Forgiveness Exercise

This exercise should be done in a quiet place where you wont be disturbed and where you feel safe and relaxed. Have a pen and paper with you. 1. Make a list of anyone in your life past or present that you have not forgiven for something. 2. After your list is complete, look at the name of the first person on the list. 3. Their name alone should bring up the memory and negative emotions associate with them. 4. Using your imagination, take all of the feelings and memories that you experience and put them in a container outside of yourself. The container can be as large or small as you want it.

5. Now that all the thoughts and feelings are contained, examine them for a moment like a scientist or a very curious child.

6. Try to observe without judging anything. 7. After a minute or two, imagine yourself filling the container with cool water.

8. As you see the water pouring into the container and covering all those hurtful feelings and memories, say the following: [Name of person] I forgive you for [insert the wrong-doing]. Even though there is no justification for the harm you caused, I am willing to set you free and let my negative emotions go from inside me. In this way, we are both free to do better.

9. Repeat this with each person on your list. 10. Finish by thanking yourself for having the courage and self-love to be willing to forgive.

Forgiveness
Theres a lot of confusion about forgiveness. Some people are under the impression that when we forgive someone for a wrong-doing, we let them get away with it. Forgiveness doesnt mean you ignore the other persons responsibility. It doesnt justify the wrong. You can forgive someone without excusing their harmful act. True forgiveness has very little to do with the other person, it has to do with you the forgiver.Forgiveness is a way to let go of negative emotions, resentment, anger and even thoughts of revenge. Until you forgive, the act that hurt you in the first place will continue to be a part of your life. Forgiveness loosens the grip that the original pain has on you so that you can refocus on the positive aspects of your life. At its best, forgiveness will lead you to empathy, understanding and compassion for the person who harmed you. Forgiveness will bring you peace about a person or situation so that you go on with your life. According to Dr. Katherine Piderman of the Mayo Clinic, the price you pay for not forgiving can be very, very high. If youre unforgiving, you may pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life may become so wrapped up in the wrong that you cant enjoy the present. You may become depressed or anxious. You may feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that youre at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You may lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others. (source) Now think about these negative consequences in light of what youve learned about negative emotions and stress. Is it possible to hold a grudge and still be doing all you can for your health? Probably not.