1

Meditations

FortyDhammaTalks
by

ThanissaroBhikkhu (GeoffreyDeGraff)
forfreedistribution

2 CopyrightThanissaroBhikkhu2003 Thisbookmaybecopiedorreprintedforfreedistribution withoutpermissionfromthepublisher. Otherwiseallrightsreserved.

Contents
Introduction GenerosityFirst TheHow&theWhy WatchWhatYoureDoing TheInteractivePresent Imagine IntheMood TheStorytellingMind HowtoFall TuningintotheBreath BathedintheBreath TheStepsofBreathMeditation TheObserver Judiciousvs.Judgmental ImpossibleThings ContentmentinthePractice Patience TrainingtheWholeMind TheGrainoftheWood AGoodDoseofMedicine LifeintheBuddhasHospital Vows TheDignityofRestraint Fears SkillstoTakewithYou MaintenanceWork SensitivityAlltheTime ThePathofQuestions AdmirableFriendship HeighteningtheMind RespectforConcentration TheUsesofPleasure&Pain AnIntroductiontoPain ADependableMind TheComponentsofSuffering GivingRisetoDiscernment ProducingExperience MasteringCausality

4 TheSixProperties Fabrication AttheDooroftheCage Glossary

Introduction
ThedailyscheduleatMettaForestMonasteryincludesagroupinterviewin thelateafternoon,andachantingsessionfollowedbyagroupmeditationperiod laterintheevening.TheDhammatalksincludedinthisvolumeweregiven duringtheeveningmeditationsessions,andinmanycasescoveredissuesraised attheinterviewseitherinthequestionsaskedorlurkingbehindthequestions. Oftentheseissuestouchedonavarietyoftopicsonavarietyofdifferentlevelsin thepractice.Thisexplainstherangeoftopicscoveredinindividualtalks. Ihaveeditedthetalkswithaneyetomakingthemreadablewhileatthesame timetryingtopreservesomeoftheflavorofthespokenword.Inafewinstances Ihaveaddedpassagesorrearrangedthetalkstomakethetreatmentofspecific topicsmorecoherentandcomplete,butforthemostpartIhavekepttheediting toaminimum.Dontexpectpolishedessays. The people listening to these talks were familiar with the meditation instructions included in Method 2 in Keeping the Breath in Mind by Ajaan Lee Dhammadharo; and my own essay, A Guided Meditation. If you are not familiar with these instructions, you might want to read through them before reading the talks in this book. Also, further Dhamma talks are available at www.mettaforest.org and www.dhammatalks.org. IwouldliketothankBokLimKimformakingtherecordingofthesetalks possible.She,morethananyoneelse,isresponsibleforovercomingmyinitial reluctancetohavethetalkstaped.Iwouldalsoliketothankthefollowingpeople fortranscribingthetapesand/orhelpingtoeditthetranscriptions:Pauland DebraBreger,RichardHeiman,JaneYudelman,DhammatthoBhikkhu, GunaddhoBhikkhu,andSusuddhoBhikkhu.Maytheyallbehappy.

ThanissaroBhikkhu

MettaForestMonastery August,2003

GenerosityFirst
March,2003 Severalyearsago,whenAjaanSuwatwasteachingaretreatatIMS,Iwashis interpreter.Afterthesecondorthirddayoftheretreatheturnedtomeandsaid, Inoticethatwhenthesepeoplemeditatetheyreawfullygrim.Youdlookout across the room and all the people were sitting there very seriously, theirfaces tense,theireyesclosedtight.ItwasalmostasiftheyhadNirvanaorBustwritten acrosstheirforeheads. HeattributedtheirgrimnesstothefactthatmostpeoplehereintheWest cometoBuddhistmeditationwithoutanypreparationinotherBuddhist teachings.Theyhaventhadanyexperienceinbeinggenerousinlinewiththe Buddhasteachingsongiving.Theyhaventhadanyexperienceindeveloping virtueinlinewiththeBuddhistprecepts.TheycometotheBuddhasteachings withouthavingtestedthemindailylife,sotheydonthavethesenseof confidencetheyneedtogetthemthroughthehardpartsofthemeditation.They feeltheyhavetorelyonsheerdeterminationinstead. Ifyoulookatthewaymeditation,virtue,andgenerosityaretaughthere,its theexactoppositeoftheorderinwhichtheyretaughtinAsia.Here,peoplesign upforaretreattolearnsomemeditation,andonlywhentheyshowupatthe retreatcenterdotheylearntheyregoingtohavetoobservesomeprecepts duringtheretreat.Andthenattheveryendoftheretreattheylearnthatbefore theyllbeallowedtogohometheyregoingtohavetobegenerous.Itsall backwards. OverinThailand,childrensfirstexposuretoBuddhism,aftertheyvelearned thegestureofrespect,isingiving.Youseeparentstakingtheirchildrenbythe handasamonkcomespastonhisalmsround,liftingthemup,andhelpingthem putaspoonfulofriceintothemonksbowl.Overtime,asthechildrenstart doingitthemselves,theprocessbecomeslessandlessmechanical,andaftera whiletheybegintotakepleasureingiving. Atfirstthispleasuremayseemcounterintuitive.Theideathatyougain happinessbygivingthingsawaydoesntcomeautomaticallytoayoungchilds mind.Butwithpracticeyoufindthatitstrue.Afterall,whenyougive,youput yourselfinapositionofwealth.Thegiftisproofthatyouhavemorethan enough.Atthesametimeitgivesyouasenseofyourworthasaperson.Youre abletohelpotherpeople.Theactofgivingalsocreatesasenseofspaciousnessin themind,becausetheworldweliveiniscreatedbyouractions,andtheactof givingcreatesaspaciousworld:aworldwheregenerosityisanoperating principle,aworldwherepeoplehavemorethanenough,enoughtoshare.Andit createsagoodfeelinginthemind.

7 Fromthere,thechildrenareexposedtovirtue:thepracticeoftheprecepts. Andagain,fromachildspointofviewitscounterintuitivethatyouregoingto behappybynotdoingcertainthingsyouwanttodoaswhenyouwanttotake something,orwhenyouwanttolietocoverupyourembarrassmentorto protectyourselffromcriticismandpunishment.Butovertimeyoubeginto discoverthat,yes,thereisasenseofhappiness,thereisasenseofwellbeingthat comesfrombeingprincipled,fromnothavingtocoverupforanylies,from avoidingunskillfulactions,fromhavingasensethatunskillfulactionsare beneathyou. Sobythetimeyoucometomeditationthroughtherouteofgivingandbeing virtuous,youvealreadyhadexperienceinlearningthatthereare counterintuitiveformsofhappinessintheworld.Whenyouvebeentrained throughexposuretotheBuddhasteachings,youvelearnedthedeeper happinessthatcomesfromgiving,thedeeperhappinessthatcomesfrom restrainingyourselffromunskillfulactions,nomatterhowmuchyoumight wanttodothem.Bythetimeyoucometothemeditationyouvedevelopeda certainsenseofconfidencethatsofartheBuddhahasbeenright,soyougivehim thebenefitofthedoubtonmeditation. Thisconfidenceiswhatallowsyoutoovercomealotoftheinitialdifficulties: thedistractions,thepain.Atthesametime,thespaciousnessthatcomesfrom generositygivesyoutherightmindsetfortheconcentrationpractice,givesyou therightmindsetforinsightpracticebecausewhenyousitdownandfocuson thebreath,whatkindofminddoyouhave?Themindyouvebeencreating throughyourgenerousandvirtuousactions.Aspaciousmind,notthenarrow mindofapersonwhodoesnthaveenough.Itsthespaciousmindofaperson whohasmorethanenoughtoshare,themindofapersonwhohasnoregretsor denialoverpastactions.Inshort,itsthemindofapersonwhorealizesthattrue happinessdoesntseeasharpdichotomybetweenyourownwellbeingandthe wellbeingofothers. Thewholeideathathappinesshastoconsisteitherindoingthingsonlyfor yourownselfishmotivesorforotherpeopletothesacrificeofyourselfthe dichotomybetweenthetwoissomethingveryWestern,butitsantitheticalto theBuddhasteachings.AccordingtotheBuddhasteachings,truehappinessis somethingthat,byitsnature,getsspreadaround.Byworkingforyourowntrue benefit,youreworkingforthebenefitofothers.Andbyworkingforthebenefit ofothers,youreworkingforyourown.Intheactofgivingtoothersyougain rewards.Intheactofholdingfasttotheprecepts,holdingfasttoyourprinciples, protectingothersfromyourunskillfulbehavior,yougainaswell.Yougainin mindfulness;yougaininyourownsenseofworthasaperson,yourownself esteem.Youprotectyourself. Soyoucometothemeditationreadytoapplythesameprinciplestotraining intranquilityandinsight.Yourealizethatthemeditationisnotaselfishproject. Youresittingheretryingtounderstandyourgreed,anger,anddelusion,trying

8 tobringthemundercontrolwhichmeansthatyourenottheonlypersonwhos goingtobenefitfromthemeditation.Otherpeoplewillbenefitarebenefiting aswell.Asyoubecomemoremindful,morealert,moreskillfulinundercutting thehindrancesinyourmind,otherpeoplearelesssubjecttothosehindrancesas well.Lessgreed,anger,anddelusioncomeoutinyouractions,andsothepeople aroundyousufferless.Yourmeditatingisagifttothem. Thequalityofgenerosity,whattheycallcagainPali,isincludedinmanysets ofDhammateachings.Oneisthesetofpracticesleadingtoafortunaterebirth. Thisdoesntapplyonlytotherebirththatcomesafterdeath,butalsotothestates ofbeing,thestatesofmindyoucreateforyourselfmomenttomoment,thatyou moveintowitheachmoment.Youcreatetheworldinwhichyoulivethrough youractions.Bybeinggenerousnotonlywithmaterialthingsbutalsowith yourtime,yourenergy,yourforgiveness,yourwillingnesstobefairandjust withotherpeopleyoucreateagoodworldinwhichtolive.Ifyourhabitstend moretowardbeingstingy,theycreateaveryconfiningworld,becausetheres neverenough.Theresalwaysalackofthis,oralackofthat,orafearthat somethingisgoingtoslipawayorgettakenawayfromyou.Soitsanarrow, fearfulworldyoucreatewhenyourenotgenerous,asopposedtotheconfident andwideopenworldyoucreatethroughactsofgenerosity. GenerosityalsocountsasoneoftheformsofNobleWealth,becausewhatis wealthasidefromasenseofhavingmorethanenough?Manypeoplewhoare materiallypoorare,intermsoftheirattitude,verywealthy.Andmanypeople withalotofmaterialwealthareextremelypoor.Theoneswhoneverhave enough:Theyretheoneswhoalwaysneedmoresecurity,alwaysneedmoreto stashaway.Thosearethepeoplewhohavetobuildwallsaroundtheirhouses, whohavetoliveingatedcommunitiesforfearthatotherpeoplewilltakeaway whattheyvegot.Thatsaverypoorkindoflife,aconfinedkindoflife.Butas youpracticegenerosity,yourealizethatyoucangetbyonless,andthattheresa pleasurethatcomeswithgivingtopeople.Rightthereisasenseofwealth.You havemorethanenough. Atthesametimeyoubreakdownbarriers.Monetarytransactionscreate barriers.Somebodyhandsyousomething,youhavetohandthemmoneyback, sotheresabarrierrightthere.Otherwise,ifyoudidntpay,theobjectwouldnt cometoyouoverthebarrier.Butifsomethingisfreelygiven,itbreaksdowna barrier.Youbecomepartofthatpersonsextendedfamily.InThailandtheterms ofaddressthatmonksusewiththeirlaysupportersarethesametheyusewith relatives.Thegiftofsupportcreatesasenseofrelatedness.Themonasterywhere Istayedandthisincludesthelaysupportersaswellasthemonkswaslikea largeextendedfamily.ThisistrueofmanyofthemonasteriesinThailand. Theresasenseofrelatedness,alackofboundary. Wehearsomuchtalkoninterconnectedness.Manytimesitsexplainedin termsoftheteachingondependentcoarising,whichisreallyaninappropriate useoftheteaching.Dependentcoarisingteachestheconnectednessofignorance

9 tosuffering,theconnectednessofcravingtosuffering.Thatsaconnectedness withinthemind,anditsaconnectednessthatweneedtocut,becauseitkeeps sufferinggoingonandonandon,overandoveragain,inmany,manycycles. Buttheresanotherkindofconnectedness,anintentionalconnectedness,that comesthroughouractions.Thesearekammaconnections.Now,weintheWest oftenhaveproblemswiththeteachingsonkamma,whichmaybewhywewant theteachingsonconnectednesswithoutthekamma.Sowegolookingelsewhere intheBuddhasteachingstofindarationaleorabasisforateachingon connectedness,buttherealbasisforasenseofconnectednesscomesthrough kamma.Whenyouinteractwithanotherperson,aconnectionismade. Now,itcanbeapositiveoranegativeconnection,dependingonthe intention.Withgenerosityyoucreateapositiveconnection,ahelpfulconnection, aconnectionwhereyouregladthattheboundaryisdown,aconnectionwhere goodthingscanflowbackandforth.Ifitsunskillfulkamma,yourecreatinga connection,yourecreatinganopeningthatsoonerorlateryouregoingtoregret. TheresasayingintheDhammapadathatahandwithoutawoundcanhold poisonandnotbeharmed.Inotherwords,ifyoudonthaveanybadkamma,the resultsofbadkammawontcometoyou.Butifyouhaveawoundonyourhand, thenifyouholdpoisonitwillseepthroughthewoundandkillyou.Unskillful kammaisjustthat,awound.Itsanopeningforpoisonousthingstocomein. Theoppositeprinciplealsoworks.Iftheresaconnectionofskillfulbehavior, agoodconnectionisformed.Thissortofpositiveconnectionstartswith generosity,andgrowswiththegiftofvirtue.AstheBuddhasaid,whenyouhold toyourpreceptsnomatterwhat,withnoexceptions,itsagiftofsecuritytoall beings.Yougiveunlimitedsecuritytoeveryone,andsoyouhaveashareinthat unlimitedsecurityaswell.Withthegiftofmeditation,youprotectotherpeople fromtheeffectsofyourgreed,anger,anddelusion.Andyougetprotectedas well. Sothisiswhatgenerositydoes:Itmakesyourmindmorespaciousand createsgoodconnectionswiththepeoplearoundyou.Itdissolvestheboundaries thatotherwisewouldkeepthehappinessfromspreadingaround. Whenyoucometothemeditationwiththatstateofmind,ittotallychanges thewayyouapproachmeditating.Somanypeoplecometomeditationwiththe question,WhatamIgoingtogetoutofthistimeIspendmeditating? Particularlyinthemodernworld,timeissomethingwereverypoorin.Sothe questionofgetting,getting,gettingoutofthemediationisalwaysthereinthe background.Wereadvisedtoerasethisideaofgetting,yetyoucanteraseitif youvebeencultivatingitasahabitualpartofyourmind.Butifyoucometothe meditationwithexperienceinbeinggenerous,thequestionbecomesWhatdoI givetothemeditation?Yougiveityourfullattention.Yougiveittheeffort, yourehappytoputintheeffort,becauseyouvelearnedfromexperiencethat goodeffortputintothepracticeoftheDhammabringsgoodresults.Andsothat

10 internalpovertyofWhatamIgettingoutofthismeditation?getserased.You cometothemeditationwithasenseofwealth:WhatcanIgivetothispractice? Youfind,ofcourse,thatyouendupgettingalotmoreifyoustartwiththe attitudeofgiving.Themindismoreupforchallenges:HowaboutifIgiveit moretime?HowaboutmeditatinglaterintothenightthanIusuallydo?How aboutgettingupearlierinthemorning?Howaboutgivingmoreconstant attentiontowhatImdoing?Howaboutsittinglongerthroughpain?The meditationthenbecomesaprocessofgiving,andofcourseyoustillgetthe results.Whenyourenotsogrudgingofyoureffortsortime,youplacefewerand fewerlimitationsontheprocessofmeditation.Thatwaytheresultsaresuretobe lessgrudging,moreunlimited,aswell.Soitsimportantthatwedevelopthe NobleWealthofgenerositytobringtoourmeditation. Thetextsmentionthatwhenyougetdiscouragedinyourmeditation,when themeditationgetsdry,youshouldlookbackonpastgenerosity.Thisgivesyou asenseofselfesteem,asenseofencouragement.Ofcourse,whatgenerosityare yougoingtolookbackonifthereisnone?Thisiswhyitsimportantthatyou approachthemeditationhavingpracticedgenerosityveryconsciously. Manytimesweask,HowdoItakethemeditationbackintotheworld?But itsalsoimportantthatyoubringgoodqualitiesoftheworldintoyour meditation,goodqualitiesofyourdaytodaylife,andthatyoudevelopthem regularly.Thinkingbackonpastactsofgenerositygetsdryafterawhileif theresonlybeenoneactofgenerositythathappenedalongtimeago.Youneed freshgenerositytogiveyouencouragement. Sothisiswhy,whentheBuddhatalkedabouttheformsofmerit,hesaid, Dontbeafraidofmerit,formeritisanotherwordforhappiness.Thefirstof thethreemainformsofmeritisdana,giving,whichistheexpressionof generosity.Thegiftofbeingvirtuousbuildsonthesimpleactofgiving,andthe giftofmeditationbuildsonboth. Ofcourse,alargepartofthemeditationislettinggo:lettinggoof distractions,lettinggoofunskillfulthoughts.Ifyoureusedtolettinggoof materialthings,itcomesaloteasiertobeginexperimentingwithlettinggoof unskillfulmentalattitudesthingsthatyouveheldontoforsolongthatyou thinkyouneedthem,butwhenyoureallylookatthemyoufindyoudont.In fact,youseethattheyreanunnecessaryburdenthatcausessuffering.Whenyou seethesuffering,andthefactthatitsneedless,youcanletgo.Inthisway,the momentumofgivingcarriesallthewaythroughthepractice,andyourealize thatitsnotdeprivingyouofanything.Itsmorelikeatrade.Yougiveawaya materialobjectandyougainingenerousqualitiesofmind.Yougiveawayyour defilements,andyougainfreedom.

11

TheHow&theWhy
November14,1996 Twoimportantquestionsyouhavetoansweraboutmeditationarehow? andwhy?howtodoitandwhyyouaredoingitbecausemeditationisnot justatechnique.Theresacontextforthepractice,andonlywhenyouseethe practiceincontextcanyoureallyunderstandwhatyouredoingandgetthemost outofit. Thehowisprettysimple.Withbreathmeditation,sitstraight,handsin yourlap,righthandontopofyourlefthand,yourlegscrossed,rightlegontop oftheleftleg,youreyesclosed.Thatsgettingyourbodyintoposition.Getting yourmindintopositionmeansfocusingitinonthepresentmoment.Think aboutthebreathandthennoticehowthebreathfeelsasitcomesin,howitfeels asitgoesout.Beawareofthebreathing.Thatmeansyouhavetwoqualitiesat work:thethinkingormindfulness,whichremindsyouwheretostay;andthe alertness,whichtellsyouwhatshappeningwiththebreath.Thosearetwoofthe qualitiesyouwant. ThethirdqualityiswhattheBuddhacalledatappa,orardency,whichmeans youreallyputaneffortintoit.Youreallyfocusonwhatyouredoing.Yourenot justplayingaround.Yougiveityourwholeattention.Youtrytobeardently mindfulandardentlyalert. Ardentlymindfulmeansthatyoutrytokeepyourmindfulnessascontinuous aspossible,withoutanygaps.Ifyoufindthatyourmindhasslippedoffthe breath,youbringitrightback.Youdontletitdawdlehereorsniffattheflowers there.Youvegotworktodoandyouwanttogetitdoneasquickly,as thoroughly,aspossible.Youhavetomaintainthatkindofattitude.Asthe Buddhasaid,itslikerealizingthatyourheadisonfire.Youputitoutasfastas possible.Theissuesweredealingwithareseriousissues,urgentissues:aging, illness,anddeath.Theyrelikefiresburningawayinsideus.Soyouhaveto maintainthatsenseofardencybecauseyouneverknowwhenthesefiresare goingtoflareup.Youwanttobeaspreparedaspossible,asquicklyaspossible. Sowhenthemindwandersoff,beardentinbringingitback. Ardentlyalertmeansthatwhenthemindisstayingwiththebreath,youtryto beassensitiveaspossibleinadjustingittomakeitfeelgood,andinmonitoring theresultsofyourefforts.Trylongbreathingtoseehowitfeels.Tryshort breathing,heavybreathing,lightbreathing,deep,shallow.Themorerefinedyou canmakeyourawareness,thebetterthemeditationgoesbecauseyoucanmake thebreathmoreandmorerefined,amoreandmorecomfortableplaceforthe mindtostay.Thenyoucanletthatsenseofcomfortspreadthroughoutthebody. Thinkofthebreathnotsimplyastheaircominginandoutthelungs,butasthe flowofenergythroughoutthewholebody.Themorerefinedyourawareness,

12 themoresensitiveyoucanbetothatflow.Themoresensitiveyouare,themore refinedthebreathbecomes,themoregratifying,themoreabsorbingitbecomes asaplacetostay. Thisisthebasictrickingettingthemindtosettledowninthepresent momentyouvegottogiveitsomethingthatitlikestostaywith.Ifitshere againstitswill,itsgoingtobelikeaballoonyoupushunderthewater.Aslong asyourhandhasagoodgraspontheballoon,itsnotgoingtopopup,butas soonasyouslipalittlebit,theballoonpopsupoutofthewater.Ifthemindis forcedtostayonanobjectthatitreallyfindsunpleasant,itsnotgoingtostay.As soonasyourmindfulnessslipsjustalittlebit,itsgone. Oryoucancompareittoparentsraisingachild.Iftheparentsareconstantly beatingthechild,thechildisgoingtorunawayfromhomeassoonasitfindsthe chance.Eveniftheylockthewindowsanddoors,itsgoingtolookforan opening.Assoonastheyturntheirbacks,itsgone.Butiftheparentsarekindto thechildgiveitgoodthingstoplaywith,interestingthingstodoathome,lots ofwarmthandlovethechildwillwanttostayhomeevenifthewindowsand doorsareleftwideopen. Soitiswiththemind.Befriendlywithit.Giveitsomethinggoodtostaywith inthepresentmomentlikecomfortablebreathing.Maybeyoucantmakethe wholebodycomfortable,butmakeatleastpartofthebodycomfortableandstay withthatpart.Asforthepains,letthembeintheotherpart.Theyhaveevery righttobethere,somakeanarrangementwiththem.Theystayinonepart,you stayinanother.Buttheessentialpointisthatyouhaveaplacewherethemind feelsstable,secure,andcomfortableinthepresentmoment.Thesearethe beginningstepsinmeditation. Thiskindofmeditationcanbeusedforallsortsofpurposes,buttheBuddha realizedthatthemostimportantpurposeistogetthemindoutofthewhole cycleofaging,illness,anddeath.Andwhenyouthinkaboutit,theresnothing moreimportantthanthat.Thatsthebigprobleminlifeandyetsocietytendsto sloughofftheproblemsofaging,illness,anddeath,tendstopushthemofftothe sidebecauseotherthingsseemmorepressing.Makingalotofmoneyismore important.Havingfulfillingrelationshipsismoreimportant.Whatever.Andthe bigissuesinlifethefactthatyoureheadedforthesufferingsandindignities thatcomewithanaging,ill,ordyingbodygetpushedoff,pushedoutofthe way.Notyet,notyet,maybesomeothertime.Andofcoursewhenthatother timedoesarriveandthesethingscomebargingin,theywontacceptyournot yet,wontbepushedoutanymore.Ifyouhaventpreparedyourselfforthem, youllreallybeupthecreek,atatotalloss. Sothesearethemostimportantthingsyouneedtopreparefor.Alotofother thingsinlifeareuncertain,butacoupleofthingsarecertain.Agingcomes. Illnesscomes.Deathisgoingtocomeforsure.Sowhenyouknowsomethingis goingtocomeforsure,youhavetoprepareforit.Andwhenyourealizethatthis isthemostimportantissueinlife,youhavetolookatthewayyouliveyourlife.

13 MeditationthepracticeoftheBuddhasteachingsisnotjustaquestionof sittingwithyoureyesclosedeverynowandthen.Itsabouthowyouorderyour priorities.AstheBuddhasaid,whenyouseetheresagreaterlevelofhappiness thatcanbefoundbysacrificinglesserformsofhappiness,yousacrificethelesser ones.Lookatyourlifeandthethingsyouholdonto,thelittleplaceswherethe mindfindsitspleasurebutdoesntgainanyrealfulfillment:Arethosethethings youreallywanttoholdonto?Areyougoingtoletthembethefactorsgoverning yourlife? Andthenyoucanthinkoflargerissues.Thechanceforahappinessthatgoes beyondaging,illness,anddeath:Willthatbethefirstpriorityinyourlife? Thesearequestionsweallhavetoaskwithinourselves.TheBuddhadoesnt forceouranswers.Hesimplysetsoutwhatthesituationis.Hesaysthatthereis apossibilityforhappinesslyingbeyondthehappinessthatcomesfromsimply eatingandsleeping,lookingafterthebodyandhavingacomfortabletime.This possibilityisthegoodnewsintheBuddhasteachings,especiallysincemostof theworldsays,Well,thisisallthereistolife,somakethemostofit.Satisfy yourselfwiththeseimmediatepleasuresanddontthinkaboutotherthings. Dontletyourselfgetdissatisfiedwithwhatyouvegot.Whenyouthinkabout thisattitude,itsreallydepressingbecauseallitmeansisthatyougrabatwhat youcanbeforeyoudie.Andwhenyoudie,youcanttakeitwithyou. ButtheBuddhasaidtheresaformofhappiness,theresaformofknowingin themind,thatgoesbeyondaging,illness,anddeath,andthatcanbeattained throughhumaneffortifyoureskillfulenough.Sothatsbothgoodnewsanda challenge.Areyougoingtoletyourselfjustliveanordinarylifefritteringyour timeaway?Orareyougoingtoacceptthechallengetodevoteyourselftomore importantthings,devoteyourselftothispossibility? TheBuddhawasthesortofpersonwhoputhislifeontheline.Hedidnt haveanyonetellinghimthatthiswasapossibility,buthethoughtthattheonly waylifewouldhaveanydignity,anyhonorwouldbeifyoucouldfinda happinessthatdoesntage,doesntgrowill,doesntdie.Andheranupagainst allthethingshewouldhavetosacrificeinordertofindthathappiness.Sohe madethosesacrificesnotbecausehewantedtosacrificethosethings,but becausehehadto.Asaresulthewasabletofindwhathewaslookingfor.Sothe storyofhislifeandhisteachingsaremeantasachallengeforushowarewe goingtoleadourlives? Herewearesittingtogethermeditating.Whatareyougoingtodowithastill mind,onceitsbecomestill?Ifyouwantedto,youcouldsimplyuse concentrationpracticeasamethodofrelaxationorawayofcalmingthenerves. However,theBuddhasaysthattheresmoretoitthanthat.Whenthemindis reallystill,youcandigdeepdownintothemindandbegintoseeallthecurrents thatlieundergroundwithinit.Youcanstartsortingthemout,understanding whatdrivesthemind.Whereisthegreed?Whereistheanger?Wherearethe delusionsthatkeepyouspinningaround?Howcanyoucutthroughthem?

14 Thesearethequestions,thesearetheissuesthatcanbetackledinthe meditationaslongasyouhaveasenseoftheirimportance,thattheyreyour realpriorities.Ifyoudonthavethatsense,youdontwanttotouchthem becausetheyrebigissuesandtheysnarlatyouwhenyougetnear.Butifyou reallydigdown,youfindthattheyrejustpapertigers.Ioncesawameditation manualthatcontainedadrawingofatiger.Thefaceofatigerwasvery realisticallthedetailswereveryscarybutitsbodywasmadeoutoffolded paper.Andthatswhatalotofissuesareinthemind.Theycomeatyou,looking reallyintimidating,butifyoufacethemdowntheyturnintoorigami. Butinordertofacethemdownyouvegottohaveasensethatthesearethe reallyimportantissuesinlifeandyourewillingtogiveupanawfullotfortheir sake.Yourewillingtogiveupwhateveryouhavetogiveup.Thatswhatmakes thedifferencebetweenapracticethatgoessomeplace,thatreallyknocksdown thewallsinthemind,andapracticethatsimplyrearrangesthefurnitureinthe room. Sowhenyoupracticemeditation,yourealizethereisboththehowandthe why,andthewhyisreallyimportant.Oftenthewhygetspushedoffto theside.Yousimplyfollowthisorthattechnique,andthenwhatyouwanttodo withitisuptoyouwhichistrueinaway,butdoesnttakeintoaccountthe possibilities.WhenyouputthepossibilitiesintothecontextoftheBuddhas teachings,youseethevaluesthatunderliethepractice.Youseehowdeepthe practicegoes,howmuchitcanaccomplish,andwhatanenormousjobyoure takingon.Itsenormous,buttheresultsareenormousaswell. Andtheissuesareurgent.Aging,illness,anddeathcancomeatanytime, andyouhavetoaskyourself,Areyouprepared?Areyoureadytodie?Ask yourselfinallhonestyandifyourenotready,whatstheproblem?Whatareyou stilllacking?Whereareyoustillholdingon?Whydoyouwanttoholdon? Whenthemindsettlesdownandisstill,youcanstartdiggingintotheseissues. Andthemoreyoudig,themoreyouuncoverwithinthemindlayersandlayers ofthingsthatyoudidntsuspect,thathavebeengoverningyourlifesincewho knowswhen.Youdigthemout,youseethemforwhattheyare,andyourefree fromthem.Yourealizeallthestupidthingsthathavebeenrunningyourlife, pickedupfromwhoknowswhere.Youcantblameanyoneelse.Youretheone whopickedthemupandyouplayedalongwiththem. Now,whenyourealizethatnothingisaccomplishedbyplayingalongthat itsbetternottoplayalongwiththesethings,andyoudonthavetothenyou canletthemgo.Andtheyletyougo.Whatsleftistotalfreedom.TheBuddha saidthatitssototalitcantevenbedescribedbywords. Sothatsthepossibilitythemeditationpointsto,anditsuptoeachofusto decidehowfarwewanttogointhatdirection,howmuchwedoreallycarefor ourtruehappiness,forourowntruewellbeing.Youwouldthinkthateveryone wouldsay,OfcourseIcareformyhappinessandtruewellbeing.Butifyou lookatthewaypeoplelivetheirlives,youcanseethattheyreallydontputthat

15 muchenergyorthoughtintothequestfortruehappiness.Peopleusuallysee otherpeopledothingsinthisorthatway,sotheyfollowalongwithoutlooking forthemselves,asiftruehappinessweresounimportantthatyoucouldleaveit uptootherpeopletomakeyourchoicesforyou.Meditation,though,isachance tolookforyourselfatwhatsreallyimportantinlifeandthendosomething aboutit.

16

WatchWhatYoureDoing
August19,2003 Daysandnightsflypast,flypast:WhatamIdoingrightnow? TheBuddhahasyouaskthatquestioneveryday,bothtokeepyourselffrom beingcomplacentandtoremindyourselfthatthepracticeisoneofdoing.Even thoughweresittinghereverystill,theresstilladoinggoingoninthemind. Therestheintentiontofocusonthebreath,theintentiontomaintainthatfocus, andtheintentiontokeepwatchoverhowthebreathandthemindarebehaving. Meditationasawholeisadoing.Evenwhenyoupracticenonreactivityor beingtheknowing,theresastillanelementofintention.Thatswhatthe doingis. ThatwasoneoftheBuddhasmostimportantinsights:thatevenwhenyoure sittingperfectlystillwiththeintentionnottodoanything,theresstillthe intention,andtheintentionitselfisadoing.Itsasankhara,afabrication.Itswhat welivewithallthetime.Infact,allofourexperienceisbasedonfabrication.The factthatyousenseyourbody,feelings,perceptions,thoughtconstructs, consciousnessalloftheseaggregates:Tobeabletoexperiencetheminthe presentmomentyouhavetofabricateapotentialintoanactualaggregate.You fabricatethepotentialforformintoanactualexperienceofform,thepotentialfor feelingintoanactualexperienceoffeeling,andsoon.Thiselementoffabrication liesinthebackgroundallthetime.ItslikethebackgroundnoiseoftheBigBang, whichhumsthroughoutthewholeuniverseanddoesntgoaway.Theelementof fabricationisalwaysthere,shapingourexperience,anditssoconsistently presentthatwelosesightofit.Wedontrealizewhatweredoing. Whatyouretryingtodoasyoumeditateistostripthingsdownsoyoucan seetheveryelementalfabricationsgoingoninthemind,thekammayoure creatingwitheverymoment.Werenotmakingthemindstillsimplytohavea nicerestfulplacetobe,aniceexperienceofeasetosootheourstressedout nerves.Thatmaybepartofit,butitsnotthewholepractice.Theotherpartisto seeclearlywhatsgoingon,toseethepotentialofhumanaction:Whatarewe doingallthetime?Whatarethepotentialscontainedinthisdoing?Thenwe applythatunderstandingofhumanactiontoseehowfarwecangoinstripping awaytheunnecessarystressandsufferingthatcomefromactinginunskillful ways. Itsimportantthatwealwayskeepthisinmindaswemeditate.Remember: Wereheretounderstandhumanaction,inparticularourownhumanactions. Otherwisewesitherehopingthatwedonthavetodoanything,thatwecanjust waitforsomeImaxexperiencestocomewhapusupsidethehead,orsomenice glowingsenseofonenesstocomewellingupinside.Andsometimesthingslike thatcancomeunexpectedly,butiftheycomewithoutyourunderstandinghow

17 orwhytheycame,theyrenotallthathelpful.Theyrerestfulforawhile,or amazingforawhile,butthentheygoawayandyouhavetodealwithyour desiretogetthemback.And,ofcourse,noamountofdesireisgoingtogetthem backifitsnotaccompaniedbyunderstanding. Youcanttotallydrophumanactionuntilyouunderstandthenatureof action.Thisisreallyimportant.Weliketothinkthatwecansimplystopdoing, stopdoing,stopdoing,andthingswillsettledown,getcalm,andopenupto emptiness.Butthatsmorelikezoningoutthanmeditating.Thereisanelement ofstoppinginthemeditation,anelementoflettinggo,butyoucantreally masterituntilyouunderstandwhatyouretryingtostop,whatyourelettinggo. Sotrytowatchoutforthat.Whenyoucomeoutofagoodmeditation,dont simplygetupandgobacktothekitchen,haveacocoa,andgobacktosleep. Reflectonwhatyoudidsoastounderstandthepatternofcauseandeffect,tosee exactlywhatyoufabricatedintheprocessofbringingtheminddowntoastate ofcalm.Afterall,thepathisafabricatedpath.Itstheultimatefabrication.Asthe Buddhasaid,ofallthefabricatedphenomenathereareintheworld,thehighest isthenobleeightfoldpath.Thisisthepathweretryingtofollowrightnow.Its somethingputtogether,andyouwontunderstandituntilyouseetheputting togetherasyouredoingit. Soalwayshavethatinthebackofyourmind:thatyouaredoingsomething here.Sometimesitseemsfrustratingthatthewholehourmaybespentjust pullingback,pullingback,pullingthemindbacktothebreath.Itwandersoff,so youpullitbackagain,andthenitwanderswhenisthepeaceandcalmgoingto come?Well,beforeitcancomeyouhavetodevelopsomeunderstanding.So whenyoupullitback,trytounderstandwhatyouredoing.Whenitwanders off,trytounderstandwhatshappening,whatyoudidtoencourageorallowitto wanderoff.Inparticular,trytouncoveralltheskillfulandunskillfulintentions thatgointothisbackandforthprocess.Whenyouunderstandhowthemind goesbackandforth,youllreachthepointwhereyoucankeepitfromgoing backandforth.Atthesametime,youlldevelopthekindofinsightwewantin themeditation:insightintoactions. TheBuddhasaiddiscernmentinvolvescomprehendingtheprocessof fabrication,theprocessofactionthatsgoingoninthemindallthetime.Andall thebasicbuildingblocksofactionarerighthere.Theresthephysicalfabrication thatleadstoactioninotherwords,thebreath.Withoutthebreathyoucouldnt doanyotherphysicalactionsatall.Thentheresverbalfabrication:directed thoughtandevaluation.Withoutthoseyouwouldntbeabletospeak.Andthen theresmentalfabrication:perceptionsandfeelings.Withoutthose,theprocessof mentalfabricationwouldnthaveanybuildingblockstobuildwith.Theseareall themostbasicformsofactivity:physical,verbal,andmental.Sowebringthem alltogetherrightherewhenwevegotthemindwiththebreath.Werefocused onthebreath,directingourthoughtstothebreath,evaluatingthebreath,aware

18 ofallthementallabelsthatlabelthebreath,andallthefeelingsthatcomewith thebreath,pleasantorunpleasant.Allthebasicbuildingblocksarerighthere. Thesebuildingblocksarenotthings,theyreactivities.Youmightcallthem basicactivityunits.Thesearethethingsyouhavetobringtogetherinorderto getthemindtosettledown.Otherwiseitgoesoffandelaboratesallkindsof otherworldstoinhabit,pullingitsattentionawayfromthebasicactivityunits andhopingtoliveintheirendproducts.Soyoukeepremindingyourselfto comebacktothislevel,thislevel,thislevelwherethingsarebasic,andyoutryto manipulatethesethingsskillfullysoastostillthemind.Itsanintentional stilling,sotheresanelementofdoingeveninthebeingstill,butitsadoingfor thepurposeofknowing.Mostofourdoingisforthepurposeofignorance.It comesoutofignoranceandheadstowardignorance,coveringupourintentions sothatwecanforgettheeffortthatgoesintothedoingandsimplyenjoytheend productexperiencesthatourdoingcreates. SomepeoplethinkthatBuddhismisareligionofexperiences.Wewantto haveareligiousexperiencewhenwecomehere,wewanttohaveanexperience ofreleaseoranexperienceofpeace.Actually,though,theDhammaismeantto takeusbeyondourincessanthabitofproducingandconsumingexperiences. Andtodothat,wehavetounderstandthenatureofactionthatunderliesthe producingandconsuming,toseeexactlywhatitistobeahumanbeingwho acts.Whatdoesitmeantoact?Howdoesthemindact?Whatisanintention? Whydoesthemindhaveintentions?Aretheseprocessesreallypleasantorare theyburdensome?Whatwoulditbelikeifwedidnthavetodothem?Weneed tolookintothesethings,weneedtounderstandtheseprocessesbeforewecan gettowherewereallywanttogo.Ifyoudontunderstandhumanaction,you wontbeabletoexplorethefulllimitsofhumanaction.Youwontbeableto understandhowfarhumanactioncantakeyou.Sowereheretostudy,were heretolearnfromouractions. ThisteachingonactionissomethingparticulartotheBuddhasteachings thissenseofwhatanactionisandhowfaranactioncango.Itseasytosaythat allthegreatreligionsfocusonhavingexperiencesbeyondwhatwordscan describe.Soundsnice.Veryfriendly.Veryecumenical.Butwhenyoucompare whatthevariousreligionssayaboutactionwhatitmeanstoact,whatthe potentialsofhumanactionareyouseethattheydiffergreatly.Someteachings saythatwedontreallyactatall,thattheresanoutsideforceactingthroughus, thateverythingspredetermined.Otherssaythatwedoact,butouractionshave norealconsequences.Orthattherearelotsoflimitationsonwhatwecandoto producetruehappiness,soweneedsomeoutsidepowertohelpus.Youcant lumpthesevariousteachingsonactiontogetherandpretendthatthedifferences dontcount.Thefactis:Theydontjibe.Theyrediametricallyopposed.Theyget inoneanothersway. ThiswaswhytheearlyBuddhistskeptinsistingthattheteachingonaction waswhatsetBuddhismapart,thatitwasthemostimportantissuewherepeople

19 havetomakeachoiceandtakeastand.AndthiswaswhytheBuddhaslast wordswerethatweneedtobeheedful.Hedidntendhisteachingcareerwith someniceplatitudesonemptinessornibbana.Hesaidtobeheedfultoseeour actionsasimportantandtokeepthatimportanceinmindatalltimes. Sothisiswhereyouhavetomakeachoice:Whichtheoryofactionareyou planningtoplaceyourhopeson?Thatswhatyoureaskedtocommittowhen youtakerefugeintheTripleGem:theteachingonaction,theteachingon kamma.Takingrefugeisnotawarm,fuzzy,cowardlycopout.Itstheactof takingonfullresponsibilityforyourchoicesandintentions.Howfarareyou planningtogowithyouractions?Howfarareyouwillingtopushtheenvelope? Thesearequestionsthatweallhavetoanswerforourselves,andnoonecan forcetheansweronus.Butjustremember:TheBuddhasaidthatitspossiblefor humanactiontogototheendofactioninotherwords,togotoadimensionin themindwhereultimatelythereisnomoreintention.Hesaysthatthatsthe highesthappiness.Now,wecantakethatstatementmerelyasanhistorical curiosityorwecantakethatasapersonalchallenge.Itsuptous. Attheveryleast,whenyouresittingheremeditatingandthingsdontseem tobegoingright,dontblameitontheweather.Dontblameitonthetimeof day.Justlookatwhatyouredoing.Lookattherawmaterialyouhavetowork withandyourskillinfashioningthatrawmaterialintoastateofcalm.Fromthe Buddhistpointofview,thatrawmaterialcomesfrompastactions.Youcant changethefactthatthisistherawmaterialyouhaveathand,butyoucanfashion thatrawmaterialindifferentways.Thatfreedomofchoiceisalwayspresent.So ifthingsarentgoingwellinyourmeditation,lookatyourintentionstoseewhat youmightchange.Lookatyourperceptions,atthequestionsyoureposingin themind.Experiment.Improvise.Seewhatmakesadifference. Whenthingsaregoingwell,trytomaintainthemwell.Seehowyoucan developthatsenseofwellnessevenfurther.ThisisRightEffort.Thisiswherewe encountertheelementofintention,theelementofactiondirectlyinourown minds.Ifyousitherecomplainingabouthowthingsarentgoingwellinyour meditation,thatsyourchoice:Youchosetocomplain.Isthatthemostskillful thingtodo?Ifitsnot,trysomethingelse.Youvealwaysgotthatfreedom. Whenthingsaregoingwell,youcanalwayschoosetogetcomplacent.Ifyou getcomplacent,wheredoesthattakeyou?Youcanchoosetomanipulatethings toomuch,toolittle,orjustright.Thechoicesarehere.Itsimportantthatwekeep thatinmind.Otherwisewefindourselvestrappedinaparticularsituationand cantthinkourwayout,becausewedontrealizetherangeofavailable possibilities. Trytokeepyoursenseofthosepossibilitiesasaliveaspossible,sothatthe doingofthemeditationbecomesaskillfuldoingandnotjustathrashingaround. Youobserve,youwatch,youlookintothisquestion:Whatdoesitmeantohave anintention?HowcanIseetheresultsofmyintentions?Wheredotheyshow

20 theirresults?Theyshowtheirresultsbothinyourstateofmindandinyour breathing,solookrighthere,makeyouradjustmentsrighthere. Andevenifyourenotconsciouslythinkingaboutthenatureofhuman action,yourelearningalotaboutyourownactionsasyouworkwiththebreath, tryingtokeepthemindwiththebreath,tryingtomakethebreathagoodplace forthemindtostay.Youremuddlingaroundhereinthebasicelementsof humanaction,likeayoungkidfoolingaroundwithaguitar:Afterawhile,ifthe kidisobservant,thefoolingaroundturnsintomusic.Themoreobservantyou areinthewayyourelatetothebreath,themoreyourmuddlewillturnintoa processofdiscovery.

21

TheInteractivePresent
August,2002 Whenyoutrytosettleintothepresentmoment,sometimesyoufindsticks, rocks,andthorns.Theycanbeeitherinthebodyorinthemind,andyouhaveto doyourbesttodealwiththem.Itwouldbeniceifyoucouldsimplyfollowsome easy,stepbystepinstructions:1,2,3,4,firstyoudothisandthenyoudothat,and thentheresultscomewithoutyourhavingtofigureanythingoutonyourown. Andsometimesthereareinstructionslikethatinmeditationbooksbutoftenthe minddoesntfallinlinewiththem.Ideallyyoushouldbeabletoletthemind settledownandgrowcalmandthendealwithdifficultissues,butsometimes beforeyoucansettledownyouvegottodealwithsomedifficultiesfirst. Itsnotonlythecasethatdiscernmentrequiresconcentration.Concentration alsorequiresdiscernmentlearninghowtobypasswhateverissuesyoucan bypassandhowtodealdirectlywiththeonesyouhavetodealwithbeforeyou cangetthemindtosettledown. Iftheresrampantlustorangerinthemind,youvegottodealwithit.You cantpretenditsnotthere.Youcantshoveitoffintothecorner,foritllkeep jumpingoutofthecornerbackatyou.Soyouremindyourselfofthedrawbacks ofthatkindofthinking;youlooktoseewheretheresalackofreasoningora lackoflogicinthatkindofthinking.Manytimesthatthinkingsimplycomesat youwithalotofforce,justasabelligerentpersoncomesatyouwithalotof forcetomakeupforhislackofreason. Soyoulookatyourlust,lookatyouranger,lookatyourfears,andtrytosee, Whataretheyactuallysaying?Sometimesyouhavetolistentothem.Ifyou listenreallycarefullyyoullseethatafterawhiletheydontmakeanysense. Whenyoucanseethat,itsaloteasiertoputthemaside.Whentheycomeback atyou,say,Yourenotmakinganysenseatall.Thenyouvegotahandleon them. Thesamewithphysicalpain.Sometimeswhenyousitdowntomeditate therespaininthebodyandithasnothingtodowiththemeditationposture.Its simplytherenomatterwhatyourposture.Soyouhavetolearnhowtodealwith it.Focusonotherpartsofthebodysoyougetatleastsomesenseofhavinga beachheadinthepresentmoment,aplacewhereyoucanstayandyoureokay. Thenyouworkfromthatpositionofstrength.Onceyougetasenseofthebreath goingsmoothlyandcomfortably,youletitexpandfromthatspotintoother partsofthebody,movingthroughthepartwheretherespainandoutthefeet andoutthehands. Youbegintorealizethatthosethornsinthepresentarenotjustagiven.There hastobeapartofyouthatsplayingalongwiththem,thatsmakingthema problem.Onceyouseethat,thethornsarealoteasiertodealwith.

22 Sometimestheresapaininthebodyandthewayyourebreathingisactually maintainingit.Sometimestheproblemisyourfearthatitsgoingtospread, whichmakesyoubuildalittleshelloftensionarounditandwhilethatshellof tensionmaykeepthepainfromspreading,italsokeepsitinexistence.The breathenergydoesntflowsmoothlythere,andthathelpsmaintainthepain. Whenyoucatchyourselfdoingthis,yougetaninterestinginsight:Thepresent momentisnotjustsomethinggiven.Youreparticipatinginit.Anelementof yourintentionisshapingit. Thenyoucanturnaroundandusethissameprinciplewiththemind.When thereslustoranger,partofitmaybecomingfrompasthabit,butanotherpart fromyourpresentparticipation.Itseasytounderstandthisinthecaseoflust. Youreenjoyingitandsoyouwanttocontinueit.Actually,partofthemindis enjoyingitwhileanotherpartissuffering.Whatyouwanttodoisbringthe sufferingpartout,giveitvoice,giveitsomespacetoexpressitself. Thisisespeciallyneededinourculture.Peoplewhodontsubmittotheirlust aresaidtoberepressedandhaveallkindswarpedbeastsinthebasement.Sothe partofthemindthatthriveswhenitsfreedfromlustdoesntgetachance.Itgets pushedintothecornerofthebasement.Itbecomestherepressedpart.Butifyou canferretoutthepartofthemindthatsreallyenjoyingthelustandsay:Hey, waitaminute,whatkindofenjoymentisthis?Howaboutthatstressoverthere? Howaboutthatdiscomfortoverthere?Thesenseofdissatisfactionthatcomes alongwiththelust,thecloudinessthatcomesintothemindbecauseofthelust howaboutthat?Youcanstarttohighlightthepartofthemindthatreally doesntenjoythelust.Thenyouhaveabetterchanceofdealingwiththelustand workingyourwayoutfromunderitsthumb. Thesamewithanger:Trytofindthepartofthemindthatsenjoyingthe anger.Seewhatkindofhappinessitgetsfromindulgingintheanger.Seehow piddlingandmiserablethathappinessis.Thatwayyoustrengthenthepartof themindthatreallydoesntwanttoplayalong. Thesamegoeswithotheremotions,suchasfearorgreed:Onceyoucatchthe partofthemindthatsenjoyingitparticipating,keepingitgoingrightnow learntoundercutit.Learnhowtoemphasizethepartthatdoesntwanttoplay along. Thenyoucanstartapplyingthesameprincipletopositivemindstates,the onesthatyouretryingtodevelop.Ifyoureconsciousofthepartofthemind thatdoesntwanttostaywiththebreath,trytofindthepartofthemindthat does,thatreallyappreciateshavingachancetosettledownandletgoofits burdens.Thepotentialisthere,simplythatitsnotemphasized. Solearntogiveyourselfpeptalks.Peoplewhogeteasilydiscouragedarethe oneswhohaventlearnedthattalent.Youhavetolearnhowtogiveyourself encouragement:See?Youdidthat.Youbroughtthemindback.Seeifyoucan doitagainthenexttime.Seeifyoucandoitfaster.Thatsthekindof encouragementyouneed,thekindthatkeepsyouparticipatingingettingstates

23 ofconcentrationgoing.Afterall,ifthepresentisntjustagiven,whydontyou learnhowtoshapeagoodpresent?Emphasizethepositivethings,sotheyreally dogetstronger.Thatwayyoufindthatyourelessandlessavictimofevents. Youcometoplayastronger,morepositiveroleinshapingyourexperienceofthe present. Wetalkmanytimesabouthowultimatelyyouwanttodiscontinuethat participationinthepresentsothatyoucanopenuptotheDeathless.Butbefore youdothat,youvegottogetskillfulinhowyouparticipateinthepresent moment.Youcantskipstraightfromunskillfulparticipationtotheultimateskill oflearninghowtoopenuptotheDeathless.Youvegottogothroughallofthe stagesoflearninghowtomakethepresentamorepositiveexperiencethrough thewayyoubreathe,thewayyoufocusonthebreath,thewayyoudealwiththe variousstates,positiveornegative,thatcomeupinthemind.Youvegottolearn howtobeabettermanagerofthepresentmomentbeforeyoucandevelopthe evenmorerefinedskillsoflearninghowtotakeallofthisparticipationapart. Sowhenyousitdowntomeditate,youvegottorealizethatnoteverythingis agiven.Youreparticipatingrightnow.Whatkindofparticipationdoyouwant todevelop?Whatkindofparticipationdoyouwanttodiscontinue,todrop? Thesepainsthestonesandthornsandalltheotherthingsthatmakeithard tosettledown:Theyrenotjustagiven.Yourelementofparticipationhelps createthestones,helpssharpenthethorns.Ifyoucancatchyourselfdoingthat andcanunlearnthehabit,youfinditaloteasiertosettledownandstaysettled. Youcanseemoreclearlywhatsgoingon,andyourskillindealingwiththe presentgetsmoreandmorerefined.

