Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Contacts
email: office@grg.org.nz
phone: (09)480-6530 9:00am to 3:00pm
0800 472637 (toll calls only please
from Grandparents raising)
www.raisinggrandchildren.org.nz
Mission:
We provide support to Grandparents who are primary caregivers to grandchildren in difficult circumstances
and to ensure fair treatment from the legal and child protection services in New Zealand, in order to stablise
and normalise the life of the children involved.
Aims:
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To provide support to grandparents who are primary caregivers
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To provide opportunities for the grandchildren to meet others in the same situation
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To raise awareness as to the role of the grandparents in the primary caregiving role
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To undertake research to establish the depth of grandparents in the primary caregiver role in New Zealand
and respond accordingly
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To facilitate change in the legal and child custody systems
We have been involved in his care since birth and last year finally applied and was given full custody.
Not knowing through all of this that I would have had in the last 4yrs, 3 x hip replacements (the 3rd was
because I was trying to hurry and fell over). My husband has been made redundant after 32 yrs, and we
soon found out that those huge packages that people used to get on redundancy are long gone, max now if
you are lucky is 50-52wks pay, this after a lifetime of service. But your letters always make us realize just
how lucky we are....we only have one to care for. My husband and I love the joy and laughter and the sad
bits too when your mail comes......what a wonderful job you all do. Granddad & Grandma
Our History:
When in 1997, Diane Vivian took over the care of her small, traumatised grandchildren, she could not
believe the stress she encountered.
Setting about to discover what help or support was available in 1999, she found there was none! She
decided there must be many others in her position and put an ad in the paper. The phone did not stop
ringing. A need had been identified. In consultation with Jill Nerheny, the Birkenhead /Northcote Community
Co-ordinator, a support group was set up under the controller of the Community Facilities Trust. A public
meeting was held and they knew they had a tiger by the tail. As the group grew they spent many months
venting, weeping, sharing and building trust. The group set the objectives and a vision statement which now
form the founding document and guiding principles of all the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Groups.
Today there are over 45 support groups throughout the country, reaching from Dargaville in the north to
Invercargill in the South. Membership grows daily. Groups actively lobby parliament, network with other
communities and speak to many community organizations.
They strive to make a difference for all grandchildren and grandparents who care about them.
The organisation salutes all Grandparents who have taken in Grandchildren and put the needs of those
precious ones before their own. You are indeed doing angels' work here on earth. Together we have made a
difference in a child's life.
Support
If anyone is interested in starting another support group, please email the Trust at office@grg.org.nz
Regional Co Ordinators
Otago North Adrian & Leonie Vogel Ph 03 465 1754 email: omaandopa@xtra.co.nz
Research
Here you can read a summary of the research that GRG have done, and also download a copy of the
research report.
Grandparents fulfilling the role as parents to their grandchildren are doing their bit under the Children Young
Persons and Their Families Act to keep children together with their siblings and families, but they are getting
a raw deal from the Government, Child Youth and Family, Work and Income New Zealand staff and the
justice system,” says Jill Worrall. Jill Worrall spoke to an audience of judges and lawyers at the 4th Annual
Child Law 2005 Conference in Auckland today. (11th March 2005)
A trustee of the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Charitable Trust and Honorary Research Associate at
the School of Social and Cultural Studies at Massey University in Auckland, Jill Worrall today released a
Research Report, commissioned by the Trust following a survey of 324 grandparents and other kin
caregivers across New Zealand.
The research represents the largest quantitative and qualitative analysis undertaken in New Zealand or
Australasia covering the issues grandparents, in particular, and other family members such as aunts, uncles
and even great grandparents are experiencing as they struggle to cope with raising children placed in their
care when the parents, for various reasons, are unfit or unable to care for them.
Among the key concerns outlined by Ms Worrall at the conference was the incidence of grandparents paying
considerable legal fees (either paying privately or through Statutory Legal Aid Charges) to obtain custody
and guardianship of their grandchildren – often at the behest of Child Youth and Family where the child/ren
are considered at risk and in need of care and protection.
