MePLC - Your Life Is Your Business

MePLC: Your Life Is Your Business
Pascoe Sawyers
Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
First published in 2007 by Lulu Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007. Pascoe Sawyers asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. ISBN 978-1-4303-1115-7 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior permission of the copyright owner. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
Acknowledgements
Thanks to all the people in my life my Mum and Dad, other family members, friends, teachers, work colleagues, and even a few of my foes who have been like sunshine and rain in helping MePLC to grow. And especially to those of you who have contributed in a variety of ways to my thoughts on the development of this work too many names to mention, but you know who you are. Special thanks to Benjamin Wachenje for the front cover and his fantastic illustrations, which have helped bring the MePLC concept to life. And to my editor, Elizabeth Farquhar, for her advice, expert layout and page design, and, most importantly, for sculpting my words. The publication of this book would probably not have been possible without the ongoing guidance, encouragement and support that I have received from Seltzer Cole. Thanks for making me make it happen. MePLC is dedicated to Malcolm, Makeda and Munirah, the ever-ripening fruit of my most significant joint venture with my wife, business partner, and the love of my life, Hazel. Finally, I give thanks and praises to the Creator for all things at all times.
Foreword
Fast. Everything today happens so quickly. Whether it be high speed internet, instant access or tight deadlines, we all want everything yesterday it seems. Weeks roll into one with Monday morning coming around before you can blink. But how much time through this headlong rush, usually for other people, do we focus on ourselves and what we need? Not enough I think. As the first winner of the BBC TV show The Apprentice and subsequently working for Sir Alan Sugar for two years, I know all about running fast shall we say! I attribute my win and subsequent successes to a few choice mentors of which my Mother tops the list and being what I call sensibly selfish. I spent a lot of time working hard but now with that investment I can now focus on working smarter which means investing in my own personal development so I continue growing. This means that I focus a lot of my energy internally understanding what Im good at, accepting what Im not so good at, and setting realistic targets which I believe I can achieve. Success for me is not about where you come from, whether you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth or if you are nice to animals. Its about what you think is possible; its about what you believe. Going into the Apprentice competition people always asked me did I think I could win. I didnt know if I would but I did believe I could. That was enough to provide me with the focus I needed to overcome the obstacles I faced but it wouldnt have been possible if I wasnt FOCUSed. After meeting Pascoe through a very good friend and being introduced to his vision which is this book there was much within MePLC that resonated with my own life and led me to accept his humbling offer to write this foreword. MePLC provides some fundamental principles to help redress the balance between looking after other peoples business and minding your own. Please take time out to invest in your business you and then do what it really takes to be great: SHARE. God bless. Tim Campbell Founder, Bright Ideas Trust Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.

Introduction 3 The Power of FOCUS 13 F is for Fearless 21 O is for Optimistic 39 C is for Creative 61 U is for Unique 79 S is for Storyteller 101 Return on Investment 133 Resources 145 About the Author 153
When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world; As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, So I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change my country, But it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas, they would have none of it! And now I realise as I lie on my deathbed, If only I had changed myself first, then by example, I might have changed my family. From their aspirations and encouragement, I would have been able to better serve, And who knows, I might have even changed the world.
- Anonymous
Introduction
These days, it seems everyone wants to know more about being a better leader. They want to become better leaders in their businesses, or of communities, or organisations, or sports teams, or even of their own families. But most people, in the rush to become better leaders of things, fail to recognise one irrefutable fact: the journey to being an effective leader of others starts with developing the ability to effectively lead your own life. I say this from the perspective of having worked in the public sector for over 20 years, and having been involved in leading teams to deliver services for people and organisations. Most recently, as Director of the Leadership Academy for councillors in England and Wales, I have had the opportunity to develop my own understanding of how leadership works in theory and, more importantly, in practice. This book aims to promote the philosophy of putting personal leadership first, and identifies a set of personal characteristics that will need to be developed by anyone who wants to be a successful chief executive or chairman in the business of their own life, MePLC.
A Book of Principles
This is not a cold and calculated manual prescribing exactly what you need to do each step of the way in order to make your business MePLC the great success it has the potential to be. It will not provide you with the A-Z of effective goal-setting strategies, teach you all you need to know about managing your assets, or reveal the secret of 50 practical ways to maximise your income in a week! This is a book of key principles, not a how to guide. It recognises that each individual leader of MePLC has their own unique set of characteristics, skills, interests and, most important of all, objectives in life. This book is designed to help you use those unique attributes to build an framework of purpose and clarity that will help point you in the right direction and protect you from deviations to the back and sides. If you can get yourself in that position, then any movement will inevitably take you closer to your objectives. Almost every book on self-improvement quite rightly emphasises the value of setting achievable goals as the key to achieving your objectives in life. Goals are vitally important because, to use a football analogy, if you dont have any goals, then how can you score? But being able to identify and see the goal is one thing working out how you can move the ball around the field and through the opposition team so you can score is what really matters. Rather than concentrating on the setting of goals, which I believe is the relatively easy part, MePLC is about creating the Me-FOCUS youll need to break down and cut through any external opposition you face in trying to achieving your goals.
Introduction
My Inspiration
As well as being based on reflections from my personal experiences in life, the central ideas in this book stem from many other roots. These include my observations about the personal leadership qualities of friends and members of my family, a wide variety of politicians and leaders of organisations I have worked with, my academic studies of great political, sports and business leaders, and the work of a whole range of philosophers, psychologists and those who I describe as selfimprovement gurus, whose ideas have had a profound influence on my way of thinking about life and success. Perhaps the most significant of these is Brian Tracy who, in his work Million Dollar Habits, explains his ideas for running what he calls your own personal services corporation in which you are the president and sole employee with only one product to sell in the marketplace YOU. Based on my experience as an employee, a small-scale entrepreneur, a community leader, a sports coach, a husband, and a father of three, much of what he had to say really struck a chord with me. In particular, it helped me to finally make sense of two things that Ive always instinctively believed were self-evident truths about our existence in this world. The first is that we are all in the MePLC business, whether we know it or not. And the second is that the experiencing of positive emotions is the most valuable commodity known to man, and thats how I want to get paid for whatever work I do. This, above all else, is what has inspired me to write this book.
Whats MePLC?
Me, myself and I are the only people I have total control over, which is why, in the final analysis, my life is unashamedly all about me, me, me or in your case, you, you, you. Some of you will at this point be thinking (and some have been bold enough to tell me to my face) that the very notion of MePLC smacks of promoting a cult of selfishness. No, I need to make it absolutely clear that we cannot survive without the giving and taking of love and support to and from other people. But Im equally clear that the foundation of healthy relationships with others has to be built on the rock of a healthy Me.
Personal
The P for personal stands for the all-important Me, but also helps to emphasise the fact that you are working with a living individual. So your approach has to be based on an acceptance of personal responsibility as well as taking into account the sometimes intangible factors, such as your emotions and spirit, which are not always easily understood or mastered.
Leadership
The L for leadership pertains to the idea that you are dealing in continual transformation: moving from wherever you are at any point in time to where you want, or in some cases need or even have, to be. While to some extent it will help you to draw your own route map, this really is about the journey and not the destination because, as well as getting you there, effective leadership involves always thinking about where you need to go next. And the most critical part of that process is often about what you do now.
Introduction
Company
And finally the C for company, a word that is closely associated with the idea of commercial enterprise. While your objectives may not necessarily be commercial, it is important to see your personal business as an enterprise a bold project that will involve a series of challenges and risks, but one that you are nonetheless committed to undertaking, and one that if successfully achieved will provide you with an abundance of rewards to reap. MePLC is designed to help you understand a simple analogy that can be drawn between running a business and running your life. As it says on the cover, your life is your business. Thats the bottom line. But it is also something that most of us lose sight of as we get caught up in trying to win the various artificial rat races that appear to give context to our reason for being. MePLC is about focusing your energy on that bottom line and being clear about the principles, values, attitudes and approaches that will help to ensure you can develop and enrich the quality of your life. This is not a book about running a business. This is a book about taking a business-like approach to running your life.
The biggest mistake you can ever make is to ever think that you work for anyone else but yourself.
- Brian Tracy, author and motivational speaker
Changing Your Business Model

My career is stuck in a rut. My job bores me and I hate my boss, but the thought of having to start again somewhere else scares me. My life is like living on a treadmill. I never seem to have time to stop for long enough to do the things I really enjoy. Every day I dream of setting up and running my own business, and every day reality wakes me up with a reminder of all the reasons why I cant. Ive been walking around with a book in my head for ages, but just cant seem do whatever I need to do to get it down on paper. Anyway, whod publish me?
These are just a few of the secret thought bubbles that have silently floated out of my head at various times over the last few years. Any of them sound familiar? It never ceases to amaze me just how many people I come across who are unfulfilled in their lives for one reason or another, or sometimes for a whole range of reasons. For example, theres the very capable person who works hard and is committed to their job, but is deeply frustrated because they just cant seem to make the progress in their chosen career that they think they deserve. To add insult to injury, they see far less capable and committed people in the same field, and often working for the same organisation, moving onwards and upwards. I know exactly how they feel, for at various stages in my working life Ive been one of them. However, Ive come to realise that the real problem and reasons for much of my dissatisfaction were entirely to do with my approach to achieving what I wanted for Me, and that the solution to this lack of fulfilment was therefore 100% inside of Me.
Introduction
The real question is not, as a work colleague once asked, Why are there so many plonkers in this place who are doing so much better than I am? The question is this: Why dont we take the time to look in the obvious places when we start our search for answers? MePLC sets out what I found to be the answers once I stopped focusing on others and turned the spotlight on the aspects of life that I had most control over how I thought and what I did. The publication of this book is testament to the value of taking this very business-like approach to the leadership of my life. MePLC uses the concept of running a business as an analogy to create a context to help you understand the nature of this Me-FOCUS. So what do we mean by business? One dictionary definition of business is that it is a matter or affair that engages a persons time, care and attention; that which one does for a livelihood in other words, business is what you do to live. This basic definition tells us that all the things we do (working in our day job, being active in our local community, pursuing academic or sporting achievements, looking after children, caring for wives, husbands or partners) is all part of our own personal business. Basically, everything you do to manage the affairs of your life is part of your business. Being Me-FOCUSed is going to be hard work. But the good news is that youve chosen to read this book and use it to help and guide you along the way. This suggests that you are up for some hard work. No, it doesnt just suggest, it screams and shouts that you are up for the challenge involved in creating more clarity and purpose in your life and that you are ready to be focused on making MePLC a success.
Leaders arent born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And thats the price well have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi, American football coach
Happiness is someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

- Chinese proverb
Measuring Success
So how do you, as the founder of MePLC, measure the success of your enterprise? After all, in this business you wont get monthly statements from your bank telling you just how fat your positive emotions account is, and you wont have the opportunity for a bimonthly appraisal meeting with your boss, where he or she can pat you on the back and agree on your bonus for that half year. Unlike these conventional measures of success, determining whether or not youre successful in the way you live your life doesnt require validation from others, be they people or institutions. The only truly meaningful judge of your achievement is you. And in my view, the only criterion that really matters is that you should, in all honesty, feel good about who you are, what you do, and what you plan to do. As glib as it may sound, thats exactly how I assess my achievements in life on a daily basis. However, I do understand that we live in a world where being able to measure things, in a very specific sense, is often what gives them meaning. And, anyway, what would be the point of taking a Me-FOCUSed approach to life if at the end of the day you cant be clear about what its trying to achieve for you?
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Introduction
So lets drill down just a little deeper in thinking about how to measure success in life, and identify evidence of a return on your investment in MePLC. For this I will again turn to the sage thoughts of Brian Tracy, who highlights six factors which I believe are the hallmarks of a life that is filled with and fuelled by the experiencing of an abundance of positive emotions. Six Hallmarks of a Successful Life Peace of mind High levels of health and physical energy Loving relationships Financial freedom Worthy goals and ideals A feeling of personal fulfilment
Youre probably wondering What does all this mean in practice? If so, then please hold that thought for now. Ill say more about all of these factors in the concluding chapter, which is about getting a return on your investment. In the meantime, please read on. I hope you will enjoy my thoughts on the investment you need to make in yourself in order to become a true leader of MePLC.
Ive learned that making a living is not the same as making a life.
- Maya Angelou , author
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Focus on remedies, not faults.

- Jack Nicklaus, golfing champion
My success, part of it certainly, is that I have focused in on a few things.

- Bill Gates , founder of Microsoft
The Power of FOCUS

Whayne Savory, my best mate at school was, and still is, an amazing guy. Ive always admired him for many reasons, but when we were both 11 years old there was one thing about him that made me really envious. Practically every day after school we walked together to the bus stop where wed wait for the number 8 bus home. There were several buses that stopped at that particular bus stop, but as a bus approached Whayne was always able to tell if it was our bus or not sometimes when I couldnt even see that there was a bus coming. I was always fascinated by his ability to do this, and would sometimes joke to myself about how Whayne could see around corners. The true nature of his apparent superpower didnt become clear to me until at the age of 13, when I was taken to the opticians for what was my first eye test. This revealed that I was very short-sighted. Until then Id had no concept of the idea that different people had different levels of vision. No-one else in my immediate family wore glasses then, and even though I knew that some of the other children at school did, I never really understood why. When I put on a pair of glasses for the first time it felt to me as if someone had just polished the world. All of a sudden I could see things Id never seen before. All kinds of things in the distance became a lot clearer. And I still have a very vivid recollection of the first time I stood, bespectacled, at that bus stop with Whayne, thinking ah, at last I can see what you can see. This to me illustrates the power of focus. Just because you cant see it, doesnt mean it isnt there. But more to the point, it reminds me that being able to focus doesnt always come naturally. Sometimes you need help or guidance to point you in the right direction. Discovering a source of this help is almost always a life-changing experience.
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Focus on MePLC
The successful running of a business depends on the performance of the people at the top (or more specifically, people in leadership positions) and their ability to keep focused on company values and objectives. It is this focus that allows for the effective and efficient management of processes and allocation of resources needed to make the business work in an ever-changing environment. Without this focus, regardless of the quality of systems and personnel, the business will eventually fail. The same applies to MePLC. As chief executive of your very own Personal Leadership Company you need to be, more than anything else, focused on the values and principles that set the tone for how your business will work. So, are you ready to take over as the new CEO of MePLC? If so, I should tell you that in my experience one of the first things the new CEO always does is to carry out a restructuring of the company or organisation. Ive taken the trouble of preparing a chart of the new MePLC structure just for you. MePLC STRUCTURE CHART
Me
Fearless
Optimistic
Creative
Unique
Storyteller
This book will take you through these five key aspects of focus, explaining the rationale behind why they are important for Me.
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The Power of Focus
Be Fearless
Know and understand the five fatal fears that will make achieving your MePLC objectives impossible.
Be Optimistic
Know and understand the critical importance of having an optimistic outlook on life. The cultivation of an optimistic mind-set will provide a major asset for MePLC.
Be Creative
Be aware of the role creativity plays in lubricating and energising your MePLC machine. Its a potential we are all born with an unlimited problem-solving resource that we can draw on at any moment or in any situation, if only we know how to access it.
Be Unique
Understand the real meaning of self-esteem and self-awareness. Investment in this emotional intelligence will pay huge dividends when it comes to identifying the friends and foes of MePLC.
Be a Storyteller
Effective storytelling is a crucial leadership trait. What is your story? We all have one or many to tell, but they are not always based on our values, and we are not always in control of how they are told. Knowing, controlling, and being able to tell our own stories will ensure we can create the required emotional responses in others and help us visualise and strive for our MePLC goals.
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Things can go wrong from operational and environmental points of view, but if you examine corporate culture, you often find that its the tone at the top, the tone that an individual leader sets, that is most important in influencing the way an organisation works as a whole.
- Sir Michael Rake, chairman of BT (British Telecommunications)
Managing is helping to make happen what is supposed to happen anyway. Leadership is making happen what isnt going to happen anyway.
- Richard Pascale, author and corporate management advisor
Focus on Leadership
Becoming a successful leader of MePLC will put you in a position of unparalleled freedom and power. However, with this power also comes responsibility to be the best leader you can be. So what do we mean by leadership? The truth is there is no definitive answer to this question, because leadership means different things to different people and will look different according to the situation in which it is demonstrated. That said, Pascales quote above alludes to one of its more obvious and enduring characteristics. As the person in charge of MePLC, you need to understand this distinction and be clear about the fact that you are a leader and not just a manager. The role of an effective manager is essentially transactional: its about keeping things rolling over, maintaining existing standards, and ticking all the boxes, when they need to be ticked, in as efficient a way as possible. While theres nothing wrong with keeping things in your life in this maintenance mode, in practical terms for MePLC, this means surviving rather than striving getting by, rather than getting to where you want to be.
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The Power of Focus
As Pascale suggests, the role and responsibilities of a leader are a step beyond the transactional, theyre transformational. Effective leaders make desirable things happen for those they lead, things that would not have happened without their intervention, inspiration, and involvement. This transformational quality, it seems to me, is a hallmark that can be found somewhere in all credible models and definitions of leadership. There are probably as many models of leadership as there are definitions. At one extreme, theres the old-school command and control model, which is based around the idea of a single heroic leader at the head of whatever/whoever is being led, a leader who has all the power and makes all the important decisions. At the other extreme, there are ultra-modern constructs around ideas of distributed leadership, where leadership, and therefore responsibility (if not power), is seen as shared activity to the extent that followers are encouraged to contribute to decision-making processes and, when necessary, to lead beyond their authority. At different times and in different situations your leadership of MePLC will require you to exhibit behaviors from both ends of this spectrum, and everything in between. In short, you need to develop the capacity to be superhero or anti-hero, depending on what the situation demands. And this is where I believe taking a Me-FOCUSed approach can and will help you. In his foreword to The Spirit To Serve (the inspirational story of how the Marriot Hotel empire was built) Jim Collins, the bestselling author of business development classics Built To Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies (1994) and Good To Great: Why Some Companies Make the LeapAnd Others Dont (2001), highlights this point when he says:
Like all enduring companies, Marriots lasting success does not come from a single great idea, brilliant strategy, lucky break, or even a single great leader. Each of these advantages even if a company has them does not last forever. No, foundations of a great company lie in more fundamental attributes.
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MePLC provides you with an approach to leadership which is based on timeless core attributes and attitudes rather than simply developing a set of conventional competencies or skills. Dont get me wrong, conventional leadership competencies from the world of business or organisational development have their place. If you have vision, integrity, and analytical skills; if you can manage human, financial and technical resources; youre probably already using these skills and its probably in someone elses organisation. In other words, these leadership competencies are usually focused on developing a style of leadership that is designed to meet the needs of that external organisation. MePLC is different, because its your organisation. As the entrepreneur who has set the whole thing up, part of your responsibility, and a major factor in your eventual success, is to be unequivocally committed to leading it in a Me-FOCUSed way.
The sole reason for your company to exist is to meet your needs. The founders first obligation is to himself or herself. Part of what people dont get is that if that obligation isnt satisfied, none of the others [to customers, employees, and so on] can be satisfied, either. Not really, not over time. When your company doesnt fulfill your needs first, everything unravels. Either the business will just fall apart or youll wind up with this sick, co-dependent, very toxic environment. The company wont support your life on any level. And if its not life-supporting, why bother? There are so many other ways to make a living in this world.
- Lanny Goodman, business consultant
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The Power of Focus
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Fear is implanted in us as a preservative from evil; but its duty, like that of other passions, is not to overbear reason, but to assist it. It should not be suffered to tyrannise.
- Samuel Johnson, 18th-century English writer
Ignorance breeds fear; the more you learn about your subject, the less fear it holds for you.
- Brian Tracy
F is for Fearless
There are some very important F words to think about when in pursuit of success in life. Being flexible, forward-thinking, frugal in management of resources, and frank with yourself and with others are just a few examples. But without a doubt, the most significant F word is fearless. Fearless in your approach to being Me-FOCUSed. This is not the same as saying you should have no fear. Fear is a very natural human feeling and, in truth, can play a key role in inspiring and motivating us to achieve our goals. The fear we need to free ourselves from is that irrational fear which has been described as being false evidence appearing real. Understanding and being able to distinguish between these two very different feelings is crucial. Rational fear, in moderation, can be a huge asset to MePLC. Irrational fear can be its most debilitating liability. Rational fear can protect you from psychological and physical danger, and be a key source of motivation. The perfectly rational fear of being dependent on others can help motivate you to become more self-reliant. And a fear of being caught out can motivate you to be more organised, prepared, and generally dedicated to achieving your goals. But irrational fear, which can affect almost all of us at various stages in our lives, can paralyse. In this sense fear can be a messenger, but should never be the message. For this reason, Id say rational fear isnt even fear at all. So from here on in, when I talk about fear, Im talking about irrational fear.
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The Five Fatal Fears

The first step along the road to being truly Me-FOCUSed requires you to conquer all and any irrational fears you may have about the fact that you control your own destiny. Irrational fear is among the most powerful negative emotion we can ever experience. It is the voice that tells us all the reasons why there is no point in setting goals, let alone striving to achieve them. Specifically, Im talking about the five fatal fears that will make the management of MePLC more difficult and challenging than it needs to be: fear of criticism, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of success, and fear of flying.
Any fool can criticise, condemn, and complain and most fools do.
- Dale Carnegie, self-improvement and sales pioneer
Fear of Criticism
What are the key things you need to be fearless about? Well, right at the top of the list is criticism. Its in there at number one because it is among the most prevalent irrational fears, in its various forms, and because it can be the most damaging. The good news, however, is that it is also one of the easiest to deal with. Criticism from friends, family, colleagues, your boss, from people you like and people you dislike, or from people you dont even know is nothing to be afraid of. The mere fact that a person may choose to criticise you doesnt necessarily mean that they are right and you are wrong. All it means is that, for whatever reason (and the reason doesnt really matter), they have a different point of view on the situation.
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F is for Fearless
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
- Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking
Fear of criticism stops us taking chances, being creative and innovative, or just saying what we feel, because of a worry that someone, somewhere, will say something like how stupid is that? And its power is such that the criticism doesnt even have to occur for the fear to kick in. We only have to think it might, have experienced it before, or see it happen to someone else, and thats enough to stop those who fear it dead in their tracks. Before surrendering to this fear, ask yourself these questions: Is this meant to be destructive or constructive? If I feel its meant detrimentally, do I really care what the critic has to say anyway? Will I suffer any significant impact from whats being said? Will it result in me losing anything more than a little pride for a short time? And if thats all there is to lose, does it really matter what she or he has to say? One of the big ironies about fear of criticism is that constructive criticism is a fantastic tool for those who want to improve what they do or the way they are doing it. Far from fearing it, as an effective leader of MePLC you should encourage and value the challenge presented by constructive criticism. In a sense, all criticism is constructive if you choose to see it that way. In fact, as the leader of MePLC, youll always want feedback, even if it sounds like criticism.
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
- David Brinkley, news broadcaster
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Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.

