Paper 1 (Short Story)

by Natalie Ha

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740 3793

TIME SUBMITTED PAPER ID

14-SEP-2012 06:35AM 267296772

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PEERMARK REPORT

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Review 1
R1 R1 1. put your passage after the works cited page as a separate appendix!~

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2. Your essay primarily focuses on summarising the story. Maybe you can add leading questions or take an alternate route to explaining the significance of your assigned passage. Delete Delete:<br><br> 3. this is a little awkward<br><br>a story can't contact the audience<br><br>you should replace it with something like when the audience first read the story 4. audience is singular 5. a simple, wicked story. 6. *thought 7 . repression 8. just say detrimental 9. It'd be better if you explained the scenario with textual evidence, in my opinion. 10. get textual evidence 11. dependant 12. the 13. of 14. in text citations?

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15. presents 16. put more references to your passage and not the context of the events that take place 17 . exacerbates her condition 18. in text citations 19. dependant 20. lives