Specific Teaching Points using the Picture Book, The Relatives Came by Cynthia Rylant

1. Sentence comes from my read-aloud so students are familiar with the text
2. Sentence needs to contain a grammar feature we have just learned about
3. Sentence needs to contain new features that we haven’t yet studied to increase our knowledge base
and help us become more inquisitive about our observations and to help us look at author’s writing
craft.

Name the specific technique by naming exactly what works well in writing and why and how to replicate it in
your own writing.

Writing Examples from Picture
Strategy Book Writing
Effective It was in the summer of
Leads the year when the
relatives came. They
came from Virginia.
They left when their
grapes were nearly
purple enough to pick,
but not quite.
Setting They left at four in the
Effective morning when it was still
Conclusions dark, before even the
birds were awake.
Effective And the relatives drove
Conclusions on, all day long and into
the night, and while they
traveled along they
looked at the strange
houses and different
mountains and they
thought about their dark
purple grapes waiting at
home in Virginia. But
they thought about us,
too. Missing them. And
they missed us.
Name the Craft: What is the author doing in this
picture book? Why am I teaching this
to this student? How will it help my
students as writers?
I notice that Rylant is “It was in the summer of the year when
writing a lead that the relatives came. They came from
includes the season in Virginia. They left when their grapes
the setting. were nearly purple enough to pick, but
not quite.” is an effective lead for where.
Rylant mentions a specific place and time
of year to help the reader understand the
setting. We know it is a farm since the
grapes are growing. These specific
details help to build the visual images the
readers need.
Tell the time of day The reader knows it is a long trip home
because of this very specific detail
describing the early morning start.
I notice that Rylant “And the relatives drove on, all day long
circles back to the and into the night, and while they
beginning of the story. traveled along they looked at the strange
houses and different mountains and they
thought about their dark purple grapes
waiting at home in Virginia. But they
thought about us, too. Missing them. And
they missed us.” is an effective
conclusion because Rylant has the
characters returning to their mountains of
grapes in Virginia, but still remembering
the relatives. It is a summarizing of the
book, we have to go to our own home,
but we will miss our relatives. Rylant
has written specific details to convey her
message.

Debra Renner Smith http://writingeverydayworks.wordpress.com Page 1

Thoughtshots “…they thought about Think about what the When Rylant writes, “…they thought
-Internal their dark purple grapes person actually thought about their dark purple grapes waiting at
monologues waiting at home in inside their head. Write home in Virginia. But they thought about
or dialogues, Virginia. But they about was going on us, too. Missing them. And they missed
thoughts, thought about us, too. inside relative’s mind. us.”
feelings Missing them. And they See if you can include This helps the reader understand what
-Flashback missed us.” at least two sentences another person is feeling and thinking.
- that show what the
Flashforward character was thinking.
Transition Finally, after a long time, Something I notice that Rylant uses transitions in a purposeful
Words the relatives loaded up Rylant is using way. Transitions help to make sure that
their ice chest and headed transitions words to your ideas stick together in coherent
back to Virginia at four show passage of time thought. Transitions are words that
in the morning. following with a bridge the gap between ideas by helping
comma. to make reading smooth. Rylant uses
And finally very few transition words like finally and
Then then. These words smoothly bridge one
sentence to the next for easy reading.
When you write, you can smoothly
bridge your sentences with transition
words too. Often after a transition word
it helps to show time and setting.
Usually after a transition word, a comma
is placed. The comma is important
following a transition word or phrase.
Strong Verbs hugged, crawled, Something I notice is that Rylant uses strong verbs in a purposeful
dreamed Rylant uses strong verbs. way on this page. Words like hugged,
Instead of simply telling crawled, dreamed are in the past tense
our writers to use strong and convey the strong actions the
verbs in their writing, we relatives felt.
want to instruct our
writers how and why to
use these verbs. Rylant Again, the author uses strong words,
paints a picture in the some in present and some in past tense,
readers’ mind of how the on this page. When authors use strong
bat and bird look with the verbs it allows them to eliminate the
verbs. adjectives and adverbs in a sentence,
therefore making their writing stronger.
Complete We fell asleep. A complete sentence is Somebody did something. Who did
sentence someone doing something? We. What did we do? We
something. fell asleep. The “we” pronoun in this
case refers to the relatives.

Debra Renner Smith http://writingeverydayworks.wordpress.com Page 2

Binoculars They had an old station One of the strengths I Rylant is zeroing in on the description
-Zoom in wagon that smelled like a notice in your writing that helps the reader know what the car
-Describe real car, and in it they put is that you zoom in on looked like or how long it took to eat
visual details an ice chest full of soda the visual details. supper.
-Describe pop and some boxes of
routines, crackers and bologna When a writer wants the reader to be able
habits sandwiches, and up they to picture something, describing how it
came – from Virginia. looks and how the character feels helps
the reader visualize. I can see all the
And finally after a big food piled on the table. I can picture the
supper two or three times relatives all squished around the house
around until we all got a trying to get enough food because of the
turn at the table, there details that Rylant included in her
was quiet talk and we writing.
were in twos and threes
through the house.
Snapshots The relatives weren’t Notice that the writer is Rylant is describing the crowded, too
-Photograph particular about beds, describing a crowded small house with lots of sentences.
a moment in which was good since house filled with
time there weren’t extras, so a relatives.
-Describe few squeezed in with us
sounds or and the rest slept on the
smells floor, some with their
-Narrate arms thrown over the
specific closest person, or some
action with an arm across one
person and a leg across
another. It was different,
going to sleep with all
that new breathing in the
house.
Long and And the relatives drove Notice that the author When writers have all the same sentence
short on, all day long and into uses a variety of lengths, then the writing is boring. When
sentences the night, and while they different lengths of the Rylant wants to emphasize
traveled along they sentences. something, she says it short and quick,
looked at the strange “Missing them.” It offers contrast and
houses and different makes the reader realize that the writer
mountains and they wants you to know this action or these
thought about their dark words.
purple grapes waiting at
home in Virginia. But
they thought about us,
too. Missing them. And
they missed us.

