December

13,

2004

Volume

76

Issue

MSU-B Enters Into Exchange Agreement

In June, MSU-Billings signed a Memorandum of Understanding with Jilin University in the city of Changchun, China. Jilin University became one of a number of higher learning institutions to form a cooperative exchange program with MSU-B. These exchange programs and cooperation agreements are created in order to provide internationalization opportunities for students and to further each universitys respective institutional ambitions. The Chinese Province of Jilin
Continued on page 2 A view from the top: the Great Wall of China was just one stop for the first MSU-B group to vist Jilin University last summer. Photo courtesy of Rochelle Pitman

Up

In

Smoke?...the

Low

Down

on

I-148

ISLAND SWEET SKUNK, named by the American Medical Marijuana Association as 2003 Medicine of the Year is a popular and potent strain that packs a whopping 19% THC content. Photo Courtesy of AMMA

The passing of the Montana Medical Marijuana Act (I-148) has some people breathing easier, while others are fuming. On November 2, Montana became the tenth state to approve the use of marijuana as medical treatment. An overwhelming 62 percent of voters approved the initiative. What exactly does this mean? Are we now protected under our states law to reef up when a headache strikes or indulge in a marijuana brownie at that time of the month? Not exactly. Marijuana consumption is shown to improve some of the common ailments associated with a variety of medical conditions. Use of marijuana has significantly improved the quality of life for people with HIV, AIDS, cancer, MS, and glaucoma. Patients who self-medicate with the drug have noticed improvement in the suppression

of nausea and the treatment of chronic pain, as well as an appetite increase, which is vital for those battling cancer and other diseases. Under the new law, users must register and thus become protected from prosecution. In order to register, a physicians recommendation or release of medical records must be provided. Within these documents, indication that the use of marijuana for medical purposes would provide more benefit than harm for each individual must be present. In addition, registered users will pay a currently undecided fee. The law allows registered users to possess either six plants or one usable ounce of marijuana. It remains to be seen if this will include hashish. If a patient is too ill to care for themselves, a designated caregiver will then be granted similar rights. The law also includes a
Continued on page 2

Education Outsourcing
Continued from Front Page
is located northeast of Beijing. The city of Changchun boasts a population of around three million and is the capital city of Jilin. JLU currently enrolls nearly 60,000 students and scatters five campuses throughout Changchun. There are 115 undergraduate programs available at JLU in addition to legion graduate, doctorate, and postdoctorate programs. JLU presently includes 1,000 foreign students on campus and has cooperation agreements with 130 higher learning institutions worldwide. Students who wish to participate in the study abroad program are encouraged to maintain a minimum 2.75 GPA. Applications are available at the International Studies Office in McMullen Hall. Since courses are taught in Chinese, students should possess a proficient command of the Chinese language. Chinese is taught here on our campus and JLU offers a pre-university language program as well. Tuition for one semester at JLU is the same as at MSU-B, as outlined in the MOU. Moreover, a parity agreement clause states that MSU-B will host one exchange student from JLU for each MSU-B student accepted there. Beyond tuition, students are required to fund their own housing and food costs. This should be easily accommodated since American dollars are con-

1500 University Drive SUB 225 Billings MT 59101 Business & Newsroom: 657-2194 Fax: 657-2191 E-Mail: retort@msubillings.edu

Jed Barton.........................Editor-in-Chief Evelyn Irmen...............Business Manager Jennifer Fenton......................A&E Editor Betsy Harris...........................News Editor Tove Bornes........................Layout Editor Niki Porter.............................Photo Editor Bryce Skjervem....................Sports Editor Beth Kern.......................Creativity Editor Brook Madison......................Copy Editor Olivia Stief..................................Reporter Vacant..........................................Reporter Dan Hansen..............................Cartoonist Adam Zelka........................Puzzle Master Dennis Elliott.........................Staff Writer Mabel Kosanke.......................Staff Writer Angela Paul............................Staff Writer Emily Valenzuela....................Staff Writer
Guidelines & Policies The Retort encourages the submission of letters to the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length and include name, signature, and phone number. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Retort is published every other Tuesday. Letters must be submitted by the Friday after the most recent issue date. The Publications Board of ASMSU-B advises The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opinions expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of its members, the college, students, student government, state government, or federal government.

siderably more valuable in China. For anyone who does not speak Chinese or who is interested in a short term international excursion, a faculty led China trip is anticipated in 2006. The first China trip, which took place last May, was highly successful and thoroughly enjoyed by all who went. The travel itinerary included studying and fraternizing at JLU, shopping and sightseeing in Beijing, trekking a tract of The Great Wall, floating the flooding Yangtze river, and marveling at the miraculous Terra Cotta Warriors. The cost of the trip, which is all inclusive, is around $2,500. Senior Rochelle Pitman was one of the lucky 18 students who went to China. The trip was led by Dr. Mary McNally in May. Pitman says of her experience It was nice to get away and learn a lot, only for a shorter period of time. Pitman learned from her travels how fortunate we are to live in this country, saying that many people she spoke to were astonished to discover that nearly everyone here owns a car. Citing the law which mandates each family to produce only one child, Pitman says the Chinese people cherish their children as the gifts that they truly are. Pitman says she now realizes how much we take for granted in this country, even something simple like the widespread availability of Western toilets. Pitman sums up her thoughts on the life altering experience saying, the friendships formed will last forever.

Up In Smoke
provision for those caught using the drug when not registered; they will have an opportunity to prove they were using for medical treatment. The law does not specify at all how marijuana will be obtained. At least initially, people will have to continue to use their black market dealers, who are not offered any legal protection. Eventually cooperatives pooling resources from a number of users may be organized, as has been the trend in other states. Furthermore, the law does not allow for the consumption of marijuana in the workplace, while operating a

Continued from Front Page

motor vehicle, or even ingestion by smoking. Paraphernalia used with marijuana will be protected. The approval of I-148 is an indication of the bipartisan voting trends in Montana. Our state voted to re-elect Bush and ban gay marriage and, in a seeming contradiction, passed the medical marijuana act and elected a Democratic governor. Overall it seems we live in a fairly progressive place with open-minded individuals. It should be interesting to see how I-148 is further regulated and to watch as the rest of the country follows suit.

Women, Girls, HIV and AIDS: World AIDS Day Finds MSU-B
World AIDS day is a global event dedicated to remembering the victims of AIDS and learning more about the devastating effects of AIDS. This year the theme is Women, Girls, HIV, and AIDS. This theme reflects on how AIDS has significantly increased among women. Women now make up half of all people living with HIV, with 57 percent of them living in subSaharan Africa. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 42 million people are living with AIDS worldwide. In the United States, 950,000 Americans are estimated to have HIV, with 40,000 new infections every year. In Montana, at the end of 2002 there were 359 diagnosed cases of AIDS. African American women are the hardest hit in America. Their rates of HIV are 10 to 20 times higher than those of white women. AIDS is also one of the leading causes of death among women aged 25-44. The Yellowstone AIDS Project is a non-profit organization dedicated to raising awareness about AIDS in Yellowstone County and the surrounding area. It provides referral, advocacy and direct support services to people with AIDS and their family members and friends. Adopt-a-Client: several MSU-Billings organizations helped prepare care packages for AIDS patients in Yellowstone The Yellowstone AIDS County. Photo by Niki Porter. Projects annual World AIDS Day event was held November 13, 2004. Among the honorees at the event was Cindy Dell, the assistant professor in the MSU-Billings College of Education. Dell, who has been at MSU-B for 15 years, sewed a quilt featuring 16 red and black hands surrounding an American Indian shield with two other hands and bundles of feathers. The quilt is called The Healing Hands Project and is a replica of a Kevin Red Star painting Healing Hands Shield that was used to commemorate World AIDS Day in 2003. It took Dell four months and dozens of yards of fabric to complete the quilt. According to an Associated Press poll, fear of AIDS is decreasing. In 1987, when asked if AIDS was a very serious problem nine out of 10 people said yes. Today, only six in 10 people said AIDS was a very serious problem. Officials are worried that this perception will cause people to take fewer precautions and subsequently lead to an increase in AIDS cases. AIDS does not discriminate. It affects people of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds. Anyone who is sexually active should take precautions and get an HIV test. The Yellowstone AIDS Project offers free anonymous testing at 208 North 29, Ste. 234 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9-5 p.m. Appointments are preferred. Results usually take one or two weeks to be processed. They can be reached at 245-2029. They also offer the new rapid testing, which allows an individual to get results in approximately 20 minutes. Rapid testing can be done Monday, Wednesday, or Friday from 3-5 p.m. The Deering Clinic also offers rapid and traditional HIV testing from 1-4 p.m. on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. They can be reached at 247-3389. December 1 was World AIDS day. You might not have made a quilt, but do your part in stopping the spread of this deadly disease. If you are sexually active get an AIDS test. You may save a life including your own.