- Henry Ford, entrepreneur and inventor
Fear of Failure
In at number two in our list of the most irrational and debilitating fears is the fear of failure. Fear of failure is very closely related to fear of criticism or rejection, but it also has its own very distinctly irrational qualities. We live in a society where being seen to fail at anything can make you the lowest of the low: a loser, inadequate, or plain just not good enough. No one wants to be a loser, but unlike the fear of criticism which can stop you from even trying, a fear of failure is more likely to prevent you from finishing things properly, pushing yourself to fulfil your full potential, or taking the credit you deserve for a job well done.
Young children are generally not afflicted with this fear. Watch any
children around you, and youll see that they cant wait to get out of whatever box you put them in. Life for a young child is all about pushing boundaries, trying new things, and seeing if they can do it better and better each time they have a go at it. So the first thing to remember about fear of failure is that its not a natural state, its learned behaviour which means it can be unlearned. Paradoxically, although we are socialised into the idea that failure is a bad thing, we only need look at successful figures in history to understand why axiomatic phrases like you learn from your mistakes and you cant win em all make so much sense.
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F is for Fearless
Let Me Tell You A Story . . .

I had to give a presentation once at a national conference on the art of political leadership. As part of my presentation, I planned to juggle three balls to illustrate my main point about the importance of keeping an eye on all of the balls if you want to get leadership right. Although Id been practicing for several weeks beforehand, when it came to doing it in front of 120 leading politicians, I could feel myself freezing up. But Id said I was going have a go at it, so I did. Four times. And each time the result was the same failure. As I stooped down to pick up one of my balls for the fourth time, resigned to defeat and mumbling some vague utterances about this is what happens when you get it wrong, the audience broke into what I thought was polite, sympathetic applause. As I walked back to my seat, gutted, the Chair for the event thanked me for my presentation and made a comment to the audience about how refreshing it was to see people who were prepared to show their vulnerability in public. That felt like the final insult to my injury. I was shaking with embarrassment inside, and more than a little concerned as to what this would do to my reputation. During the break, several people came up to me to congratulate me on my presentation. Still feeling rather sorry for myself, I started explaining that I really could do it and had in fact managed to juggle the balls 25 times in a row, just the night before. But to my surprise, the people I tried to explain this to were taken aback at my defensiveness. Oh, said one lady, we all assumed you could do it, and that you dropped the balls on purpose to very graphically make your point about the cost of getting leadership wrong. Very well executed, I thought. And there it was what Id seen as failure was seen by my audience as success. Its ironic that my fear of failing made my presentation even more successful, isnt it?
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Take Abraham Lincoln, for example. In his career, he dealt with two failed businesses, two failed courtships, and five failed attempts to be elected to public office. But he also became a successful self-taught lawyer, a happily married man, and the 16th president of the United States. Lincolns failures did not deter him, but in fact inspired him to be more persistent in pursuit of his goals, gaining him invaluable knowledge, skills, and experience along the way. In a sense, like many successful people before and after him, he had to become good at failing in order to succeed. Failure provides an opportunity to learn how and where you need to raise your game. From this point of view, far from being something to fear, it is something that anyone who is serious about succeeding needs to understand and embrace. MePLC will only work if you can be guided by the words of Irish playwright Samuel Beckett: Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. The fear of failure almost always has more impact on you than the failure itself. So, in addition to whats already been said about failure, some good cold analysis of what youve got to lose, particularly in relation to what you stand to gain, will always help whenever you feel anxiety about failing to achieve whatever you set out to do. And heres another thought to bear in mind: if your worry is that failure will make you feel like a loser, or inadequate, then try imagining how it feels to be someone who has a reputation for copping out.
I realised that if I was going to achieve anything in life I had to be aggressive. I had to get out there and go for it ... I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but its an illusion to me.
- Michael Jordan, American basketball star
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F is for Fearless
I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly.
- Oprah Winfrey, actress and businesswoman
Fear is Not an Option

As the CEO of MePLC you will be taking on a responsibility to conquer the five fatal fears, ASAP, and leave them slain at your feet once and for all. Having the ambition and commitment to doing this is a moral imperative if you are at all serious about being in charge of your life business. A willingness to do this is one of the fundamental attributes of all of the effective leaders I have ever met or read about. Furthermore, as the man or woman in charge, all of your followers (your true self being perhaps the most important of these), will look to you to take the lead on this mission and will make a judgement about your credentials as leader based on the outcome of your battle with fear. Fearless business people will always make the most money because, by definition, they have a winning mentality and will therefore invariably win most of the battles in the market place. Fearless leaders of MePLC will always create positive emotions for themselves, because they too have a winning mentality. Only for them, winning means being able to benefit from the experience of doing whatever needs to be done, when it needs to be done.
I have learned over the years that when ones mind is made up, this diminishes fear.
- Rosa Parks, civil rights heroine
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Most of us are about as eager to be changed as we are to be born, and go through our changes in a similar state of shock.
James Baldwin, novelist and playwright
Fear of Change
The third fear to eliminate from your MePLC psyche is fear of change. Fear of change is central to all five fatal fears and presents a major threat to the progress of MePLC because its the one, more than any other, which keeps us stuck in our perceived comfort zone. MePLC cannot possibly thrive in a in a static, unchanging environment, so understanding and overcoming any fear of change is essential. It is a natural human reaction to find change unsettling. Even young children are unnerved at the sight of a new baby sitter or nursery nurse. And we adults find the most mundane of changes, like having to take a new route to work or having to sit in a different seat to watch the TV, unsettling at first. This is partly to do with that fact that most of us are, by nature, creatures of habit, but the most significant factor is that we associate change with endings and endings with finality, or death. As a result, we can find change difficult even if we are clear in our minds that the change is desirable. The best way to combat fear of change is first to recognise that treating the change as a transitional process rather than a single-step action will usually transform the experience. In their article titled Leading Transition: A New Model for Change, leadership development experts William Bridges and Susan Mitchell Bridges argue that understanding this transitional process is key to successfully managing personal and organisational change: Transition is the state that change puts people into. The change is external (the different policy, practice, or structure that the leader is trying to bring about), while transition is internal (a psychological reorientation that people have to go through before the change can work).
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F is for Fearless
In the case of MePLC the leader and the people are one and the same its all about you but the principle is nonetheless relevant. This is especially important when we are talking about significant life changes, like moving from wherever you are now into MePLC leadership mode. Bridges and Mitchell argue that the transitional process consists of three distinct stages, all of which may need to be experienced in order to successfully complete the change.
Saying Goodbye
This is about letting go of the way that things used to be. Many people find this excruciatingly difficult because they have to let go of things or ways of living which may have proved successful (however limited) in the past. They may feel they are in danger of losing their sense of identity, or even of reality itself.
Shifting into Neutral

This is the neutral zone between letting go of the old and accepting the new. An uncomfortable place where no one wants to be for too long, it is also the place where real transition takes place. It is essential that we invest thought and time into getting the most out of our sojourn in this neutral space. Remember, your mind and spirit will be much better able to achieve the new goals and objectives you set for yourself, if they are given a chance to make sense of the change that needs to happen and how it fits into the bigger MePLC picture.
Moving Forward
This is the final transitional stage, the point at which any fear of change should have been conquered and you actually enter MePLC mode. But while it may seem obvious that its possible to fall at the first and second stages in the process, you need to be aware that it is also possible to trip up at this hurdle. It can be a daunting prospect, having to live and breathe as the new you. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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Glass ceiling syndrome is usually seen as something that happens in the world of work, but the mentality that gives it its potency usually starts fermenting in people long before they are old enough to begin working. Life is never fair to people like me, so whats the point in putting extra effort into trying to be more successful when I know it wont make any difference? This is a direct quote from a 13-year-old boy someone I thought was very bright and likable who was a member of the youth football team I coached a few years ago. I used to call him Super T because his first name begins with T and, though he was by no means the best footballer in our team, he had this knack of scoring what can only be described as supernatural goals for us when we least expected it. Id worked with him for three years, so I had a good sense of his potential, but given his profound fear of success, it was perhaps not surprising that he left the team before he was 14. Soon afterwards, he dropped out of school. I overheard him say this to another boy: No-one that I respect respects the school thing. Super T was about 18 the last time I ran into him, at a fun fair in a local park. He was aimlessly roaming around the park as part of a menacing group of hooded youngsters, and though he did vaguely acknowledge my attempt to say hello, his hardened look seemed to confirm my worst fears about where his lifes a bitch and then you die attitude, fuelled by gallons of peer pressure, would lead him. I hope Im wrong, but for me, bright and likeable as he was, Super T is a classic victim of fear of success.
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F is for Fearless
Fear of Success
Fear of success is the fourth and perhaps most insidious of the fatal fears. We can all understand why it makes sense to want to avoid failure or feelings of inadequacy. But being successful in whatever you do is something most people strive for, so why would anyone actually be fearful of achieving it? Well, give that question some thought and youll soon see its not as logic-defying as it may first appear. If fear of failure is based on worry about having to carry the burden that comes with being considered a loser, then fear of success is about the worry of carrying the baggage associated with being a winner. Then theres the glass-ceiling syndrome, which is particularly prevalent among people from visible minority communities (including those with disabilities), women and people from working class backgrounds. Negative experiences or knowledge of this syndrome can encourage people to believe theyll never be able to achieve the success they desire because discrimination and the powers that be just wont let it happen. Im not suggesting that glass ceilings dont exist (evidence from personal experience and employment statistics from just about any field I can think of proves they do) or that hitting one doesnt usually leave you with a pretty nasty bruise to your self-confidence. But the great thing about glass is that it can be broken, if you have the will and the skill to hit it in the right places. I believe fear of success is a major factor in the thinking and attitude of those who use the existence of this virtual ceiling as an excuse for their contentment with operating just below it, and especially for those who eventually give up the challenge of trying to break through it.
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Have no fear of perfection youll never reach it.

- Salvador Dali, Spanish surrealist painter
The Many Faces of Fear

One of the worst things about fear is the way that it seems to change depending on the circumstances, presenting a different face to scare you and a new challenge to be overcome. One of the bigger challenges is recognising fear of success in all of its disguises. Fear of success can manifest in many forms: as a feeling youve accomplished all your goals but youre still not satisfied or happy with life; a sense that even though youve achieved all your goals you still feel inadequate in comparison to some of your peers or colleagues; or a belief that if you achieve your goals you will no longer be motivated to pursue more success, or worse, that you will constantly be under pressure to achieve at even higher levels of success. But by far the most common is a fear in relation to how others, especially peers, friends and family, will see you if you are successful. A fear that along with acknowledgement of your success will come a sense that you are no longer one of them and that people will want to separate from you either because they dont feel worthy or because they begrudge what youve achieved. Its vital that you recognise that fear of success is always more to do with ingrained beliefs that you carry around with you, than with what anyone else actually thinks. Spurious, but surprisingly common ideas like its tough at the top, no-one likes a winner and people usually support the underdog are all good examples of thinking that breeds fear of success.
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F is for Fearless
Focus on Success
The key to overcoming fear of success lies in staying focused on the connection between attitude towards and achievement of the success you want for yourself. Only then will you be able to let go of the baggage that can hold you back, and start to see that striving for success in life is a major source of profit for your positive emotion account. Ways of doing this include regularly visualising what success looks like for you, and ensuring that loved ones, the aforementioned friends and family that really matter to you, are integral parts of your success vision. Working on the basis that most of your nearest and dearest would want nothing but the best for you (as you do for them), its also important to encourage these people to be open and honest with you if they see you slacking away from achievement of your goals or making excuses for not pursuing them. Rather than worrying about how they will feel when you get there, use them to help motivate you along the road to success. Finally, you are going to have to work damn hard to make a success of MePLC. Youre going to have to maintain high levels of commitment, determination and self-motivation like youve never done before. By the time you get there you will really deserve absolutely everything you will have achieved. And between now and then you wont have time to fear success because you will be so thoroughly focused on making it happen.
I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished ones business on earth ... I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright
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F is for Fearless
Fear of Flying
Your willingness and ability to fly is going to be a crucial part of getting MePLC off the ground metaphorically and spiritually, if not literally. In my experience, its the only way to rise above all the people and things that get in your way and block your view of whatever it is you want to achieve in this life. So the final fatal fear to be neutralised is fear of flying. Fear of flying in aeroplanes, helicopters and hot air balloons is one of the most common phobias known to mankind. If you dont suffer from this yourself youll almost certainly know someone who does. Like all of our fatal fears, this phobia is based on some highly irrational premises. Fear of flying is not only irrational, but as British comedian Bob Monkhouse once pointed out, its also a basic misnomer, because what people are actually concerned about is not flying, but crashing! Fear of crashing makes more sense, but whats the likelihood of an aeroplane crashing with you in it? Well, according to one statistic I recently came across your chances of being involved in an aircraft accident are something like 1 in 11 million. In other words, youve probably got more chance of winning the lottery! And youve certainly got more chance of being in a car accident, where the odds are about 1 in 5000. Yet overwhelmingly far fewer people have any kind of phobia about travelling in a motor vehicle. For some people, fear of flying is connected to a sense of being out of control because theyre not the ones in the pilots seat. While technically as a driver in a car you do control the car (barring any mechanical failures, of course), you still have no power over other peoples driving skills and choices, and a tree branch will not refuse to fall on the bonnet of your car just because youre behind the wheel.
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Both fear of crashing and fear of losing control can be related to the other fatal fears weve already discussed. Whats more evocative of failure, for example, than an aeroplane crash? Doesnt the successful arrival of your aeroplane at a far-away destination distance you from family and friends? And is anyone really, truly, comfortable with the fact that theyre in a completely alien environment, thirty thousand feet in the air? However, whats more significant is the way in which the metaphor of flying connects all of the other fatal fears together as the key to freeing yourself from the chains that hold you back and keep you forever grounded. In this context, flying whether in an aeroplane or as a bird is evocative of some very powerful ideas: the notion of taking off, the spirit of freedom, and the concept of the skys the limit. These are all seeds that will reap a rich harvest once planted in the mind of a MePLC entrepreneur. They will certainly help to make light of the potentially weighty burden of being fearful of criticism, failure, change, and/or success. Understanding of the power of this metaphor for reaching for and achieving your goals is also, by the way, a very effective antidote to feelings of being challenged by the effect of racism, sexism, or any other ism you care to name. That said, there is also great value for MePLC in being grounded. Grounded in a metaphorical sense, by being firm-footed, having an understanding of your roots, and dealing in reality. The point is, this should not prevent you from or make you fearful of flying in any sense. Think of the benefit to your MePLC business when youre free to fly as far as your imagination can take you!
When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned upward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return.
- Leonardo da Vinci, 15th-century artist, inventor, and mathematician
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F is for Fearless

Surrendering to your fear is a sure-fire way of surrendering your power to those who may wish to hurt you or prevent you from achieving your goals. What do I mean by that? Well, up to the age of about ten I had a chronic fear of dogs, no matter how small, fluffy, and docile they were. One day when I was walking down the road with my father, we met one of our neighbours on her way home after taking her pedigreed Yorkshire terrier out for a walk. I panicked and stepped off the pavement into the road to get out of their way and right into the path of an oncoming car. My father managed to grab my arm and pull me back onto the pavement just in time to prevent me from being run over. Concerned about my irrational behaviour and the risk to my safety it had caused, my dad gave me a stern talking-to about the nature of fear. He told me a story about his childhood in Jamaica, when it was not uncommon to see feral dogs roaming the streets. The essence of his lecture, and the bit that seemed to re-programme my thinking, was that dogs there would never dare approach a human, not even a child, simply because or so he said no one in Jamaica was afraid of dogs. Dogs have a very strong sense of smell, so strong that they can even smell fear. And once they get that scent into their nostrils theyll attack the person or animal that its coming from. But as long as they dont smell fear on you, theyll never be able to harm you. I never found out if Jamaicans are really unafraid of dogs, but his story changed my whole attitude, and cured my fear. Ive come to believe that you can apply the same rule to people. Those who are inclined to hurt you can usually smell the fact that you might be a willing victim, just like my dad explained that a dog can smell the fear in you. And once they get that scent they wont hesitate to use your own fear as a weapon to directly or indirectly wound you.
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Find the good. Its all around you. Find it, showcase it, and youll start believing in it. Life doesnt give you all the practice races you need. The battles that count arent the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us thats where its at.
- Jesse Owens. four-time Olympic gold medalist
O is for Optimistic
If the previous chapter was about eliminating the negative then this one is most definitely about accentuating the positive. Specifically, its about the power of optimism: the O word in your Me-FOCUSed approach to life. Before we get into this, its important to be clear from the outset that the kind of optimism needed for MePLC to succeed is not the oversimplified idea of the word promoted by Walt Disneys film version of Pollyanna. For those of you who arent old enough to remember, its the story of the orphaned Pollyanna who is sent to live with her harsh maiden aunt in a depressing middle-America town. Her cheerful disposition and infectious happiness exemplified by her glad game, in which she looks for the bright side of every situation soon rubs off on all manner of unhappy townspeople, including the sick, the lonely, and the downright obnoxious. In the film, optimism makes everything all right in the end, not just for the optimistic person but also for all the people they come into contact with. And to make this happen, all you have to do is concentrate on believing in and exuding an optimistic energy. In some respects, Pollyanna is right on the money with her attitude (positive emotions do tend to produce positive results!) but this portrayal of how optimism works tells us only a very small part of the story. It works really well in movies but, as they say, dont try it at home not if youre being serious about how you handle your MePLC business affairs.
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Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
- Helen Keller, author and activist
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
- Sir Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister (1940-1945 and 1951-1955)
What is Optimism?
So then, what do we mean by optimism? In very basic terms, an optimistic state of mind always expects the best possible outcome from any given circumstance or situation. But most importantly for MePLC, its about what you do as much as how you feel. In the extremely complex business of living our lives we are all faced with a relentless stream of choices to make, and what we choose is determined more than anything else by the possibilities upon which we focus our attention. In other words, optimists and pessimists will see the same thing but interpret it in very different ways. But this is more complicated than it might appear, as we need to go beyond the convential definitions of pessimism and optimism, especially in terms that relate to how we apply it to the leadership of MePLC. Take this classic clichd question: Is the glass half empty, or half full? It seems to me that just saying that an optimist would say it is half full and the pessimist that it is half empty doesnt tell us very much. Both answers are in fact correct. What makes the difference is which one you choose to focus on.
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O is for Optimistic
Acknowledging that one half of the glass does not contain any water doesnt mean that you dont see this as an opportunity to find ways to fill it. And recognizing that half of the glass does contain water could lead to a kind of bird in the hand complacency that will eventually stifle the prospects for growth of MePLC. Perhaps a more enlightening question would be this: What do you focus on when you feel your glass is half full or half empty? A pessimist might focus on the fact that they dont have as much water as theyd like. They might worry about the problem of filling it up, think about protecting what theyve got, or perhaps most worryingly, concentrate on the half full/half empty debate instead of on ways to solve the problem. An effective optimist will quickly move on from that debate and focus on finding ways to meet the challenges involved in filling it up. This is perhaps a very subtle distinction, but nonetheless an important one, because effective optimists are rational and objective-focused, just as much as they are positive.
Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!
- Oscar Wilde. Irish poet and novelist
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The Business Case for Optimism

