REBELLION

Their music and their shoes need to improve first!

AMONGST

OUR

YOUTH?

hats with all these people sporting a pair of Croc shoes these days? Now Im no fashion guru, but one thing I know for damn sure, is that Crocs are completely hideous and only a prize mook would purchase a pair and labour under the illusion that wearing giant garish rubber shoes was somehow a symbol of their individuality and good taste. Ive only just managed to get over the fact that some grown men (who look suspiciously clean) feel the need to wear flip-flops as theyre flouncing around the local caf bar. It was getting to the point where I wanted to pistol whip any male flip-flop wearer to within an inch of their lives when I decided to just let it go Lee and put it down to general footwear madness in modern society, but now that Crocs have taken over Ive found myself sat at home in the dark, watching Taxi Driver, greasing my piece and scratching various significant names into hollow-point bullets with a cutthroat razor. Its funny, isnt it, how those little things in life compel you to commit murder. Take the Hull Music scene for example.. What's all this shit with the Paddingtons headlining every gig in Hull these days? A brother just can't turn around without seeing a poster proclaiming that 'Hull's Best Band" is playing at some benefit, Indie-revival or some sort of retard tea-dance. Look, I've got nothing personal against the Paddies because the fact that a band containing a couple of working-class kids from Hull managed to make an impression in the national music press is fantastic, but it has to be said, in the grand scheme of things, they are an average rock and roll band who managed to scale those dizzy heights simply because the major record companies, and their distributors, are milking MySpace for the next homogenized plastic rebels who will guarantee them sales by spouting badly thought out lines of controlled controversy in the press, and attaching themselves to Pete Doherty, Puff Daddy or whoever they perceive is cool that week! There is no real rebellion, revolution or subversion in the

charts anymore. Music has been sucked dry of any worth, power or protest and all we have left is a production line of bed-wetting singer/song-writers and lyrically-challenged kiddie bands called The View, The Horrors, The Spades, The Croutons, The Nazis or whatever names their Speak & Spells managed to conjure up for them. Just look at the acts that appeared at that godforsaken Princess Diana concert or the ridiculous Live Earth fiasco. What a floppy bunch of clueless cock Jews we had representing the cream of UK music. Keane, Duran Duran, Snow Patrol, and the once promising, but now terminallyterrible, Joss Stone! It was embarrassing to say the least. So much so that I almost handed in my passport and rang the Venezuelan Embassy for an asylum application because I was so disenchanted. The best British professional band who actually sounded like they had any hairs on their balls was Genesis and as much as I am an admirer of their early work (and a few tracks of their later stuff) its worrying. Because when Genesis start to sound like the best thing since sliced pizza the last ride of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse cannot be far away. I know in the grand scheme of things rubber boots and shit music doesnt really rank highly on the list of world priorities, but even so, they are sure-fire signs that something is rotten in Denmark and until people see sense and start producing inspiring music and quality footwear you will find me sat with the lights off, cock-in-hand, revolver cocked and shoes polished. Lee Cassanell (Not Casserole by the way! Santas Buggerboyz. You bought off the Editor last issue but your card is now well and truly marked onto the V.I.P guest-list at the gates of Hell. ) P.S The answer to the question that you were pondering earlier is that you can only get four fingers in a Kit Kat.

TENFOOT CITY XMAS ISSUE OUT DEC 1ST