24

Imagine
April20,2003 Psychologistshavedonestudiesofpeoplewhovemasteredskills,tryingto figureoutwhysomepeoplearesimplyverygoodataparticularskillwhileother peoplereallymasterit.Oneoftheirdiscoveriesisthatforpeopletoreallymaster askill,ithastocapturetheirimagination.Theyliketothinkaboutit.Theyliketo trydifferentwaysofconceptualizingtheskill,approachingtheskill,applyingthe skillinunusualandunexpectedways.Andalthoughweoftendontthinkof imaginationasbeinginvolvedinmeditationinfact,wethinkthatmeditationis antiimaginationactuallythatsnotthecase.Tomasterconcentration,ithasto captureyourimagination,justaswithanyotherskill. Whenyoupracticeconcentration,whatareyoudoing?Yourecreatingastate inthemind.Thatrequiresimagination.Thenobleeightfoldpathasawholeis somethingfabricated,somethingputtogether.Itbringsyouintothepresent,but whenyougetintothepresentyoudiscoverhowmuchinputyourintentions haveineachpresentmoment.Thepracticeofthepathisdesignedtomakeyou moreandmoresensitivetothatfact:toseehowyouputthingstogether,how youcanputthingstogetherinawaythatcreatessuffering,orhowyoucanget moreskillfulatputtingthingstogetherinawaythatcreateslessandless sufferinguntilfinallyyoureachapointwherethewholethinggetstakenapart andtheresnosufferingleft. Buttogettothatlastpointyouhavetounderstandwhatyouredoing.You cantsimplymakeupyourmindthatyouregoingtobetotallyuninvolvedinthe presentmomentandsimplybeanobserverwithoutparticipating,becausewhat happensisthatyourparticipationgoesunderground.Youdontseeit,butits stillthere.So,instead,youhavetobeveryopenaboutthefactthatyoure shapingthepresentmomentsimplybychoosingwhatyoufocuson.Thatsa decisionrightthere:Thesensationsyouchoosetofocuson,andthewayyou focusonthem,aregoingtoshapeyourexperienceofthepresentmoment.Youre creatingastateofbecomingthePaliwordhereisbhavaandalthoughoneof thethingsweretryingtolearntoovercomeistheprocessofbecoming,wecant simplydroptheprocess.Wehavetounderstanditbeforewecanletitgo.We havetounderstandittothepointofdispassionandthenletgo.Todothatwe havetokeepcreatingmoreandmoreandmoreofthesestates,butwehaveto createatypeofstatethatscomfortabletostaywith,easytoanalyze,easytotake apartwhichiswhywepracticeconcentration. AseniormonkinBangkokonceaskedAjaanLee,Whenyourepracticing concentration,arentyoucreatingstatesofbecominginthemind?AndAjaan Leeresponded,Yes,thatspreciselywhatyouredoing.Hewentontosaythat youcanttaketheprocessapartuntilyoucandoitreallywell.Hesaid,Itslike

25 havingahenthatlayseggs.Youusesomeoftheeggstoeat,whiletheothersyou crackopenandtakeapart.Inotherwords,partoftheroleofconcentrationisto keepthemindnourishedonthepath.Theotherpartistogiveyousomethingto takeapart,whileatthesametimeputtingthemindinapositionwhereitcan takethesepresentstatesapart. Sowhenyoureconsciousofthatfact,lookatthewayyouputthepresent momenttogether.Youhavechoicesyouknow:differentthingsyoucanfocuson, differentwaysyoucanfocusonthem.Ifyoufocusonthebreath,youdiscover thattherearemanydifferentwaysofconceivingandmonitoringthebreath:your wayoflabelingthebreathsensations,thewayyoudecidewhenaninbreathis longenough,whenitstoolong,whenitstooshort.Alotofthesedecisionsget putonautomaticpilot,butasyouremeditatingyouhaveachancetoexamine them.Youcanlookatthemcarefullyandadjustthemtoseeiftherearemore skillfulwaysofdecidinghowlongagoodlonginbreathis,whatsignsindicate thatthebreathisjustlongenough.Thesameholdstruewiththeoutbreaths,the depth,therhythm,thetextureofthebreath. Theresalottoplaywithhere,andthewordplayisimportantbecause youvegottoenjoytheprocess.Otherwisetheresnoenthusiasmforthe meditation;yousimplygothroughthemotionsbecauseitstimetomeditate. Andwhentheresnoenthusiasm,nojoyintheprocess,youhaveahardtime stickingwithit.Themindisgoingtoloseinterest,getboredandtrytofind somethingelsetothinkabout,somethingelsetofillupthehour.Andwhatyou endupdoingisfillingupthehourwithfillerstraw,shreddedpaper,and Styrofoampeanutsthingsthatarenotnearlyashelpfulaslearningaboutthe breath.Thereasonwerehereisnotjusttoputintime.Wereheretoseehowthe mindiscreatingunnecessarysufferingforitselfandtolearnhowtostopdoing it. Onehelpfulwayofunderstandingtheprocessistolookattheways psychologistshaveanalyzedimagination.Theyvediscoveredthatitinvolves fourskills.Thefirstisbeingabletogenerateanimageinthemindsimply givingrisetoanimageofonekindoranother.Thesecondistomaintainthe image.Thethirdistoinspectit,lookatitsdetails,exploresomeofits ramifications.Andthenthefourthabilityistoaltertheimage,makingchanges andtheninspectingitagaintoseewhathappensasyoualterit.Andalthough thepsychologistswhodiscoveredthesefourskillswereconcernedprimarily withmentalpicturesinthemind,youlldiscoverthatanykindofcreative workwriting,creatingatune,whateverinvolvesthesesamefoursteps. Whenyoucomparethefourstepstoconcentration,youfindthattheyapply hereaswell.Infact,theycorrespondtothefourbasesofsuccess:desire, persistence,intentness,andingenuity. Intermsofconcentration,thefirststepcorrespondstogivingrisetoanice pleasantstaterighthereinthepresentmoment.Canyoudothat?Ifyouwantto, youcan.AstheBuddhasaid,allphenomenaarerootedindesire.Sohowareyou

26 goingtousedesiretogiverisetothatpleasantstate?Youcanadjustthebreath. Youcanadjustyourfocus.Breatheinsuchawaythatgivesrisetoapleasant feelinginatleastonepartofthebody. Thenthenextstep,onceyouvelearnedhowtogeneratethatstate,isto maintainit,keepitgoing.Andyoulldiscoverthatyouneedmindfulness, alertness,steadinesstodothat.Sometimesyoufinditslikesurfing:Thewave changesbeneathyou,butyoulearntokeepyourbalance.Inotherwords,the needsofthebodywillchange,butyoucankeepthatpleasantsensationgoingin spiteofthosechanges.Whenyoufirstsitdown,thebodymayneedafairly heavyrateofbreathinginordertofeelcomfortable,butthenasitfeelsmore comfortable,thebodysneedswillchange.Andsoyouhavetolearnhowtoride thatchangeinthewave.Adjusttherateofbreathingsothatitsjustrightforthe bodyrightnow,rightnow,rightnow.Thismakesyoumoreandmoresensitive tothefactthatthebodysneedschange,butyoucanlearnhowtomaintaina particularbalanceasyougetmoreandmoresensitiveinrespondingtothose needs,ingivingthebodythekindofbreathingitwants.Ofcourse,thebodys notgoingtosittheresaying,Iwantthis.Iwantthat,butyougetmoreand moresensitivetothesigns,thesensationsthattellyouthatcertainpartsofthe bodyarestarvedofbreathenergy,andyoucanconsciouslybreatheintothem. Thethirdstepisinspection.Youlookatthestateyouhaveinthebody:Are thereplaceswhereitsstilluncomfortable,placeswhereitstillfeelstense,where itfeelstight?Well,youcanthinkofwaystochangethebreath.Thatsthefourth step.Thethirdandfourthstepsplayoffeachotherinthisway:Onceyouchange things,youinspectthemagaintoseeifthechangehasmadeanyimprovement orifitsmadethingsworse.Ifitsmadethingsworse,youcantryanother change.Keepinspecting,keepadjusting.InPalithisiscalledvicara,or evaluation.Andasthingsgetmoreandmorecomfortable,youfindthatthe rangeofcomfortyouvebeenabletocreateforyourselfbeginstoexpand.You canbreatheinwithasensethatthebreathenergyinthebodyisconnectedinall itsparts.Youbreatheoutandtheenergyfeelsconnected;yourawarenesskeeps fillingthebody,saturatingthebody. Afterawhileyougettoapointwhereyoureallycantimprovethebreath anyfurther.Itsjustrightasitis.AsAjaanFuangoncesaid,itslikepouring waterintoawaterjar.Youfinallyreachthepointwhereyouvefilledthejarand nomatterhowmuchwateryoutrytoaddafterthat,youcantgetitanyfuller thanthat.Soyoustopaddingwater.Thesamewiththebreath:Whenyoureach thepointoffullness,youstopmakingsomanyadjustments,somanychanges. Youcanjustbewiththebreathing.Fromthispointonitsmoreaquestionof howthemindrelatestothebreath,whetheritfeelsthatitsseparatefromthe breathandwatchingit,orwhetheritsmoreimmersedinthebreathing.Asit getsmoreimmersed,therateofbreathingisgoingtochange,notsomuch becauseyoumadeupyourmindtochangeit,butsimplybecauseyouve changedyourrelationshiptothebreath.

27 Asyougetmorefullyimmersedinthebodyandbreath,youdevelopa sturdyfeelingofunificationandease.Thebreathingwillgrowmoresubtletothe pointwhereitfinallystops,notbecauseyouveforcedittostopbutbecausethe mindhassloweddownenoughtothepointwhereitneedslessandlessandless oxygen.Theoxygenexchangeattheskinisenoughtokeepthebodygoingso thatitdoesnthavetokeeppumpingin,pumpingout.AjaanLeecomparesthis statetoanicecubewithvaporcomingoffofit:Thebodyfeelsverystill,but aroundtheedgestheresakindofeffortlessvaporthatyoufeelwiththeinand outbreathing.Thenafterawhileeventhatstopsandeverythingisperfectlystill. Allofthiscomesfromcreatingthatspotinthebodywhereitfeelsgoodto stayfocused.Thenlearninghowtomaintainit.Theninspectingittoseewhere youcanexpandit,whereyoucanmakeitmorestable.Andthenadjustingitin variousways:usingyourimaginationtothinkatleastofthepossibilitythatthe breathcouldbemorecomfortable,thebreathcouldsaturatethebody.Youcould thinkofallthecellsofthebodybeingbathedinthebreathwhateverwayyou haveofconceivingthebreaththatmakesitmoreandmorecomfortable,abetter andbetterplacetostay. Inthiswaythefouraspectsofimaginationapplytowhatyouredoingright here,eventhoughyourenottryingtocreateamentalpicture.Sometimesthere willbementalpicturesbehindit,butyouremoreconcernedwiththeactual sensationofthebreathasyoufeelitcomingin,asyoufeelitgoingout,asyou playwithit,asyoucreateasenseofveryintensewellbeingrighthere.Even thoughitssomethingcreated,somethingfabricated,itsagoodthingtocreate,a goodthingtofabricate.AstheBuddhasaid,rightconcentrationistheheartof thepath.Theotherfactorsareitsrequisites.Andfordiscernmenttodoitswork ofinsightinthepresentmoment,theheartofthepathhastostayhealthyand strong.Youhavetocreateandmaintainagoodsolidbasisthrough concentration. Sobecauseitsacreatedstate,youhavetobecreativeaboutit,imaginative aboutit.Andyoufindthatthemoreyourimaginationopensuptothe possibilitiesalreadypresent,themorenewpossibilitiesyourimaginationopens up.Aslongasyourefrankabouttheprocess,thatyourecreatingthisstate,you donthavetoworryaboutgettingattachedtoiteventhoughyouprobablywill getattachedtoitbecausedeepdowninsideyouknowitssomethingyouve created,andeventuallyyoullhavetotakeitapart.Butinthemeantime,learn howtodoitwell.Themoresolidtheconcentration,themoreyouwanttostay here.Themoreyoustayhere,themorefamiliaryougetwiththeterritory.And itsthroughthatfamiliaritythatthepracticeofconcentrationturnsintothe practiceofinsight,thekindofinsightthatcanliberateyou.Withoutthisstability andfamiliarity,yourinsightsaresimplyideasyouveheardfromDhammatalks, readinbooks,notionsyouvepickedupfromoutside.Theydontseepdeepinto themindbecausethemindhasntsofteneduptheterritoryhereinthepresent moment.Onlythroughthepracticeofconcentrationcanthehardnessinthe

28 presentmomentbegintosoftenupandgivetheinsightsachancetoseepdeeper anddeeper. Sowhenyouhavethiskindofunderstandingaboutwhatyouredoing,you finditaloteasiertogoaboutit.Andyoubegintorealizeitsnotamechanical process.Itsacreativeprocess.Thatwayitcancaptureyourimagination.When itcapturesyourimagination,yougetmoreinterestedinwhatyoucandowith thebreath,notjustwhenyouresittingherewithyoureyesclosed,butanytime oftheday.Howyoudealwiththebreath,howyougetcenteredinthebreathcan helpyoudealwithanger.Itmakesyoumoresensitivetowhatangerdoestothe body,andyoucanbreathethroughthephysicalmanifestationsoftheangerso thatyoudontfeelliketheyvetakenover. Whentheresfear,youcantryusingthebreathtodealwithfear.Getintouch withthephysicalsideofthefearandbreatherightthroughit.Noticehowthe breathcanhelpdealwithboredom,howitcanhelpdealwithillness,howitcan helpdealwithpain.Theresalottoexplorehere.Andasthepossibilitiesofthe breathcaptureyourimagination,youfindthatthisskillisuseful,notonlywhen youretryingtositwithyoureyesclosed,butalsowhereverthepresentmaybe, whereveryoumaybeinthepresent.Whateverthecontext,whateverthe situation,youfindthatthebreathhassomethingtoofferifyouexploreit.And toexploreit,youhavetogetasensethatitcancaptureyourimagination.Itgives youthatkindofchallenge,alongwiththesenseofrewardthatcomeswhen youveexploredsomethinganddiscoveredsomethingnew,avaluableskill. Thisishowmeditationcanstartpermeatingyourwholelife.Whenit permeatesyourwholelife,whenyouremoreandmorefamiliarwithit,thats whentheinsightsarise:unexpectedinsightssometimes,insightsthatyouwont alwaysfindinthebooks,butverypersonal,verymuchrelevanttohowyou relatetoeventsinthebodyandmind.Andyourealizethattheyvecometoyou becauseyouveopenedupyourimaginationtowhatspossiblewiththeraw materialsofthepresent.

29

IntheMood
November23,2002 AjaanSuwatoftenrecommendedputtingyourselfinagoodmoodeachtime beforeyoumeditate.Thismaysoundalittlebackwardsformanyofusbecause wemeditateinordertoputourselvesinagoodmood,andyethesaystostart outwithagoodmood.Butwhenyoustoptothinkaboutit,theresreallynoway youcangetgoodresultsoutofthemeditationunlessthemindhasatleastsome goodqualitiesinit,somecheerfulness,somepatience,somewisdom.Theseare qualitiesthatactasseeds,thatallowthemeditationtodevelop.Werenottotally emptyhandedwhenwecometothemeditation.Wedohavegoodqualitiesin themind,andthereareplentyofthingswecanthinkabouttoputthemindina goodmood. Thisiswhywehavethechantongoodwilltostartoutthemeditationeach andeverytime.Goodwillisagoodthingtothinkabout.Youlookatyourself spreadingthoughtsofgoodwillandyoufeelgoodaboutyourself.Yourenot totallyselfish,nottotallyangry,vindictive,whatever.Theresatleastsome goodnessinsideyou.Youtakethatasyourstartingcapital.Aswithany investment,youneedtohavesomethingtobeginwith.Ifyoudonthavemoney, atleastyouvegotstrength,oryouvegotyourintelligence.Youtakewhatever goodthingsyouvegotandyouinvestthem.Thatshowtheygrow. Sowhenwesitheretomeditatewedoourbesttomakethemindpatient,to liftitaboveitsordinarycaresandconcernsoftheday,andthenbringittothe meditationobject.Thatwayyoucanrelatetothebreath,orwhateveryourobject, inafriendlyway. Beinginagoodmoodputsthebreathingoodshapeaswell.Ifyoufeel frustratedaboutyourbreathingorfrustratedaboutyourmeditation,thatsgoing todofunnythingstoyourbreath,makeitharderandhardertostaywiththe breath.Sothinkinwhateverwayhelpsthemindgetreadytomeditate,inthe moodtomeditate.Thisispartofthefirstbasisofsuccess:chanda,thedesireto meditate.Youwanttomeditate.Youfeelaninclination,anattractiontothe meditation. Ifyousitdownandyoufeelyourselftotallydisinclinedtomeditate,dont justforceyourselftodoit.Remindyourselfofthegoodreasonsforwhyyoure doingit.Thinkofwaystomakeitinteresting,waystomakeitentertaining.You candoallkindsofthingswiththebreath.LookatAjaanLeesDhammatalks: Whenhedefinesthedifferentlevelsofbreathinginthebody,hehardlyever repeatshimself.Theresalwayssomethingnew,somethingdifferentthathes foundfromhismeditation.Wedonthavetomemorizeallhiswaysofanalyzing thebreath.Weshouldgivethematry,ofcourse,butweshouldalsolookatour waysofanalyzingthebreathenergyandseewhatworksforus.Whenyoufeel

30 depressed,whatkindofbreathingfeelsupliftingandenergizing?Whenyoufeel manic,whatkindofbreathingfeelsgrounding?Whenyoufeellazy,whatkindof breathingenergizesyou?Whenyoufeeltense,whatkindofbreathingrelaxes you?Theresalottoexplore,andintheexplorationyougetabsorbedinthe breathwithouteventhinkingaboutforcingyourselforholdingawhipoverthe mind. Thiswaythemindcanbeongoodtermswiththebreath,thebreathcanbe good,anditseasierandeasiertosettledown.Soalwaystakestockofyourmind beforeyoumeditate,toseewhatkindofshapeitsin. Dontletthoughtsoffrustrationordiscouragementtakechargeofthemind. TheDalaiLamaoncesaidthethinghefoundmostsurprisingaboutWesterners wastheirselfhatred.InTibet,hesaid,onlythevillageidiotsfeelselfhatred.Of course,hesaidthatsmiling,butitsaprettyharshjudgment.Anditsalsotrue,I noticed,inThailand.Perhapsnotsomuchanymore:Asmodernculturemoves in,itreallydoesteachpeopletohatethemselves,tofeelbadaboutthemselves.It holdsupallsortsofimagesofphysicalandfinancialperfectionthatnobodycan liveupto.Butintraditionalculture,oneofthebasicskillsofbeingahuman beingwas,essentially,howtofeelgoodaboutyourself,howtoloveyourself, howtowishyourselfwell,andhowtoactintelligentlyonthatwish.Onlyreally stupidpeoplewouldhatethemselves,andyetthatkindofstupidityisrampant nowinthemodernworld.Becarefulnottopickitup. Themindhasthepotentialforallkindsofmoods.Sometimessimplysitting andtakingstockofthingsforafewminutes,learninghowtouseourpowersof thoughtnottodestroyourselvesasmanyofusdo,butasanassistancetothe meditationcanmakeallthedifference.Weoftenthinkthattomeditateisto stopthinking.Well,youhavetolearnhowtothinkproperlybeforeyour thoughtscanstopinaskillfulway. Ifyourethinkinginwaysthatareselfdestructive,inwaysthatarereally harmfultoyourself,andyousimplystop,itslikerunningatruckintoawall. Youcangetthrownthroughthewindshieldorsufferwhiplash.Butifyoulearn howtothinkinwaysthatareforyourowntruebenefitlikethethingswechant abouteveryevening,whicharealwaysbeneficialtothinkaboutthenwhenthe timecomesforthemindtosettledownandthinklessandlessandlessandget moreandmoreabsorbedinthepresentmoment,itsaloteasier.Theresa naturaldeceleration. Sothewayyouprepareyourselftomeditate,theattitudesyoubringtothe meditation,areveryimportant.Thisdoesntmeanthatyoushouldmeditateonly whenyoureinagoodmood.Ifyoureinabadmood,thinkinwaysthatwill improveyourmood,thatwillimproveyourattitudetowardthemeditation,your attitudetowardtheobjectthatyouregoingtobefocusingon.Remindyourself thatthebreathisyourfriend,andyoureheretodevelopthefriendshipeven further.Inthatwayyourthinking,insteadofbeingadistraction,isactuallya

31 componentpartofthemeditation.Itsanimportantstepthatcantbe overlooked.

32

TheStorytellingMind
June,2001 Weveallreadhowthepracticeofmeditationcandismantleoursenseofself aswetakeagoodhardlookatthethingsweidentifyasmeormine.Whenyou meditateyouresupposedtocomeintothepresentmomentanddropall referencetothefutureorthepastandsimplylookatthingsastheyarise.But somefuturesandpastsareeasiertodropthanothers.Evenifyoucandropthem forthetimeyoureinmeditation,youvegottocomebackandlivewiththem whenyoucomeoutofmeditation. Thiswholeissueofthenarrativesofourlives,thestorieswetellourselves:If wecouldjustdropthemandbedonewiththem,lifewouldbeawfullyeasy. Meditationwouldbeeasy.Butsomenarrativesarestickierthanothers.Weknow thattheBuddhasteachingsinvolvelearningtodropalotofthings,butinsome cases,beforeyoucandropthem,youhavetolearnhowtodothemskillfully. Thestoriesyoutellyourselfaboutyourlifeareamongthethingsyouhaveto learnhowtodoskillfully.Otherwise,youcancomeoutofanice,peaceful meditation,andmeetupwiththesameoldrottenstoryalloveragain.Youllfind yourselfrelatingtoitandgettingtiedupinitagainandagainandagain.Orelse youfindthatyoucantevengetintothemeditationtobeginwith,becauseno matterhowhardyoutrytodropthestoryitstaysstucktoyourhand. Soagoodpartofthemeditationisoftennotjustbeingwiththebreathbutif youfindyouvegotastorythatkeepsobsessingthemind,stirringupgreed, anger,delusion,fear,whateverlearninghowtodealwiththatstory,learning howtotellyourselfnewstories.Learnacorrectivetotheoldstories.Oneofthe basicwaysofdoingthisistoreflectonthepassagewechantedjustnow, developingthoughtsofgoodwill,compassion,appreciation,andequanimity.Try todeveloptheseattitudeswithrespecttothosestoriessothatyoucantell yourselfnewstoriesthatareeasiertoletgoofinaliberatingway. Inotherwords,youdontjustpushthestoriesaway.Youweaveanewstory andthenyougettothepointinthestorywhereitstimetosettledownand meditate.Thatwaythestorywillleaveyoualone.Whenyoucomebackoutof meditation,thestorymaystillbetherebutitsnotthekindofstorythatsgoing togetyouallworkedup.Itsbeenrefashioned. Learntogetmoreandmoreskillfulatthewayyoutellstoriesinthemind, startingoutwithanattitudeofgoodwill.First,goodwillforyourself.Yourealize thatifyousitheretellingyourselfbadstoriesoverandoveragain,youregoing tosuffer.Doyouwanttosuffer?Well,no.Doyouwantotherpeopletosuffer? Well,maybe.Youmaythinkaboutpeoplewhovewrongedyou,andofhow muchyoudliketoseethemgettheirjustdesserts.Incaseslikethis,youhaveto askyourselfwhatyouregoingtogainfromtheirsuffering.Youdontbenefitin

33 anywayfromtheirsuffering.Thefactthatyouresittingherewishingsuffering onthemisharmingyourightnow,gettinginthewayofyourmeditation. Sowhatyouwantisastoryforyourselfthatendsupwithyourbeinghappy andtheirbeinghappy.Thatsyourwish.Thatsthebasicfoundationforallthe restofthesublimeattitudes. Nowinsomecasesyouseewherepeopleareactuallyharmingthemselves, harmingyou,harmingothers.Thatswhereyouneedcompassion.Thinkabout it.Youreallywishtheycouldstop.Andofcoursethesamethingappliestoyou. Whenyoureharmingyourself,youwishyoucouldstopcausingthatharm.It wouldbegoodforthatharmnottohappen.Itwouldbegoodforthosepeople nottosuffer.Remindyourselfofthatattitude. Forappreciation,youremindyourselfofyourgoodness,ofthegoodnessof otherpeople,thethingsyouvedonethatmakeyoudeservetobehappy,the thingsthatotherpeoplehavedonethatmakethemdeservetobehappy.Youre notjealousorresentfuloftheirhappinessandyoudontdownplaytheirgood points. Finally,equanimity,whenyourealizethatsomethingsaresimplybeyond yourcontrol:Nomatterhowmuchgoodwillyoufeelforotherpeople,nomatter howmuchappreciationandcompassionyoufeel,somethingslietotallybeyond whatyoucanchange.Numberone,thepastcannotbechanged.Youhaveto developequanimitytowardthepast.LookatwhattheBuddhahasyouthink abouttodevelopequanimity:theprincipleofkamma.Oldkammaisoldkamma andcannotbeundone.Whatsimportantisyournewkamma,whatyouredoing rightnow.Now,thatcaneffectsomethings,butthereareotherthingsbeyond thepowerofnewkamma,largelythroughthecontinuanceofoldkamma. Youvegottothinkaboutthatandlearnhowtodevelopequanimityincases whereequanimityisappropriate. TheBuddhaisntsayingthatequanimityisbetterthantheotherthree attitudes.Youjustlearnwhichsituationsrequirewhichattitude:which situationsrequiregoodwill,whichrequirecompassion,whichrequire appreciation,whichrequireequanimity.Inthisway,equanimityisnotsimply passiveacceptance.Itsanorderingofyourpriorities,tellingyoutostopwasting energyonthingsthatcantbechanged,andtofocusitinsteadonareaswhere goodwill,compassion,andappreciationcanmakeadifference. Soyoulookatthestoriesyouretellingyourselfandtrytoinjectthemwith theseattitudes,andespeciallytheteachingonkamma.Theresnowrongthat goesunpunished,nogoodthatgoesunrewarded.Thatssimplythewaykamma is.Therefore,wedonthavetocarryaroundledgersheetswhichpersondid this,whichpersondidthatwiththefearthatiftheledgersheetdisappearsthen thatpersonsnotgoingtogettheretributionheorshedeserves.Theprincipleof kammatakescareofthat.Butrememberthatitalsotakescareofyouaswell. Whenyoulookatthesatisfactionyougetoutofunskillfulstorytelling,you realizethatitsprettymiserable.Itsnothingyoureallywant.Itsnothingthat

34 standsuptoanyrealscrutiny.Whenyouseethis,youfinditeasiertoletgo. Youvegottheseotherattitudesthatwillbringyouintothepresentmomentina waythatallowsyoutofeelgoodaboutyourself.Yourenotallowingyourselfto bevictimized.Atthesametimeyourenotwishingillonanybody.Youdowhat canbedonegiventhesituation.Andwhenthetimecomeswherethemindneeds arest,themindneedstosettledown,thatswhatshouldbedonerightnow. Thatsthebestthingyoucandorightnow.Andthatwaythenarrativeleadsyou intothepresentmoment. Youwanttolookattheattitudesyourefosteringinyourmindandmake suretheyreskillfulonesbecausethewholeissueofkammaboilsdowntothis: Whatyoudorightnowisimportant.Whatwasdoneinthepastmayhavesome influenceonwhatyoucandorightnow,butwhatyoudorightnowiswhats reallyimportant.Andthepossibilityofdoingsomethingskillfulrightnowis alwayspresent.Whenbadthingscome,youacceptthemastheresultsofpast kamma,butifyourealizeyouredoingbadkammainthepresentaswell,thats somethingyoucanthaveequanimityfor.Youvegottochangeit.Youcando yourbestinwhateverthesituationis,confidentthatitwillworkoutthatifyou keepondoingandsayingandthinkingskillfulthings,theresultswillhavetobe good. Sonomatterhowbadthesituation,yourhopeliesinwhatyouredoingright now.Andthemoreyouthinkaboutthis,themoreitbringsthemindintothe presentmoment.Thatswhenitsreadytomeditate. IfyoulookinthetextswheretheBuddhatalksaboutthepast,someofthem gobackmanyaeons,manycyclesoftheuniverse,describinghowthishappened, howthathappened,wherethiscamefrom,wherethatcamefrom:longstories aboutpastlivesorcyclesoflives.Butthesetextsallendupbypointingtothe basicprinciplethathasshapedthesethingsandisgoingtoshapethefuture:the principleofkamma.Andwhereskammabeingmade?Righthere,rightnow.So focusrighthere. Thesamewithallthecosmologies.WhentheBuddhadescribesthelevelsof being,thediscussioncomesdowntowheretheselevelsofbeingcomefrom. Theycomefromthemind,fromwhatthemindisdoinginthepresent.Right here,rightnow. Whateverthenarrativesare,whenyoutellthemskillfullytheybringyou backtothepresentmoment.Solearnhowtobeagoodstoryteller,telling yourselftherightstories,storiesthatwillbringyouintothepresentwithasense ofconfidenceinyourownabilities,withasenseofwellbeing,asenseofthe importanceofstillingthemind.Nomatterwhatthestoriesarenomatterwhat otherpeoplehavedone,nomatterwhatyouvedonetheresawayoflooking atthemthatcanputthemindatrest.Totrytofindthatway:Thisiswhatallthe teachingsonkamma,alltheteachingsonthesublimeattitudes,areabout.You weavenewstoriesinthemind,storiesinwhichyouhaveachangeofheart,new storiesthatcometogetherrighthere,enablingyoutostayrightherewithasense

35 ofwellbeing,clarity,concentration,mindfulness,anddiscernment.Without anythingtuggingyoubackintothepast,pullingyouintothefuture,youreable tojustberighthere,rightnow,awarerighthere,rightnow,healingthemind righthere,rightnow. Thatshowyouusethemindsstorytellingabilitytobringittoapointwhere itcanjuststoptellingstoriesandlookatwhatyouvegot.Learntobeskillful withwhatyouvegotrighthere,rightnow. ThatswhattheBuddhasteachingsallcomedownto,thisprincipleof skillfulness.Howskillfullycanyourelatetothedifferentthingsgoingoninyour mind,foryourownwellbeing,forthewellbeingofothersaroundyou? Meditationdoesntmeanthatyourecuttingoffanymentalfaculties.Themind hastotellstories.Evenarahantscantellstories,canreflectonthepastandplan forthefuture.Theyvesimplylearnedtodoitinawaythatdoesntcauseany suffering.Anditsnotjustfromtheirbringingthemindintothepresentmoment. Italsocomesfromreflectingonthingsinacertainway,usingtheBuddhas teachingsaspropertoolstoweaveskillfulnarratives.Letallthewaysthatthe mindrelatestoitselfintermsofpast,future,narratives,stories,worldviews, cosmologiesallyourviewsbecomeskillful.Letthemnolongerbeacausefor suffering. Thinkofthepracticeasanallaroundwayoftrainingthemind.Yourenot herejusttogetveryskillfulatnotingoratbeingwiththebreath.Youwantthe mindtobecomeveryskillfulinallitsactivities.AjaanFuangoncesaidtome, whenIwentbacktoreordain,thatbeingameditatorrequiresbeingskillfulin everything,notjustsittingherewithyoureyesclosed. Youapproacheverythingasaninterestingchallenge:Whatsthemost skillfulwayofdealingwiththis?Whatsthemostskillfulwayofdealingwith that?Whenyouhavethatattitude,whenyouvedevelopeditandtraineditin yourdailylife,thenwhenyoucometothemeditation,thingsgoaloteasier.

36

HowtoFall
December,2002 Afrequentquestionis:Howcanyoutellifyouremakingprogressinyour meditation?Andoneoftheanswersis:Whenthemindslipsoffitsobject,you getfasterandfasteratbringingitback.Notice,theanswerisnt:Themind doesntslipoffatall.Its:Youreexpectedtoslipoff;itsanormalpartofthe practice,anormalpartofthetraining.Thepointliesinbeingmorealerttowhats goingonandquickertoremedythesituationwhenyouveslippedoffthebreath. Soanimportantpartoflearninghowtomeditateislearninghowtofall.They saythatwhenyoustartlearningAikido,thefirstthingtheyteachishowtofall withouthurtingyourself.Thepurposeisthatitmakesyoulessandlessafraidto fall,lessandlessdamaged,ofcourse,bythefall,andalsolesslikelytofall,more willingtotakechances. Sothetrickwhenyoumeditateislearninghowtobringthemindbackwitha minimumamountofrecrimination,aminimumamountofselfcriticism,with justthesimpleobservation,Ihaventcomeheretothinkaboutnextweeks scheduleorlastnightsfiascoesorwhatever.Imheretofocusonthebreath. Simplyleavethoseotherthingsandcomeback.Learnhowtodoitwithouttying yourmindupinknots. Inourmoderneducationalsystem,werequicklychanneledintotheactivities wherewehaveanaturaltalent.Asaresultwedontlearnhowtobecomegood atthingsthatdontcomeeasily.Sowhenwemakeaneffortatsomethingthat doesntcomenaturally,theeasiestthingintheworldseemstobetoslipandfall andthenjustgowiththefallandplopdown,fallen.Thatscallednotknowing howtofall.Thetrick,whenyoufall,istonoticethatthereisacertainamountof momentum,butyoudonthavetogiveintothemomentum. Youcannoticethiswhenyouvemadeavowtogiveupsomethingfora particularperiodoftime.Lastsummeritwaspopularhereatthemonasteryto giveupchocolateintheevening.Butthencamethetemptation:Whatswrong withalittlebitofchocolate?Well,theresnothingreallywrongwithchocolate perse,soitwaseasytorationalizeandcometothedecisiontodropthevow,to goforthechocolate.Theproblem,ofcourse,isthattheimportantpartofthevow wasntthechocolate,itwasthetraininginstickingtoyourvownomatterwhat. Alltoooftenweassumethatoncethatdecisiontodropavowhasbeenmade,it cantbeunmade;yourepowerlessandhavetofollowthroughwiththe momentum.Butitispossibletounmakethatdecisioninthenextmomentor twomomentslater,threemomentslater.Thisiscalledlearninghowtofall properly.Inotherwords,youdontgiveintothemomentumthatleadsyou away.Yourealizethatyourealwaysfreetochangeyourmindimmediatelyand comeback.

37 Whenyounoticeyourselfslippingoffthebreath,dontjustgiveintothe momentumofhavingslipped.Catchyourself:Icanjustturnaround,and youllbeamazedathowquicklyyoucanturnaround.Now,themindmaycome upwithotherreasons:Ohno,youcantturnaroundnow;youvecommitted yourself.Well,thatsinteresting!Youvesuddenlycommittedyourselftothe distractionwhichisntcommittedtoyouandyoudontfeelyouve committedyourselftoyourmeditation.Thisisoneofthemanytricksthemind playsonitself.Theimportantpointislearninghowtoseethroughthosetricks, nottobelievethem,andtohaveafewtricksofyouown. Theresapartofthemindthatsaysitsalotmorenaturaltotaketheeasy wayout,butthatbegsthequestionofnatureversusnurture.Ifyougotoa psychotherapist,youlearnveryclearlyhowyourparticularhabitsgotdeveloped byaparticularwayyourparentsraisedyouorbyparticularexperiencesyouhad whenyouwereakid.Thatmeansthosehabitsarenotnecessarilynatural.They werelearned.Theyrethere,theyreingrained,butyoucanunlearnthem.You cannurturethemindintheotherdirection,whichiswhatweredoingaswe trainitinmeditation.Werereeducatingthemind. Andnotonlyareweteachingithowtostayononetopicaswestaywiththe breath,butwerealsoteachingithowtocomebacktothebreathmorequickly: howtocatchyourselfasthemindbeginstoletgoofthebreathandlatchonto somethingelse,andtojustturnrightaround,withoutanyproblematall,and latchbackontothebreath.Thiswayyoulearntodisciplineyourselfwithoutthe harshnessthatweusuallyassociatewiththeworddiscipline.Werelearninga morematteroffactwayofdealingwithourownmind. Youfindthatthiscutsthroughalotofthegarbage.Andasaresult,thereare fewerhooksforyourdefilementstohangonto.Insteadofdealingwith abstractionssuchasmypersonality,mycharacter,thewayIam,justkeep focusedonthepresentmoment.Whateverdecisionwasmade,itwasmadein totalfreedom,andifyouseeitsabaddecision,youhavetotalfreedomtomake anotherdecision.Whenyouclearawayyourselfimagewhichisanother hidinggroundforallkindsofdefilementstheplayingfieldisalotclearer,and therearealotfewerplacesforthedefilementstohide. AwomanIknowinLagunaBeachoncewenttoameditationretreatwhere shewastaughttobringmeditationpracticeintodailylifebyviewingdailylifeas aninterplaybetweentheabsoluteandtherelative.Thoseareprettybig abstractions,aboutasbigasyoucanget.Andaftertryingtothinkintheseterms foraweek,shecametotheSundaysittinggroupwithaveryconvoluted questionabouthowtomanageherlifeinthoseterms.Imustadmitthequestion wassoconvolutedthatIcouldntfollowit,buttheproblemwasobvious:The moreabstracttheabstraction,themoredifficultitistoseeyourwayclearlyin thepath,andtheeasieritistogettiedupinknots.Wetendtothinkof abstractionsasbeingcleanandneatandMondrian,butactuallytheyleaveroom forlotsofconvolutions.Theyplacelotsofveilsoverwhatsreallyhappening.

38 Whenyouclearawaytheabstractions,youhavethemindrightherewiththe breath.Itcandecidetostaywiththebreathoritcandecidetomoveaway.Itsas simpleasthat. Thesameprincipleappliesthroughoutthepractice.Onceyouvemadeup yourmindtostickwiththeprecepts,youkeepdecidingwitheverymoment whetheryouregoingtostickwiththatvow.Onceyouvemadeupyourmindto stickwiththebreath,youkeepdecidingwitheverymomentwhetheryoure goingtostickwiththatintention.Andthemoreyoukeepthingsonsimple terms,basicterms,downtoearth,nononsense,straighttalkingtermsinthe mindwithoutbringinginissuesaboutyourpast,withoutbringinginissues aboutyourselfimagetocomplicatemattersyoufinditsaloteasiertostayon thepath.Itsaloteasiertobringyourselfbackwhenyoufalloff,becausethere arefewerconvolutionsintheterrainyourefallingon.Sonotonlywhenyoure meditating,butalsowhenyourepracticingeveryaspectofthepath,trytokeep thingsassimpleaspossible,asdowntoearth,momenttomomentaspossible. WhenIwasstayingwithAjaanFuanghewouldsometimesaskmetodo thingslike,Tonightsitupandmeditateallnightlong.Omigosh,Iresponded thefirsttimehesaidthat,Icantdothat;Ididntgetenoughsleeplastnightand hadalong,tiringday.Andsoon.Andhesaid,Isitgoingtokillyou?Well, no.Thenyoucandoit. Assimpleasthat.Ofcourse,itwasnteasy,butitwassimple.Andwhenyou keepthingssimple,theyeventuallydobecomeeasier.Youjuststaywiththat momenttomomentdecision,notthinkingabout,Allnight,allnight,Ivegotto keepthisupallnight.Youjustthinkabout,Thisbreath,thisbreath,this breath.Findwaystokeepyourselfinterestedineachbreathasitcomes,and youllmakeittomorning. Thatshowyoubringthemeditationintodailylife:Keepthingssimple,strip themdown.Oncethingsarestrippeddowninthemind,thedefilementsdont havemanyplacestohide.Andwhenyoudofall,youfallinaplacethatseasier togetupfrom.Youdonthavetogiveintothemomentumofthefallorget stuckinaquagmire.Youcatchyourselfandregainyourbalancerightaway. Mymotheroncesaidthattheeventthatfirstattractedhertomyfather happenedduringamealatherhome.Myuncle,herbrother,hadinvitedmydad homefromcollegeforavisit.Thenoneday,duringameal,mydadknockeda glassofmilkoffthetablebuthecaughttheglassbeforeithitthefloor.Andthats whymymothermarriedhim.IknowitsoundskindofcrazyIowemy existencetomyfathersquickreflexesbutitsayssomethingveryinteresting. Anditsthekindofqualityyouwantasameditator:Ifyouknockyourselfover, well,youcanpickyourselfrightbackup.Ifyoucandoitbeforeyouhitthefloor, somuchthebetter.Butevenwhenyoureflatonthefloor,yourenotaglass. Youhaventshattered.Youcanstillpickyourselfup. Trytokeepitassimpleasthat.

39

TuningintotheBreath
December,2002 WhenIfirstwenttostaywithAjaanFuang,oneofthequestionsIaskedhim was,Whatdoyouneedtobelieveinordertomeditate?Heansweredthat therewasonlyonething:theprincipleofkamma.Nowwhenweheartheword kamma,weusuallythink,kammaandrebirth,buthemeantspecificallythe principleofaction:thatwhatyoudoshapesyourexperience. Ifyoureconvincedofthis,youcandothemeditationbecause,afterall,the meditationisadoing.Yourenotjustsittinghere,bidingyourtime,waitingfor theaccidentofAwakeningtohappen.Eveninverystillstatesofmeditation, theresanactivitygoingon.Eventheactofbeingtheknowingisstilladoing. Itsafabrication,asankhara.Inoneofthesuttas,theBuddhasaysthatallthe differentkhandhas,allthedifferentaggregatesthatmakeupexperienceasa whole,havetogetshapedintoaggregatesbytheprocessoffabrication.Inother words,theresapotentialforaform,apotentialforafeeling,potentialfor perception,fabrication,consciousness;andtheactoffabricatingiswhatturns thesepotentialsintoactualaggregates. Itsoundsabstract,butitsaveryimportantlessonforthemeditationeven fromtheverybeginning.Yousithereinthebodyandofcourse,thatsa fabricationrightthere:theideathatyouresittinginthebodybutgivenallthe manydifferentthingsyoucouldfocusonrightnow,theresthepossibilityof choice.Thispossibilityofchoiceiswherekammacomesin.Youcanchooseany ofthesensationsthatarecomingintoyourawareness.Itsasiftherewereabuzz inallthedifferentpartsofthebody.Theresapotentialforpainhere,apotential forpleasureoverthere.Allthesedifferentsensationsarepresentingthemselves toyouforyoutodosomethingaboutthem,andyouhavethechoiceastowhich onesyoullnotice. Doctorshavedonestudiesshowingthatpainisntjustaphysical phenomenon.Itisnttotallyagiven.Therearesomanydifferentmessages comingintoyourbrainrightnowthatyoucantpossiblyprocessthemall,soyou choosetofocusonjustsomeofthem.Andthemindhasatendencytofocuson painbecauseitsusuallyawarningsignal.Butwedonthavetofocusthere.In otherwords,therecanbeaslightdiscomfortinapartofthebody,andyoucan focusonitandmakeitmoreandmoreintense,moreandmoreofanissue.Thats onethingyoucandorightnow,butevenifyoumaynotrealizeityouhave thechoiceofwhetherornottodothat.Youcanchoosenottomakeitmore intense.Youcanchooseeventoignoreitentirely.Manytimeswehavehabitual waysofrelatingtosensations,andtheyresohabitualandsoconsistentthatwe thinktheresnochoiceatall.Thisisthewaythingshavetobe,wethink,but theydont.

40 Thatstheotherimplicationoftheprincipleofkamma:Youcanchangeyour actions.Ifsomepartsofexperiencearedependentonchoiceandfabrication,you canchoosetochange.Youseethisreallyclearlywhenyoufocusonthebreath. Thebreathisalwaysthereinthebody,andifyoulookcarefullyyoulldiscover thatithasmanylevels.Itslikelookingupinthesky:Sometimesyoufeela breezecomingfromthesouth,butyoulookupintheskyandseealayerof cloudsmovingeast,andanotherhigherlayerofcloudsmovingwest.Thereare lotsofdifferentlayersofwindintheatmosphereand,inthesameway,thereare lotsofdifferentlayersofbreathinthebody.Youcanchoosewhichonestofocus on. Itslikehavingaradioreceiver:Youcanchoosetotuneintodifferent stations.Theradiowavesfromallthenearbyradiostations,allthedifferent frequencies,areallintheairaroundus.ThereareradiowavesfromLosAngeles, radiowavesfromSanDiego,evenshortwaveradiowavesfromwhoknows where,allovertheplace.Theyregoingthroughthisroomrightnow.Theyre goingthroughyourbodyrightnow.Andwhenyouturnontheradioyouchoose whichfrequencyyouwanttofocuson,whichoneyouwanttolistento.The samewiththebody.Yousortout,ofallthepossiblesensations,justonetypeof sensationtofocuson:thebreathnessofthebreath.Whereveryoufeelthe sensationoftheinandoutbreathmostclearly,youfocusrightthere.Nowsome ofushavearadiowehaventtakenverygoodcareof,andassoonaswetuneit intoonestationitslipsovertoanother.Soyouvegottokeeptuningitback, tuningitback. Buttheproblemisntjustthetuning.Itswhatyoudowiththesensationonce youvetunedintoit.Again,youcanfocusonthebreathinawaythatmakesit painful,oryoucanfocusonitinawaythatmakesitcomfortable.Yourenot facedjustwiththegivennessofthebreath.Whatyoudowithitcanmakeit moreorlesspainful,moreorlesscomfortable.Tocontinuetheanalogy,itslike havingavolumecontrolontheradio:Youcanturnitwayuploudsothatit hurtsyourears,oryoucanturnitwaydownsoftsothatyoucanhardlyhearit atall.Butasyougetmoreskillfulwithyourvolumecontrol,yougetasenseof whatsjustrightsothatyoucanadjustthelevelandthepressureofyourfocus formaximumenjoyment. Asyougettunedinmoreandmoreprecisely,youdiscoverthereareother subtletiesaswell.Again,liketheradio,whenyoureallygettunedveryprecisely ontothefrequency,thestaticgoesawayandyoucanhearsubtletiesinthesignal thatyoucouldnthearbefore.Youcanplaywiththem,turnupthetreble,turn upthebase,whateveryouwant.Soeventhoughtheradiosignalisagiven,you candoalotwithit.Thatstheelementofkammainyourmeditationrightnow: Itswhatyouredoingwiththebreath. Youcanlearnhowtobemoreskillfulinhowyourelatetoitsothatyoucan sensenotonlytheveryobviousbreathoftheaircominginandoutofthelungs, butalsothesensationsthatgothroughthewholebodyasyoubreathein,asyou

41 breatheout,thepatternsofmovementinthebodythatactuallybringtheairinto thelungsandletitgoout.Theresawavegoingthroughthebodyeachtimeyou breathe.Asyoubecomesensitivetoit,youbegintosensewheretherestension inthebody,andwheretheresnot;wherethesubtlebreathflowsproperly,and whereitdoesnt. And,again,itsnotjustagiven.Youcandothingswiththatflow.Youcan improvetheflow.Ifyounoticetensioninacertainpartofthebody,yourelaxit; andoftentimesdoingthisimprovesthebreathflownotonlyatthatonespotbut alsoinotherpartsofthebodyaswell.Youbegintohaveasenseofthebodyasa wholeseriesofdifferentinterconnectedenergypatterns.Atighteninguphere mayleadtoatighteningupoverthere,anditallgetsconnectedinafeelingof overallconstriction,ofbandsoftensionsqueezingthebody.Oryoucanloosenit up.Thatsyourchoice.Youcanrelaxthisbitoftensionhereandfindthatitleads toanunravelingoftensionoverthere.Oryoumightfindthateverythinggetsso loosethatyoudriftoff.Thismeansthatyouvegottolearnhowtogainasenseof justrightsothatyoucanstaywiththesensation,keepyourfocus,andevenif theradiosignalbeginstodriftalittlebit,youcanfollowitpreciselyandstay rightwithit. Atthispointyoucanletgoofthesensationoftheinandoutbreaththe coarsebreath,theobviousbreathandfocusmoreonthesubtlebreathflowin thebody.Asyouworkthroughallthedifferentpartsofthebodywhereitfeels tenseorblockedorsortofsqueezedout,youletthebreathsensationsfillall thoselittlenooksandcrannies,andtherecomesagreaterandgreatersenseof fullness,refreshment.Thatswhatpitimeans.Itsthedrinkinginofthegood sensation.Wenormallytranslatepitiasrapture,butitsalsorelatedtotheword fordrinking,pivati.Youdrinkinthisnicesensation.Itfeelsfull,itfeels refreshingallthewaythroughthebodybecauseyouveopenedupallthelittle cellsinthebodyandallowedthebreathtoenter.Whenyougetthatsenseof fullness,itseasiertorelax. Thismaynotbeaprettyimage,butthemindatthispointislikeamosquito whenitsfinallyhitabigveininyourbody.Itsticksitslittleproboscisinandjust staysrightthere,bathedinbliss.Itswingsgoweak,itsfeetgoweak,andno matterhowmuchyoutrytobrushitaway,itjustdoesntwanttogo.Itsjust drinkinginwhatitwants.Thesamewiththemind:Assoonasthatrefreshing breathsensationbeginstofillthebody,youletgoofeverythingelse.Nomatter whatotherdisturbancescome,yourenottheleastbitinterestedbecauseyouve gotsomethingreallysatisfying.Youcouldalmostsaythatitsasensationtodie for.Youletdownyourguard,letgoofeverythingelse,becausethissensationis sototallyabsorbing.Youveopenedupeverypartofthebody,everypartofyour awarenessforthissensationtocomein. Asyoustaythereandthemindgrowsmoreandmorestill,youbecome awareofadeepersensationofabsolutefullnesswithnosenseofflowingback andfortharealstillnessinthebody.Theresaslightsenseofairexchangeon

42 theverysurfaceofthebody,thesurfaceofyourawareness,butdeepdown insidetheresagreatstillness.Theresnolongerthesenseofdrinkinginbecause youreabsolutelyfull.AjaanLeeusestheimageofanicecube:Avaporis comingoffthecubeaveryvaporousmovementaroundtheedgeofyour awarenessbuteverythingelseissolidandstill. Andthenfinallyeventhatvaporstops,andthesolidityfillsyourwhole awareness.Itsaccompaniedbyasenseofbrightness,eventhoughyoumaynot sensethisbrightnessasalight.Itsapeculiarquality:aphysicalsensation,a feelingtone,ofbrightness,clarity,fillingthewholebody,andyourejustsitting thereinthemiddleofit. Theresnoneedtorushthroughthesestages,noneedtogojumpingthrough hoops.Infact,itsbestifyounottrytorush.Justfindonesensationyoucantune into.Stayrightthereanditwilldeveloponitsown,simplybecauseofthe consistencyofyourfocus.Whenyoufinallyreachthatsenseofsolidstillnessand staythere,youbegintorealizethatyoucanchoosetogiveashapetoitornot. Youcanfocusonthesensationsthatgiveyouasenseoftheshapeofthebodyor youcanchoosetoignorethem.Thisiswhereyoureallyseetheprincipleof kammacomingintoplayinthemeditation.Itsalmostasifthevarious sensationsofthebodyhaveturnedintoamist.Therearetheselittlebreath dropletsjustshimmeringthere,andyousensethespaceinbetweenthem.The wholebodyisfilledwiththisspace,whichalsoextendsoutsidethebodyin everydirection.Insteadoffocusingonthelittledroplets,youcanfocusonthe space.Thisgivesyouareallyclearlessoninhowmuchchoiceyouhaveinhow youexperiencethepresentmoment.Justthesimplesensationofhavingabody herecomesfromsubconsciousshapegivingchoicesyouvemade.Yourealize therearelotsofdifferentsensationsyoucanfocuson,andtheresaskillinhow youchooseyoursensations,inhowyoumagnifytheonesyouwant,andhow youjustputasidetheonesyoudont. Soeventhoughthisisjusttraininginconcentration,theresalsoalotof discernmentinvolved.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,bothtranquilityandinsightare requiredforgettinggoodstrongstatesofabsorption.Andhenevertalkedabout insightwithoutframingitintermsofkamma,intermsoftheskillfulnessofwhat youredoing. Sothispracticeiswhatlaysthegroundworksothatwhenthetimecomesto considerissuesofinconstancy,stress,andnotselfyouvegottheproper context.Youvecreatedagoodspaceinside,agoodspaceinthepresentmoment, sothattheresnohungrysenseofhavingtograspafterthisorgraspafterthat. Whenyouvedrunkyourfillofthefullnessandstillness,youreinamuchbetter moodtoconsiderthingsforwhattheyactuallyaresothatwheninsightcomes itsnotdestabilizing.Withoutthissolidfoundation,thinkingaboutinconstancy, stress,ornotselfcangetreallydisorienting.Butwhenyoustartthinkingabout theseissuesinthecontextofwhatyouredoinginthemeditation,theymakeit

43 evenmorestabilizing.Thisiswhereconcentration,tranquility,insight,and discernmentallcometogetherinahealthyandbalancedway.

44

BathedintheBreath
December,2002 WhentheresaDhammatalk,youdonthavetolisten.Theimportantthingis tostaywithyourbreath.Whenthebreathcomesin,youknowitscomingin; whenitgoesout,youknowitsgoingout.Trytomakethatexperienceofthe breathfillyourawarenessasmuchaspossible.TheDhammatalkhereisafence tokeepyoucorralledwiththebreath.Whenthemindwandersoff,heresthe soundoftheDhammatoremindyoutogobacktothebreath,butwhenyoure withthebreathyoudontneedreminding.Youdoyourownreminding.Thats whatthemindfulnessdoesinthemeditation.Eachtimeyoubreathein,each timeyoubreatheout,remindyourselftostaywiththebreath.Makejustalittle mentalnote:Thisiswhereyouwanttostay,thisiswhereyouwanttostay. Andtrynottothinkofyourselfasinhabitingonepartofthebodywatching thebreathinanotherpartofthebody.Thinkofthebreathasallaroundyou.Its cominginandoutthefront,cominginandouttheback,downfromthetop,all thewayouttoyourfingers,allthewayouttoyourtoes.Theresasubtlebreath energycominginandoutofthebodyallthetime.Ifyoureinonepartofthe bodywatchingthebreathintheotherpart,youreprobablyblockingthebreath energytomakespaceforthatsenseofyouinthepartofthebodythats watching.Sothinkofyourselfastotallysurroundedbythebreath,bathedinthe breath,andthensurveythewholebodytoseewheretherearestillsectionsofthe bodythataretenseortight,thatarepreventingthebreathfromcominginand goingout.Allowthemtoloosenup. Thiswayyouallowforthefullnessofthebreathtocomein,goout,eachtime theresaninbreath,eachtimetheresanoutbreath.Actuallythefullnessdoesnt goinandout.Theresjustaqualityoffullnessthatsbathedbythebreath comingin,bathedbythebreathgoingout.Itsnotsqueezedoutbythebreath. Itsnotforcedoutbythebreath.Eachnerveinthebodyisallowedtorelaxand haveasenseoffullness,righthere,rightnow.Simplytrytomaintainthatsense offullnessbythewayyoubreathe.Yourfocusisonthebreath,butyoucant helpbutnoticethefullness. Ifyoucantgetthatsenseoffullnessgoingthroughoutthewholebody,find atleastsomepartofthebodythatdoesntfeelsqueezedout,thatfeelsopenand expansive,andthenseeifyoucancopythatsamefeelingtoneinotherpartsof thebody.Noticetheotherdifferentpartsofthebodywhereitfeelsopenlikethat andallowthemtoconnect.Atfirst,nothingmuchwillhappenfromthatsenseof connection,butallowittostayopen,stayopen.Eachtimeyoubreathein,each timeyoubreatheout,maintainthatsenseofopenness,openness,andthesenseof connectionwillgetstronger.