Now that weve changed the way we look at optimism, lets take a look at why it is a crucial part of your Me-FOCUSed approach to life. Exhibit A in this case is the fact that many studies over time have confirmed that people who have an optimistic approach to life are more likely to have successful relationships, success in their work and business activities, and better health. In other words, success is determined by our habits of thought. Moreover, there is a growing body of evidence to suggest that a persons bent towards optimism or pessimism is based on learned behaviours and attitudes. Like leaders, optimists are therefore made and not born.
The basis of optimism does not lie in positive phrases or images of victory, but in the way you think about causes.
- Martin Seligman, psychologist and writer
Known as the father of the relatively new science of positive psychology, Dr. Martin Seligman is the author of several books on the subject of optimism, including the seminal Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. His work draws on over twenty-five years of clinical research and study of the characteristics of positive emotion, and is a major source of evidence which demonstrates how optimism enhances performance in almost every field imaginable, and even enhances quality of life. He introduced the concept of explanatory style to test the effects of optimism. Explanatory style is based on the idea that how we talk to ourselves about negative occurrences is the predominant determinant of the extent to which we lean toward optimism or pessimism. He describes the difference between the two thus:
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O is for Optimistic
The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault: Circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are unfazed by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder. Working with colleagues in the 1980s, Seligman developed a tool called the ASQ (Attributional Style Questionnaire) to assess levels of optimism. In a study of salespeople working for the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company, Seligman used ASQ to test the hypothesis that success for people in a challenging job was determined not only by their aptitude and motivation to do the job, but also by their levels of optimism. As part of the study, initiated in 1985, fifteen thousand applicants for posts at MetLife were asked to complete the ASQ test, as well as being assessed according to the career profile assessment the company had traditionally used to decide on new recruits for their sales force. One thousand sales people were hired based on the career profile alone, but due to a chronic shortage of people in the sales division they also hired one hundred people who scored just below the cut off point on the career profile, but who were in the top half of the ASQ assessment. After two years, the optimists among those appointed for their scores based on the career profile were outselling the pessimists by 31%. But the most significant finding was that those hired only on the basis of their high scores with the ASQ outsold the pessimists in the career profile group by 57%!
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Linking Success and Optimism

Studies by Seligman and his team in the political, higher education, and sports arenas showed similar links between success and optimism, and add credence to the explanatory style theory. For example, based on the statements made during campaigning they found that 27 out of 29 winning candidates in American presidential races were graded as more optimistic than their unsuccessful opponents. And their findings from a study in the mid-1980s that analysed explanatory statements made by national league basketball and baseball team players and managers about their performances, as reported in sports pages, enabled them to fairly accurately predict team performances in the future. This research found that teams that optimistically explained away their losses performed better under pressure and finished with better records in the season after the research was carried out than their performances during the research period would have suggested. In contrast, teams with players and managers who had pessimistic explanatory styles were more likely to under-perform. Another important piece of empirical evidence about the value of having an optimistic approach to running your MePLC business relates to health, arguably the most essential commodity needed for the achievement of success. Again, there are numerous studies that show that optimistic people are less likely to suffer from illness, and are better able to recover if they have been ill. The reasons given for this vary, though their conclusions are the same. Some studies propose that optimists, because of their explanatory style, are more likely to seek medical advice and stick to programmes for improving their health. Others put forward the idea that optimists are more likely to be motivated to take preventative measures.
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O is for Optimistic
A more fundamental explanation for the link between optimism and better health has to do with the fact that our minds and bodies are not, in effect, separate entities they are both part of the same Me system. So, from a biological point of view, when we are feeling pessimistic or depressed, our catecholamine (neurotransmitters or chemical messengers in the brain) become depleted. This results in increased activity among our endorphins, another group of very important neurotransmitters. It is now an established scientific fact that when the activity of endorphins is increased, the immune system turns itself down. There you have it a few examples of evidence from the world of research and science that help to explain why MePLC is more likely to be a happy, successful and healthy enterprise if you are an optimist. But theres more . . .
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body.
- Joseph Addison, 17th-century English politician
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To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher and author
New Age Thinking?

For me, the most powerful argument in favour of making sure that an optimistic outlook is a central part of your Me-FOCUSed approach to life is the universal law of attraction. If your only experience with the law of attraction so far is from Rhonda Byrnes book The Secret then this, Im sure, is the point at which the more skeptical among you will begin to question my sanity! I know this because when I recently told a good and very intelligent friend of mine that Id bought myself a copy, she immediately accused me of being away with the fairies, taken in by that ask and it shall be given claptrap. While I fully accept that my friend is entitled to her opinion, there is no doubt in my mind that there is an inextricable link between the creation of positive emotions and the power of positive thinking. Thats why I couldnt agree more with Esther Hicks, whose thoughts are featured prominently in The Secret, when she states: The more you come to understand the power of the Law of Attraction the more interest you will have in deliberately directing your thoughts for you get what you think about, whether you want it or not.
Our life is what our thoughts make it.

- Marcus Aurelius , Roman philosopher
So what is the law of attraction? Apart from being something which is currently often associated with new age, far out, mystical-type thinking, it quite simply says that like attracts like. Therefore, in the context of optimism versus pessimism, positive thoughts will attract a positive reality and negative thoughts a negative reality.
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O is for Optimistic
But hold on a minute, I hear you still thinking. Its one thing to recommend optimism as a good and wholesome approach to running MePLC, but quite another to suggest that the power of positive thought can actually alter your reality. Well, reader, if you need to make a leap of faith in order to accept this, then youd better get ready to jump for MePLC, because understanding and accepting this key principle will make all the difference to your business planning and execution. The law of attraction is a universal law rooted in the most basic ideas of quantum physics (oh, yes, it is!) that explains how everything in the world comes to be. Think of it as being a bit like gravity. You cant see it, touch it, or taste it, but whether you choose to believe in it or not, its always there and always in force trust me. For the more skeptical among you, the most relevant example of its existence is the fact that you are interested in ideas that might help you to improve your life, and guess what? You find yourself reading this book now.
Imagination disposes of everything; it creates beauty, justice, and happiness, which is everything in the world.
- Blaise Pascal , French author and philospher
The law of attraction is based on the principle that everything around us, including our physical being and our thoughts, are all made up of forms of energy. A basic law of physics is that, like a magnet, energy attracts like energy. Please feel free not to take my word for this, as there are plenty of sources from which you can check it out! Assuming this is all correct, then it follows that we are more likely to get more of what we think about most. If you can make sense of this, then youll realize what an incredibly powerful concept the law of attraction is. William James (1842-1910) was a Harvard medical school graduate and one of the original exponents of the benefits of positive mental attitude (PMA). He summed it up best when he said the greatest revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitude of their minds, could change the outer aspects of their lives. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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The Power of PMA

Napoleon Hill (1883-1970), the author of the books Think and Grow Rich and Laws of Success, is one of many who have been greatly influenced by James work on explaining the power of PMA. Hill, whose bestselling books were based largely on interviews he conducted with highly successful business people, found that the people he had studied had one thing in common they all had the PMA habit, or what he described as the I can, I will philosophy of life. Even if you dont accept the validity of the law of attraction, it is easy to see how PMA will bring practical benefits to your MePLC operation if it becomes a habit that you practice and learn to perfect. Having PMA will not mean that you never get things wrong, or have experiences where you fail to get the required result, but what it does do is nurture your ability to focus on the benefits of dealing with glitches and to find the seed of a solution in every problem that you are confronted with. In this sense it also helps to make your mind more alert and open to opportunities, your imagination and creative powers more active, make you more enthusiastic about the challenges of life and, in all likelihood, help to increase your willpower to succeed.
Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerly believe and enthusiastically act upon ... must inevitably come to pass.
- Paul Meyer, self-improvement author and speaker
At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
- Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher c. 4th century BC
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O is for Optimistic
Most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their souls resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into the habit of using and moving only his little finger. Great emergencies and crises show us how much greater our vital resources are than we had supposed.
- William James , 19th-century philosopher
And, if you think about it, what kind of person would you prefer to associate with? Someone who is pessimistic, cynical and suspicious of everything, or one who is optimistic, positive about things, and always looking for opportunities to create solutions and maximize benefit? Surely it would be the latter. The point is that people with this kind of optimistic approach to life will always attract the friendship and co-operation of others. No man is an island, and MePLC will not survive if you cannot persuade others to willingly help and support you. The practice of PMA is one of the main ways in which youll be able to ensure access to these important external resources, simply by becoming the sort of person other positive people want to associate with. Finally, PMA will help to bolster your optimism and, to some extent, inoculate you from despair on those occasions when you are faced with sadness, danger, or the threats posed by adversity.
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What Does it Mean for MePLC?

Having examined some of the evidence, lets now look in more detail at some of the traits of an optimistic Me. For this Ill draw on the work of two people who in my view have made some of the most significant contributions to our understanding of the behaviours of truly optimistic people, Max Moore and Alan Loy McGinnis. Max Moore, chairman of The Entropy Institute, an American educational think-tank, proposes the concept of what he calls dynamic optimism, which helps us to understand how we can move this notion of being optimistic on from something which makes sense in theory to something which has real practical meaning for MePLC. In explaining the concept of dynamic optimism Moore says: To understand Dynamic Optimism deeply and to apply it to expanding our lives, we need to become aware of its diverse aspectsthe personal characteristics of a dynamic optimist and the kinds of powerful thinking patterns such a person displays. The dynamic optimist both interprets experience positively, and influences outcomes positively. Merely believing that everything will work out fine without taking action makes one a foolish optimist, not a dynamic optimist. For optimism to give us the power to overcome the limits in our lives it needs to fully recognise reality, not hide from it. For optimism to maximise our abilities and happiness, we have to take responsibility for our thoughts, our attitudes, and our actions. This world is full of possibility. We can achieve almost anything we can conceive. Yet we will move forward only by turning dreams into practical, rational, responsible thinking. This kind of thinking will naturally generate productive activity.
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O is for Optimistic
The key point of note in the ideas presented by Moore is the fact that he makes a clear distinction between what could be described as passive optimism and active (dynamic) optimism. The optimism we are talking about is a verb and not an adjective. Regardless of how strong your PMA and explanatory style is, sitting back and expecting that everythings gonna be all right will not work for you in the real world (unless youre watching a Disney movie). For MePLC to succeed, being optimistic has to be about action and habitual behaviours, and not just a state of mind. Though the word doesnt exist (yet), optimisming is an obligatory business activity if you really want to keep that MePLC bank account topped up. In his book, The Power of Optimism (now sadly out of print), Alan Loy McGinnis illustrates the nature of an optimistic approach to life with this story: Shortly after the Vietnam War, a friend drove up to a gas station in Arizona during a violent rainstorm. The attendant came out, whistling happily as he filled the gasoline tank. As my friend paid for the gas, he apologised for bringing the attendant out in such a downpour. Thats all right, the attendant answered, his clothes dripping water into a puddle. When I was lying in a fox-hole in Vietnam, I vowed that if I got home alive, Id be so grateful I wouldnt complain about anything again, and I havent. Its a great story because it succinctly sums up spirit and attitude of a truly optimistic person who has a truly positive mental attitude. But McGinniss main contribution to our understanding of what it means to be optimistic is in his identification of 12 traits, or characteristics, of optimism. These 12 traits are based on his experiences while working as a counsellor, and on evidence he found in the biographies of a wide variety of what he describes as tough-minded optimists.
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The Optimists View of the World

The ability to take a tough-minded optimists approach to life is a blessing and a capital asset with the potential to add unlimited interest to your MePLC account. Fortunately, its the kind of blessing you can bestow upon yourself! To help you achieve this, heres the list of McGinnis 12 characteristics, and a MePLC interpretation of a true, dynamic, optimists view of the world. 1. Optimists are seldom surprised by trouble. They are realistic about the fact that there will be difficulties in life and they, like everyone else, are vulnerable to negative feelings and experiences. But rather than wallowing in the negativity of these situations, feelings, or experiences, they see themselves as problem-solvers who try always to be prepared for, and committed to, resolving difficulties as and when they arise. The challenge for an optimist is never the fact that there is a problem, as they see the occurrence of problems as inevitable. An optimist relishes the challenge of finding solutions to problems. They also recognise the fact that simply believing or being told that things will work out OK is never enough to ensure that this will happen. The belief, or the external pep talk, must be supported by action and rationale in order for it to make sense.
If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I dont embrace trouble; thats as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for youll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, 19th-century American writer
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2. Optimists look for partial solutions. They operate on the pennies make pounds principle of life. They value and are boosted by incremental progress, and recognise that the first step in trying to resolve a problem or achieving a goal is the most important one. In this sense they are more realists than perfectionists and are generally fearless of failure. They are always on the lookout for the opportunities that can come out of bad situations. 3. Optimists believe they have control over their future. They are well endowed with self-belief and are inherently self-confident. They passionately believe that they, and only they, will determine their destiny, and do not allow themselves to be distracted or put off by negative feedback from others. Indeed, they will very deliberately distance themselves from negative people and situations.
Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but dont hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people.
- Zig Ziglar, author and motivational speaker
4. Optimists allow time for regular renewal. They understand the ancient concept of Sabbath and view regular rest, relaxation, and the spending of quality time with those who are closest to them as essential fuel for productive activity. They also value intellectual and spiritual growth and will always create time and space to nurture these aspects of their lives. Based on the principle that its virtually impossible to stay depressed for long if there are young children in the room, they are energised by sharing conversations and positive experiences with children.
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5. Optimists interrupt their negative trains of thoughts. They do not make dramas out of crisis situations or focus on worstcase scenarios. Instead, they focus on slowing down and listening to their automatic thoughts, the inner dialogue we carry on with ourselves every waking hour. This practice is key to enabling them to identify negative, sub-conscious thought patterns, which often derive from a kind of programming initiated by people who have had a significant influence on their thinking (often parents or teachers) and act quickly to turn them around. This process also helps them to use Seligmans explanatory style to make sense of difficult or unfortunate situations, and to resist explanations that personalise blame if things dont work out as planned or hoped for. They are also inclined towards seeing events in the best possible light. 6. Optimists heighten their powers of appreciation. They place high value on the good things in their lives and always see these as being more relevant than things they are not happy with. Giving thanks for what they have or are given is more important than missing what they dont have. They see thank you as the most potent phrase in their vocabulary because of the positive effect it has on the person they say it to, and the role it plays in keeping them focused on the energising power of small acts of generosity. They do not avoid contact with suffering or the harsher realities of the world we live in as they see these experiences as a counter-balance to being able to truly understand and experience joy. For them the simplest things in life and nature are there to be savored, enjoyed, and appreciated in order to keep experiences of pain, sorrow, and other negative emotions and feelings in perspective.
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
- Maori Proverb
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O is for Optimistic
No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.
- Helen Keller
7. Optimists use their imaginations to rehearse success. They use the power of imagination to visualise success or desired outcomes when faced with challenging situations or when working to achieve their goals. They see positive visions, created in their minds today, as the potential realities of tomorrow, and imagination as the sustainer of their faith and belief that they can achieve total success. They strive to eliminate the practice of negative imagining or worrying, as the vast majority of things we worry about are never likely to happen, are about things that have already happened and therefore cannot be changed, or about criticism from others that can have no actual effect on the outcomes we are working towards. This trait, perhaps more than any other, is a core characteristic of those who are truly optimistic. 8. Optimists are cheerful even when they cant be happy. They work at keeping their spirit uplifted and regularly put into practice the as if principle: acting as if things were as they wanted them to be even when they are not. They recognise the value of making a good start to each day and each activity, as this often sets the tone for whatever follows, and they habitually employ the use of laughter therapy, with a special emphasis on never taking themselves too seriously. Other techniques they use to engender cheerfulness include finding and taking opportunities to celebrate, especially during difficult times, taking regular exercise (never underestimate the value of a brisk walk as a mood enhancer!), and using the magic of music to uplift, enthuse, and inspire.
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9. Optimists believe in an almost unlimited capacity for growth. They are gluttonous for the learning of new ideas and skills, and usually enjoy whatever they do for a living. Retirement, in any sense of the word, is not something they look forward to and, if or when it happens, they will more often than not view it as an opportunity to get involved with some new enterprise. While their physical bodies may grow old and some of their faculties diminish, the mind of a true optimist forever brims with a youthful exuberance and hope to be able to do just a little bit more. 10. Optimists build lots of love into their lives. They see the desire to love and be loved as an essential part of their existence the key to the successful living of life itself. Sharing love with a partner and family is vitally important, but is not by any means the only kind of love that counts in this regard. They fully appreciate the spiritual and therapeutic value of doing or giving for another person, with love, whether they be a friend, a colleague, a new acquaintance, or someone they dont know at all. They do their best to keep their important friendships in good repair and are quick to create new friendships if old friends drift and fade away, for whatever reason.
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.
- Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States
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11. Optimists like to swap good news. They understand the value of giving and receiving congratulations for successes and progress in life. They like to talk to people about their successes and take the time to analyse these to see what they can learn which will help them to emulate whatever has been achieved. They operate on the principle that articulation of thoughts, positive or negative, gives them a new and far more emotional potency the power to affect attitudes and moods of the speaker and the listener. While being realistic about the value of learning from mistakes and disappointment, they are equally keen to avoid persistent complainers, pessimists and people who use conversation to dwell on the negative aspects of life. When talking to people with this approach to life, rather than argue the opposite point of view, they will often mentally switch off in mid-conversation (the benign neglect technique) to negate the risk of being infected by pessimism, while they wait for an opportunity to shift the tone of the conversation. For the true optimist, positive conversation is possible in almost all situations, and that is what they will always choose to look for. 12. Optimists accept what cannot be changed. They are able to accept things, people and situations for what they are. They are flexible and able to adapt to new situations. They enjoy living in the moment; accepting change that they cannot control as one of lifes natural challenges and a welcome opportunity to learn new ways, rather than something to moan about. They also have the knack of knowing when to cut their losses and move on to new projects, ways of thinking, or approaches that will potentially be more fruitful for them.
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Optimistic Lessons
The business case for developing dynamic optimism in your life is unequivocal. While uncertainty remains one of the few things we are guaranteed to experience on a minute-by-minute basis, having an optimistic outlook is not just a helpful option for MePLC its the only option. Its a useful characteristic for anyone involved in running a business or developing a career and the must have trait for those who hope to be successful in the business of running their lives. Optimism is the mother that gives birth to positive attitude, which in turn spawns positive emotions. This personal quality, above all others, is the one that enables us to bridge the gap between the perceived reality of a situation and our aspirations. So regardless of your skills, abilities, and personal attributes, your inclination to being a dynamic optimist is likely to be the single most important success factor in life. Id love to see a world where teaching the principles of positive mental attitude (along with the other Me-FOCUS principles) had pride of place at the core of the curriculum in our schools. As well as nurturing an appetite for personal responsibility and social enterprise, I believe the simple act of educating our children about the power of optimism would go a long way towards building self-confidence and promoting a positive self-concept. This in turn would play a key role in addressing many of the endemic problems of modern western society which, in my view, have their root in a lack of understanding about the true potential of each and every individual. Unfortunately, I doubt that well see the subject of dynamic optimism on school timetables any time soon. However, the good news is that youre in charge of MePLC and you can heed this call to action and put it on your personal core curriculum with immediate effect.
Its your attitude, not just your aptitude that determines your ultimate altitude.
- Zig Ziglar
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Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.
- John Steinbeck, author
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through ones head.
- Mark Twain, 19th-century humorist
C is for Creative
When I first conceived the idea for this book one of several things that seemed obvious to me was that communication would be my C word. It was obvious not least because of my background in local government communications, or public relations in old money. Id spent years, both as a communications team manager and later as a consultant with a brief to improve the quality of communications in the sector, persuading politicians and senior officials of the value of actually talking to (and listening to) their key stakeholders. Not exactly a revolutionary idea you may think, but youd be surprised at how many took the message I was bringing to them as some kind of revelation, and even more surprised at how many didnt think it was an idea worth investing in at all. This perhaps explains why, typically, fewer than 30% of people in the Great British democracy bother to vote in local elections, and why not many more ever have a good word to say about their local councils, in spite of the excellent services many of them provide. But thats another story. Id also worked out that, on a more personal level, there was little point in having great ideas or sought-after skills or knowledge, if I wasnt able to communicate them to others. Indeed, one of my mantras in life, and something Ive drummed into my children, is that if you dont ask you dont get, and if you cant communicate, you cant ask. But then I had a eureka moment while on a management training course at the world-renowned Ashridge Business School. During a session where we were looking at strategy development in an organisational context, I realized that for MePLC there was a C word that was at least equally important as communication: creativity.
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The Power of Creativity