English to be counsel to Mont. Sec. of State

Montanas incoming Secretary of State Brad Johnson has hired MSUBillings student legal services attorney Elwood English to serve as his chief legal counsel. English was tapped by the Bozeman Republican, following Johnsons victory over Billings Democrat Bill Kennedy in the Nov. 2 general election. English had served as adviser to Johnson during that campaign, as well as during Johnsons failed bid to obtain the Republican nomination as a candidate for the U.S. Senate in 2002. According to English, who held the identical post under Secretary of State Jim Waltermire in the 1980s, his job will be to serve as the in-house lawyer for the Secretary of State and his office. He will provide assistance and advice on legal issues that arise as that agency and its head carries out its many and varied functions, which according to the SOS offices website includes: Interpreting state election laws and overseeing elections, maintaining the official records of the executive branch and the acts of the legislature, reviewing, maintaining, and distributing public-interest records of businesses and nonprofit organizations, filing administrative rules adopted by state departments, boards, and agencies, attesting to the governors signature on executive orders, proclamations, resolutions, extradition papers, and appointments, preserving the state seal, filing and maintaining records of secured financial transactions, serving on the state Board of Land Commissioners and the Board of Examiners, and commissioning notaries public. Despite having to assist him on so many complex issues, Englishs new boss believes that his legal counsel will be up to the task. Over the years that Elwood and I have worked together in Montana Republican politics I have come to truly appreciate his astute legal and political mind. I believe that is exactly the right combination as we attempt to run the Secretary of States office in as open and evenhanded a manner as possible says Johnson. English says that he is excited to return to the fray of Montana government. However, he sayshe will miss his work at MSU-Billings, which, in addition to advising on average 70 students per semester in the student legal service office, includes teaching business law courses and coaching the MSU-Billings College Bowl quiz team. The College Bowl squad has, under his guidance, reached the final of the Northwest regional tournament the last two years in a row, advancing to the national championship in 2003. He says, I enjoyed the interaction with students and the freedom of some extra time off during the summer months. English will assume his new post on January 3 when Johnson takes the oath of office as Montanas 19th Secretary of State. As to his replacement at student legal services, ASMSU-Billings has not yet named a successor.

Student Legal Services attorney Elwood-English will join the Secratary of States staff in January leaving MSUB after 5 years. Photo by Dan Hansen

Terry C. Johnstons personal research comes to MSU-B

He was known for the historical accuracy of his books a n d s t o r i e s , b u t Te r r y C . Johnston did not come by the knowledge by just book learning, nor did he hold a doctorate in the history of the American West. He researched and studied on his own. Te r r y J o h n s t o n d i e d i n 2001 of cancer. When his wife, Vanette Johnston, decided to return to her native town of St. Louis, she felt that it wasnt to take her husbands collection of notes, books, quotes, and sources out of Montana. Thus, the collection of over 750 volumes of books and reams of notes came to MSU-Billings library. On Friday, November 19, the collection became available for public use. We started getting the collection in June 2003, said Jane Howell, an MSU-B librarian helping organize the collection. It did not arrive together. There were no problems with preserving the collection said Eileen Wright, MSU-Billings Reference Librarian. It was pretty straightforward. There were staples and paper clips to be removed because they were rusty. We also put many of the books into plastic covers, but that was about it. Otherwise, we had to do some re-organizing, and assign call numbers to books. It is a working collection, said Howell. There are mostly books and Terrys personal notes, but there are also some videos, documentaries, Portrait of author Terry Johnston by K. Havermann. and movies that are available at the reference desk. There is a full collection of 30 books in the collection written by Johnston, said Howell. These copies will stay in the collections room at the library. However, the library is working on obtaining second copies of all of Johnstons books so that they can be checked out. There are some copies of the research books out on the shelves that can be checked out as well. During his 20 year career as a writer, said Dan Carter of MSU-Billings News Service in a p r e s s r e l e a s e , Te r r y C . Johnston wrote more than 30 historical fiction novels based on actual events. Billings and its surrounding area was a place he had come to love for its historical significance. He was known to traverse muddy hillsides to gain the right perspective on a battle that occurred in the 1880s and plunge into historical nonfiction books about the early trapper, traders and trailblazers who were the first explorers into the Northwest. Te r r y w a s m o r e c o n cerned with the history and the people than the geography, said Howell. He followed the battles from both sides, said Wright. He told the story from a factual point of view. Yet, he still used fictional characters. He wanted to teach history in a fun way. Most of the first students to come in here sought information for Native American Studies and English papers, said Howell. To use the reference collection, come during the daytime. Call ahead if you want to come on Sunday or Saturday. Its just a matter of security to have someone around. There is so much on mountain men and fur traders that you would never see all together anywhere else, said Howell. It was very hard for me to give away pieces of Terry, said Vanette Johnston of her decision in the News Service press release. It didnt feel comfortable. She was able to find a level of comfort with MSUBillings. Fred Longan, a local book collector and former owner of Broken Diamond Books, a rare and used book store, said, In my opinion, a lot of real good history comes from fiction writers who are a lot more creative at holding an audience than academics are. Historians and researchers depend a great deal on libraries. What [Johnston] did was well enough that he could afford his own books. That has made a nice addition to MSU-Billings for its students.

Sporkman

By Dan Hansen

Cough, Cough, Sniff, Sniff: These Are the Guys Who Cure the Itch.
DE: (Which is great cause if I cant walk-in Ive got worse issues.) Any major operations or surgery? MLR: None, no x-ray, or pharmacy. DE: Ah, that answers my next question. MLR: Which was? DE: Now that medical marijuana is legal, are you going to start carrying it? MLR: No, since we dont have a pharmacy, but we dont typically see patients with that severity of illness. DE: Like what? MLR: Well, glaucoma, cancer, or terminal diseases. DE: Oh, yeah, I suppose not. On average how many patients do you see in a week? MLR: Between 50 and 100 for various questions and treatments. DE: Where does your funding come from? MLR: From student fees. DE: How many flu vaccinations do you have? MLR: We received 170. DE: Are there any expected shortages? MLR: Well, we still have 40, but they are reserved for the high risk patients. DE: Which are? M L R : St u d e n t s w i t h chronic diseases, or pregnant. DE: Does there seem to be a flu bug going around campus? MLR: Nothing in particular, no cases of influenza on this campus, but there have been some on other campuses in Montana. DE: Has anyone ever died on campus? MLR: Not that I am aware of. DE: If someone does die is there counseling offered to students? MLR: Yes, we have two part-time licensed counselors on staff. DE: What are the best and worse parts about your job? MLR: The best is our great staff. Also, I like working with college people. They seem to be aware and interested in their own health. DE: And the worst? MLR: It is difficult to provide continuous care for those who dont have insurance and budgets are always tight. We just do the best we can in a cost effective manner. DE: Do you need to set appointments or can you just walk in? MLR: You need to set an appointment if you need to see a doctor, but depending on the illness, you can walk-in. DE: What are your hours over semester break? MLR: Regular hours until the last day, and were closed from December 20 through January 3. There will be a physician here to cover opening day again in the spring. It was here that the interview ended. I thanked Mary for taking the time to answer the questions and then had the office pose for the picture. Now, I know how stubborn many of you readers are about going to the doctor; you need not be. The staff on this campus can handle most of your problems, even if theyre mental; and sometimes they are. This office can get you lined out, and write those much needed penicillin prescriptions. So, if you start to get the hack-ups, intestinal luge, or any of the other fun symptoms of being sick, use those student fees and go see the great staff in the Student Health Services office. Youll be all healthy for finals or for a new semester to begin. You may not even notice the beautifully cold, dark, and dreary Montana winter. If you do notice the winter starting to get to you, go skiing, or sledding, or go spin brodies in the parking lot. At least then youll get to see those fine folks in the SHS office, or even campus police. That should liven things up.

The temperatures are beginning to fall just as beautifully as the snow. This less than exotic weather has the ability to turn students into cave dwellers, only emerging to find food and class. The grey skies make it difficult to tell time, and the roadways become nightmarish. The winds howl and ice scrapers take on an almost Army of Darkness type of attachment to you. Finals are coming and life is seemingly less fun. It is now when you should be thinking: Here comes another flu season, am I ready? Okay, no one actually thinks that way, but it is an important message nonetheless. Student Health Services, located just inside Petro Hall, is the place to go if the weather has you under. I sat down with the exceptional Mary Lou Ross and asked her several questions you were probably wondering. As a side note, all the staff in the Student Health Services department are exceptional. Your health is their concern. If you are sick now, please call 657-2153 to speak with the SHS and get that all cleared up. Otherwise, cut that number out and save it for an internally rainy day. DE: What kinds of treatments do you provide? MLR: We are an ambulatory health facility. DE: (Blank Stare) MLR: We have family practitioners, essentially the same as a walk-in clinic.