45 Thisiswhytheabilitytostaywiththesesensationsissoimportant,foryour stayingwiththemiswhatallowsthemtogrow.Ifyoumoveofftosomeplace else,ifyourethinkingofsomethingelse,therewillhavetobeatensingupinthe bodytoallowthatthoughttohappen.Whateversenseoffullnessmighthave developedsay,inyourarmsoryourlegs,indifferentpartsofthebody,down yourbackdoesnthaveachancetodevelop.Itgetssqueezedoffbecauseyoure notpayingattentiontoitanymore. ThisiswhytheBuddhatalksaboutconcentrationasmahaggatamcittam:an enlargedawareness.Ifyourawarenessislimitedjusttoonelittlespot, everythingelsegetssqueezedout,everythingelsegetsblottedoutandwhatis thatifnotignorance?Youretryingtomakeyourawareness360degrees,all aroundinalldirections,becausethehabitofthemindistofocusitsawarenessin onespothere,thenonespotthere,movingaround,buttheresalwaystheone spot,onespot,onespot.Itopensupalittlebitandthensqueezesoffagain,opens upalittlebit,squeezesoffagain,andnothinghasachancetogrow.Butifyou allowthingstoopenupthroughoutthewholebody,yourealizethatifyouthink aboutanythingatallyoudestroythatopenness.Soyouvegottobevery,very careful,very,verystill,toallowthisopenfullnesstodevelop. Sothesequalitiesofconsistency,care,andheedfulnessareimportantin allowingthisstateofconcentrationtodevelop.Withoutthem,nothingmuch seemstohappen.Youhavealittlebitofconcentration,thenyousteponit,alittle bitofconcentration,thenyousqueezeitoffasyougolookingatsomethingelse, thinkingaboutsomethingelse.Andsowhateverlittlebitsandpiecesof concentrationyoudohave,dontseemveryremarkable.Theydontgetachance toberemarkable.Concentrationtakestimeandoursocietyspretty extraordinaryinfosteringtheexpectationthatthingsshouldhappenquickly.If anythingsgoingtobegood,ithastohappenquickly,ithastobeinstant.Andso, byandlarge,wevelosttheabilitytostaywiththingsastheydevelopslowly. Wevelosttheabilitytokeepchippingaway,chippingaway,chippingawayata largetaskthatsgoingtotaketimeandcantbespeededup. WhentheBuddhagivesimagesforpracticingconcentration,heoftenrelates themtoskills.Skillstaketime,andhewasteachingpeoplewhohadtakenthe timetomastermanyusefulskills.InThailand,theystillsharpenknivesagainst stones,anditsaskillyouhavetolearn:hownottoruintheknifeasyoure sharpeningit.Ifyougetimpatientandtrytospeedthingsup,youllruinthe sharpness,thestraightnessoftheblade.Soyouhavetobeverystill.Themind hastobestill,andyouhavetomaintainjusttherightamountofpressure constantlyasyousharpentheblade.Atfirstitmayseemlikenothingis happening,butovertimethebladedoesgetsharperandsharper.The consistencyofyourpressureiswhatguaranteesthatthebladewontgetwornin oneparticularspottoosharpinonespotandnotsharpenoughinanother,too sharpinthesensethatthebladeisnolongerstraight.Youvewornitdowntoo muchinonespot.Therearealotofthingsyouhavetowatchoutfor,simplyin

46 theactofsharpeningablade.Butifyouhavethatskillinyourrepertoire,then whenthetimecomestomeditate,itseasiertorelatetowhatyouredoing:that samekindofconsistency,thatsameevennessofpressure,thecontinual mindfulnessandalertnessthatareneededtomaintaintheproperpressure. Anotherskillsometimesusedasananalogyisthatofahunter.Ahunterhas tobeveryquietsoasnottoscaretheanimalsoff,andatthesametimeveryalert soasnottomisswhenaparticularanimalcomesby.Inthesameway,weas meditatorshavetobecarefulnottoslipoffineitherdirection:intotoomuch stillnessortoomuchmentalactivity.Youhavetofindtheproperbalance.Iwas oncetalkingtoananthropologistwhosaidthatofalltheskillsinprimitive societiesthatanthropologiststrytolearn,thehardestishunting.Itrequiresthe strongestconcentration,themostsensitivity.Soherewerenothuntinganimals, butwerehuntingconcentration,whichisevenmoresubtleandrequireseven morestillnessandalertness. SometimesweintheWestthinkthatwecometotheDhammawithan advantage:Wevegotsomucheducation,weresowellread.Butwehavea majordisadvantageinthatwelackthepatienceandconsistencythatcomewith masteringaskill.Sokeepthatinmindasyouremeditating,whenyoufind yourselfgettingimpatientforresults.Youhavetobewatchfulandconsistent. Youneedthatsenseofbeingbathedbythebreath,beingopentothebreathing sensationsinallpartsofthebodydowntoeverylittleporeofyourskin.Then youlearnthesensitivitythatsrequired,theconsistencythatsrequired,to maintainthat.Thatwaythesenseoffullnesscangrowandgrowandgrowuntil itbecomesreallygratifying,reallysatisfying,togiveyourconcentrationthekind ofstrength,thesenseofrefreshment,thesenseofnourishmentitneedsinorder tokeepgoing. AjaanFuangoncesaidthatwithoutthissenseoffullness,refreshment,or rapture,yourmeditationgetsdry.Youneedthislubricanttokeepthingssmooth andrunning:thesenseofwellbeingandrefreshment,theimmediatevisceral pleasureofbeinginaconcentratedstate. Atthesametime,ithealsallourmentalwounds:anysenseoftiredness,of beingstressedout,mistreated,abused.Itslikemedicineforthesemental wounds.Now,medicineoftentakestimetowork,especiallysoothingand reconstitutingmedicine.Thinkofthecreamsyouputonchappedskin.Theskin isntimmediatelycuredwhenyoufirstrubonthecream.Ittakestime.Theskin hastobeexposedtothecreamforlongperiodsoftimetoallowthecreamtodo itswork.Thesamewithconcentration.Itsatreatmentthattakestime.Your nervoussystemneedstobeexposedtothesenseoffullnessforalongperiodof time,givingitachancetobreathein,breathoutallaroundsothatthe mindfulnessandthebreathtogethercandotheirhealingwork. Sodontgetimpatient.Dontfeelthatnothingishappening.Alotofthings thatareveryimportantrequiretime,andtheydotheirworksubtly.Ifyougive themthetimetheyneed,youfindthatyouremorethanrepaid.Afterall,you

47 couldbesittingforthewholehourplanningnextweek,planningnextmonth, planningnextyear.Whatwillyouhaveattheendofthehour?Alotofplans. Andpartofyoumayfeelsatisfiedthatyouveprovidedforthefuture,butwhen youreflectonhowmanyofyourpastplanshaveactuallyborneresults,youll realizetheoddsagainstyournewplanseveramountingtomuch.Whatwould youhavetoshowforyourhourthen?Nothingverycertain.Maybenothingbut mousedroppingsandstraw.Butifyougivethebreathanhourtodoitshealing work,totallyopeningupthebodytoallowthebreathtobatheeverynerveoutto everypore,youknowthatyoullcomeoutattheendofthehourwithabody andmindinmuchbettershape.Thebodywillbesoothed;themind,brightand alert. Andyoudontneedtostopbeingbathedinthebreathwhenthehourisup. Youcankeepitgoinginallyouractivities.Thatway,eventhoughyoumaynot bearmedwithawholesetofplansforfacingthefuture,atleastyoureina positionwhereyoudontneedthatkindofarmor.Youvegotthearmorofa healthybodyandmind.Youvegotaninvisiblearmor:theforcefieldofthisall encompassingbreath,continuallystreamingoutfromyourcentertoeverypore, protectingyouonallsides.Thatssomethingyoufeelineverycellofyourbody, somethingyouknowforsure,foryoucansenseitallaroundyou,righthere, rightnow.Andyouknowthatwhateverthefuturebrings,youreprepared.You canhandleit. Thissenseoffullness,brightness,alertness:Thatsallyoullneedtokeepthe mindcapable,healthy,andstrong.

48

TheStepsofBreathMeditation
November,2002 WhentheBuddhateachesbreathmeditation,heteachessixteenstepsinall. TheyrethemostdetailedmeditationinstructionsintheCanon.Andthebreathis thetopicherecommendsmosthighly,mostfrequentlybecausethebreathis notonlyaplacewherethemindcansettledownandgainconcentration,butits alsosomethingthemindcananalyze.Itswherealltheinsightsneededfor Awakeningcanarisewhilethemindisbeingmindfulofthebreath,alerttothe breath,andalsoconsciousofhowitrelatestothebreath. Inthelaterstagesofbreathmeditationtheemphasisisfocusedlessonthe breaththanonthemindasitrelatestothebreath.Inthebeginningstages, though,theemphasisisonthebreathitself,onusingthebreathtosnarethe mindandbringitintothepresentmoment.Inthefirsttwostepsyouresimply withlongbreathingandshortbreathing,sensitizingyourselftowhatlongand shortbreathingfeellike.Beginningwiththethirdstep,though,theresan elementofvolition.Youtrainyourself,andthefirstthingyoutrainyourselftodo istobeawareofthewholebodyasyoubreathein,awareofthewholebodyas youbreatheout. WhentheBuddhadescribesconcentrationstates,hedoesntuseimagesof singlepointedness.Heusesimagesofwholebodyawareness.Whenasenseof raptureandpleasurecomesfromthebreath,hetellsyoutokneadthatsenseof raptureandpleasurethroughthewholebody,thewayyouwouldkneadwater intoflourtomakedough.Anotherimageisoftherapturewellingupfrom withinthebodyandfillingthebodyjustlikeaspringofcoolwatercomingup fromwithinalake,fillingtheentirelakewithitscoolness.Anotherimageisof lotusesstandinginalake:Someofthelotusesdontgoabovethewaterbutstay totallyimmersedinthewater,saturatedfromtheirrootstotheirtipswiththe stillnessandcoolnessofthewaterinthelake.Stillanotherimageisofaperson wrappedinwhitecloth,totallysurroundedbythewhiteclothfromheadtofoot, sothatallofhisbodyiscoveredbythewhitecloth. Theseareallimagesofwholebodyawareness,ofasenseofrapture,pleasure, orbrightawarenessfillingtheentirebody.Thatswhatyouwanttoworkon whenyougettoknowthebreath,becausethetypeofawarenessthatallows insighttoariseisnotrestrictedtoonepoint.Whenyourefocusedononepoint andblotouteverythingelse,thatleavesalotofblindspotsinthemind.But whenyoutrytogetamoreallaroundawareness,ithelpseliminatetheblind spots.Inotherwords,youwanttobeimmersedinthebreath,awareofthe breathallaroundyou.Oneofthephrasestheyuseforthiskayagatasatiis mindfulnessimmersedinthebody.Thebodyissaturatedwithawareness,and theawarenessitselfgetsimmersedinthebody,issurroundedbythebody.So

49 itsnotthatyoureupinonespotsay,inthebackoftheheadlookingatthe restofthebodyfromthatonespot,ortryingtoblockawarenessoftherestofthe bodyfromthatonespotofawareness.Youvegottohaveawholebody awareness,allaround,360degrees,soastoeliminatetheblindspotsinthemind. Onceyouhavethistypeofawareness,youworkatmaintainingitalthough theworkhereisnotlikeotherwork.Youworkatnotmovingyourattention, atnotlettingitshrink.Youworkatnottakingonotherresponsibilities.With time,though,theworkbecomesmorenatural,moresecondnature.Youfeel moreandmoresettledandathome.Asthemindsettlesin,itsusualnervous energybeginstodissolve.Thebodyactuallyneedslessandlessoxygen,because thelevelofyourbrainactivitybeginstogrowcalm,andsothebreathgetsmore andmorerefined.Itcanevengrowperfectlystill,foralltheoxygenyouneedis cominginthroughtheporesofyourskin. Atthispointthebreathandyourawarenessseemtohavemeltedintoeach other.Itshardtodrawalinebetweenthetwoand,forthetimebeing,youdont try.Allowtheawarenessandthebreathtointerpenetrate,tobecomeone. Youhavetoallowthisawareness,thissenseofoneness,togetreallysolid. Otherwiseitseasilydestroyedbecausethetendencyofthemindistoshrinkup. Assoonaswethink,weshrinkuptheenergyfieldincertainpartsofthebodyto blockthemoutofourawareness,whichiswhytherestensioninthebodyevery timeathoughtoccurs.Thispartofthebodygetstensesoyoucanthinkthat thought;thatpartofthebodygetstensesoyoucanthinkthisone,backandforth thisway.Itsnowonderthatthesimpleprocessofthinkingtakesalotoutofthe body.AccordingtosomeChinesemedicaltreatises,apersonwhoseworkis mentaltendstouseupenergyatthreetimestherateofapersonwhoseworkis totallyphysical.Thisisbecausethinkinginvolvestensioninthebody.And,in particular,thoughtsthatgooffintothepastorintothefuturehavetocreate wholeworldsforthemselvestoinhabit. Whenweregettingthemindconcentrated,werethinkinginadifferentway. Inthebeginningstageswerestillthinking,butwerethinkingsolelyaboutthe presentmoment,observingsolelythepresentmoment,beingalertandmindful towhatsgoingonhere,sowedonthavetocreateworldsofpastandfuture. Thisimposeslessstressonthebody.Inordertomaintainthatpresentfocusand notgoslippingofftoyouroldhabits,youvegottokeepyourawarenessas broadaspossible.Thatswhatkeepsyourootedinthepresentmoment,allthe waydowntoyourfingersandtoes.Whenyourawarenessstaysbroad,it preventsthekindofshrinkingupthatallowsthemindtoslipoutafterthoughts ofpastandfuture.Youstayfullyinhabitingthepresent.Theneedtothinkgets moreandmoreattenuated. Whenfewerandfewerthoughtsinterferewiththeflowofthebreathenergy, asenseoffullnessdevelopsthroughoutthebody.Thetextsrefertothisfullness asrapture,andthesenseofeaseaccompanyingitaspleasure.Youletthissense ofeasyfullnesssuffusethebody,butyoustillmaintainyourfocusonthebreath

50 energy,evenifitstotallystill.Eventuallyandyoudonthavetorushthisthe pointwillcomewhenthebodyandmindhavehadenoughoftheraptureand ease,andyoucanallowthemtosubside.Ortheremaybetimeswhenthe rapturegetstoooverpowering,inwhichcaseyoutrytorefineyourawarenessof thebreathsothatitcancomeinundertheradaroftherapture,andyoumoveto aleveloftotalease.Theneventheeasethesenseofimbibingthepleasure subsides,leavingyouwithtotalstillness. Afteryouvebecomesettledinthestillness,youcanstartlookingforthe dividinglinebetweenawarenessandthebreath.Uptothispointyouvebeen manipulatingthebreath,tryingtogetmoreandmoresensitivetowhatfeels comfortableinthebreathingandwhatdoesnt,sothatyourmanipulationgets moreandmoresubtle,tothepointwhereyoucandropthemanipulationand justbewiththebreath.Thisallowsthebreathtogrowmoreandmorerefined untilitsabsolutelystill.Whenthingsarereallysolid,reallystill,yourawareness andtheobjectofyourawarenessnaturallyseparateout,likechemicalsina suspensionthatsallowedtostaystill.Oncetheawarenessseparatesout,youcan begindirectlymanipulatingthefactorsofthemind,thefeelingsandperceptions thatshapeyourawareness.Youcanwatchthemastheydothis,fornowthe breathisoutoftheway. Itsliketuningintoaradiostation:Aslongastheresstatic,aslongasyou arentpreciselytunedintothestationsfrequency,youcanthearthesubtleties ofthesignal.Butonceyourerightatthefrequency,thestaticgoesawayandall thesubtletiesbecomeclear.Whenyouretunedintothemind,youcanseethe subtletiesoffeelingandperceptionastheymove.Youcanseetheresultsthey give,theimpacttheyhaveonyourawareness,andafterawhileyougetthe sensethatthemorerefinedthatimpact,thebetter.Soyouallowthemtocalm down.Whentheyrecalmeddown,youreleftwithawarenessitself. Buteventhisawarenesshasitsupsanddowns,andtogetyoupastthemthe Buddhahasyoumanipulatethem,justasyoumanipulatedthebreathandthe mentalfactorsoffeelingandperception.Thetexttalksaboutgladdeningthe mind,steadyingthemind,andreleasingthemind.Inotherwords,asyouget moreandmoreusedtothestagesofconcentration,youbegintogainasenseof whichkindofconcentrationyourawarenessneedsrightnow.Ifitseems unstable,whatcanyoudotosteadyit?Howdoyouchangeyourperceptionof thebreathoradjustyourfocustomakethemindmoresolid?Whenthe meditationstartsgettingdry,whatcanyoudotogladdenthemind?Andas youremovingfromonestageofconcentrationtothenext,exactlywhatdoyou letgothatreleasesthemindfromtheweakerstageofconcentrationandallowsit tosettleinastrongerone? WhentheBuddhatalksaboutreleasingthemindatthispointinthepractice, hesnottalkingaboutultimaterelease.Hestalkingaboutthekindofreleasethat occursasyouletgo,say,ofthedirectedthoughtandevaluationofthefirstjhana, releasingyourselffromtheburdenofthosefactorsasyoumoveintothesecond

51 jhana,andsoonthroughthedifferentlevelsofconcentration.Asyoudothis, youbegintoseehowmuchthoselevelsofconcentrationarewilled.Thisis important.Insightcancomewhileyoureinconcentrationasyoumovefromone stagetothenext,asyounoticeoutofthecornerofyourmindseyewhatyoudo tomovefromonewayofexperiencingthebreathtothenext,onelevelofsolidity tothenext.Andyouseehowmuchthisisaproducedphenomenon. Thisfinallyleadstothestagesofbreathmeditationassociatedwithinsight. Firsttheresinsightintoinconstancy,bothinthebreath,butmoreimportantlyin themind,asyouseethateventhesestable,veryrefreshinglevelsof concentrationarewilled.Underlyingalltherefreshment,allthestability,isa repeatedwilling,willing,willingtokeepthestateofconcentrationgoing.Theres anelementofburdensomenessthere.Insightintoinconstancyorimpermanence haslesstodowithhowyouconsumeexperiencesthanitdoeswithhowyou producethem.Youseealltheeffortthatgoesintoproducingaparticulartypeof experience,andthequestionbecomes,Isitworthit?Isntthisburdensome, havingtokeepmaking,making,makingtheseexperiencesallthetime? Thentheproblembecomes,Whatareyougoingtodotoletgoofthis burden?Ifyoudontfabricatethesestatesofconcentration,isyouronlychoice togobacktofabricatingotherkindsofexperiences?Orisitpossiblenotto fabricateanyexperienceatall?Allofournormalexperiencesfrommomentto momenttomoment,whetherinconcentrationorout,haveanelementof intention,anelementofwill.Andnowyouvecometothepointwherethat elementofwill,thatelementofintention,beginstostandoutasanobvious burden.Particularlywhenyoulookaroundtoask,WhoamIproducingthis for?Exactlywhoisconsumingthis?Youcometoseethatyoursenseofwho youare,whothisconsumeris,isdifficulttopindown,becauseitsallmadeout oftheaggregates,andtheaggregatesthemselvesareinconstant,stressful,and notself.Thisconsumerissomethingproducedaswell.Thisgivesrisetoa qualitythetextscallnibbida,whichcanbetranslatedasdisenchantmentor disillusionment.Sometimesthetranslationgetsstronger:revulsion.Inallcases itsasensethatyouvehadenoughofthis.Youfeeltrappedbythisprocess.You nolongerfindanysatisfactionhere.Youwanttofindawayout. Soyoufocusonlettinggo.Accordingtothetexts,firsttheresafocuson dispassion,thenafocusoncessation,thenfinallyafocusontotalrelinquishment. Inotherwords,inthefinalstageyouletgoofeverykindofdoing,everykindof volition,oftheproducer,oftheconsumer,oftheobserver,evenofthe perceptionsandthethoughtfabricationsthatmakeupthepath.Whenthepath factorshavedonetheirjobyoucanletthemgoaswell. Allofthistakesplacerightatthebreath,atthepointwherethemindandthe bodymeetatthebreath.ThisiswhytheBuddhaneverhasyoutotallydropthe breathasyourthemeofmeditation.Progressalongthepathcomessimplyfrom stayingrighthereandgrowingmoreandmoreawareofwhatsgoingonall aroundrighthere.Youdevelopamoreallaroundawareness,notonlyall

52 aroundinthebody,butalsoallaroundinthemind.Youseethroughtheblind spotsthatallowedyoutoconsumeexperiencesobliviously,forgettingthefact thatyouhadtoproducethem.Itslikewatchingamovietwohoursoflights flashinguponascreenandthenlaterseeingadocumentaryabouthowthey madethemovie.Yourealizethatmonths,sometimesyearsoflaborwentintoit, andthequestionbecomes,Wasitworthit?Afewbriefhoursofempty enjoymentandthenyouforgetaboutitdespiteallthework,allthesuffering thatwentintomakingit. Sowhenyoulookatallyourexperiencesinthesameway,seeingalltheeffort thatgoesintotheirproductionandaskingifitsworthit:Thatswhenyoureally getdisillusioned,disenchanted,whenyoucanreallyletgo.Youletgonotonlyof perceptionsorfeelingsastheycomeandgo,butalsooftheactofcreatingthese things.Youseethatthisactofcreatingisallpervasive,coversallyour experiences.Yourealwayscreating,eitherskillfullyorunskillfully.Thereis constantproductioneverytimetheresanintention,everytimetheresachoicein themind.Thisiswhatbeginstoseemoppressive;thisiswhatfinallyimpelsyou toletgo. Youletgooftheproducing,youletgoofthecreation,andthelettinggo reallyopensthingsup.Themindopenstoanotherdimensionentirely:onethats notmadeup,thatsnotcreated,wheretheresnoarisingorpassingaway.And thattooistouchedrighthere,althoughatthatmomenttheresnosenseofbreath, nosenseofthebody,nosenseofthemindasafunctioning,creatingconsumeror producer.WhentheBuddhatalksaboutit,allhiswordsareanalogies,andallthe analogiesareoffreedom.Thatsaboutallthatcanbesaidwhenyoutryto describeit,buttheresalotthatcanbesaidabouthowtogetthere.Thatswhy theBuddhasteachingsaresoextensive.Hegoesintoalotofdetailonhowtoget there,outliningallofthesteps.Butifyouwanttoknowwhatthegoalislike, dontgolookingforextensivedescriptions.Justfollowthestepsandyoullknow foryourselfrighthere.

53

TheObserver
August5,2003 Sometimesmeditationiseasy;sometimesitshard.Butwhetheritseasyor hard,wehavetokeepourmindsonanevenkeel.Whenitgetseasy,dontget complacent.Ifyougetcomplacent,thingsstartlooseningup,likescrews looseningupinyourcar.Afterawhilethingsbegintorattleandthentheyfall off.Atthesametimewhenthingsdontgowell,dontgetupset.Rulenumber oneineithercaseistokeepthemindonanevenkeel.Haveastrongsenseofthe observer,thepartofthemindthatssimplywatchingwhatsgoingon,and identifyasmuchasyoucanwiththat. AjaanSuwatoncementionedthatwhenhefirstwenttostaywithAjaanMun hismindseemedtobeallovertheplace.Hedsitandmediateandbethinking aboutthis,thinkingaboutthat,andhewasafraidtotellAjaanMunforfearof whatAjaanMunmightsay.Butthenherealized,Imheretolearn.Sohewent toseeAjaanMun,toseewhatkindofadvicehewouldgive. AndAjaanMunsresponsewasthis:Well,atleastyoureawareofwhats happening.Thatsbetterthannotbeingawareofyourdistractionsatall.Then hequotedtheDiscourseontheFoundationsofMindfulness:Beingawareofa scatteredmindwhenitsscatteredcountsasoneofthefoundationsof mindfulness. AjaanSuwathandledthatlessonreallywell.HerealizedthatAjaanMunwas notpraisinghimbutsimplygivinghimsomecomfort,givinghimsome encouragement.Hewasntsayingthatwherehewaswasjustfine,buthewas remindinghimthatitwasntatotaldisaster,thatthefactthathewasmeditating wasbetterthannotmeditatingatall. Thisoftenhappenswithpeople:Thingsdontgowellintheirmeditationand theysay,Well,tonightsjustnotmynighttomeditate.Iddobettertostop.Not meditatingisnottheanswer.Eventhoughitmaynotbepleasant,sittingthrougha badmeditationisbetterthannotmeditating.Theremaybesomepointinthe courseofthemeditationwhenyoufinallycometoyoursenses,whenyousee somethingintherethatyoudidntseebefore.Thisiswhythatsenseofthe observerissoimportant. IntheCanontheytalkaboutthepersonwhosgothisorherthemeof meditationwellinhand,andtheimagetheyuseisofapersonsittingwhos watchingsomeonelyingdown,orofapersonstandingwhoswatchingsomeone sitting.Inotherwords,youplaceyourselfalittlebitabovewhatsgoingonand youwatchit.Youstepbacktoseewhatshappeningfromabetterperspective,to getasenseofwheretheimbalanceisinyourmind,towatchwhatyouredoing, andtothinkaboutwhatyoumightdodifferently.

54 Exactlywhyisthemeditationgoingpoorly?Whatslacking?AjaanFuang onceadvisedmakingamentalnoteofthesevenfactorsthatAjaanLeesetsoutin hisMethod#2,andthencomparingyourmeditationwiththem,toseewhats lacking.Ifyouvegotallsevencomponentfactors,thenthemindisgoingto settledownforsure:mindful,solid,andstill.Sochecktoseewhatslacking.Are younotclearaboutthelengthsofthebreaths?Areyounotclearaboutwhether thebreathiscomfortable?Areyounotspreadingthecomfortablebreath sensations?Doyounothavearestingplaceforthemind,forthebreathinthe body?Justgodownthelist,andifyoufindthatanyofthecomponentfactorsare missing,trytomakeupforthelack. Butagain,todothisyouneedthatsenseoftheobserver,thepersonwhos watchinganddoesntgetupsetbywhatshappening,doesntgetcarriedaway, butjustwatchesintotalneutrality.Whenyoucanwatchinthisway,thenevena badmeditationisntatotaldisaster.Youtakeitasachallenge.Tonights meditationmaybealittlebitdifferentfromlastnights.Lastnightswentwell, butyoustartouttonightandthingsdontseemtobegoingsowell.Insteadof gettingflustered,justask:Isitaquestionofthebody?Issomethingwrongwith thebreath?Issomethingwrongwithyourenergylevel?Areyoutoomanic?Too depressed?Lotsofdifferentfactorscanbeplayingarolehere,eitherfactorsin themindorfactorsinthebody.Ifyourenergylevelistoolow,youcanchange thewayyoubreathetoenergizeyourself.Ifyourenergyistoofrenetic,youcan breatheinawaythatcalmsyoudown. Trytobeaspreciselyobservantaspossible.Manytimeswhatmakesa differenceinthemeditationisthedetails,thelittlethings,andifyourenot payingcarefulattention,simplygoingthroughthemotions,youmissalot.You maybemissingsomethingimportanteventhoughitseemsminor.Trytogo througheveryaspectverymeticulously,trytobeveryobservant,becloseinyour powersofobservation. TheresawordinThai,thii,thatsusedtodescribethecloseness,say,ofthe teethinyourcomborthepicketsinafenceanyseriesofthings.Itsalsousedto describethefrequencyofaradiosignal.Thehigherthefrequencythecloserthe frequency.Soyouwantyouractsofmindfulness,youractsofalertness,tobe veryclose:rightnexttoeachother,withnogaps.Otherwise,ifyouleavealotof gapstheresplentyoftimeforthecurtainstocomedowninthemind.The backstagecrewcanchangethescenery,andwhenthecurtaincomesupagain youreoffsomeplaceelse.Butifyourmindfulnessiscloselikethis,thenthey havenotimetobringdownthecurtain.Iftheychangethesceneryyouseeit happening,andthatdestroystheillusionthatotherwisewouldcarryyouaway. Sowhateverhappensinthemeditation,alwaysstopandtakestockof, Wherestheobserverrightnow?inotherwords,thepartofthemindthat cansimplywatchandnotbemovedbyeventsatall.Weresousedtolivingin thepartofthemindthatsconstantlypushedaroundbyeventsthatitalmost seemstraitoroustostepbackandbeinthepartthatsnotmovedbyanythingat

55 all,nottouchedbyanythingatall,thatjustwatches,seeingwhatsgoingon. Theresalwaysthatcornerinthemind.Sotrytolocateit,getfamiliarwithit. Learnhowtomakethatthebasisofyourstance,sothatnomatterwhathappens youseetheeventsclearlyforwhattheyare.Youclearlyseetheconnection betweencauseandeffect.Thatputsyouinapositionwhereyoucanuseyour ingenuitytomakechanges,adjustthingshere,adjustthingsthere,trythis,try that.Evenifwhatyoutrydoesntworkout,youvelearnedsomething.Youve learnedthatthatparticulartacticdoesntworkhere,whichissomethingworth knowing. Ifyoutakethisattitudethennomatterhowwellthemeditationgoes,no matterhowpoorlyitgoes,itsalwaysanopportunitytolearn.

56

Judiciousvs.Judgmental
May,2003 Oneofthemostdifficultbutnecessaryskillsweneedtodevelopas meditatorsislearninghowtobejudiciouswithoutbeingjudgmental.Andasa preliminarysteptodevelopingthatskill,itsgoodtoreflectonthedifference betweenthetwo. Beingjudgmentalisbasicallyanefforttogetridofsomethingwedont understandandprobablydontwanttounderstand.Weseesomethingwedont likeandwetrytodismissit,tostampitoutwithouttakingthetimeto understandit.Wereimpatient.Whateverwerebeingjudgmentalabout,wejust wanttogetridofitquickly. Beingjudicious,however,requirespatiencetogetherwithunderstanding.A judiciouschoiceisoneyouvemadeafterunderstandingalltheoptions,allthe sidesofaquestion.Thatwayyourchoiceisbasedonknowledge,notongreed, aversion,ordelusion. ThisiswhytheBuddha,inhisanalysisofthefourtruths,saidthatourtask withtheregardtothefirsttruththetruthofsufferingorstressisto comprehendit.Alltoooftenwetreatpaininthesamewaywetreatanythingwe dontlike:Wewanttogetridofitasfastaspossiblewithouttakingthetimeto understandit.Sowhatwerelearningaswepracticeishownottobejudgmental aboutthethingswedontlikeinsideourselves.Wedevelopthepatienceandthe skillweneedinordertostopandtakeagoodlonglookatthesethingssothatwe candealwiththemjudiciously,sowecandealwiththemthrough understanding.Wegivethemspacesothatwecanwatchthem,canunderstand them,sothatwhenwefinallydecidethattheyreallyareunskillful,thatwereally dontwanttohavethemgoingoninourmind,wecangetridofthemneatly, effectively. Theproblemwithbeingjudgmentalisthatitsnoteffective.Wetrytostamp outthingshereandtheygospringingupsomeplaceelse,asintheoldmovie,The Thing.TheThingwouldgoundergroundandsuddenlyspringupsomeplace else.Ifyoucutoffoneheadhere,oneidentityhere,itsundergroundrootsand tentacleswouldspringupwithanew,evenmorehorrificidentitysomeplace else.Thesamethinghappenswhenwetrytogetridofanythinginthemind whenwedontunderstanditsroots,dontunderstandwhereitscomingfrom. Beingjudicious,though,ismoreeffective.Itsmoreprecise.Weseewhatsreally skillful,whatsreallyunskillfulinthemind,andwelearnhowtodisentanglethe two.Oftenourskillfulandunskillfulhabitsgetentangled.Thethingswedont likewithinourselvesactuallydohavesomegoodinthem,butwedontnoticeit. Wefocusinsteadonwhatwedontlike,orwhatwereafraidof,andweendup tryingtostampitallout,thegoodalongwiththebad.

57 Sothisiswhywemeditate:tostepbackabit,towatchthingspatientlysothat wecanseethemforwhattheyareanddealwiththemeffectively.Our concentrationpracticegivesusacomfortablecenterinourawarenesswherewe canrest,wherewefeellessthreatenedbythings.Whenwefeellessthreatened andlessoppressed,wehavetheresiliencetobemorepatient,tolookintowhats goingoninthemind,andtodeveloptheproperattitudestowardwhatisskillful andwhatisnt. Thisiswherethefoursublimeattitudescomein.Backinthe70sIreada bookaboutBuddhismwhoseauthortriedtoorganizeeverythingaroundthe fournobletruthsbutcouldntfigurehowthefoursublimeattitudesfitintothe frameworkofthefourtruths.Theyjustdidntseemtoconnectanyplaceatall,so theauthorendeduptreatingthemasanentirelyseparatetopic.Butactuallythe foursublimeattitudesunderliethewholepractice.Theyrethereasonthe Buddhafocusedhisteachingonthefournobletruths.Youneedasenseof goodwilltobeeveninterestedinthequestionoftryingtounderstandsuffering, becauseyouwanttofindaneffectivewayofdealingwithit.Youwanttoberid ofsuffering,toexperiencewellbeing,preciselybecauseyouhavegoodwillfor yourselfandforothers.Soasmeditatorswetrytousethatattitude,thatdesire, asawayofdevelopingthecenterweneedinordertoworktowardthat wellbeingfromapositionofstrength.Ifyoudonthavethatbasicsenseof goodwill,youllhaveahardtimetryingtostiruptheenergyneededtomaster concentration,tokeepwiththebreath,tokeepcomingbacktothebreathno matterhowmanytimesyouwanderoff. Now,youmaywanttobeatamoreadvancedstagethantryingtoreininthe mind.YouwanttositdownandBung,thereitis:thefirstjhana.Butwhenit doesnthappenquicklyyougetfrustrated.Soputthatfrustrationaside.Put awayalltheprideandtheshadowsideofpride,whichistheshame.Justput thosethingsaside,andremindyourselfthatthisisthewaythingsare,thisis whereyouare,andbewillingjusttokeepcomingback,comingback,tostick withthosesimpletasks.Thepeoplewhomasteranykindofskillaretheones whoarewillingtostepbackandmasterthesimplesteps,topracticethemover andoveragain,becauseitsindoingthesimplestepsandbeingobservantthat youlearnmanyofyourmostimportantlessons. Thesestepsarenotjustamechanicalprocessthatyouhavetobulldozeyour waythroughasquicklyaspossible.Youhavetopayattentiontowhatyoure doingevenwhenthingsarenotgoingwell.Payattentiontohowthemindslips off,payattentiontohowyoubringitback,andyoulllearnanawfullotright there.Underlyingallthishastobeanattitudeofgoodnaturedgoodwill.If theresasenseoffrustration,rememberthatyoureherebecauseofgoodwill,not forthesakeoffrustration,notforthesakeoffindingsomenewthingtobeat yourselfovertheheadaboutortobejudgmentalabout.Yourehereforthesake ofgoodwill,forthesakeofgivingthemindaplacewhereitcansettleinandbe atease.

58 Developcompassionforyourself.Thinkofallthesufferingyoucouldbe causingyourselfifyouwerentmeditating.Thinkofallthesufferingyoumight becausingothersifyouwerentmeditating.Thishelpstoremindyouthatwhen thingsarentgoingallthatwellinthemeditation,itsstillalotbetterthanmost ofthethingsthatpeopledointheirlives.Itsagood,beneficialuseofyourtime. Thendevelopanattitudeofsympatheticjoy,appreciatingthehappinessyou candevelopthroughthepractice,appreciatingthehappinessofothers.Ofallthe foursublimeattitudes,sympatheticjoygetstheleastpress.Itsoftenthehardest todevelop.Thereseemtobevoicesinourheadsthatresenthappinesseither thehappinessofotherpeopleor,ifotherpeoplehaveresentedourhappiness, wevepickeduptheirvoicessomeplaceandcanevenbedistrustfulofourown happiness.Sowehavetocounterthosevoicesbyrealizingthatthereisnothing wrongwithhappiness.Itcomesthroughouractions.Ifthehappinessthat someoneisexperiencingrightnowdoesntseemtobedeservedintermsofhisor herpresentactions,theremustbesomethinginthepasttoaccountforit.Atthe sametime,remindyourselfthatanattitudeofresentmentdoesnthelpyouor anyoneelseatall.Sometimesitseemsunfairthatsomepeoplearehappyand othersarenot.Butforthetimebeing,justputthequestionoffairnessor unfairnessaside.Wherevertheresasenseofwellbeinginthemind,learnhowto appreciatethatsenseofwellbeing.Ithasitsuses. Mostpeople,whentheyexperiencehappiness,getcomplacent,whichisone ofthereasonswhythequestforhappinessisoftenbrandedasselfish.People enjoyingpowerorbeautyorwealthtendtogetcomplacentandasaresultof theircomplacencystartdoingveryunskillfulthings.Butifyouapproach happinessfromtheattitudeofsomeonewhospracticingastheBuddhataught, thereisauseforhappiness.Itsaqualityinthemindthat,ifproperlyused,can bringaboutpeaceofmind.Afterall,theconcentrationwerelookingforinour practicehastohavesomebasisinwellbeing.Otherwisethemindwouldntbe abletostayhere.Soifyoulearnhowtousethatsenseofwellbeingproperly, withoutcomplacency,ithasnodrawbacks. TheBuddha,whenhewaspracticingausteritiesallthoseyearsandyearsin thewildernesspriortohisAwakening,hadaveryunhealthyattitudetoward happiness.Hewasafraidofit.Hewasafraidofpleasure,afraidthatitwould leadtoallkindsofdetrimentalthingsinthemind.Onlybyreflectingcarefullyon thesenseofpleasureinjhanaandrealizingthattherewasnothingtofear,that therewerenodrawbacksinthattypeofpleasure,washeabletogivehimself wholeheartedlytothepracticeofjhana. Itsgoodtorememberthatwhateverissueswehaveinthepractice,the Buddhawentthroughthemall.Itsnotthattheressomethingespeciallywrong withus.Thesearenaturalhumantendencies.TheBuddhawasahumanbeing andhadtoovercomenaturalhumantendencies,too.Sowereingoodcompany. Wevegothisexampletoshowthattheycanbeovercome,andhisassurancethat weashumanbeingshavewhatittakestodoit.

59 Finallytherestheattitudeofequanimity,whichisusefulinmanyways. Whenwereworkinghereinthemeditationandtheresultsarentcomingasfast aswedlike,equanimityteachespatience.Itremindsusthattheprincipleof actionoftenrequiresthatthingstaketime.Ifyoureworkingonsomethingthat takestime,trytodevelopequanimity.Thatmakesiteasiertobepatient.Realize thatthingsdontnecessarilyhavetogothewayyouwantthemtorightaway. Whenyourewillingtoadmitwhatthesituationactuallyis,thenyoucan actuallyactmoreeffectivelywithit.Again,thisisamatterofbeingpatient, takingthetimetounderstandwhatsgoingon. Sowhenweworkatthesesublimeattitudesandbringthemtothe meditation,wefindthattheycreateasenseofpatience,asenseofwellbeing,an abilitytoworkatataskthattakestime.Sometimesthepracticeseemstorequire thatwedomindlessthingsoverandoveragain:Justbringthemindbacktothe breath,bringthemindbacktothebreath.Why?Dontaskquestionsrightnow, justbringthemindbacktothebreath.Butbeobservantwhileyoudoit,because asyoucatchthemindgoingoff,youcanlearnsomeveryinterestingthings.You cometoapointwhereyoucanseethemindbeginningtomoveandyouhavethe choicetogowithitornot.Onceyoucatchyourselfatthatpoint,thenitsalot easiertostaywiththebreath.Youvelearnedanimportantlessonabouthowto readthemovementsofyourmind. Thesameprincipleappliestohowyoubringthemindbackwhenyourealize itswanderedoff.Doyoubringitbackinajudgmentalwayorinamore judiciousway?Ifyoufindthatyourattitudeisjudgmental,canyoufindother waysofsimplybringingitbackwithoutalltheextrabaggage?Justverymatter offactlybringitbackandleaveitatthat.Justthissimpleprocessinandofitself teachesyoualotoflessonsaboutthedifferencebetweenbeingjudgmentaland beingjudicious.Inotherwords,youtrytounderstand,youtrytolookfor patterns,sothatthewayyouorderthemindaroundortrytocreatesomesense ofcontrolinhereisactuallyeffective. Thereasoncontrolfreakshaveabadreputationisbecausetheyreineffective. Theyrejudgmental,theyrenotjudiciousinhowtheycontrolthings.Actually, controlisntabadthing.Butaswithbeingjudiciousithastobedone skillfully.Andthattakestime,requirespowersofobservation.Watchwhat youredoing,watchtheresults.Ifthingsdontwork,admitthefactandtry somethingelse.Whenyoudothis,youfinditeasierandeasiertotellthe differencebetweenbeingjudgmentalandbeingjudicious.Atthesametime,you startgettingbetterresultsfromyourmeditation,becauseyouvetakenthetime towatch,toobserve,tounderstandwhatsgoingon. Oneofthemainproblemsinmodernlifeisthatpeoplehavesolittletime. Whentheymeditate,theywanttocramasmuchoftheirmeditationaspossible intotheirlittlebitsandpiecesofsparetime.Ofcoursethataggravatesthewhole problemofbeingjudgmental.Sokeepremindingyourselfthatmeditationisa longtermproject.Whenyouhaveasenseofthatlongarcoftime,itsaloteasier

60 tositbackandworkverycarefullyatthebasicsteps.Itslikelearninganyskill. If,inoneafternoon,youwanttogainalltheskillsyouregoingtoneedtoplay tennis,youendupdoingthemallverysloppilyandwontgettheresultsyou want.Butifyourealizethatthismaytaketime,youcanworkononeskillata time:Howdoyoukeepyoureyeontheball?Howlongisyourbackswing?Take theskillapartstepbystepbystepandbewillingtoworkonsmallthingslike thisbitbybitbybitsothatyoureallyunderstandthemdeepdowninyour bones.Thatway,whenthetimecomestomakechoices,theyllbejudicious choices,notjudgmentalchoices,andyoullgettheresultsyouwant.

61

ImpossibleThings
November,2002 TheresacharacterinThroughtheLookingGlasswhosaysthathelikestothink abouttwoorthreeimpossiblethingseverymorningbeforebreakfast.Ithelpsair outhismind.Thatsagoodstrategyforusasmeditatorsthinkaboutacouple ofimpossiblethingseveryday:thatyouregoingtomasterconcentration,youre goingtotastetheDeathless. Ofcoursethesethings,strictlyspeaking,arenotimpossible,butalotofvoices inourmindsseemtoinsistthattheyare.Soitsgoodtothinkabout impossibilitieseverynowandagaintochangethetoneoftheconversation. Remindyourselfthatyourlifeisntalreadywritteninstone,thatyourenota slavetofateoralittlenamelesscoginthebigmachine.Youreactuallyadoer,a mover,ashaper.Youcanshapeyourlifeinthedirectionyouwantittogo. TheBuddhasaidthattherearefourtypesofactionintheworld:thingswe liketodothatgivegoodresults,thingswedontliketodothatgivebadresults, thingsweliketodothatgivebadresults,andthingswedontliketodothatgive goodresults.Thefirsttwoarenobrainers.Withouteventhinking,youdothe thingsthatyouliketodoandgivegoodresults.Theresnoconflictinthemind. Thesameholdstrueforthingsyoudontliketodothatgivebadresults.You dontwanttodothem.Theresnodiscussion.Thecommitteeisunanimous. Thedifficultactionsaretheonesyouliketodobutgivebadresultsandthe onesyoudontliketodobutgivegoodresults.TheBuddhahadaninteresting commentonthesetwo.Hesaidtheyreameasureofapersonswisdomand discernment.Hedidntsaytheyreameasureofyourwillpower.Youneedtouse discernmenttodothethingsyoudontliketodobutgivegoodresultsandtonot dothethingsyouliketodobutgivebadresults.Thediscernmentliesnotonlyin seeingtheconnectionbetweencauseandeffectineachcase,butalsoin outmaneuveringthecommitteememberswhojustwanttodowhattheywantto doregardless.Itlearnstoseethroughtheblockadesthatthemindputsupfor itself,thedifficultiesitcreatesforitself,andfiguresouthowtogetpastthem. Oneofthebiggestdifficultieswecreateforourselvesisourselfimage.We noticethatitsdifficulttodothingsthataregoodforusandeasytodothings thatarenotgoodforus,andwecometothinkthatournatureistobelazy,or thatthelazysideofthemindisourtrueself,becausetheothersideobviously takeseffort.Thelazysideofthemindistheonethatjustgoeswiththeflow,so thatmustbewhowetrulyare.Thatswhatwethink,butthatkindofthinkingis reallyselfdestructive. Wemayrememberthetimeswhenwevedonetherightthingwhenweve meditated,followedtheprecepts,livedinlinewiththeDhammabutallwecan thinkaboutishowmucheffortittook.Sowesay,Thatmustnottrulybeme.

62 Thatmustbesomebodyelse.Imustbethepersonwhodoesthingsthatareeasy, Imustbelazy,Imusthaveverypoorwillpower.Thatkindofattitudeisahuge misunderstanding.Thethingsthataredifficultarehardforeverybody.Rather thancreatingaselfimageaboutit,though,wisepeoplejustthink,HowcanI maneuveraroundthislaziness?HowcanImaneuveraroundthisnegative attitude?Theyexperimentandtrydifferentapproachesuntiltheyfindwhat works. Thisiswhatyouhavetotrytodoinyourmeditation.Ifyoufindyourselfup againstthatkindofobstacle,learntotakeyourselfimageapart.Realizethat yourselfisnotagiven,theimageitselfisnotagiven.Itsapattern,itsahabit, thiskindofselfimagingyouhave.Ifitgetsinthewayofwhatyoureallywant, thennomatterhowmuchitscreamsthatthisisyourtrueself,youhaveto questionit.Youhavetotakeitapart.Dontbelieveit. Nomatterhowmuchthemindmaysayitdoesntwanttostruggle,thatsjust onepartofthemind.Theresanotherpartthatdoeswanttoattemptthestruggle, doeswanttohavethestrength,doeswanttoseethingsthrough.Thelazyside hassabotagedthatbysaying,Thatsnotreallyme.Well,whoisthislazyside? Whywouldyouwanttoidentifywithit?Youhavethechoice. Trytofindtheholesinitsarguments,learnhowtotakethingsapart.You havetolearntodeconstructthenegativehabitsinthemind.Thefirststepisto questiontheirtruth,theirvalidity.Afterall,theBuddhasaidthatthemindcan betrained,andthathappinesscomesfromthetraining.Ifpeoplecouldnt change,theredbenopointinteachingtheDhamma.Theredbenopointin tryingtopractice.Thetruthofthematter,though,isthatweallhavethe potentialforchange.Eachmomentisanewmoment,amomentwithanelement offreedom. Thentheresthepartofthemindthatsays,Okay,youcanchoosetodothe rightthingrightnow,butitsnotgoingtolastverylong.Youhavetoquestion that,too.Thebestwaytoquestionitistochoosetodotherightthingforatleast thenextmomentandthenextmomentandthenextmomentandthensay,See? Icandoit.Thenegativesidewillcomeupwithallkindsofotherarguments, butyouhavetobedeterminednottolistentothem,nottobelievethem.Tryto figureoutwaystoundercutthepartofthemindthatdoesbelievethem. Itskindoflikeinternalpolitics.Therearecertainvoicesthatcomescreaming atyouallthetime,andyouvelearnedtogiveintothem,sometimessimply becauseoftheirforce.Ifyoustopandreallylookatthem,though,youseethat theresnotmuchtherethatyoudreallyliketogiveinto.Soyouhavetocreate othervoicesinthemind.Thepathissomethingyoucreate,afterall.Its somethingyouputtogether.Intechnicaltermsitssankhatadhamma,something youputtogether. Thequestionisnotwhetheryounaturallylikeitornot.Thatsoneofthe main,commonmisunderstandingsinAmericanBuddhismrightnow:thissense thatyoucanchoosewhicheverpathyoulikeanditwontmatterbecauseallthe

63 pathscomeoutthesameintheend.Well,therearepathsthatwork,andthere arepathsthatdont.Apathyouhappentolikeisntnecessarilygoingtotakeyou whereyoureallywanttogo. Sotherehastobeanelementofstruggle.Therehastobeanelementof puttingsomethingnewtogether,ofnotfallingbackintooldways.Whenyou stoptothinkofit,whenyoufallintooldwaystheresanelementofconstruction, yourecreatingthatoldsenseofselfoverandovereverytimeyougiveintoit.Is thatthekindofselfyouwanttocreate?Youhavetheoptiontocreatesomething else. Formanyofus,wedontliketheresponsibilitybecauseifwereresponsible thatmeansweregoingtoberesponsibleforourmistakes.Soyouhavetoask, Well,sowhat?Everybodymakesmistakes.EventheBuddhamademistakes beforehebecametheBuddha.Thisiswherewereallcomingfrom. Thisiswhysanghanussati,recollectionoftheSangha,issuchauseful contemplation.SometimesitshardtocompareyourselftotheBuddha,butyou cancompareyourselftomembersofthenobleSangha.Peoplewhofollowedthe Buddhasteachingswereofallkinds.Therewerelepers,poorpeople,rich people,allkindsofpeople.OnefamouspairwasMahapandakaand Culapandaka.Theywerebrothers.Mahapandakawastheolderbrother; Culapandaka,theyoungerbrother.Mahapandakawasverysmart,Culapandaka wasverydumb,yetbothofthembecamearahants.Thereareallkindsofpeople inthenobleSangha.EveryoneinthenobleSanghahasbeenwhereyouarenow, intermsofthestrengthsandweaknessesoftheirminds.Whatmadethe differenceisthattheyfinallydecidedthattheyweregoingtousethosestrengths toovercomethoseweaknesses.Andthefirststepwassimplythinkingthatit couldbedone.Iftheycoulddoit,socanyou.Itmayseemimpossible,butyou cangetusedtothinkingimpossiblethings. Afterall,theBuddhawastoldthatitwasimpossible,theideathattherecould beaDeathless,thattherecouldbesomethingbetterthanwhathealreadyhad. Therehewas:wealthy,educated,goodlooking,powerful.Hehadallthesensual objectsandpleasuresthatanyonecouldimagine,andhestillwasntsatisfied.His familyandfriendssaid,Dontkidyourself.TheDeathlessisntpossible.Thisis asgoodasitgets. Hesaid,Well,ifthisisasgoodasitgets,thenlifeisprettymiserable, becauseitsallgoingtofallapartsomeday.Sohesetouttofindthe impossibleandhefoundit.Wemaynotfeeluptocomparingourselvestothe Buddha,buttherearelotsofnoblediscipleswhomusthavefeltatsomepoint thattruehappinessmustbeanimpossibility,thatforthemtochangemustbean impossiblething.Butthenonedaytheydecidedtodotheimpossible.Thatshow theyendedupbeingmembersofthenobleSangha.Thepointbeing,ofcourse, thatwhatwethinkisimpossibleisnotnecessarilyimpossible.Wevejust allowedourselvestobelimited.

64 WhenIfirstordained,Ifoundthatthescariestpartofbeingordainedwas thatsomuchmorewasdemandedofme.Whenyouliveinnormalsociety, peoplesexpectations,peoplesstandards,arenotallthathigh.Itsnotallthat difficulttoliveuptothem.Butsuddenlywhentheresthepossibilityofworking fortheDeathless,itseemsoverwhelming.Therespartofthemindthatwantsto runbacktotheshelterofwhatseemseasiertohandle.Butofcoursewhatseasier tohandlealsobringsonmoresuffering. AstheBuddhasaid,Laylifeishard.Lifeasarenunciateishard.Butat leastlifeasarenunciatetakesyousomeplacereallyworthgoingto.Whenyou finallymakeupyourmindthatyourereallygoingtotrainyourself,itmakes thatgoallessofanimpossibility. Sotrytoovercomethatbarrierinyourmindthatdeepdownsomeplacesays, Icantdothis.Questionit.Whywouldyouwanttobelievethat?Whoinyour mindissayingthat?Itsthepartofthemindthatdoesntwanttomakeaneffort. Doyouwanttoidentifywiththatpartofthemind?Youcanifyouwantto,but youdonthaveto.Youhavetheopportunityofidentifyingwithbettervoicesin themind.Itsyourchoice.Nomatterhowimpossibleitmayseem,itisyour choice.

65

ContentmentinthePractice
July,2001 Everytimeyousitdowntoworkwiththebreath,rememberthestoryofthe foolish,inexperiencedcow.Thecowisinanicemeadowonthehillside,has plentyofgreengrassandwater,butseesanothermeadowoveronanother hillsideandstartswondering,Whatsthegrasslikeoverthere?Whatsthe waterlikeoverthere?Andsobecauseshesafoolish,inexperiencedcow,she setsout.Shedoesntknowhowtogodownthehillside,crossovertheravineand gouptheotherhillside,soshegetslostinbetween.Shedoesntgettotheother hillsideandcantgetbacktowheresheoriginallywas. Thisstandsforthemindthat,onceitgetsintoastateofconcentration, wonderswheretogonexttogetsomethingbetter.Thetrickistolearnhowto stayinyourmeadow,sothegrasshasachancetogrow,soyouhaveachanceto enjoythewaterrightwhereyoualreadyare.Andtheplacewhereyouarewill developintodeeperanddeeperstatesofconcentration.Thisiswhyitsso importantthatbeforeyoustartworkingwiththebreathhereorthere,adjusting ithereorthere,youfindatleastsomespotwhereitscomfortableandfocuson that. Tomakeanothercomparison,itslikestartingafireonawindyday.You haveyourtinylittleflame,soyoucupitinyourhandsandmakesurethatit doesntgetblownout.Atthesametime,youdontcutofftheoxygen.Youcupit inyourhandsjustright,keepingthatonelittleflamegoing,andafterawhileit willcatch.Thenitwillspreadthroughoutallthetimberyouvepiledup.Butits importantthatyougetthatfirstlittleflamegoing. Thesamewiththebreath:Findatleastonelittlespotandstayrighttherefor awhile.Itdoesnthavetobeabigspot,justasmallspot.Andcontentyourself withthatsmallspotforthetimebeing.Allowittobecomfortable.Afterawhile itwillcatch.Thenyoucanstartspreadingthatsenseofcomfortthroughoutthe bodybecauseyoureworkingfromapositionofstrength.Youreworkingfroma positionofcomfort,notapositionofdesperationoranxietyorrestlessness, thinkingthatthishastobelikethat,orthathastobelikethis.Justcontent yourselfwithwhatyouvegotandallowittogrow.Contentyourselfatfirstwith thesmallthings,andultimately,withpractice,theyllgrowintoagreaterand greatersenseofwellbeing. Rememberthatthewordjhanacomesfromtheverbjhayati,orburning.This verbisntusedtodescribejustanykindofburning;itsusedtodescribethe burningofanoillamp.Whenanoillampburns,theflameissteady.Itmaynot beabigflame,butitssteadinessiswhathelpsitilluminatetheroom.Youcan readbyit.Ifitwereaflickeringflame,youcouldntreadbyit,nomatterhow brightitwas,fortheshadowswouldbejumpingallovertheplace.Butthe

66 steadinessoftheoillampflameiswhatenablesyoutoreadeveninanotherwise darkroom. Itsthesamewiththestateofyourconcentration.Youstaysteadilywithone spot.Thesteadiness,theconsistencyofyourgazeiswhatallowsthisonespotto becomereallycomfortable.Inthebeginningitmaynotbeallthatcomfortable, justanokayspotsomeplaceinthebody.Thebreathfeelsokaycomingin,feels okaycomingout.Nobigdeal,nothingspecial.Butyoufind,ifyouallow yourselftosettleintoit,thatitsolvesanbasicprobleminthemind:the underlyingtensionwhereitsreadytojumpatamomentsnotice,likeacat settledinonespotbutcoiledupreadytospring.Ifyoucouldtakeapictureof themind,thatswhatitwouldlooklike:acatcoiledreadytospring.Whenit landsonanobject,partofitisreadytospringawayfromthatobjectassoonasit doesntliketheobject,assoonastheobjectturnsintosomethingunpleasant, becausethatsthewayitsbeendealingwithobjectsallalong. Buthereyouallowittosettleintoonelittlespotandletthatsenseoftension inthemindmeltaway.Youmeltintotheobjectofyourconcentrationandthen letthatmeltingsensationspreadintothebody,allthewaydowntoyourfingers andtoes.Thiswaythemeditationgoesalotbetterthanifyoureconstantly fightingandfiguringthingsouttoomuch.Youvegottolearnhowtoapplyjust therightamountofpressure,justtherightamountofpushing,nottoomuch,not toolittle.Themoresensitiveyouareinyourmeditation,thebetteritgoes. Soyouvegotameadowsomeplaceinyourbody.Itmaynotbeabigone,but itsthere.Youdontsitaroundworryingaboutwherethenextmeadowsgoing tobeorwhatothermeadowsyouhavearoundyou.Juststayrightwhereyouare andthegrasswillgrow.Thewaterwillflow.Andyoufindthattheplacewhere youarestartstodevelop.Thatsthekindofconcentrationyoucanreallylive with. Inotherwords,itsthekindofconcentrationyoucanpickupandtakewith youwhereveryougo,notwhereyouprefashionthingstoomuchand preconceivethingstoomuchandhavetodothisandhavetodothatandadjust thisandadjustthatanditallbecomesverytheoretical.Justaninnersenseof allowingittofeeljustright,righthere,tofeelgoodrighthere,andwhereveryou go,yourestillwithrighthere.Youcanidentifywherethatgoodfeelingisand carryitwithyouwhereveryougo.Thatsthekindofconcentrationthatgrows. Itsthekindofconcentrationthatseepsintoyourlifeandbeginstomakea differenceinhowyouthink,howyouact,andhowyouspeak,becauseitsthere allthetime.Itdoesntrequiretoomuchfashioning.Itmayrequirealittlebitof lookingafter,butnotbasedonwhatyouvereadinbooks.Itsjustasenseof wellbeingrighthere.Youvegotyourlittlespotandyoutakeitwithyou. AjaanFuangoncesaidthatmindfulnessandconcentrationarelittletiny thingsbutyouvegottokeepatthemallthetime.Thestatementsoundedbetter inThaibecauseitwasapun.Theresthewordnit,whichmeanslittle,buttheres alsothewordnitspelleddifferentlybutpronouncedthesamewaywhich

67 meansconstantly.Soconcentrationisalittletinythingthatyoudoconstantly. Whenitcomesfromthisbeginningsenseofwellbeing,itsalotmorestable.You canmaintainitalotlonger.Thesenseofwellbeingbeginstoglowthroughout thebodyandthemindwhenyouallowittohappen,whenyouallowthegrassto growandthewatertoflow.Or,intermsoftheimageoftheflame,whenyou giveitenoughspaceandprotectiontoallowittocatchhold. InoneofAjaanLeestalkshesaysthatbigthingshavetostartfromlittle things.Sometimesyouhavetocontentyourselfwithjustalittlebitof concentration,alittlecomfortablespot,butyoustickwithitconstantly.You plantonebananatree,andafterawhileitwillgrowandprovideyouwiththe seedstoplantmorebananatrees.Soyoutaketheseedsoutofthebananain Thailandtheyhavebananaswithseedsyouplantthem,andafterawhile youvegotawholebananaorchard.Orevenbetter,mangoes:Youvegotone treethatyoutakereallygoodcareof.Youdontyetworryaboutplantingtherest ofyourland.Youvegotyouronetreeandafterawhileitgivesmangoes,andbit bybityoucanplantawholeorchardwiththeseedsyougotfromthefruitofthe onetree.Atthesametime,yougettoeatthefleshofthemangoes.Youcanenjoy yourself.Afterall,thisisapartofthepath,thepartwheretheBuddhaexplicitly mentionsrapture,pleasure,andeaseasfactorsofthepath.Ifyoudonthavethat senseofwellbeing,thepracticegetsverydry. Asyoureplantingthemangoesandeatingtheirflesh,youfindthatthepath becomesareallyniceplacetobe,agoodpathtofollownotonlybecauseyou knowitsgoingtotakeyoutoagoodplace,butalsobecauseitsagoodpathto beonwhileyourethere.Yourenotgoingthroughthedesert.Youregoing throughorchardsandlushcountryside.Ifyoulearntorecognizewhichplants arefoodandwhichonesaremedicineforwhichdisease,theresplentytokeep youhealthyandenergizedallalongtheway.

