EXT.

FAIRYWORLD - DAY

We see JORGEN'S PIZZA AND DUCK-ZOOKA PARLOR. PUSH IN TO:

INT. JORGEN'S PIZZA AND DUCK-ZOOKA PARLOR - CONTINUOUS

FAIRIES eat pizza in this "Chuck E. Cheese-meets-Germany" themed

restaurant and game room. TIMMY sits at a table with COSMO, WANDA
and POOF (in a high-chair).

TIMMY
Thanks for bringing me to Fairy World
guys. I've been wanting to try the cuisine
at Jorgen's Pizza and Duck-zooka Parlor
for a long time.

COSMO AND WANDA

Duck!

They all duck as a DUCK is shot over their heads and sticks into the
wall! <QUACK-SPLAT!> PAN OVER to the game room door. TWO
FAIRIES hold smoldering DUCK-ZOOKAS which are bazooka-type things
with DUCKS loaded in them.

FAIRIES #1 AND #2
Sorry.

BACK TO TIMMY'S TABLE

WANDA
Well, I like it a lot better than his "Skunk-
zooka" parlor.

TIMMY
Cool! And if the Duck-zooka action is this
good, I bet the pizza is going to be
amazing!

JORGEN - wearing an apron - kicks open the kitchen door and arrives
at the table holding a dangerous-looking PIZZA.

JORGEN
You're duck-tooting it is! Behold. My new
"Pain-Lovers Pizza!" Piled high with
barbed wire and sand bags! Try a piece!
 TIMMY
Uh, do I have to?

JORGEN
YES!

Timmy takes a bite and <KABOOM!> It explodes!

JORGEN (CONT'D)
The "Land-mine-stuffed-crust" gives it
extra zip! It's a no-man's-land of flavor!

TIMMY
Y'know once you get past the seared
flesh, it's actually pretty good.

JORGEN
Would you say it's the "Greatest Pizza in
the Universe"?

<WHAM!> The front door kicks open and HP and SANDERSON enter.

HP
Don't answer that Turner. Not until you
try our new creation...

WANDA
Oh, here we go again.

<QUACK-SPLAT!> Sanderson is knocked OS by a duck. HP arrives and

opens a BRIEFCASE with a MONEY-COVERED PIZZA inside.

HP
Behold, the "Money Lovers" Pizza. It's the
pizza that pays you back!

They shove a bite in Timmy's mouth. Smoke shoots from his ears! His
eyes spin like slots then land on "$" signs!

TIMMY
Cough! Gak! Hack!

<KA-CHING> his mouth opens and GOLD COINS spill out! Cosmo
catches the coins in his shirt.

COSMO
(Pulls out dice)
Jackpot!
 HP
Now tell me that's not better than
Jorgen's slice of pure rabbit droppings.

<WHAM!> The door kicks open. ANTI-COSMO and ANTI-WANDA enter.

<QUACK-SPLAT!> Anti-Wanda is knocked OS by a duck.

ANTI-COSMO
Don't say a word Timmy Turner! Not until
you try -

AC brings Timmy a surprisingly normal-looking pizza.

ANTI-WANDA
- our "Friday the 13th-Lovers" Pizza! Try a
bite.

TIMMY
Guys really, after the mouth fire and gold
barf, I'm - (gulp!)

They shove a piece of pizza in his mouth.

ANTI-COSMO
It's the Pizza that gives you bad luck!

An ANVIL falls on Timmy, <CRASH>, then a SAFE then a PIANO!

JORGEN
Turner! Tell them that pizza made by
fairies is the best in the universe!

ANTI-COSMO
No! Tell Jorgen that Anti-fairy pizza is the
best in the universe!

They all start arguing as other FAIRIES, PIXIES and ANTI-FAIRIES join in.

JORGEN/AC/HP/OTHERS
No mine/tell them Turner!/Don't make
me use this!/Bring it on!

EXT. JORGEN'S PIZZA PARLOR - it explodes!! <KA-BOOM!!!>

BACK INSIDE - CHARRED DUCKS fall from the sky. Everyone's charred
and smoldering. Wanda and Cosmo wield DUCK-ZOOKAS.

WANDA
 BACK OFF! Timmy's tired of being the
guinea pig in your "Who's the best in the
universe" contests!