The main theme of my Ashridge training course was that while at surface level strategy was about where you are, where you want to be, and how you intend to get there, at a deeper, more significant level it was about the power of creativity, or ideas. In essence, for an individual or an organisation, both the process and achievement of strategic outcomes is driven by ideas. This realisation helped me make sense of a seemingly innocuous, almost throwaway comment made by the late Tony Wilson during a master class event I once organised for civic leaders in the north west of England. Wilson, the legendary pop impresario, founder of Factory Records, TV presenter and journalist, had recently set up a creative consultancy. I invited him to be the keynote speaker at this event in the hope that his colourful and provocative style would help these small-c conservative councillors to do a bit more out-of-the-box thinking. He certainly achieved that objective, but to my surprise, he also gave me a new perspective on the nature of effective leadership. When asked a question about how good municipal leaders should approach problem solving, he answered: Surround yourself with clever people; by which I mean innovative, creative and forward thinking people rather than just those who you could always rely on to get the job done. Successful leadership is about more than getting the job done or ticking the boxes. People in power tend to throw money and experienced doers at problems, when what they ought to be doing is throwing clever people at them. At the time I didnt quite get what he meant by this, but as time has gone by his comment about clever people has stuck with me. I now consider it to be one of the most insightful pieces of advice Ive ever been given.
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The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the United States
The ability to attract these innovative, creative, and forward-thinking people and make them want to share their ideas with you requires a high level of creative ability in itself. The value of being able to attract these people comes not just through the creative ideas they will inevitably bring, but also from the crucial role they play in providing honest and robust challenges to your own ideas. But, even more important than being able to attract clever people to work with you, the success of MePLC depends on your being able to be creative in thinking for yourself. Why? Because that internal creativity enables you to perform three key problem-solving functions, all of which are absolutely essential: self-expression, research and development, and effective decision-making. Creativity is the most precious of human resources, after life itself, because it is the main source of lubrication and energy needed to keep your MePLC machine moving. Without it, chances are youll eventually seize up, as youll continually be losing out in the positive emotions stakes to those who have more creative resources than you have.
Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.
- Albert Einstein, scientist and mathemetician
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Just as energy is the basis of life itself, and ideas the source of innovation, so is innovation the vital spark of all human change, improvement and progress.
- Theodore Levitt , Harvard economist
Creativity Gives Me Energy

So what is this great source of Me energy, and how does it work? Well, the first thing to say is that the unlimited potential to be creative is a gift that we are all born with. Unfortunately, we seem to lose most of this potential during childhood. By the time we get to our forties, for many of us, it has become practically non-existent. This is the result of a steady erosion and suppression of our creative potential caused mainly by parental, societal, and peer pressure to conform to the norm. But if we understand the nature of creativity, it is clear that with practice and encouragement we can protect and grow that potential, even as we grow older. My dictionarys definition of the word create is as follows: to bring into being or form out of nothing; to bring into being by force of imagination; to make, produce, or form; to design; to invest with a new form, office or character; to institute Here, creativity is simply defined as having the power or ability to create. This is a very clear summing up of a conventional understanding of the word, but what it doesnt tells us is anything about the process by which this ability to create happens. The creative process is an aspect of creativity that has received attention from a myriad of writers, research and practitioners, but like the definition of the word itself, there is an equally broad spectrum of views about what it is or how it works. That said, one thing which is common to many of the ideas put forward about this is that they be traced back to a model of the creative process developed by Graham Wallas in the early part of the 20th century.
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C is for Creative
The Creative Process

In his book The Art of Thought, published in 1926, Wallas describes four sequential stages of creative thought: preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification. In the preparation stage the problem or challenge at hand is defined, and information needed to help form the solution or response is gathered. The criteria by which the validity of a solution will be judged is also formed at this stage. As part of his research, Wallas noticed that many great ideas came only after time spent away from the problem, so described the incubation stage as the period when we stepped back from the problem to give our mind time to cogitate and work things through. He also noted that both the preparation and incubation stages could last for minutes, days, weeks, or even years. Next is the illumination stage where, according to Wallas, that mysterious aha! moment happens, when we experience an enormous rush of insight and the beginnings of a creative response. This tends to be the briefest of the four stages, lasting a few minutes or even seconds. In the fourth and final stage, verification, we begin our efforts and activities to demonstrate whether or not our new idea will actually solve the problem. As we all know from experience, great ideas dont always work out in practice, so following through on this final stage is vitally important to the successful conclusion of the creative process. This certainly makes sense to me; the process by which I arrived at deciding that creativity had to be my C word in this book, as described earlier, is a classic example.
You cant use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.
- Maya Angelou, American author
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A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.
- Anonymous
Creative Motivation
These clues about the nature of the process help our understanding of how it works and, therefore, make us better able to manage it and be more deliberate with our creative activity. But understanding the process is only part of the process, as it were. Closely linked to this is the notion of creative motivation. What is it that really sets those creative juices flowing? According to Teresa Amabile, head of the Entrepreneurial Management Unit at Harvard Business School, the most significant motivating factor is an interest and love for whatever it is we are trying to achieve. In 1996 Amabile conducted extensive research involving people working on creative projects. The aim of the study, she says, was to ... look at creativity in the wild. We wanted to crawl inside peoples heads and understand the features of their work environment as well as the experiences and thought processes that lead to creative breakthroughs. Her findings, which are contrary to much of the popular opinion that Ive come across, were that external factors (such as the promise of rewards or the threat of punishments) did far less to motivate people to be more creative than simply asking them to work in a field that they enjoyed and cared about.
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Put simply, the effectiveness of your creative powers will be greatly enhanced if you are trying to be creative in an area where you have the right skills, knowledge, and aptitudes to make sense of it all, and a keenness of interest to keep you enthused and inspired. The key message here is that its important to focus your MePLC business activity on things you know about, enjoy, and are interested in. Another way of looking at this is through the prism of the concept of flow that state of deep focus which occurs when people engage in challenging tasks that demand intense concentration and commitment. Athletes call it being in the zone when all they can see is their goal, and every fibre of their being is focused on getting there. To some, finding this stimulus for creativity may seem a million miles away from your sometimes routine, often prosaic, and occasionally truly mundane daily MePLC activity, but if you think about it youll see that it isnt, really. You dont have to be an artist to be creative. Engineers, scientists, lawyers, entrepreneurs and even the single mother who is able to regularly produce nutritious and delicious meals for her children on a tiny budget are all, at their best, incredibly creative people. In other words, the act of being creative can be applied to every field of life. To think about creativity as being purely an artistic skill can only obscure our understanding of what its really all about. Above all, dont be afraid to follow wherever your creativity leads you! Open yourself up to the possibilities that arise from devoting your energy to what inspires you, and youll be amazed at the results.
If it aint broke, dont fix it is the slogan for the complacent, the arrogant or the scared.
- Colin Powell
The trouble is, if you dont risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
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One of my most successful and productive MePLC sidelines is as a mobile disco DJ. Yes, a DJ, though I cant mix music, and Im not particularly good on the microphone. My ability to be creative as a DJ stems from a much deeper and far more meaningful source: my unconditional love and appreciation of music. I served my apprenticeship for this role without even knowing it, as a founding member of the Stereo Hi-Fi sound system. Being associated with, a sound system, no matter how small, was a kind of rite of passage for any self respecting young black male when I was a teenager growing up in early 1980s urban London. My job was to buy our music and select each record to be played according to the mood of the party crowd at various stages of the evening. We specialized in classical Jamaican reggae music, contemporary soul and funk, and a fairly obscure but oh-so-sweet form of black American music known as Rare Groove. So what has this to do with creativity? Quite a lot, actually, though I didnt recognise it at the time. Looking back on this period of my life it now seems obvious that my involvement with this very small-scale enterprise was a foundation for the development of MePLC, and in particular for my ability to be creative in the way I run it. At the time it felt like nothing more than a hobby, providing an opportunity to have some fun and interesting experiences. However, almost 30 years on, I can now see it was so much more than that. It was my first experience of running a business. We even held regular team and planning meetings, and had a small, self-appointed management team who never laid down the law, but somehow got everyone to agree on and go in the direction we thought was best for Stereo. At the time it didnt seem as organized or as clearly structured as it does in retrospect, but looking back, I realize I had helped to create a reasonably well run and successful business at the age of 14.
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C is for Creative
Learning to be Creative
Another good example of the common misconceptions that can limit our willingness to fully develop our creativity is the idea that it is a talent, or that creative people are born and therefore cannot be made. Dr. Edward de Bono, considered by many to be one of the leading authorities on the subject of creativity and inventor of the concept of lateral thinking, breaks it down like this: If a number of people run a race, someone will come in first and someone second and someone last. This is determined by natural running ability. Ability can be altered by coaching, training, and fitness regimens. If everyone who ran in this first race is now given a set of roller blades and is taught how to use them, then everyone will go farther in the same amount of time. Someone will still come first and someone last, but not necessarily the same person as before. It is the same with creativity. If we do nothing about it, then we can only depend on natural talent. But if we develop formal techniques and offer training in these techniques, then everyone will be much more creative than before. Some people will still be more creative than others, as with any acquired skill. Creativity is a habit that, once formed, can be developed and improved with practice. The key to improving your technique is based around a number of fairly basic principles, some of which weve already touched on. Here are my magnificent seven principles to bear in mind if you really want to be a more creative Me:
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1. Its a process. Never forget that creativity is much less about inspiration or perspiration than it is about process remember Wallas four stages. Recognising and understanding this process and how it usually works for you will help you to be more deliberate in your creative activity. For example, I know my creativity is working well when my ideas for dealing with a particular problem or issue begin to take shape in a way that makes the solution Im searching for seem both positive (as in win/win) and simple. I know its not working well when the answers Im coming up with are complex or complicated and risk creating losers. 2. Enjoyment, interest and aptitude. You are likely to be more creative if you are operating in an area you enjoy, are interested in, and have a good knowledge of. This doesnt mean that you cant be creative if these three factors arent in place. On the contrary, looking at an issue or problem with a totally fresh pair of eyes can sometimes lead to the most creative approaches to addressing it. However, if we are talking about the areas in which MePLC will focus the bulk of your creative energy, with a view to maximising positive emotional profit, then you are more likely to find these in the places where you have enough knowledge to be critically analytical and confident, and enough interest to ensure that you are motivated and comfortable in going through the creative process.
Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
- George Bernard Shaw
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C is for Creative
A man would do well to carry a pencil in his pocket, and write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable, and should be secured, because they seldom return.
- Sir Francis Bacon, 16th-century English philosopher
3. Anyone, anywhere, any time. Make sure you can attract and keep those clever people around you as they are a major source of challenge, new ideas and creativity. But be equally clear that they are not the only source good ideas can come from anyone, anywhere, at any time. Be open to the possibility that the solution to a problem thats been bugging you for ages could come out of the mouth of a five-year-old, a story line from a TV soap opera, or the lines from a song you just happened to hear on the radio while driving to work. Because creative ideas can come to you at any time and from anywhere, they are very much like the soap bubbles we buy for our children. If you dont have a method for capturing them as and when they arrive, then even the most creative leader of MePLC will be like a little child, enthusiastically blowing into the stick and watching, fascinated, as the bubbles float up in the air and one by one burst and disappear. For MePLC, not having an ideas note pad and pen with you at all times amounts to a criminal offence for which you will be punished though failure to achieve your full potential.
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4. Ideas breed ideas. The John Steinbeck quote at the beginning of this chapter is bang on the money, but the key phrase in what he says is that your ideas will only begin to really multiply once you learn how to handle them. As Earl Nightingale, another eminent thinker once put it: Coming up with ideas is like mining for diamonds in the worlds richest soil. Youll get mostly small ones, but if you stay with it you can get big ones, too. This notion of incremental creativity is crucial and links to the earlier point about the creative process. Learn to recognise, appreciate and nurture those small creative thoughts as these are the building blocks for the big-ticket ideas. Being patient is the only way to get into that creativity zone where you are able to focus all your mental energy on finding answers or new and different ways to do things. 5. Give to get. One of the great things about sharing ideas is that its like lighting a candle with another candle. Or, as it was once put to me, if I have an apple and give it to you, then you have an apple and I have none. But if I have an idea and give it to you, then we can both have that idea. In other words, it costs you nothing to share your ideas. But more than that, there is also a divine and universal law of reciprocity which, put crudely, says that if you scratch someone elses back then they are more likely to be willing to scratch yours when you have an itch. Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, uses the phrase emotional bank account to describe the principle of reciprocity, based on the trust that accumulates in a relationship between two people. In this context, ideas are among the most valuable currency you can deposit or withdraw, so be sure to share them generously and watch your interest your access to the creative ideas of others grow.
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6. Be your own customer. Whenever I think about the nature of big ideas, Im always reminded of a story I once heard about the late punk pioneer Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols. He was once asked in an interview if he ever thought of the man in the street when writing his songs. His typically irreverent answer was, No, because Ive met the man in the street and hes not a very bright person. Well, those werent exactly the words he used to describe the man in the street, but the single-word description he did use would be totally inappropriate for me to use in these pages. However, his point was well made and very valid. When you get that big idea, one that you really believe in, then the last thing you need to do is to market-test it. IKEA, Post-It notes, fax machines, satellite television, Sunday papers filled with volumes of supplements, and coffee shops like Coffee Republic and Starbucks were all things which would never had happened if the originators of these ideas had followed the conventional wisdom about what would work in the marketplace. While its important to consult with others about your ideas, highlevel creativity works best when it is driven and guided by the notion of you being your own customer. This is because its often very difficult for people to see the real value and benefit of something new or different. Ive certainly found this in trying to convince publishers that MePLC is going to be the next big thing in personal development concepts. I may be proved right or wrong, but as someone who loves to take in information about self-development and success principles, I really believe in this book and for me and my creativity, thats the bottom line. The key question I have asked myself throughout the writing of this book is: Would I read it? Im really pleased that you agree with my answer, but MePLC would probably never have happened, if I had waited for people to ask me to write it.
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7. Have strategic conversations. This is not so much about creativity per se, but more about ensuring that you can create an environment in which the widest possible range of creative ideas becomes available to you. Its a concept I first heard about from Chris Nichols, one of the tutors on that Ashridge Leadership programme, and it is based on the principle that good strategy development within organisations is more than anything else about the quality of the conversations that take place between the players involved. As Nichols explains: Analysis has a part to play, but it is through conversation that choices are communicated and implemented ... Good strategic conversation opens up options and possibilities, explores new learning and listens to dissident voices in reaching decisions. He and others have done a lot of work on demonstrating the value of this approach to strategy development and gone into great detail about the key skills needed to facilitate good strategic conversations a vital leadership technique. For MePLC, the main thing to bear in mind is that all conversations with family members, friends, colleagues, business associates, and even competitors are in effect strategic conversations with the potential to provide a multitude of creative thoughts, opportunities and solutions. To get the best out of these conversations you need to do two things. Firstly, always remember that a conversation for the sake of conversation is a waste of your time. Its always good to talk and to freely make your contributions in a conversation, but more importantly, every conversation you have provides an opportunity to learn something new or to see things from a different perspective. Always keep one ear open for what you can get out of it in terms of your creative thinking about whatever is being discussed.
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And secondly, always be aware of the conversational dynamics. By this I mean holding the following thoughts in mind: What is being said, and what is not being said? Whos talking and who is not? What baggage are people bringing to the conversation? What are the personality traits of those who are taking part? What are the power dynamics between participants? What does this mean in practice? Well, I can think of many instances in my working life where Ive sat in meetings and watched as vitally important strategic conversations are mismanaged to the detriment of the organisation. The classic example is where Ive seen a female member of staff make a comment only to have it totally ignored but when a male member of the group makes the same comment a few minutes later, hes told what a brilliant point hes made. My point is not about the nature of sexism in organisations per se, but really about power and its manifestation in strategic conversation. You, as the leader of MePLC, need to be acutely aware of these dynamics in order to encourage and harness the creativity of all those you have conversations with.
A question well asked is half the answer.