68

Patience
November,2002 Wereanimpatientsociety.Everythinghastobedonefast,theresultshaveto comefast,orelseweloseinterestquickly.Itsbecauseweresoimpatientthatwe dontunderstandwhatpatienceisallabout.Whenweretoldtobepatient,many timeswethinkitsasignthatweshouldntcareabouttheresults,thatwedont havetobesocommittedtothepractice,thatwecanletthingstaketheircourse whenevertheywantto.Wethinkthatpatiencemeansalackofresolution,alack ofdedication,thatyoureacarefreeandindifferentaboutwhenthingsaregoing tocometogether,whentheresultsaregoingtoshow. Thatsnotwhatpatiencemeans.Patiencemeansstickingwiththecausesof yourpractice,nomatterhowlongittakestogettheresults.Inotherwords, youreresoluteindoingthepractice,youstickwithit,youstaywithit,slowand steady. Khanti,thePaliwordweoftentranslateaspatience,alsomeansendurance.It meansthatyoustickwiththingsevenwhentheytakealongtimetoshow results.Youdontgetfrustrated.Youremindyourself:Thisapaththattakes time.Afterall,wereunlearningalotofhabitsthatwevebeenindulgingforwho knowshowlong.Soitonlystandstoreasonthatitsgoingtotaketimeto unlearnthosehabits.Theonlywaytounlearnthemistoactuallystickwiththe practice,toberesoluteinwhatyouredoing.Thisfirmresolutioniswhatsgoing tomakethedifference. AjaanThatetalksaboutbeingpatientlikefarmers.Thoseofyouwhove neverlivedonafarm,evenyouknowthatfarmersdonthaveaneasylife.They workhard,especiallyinThailand,wheretheydonthavealotoflaborsaving devices.Whenthetimecomestodowhatneedstobedone,theyhavetodoit quickly.Inotherwords,whenthericegrainsareready,youhavetoharvestthem quicklybeforethemicegettothem.Youhavetotakecareofthemquickly, winnowthericequicklybeforeanylateseasonraincomestospoilit.Soitsnota matterofbeingsloworcasual,thispatienceofafarmer.Thepatienceofafarmer isthesortthatknowsyoucantplantthericetodayandexpecttohavethegrains ripenedtomorrow.Itsgoingtotaketime,andduringthattimeitsgoingto requirework. Fortunatelyforfarmers,theyhaveexperience.Theyknowfromprevious yearshowlongittakes.We,however,donthavethatkindofexperience.Were workingonsomethingnew,developingnewhabitsinthemind.Sometimeswe readthepassagesintheSatipatthanaSuttaabouthowyoucangainAwakening insevendaysifyourereallydedicated,andwecomeawaywithunrealistic ideasabouthowquicklyweshouldseeresultsinordertodeemourpractice successful.Thisisnottosaythatitsnotpossible,butjustthatmostofthepeople

69 whocouldgetresultsinsevendayshavealreadygottenresultsandgoneto nibbana.Thatleavestherestofusheremuddlingalongwhichdoesntmean weshouldbeanylessdedicatedinourpractice.Weshouldjustrealizethatits goingtotaketime. Goodthingsalwaystaketime.Thetreeswiththemostsolidheartwoodare theonesthattakethelongesttogrow.Sowedothepractice,focusingonwhat weredoing,ratherthangettingintoaninternaldialogueaboutwhentheresults aregoingtocome,whattheyregoingtobelike,andhowwecanspeedupthe practice.Manytimesoureffortstospeedthingsupactuallygetintheway.Our practiceisprettysimple.Staywiththebreath,allowthemindtosettleinwiththe breath,befriendswiththebreath.Allowthebreathtoopenupandgetmoreand moregentle,moreandmoreporous,soyourawarenesscanseepintothebreath. Thatsallyouhavetodo. Ofcourse,wewanttoaddthingsontopofthattomaketheresultscome faster,butthethingsweaddontopgetintheway.Sotrytokeepthingssimple. Juststaywiththebreath.Ifthemindisgoingtogetintoanydialogue,engagein adialogueabouthowthebreathfeelsrightnow,remindingyourselftostaywith breath,catchingthemindwhenitsgoingtoslipoff.Theresalotofworktodo, evenwhenyoutrytokeepitsimple,justkeepingthemindwiththebreath.As forwhethertheresultsarecomingasquicklyasyoudlikeor,whentheycome, whethertheyregoingtostayaslongasyoudlike:Thatsgoingtodependon whatyouredoingrightherewiththebreath.Ourdesiretohavetheresults come,ourdesiretohavethemstay,isnotgoingtokeepthemhere.Theactual doingofthepracticeiswhatwillmakethedifference. TheresapassageinthetextswheretheBuddhatalksaboutahenincubating hereggs.Whetherornotthehenhasadesirefortheeggstohatch,theyregoing todevelop.Whetherornotshehasalittledialogueabouthowquicklyshewants themtocome,andwhyarenttheycominganyfasterthanthis,allthoselittle questionsthatsheprobablydoesnthavethebraintoask.Ourproblemisthat wedohavebrainsthataskthosequestionsandtheygetintheway.Ifyoure goingtoaskquestions,askquestionsaboutwhatyouredoingrightnow.Isthat youwanderingoff?Whereareyougoing?Areyoulookingfortrouble?Orare youstayingrighthere?Thatsallyouhavetoask.Justbereallyconsistentand resoluteinstickingwithwhatyouknowyouhavetodo. Ifyoufindyourselfflagging,learnhowtogiveyourselfpeptalks, encouragingyourselfalongtheway.Dowhatyoucantokeepthemindright hereasconsistentlyandsteadilyaspossible.Consistencyiswhatbuildsup momentum.Althoughwedlikemomentumtobuildupfast,sometimesour mindsareprettymassive,andthemassivemindsaretheonesthattaketimeto accelerate.Sotrytostreamlinethingsasmuchasyoucan.Stayfocused.Stay resoluteinwhatyouredoing. Asfortheresults,thatswhatyourepatientabout.Dontallowyourselftobe patientortolerantaboutvagrantthoughtsthatwillpullyouawayfromthe

70 breath.Patiencerelatestotheprocessofcausalityinthesensethatyoucantpush theresultstoappearunlessthecausesareright.Sometimesthecausestakea whiletocometogether.Butyoucanrestassuredthatwhentheydotheyllbring theresults,withoutyourhavingtoconcoctalotofpreconceivednotionsabout them. Whentheydocome,dontabandonthecauses.Whenthemindfinallydoes getasensethatitssettlingin,feelingcomfortable,dontleavethebreathtofocus onthecomfort.Thecomfortsthere,youcanthinkofitspreadingthroughthe body,butspreaditthroughthebodybymeansofthebreath.Ifyouabandonthe breath,itslikelettingthefoundationofahouserotaway.Youlikethehouse,its acomfortableplace,butifyoudontlookafterthefoundationyoullsoonhave noplacetostay. Sothefocusshouldalwaysbeonthecauses,andyoushouldapplyyourself tothecauseswithasmuchcommitmentandresolutionasyoucanmuster.Letgo ofyourthoughtsabouthowlongyouvebeenpracticing,whattheresultsusedto beinthepast.Focusonwhatyouredoing,totallyonwhatyouredoing,right now.

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TrainingtheWholeMind
June,2001 Whenwetrainthemind,itsnotjustaquestionofusingameditation techniquetobludgeonthemindintothepresentmoment.Ifthatsourapproach, themindisgoingtostartrebelling,findingwaysofslippingaroundour defenses,becausetherearetimeswhenthemeditationtechniqueisrightforthe situationandtimeswhenitisnt.Thetimeswhenitisnt:Thatswhenthemindis goingtorebelifyousinglemindedlyusejustthatonetechniqueanddonthave othertechniquesorapproachesupyoursleeveaswell. Meditationisnotjustaquestionoftechnique.Intrainingthemind,youhave toremembertheresawholecommitteeinthere.Inthepastthecommitteehas haditsbalanceofpower,itslikesanddislikes,andthepoliticsamongthe variousvoicesinyourmind.Eachofthemhasdifferenttricksforpushingits agendaontherest.Sojustasthesedefilementshavelotsoftricksuptheir sleeves,youasameditatorneedtohavelotsoftricksupyoursleeve,too. Onereallybasictrickisforwhenthemindsays,Ivegottodothis.Iwantto dothat.Idontwanttomeditate.Youvegottoask,Wellwhy?Andplaykind ofdumb,sothatthemindreallyhastoexplainitself.Itslikelessonnumberone inanyjournalismclass:Ifyoureallywanttogetagoodinterviewoutofpeople, youhavetoplaydumb,askstupidquestions,sothattheythinktheyhaveto explainthingstoyouverycarefully.Andoftentimestheyrevealallkindsof thingstheywouldnthaveotherwise. Itsthesamewithyourownmind.Whengreed,anger,anddelusioncome intothemind,theyusuallybargeinwithalotofforceandexpecttopushyou rightover.Soonethingyouhavetodoistoask,Well,why?Whyshouldwe followthat?Whyshouldwewantinstantgratification?Andtherewillbeanof coursenesstotheiranswerthefirsttimearound.Ofcourseyouwantitthis way.Ofcourseyouwantitthatway.Wellwhy?Ifyourepersistentinbeing blockheadedlikethis,allthedefilementswillstartrevealingthemselves.Youll seehowshabbytheyare.Youllbeabletogetaroundthemmoreeasily. Itsliketrainingalittlechild.Sometimesyouhavetobestrictwiththechild, othertimesyouhavetoofferrewards,patientlyexplainthings.Othertimesyou havetomakeuplittlegames.Inotherwords,youhavetouseyourfull psychologywiththemind.Butthistimearoundyourenotusingitforthe purposeofdeception,whichiswhatthemindordinarilydoeswithitself.Youre usingitforthepurposeoftruthandhonesty,forwhatsreallyinyourownbest interest. Whatdoesthewanderingminddoforyou?Itgivesalittlebitofinstant gratificationandthenthatgratificationgoes,withnothinglefttoshowforitself. Ifyoukeepallowingthistohappen,whereareyougoingtopickuptheskills

72 youllreallyneedwhenaging,illness,anddeathhitwithfullforce?Thisiswhy theBuddhastressedtheprincipleofheedfulnessallthetime.Wecantjustspend ourtimesniffingtheflowersandlookingatthesky.Theresworktobedone. Whenthemindisuntrained,itcausesusalotofunhappiness.Ifthemindiswell trained,ifitsmoretractable,itcanbringalotofhappinessourway. Inorderforthattohappen,youhavetolearnhowtopsycheyourselfintothe moodtomeditate.Onceitstartsmeditatingandbeginstoseetheresults,itgets morewillingandtractablemostofthetime.Thentherearetimesitstarts rebellingalloveragain,totallyirrationally.Soyouvegottositdownwithit again,workthingsthroughwithitagain,toseeexactlywhatissuegotcovered upthelasttimearoundandisonlynowgettingexposed. Thisisoneofthewaysinwhichyoulearnalotaboutyourdefilements.Its notthatyouhavetowaitforatotallysolidconcentrationbeforeyoucanseethe defilementsclearly.Alotoflearningaboutthedefilementsliesinlearninghow tostrugglewiththemasyoubringthemindtostillness.Youbegintosee:Oh, thisishowgreedworks,thisishowaversionworks,thisishowIvefallenfor thisstuffbeforeinthepast.Well,thistimearoundImnotgoingtofall. Sometimesitslikeabattle.Othertimesitsmoreaquestionoflearninghow toworktogetherinawaythatsforyourownbestinterests:howtobea mediator,anegotiator,orapatientteacher.Youvegottohavelotsofwaysof relatingtothedifferentelementsinyourmind.Thetimeswhenyoucanwinthe defilementsovertoyourside:Thatswhenitsbest.Yourdesireturnsintoa desiretopractice.Yourhatredturnsintoahatredofthedefilements.Youlearn howtousetheenergyofthesethingsforyourowntruebenefit. Thatswhenyoucanbesaidtobeadiscerningmediator.Youcantgain insightsimplybyfollowingtherules.Somebodysays,Forinsightyouneedto doone,two,three,four,five,six,andseven.Soyoudoone,two,three,four,five, six,sevenwithoutanythinking,withoutanyreflectiononwhatyouredoing, andyetthatdoesntgiveyouanytrueinsights.Itgivesyoupreprogrammed insightssometimes,buttheactualstartlingnewunderstandingsthatcancome throughthemeditationdonthappenbecauseyouretoobusyfollowingthe directions. Thedirectionsarethereforyoutoapplytothemindandthentoobserve,to lookatwhathappens,toreflectonwhathappens,tomakeadjustments.Make themeditationyourownandnotjustsomebodyelsesbulldozerrunning throughyourhead.Afterall,thebigissueishowyourelatetoyourself,howyou relatetothebody,howyourelatetofeelings,perceptions,thoughtfabrications, andconsciousness.Thatstheareawhereyourecausingyourselfsuffering,so thatstheareawhereyouvegottogainsensitivityandinsight.Nobodyelsecan getintoyourheadandstraightenthesethingsoutforyou.Youusethe techniquesofmeditationtoseewhattheyrevealaboutthemind.Thenyoubuild onthoselessonssothatthemeditationbecomesyourown.

73 InThai,theyhaveawordforpracticepatibatwhichalsomeanslooking aftersomeone,toattendtosomeonesneeds.InthepracticeoftheDhamma yourelookingafteryourownmind,attendingtoyourownmindsneeds.Its notsomuchthatyourelearningaboutBuddhism.Yourelearningaboutyour ownmind,lookingafteryourownmind.Thatswhenthemeditationreallystarts showingitsvalue.Itrearrangesallthepowerbalancesinthemindsothattruth beginstotakeover,wisdombeginstotakeover,discernmentbeginstotake charge.Thesebecomethebigpowersinyourmind,theonesinchargeofany discussion. Whenthatsthekindofmindyouhave,itsareallygoodmindtolivein.We liveinphysicalplacesonlyforacertainamountoftimebutinourownmindsall thetime.Trytomakethemindagoodplacetolivesothat,nomatterwhatelse happensoutside,atleastthemindisonpropertermswithitself,notfighting itself,notdoingstupidthingsthatarentinitsownbestinterest.Getsothatit reallydoesknowhowtodealwiththeaggregatesastheyarise,howtodealwith painsoitdoesntturnitintosuffering,howtodealwithpleasuresoitdoesnt turnitintosuffering.Getsothattheminddevelopsabasicintelligenceinsorting itselfout,managingitself,sothatallyourmentalpowerssuddenlybecome powersyoucantrulyputtogooduse. Asweweresayingtoday,therearetimeswhen,foryourowngood,you dontwanttobefocusedonthebreath.Therearethingsyouhavetothinkabout, thingsyouvegottoplanfor,thingsyouhavetoponder,whereyoutakeallthe powersofthemindyouvetrainedinconcentrationandputthemtootheruses. Thatwaythebenefitsoftheconcentrationpermeateyourwholelife,everything youdo. Soitsanallaroundtraining,notjustlearningtorelatetothebreath,but learninghowtorelatetoeverythingelsegoingoninthemindaswell,sothat skillfulthoughtstakeoverandunskillfulthoughtsgetleftbehind.Thatswhen youcansaythatthemeditationisawholemindprocess.Thatswhenitgives resultspenetratingthroughoutyourwholelife.Thecommitteememberslearn howtolivetogether.Theunskillfulonesgetoutvoted.Theoneswhoshouldbe incharge,theskillfulqualities,takeoverandruntheshowinsuchawaythat nobodysuffers.

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TheGrainoftheWood
November9,1996 TheBuddhateachesthattherearetwosidestothepathofpractice:thesideof developingandthesideoflettinggo.Anditsimportantthatyouseethepractice inbothperspectives,thatyourpracticecontainsbothsides.Ifyoupracticejust lettinggo,youllthrowawaythebabywiththebathwater.Everythinggoodwill getthrownoutbecauseyouletgoofeverythingandleavenothingleft.Onthe otherhand,ifyoursisjustapracticeofdevelopingandworkinganddoing,you missthethingsthathappenontheirown,thathappenwhenyoudoletgo. Soanimportantpartofthepracticeisrealizingwhichiswhich.Thisiswhat discernmentisallabout,realizingwhichqualitiesinthemindareskillful,the onesthatareyourfriends,andwhichqualitiesareunskillful,theonesthatare yourenemies.Theonesthatareyourfriendsarethosethathelpmakeyour knowledgeclearer,makeyouseethingsmoreclearlythingslikemindfulness, concentration,anddiscernment,togetherwiththequalitiestheydependon: virtue,morality,persistence.Thesearethegoodguysinthemind.Thesearethe onesyouhavetonurture,theonesyouhavetoworkat.Ifyoudontworkat them,theywontcomeontheirown. Somepeoplethinkthatpracticeissimplyamatteroflettingthemindgowith itsownflow,buttheflowofthemindtendstoflowdown,justaswaterflows downhill,whichiswhythemindneedstobetrained.Intrainingthemind,were notcreatingtheunconditionedorunfabricatedinthemind.Itsmorelike polishingwood.Thegrainisalreadythereinthewoodbut,unlessyoupolishit, itdoesntshimmer,itdoesntshine.Ifyouwanttoseethebeautyofthegrain, youhavetopolishit,toworkatit.Youdontcreatethegrain,butthepolishingis whatbringsoutthegrainalreadythere.Ifyoudontpolishit,itdoesnthavethe sameshimmer,itdoesnthavethesamebeautyasitdoeswhenitspolished. SopracticingtheBuddhaspathislikepolishingawayatthemindtosee whatsofrealvaluetherewithinthemind.Thatswhatthemindfulness,the persistence,theardency,andalltheothertermstheBuddhausesthatsuggest effortandexertion:Thatswhattheyrefor.Thisiswhywehaverulesinthe practice:rulesintermsoftheprecepts,rulesforthemonkstofollow.They provideworkforthemind,anditsgoodwork.Theyrenotjustmakework rules.Whenyouholdbytherules,whenyouholdbytheprecepts,theresultis thatyoulearnanawfullotaboutthemindatthesametimeyouremakinglifea loteasierforyourselfandthepeoplearoundyou.Inthebeginningitmayseem hardertohavetherulestofollow,butonceyoustartlivingbythem,theyopen upallkindsofpossibilitiesthatwerenttherebeforewheneverythingwas confinedbytheriverbanksofyouroldhabits,goingalongwiththeflow.

75 Thisiswhytherehastobeeffort.Thisiswhytherehastobeworkinthe practice.AstheBuddhasaid,rightefforthasfoursides.Abandoningisonlyone ofthefour.Theresalsopreventingpreventingunskillfulthingsfromarising. Whenunskillfulthingshavearisen,thosearethethingsyouabandon.Then therestheefforttogiverisetoskillfulqualities,andtheefforttomaintainthem oncetheyarethere.Youdeveloptheseskillfulqualitiesandthenyoukeepthem goingsothattheydeveloptohigherandhigherlevels.Sosometimes,when yourereflectingonyourpractice,itsusefultofocusonexactlywhatyoure developingherethegoodqualitieslikemindfulnessandalertness.Atother timesitshelpfultofocusonthethingsyouhavetoletgoof,thethingsyouhave toworkatpreventing. Youseerighteffortveryeasilywhendoingconcentrationpracticebecause youhavetofocusonwhereyouwantthemindtobe,tobeawareofwhereyou dontwantittobe,andalsotobereadytofightoffanythingthatsgoingtocome intodisturbyourstillnessofmind.Whenyourefocusingonyourmeditation topic,youpickitupandsaythatthisiswhatyouregoingtofocusonforthe nexthour.Bydoingthisyouregivingrisetoskillfulqualities.Andthenyoutry tokeepyourfocusthere.Youvegottokeepremindingyourselfthatthisiswhat youredoinghere.Yourenotjustsitting;youresittingheretodevelopthemind. Soyoukeepyourmindonthetopicyouvechosen,likethebreath,andthenyou workatbringingthemindbackwheneveritslipsoff,bringingithere,keepingit here,atthesametimebeingawarethatanymomentitcanslipoffagain.This secondlevelofawarenessiswhatkeepsyoufromdriftingoffobliviouslyand thencomingbacktothesurfacefiveminuteslater,suddenlyrealizingthatyou wereoffwhoknowswhereinthemeantime.Ifyourepreparedforthefactthat themindcanleaveatanypoint,thenyoucanwatchforit.Inotherwords,youre watchingboththebreathandthemind,lookingforthefirstsignthatitsgoingto leapoffontosomethingelse.Thisisaheightenedlevelofawarenessthatallows youtoseethesubtlestirringsinthemind. Themindisoftenlikeaninchwormstandingattheedgeofaleaf.Even thoughtheinchwormsbackfeetmaystillbeonthisleaf,itsfrontfeetareupin theair,swayingaround,searchingaroundforanotherleaftolandon.Assoonas thatotherleafcomes,boomph,itsoff.Andsoitiswiththemind.Ifyourenot awareofthefactthatitsgettingreadytoleavethebreath,itcomesasareal surprisewhenyourealizethatyouveslippedoffsomeplaceelse.Butwhenyou haveasenseofwhenthemindisbeginningtogetalittlebitantsyandreadyto move,youcandosomethingaboutit. Inotherwords,youcantbecomplacentinthepractice.Evenifthemind seemstobestayingwiththebreath,sometimesitsreadytomoveon,andyouve gottohavethatsecondlevelofawarenessgoingaswellsothatyoucanbeaware bothofthebreathandofthemindtogethersothatyouhaveasenseofwhen themindissnugwithitsobjectandwhenitsbeginningtogetalittlebitloose.If youseeitlooseningitsgrip,dowhatyoucantomakeitmoresnug.Isthebreath

76 uncomfortable?Coulditbemorecomfortable?Coulditbefiner?Coulditbe longer,shorter,whatever?Exploreit.Themindistellingyouonitsownthatit isnthappythereanymore.Itwantstomove. Solookatthequalityofthebreathandthenturnaroundandlookatthe qualityofthemindthissenseofboredom,thiswantingtomove.Whats actuallycausingit?Sometimesitcomesfromthebreath,andsometimesitsjusta traitthatarisesinthemind,atraitthatstirsuptrouble.Trytobesensitiveto whatsgoingon,toseewhethertheproblemiscomingfromthemindorthe objectthemindisfocusedon.Ifitscomingfromasimplesenseofboredom thatsmovedin,lettheboredommoveon.Youdonthavetolatchontoit.You donthavetoidentifywithit,sayingthatitsyourboredom.Assoonasyou identifywiththeboredom,themindhasleftthebreathandisontheboredom. Eventhoughthebreathmaybethereinthebackground,theboredomhascome intotheforefront.Yourinchwormhasmovedofftotheotherleaf. Soifthemindisgettingantsyandsaying,Well,move.Findsomething new,refuseforawhileandseewhathappens.Whatisthestrengthlyingbehind thatneedtomove?Whatsgivingitpower?Sometimesyoullfindthatits actuallyaphysicalsensationsomeplaceinthebodythatyouveoverlooked,so workonthat.Othertimesitsmoreanattitude,theattitudethatyoupickedup someplacethatsaid,Justsittingherenotthinkingaboutanythingisthemost stupidthingyoucando.Youarentlearninganything,youarentpickingup anythingnew.Yourmindisntbeingexercised.Askyourself,Whereisthat voicecomingfrom?Itscomingfromsomebodywhonevermeditated,who didntunderstandallthegoodthingsthatcomefrombeingstillinthepresent moment. Onlywhenthemindisreallystillrightherecanitbegintoresonatewiththe body.Whentheresaresonancebetweenthebreathandthemind,itgivesriseto amuchgreatersenseofwholenessandoneness.Thisisthepositiveaspectofthe practicethatyouwanttofocuson,becauseifthemindisoneplaceandthebody someplaceelse,theresnoresonance.Itsasiftheyweresingingtwocompletely differenttunes.Butifyougetthemtogether,itslikehavingonechordwithlots ofovertones.Andthenyoucometoappreciatehow,whentheresthissenseof resonancebetweenthebodyandmind,youbegintoopenup.Youbegintosee thingsinthemindandinthebodythatyoudidntseebefore.Itshealingfor boththebodyandthemind.Itsalsoeyeopeninginthesensethatthemore subtlethingsthatweretheresuddenlyappear.Yougainasenseofappreciation forthis,thatthisisaveryimportantthingtodowiththemind.Themindneeds thisforitsownsanity,foritsownhealth. Sowhenthemindstartsgettingantsyandwantstomovearoundandthink aboutthingsandanalyzethings,anditstartstellingyouthatyourestupidtosit hereandnotthink,reminditthatnoteverythinghastobethoughtthrough,not everythinghastobeanalyzed.Somethingshavetobeexperienceddirectly. Whenyouanalyzethings,wheredoestheanalysiscomefrom?Itcomesmostly

77 fromyouroldignorantwaysofthinking.Andwhatweredoingaswegetthe mindtosettledownistoputthosewaysofthinkingandthosewaysofdividing uprealityaside.Forastateofconcentrationyouwanttogetthemindtogether withthebodyandtofosterasenseofoneness,asenseofresonancebetweenthe two. Oncetheyvehadchancetobetogether,thenyoucanbegintoseehowthings begintoseparateoutontheirown.Andthisisatotallydifferentwayof separating.Itsnotthekindofseparatingthatcomesfromordinarythinking.Its actuallyseeingthateventhoughthebodyandmindareresonating,theyaretwo separatethings,liketwotuningforks.Youstrikeonetuningforkandputanother onenexttoit.Thesecondtuningforkpicksuptheresonancefromthefirstone, buttheyretwoseparateforks.Oncethebodyandmindhavehadachanceto resonateforawhile,youbegintoseethattheyaretwoseparatethings.Knowing isdifferentfromtheobjectofknowing.Thebodyistheobject;themindisthe knowing.Andthisway,whentheyseparateout,theydontseparateoutbecause youhavesomepreconceivednotionofhowtheyshouldbe.Youwatchitactually happening.Itsanaturaloccurrence.Itslikethegrainofthewood:Whenyou polishit,thegrainappears,butnotbecauseyoudesignedthegrain.Itsbeen thereinthewoodallalong. Thesamewithyourmeditation:Youresimplygivingyourselfachancereally toseeyourexperienceofbodyandmindforwhatitisinsteadofcominginwith preconceivednotionsabouthowthingsshouldgetdividedup,howthings shouldbeanalyzed.Theresanaturalseparationlinebetweennameandform, bodyandmind.Theycometogether,buttheyreseparatethings.Whenyoulearn howtoallowthemtoseparateout,thatswhenrealdiscernmentcomesin. Thisiswhythediscernmentthatcomeswithconcentrationisaspecialkindof discernment.Itsnotyourordinarymodeofthinking.Itcomesfromgiving thingsachancetosettledown.Likeachemicalmixture:Ifeverythinggetsjostled around,thetwochemicalsarealwaysmixedtogetherandyoucanttellthat therearetwointhere.Thereseemstobejusttheonemixture.Butifyouletthe mixturesitforawhile,thechemicalswillseparate.Thelighteronewillrisetothe top;theheavieronewillsettletothebottom.Youllseeataglancethatthere actuallyaretwoseparatechemicalsthere.Theyseparatethemselvesoutontheir ownbecauseyouvecreatedtheconditionsthatallowthemtoactontheirown. Thesamewiththemind:Alotofthingsbegintoseparateoutontheirownif yousimplygivethemindachancetobestillenoughandyourewatchful enough.Ifyourenotwatchful,thestillnessdriftsoffintodrowsiness.Soyou needthemindfulnesstogetherwiththestillnessforthistohappenproperly. Withthestillness,yourelettinggoofalotofnervousactivity,youreletting goofalotofunskillfulthingsinthemind.Withthemindfulnessyoure developingtheskillfulqualitiesyouneedtoseeclearly.Thisishowtheletting goandtheknowingcometogether.WhentheBuddhadiscussesthefournoble truths,hetalksaboutthedutyappropriatetoeach.Yourdutywithregardto

78 craving,thesecondnobletruth,istoletitgo.Thentheresathirdnobletruth, whichisthecessationofsuffering.Andwhatisthat?Itsthelettinggoofthe cravingatthesametimeyoureawareofwhatshappening.Sothetask appropriatetothecessationofsufferingisadoubleprocess:knowingtogether withthelettinggo,andthismakesallthedifferenceintheworld.Mostofthe timewhenweletgoofcravingwerenotawareofwhatshappening,soits nothingspecial.Itsjusttheordinarywayoflifeaswemovefromonecravingto another.Butwhenthemindhasbeenstillenough,andthemindfulnesswell developedenough,thenwhenthecravinggetsabandonedyoureawareofitas well,andthisopensupsomethingnewinthemind. Thisiswhythefactorsofthenobleeightfoldpathfallintotwotypes:theones thatdevelopandtheonesthatletgo.Theonesthatletgoabandonalltheminds unskillfulactivitiesthatobscureknowledge.Thedevelopingonesaretheones thatenableyoutoseeclearly:rightview,rightmindfulness,rightconcentration. Theyallworkatawareness,sothatyoucanknowclearlywhatsactually happeninginthepresentmoment. Sotherearethesetwosidestothepractice,andyouwanttomakesurethat youreengagedinbothsidesforyourpracticetobecomplete.Itsnotjusta practiceofrelaxingandlettinggo,anditsnotjustapracticeofstayingupall nightandmeditatingtenhoursatastretch,reallypushing,pushing,pushing yourself.Youhavetofindabalancebetweenclearknowingandeffort,abalance betweendevelopingandlettinggo,knowingwhichiswhichandhowtogetthat balancejustright.Thatstheskillofthepractice.Andwhenyouhavebothsides ofthepracticeperfectlybalanced,theycometogetherandarenolongerseparate. Youvegotthemindinaperfectlyclearstatewheretheknowingandtheletting gobecomealmostthesamething. Butthebalancedoesntoccurwithoutpractice.Youmayask,Whydowe keeppracticing?Whendowegettoperform?Well,werepracticingforthetime whenultimatelywecanmasterthesethings.Whenthepracticegetsbalanced, thepathperforms,andthatswhenthingsreallyopenupinthemind.

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AGoodDoseofMedicine
November13,1996 TheBuddhaoftencomparedhimselftoadoctor,healingthediseasesofthe heartsandmindsofhislisteners.Now,wenormallythinkaboutheartdiseaseas meaninghardeningofthearteries,andmentaldiseaseasinsanity,buthesaidthe realdiseasesoftheheart,therealdiseasesofthemind,arethree:passion, aversion,anddelusion.Theyburnlikeafeverintheheart,afeverinthebody. Andthereasonhetaughtaboutthesediseasesisbecausethereisawaytogain releasefromthem.Iftheywereimpossibletocure,hewouldnthavebotheredto teach.Sowehavetolearntotakehisteachingastreatmentforourownhearts, ourownminds.Thatswhenwereusingthemproperly. Treatingthesekindsofdiseasesisinsomewaysimilartotreatingordinary mentaldiseases,ordinarybodilydiseases.Andinsomewaysitsdifferent. Withordinarydiseases,thedoctorcangiveyoumedicine,youtakethe medicine,andthatsit.WiththeBuddhastreatment,though,youaretheone whoadministersthecure.YousimplylearnaboutthecurefromtheBuddha.As hesays,hesimplypointsouttheway,butyouretheonewhoactuallyhasto carrythroughandadministerthetreatmenttoyourself.Soyoureboththedoctor andthepatientyoureastudentdoctor.Yourelearningthetreatment. Sometimesthesymptomsofthediseasedontquitematchwhatsprintedinthe texts,dontquitesoundlikethethingsyouveheardpeoplesay:Thatswhyyou needanexperienceddoctortohelpyoualong.Butalsoyouneedyourown ingenuitybecausetherearetimes,asinahospital,whentheexperienceddoctor isntoncall.Sometimesareallydrasticcasecomesinandtheresnobodybut internsaround.Theinternshavetofigureoutwhattodoontheirown.Soitsnot simplyamatteroffollowingwhatsinthebooks.Youalsohavetolearnhowto applytheteachingstoallkindsofunexpectedsituations,tolearnwhich teachingsarethebasicprinciplesandwhicharesecondarydetails. Thesimilaritybetweenthetwotypesofdiseasesouterdiseasesandinner diseasesisthatinbothcasestherearetwokindsofsourcesforthedisease: innerandouter.Somebodilydiseasesyoucanblameongerms.Theycomein fromtheoutsideandtheywreakalotofhavocinthebody.Butonamorebasic levelthequestionis,Whydothegermstakeover?becausesometimesyou haveenoughresistancetofightthemoffandsometimesyoudont.Inthissense thebasiccausecomesfrominside,fromyourinnerlackofresistance. Thesameholdstruewiththemind.Manytimesweblameproblemswithin themindonthingsfromoutsidewhatotherpeopledo,whatotherpeoplesay, thegeneralatmospherearoundus,thevalueswegrewupwith,thethingswe learnedaschildren.Andthesedoplayarole,butthemostimportantproblemis whatcomesfromthemind.Whyisitsusceptibletothoseinfluences?Afterall,

80 youfindsomepeoplestayinginacertainenvironmentandtheyreperfectly okay,theypickupnonegativeinfluences,whileotherpeoplegetintothesame environmentandcomeoutallwarped.Twokidsgrowingupinthesamefamily hearthesamelessonsfromtheirparentsbuttakeawaytotallydifferent messages.Thisisbecauseofwhatyoubringtolifewhenyoucome,whatweak pointsandwhatstrongpointsarealreadythereinthemind. Soyouhavetofocusinonthemindasthemainproblem.Youcantgo blamingthingsoutside.Ifthemindhadreallygoodpowersofresistance,areally goodimmunesystem,nothingcouldstirittopassion,nothingcouldstiritto anger,nothingcouldstirittodelusion.Fortunately,youcantrainthemind developthatimmunity.Thatsthekindofmindyouwanttodevelop.Thatsthe mindthattheBuddhadefinesashealth.Thisiswhythetrainingfocusesinside, lookingatyourownmindandseeingwherethingssetitoff.Whengermscome intothemind,whereisyourresistancestrongandwhereisitweak?Whatis yourlineofresistance?Thisiswhatweredevelopinginthemeditation:linesof resistance.Concentration,virtue,generosity:theseareallourfirstlinesof resistanceagainsttheinvadinggerms. Sittingherewithoureyesclosed,insteadoftryingtochangethingsoutside, wechangethingsinside.Somepeoplethinkthatthepracticeissimplyamatter oflearninghowtoaccepteverythingjustasitis.Well,somethingsyoudoaccept andsomeyoudont.Youlearntoacceptthefactthattheoutsideworldisgoing tobethewayitis.Therearealwaysgoingtobeexternalproblems.Andthe phraseoutsideworldheredoesntreferjusttootherpeople.Yourownbodyis partoftheoutsideworldfromthepointofviewoftheDhamma.Andthebody containsaging,illness,anddeath.Thatsthenatureofthebody.Youcantchange that,butwhatyoucanchangeisthemind.Thisiswhereyoucantjustsitaround andbeequanimous,acceptingthemindasitis.Youvegottoacceptthatthe mindhasthepotentialtochange.Soyouvereallygottostiryourselftolookinto themind,toseewhichpotentialsneedtobeweakenedandwhichonesneedto beenhanced. Thisiswhererighteffortcomesinwhenyoulearnhowtodistinguish skillfulandunskillfulstatesinthemind.Theskillfulonesaretheonesthatcan keepupyourresistanceagainstgreed,anger,anddelusion.Theunskillfulones aretheonesthatgivein,theonesthataresusceptibletoinfection.Andbecause delusionispartoftheproblem,thefirstthingyouneedtolearnhowtodoisto distinguishwhichstatesareskillfulandwhichonesarent.Thisiswhyyouneed instructions.Thisiswhyyouneedatechniqueinyourmeditationyouvegota focalpoint,thebreath,asameasuringstickforthemovementsofthemind.You watchthebreathasitscominginandgoingout,andyounoticewhenyouget pulledawayfromit:Thatsagoodmeasureofwhenthemindisbeing influencedbysomething.Ifyoudonthavethiskindoffocus,itshardtotell whenangercomesandwhenitgoes.Theresnothingtomeasureitagainst.Like thecloudsinthesky:Youcanttellhowfasttheyremovingunlessyouvegot

81 somethingstillandsolidonthegroundtouseasyourreferencepointatree,a telephonepole.Ifyoufocusonthatonepoint,thenyoucanseewhetherthe cloudsaremovingnorthorsouth,andhowfasttheyregoinginrelationtothat point. Itsthesamewiththemindonceithasafocalpointlikethebreath:Assoon asyourattentiongetspulledawayfromthebreath,youknowsomethinghas happened.Thenyouchecktoseewhatitis.Inthebeginningyousimplynotice whatitisandrealizingthatifyoufollowthat,youredriftingawayfromwhere youwanttobeyoubringthemindback.Thisisonthebasiclevelofjust gettingthemindtolearnhowtobestillforawhile,howtostickwithyour originalintentiontostaycentered,andhowtosettledown.Butasyourpowers ofconcentration,yourpowersofmindfulnessgetstrongerandstronger,youfind youcanactuallyinvestigatewhatspullingyouawayorwhatwouldhave pulledyouawayifyouhadntcaughtyourselfintime.Thisiswhenyourpowers ofresistancearegettingstronger:whenyoubegintoseeexactlyhowyouget hookedtothatpull. ItsasifyourmindiscoveredwithVelcrohooksandyouinvestigatetosee whatcomesalongandendsupstuckinthem.Actually,thoselittleVelcrohooks arechoices.Theyrenotnecessary.Youdonthavetogetstuckonthings.Thereis actuallyaplaceinthemindwhereyouremakingachoicetolatchon.Onlywhen thingsgetreallystillinthemindandyourawarenessisreallyclearcanyousee thatchoiceasanactthatyoumadethechoicetoloweryourresistanceand latchontothegermswhenyoudidnthaveto.Thatswhereyoucanletgo.One, youseethedrawbacksofthediseasescausedbythegermsand,two,yourealize thatyoudontreallyhavetocomedownwiththosediseases.Theyrenotreally necessary.Whenyoucanidentifytheparticulardiseasepatterns,theywillnever benecessary.Theyseemnecessaryonlywhenyoucantconceiveofanything else.Thingshavetobethatway,orsothemindtellsitself.Ifthemindhadto bethatway,therewouldbenopurposeinmeditating,therewouldbeno purposeintheBuddhasteaching.HecouldhavesataroundundertheBodhi treefortherestofhislifeandjustenjoyedtheblissofAwakening.Herealized, though,thatteachingwouldserveapurpose.Sothatswhatweredoingwere carryingoutthatpurpose,puttinghisteachingsintopracticesowecangainthe resultsthathewantedtoseefromtheeffortheputintohisteaching. Allthiscomesunderrighteffort,realizingwhenyouhaveskillfulstates, realizingwhenyouhaveunskillfulstates,andbeingdeterminedthatoncean unskillfulstatehasarisenyourenotgoingtofeedit,yourenotgoingtofollow alongwithit.Somepeoplehaveproblemswiththis,especiallywiththeissueof strugglingoreffortorhavingagoal.Theproblem,though,doesntliewitheffort orgoalsinandofthemselves.Itlieswithyourattitudetowardthem.Youneedto haveahealthyattitudetowardthisstruggle.Youneedtohaveahealthyattitude towardtheeffort,towardthegoal,becausethegoaliswhatgivesyouadirection

82 inlife.Withoutgoals,lifewouldjustbeflounderingaround,likefishflopping aroundinapuddle. Soyouneedtohaveadirection.Yourealizethatmaybethisisabiggertask thanothertasksyouhavetakenon,soyoudontberateyourselffornotgetting tothegoalimmediatelyornotcatchingonrightaway.Youlearnthrough experiencewhatyourpaceisandyousticktoit.Sometimesyoupushyourselfa littletoohardinordertoknowwhatitmeanstopushyourselftoohard,andthen youletoff.Andyoufindthatyoutendtovacillatebackandforthbetween pushingtoohardandnotpushingenough,butaslongasyouresensitivetothis factyoubegintogetabetterandbettersenseofwhatjustrightis. WhentheBuddhatalksabouttheMiddleWay,itsnotnecessarilywhatour preconceivednotionsoftheMiddleWayare.Youhavetotestthem.Andthe effortrequiredisnotblindeffort.Righteffortinvolvesusingyoureyes:knowing whatsskillfulinthemind,whatsunskillful,beingdeterminedtoletgoof anythingunskillfulthatarisesinthemind,andtryingtopreventmoreunskillful thingsfromarisinginthemind.Atthesametime,youtrytorealizewhenskillful qualitieshaveappeared.Youtrytomaintainthem,developthem,makethem strong. Sotheresboththelettinggoandthedeveloping,andthefunctionof discernmentistotellwhenwhichisappropriate.Youhavetolistenvery carefullytowhatshappeninginthemind,watchthingsinthemind,be observant.Thisiswhyalotofthemeditationinstructionsthrowthingsbackon you,onyourownpowersofobservation,becauseonlybydevelopingthose powerscanyoudevelopthediscernmentyouregoingtoneed.Sometimesinthe Buddhasteachings,itsalmostasifhepurposelyleavesafewblanks,doesnt explaineverything,leavesthingsforyoutofigureoutonyourown,becauseif everythingwerehandedtoyouonaplatterwherewouldyourdiscernmentget engaged?Howwoulditdevelop?Youdbearestaurantcritic,pickyandchoosy aboutwhatsservedtoyou,buttotallyignorantabouthowtofixthefood yourself.SosometimestheBuddhagivestheteachingsasriddles,andyour willingnesstotrytofigurethemout,makemistakes,comebackandtryagain,is whatwillmakeyougrow.Thisisthehealthyattitudetowardrighteffort, realizingthatsometimesitsgoingtotakealotofpersistence,alotofendurance, alotoftenacity. Butnotalways.Therearetimeswhenitgetsveryeasyandenjoyable,and everythingseemstoflow.Soyoulearntoadjustyoureffortsothatitsjustright forwhateverthesituation.Thatswhenrighteffortisreallyright,whenyoustart gettingyourownsenseofhowthingsvaryandhowthingsneedtobeadjusted. Thatswhenthepracticebecomesmoreandmoreyourownpractice,thepractice youvemadeyourown,notjustsomethingthatsomebodyoutsideistellingyou todo.Andthisiswhereyouturnfromastudentdoctorintoanexperienced doctor.

83 Luckilywiththediseasesofthemind,itsnotthecasethatyourpatientsare allgoingtodie.Thisparticularpatient,themind,keepscomingback.Sotheres roomformistakesbutyoucantbetoocomplacent.Afterall,yourethepatient. Youretheonewhosuffersfromthemistakes.Someofthosemistakescanlead youdownapaththatendsupfaraway,anditllbealongtimebeforeyoufind yourwayback.Soagainyouneedanattitudeofbalance:Youdontberate yourselffornotattainingthegoal,butatthesametimeyoudontget complacent. Muchofthepracticeisthisoneissue:figuringoutwherethatbalanceis. Otherpeoplecanhelpgiveyoupointers,butyouyourselfreallyhavetolistento yourownpractice,lookcarefullyattheresultsastheycomebecausethisability toseecauseandeffectinthemindiswhatliesattheessenceofdiscernment,and discernmentiswhatmakesallthedifference.Itstheultimatemedicineinthe Buddhasmedicineboxandyethecantjusthandittoyou.Itslikeanherbal medicinethatyouhavetogrowyourself.Hedescribesitandtellsyouhowto findit,howtogrowit,andthenhowtotakeit. Sogetusedtothisimagethatyoureboththedoctorandthepatient,and learntohaveaverystrongsenseofthedoctorlookingafterthepatient.Dont identifytotallywiththepatientbecauseifyoudoitshardtoseeacure,hardto seeeventhepossibilityofacure.Butifyouhavetheattitudeofthedoctor,there hastobeanotionofwhathealthisandhowtorecognizeillnesswheneverit showsitsface.Atthesametime,youhavetodeveloptheabilitytostepbackand lookatthewholesituationtofigureoutthecure. Heresanotherimage:AnnLanders.PeoplewhowriteletterstoAnnLanders aresothoroughlyimmersedintheirproblemsthattheycantstepback.They havetroubleevenformulatingaletter.ButallAnnLandershastodoisreadthe letteronceitsformulatedandusuallyshecangiveananswerrightoffthebat becauseshesnotimmersedinthesituation.Fromherperspective,theissueis alreadyformulated.Herjobisnotallthathard.Youllfindyourownpractice getsaloteasiertoowhenyoucanstepbacktorecognizetheproblemand articulateittoyourself.Oncetheproblemisclearlydelineated,youvegotyour answer.Asinthecaseofthedoctor,therealdifficultyliesinlearningtodiagnose theillness.Onceyouvegotthediagnosisright,thechoiceofmedicineiseasy. Sothefirststepislearninghowtobethedoctor.Identifyatleastpartofyour mindasthedoctor.Thisisthepartyouwanttotrain.Andthefunnythingisthat intrainingthedoctor,thepatientgetscured.

84

LifeintheBuddhasHospital
March,2002 TheDhammaislikemedicine.YoucanseethisfromthewaytheBuddha teaches.Hestartsoffwiththefournobletruths,whichareverymuchlikean analysisofhowtocareforadisease.Inhiscase,hesofferingacureforthebasic diseaseofthemind:thesufferingthatcomesfromcravingandignorance.Thats whatwevegottocure.Soheanalyzesthesymptomsofthedisease,diagnosesit, explainsitscausation,discusseswhatitsliketobefreeofthedisease,andthen showsapathoftreatmentthatleadstotheendofthedisease,toastateofhealth. Itsimportantthatwekeepthisinmindaswepracticeheretogether:Were workingonthediseasesofourownminds.Eachofushasillnesses.And althoughthebasiccausesofillnessarethesamecraving,ignoranceour cravingsaredifferent.Ourparticularbrandsofignorancearedifferentaswell. Thisiswhywehavetomakeallowancesforeachother,becausedifferentpeople havetoundergodifferentcoursesoftreatment. Itslikegoingintoahospital.Itsnotthecasethateveryoneinthehospitalhas thesamediseases.Somepeoplehavecancer,somehaveheartdiseases,some haveliverdiseases.Somepeoplehavediseasesfromeatingtoomuch,somefrom eatingtoolittle.Thereareallkindsofdifferentdiseasesinthehospital.Andits thesamewayhereinthemonastery.Weeachhaveourownparticulardiseases. Andourdutyhereistotakecareofourowndiseaseswithoutpickingup diseasesfromotherpeopleandatthesametimenotgettingupsetthat somebodyelseistakingadifferentkindofmedicinethanyouare.Eachofushas hisorherowndiseasesrequiringspecifickindsofmedicine.Somemedicinesare bitterandunpleasanttotake;othermedicinesarealoteasiertoswallow.Soeach ofushashisorherowncourseoftreatment.Itsimportantthatwepayattention toourowncourseoftreatment,andnotworryaboutthetreatmentsofothers. Ifsomepeopledontseemtoberecoveringfromtheirdiseasesasfastasyou wouldlikethemto,well,again,itstheirdisease.Trytokeepthisismind. RememberwhatAjaanLeesays:Whenyoulookinside,itsDhamma.Whenyou lookoutside,itstheworld.Anditsnotjustthatyoureadetachedobserver lookingattheworld.Yourwholemindbecomestheworldaswellwhenyou startfocusingoutside.Thispersondoesthat,thispersondoesthis:Thatsthe world,evenifyouusethecategoriesoftheDhammatojudgetheperson.Youve takentheDhammaandyouveturneditintotheworld.Soyouvegottokeep yourgazefocusedinside. Inotherwords,whenyougetupsetatsomeoneelse,whatisthisqualityof beingupset?Focusonthat.Theeventsinthemindaretheimportantissues. Thosearethethingscausingyourownillness.Doyouwanttocureyourown illnessortoaggravateit?Keepthisquestioninmindasyoupractice.

85 Aswelivetogetherandpracticetogether,weseeeachotheralot,buttryto makethatfacthavetheleastpossibleimpactonthemind.Trytoturnyourgaze inside.Evenwhenyourelookingoutside,youwantyourfocustobeinside: Howisyourmindreactingtothis?Howisyourmindreactingtothat?Thisis partofrestraintofthesenses.Severalyearsbackwehadanelderlyvisitorfrom Thailandwhowasveryseriousaboutpracticingrestraintofthesenses.Shekept hereyesdownandhardlytalkedtoanyone.Andthensheoverheardother peopletalkingabouthowstuckupandunfriendlyshewasbecauseshewas tryingtobesoquietandunresponsive.Soshecametometocomplainabout howotherpeoplewerenotrespectingherrestraintofthesenses.Ofcourse,what kindofrestraintisthat,gettingupsetoverwhatotherpeoplearesayingabout you? Restraintispurelyaninternalmatter.Asyougothroughlifeyouhavetohear things,seethings,tastethings,touchthings,thinkaboutthings.Thepointof restraintisthatyoudontmakethosethingsthemainfocus.Theprocessofhow themindreactstotheseeing,howitdirectstheseeing,andsoonwiththeother senses:thatshouldbeyourfocus.Ifissuescomeupandaggravatetheillnessin themind,howareyougoingtodealwithit?TheBuddhalaidoutalotof medicinesforustochoose.Thechantonthe32partsofthebody:Thatsbasically areminderofhismedicinesfordealingwithattachmenttoyourownbodyand lustforthebodiesofothers.Thechantonthefoursublimeattitudes:Thatsfor dealingwithnotonlyangerbutalsowithresentment,jealousy,anycruel intentionsinyourmind.Manytimesyoucangetworkedupaboutthingstotally beyondyourcontrol:Thatswhenyoushouldreflectontheprincipleofkamma todevelopequanimity. Thereareantidotesforallthesediseases,andourdutyhereistousethem. Because,afterall,whossufferingbecauseofourdiseases?Otherpeoplemaybe sufferingtosomeextent,butwerereallysuffering.Wesufferverylittlefromwhat otherpeopledo,andagreatdealfromthelackofskillinourownminds. IntheCanontheBuddhatalksabouthowpeopleshouldnotgiveinto cravingandconceit,andwhenwelookatotherpeopleitsobviousthathes right.Theircravingandconceitareobviouslycausingtrouble.Thetrick,though, liesinseeingourowncraving,ourownconceit.Ifyoufindyourselfusingthese teachingstojudgeotherpeople,stopandaskyourself:Well,waitasecond.Am ItheNationalBureauofStandards? Thenturnaroundandlookatyourself.Whataboutyourowncraving?You wantthingstobeacertainwayandthentheyarentthewayyouwantthemto be.ThisisaveryimportantlessonIlearnedwithAjaanFuang.Healways seemedtofallsickattimesthatwereextremelyinconvenientforme.Idhave someprojectgoingonaroundthemonastery,anditalwaysseemedthatjust whenIwasreallygettingintotheproject,hegotsickandIhadtodrop everythingtolookafterhim.Ibegantonoticethesenseoffrustrationgrowing withinmeandIfinallyrealized,Hey,waitaminute.IfIletgoofthedesireto

86 finishthatproject,thingsgoalotmoreeasily.Atthesametime,ifIletgoofmy desireforhimtocareforhisillnessinthewayIthoughtbest,itmadethingsalot easieraroundthemonastery.Especiallyforme,andprobablyinnosmall measureforhimaswell. Whenyoustartrunningintothatreality,realize:Yourcravingsarethethings thataremakingyousuffer,sothosearethethingsyouhavetoletgoof.When youletgo,youfindyoucanlivewithallkindsofsituations.Notthatyou becomelazyorapathetic,justlettingthingsbewhateverwaytheywanttobe. Youbecomeselective:Wherecanyoumakeadifference?Wherecanyounot makeadifference?Whereisyourcravinghelpingyouinthepath?Whereisit gettingintheway?Youhavetolearnhowtobeselective,howtobeskillfulin whereyoudirectyourwants,whereyoudirectyouraspirations.Again,the problemisnotoutside.Theproblemisinside.Wedosuffertosomeextentfrom thingsoutside,butthereasonwesufferisbecausethingsinsideareunskillful. Thatswhatwehavetoworkon.Oncetheinsideproblemisdealtwith,the outsideproblemsdonttouchusatall. Conceitisanothertroublemaker.Conceitisnotjustpuffingyourselfupand thinkingyourebetterthanotherpeople.AccordingtotheBuddha,itsthe tendencyofthemindtocompareitselfwithothers.Evenifyousay,Imworse thanthatotherperson,or,Imequaltothatotherperson,thatsconceit. TheresanIthere:theImaking,minemaking,andtendencytoconceit. Thatsalotoftheproblemrightthere,amajorcauseofdisease. TheBuddhadescribesthesenseofIamastheunderlyingcauseforthe mindstendencytoproliferateideas,itstendencytomakedifferentiations,to complicatethings,andallthecategoriesandconflictsthatcomefromthose complications:TheseallstartwiththeIam.Thebasicverbalizationofcraving alsostartswithIam.ItthengoesontoIwas,Iwillbe,orAmI?AmI not?andalltheotherquestionsthatcomeupfromputtingtheIandtheam togetherandthenidentifyingwiththem.YoustartcomparingthisIamto otherpeoples,toyoursenseofwhattheyare.Soeitheryourebetterthanthey are,oryoureequal,oryoureworse.Whicheversideyoucomedownon, though,itsjustabigtroublemakerallaround. Justkeepremembering:Otherpeoplesdiseasesaretheirdiseases.Theyve gottocurethem.Theyvegottotaketheirmedicine.Yourdiseasesareyours yourprimeresponsibility.Andifthepersonnexttoyouinthehospitalroomis nottakinghismedicineproperly,thatshisproblem.Youcanbehelpfuland encouragehim,buttherecomesatimewhenyouhavetosay,Okay,thatshis issue.Ivegotmyowndiseasetotakecareof.Thiswayitsaloteasierforallof us. Whentheseattachments,cravings,andconceitsdontgetintheway,thenany placeyoupracticebecomesanidealplacetopractice.Peopleoftenask,Whereis thebestplacetopractice?Andtheansweris,Righthereinthehereandnow. Itsactuallytheonlyplaceyoucanpractice.Butyoucandothingstomakethe

87 hereandnowabetterplacetopracticewhereveryouare,bothforyourselfand forthepeoplearoundyou.Itsdependentnotsomuchonchangingthings outsideasitisonchangingyourinnerattitudes.Thatwaytheplacewherewere practicingbecomesagoodplacetopracticeforusall.