COSMO
And you know what we're talking about!

FLASHBACK MONTAGE - EXT. A VERY HIGH BRIDGE - DAY

Jorgen, HP and Anti-Cosmo all stand on the bridge. They are all
strapped to BUNGEE CORDS. Jorgen yells down:

JORGEN
Now tell us who the best bungee- jumper
in the universe is!

ON TIMMY - looking up. They all fall onto Timmy, driving him into the
ground!! <WHAM!!>

TIMMY
AAAAGH!!!

EXT. - A RODEO ARENA - DAY

Jorgen, HP and Anti-Cosmo wear COWBOY HATS and sit on HORSES.

ANTI-COSMO
Now, tell us who the best calf-ropin'
cowboy in the universe is!

A gate opens and Timmy - wearing COW-HORNS strapped to his head -

dashes into the arena like a scared calf.

TIMMY
AAAGH!

They all ride out and quickly HOGTIE Timmy!

INT. - A DRESS SHOP

Jorgen, HP and Anti-Cosmo all model DRESSES for Timmy.

HP
Now tell us who the prettiest is!

TIMMY
AAAAGH!
 JORGEN/AC/HP
I'm the prettiest!/No me!/Me.

They hold up their wands and cell phones and...

EXT. DRESS SHOP - <KABOOM!> It explodes!

END FLASHBACK: BACK TO INT. JORGEN'S PIZZA PARLOR

JORGEN
But Wanda, Timmy's not a Fairy, Pixie or
an Anti-fairy, which makes him the
perfect judge.

COSMO
Well, what about an Anti-Fairy Godchild?
Go blow up their mouth.
(ROLLS DICE)
Come on SNAKE EYES!

ANTI-COSMO
We don't have godchildren. We're the
opposite of fairies, remember?
(sobs)
Oh, why can't I have a godchild!

HP
And I'm surrounded by Pixies who tell me
what I want to hear all day.
Watch...who's the greatest?

ALL PIXIES
You are sir.

HP
Suck-ups.

TIMMY
Fine! You really want to know which of
you is the greatest in the universe? Then
we'll find out the way we do it on earth...

COSMO
Go on a reality game show where we're
forced to eat each other on a deserted
island?

TIMMY
 No! We're gonna get everyone on a level
playing field and test their strength,
endurance, and ability to look good in
tight stretchy pants cuz' it's time for the
first ever FAIRY WORLD GAMES!

<QUACK-SPLAT!> Timmy is accidentally knocked OS by a duck!

COSMO
Sorry.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. FAIRYWORLD STADIUM - DAY - LATER

"THE FAIRY WORLD GAMES" BANNER flies. On it are 5 CONNECTED

STARS like the Olympic symbol. Stadium <CHEERING> abounds.

INT. FAIRYWORLD STADIUM ANNOUNCER BOOTH - SAME

Timmy - in a SPORTS JACKET - helms the announcer booth.

TIMMY (TO CAMERA)

Welcome, everyone, to the first ever
Fairy World Games! Timmy Turner here,
along with my partner, Olympic figure-
skating gold-medalist, Scott Hamilton!

PULL WIDE to include SCOTT HAMILTON. He looks a bit confused.

SCOTT
Where am I? How did I get here?

TIMMY
You're in a dream! Roll with it.
(back to camera)
And today we'll bring you exciting
coverage of what's sure to be a
momentous and magical competition.

Scott, confused, pokes the desk and Timmy with his finger.

SCOTT
It doesn't feel like a dream...

TIMMY
 It is, so start announcing, Announcer
Boy!!

Scott snaps to and looks at the camera professional-like.

SCOTT
Uh, well, I...here come the teams!

DOWN IN THE STADIUM

Music trumpets as the PARADE OF TEAMS arrive! Anti-Cosmo holds A

BLACK FLAG as the ANTI-FAIRY TEAM marches in. They throw BLACK
CATS to the audience.

SCOTT (CONT'D)
First up, the anti-fairies! Who are looking
awfully evil today.

Then, HP arrives holding a "$" FLAG for the PIXIE TEAM. They hold
BRIEFCASES above their heads then flip them over, forming a big
picture of a DOLLAR BILL!

