his back pack. A puff of smoke

comically leaves it.

INT. Kitchen
KITCHEN WORKER ONE and KITCHEN WORKER TWO stare at Max as if
unimpressed. They continue to methodically dry plates.

INT. Kitchen
MAX looks petrified after the failed attempt to blow the
restaurant up.

MAX
Aha… I’ll be going…

INT. Kitchen
KITCHEN WORKER ONE shakes their head with the same unimpressed
look upon his face.

FADE TO BLACK.

END.