THE FOLL OWING FOLLO POSITIONS ARE OPEN FOR THE 2005-2006 SCHOOL YEAR: ASMSU-B PRESIDENT ASMSU-B VICE PRESIDENT REQUIREMENTS ARE: 1. SHALL, AT THE TIME OF THEIR ELECTION AND THROUGHOUT THEIR TERM OF OFFICE, BE A STUDENT OF MSU-BILLINGS AND BE IN GOOD ACADEMIC STANDING AS DEFINED BY THE MONTANA STATE UNIVERSITY-BILLINGS GENERAL BULLETIN. 2. SHALL HAVE AT THE TIME OF THEIR ELECTION ACCUMULATED A MINIMUM OF 36 MSU-BILLINGS SEMESTER HOUR CREDITS. 3. SHALL HAVE BEEN A STUDENT AT MSUBILLINGS FOR 2 CONSECUTIVE SEMESTERS IMMEDIATELY PRECEDING ASSUMPTION OF OFFICE. THE ELECTION FOR THESE POSITIONS WILL BE HELD AS FOLLOWS: FEBRUARY 16TH AND FEBRUARY 17TH. DEADLINE TO APPLY IS FEBRUARY 4, 2005. RETURN YOUR APPLICATION TO SUB 213. APPLICATIONS AT: www.msubillings.edu/ asmsub ROOM 213 OF THE SUB OR COT INFORMATION DESK ANY QUESTIONS CALL ASMSU-B, 657-2365

The good people of Student Health Services are here to help when you dont feel so well. Photo by Dennis Elliott

A re Yo u Wo r r i e d A b o u t U s i n g Yo u r D e g re e ?
There seems to be a general fear about job placement in this country. People acquiring a bachelors degree are apparently worried that they wont be able to find positions in their field. The fear comes from inside the body; I think its called self-doubt. Because I strive to use as little factual data as possible, Ill be forced to make up some numbers that you can take as fact. Seventy three percent of college seniors are nervous about finding a job after they graduate. I wish I had one of those wrong answer buzzers, because I would push it now. The only problem graduates are going to face is waiting until they have graduated to look for a job. People, students, freshmen to seniors, you must go and get the job; it will not be handed to you. America is that simple. People who strive to succeed will and those who lolly-gag around will miss good opportunities. Good jobs are out there. The baby boomers from Americas hay days are getting old, retiring, or dying. This is the part where you put two and two together and see that it leaves a load of positions open in all fields. Now, of course, some markets are flooded with people of generally the same caliber and qualifications, but there is hope. If you start early and broaden the scope of your employment hopes, the number of positions and diversity of opportunities becomes apparent. Look for government spots, private sector jobs, maybe even start your own business. Dont be afraid to look in areas all over the country. There are careers in the field you want everywhere, even if they are not advertised. Companies can find places for positive, hardworking people. First, you go in and tell them youll do anything, even volunteer if you have to. Then, once hired you ask them for more money. Its the American way, you have to market yourself as sad as it sounds, but in a positive way. Think about it man! Forty million of our parents are leaving their jobs for the glory of retirement and someday youll be able to live off Social Security too. Just kidding, that system will bankrupt shortly and everything you paid in since you got your first job at 15 will be lost. But, luckily all those good paying jobs will be open and youll be able to set aside money and live like a king in retirement, like on those investment commercials. The only possible hang up on this whole getting a job thing is your ambition, and the economy. How many jobs do you want to have in your lifetime? Doesnt a career sound nice? Many of the decisions you make early can prepare you significantly for a life long position. As soon as you declare a major, find out what kind of jobs you can get with that degree (every program pushes this info) and go to these places. I mean it, look it up in the phone book and go stop by one of these places. Talk with someone in your desired line of work and ask them about their daily work. See the business first-hand and decide if thats really what you want to do. Who knows, maybe youll go on to grad school. One thing is for sure, I have met plenty of seniors buried in credits and debt and still not sure if they have the degree for a lifetime. It is plenty worth taking the extra half hour out of your life now to better prepare yourself for the future. Why are the majority of college students worried about getting a job? It could be because you pour so much hard work and money into earning the degree, it kind of pressures you into using it. This is a good thing, I guess. You should want to use the one piece of paper that says youre qualified for the job. So, get out there and find those jobs, work hard and set up your own retirement plan. Also, dont be afraid to take that good job and keep looking for that great job. Be diligent and patient at the same time. Try to remember that finding a career is not like getting some dime a dozen job. You have to have the resume updated, a cover letter, and the whole deal. Talk with Noel Clark in the Career Services office (McMullen ground level). She can give some excellent tips that make all the difference. It takes time to find an opening that fits you best, but they are out there. And never forget there will always be positions in the military. (Well, at least as long as the rest of the world keeps hating us, so four more years essentially.) I hear they pay nice for active duty.

Photo from Retort Archives--- A Forest Service Ranger explains the ins and outs of the business to an MSU-Billings student at the 2004 Career Fair.

Board

of

Regents
rity and Bioterrorism Preparedness Act the university system must have an officer in charge of bio-safety. This person is Joanne Linstrom, and she is responsible for developing and implementing emergency response plans in case of a bioterrorist threat. We feel comfortable with the approach that we have, Hamilton said. We are not only complying to but exceeding the federal requirements in terms of handling all of these materials. Along with the issue of bioterrorism, as it relates to substances used in chemistry and biology labs and studies performed on campuses, there were questions raised as to the use of cameras and lighting for the sake of security. To sum up the Boards discussion, it could be said that every campus has issues with this. Lighting, although difficult to manage,

Discuss
seemed to be the lesser of concerns compared to cameras. The main issue with 24 hour monitoring of public areas is invasion of privacy, an issue that is as old as the Bill of Rights and has come back into the spotlight in the wake of September 11. According to Montana law it is illegal to record a persons actions or conversation without that persons knowledge. Hence, all surveillance must be clearly posted for all to see, even in public places. However, it is just as easy to commit a crime out of view of the camera. Which leads attention to the need for more clandestine security, and so on. Regent Richard Roehm, who has a background working in national security, says First, everyone makes the mistake of getting complacent, and thats what leaves us open, it doesnt matter whether its national security or campus security. If you feel everything

Security
is just wonderful, [something] is bound to happen where you least expect it. Second, we always fight the last war and prepare for the last war that we fought. Lets think as the enemy thinks instead of just keeping our finger in the dike as we go. Board of Regents chairman John Mercer said,I think this whole concept and understanding that we dont have to place security cameras on every campus. Its not necessary. Were not trying to impose some uniform airport security on every [campus]. The Board motioned to direct Commissioner Dr. Sheila Stearns, to look into security on each campus and report to the Board what is needed for all the campuses while taking into consideration individual campus needs and layouts.

The Montana University System Board of Regents met Wednesday, November 18, to discuss several issues, including student affairs and budgets, as well as campus security. During a presentation for the board, Regent Lynn Hamilton expressed concern for the protection of students from crime, as well as personal harm. More than once the subject of fire sprinklers was brought up, being what seemed to be one of the lesser topics. The more prominent subject was that of cameras and lighting on campuses all over the state. We are always concerned with the safety and security of our students, said a member of the Board. The speaker went on to say that according to the Public Health Secu-

Ta k i n g A L o o k i n t o t h e A S M S U - B illings
volved? When looking back at college, its not just about earning credits and getting a degree, its about getting involved and being able to say that you were a part of something besides the party scene. What clubs at MSU-B are you involved in other then ASMSU-B? Student Opportunity Services. Claudine Tina Beaudry is the Graduate Senator of ASMSUB. What got you involved in ASMSU? I was first involved with Graduate Student Association and they asked if I would like to be the Graduate Senator. I agreed, so here I am. What do you like most about ASMSU? I am learning so much about student government and the money is going, get involved. What other organizations are you involved in? The Graduate Student Association. Hana Rugg is a major in business finance and the business manager for ASMSU-B. How did you get involved with student government? One of my professors announced that there was

Brittany Lane is a Senator-atLarge and historian. She is a sophomore in college with an undeclared major. She believes that Everything is ok in the end, if its not ok, its not the end. What got you involved in ASMSU? Simply because I want to be a person of inspiration, where I am able to speak out and encourage others, but most of all to make a difference on campus. What do you like about ASMSU? That we are a unified group. Although the student government is a diverse group in where we stand on certain issues, despite our differences, we are still supportive of each other. Most of all, I truly enjoy the remarkable people that I have had the opportunity to meet, along with the meaningful relationships that I have formed. What issues do you focus on? Increase of education, the economy, student affairs, and current events. What would you say to the average student about getting in-

Emily Valenzuela

Hana Rugg

Tina Beaudry

Brittany Lane

goings on of the campus. What issues do you focus on? Money and finances are always an issue for me to focus on, but I feel that we all need to focus on what will benefit the students first and foremost. What would you say to encourage other students to be more involved? Being involved allows you to know more about what is going on. If you want to know where your

an opening. It fit into my schedule, so I decided to give it a try. What do you enjoy most about ASMSU? Meeting new people and the in-depth view of how fee money is utilized. What issues do you focus on in student government? As Business Manager I make sure that student organizations who ask for money arent spending it on extravagant trips. I make sure that the money we have is utilized right. What organizations, other that student government, are you involved with? Senior Gift Committee. What would you say to the average student to get them involved with student government? Try it. You dont have anything to lose. Emily Valenzuela, Senator-at-

Large, is a senior in history education with a minor in political science. What got you involved in ASMSU? Actually, I just wanted to be active in the school by volunteering and voicing my ideas (avoiding the committment and competition). Next thing I know, I am campaigning to be a senator. What do you like most about ASMSU? In a nut shell? Everything. I like knowing where my money goes, having a say on issues that affect students and the school for years to come. I like meeting and getting to know who the senators are and seeing the combination of ideas and procedures that result in great qualities of professionalism and leadership. What issues do you focus on? Fee waivers, informed voting, financial bills, making the school look better and legislative issues. What other organizations are you involved in? The Retort, Student Political Ambassadors, Substance Abuse Committee, and Academic Senate. What would you say to encourage other students to be more involved? Being involved is a fun way to meet people and explore interests that may be outside of your field of study.