88

Vows
October,2002 WhenyoureadAjaanLeesautobiography,younoticethenumberoftimes hemadevows:vowingtositallnight,vowingtomeditatesomanyhours, vowingtodothis,vowingtodowithoutthat.ThewordforvowinThaiis adhithaan,whichisalsotranslatedasdetermination.Youmakeupyourmind, youredeterminedtodosomething.Makingdeterminationslikethisgives strengthtoyourpractice.Otherwiseyoujustsitandmeditateforawhileand whenthegoinggetstoughWell,thatsenoughfortoday.Youdontpush yourlimits.Asaresultyoudontgetatasteofwhatliesoutsidethelimitsof yourexpectations. AstheBuddhasaid,thepurposeofthepracticeistoseewhatyouvenever seenbefore,realizewhatyouveneverrealizedbefore,andmanyofthesethings youveneverseenorrealizedlieoutsidethelimitsofyourimagination.Inorder toseethem,youhavetolearnhowtopushyourselfmorethanyoumight imagine.Butthishastobedonewithskill.ThatswhytheBuddhasaidthata gooddeterminationinvolvesfourqualities:discernment,truth,relinquishment, andpeace. Discernmentheremeanstwothings.Tobeginwith,itmeanssettingwise goals:learninghowtorecognizeausefulvow,onethataimsatsomethingreally worthwhile,oneinwhichyourepushingyourselfnottoolittle,nottoomuch somethingthatsoutsideyourordinaryexpectationsbutnotsofarthatyoucome crashingdown.Second,itmeansclearlyunderstandingwhatyouhavetodoto achieveyourgoalswhatcauseswillleadtotheresultsyouwant. Itsimportanttohavespecificgoalsinyourpractice:Thatssomethingmany peoplemiss.Theythinkthathavingagoalmeansyoureconstantlydepressed aboutnotreachingyourgoal.Well,thatsnothowtorelatetogoalsinaskillful way.Yousetagoalthatsrealisticbutchallenging,youfigureoutwhatcauses, whatactions,willgetyouthere,andthenyoufocusonthoseactions. Youcantpracticewithoutagoal,forotherwiseeverythingwouldfallapart andyouyourselfwouldstartwonderingwhyyourehere,whyyoure meditating,andwhyyouarentoutsittingonthebeach.Thetrickliesinlearning howtorelatetoyourgoalinanintelligentway.Thatspartofthediscernment thatformsthisfactorindetermination. Sometimesweretaughtnottohavegoalsinthemeditation.Usuallythatson meditationretreats.Youreinahighpressureenvironment,youhavealimited amountoftime,andsoyoupush,push,push.Withoutanydiscernmentyoucan doyourselfharm.Soinashorttermsettinglikethatitswisenottofocusonany particularresultsyouwanttobragaboutaftertheretreat:Ispenttwoweeksat thatmonastery,oroneweekatthatmeditationcenter,andIcamebackwiththe

89 firstjhana.Likeatrophy.Youusuallyendupifyougetsomethingthatyou cancalljhanawhenyougohomewithanunripemango.Youvegotagreen mangoonyourtreeandsomeonecomesalongandsays,Aripemangois yellowanditssoft.Soyousqueezeyourmangotomakeitsoftandpaintit yellowtomakeitlookripe,butitsnotaripemango.Itsaruinedmango. Alotofreadymixjhanaisjustlikethat.Youreadthatitssupposedtobelike this,composedofthisfactorandthat,andsoyouaddalittleofthisandapinch ofthat,andpresto!thereyouare:jhana.Whenyousettimelimitslikethatfor yourself,youendupwithwhoknowswhat. Now,whenyourenotonaretreat,whenyourelookingatmeditationasa dailypartofyourlife,youneedtohaveoverall,longrangegoals.Otherwise yourpracticelosesfocus,andthepracticeofdailylifebecomesafancyword forplainolddailylife.Youneedtokeepremindingyourselfaboutwhyyoure meditating,aboutwhatthemeditationreallymeansinthelongtermarcofyour future.Youwanttruehappiness,dependablehappiness,thesortofhappiness thatwillstaywithyouthroughthickandthin. Then,onceyoureclearaboutyourgoal,youhavetousediscernmentbothto figureouthowtogetthereandtopsycheyourselfupforstayingonthepath youvepicked.Whatthisoftenmeansisturningyourattentionfromthegoaland focusingitonthestepsthatwilltakeyouthere.Youfocusmoreonwhatyoudo thanontheresultsyouhopetogetfromwhatyoudo.Forexample,youcantsit hereandsay,Imgoingtogetthefirstjhana,orthesecondjhana,orwhatever, butyoucansay,Imgoingtostayhereandbemindfulofeverybreathforthe nextwholehour.Eachandeveryone.Thatsfocusingonthecauses.Whetheror notyoureachaparticularlevelofjhanaliesintheareaofresults.Withoutthe causes,theresultswontcome,sodiscernmentfocusesonthecausesandletsthe causestakecareoftheresults. Thenextelementonceyouvedecidedonyourgoalandhowyouregoing toapproachitistostaytruetothatdetermination.Inotherwords,youreally sticktoyourvowanddontsuddenlychangeyourmindinmidcourse.Theonly goodreasonforchangingyourmindwouldbeifyoufindthatyouredoing seriousdamagetoyourself.Thenyoumightwanttoreconsiderthesituation. Otherwise,ifitsjustaninconvenience,orahardship,youstickwithyour determinationnomatterwhat. Thisisyourwayoflearninghowtotrustyourself.Truthfulness,sacca,is notsimplyamatterofspeakingthetruth.Italsomeansstickingtrulytowhat youvemadeupyourmindtodo.Ifyoudontsticktrulytothat,youvebecome atraitortoyourself.Andwhenyoucantrelyonyourself,whowillyourelyon? Yougohopingforsomeoneelsetorelyon,buttheycantdotheworkyouhave todo.Soyoulearntobetruetoyourdetermination. Thethirdelementinagooddeterminationisrelinquishment.Inotherwords, whileyourebeingtruetoyourdeterminationtherearethingsyouregoingto havetogiveup.TheresaverseintheDhammapada:Ifyouseeagreater

90 happinessthatcomesfromforsakingalesserhappiness,bewillingtoforsakethe lesserhappinessforthesakeofthegreaterone. AfamousPalischolaronceinsistedthatthatcouldntpossiblybethe meaningoftheversebecauseitwassoobvious.Butifyoulookatpeopleslives, itsnotobviousatall.Manytimestheygiveuplongtermhappinessforaquick fix.Ifyoutaketheeasywayoutforaday,thenyoutaketheeasywayoutforthe nextdayandthenext,andyourlongtermgoaljustnevermaterializes.The momentumneverbuildsup. Thethingsthatreallypullyouoffthepatharethosethatlookgoodand promiseaquickergratification.Butonceyouvegottheresultsofthequickfix, manytimesyoudontgetanygratificationatallitwasallanillusion.Oryou getalittlebit,butitwasntworthit. ThatsoneofthereasonswhytheBuddhapresentsthosestrongimagesfor thedrawbacksofsensualpleasure.Adropofhoneyonaknifeblade.Aburning torchyoureholdinginfrontofyou,upwind,asyourerunning.Alittlepieceof fleshthatasmallbirdhasinitsclaws,whileother,biggerbirdsarecomingto stealit,andtheyrewillingtokillthesmallerbirdiftheydontgetit. Theseareprettyharshimagesbuttheyreharshonpurpose,forwhenthe mindgetsfixatedonasensualpleasureitdoesntwanttolistentoanybody.Its notgoingtobeswayedbysoft,gentleimages.Youhavetokeepreminding yourselfinstrongtermsthatifyoureallylookatsensualpleasures,theres nothingmuch:notruegratificationandalotoftruedanger. Ioncehadadreamthatdepictedthesensualrealmasnothingmorethantwo typesofpeople:dreamersandcriminals.Somepeoplesitarounddreamingabout whattheydlike,whileothersdecidethattheywonttakenoforananswer, theyregoingtogetwhattheywanteveniftheyhavetogetviolent.Itsavery unpleasantworldtobein.Thatsthewaythesensualrealmreallyis,butwetend toforgetbecauseweresowrappedupinourdreams,wrappedupinour desires,thatwedontlookattherealityofwhatwedointheprocessofour dreaming,whatwedointheprocessoftryingtogetwhatwewant. Solearntoreflectoftenonthesethings.Thisisoneofthereasonswhyyour determinationshouldstartoutwithdiscernment.Youhavetousediscernment allthewayalongthepathtoremindyourselfthatthelesserpleasuresreallyare lesser.Theyrenotworththeeffortandespeciallynotworthwhatyouregiving upintermsofalargerpleasure,alargerhappiness,alargerwellbeing. Thefourthandfinalelementinaproperdeterminationispeace.Youtryto keepthemindcalminthecourseofworkingtowardyourgoal.Dontget workedupoverthedifficulties,dontgetworkedupoverthethingsyoure havingtogiveup,dontgetworkedupabouthowmuchtimeyouvealready spentonthepathandhowmuchremainstobecovered.Focuscalmlyonthestep rightaheadofyouandtrytokeepaneventemperthroughout. Thesecondmeaningofpeacehereisthatonceyouvereachedthegoalthere shouldbeasteadyelementofcalm.Ifyouvereachedthegoalandthemindis

91 stillallstirredup,itsasignthatyouchosethewronggoal.Thereshouldbea deeperpacification,adeepercalmnessthatsetsinonceyouveattainedthegoal. AstheBuddhasaid,itsnormalthatwhileyoureworkingtowardagoal theresgoingtobecertainamountofdissatisfaction.Youwantsomethingbut yourenotthereyet.Somepeopleadvisethat,inordertogetridofthat dissatisfaction,youshouldjustloweryourstandards.Donthavegoals.But thatsreallysellingyourselfshort,anditsaveryunskillfulwayofgettingridof thatsenseofdissatisfaction.Theskillfulwayistodowhathastobedone,stepby step,toarriveatthegoal,togetwhatyouwant.Thenthedissatisfactionis replaced,ifitsapropergoal,bypeace. So,asyoulookatthegoalsinyourmeditation,inyourlife,trytokeepthese fourqualitiesinmind:discernment,truthfulness,relinquishment,andpeace.Be discerninginyourchoiceofagoalandthepaththatyouregoingtofollowtoget there.Onceyouvemadeupyourmindthatitsawisegoal,betruetoyour determination;dontbeatraitortoit.Bewillingtogiveupthelesserpleasures thatgetintheway,andtrytokeepyourmindonanevenkeelasyouwork towardyourgoal.Thatwayyoufindthatyoustretchyourselfnottothepoint ofbreaking,butinwaysthatallowyoutogrow. Asyoulearntopushyourselfalittlebitmore,alittlebitmore,alittlebit morethanyouthoughtpossible,youfindthateachlittlebitbecomesquitealot. Italladdsup,andyoufindthatthepracticecantakeyoutoplacesthatyou otherwisewouldnthaveimagined.

92

TheDignityofRestraint
September,2001 Itsalwaysinterestingtonoticewhichwordsdisappearfromcommonusage. Wehavetheminourpassivevocabulary,weknowtheirmeaning,buttheytend todisappearfromdaytodayconversationwhichusuallymeansthattheyve disappearedfromthewayweshapeourlives.SeveralyearsbackIgavea DhammatalkinwhichIhappenedtomentiontheworddignity.Afterthetalk, awomanintheaudiencewhohademigratedfromRussiacametomeandsaid thatshehadneverheardAmericansusetheworddignitybefore.Shehad learneditwhenshestudiedEnglishoverinRussia,butsheneverheardpeople useithere.Anditsgoodtothinkaboutwhy.Whereandwhydiditdisappear? Ithinkthereasonisrelatedtoanotherwordthattendstodisappearfrom commonusage,andthatsrestraint:foregoingcertainpleasures,notbecause wehaveto,butbecausetheygoagainstourprinciples.Theopportunityto indulgeinthosepleasuresmaybethere,butwelearnhowtosayNo.Thisof courseisrelatedtoanotherwordwetendnottouse,andthatstemptation. Eventhoughwedonthavetobelievethattheressomeoneoutthereactively temptingus,therearethingsallaroundusthatdo,thattemptustogiveintoour desires.Andanimportantpartofourpracticeisthatweexerciserestraint.Asthe Buddhasays,restraintovertheeyes,ears,nose,tongue,andbodyisgood,asis restraintintermsofouractions,ourspeech,andourthoughts. Whatsgoodaboutit?Well,foronething,ifwedonthaveanyrestraint,we donthaveanycontroloverwhereourlivesaregoing.Anythingthatcomes acrossourwayimmediatelypullsusinitswake.Wedonthaveanystrongsense ofpriorities,ofwhatsreallyworthwhile,ofwhatsnotworthwhile,ofthe pleasureswedgainbysayingNotootherpleasures.Howdowerankthe pleasuresinourlives,thehappiness,thesenseofwellbeingthatwegetin variousways?Actually,theresasenseofwellbeingthatcomesfrombeing totallyindependent,fromnotneedingotherthings.Ifthatstateofwellbeing doesnthaveachancetodevelop,ifwereconstantlygivingintoourimpulseto dothisortakethat,wellneverknowwhatthatwellbeingis. Atthesametime,wellneverknowourimpulses.Whenyousimplyridewith yourimpulses,youdontunderstandtheirforce.Theyrelikethecurrentsbelow thesurfaceofariver:Onlyifyoutrytobuildadamacrosstheriverwillyou detectthosecurrentsandappreciatehowstrongtheyare.Sowehavetolookat whatsimportantinlife,developastrongsenseofpriorities,andbewillingto sayNotothecurrentsthatwouldleadtolessworthwhilepleasures.Asthe Buddhasaid,ifyouseeagreaterpleasurethatcomesfromforsakingalesser pleasure,well,bewillingtoforsakethatlesserpleasureforthesakeofthegreater one.

93 Soundslikeanobrainer,butifyoulookatthewaymostpeoplelive,they dontthinkinthoseterms.Theywanteverythingthatcomestheirway.They wanttohavetheircakeandenlightenmenttoo,towinatchesswithout sacrificingasinglepawn.Evenwhentheymeditate,theirpurposeindeveloping mindfulnessisforthesakeofanevenmoreintenseappreciationofthe experienceofeverymomentinlife.Thatssomethingyouneverseeinthe Buddhasteachings,though.Histhemeisalwaysthatyouhavetoletgoofthisin ordertogainthat,givethisupinordertoarriveatthat.Theresalwaysatrade off. Sowerenotpracticingforamoreintenseappreciationofsights,scents, soundstastes,smells,tactilesensations.Werepracticingtorealizethatthemind doesntneedtodependonthosethings,andthatitshealthierwithoutthat dependency.Eventhoughthebodyrequiresamodicumoftherequisitesoffood, clothing,shelter,andmedicine,theresanawfullotthatitdoesntneed.And becauseouruseoftherequisitesinvolvessuffering,bothforourselvesandfor everyoneelseinvolvedintheirproduction,weoweittoourselvesandtoothers tokeeppushingtheenvelopeinthedirectionofrestraint,togiveupthethings wedontneed,soastobeasunburdensomeaspossible. Thisiswhysomuchofthetrainingliesinlearningtoputthisaside,putthat aside,givethisup,givethatup.Developingthishabitontheexternallevel makesusreflectontheinternallevel:Whatattachmentsinthemindwouldbe goodtogiveup?Couldourmindsurviveperfectlywellwithoutthethingswe tendtocrave?TheBuddhasanswerisYes.Infact,itsbetteroffthatway. Still,averystrongpartofourmindresiststhatteaching.Wemaygiveup thingsforacertainwhile,butourattitudeisoften,Igaveupthisforacertain while,Igaveupthatforsolong,nowIcangetbacktoit.Thatsatypical pattern.LikewiththeRainsretreatthatswindingdownrightnow:Peopletend tomakealotofvowsWell,IllgiveupcigarettesfortheRains,Illgiveup newspapersfortheRainsbutassoonastheRainsisovertheygobacktotheir oldways.Theyvemissedthewholepoint,whichisthatifyoucansurvivefor threemonthswithoutthosethings,youcanprobablysurvivefortherestofthe yearwithoutthemaswell.Hopefullyduringthosethreemonthsyouveseenthe advantagesofgivingthemup.Soyoucandecide,Okay,Imgoingtocontinue givingthemup.EventhoughyoumayhavetheopportunitytosayYestoyour desires,youremindyourselftosayNo. Thisprincipleofrestraint,ofgivingthingsup,appliestoeverystepofthe path.Whenyourepracticinggenerosityyouhavetogiveupthingsthatyou mightenjoy.YourealizethebenefitsthatcomefromsayingNotoyourgreed andallowingotherpeopletoenjoywhatyouregivingaway.Forexample,when yourelivinginagrouptheresfoodtobesharedbyall.Ifyougiveupsomeof yoursharesootherscanenjoyabiggershare,yourecreatingabetter atmosphereinthegroup.Soyouhavetoaskyourself,IsthegratificationIget fromtakingthisthingworththetrade?Andyoubegintoseetheadvantagesof

94 givinguponthislevel.Thisiswheredignitybeginstocomebackintoourlives: Werenotjustdigestivetracts.Werenotslavestoourdesires.Weretheir masters. Thesamewiththeprecepts:Theremaybethingsthatyoudliketodoorsay, butyoudontdothem,youdontsaythembecausetheyredishonestorhurtful. Evenifyoufeelthatyoumightgetaheadorgainsomeadvantagebysaying them,youdontsaythembecausetheygoagainstyourprinciples.Youfindthat youdontstooptotheactivitiesthatyouusedto,andtheresasenseofhonor,a senseofdignitythatcomeswiththat:thatyoucantbeboughtoffwiththose particularpleasures,withthetemptationtotaketheeasywayout.Atthesame time,youreshowingrespectforthedignity,theworth,ofthosearoundyou. Andagain,thisgivesdignitytoourlives. Whenyouremeditating,thesameprocessholds.Peoplesometimeswonder whytheycantgettheirmindstoconcentrate.Itsbecausetheyrenotwillingto giveupotherinterests,evenforthetimebeing.Athoughtcomesandyoujustgo rightafteritwithoutcheckingtoseewhereitsgoing.Thisideacomes,that soundsinteresting,thatlooksintriguing,youvegotawholehourtothinkabout whateveryouwant.Ifthatsyourattitudetowardthemeditationtime,nothings goingtogetaccomplished. Youhavetorealizethatthisisyouropportunitytogetthemindstableand still.Inordertodothat,youhavetogiveupallkindsofotherthoughts. Thoughtsaboutthepast,thoughtsaboutthefuture,figuringthisout,planning forthat,whatever:Youhavetoputthemallaside.Nomatterhowwonderfulor sophisticatedthosethoughtsare,youjustsayNotothem. Nowifyouvebeenpracticinggenerosityandhavereallybeenseriousabout practicingtheprecepts,youvedevelopedtheabilitytosayNoskillfully,which iswhygenerosityandthepreceptsarenotoptionalpartsofthepractice.Theyre yourfoundationforthemeditation.Whenyouvemadeapracticeofgenerosity andvirtue,themindsabilitytosayNotoitsimpulseshasbeenstrengthened andgivenfinesse.Youveseenthegoodresultsthatcomefrombeingableto restrainyourselfintermsofyourwordsanddeeds.Youveseenthatrestraint meanstheoppositeofdeprivation.Now,asyoumeditate,youvegotthe opportunitytorestrainyourthoughtsandseewhatgoodcomesfromthat.Ifyou reallyareabletosayNotoyourvagrantideas,youfindthatthemindcansettle downwithamuchgreatersenseofsatisfactioninitsstateofconcentrationthan couldpossiblycomewiththoseideas,nomatterhowfantastictheyare. Youfindthatthesatisfactionofgivingintothosedistractionsjustslips throughyourfingersasifitwereneverthere.Itsliketryingtograbahandfulof waterorafistfulofair.Butthesenseofwellbeingthatcomeswithbeingableto repeatedlybringyourmindtoastateofstillness,evenifyouhaventgoneallthe way,beginstopermeateeverythingelseinyourlife.Youfindthatthemind reallyisamoreindependentthingthanyouimagineditcouldbe.Itdoesntneed togiveintothoseimpulses.ItcansayNotoitself.

95 Evenmoresowhenyoudevelopthediscernmentthatsabletodigoutthe sourceofthoseimpulsestoseewheretheycomefrom,tothepointwherethe wholeissueoftemptationisnolongeranissuebecausetheresnothingtempting. Youlookatthethingsthatwouldpullthemindoutofitsstillness,outofits independence,andyourealizetheyrejustnotworthit.Inthepastyouwere trainingthemindinasenseofhungerthatswhatwedowhenwekeepgiving intoimpulses:Weretrainingourselvesinhunger.Butnowyoutrainthemind inthedirectionofhavingenough,ofbeingfree,andyourealizethatthesenseof hungeryouusedtocultivateisreallyamajorsourceofsuffering.Youremuch betteroffwithoutit. Itsimportantthatwerealizetherolethatrestraintplaysinovercomingthe problemofsufferingandfindingtruewellbeingforourselves.Yourealizethat yourenotgivingupanythingyoureallyneed.Yourealotbetteroffwithoutit. Theresapartofthemindthatresiststhistruth,andourculturehasntbeenvery helpfulatallbecauseitencouragesthatresistance:Giveintothisimpulse,give intothatimpulse,obeyyourthirst.Itsgoodfortheeconomy,itsgoodforyou spiritually.Watchout,ifyourepressyourdesiresyouregoingtogettiedupin psychologicalknots.Thelessonsourcultureteachesustogooutandbuy, buy,buy,begreedy,begreedy,givein,giveinareallovertheplace.Andwhat kindofdignitycomesfromfollowingthosemessages?Thedignityoffish gobblingdownbait.Wevegottounlearnthosehabits,unlearnthosemessages, ifwewanttorevivewordslikedignityandrestraint,andtoreaptherewards thattherealitiesofdignityandrestrainthavetoofferourminds.

96

Fears
April,2003 Wereafraidofsomanythings.Theressomuchfearinourlives.Andyetthe textsdonttreatfearallthatmuch,largelybecausetherearemanydifferentkinds offearfearassociatedwithgreed,fearassociatedwithanger,fearassociated withdelusionandthetextsfocusmoreontheemotionsbehindthefearsthan onthefearsthemselves.Theimplicationhereisthatifyouwanttounderstand yourfears,youhavetounderstandtheemotionsbehindthem.Youhaveto analyzefearnotasasingle,solidthing,butasacompoundofmanydifferent factors,toseewhichpartofthefearisdependentonthegreedorpassion,which partisdependentontheaversion,andwhichpartisdependentonthedelusion. Then,whenyouvetakencareoftheunderlyingemotions,youvetakencareof thefear. Iftheresgreedforsomething,orpassionforsomething,theresthefearthat yourenotgoingtogetit,orthefearthatonceyouhavegotityouregoingtobe deprivedofit. Thentheresfearbasedonanger.Youknowthatifacertainthinghappensits goingtohurt,youregoingtosuffer.Youreaversetoit,soyoureafraidofit. Andthentheresthewholeareaofdelusion,ofwhatyoudontknow,ofthe greatunknownoutthere.Fearbasedondelusioncanrangeanywherefromfear ofaghostinthenextroom,orastrangepersoninthisroom,togeneral existentialangst:asensethatsomethingisrequiredofyouandyoudontknow whatitis.Humanexperienceseemslikesuchahugevoid,somethingveryalien. Theresthebigsenseoffearthattheremaynotbeanymeaningorpurposeto life,thatitsjustpointlesssuffering. Soyouhavetodivideoutthedifferentkindsoffear,becauseyouneedto worknotsomuchonthefearasonitsroot.Unlessyoudigdowntothedifferent factors,youwontknowwhatkindoffearitis.Youwontbeabletogettoits rootcauses. Now,feariscomplicatedbythefactthatitssuchaphysicalemotion.When feararisesthereareallkindsofreactionsinthebody.Theheartbeatspeedsup, thestomachjuicesgetchurning,andweoftenconfusethephysicalreactionsfor thementalstate.Inotherwords,asingleflashoffearfloodsthemindandthen recedes,butitsetsintomotionahugeseriesofphysicalreactionsthatsometimes willtakealongtimetosettledown.Andbecausetheydontsettledownright away,theresasensethatImuststillbeafraidbecausehereareallthephysical symptomsoffear.Sothefirstthingindealingwithfear,especiallystrongfear likethis,istoseparatethementalstatefromthephysicalstate. Somepeoplesaytheyhavenotroublereasoningthemselvesoutofthefear, butfindthattheyrestillafraid.Thatmaybebasedonamisunderstanding,on

97 mistakingthephysicalsymptomsoffearfortheactualmentalstate.Wehaveto separatethephysicalsideofthefearfromthementalstate,becauseifyoure reasoningthroughtheissue,theactualfearitselfmaybeatbay.Whatseemsto liveon,orseemstobeunwillingtogoaway,isthephysicalside,andofcourseit takesawhiletogoawaybecauseofthehormoneschurnedupinyourblood stream.Itsgoingtotakeawhileforthemtowashout.Soyourfirstlineof defenseistolearntoknowwhenthereactuallyisfearinthemindandwhen theresnofearinthemind,eventhoughtheremaybethesignsoffearinthe body.Whenyoucanmakethisdistinction,youdontfeelsooverwhelmedbythe emotion.Youbreatheasbestyoucanthroughthephysicalmanifestationsoffear, thetension,thefeelingsthatcomewiththatshortenedbreathortheconstricted breaththatresultfromthefear.Thenconsciouslyexpandthatsensationof physicalreliefandopenituptocounteractthefearsphysicalsymptoms. Atthesametime,askyourself,Exactlywhatisthisfear?Whatsbeing threatened?Wheredoyoufeelweak?Whatisthedanger?Learntotakethe reasonsforthefearapart,becausealotofthefearliesintheconfusion.Youdont knowexactlywhatyoureafraidof,oryoudontknowexactlywhattodo.All theavenuesseemclosedandyoucantanalyzewhatsgoingon.Andthat multipliesthefear. Soyouhavetositdown,ifyouhavethechancetositdown,oratleast mentallymakeanote:Whatisthisfear?Exactlywhatsparkedit?Learntolook atthefearnotassomethingthatyourefeelingbutsomethingthatssimplythere. Andtrytolookatwhyitkeepsshoutingatyouoverandoverandoverinthe brain. Somefearsareneurotic.Theyrebasedongrossdelusionandtheyre relativelyeasytodealwith.Thosearetheonesthatpsychotherapistscanhandle. Youhadareallybadexperienceasachildandyouveinstinctivelybeen avoidingthatparticularissue,thatparticularfeeling,eversince,butitsgottento thepointwhereitstotallyunrealistic.Andbecausethefearisunrealistic,the treatmentistosimplylookatthesituationforwhatitreallyis.Youconfrontit, youtrynottoavoidit,butactuallyputyourselfintocircumstancesthatwill bringupthatfearagainandwatchthedisjunctionbetweenthefearandthe reality.Youlearnthattherealitywasnotasbadasyouthoughtitwouldbe.As thisdisjunctiongrowsclearer,thefeargetscalmer,weaker,moreandmore manageable.Thatshowyouhandleneuroticfear. Realisticfearsrequiredeeperpractice.Oneofthemembersofourcommunity losthermotherinawar,cametotheStates,andbecameapsychotherapist.As partofhertrainingshehadtoundergopsychotherapy.Afteracoupleofyearsof psychotherapy,thetherapistsaid,Itlookslikeyourfearsareveryrealistic. TheresnothingIcandoforyou.ThisiswhereDhammapracticecomesin: facingourrealisticfears,ourfearsofaging,illness,separation,anddeath.These thingsarerealandtheydocausesufferingifyoudontworkyourwaydown intoexactlywhereyourattachmentsare.ThisispreciselytheBuddhisttakeon

98 fear:Itcomesfromclingingandattachment.Andtheclingingisthreatenedby impermanence,bystressandsuffering,bythefactthatthesethingsarebeyond yourcontrol.Thepurposeofourtraininghereistolearnhownottoletour happinessbebasedonthingsbeyondourcontrol,becauseaslongasweentrust ourhappinesstothem,weresettingourselvesupforsuffering,settingourselves upforfear. Thisishowthemeditationinandofitselfisawayofdealingwiththefears thedeeperfears,therealisticfears.Askyourself,Whatexactlydoesmy happinessdependon?Normally,peoplewillallowtheirhappinesstodepend onawholelotofconditions.Andthemoreyouthinkaboutthoseconditions,the moreyourealizethattheyretotallybeyondyourcontrol:theeconomy,the climate,thepoliticalsituation,thecontinuedbeatingofcertainhearts,the stabilityofthegroundbeneathyourfeet,allofwhichareveryuncertain.Sowhat doyoudo?Youlearntolookinside.Trytocreateasenseofwellbeingthatcan comesimplywithbeingwiththebreath.Eventhoughthisisntthetotalcure,its thepathtowardthecure.Youlearntodevelopahappinesslessandless dependentonthingsoutside,andmoreandmoreinward,somethingmoreunder yourcontrol,somethingyoucanmanagebetter.Andasyouworkonthis happinessyoufindthatitsnotasecondbest.Itactuallyisbetterthanthekindof happinessthatwasdependentonthingsoutside.Itsmuchmoregratifying,more stable.Itpermeatesmuchmoredeeplyintothemind. Infact,itallowsthemindtoopenup,becauseformostofusthemindjumps aroundlikeacat.Whereveritlands,itsalwaysgoingtostaytense,foritknows ithastobereadytojumpagainatanymoment.Butwhenyoufindsomething youcanstaywithforlongperiodsoftime,themindcanallowitselftorelax. Whenitknowsthatitwonthavetojumpanytimesoon,itcansoftenupabit. Whenitsoftensupyoufinditeasiertoknowthemindinandofitself:whatits like,whereitsattachmentsare,whereitsstillclinging.Thatallowsyoutogo deeperstill. Andwefindthatourultimatefearisfearofdeath,whichisanextremely realisticfear.Itsgoingtohappenforsure,andformostofusitsahugemystery. Thisiswherethesolutionhastolieinthemeditation,foronlymeditationcan takeyoutosomethingbeyonddeath,beyondspaceandtime.Deathissomething thathappenswithinspaceandtime,butthereissomethingthatcanbe experiencedoutsideofthosedimensions.Thatswhatwerelookingfor. Asthetextssay,therearefourreasonswhypeoplefeardeath.One,theyre attachedtotheirbodiestheyknowtheyregoingtolosetheirbodiesatdeath. Two,theyreattachedtosensorypleasurestheyknowtheyregoingtolose thematdeath.Thesetwotypesoffeararebasedonpassion:passionforthe body,passionforoursensualappetites.Thethirdtypeoffearisbasedon aversion,whenpeopleknowthattheyhavedonecruelthingsinthepastand thattheymayhavetofacepunishmentforthosecruelthingsafterdeath.The fourthtypeoffearisbasedondelusion,whenpeopleareuncertainaboutthe

99 trueDhamma:WastheBuddharight?IstherereallyaDeathless?Aslongas youdontknowthesethingsdirectlyforyourself,theresalwaysgoingtobean uncertainty,alargeamountofignoranceanddelusionsurroundingdeath, creatingfear. Thewholepurposeofthepracticeistocounteractthesecausesforfear,so thatyouarentdependentonthebody,youdonthavetoclingtothebodyfor yourhappiness,youdonthavetoclingtosensorypleasuresforyourhappiness, youtrainyourselftodogoodthings,andyoureachthepointwhereyoutastethe Deathlessandknowforsurethatyoureontherightpathtotherightgoal. Todothisyouhavetotakeapartthebasicbuildingblocksofexperience,as youencountertheminconcentration:form,feeling,perceptions,thought fabrications,andconsciousness.Youlooktoseewherethesethingsare inconstant.Wheretheyreinconstant,yourealizetheyrestressful.Theresstress rightthereintheinconstancy.Thenwhenyoulookatstress,lookatsuffering althoughatthislevelitsmorestressthansufferingyouaskyourself,Whatam Idoingtocausethatstress,toaggravatethatstress?Whatactivitiesare accompanyingthestress?Youlookforthecause,anditsrightthereinyour intentionalactions. Whenyoucantakethoseintentionsapart,thingsopenup.Oncetheyopen up,yourealizethatyouvecometosomethingtotallydifferent,atotallydifferent dimension,outsideofspaceandtime.Andyourealizethatdeathcanttouch that.Onlywiththatdirectexperiencecanyousaythatyouveovercomeyour fearofdeath.Theonlyfearyoureleftwithisthefearyoumighthavelapsesof mindfulnesswhereyoumightdosomethingunskillful.Sothereisstillworkto bedone.Attheveryleast,though,inthegrosssenseofthefiveprecepts,you wouldntintentionallydoanythingunskillful. Sothisishowthemeditationdealswithfear.Itbreaksthefeardowninto otheremotions,lookingfortheunderlyingcausesintermsofthegreed,passion, anger,anddelusionthatgiverisetothefearandkeepitgoing.Atthesametime, themeditationpointsdirectlyatthewaywepinourhopesforhappinesson undependablethings,andopensthewayforustopinourhopes,noton somethingchangeableoroutofourcontrol,butonadimensionbeyondthereach ofthingsthatcouldharmit.Sothecureforfearisnotjustamatteroftalking yourselfoutofit,butofputtingyourselfinapositionofstrength,wherethere reallyisnodanger,nothingtofear. Sotheseareafewthoughtsondealingwiththeemotionoffearasitcomes. Learntoseparatethephysicalfromthementalside,soyoudont misunderstandwhatshappeninginthebody,soitdoesntstirupmore confusioninthemind. Learnhowtofocusdirectlyonthemind,toseeexactlywhattheproblemis, wherethesenseofweaknessis,wheretheclingingis,becausewherevertheres clingingtheresweakness.Andthatswhatconstitutesfear.

100 Thenlooktoseeifthatdangerisrealistic.Ifitsnot,theresonewayof dealingwithit;ifitsrealistic,theresanotherdeeperwayofdealingwithit. Thiswayyoufindyoucannotonlygetahandleonyourfearorlearntocope withfearbutultimatelyputyourselfinapositionwheretheretrulyisnothingto fear.Andthatswhatmakesthispracticesospecial.Freudoncesaidthatthe purposeofpsychotherapyistotakepeopleoutoftheirneuroticsufferingand leavethemwiththeordinarymiseriesofdailylife.TheDhamma,however,takes youfromtheordinarymiseriesofhumanlifeandleadsyoubeyond,toa dimensionwherethereisnomisery,nosuffering,atall.Itdealsnotonlywith unrealisticfearsorfearsthatarewayoutofproportion,butalsowiththefears thataregenuinelyrealisticandwellfounded.Itcantakeyoubeyondeventhose toapointwhere,inallreality,thereisnothingtofear.

101

SkillstoTakewithYou
November12,1996 Whenwecomeouttothemonasterylikethis,wecometoaplacecutofffrom humansocietynottotallycutoff,becausethereareotherhumanbeingshere, butitsadifferentkindofsociety:asocietywherethebottomlineisthepractice, thegrowthofthemind,thegrowthoftheheart,thedevelopmentof mindfulness,concentration,anddiscernment.Thatsnotthebottomlineinthe worldatlarge,butitisthebottomlinehere,becausethemindneedsthiskindof environmenttodevelopitsbestqualities.Whenweliveintheworldwetendto pickupthevaluesoftheworldandwhatdothosevaluessay?Theysayit doesntmatterwhatyoudoaslongasyousucceed,aslongasyougetahead,as longasyougetmoney.Thatstheimportantthing.Peopletrytodressthese valuesuptosoundalittlebetterthanthat,butthatsbasicallywhattheycome downto.Andwhenyoulivewithpeoplewhoholdtothesevaluesandyoudont haveagoodsolidbasiswithinyourselftowithstandthatkindofthinking, youvegottogivein.Youtendtofollowalongwiththemwhetheryoulikeitor not. ButtheBuddhateachesusthattruehappinessisntfoundthatway.Hesays thattruehappinesscomesfromdevelopinggoodqualitiesinthemind.Ithas nothingtodowithmoney,nothingtodowithstatus,nothingtodowiththe opinionsofotherpeople.Itssomethingtotallyinner,andithastocomefrom innergoodness.Thisisrevolutionary,becausetheworldtellsyouifyouwantto getaheadyouhavetodevelopallsortsofqualitiesyoucantreallybeproudof: thequalitiesyouneedtostabpeopleintheback,makeaquickbuck,take advantageofotherpeoplesweaknesses.ButtheBuddhasaysthattrue happinessrequiresyoutodevelopthingslikepersistence,perseverance, endurance,integrity,mindfulness,kindness,reliability.Thesearethingsyoucan beproudtodevelop.Theresadignitytothepracticethatyoudontfindinthe worldoutside.Butifyourelivinginaworldlyenvironment,whattheBuddha sayssoundslikeadream,lotsofniceideasbutnotallthatrealistic.Thatswhy youneedplaceslikethiswherethevaluesthattheBuddhateachesarerealistic. Itswhatlifehereatthemonasteryisallabout. Sobeingheregivesthemindachancetodevelopthesequalitiesandtosee thattheyreallydoleadtohappiness.Theyreallyareimportant,muchmoreso thanthethingstheworldholdstobeimportant.Thisiswhyphysicalseclusionis soessential.Yougetintouchwithyourselfouthere.Yougetintouchwith whatsreallyimportantinyourlife.Theissuesofbirth,aging,illness,anddeath becomeverylargeouthere.Intheworldtheordinaryworldtheseissuesget shuntedaside.Peopledonthavetimeforthem,andsowhenaging,illness,and deathdohit,itslikeabigsurprise.Themindisntprepared.Peoplegetblown

102 awayeventhougheveryoneknows,deepdowninside,thatthesethingshaveto happen.Yetwhenyouliveinasocietythatdoesntgiveyoutimetolookatthese things,toreflectonthem,andtoprepareforthem,youreallygetknockedto pieceswhentheycome.Soyouneedachancetogetoutandlookatwhatsreally importantinyourlifeandhowyouregoingtoprepareforthesethings. Thatswhatthemeditationisallaboutdevelopingagoodsolidbasisinthe mindthatcanwithstandthesethingswhentheycome.TheimagetheBuddha givesforthisbasisisofastonecolumn,eightcubitslong.Fourcubitsareburied downinthegroundinagoodsolidmountain.Fourcubitsareaboveground. Whenthewindcomes,thecolumndoesntshakeatall.Itdoesntevenshiver.No matterhowstrongthewind,nomatterwhichdirectionitscomingfrom,the stonecolumnstaysput.Thatsthekindofmentalstateyouneedinorderto withstandthesethingsandthatswhatyoudevelopinthecourseofthe meditation. Then,asweallknow,itsimportantthatyoudontcultivatethisskillonly whileyourehere,thisplaceofphysicalsolitude,butthatyoualsotakethisskill backwithyou.Manytimespeoplecometothemonasteryandsaythatitssucha reliefforthemindtobeouthereandtheydliketotakethatstateofmindwith themwhentheygoback.Well,youcanttakeastateofmindlikethatwithyou. Itsaresult.Whatyoucantakebackistheskill,thecauseofthatstateofmind. Itsnotjusttheenvironmentthatallowsittodevelop.Peoplecancomeouthere andstillhavetheirmindsatotalmess.Whatmakesthedifferenceisthatyou learnhowtomakeuseoftheenvironmenttodeveloptheskillsyouneedto straightenoutthingsinside.Theskillsarethethingsyoucantakebackwithyou whenyougohometheskillfulattitudes,theskillfulapproachestobringingthe mindundercontrol,givingitasenseofstabilityinside.Thesearetheimportant partsofthepracticethattrainthemindtostandonitsowntwofeet. Whenyouaskyourself,Whereisthebestplacetomeditate?,youranswer shouldbe,Righthere,whereveryouare.Thatsthebestplace.Thatstheideal. Butasyouregettingstarted,yourelikeachildlearningtorideabicycleyou needtrainingwheels,youneedhelp.Youcantjustjumponthebicycleandride offwithaperfectsenseofbalance.Youusethetrainingwheels,youusethe community,youusethepeacefulenvironmenttohelpgetthemindintheproper attitude.Thenyoutrytodevelopyourownskillssothatwhenthetraining wheelsaretakenaway,youcanridewitheaseandwontfallover. Whataresomeoftheseskills?Themostbasiconeisjustlearningtofocusthe mindononethingandtowithstandanytemptationtoletitgo.Thisisan importantskillyouneedwhateveryourworkis.Ifyoucanconcentrateonyour workanddontletthedistractionsgetinyourway,workgetsdoneanditgets doneproperly.Itsasolidpieceofwork,andnotjustlittlebitsandpiecesthat happentobethrowntogether,becausetheresacontinuity.Andwhenyoulearn howtofocusononethinglikethis,whenyoufocusinonthebreath,itchanges yourattitudetowardtheotherthoughtsthatcomeintothemind.Ifthemind

103 doesnthaveaparticularfocus,itcanwanderaroundfromthoughttothought, notreallynoticingwhatitsdoing,andnothavingasenseofdirection.Itgetslost goinginthewrongdirection,becauseeverydirectionisjustthedirectionwhere itsflowing. Butwhenyougiveitsomethingtoholdonto,youhaveasenseofdirection. Thenyoucanseehowsomethingspullyouawayandsomethingspullyou back.Itslikethedifferenceofbeingontheearthandbeingoutinouterspace. Whenyoureontheearth,theresadefinitesenseoforientationtheresnorth, south,east,andwest.Youvegottheearthasyourreferencepoint.Butifyoure outinouterspace,youdontknowwhichwayisup,whichwayisdown,north, south,east,westtheyhavenomeaningoutthere.Andthemindisjustadriftin thestellarcurrents.Butwhenyoureontheearth,whenyouvegotagoodbasis, thenyouhaveasensethat,Thiswayisnorth,thiswayissouth.Youhavea senseofthedirectionyouwanttogo,andyouknowwhenyoureheadinginthat directionandwhenyourenot. Thatswhyitscrucialtohaveacenterforthemind.Buttomaintainthat center,youhavetoenjoyit.Ifyoudont,itsimplybecomesonemoreburdento carryinadditiontoyourotherburdens,andthemindwillkeepdroppingit whenyourotherburdensgetheavy.Thisiswhywespendsomuchtime workingontheskillofplayingwiththebreath,makingitcomfortable,makingit gratifying,makingitfillyourbodywithasenseofease.Whenyouhavethat kindofinnernourishmenttofeedon,yourelesshungryforthingsoutside.You dontneedtofeedonthewordsandactionsofotherpeople.Youdonthaveto lookforyourhappinessthere.Whenyoucandevelopasenseofinnerfullness simplybythewayyoubreathe,themindcanstaynourishednomatterwhatthe situation.Youcansitinaboringmeetingandyetbeblissingoutandnobody elsehastoknow.Youcanwatchallthegoodandbadeventsaroundyouwitha senseofdetachmentbecauseyouhavenoneedtofeedonthem.Itsnotthat youreindifferentorapathetic,simplythatyourhappinessdoesnthavetogoup anddownwiththeupsanddownsofyourlife.Yourenotinapositionwhere peoplecanmanipulateyou,foryourenottryingtofeedonwhattheyhaveto offeryou.Youvegotyourownsourceoffoodinside. Atthesametime,whenyouhaveaninnercenterlikethistoholdonto,you developasenseofdissociationfromthethoughtsthatarisewithinthemind.You realizewhenyourefocusedonthebreathandathoughtcomesintothe minditsnotnecessarilyyouthinkingoryourthought,andyourenot necessarilyresponsibleforit.Youdonthavetofollowitandcheckitoutor straightenitout.Ifitcomesinhalfformed,justletitgoawayhalfformed.You donthavetoberesponsibleforit. Thisisanotherimportantskill,becauseifyoucanlearntostepbackfromthe thoughtsandemotionsthatcomeintothemindandnotsaythatthisismy thoughtorthisismyemotion,thenyoucanreallychoosewhichonesareworth holdingonto,whichonesshouldbeexplored,andwhichonesshouldbeletgo,

104 thatyoudonthavetodealwithatall.Somepeoplemaysaythatthats irresponsible,thatyouvegottocheckeverythingout.Well,thatsjustwhat theysay.Whatdotheyknow?:Thatsthekindofattitudeyouhavetodevelop. AstheBuddhasaid,hisownpracticereallygotstartedintherightdirection whenhedividedhisthoughtsintotwotypes:skillfulandunskillful.Whatthis meansishavingtheabilitytostepbackfromyourthoughtsandlookatthemnot intermsoftheircontent,butintermsofwheretheytakeyou.Ifyouhave thoughtsmotivatedbygreed,anger,delusion,passion,aversion,confusion, boredomwheredotheytakeyou?Well,theydonttakeyoutonibbana,thats forsure.Theydonttakeyouwhereyouwanttogo,soyoudecidetodissociate fromthem.Youdontdenythattheyexist,forthatwouldjustdrivethem underground.Youadmittheirexistencebutyourealizethatyoudonthaveto followthem.Youcanletthemgo,andtheypassawayfromthemind. Meanwhile,youlatchontomoreskillfulthinkingeitherthat,oryoulearnhow toletgoofthoughtsandjustkeepthemindstillwhereitdoesnthavetothink. Thisiswhereyougainasensethatyouremoreincontrolofyourmind,that yourenotsubjecttoeverythingthatcomespassingthrough. Mostpeoplesmindsarelikebusstations.Everyonewhowantstogothrough thebusstationhastherighttodoso.Andtheycandoallkindsofweirdthings whiletheyrethereinthebusstation:muggingpeople,havingsexinthe restroomstalls,shootingupheroinbackinthedarkcorners.Thatswhatmost peoplesmindsarelike.Youvegottomakeupyourmindtoturnyourmindinto ahome,aplacewhereyouhavetherighttoletthoughtsinornotletthemin,as youlikeorletthemjustgopassingon.Youcanclosethewindowsanddoors andletinonlyyourfriends.Youremoreincontrol.Andwhenyouhaveahome likethat,youcansettledownandbeateaseandatpeaceathome,ateaseandat peacewithyourownmind.Sothisisanimportantskilltotakewithyou whereveryougo.Itsnotaskillthatyouuseonlywhileyouresittingherewith youreyesclosed. Oneoftheessentialtechniquesyouneedinthisskillistheabilitytobreathe throughyourthoughts,becausewhenthoughtscomeheavywhentheycome reallystrongtheydontjustaffectthemind.Theyaffectthebodyaswell.Thats whywhenangercomesyouhaveastrongsensethatyouhavetogetitoutof yoursystembecauseitsgottenintothebody,intothewayyoubreathe,intothe patternsoftensioninthebody.Itbuildsupandgetshardtobear,soyoufeel youvegottogetitout.Mostpeoplethinkthatthewaytogetitoutistosay somethingordosomethingunderthepoweroftheanger,butthatdoesntsolve anythingatall.Whenwerewithourbreathingpractice,welearnhowbreathe throughthatpatternoftensioninthechestorthebellyandletitdisperse throughoutthebody.Onceitsdisperseditlosesitspower.Youfeelless oppressedbyit.Thenyoucanlookatthesituationfromacalmvantagepoint anddecidewhatshouldbedone.Doyouhavetosaysomething?Isthisthebest timetosayit,orisitbestleftunsaid?Howwillpeoplereactifyoutalknow?

105 Shouldyouwaittillalatertime?Youcangaugethesethingsclearly,whichyou cantdowhenyouvegotasenseofweightinessoroppressionfromtheanger insidethebody.Soyoubreathethroughthepatternsoftensioninthebody.Its animportantskillyouusenotonlywhileyourehere,butalsowhileyoureout working,whileyouredealingwithyourfamily,whateveryouredoinginthe worldatlarge. Itsimportanttorealizethattheskillsofmeditationareforusenotonlywhile youreonthecushionorsittingwithyourlegscrossedandyoureyesclosed. Theyrebasicskillsforgoverningyourownmind,lookingafteryourownmind, administeringthewaysyourmindworks,whetheryouresittingwithyoureyes closedoropen,whetheryourealoneordealingwithpeople,becauseitsthe samemind.Thedefilementsthatariseinthecourseofyourpracticeandthe defilementsthatariseinthecourseofdailylifearebasicallythesame defilements.Sometimesinsocietythedefilementsappearmoreunexpectedly, withmoreforceandagreatersenseofurgency,buttheycomedowntothesame thingifanunskillfulstatearisesinthemindandyoutreatitunskillfully,then youjustgowhereveritleadsyou.Butifyoulearnhowtodealskillfullyeven withtheunskillfulthingsthatcometodealskillfullywithfeelingsofpassion, feelingsofanger,yourownmisunderstandingsyoucantaketherawmaterial oflifeandturnitintosomethingfine. AsAjaanLeeoncesaid,Apersonwithintelligencetakeswhatevergetssent hisorherwayandmakessomethinggoodoutofit.Thisistheattitudeyouve gottoadoptbecausewelivealifefullofthepowerofkammaoldkammaand new.Youcantdoanythingaboutoldkamma.Youhavetoacceptitlikeagood sport.Thatswhyyoupracticeequanimity.Butasforthenewkammayoure creatingrightnow,youcantpracticeequanimitywiththat.Youhavetobevery concernedaboutwhatyoureputtingintothesystembecauseyourealizethat thisistheonlychanceyougettomakethechoice.Oncethechoiceismadeandit getsputintothesystem,thenwhatevertheenergypositiveornegativethats thesortofenergyyouregoingtohavetoexperience. Sopayattention:Whatareyouputtingintothesystemrightnow?Thisisthe importantthingtofocuson.Whateverotherpeopledotoyou,whateverarisesin yourbodyintermsofpains,illnesses,aging,death,orwhatever:Thatsold kammathatyousimplyhavetolearntotakewithgoodhumor,withasenseof equanimity.Asforwhatyoureputtingintothesystemrightnow,thatsserious business.Thatswhereyourattentionandeffortsshouldbefocused. SotheskillsyoupickupfromtheBuddhasteachingsarenotjusttechniques forsilentmeditation.Theyreskillfulattitudes,skillfulapproachesyoudevelop towhatsimportantinlife.Youwanttoapproachlifeasaskill,torealizethat thereisalwaysthepossibilityofdoingthingsskillfully.Youmaynothave perfectedit,butyoudontbeatyourselffornothavingtheperfectresponseto everysituation.Yourealizethattheresalwaystheopportunitytolearn.You makemistakes,youlearnfromthem.Thisisanormalpartoflife,andawiseway

106 oflivingistolearnfromyourmistakesandresolvenottorepeatthem.Learn fromwhatyouvedone.Noticewhenyoudothingscorrectly,noticewhenyou makemistakes,andtakethatinformationtoadjustyourpatternsofbehavior. Somepeoplecometothepracticeandsay,Well,thisisthekindofpersonI am.Ivejustgottobethisway.Thatattitudeclosesthedooronthepractice entirely.Youstartfromwhereyouare,butyouhavetobewillingtochange.If peoplecouldntchange,iftheyhadtostaythewaytheyare,theBuddhas teachingwouldbeinvain.Therewouldbenoreasontohavetheteachings becausetheyreallabouttransformation.Theyreallaboutlearning,developing, changingthewayyouapproachlife.FromtheBuddhistpointofview, acceptingyourselfmeansnotonlyadmittingwhereyouare,butalsoaccepting thatyouhavethepotentialtochange.Asyourapproachbecomesmoreandmore skillful,youredoinglessandlessharmtoyourself,lessharmtoothers,less harmtoboth.Youfindthatyouliveinawaythatbringsmorebenefitsfor yourself,morebenefitsforothers,morebenefitsforboth.Itmaytakemore energy,moreattention,butitsamuchmoreworthwhilewayofliving. Itslikebeinganexpertcarpenter.Youvegotvariouswaysofapproaching theproblemsthatariseinthemind.Yourealizethatthereareallkindsof problemsandtherearemanywaysofdealingwiththem.Ifyoutryjustone approach,itslikehavingatoolboxfullofnothingbutsaws.Youcantbuild anythingwiththat.Youcantbecalledadecentcarpenteratall.Butwhenyou realizethattherearewaysofdealingwithdifferentsituationsthatarise,and, throughyourownpowersofobservation,youdiscoverwhichwaysworkfor you,whichwaysgettherightresultsforyou:Thatscalledhavingafulltoolbox, withawiderangeoftools.Andwhenyouhavethosetoolsathand,youcanstay anywhere.Youcanstayinamonastery,youcanstayinahospital,youcanstay atwork,athome,inthiscountry,inanothercountry,thisworld,thenextworld, thislife,thenext.Thetoolsstaywithyouonceyouvedevelopedthem. Sofocusonthepracticeasawayofcollectingtools,developingskills,bothin termsoftechniquesinthemeditationandwholeattitudestowardyourlife. Thatsthemostworthwhileuseofyourtime.Thosearethebestthingstotake withyouwhenyougo.