- Socrates, Greek philosopher c. 490 BC
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Creative DNA
To run MePLC effectively you have to be an entrepreneur and creativity is the stock-in-trade of any good entrepreneur. We all know that entrepreneurs make things happen by spotting and filling in the gaps between supply and demand. But theres another very important dimension to being a MePLC entrepreneur: the ability to intentionally spot and join the often very diffuse dots in your range of vision, making pictures of the way things could be. Rather than simply satisfying the wants that people around you think they have, you create a new model representing the fulfillment of the needs they arent aware of. I believe this is what Seth Godin, author of the groundbreaking Unleashing the Ideavirus, is saying when he wrote: Why does it matter that ideas can instantly cross international boundaries, change discussions about politics, crime and justice or even get us to buy something? Because the currency of our future is ideas, and the ideavirus mechanism is the way those ideas propagate. And the science and art of creating ideaviruses and using them for profit is new and powerful. You dont have to wait for an ideavirus to happen organically or accidentally. You can plan for it and optimise for it and make it happen. Heres a challenging question for the creative entrepreneur in you: Metaphorically speaking, could you reassemble your DNA into a pattern that leaves traces of your creativity on everything you come in contact with? Depending on where youre starting from in the MePLC setup process, that may well be whats required if youre serious about making this business work. And now that you understand the nature of creativity and how you can enhance it, Ive no doubt you will come up with the correct answer, which is of course: YES.
It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
- Edward De Bono, pioneer in lateral thinking techniques
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This above all: To thine own self be true, For it must follow as dost the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare, Hamlet
U is for Unique
No doubt all this talk of Me-FOCUS and self is already starting to make some of you cringe with discomfort. This is not a surprising reaction given that most of us, as a result our cultural and social conditioning, have come to believe that there is something inherently unhealthy about putting ourselves first. A quick perusal through any thesaurus helps explain why this might be. Just look at some of the word associations youll find:
self-consideration = selfishness self-assertion = insolence self-advertisement = boasting selfish = greedy self-will = obstinancy self-importance = pride self-love = vanity
Why shouldnt we consider ourselves, assert ourselves, love ourselves? Each of us is unique, in mind and heart as well as in fingerprints, and we should cherish that uniqueness and celebrate it to the world. Would you start a business relationship with someone you dont like or trust? Youre building the foundation of MePLC on your relationship with yourself; only when this relationship is rock-solid can you effectively bring others into the picture.
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Me-FOCUS vs. Selfishness

The broadly negative associations with the concept of self drive many of us to see it as our parental duty to literally coach the principle of Me-FOCUS out of our children from a very early age. Its likely that you experienced this as a child; consequently, you (like many others) probably tend to keep your own natural sense of the importance of self-love on the down-low, so other people wont see you as vain. In my view this is patent nonsense, because even the most altruistic person youll ever come across would have to accept that they cannot be truly altruistic if they dont first take care of themselves, and thus put themselves in a position to be able do altruistic things. So if Me-FOCUS is about putting yourself first, isnt this just a roundabout way of promoting a cult of selfishness? No, it isnt. What its about is encouraging a culture of self-responsibility and recognition that we all make choices in this life and the choices we make will, more than anything else, determine the outcomes we achieve.
Choosing to Love Ourselves

As leaders of MePLC the first choice we must make is to love ourselves, because in the final analysis we (mind, body and spirit) are all we have and everything we need to create the perfect life for ourselves lies within. The notion of focusing on love of self as a means to achieving our full potential quota of happiness in life is most eloquently described by German relationship counsellor Eva-Maria Zurhorst in her aptly titled book Love Yourself, and It Doesnt Matter Whom You Marry. In questioning the way in which many of us have been conditioned into believing that finding the right partner will make us whole and lead us to the true source of real happiness she says:
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It is within us like the seed of a sunflower that from the beginning already possesses all the information it needs for its future life as a grown plant. While growing, a sunflower seed would never ponder if it wouldnt be better to be an apple tree. It simply grows and becomes the best sunflower it can.
Moreover, if we are not prepared to love ourselves first then why should anyone else love, care, or give a damn about us?
Eliminating Self-Doubt
The second choice we must make is to eliminate self-doubt from our thinking whenever and wherever possible. Self-doubt is like a heatseeking missile, always on a mission to seek and destroy the warm and inspirational glow of self-confidence. And, ironically, self-doubt is often the mother of one of the most prevalent forms of selfishness youll ever come across. In my experience, truly selfish people tend to have high levels of selfdoubt and therefore find it difficult to take responsibility for their actions and the choices they make. As a result they are prone to, intentionally or unintentionally, spending much of their time being an unnecessary and weighty burden for other people who at various times will come into contact with their universe. Everything in your personal leadership company will build from a foundation of you making these fundamental choices about your approach to life. But there are two major stumbling blocks that make it difficult to hold to these choices: our own egos, and our inability to separate ourselves from other peoples problems.
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Helping Others, Helping Ourselves

Our cultural conditioning in this society includes the widely accepted view that there is something unsavoury about ever openly putting our own needs above the needs of others. We are socialised into seeing it as a black and white issue selfless good, selfish bad. But its not always quite as straightforward as that in the business of life, which is why we sometimes need to make tough choices about whats most important to us. As CEO of MePLC, your first concern is to keep your business healthy. Only a growing, thriving business will provide dividends for you and your shareholders your friends, family, and anyone else involved who will benefit from the smooth running of your Me-FOCUSed life. If you are stable, focused, healthy, and happy, you have the best and firmest foundation to stand on when you choose to lend a helping hand to others. I believe we should always help others if we can, and indeed think that the only way to successfully grow a good MePLC business is by creating a network of mutually helpful relationships with other people. But do also be aware, be very aware, that there may be people who share your universal space sometimes those you consider to be your nearest and dearest who may deliberately or unconciously drag you and your business down by trying to involve you in all of their problems. Dont be afraid to ask yourself this important question: Is my helping of that person impairing my ability to make the choices I need to make for my own needs, growth, and attraction to positive emotions? Its very difficult to say no to people who seem to need your help, but being able to step back from a situation and get a clear perspective on whether you truly would be helping that person, without harming yourself, will keep you from making decisions that have a negative impact on MePLC.
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U is for Unique

I was taught, by a combination of my parents, other family elders, teachers, and the Church, to be modest, meek and humble, and to think of others before myself. Ive taken the opposite approach with my children, encouraging them to be self-confident and self-assertive, and to always think about whats in their interests at least as much as they do about the interests of others. This came to a head once when my middle daughter (then 10 years old) was practicing the words she needed to say for her Brownie Promise. The law she was about to promise to keep stated that A Brownie Guide thinks of others before herself. This seemed to contradict some of the ideas Id tried to plant in her head a few weeks earlier about the primacy of self-love, self-respect and self-help. So, Dad, she quite reasonably asked, Which comes first, the needs of others or my needs? This provided a great opportunity for me to explain that while it was always good and right to think of the needs of others, always putting their needs above your own needs could ultimately lead to a lose-lose situation because you would not be able to help them if you were not able to help yourself. The analogy I used was the one about the aircraft safety drill. Were told that, in the event of an emergency, adults should put their own breathing apparatus on first before attempting to help their children, or those dependent on them, with theirs. Counterintuitive as this may sound, if in the event of an emergency your objective is to protect your child, then youll be in a much better position to do this if you make yourself safe first. My daughter certainly got the message. She later told me that shed always lend a hand if she could, like all good Brownies should, but that she kept her fingers crossed while making her promise because she knew it was a promise she wouldnt always want to keep. Thats my girl!
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It is natural to man to regard himself as the object of the creation, and to think of all things in relation to himself, and the degree in which they can serve and be useful to him.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 19th-century German scientist and poet
Beware of Ego
Defined in my dictionary as excessive self-esteem, ego is another of those words which is commonly accepted as having wholly negative connotations. But before we all get carried away with that idea its worth noting a few facts. We all have an ego; it is a very necessary part of the self because it performs the essential function of allowing us to distinguish ourselves from everyone else. If we are functioning as normal, healthy human beings (whatever that means) well be using the ego all of the time to evaluate people and situations, to help us make rational decisions, and to provide a boost our self-esteem when its needed. In short, the ego is a vital building block of self-esteem, which works best when we acknowledge its existence and allow it do its thing quietly in the background. However, there is a down side to ego. Allow it to get anywhere near the driving seat of your thinking and it will take over switching you to ego-autopilot before youve even noticed. When the ego takes control it almost always goes further than just distinguishing you from others it separates you from your real self, leaving you vulnerable to a reality shaped by superficial, and usually material, external factors. These might include the job title on your business card, the number of people in your network, the perceived quality of your CV, the firmness of your six-pack, the size of your salary or bank balance, or the model of the car in your driveway.
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One increasingly prevalent symptom and consequence of the ego problem to watch out for is the effect of the affluenza virus, as described by child psychologist Oliver James. In his must-read book Affluenza, James asks the question Why do so many more people want what they havent got and seek to be someone theyre not, despite being richer and freer from traditional restraints? In search of answers, he visits seven of the worlds most affluent countries New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Denmark, the USA, Russia and China interviewing a cross-section of their inhabitants to find out more about the impact consumerist aspirations have had in these societies. He finds that people increasingly perceive themselves and others as commodities, placing a disproportionately high value upon money, possessions, appearance (social and physical), fame and power. While doing this, those that are most seriously afflicted will invariably desist from cultivating the kind of spiritual nutrients we all need for sustained self-preservation, such as the need to form genuinely loving relationships with ourselves and other people in our personal universe. You, as the chief executive of MePLC, need to ask yourself on a regular basis (several times a day) whether youre making the right choices about loving yourself the real you, and not some facsimile version of what your ego has led you to believe youve become.
Teach us that wealth is not elegance, that profusion is not magnificence, that splendor is not beauty.
- Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield
So what else can you do to help keep that Me-FOCUS compass always pointing in the right direction that is, towards self-love and away from self-doubt? In my experience there are three specific aspects of the way you live your life that will consistently help you to make the right choices: affirmation, awareness of self, and authenticity.
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Affirmation
This is really about cultivating and building your self-esteem, which is at the root of both how you see yourself and the image of yourself that you project to others. Having a healthy self-esteem is not about being conceited or vain (as my thesaurus implied). And its certainly not about suggesting that you are better than anyone else. I would define selfesteem as being about how you value yourself as a unique and worthy human being, and this is measured in terms of your: security about your ability to be in control of your life (accepting that your life is your responsibility, and having the ability to respond in a way thats beneficial to you in any given situation) confidence about your competence and capacity to achieve your goals in life ability to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments
It is also about feeling comfortable in your relationships with other people, without feeling inferior to anyone else, especially your peers; being able to show your feelings and be assertive about your opinion; and being willing to forgive yourself and others. In short, its about enhancing your capacity for self-love and minimising your susceptibility for self-doubt. This is really powerful stuff and, with the best will in the world, its practically impossible to make it happen if you dont keep reminding yourself of who YOU are and what you are aiming to achieve. In my experience, regular affirmation of these things is the only way to do it.
The pious and just honoring of ourselves may be thought the radical moisture and fountain-head from whence every laudable and worthy enterprise issues forth.
- John Milton , 17th-century English poet
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Affirmations are meant to be said aloud theres something about both saying the words and hearing them that gives affirmations their power. No matter how silly you might feel, make sure you say them often, and make space and time to do it in front of a mirror. Its a good way to focus that positive energy on the right target, and gives you a chance to look yourself in the eye and remember how important it is to care for yourself. Go ahead, tell yourself how good you look! The cardinal sin when it comes to self-talk is to beat yourself up. Yes, its good to be honest in your evaluations of yourself, but also give yourself permission to get things wrong by focusing on how you can improve. This is especially significant in a society where many of us, in work, social, and even family situations, are more likely to receive negative rather than positive feedback about ourselves. While negative feedback can sometimes be helpful (the constructive criticism we talked about earlier), your self-esteem will almost certainly begin to suffer if you place yourself in situations where thats all you ever get. Please also bear this in mind in terms of the kind of feedback you give to your children, colleagues, and others around you. The only thing worse than putting the boot into yourself is doing it to others that you care about.
Self-esteem isnt everything; its just that theres nothing without it.
- Gloria Steinem, feminist and activist
There are piles of books that will tell you more about the very complex characteristics and effects of high and low self-esteem, but for me it is not a very complicated issue. When you strip away all the waffle that seems to surround this subject youll find that the key characteristic of self-esteem is that you, and no one else, are responsible for regulating it, and that having high self-esteem is essential to the well-being of your MePLC business. Regular affirmation of who you are and reality as you see it, particularly when you are feeling pangs of self-doubt or facing criticism, is the single most important thing you can do to build it. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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Awareness of Self
The philosophical concept of gnosis can be traced back to the roots of many civilizations and cultures from Ancient Egypt to Ancient Greece, in the Hebrew Kabbalah and early Christian texts and the teachings of the Buddha. It is encapsulated in the words written at the entrance to the Temple of the Oracle at Delphi: Man, know thyself. In all of these traditions, the common thread is the importance of self-knowledge, and particularly the knowledge of how that self is part of a larger whole. Whether you are an evangelist, an agnostic or an athiest, the notion of this kingdom of heaven lying within you serves as a useful metaphor. It reinforces the idea that you are the only one who has control over your life, and the only one who can reach inward to that kingdom and bring it into your external awareness the first step to making it an external reality. Awareness of self is very closely linked with high self-esteem. If you dont know yourself, then how will you know what to feel good about? And believe me, there are always things about yourself that should make you feel good remember those affirmations? But because this idea is also based on an awareness of the connection between yourself and the rest of creation, you can continue to be mindful of how your decisions and actions, though based in a healthy self-interest, affect those around you. Awareness of self is also the key to self-mastery: having the ability to better control the way you react in any given situation. Without it youll always struggle to flush out those negative and irrational beliefs and attitudes that lurk deep within the recesses of your mind, and will therefore find it impossible to stay fully focused on your mission in life. This will open you up to more negative attitudes and emotions, instead of the positive emotions that you will be striving to add to your MePLC emotional bank account.
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He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
- Gautama Buddha
We may not be God, but we are of God, even as a little drop of water is of the ocean.
- Mohandas Gandhi
The kingdom of heaven is within you; and whosoever shall know himself shall find it.
- Inscription on Egyptian temples
A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness.
- Albert Einstein
And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.
- Luke 17:20-21
Having a well-developed knowledge and awareness of self will both help you stay focused on that purpose and significantly increase your chances of achieving it.
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Authenticity
According to Wikipedia, authenticity is a psychological concept in which the individual derives gratification and positive emotions from excercising signature strengths. Its probably the most wholesome word in the English language. And its a basic building block for all of the ideas that make up MePLC. It evokes and is associated with a variety of desirable concepts and ideals such as honesty, originality, sincerity, integrity and the real deal. Yet for me, its very realness determines that its meaning in practice will always be both pardoxical and elusive. Paradoxical because, to my mind, authentic should always refer to the whole, which means taking into account the dynamic of complex dualities such as virtues/vices, values/vulnerabilities, and positives/negatives. Elusive, because to be truly authentic is to be truly unique. This is as it should be, but we in the Western world live in societies where being authentic is more about perception than reality, and where we are more likely to be rewarded (with money, status, and recognition) for our ability to conform than for expressing our individuality. All I really want to do here is urge you to see beyond all this so you can find and be that authentic you. Unfortunately, this is not as simple and straightforward as it may sound, and its certainly not the case that just raising the intensity of your MeFOCUS will help you to achieve this. On the contrary: my message is not that Me-FOCUS will help you to be more authentic, but that you cannot be truly Me-FOCUSed until you find and become your authentic self. Being our authentic selves is again something we do instinctively as children. Come on, you remember that boundless enthusiasm to do whatever popped into your head, or to get hugely excited or miserable over the slightest little thing, simply because just at that moment it pushed the right or wrong button for you. Right now Im seeing it every day of my life as I watch my young daughters grow.
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But sadly, Ive also seen how it can drain away out of many of the teenage boys I have worked with in football teams, as their sense of inhibition seems to grow with maturity. By the age of 14, many are beginning to do what most of us have done with our authentic selves, which is to hide significant bits of it away in our mental closet. Now Im not saying that, as we grow up, there are no aspects of our behaviour that wouldnt look and feel better if they were, most of the time, hidden away in this closet. The problem arises when we believe that the only way to succeed is to keep them in there, where we think they can do us no harm. Im talking about things like our expressions of anger, fear, and self-criticism which grow stronger the more they are denied the light of day. On the other hand, our sense of fun, adventure, love, and creativity, like potentially succulent grapes, will wither on the vine if they are denied their natural right to nourishment from the elements and the room to grow. If we open the door to our mental closet and let our authentic selves shine, well have an abundant harvest, more than enough to share.
I dont know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
- Bill Cosby, humorist and actor
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel), author and illustrator
You can never out-perform your own self-image.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, cosmetic surgeon
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Authenticity links directly to how we define our personal values.A good friend once told me that he had a personal value around earning as much money as he could. However, when I probed him on what he meant by this, it turned out that the desire to earn money wasnt a value, but more a means to an end. After talking it through he agreed that the personal value he associated with money was really about always putting himself in a position where he could provide security for his family. An obvious example for me is when I decided to cut short my secondment to a high-profile head of communications role and return to my old job. It meant a 15,000 pay cut and coping with the indignity of taking a very public step backwards in my career. At the time, it felt like a knee-jerk response to a difficult situation, and Id be lying if a part of me didnt feel like Id made the wrong decision. But looking back on that situation, I can see that it was not only the absolutely right decision, but also one that was clearly driven by one of my personal values: always put life first when it comes to the question of life/work balance. As Albert Einstein put it, Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted. The first step towards living an authentic life is discovering what we truly value. The second and most important step is aligning how we live to match what we value. Remaining true to your authentic self will help you define and stay focused on your personal values. Awareness of this authentic self will guide your decision making for MePLC. And regular affirmation of your values will strengthen your purpose.
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Stay True to Your Values

While having a good sense of your general likes and dislikes, skills and aptitudes, and strengths and limitations is an important part of selfknowledge, for the purposes of being an effective leader of MePLC, the aspects of self that you need to be most aware of are your personal values. These, I would say, are at the root of everything you are. Whether we are aware of them or not, we all walk around with a set of personal values that define who we are and play a major part in motivating us to do the things both positive and negative that we do on a daily basis. These values begin forming at a very early age and are almost fully developed by the time we enter adulthood. However, very few of us take the time to explicitly work out what they are. Fewer still are aware of the personal leadership power that can be gained by undertanding and acting in accordance with our values. Your personal values, pulled together, are the equivalent of an organisations mission statement or philosophy. They define the why and how of the way you go about the business of living your life. The big difference between an organisations values and your personal values is that you are guaranteed to eventually get found out if you try to fake it, whereas many of us know from experience that there are many organisations that somehow manage to get away with treating staff and customers in a way that totally contridicts their espoused values. However, instead of merely being one of the cogs in a large or small organisation, as the person responsible for MePLC youll have nowhere to hide when the chickens come home to roost.
You running and you running But you cant run away from yourself.
- Bob Marley
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I think we all have a little voice inside us that will guide us. It may be God, I dont know. But I think that if we shut out all the noise and clutter from our lives and listen to that voice, it will tell us the right thing to do.
- Christopher Reeve, actor
The aligning of your personal values with the way you live your life (including external factors such as the people you associate with, your line of work and the organisations you choose to work for) will provide a major source of moral and spiritual energy that can help to drive you towards personal success and well-being. Seeing this all-too-rare alignment in action also has the effect of energising and inspiring those around you, which is why awareness of your personal values is such a vital leadership trait. Moreover, failure to attend to the needs of your personal values system will inevitably result in frustration and unhappiness and, for MePLC, put you in the fast lane towards emotional bankruptcy. One of the most critical steps to achieving genuine awareness of self is identifying your personal values. Here are a few things you ought to consider when going through the process: 1. Get to the root of it. Come up with 5 to 10 words or concepts that encapsulate and evoke what you stand for: your ambitions, your beliefs, and your philosophical and practical approach to life. They dont all have to be things that you are prepared to lay down in the middle of the road over, and they dont all have to be defined in great detail, but you should take the time to drill beneath the surface of each one.
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The world is full of people that have stopped listening to themselves or have listened only to their neighbours to learn what they ought to do, how they ought to behave, and what the values are they should be living for.
- Joseph Campbell, author
2. Keep it simple. While its important to be consistent about your values, a wise leader of MePLC will also recognise that personal values will sometimes conflict with each other. In this case, you need to be very clear about which values are the most fundamental. A good example of this conflict is where you have identified that one of your personal values is keeping promises and a situation arises where you have to renege on something youve agreed to do for someone else. In my view, part of the real value of personal values is that they are (or should be) for the most part principles that are simple and pragmatic enough to leave you with room to make sense of their meaning in different ways depending on the situation or context. I regularly come across examples of this conflict in my work with polticians, who are often forced to make tough choices between political or personal values and situational realities. Reality usually wins out, but those who have a fundmental value about being the best leader possible for those who have elected them rarely feel as if they have sold out, regardless of the choice they make or the outcome of that choice. The problems, and the pain, seem to arise mostly when there is a lack of clarity about which values matter most, or when difficult decisions are made without regard to values at all.
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3. Keep it real. The words or concepts you come up with might represent ideas like equality and justice for all, self-reliance, liberalism, patriotism, or tradition. When you look at your list, ask yourself if these concepts really represent what you believe in and want to act in accordance with. Or is your belief born solely of peer, family, or even societal pressure? For example, how many of us would say we believe in, and hold as values, the principles of fairness and equality of opportunity? Yet if we had the power to recruit the people we had to work with, wed happily take on someone who we liked ahead of someone who was the best candidate. Ill leave you to think on that one. The point is that a personal value must be something that you freely choose to accept as your own and not something you subscribe to because you have been told it is the right thing to do.
Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of ones values.
- Ayn Rand, novelist and philosopher
4. Examine the evidence. Personal values are very deeply ingrained in your psyche, so youll tend to act in accordance with them without even thinking about it. Take a look back at examples of how youve demonstrated your commitment to what you consider to be your personal values in various aspects of your life. The most useful examples are in situations where youve had to make big decisions about things like relationships or career choices, or where youve had to stand your ground on an issue or principle. The best evidence will be found in situations where you had something to lose by taking a particular standpoint or course of action, but did it anyway.
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5. Put it to the mirror test. Ultimately youll know if you do something or make a decision that goes against your personal values because the very thought of it will leave you feeling uncomfortable with yourself. If in doubt, look yourself in the eye before making a big decision and youll soon find out what they really are. In an article on self-management for the Harvard Business Review, Peter Drucker tells the story of a highly thought of German ambassodor to London in the early 1900s. The ambassador seemed destined for high office in the German government until he abrubtly resigned after being asked to preside over a dinner party being organised for Edward VII. Why? Because he became aware of the kind of dinner the king, who was a notorious womaniser, was expecting. It was not the kind he was prepared to be part of. He is reported to have said, I refuse to see a pimp in the mirror in the morning when I shave. What a fantastic example of the mirror test as a way of knowing when not to cross the line drawn by your personal values.
Do You Know Your True Personality?