What

is

Professor
or university lecturers can lighten the load for the tenure teachers so they can focus on other areas. They do not feel a Ph.D. is necessary to teach all of the general education courses. MSU-Bozeman, however, uses teachers assistants (graduate students) to teach many of these courses, but because MSU-B does not have large graduate programs to draw from. It is not an easy job to balance the budget and look at the needs of the students at the university, as well as the needs of the faculty. As Academic Vice Chancellor, Park works closely with the deans of each of the colleges to assess their needs and balance it with what everyone feels is the best for the students of MSU-B. Some faculty members feel that at times part-time faculty or university lecturers are not as well equipped to teach because they do not always have a masters degree in the same college they are teaching. They feel that part-time faculty are not held to the same standards as professors and that not having full-time professors who produce books, research, and articles(scholarship) decimates our intellectual community and the value of our MSU-B degrees. Provost Park said that she has to think about long term situations, like enrollment fluctuations, budget, and inflation while hiring new faculty members. She also claims that she works with the deans of each college to find out their needs and hopefully to come to an agreement to ben-

Anyway?
efit everybody. Perhaps the faculty and the Provost need to communicate more effectively because every faculty member interviewed (none of whom want to be identified), feels that there is one and only one reason the administration hires part-time faculty and university lecturers, and that reason is money. The students are divided on the subject of the quality of teaching. Some say they have had tenure-track teachers who obviously are not worried about being evaluated and are bored out of their minds teaching. Some say that they have had remarkable experienced teachers. Others say that they have had lecturers with enthusiasm who are effective teachers. Still others say that they have had part-time faculty who they feel are not knowledgeable on the subjects they are teaching. Students may not know much (as we at the Retort did not) about the types of faculty members and what the faculty members do or do not get paid, and they may not care, but it is safe to say that the majority of the students do care about the value of their degree from MSU-B. Do you feel that your degree is worth less because of part-time faculty, or university lecturers? Please let us know at retort@msubillings.edu or 1500 University Drive SUB 225, Billings, MT 59101, ATTN: News Editor.

(This article is in response to Ben Marschkes letter to the editor on page 16.) Recently the Retort featured an article on the new history professor and was informed in no uncertain terms that the person in question was not a professor, but is in fact a university lecturer. Gee, we thought the beings who stand in front of our classes are our professors. Luckily we were informed of this grave misconception. Actually, there are a number of different titles for those people who stand in front of you every day and impart their knowledge to you. Instructors, university lecturers, assistant professors, associate professors, full-time professors, tenure-track professors, emeritus professors are a few of the categories. full time University lecturers teach more than professors, usually 24 credits or more per year. Lecturers are hired annually, so each year they can be evaluated and rehired or let go. Lecturers are paid less than professors. However, if they have a Ph.D. they are paid more than if they do not. MSU-B adheres to the agreement in section 7.270 of the Collective Bargaining Agreement between Montana State University-Billings Faculty Association and the Montana University System which states that a ratio of no more than one lecturer to six tenuretrack faculty will be employed. At

no time will lecturers compose more than 15 percent of the full-time equivalent faculty. Certain faculty members feel that the university hires part-time faculty and university lecturers to save money at the cost of quality classroom instruction. According to Janie Park, the universitys Provost and Academic Vice Chancellor, budget is obviously an issue, but she feels lecturers are able to focus more on the teaching aspect of working at the university since they are not responsible for scholarship as well, and therefore, they may actually be better teachers. Park also claims that part-time faculty who are also professionals in their fields, such as Business Law instructors who are also lawyers, bring real life experience to their classes, which greatly benefits the students. The fact that lecturers are evaluated every year in order to either rehire them or let them go may also add to their performance, since they know they are being watched. Full-time tenure-track professors, on the other hand, are evaluated every three years and, if needed, they are put on a plan of improvement. They need not be too worried about their performance because its not like their job is at stake. Tenure-track professors are expected to teach, provide scholarship, and do service. The administration feels that in subjects where there is a heavy service load, such as history or English, part-time faculty members

Apparently, a scourge of pornography is sweeping the campus. Two more incidents of porn surfing were reported in the library last month. Both perpetrators were not students of this campus. This is a serious issue, in that as a public university owned by the state of Montana it is illegal for anyone to view online porn while using a campus computer. If you want to use your own personal computer or laptop to look at porn in your dorm room, that is perfectly legal. It is interesting to note that both occasions happened at the library, which is funny because there is absolutely no privacy when using computers in the library. Oh well, when you get caught up in what youre doing

11-14 A male resident had been drinking when he tried to enter his dorm room. The problem was that it was the wrong room. He was asked to leave, which he did, but then he proceeded to enter another wrong room. Police were called while Robert Downey Jr. wandered aimlessly around the dorm. He was eventually hauled to the Yellowstone County Jail. 11-15 Campus police worked in conjunction with a federal agency to locate a student suspected of soliciting a minor on the internet. The student complied to questioning, and the investigation is now in the hands of the feds. 11-16 A fire alarm went off in one of the family housing apartments. Security arrived and found no one home, but could smell something burning. They entered the unit and

discovered that the oven was on the self-cleaning cycle, and something inside was causing it to burn. The lesson here, dont leave home just because the oven can clean itself. 11-19 We all know that this is a public campus, therefore a lot of people on campus at almost any given time are not students. This is perfectly fine, especially in the winter as many people in the area may need to pop into a building and warm up or take a rest. Sometimes transients find themselves on campus for many reasons: using the library, having coffee or just warming their bones. However, whether one is homeless or not, behavior must always remain acceptable, and if anyone is ever harassing you or giving you a scare, dont hesitate to alert security. Campus police do not make the decision to

remove people; a complaint must first be made. On this date, a suspicious person was escorted from the book store. 11-20 A female student was rushed to ER after being discovered passed out in the bathroom of a campus building. She was later issued an MIP when they realized she was drinking. 11-22 It was reported that three of the international flags hanging in the Galleria last week were stolen. They were recovered Nov. 29, but the investigation is continuing. This is supposed to be the season of giving and joy, but for some it is the prime time to take advantage of unsuspecting people. Please keep your wits about you so you dont fall victim, and please take it easy on the eggnog this year.

This Music Will Hit You Between the Eyes

There is a force to be reckoned with in Billings, and they call themselves ENDever. I recently had a chance to sit with the band and get an interview. The following is brought to you by ear plug manufacturers everywhere. In November of 1998, drummer Matt Devitt was jamming with his friend Andre Brown, who plays bass and sings. They were soon joined by Mario Castillo and Dave Kosmann Jr., both guitarists, and the wild ride known as ENDever was born. Their music can be described as brutal and driving, the way heavy metal is supposed to sound. Mainstreams idea of metal is actually more like a concept of hard rock, so youre not likely to hear this stuff on the radio, but never fear, you can pick up any of their five CDs at local music stores such as Ernies and Hastings. If you are of legal age, the lovely Rainbow Bar on beautiful, historic Montana Avenue has a number of ENDever songs on their jukebox as well. After releasing Messis Cr Morte in 1999, and Penetration in 2001, they added Mike Walters to the family, and the line up has remained the same since then. Mike adds additional screaming to the group. Beautiful Music for Ugly Children came out in 2002 and their song Wargasm is featured on Home on the Range Vol 2, which was released in 2003. Their latest album, Hillbilly Olympics came out in 2004. It is a split CD with Bozeman based Smash Division. This album is the love child of a day of drinking and debauchery in Bozeman when several bands got together and held a contest of 21 events that included a spitting contest, speaker toss, truck pushing, and the like. You know, Hillbilly Olympics! ENDever is no flash in the pan. These guys work hard at what they do, and they have a hardcore, loyal fan base. They have played Seattle, Salt Lake City, Chicago, and a number of other cities. In 2000 they played the Milwaukee Metal Fest. They have shared the stage with many bands as well, such as Skinlab, 5 Foot Thick, Dope and High On Fire. If you have a taste for blitzkrieg metal, these guys will settle on your palette nicely. Their next show is an unplugged set on December 18 at the F.O.E., which is located just north of Wicks Lane in the Heights. They will also play New Years Eve at the same venue. Pay Attention!

ENDever: an intoxicating assault to the eardrums. Photo courtesy of Dave Kossman Jr.