107

MaintenanceWork
December,2002 Getyourbodyintoposition.Sitstraight,handsonyourlap.Closeyoureyes. Getyourmindinposition.Thinkaboutthebreathandbeawareofthe sensationofthebreathing. See?Itsnotallthathard.Justdoingitisnotthehardpart.Thehardpartisthe maintaining:keepingitthere.Thatsbecausethemindisntusedtostayingin position,justasthebodyisntusedtostayinginposition.Butthemindtendsto movealotfasterandtobealotmoreficklethanthebody,whichiswhywehave toworkextrahardatthatreallyhardaspectofthetraining:keepingthemindin oneplace,maintainingitinconcentration. AjaanLeeoncesaidtherearethreestepsinconcentrationpractice:doing, maintaining,andthenusingtheconcentration.Theusingisfun.Oncethemind hassettleddown,youcanuseitasabasisforunderstandingthings.You suddenlyseethemotionsofthemindasitcreatesthoughts,anditsafascinating processtowatch,totakeapart. Themaintaining,though,isntallthatfascinating.Youlearnalotofgood lessonsaboutthemindinthecourseofmaintaining,andwithoutthoselessons youcouldntdothemorerefinedworkofgaininginsight.Butstill,itsthemost difficultpartofthepractice.AjaanLeeoncecomparedittoputtingabridge acrossariver.Thepilingsonthisbankandthatbankarenthardtoplace,butthe pilingsinthemiddlearereallyhard.Youvegottowithstandthecurrentofthe river.Youdigdownandputafewstonesonthebottomoftheriverandyou comebackwithyournextloadofstonesonlytodiscoverthatthefirstloadof stoneshaswashedaway.Thisiswhyyouneedtechniquesforgettingthat middlesetofpilingstostayinplace,forotherwisethebridgewillneverget acrosstheriveratall. Sothisiswhatweworkat.Inthebeginning,theworkissimplyaquestionof noticingwhenthemindhasslippedoffandbringingitback.Whenitsslipped offagain,youbringitbackagain.Andagain.Andagain.Butifyoureobservant, youbecomesensitivetothesignsthattellyouwhenthemindisabouttoslipoff. Ithasntgoneyetbutitsgettingreadytogo.Itstensedupandreadytojump. Whenyoucansensethattension,yousimplyrelaxit.Meticulously.Andthat wayyoucankeepthemindmoreandmoreconsistentlywiththebreath. Beespeciallycarefulnottoaskwherethemindwasgoingtojump.Youcant giveintothattemptation.Sometimesthemindisgettingreadytojumpoffto somethingandyouwonder,Whereisitgoing?Anyplaceinteresting?Orwhen athoughtbeginstoform:Itsjustavague,inchoatesenseofathought,andthe mindputsalabelonit.Thenyouwanttosee,Doesthislabelreallyfit?And thatmeansyourefullyentangled.Ifyoulookmorecarefullyattheprocessof

108 whatshappening,youbegintorealizethatwhetherthelabelfitsornot,the mindhasatendencytomakeitfit.Soitsnotaquestionofwhetheritsatrue labelornot,butwhetheryouwanttofollowthroughwiththatprocessofmaking itfit.Andyoudonthaveto.Younoticealittlestirringinthemind,andyou donthavetolabelit.Orifyouvelabeledit,youdonthavetoaskwhetherthe labelistrueornot.Justletitgo.Thatwaythestirringcandisband. Now,whenthemindfinallydoessettledown,inthebeginningtherecanbea senseofrapture,asenseofaccomplishment,thatyouvefinallygottenthemind tostaywiththebreathforlongperiodsoftime,forlongerandlongerperiodsof time.Itfeelsreallyrefreshingtobethere.Thenyoumakeitagame,seeinghow quicklyyoucangetthere,howoftenyoucangetthere,whatotheractivitiesyou canbedoingatthesametime.HoweverandIdontwanttospoilitforyou therecomesatimewhenthisgetsboring,too. Itsboring,though,onlybecauseyouloseperspective.Everythingseemsso calm,everythingseemssosettled,andtheresapartofthemindthatgetsbored. Oftentimesthatsyourfirstobjectlessonininsight:Lookintotheboredom.Why isthemindboredwithastateofcalmandease?Afterall,themindisinitsmost secureplace,itsmostcomfortableplace.Whywouldpartofyouwanttogo lookingfortrouble,tostirthingsup?Lookintothat.Theresachanceforinsight rightthere. Or,youstarttellingyourself,Thisisreallystupid,justsittingherestill,still, calm,calm.Thisisntintelligentatall.Thatswhenyouhavetoremindyourself thatyoureworkingonafoundation.Thestrongerthefoundation,thenwhenthe timecomestobuildabuilding,thetalleritcango,themorestableitwillbe. Wheninsightscome,youwantthemtobesolidinsights.Youdontwantthemto knockyouaskew.Howcaninsightsknockyouaskew?Yougainaninsightand getsoexcitedaboutitthatyouloseperspective,forgettotakeitandlookonthe otherside.Whenaninsightcomes,AjaanLeealwaysrecommendsturningit insideout.Theinsightsays,Thismustbethis.Well,hesays,trythinkingabout whatifitwerenotthis.Whatifitweretheopposite?Wouldtherebealesson thereaswell?Inotherwords,justasyourenotsupposedtofallforthecontent ofyourthoughts,yourenotsupposedtofallforthecontentsofyourinsights, either. Thatrequiresreallystableconcentration,becausemanytimeswhenthe insightscometheyreverystriking,veryinteresting.Astrongsenseof accomplishmentcomeswiththem.Tokeepyourselffromgettingcarriedaway bythatsenseofaccomplishment,youwanttohaveyourconcentrationreally solidsothatitsnotimpressed.Itsnotbowledover.Itsreadytolookatthe othersideoftheinsight.Thisisonereasonwhyyouneedsolidconcentration,to workatthesteady,steadyjobofjustcomingback,staying,staying,keepingit still,keepingitstill. Thenthatoldquestionofperceptionbeginscomingupagain.Thewhole perceptionofyourstateofmindstartsgettingquestionable.Filethatoneaway

109 forfuturereference.AstheBuddhasaid,allthestatesofconcentration,allthe statesofjhana,upthroughthestateofnothingness,areperceptionattainments. Theperceptionyouapplytothemiswhatkeepsthemgoing.Andasyoustay withaparticularlevel,therestartstobeaslightsenseoftheartificialityofthe correspondingperception.Butwaituntiltheconcentrationisreallysolidbefore youstartquestioningit,fortheperceptioniswhatkeepsthestateof concentrationgoinganditisanartificialstatethatyourecreatinginthemind. Whenthetimecomesforinsight,oneofthetopicsthatyoullwanttofocusonis theartificialityofthatconcept,theartificialityoftheperceptionthatcreatesthe stateofconcentrationyouvebeenlivingwith.Forthetimebeing,though,just fileitawayforfuturereference.Ifyouquestionthingstooearly,everythinggets shortcircuited,andyourebacktowhereyoustarted. Soeventhoughtheworkofmaintainingconcentrationmayseemlike drudgeryworkjustcomingback,comingback,comingbackeverything dependsonthisqualityofconsistency,ofmaintenance.Getreallygoodatit, reallyfamiliarwithit.Themorefamiliaryouarewithit,themoreeasilyyoucan useitasthebasisforinsightwhenthetimecomes. TheresapassagewheretheBuddhatalksaboutameditatorwhosemindhas attainedareallysolidstageofequanimity.Whenyouresolidinyour equanimity,yourealizethatyoucanapplyittodifferentthings.Youcanapplyit tothesenseofinfinitespace.Youcanapplyittothesenseofinfinite consciousnessornothingness.Onceyourecognizepreciselywherethose perceptionsare,preciselyhowyoucanfocusonthemandstaythereforlong, longtimes,youllsuddenlygaininsightintohowconstructedtheyare. Inthebeginningitsveryobvioushowconstructedtheyarebecauseyoure workingsohardtoputthemtogether.Butasyougetmoreandmorefamiliar withthem,theresagreatersensethatyouresimplytuningintosomething alreadythere.Youremoreimpressedbythealreadytherenessofthestate. Youbegintooverlooktheactoftuninginbecauseitgetseasierandeasier,more andmorenaturalbutitsstillthere,theelementofconstruction,theelementof fabricationthatkeepsyouthere.Whentheconcentrationgetsreallysolidsothat youcanlookintoiteveninitsmostrefinedstate,thatswhentheinsightreally hitsyou:howconstructedthisis,howartificialthewholethingisthisstate youvelearnedtodependon.Andonlythenistheinsightmeaningful. Ifyoustartanalyzingstatesofconcentrationintermsofthethree characteristicsbeforeyouvereallydependedonthosestates,beforeyouve reallygottenfamiliarwiththem,itshortcircuitsthewholeprocess.Ohyes, concentrationisunstable.Well,anyonecansitandmeditatefortwominutes andlearnthat,anditdoesntmeanverymuch.Butifyoudeveloptheskillso thatyourereallysolidlywithit,youtestthatprincipleofinconstancy.How constantcanyoumakethisstateofthemind?Ultimately,yougettothepoint whereyourealizethatyouvemadeitasconstantasyoucouldevermakeit,as

110 reliableasyoucouldevermakeit,andyetitstillfallsunderthethree characteristics.Itsstillconstructed. Thatswhenthemindstartstendingtowardtheunconstructed,the unfabricated.Ifyouvebroughtthemindtostillenoughastateofequilibrium, youcanstopfabricatingandthingsopenup.Itsnotjustanintentionofsaying, Well,Imgoingtoputastoptothis.Itsamatteroflearninghowequilibrium happenswithoutanynewintentiontakingitsplace.Thatswheretherealskill lies.Thatswhywespendsomuchtimegettingthemindintobalance,balance, balance,foronlyinarealstateofbalancelikethatcanyoutotallyletgo. Somepeoplehavetheconceptionthatmeditationisaboutgettingthemind intoareallyextremestatewherethingsbreakthrough.Bringittothetotal edgeofinstabilityandthensuddenlyyoubreakthroughtosomethingdeeper. Thatswhattheysay.ButIveyettofindtheBuddhadescribeitthatway.For himitsmoreaquestionofbringingthemindtoastateofbalancesothatwhen thetimecomestostopfabricating,theminddoesnttipoverinanydirectionat all.Itsrightthere. Sothesequalitiesofconsistency,persistence,sticktoitivedness,trainingthe mindsoitcanreallytrustitself,dependonitself,relyonitselfinthemidstofall theinconstancyintheworld:Thesearethequalitiesthatmakeallthedifference inthemeditation.

111

SensitivityAlltheTime
November,2002 Trytobepresentthroughoutthewholebreath,eachbreath,allthewayin,all thewayout. Weliketothinkthatifwehaditallfiguredout,wewouldnthavetopayso muchattentionthatifthereweresomeformulawecouldmemorize,thatin itselfwouldtakecareofthingssowewouldnthavetoputsomucheffortinto themeditation,putsomucheffortintobeingpresent.Wedlikejusttopluginto theformulaandletthingsgoonautomaticpilotbutthatsmissingthepoint. Thepointisbeingattentive,payingcarefulattention,beingsensitive,allthetime. ThisisaqualitytheBuddhacallscitta:intentness,attentiveness,reallygiving yourselffullytowhatyouredoingrightnow.Whenyoureintent,insightcomes notasaformulathatallowsyoutobeinattentive,butasasensitivitytowhats goingonrightnowsoyoucanreadwhatshappening,continually.Inother words,youretryingtostrengthenthisqualityofbeingattentive,thisqualityof beingpresent,becausewhenyourereallypresentyoudontneedalltheother formulas.Yourecognizethesignsofwhatsgoingon:whenthebreathistoo long,whenthebreathistooshort,whenthebreathenergyinthebodyistoo sluggish,whenitstooactive.Beingattentiveiswhatenablesyoutonoticethese things,tobesensitivetothem,toreadwhattheyretellingyou. Sotheinsightsyougainarenotnecessarilywisesayingsthatyoucanwrite downinlittlebooksofwisdom.Insightisagreaterandgreatersensitivityto whatsgoingon.Dontthinkthatyoudliketohavethingsexplained beforehand,ortositheretryingtocomeupwithlittlerulesormemoryaids: Well,whenthishappens,youshoulddothis;andthen,whenthathappens,you shoulddothat.Youretryingtodevelopthequalityofbeingabletolisten,able toreadwhatshappeninginthepresentmoment,allthetime,sothatyouwont needthosememoryaids. Ifyourelookingforthelittleformulasorthelittlenuggetsofwisdomthat youcanwrapupandtakehome,inhopesthattheyllallowyoutodropthe effortthatgoesintobeingsoattentive,itsliketheoldstoryofthegooselaying thegoldenegg.Yougetagoldeneggandthenyoukillthegoose.Thatstheend oftheeggs.Thegoosehereistheabilitytostayattentive,tobepresent,tobe fullyengagedinwhatshappeningwiththebreath.Theinsightswillcomeon theirownyoukeepproducing,producing,producingtheinsightsnotforthe sakeoftakinghomewithyou,butforthesakeofusingthemrighthere,right now.Youdonthavetobeafraidthatyourenotgoingtorememberthemforthe nexttime.Ifyourereallyattentive,yoursensitivitywillproducethefresh insightsyouneednexttime.Itwillkeepdeveloping,becominganabilitytoread thingsmoreandmorecarefully,moreandmoreprecisely,sothatyouwont

112 havetomemorizeinsightsfromthepast.Itwillkeepservingthemup,hotand fresh. Likesailingaboat:Whenyoufirstgetoutintheboatandtheygiveyouthe rudder,itdoesnttakelongbeforeyoufliptheboatoverbecauseyousteertoo hardtotheright,steertoohardtotheleft.Youdonthaveasenseofwhatsjust right.Butifyoupayattentiontowhatyouredoing,afterawhilethatsenseof justrightdevelops.Andthenexttimeyougetintotheboat,itsnotthatyou havetorememberanyverballessonsyoulearnedfromthelasttime.The sensitivityisthereinyou:theabilitytoreadhowmuchpressureyoushouldput ontherudderatthispoint,whenthishappens,whenthathappens.Theres agreaterandgreaterfamiliaritythatcomesfrombeingfullyattentive. Thesameprincipleapplieshere.Itsnotthecasethatyouregoingtobefully attentiveforfiveminutesandlearnwhateverlessonsyouregoingtoneedforthe hourandthenjustzoneoutorgoonautomaticpilot.Youhavetobeasattentive tothefirstbreathasyouaretothelastbreath,asattentivetothelastbreathas youaretothefirst,andallthebreathsinbetween.Asthisqualityofattentiveness growsstronger,yoursensitivitygrowsstronger.Thereslessandlessofa consciouseffort,butitdoesntmeanthatyourelesspresent.Itsjustthatyoure moreskilledatbeingpresent,moreskilledatbeingsensitive,readytolearn whateverlessonstherearetolearn. Michaelangeloattheageof87reportedlysaidthathewasstilllearninghow tosculpt.Well,thatshouldbeyourattitudeasyoumeditate.Therearealways thingstolearn.Evenarahantshavethingstolearn.Theyvelearnedenough alreadytoovercometheirdefilements,buttheyrestilllearningotherthings becausetheyreattentiveallthetime.Theyrewatchingwhatsgoingon.Their sensitivityhasbeenheightened. Whenpeopletalkaboutthepathbeingidenticalwiththegoal,thereisan elementoftruththere,inthesensethatwhenyoureachthegoalyoudontthrow awayallthethingsyoudidwhenyouwereonthepath.Thetextssaythateven arahantspracticethefourfoundationsofmindfulness,notbecausetheyhave anythingmoretodointermsofuprootingtheirdefilements,butbecausethe practiceofmindfulnessprovidesapleasantabidinginthehereandnow.Itsa goodplacetobe.Atthesametime,iftheyhavetoteachotherpeople,theyuse thesensitivitiestheyvedevelopedintheirmeditationandapplythemtothe processofteaching. Sodontsitheresaying,Well,IlljuststaywiththebreathuntilIgetthe resultsIwant,andthenIcanstopthiseffort.Youreworkingwiththequalities thataregoingtotakeyouthereandthataregoingtostaywithyouonceyou arrive:thequalitiesofmindfulness,alertness,discernmentallthegood qualitieswereworkingonhere.Youwanttobringthemmoreandmoretobear onwhatyouredoingineverysituation.Theygetstrongerandstronger,and theygiveyouthesensitivityyouneedtocutthroughanydefilementsyou encounter.Theygiveyouthesensitivityyouneedtofindmorestablestatesof

113 concentration,tofigureoutthetechniquesyouneedinordertogetthemindto settledownwhenitsobstreperous. Butagain,onceyouvelearnedthoselessons,itsnotthecasethatyoucan turnofftheefforttobesensitive,theefforttobefullyengaged.Itsjustthatyou learnhowtobemoreandmorecomfortablebeingengaged,sothatwhatever lessonscomeup,whateverthingsyouhavetoreadwithinyourself,whatever thingsyouhavetolistentowithinyourself,yourereadytolisten.Yourealertto thesignsthatyouhavetodecipherwhenyouread. Sodowhatyoucantokeepthisgoosealiveandwellsoitcankeeplayingthe goldeneggsyouneed.Youcrackopenthegoldeneggandtheresalessonfor youtouserightthere,rightthen.Youdonthavetoworryaboutmakinga stockpileofgoldeneggs,becauseitsafunnykindofgold,likethegoldinafairy tale.Youturnaround,andafewminuteslateritsturnedintofeathersorstraw. Butifyourereallyattentive,thegooseisreadytolayanothergoldenegg.So keepnourishingit,tendingtoit,sothatitcankeepproducing.Usetheeggsfor theirintendedpurposeandthenjustletthemgo.Doyourbesttokeepthismind stategoingsothatitsreadytolayanotheregg,togiveyoumoregoldallthe time.

114

ThePathofQuestions
July,2001

Letthemindsettledowncomfortablyonthebreath.Dontpushittoohard anddontletitfloataway.Trytofindjusttherightamountofpressurefor stayingwiththebreath.Lettherebejustthatonequestioninthemindrightnow: howheavilytofocusonthebreath.Otherquestionsyoucanputaside,because mostoftheotherquestionsyouwouldbefocusingonnowwouldsimplyfoster doubt.Thequestionsdealingwiththemindandthebreathinthepresent moment:Thosearetheonesthatarerelevantbecauseyoucananswerthemby lookingrighthere,rightnow. Thepointofourpracticeistogaindiscernmentthatleadstoliberation,that leadstorelease.Butbeforewegettothatlevelofdiscernmentwehavetotrain thediscernmentwehaveineverylevelofthepractice. ThismorningwereadapassagebyAjaanLeeinwhichhetalksabouthow generosity,virtue,andmeditationbothdependupondiscernmentandgiveriseto discernment.Inotherwords,youhavetouseyourdiscernmentineachofthese levelsofthepractice.Itsnotthatyouhavetowaituntiltheveryendfor discernmenttolandonyou.Youtakethediscernmentyouhave;youexerciseit; itgetsstronger.Itsjustlikeexercisingyourbody.Ifyouwantastrongbody, whatdoyoudo?Youtaketheweakbodyyouvegot,exerciseit,anditturnsinto astrongerbody,stepbystepbystepbecauseyoureusingit.Butthatalsomeans learninghowtoexerciseitproperly.Youdontexerciseittooheavilytothepoint whereyoupullatendonortearamuscle. Soateachlevelofthepracticetherearequestionsyouwanttoasktofoster discernmentappropriatetothatlevelofthepractice.Whenyourepracticing generosityyouhavetoask,What,rightnow,isjustright?HowmuchcanI afford?Howmuchisgivingtoomuch?Inwhatwayismygiftgoingtobemost beneficial,mosteffective?IfIdonthavemuchtogiveintermsofmaterial things,whatelsecanIgive?Thegiftofyourtimeandenergy,thegiftof forgiveness,cansometimesbemanytimesbemoreusefulthanthegiftof materialthings. Thatsthedevelopmentofskill,insight,anddiscernmentonthelevelof generosity.Then,ontheleveloftheprecepts,youworkuptoahigherlevel. HowamIgoingtomaintainmypreceptsindifficultsituations?Say,when peopleaskquestionsthatyouknowaregoingtobeharmfulifyouanswerthem, howareyougoingtoavoidtheanswersothatyoudontlie?Orhowareyou goingtoliveinyourhousesothatyoudonthavetokillpests?Onceyouvelaid downthelawforyourselfOkay,thesearetheprinciplesImgoingtohold toyousuddenlyfindyourselfwithawholenewsetofquestions.Youllneed ingenuityanddiscernmenttoanswerthem.Andasyoucomeupwithanswers

115 usingwhateveringenuityyouhave,youfindthatyouringenuityand discernmentgetstronger. Thesameprincipleholdswithmeditation.Eachstepinyourmeditation requirescertainquestions.Youtakethequestionsbitbybitbybit,stepbystep andyoufindthatthemeditationbothrequiresdiscernmentandstrengthens discernmentasyouuseit.Forinstance,whenyourefocusingonthebreath,you askasimplequestion:Whatkindofbreathingfeelsgoodrightnow?Andthen youexplore.Yourefreetoexperimentwiththebreath,tofindoutiflong breathingfeelsgood,ifshortbreathingfeelsgood,deepbreathing,shallow. Theresanelementofinvestigationalreadyeveninthesimplepracticeof concentration.Itsnotthatyoumakethemindreally,reallystillandthen,allofa sudden,discernmentsgoingtogoofflikeaflashbulb.Therehastobesome discernmentinvolvedintheprocessofgettingthemindtosettledown.Asthe Buddhasaid,theresnojhanawithoutdiscernment,nodiscernmentwithout jhana.Thetwohavetogotogether,tohelpeachotheralong. Discernmenthereislearningwhichthingstodevelopandwhichtoletgo. Youstartoutwithreallysimplethings.Youhavetofocusonwhatthebreathing islike,whatkindofbreathingthebodyneedsrightnow.Ifyourenergylevel feelslow,whatkindofbreathingwillraisetheenergylevel?Ifyoufeeltoo frenetic,whatkindofbreathingcancalmyoudown?Iftherearepainsin differentpartsofthebody,areyoubreathinginawaythatsactually augmentingorcausingthosepains? Thesearethingsyoucanexplore.Whatyouredoingistakingyourthinking process,thequestioningprocessofthemind,andlearninghowtouseit skillfully.Meditationisnotamatterofstoppingyourthoughtprocessesright away.Eventuallytheredoescomeapointwherethinkinggetsmoreandmore attenuateduntilyoucanhardlycallitthinkingatall.Butinthemeantime, beforeyoucangetthere,youhavetolearnhowtouseyourthinkingskillfully,so youapplyittotheissueofconcentration,applyittotheissueofsettlingthe minddown. ThisisabasicprincipleinalotoftheBuddhasteachings.Inordertolearn howtoletgoofsomething,youvegottolearnhowtodoitskillfully.This principledoesntapplytosex,butitdoesapplytoalotofotherthings.For instance,sometextstalkaboutgoingbeyondpreceptsandpracticesinthe practice,butbeforeyoucangobeyondthemyouhavetolearnhowtomaintain yourpreceptswithskill.SomeZentextstalkaboutlettinggoofthe discriminatingmind,butbeforeyouletgoofthediscriminatingmindyouhave tolearnhowtouseitproperly.Beforelearninghowtoletgoofdesire,youhave tolearnhowtouseyourdesireproperly.Focusitonthecausesthatwillgetyou whereyouwanttogo.Theunskillfuluseofdesiremeansfocusingsomuchon theresultsyouwantthatyouignorethecauses.Youwanttoskipoverthem. Thatkindofdesireisunskillful.Yourenotgoingtogetbeyonddesirebyjust droppingunskillfuldesires.Youhavetolearnhowtoreplaceunskillfuldesires

116 withskillfulones,focusedonthecausesthatwilltakeyouwhereyouwanttogo. Then,whenyouvearrived,theissueofdesirefallsaway. Sorightnowfocusyourdesireonwhatwilltakeyoutoconcentration.This meansbeingmindfultokeepthebreathinmind,andbeingalert,watchingthe breath.Agoodwaytodothatistoaskyourselfquestionsaboutthebreathand howyoucanrelatetoithereinthepresentmoment.Ifyouweretomakethenext breathalittlebitlonger,whatwouldhappen?Tryitandfindout.Howabouta littlebitshorter,deeper,stronger,morerefined?Justaskthosequestionsofthe mind.Dontputalotofphysicalpressureonthebreath.Justaskthequestion andyoullfindthatsimplyaskingthequestionopensupthepossibility. Thisiscalledappropriateattentionyonisomanasikara,learninghowtoask skillfulquestionsanditsessentialtothewholepractice.Infactthefirst questionyouresupposedtoaskwhenyougotomeetanewteacheris:Whatis skillful?Whatisnotskillful?What,ifIdoit,willbeformylongtermhappiness? What,ifIdoit,willbeformylongtermsuffering? Youtakethosequestions,usuallystartingonthelevelofthepreceptsor generosity,andworkdowndeeperanddeeperintothemind.Thatshowthe deeperlevelsofconcentrationareattained.Thediscernmentthatgivesriseto liberationcomesinaswell,bylearninghowtoaskthequestionWhatsthe skillfulthingtodonow? Now,inordertoaskthosequestionsfromtheveryrefinedlevelsofthemind, youhavetostartbyaskingthemfrommoreblatantlevelsinyourdailylife.This iswhytheBuddhasteachingisnotabouthowsoonwecangettheexperienceof Awakening,howsoonwecangetthefeelingofonenesssowecangoonwiththe restofourlife.Thatsnotitatall.Youhavetotrainyourwholeapproachtolife. Whatsthemostskillfulthingtodorightnow?Whatsthemostskillfulthingto say?Whatsthemostskillfulthingtothink?Learnhowtokeepaskingthese questions,lookingfortheanswers,learningfromyourmistakestimeandagain, sothatyougraduallydobecomemoreskillfulontheouterlevels. Youfindthatthathabitbeginstotakerootinyourmind.Then,asyoure sittingheremeditating,itbecomesanautomaticquestion:Whatsthemost skillfulwaytorelatetothebreath?Whatsthemostskillfulwaytorelatetothe presentmoment?Youexperiment.Youtest.Youcomeupwithanswers.And thenyoutesttheanswers. Soitsabasicprocessthatstartsfromtheoutsideandworksin.Ultimatelyit leadstothediscernmentthatliberatesthemindtotallyfromsuffering.Thatsthe pointweallwanttogetto.Butitsnotamatterofsimplysittinghereand waitinguntilitcomes.Liberatingdiscernmentcomesfromtheprocessof questioningandprobingandlookingandgettingthemindtosettledownandbe reallystillandasking,Whyistherestilladisturbanceinthere?Whatactsof mind,whatdecisionsarecreatingthatdisturbance?Sometimesthedisturbance isonaverysubtlelevel.Whatdecisionsarestillgettingintheway?Youlook andyouwatchandyouhavetobeverypatient.

117 AjaanKhamdee,oneoftheforestajaans,oncemadeacomparison.Hesaid thatmeditatingislikebeingahunter.Thehuntergoesoutintheforestand,on theonehand,hastobeverystillsohedoesntscareofftherabbitsandother animals,butatthesametimehehastobeveryalert.Hisearsandeyeshavetobe verysharp.AndthehuntercantsayWell,okay,Imjustgoingtositherefor halfanhourandIllbagmyrabbit.Hehasnoideahowlongitsgoingtotake buthemaintainsthatattitudeofquietalertness.Thesameinyourmeditation: Theconcentrationiswhatkeepsyouquiet;thatlittlequestioniswhatkeepsyou alert.Andthecombinationofthetwowhenyougetthemjustright:Thatwill leadtoAwakening.

118

AdmirableFriendship
November13,2002 PracticingtheDhammaisprimarilyanissueoflookingatyourself,lookingat yourownthoughts,yourownwords,yourowndeeds,seeingwhatsskillful, seeingwhatsnot.Itsnotsomuchanissueofselfimprovementasoneofaction improvement,wordimprovement,andthoughtimprovement.Thisisan importantdistinction,becausepeopleinthemodernworldespeciallyinthe modernworldseemtobeobsessedwithselfimage.Wevespentourlives bombardedwithimages,andyoucanthelpbutcompareyourimageofyourself totheimagesofpeopleyouseeoutsideyou.Andforthemostparttheresno comparison:Yourenotasstrong,asbeautiful,aswealthy,asstylish,andso forth.InoticedinThailandthat,assoonastelevisionbecamerampant,teenagers becameverysullen.Ithinkitslargelythisissueofpeopleslookingat themselvesincomparisontotheimagesbroadcastatthem.Andthewhole questionofselfimagebecomesverysensitive,verypainful.Sowhenwesaythat yourelookingatyourself,rememberyourenotlookingatyourself.Youre lookingatyourthoughts,words,anddeeds.Trytolookatthemasobjectivelyas possible,getthewholeissueofselfoutoftheway,andthenitbecomesalot easiertomakeimprovements. Thesameappliestoyourdealingswithotherpeople.TheBuddhasaidthere aretwofactorsthathelpmostinthearisingofdiscernment,thathelpyoumost alongthepath.Theforemostinternalfactorisappropriateattention.The foremostexternalfactorisadmirablefriendship.Anditsimportantthatyou reflectonwhatadmirablefriendshipmeans,becauseeventhoughyoure supposedtobelookingatyourownthoughts,words,anddeeds,yourealso lookingatthethoughts,words,anddeedsofthepeoplearoundyou.Afterall, youreyesarefixedinyourbodysothattheypointoutside.Youcanthelpbut seewhatotherpeoplearedoing.Sothequestionishowyoucanmakethis knowledgemostusefultoyourselfasyoupractice.Andthisiswherethe principleofadmirablefriendshipcomesin. Tobeginwith,itmeansassociatingwithadmirablepeople,peoplewhohave admirablehabits,peoplewhohavequalitiesthatareworthyofadmiration.One listputsthesequalitiesatfour:Admirablepeoplehaveconvictioninthe principleofkamma,theyrevirtuous,theyregenerous,andtheyrediscerning. TheresawellknownlinefromDogenwherehesays,Whenyouwalkthrough themist,yourrobegetswetwithoutyoureventhinkingaboutit.Thatshis descriptionoflivingwithateacher.Youpickuptheteachershabitswithout thinkingaboutit,butthatcanbeadoubleedgedswordbecauseyourteachercan havebothgoodandbadhabits,andyouneedtobecarefulaboutwhichonesyou pickup.

119 Soinadditiontoassociatingwithadmirablepeople,theBuddhasaysthere aretwofurtherfactorsinadmirablefriendship.Oneisthatyouaskthesepeople aboutissuesofconviction,virtue,generosity,discernment.Andthisdoesnt necessarilymeanjustaskingtheteacher.Youcanaskotherpeopleinthe communitywhohaveadmirablequalitiesaswell.Seewhatspecialinsightsthey haveonhowtodevelopthosequalities.Afterall,theyveobviouslygot experience,andyoudbewisetopicktheirbrains. Thesecondfactoristhatifyouseeanythinginotherpeopleworthemulating, youemulateit,youfollowit,youbringthatqualityintoyourownbehavior.So thismakesyouresponsibleforyourendofadmirablefriendship,too.Youcant sitaroundsimplyhopingtosoakupthemist,waitingforittoblowyourway. Youhavetobeactive.RememberthatpassageintheDhammapadaaboutthe spoonnotknowingthetasteofthesoup,whilethetonguedoesknowthetaste. Butagain,whenlookingatpeoplearoundyou,itsimportantthatyouget awayfromyoursenseofcompetitiveness,ofthispersonversusthatperson.You look,notatthem,butattheiractivities.Otherwiseyoustartcomparingyourself totheotherperson:ThispersonsbetterthanIam.ThatpersonsworsethanI am.Andthatbringsinquestionsofconceit,resentment,andcompetition,which arenotreallyhelpfulbecausewerenotheretocompetewitheachother.Were heretoworkonourselves.Soagain,lookatotherpeoplesimplyintermsoftheir thoughts,theirwords,theiractions.Andseewhatsanadmirableaction,what areadmirablewords,whatareadmirableideas,onesyoucanemulate,onesyou canpickup.Inthiswaythefactthatwerelivingtogetherbecomesahelptothe practiceratherthanahindrance. Thesameistruewhenyounoticepeoplearoundyoudoingthingsthatare notsoadmirable.Insteadofjudgingtheotherperson,simplyjudgetheactions bytheirresults:thatthatparticularaction,thatparticularwayofthinkingor speakingisnotveryskillful,foritobviouslyleadstothisorthatundesirable result.Andthenturnaroundandlookatyourself,atthethingsyoudoandsay: Arethoseunskillfulwordsandactionstobefoundinyou?Lookatthebehavior ofotherpeopleasamirrorforyourownbehavior.Whenyoudothis,eventhe difficultiesoflivinginacommunitybecomeanaidtothepractice. TheBuddhadesignedthemonkhoodsothatmonkswouldhavetimealone butalsohavetimetogether.Ifyouspentallofyourtimealone,youdprobably gocrazy.Ifyouspentallofyourtimetogether,lifewouldstartgettingmoreand morelikedormlifeallthetime.Soyouhavetolearnhowtobalancethetwo. Learnhowtodevelopyourowngoodqualitiesonyourownandatthesame timeusetheactionsandwordsofotherpeopleasmirrorsforyourself,tocheck yourself,toseewhatoutthereisworthemulating,toseewhatoutthereisclearly unskillful.Andthenreflectonyourself,DoIhavethoseadmirablequalities?Do Ihavethoseunskillfulqualitiesinmythoughts,wordsanddeeds?Ifyouvegot thoseunskillfulqualities,youvegotworktodo.Ifyoudonthavetheadmirable ones,youvegotworktodothereaswell.

120 Whatsinterestingisthatinbothoftheseinternalandexternalfactorsboth inappropriateattentionandinadmirablefriendshiponeofthecrucialfactorsis questioning.Inotherwords,inappropriateattentionyoulearnhowtoask yourselfquestionsaboutyourownactions.Inadmirablefriendshipyouaskthe otherpeopleyouadmireaboutthequalitiestheyembody.Ifyoufindsomeone whoseconvictionisadmirable,youaskthatpersonaboutconviction.Ifyoufind someonewhoseeffortandpersistenceareadmirable,youaskhimabout persistence.Inotherwords,youtakeaninterestinthesethings.Thethingsthat weaskquestionsabout,thosearethethingswereinterestedin,thosearethe thingsthatdirectourpractice.Anditsthecombinationofthetwo,theinternal questioningandtheexternalquestioning,thatgetsuspointedintheright direction. Sothisissomethingtothinkaboutasyougothroughthedayandyousee someoneelsedoingsomethingthatgetsyouupsetorsomethingthatoffends you.Dontfocusontheotherperson;focusontheactioninandofitself,aspart ofacausalprocess,andthenturnaroundandlookatyourself.If,inyourmind, youcreateotherpeopleoutthere,youcreatealotofproblems.Butifyousimply seelifeinthecommunityasanopportunitytowatchtheprincipleofcauseand effectasitplaysitselfout,theproblemsvanish. Thesamewithadmirablepeople:Youdontgetjealousoftheirgood qualities;youdontgetdepressedaboutthefactthatyoudonthavetheirgood qualities.Wheredogoodqualitiescomefrom?Theycomefrompersistence,from effort,fromtraining,whichissomethingwecanalldo.Soagain,ifyousee somethingadmirableinotherpeople,askthemaboutit,andthentrytoapply thoselessonsinyourownlife.Ifwegothroughlifewithoutaskingquestions,we learnnothing.Ifweaskthewrongquestions,wegooffthepath.If,withpractice, welearnhowtoasktherightquestions,thatsthefactorthathelpsusgetour practicerightontarget. Ioncereadamansreminiscencesabouthischildhoodinwhichhesaidthat everyday,whenhedcomehomefromschool,hismothersfirstquestionwould be,Whatquestionsdidyouaskinschooltoday?Shedidntask,Whatdidyou learn?Whatdidtheteacherteach?Sheasked,Whatquestionsdidyouask? Shewasteachinghimtothink.Soattheendofthedaywhenyoustoptoreflect onthedaysactivities,thatsagoodquestiontoaskyourself:Whatquestions didIasktoday?WhatanswersdidIget?Thatwayyougettoseewhich directionyourpracticeisgoing.

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HeighteningtheMind
July,2001 TheBuddhaconcludedoneofhismostimportanttalkswiththephrase, adhicittecaayogo,commitmenttotheheightenedmind.Whatthismeansisthat weliftthemindaboveitsordinaryconcerns,aswhenwecomeheretopractice meditation.Ournormalcaresofthedaylookingafterourownbodies,feeding them,lookingafterotherpeople,beingconcernedwithwhatotherpeoplethink aboutus,howweinteractwiththem,alltheconcernsofthedayweputthose down,liftourmindabovethem,andbringittothemeditationobject. Whenyoulookattheaffairsoftheworld,youseethattheyspinaroundjust astheworlddoes.Theresaclassiclistofeight:gainandloss,statusandlossof status,criticismandpraise,pleasureandpain.Thesethingskeeptradingplaces. Youcanthavethegoodoneswithoutthebadones.Youcanthavethebadones withoutthegood.Theykeepchangingplaceslikethis,aroundandaround,and ifweallowourmindstogetcaughtupinthemitslikegettingourclothes caughtupinthegearsofamachine.Theykeeppullingusin,pullingusin.Ifwe dontknowhowtodisentangleourselves,theykeeppullingusinuntilthey mangleourarms,mangleourlegs,crushustobits.Inotherwords,ifweallow thesepreoccupationstoconsumethemind,themindgetsmangledanddoesnt haveachancetobeitsownself. Wedontevenknowwhatthemindislikeonitsownbecauseallweknowis themindasaslavetothesethings,runningaroundwherevertheyforceit.So whenwecometomeditate,wehavetolearntoliftourmindabovethesethings. Allthoughtsofpastandfutureweputaside.Wejustbringthemindtothe breathsotheminddoesnthavetospinaroundanymore.Itsimplystayswiththe breathcomingin,goingout,andgainsatleastsomemeasureoffreedom.From thisheightenedperspectivewecanlookatournormalinvolvementwiththe worldandbegintorealizethat,forthemostpart,itdoesntgoanywhere.Itjust keepsspinningaround,comingbacktothesameoldplacesoverandoverand overagain.Allthatgetsaccomplishedisthatthemindgetsmoreandmoreworn out. Ifweallowthemindtoriseabovethesethingssothatitdoesntfeedonthem, doesntrunafterthem,wellbegintogetsomesenseofthemindsworth,inand ofitself.Asthemindgetsstill,thingsbegintosettleout.Likesedimentinaglass ofwater:Ifyouallowthewatertostaystillforatime,whateversedimentisin therefinallysettlesoutandthewaterbecomesclear. Thisiswhathappenswhenyouletthemindseparatefromitsordinary concernsandsimplystaywithitsmeditation.Evenwhenyougobackintoyour normalactivities,youllhaveasenseofthemind,yourawareness,assomething

122 separate.Thissenseofseparateisaveryimportantpartofthepractice.Itspart ofthedaytodayworkofpracticingtheDhamma. Weallcometothepracticehopingthatsomedaysomereallygreat experiencesaregoingtohituswhileweremeditating.Well,theyrenotgoingto hitunlessyoudothedaytodaypractice.ThisiswhytheBuddhainsistedthat therearefournobletruths,notjustthetruthofthecessationofsuffering,butalso thetasksofunderstandingsuffering,abandoningitscause,anddevelopingthe path.Theseareallveryimportantpartsoftheteaching.Theyreallnobletruths. Thedevelopmentofthepathislargelytwothings.One,developingqualities thatenhancethemindsabilitytoknow,tobeaware.Andthen,two,learning howtoletgoofthingsthatareburdensometothemind.Thisiswhatitmeansto heightenthemind.Onceyouletgooftheburdens,themindgetslighterand beginstoriseabovethings.Learninghowtodothisinallactivitiesisvery importantbecausewhenthereallyTechnicolorexperienceshitinthemeditation, ifyoucantriseabovethemyourejustgoingtofallforthem,too.Andthey eventuallyleadyoubackintotheworldagain.Yourattachmentsleadyouback. Soalargepartofthepracticeislearninghowtoliftyourmind,stagebystage. Youliftitaboveyourordinary,everydayactivitiesandyougetintoagoodstate ofconcentration.Inthebeginning,themindandtheobjectseemtobecomeone whenyourereallyabsorbed.Butasyouallowthemindtostayinthatstatefora while,itbeginstoseparateoutaswell.Youbegintoseetheobjectasonething, yourawarenessassomethingelse,andalthoughtheyrerightnexttoeachother theyareseparatethings. Thisiswhatenablesthemindtogaininsightbothintotheworkingsofthe mindandintotheworkingsofitsobjects.Italsodevelopsthehabitoflearning howtoletgo,stagebystage.Yourisefromonelevelofconcentrationtothenext tothenext.Youpullback.Theimageinthetextsisofapersonsittinguplooking atapersonlyingdown,orapersonstandinglookingatapersonsitting.Youpull backbitbybitbybit,stagebystage.Nomatterhowgoodthestage,youbeginto realizeyouvegottoliftaboveit. Thisisespeciallyimportantwhenreallystrongexperiencescomeinthe meditation.Youdontjumptoanyconclusions.Again,youliftthemindabove themandwatch.Hopefullybythattimethehabithasbecomebuiltinenoughso thatyourealizeyoucantallowyourselftogetattachedtoanything,eventhe reallyamazingexperiences.Liftyourselfuprungbyrungbyrungalongthe ladder.Yougofromoneattachmenttoahigheronetoahigherone.Finally, though,therecomesapointwhereyouhavetoletgoandjustwatchwhat happens.Onlywhenyouvedevelopedthishabitofliftingthemindupcanyou getthroughsomeoftheseexperiencesthatwaylayeveryoneelsealongthe meditationpath. Werenotjustherefortheexperiences.Werelearningthebasicskillswe needsothatnomatterwhatexperiencecomestothemind,wedontfallforit. Wedontlatchontoitsothatwedontbecomeaslavetoitforthewhole

123 purposeofthepracticeisfreedomandyetthehabitsofthemindtendtoward selfenslavement.Evenwhengreatfeelingsofonenessorunityorunlimitedness comeintothemind,youfindonaverysubtlelevelthatthemindcanbecome enslavedtothemaswell.Andthequestionishow,insteadofbecomingenslaved orenthralled,youcanlearnevenfromthatkindofexperience. Ultimatelythemindhastobecometotallyfree,evenfromthestateof oneness,evenfromthestateofunlimitedness,becausealotofthoseexperiences arejuststatesofconcentration.Theresstillasubtlelevelofattachmentand conditioninggoingon.Butifyoudevelopthehabitoflearninghowtoletgoand riseabovethingsevenwhileyouliveinthemidstofthem,thenyouve developedtheproperhabits,theskillsyouneedthataregoingtoprotectyouin allcircumstances. TheresafinepassageinoneofAjaanMahaBoowastalkswhere,atthetime ofAjaanMunsdeath,hesitsandreflects.Atfirsthefeelslost.Hereistheteacher hewasabletodependonforsolong,andnowthatteacherisgone.Whatishe goingtodo?Afterawhilehebeginstorealize:Well,whatwerethethingshe taughtwhenhewasalive?Takethoseasyourteachers.Andoneconstanttheme was:Whateverarisesinthemind,ifyoudontgetcaughtupwithitbutjuststay withthatsenseofknowing,withtheknowingasseparatefromtheeventinthe mind,then,nomatterwhat,thatexperiencewillposenodangersforyou. Thisskilloflearninghowtostepback,stepback,raisethemindaboveits experiences:ThisiswhatstrulydistinctiveabouttheBuddhasteachings.Thisis whatsdistinctiveabouthisapproachtothereallyspectacular,nondual experiencesinthemind.Ifyouhaventlearnedhowtodevelopthatapproachto ordinaryexperiencesinthemindlookingfortheuseoftheexperiencesrather thantryingtofeedonthemthenthespectacularonesaregoingtoeatyouup whole.Thisiswhythehabitsdevelopedalongthepatharesoimportant.Thisis whythepathisoneofthefournobletruths,onaparwiththeothers. Sokeepthisteachinginmind,thisissueoftheheightenedmind.Watchout forwhenyouallowthemindtoliebeneathitsobjects,underthepowerofits objects,andwhenyoureabletoliftitupabovethem,sothateventhoughyou livewiththemyouhaveasenseofrisingabovethem,ofbeingabletousethem, ofnotbeingcaughtupinthem.Thatstheskillwereworkingon.

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RespectforConcentration

July,2001

Wejustchantedabouthavingrespectforconcentration.Thisisanimportant principletokeepinmindbecausealltoooftenthestillnessofourmindsis somethingwestepon.Anideapopsintoourheadsandwegorunningafterit. Weleaveourhomebaseveryquicklyandthenfindithardtogetback.Weve gottolearnhowtomakeconcentrationournormalstateofmind:centered, present,alerttothebody,alerttothingsgoingon.Itsnotthatyoudontsense otherthingswhenyoureconcentrated,orthatyoudontregisterthemwithyour sensesatall.Simplythattheminddoesntmoveoutafterthem.Themindstays firmlybasedinthebreath,itshomebase,andfromthereitprotectsthatsenseof beingcentered,looksafterit,maintainsit.Thisistheonlywaythatconcentration cangrow,candeveloptherealstabilityweneedtowithstandwhatevercomes up. ToomanytimesIveheardpeoplesay,Nowthatmymindiscalm,whatdoI donext?Theyreinagreathurrytojumptothenextstep,torunoffintoinsight. Butbeforethemindcangainanyliberatinginsight,ithastoovercomeits impatiencetomove.Youneedtogetitverysolid,verysecure,becausewhenyou startworkingontheissuesofinsighttryingtounderstandwhygreed,anger, anddelusiontakeoverthemindyouregoingtofindyourselfrunningup againstallkindsofstorms.Ifyourconcentrationisntreallysolidandsettled, youlljustgetblownaway. Soyouhavetorespectthispartofthepath.Afterall,itstheheartofthepath. TheBuddhaoncesaidthatrightconcentrationformstheheartofthenoble eightfoldpath,whilealltheotherfactorsofthepatharesimplyrequisites, supportsfortherightconcentration,tokeepitright,tokeepitontrack. Sohavesomerespectforthisqualityofmind.Lookafterit.Sometimesit seemslikeweregoingagainsttheBuddhasteachingsoninconstancy,stress, andnotselfwhenwefocusonputtingthemindinastatethatsconstant,easeful, andours.Wegetreallyabsorbedinthissenseofonenessandwecometo identifywithit,bothwiththestillnessandwiththeobjectofthestillnessaswell. Itallbecomesone.Soitseemslikewererunningcountertowhatinsightis supposedtotellus.Butwhatwereactuallydoingistestingthelimitsofhuman effort.Weretakingthekhandhastheseaggregatesofbody,feeling,perception, thoughtfabrications,andconsciousnessandinsteadofidentifyingwiththem, weusethemastools.Andaspartoftheprocessofmasteringthemastools,there willhavetobeasenseofidentification.Youidentifywiththestateof concentration,whateversenseofthebodyispresentintheconcentration, whateverfeelings,perceptions,thoughtfabrications,andconsciousnessare there.Thatswhyyoubecomesodevotedtothem.Theyallturnintoaoneness.

125 Butinsteadofsimplyidentifyingwiththem,yourealsotreatingthemasthe path.Thatmakesallthedifference. Youbringthingstogetherand,oncetheyrebroughttogether,youcansort themoutforwhattheyare.Ifeverythingisscatteredallovertheplaceitshard toseehowthingsinteract,itshardtoseewheretheconnectionsare,andwhere thelinesaredrawnbetweenthem.Butwhenyougetthemallrighthere, gatheredintoone,thenoncetheyvebeenstayingtogetherforlongwhilethey begintoseparateout. AjaanLeehasaniceimageoftakingarockandputtingitinafire.Whenthe variouselementsintherockreachtheirmeltingpoint,theymeltoutoftherock, oneatatime.Thatshowtheyseparate.Thesameholdstruewithallthethings youregoingtotrytounderstandandgaininsightinto.Oncetheyvebeen togetheralongperiodoftime,gatheredhereinasenseofoneness,theybeginto separateout.Andallyouhavetodoisaskthequestion,Whatsthis?Isthisthe sameasthat?Andthenyoujustwatch.Youbegintoseethattheresanatural dividinglinebetweenthesethings.Butuntilyouvebroughtthemindtooneness inconcentration,youcantreallyseethat.Allthedividinglinesyouseearethe onesimposedbywordsandideas,bypreconceivednotions. Putthosepreconceivednotionsasideandjustfocusongettingthemind centered.Youresittinghereinconcentration,tryingtogettheconcentrationas refinedandassolidaspossible.Whenyougetuptoleave,dontdropit.Tryto maintainit.AnimagetheyuseintheCanonisofapersoncarryingabowlonhis head,filledtothebrimwithoil.Trytodevelopthatsamesenseofbalance,care, andmindfulness.Asyougetupfromconcentrationandgotowhereveryoure spendingthenight,trytomaintainthatsenseofbeingcenteredandpoised. Dontletitspill.Thisisoneaspectofhavingrespectforconcentration:tryingto maintainitthroughoutthecourseoftheday,notlettingyourselfgetdistracted outside.Again,youllbeawareofoutsidethings:peopletotalkto,worktobe done,thesoundsofthebirds,thewindinthetrees.Thesethingswillallbe presenttoyourawareness,butyouwontsendyourattentionoutafterthem.Try tokeepyourcenterhereinside. Asyoudevelopthiscontinuity,itbecomesyourhabitualcenterofawareness, yourhabitualpointofreference.Themovementofotherthingsinrelationtothat centerbecomesveryclear.Inotherwords,theimpulsetogooutandsee something:Youllseeitexactlyasthatacurrentoraphysicalsensationin certainpartsofthebodythatrunsorflowsoutafterthings.Ifyoucancatchsight ofit,youllsee:Oh,thatswhathappenswhenthemindfocusesitsattention outside.Theresbothamentalandaphysicalsidetothatchangeofreference. Whenyoursenseofclearawarenessisstillenough,youcanseethesethingsas theymove.Themorestillyourframeofreference,themorerefinedthe movementsyoucannoticeinthemind.Sothiselementofstillnessisvery important.Withoutit,insightisjustwords,ideas,thingsyoupickedupfrom

126 books.Butwithit,insightisseeingthingsastheyactuallyhappen,asthey actuallymove. Sothisisthebasisfromwhichinsightcomes,theinsightthatleadstorelease. Youbegintoobservethemovementsyouusedtorideon,becausenowyoure notridingonthemanymore.Youseethesemovementsofthemindastheyflash out,butyoudontgoflashingwiththem.Thatswhatmakesallthedifference.If yourideoutwiththem,thatsjustthewayofthenormalmind.Butiftheresa senseofbeingcenteredinside,youcanseethemovementsofthemindastheygo out,asthoughtsgoout,asperceptionsgoout,latchingontothings.Youseethem astheyactuallyhappen.Youbegintowonder,WhywouldIeverwantto identifywiththat? Thatswhenthepossibilityofreleasecomes.Butthiscanhappenonlywhen yourereally,reallystill.Andtobestillyoullneedasenseofwellbeingherein thepresentmoment.Otherwise,themindwontstay.Fortheconcentrationto staysolidandunforced,youwanttofeelgoodbeingrighthere.Youworkwith thebreathinwhateverwaywillhelpyoutosettledown,tostayclearand centered.Asyouusethebreathtoworkthroughpaininthebody,youllfind thatsomepainsyoucandealwithandsomepainsyoucant,buttheonlyway youllknowisbyexperimenting.Iftherearepainsyoucantdisperseby adjustingthebreath,youlearntolivewiththem.Youlearnnottoidentifywith them.Youreawareofthem,buttheresasenseofseparationbetweenthesense ofawarenessandthepain.Thatmakesitbearable. Ifyouregoingtoidentifywithcertainpartsofthebody,identifywiththe goodones.Findthepartsofthebodywhereyoucanmaintainasenseof wellbeingthroughthebreathing.Focusonthose.Thosebecomeyourcenter, yourpointofreferenceinthemidstofthismovingworld.