While personal values are largely shaped by our life experience, I firmly believe that personality preferences are something we are born with. Its a bit like being left- or right-handed. If push comes to shove, we can write with either hand, but using our natural one will almost always be less stressful and less exhausting, and invariably produces much better results. The same is true with personality preferences. Having to work against the grain for prolonged periods of time is much more likely to leave us wound up, knackered, and less productive, than if we do things in a way that suits the natural inclinations of our personality.
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As with your values, the trick to making good use of this incredibly valuable information, both in terms of understanding yourself and others, is in being able to identify what these preferences are. Equipping yourself with this knowledge will empower you to be better at building relationships, avoiding unecessary conflifts, managing stress, taking in information, and generally making MePLC as efficent and effective as possible. In short, it will greatly enhance your ability to make the right decision in any given situation. There are a wide range of instruments and tools out there that can help you to find out more about your psychological and personality preferences. Whats both interesting and compelling for me is that feedback from the three instruments Ive used at various times to help identify my preferences has been virtually the same. The thing that convinces me most about the validity of these assessments is the fact that, armed with this knowledge, I have made modifications to the way I work and relate to people, and there is no doubt in my mind that taking this action has changed, for the better, the quality of my relationships and experience in work, social and family settings. Though personality profiling and similar psychometric tools are usually used in a business or organisational context, their value for MePLC is much more wide-ranging than that. The information they can add to your self-awareness data bank is absolutely priceless. As Isabel Briggs Myers, co-creator of the Myers-Briggs personality test, pointed out: Whatever the circumstances in your life, the understanding of [personality] type can make your perceptions clearer, your judgements sounder and your life closer to your hearts desire. You may be changing many things in your life as you build MePLC and begin living a Me-FOCUSed life, but success will be built on staying true to yourself and your values.
Open your arms to change, but dont let go of your values.

- the Dalai Lama
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There have been great societies that did not use the wheel, but there have been no societies that did not tell stories.
- Ursula K. LeGuin, author
S is for Story
At a training programme many years ago, I met a man who described himself as a communicaphobe. After obviously struggling through the first days workshops (and after having a few too many drinks in the bar that evening) he told me that he was a real introvert and that he hated his job managing a sales team because it meant he had to spend most of his time communicating with people in one way or another. Being forced to attend this course was the last straw for him, and he had decided to resign as soon as he could find a new job that didnt involve having to talk to people. He described his main objective in life as getting to a perfect, peaceful state of being where he could totally opt out of having to communicate. I told him I was 100% certain that he would achieve his goal, and that seemed very comforting to him. What he didnt seem to understand was the rationale behind my apparently supportive comment. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was clearly very committed to finding his preferred state of being or anything clever like my awareness of the law of attraction havent we just been talking about the importance of making decisions based on your true desires? My comment was simply based on my knowledge of the fact that we will all eventually reach this non-communicative state when we die! The moral here for MePLC is that you cannot not communicate. Even when theres no-one else there, we are communicating with ourselves through the constant flow of our thoughts. And when we sleep, we continue to communicate with ourselves through dreams (and nightmares) about hopes and fears, possibilities and concerns. So being able to communicate well with ourselves and with others is for MePLC as important as breathing. And, as with breathing, its an involuntary activity, so opting out is well, not an option! What well focus on next is developing your ability to communicate so that you become an effective storyteller.
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Genuine Leadership Requires Communication

Evidence from history, from the worlds of business and politics, and from my personal experience, says that all genuine leaders are good communicators, full stop. After all, if they couldnt communicate, then how would their followers know where to go or how they were going to get there? The significance of this point is very clearly illustrated by a piece of qualitative research done by the pollster organisation Ipsos MORI in 2006. The aim of the research, carried out through in-depth interviews with the political leaders and chief executives of the UKs top-performing local authorities, was to identify the principal leadership characteristics or qualities exhibited by the key players in the sector. And surprise, surprise at the top of the list of these qualities was communication. As one of the successful local authority leaders quoted in the research paper, Lessons in Leadership, put it:
I think for me leadership comes through the ability to communicate and to have a vision and the ability to communicate the cunning plan. Almost every day, wherever you are, whoever you are speaking to, youve got to be using words that provoke an intellectual response. To get people to be creative and full of ideas and join you in journeys about what the future could be like. Its amazingly important and dont worry too much about joining all the dots in between.
In other words, the power of story is a mighty tool for effective leaders and can make the difference between just getting the penny to drop for your followers and helping to make sure they can catch each one as it falls.
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S is for Storyteller
This point is echoed and reinforced by writers Jonas Ridderstrale and Kjell Norstom, authors of that magnificently irreverent manifesto for successful business activity in the 21st century, Funky Business. For them, a true leader in an organisation needs to be more than just a CEO, they must also be the CSO, or chief story telling officer. This holds true for your MePLC organisation as well. Your ability to lead yourself and others will depend more than anything else upon the extent to which you can communicate in a language that those you wish to communicate with can relate to and understand. The language I speak of incorporates many things, including non-verbal communication such as body language, eye contact, dress sense and physical attitude, as well as your choice of words and the way you say them. But most of all its about the language of story the most effective form of communication known to man.
Why was Solomon recognised as the wisest man in the world? Because he knew more stories [proverbs] than anyone else. Scratch the surface in a typical boardroom and were all just cavemen with briefcases, hungry for a wise person to tell us stories.
- Alan Kay, vice president at Walt Disney from 1996-2001
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There are, then, these three means of effecting persuasion. The man who is to be in command of them must, it is clear, be able (1) to reason logically, (2) to understand human character and goodness in their various forms, and (3) to understand the emotions that is, to name them and describe them, to know their causes and the way in which they are excited.
- Aristotle, Greek philosopher c. 460 BC
The Story Factor

What kind of stories do we need to tell to create this communication, this connection with the other person? In her book The Story Factor, a fascinating collection of thoughts on the art and power of storytelling, American business consultant Annette Simmons identifies the six types of stories that will help you in the job of influencing others on behalf of MePLC: Who I Am Why I Am Here The Vision Teaching Values-in-Action I Know What You Are Thinking What I like about the way Simmons breaks this down is that there is no suggestion that any particular story fits neatly or exclusively into one or another category. Indeed, the same story, depending on how its told, will often work across several or even all of these categories. Which one you emphasise at any point depends on your audience.
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The best storytellers and those most able to use story and communication in general as a tool of influence begin by thinking about the needs of the listener. Ive heard it said that a good public speaker always remembers that they are speaking to people about a subject, not about a subject to people. Focus on your audience, and not your subject matter. Youll always gain more dividends for MePLC by being an authority on your audience than you will for being an authority on any given subject. Prepare for telling your story by first understanding who will be listening to it. Keep in mind the kinds of questions people will have in their head when deciding whether or not they want to do business with MePLC. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but its much harder to come up with the answers if you dont know what the questions are! The immense value of stories that help to illustrate MePLCs vision and values, and those that teach the listener about something they didnt already know, are fairly axiomatic. Perhaps less obvious is the idea that people are more likely to be engaged by your stories, and therefore more open to be influenced by you, if you can make them feel as if youve read their minds. These I know what youre thinking stories can be a hugely powerful influencing technique, especially when you are trying to engage with audiences or individuals that are suspicious, cynical, or focused on finding ways to discredit you. Mind reading, in this sense, is much easier to do than you might think. Its really just about doing your homework on whoever it is you are trying to influence, and identifying whatever it is they might object to about you or your message. Using storytelling to bring up and address their objection before they have a chance to do it themselves usually has a pacifying effect. However, of Simmons six types of story, the first two are the ones that I feel are most important, but paradoxically also the two which I believe are most often overlooked when we think about the most fundamental ingredients of effective storytelling. So lets just spend a few minutes looking at who I am and why I am here stories.
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Who Am I?
A golden rule for operating in the relationship-building business is to recognise that when youre addressing someone, the first question your listener will ask themselves about you especially once they realise youre trying to influence them is Who are you? Its a natural part of the process. Anyone opening themselves up to listening to what someone else has to say does this automatically within the first few seconds of engagement. The listener wants to suss you out. They want to know a number of things that will incline them to continue listing: Are you interesting? Will you make them laugh? Will you make them think? Will you hold their attention? Not only will they ask themselves these questions, consciously or subconsciously, at the beginning, but theyll keep doing it throughout the conversation. Its a challenge faced by every public speaker once they step up on to that platform, and every salesperson when they first speak to a potential customer. Opening up with a good who I am story is the most effective way of dealing with it. Telling a personal story allows you to shed light on an invisible aspect of yourself, which immediately allows the listener to see more than what you look like or what your job title, credentials, or reputation says about you. Its a technique regularly employed by the best speakers youll ever come across. So when you meet someone for the first time or hear someone making a speech or giving a presentation, and they start by slipping in seemingly superfluous information about their family, their dog, their granddad who fought in two world wars or their convoluted journey to work that morning, they are trying to make connections with you through personal who I am stories. Its all very subjective, but if you like or can relate to these stories about who the person is, then you are more likely to trust or be influenced by them.
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Other very effective who I am stories are those which are self-deprecating or reveal a personal flaw. As Simmons explains: One theory about why this works is that if I can trust you enough to show you my flaws, you can trust me enough to show me yours. The experience of vulnerability-without-exploitation helps us conclude that we can trust each other in other ways as well. For example, one of the best managers Ive ever worked for won my trust very early on in our working relationship by telling me about what she described as her control freakery problem. She explained she was telling me this because she was very aware of the negative effect this characteristic was having on her work and personal relationships, and actually asked for my help in dealing with the problem by being very firm with her if ever I felt she was micro-managing me. Given that I didnt know her very well at the time I was quite stunned, and a little suspicious, as I listened to her story. But over a period of time, working with her, I came to see exactly what she meant and developed a deep respect for her, which in my view all grew from that initial disclosure about herself. That particular who I am story told me just about all I needed to know about her level of self-awareness, honesty, and determination to be a better person. While personal stories are perhaps a fairly obvious way to give a listener some insight about who you are, good who I am stories dont have to be personal or about you, as such. They can be stories from religious scriptures, about current affairs, the retelling of a true story passed on by a friend, or just enlightening references or explanations of a phrase or concept. This is because your choice of story and the way you tell it can say just as much about who you are as a personal story can.
Anecdotes are sometimes the best vehicles of truth, and if striking and appropriate, are often more impressive and powerful than argument.
- Tryon Edwards, 19th-century theologian
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Why Am I Here?
Most of the people youll want to do MePLC business with will take time to tune into that metaphorical, but nonetheless ubiquitous, radio station WIIFM (Whats In It For Me?) before deciding whether or not to close the deal. Theyll also assume that youre doing it too, and will be just as interested in whats coming through your WIIFM channel as they will be about the quality and content of whats being transmitted through their own. People are more likely to want to cooperate if they feel they have a true sense of the signal you are sending and receiving, even if its not totally in tune with theirs. Good why I am here stories are designed to ensure that your listener gets a believable sense of what is being transmitted in both directions. Again, its all very natural. When someone any of my children, a sales person, a co-worker approaches me and wants me to take a particular course of action read them a bedtime story, buy a product, donate to a charity my first thought is usually well, whats in it for you? The answer to that question will, in many cases, be the most significant factor in my decision to accept or reject the proposition. And the answer Im looking for is one that says yeah, Ill get something out of this too, but Im not here to exploit or take advantage of you. This is the key thing about why I am here stories. People are generally more willing to engage in the business transaction if they feel that everythings up front, and there are no hidden agendas. And they are generally more likely to reject you if they feel you are trying to pull the wool over their eyes.
If anything in my conversation has merited your regard, I think it must be the openness and freedom with which I commonly express my sentiments. You are too wise a man not to know that such freedom is not without its use.
- Edmund Burke, 18th-century Irish politician and philosopher
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Once again, personal stories are very effective. For example, a salesman for a new diet plan might open his sales pitch to me by saying: Id recommend that you think about signing up for this diet plan because I think it could make a real difference to your life. I used to weigh 250 pounds, but I signed up to it and in three months I lost 30 pounds and massively improved my health and quality of life. And here are the before and after pictures to prove it. Yes, I know hes also recommending it to me because thats how he gets paid, but hearing his compelling why I am here story will surely make me think twice before rejecting him out of hand. The big mistake is to tell a personal story that doesnt ring true. The classic example that Ive come across is of a council chief executive who told a very eloquent why I am here story to a group of middle managers about his growing up in a multi-cultural community, and how this experience had convinced him of the importance of promoting equality of opportunity and ensuring that the organisation had a racially diverse workforce at all levels. He told this story as part of the preparation for an external inspection that would, among other things, involve middle managers being quizzed on the organisations approach to equality and diversity. The main problem for him was that in ten years as chief executive he had never had a person on his senior management team who was not white. This kind of thing happens in organisations all the time, usually resulting in a failure to get positive initiatives or change programmes off the ground because senior managers dont practice what they preach. MePLC should start from a position which assumes that people arent stupid, and recognise that your stories will be told as much by what you do as they will be by what you say.
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A story, in which native humour reigns, Is often useful, always entertains; A graver fact, enlisted on your side, May furnish illustration, well applied; But sedentary weavers of long tales Give me the fidgets, and my patience fails.
- William Cowper, 18th-century English poet
What is Your Story?

Simmons six types provide an invaluable framework for storytelling, but now I want to help you look a little closer at how you develop your storytelling technique and collect the content youll need. What is your story? And how do you get to tell it better? These are critically important questions for MePLC, because if you dont know your story or how to tell it, then in the eyes of your customers and shareholders, you dont exist as someone worth following or being influenced by. And, as Im sure youll agree, being a non-entity is not very good for business. The best and most powerful stories are the ones you author yourself, based on a combination of personal experience and values, original ideas, stories about other people, re-tellings of classic stories from history, and your knowledge of your audiences experience. These Me stories should be told with the clear intention of provoking an action or response from the listener. But as we all know, while some stories are memorable and inspire us to respond in the way the teller intends, the vast majority are only of vague curiosity, press all the wrong buttons for the listener, or worst of all, completely pass the listener by. This is why knowing your story and having the ability to tell it well are such important commodities if youre in the business of acquiring positive emotions.
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Lets look at some of the keys to being a good communicator, and techniques for developing your storytelling prowess, in more detail. For many of these thoughts I am indebted to the great Jim Rohn, a communicator and teacher of success principles par excellence, who shed light on all this for me during a speech he gave at a leadership conference in 2005.
Have Something Good to Say

The first point is to always have something good to say. By good I mean something your listener can take away as new, interesting, or insightful information. The key to being able to do this is to be a collector of this kind of information. These titbits of knowledge, wisdom, and common sense come from many and varied sources, the most valuable being from your own experience. But how many of us take the time to record significant pieces of information and knowledge that we gain through our daily experiences? Do you? Ive come to realise how quickly the important details of these experiences can be forgotten, or hidden away in your brain computer just when you need them. Id forgotten more than most people will ever know about working with politicians, before I started writing a short log of the days events after each training session I was involved in running. I now have a collection of over 200 pages of little vignettes and anecdotes that Im able to draw upon when preparing presentations about the nature of my work, or compelling arguments and business cases for taking a particular course of action. Good information based on your personal experience isnt always just about positive experiences. Some of the most powerful stories you can tell will be based on things that went wrong for you. If the aim is to shed light, then its important to remember that bad experiences can be just as enlightening as good ones, and personal anecdotes about why you failed (though not as flattering) can enhance the value of your message to the listener just as much as the ones about your great successes.
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Learn From Other People

Another very important source of good information is other peoples experiences. Its best if you can get this information first-hand. Make time to just talk to people, particularly people who are in similar lines of business and by that I mean the businesses of parenthood, and relationships, and hobbies, as well as professions. Find out how they succeeded, and what theyre doing now. Ask why they started, and why theyre continuing. Pay attention in particular to learning about the mistakes they made, and what they learned from those mistakes. This is an aspect of networking that I find is usually underplayed. Yes, networking is about making contact with useful people, and its about sharing resources. But for MePLC it is also very specifically a process through which you can build your storytelling capacity through learning first-hand about the reasons for success and failure from others. The comment made earlier about noting down key learning points is also vitally important after these conversations. Im not particularly brilliant at this myself, but I do know the value of adopting it as part of the way you go about doing business. I learned this from a cousin of mine. He lives in another part of the country, so we dont see each other very often, but we do have long conversations about once a month. Over a period of time, I noticed how good he was at quoting things Id said in the past back to me. During one of our conversations I commented on how much I admired his memory, and specifically his ability to recall things in such detail. Its nothing to do with memory, Pas, he confessed. I always have a pad by the phone and take notes whenever Im having what I think is a useful conversation. What a great way to ensure that you can retain good information!
Speakers who talk about what life has taught them never fail to keep the attention of their listeners.
- Dale Carnegie
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A wealth of good second-hand information about other peoples experiences is also available from books, newspapers, lectures and TV programmes. Imagine someone who has spent 20 years building up their MePLC business. Theyve made (and learned from) a whole variety of mistakes, come up with some great and innovative ideas for achieving their aims, been there, done that and now theyve written the book. Reading that book has got to be one of the most painless ways to glean invaluable information that can help you to be successful and provide useful content for your storytelling.
Cultivate a Childlike Curiousity

My daughters have a seemingly insatiable appetite for more information. Observing the way they seek and devour new knowledge has been a brilliant lesson for me. When she was six, my youngest daughter asked me, Why do we say eleven instead of onety one? What a naive, yet really intelligent question (for a six-year-old), I thought to myself. While grappling to come up with a suitably witty and logical answer I asked her why she wanted to know. No reason, I just wondered, she said sweetly. I never did come up with a sensible answer to her question, but it made me smile inside to hear her perfect answer to my question. Having this childlike desire for knowledge and understanding, and a fascination with anything and everything, will do wonders for your communication technique. For MePLC, regularly exercising your curiosity is as healthy as going for a jog every day. The more things you know, the more you can talk about, and the maxim if you dont ask for what you want, you probably wont get it applies as much to knowledge as it does to most other things in life. Like my father always told me, its good to know a lot about a few things, but even better to know a little about lots of things.
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If man is to survive, he will have learned to take a delight in the essential differences between men and between cultures. He will learn that difference in ideas and attitudes are a delight, part of lifes exciting variety, not something to fear.
- Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek
Study Your Audience