TIMMY
And here come the Pixies! A formidable
foe with a ton of dough.
And here comes the fairies! Uh...I
mean...fairy?

Jorgen marches alone holding the FAIRY TEAM FLAG. He waves.

JORGEN
Yes! I'm great! I know! I walk among you
in equal...not really.

BACK ON TIMMY AND SCOTT IN THE BOOTH

TIMMY
Hey, why is Jorgen all alone? I
mean...let's go down to Wanda in the
stands for more on this story!

ON WANDA - in the stands holding a MIC.

WANDA
Hi Timmy, it's Wanda here in the stands.
It's a known fact that Jorgen is an ego-
maniac and won't let any of us other
fairies participate in these games!
ON JORGEN - grabs the mic from Wanda and looks into camera.

JORGEN
That is because I am the only fairy with
any athletic ability who looks good in
stretchy pants. So, only I can win.

ON COSMO - in the stands with the other fairies.

COSMO
Hey I can win! I'm great at sports.
Watch!

Cosmo POOFS up a TENNIS RACQUET AND A BALL. He throws the ball

up, swings, misses, and whacks his head off his neck!

IN THE ANNOUNCER BOOTH - Cosmo's head lands on the desk in front

of Timmy and Scott. (Fear not - it's very cartoony).

COSMO (CONT'D)
Maybe Jorgen's right. Back to you Timmy
and Scott!

SCOTT
Why am I having this dream?

TIMMY
Because I need a famous gold medal co-
host, and Brian Boitano was busy. Okay!
NOW, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

Jorgen shoots an energy blast out of his wand which shoots across the
stadium and lights the Olympic torch!

FLAMING WIPE TO:

ON THE ATHLETIC FIELD

We see a huge DRAGON. Timmy and Scott walk up next to it.

TIMMY
Our first event is a test of strength and
flame resistance!

Scott Hamilton holds up a FORK and looks at it curiously.

SCOTT
 If this is a dream, I can eat this fork and
not croak, right?

TIMMY
Yeah, but don't do that.

SCOTT
Okay. Let's see who takes home the gold
medal in: "Dragon Lifting!"

A GIANT DRAGON sits on the field. Anti-Cosmo plus 3 ANTI-FAIRIES

grab and try to lift it's tail, but the Dragon smashes them with it's tail.
<WHAM!!>

TIMMY (V.O.)
Oooh, bad luck for the Anti-fairies. And
the Pixies...

HP and 4 PIXIE-HELPERS try and lift the dragon, but the Dragon leans
down and fire breathes them away! <FWOOSH!>

TIMMY (CONT'D)
...just got fired!

SCOTT
It doesn't look like anyone can win this
competition. But wait!

The Dragon is then lifted off the ground...by Jorgen!! He holds it with
one hand!

JORGEN
Ha-ha!!! I win!

A FAIRY OFFICIAL puts A GOLD MEDAL STAR around Jorgen's neck!

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Looks like I'll be draggin' around a bunch
of gold medals today. Get it? Dragon?
Ha! Even my sense of humor is pure
gold!

Timmy leans in smiling with his microphone.

TIMMY
No it's not. Now it's time for "Rainbow
Jumping!"
AT THE RAINBOW JUMP!

(Think "ski jump" only with a rainbow) Jorgen skis down and sails off
the jump majestically, flies through the air, lands perfectly and stops.
Sticking out of the ground next to him are the feet of Pixies and Anti-
Fairies (they are stuck head first in the ground). Jorgen gets another
medal!

ON TIMMY AND SCOTT

TIMMY (CONT'D)
And Jorgen wins! Again!

SCOTT
And I'm gonna try to wake up.

Scott picks A SKI off a BURIED ANTI-FAIRY. <Wha-kang!> Scott hits

himself with the ski, repeatedly.

TIMMY
Now off to the "North Pole Vault!"

ON THE NORTH POLE - (A CANDY STRIPED POLE IN THE SNOW)

<WHAM!> Anti-Cosmo VAULTS in and hits it. <WHAM!> HP VAULTS in

and hits it. <WHAM!> Jorgen VAULTS over it (with ease) and lands on
the winner's stage, where he gets another medal!

ON ANOTHER WINNER'S STAGE - Jorgen gets another medal then

another, then another, then has 5 medals around his neck!!