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TheUsesofPleasure&Pain
August,2001 Allowyourawarenesstosettleinonthebreathandgetalignedwiththe body.Ittakesalittleexperimentingtofindexactlywhatamountofpressureis needed,whatamountofforceisneededtostaywiththebreathandthebodyina waythatsjustright.Ifthepressureistoolight,themindgoesdriftingoff.Ifits tooheavy,thebodystartsfeelingconstricted,themindstartsfeelingconstricted, anditsgoingtolookforawaytogetout. Sotrytoseepreciselywhatamountofmindfulnessandalertnessisneeded justtokeepthebodyandmindtogetherrightatthebreath.Thebreathwillbea goodbarometertoletyouknowwhenthepressureistoomuch,whenitstoo littlebutyouvegottoknowhowtoreadthebarometer. Thisiswhywepracticemeditationdayafterdayafterday,togetmorefamiliar withourbarometer.Tobeginwith,youcanfocusyourawarenessatanyone spotinthebodywherethesensationofbreathingisveryclear.Itmightbethetip ofthenose,thethroat,themiddleofthechest,theabdomen,anyspotwhereyou knowclearly:Nowthebreathiscomingin,nowthebreathisgoingout. Theresasenseofrightnessaboutthespot;itsaneasyspottomaintainyour focus. Thismayseemstrange,thisemphasisoneaseandcomfortinthemeditationafter everythingweveheardabouttheBuddhasteachingsonpain,stress,and suffering.Butyouhavetolookcarefullyatwhathesaysaboutpain,stress,and sufferingandalsowhathehastosayaboutpleasure.Lookatthefournoble truths.Truthnumberone,ofcourse,isstressandsuffering.Butburieddownin numberfour,thepath,youfindthemostimportantfactorofthepath,right concentration,whichinvolvesgettingthemindfocusedonthebreathwitha senseofeaseandrapture.Thisrapturecomesfromseclusion:seclusionhere meaningthatyourenotthinkingaboutpast,notthinkingaboutthefuture, yourerightherewiththepresentmoment.Thingsaresettlingin,andtheresa snugnesstohowthingsfeel.Itfeelsgood,itfeelssecure,beingrighthere. LookatwhattheBuddhahastosayaboutthetaskswithregardtoeachofthe nobletruths.Thetaskwithregardtostressandsufferingistocomprehendit. Thetaskwithregardtothepathistodevelopit,whichmeansyouwantto developthatsenseofease,thesenseofrapturethatcomesasthemindbeginsto settledowninconcentration.Whatyouredoingistakingoneofthe aggregatestheaggregateoffeelingandinsteadoflatchingontoitorpushing itaway,youlearnhowtouseitasatool. Whenpainandstressandsufferingcome,youwanttocomprehendthem. Comprehendingpainandstressteachesyoualotaboutthemind.TheBuddha

128 neversaidthatlifeissuffering.Hejustsaidtheressufferinginlife,whichisa verydifferentteaching.Aslongastheresgoingtobepain,aslongastheres goingtobesuffering,getthemostuseoutofthem.Youfindasyoufocuson painasyougettoknowit,gettocomprehenditthatyoulearnallkindsof thingsabouthowthemindisworking.Inparticular,youlearntoseewhatits doingtotakeaphysicalpainandturnitintomentalpainor,ifyourestarting withmentalpain,tomakeitworse. Buttowatchthatfeelingofpainlongenoughandconsistentlyenoughsothat youcancomprehendit,themindneedsstrength,itneedsnourishment. Otherwiseitgetsdrained.Thatswherethepleasureinthepathcomesin.Thats yournourishment.Trytocreateasenseofwellbeinginthemindasitsfocused inthepresentmomentsothatitdoesntfeelthreatenedbythepain,doesntfeel drainedbythepain,sothatyoualwayshaveaplacetogowhenyouneedthat strength. Whatweredoingistakingoneoftheaggregatesthatweusuallyclingto. Clingingheredoesntmeanjustholdingon.Italsomeanstryingtopushaway, andpushingawayislikepushingawayagloboftar.Themoreyoupushit away,themoreyougetstuck.Soinsteadofclingingorpushingaway,wetryto learnhowtousetheseaggregatesastools,inthesamewayyoudusetartomake asphaltforpavingaroad. ThisisacommonthemerunningthroughouttheBuddhasteachings:Before youcanletgoofanything,youhavetolearnhowtomasterit.Otherwise,youre justholdingon,pushingaway,holdingon,pushingaway.Andnothingcomes fromthatexceptmorestress,moresuffering,morepain.Thisharmsnotonlyyou butalsothepeoplearoundyou.Ifyoureconstantlyfeelingworndownbythe painsandtheinconveniencesoflife,youllfindithardtobekindtootherpeople. Infact,mostoftheevilthingspeopledointheirlivescomefromtheirsenseof beingtotallyoverwhelmed,feelingweakandtrappedandthenlashingout. Butifyougivethemindthesenseofstrengthandsecuritythatcomeswith knowingithasacenteritcanreturntoandgainnourishmentfrom,itsagiftnot onlytoyourselfbutalsotothepeoplearoundyou.Itsnotaselfishpractice. Learnhownottoholdontofeelings,grabbingholdofthepleasantones, pushingthepainfulonesaway.Instead,learnhowtousethemastools.When theyreusedastools,theyopenthingsupinthemind.Youunderstandwhere themindisunskillfulinhowitmanagesitsthinking,andyourealizethatyou donthavetobeunskillful.Therearebetterwaystothink,betterwaystomanage thethoughtprocessesinthemind. Andafunnythinghappens.Asyoumastertheseprocesses,theybringyouto apointwhereeverythingreachesequilibrium.Thatswhereyoucanreallyletgo. Youcanevenletgoofyourtoolsatthatpointbecausetheyvetakenyouwhere youwanttogo.Fromthatpointon,everythingopensuptotheDeathless. Butyoucantgettherebypushingandpullingyourwayaround.Ifthe Deathlessweresomethingyoucouldforceyourwayinto,everybodywould

129 havegonetonibbanaalongtimeago.Itrequiresalotoffinesse,alotofskillin howyoudealwiththemind,learningtorecognizethetimeforanalyzingissues ofstressandsuffering,andthetimeforlettingthemindrestsoitthatitcangain strengthandthengobacktowork. Theultimateskillislearninghowtoputthosetwothingstogether.Inother words,youdevelopstatesofconcentrationtogivethemindareallysolidcenter, andfromthatcenteryoucanbegintoletgoofthingsthatareobviously unskillful,thingsyouobviouslydontwanttohangonto.Thenwhenyouvelet goofeverythingelse,youturnonthatpleasantcenteryouvebeendeveloping andtakeitapart.Butalltoooftenwevereadthebooksthattelluswhatcomes nextinthepracticeandwewanttogetontoinsightasfastaspossible.Indoing so,wetendtodestroytheveryqualitythatsgoingtohelpus:thisabilitytoget themindalignedwiththebodyinawaythatfeelsjustrightandthentousethe strength,usethenourishmentthecomesfromthat,thestillnessandease,the steadinessthatcomesfromthat.Onlythencanyoureallygaininsight. Inotherwords,youjustcantjumpoverconcentrationorgorushingthrough thevariouslevels.Itssomethingyouwanttosettledowninto,sothatyoucan staystill,calm,forlongperiodsoftime.Andwhenyoucanstaythatwayduring yourformalsitting,youtakeitoutandtrytomaintainthatsamecalmcenterno matterwhereyougo,nomatterwhathappens.Thatswhenyoureallygain interestinginsightsintothemind,seeinghowitgoesflowingoutafterthings, rushingtograbholdofthis,rushingtopushthataway. TheBuddhatalksabouteffluentsinthemind,thingsflowingoutofthemind, andwhenyoucanmaintainyourcenteryouactuallygetaphysicalsenseofthe energyflowingoutasthemindlosesitsalignmentwiththebodyandgoesout afteritsobjects.Thetrickislearninghowtomaintainthatstill,steadyobserverso thatyoucanseethemovementandrealizeyoudonthavetogoalongwithit. Themovementissomethingseparate.Theknowerissomethingseparate.And themovementdiesaway. Whenyouhavethatseparationclearlydelineated,youcanseeevenmore clearlywhichofthemindsactionsareskillfulandwhicharenot.Youbeginto seecauseandeffectinawaythatreallyopensthingsupinthemind. Sowecarrythesefivekhandhas,theseaggregates,aroundwithus,andthe wisdomoftheBuddhaisintakingtheseaggregatesthattendtoweighusdown, likebiglumpsofmetalinasuitcase,andopeningupthesuitcasetolookinside. Thatswhenyoubegintoseethattheyrenotjustlumpsofmetal.Theyretools, toolsthatyoucanapplytodismantlingyourattachmentssoyoudonthaveto lugthingsaroundanymore.Usethemtocutawayyourobviousattachments andthenfinally,wheneverythingelseistakencareof,youcanletgoofyour attachmentstothetoolsthemselves.Butuntilthatpoint,youwanttotakegood careofthemnottothepointofworshippingthem,butcarefulenoughthatthey stayingoodshapesoyoucanactuallyusethem.

130 ThisiswhytheBuddhadidntteachselftorment,buthedidntteachself indulgence,either.Themiddlepathbetweenthetwoisnothalfindulgenceand halftorment.Itslearninghowtoregardtheseaggregatesastools.Youvegot aggregatesofform,feeling,perception,thoughtfabrications,andconsciousness. Learnhowtotreatthemastools,showingthemthepropercareandattention thattoolsneed,butalsorealizingthattheyrenotthebeallandendalloflife. Theyreprocesses,notthings.Theyvegottheiruses,buttheyrenotendsinand ofthemselves. Onceyouvegotthatpointclear,thepathopensup.

131

AnIntroductiontoPain
March,2002 SomanypeopleaccusetheBuddhaofbeingpessimistic:Hestartshis teachingswithpain.Andyetwhenyoufirstsitandmeditate,whatdoyoufind afterthefirstfiveortenminutes?Pain.Youcantavoidit.Orwhenpeoplejust cantsitbythemselves,cantspendawholedaybythemselveswithoutbusying themselveswiththis,that,ortheotherthing,whatstheproblem?Itsmental pain,mentaldiscomfort.Thesearethingswelivewithallthetime,andyetwe thinksomehowthatifpeoplepointthemout,theyrebeingpessimistic.Of course,theBuddhaspurposeinpointingoutpainandsufferingwasntjustto stoprightthere,pointingthemoutandsaying,Isntthathorrible.Hesays, Look.Theresasolution.Infact,hisapproachtopainisextremelyoptimistic: Humanbeingscanputanendtosuffering,inthislifetime,throughtheirown efforts. Sowhenwesithere,wehavetoanticipatethattherewillbepaininsitting still.Thereasonwenormallymovearoundisbecauseweencounterpainina particularposture,sowechangealittlebittogetawayfromit.TheBuddhas approachisnttotrytorunawayfromitthatway.Hesays,Lookintoit. AsAjaanSuwatusedtosay,Wenormallytakeourcravingsasourfriends andourpainsasourenemies.Weshouldswitchthataround.Learntolookat painasyourfriend,andcravingasyourenemy.Thecravingiswhatsreally causingalltheproblems.Thepainisjusttheretoteachyousomething.Of course,itsadifficultfriend.Somepeopleareeasytobefriendswith;youcanget alongwiththemwithnoproblematall.Othersaredifficult.Painisdefinitelya difficultfriend,butoneworthcultivating.Still,becauseitsdifficult,youhaveto goaboutittherightway. Thisiswhy,whenwestartmeditating,theBuddhadoesnthaveusfocus immediatelyonthepain.Hesaystofocusonthebreathinstead,because whateverpainisassociatedwiththebreathandittendstobesubtle,butitis thereissomethingyoucanmanage,somethingyoucandealwith.Hegives youthebreathasyourtoolfordealingwiththepain.Sowhenyoureawareof pain,dontyetletyourprimaryfocusbeonthepain.Keepyourfocusonthe breath.Inotherwords,getusedtobeingacquaintedwiththebreathfirst, becausethatsthepersonwhollintroduceyoutopainproperly.Itslikemeeting anyimportantperson:Youfirsthavetogettoknowcertainwellconnected friendswhocanintroduceyoutothatperson.Andthatsthewayitiswithpain: Youhavetoknowthebreathfirst,foritsyourwellconnectedfriend. Sogetintouchwiththebreath.Findaplaceinthebodythatsrelativelyat ease,relativelycomfortable,andfocustherefirst;gettoknowthatspotfirst;be verysensitivetothebreathingatthatspot.Whenyoubreatheinthere,howdoes

132 itfeel?Whenyoubreatheoutthere,howdoesitfeel?Isthereeventheslightest discomfort?Canyoumakeitfeelbetter?Canyouexperimentwithdifferent waysofbreathing,differentwaysofconceivingthebreathenergyinyourbody? Whenyoufindsomethingthatfeelsreallygood,thewholetoneofyourbody willfeelreallygood.Insteadofsittingheretenselytryingtobreatheinonespot, thinkofthewholebodyrelaxingintothebreath.Themorerelaxedyouareabout thepractice,thelongeryoullbeabletostaywithit.Sothinkofyourselfasjust relaxingintothebody,relaxingintothebreath.Findawayofbreathingthatfeels reallygoodallthewayfromthebeginningtotheendasitgoesin,andallthe wayfromthebeginningtotheendasitgoesout.Makethatyourfoundation. Oncethatfeelsgood,thinkofspreadingthatgoodbreathenergytotheother partsofthebody.Thinkofitasgoingrightthroughthepain.Manytimesalotof thediscomfortwefeelaroundpaincomesfromtensinguparoundit,andthe tensingupjustmakesthingsworse.Sotrytobreathethroughanytensionyou feel.Breatherightthroughthepain,allthewayonout.Supposetheresapainin yourhiporinyourknee:Thinkofthebreathgoingthroughthehip,throughthe knee,allthewayoutthroughthetoesasyoubreathein,andoutintotheairas youbreatheout.Asyouapproachthepain,trytomaintainthesamementaltone andfeelingtoneyouhadwhenfocusingonthecomfortablebreath.Your primaryframeofreferencehereshouldstillbethebreath.Theresnowayyoure notgoingtonoticethepain,butaskyourself,Howdoesthebreathaffectthe pain?Howdoesthepainaffectthebreath?Alwayskeepthebreathinmindas yourframeofreference.Thatgivesyouahandleonthepain.Otherwiseifyou jumprightintothepain,youfindyourselfpickinguptheenergyfromthepain thatputsyouonedge.Thefirstthingyoullthinkwillbe:Makethepaingo away.Andthentheresevenmoreimpatienceasyougetinvolvedinthepast andthefutureofthepain. Butwhenyoustaywiththebreath,youwanttobeasmuchwiththepresent aspossible.Dontthinkabouthowlongthepainhasbeenthereorhowlongits goingtostay.Just,Whatsthererightnow?Thattakesonehugeburdenoffthe mindrightthere.Soasyougothroughthepain,makethethreadofyour awarenessstaywiththebreath.Thatswhatyouwanttokeeptrackof;thats whatyouwanttoholdonto.Learntorelatetothepainthroughthebreathrather thanjustbuttingupagainstthepainheadon. Now,ifyoufindthatthepainjustgetsworseandworseandworsetothe pointwhereyoucantstandit,sitwithitanotherfiveminutesandthenchange yourposition.Inotherwords,pushyourlimitsabitatatimeandyoullfindthat yougetbetterandbetteratstayingwiththepain,moreskillfulinmaintaining yourframeofreferencewiththebreath.Aslongasyoureallystaywiththe breathyoullbeokay.Slippingawayfromthebreathiswhatcreatesthe problems,becausethemindthenimmediatelycreatesstoriesaboutthepain, createsissuesaroundthepain:Whyisthispainhappeningtome?Orifitsa physicalpainthatyouknowyoucaused:WhydidIdothat?Allthese

133 questionsHowmuchlongerisitgoingtolast?AmIgoingtohavethispain therestofmylife?justdropthemrightnow.Staywiththebreath.Deal immediatelyinthepresent,becausethepastandthefuturearenotactually there.Theyarethingsthemindcreates,andoncetheyrecreatedtheyturn aroundandbitethemind.Sotrytostaywiththatthreadofthebreathasitgoes throughthepain. ThenyoullbegintoseewhytheBuddhafocusedonpainastheprimary spiritualissueinourpractice,foritteachesyousomuchaboutthemind.Itslike filmingadocumentaryontheanimalsinthedesert:Ifyougooutandspendthe daywanderingaroundthedesert,youllprobablymissmostoftheanimals.But ifyousetupyourcameraatasafeplacenearthewaterhole24hoursaday,allof theanimalsintheareaaregoingtohavetocomethere.Thatswhereyougetto filmthemall.Itsthesamewiththepain.Ifyoufocussteadilyonthepain,youll seeallthemindsreactionsaroundthepain.Allitsissueswillcometothe surfaceandcongregatethere. Atthesametime,ifyouusethebreathasyourtoolfordealingwiththepain, thoseissueswonttotallyoverwhelmyou.Itslikehavingasafesheltertorunto ifthelionsobjecttobeingfilmed.Youvegotasafeplaceinthebreath.Youre nottotallyatthemercyofthepain.Youcanpulloutanytimeyouwant,and youvegotahandletodealwithit.Youveestablishedafeelingtonearoundthe wholebodythatholdsthepain,notgraspingontoit,butsurroundingitwithan energy,surroundingitwithaspacewhereyourenotthreatenedbyit.Thenyou candealwithit.Whenyourenotthreatened,youcanreallygetintothepresent moment.Ifyoufindthatyoucantyethandleit,youvegotthebreathtogoback to. Butwhenthingsgetstableenoughinthemind,clearenoughinthemindso thatyoucanhandleit,thenyoureallycanstartlookingatthepainasyour friend.Youcangetfamiliarenoughwithitsothatultimatelyyoucanunderstand itforwhatittrulyis,sothatultimatelyitsnolongeraproblem.Untilthatpoint, itsalwaysgoingtobeadifficultfriend,butifyoustartoffontherightfoot, usingthebreathasthebasisofyourfriendship,youllfindthatyoureinagood positiontomakethefriendshipwork.

134

ADependableMind
November10,1996 Ourbasicprobleminlifeisthatthemostimportantthinginourlivesisthe thingweknowtheleastabout:ourownmind.AstheBuddhasaid,allthings comeoutofthemindallourexperiences,allthehappinessandallthepainwe experience,comefromthemind.Allthingshavethemindastheirforerunner. Thingsaremadeofthemind,determinedbythemindandyetwedontknow ourminds,soourlivesareoutofcontrol.Wedontunderstandwherethings comefromorhowthingshappeninourlives.Thatswhywehavetomeditate togettoknowourownminds. Thedifficultyinmeditationisthatyoucantfocusdirectlyonthemind.Its likefocusingonthewindupinaskywithnocloudsyouhavenowayof knowingwhichdirectionitsgoingbecausetheresnothingagainstwhichits goingtomakecontact.Thatswhyyouneedameditationobjectlikethebreathor buddhoorpartsofthebody.Whicheverobjectyoufindeasytosettledown with,thatstheoneyoutake.Havinganobjectgivesthemindsomethingto bounceoffofbecausewhenyoudecideyouregoingtostaywithsomething, youbegintoseehowerraticthemindis.Itkeepsjumpingaround.Itgoesherea littlewhile,thenitgoesthereforalittlewhile,andthenoverthere.Youbeginto realizehowthismostimportantelementinlifethemindissototallyoutof control,totallyundependable.Thatswhythemindneedstraining.Weneedto strapitdowntooneobjectandmakeitstaytheresothatwecanreallygetto knowitandtrainituntilwesensethatwecandependonit. WetalkabouttakingrefugeintheBuddha,theDhamma,andtheSangha,but theycanbeourrefugeonlywhenwebringthemintothemind.Andthemind canbedependableonlywhenwevegotthequalitiesoftheBuddha,Dhamma, andSanghainthere:qualitieslikemindfulness,concentration,persistence,and dependability.Soifyouwanttodependonthemind,makeitsomethingyoucan dependon. TheBuddhasgoodnewsisthatitspossibletodothis.Atthetimethe Buddhawasteaching,therewereotherteacherswhosaidthatthereisnothing thatyoucandoaboutthewaylifeis,itsallwritteninthestars.Otherssaidthat nomatterwhatwedo,anyactionleadstomoresuffering,sotheonlywayto stopsufferingistostopacting.Andstillotherssaidthatlifeistotallychaotic, theresnowayyoucanmakeanysenseoutofitatall,sodonttry.Justtryto haveasmuchfunasyoucanwhileyoucanbecauseeverythingfallsapartat death.Sotherewereallkindsofteachings,buttheywereallteachingslackingin hope.TheBuddhasteachingwastheonlyonethatofferedanyhope.Hesaid, yes,thereisaskillthatyoucandevelopintrainingthemindand,yes,itdoes leadtotruehappiness.

135 Sojustaswithdevelopinganyskill,youhavetobeobservant,stickwithit,be sensitivetowhatyouredoing,besensitivetotheresults,makenecessary changesoradjustmentsand,asaresult,youkeepgettingbetterandbetterand betteratit.Sometimestheimprovementishardtoseebecauseitsso incremental.Ittakessuchtiny,tinysteps,butyoucanrestassuredthatwhatever positiveenergyyouputintothepracticeisgoingtoproducepositiveresults. ThatsalsopartofthegoodnewsoftheBuddhasteachings.Nothinggoodyou doiswasted.NoeffortthatyouputintoRightEffortiswasted. SowehaveconvictionintheBuddhasteachingbecauseheteachesustohave convictioninourselvesthatthepracticeissomethingwecando.Wedonthave todependonanythingfromtheoutsideatall.Yourownpower,yourown potential:Thatswhatsgoingtogetyouwhereyouwanttogo.Ifyouhaveto dependonothers,youdontreallyknowifyoucandependonthemornot.Will theybetherewhenyouneedthem?Theymightchangetheirminds.Afterall, youhavenocontroloverthingsoutsideofyou. Eventhoughyoucurrentlymaynothavemuchcontroloverthemind,you canstillworkatitanddevelopmoreandmorecontrolovertime.Tellthemind tositdownandstayinoneplaceoftenenough,andeventuallyitwillstay.Its goingtorebelforawhile,butifyouuseyouringenuityinteachingitshowing itthatinbeingobedientthiswayitwontalwayshavetobestrugglingor sufferingitsgoingtofindthatitactuallylikessettlingdown.Andthenyoucan hardlykeepitfromsettlingdownitwantstokeepcomingback,comingback, comingbacktothestateofstillness,feelingathomeinthepresentmoment. Thisiswhyweadjustthebreathinthepractice:tohelpthemindsettledown easily.Andweworktogettoknowthebreath.Whatarethedifferentwaysithas ofcomingin?Whatarethedifferentwaysithasofgoingout?Howdoesitaffect therestofthebody? Whenthebreathcomesinandout,itsnotjusttheaircominginandoutof thelungs.Itstheenergythatcoursesthroughthewholebody,throughoutevery nerve.Thinkaboutthewholenervoussystemgoingdownfromthebrain,down thebackbone,outthearms,outthelegs,encompassingallthepartsofthebody. Thenallowyourselftothinkthattheentiresystemcanbeaffectedbythebreath ifyouletithappen.Letthewholebodyrelaxandgetintothebreathing.Letyour mindgetintothebreathing.Dontthinkofyourselfasbeingoutsidesomeplace lookingatthebreath.Beimmersedintheprocessofbreathing.Thewholebody breathesin.Thewholebodybreathesout.Andyourerightintherewithit. Afteryouworkatthisforawhile,youbegintofindthattheworkpaysoff.It reallyfeelsgood,feelsgratifying,justtositherebreathing.Themindhasasense ofbeingathome.Ifthemindweretogoouttothinkofotherthings,youdbe sendingitoutintoaterritoryittotallyhastocreateforitself.Butyoudonthave tocreatemuchrighthereinthepresentmoment.Whenyourereallywiththe breath,youreputtingmuchlessofastrainonthemind.Andwhenthemind getsusedtothis,itdecidesthatitreallylikesit.Untilitdecidesthatitlikesit,

136 youhavetouseboththecarrotandthestick.Thecarrotisthecomfortable sensationofbreathing;thestickistheconstantreminderofwhatsgoingto happeniftheminddoesntcomeundercontrol,ifitisntwillingtosettledown allthesufferingandpainthatyoullhavetoendure. TheBuddhasaidthatwhenpeoplesuffer,whentherespaininlife,theyhave twokindsofreactions.Oneisbewildermentbecausetheydontknowwherethe paincomesfromorwhyitshappening.Thesecondreactionisthedesiretoget freeofthepainonewayoranother.Andthesetworeactionsgohandinhand. Yourebewilderedatthesametimethatyouretryingtogetfree,andsoyou tendtodoallkindsofunskillfulthingstogetawayfromthepain,thingsthat arenthelpfulatall.Butthroughpracticeyoucometorealizethatthepaininthe bodyisnttheculprit.Thepaininthemindthementalanguish,themental distress:Thatstherealproblem.Whenyoureallygettoknowthemindyousee thatthepaininthebodyisntsuchabigdealatall.Itbecomesaproblemonly whenthemindtakesitonandconvertsitintomentalpain,buttounderstand mentalpainyouhavetoworkwithphysicalpain. Soafterthemindhassettleddown,focusitonthepain:paininthelegs,pain intheback,whatever.Justgettoknowitasitsactuallypresent.Whatisthis pain?Isitwhatyouthinkitis?Trytoseethepainonitsownsimplyasa sensation,andnotasapainwithoutallthepresuppositionsyoumayhave aboutit:thatitsplacedrighthere,thatithasthisshape,thatitstakenoverthe body,orwhatevercrazynotionthemindhasaboutthepain. Whenyouthinkaboutit,mostofthenotionsyouvedevelopedaboutpain weredevelopedwhenyouwerereallysmall,becausethatswhenyoufirstmet upwithpain.Thefirstthingtheydowhenyourebornistospankyousoyou canbreathe.Andevenbeforetheyspankyou,goingthroughtheprocessofbirth isenoughtomakeyoupassout.Sowevebeendealingwithpaineversincewe weresmall,andformostofusthestrategieswevebeenusingarethosewe pickedupwhenweweresosmallthatwedidntknowwhatwasgoingon.Alot ofthosestrategiesarestillthereinyourmind. Sojustsitdownandgettoknowthepain.Simplyregardingthepainas somethingyouwanttoknowchangesalotofyoursubconsciousattitudes towarditrightthere.Yourusualattitudeisthatoncetherespain,youwantto getridofit,togetawayfromit.Ofcourse,ifyoukeeprunningawayfromit yourenevergoingtogettoknowit,youllnevergettounderstandit,andthis meansthatyoullendupdealingwithpainmoreandmoreoutofbewilderment. Sooncethemindhassettleddowninthesenseofwellbeingfosteredbythe breath,tellyourselfthatitstimetogettoknowthepain,makefriendswiththe painnotsoyoucanlivewithpainforever,butsoyoucanreallyunderstand howfarthepaingoesandhowfarthemindgoesandwherethetwoareactually separate.Besurethatyourpurposeistogettoknowthepain,notsomuchto makeitgoaway,buttothoroughlyunderstandit.Theunderstandingiswhat

137 willenableyoutogetbeyonditinwaysyoudidntexpect:Themindcanbewith thepainandyetnotbepainedbyit. Thisisanimportantskilltodevelopbecauseaslongastheresabody,theres goingtobepain.Thequestionisnothowtorunawayfromit,buthowtolive withitsoasnottobepainedbyit.Realizethatthepainissimplyhappening,not necessarilyhappeningtoyou.Itsjusthappening.Itsanevent.Ithasnointention toharmyouatall.Youfeelpainedbyitbecauseyouputyourselfinthewayby layingclaimtothepartofthebodywherethepainseemstobe.Itslikegetting intothelineoffire:Youreboundtogetshot.Sodontgetintothelineoffire. Dontlayanyclaimtoit.Seethatthepainisjustsomethingthatsthere,andthat itsgoingtocomeanditsgoingtogoinlinewithitsowncausesandeffects. Youronlydutyistowatchit,toseewhatitsreallylikefortheretobepain. Simplybetherewiththepuresensationinthemoment.Howdoesitmove around?Howdoesitchange?Exactlywhataboutitispainful?Whatsthemind doingtothepainwhenthemindlabelsit?Whateffectdoesthathave?Ifyoucan catchthateventinthemindthemindsaying,Thisisthisandthatisthat;this isthepainanditsdoingthis,andalloftheotherrunningcommentarythatthe mindmakesonthepresentmomentthenyoubegintorealizethisinitselfisa lotoftheproblemrightthere.Thefearthatthepainisgoingtostay;the anticipationthatitsgoingtostay;allthesethoughts:Justletthemdropaway. Seewhathappens.Wheredoesthepaingowhentheydropaway?Bywatching thisyourwholeattitudetowardthepainchanges,becauseyoucometoseethatit isntatallwhatyouthoughtitwas. Andatthesametimeyoulearnanawfullotaboutyourmindallthethings thatthemindcomesinandsaysaboutthepain.Itsasifyouhaveawhole committeeofferingtheirsuggestionsandopinions.Sothisisaverygoodwayof gettingtoknowthemindbecausealotofthingsburiedinthemindwilltendto surfaceandfocusonwhatshappeningwhentherespain.Insteadoftryingto runawayfromthepain,youjustsitwithitandseewhatkindofreactioncomes upinthemind.Again,dontidentifywiththereactions.Thereactionswillsay, Stop,stop,stop.Ortheyllsay,Thisisthisandthatsthatandyoushoulddo thisandyoushoulddothat.Justrespond,No,Imjustgoingtobehere.Im justgoingtowatch.Andwatchboththepainandthemindsreactionstothe pain. Thisishowyoureallygettoknowthemindwhiletrainingittobecomemore andmoredependable.Ifthemindisntshakenbypain,theresverylittlethats goingtoshakeit.Ifitdoesntfearpain,theresverylittleforittofear.Andwhen itsnotafraidinthefaceofpain,itbecomesamindyoucandependon.When youwantittowork,itwillworkforyou.Whenyouwantittorest,itwillrest. Whenyouwantittothink,itcanthinkanditwillthinkclearly.Whenthetime comesforittostopthinking,itwillstop. Wevespentsomuchofourlivesdevelopingfearofpain,fearofsuffering.If youcangetpastthatfear,getpastthemindstendencytobepushedaroundby

138 thesethings,youvegotamindyoucanrelyon.Aswhentheytrainsoldiers: Theyhavetoputthesoldiersthroughallkindsofhellinordertoknowwhich onestheycandependonandwhichonestheycant.Theoneswhocomethrough itokay:Thosearetheonesyouknowyoucandependon.Itsthesamewiththe mind.Ifyoureafraidtofaceuptopain,themindwillneverhaveanycontrol overitselfatall.Itwillneverbecomesomethingyoureallycandependon.Itwill alwaysflinchunderthepain,unwillingtodothis,unwillingtodothat,because itsafraid.Andwhenthatswhatyourmindislike,whereareyougoingtofind anythingtodependon?Whereareyourtruefriendsatthatpoint?Evenyour ownmindisntafriend. Sowhenthemindhassettleddownandreallyfeelsathomeinthepresent moment,workingwithpainisanexcellentwayoftrainingit.Throughthisyou cancometoseethatthemindwillobeyyounotonlywhenyoumakeit comfortable,butalsowhenyoutestit,whenyougiveitworktodo.Thatswhen youhaveamindyoucanreallytakeasyourrefuge.

139

TheComponentsofSuffering
May,2003 Letyourmindsettlein.Staywiththebreath.Theresnowhereelseyouhave togo,nothingelseyouhavetodorightnow.Justbewithyourbreathing.When thebreathcomesin,youknowitscomingin.Whenthebreathgoesout,you knowitsgoingout.Allowittocomeinandgooutinawaythatfeelsgoodand refreshing.Ifyourefeelingtired,youmaywanttobreatheinawaythats energizing.Ifyourefeelingfrenetic,breatheinawaythatsmorecalming.Gain asenseofwhatthebreathcandoforthebodyandthemindhereinthepresent moment. Dowhatyoucantoputthemindinagoodmood.Inotherwords,ifyou approachtheprocessofmeditationwithalotofanxiety,withalotoffrustration, thatanxietyandfrustrationwillshowupinthebreathandsimplymakethings worse.Soremindyourself:Nottoomuchisdemandedofyourightnow,just beingwiththebreath.Ifyounoticeyouvewanderedoff,justbringthemind rightback.Ifitwandersoffagain,bringitbackagainandtrytomakethebreath evenmorecomfortable.Asyoukeepatthis,youfindthattheminddevelopsa strongerandstrongerfoundation,aplacewhereitcanstay,aplacewhereit reallyfeelssafe,whereitfeelsathome,whereitcanlookatthelargerissuesin lifeandnotmessthemup. TheBuddhatalksaboutsufferingashisnumberonetruth,andwhenwehear aboutthat,manyofuswanttorunaway.Wefeelthatwehaveenoughsuffering inlife;wedontwanttohearaboutitanymore.ButtheBuddhaswholereason forteachingaboutsufferingisbecausehehasacure.Toworkthatcure,though, youfirsthavetogetthemindingoodshape,becausemostofus,whenwedeal withsuffering,simplymaketheissueworse.Wefeelthreatenedbyit,wefeel surroundedbyit,westartgettingdesperate,andinourdesperationwedoall kindsofthingsthatareharmful,bothtoourselvesandtopeoplearoundus. Sofirstgetthemindinagoodmood.Allyouneedisthebreathcomingin andoutwithasenseofwellbeing.Ifyourereallyobservantandbecomefamiliar withthebreathovertime,youfindthatthatsenseofwellbeingstartspermeating throughoutotherpartsofyourlifeaswell.Andwhenyouvegotasenseof wellbeingyoucandependon,thenyoucanturntotheissueofsufferingtosee exactlywhatsufferingis,lookingatitnotsomuchoutofdesperationasoutof curiosity.AstheBuddhasaid,thebestwaytodealwithsufferingisto comprehendit,asinthepassagewechantedjustnow.Hesaidmostpeopledont discernsuffering.Wesuffer,wefeelit,butwedontdiscernit,wedont understandit.TheBuddhasaidthatifyouunderstandit,youcanmanageit,you canputanendtoit.Ifyoudontunderstandit,youjustkeeponsufferingand neverputanendtoitatall.

140 Inhisfirstsermonhedescribessuffering:thesufferingofbirth,thesuffering ofaging,thesufferingofillness,thesufferingofdeath,ofbeingseparatedfrom whatyoulove,ofbeingconjoinedwiththingsyoudontlike,ofnotgettingwhat youwant.Thatseemstobeaprettygoodsummation,butthenheboilsitdown toevenmorebasicterms.Thisiswherethediscussiongetstechnical.Heanalyses sufferingdowntofiveheaps,fiveclingingaggregates:formimbuedwith clinging,feelingimbuedwithclinging,perceptions,thoughtfabrications,and consciousness,allimbuedwithclinging.Theclingingistheimportantelement. Itswhatturnsordinaryform,feeling,andsoforth,intosuffering. WereoftentoldthattheseaggregatesaretheBuddhasdescriptionofwhat weare,butthatwasnthispurposeinformulatingthisteaching.Hispurpose wastogiveustoolsforbreakingsufferingdownintomanageablepieces.For mostofus,sufferingisanenormousissue,muchlargerandmorepressingthan theabstractquestionofwhoorwhatweare.Whensufferingcomes,it overwhelmsus.Wecantstandupunderitsweight.Infactthatsoneofthe traditionaldefinitionsofsuffering:thatwhichishardtobear.Anditshardto bearbecausewefeeloverwhelmed.Whenithitshard,itseemslikeanenormous mountainfillingourawareness.Wecantgetahandleonit.Thepurposeof dividingitintothesefiveheapsistobreakthemountaindownintogravel,and thegraveldownintodust.Thishelpsusrealizethatnomatterwhatthetypeof sufferingwhetheritsthesufferingofaging,illness,death,thesufferingof separation,thesufferingofnotgettingwhatwewantitcanallbeanalyzedinto justfivesortsofthings.Thatsallitis.Andfurthermorewecanlookatthesefive sortsofthingsandseethattheresnothingthereworthsufferingover.Webuild enormousnarrativesaroundourpains,butwhatarethosenarratives?Theyre justperceptionscombinedwiththethoughtfabricationsbuiltoutofthem.Ifwe clingtothosenarrativestheyregoingtomakeussuffer.Butifwetakethem apart,weseethattheresnothingmuchthere. SotheBuddhahasusfocus,notsomuchonthestoryline,butonthebuilding blocksweusetoputthestorylinetogether.Ifyougetdowntothebuilding blocks,youbegintoseehowartificialthiswholeprocessisbecausethese aggregatesarenotthings.Theyreactuallyactivities,thingswedo.Wesuffer becauseweclingtocertainactivities,certainmovementsofthemind.Sotocut throughthisclinging,youhavetokeepbreakingyoursufferingdownand analyzingit:Whatsgoingonhere?Supposetheresapaininyourlegandyoure sufferingfromit.Whatsgoingonthere?Therestheformofthebody,andthen therearetheactualfeelingsofpain.Andthentherearetheperceptions,the labelsyouputonthefeeling;thethoughtfabrications,thestoriesyoubuild aroundthefeeling;andthentheconsciousness,therepeatedactsofbeing consciousofallthesethings. Soinsteadofbuildingupthestoriesaroundthefeelinggettingangryabout thefeeling,gettingupsetaboutit,worryingaboutitifthemindiscalmenough youcanstarttakingthesufferingsurroundingthefeelingapart.Whatsgoing

141 on?Whatsactuallythere?Therestheformofthebody,whichisactually separatefromthefeeling,althoughweoftenglomthetwotogether.Iftheresa paininourknee,itfeelslikeourwholekneeisnothingbutpain.Butifyoulook atitcarefully,therestheformofyourbody,andthentherearethefeelings flickeringaroundtheform.Theyrenotasingle,solidthing.Manytimeswe perceivethefeelingtobeasolidthing,butnowweretakingthatperception apart.Actuallytheresnotjustoneperception.Therearemanyrepeated perceptions,justastherearemanymomentsoffeeling.Thisiswhythesethings arecalledkhandhas,orheaps.Likeheapsofgravelorheapsofsand,theyremade outofsmallindividualevents,smallindividualmotions,eitherphysicalmotions ormentalmotions.Soyoubreakthemdown,breakthemdown.Andonce theyrebrokendown,theyrenottoobigtohandle.Youcanchangethem.For example,thoseperceptionsyouappliedtothefeelings:Whathappensifyou changethemfromperceptionsofpaintosimplyperceptionsofsensation? Oryoucantrytoanalyzethesensationintoitsphysicalaspects:thesensation ofwarmthorheat,ormaybeasenseofblockagethatfeelssolid.Ifyouactually takethosesolidfeelingsapart,though,youbegintoseetheyrenotsosolidafter all. Thentherearethestoriesyoubuilduparoundthesensations,thefearsof whatwillhappenifyoudontdosomethingaboutthepain.Ifyousithereforthe nexthour,isyourleggoingtofalloff?Willyouharmthetissuesofthebodyby cuttingofftheblood?Themindcanbuildupallsortsofstoriesaboutthe sensations,butinsteadoflookingatthestoriesandgettingcaughtupinthestory line,justlookatthemaswordscomingthroughthemindwithoutyourhavingto believethem.Simplywatchthestoriesasindividualwords.Thenyoubeginto seethatifyouclingtothestoryline,youmakethepainworse.Sowhyclingto it?Youdonthavetofollowthestoryline.Itsnotamovieyouvepaidtosee. Yourenotmissinganythingimportantifyoudontfollowitthroughtotheend. Sowhatyouwanttodoistakethesufferingapartintoitscomponentparts andlocatetheclingingthatturnsthosecomponentpartsintothesuffering.Ifyou takeeachcomponentpartonitsown,itsnotallthatbad.Theaggregateitselfis notsuffering.Therecanbeapaininthelegbutwesuffersimplybecausewe identifywithit,welayclaimtoitasours.Thatswhywesuffer.Withouttheact ofidentification,withouttheclinging,therewouldbenosuffering.Themental labelthatsaysmineormypain,myleg,orwhatever:Whathappensifyou dropit?Youdonthavetothinkit.Theresnobodyforcingyoutothinkit. Theressimplytheforceofhabit.Andhabitscanbechanged. Asyoutakethesufferingapartintolittlebitsandpieceslikethis,itsalot moremanageable.Manytimesthepainmaystillbethere,buttheresno suffering.Orsometimeswhenyourenotworkedupaboutit,thepainactually goesaway.Somephysicalpainsarephysicalintheircauses;othersaremore mentalintheirs.Evenphysicalpainhasitsmentalcomponent,asthemind chooseswhichsensationstofocusonandwhichonestoignore,whichonesto

142 downplayandwhichonestomagnifywithitsstoriesandrunningcommentary. Youcanseethismentalcomponentclearlywhenyoustopthecommentary,or whenyoujuststepbackandwatchthecommentaryasyouwouldsomething curious,andsayWell,whywouldIbelievethat?,andsuddenlythesuffering goesaway.Whetherornotthepainisstillthere,thesufferingisgone.Thats whenyouseethattheissuewasnotthepainbuttheunnecessarysufferingyou createdbyclingingtothesefeelingsandperceptions.Whenyouseeclearlythe thingsyouvebeenclingingto,andthattheyrenotreallyworthclingingto,the sufferingbreaksdown.Themountainisleveledandpulverizedintodust.When youvemasteredthisskill,thatstheendofsuffering.

143

GivingRisetoDiscernment
October29,2002 Wemeditate,developingmindfulness,developingconcentration,andaftera whilewebegintowonder,Whenisthediscernmentgoingtocome?Whenare theinsightsgoingtocome?SoitsinstructivetolookattheBuddhasanalysisof whatgivesrisetodiscernment.Mindfulnessandconcentrationareprerequisites, buttheresmore.Andinsearchingforthatmore,itsespeciallyinstructiveto lookattwosetsofqualitiesthattheBuddhasaidleadtoAwakeningthefive strengthsandthesevenfactorsforAwakeningtolearntheirlessonsonwhat givesrisetodiscernment,whatsneededforinsightstoarise.Otherwiseyoucan meditatefortwenty,thirty,fortyyearsasAjaanLeesays,youcoulddieand yourbodycoulddryoutonthespotandstillnotgainanydiscernment, becauseyourelackingsomeoftheproperqualities. Thefivestrengthsasetoffactorsthatculminateindiscernmentare interestingbecausetheystartout,notwithideasthatyouveheardfrom someoneelseintermsofwhatBuddhistdiscernmentisabout.Theystartwith thequalityofconviction.Convictioninwhat?Convictionintheprincipleof kamma.Thatswhatitcomesdowntoconvictionintheprinciplethatour actionsdomatter.Somepeoplehaveproblemswiththeteachingonkamma,but whatexactlyistheBuddhaaskingyoutobelieveinwhenheasksyoutohave convictioninkamma?First,actionreallyishappeningitsnotanillusion. Second,youreallyareresponsibleforyouractions.Theresnooutsideforcelike thestarsorsomegoodorevilbeingactingthroughyou.Whenyoureconscious, youretheonewhodecideswhattodo.Third,youractionshaveresultsyoure notjustwritingonthewaterandthoseresultscanbegoodorbaddepending onthequalityoftheintentionbehindtheact. Sotheteachingonkammaputsyouinchargeofshapingyourlife.Itsagood teachingtobelievein.Andhowdoesthisrelatetodiscernment?Itprovidesthe basisforthequestionsyouregoingtoasktogiverisetodiscernment.And becausetheprincipleofkammaplacesalotofemphasisontheneedtoacton skillfulintentionstogetthegoodresultsyouwant,thebasicquestionbecomes: Howcanyoutellwhetheranintentionisskillfulorunskillful? Togetherwithconvictionyouneedthequalityofheedfulness:therealization thatifyourenotcarefulaboutyouractionsyoucancreatealotofsufferingfor yourselfandforthosearoundyou.Heedfulnessissaidtounderliethe developmentofthefivestrengthsleadinguptodiscernment.Itsthequalitythat makessureyouregoingtopaycloseattentiontowhatyouredoing,close attentiontoyourintentions,closeattentiontotheresultsofyouractionsasin thepassagewheretheBuddhasinstructingRahula,hisson.Beforeyoudo something,hetellsRahula,askyourself,Whatstheintentionhere?WhyamI

144 doingthis?Isitgoingtoleadtosufferingornot?Onlyiftheintentionlooks goodshouldyouactonit.Then,whileyoureacting,youchecktheresultsof youraction.Aftertheactionisdoneyoucheckagain,becausewhilesomeresults areimmediate,othersarelongterm.Soconvictioninkammafocusesyour attentionattherightspotandgetsyouaskingtherightquestions.Heedfulness givesurgencytoyourinvestigation.Andthetwoofthemtogetherleadto discernment. TheteachingsonthesevenfactorsforAwakeningaresimilar.Youstartout withmindfulness.TheBuddhateachesyoutobemindfulofthebodyinandof itself,feelingsinandofthemselves,mindstates,mentalqualitiesinandof themselves.Why?Sothatyoucanbereallyclearonwhatyouractionsareand whattheresultsare.IfyoureconcernedwithotherissuesastheBuddhasays, thingsintheworld,thingsthatotherpeoplearedoingyoumisswhatyoure doing.Soyoufocusrighthere,getyourselfinthepresentmoment,notsimply becausethepresentmomentisagoodmomentinandofitself,butbecauseits theonlyplacewhereyouregoingtoseeyourintentionsinaction. Inthisway,mindfulnessputsyouinapositiontodevelopthesecondfactor forAwakening:thediscernmentfactor,calledanalysisofqualities.The qualitiesherearequalitiesinthemind,mentalstates,inthepresent.Thefoodfor thisfactorisappropriateattentiontotheskillfulandunskillfulstatesarisingin themind.Youpayattentiontotheintentionsyouacton,tryingtoseewhats skillfulandwhatsnot.Andagainthetestforjudgingwhetheryouractionsare skillfulisbytheirresults:Howmuchharmdotheycause?Howmuch happiness?Discernmentfocusesonactionsintermsofcauseandeffect,and worksatdevelopinggreaterandgreaterskillinacting,greaterandgreater sensitivityinevaluatingandlearningfromtheresultsofyouractions,tothe pointwhereyouractionsaresoskillfulthattheyleadtotheDeathless. Thismaysoundunusual,forwereoftentaughtthatBuddhistdiscernment focusesonseeingthingsintermsofthethreecharacteristics:inconstancy,stress, andnotself.Weretaughttolookfortheinconstancy,theimpermanenceof things,andthentoseethatiftheyreinconstanttheymustbestressful;iftheyre stressfultheymustbenotself.Well,thoseteachingshavetobeplacedincontext, andthatcontextistheactofjudgingtheresultsofouractions.Thethree characteristicsaredesignedsothatwedontcontentourselveswithonlya middlinglevelofskillfulness.Inotherwords,youmightbeskillfulenoughto haveagoodjob,aniceplacetolive,agoodfamilylifeinotherwords,ordinary, mundanewellbeingandalotofpeoplegetsatisfiedrightthere.Oryoumight getsatisfiedwithanicestateofconcentration.Youmightbeabletogetthemind centeredprettymuchatwill;thingsdontdisturbyoutoomuch.Alotofpeople stoprightthereitsgoodenoughforthem. Thisiswheretheteachingsonthethreecharacteristicskickin,injudgingthe resultsofyouractions:Aretheyreallysatisfactory?Dotheygivepermanent, constantlydependableresults?Well,no.Iftheydont,thenyouresetting

145 yourselfupforstress,suffering,disappointment.Youresettingyourselftolatch ontothingsthatarenttotallyunderyourcontrol.Inotherwords,theyrenot yours.Youcantsay,Okay,body,dontgetold.Gobackandgetyounger,the wayyouwere,say,fiveortenyearsago.Youcanttellyourpainfulfeelingsto turnintopleasure.Youcantarrangeforonlygoodandusefulthoughtstocome intoyourmind.Thepurposeofthethreecharacteristicsistokeepyoufrom gettingcomplacent.Theyhelpfosterheedfulness,sothatyourstandardsfor judgingyouractionsstayhigh.Injudgingtheresultsofyouractions,yourenot goingtosettleforanythingthatfallsunderthethreecharacteristics.Youll keepingtryingtobecomemoreskillfulinyouractionsuntilyougainresultsthat arentinconstantorstressful,resultswhereselfandnotselfdontapply. Inmoderncultureitsconsideredpsychologicallyunhealthytosetveryhigh standardsforyourself.Whatdoesthatdo?Itcreatesasocietyofverymiddling people,mediocrepeople,peoplewhoexperienceamediocrelevelofhappiness. TheBuddha,though,wasverydemanding,firstwithhimself,andthenwithhis followers.Hesaid,Dontsatisfyyourselfwithjustordinary,everyday wellbeing,becauseitsnotwellallthetime.Whensetyoursights,setthemon somethingofmorepermanentvalue,whathecalledthenoblesearch:the searchforwhatdoesntage,doesntgrowill,doesntdie,forahappinessthat doesntchange. Sothethreecharacteristicsinandofthemselvesarenotthetotalityof Buddhistwisdom,Buddhistdiscernment.Theyhavetobeplacedincontext,the contextofthequestionofskillfulness:Whatareyoudoing?Whatareyour intentions?Whataretheresultsofyouractionsbasedonthoseintentions?Are youcontentwiththemordoyouwantbetter?Thethreecharacteristicsspur youontobemoredemandingofyourself,saying,Iwantbetterthanthis.Ive gotthishumanlife;whatcanIdotogetthemostoutofit?Andtheanswer shouldbe,ImgoingtodothebestIcantofindtruehappiness,something dependable,somethingtoshowforallthesufferingIvebeenthroughasItake birth,age,growill,anddie. Soweshouldthinkabouttheseissuesaswemeditate.Werenotgettinginto thepresentmomentjusttostopthere.Thatwouldbelikesomeonewho,after wadingthroughadensejungle,finallygetstoaroadandthenliesdownonthe road,forgettingthattheroadistheretobefollowedtoseewhereitleadsyou. Whenyougetintothepresentmoment,thatsnotenough.Youhavetolearn howtoaskyourselftherightquestionsaboutthepresentmoment,inparticular, Whatareyourintentionsrightnow,andwhatresultsdotheyhave?Whereare theygoingtotakeyou? Intentionsjustdontfloatinandoutofthemindwithoutleavingatrace.They leavetheirmark.Theydohaveresults.Areyousatisfiedwiththeresults?Ifnot, whatcanyoudotogetbetterresults?Learninghowtoaskthesequestions,the Buddhasaid,iswhatgivesrisetodiscernmentsothatyouractionsgobeyond justtheordinary,mundanelevel.Ashepointedout,therearefourkindsof

146 action:actionsthatareskillfulonamundanelevel,actionsthatarenotskillfulon themundanelevel,actionsthataremixed,andthenactionsthattakeyoubeyond themundanelevel,thatopenyouuptotheDeathlessandbringyoutotheendof action.Thatfourthkindofactioniswhathesaysisreallyworthwhile.Thats whatsspecialabouthisteaching.Thatswhatsdistinctiveabouthisteaching.He discoveredthattheprinciplesofcausalityworkinsuchawaythatyoucanbring yourselftotheUncausedbybeingasskillfulaspossibleinwhatyoudo.Andthe discernmentthatshowsyouhowtoactinthoseways,thatdetectswhatinyour intentionsisskillfulandwhatsunskillful,whatintheresultsofyouractionsare satisfactoryornot:Thatswhatguidesyouintherightdirection. Youtakeyourdesireforhappiness,andyoutakeitseriously.Itsnotthatthe Buddhacondemnsallcraving.Theresapassagewherehesays,Thereisakind ofcravingthathasgoodresultsthecravingthatleadsyouawayfrom repeatedlywanderingon,thedesiretogetoutofthiswandering,todiscontinue thiswandering.Soyoutakethatdesirewhichiswhattheexpressionofmetta isallabout,thedesireforhappiness,bothforyourselfandotherpeopleand youaddtoittheconvictionthatyoucandothingsthatleadtohappiness.You takethatdesire,youtakethatconviction,youputthemtogetherwithagood dashofheedfulness,andthenyoutrytowatchasskillfullyasyoucantosee whatyouredoing.Monitortheresultsofyourpracticeandadjustthemas necessary.Thesefactorsalltakentogetheraretherecipeforthediscernmentthat leadstorelease. Theresnoonetechniquethatcanguaranteethatyoullgaindiscernment,just astheresnoonetechniquethathasamonopolyongivingrisetodiscernment. Thetechniquesarethingsthatyouuseinyourquestfordiscernment,butyour questhastobeinformedbymorethantechniques.Ithastobeinformedbythe rightquestions,bytherightqualitiesofmind,bytherigoryoubringtoyour attentiontowhatyouredoing,byyourwillingnesstosetthehighestpossible standardsforyourself,yourunwillingnesstosettleforahappinessthatfalls underthethreecharacteristics. Thatshowliberatingdiscernmentcomesabout.

147

ProducingExperience
November12,2002 Afriendofmineoncewroteanovelaboutastorytellingcontestbetweenthe godsoftheTaoistheaven.Inthecourseofthenovelyoureadaboutthegods conductingtheirstorycontestitsthemalegodslinedupagainstthefemale gods,buttherearetraitorsonbothsidesandyoualsoreadthestorythey invent,alternatingfromonesidetothenext.Thestorysfullofallkindsof suffering:Ayoungwomangetssoldasaslavetogetherparentsoutofdebt;her newmasterisagoodperson,buthediesoffprettyquickly;hesgotanevil brother,andallkindsofhorriblethingshappen;therearefloods,fires,suicides, lotsofinjusticewhatmakesforagreatstorybutamiserablelife.Andthenat theveryendofthenovelKuanYinappearsandtellstheTaoistgods,Well,now thatyouvetoldthisstory,youregoingtohavetogodownthereandliveit. ThelastimageinthenovelisoftheTaoistgodsalltumblingoutofheavendown totheearththeyvedespisedsomuchbelow.Ofcourse,KuanYinhere representswhatBuddhismdidtoChina:Itbroughtintheteachingonkamma. Werecreatingourlives.Andevenwhenthemindseemstobesimply spinningitswheels,itsnotjustidlyspinningitswheels.Itscreatingnewstates ofbeing,newpossibilitiessomeofwhicharegood,someofwhicharenotso good.Youhavetokeepthatprinciplealwaysinmindasyouremeditating. Yourenotsimplyhereinnocentlywatchingwhatsgoingonwithoutany responsibilityforwhatyoureexperiencing.Youreresponsibleforyour experiencesthroughyouractionsinthepastandinthepresentmoment.Onthe onehand,thissoundsalittleonerousbecausenobodylikestotakeresponsibility. Ontheotherhand,though,itsempowering.Ifyoudontlikethepresent moment,youcancreateanewpresentmomentbecausetheopportunitiestodo soareendless. Werenotjustconsumersofexperiences.Werealsoproducers.Wehaveto keepthisprincipleinmindaswegothroughthepractice.Ourtraininginthe preceptsremindsusthatweshapeourlifebythechoiceswemakeinwhatwe sayanddo.Ourtraininginconcentrationteachesusthathowweapproachthe presentmomentisgoingtomakeabigdifferenceinhowthemomentis experienced.Youcandevelopskillinthewayyoufocusonthebreath,theway youadjustthebreath,thewayyoudevelopsensitivitytowhatsgoingoninthe body.Theseareallthingsyoudoasaproducerofexperiences,andyoucanlearn todothemmoreandmoreskillfullytocreateasenseofwellbeinginthepresent moment. Evenwhentherespaininthebody,evenwhenthereareotherdifficultissues inlife,youcancreateastillcenterforyourself.Youdonthavetobeavictimof whatcomesinfromoutside.Youdonthavetobeavictimofwhatevercomes

148 wellingupfromwithinthemind.Youhavearolerighthere,rightnow,in shapingthings,andasyoudevelopmoremindfulness,developmorealertness, asyourpowersofconcentrationgetmoreandmoresolidyouhavethetools youneedtomakethatpresentexperiencealotmorelivable. Thesameprincipleholdstrueaswetrytodevelopdiscernment.Wereoften toldthatdiscernmentconsistsofseeingthingsasinconstant;andbecausetheyre inconstant,theyrestressful;andbecausetheyrestressful,theyrenotself.Now, mostofusintheWestareusedtoconsumingourexperiences.Wedontbuya FordExplorer.WebuytheFordExplorerexperience.WegotoYosemiteforthe Yosemiteexperience.IfwetaketheBuddhasteachingsondiscernmentoutof contextandputtheminournormalconsumingmode,whatdotheyseemtosay? Theyseemtosay,Lifeisshort.Experiencesarefleeting.Grabasmuchpleasure asyoucan.Andsinceyoucantholdontothingsfortoolongbeforethey change,youhavetotrytoembracethem,appreciatethem,squeezeasmuchas youcanoutofyourexperiences,andthenbequicktoletgobeforetheystart fallingapart.Butthatsokaybecauseotherexperienceswillcomealong,sothat youneverrunoutofthingstoembrace.Inotherwordstheteachingseemstobe tellingushowtobeexpertconnoisseursinconsumingourexperiences. Takingtheteachingsoutofcontextleadstoothermisunderstandingsaswell. Youbegintothink,Ifeverythingsimpermanent,whyspendallthistimetrying todevelopconcentration?Itsallgoingtoendsomedayanyhow.Whytryto developgoodqualitiesinthemind?Theyllallcometonothingeventually.Why dontwejustacceptwhatwevegotandlearntoenjoythat?Butthatstaking theteachingsoutofcontext. WhentheBuddhataughttheteachingsofdiscernment,hestartedwith questionsof,Whatsskillful?Whatsunskillful?WhatcanIdothatwillleadto longtermhappiness?Thisisthefirstsetofquestionsyouresupposedtoaskto developdiscernment.Ifyoulookatyournormalpatternsofconsumption,you begintorealizethatalotofthemareveryunskillful:Theyleadtoonlyshort termtypesofhappiness.Andyourealizeitsnotjusttheconsumption,butits alsowhatyoudotoproducetheseexperiencesthatsunskillful.Youfind yourselfactingongreed,anger,passion,fear,justtogettheexperiencesyou want. Sotogetoutofthatpatternyouwanttodeveloptheskillsthatwillmake yourhappinessmoresolid,longerlasting,lesslikelytoturnonyouandeatyou up.Thisisthetypeofdiscernmentthatunderliesdevelopmentintermsofvirtue andconcentration.Yourefrainfromtheactivitiesthatwouldleadtoinstant gratificationbutlongtermregret,longtermremorse.Youdevelopqualitiesof mindthatcreateasenseofgreaterwellbeingthatdoesnthavetodependon outsidestimuli,thatcanstandupagainstanykindofoutsidesituation. Onceyouvedevelopedthesequalities,youtaketheprocessofdiscernmenta littlebitdeeper.Usethatprincipleofinconstancytoask,Isthereanythingthats notinconstant?DoIhavetokeeponproducing,producing,producingforthe

149 restofeternity?Isntthereatypeofhappinessthatdoesntrequirethat?Soyou turnandlookmorecarefullyatthetypeofhappinessyourecreating.Thenyou runintothequestionof,Whosconsumingthis?Whatisthisconsumer?Whatis thisproducer?Youbegintoseethattheconsumerisalsomadeupofkhandhas youveproduced.Andthisinsightmakesthewholeprocessseemevenmore futile.Whywouldyouwanttogetinvolvedinthisprocesscreatingexperiences forexperiencestoenjoy?Fromthispointofview,evenlongtermhappinessisnt goodenough.Yourpowersofsensitivityhavebeensharpened.Yourinsightinto theprocessofproductionandconsumptionhasgottensharperaswell.And whenyoufinallyreachthepointwhereyouseethatitsnotnecessary,youletgo. Ifyouwereonlyaconsumer,itdbeeasyenoughtocontinueenjoyingthings thatareinconstantaslongasyouvelearnedtomindyourmannersinhowyou embracethingshuggingwithoutgrabbingbutasaproducertherecomesa pointwhenyougettiredofproducing.Youvehadenough.Youseethatallthe effortgoingintoproducingissimplynotworthit.Thatstheinsightthatallows youtodropthings,thatallowsyoutoletgo. Anditsinthatcontextthattheteachingsonthethreecharacteristicshave theirtruemeaning,playtheirtruerole.Likethestorytellersinthenovel,wehave tobecarefulaboutwhatwerecreatingbecauseweregoingtohavetolivein whatwecreate.Keepaskingyourself,Isthisgoodenough?AmIsatisfiedwith whatImcreating?becauseitsnotaneasytasktostopcreating.Ifitwere easy,wewouldnthavetosithereandmeditatesohard.Itsdifficultand, whetherwelikewhatwerecreatingornot,wekeeponcreating.Thatsthe problem. Soaslongasyouregoingtocreate,trytocreateasgoodaworldforyourself asyoucan,asgoodaworldforthepeoplearoundyouasyoucan,untilyouve developedthequalitieswhereyoucanlookintothisworldproductionactivityin yourmind,thisfactorythatkeepschurningthingsoutmomentbymomentby moment,toseeifyoucantakeitapart. Itsoundsalittlescary,butthentheBuddhapromisesthatonceyoutakethese thingsapart,therecomesahappinessthatnothingthatyouvecreatedcanever compareto.Thispromise,togetherwiththerealityofthatuncreated, unfabricatedlevelofhappiness:thatswhatmakesallthisworkweredoinghere morethanworthwhile.