While youre on the quest to collect information, remember that the most important thing to know about is people and the factors that affect their lives. This knowledge, more than anything else, provides the raw material MePLC will need for speeches, presentations and small talk in formal or informal situations. Running your leadership business effectively will inevitably involve communicating with a whole range of people, and in many cases, getting them to work together. So get to know what makes them tick. Find out about things that interest young people and old people; people from different ethnic or religious backgrounds; gay people and straight people; willing people and lazy people; bright people and the intellectually challenged among your staff, customers and shareholders. Have I missed anyone out? Oh yes, if youre a man, be sure to get in touch with your feminine side and vice versa for women. Chances are that at least half of the people you need to communicate with will be of the opposite sex, and understanding (or at least attempting to understand) the differences in the way the other thinks about and approaches life will help solve many communication problems before they start.
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Find Your Style

The next key to effective storytelling and good communication is style. If your content is the cake, then your style really is the icing that will ensure that what you have to say will appeal to your listeners. Style, in this sense, incorporates a wide variety of aspects including humour, vocabulary, gestures, personality, and brevity. Fine-tuning these aspects of whatever you have to say can make a major contribution to your ability to sound sincere. Sincerity is the all-important, but somewhat intangible, aspect of communication which gives your words appeal and will make them matter to the listener.
Style in painting is the same as in writing a power over materials, whether words or colors, by which conceptions or sentiments are conveyed.
- Sir Joshua Reynolds, 18th-century English painter
Use Humor
One thing Id like to highlight is use of humour. Of course in some situations the use of humour will be inappropriate, but more often than not a skilful use of humour can help to maximise your impact. Humour is a great attention-grabber and can break down barriers and boundaries between people like nothing else. The most obvious example of this for me is again based on my experience with my children. Getting a crying child to stop by finding a way to make them laugh has got to be one of the oldest parenting tricks in the book. Good humour also has the power to succinctly convey complex ideas like nothing else. You could write a 500-page book explaining the difference between knowledge and wisdom, but it probably would never make the distinction between the two as clearly Peter Kay did when he said: The difference between knowledge and wisdom is knowing that tomatoes are fruits, but you dont put them in a fruit salad. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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Aggrandise Your Dickie Birds*

Your vocabulary and use of language is another important aspect of communication style. In particular, its about being able to pick and choose the words you use according to your audience. Essentially, the more words you know and understand, the more likely you are to be able to choose the most appropriate ones for any given opportunity. On some occasions, a well-chosen Latin phrase casually dropped into whatever you have to say will help you make that critical connection with the listener. On another occasion it might be a word from the world of sport, science, or classical mythology that will do the trick. I know this might sound a bit obvious to some of you, but the easiest and most sure-fire way to enlarge your vocabulary is to read as much as you can, and to always refer to a good dictionary for more information about any new word you come across. That said, there are some words that dont appear in the dictionary and its good to know about those too. Im thinking particularly here of colloquialisms, slang words, and words born out of new technology. For example, there is a time and place where the insertion of a smidgen of cockney rhyming slang will not only add a bit of humour to your talk, but more importantly will help endear you to your audience. They might not say this in traditional communication manuals, but I strongly believe that your ability to communicate well to a range of audiences will be enhanced if you have a good knowledge of these unclassified words, and though they might not be listed or defined in the Oxford English, Im almost willing to guarantee that youll find a reference to words of this nature in Google or the pages of any popular magazine.
Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.

- Rudyard Kipling
* aggrandise = grow, increase; dickie birds = words (Cockney rhyming slang)
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We are much more affected by the words which we hear, for though what you read in books may be more pointed, yet there is something in the voice, the look, the carriage, and even the gesture of the speaker, that makes a deeper impression upon the mind.
- Pliny the Younger, 1st-century Roman politician and philosopher
Be Aware of Body Talk

As well as having a large vocabulary of words, its equally important to have, and express yourself through, a vocabulary of gesture. If you believe as I do that actions speak louder than words, then youll immediately understand why its just as important to have a large vocabulary of gestures as it is to have a wide and varied vocabulary of words. Good communication almost always involves more than just the use of words, and effective non-verbal communication can make all the difference, whether you are telling your story to one person or one thousand people. Research by anthropologists and psychologists throughout the 20th century has shown that up to 94 percent of communication between people is non-verbal; therefore, body language and gestures you use to express your communication are vitally important. If you think about it for just a minute youll agree that this makes absolute sense. You know when someones saying youre boring me without them even opening their mouth (unless its to yawn!). And you know and can usually interpret the sign language for Sshhh! Be quiet. While understanding the use of body language is not rocket science, understanding the power it gives to effective communication and the expression of ideas is often underestimated something that MePLC cannot afford to do. Facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, posture, use of physical space, and dress sense are all part of the language of storytelling. Make it your business to be aware of how you use these to add spice, consistency, and sincerity to your communication with others. And, equally important, be sensitive as to how others use these nonverbal methods when they communicate with you. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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Develop Your Unique Personality

When it comes to communication, its inevitable that youll end up incorporating styles and techniques youve seen other people use into your own personal style. After all, as with most things, we initially learn our approach to communication from listening and watching our parents, siblings, and friends. As we grow older, we pick up new techniques based on how we see a variety of people who influence us, including peers, pop stars, and politicians get their messages across. In a process which is usually very subconscious, we take bits and pieces from the way people express themselves, particularly people we admire, to create our own unique communication style. I say the process is usually subconscious because very few of us actually sit there and think to ourselves: I just loved the way Mr. B broke down photosynthesis in Biology this morning. Tomorrow Ill take notes on his technique, so I can practice making some of his hand gestures and facial expressions, and use them the next time I have to explain a complicated concept to my mates in the playground. And yet, on reflection, thats exactly what I did! I still possess today communication mannerisms which are based on the style of a much-admired teacher I had when I was at school over a quarter of a century ago. No doubt about it, incorporating aspects of style and technique from others is a good thing, but whether you do it deliberately or not, please be aware of the big danger of taking too much: ending up with an unnatural style. By that I mean a communication style that doesnt really fit with your personality. To help make sense of this, just try imagining Gordon Brown communicating in the style of Billy Connolly, or Margaret Thatcher in the style of Jo Brand. The old saying about square pegs came to my mind when I tried it! No matter how good you may think another person is at communication, or how much you admire the techniques they use, always remember that your personality is ultimately the most significant ingredient of your communication style.
Style is only the frame to hold your thoughts. It is like the sash of a window; if heavy, it will obscure the light.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Failure to appreciate this will always put you at risk of coming across as insincere, and when it comes to communication, the mathematics says no sincerity usually equals no substance and no substance almost always equals no connection. So, rather than try to be something you are not, have a think about what style suits your personality and work on perfecting that. For me its mainly about being conversational and creating interaction with whoever Im communicating with. For you it might be more about being preachy, leading with humour or focusing on the facts and your experts knowledge. Whatever it is, you must make sure that the communication style you employ is aligned to who you are and that the approach and techniques you adopt are designed to embellish rather than suppress this.
Above all, in order to gain respect, you need to be true to yourself. There is no point in trying to be brutal if its not in your nature; there is no point in trying to be suave and sophisticated if it doesnt come naturally.
- Sir Alan Sugar, businessman
Keep It Brief
Keeping whatever you have to say as short and simple as reasonably possible is another important effective communication style factor. While its not true to say that a short story is better than a long one, it is true that most people are more likely to be engaged by a compact story than one that is filled with superfluous information. If you have the opportunity to prepare a speech or presentation, its always best to write it out, and then go over it cutting out all of the extra words: the clichs and other bits that dont actually add anything to your message. This is a very worthwhile exercise, because it also helps you to memorise and make more sense in your own mind of whatever you have to say, which should in turn help you to be more relaxed and confident once you get into speech mode. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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Make It Plain
Having thought about your story, and collected all of the knowledge and good information as the raw material you need to tell it, the next consideration is how you tell it. It doesnt matter how good, useful, or relevant your story is if, when the time comes to tell it, your listener(s) dont get the message. Every failure to do this represents the loss of a valuable opportunity for MePLC to do business The most common reason for these lost opportunities is a failure to say what you have to say well. There are masses of books, tapes, and training programmes out there to help you to develop your communication and storytelling techniques, but before even getting to that stage there are a few fundamentals that no book or training programme can really help you with as much as you can help yourself.
Be Willing to Change
Learning to communicate well is a never-ending process. There are always new ways of communicating, and new people to communicate with. Be open to new ideas, and remain adaptable.
Practice, Practice, Practice

Take every opportunity you can to hone your communication skills by talking to people. Remember, making a presentation doesnt always involve talking to large audiences, or handouts and a PowerPoint display. Every time you explain something to someone, or seek to persuade a work colleague, a friend, or a family member to take a particular course of action, you are in effect making a presentation. Whenever you have the opportunity to do this and if you pay attention, youll realize youre making presentations all the time think about the language, examples, and stories you use to illustrate your point.
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Focus on Getting Results

Understand that there is a very important difference between being able to communicate well and being able to communicate in a way that gets results. We all know people like who, for all their talent as communicators, never seem to achieve the results they desire. Remember that getting a result could be something that directly benefits MePLC, or it could be something which benefits your listener(s) which is almost always also of benefit to MePLC, whether directly or indirectly. A case in point is illustrated by an example given by Rohn. During one of his presentations, he included a personal anecdote about how he came to understand the critical importance of results, while learning to develop his technique as a salesman. He told a story about two great orators of antiquity: One was Demosthenes, who was a Greek. The other was Cicero, who was a Roman. And they were both great speakers. But it was said of Cicero: when he spoke, everyone said what a great speech. It was said of Demosthenes: when he spoke, everybody said lets march. And thats the difference between presentation and persuasion ... We call you a good persuader if now the results start to follow. If something starts to happen, if people decide. If they actually do something about your presentation, if they do something about your appeal, if something happens, then now we know you have truly become a persuader.
All the great speakers were bad speakers at first.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Listen and Learn

One of the most complimentary things anyone has ever said about me was when a junior work colleague once described me as a manager who listens more than he talks. I was particularly taken by this comment because of all the business skills I believe I need to be a successful MePLC, the one I have worked most on cultivating is that of being a good listener. This is not just because (quiet as it is sometimes kept) at least 50% of good communication is about listening, but more because of words of wisdom I recall being said to me about the value of listening when I was a child. My mother, for example, told me on more occasions than I care to remember, If you dont hear, you will feel. Her words resonated with me because they were usually followed by a sharp smack for whatever misdemeanour I had committed! And the example that sticks in my mind most of all is of an English teacher who once chided me, saying Not listening always puts you at risk of being like a driver who is driving the wrong way along a one way street it can be a very dangerous and costly activity. Avoiding the inevitable misunderstandings, conflicts, collisions and potentially ruinous expense that will inevitably result from not listening is just one of the reasons why youll find the most successful business people, and leaders from all walks of life invest heavily in encouraging, listening to and analysing feedback from all their stakeholders, especially customers and staff. More generally, being a good listener will help to ensure that you know whats going on around you in your family, or organisation, or circle of friends. At times this knowledge can be crucial when it comes to making decisions about whats in the best interests of MePLC. But even if knowing doesnt result in your taking any particular course of action, you should never underestimate the power of being in the know.
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Being a good listener is critical for MePLC, not just because of the terrible consequences it might help you to steer clear of, but perhaps more significantly because of the benefits it will inevitably bring to the business of running your personal leadership company. These include enhancing your ability to build rapport and trust between yourself and the range of people you have to work with; making you more open to creative and productive solutions to problems and challenges; and minimising the possibilities that youll make mistakes due to miscommunication, and therefore increasing your chances of getting things right the first time in most situations.
Not to know is bad. Not to wish to know is worse.

- Wolof (West African) proverb
Listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once.

- Kurdish proverb
To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well and is as essential to all true conversation.
- Chinese proverb
Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout.
- Irish proverb
Having two ears and one tongue, we should listen twice as much as we speak.
- Turkish proverb
Listen, or your tongue will keep you deaf.

- Native American proverb
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Empathetic Listening
The vital importance of developing good listening skills is a recurrent theme throughout Stephen Coveys The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. His fifth habit, Seek first to understand, then to be understood, could hardly be more explicit about its value. In his chapter on the principles of empathetic listening, he makes the point that truly effective listening is far more than the mechanical process than many of us might think it is. If MePLC really wants to reap the benefits of listening then you have to be a participant in the conversation, whether or not you say a word. Not participating is what one of my teachers used to call the in one ear and out the other approach to listening. It might have been cool in school, but believe me, its bad in business. In many situations youll need to be able to listen in a way that will enable you to get right inside some of those personal, professional, and business stories that are being told to you, so you can truly empathise with the person who is communicating with you, and truly understand where they are coming from. The positive emotional rewards for being able to pull this approach to listening out of your communication toolbox, when you need to, are limitless. Remember that good listening is an active and not a passive activity. That means you need to think about what it is you want to get out of conversation. Are you talking with, or listening to, a person because you want to share information? Or is your objective to influence them in some way, to find out what they think about a particular situation, or just to help them through a difficult situation? These are just a few examples, but the point is that each objective or combination of objectives may require a slightly different approach not just to what you say, but also to your approach to listening.
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Know how to listen, and youll profit even from those who talk badly.
- Plutarch, 1st-century Greek historian
Active Listening
Dont just listen with your ears, use your face too. Get that body language thing going on. Gestures and non-verbal signals when listening are just as important to communication as they are when you are speaking. Give feedback through eye contact, nods of the head, smiles, raised eyebrows and so on, and use what could be described as connecting language or phrases like I see and encouraging ones like tell me more. This all helps to make sure the speaker knows you are paying attention that you are hearing what they are saying, are genuinely interested in what they are saying, and most important of all, are comprehending what they are saying. As well as helping you to concentrate on whats being said, it will also help to keep the speakers train of thought moving, which means they are more likely to provide you with valuable information. The next important thing to consider is the point at which you respond to whatever is being said. During conversations, one to one or in a group, be careful about how you jump in or interrupt the speaker, especially if youre not certain theyve finished making their point. If you are not absolutely deliberate in your listening then its very easy to interrupt the speaker by making critical comments (or faces!). It doesnt benefit either you or the speaker if you start to make suggestions as to how to solve a problem before youve even fully heard it explained. Knowing the appropriate points at which you should interject your comments will become more obvious the more you practice listening skills. Another thing you can only learn through practice is finding the right moment to ask questions of clarification, or when to recap or summarise whats being said, just to make sure you have a shared understanding.
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Just Listening
Perhaps the most essential listening skill you need to learn is making sure that the speaker feels they have your full attention. Effective listening is not something you can do while multi-tasking. So no, you cant just finish writing that urgent e-mail while youre supposed to be listening to someone, on the telephone or in person. Apart from being straight-up rude, this sends a very clear message about your level of commitment, or lack of, to whats being said. That said, theres nothing wrong with suggesting that its not the best time to have a conversation. Offer to set some time aside as soon as possible so you can give the person your undivided attention. However, you need to make sure that you follow up on your promise. Giving your full attention to someone, really listening to what theyre saying, does more than help focus your ears and mind on the words that are being spoken. You will also open yourself to receiving the non-verbal communication transmitted by facial expression, posture, and all of the other body language that can say so much more than the spoken word. But more, it means that you are sending your own non-verbal message to the other person that what theyre saying is important, and therefore that they are important to you as well.
Listen to the mustnts, child. Listen to the donts. Listen to the shouldnts, the impossibles, the wonts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me ... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.
- Shel Silverstein, poet and author
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Many of you have probably worked with so-called leaders who were lousy communicators. I certainly have! One that immediately springs to mind was the new chief executive of an organisation I worked for a few years ago. After obviously being told that it might be a good idea to walk the floor in order to introduce himself and find out what the people in his organisation did, he came over to my desk, gave me his name, and asked me about my work. I spoke to him for about five minutes. In that time he managed to fix his eyes on the space under my desk, the ceiling, and just about anything else he could find to look at, except me. When he thought hed heard enough, he gave me an impersonal thanks and moved on to the next victim of his blatant disinterest. All of the elements were there, but no communication happened unless you count his clear message that what I had to say wasnt particularly important to him. Communication, the act of conveying and receiving information, happens in more ways than any of us could possibly think of, but for MePLC there are two fundamentals to bear in mind. First, that communication is a two-way thing, and the ability to be a good listener is just as important as being able to communicate. And second, as Anthony Robbins, one of the Western worlds most popular motivational gurus, puts it: To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others. Giving someone your full attention not only ensures that youll hear what they say, it creates a connection between the two of you.
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Until the lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
African proverb
Marketing MePLC
Just like any company or organisation worth its salt will have a marketing or communication department (or at the very least some kind of marketing plan), you need to have a part of you that generates, controls and promotes your personal brand in order for the MePLC story to be told and sold. Unfortunately, most people spend more time thinking about what they are going to have for dinner tonight than they do thinking about building their personal brand. Its not quite the same as developing and promoting a brand in the traditional marketing sense of the word, but there are important similarities, particularly in terms of the impact brand building is designed to have on the consumer. Storytelling is a key part of branding. Being a very fussy eater, there have been several occasions when Ive been abroad and found myself looking for a McDonalds fast food outlet. I never touch the stuff when Im at home, but because its familiar and because I know what to expect from the product, when in doubt Im usually happy to seek it out. Thats the power of a good brand. The same is true for MePLC. You need to quite deliberately position yourself and what you have to offer in the best light so your stakeholders, be it your manager or people who report to you at work, people in your network, your children, or other members of your family, are clear about what they can expect from you and its value to them.
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And although we are focusing on the telling of that personal brand story, it is critically important to remember that a major part of that story is about how you deliver on what the story promises. So, whats your story? Its impossible for MePLC to thrive or succeed if you dont know the answer to this question. You need to be able to describe yourself, your values, your experience, your skills, your uniqueness, your aims and how you intend to achieve them. And you need to relate these things through compelling stories that will help you and others to better understand what MePLC is all about, and why its worth buying into. Not only that, these stories are also key to your wider marketing strategies because good stories will be passed on from stakeholder to potential stakeholder, and from customer to potential customer, opening new avenues of business for you.
There is only one way under high Heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.
- Dale Carnegie
Send a boy where he wants to go and you see his best pace.
- African proverb
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Can You Hear Me Now?

The final and extremely crucial thing to say about listening is that you must practice and learn to listen to yourself. You underestimate the value to MePLC of that voice within at your peril. Covey goes large on this, and so does Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goldman. For Goldman, self-awareness is an absolute core competency for effective leadership. In a followup book, Primal Leadership (co-authored with Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee), Goldman highlights self-awareness as one of four emotional intelligence domains which cut across all other leadership competencies identified by the authors. Meaningful self-awareness relies heavily on being able to listen to yourself being aware of your emotional state, your values, your aspirations, your personal standards, and the impact you have on others. Essentially, this is about being able to engage in a process aimed at bridging the gap between the real Me and the Me you really want to be. But its also much more than that. Its about marketing yourself, to yourself. Its about the internal working out of the pros and cons of different approaches to situations. Its about being able to control your emotions. Its about creating peace within. Its about cultivating the story of MePLC. Ive heard it said that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Ive no idea where this saying comes from, but what I do know is that if theres any truth in it, then were all mad. The fact is that we talk to ourselves constantly. If you want to be an effective leader of your own Personal Leadership Company you need to ensure you make the time to do it consciously. Even more important than that, you need to really listen to the stories that you tell to yourself. But the most important thing is that you believe your stories and that you believe in yourself.
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Dont compromise yourself. You are all youve got.