BACK ON TIMMY AND SCOTT HAMILTON

Scott is still whacking himself.

TIMMY (CONT'D (CONT'D)

...and after 5 events, it's Jorgen and the
fairies 5, everyone else 0!

Scott stops whacking himself.

SCOTT
I just can not wake up from this dream.
Okay, I'm just gonna go with this dream
like you said. So whaddya say Timmy,
let's go down to the field to see what
those freaky floaty people are doing!
ON A SCOREBOARD: it's Fairies 5, the rest 0.

BACK IN THE STADIUM - Jorgen walks over to a pile of twisted, hurt and
athletically challenged Anti-fairies and Pixies. He pulls HP and Anti-
Cosmo out of a sand pit.

JORGEN
Ha! Why don't you puny losers just give
up and admit that FAIRIES ARE THE BEST
IN THE UNIVERSE!

HP
Never!

ANTI-COSMO
And we have a plan for victory. So,
prepare to lose, Jorgen.

JORGEN
Prepare for me to walk away laughing
while my gold medals clink together and
mock your weakness.

Jorgen walks away <laughing> to a lot of <clinking>.

HP
So what's your plan?

ANTI-COSMO
We're going to cheat!

HP
Same here. Word.

They bump fists.

ON TIMMY with his microphone. He interviews Jorgen.

TIMMY
Jorgen, now that you've proven how
great you are, how about giving some
other fairies a chance to compete in the
games.

JORGEN
Hmmm, let me think Turner. Okay done -
NEVER! Now, where was I? Oh yes,
laughing and clinking. Ha ha!
Jorgen does some stretches as HP and ANTI-COSMO (dressed as girls)
come up holding a CAMERA.

ANTI-COSMO
(girly voice)
Excuse me, Mr. Von Strangle? We're two
innocent girls who are your biggest fans.

HP
Would you mind if we took your picture
with this unusually large camera?

JORGEN
Well, seeing as you're both very
unattractive and this would be the
highlight of your lives...okay!

Jorgen poses for a picture. Anti-Cosmo aims the camera...

ANTI-COSMO
Now give us that knock out smile.

JORGEN
Cheese!

<WHA-KANG!> A spring-loaded FRYING PAN shoots out of the camera

and whacks Jorgen in the head and o.s.!!!

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Oooooohhhh....

Jorgen lands right in front of Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda.

COSMO
Hey! It's raining knocked out Jorgens!
Now I can compete in the games!

HP and Anti-Cosmo come in.

HP
You mean lose the games. After all, you
Fairies know you're nothing without
Jorgen.

TIMMY
That's not true! Fairies are amazing, and
they can totally beat you without Jorgen.
 ANTI-COSMO
Oh, really? Care to put your money
where your bucktoothed mouth is?

TIMMY
Bring - It - On.

HP
Okay if the Fairies win, like you say...We'll
do anything you want.

TIMMY
Sounds fair.

ANTI-COSMO
But if the Anti-Fairies win, you
accompany me back to Anti-Fairy World
and be my evil godchild - forever!

TIMMY
Come again?

HP
And if the Pixies win, you will accompany
me back to Pixie World and be my evil
office boy FOREVER!

WANDA
Don't do it Sport, because there is a
good chance we really do stink without
Jorgen.

HP
Yes, don't do it Turner because -

HP/ANTI-COSMO
(crazy chicken clucking) bock-bock-bock-
bock-bock...

TIMMY
You're on!

All the fairies <GASP!>

WANDA
Timmy, that's crazy!

SCOTT
 (Interrupts in A CHICKEN SUIT!) I'm
Commander Kluck-Kluck, king of this
dream!

TIMMY
No! That's crazy, but what's also crazy is
that you guys don't believe you can beat
those idiots.

ON HP AND AC - chicken dancing and <clucking>. Scott enters.

SCOTT
(to HP and AC)
Bow to me! I am your high commander.

TIMMY
And besides, thanks to Jorgen, we have a
5 medal lead! There's no way we can
lose! Now come on, next up is "Magic
Track and Field!"

COSMO
Awesome! I'm great at Track and Field!
Watch!

ON A COURSE OF HURDLES: Cosmo dashes, doesn't jump and runs

into the hurdle. Wham! His head is knocked off, but his body keeps on
running.