Alexander : European History Hits Theater

M o v i e D e p i c t s Yo u n g K i n g s R i s e t o P o w e r
viewed this movie, stating, The film has at its center a magnetic, super-physical, smart, sometimes over-packed portrayal of Alexander Extreme goals and great persistence sometimes leads to the basis of their own devastation- a proposition that is both the main subject and dangerous temptation of Oliver Stones risky production on the biography Alexander. Stones interpretation of Alexanders short life includes his triumphs and faults: the shocking adolescent who won his first victories at 16, and who became the leader of Greece at 20. This led to his conquering most of the world by 25 and, after his death at 32, he became an immortal legend. The theme and plot grasps ones attention with an enraged political conspiracy, dishonor and sexual lust. This is the sort of deliberately inyour-face, moviemaking that turns off some moviegoers, especially those who are politically conservative in their beliefs. Stones Alexander is a vivid creation, a story that displays Alexander and his generation as a variety of characters. Many will find the movie emotional, too sexual and even ridiculous. Alexander is created as a phenomenon of conflict and visionary of order, undone by his own relentless mission, by not only the anger of his mother Olympias, played by Angelina Jolie (in an excellent role in looking evil and self-righteous) but also by the dishonesty of his generation. The Chicago Tribune replayed by Colin Farrell, in blond always his mysterious, seemingly locks and oddly appropriate Irish invincible inner drive. brogue - catching the kings chaSurprisingly, Alexander is risma and self-confidence but not shown with compassion as an optimistic unifier who tried to create a kingdom with cultural tolerance and enlightened policies but failed because of goals that were almost impossible. Some might label a person with goals and ideas such as his either as a tyrant, dictator or just insane. Stones portrayal is affectionate and innovative. An example is how Stone portrays the youthful Alexander in a court: he sensitively paints the kings homoerotic affection for his companion, Hephaistion, which is played by Jared Leto. However, in the scenes depicting Alexanders feisty marriage to Eastern dancer Roxanne and the military triumphs from Persia onward, the films accuracy and realistic possibilities should be questioned. Stone gives us a vivid theme and a tough plot; this movie is an impressive achievement of reconstruction. Even if it often looks like the insanity of illusions - especially when it shows us the extravagant Greece teachings to the Hanging Gardens of Babylon to the last overwhelming Indian elephant charge - the visions are a shock for viewers. Even if Alexander doesnt conquer the world or see his visions come true, Stones Alexander is worth seeing. The production hot-wires history and Colin Farrell stars as Alexander the Great in the action adventure drama politics into a cultivating, breathAlexander, distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. taking ride. 2004 IMF Internationale

Holiday Must HavesAll I Want for Christmas

As Christmas approaches it is time once again to break out the checkbook or credit cards, whichever you desire, and begin the dreaded holiday shopping. Never mind all the people that you have to fight your way through, or the terribly long lines that just never seem to end. How about driving to every store in town just so you can find the one gift from the list that everyone had to have? These are just some of the troubles that you may face when doing your Christmas shopping this holiday season. To avoid long lines, try shopping closer to closing time, especially if you already know what it is that you want. If the gift that you are looking for is a hot, must-have item, try asking when the next shipment is arriving and then be the first in line on that day. This should also help with the crowds and long lines. If you are one of those people who dont do too well around a whole bunch of other people, then try doing your shopping online; just make sure you order with plenty of time left for the items to be shipped. If you follow these simple and easy tips, you should have no trouble completing your shopping on time and pleasing all those relatives that just had to have the seasons hottest things. Here is a list of just some of the must-have, hottest items this Holiday Season: Toys Cabbage Patch Dolls- (They are the same as the ones we had when we were little.) E-L-M-O- (think of the Village Peoples Y-M-C-A, Just put Elmo in the picture instead). Video Now- This is a portable video player that younger kids can take with them everywhere they go, except school. It plays videos seen on Nickelodeon and Disney. Interac TV -This is a device that allows children to play along with their DVDs using an interactive card. Gadgets PDAs- The T-Mobile Sidekick II is the must-own PDA of the year. Plasma TVs- Any plasma TV will do. Digicams Digital cameras have been a rage for many years, but these new little cameras can take up to 5.1 pictures and fit in the palm of your hands. JVC Camcorder- These can take digital pictures and video footage. iRiver PMP- These are personal video players that you can take with you anywhere. You can listen to music, and watch music videos. MP3 Players- These have been popular for many years. XM Radio- These are stereos that you have to pay for in order to listen to music, but you have no commercial interruptions. You can take them with you anywhere, as long as there are XM attachments. When you go out searching for the perfect gift this holiday season, keep in mind these chart topping, hard-tofind, must-have gifts of Christmas 2004.

Top Ten Things Not to Do on New Years Eve!!

10. Sit at home all by yourself (how much fun could it be ringing in the new year all alone?) 9. Go out to a trashy rundown bar (yeah right, like all bars arent trashy). 8. Invite a million people over to your house for a big bash (a few close friends will do just fine). 7. Try and hook up with as many people as possible before your New Year s resolution goes into effect (the one that goes something like this...be as honest and truthful to my current love interest). 6. Make New Years Resolutions that you know you cant keep (just like the one in number seven).

5. Buy plane tickets to New York, stand in the freezing cold for hours, watch a shiny ball drop, and then realize what a waste of time and money all of it was. 4. Get a map with time zones on it and celebrate the New Year in every country. 3. Sit at home and watch Dick Clarks New Years Eve Live from Time Square again (you know you do this every year, just like you know you listened to Princes Party Like Its 1999). 2. Try and make your own champagne (7-up and malt liquor just wont do it). 1. Anything that involoves a bottle of K-Y jelly, animals, inanimate objects, or someone you dont have a clue as to who they are.

ATTENTION: ALL STUDENTS

APPLICATIONS ARE NOW AVAILABLE FOR THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS FOR THE 2005-2006 SCHOOL YEAR:
ASMSU-B PRESIDENT ASMSU-B VICE PRESIDENT
APPLICATIONS: www.msubillings.edu/asmsub OR ROOM 213 OF THE STUDENT UNION BLDG. THE DEADLINE TO APPLY IS 5pm ON FRIDAY, 2/4/05 THE ELECTION WILL TAKE PLACE FEBRUARY 16TH AND FEBRUARY 17TH. ANY QUESTIONS CALL ASMSU-B, 657-2365

Dear Jennifer, I was recently at lunch with my girlfriends, and we were having a discussion about a recent fling that one of them was involved in. It came to my attention that we were having the same conversation the week before at lunch. It must have rung a bell in the minds of my other girlfriends because Amy said, Geez, Shelly you sure seem to have good luck with men, or bad luck. I guess it depends on how you look at it personally. So I was wondering how many partners are too many partners? I mean how many people are too many people to have slept with in your lifetime? Oliver Klosoff Dear Oliver Klosoff, That is a question that can have many answers depending on a number of factors. There are the age factors, the society factors, and the gender factors. Beginning with age factors, these play an important role in the determination of how many is too many. If a 15year-old was to tell me or anyone else that they had been with someone, anyone, that one person is too many. If an 18-year-old was to come to me and say that they had been with three people I would think it was a little promiscuous but okay. If a 25-year-

old was to say that they had been with ten people I would still say a little promiscuous but okay. A 40year-old that had slept with ten people, now thats ok. Age can help map out a reality for anyone. It gives us a great idea of what is or isnt appropriate. Now to whom it is appropriate varies. Society can also play an important part in determining someone who gets around and someone who is prude. In todays society it is nothing for someone to sleep with a new person every weekend; hell, they might even sleep with a new person every night. Fifty years ago people were expected to be the Cleavers. One partner, early marriage, families, trust, love, and happiness; these were the key ingredients to happiness. Following that era, peoples perspectives changed. Sex was a wild fun thing to do and it was okay to sleep around, especially if you got a great high doing it. Times have changed and they will continue to change. Gender, a deciding factor in almost anything people do, also plays a key role in sexual experience. It is nothing for us to hear of a man sleeping with a different girl every night and think nothing of it. However, when we hear about a girl who has slept with a different guy each night she is a tramp, a cheap trick. Why?

you may ask. I dont know. Men have always had the easy hand when it comes to dating and relationships. So, if I havent answered your question whole heartedly, I am sorry. There are too many things that must first be brought to the table and a million of factors that need to be thumbed through before you can say whether someone is or isnt a ho. Dear Jennifer, I have been in a serious relationship for the past-two-and-a-half years. I play a key role in the makeup of the relationship and aid in the everyday operations and beautiful outcomes it creates. However, the time has come for me to call it quits, hang up my hat as they say, if you know what I mean. Its not that I am unhappy in the situation, but the time has come. It is time for me to move on to bigger and better things. It was a tough five years leading up to where we are and I will miss it very much. The tough obstacles that the relationship has gone through and the drastic changes it underwent were enough to send anyone overboard. We endured the late nights and early mornings, the long weekends, and almost endless deadlines that we were put through. These things made us stronger and made us work harder for what we wanted. The love and commitment that I have

given and received will truly be missed. I have gained a true understanding of friendship and love from this relationship. We both worked so hard to make it happen. But as I said before the time has come. How do I say goodbye to something so great? Lost in Love Dear Lost in Love; See ya later. P.S. To all my friends at The Retort. **This has become my home away from home and my pseudo family. To everyone who has contributed I thank you and love you all very much. To my family and friends I thank you as well. You have been very patient and helpful in the past five years. To my husband, I love you very much and truly thank you for all the patience that you have had. To my children, I know that I havent been there very much in the last few years, but it has all been worth in the end. My friend and editor Jed, I had a great time in Dallas and Nashville; you have shown me so much and taught me even more, thank you. To my readers, thank you for taking the time to read my trashy articles, or more serious artsy stuff. To all staff members, keep truckin. This is the best thing that could have happened to me in a long time and I wish you all the same.

