Anja Zoric Professor Dunlap HMD 302 October 8 & 10 Readings Harter chapter 2 focused on how different socializing

agents have an effect on our development of self as well as the different selves including the I-self and the me-self. One of the most important socializing agents we have while growing up is our parents, or guardians for those that do not live with their parents. I think this topic is interesting because not only are we influenced by our parents, but our parents are also influenced by us. This reciprocal relationship has a great impact on how interaction between the child and the parents will play out in both present and future years. This relates to the goodness of fit model that we have mentioned in class, because a relationship between parent and child depends on what and how much each contributes. Socializing agents can also have an impact on how we interact with others, as seen in some previous Blauner readings. Having an alcoholic father who was abusive might make his son follow his footsteps; causing him to potentially become aggressive and abuse his own family one day. On the other hand, it also might set an example for the son to resist such abuse and become a loving husband and father because he never had that in his childhood. The way socializing agents have an effect on developing individuals reminds me of Baumrinds parenting style theory that we talked about in class. It is important for parents as socializing agents to have a combination of authority and permissiveness for their childs optimal development. I have noticed from both the readings and real life experiences that because parents play such a prominent role in our socialization while we are developing, they are often the first people

we blame when something goes wrong. In the text Alienation, it is mentioned that conflicts between mother and son are often overcome with age. When they are not however, this may lead to the son feeling alienation from his mother, and therefore from himself as well. This idea makes me think of Harters concept of conditionality as well as Rogers unconditional positive regard. Sometimes parents think they are doing the best for their child because they have unconditional love for him or her and are incapable of seeing what they are doing from an objective point of view. The child on the other hand sees things from a different perspective, often noticing the faults rather than the positive aspects.