The report also illustrates that while fulfilling the same role as foster caregivers, providing stability, security
and safety for the children, the grandparents are typically left to cope on their own with the legal costs,
counselling, medical, clothing, schooling, and accommodation costs at a time when many of them have
retired, down-sized their homes or have health concerns of their own.
Often the only financial support available for the children is the Unsupported Child Allowance which is
considerably less than what is available for foster care parents and nearly half of the respondents in this
survey reported that they were not receiving it at all. One grandmother in the survey on superannuation
cared for five grandchildren over a period of 12 years after her two daughters died and has only received the
UCB since 2003 because no one previously told her she was eligible for any sort of financial assistance. The
children were aged 18 months, 3, 4, 5 and 17 years respectively when they came into her care.
On top of all the day to day pressures of raising these children, the report further illustrates that many of the
grandparents are also having to go to Court to defend ongoing applications from parents, who are
challenging their custodial status as primary caregivers in circumstances where there is little realistic
prospect of the parents being in a position to adequately provide and care for their children. Many of the
grandparents also live in fear of attacks of physical violence or psychological abuse from these parents.
This research confirms what the Trust has known anecdotally for the past several years,” says Diane Vivian,
National Convenor of the Trust. “There is a real crisis in the care of children by extended family or
grandparents in New Zealand and we have been telling the Government for a long time that it is simply
unjust for children at risk to be so disadvantaged simply because they are now being cared for by extended
family instead of by strangers. There must be equity in the system and we must make sure that these
children and their caregivers get the financial and social support they need.”
Mrs Vivian also points out that: “In many cases these grandparents will be dead in the next 10-20 years and
these children are the next generation of adults in our society. They need proper support now if they have
any chance of being productive members of society rather than following the example of their parents into a
life of crime, drug and alcohol abuse, violence and ultimately abuse of their own children in future.”
The report’s findings show that most of the grandparents providing the primary day to day care are doing so
under considerable stress financially, emotionally and socially. The research shows that:
- 82.69% of caregivers are over 50 years of age with a significant proportion (43%) of them aged over 60
- 58.9% of the caregivers had a deterioration in their health since assuming the primary care of the children
- 37% of the caregivers were caring for their grandchildren on an income of less than $20,000 per annum,
with a further 29.2% on an income of $20,000-$40,000 per annum. Less than one quarter have an income
over $40,000
- Parental relationship breakdown is a common feature for the children being cared for by their grandparents
- The major cause of placement with grandparents is drug (40.255%) and alcohol (29.10%) abuse and
neglect (as a co-existing state).
- The age of the parents at the time grandparents assumed primary care of their children was also analysed.
The largest cohort for both genders was in the 20-30 year age group. The figures tend to debunk any theory
grandparents are for the most part assuming the care of children of teenage parents
- Nearly 25% of the caregivers have been caring for their grandchildren since birth, with drug/alcohol abuse,
mental illness, abandonment, parental incapacity or incapability being cited as the principal reason for the
placements.
- Nearly 85% of the respondents in the survey reported that the children in their care suffered from physical
illness or disability with Asthma being the most prevalent condition (30%)
- Behavioural and psychological problems of various types were reported with 22.91% reporting severe
aggressive behaviour, 18% reporting destructive behaviour (to property and persons), 17.34% reporting
conduct disorder and 21.67% with ADD or ADHD, with 18.58% citing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
- 77% reported that they had not received any financial assistance to pay for the specialist fees and medical
costs associated with their grandchildren’s physical and/or psychological problems.
Among the key recommendations in the Ms Worrall’s report to the Government, its
agencies and the courts are that:
· Kin/whanau caregivers must receive adequate income support commensurate with Foster Care Board
Payments and financial support that is reflective of the particular needs of children placed with kin/whanau.