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MSU-B Womens Basketball team splits with Seattle University

The MSU-Billings Lady YellowJackets won one game and lost one game in Washington last week. The Lady Jackets played a touch game against Seattle University on Tuesday, November 30. The Lady Jackets scored only 55 points against Seattle University, which is the least amount of points scored this season. The Lady Jackets struggled in the first half shooting only 35 percent. Robyn Milne, Michelle Lieber, and Tanya Petersen all scored double digits. Milne had five rebounds and 12 points on the game; while sophomore Michelle Lieber had 10 points and 12 rebounds. Petersen scored 12 points on the night. Langford contributed five points and four assists in the game. Lisa Jellum and Shannon Harvey both scored eight points in the game. In the second game against Seattle U, the Lady Jackets stepped up the defense and shut down the Seattle U offense. The Jackets held Seattle U to only 36 points in the 5736 win. The Lady Jackets defense did its job, stopping the outside shooting and eliminating second shots by the Seattle U offense. Seattle Us lack of scoring set them up for a new record: least amount of points scored in a game since the 2000-2001 season. Three Lady Jacket players scored in double digits. Tanya Petersen led the Lady Jackets with 12 points and six assists. Michelle Lieber had 10 points and 10 rebounds. She shot five for six from the field. Robyn Milne dropped nine points, three blocks, and 11 rebounds on the game. Junior Guard Jenny Langford scored eleven points and four assists in the game; she shot four for nine from the field and three for four from behind the three-point line. Kayla Frize and Shannon Harvey contributed a total of 11 points in the game against Seattle U.

Academic All-American Honors

graduating this spring. MerrillJohnson was the fifth leading vote receiver, she seemed to be liked by all the coaches in the NCAA from across the nation. The ESPN Academic AllAmerican Team is chosen from athletes from the NCAA Division II and III, along with the NAIA. Out of the thousands of athletes in these conferences, coaches choose 88 athletes and narrow them down to the top team. Congratulations to MSUB i l l i n g s M a rg o t M e r r i l l Johnson from her determination and hard work, and also to the Athletic Department for producing these outstanding athletes.

Margot Merrill-Johnson, senior soccer and tennis athlete, has earned the ESPN Academic All-American Team honors for her outstanding grade point average and athletic skills. Her outstanding dedication on and off the field helped her win the ESPN Academic All-American award. She was named to the first team with a total of 88 votes. Merrill-Johnson carries a 3.88 cumulative GPA and is double majoring in sociology and history. She also participates in two collegiate sports, soccer and tennis. She will be
A star on the field and in the classroom: Margot Merrill Johnson (white #12) was recently named to the ESPN Academic All American Team. Photo by Bryce Skjervem .

THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS ARE AVAILABLE FOR STUDENT SENATE FOR SPRING 2005

ATTENTION

2-4 SENATOR-AT-LARGE POSITIONS

www.msubillings.edu/asmsub or SUB 213 DEADLINE --1/04/05
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, COME TO THE STUDENT GOVERNMENT OFFICE IN THE STUDENT UNION BUILDING, ROOM 213, OR CALL 657-2365

APPLICATIONS:

Yellowjacket Scoring Machine Bucks Trend

In an era where basketball scores read more and more like football scores and the pundits are declaring that the 18 plus foot jump shot is going the way of the dodo bird. The MSU-Billings Yellowjackets are bucking the trend. Since Head Coach Craig Carse took over the program in 1995, the Jackets have routinely being among the top scoring teams in the country averaging more then 90 points a game most years and also consistently place amongst the best in the three point category shooting above 40 percent from behind the stripe. Why is MSU-Billings different? Carse theorizes that there are two primary reasons for the Jackets scoring success. He says, the intensity of our practices, as well as our offensive scheme, separates us from most, if not all, the rest of the teams in the nation. MSU-B practices every day when not playing or traveling. The practices last approximately twoand-half-hours, beginning with a half hour of stretching and ending with 10 minutes of wind sprints. In between the squad runs a series of drills designed to cover the entire offensive and defensive playbooks, with an emphasis placed on making sure each player is performing at the same level he would during a game. On top of that anytime the Jackets practice more than two days before a game the entire practice is conducted with each player wearing 20 pound weight vests. I have observed a lot of teams and their practice habits, says Carse, and I can confidently say that in terms of energy and physicality we do more in the first hour of practice than the rest do in their entire routines. As important as how much or how hard one practices is for success what is being practiced is just as crucial. That is where the unique and complex offensive scheme run by MSU-B comes into play. According to Carse, the key to his system is for everybody knowing not just where he goes when we run a certain set, but where each of the other four guys on the floor go. Because when our system is running at its best our guys move off each other as a unit and are always in position to get a good shot off or set up another guy to get one. So far this year, the Jackets appear to be keeping pace with the standards set by previous teams. In the first four games of the 200405 campaign the Jackets are averaging exactly 100 points per game, scoring 107 against Minot State, 88 and 104 in games against Ohio Valley, and 101 against Chadron State. The Jackets high flying offense will next be on display Dec. 17 when they play host to Northwest Nazarene. The Crusaders visit will kick off a four game holiday homestead that also includes two games against St. Leo University on Dec. 20 and 21 and a New Years Eve tilt with Haskell Indian Nations University. Tip-off for all four games at Alterowitz Gym is scheduled for 8 p.m.
Justin Hassell takes a 3-point shot during a game against OVC. Photo by Megan Sturlaugson.

Why

So

Blue:
into doing my interview in the computer lab. Yeah, great setting. Now come on, thats no way to treat a visitor with a valid pass, and a student to check in with. Luckily for the residents of Petro Hall, you were all protected with the fail safe Dennis Elliott protocol. I mean all the employees were trained and knew what to do in case I showed up. The best part is, I wasnt denied access because I wasnt a student or because I had a gun or something logical. Oh no, I was denied because of something I wrote about a month ago on a particular floor in another building. Either way, I got the interview, with Im sure at this point, a confused Mike Clark. Who: Mike Clark DE: Where from?/Where now? MC: Medicine Lake, Montana, seventh floor, Petro Hall. DE: Oh, isnt that where the highest recorded temperature for Montana was recorded? MC: Yeah, 117F. DE: Why MSU-B? MC: Vocational for HVAC, or Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning. DE: Do you think college kids read The Retort? MC: No, maybe 10-15 percent only. DE: (Internal dialogue) No wonder they cant afford to pay me. Do you think it is okay to make fun of a school you pay to go to? MC: Absolutely, within reason. DE: Grade the School: MC: Its gets an A for the program and a D for the dorms, so I guess a C average. DE: If you were a writer and someone (with no sense of humor) wrote a negative review, would you care? MC: I wouldnt take it personally, just as constructive criticism. DE: (Internal dialogue) Well, thats one way to deal with a letter to the editor. How many times a day does the average person think about the weather? MC: Five. DE: Is that an average persons answer? MC: Yes, I would think so. DE: (Internal dialogue) Hey man, you said it. Are you excited for the holidays? What are your plans? Any special memories of the family during holiday season? MC: Yes, I remember going snowmobiling and hunting. That was always fun.

Who

Asked

You?

The actual title for this article is: The Last Installment for Those Who Hate Me and a Gracious Passing for Those With a Sense of Humor. My editor said it was too long for big print, so I shrunk it. I hope you get the point of the title. Well, if not, then youre probably glad this is the farewell to MSU-B edition. Thats right, its official! Some people are upset with a previous Dorm Daze article. I received my first Non-Positive Account of a Travesty. Overwhelming Livid Person thought that in some way I offended these girls on the fifth floor. Or did I offend him? Possibly, well I guess likely, because he wrote in about my lack of professionalism and blah blah blah; who asked him? Please understand for a second that I write for a college newspaper, and thus opinion can be used to prove a point. It is here that my entire Dorm Daze is based. I am not asking you to like it, only read it. In fact, I dont even care if you read it. Thats right, stop now and move to someone elses article. There are many other great writers at The Retort. Say it out loud even, I dont have to waste my time reading this crap. Whew! Got rid of those unhappy bastards for now. Its all clear sailing, we got a good wind, I think well ride it out. It does seem that I push the literary limits from time to time, but I couldnt color between the lines either, so apparently there is a pattern of antisocial behavior. Really, what fun would it be if we all colored inside the lines? It would be 1984 all over again, thats how much not-fun it would be (Orwell, sophomore, highschool, coming back yet?). I did actually interview someone, so this article does actually have a purpose, as opposed to last time where I only filibustered. I had the article with Student Health Services, so because I was close to Petro already, I figured why not interview someone from there? I had my press pass, that is a picture ID and essentially states that I wont rape and murder people and everything, but apparently the housing department hires correctional officers to run the program. I encountered Persons Angry about a mis-understanding from the Last Article. I was not allowed to lurk and prowl the hallways of your housing building. Even when I produced a credible Petro resident to check in with, I was still denied. I was forced