- Janis Joplin
Return on Investment
Who could disagree with pop music mega-star Michael Jackson, when he sings that starting with the man in the mirror is the key to achieving change in your life? OK, we might not all be able to afford, or be inclined to go with, the plastic surgery option, but in all other respects this sentiment hits the nail bang on the head. And it very much accords with the central message of this book if its to be its up to me, if youre gonna get through its up to you. So if its that simple, you might ask, then why dont we all just get on with doing whatever needs to be done to ensure we can have a happy and successful life? For me the answer to that question is twofold. Firstly, most of us have no idea what it is we need to do. To my knowledge, the manual for having a great and successful life hasnt been written yet and unless it were given to us at birth (along with a one year return to base guarantee), like you get when buying a household appliance, most of us are so busy trying to survive from day to day that wed probably lose it in a box hidden in the back of the garage anyway. Im not suggesting that this is that manual, but hopefully having read about the principles behind MePLC, you now at least have a much better idea than you did before of some of the things you could do to change your life for the better. The second reason why the simple answer doesnt work is more complex. Many people are reluctant, and in many cases downright resistant, when it comes to embracing self-improvement strategies, because of a pure and simple lack of ambition to be all that they can be in this life. In order to begin changing, you first need to admit to the fact that you might actually need to change. And thats a hard thing to admit to. Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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So, when we look in that metaphorical mirror, we tell ourselves that this is as good as it gets, regardless of any evidence to the contrary. No need to change anything here, no issues to address, no work to be done. But while the vast majority of people are more than happy to accept this often fallacious diagnosis of themselves, there are some (like you, possibly) who have an increasingly nagging doubt and wonder if there is something they ought to be doing to brighten the true reflection that comes back at them. I know, because Ive been there. For a long time my progress was stifled by the questions I asked myself: Am I really up for investing the time and energy that might be required? Will doing all the self-improvement stuff that Id heard and read about really be worth the effort? Am I worth the effort?
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
- Wayne Dyer, self-help author and lecturer
The highest reward for mans toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it.
- John Ruskin, 19th-century social critic
Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
- Oprah Winfrey
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The Cost of Negative Emotions

I eventually found the answer to these questions by thinking about it in terms of a well-established business concept, that of the cost/benefit analysis, and once I looked at the business case I was left in no doubt: making the effort turns out to be worth everything. Lets start with the probable cost of not making the effort to accumulate more of those positive emotions in your lifes bank account. In one sense, it wont cost you anything at all. If youre happy to drift through life operating in your perceived comfort zone and obeying the laws of the whatever will be will be gospel, then theres no need to invest time and energy on self-improvement. Whats more, if you take any comfort from being a follower of fashion, you can rest (on your laurels) assured that you are a devotee of the worlds largest and most prevalent religion. But what if youre not happy with that state of affairs, which I assume is the case for almost all of you who have taken the trouble to read this book? Then youll probably know that there is an incalculable cost in terms of the effect it has on your spirit and sense of emotional, mental and physical well-being. If there is one thing that is more soul-destroying than knowing in your heart of hearts that youre failing to fulfil your true potential in life, it is realising that the compromises you have accepted about what really matters to YOU have created a gaping deficit in your positive emotions account. For many people the full extent of this realisation comes in their twilight years, as they reflect on a lifetime of might-have-beens and missed opportunities. As the German proverb says: old too soon, smart too late. The 19th-century philosopher Henry David Thoreau was so right when he observed that Most men [and women] lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. That, in a nutshell, is the ultimate cost of not taking command of MePLC.
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But regret and realisation at the end of life only begs the question: what is this doing to us, subconciously, every day? In my experience, the consequences of not taking control of MePLC during the life journey to that point of realisation has immediate impact, typically characterised by low levels of self-awareness, high levels of stress (blatant and latent), the making of poor decisions (with alarming regularity), an unhealthy pre-occupation with money and materialism, psychological instability, difficulty in communicating, an overtly cynical outlook on life and/or an inability to form meaningful or sustained relationships. Do you know anyone about which all or any of these things could very obviously be said? I certainly do, including several so-called leaders of organisations, teams, and families. And what they all have in common, it seems to me, is a lack of some aspect of Me-FOCUS. The personal cost where any or all of the characteristics mentioned above are dominant features of a persons life experience is that they are guaranteed to create a healthy credit rating in their negative emotions account. Among the many unhealthy manifestations of this are persistent ill health, insomnia, irrationality, irritability, reduced mental capacity, and general ineffectiveness as a leader of MePLC.
The social and interpersonal benefits of positive emotions seem intuitive. Joy and other positive emotions bring people closer and seem necessary for forming and maintaining relationships. In diary studies, high trait positive emotionality predicts greater involvement in social activities, more enjoyable social interactions and greater friendship closeness.
- Christine E. Waugh and Barbara L. Fredrickson, Journal of Positive Psychology, April 2006
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You Can Change Things

Of course, there are some things in our lives we cant change. The weather, our family background and, occasionally, the hand that fate deals for us are a few examples (although Im convinced that the powers that be are working hard on the first of these). But apart from this, as far as Im concerned, practically everything else is up for grabs when it comes to the possibility for change. The trick is in knowing what can and cant be changed, and then knowing how to make change for the better. Even then, change usually involves making an investment and taking some kind of risk. Thats certainly the case in the world of business where deciding to open a new outlet, reorganise your management structure, or realign services to meet changes in demand doesnt always result in the desired objective of increasing profits or minimising losses. The same is true with the business of your life. But its equally true that, at best, all you can achieve if you dont change when change is needed is withering stagnation. And thats where doing the cost/benefit analysis comes in, because it helps you to make decisions about the calculated risks involved in resolving to change or making an investment, and then in measuring the return on your investment. Weve already looked at the potential cost side of not making this investment in yourself, so what about the potential benefits, or return on your investment of time, energy and commitment to taking on the role as CEO of MePLC? Well, the first thing to say is that if youre stuck in that rut whether its to do with career, family, or just life in general then youll know that making a firm decision to try and get out of it is its own reward. I believe that adopting the principles of a Me-FOCUSed approach to life will help you with this. In fact I cant think of any rut in life that being fearless, optimistic, creative, unique (your true self) and a storyteller wont eventually get you out of.
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But getting out of the rut is only the beginning. As I mentioned in the introduction to MePLC, there is so much more to the return on your investment in taking this approach to running your life business. So by way of recap and conclusion, lets take a final look at Brian Tracys six measures of success in life.
A man is not rightly conditioned until he is a happy, healthy, and prosperous being; happiness, health, and prosperity are the result of a harmonious adjustment of the inner with the outer of a man with his surroundings.
- James Allen, 19th-century American author
Peace of Mind
This is undoubtedly the single most important return on your investment in MePLC and the bottom line of your positive/negative emotion profit and loss account. If you can achieve sustained peace of mind then in many respects youll want for nothing. Tracy describes it as freedom from fear, freedom from anger, and freedom from guilt three of the major psychological ailments of our time and master creators of negative emotion. The key value of having peace of mind is that it allows real clarity of thought and therefore gives you the freedom to fully utilise your unlimited mindpower. Once this is achieved youll be able to see the illusion of content for what it is and be in a position to dictate the meaning of every situation you encounter. Peace of mind puts you in control.
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High Levels of Physical Health and Energy

This really is a no-brainer. As Tracy puts it: No matter what we have in life, if we dont have our health or the energy to enjoy what we have, then we dont get much satisfaction out of it.
Loving Relationships
These are master creators of positive emotions. Whether they be romantic, familial, or platonic, there is evidence from the very beginnings of human existence right through to the present day to show that healthy, fully functioning people thrive on the affection they are able to give and receive through the process of experiencing loving relationships. Why? Because as the five-times-married actress Eva Gabor once said: Love is a game that two can play and both win.
We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.
- William Gladstone, 19th-century British Prime Minister
The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.

- Victor Hugo, 19th-century French playwright
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
- Lao Tzu
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Financial Freedom
This will mean different things to different people, but essentially its about having enough money for money not to be something that you worry about. For some being able to earn 20,000 a year will be enough; for others it will be 20,000 per day. The most important thing is that to remember is that, while money really does matter, its really difficult to enjoy your life if you pre-occupied with making more of it. It should be a means and not an end in itself. And one important cautionary note to remember about this most obvious of returns on investment is that wealth (as in financial well-being) can very easily become illth (as in financial illness) and a major source of negative emotions if we allow it to get the better of us.
Worthy Goals and Ideals

Having a route map for scoring those life goals mentioned in the introduction to this book is an all too rare human resource, but this is more than that. It is a mapped-out strategy for creating and scoring beautiful goals. As Tracy says, happiness has been defined as the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. You can only be happy when you are working step by step toward something that is really important to you.
Remember happiness doesnt depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.
- Dale Carnegie
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Personal Fulfillment
This is what Abraham Maslow called self-actualisation, and the one he placed at the very top of his hierarchy of human needs. Its about being able to fulfil your true potential and being able to find and answer your true calling in life. In Maslows words: A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. He must be true to his own nature. This need we may call self-actualisation.
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds.
- Bob Marley
It Works for Me
According to Brian Tracy, one of my many teachers in the school of life, We all measure our success relative to our ability to enjoy more of these six ingredients. Since I began taking a Me-FOCUSed approach to running my personal leadership company I can honestly say that I experience and feel elements of all six of these returns on my investment in Me on a daily basis. I believe the same can be true for you, too. Are you seeing more questions than answers when you look in the mirror at the moment? Once you get started on developing and maintaining Me-FOCUS as the core principles for how you run your MePLC. I am convinced that it wont be long before the person you see in the mirror will be the one with all of the right answers to all your questions about personal success and happiness.
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There once was a stonecutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life. One day he passed a wealthy merchants house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. How powerful that merchant must be! thought the stonecutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant. To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. How powerful that official is! he thought. I wish that I could be a high official! Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. How powerful the sun is! he thought. I wish that I could be the sun! Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. How powerful that storm cloud is! he thought. I wish that I could be a cloud! Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone.
From More is Not Enough a Zen story courtesy of www.rider.edu 142
But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realised that it was the wind. How powerful it is! he thought. I wish that I could be the wind! Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it a huge, towering rock. How powerful that rock is! he thought. I wish that I could be a rock! Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. What could be more powerful than I, the rock? he thought. He looked down and saw far below him . . . . . . the figure of a stonecutter.
Everything that you need to succeed is already within you. All you need to become fearless, to live optimistically, to take joy in your creativity, to celebrate your uniqueness, and to tell your own personal story is in your heart, your hands, and your will. I hope that this book has helped you realize just how much potential you have, and what the benefits of focusing on MePLC can bring to your life. I know youll have a fascinating and rewarding journey. The very best of luck to you.
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Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult once we truly understand and accept it then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
- M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled
Resources
GENERAL Are You Ready To Succeed?: Unconventional Strategies For Achieving Personal Mastery in Business and in Life, Sirkumar Rao, Hyperion, 2006 Awaken The Giant Within, Anthony Robbins, Simon & Schuster, 1992 Creating You and Co.: Be the Boss of Your Own Career, William Bridges, Nicholas Brealey, 1997 From Kitchen Sink To Boardroom Table: Releasing Womens Potential for Corporate Success, by Joan Blaney and Richard Scase, BlackAmber, 2003 Good To Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Dont, by Jim Collins, Random House, 2001 Help Yourself, by Dave Pelzer, Thorsons, 2002 How To Be Rich, Ruskin Comics, The John Ruskin Foundation (www. ruskinforall.org.uk) How To Get What You Want And Want What You Have: A practical guide to personal success, by John Gray, Vermillion, 1999 Leitch Review of Skills: Prosperity for All in the Global Economy, Lord Sandy Leitch, HM Treasury, 2006 (available from: www.hm-treasury. gov.uk) Lessons in Living, by Susan L. Taylor, Angela Royal Publishing, 1996
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Managing Oneself, by Peter F. Drucker, Harvard Business Review MarchApril 1999 (available from www.sld.cu/galerias/pdf/sitios/revsalud/ managing_oneself.pdf) Managing on the Edge, Richard Pascale, Penguin Book, 1990 Million Dollar Habits: Proven Power Practices to Double and Triple Your Income, by Brian Tracey, Entrepreneur Media, 2004 (also available in audio CD format) Money For Life, by Alvin Hall, Hodder & Stoughton, 2000 Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman et al, Harvard Business School, 2002 Outstanding Leadership, 50 Lessons in Management Series, BBC Books, 2005 Spirit to Serve, by J. W. Marriot Jr. and Kathi Ann Brown, Harper Business, 1997 The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey, Simon & Schuster, 1989 The Little Book of f-Laws: 13 Common Sins of Management, by Russell L. Ackoff and Herbert J. Addison, Triarchy Press, 2006 The Power of Focus, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt, Vermillion, 2000 The Psychology of Achievement, Brian Tracy, Nightingale Conant, 1989 (also available in audio CD format) The Richest Man In Babylon, by George S. Clason, Signet, 1988
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Resources
The Psychology of Winning, by Denis Waitley, Berkley, 1986 The Road Less Travelled, by M. Scott Peck, Rider, 1985 The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want To Be, by Jack Canfield, Element, 2005 Why Leadership Is The Most Dangerous Idea In American Business, by Michael S. Hopkins, Inc.com, October 2003, (available from: www.inc. com/magazine/20030601/25522.html) Why Should Anyone Be Led By You?: What It Takes to be an Authentic Leader, by Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones, Harvard Business School, 2006 FEARLESSNESS Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers, Rider & Co., 1997 Leading Transition: A New Model for Change, by William Bridges and Susan Mitchell Bridges, Leader to Leader, Spring 2000 (available from: www.leadertoleader.org) Starting From No: Ten Strategies to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Succeed in Business, by Azriela Jaffe, Dearborn. 1999 Transitions: Making Sense of Lifes Changes, by William Bridges, Nicholas Brealey, 1996 Views from the Tightrope: Balancing Your Passion for Life and Your Fear of Change: Living Wisely in an Uncertain World, by Mitch Bobrow, Larson Publications, 1997
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OPTIMISM As A Man Thinketh, by James Allen, 2001 (available as a free download from: www.asamanthinketh.net) Dynamic Optimism: An Extropian Cognitive-Emotional Virtue, by Max Moore, 1998, (available from: www.maxmore.com/optimism.htm) Law of Attraction: The Basic Teachings of Abraham, by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Abraham-Hicks Publications, 2007 Learned Optimism, by Martin E. Seligman, Alfred A. Knopf Inc., 1991 The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent: Living the Laws of Allowing, by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, 2006 The Secret, Rhonda Byrne (Editor), Atria Books, 2006 The Power of Optimism, by Alan Loy McGinnis, Harper & Row, 1990 Think And Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, Fawcett, 1960 (available as a free download from: www.selfstartersweeklytips.com/tagr.htm) CREATIVITY Facilitating Good Strategic Conversations, by Chris Nichols, Converse magazine, (issue 4, 2006), published by Ashridge Consulting Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Basic Books, 1997 The Five Faces of Genius: Creative Thinking Styles to Succeed at Work, by Annette Moser-Wellman, Penguin, 2001 The 80/20 Individual: The Nine Essentials of 80/20 Success at Work, by Richard Koch, Nicolas Brealey, 2003
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Resources
The Creative Brain, by Ned Herrmann, The Ned Herrmann Group, 1998 The Creative Personality, by Mihlay Csikszentmihalyi, Psychology Today July/August 1996 (available from: http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-19960701-000033.html Time Pressure and Creativity: Why Time is Not On Your Side, interview with Teresa Amabile, Harvard Business School Working Knowledge for Business Leaders, (available from (http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/3030. html) Unleashing the Ideavirus, Seth Godin, Do You Zoom Inc., 2001 (www. sethgodin.com/ideavirus) UNIQUENESS Affluenza, by Oliver James, Vermillion, 2007 Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman, Bloomsbury, 1996 Irresistibility: Secrets of Selling Yourself, by Philippa Davis, Coronet Books, 2001 Love Yourself, And It Doesnt Matter Whom You Marry, by Eva-Maria Zurhorst, Random House, 2004 Me, Myself and Work: Self-esteem and the UK Labour Market, by Andy Westwood, Work Foundation, 2006 (downloadable from www.workfoundation.com) Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationship, by John Gray, Harper Collins, 1993 Psycho-Cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz, Pocket Books, 1969 Soul Purpose: Self Affirming Rituals, Meditations and Creative Exercises to Revive Your Spirit, by Jackee Holder, Piatkus, 1999 Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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The Laws of Spirit: Simple, Powerful Truths for Making Life Work, by Dan Milman, HJ Kramer, 2005 The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, by Nathaniel Branden, Bantam, 1975 The Sixty Minute Father, by Rob Parsons, Hodder & Stoughton, 1997 STORYTELLING Funky Business, by Jonas Ridderstrale and Kjell Nordstrom, Prentice Hill, 2002 Guerrilla Marketing: Secrets of Making Big Profits From Your Small Business, by Jay Conrad Levinson, Houghton Mifflin, 1998 Leading Out Loud, by Terry Pearce, Jossey-Bass, 2003 Lessons In Leadership, by Ben Page and Martin Horton, Improvement and Development Agency (IDeA), 2006 (downloadable from www. idea.gov.uk) Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable, by Seth Godin, Do You Zoom Inc., 2002 The Brand Called You, by Peter Montoya, Personal Branding Press, 2003 The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep it Going, Build Rapport, and Leave a Positive Impression, by Dera Fine, Careertrack, 1997 The Story Factor: Inspiration, Influence and Persuasion Through the Art of Storytelling, by Annette Simmons, Basic Books, 2002 The Wise Fools Guide to Leadership: Short Spiritual Stories for Organisational and Personal Transformation, by Peter Hawkins, O Books, 2005
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Resources
USEFUL WEBSITES www.4temperaments.com www.abraham-hicks.com www.academyofenterprise.org www.briantracy.com www.businessballs.com www.businesslistening.com www.businessxl.co.uk www.debonogroup.com www.drwaynedyer.com www.earlnightingale.com www.entrepreneurs.gov.uk www.fastcompany.com www.i-define.co.uk www.jimrohn.com www.lawofattractiontools.com www.leadership-tools.com www.lesbrown.com www.millionairemba.com www.myersbriggs.org www.mylifeismybusiness.co.uk www.nightingale.com www.thepracticeofleadership.net www.trans4mind.com/download.html www.valuescentre.com www.zigziglar.com Copyright Pascoe Sawyers 2007.
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For information about hosting a MePLC workshop, designed to inspire and encourage participants to live their lives according to the principles outlined in this book, or to invite Pascoe Sawyers to speak at an event you are organising, write to: info@meplc.co.uk or telephone (+44) 07931 332 447.
About the Author

Who is Pascoe Sawyers? Pascoe Sawyers is Director of the IDeAs (Improvement and Development Agency) Leadership Academy, where he is responsible for overseeing the design and delivery of a range of leadership development training programmes for councillors and local government managers in England and Wales. He has over 20 years experience of providing leading-edge services in the public, voluntary and private sectors. His achievements in local government include leading on a number of high-profile PR projects such as Brent Councils work on promoting the new Wembley Stadium development, and the multi-award winning NotAnother Drop anti-gun crime campaign in the early 2000s. In 2006 he launched the UKs first-ever radio programme for and about the work of councils and councillors. The highly successful 12-programme series, Frontline, was produced and presented by Pascoe and broadcast on Colourful Radio Network over the web. He is well known in local government circles and widely recognised as one of the sectors most competent trainers and public speakers on subjects ranging from community consultation to the art of political leadership. Over the years Pascoe has devoted time to working with young people, primarily as chair and coach of a local youth football club, and has been involved in running a variety of community empowerment initiatives. These include organising a series of very successful self-improvement seminars and setting up the UKs first African-Caribbean traders market in the mid 1990s. He is an accomplished writer and journalist. He published and edited The Alarm a black current affairs and arts journal for five years from 1993, and has worked as a freelance journalist for various mainstream publications including The Guardian, Observer, London Evening Standard and The Big Issue. Pascoe lives in London with his wife and three children.
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Have a bias towards action lets see something happen now. You can break the big plan into small steps and take the first step right away.
- Indira Gandhi

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