150

MasteringCausality
May,2001 TheytellusthattheheartoftheBuddhasAwakeningwasdiscoveringthe principleofcausality,howcauseandeffectworktoshapeyourexperience.It soundsprettyabstractbutitsactuallydirectlyrelatedtowhatyoure experiencingrightnow.Inotherwords,therestheresultofpastkamma,theres yourpresentkamma,andtherestheresultofpresentkamma.Thosearethe threethingsyoureexperiencingatanygivenmoment. Ofcoursewhenwestartout,italltendstobemixedtogether.Itsjust experience.Wedontseethesepatterns,wedontseethecomponentfactorsas separateanddistinct,sothingsseemprettyrandom.Butifyoulearnhowtolook atwhatyouredoingrightnow,youcometoseethatyourenottotallypassive. Thethingsyoureexperiencingarenotjustcominginatyou.Theresanactive sidetothemindthatgoesoutandshapesthem,addsalittlehere,takesawaya littlebitthere.Youregettingsensitivetothataspectofthemind,towhatyoure doingrightnow.Thatsalargepartoftheinsightyouneedtogaininthe meditation. Mostofusarelikeamanwhogoesstormingintoaroom,actinginan offensiveway,andthenlatercomplains,Thepeopleintheroomseemed awfullydefensive,awfullyunfriendlyasifhedidnthaveanyimpactonthe atmosphereoftheroomthroughhisactions,throughthewayheenteredthe room. Sohowareyoustormingintothepresentmoment?Onewaytofindoutisby checkingonthebreath.Exactlywhatareyoudoingwiththebreathrightnow?Is thebreathingatotallypassive,automaticprocess,orareyoudoingsomethingto thebreath?Istheresomelevelofthemindthatsmakingdecisions?Onewayto findoutistomakeconsciousdecisionsaboutthebreath,nudgingitalittlebit here,alittlebitthere.Werenottalkingaboutmakinghugedifferencesinthe breath,justmakinggradualchangesinwhicheverdirectionseemsmost comfortable. Asyoudothisyoubegintorealizethatyourpresentexperienceofpleasure orpaindependsondecisionsyouremakingrightnow.Youbegintogetmore sensitivetowhatthemindisdoing,particularlyintermsofitsperceptionsand thoughtfabrications,andhowtheserelatetoyourfeelings. Perceptionsarethelabelsyouputonthings.Forexample,youmay experiencethebodyassomethingsolidbreathinginandbreathingout.Well,you canchangethatperception.Seeeverythingyousenseinthebodyrightnowasan aspectofthebreathproperty.Lookatitthatway:everysensationasatypeof breathsensation.Seewhatthatdoestoyoursensationofthebody,thewayyou relatetoit,thewayyouevaluateit,thewayyoubreathe.

151 Andthenyourthoughtfabrications:Usethemtoaskquestions.Howabout breathingthisway?Howaboutbreathingthatway?Andsoyougiveitatry. Asyoudothis,yougetagreaterandgreatersenseofhowmuchyoureally areshapingyourpresentexperience.Thenyoucantakethisinsightandapplyit toissuesofpain,bothphysicalpainandmentalpain.Mostofustendtothinkof ourselvesaspassiverecipients,victimsofaparticularpainattackingus.There doesntseemmuchwecandoaboutit.Thatsbecausewehaveahabitualwayof reactingtopain.Unlesswecanchangethathabit,werenotgoingtoseemuch improvementintheissueofwhyweresuffering,ofhowwesuffer. Butifyoureallylookataphysicalpain,yourealizethatwhilepartofitcomes fromsomethingwrongwiththebody,anotherpartcomesfromwhatthemindis doingtomanagetheexperienceofpain:thewayitpaintsamentalpictureofthe pain,thewayitlatchesontothatmentalpicture,whatitsdoingtomaintainthe paininaparticularwayortomoveitinaparticulardirection.Thatsgoingonall thetime,yetwerenotreallyawareofhowmuchwerecontributingtoourown pain.Thatsthebigissue.Thatsthefirstnobletruth:thepainwerecreating throughourclinging,craving,andignorance. Toseethesethings,youhavetobevery,verysensitivetothepresentmoment andverysensitivetowhatyourinputis.Thisiswhyconcentrationisso important,gettingthemindreallystillsothatitcanseethesethingsvery precisely.Forinstance,whenpainariseswetendtomissthefactthatthemindis constantlylabelingit,Pain,pain,pain,pain,pain.Andinadditiontothelabel ofpainwesometimespaintapictureofittoourselves.Thatactoflabeling,if theresclingingalongwithit,contributestothepain.Andwhenyougetreally sensitivetothemovementsofthemindandthisrequiresgettingthebreath reallystillsothatitsnotinterferingwithwhatyoureseeingyouseethat theresaconstantrepetitiongoingoninthemind.Sometimesthelabeling,the clinging,andtherepetitionaresoinsistentthatthephysicalcauseofthepainhas longsincegone.Theactofclingingistheactualpainyoureexperiencingnow. Sowhenyoulearnhowtosee,Oh,theresthatmentallabelgoingagain, thereitgoesagain,thereitgoesagain:Canyoustopit?Seewhathappenswhen youstopit,whenyoujustdropit.Youllfindthatyourexperienceofthepain changes.Thatswhenyougaininsightintotheissueofwhatyouredoinginthe presentmoment,howyoucontributetotheshapeofyourexperience. Thatsalotofthemeditationrighttherejustsensitizingthemindtowhat itsdoing.Mostoftenthatsourbigblindspot:whatweredoingrightnow. WeresoconsciousofwhatotherpeoplearedoingTheydidthistome,they didthattomebutwerenotlookingatwhatweredoing,whichiswhywhat theyredoingcausesuspain.Manytimesyoucantavoidwhatscomingatyou fromtheoutsideitspastkammabutyoucanavoidtheunskillfulwaysyoure reactingtoit.Sometimesyoufindthatthewayyourereactingtothesituation feedsbackintothesituation,influencingwhatthoseotherpeoplearedoingand

152 makingthesituationworse.Butevenwhenthatsnotthecase,youfindthatyour sufferingreallycomesfromthewayyourelatetotheoutsidesituation. Thatswhatthefirstnobletruthisallabout,clingingtothefiveaggregates: clingingtotheformofthebody,clingingtoyourfeelings,perceptions,thought fabrications,orconsciousness.Whenyoustopclingingtotheseaggregates,then eventhoughtheyrestillimpermanentandtherestillmaybesomestressin them,itdoesntweighonthemind.Thebridgehasbeencutsothatitdoesnt connect.Youstopliftingthingsup,asinAjaanSuwatsimage:Themountain maybeheavyinandofitself,butifyourenottryingtoliftitupthenitsnot heavyforyou. Soyouvegottoseewhereyouredoingyourheavyliftingandthentryto understandwhy.Onlywhenyouunderstandwhyyouredoingthingscanyou reallystop.Sometimesinthecourseofameditationyoucanforceyourselfto stop,butiftheresnorealunderstanding,thenassoonasthemindgetsbackto itsoldways,itgoesliftingthings,pickingthemup,carryingthemaroundagain. Butifyoulookintowhyyoureliftingthesethings,whatmisunderstandingslie behindwhatyouredoing,whyyoufeelthatyouhavetocarrythesethings around:Thatsalotoftheinsightrightthere. Itsanoldhabit,thewaythemindcontributestothingsinthepresent moment,particularlythewaysitcausesitselfunnecessarysuffering.Wethink thatanundercurrentofsufferingisanecessarypartofexperience,butitsnot. Whenyouseeitasstress,whenyouseeitasaburdenandyourealizethatits notnecessary,thatswhenyoureallyletgo. Socheckonexactlywhereyourclingingisrightnow,whereyoure contributingtounnecessarysuffering.Trytomakethemindasstillaspossible andthenstaytheretoobserve:Istherestillsomestresshere?Istherestilla senseofburdensomenesshere?Whatelseisgoingalongwiththat?Canyousee anyactivity,anyintentionthatsgoingalongwiththatstress?Andifyoucatch sightofthatactivity,thatintention,youdropit. Itsalmostinvariablysomethingyoudidntrealizeyouweredoing, somethingyouwereholdingonto,inthesenseofrepeatingitmindlessly. Sometimesyoureawarethatyoureholdingontotheactofintention,butyou thinkyouvegottoholdon:Thisisthecoreofmybeing,thisiswhoIam,thisis thewaymymindhastowork.Well,itdoesnthavetoworkthatway.Learn howtoquestionthoseassumptions.Learnhowtoletgoalittlebit.Thisloosens thingsupinthemind.Thethingsyouneversawbefore,nowyousuddenlysee. Thisburdenyoucreateforyourselfistotallyunnecessary.Whatyouthought wasnecessary,thewaythingshadtobe:Theydonthavetobethatwayatall. ThatsthewholemessageoftheBuddhasAwakening:theprincipleofcausality wevebeentalkingabout.Heappliedittoseehowthesufferingthemind experiencesinthepresentmomentisnotnecessary.Thatswhytheprincipleof causalitywassoimportant.Herealizedtheinputhewasputtingintothepresent momentthatwascreatingthesufferingandhelearnedtostop.

153 Andwhathappenedwhentherewasnoinputinthepresentmoment?Aswe meditatewefindthatourinputgetsmoreandmoreandmoresubtle.Oftentimes werenotevenawareofanyinput.Wetellourselvesthatweresittinghere perfectlypeaceful,perfectlycalm,nothingsgoingon,butactuallytheresalot goingoninthemindthatweremissing.Itsinablindspot.Whenyoubeginto seethatblindspot,begintoletgoofwhatsinthere,thatswhenthingsopenup, thatswhenthemeditationcanreallystartmakingaradicalchangeinthemind. Alotoftherelationshipsinyourmindwhereyouthought,Thisisthatway andthatsthiswayyoubegintorealizearenotnecessarilyso.Andthe realizationthattheyrenotnecessary:Thatswheretheliberationlies. Soacontinuityrunsthroughoutthewholeprocessofmeditationfromthe verybeginning.If,whileyouresittinghere,themindslipsoff,justbringitright back.Ifitslipsoffagain,justbringitrightbackagain.Eventhismuchcanmake youmoreconsciousofwhatyouredoinginthepresentmoment.Yougetmore consciousofhowthemindhasitsblindspotsandyoulearntomakethemmore andmoreandmoresubtle,lessdominantinthemind.Inotherwords,youtryto cutthroughthemasmuchasyoucan.Whathappens,ofcourse,isthattheyfind moresubtlewaystohide,butatleastyougainameasureofcontroloverthe mindandagreatersenseofwhatyouredoinginthepresentmoment. Thatscrucialtothemeditation.Youkeepapplyingthatprincipletomore subtlelevels,forthesameprincipleholdsallthewaythrough.Itsjustthatas youkeepworkingonit,itrequiresmoreprecision.Butthatssomethingyoucan develop.Afterall,thisisaskill.ThatsanotheroneoftheBuddhasgreat discoveries.Theabilitytolearnthepathtoliberationisaskillyoucanmasterin thesamewaythatyoumasterotherskills:lookingattheresultsofyouractions, reflectingbackonwhatyoudid,andtryingtoadjustthingssothattheykeep gettingmoreandmoreprecise,moreandmoresubtle,lessburdensometothe mind. Awakeningisntsomethingthatjustdropsonpeoplewithouttheirbeing awareofwhattheyredoing.Itsnotanaccidentorsomethingthatcomesfrom outside.Itrequiresthatyougetreallysensitivetothisteachingonkamma:Iam theownerofmyactions.Youreactingrightnow,sobeverycarefulaboutwhat youdo,inthesamewaythatyoudbeverycarefulaboutbuildingafire,careful aboutsharpeningaknife,carefulaboutalltheotherskillsyouneedinlife.Its justthat,indealingwiththemind,youneedtobeevenmorecareful,evenmore precise.Itrequiresmoresubtlety.Butthissimpleprocessofjustgettingmore skillfulinhowyourelatetothepresentmoment:Thatcantakeyouallthewayto Awakening. Andthatrightthereisrevolutionary.

154

TheSixProperties
March,2003 InEnglishwehaveaverylimitedvocabularyfordescribinghowthebody feelsfromtheinside.Wefeeltinglyorwefeelheavy.Wehaveantscrawling onourskinorbutterfliesinourstomachs.Therearenotthatmanywords,and nothingreallysystematic.ThisiswheretheBuddhasteachingontheproperties ishelpful.Itprovidesasystematicwayofcategorizingthefeelingsyouhavein thebodyhowthebodyfeelsfromtheinsidealongwithasenseofwhatyou candowiththosefeelings.Thisteachingalsogivesyouaveryclearsenseofhow muchyourpresentinputshapesthewayyouexperiencethebody,andan immediate,veryvisceralwayofusingthatpresentinputtobalancethingsout,to makethebodyaneasierplaceinwhichtosettledown. Thetextslistthepropertiesassix:earth,water,wind,fire,space,and consciousness.Itsoundslikemedievalchemistry.Weddobetterthough,tolook atthesepropertiesaswaysofcategorizingthesensationsthatmakeuptheway thebodyfeelsfromtheinside.Theearthsensationsarefeelingsofheavinessor solidity;waterwouldbecoolsensations;fireisofcoursewarm;windisthemotion backandforth;spaceisthefeelingsofemptiness;andconsciousnessistheproperty thatsawareofallthesethings. Thetheorybehindthesepropertiesisthattheygetprovoked.Inotherwords, astheygetemphasized,assomeincidentstrengthensthemorkickstheminto action,theygetstronger.Ontheexternallevel,naturaleventsoccurwhenthe externalpropertiesgetprovoked.Floodscomefromtheprovocationofthewater property;hugefiresorintenseheat,fromtheprovocationofthefireproperty; hugewinds,fromtheprovocationofthewindproperty.Interestingly,thetexts alsoattributeearthquakestothewindproperty.Thismeansthatwindrefersnot onlytothewindintheair,butalsotothemotiondownintheearth.Apparently earthwastheonlypropertythatwasntprovokable,ontheexternallevelatleast, butitwouldmovewhenthewindpropertygotintotheact. Whateverwemaythinkoftheseconceptsaswaysofdescribingexternal events,theyreaveryusefulwayoflookingatinternalevents,attheexperience ofthebodyassensedfromwithin.Classically,theinternalpropertiesareusedto explaindisease.Giddinessorlightheadednessisasignoftoomuchwind property,asignthatthewindpropertyhasbeenprovoked.Withfever,ofcourse, thefirepropertyhasbeenprovoked.Afeelingoflethargyorheavinessinyour limbsisasignoftoomuchearthproperty. Thesearethingsyoucanplaywithinyourmeditation.Thatswherethe teachingreallybecomesuseful,becauseitallowsyoutoseehowthewayyou focusonthebodyhasanimpactonhowyouperceivethebody,howyou actuallysensethebody.Wethinkofsensationsasbeingprimary,theraw

155 material,thebasicbuildingblocksofexperience,butthereareconscious decisionsbeingmadethatprecedethesensations.Lookattheteachingon dependentorigination.Sankhara,orfabricationiswaydownthere,priortothe sensationsyoufeelintermsofform,feeling,andsoforth. Sohowareyougoingtofabricatethebody?Iftherearefeelingsoftensionin thebody,sometimesthatsasignoftoomuchearthproperty,soyoucanthinkof thebreath.Thisisoneofthereasonswestartwiththebreath.Itstheproperty thatsmosteasilymanipulatedclassicallyitscalledthekayasankhara,thefactor thatfashionsthebody.Itsalsothepropertythatmostdirectlyworksthrough tension.Wherevertheresasenseoftension,focusonitandseeifyoucangeta senseofgentle,healingmotiongoingthroughit.Thepotentialformotionis there,simplythattheperceptioncontributingtothetensionhasblockedit.So youcanconsciouslydecidethatyouregoingtoperceivemotionthere.Giveita chancetohappen,andthepotentialformotion,thepotentialformovement throughthatpartofthenervoussystem,willgetstrengthened,willget arousedwhichmaybeabetterwayoftranslatingthewordthatIjusttranslated asprovoked.Thebreathpotentialgetsaroused.Whenyourawarenessofthe breathisarousedorheightened,itcanmovethroughthatsenseofblockage. Whenyourefeelinggiddyormanic,youcanthinkoftheearthpropertyto settlethingsdown.Iftheresjusttoomuchfreneticenergyinthebody,youcan thinkofyourbonesbeingmadeofiron,ofyourhandsandfeetweighingaton. Whereveryouhaveasenseofsolidityinthebody,focusonthatandtryto magnifyit.Youfindthatyourchoiceoftheimageyoureusing,yourpurposein choosingit,willreallyaffectthewayyoustartsensingthatpartofthebody. Thenyoucantakethatsensationandspreaditout,connectingitwithother sensationsofsolidityinthebody.Thepotentialforsolidityisalwaysthere. Whenyourefeelingdepressedandweigheddown,thinkoflighter sensations,ofthebreathgivingalifttothedifferentpartsofthebody.When yourehot,thinkofthewaterproperty.Focusonwhateversensationsinthe bodyarecoolerthantheothers.Reallykeepyourfocusrightthere,andthink water,waterorcool,cool.Youllfindthatothercoolsensationsinthebody willappeartoyourawareness.Thepotentialforthemwaswaiting,simplythat theyneededtheelementofpresentintentiontohighlightthem. Whenyourefeelingcold,focusinonwarmth.Therewillbesomepartofthe bodythatswarmerthantheothers,sofocusinonit.Thinkofthewarmth stayingthereandspreadingtootherpartsofthebodywhereotherwarm sensationswillgetaroused. Youcandothisatanystageintheconcentration,althoughitsmosteffective whenthebreathisstill.Atthatpointthebodyfeelslikeacloudofmist,little pointsofsensation,andeachlittlesensationhasthepotentialtobeanyoneof thesefourproperties.WhenyoursenseofthebodyisreducedtowhattheFrench wouldcallpointillism,itsaloteasier,simplywithathought,toemphasize eithertheheavinessorthelightness,themovement,thewarmthorthecoolness

156 ofthosesensations,thesensationpotentialsyouvegotthere.Thiswayyou accomplishtwothingsatonce.Ontheonehandyoubalanceoutthebody. Wheneveronetypeofsensationfeelstoooppressive,youcanthinkofthe opposingsensationtobalanceitout.Ontheother,youstartseeingtheroleof presentintentioninyourawareness,inyourexperienceofthepresentmomentin averyvisceralway. Whenthingsgrowverystillandbalancedintermsofthesefourproperties, withthismistofpotentialsensationsthatcangoinanydirection,youcanalso focusonthespacebetweenthepoints.Realizethatthespaceisboundless.Itgoes throughthebodyandoutinalldirections.Justthinkthat:infinitespace.Stay withthesensationofinfinitespacethatcomesalongwiththeperception.The potentialforitisalwaysthere;itssimplythattheperceptionarousesit.Itsa verypleasantstatetogetin.Thingsseemalotlesssolid,alotlessoppressive. Youdontfeelsotrappedinthebody. AjaanFuangoncehadastudent,anoldwoman,whostartedpracticing meditationwithhimwhenhewasgettingreadytoleaveWatAsokaram.After heleft,shehadtopracticeonherownforquiteawhile.Oneevening,whenshe wassittinginmeditationwiththegroupinthemeditationhall,avoicecameto herandsaid,Youregoingtodietonight.Shewasalittletakenaback,butthen sheremindedherself,Well,ifImgoingtodie,thebestwayistodie meditating.Soshejustsatthereandwatchedtoseewhatwouldhappenasthe bodydies,toseewhatitwouldbelike.Therewasanactualsensationofthebody beginningtofallapart.Allofthevariouspropertiesweregoingtheirseparate ways,shesaid,likeahouseonfire.Therewasnoplaceinthebodywhereyou couldfocusyourawarenessandhaveanysenseofcomfortatall.Sofora momentshefeltlost,butthensheremembered,Well,theresthespace property.Soshefocusedinonthespaceproperty,andallthatsenseofthe houseonfiresuddenlydisappeared.Therewasaverystrongsenseofinfinite space.Therewasalwaysthepotentialtogobacktothebody.(Thisissomething youllnoticewhenyoureatthispointinyourmeditation:Therearethespots thatcouldprovideapotentialfortheformofthebodybutyouchosenottofocus onthem.Insteadyoufocusonthesenseofspaceinbetweenandallaround. Theresasenseofboundlessnessthatgoeswithit.) Whenshecameoutofmeditation,ofcourse,shehadntdied.Shewasstill alive.Butshehadlearnedanimportantlesson,thatwhenthingsgetreallybadin thebodyyoucanalwaysgotospace.EventhoughitsnotAwakening,andits nottheunconditioned,stillitsalotbetterthanbeingimmersedinturmoilalong withthepropertiesinthebody. Sothepropertiesprovideausefulwayoflookingatthepotentialsinthe presentmoment.Theyalsomakeiteasiertogettothatsenseofawarenessitself thatyoureadaboutsomuchinthewritingsoftheThaiAjaans.Onceyourewith infinitespace,droptheperceptionofspaceandseewhatsleft.Therewilljust beaperceptionofknowing,knowing,knowing,whichtakesitsplace.Youdont

157 havetoask,Knowingwhat?Theresjustawareness,awareness,orknowing, knowing. Onceyouvegoteverythingdividedupintopropertieslikethis,youvegot therawmaterialsforgaininginsight.Thetermsofanalysismayinitiallyseem strange,butonceyougetavisceralsenseofwhattheyrereferringto,youllfind themextremelyuseful.Theynotonlygivethemindagoodplacetosettledown inthestillnessofconcentration,buttheyalsohelpyougaininsightintotheway perceptionshapesyourexperienceofthebody,shapesyourperceptionofwhats goingonhereinthepresentmoment,seeinghowfabricateditallis.Youvegot potentialscominginfrompastkamma,butyouvealsogottheelementof presentchoice,whichbecomesextremelyclearwhenyouanalyzethingsinthis way. WhenIfirstwenttostaywithAjaanFuang,hehadmememorizeAjaanLees DivineMantra:sixpassagesdealingwiththedifferentproperties.Foralongtime itseemedveryforeigntomeuntilonenightIwaschantingthepassageonthe propertyofconsciousnessandIrealizedthatitwasreferringtotheawareness thatsrighthere.Thisawareness.Righthere.Whenthisrealizationhit,itwasasif ahugeiceberginmyheartsuddenlymelted.Iwasntdealingwithsomeoutside, foreignframeofthinking;instead,itwassomethingextremelydirect,immediate, righthereandnow.ThatwaswhenIbegantogetasenseofwhyAjaanFuang hadaskedmetomemorizethechant,whyhewantedallofhisstudentstothink abouttheirpresentexperienceintermsoftheproperties. Sokeepthismodeofanalysisinmind.Trytogetsomesenseofitasyouput ittouse,andyoullfindthatitsextremelyusefulinthepractice.Aswithallof theBuddhasteachings,theimportanceoftheteachingiswhatyoudowithit, andwhatitdoesforyouinhelpingtogaininsightintohowstressandsuffering arecreatedinthepresentmomentandhowyoudonthavetocreatethem,if youpayattention,ifyouworkattheseskills.

158

Fabrication
March,2001 Themindhasabasichabit,whichistocreatethings.Infact,whenthe Buddhadescribescausality,howexperiencescomeabout,hesaysthatthepower ofcreationorsankharathementaltendencytoputthingstogetheractually comespriortooursensoryexperience.Itsbecausethemindisactive,actively puttingthingstogether,thatitknowsthings. Theproblemisthatmostofitsactions,mostofitscreations,comeoutof ignorance,sothekindofknowledgethatcomesfromthosecreationscanbe misleading.Forthisreason,whatyouwanttodointheprocessofmeditationis tobackup,togetdownasclosetothisprocessofcreationasyoucan,toseeif theresawaytodoitskillfullythatleadstoknowledge,thatleadsyoutoapoint thatbreaksthroughignorance.Andthismeans,insteadofbuildingupalotof things,youletthingsfallapartsoyoucangetdowntoexactlywherethesebasic forcesinthemindareputtingthingstogether. Nowitsohappensthatwhenwebringthemindtothebreath,wehaveall thesebasicforcesrighthereintheirmostelementalforms.Thebreathisthe factorthatfashionsthebody.Itswhattheycallkayasankharaorthephysical puttingtogether.Thebreathiswhatputslifetogetherinthebody.Ifitwerent forthebreathhere,thingswouldstartfallingapartreallyquickly. Thentheresverbalfabrication,vacisankhara,theactofputtingthingsin words.Thetwobasicverbalsankharasaredirectedthoughtandevaluation,and youvegotthoserighthere,too.Youdirectyourthoughtstothebreathandthen evaluatethebreath:Howdoesthebreathfeel?Doesitfeelgood?Ifitdoes,stay withit.Ifitdoesntfeelgood,youcanchangeit.Thisisaboutthemostbasic levelofconversationyoucanhavewithyourself:Doesthisfeelgoodornot? Comfortableornot?Yes.No. Andthenyouworkwiththat.Whatareyouworkingwith?Youreworking withmentalfabrication,cittasankhara,whichcoversfeelingandperception: feelingsofpleasure,pain,ofneitherpleasurenorpain.Andthenperceptionsare thelabelsthemindgivestothings:Thisispleasant.Thisispainful.Thisisthis andthatisthat. Whenyouvegotthemindwiththebreath,youvegotallofthesethings broughttogether:thefeelingsthatcomewiththebreath,theperceptionsthat labelthebreath:Nowthebreathiscomingin.Nowthebreathisgoingout. Nowthemindislikethis.Nowitslikethat.Thedirectedthoughtandthe evaluationarethereaswell,keepingyoufocusedonthebreathandon evaluatingthebreath.Sothesethingsarealltogether.Ifyoustrayawayfrom here,youreusuallystrayingawayintodistraction,intotherealmoffurther

159 elaboration,inwhichyoulosethisbasicframeofreferenceandcreateawhole otherone.Itswhattheycallbecominginthetexts,whenyoucreateother worldsinthemind.Onceyougetintothoseotherworlds,youlosetouchwith theprocessofcreation,youlosetouchwithhowbecomingisbroughttogether. Soyouvegottolearnhowtotakethoseworldsofdistractionandtheprocesses thatformthemapart. TheBuddhatalksaboutvariouswaysofdealingwithdistraction.Once youverealizedyouveleftyouroriginalframeofreference,youbringyourself back.Inotherwords,youremindyourself.Insomecases,thesimpleactof remindingisenoughtodispersethatotherlittleworldyouvecreatedfor yourselfandcomebacktothisone. Othertimesyouhavetoreflectactivelyonthedrawbacksofthatotherworld, ofthethinkingthatcreatesit,especiallyifitsthinkingimbuedwithlust, aversion,delusion,orharmfulness.Youvegottoremindyourself,Whatwould happenifIthoughtaboutthisforawhile?Well,youdcreatecertainhabitsin themind,andoncethosehabitsareimbeddedinthemindtheyleadtoactions thatcancreateallkindsofproblems.Whenyouseethedrawbacksofthatkindof thinking,yousay,Idontneedthat.Ivehadenoughofthatinmylife.You dropitandcomebacktothebreath. Othertimesyoucanconsciouslyignorethedistraction.Alittleworldappears inyourmindandyousay,Idontwanttoenterintothat,butforsomereason itjustdoesntgoaway.Yourealizethereasonitsnotgoingawayisbecause yourepayingattentiontoit.Evenifyoudontlikeit,payingattentiontoitis enoughtokeepitgoinglikeatartrap.Youtouchthetarwithyourhandand yougetstuck.Youtrytopullyourselfloosefromthetarwiththeotherhandand yougetbothhandsstuck.Pullyourselfoffwithyourfoot,yourfootgetsstuck. Bitethetar,yourmouthgetsstuck.Sotheonlywaytodealwithitistonottouch it.Inotherwords,dontpayattentiontoit.Youknowitsthere,butyoujust dontgiveitanymind.Afterawhile,fromlackofattention,itlldieaway. Afourthwayofpullingyourselfbackistonoticethatwhentheresthis processofcreation,whentherearetheselittleworldsyoucreateinyourmind,an elementoftensiongoeswiththem.Thingswouldbealoteasierifyoudidnt createtheseworlds,ifyoudjustrelaxwhateverphysicalandmentaltension supportsthesethings.Solookforthetension.Onceyoucanlocateit,justrelaxit. Whenyourelaxthetension,thethoughtgoesaway. Afifthway,whennoneoftheseothermethodswork,istotellyourself, Okay,Imgoingtoclenchmyteeth,pressmytongueagainstthepalate,andI willnotthinkaboutthatotherthing.Inotherwords,justthroughtheforceof yourwillyouforceitoutofyourmind.Thisisthemethodoflastresort:theone thatstheleastpreciseandworksonlyaslongasyourwillpowerlasts.But sometimesitstheonlythingthatwillcleartheair.Ifweweretocomparethese variousmethodstotools,thiswouldbethesledgehammer.Itmaybecrude,but

160 youneedoneinyourarsenalforcaseswhenscalpelsandExactoknivescant handlethejob. Sowhenoneoftheseotherlittleworldsgetscreatedinyourmind,youuse whicheverofthesemethodsworktoletgoofitandbringyourselfbacktothe mostbasiclevelsoftheprocessofcreation:thebreath,directedthought, evaluation,feelings,perceptions.Stayrightonthislevel. Whatdoyoudowiththemonthislevel?Well,youcancreatelevelsof concentrationinthemind.Concentrationisakindofcreation,butitsacreation thatinsteadofobscuringtheprocessofwhatsgoingoninthemindactually makesitclearer.Youcreate,butwithoutleavingthesebasiclevelsofyourframe ofreference.Inotherwords,youputthemtouseinanewway.Youputfeelings touseinanewway.Youlearnhowtocreateafeelingofpleasurefromthe breathsothatthepleasuregetsmoreandmoreintense,moreandmoresolid. Justtheactofsittingherebreathinggetsreallyrefreshing.Andifyoustaywith thefeelingasafeeling,inandofitself,itdoesntpullyouoffintoothermental worlds.Youstayrighthere.Itfeelsgoodrighthere. Soinsteadoffeedingonthepleasureinanaimlessway,youdoitina systematicway.Thatwayyoucankeepthemindwithasenseofpleasure,a senseofrapture,anditdoesntwanderoff.Thatswhattheconcentrationisall about.Asitstrengthensthemind,itgivesdirectiontothemind.Ittakesthe desireforpleasureandputsittogooduse.Oncethemindfeelscomfortablein thepresentmoment,itsnotgoingtowanderoffanyplaceelse.Itfeelsgoodright here.Alotmoresatisfactioncomesfromthesenseofeaserightherethanfrom thelittlebitsandpiecesofsatisfactioncomingfromtheotherworldsyoucan createwithyourmind. Again,thisisaprocessofcreation,butitsalotmoreskillfulthannormal.It keepsthingsonabasiclevelwhereyoureintouchwiththeprocess.Youdont losesightofit.Itslikethedifferencebetweensittingoutinanaudience watchingaplayandbeingbehindthestage.Behindthestage,youseetheactual play,butyoualsoseewhatgoesonbehindit.Inthatway,yourealotlesslikely togetcarriedawaybytheillusionoftheplay. Now,ofcourse,painisgoingtocomeintoyourmeditationaswell. Sometimesitsoutandoutpain.Othertimesitsmoresubtle.Andagain,aswith thepleasure,insteadofthinkingthatyoureonthereceivingendofthepain,a victimofthepain,youstartputtingittouse.Thepainisthereforyouto comprehend.ThatswhattheBuddhasaidinhisteachingsonthefournoble truths:Thetaskwithregardtopainistocomprehendit.Oncethemindissolid enoughandstableenoughsoasnottofeelthreatenedbythepain,itcananalyze thepainonwhateverlevelitmaybe,searingpainormoresubtlestress.Asyou comprehendthepain,youstartfindingthatyouunderstandthemindalot better,too.Allthelittleanimalsinthemindthattendtogatheraroundpain:You begintonoticewhotheyare,whattheyare,andyourealize,Thatsnotme.Its justthesethoughtsthattendtoclusteraroundpain.Ifyouwanttoidentifywith

161 them,youcan,buttheyregoingtoturnyourmindintoamenagerie.Theyre goingtocreatealotofturmoil.Andsoyoulearnhowtoletthemgo. Evenwhenyourefocusedonthepleasantlevelsofconcentration,youllfind thatasyougetmoreandmoresensitivetowardthesevariouslevels,asubtle elementofstressaccompanieseachoneofthem.Onceyouidentifywherethat stressis,youletitgo.Thattakesyoutoamoresubtlelevelofconcentration.You staythereforawhile.Inthebeginning,youdontnoticethestressinthenew level.Itslikegoingintoabrightroomwhereyoureyeshaventyetadjustedto thelight.Atfirstyouseenothingbutthedazzle.Butifyoustaythereforlong enough,youreyesbegintoadjustandyoubegintonotice,Oh,thereareshapes, thereareforms,therearethingsinthisroomthatyoucansee. Itsthesameasyougofromonelevelofconcentrationtothenext.Takethe stressofdirectedthoughtandevaluation,forinstance.Oncethebreathreally feelsfull,reallyfeelssatisfying,youdontneedtokeepevaluatingit.Youdont havetokeepremindingyourselftostaywithit.Yourejustthere,there,there, there,therewithabasicperception.Youletgoofthedirectedthoughtand evaluation,andBongyoucomedowntoamuchdeeperlevel. Yougothroughthisstepbystep.Yourealizewhatanimportantrole perceptionsplayinthis,thelabelsyouputonthings.Youreconstantlylabeling thebreath.Whenthebreathisstillsothatyoucandropthatlabel,youbeginto labelthesenseofspacethatsleft,thenthesenseofknowingthatsleftasyou dropthelabelforspace,thenallthewayuptothesphereofnothingness. Thatsstillcalledaperceptionattainment.Itsbasedonthelabelthatthemind putsontheexperiencethatkeepsyouthere. Soagain,yourewiththeseverybasic,basiclevelsofcreationinthemind. Whenyoustarttakingthemapart,thatswhenthingsreallygetinteresting. Insteadofbuilding,building,buildingup,yourelettinggo,lettinggo,lettinggo, bitbybitbybit.Andthen,ofcourse,youregettingattachedtothenewlevelyou reach,butitsagoodattachment.Otherwise,youdgofloatingofftoother worlds.Thisattachmenthere,atleast,keepsyouinthepresentmomentwhere thingscanbegintoopenup.Andinsteadofelaboratingonit,youkeepapplying theteachingsofthefournobletruthsandkeepthequestionsbasic:Whereisthe stresshere? Thisisespeciallyimportantwhenyougettothelevelofinfinitudeof consciousnessortheinfinitudeofspace.Onthoselevelsitseasytodevelopa sensethatyouvereachedthegroundofbeingfromwhichallthingscomeandto whichallthingsreturn.Ifyourenotcareful,youcanreallystartphilosophizing onthistheme,elaboratingonit,gettingintoallkindsofabstractionsaboutthe relationshipbetweentheabsoluteandtherelative,emanationallsortsofbig, buzzwordissues.Buttheyretotallyirrelevanttotherealprobleminthemind thattheresstillstresshere.Ifyourestillstuckhere,youhaventgonebeyond, youhaventreachedtheDeathless.

162 Youvegottokeepaskingthatsameoldbasicquestion:Whereistherestress here?Lookforit.Seewhatyouredoingthatkeepsthestressgoing,seethatits unnecessary,andthenletgo.Ultimatelyyouopenuptosomethingtotally unfabricated. Soinsteadofbuildingthingsupthatpullyouawayfromthepresent,you startbybuildingupstatesofconcentrationinthemind.Thesearetypesof fabrication,ofcourse,buttheyrethetypeoffabricationthatkeepsyouwithin thisframeofreference:theveryabsolutepresent.Theydontdistractyouinto otherlevelswhereyoulosetouchwiththebasicbuildingblocksintheprocessof fabrication. ThisisabasicpatternthroughouttheBuddhasteachings:Beforeyouletgo ofthings,youfirsthavetolearntodothemskillfully,mindfully,withawareness. Thedoing,themasteringoftheskill,iswhatenablesyoutoknowthem.This bringsusbacktothatbasicprinciplewetalkedaboutearlier:Wewouldntknow anything,therewouldbenoawarenessatall,iftherewerentanydoinginthe mind.Youhavetolearnhowtodothingsmoreandmoreskillfullyuntilfinally youcangettoalevelwherethemindbecomestoosensitivetodoanything.And atthatpointitopensuptoatotallydifferentkindofawareness. Soyoumakeuseofwhatyouvegot.TheBuddhanoticedthatallthings fabricatedhaveanelementofstress.Butwhatareyougoingtodo?Howareyou goingtogettotheunfabricated?Youcantusetheunfabricatedasatoolbecause thatwouldbefabricatingit,andthatsnotitsnature.Youlearnhowtousethe processoffabricationinamoreskillfulway.Youdividethingsupintothefour nobletruths.Theresstress,theoriginationofstress,thecessationofstress,and thepath.Thepathisaprocessoftakingthingsthatarestressfulthese perceptions,thesefeelings,theseprocessesofcreationandusingthemina skillfulway.Soyouusefabricationtoundofabricationandthenfinallyreacha pointwhereeverythingopensuptotheunfabricated. Itsanextremelyskillfulpath,askillfulapproach.Ittakestherawmaterials thatwevegotaroundusallthetimetheactivitiesthatweordinarilyuseto createexperienceandteachesushowtousetheminamoreskillfulway. Gettingdowntobasics.Keepingawayfromabstractions.Oncetheresan abstractioninthemind,theresanewlevelofbeinginthere,anewframeof reference;itpullsyouawayfromthepresent.Alotofselfdelusioncomes throughabstraction.Alotofopportunityforlyingtoyourselfcomesthrough abstraction.Sowekeepthingsbasic.Wekeepournosetotheground.Justlook atthebasicthingswehave:physical,verbal,andmentalfabrication.Learnhow toputthemtotheproperuse.Usethemmoreandmoreskillfully.Getmoreand moreintouchwiththeactualprocessoffabricationrighthereinthepresent moment.Thatswherethingsopenup.

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AttheDooroftheCage
July30,2003 Ourpracticerequiresalotoflettinggo.Weprefertothinkthatitinvolves lettinggoofthingsthatwedontlikewhileallowingustoholdontothethings wedolike,butactuallyitrequiresalotmorelettinggothanthat. SeveralyearsbackIwasleadingadaylongdiscussiononthefournoble truths.Whenwegottothethirdnobletruth,thecessationofsuffering,the passageswewerediscussingcontaineddescriptionsofnibbana,andthegeneral consensusinthegroupwasthattheydidntlikethesoundofit.Itseemedtoo alien,tooforeigntobereallyappealing.Thenwegottothefourthnobletruth andwestartedtalkingaboutrightconcentration.Thatsoundedveryappealing: raptureandpleasurepermeatingtheentirebody.Thosewerethingsyoureally couldgetyourmindaround.Theysoundedcompelling.Andthatsthewayitis withthepractice:Youhavetodevelopthefourthnobletruth,thepathof practice,beforeyoucanappreciatethethird.Youhavetoholdontoright concentrationbeforeyoucanletgointotheDeathless. TheBuddhasstrategyinteachingustoletgoistogiveusbetterandbetter thingstoholdonto.Forexample,hegetsyoutoholdontostatesofgood concentration.Thenwhenyouturnaroundandlookatthingsthatwould normallyinciteyourlust,youranger,yourdesireorpassion,yourealizethat theyrenotworthit.Youdmuchratherholdontothestillness,thestateof satisfaction,thestateofwellbeingthatcomeswithyourconcentration.Soyou burnyourbridgesbehindyouandholdontoconcentrationasyouronlytrue happinessinlife.Onlythen,whentheBuddhahasyoucorneredlikethat,does hehaveyouthinkofthedrawbacksnotonlyofthethingsyouvealreadyleft behindbutalsooftheconcentrationyoureholdingto. Onlywhenyouseethedrawbacksofconcentrationcanyourealizethatthe onlyalternativeistheDeathless.Theonlythingthatwouldreallyappealtoyou atthatpointistheDeathless.Thatswhenthedooropens. Asthetextssay,thefirststageininsightistofocusonthedrawbacksof anythingthatsfabricated.Thenextstageisforthemindtoinclinetothe Deathless.NormallythemindwillnotinclinetotheDeathlessunlessitfeelsthat thatstheonlywayout.Otherwiseitsalwaysgoingtofindsomeotherplaceto go,someothercornertohidein.Soyouneedtorememberthattheteachingson, say,thethreecharacteristicsinconstancy,stress,andnotselfarepartofa courseoftraining,andthatthedifferentteachingsmakesenseonlyinparticular stagesofthetraining.Onlywhenyoureintherightstageforaparticular teachingwillitdoitsintendedwork. Ordinarily,wedliketoleapfrogovertheconcentrationtogettothe discernment,becausewereverybusypeople,afterall.Wevegotalottodoin

164 ourlives,sowewanttogettothemainpointofthisBuddhismthingandthengo ontosomethingelse.Butthatsnothowthepracticeworks.Youhavetoput yourmindinparticularstates,youhavetogetattachedtoparticularstates, beforetheteachingscanfunctioninthewaytheyresupposedto.Ifyouthink abouttheinconstancy,stress,andnotselfnessofthingsyourenotattachedto,it doesntreallymakeanimpact.Orifyoutellyourselfthateverythingis inconstant,stressful,andnotselfbeforethemindhasasafeplacetosettledown, thosethoughtscanbereallyunsettlinganddisorienting.Onlywhenyoureina relativelystableplacementally,andreadytolookforawayoutfromeventhe subtleinstabilitythere,willthosethoughtsprovidethewayout. YearsbackIwasflyingonanairplanewheretheyshowedthemovie,Close EncountersoftheThirdKind.Ididnthavethesoundtracktogoby,buteven withoutpayingmuchattentionIfoundthestoryprettyeasytofigureout.The herohadamiserablefamilylife,andsowhentheopportunitycametosteponto thathumongousflyingsaucerandgooffwhoknowswhere,hewaswillingto go.Now,ifhehadhadahappyfamilylife,asatisfactoryfamilylife,hewouldnt havegone.Hewouldhavebeenhappytostayhome,andtheprospectofgoing offwiththeseweirdcreaturesfromouterspacewouldhavebeentoodaunting. Butthefactthathislifewassomiserablemadehimwillingtotaketheleap. Inthatcasetheleapwasprettystrange.And,fortunatelytheBuddhadoesnt askustobemiserablebeforeweleaptonibbana,buthedoesrecommendthat wedevelopasenseofdisenchantmentnibbidaandthatwedoitskillfully.He teachesustogetattachedtomoreandmorerefinedstatesofwellbeinginthe mind,andtobecomedisenchantedwitheverythingelse.Itslikeclimbinga ladder.Toclimbuptherungsoftheladder,youalreadyhavetobeholdingonto ahigherrungbeforeyoucanletgoofalowerone.Finallywhenyougettothe topoftheladder,whentheresnothinghighertoholdonto,nowhereelsetogo: Thatswhenyougetoffontotherooforwhereveryoureheaded.Thatswhen youcantotallyletgo.Inthemeantimeyouvegottoholdon.Thesameprinciple holdstrueinthepractice:Youletgooflowerattachmentsonlywhenyouvegot somethinghighertoholdonto. Sowhenyourepracticingconcentrationdontbeafraidofbeingattachedto it.Infact,youshouldgetattachedhere.Thatspartofthewholedynamicofthe practice.Allowyourselftobeattachedtothebreath,gettoplaywiththebreath, makethebreathareallycomfortable,goodplacetostay.Asthebreathgetsmore refined,youfindthatthemindgoesthroughmorerefinedstages.Thetwohelp eachotheralong.Thegreatertherefinementofthemind,themorerefinedthe breath,andviceversa,backandforth.Andyoufindthatyourconcentration doesgothroughclearlydiscernablelevels.Butagain,dontbeafraidofgetting attachedtothem.Thewholepointistowanttobethere,towanttodevelopthe masterythatallowsyoutobringthemindtothoselevelswheneveryouneed them,andtostaycenteredinthemaslongasyoulike.ThisiswhytheBuddha unlikealotofmodernteachersneverwarnedhisstudentsagainstgetting

165 attachedtojhana.Infact,hisinstructionswhenhesentthemofftomeditatewere alwaysveryclear:Godojhana.Andhewantedthemtomasterit. AjaanFuangoncesaidyouhavetobecrazyaboutthemeditationinorderto bereallygoodatit.Inthecourseoftheday,whateverspareminuteyoucanfind tokeepyourmindonthebreath,youwantyourmindtoheadthere,againand again.Itsalmostasifyouwereaddictedtoit.Theysaythatwhenalcoholicsgo intoahouse,oneofthefirstthingstheypickuponiswherethealcoholiskept. Theyreveryconsciousofthat.Theirmindsinclineinthatdirection,sothat withouteventhinkingtheycandetectthesigns.Well,youwanttobeabreatha holic.Wherevertheresbreath,youwantyourmindtoheadthere.Ofcourse, youfindthatitseverywhereifyourereallyinterested,ifyoureallywantto pursueit. Again,itdoesntmatterthatyoureattachedtoit.Therearewaysof ultimatelypryingyouloosefromthatattachment.Inthemeantimeitsagood placetobeattached:statesofconcentration,statesofwellbeinginthemindthat donthavetodependoncircumstancesoutside.Thatsalotbetterthanbeing attachedtothesights,sounds,smells,tastes,tactilesensations,andideaswere normallyattachedto.Soallowyourselftoclinghere. Itslikethecageswheretheyputbirds.Ifyouhappentoopenthedoorwhile thebirdisclingingtothedoor,thebirdcangetout.Thatswhatthesestatesof concentrationare:TheyredoorstotheDeathless.WhenwesaythattheBuddha hasyoucornered,hesgotyoucorneredrighthereatthedoor.Ifyouhangon here,youlleventuallybeabletoopenthelatchandyoullbefree.Butifyoure nothere,ifyoureoverhangingonthewalls,thenitsveryeasyfortheperson openingthecagetokeepyouin.Clingingtothewallsdoesntgetyoufree. Inotherwordsyoumightthinkthatyoudliketoputanendtoallyour suffering,butifyourenotreallyintherightplace,itsnotadoor.Youkeep bangingyourheadagainstthewallsofthecage.Butifyoulearntoholdonto thesestatesofconcentration,thetimewillcomewhentheyturnintodoors. Youlldevelopasenseofdispassionnotonlyforordinarypleasures,butalsofor thepeaceyougainfromstatesofconcentration.Youllbegintoseethatnomatter howgoodyouareattheconcentration,therewillalwaysbechange,inconstancy inthatconcentration.Andthetimewillcomewhenthemindissimplyfedup withthat.Itshadenough.Thatsnibbida,disenchantment.Yourenolonger enchantedwiththeconcentration.Youuseit,butitdoesnthavethesamepullit hadbefore.Youwantsomethingbetter.Thatswhenthemindcanreallyincline totheDeathless. AsItoldthepeopleinthatdiscussiongroup,thethirdnobletruthmaynot soundattractivenow,butasyougetintothefourthnobletruthanddevelop thesestatesofconcentration,yourealizethatthethirdnobletruthreallyisbetter. Itmaynotsoundbetterinwords,butwhenyouredisenchantedwiththefourth nobletruth,youseethatthethirdtruthistheonlydirectionwheretrue

166 happinesslies.Ultimatelythemindwillleanthere,willinclineitselfthere, becauseitsinapositiontoappreciateitforwhatitis. SoifyouwanttoknowwhattheBuddhawastalkingaboutandseeifitreally issomethingbetterthanwhatwereexperiencingnow,thisiswhatyouworkat: thesestagesofconcentration.Directthemindtothebreath,evaluatingthe breath,reallycomingtoappreciatewhatitistobesettleddown,reallycomingto appreciatethestateofstillness,andnotchasingafterthingsthatkeeprunning awayfromyouthroughyoursenses. Cometoappreciatethesenseofstillnessyoucangainwiththebreath.When youappreciatethis,youllbeinapositiontoappreciatethingsthatareeven bettersothatwhenyouinclinetosomethingbetter,youfindthatyoure actuallyrightatthedoorofthecage.Youcanfly.

167

Glossary
Ajaan(Thai):Teacher;mentor. Arahant:Apersonwhohasabandonedalltenofthefettersthatbindthemind tothecycleofrebirth,whoseheartisfreeofmentaldefilement,andisthus notdestinedforfuturerebirth.AnepithetfortheBuddhaandthehighest levelofhisNobleDisciples.Sanskritform:arhat. Bhava:Literally,becoming.Mentalorphysicalworlds,createdthrough cravingandclinging,inwhichrebirthcanhappeneithermentally,aswhen enteringamentalworldoradreamworld;orphysically,aswhenrebirth followsthedeathofthebody. Buddho(Buddha):Awake;enlightened. Dhamma:(1)Event;action.(2)Aphenomenoninandofitself.(3)Mental quality.(4)Doctrine,teaching.(5)Nibbana(althoughtherearepassagesinthe PaliCanondescribingnibbanaastheabandoningofalldhammas).Sanskrit form:dharma Jhana:Mentalabsorption.Astateofstrongconcentrationfocusedonasingle sensationormentalnotion.Sanskritform:dhyana. Kamma:Intentionalact.Sanskritform:karma. Khandha:Aggregate;heap;pile.Theaggregatesarethebasicbuildingblocksof describableexperience,aswellasthebuildingblocksfromwhichonessense ofselfisconstructed.Therearefiveinall:physicalform,feeling, perception,thoughtfabrications,andconsciousness.Sanskritform:skandha. Metta:Goodwill;kindness;benevolence;friendliness. Nibbana:Literally,theunbindingofthemindfrompassion,aversion,and delusion,andfromtheentireroundofdeathandrebirth.Asthistermalso denotestheextinguishingofafire,itcarriesconnotationsofstilling,cooling, andpeace.Sanskritform:nirvana. Pali:ThenameoftheearliestextantcanonoftheBuddhasteachingsand,by extension,ofthelanguageinwhichitwascomposed. Sangha:Ontheconventionallevel,thistermdenotesthecommunitiesof Buddhistmonksandnuns.Ontheideallevel,itdenotesthosefollowersof theBuddha,layorordained,whohaveattainedatleasttheirfirsttasteofthe Deathless. Sankhara:Fabrication;fashioning.Theforcesandfactorsthatfashionthings,the processoffashioning,andthefashionedthingsthatresult;allthings conditioned,compounded,orconcoctedbynature,whetheronthephysical orthementallevel.Insomecontextsthiswordisusedasablankettermfor allfivekhandhas.Asthefourthkhandha,itrefersspecificallytothefashioning orformingofurges,thoughts,etc.,withinthemind. Sankhata:Fabricated. Sutta:Discourse.Sanskritform:sutra.

168 Wat(Thai):Monastery.