DE: Will America still be a country in four years? MC: Of course. DE: Sum up the next four years. MC: Economy slowly increasing, war will not be over, although the next four will be better than the last four. That was all I had for the kid. I threw everything at him, including the kitchen sink, but he hung in there and answered like a pro. We did the best we could in a computer lab, thanks again Petro staff. I have had many great times staying up late working on these articles, but its 5 a.m., so I think Ill go to bed and finish tomorrow. Aahh, yes a good night sleep. Well, I have returned only to put the cap on the final Dorm Daze. I had a good run. The Retort staff gave me tremendous flexibility in the stories I chose and the way in which I approached them. These double Ds have been the most fun by far. I am kind of sad it has to end. It was so much fun touring the campus finding unsuspecting students to be the center of a swirl of literary gobble-dee-goo. The students were unharmed, and yet a small outrage on campus ensued anyway. So what if I snuck inside the dorms to get a story. I think the housing people are upset because I published their shortcomings. The bottom line is that they are the ones who need improvement. After the initial sneak in I provided a press pass and then the housing people still couldnt get it right. Dont blame me for your own inadequacies. I just wanted to speak with students comfortably on their floors. Yeah and did you catch Mikes answer to the grading of the dorms? Yeah, he said you guys suck too. To the people working in the food services part, its not your fault, Emeril couldnt make that low grade crap tasty. The employees seem to be friendly and helpful. Maybe housing could learn a lesson from them. I mean its not the

housing departments fault the dorms suck; they were built to be small and prison-like. Trust me, people already dont want to be stuck in their cells, so having a bad attitude while you manage that prison really doesnt help. I mean food services can sell shit with a smile, why cant you? And dont waste your time sending letters to our already stressed editor, because Im graduating and thus will never get to fully appreciate the anger in your letters. The Bill of Rights protects any and all things I say, like I said before, I love Merica. So when you, (housing department) denied my civil liberties to freedom of press, you opened yourself up for some freedom of press. To all of you people who have a sense of humor and can take a joke, I thank you and appreciate the nice comments you have given me from time to time. The sun has set and the winds are down, I cant believe we sailed this far. With no literary life to live for, I must throw myself from the ship, breaking the string of preposterous notions set forth in previous articles. Man overboard!! was the last thing I heard before I hit the water. Hopefully, the sharks come soon to clean up this mess.

Mike Clark, resident of seventh floor, Petro Hall. Photo by Dennis Elliott

Dear Editor, My experience taking personal finance 201, 202, and 203 with Mr. Gary Amundson has been awesome. I have been able to use practical application from the information I learned from class. One example is, that I learned about the hidden parts of credit card statements and charges. Because of some past financial problems, I didnt think I would have a chance at getting a home loan for years to come. Mr. Amundson had a guest speaker come in to speak to our class about home loans. Sandy Wong from Countrywide Home Loans was so helpful! She offered a free credit report and when I received the results just a few days later, I found out that my credit wasnt so bad after all! I was pre-approved for a home loan and called Ginny Jensen from Century 21. The next thing I knew was I found a perfect condo that allowed me to downsize to. I was also able to sell my home quickly and December 20 will be my closing date for both properties. Now I will be able to save approximately $200 a month in living expenses and not have to worry about taking care of outside maintenance. The personal finance class has been about investing. Today, Mr. Amundson had the class meet him at Piper Jaffrey where we learned more about investing. I discovered that I dont need to wait until I have a large amount of money to start investing. Now I plan on using some of the money I will save in housing to start on my investments. Just by paying myself first now, I will be able to have a more comfortable retirement later. By using practical application of the knowledge gained from this class, my life has changed for the better. I recommend this class to

everyone!.Thank Amundson!

you

Mr.

Charlotte York

Dear Editor, I was very happy to see the story on me in the 8 November edition of the Retort. Modesty prevents me from judging whether my students adore me or whether my classes are interesting and fun, but generally I found the article was accurate and (undeservedly) positive. Nonetheless, I feel obligated to point out to you and your readers a number of errors in the article. First, theres a C in my last name and a J in my first name. Prof. Frigugliettis name was short a G and an I, too. Studying in Berlin piqued my interest in European history, and I now teach World Civilizations. More importantly, I am not a professor (and there is no History Department either, but that is another complicated subject). I am a University Lecturer. The differences between the various academic titles of the teachers at MSU-B may seem arcane or insignificant, but how the university hires and retains faculty (or fails to do so) is very, very important and should be of great interest to students. Now that your article has broached the topic, I think you owe it to your readers to explain this complicated subject. Professors are full-time, permanent faculty members; they are the university. It is the scholarship (articles and books) that professors produce which

lend the university legitimacy as an institution of higher learning, and it is the service (committee work) that they perform that keeps the university running. Eight years ago there were seven professors of history at MSU-B. In the last eight years, one history professor after another has left MSU-B, none have been hired, and there are now only three professors of history left. As nice as it might be to think that I am a breath of fresh air here, I regret that hiring me was not the reversal of this trend, but rather the continuation of it. Instead of replacing departing professors with new professors, the administration of this university has systematically hired temporary and part-time faculty (lecturers and instructors) to teach history. The significance of this for the readership of The Retort is that the failure of this university to hire new professors has directly impacted their education (and not just in history, either), whether they realize it or not. Most history courses at MSU-B are taught not by professors but by part-time or temporary faculty (most other subjects at MSU-B are the same, or worse). Temporary and parttime faculty teach more courses for less pay than do professors (which is why the administration likes to hire them), but they are not held to the same standards as professors, and they do not have the same stake in the university as professors. The administrations program of skimping on faculty has saved the university money, but only at the cost of sacrifices in

the quality of classroom instruction. Perhaps even worse, this trend is insidiously undermining the academic integrity of the university by decimating the intellectual community here and diminishing the prestige of the university (and the value of a MSU-B degree). Furthermore, the frequent failure to hire any new faculty as professors have departed has meant that there are fewer courses offered and that the student-to-faculty ratio has risen precipitously. This means that students receive less personal attentions from faculty, that classes are larger (especially sections of survey courses), and that in several areas of study there are simply no courses offered at all (have you seen any courses on the history of Africa or Asia at MSU-B lately?). There is a glimmer of hope. The administration has committed to hiring a new full time, tenure track professor of history when Prof. Norton Moses retires next summer. Of course this will only leave us right where we are now, with three professors teaching history. A real breath of fresh air would be a commitment to having the teaching at MSU-B done by professors, not by temporary and part time faculty. Ben Marschke University Lecturer *Note to Readers: For more information regarding explanations and definitions of various faculty titles, please see article on page 8: What is a Professor Anyway?

Sporkman

By Dan Hansen

Ill

be

Home

for

White

Christmas

Snow blanketed the streets and sidewalks of the little town, dusting the garlands and wreaths draped across Main Street, and clinging to the rail lining the far side of the sidewalk. The biting air stung my cheeks and burned my throat as I inhaled deeply. Steam thick and white billowed from my nostrils as I exhaled, lifting a bottle of slushy Code Red Mountain Dew to my lips. Across the street, the senior citizen high rise was aglow with Christmas lights. Fully adorned Christmas trees were visible in a handful of windows. Down the street to the north, the First National Bank of Milaca stood in the midst of the plowed snow banks, the brightest building in town. With its marble pillars lining the front it resembled something from the North Pole. Next to the old grain mill behind it was the oldest building in town. It was always the most lavishly decorated business at Christmas time. After all, they could afford it. The garland lining the blue upper wall of Olsens Supervalu never made it to Christmas Day without falling off at one point or another. Now it hung haphazardly from a few remaining spots on the wall. I sat in my car, a decrepit 91 Mercury, letting it warm up before taking it out onto the highway and heading home. It was Christmas Eve, and I knew everyone would be waiting for me to get home before opening presents. The pop bottle slipped in my gloved hand, and I gripped it tighter as a car turned into the lane. Taking a last sip, I screwed the cap back on and set the bottle aside. I was procrastinating, I knew, and I made no effort to fight the hesitation. I didnt want to leave the beautiful calm of this winter night. The moon shown brightly overhead. No clouds obscured it. If it werent for the lights of town the stars would be shining brightly. On the radio, KOOL 108 out of Minneapolis/St. Paul, Christmas songs played as they had played since the day after Thanksgiving. It was the umpteenth time they had played Bing Crosbys White Christmas in the last month, and I was half tempted to reach down and turn it off. Glancing down the street, I saw the town as it had looked at this same time every year since I could remember and beyond. Tradition is a strange practice that mankind will still follow even when rebelling

against it. Nothings new under the sun, Id been told once. Christmas, New Years, the holidays at the end of every year were the few days that were the exact same from one year to the other. What was it like I wondered, for the buildings, and trees, and cars, and street lamps that saw only the passage of time, and for whom time is the only existence. My hand found the wheel and I shifted the wagon into gear, pulling into the vacant street and following the rutted snow to the corner. How many people had driven down this same street in the last century and a half? How many more would pass this way and move on, not realizing the mark, no matter how small, that theyve made on this of so many towns across the globe. As I drove on I saw the familiar road ahead, basking in the glow of its street lamps and the silvery moonlight above. Up on a hill, east of Highway 36, St. Marys, the only Catholic church in town, had erected a life-size nativity set. Though the partially frosted window, the moon cast its celestial glow over the manger, and for a split second I glimpsed the past as it had possibly been two millennia ago. Further on down the road, the Peterson kid had assembled a snowman with a top hat and a corncob pipe and button nose. As I passed, I could have sworn that Frosty waved with a twinkle in his eye. As Highway 36 merged with Highway 169, the open road and blanketed fields lay flat and benign under the bright moonlight. The swamp sparkled with tiny snow crystals as I crept down the dirt road toward home. Strings of Christmas lights twinkled in the windows as I pulled into the driveway. For a moment I wondered how many more homecomings were in the future, just as The Carpenters Ill be Home for Christmas played softly on the radio. I parked in front of the pole shed we called a garage. The snow groaned under my feet as I stepped out of the wagon and pushed the door shut. Crossing the calf-deep snow in the yard, I halted at a distant sound. So faint as to be subliminal, I could have sworn it was the sweet, chiming clink of sleigh bells. Glancing up at the silver, white moon, I spied a shadow pass in front of it, a shadow that resembled reindeer and a sleigh. And on the winter wind, I could swear I heard the hearty cry of Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!