Debra Renner Smith http://writingeverydayworks.wordpress.com Page 3

Explode a Then it was hugging
Moment time. Talk about
-Slow the hugging! Those relatives
pace just passed us all around
-Create their car, pulling us
suspense against their wrinkled
Virginia clothes, crying
sometimes. They hugged
us for hours.
Then it was into the
house and so much
laughing and shining
faces and hugging in the
doorways. You’d have
to go through at least
four different hugs to get
from the kitchen to the
front room. Those
relatives!
Shrink A The relatives stayed for
Century weeks and weeks.
-Compress
Time to skip
unimportant
information
Plural rules They ate up all our
strawberries and melons,
then promised we could
eat up all their grapes and
peaches.
TEACHING We were so busy
hugging and eating and
Commas breathing together.
between
items in a They had an old station
series wagon that smelled like a
real car, and in it they put
an ice chest full of soda
pop and some boxes of
crackers and bologna
sandwiches, and up they
came – from Virginia.
Debra Renner Smith http://writingeverydayworks.wordpress.com
Something I notice is that Rylant did not say, “They hug,” instead
Rylant took one tiny idea she wrote a lot of sentences to describe
of giving a hug and the emotion. By the time the reader reads
slowed down the pace to all the sentences about the hugs, the
create emotion. reader knows how much love is between
all the relatives. When you are writing,
think about lots of sentences to describe
the emotion you are writing about.
One of the strengths I When Rylant wrote the sentence, “The
notice in your writing relatives stayed for weeks and weeks,” it
is that you effectively allowed Rylant to skip time. It allowed
skip time. the reader to know that the relatives had
spent the summer without using valuable
story pages building this concept.
When you have more Do you want to eat one strawberry or lots
than one, what is the of strawberries? Do you notice that when
plural spelling rule for I write the word strawberries, I drop y
–e or –es? and add i before I add es. Do you want to
eat one grape or lots of grapes? I prefer
to teach this type of lesson in a sorting
lesson with lots of examples of all these
types of spelling rules.
Use commas between Sente, n , c , and .
items in a series. e
This is Jeff Anderson’s graphic
organizer. It helps students to remember
commas in a series. Commas keep words
from running together. I put and before
the last word in my series. The commas
help my reader know to pause a little bit
when reading my list.
Rylant does not use commas in a series.
It is an interesting writer’s decision. It is
effective! It is consistent throughout the
book. There are numerous examples.
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Apostrophes You’d have to go through
in at least four different
contractions hugs to get from the
kitchen to the front room.
The relatives weren’t
particular about beds,
which was good since
there weren’t extras, so a
few squeezed in with us
and the rest slept on the
floor, some with their
arms thrown over the
closest person, or some
with an arm across one
person and a leg across
another.
Homophones Then it was hugging
time. Talk about
hugging! Those relatives
just passed us all around
their car, pulling us
against their wrinkled
Virginia clothes, crying
sometimes. They hugged
us for hours.
And finally after a big
supper two or three times
around until we all got a
turn at the table, there
was quiet talk and we
were in twos and threes
through the house.
Craft Jeff Anderson
Everyday Editing, page
29
Punctuation Jeff Anderson Everyday
Editing, page 29
Debra Renner Smith http://writingeverydayworks.wordpress.com
The author uses Today Rylant wrote you’d instead of you
apostrophes and would. The contraction shows the reader
supports the reader by that a letter was left out and two words
spelling the words in were put together. We use contractions
the following all the time when we speak. In this
sentences. section of writing, Rylant uses some
contractions and writes the words. Look
at weren’t. Weren’t is the contraction for
were not. When Rylant writes you’d, she
is including the apostrophe and leaving
out the letters w-o-u-l so we know you’d
is an apostrophe. As you read, notice
when Rylant includes contractions. It is
important to put an apostrophe in the
place of the letters we take out to build a
contraction.
Notice that the author As writers we think about meaning of
uses homophones words. Writers need to be careful to
correctly. choose the correct homophone or the
reader will be confused. It is easier to
know which homophone makes sense if
the writer has developed a list of
sentences that make sense for each
homophone.
Rylant writes in one place in her
book, “…their wrinkled Virginia
clothes… “ Rylant also writes in another
place in her book, “…we all got a turn at
the table, there was quiet talk and…” I
have to think about the correct
homophone. The reader considers
meaning of the word:
-Does it mean the contraction, they are?
-Is it there meaning “at or in that place”?
-Is it their meaning “belonging to them?”
These sentences give clues too:
Their house is huge.
I will put my books over there.
They’re going to the park.
What’s working with the text? What’s
effective? Where’s the good writing? The
craft? The effect? What else? What else?
What else? What else? What else?
What’s the punctuation doing? What effect
does the punctuation have on my reading
aloud? What changes if we remove it? Use
something else? What’s the writer
accomplishing with his or her choices? What
else? What else? What else? What else?
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