· WINZ workers should be better educated with respect to the income support entitlements of grandparent
and kin caregivers, particularly in relation to the UCB and other benefits they are entitled to in addition to the
UCB
· Judges need to focus more on the need of children to have placement stability and they should be more
proactive in the prevention of on-going custody challenges by disingenuous parties who place their own
needs above that of their children and put their children’s stability and security in jeopardy.
· Respite care, day care, after school care, free medical care and free counselling should be provided as a
matter of course for kin/whanau caregivers, particularly grandparents.
· Where a child has been under the care of Child Youth and Family, all legal expenses incurred to achieve
kin/whanau custody and/or guardianship should be paid for by the State. Similarly Grandparents gaining
permanent custody/guardianship of their grandchildren should not be liable to repay legal aid payments.
The above is a minute taste of this rich data, the complete research is 77 pages.
7 Things Parents Should Never Say to a Tween (10 – 13yrs) - Dr. Michele Borba
Talking with a tween can be like walking through a minefield. Any moment you could be asking what you
thought was a simple, sincere question only to find it triggering an explosive response.
In all fairness, these middle school years are like an emotional roller-coaster brought on by peer pressure,
bullying, stress, school, raging hormones, and just trying to fit in. So how do you survive those minefields
and still stay connected? The first step is to avoid these seven big tween "turn offs."
8 Ways You Can Improve the Quality of the Time You Spend With Your Kids
There is nothing as important as spending time with your children. Unfortunately, time is a limited
commodity, and nobody has enough. That is why it is important to make every second that you can be with
them as valuable as you possibly can.
The following are a couple of inspirations that may help you to improve the quality of the time you spend with
your kids. Unlike guidelines, these are only designed to make you think more deeply about your relationship
with your family, and with yourself. return to top
1. Pencil Them In
You should set aside at least a few hours at the same time and day every week, to spend with your kids.
This teaches them to trust you, and lets them know that they can count on you, which can deepen the
overall relationship. It also gives them a positive, regular routine. Routines are important for kids because it
helps them earn about the cyclic nature of the world, which in turn can help them to develop the quality of
dependability.
8. Don’t Be Boring
Spice things up, try new things, and don’t be afraid to experiment. The same old activities will eventually be
as boring for your kids as they are for you. In doing new things, which you have never tried before, you will
create truly unique memories which are very powerful and important.
These are just a list of things to consider when evaluating your relationship with your kids. None of them are
hard rules; they are merely designed to make you think. As you explore your relationship with your children,
it is always important to evaluate your time together, and make sure that it is as effective as it can possibly
be.
There are two easy ways to help your child learn to make choices:
1. Involve them in choosing everyday things e.g. what to wear, what they want on their sandwich, what’s for
dinner.
2. Ask for their input in family discussions where you can allow them to choose the outcome e.g. where to go
for an outing, who to invite to a party.
Use the word ‘choice’ with your children. ‘Which do you choose?’ ‘What will your choice be?’ Remember,
when children are young, to limit choices to two to make their decision making easier. Older children will be
able to cope with a wider range of choice. Remember too, don’t offer your child choice if you are not
prepared to follow through. Children need to know that their choice will occur.
Giving our kids choice has a couple of bonuses in addition to helping them make decisions and increasing
their independence. Children will take more ownership of a situation if they have been involved in the
decision and this helps them stick to the agreement. If you often battle with your child about getting them to
do things giving choice can be an effective way to get results without the arguments. Such questions as:
“Would you like to do it now or within the next half hour?” give the child decision making power instead of
being told directly what to do.
The other wonderful bonus is of course children who are encouraged to make choices have a higher self
esteem because they are included in family decision making and given chances to express their opinions.
They see their point of view as being valued by their family and are more confident when facing new
situations.
As you finish reading this article, ask yourself the question: “How can I give my child more choice in his/her
life?” If we parent keeping this question in mind, we will be raising our children to be experienced decision
makers and independent thinkers. They will be more confident and able to meet the challenging decisions
ahead. We might even reduce some of those every day battles along the way!