Merry Christmas to all, and all a good night Photo by Tove Bornes

* * * *

APPLICATIONS ARE NOW BEING ACCEPTED FOR THE FOLLOWING 2005-2006 SCHOOL YEAR POSITIONS

* * * *

ASMSU-B Retort Editor ASMSU-B Business Manager ASMSU-B Student Activities Board Chair ASMSU-B Political Action Director ASMSU-B Student Resolution Officer/Public Relations

Each of these positions receives a stipend. The amount of the stipends vary, depending upon the position. Applications at: www.msubillings.edu/ asmsub or SUB 213. Deadline to apply is Friday, February 25th at 5:00 p.m.

Editors Notebook: Join the Madness, Join the Retort

Hi, my name is Jed and, in case you did not know, I am editor in chief of the Retort- your student newspaper and the very publication you are reading right now. I would like to address some of the common misconceptions about what it takes to work for this particular college newspaper and then perhaps convince you to possibly join our happy little band of miscreants, neer-do-wells, and troublemakers on our never-ending quest to inform, entertain, and enlighten our campus about the issues, trends, and concerns that affect our every day lives. So with out further ado everything you might want to know about working for the Retort but were afraid to ask. Potential Staffer: Do I have to be of a certain major to write for the retort? No, unlike some other schools where the newspaper is the province of a journalism or communications department. the Retort has all sorts of different majors on our staff. I, myself, am a history major. Some other majors represented on our current staff are marketing, mass communication, English, secondary education, drafting, and environmental science. In the past we have had people who majored in elementary education, nursing, human services, automotive technology, and accounting ,amongst other things. PS: Do I need prior newspaper experience? While it would be nice, we know that it is unrealistic (especially when we live in a state where not all of the high schools have newspapers and we go to a university where people come to us from all walks and at all stages of life) to expect that everyone who wants to help out has some experience. PS: Are there any prerequisite classes to take before joining the Retort? No, we are more then willing to help you learn the ropes as you go along, but if drilling with live ammo is not your style and you have room in your schedule our advisor, Nancy Swanson teaches a class called Media Writing each semester that is a wonderful introduction to journalism in general and newspaper writing in particular. If you want to sign up the formal listing for the course is COMT 222 Section 001: Media Writing. PS: You have told me what I dont need what do I need to work for the Retort? Okay get a pencil and paper are you ready? Good here we go. What you need to work for the Retort 1. You need to be able to read and write the English language. 2. You need to be able to meet deadlines. 3. You need to be able to put in whatever time necessary to get the job done. 4. You need to be a team player. 5. You need to have a sense of humor. 6. You need to not be easily rattled by the apparent insanity of your co-workers. 7. You need to be able to attend at least one meeting a week (if you have class or a job we usually can make accommodations). 8. You need to be able to generate ideas for articles that will interest your fellow students. 9. You need to not be afraid of controversial topics and situations. 10. Last, but certainly not least, you need to be willing to do all this and more for little or no pay. PS: Little or no pay? The Retort currently has only nine paid positions, most of whom make in the neighborhood of $100 to $200 a month. We rely heavily on volunteer writers and photographers to bring the school the news. PS: How many articles would I have to write per issue? Usually people write somewhere between one and three articles. Occasionally some overachiever will do as many as five. What it comes down to is that the more people we have on staff the less work every body has to do. PS: Alright you convinced me I am ready to join. What do I do? 1. Come to our first meeting of the spring 2005 semester Thursday January 20th at 2:30 p.m. in the Rimrock Hall Conference Room. 2. If you cant make the meeting a. Stop by our office any day school is in session and speak to the editor-in-chief. I am usually in the office between noon and 5 p.m. b. Call 657-2194 and ask to speak to the editor-in-chief or leave a message. c. Send an e-mail to retort@msubillings.edu. d. If you see me or any other staffer in the hall or in class, ask us about the Retort. Thank you for your attention. Enjoy your break and I hope to see at least some of you on our staff next semester.

Masters in Public Administration

Trying to find a career in state or local government? Dont know how to break into the nonprofit world? A Masters Degree in Public Administration at Montana State University-Billings can help. The Masters in Public Administration degree will prepare you for a leadership role in state and local government, and non-profit organizations. The M.P.A. will help to distinguish you in a competitive field with a growing demand. Applicants will find a flexible program with evening classes and online learning. Admission is rolling and MSU-B Graduates incur no application fee. For more information, contact Dr. Cathy Grott at 657-2279 or cgrott@msubillings.edu or Jackie Christiansen at 657-2238.

!!!

STUDENTS

!!!

MSU-B Foundation Phonathon

Earn Money WIN Prizes Play Games Free Food

Wanted: Enthusiastic students to call alumni to ask for support of the University! Earn $6.50 to $7.50 an hour.

Call 657-2245 for more information!

New Scholarship Deadline for 2005/2006 February 1, 2005 Students interested in applying for institutional scholarships and who will be attending MSU-Billings for academic year 2005/2006, need to complete the Scholarship Application for Currently Enrolled or Returning MSU-Billings Students. Applications are available in the Office of Financial Aid and Scholarships located in McMullen Hall, Room 103 or online at www.msubillings.edu/finaid/ forms.htm. The completed application, along with all references and essays, must be received by the Office of Financial Aid and Scholarships no later than 5:00 pm on February 1, 2005.

Mud pies and Make-Believe Looking for someone to help us play, grow and learn! Im 3, all girl, busy and bright. My little brother is 4 months old and doesnt do much. We both keep my mom really busy and she needs some help! Itll be for just a couple of hours a day, two to four times a week. We can even work around your school schedule. If you want to play with us, please call my mom, Jennifer, at 245-4706. Pay is dependent upon experience. Some previous childcare experience would be great, because Im testing my boundaries!

FIND OUR WEEKLY MENU OR GIVE US YOUR FEEDBACK AT WWW.MSUBILLINGS.EDU/DINING

CAMPUS DINING SERVICES WOULD LIKE TO WISH EVERYONE A SAFE, HAPPY, & HEALTHY HOLIDAY SEASON! WE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU IN THE NEW YEAR!

Cellular Phone and Satellite TV Service

Ali Karbassi is now a sales rep for Cellular One and DISH network. Please call for questions or assistance any time

861-6533

Draw the Line

By Dennis Elliott
Sickness, sadness, hatred, and pride All we have, for all those died. Legs, lives, kneecaps, and skullcaps, Peel back media, and find sad traps. More will die, on both sides, No winner or loser, just a political un-user. Attack move, attack move, attack, How many doctors does it take to put the brains back? Three apparently, but tainted halfway through our stay, We point fingers; we point guns, and look at the bodies lay. Boil, oil, toil, and fumble, Mess this up, and America might crumble. Spread the world, the Yankees are a comin, His country, your country, or they might be next, Boundaries dont mean shit to a man who reads only text. Freedom haters beware, America hates you, Ill bet you cant wait for your kids to turn blue. So be angry at me for sounding unpatriotic, Show me weapons of mass destruction, and Ill be sympathetic. Probably not still, for it was not Einsteins intention to kill. Yet, here we are, push the button and there we were. No, no, not us, we would never push first, Just burn all the bridges, then line up their hearse. Give them no options, make their lives like ours, Stress, consumption, waste, consumption, nothing left, for all we scour. Take their resources, take their pride, Understand them and try not to hide. The truth from yourselves, cause youre the soothsayer, Put it together, that he is a slayer. Strip down his smugness, and power, See his malice and approach in the final hour. Shock and Awe, so he can smirk and call, Daddy, daddy look at them all fall.

Take a look at some pictures of our beautiful state of Montana and remember why we love it so much here. Photos taken and edited by Niki Porter.

The Palisades located south of Red Lodge.

Lake McDonald in western Glacier National Park.

A mountain scene in Glacier National Park