COSMO (CONT'D)
Run my headless body! Run!

ON TIMMY AND WANDA.

WANDA
Okay, now who here knows how to jump
"over" hurdles?

EXT. RUNNING TRACK - HURDLES

SANDERSON, ANTI-WANDA and BINKY are at the starting line. The

starting DUCK-ZOOKAH goes off, and they all fly down the track
jumping over HURDLES. Binky is in the lead!

BINKY
Yeah! I'm winning! I'm winning!
Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof and OTHER FAIRIES watch.

TIMMY
Go, Binky! Yeah! I told you the fairies
would win!

ON ANTI-COSMO IN STANDS: he pulls out his MAGIC WAND.

ANTI-COSMO
Yeah! I'm cheating! I'm cheating!

Anti-Cosmo waves his wand, and one of the hurdles shoots straight up
into Binky's path. He smacks into it, and it snaps back, launching him
into the Olympic torch! <FWOOOPH!>

ON THE FINISH LINE - AC takes the tape! THE CROWD <CHEERS!>

ON THE SCOREBOARD - The Anti-Fairies get one medal!

INT. FAIRYWORLD BOXING RING - CONTINUOUS

The APRIL FOOL gets ready to box. Wanda is his corner-man.

APRIL FOOL
Are you sure about this? I'm much better
with punch lines than punching.

WANDA
Just remember: keep your gloves up and
no hitting below the belt!

REVERSE ON the other corner. HP readies Sanderson by putting GOLD

BARS into his boxing gloves.

HP
Remember: fill your gloves up with gold
bars and hit below the belt!

<DING-DING!> The April Fool hops out of the corner and OS

<KABAM!> He's smashed through the wall, across the stadium and
lands in the Olympic torch! <FWOOSH!>

ON THE SCOREBOARD - The Pixies get a medal!

EXT. CLOUD DIVING CENTER - CONTINUOUS

The CLOUDS are DIVING BOARDS over a GIANT POOL. We see ANTI-
WANDA is on a high diving cloud inside of a CANNON.

ANTI-WANDA
Cannonball!

<BOOM!> She shoots herself into the air, does some aerial acrobatics,
then falls in. <SPLOOOSH!> She soaks the JUDGES who only give her
"1's" and "2's".

ON JUANDISSIMO - on another cloud preparing to dive.

JUANDISSIMO
Ha! Watch me beat those scores by
performing my triple-spinning, mocha-
swirling grande'-latte dive. It will melt
the judges hearts!

Juandissimo dives off the cloud.

ON ANTI-COSMO - in a SUBMARINE under the water.

ANTI-COSMO
Not if we melt you first.

Anti-Cosmo waves his wand and POOF the Olympic torch appears
under Juandissimo. He dives in and <FWOOSH!>

The judges all give Juandissimo "0's".

ON THE SCOREBOARD - The Anti-fairies get another medal! Then the

Scoreboard spins like a slot machine, then faster, until the score is -
Pixies 14, Anti-Fairies 14 and Fairies 5.

Timmy looks up at the scoreboard in disbelief!

TIMMY
Degh! Duh! Dah! Doh!

Scott enters on A DONKEY with A SOMBRERO.

SCOTT
｡Aye Carumba! After 33 events I am
loving my dream, but mi amigo Timmy is
freaking out because the Anti-Fairies and
Pixies are on fire, olé!

PULL WIDE - ALL THE FAIRIES - except for Cosmo - are charred.
 JUANDISSIMO
Hey, we're on fire, too. We're just not
winning.

Timmy dashes over to Jorgen, still unconscious, slaps him.

TIMMY
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

Anti-Cosmo and HP POOF in with OUTFITS for Timmy.

ANTI-COSMO
Hello future evil godchild! Look, I've
already picked you out some evil shorts
for when we go to ball games, go fishing,
AND TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE!

Anti-Cosmo POOFS Timmy into the short-pants outfit.

HP
And I've brought you some evil office
supplies. Look, an evil cell phone that
connects to me directly.

HP gives Timmy the CELL PHONE. It RINGS and Timmy answers.

TIMMY
Hello?

HP
Hi, Timmy.

TIMMY
Ahhhhhh!

SCOTT
Dude, relax. It's just a dream.

FADE OUT - END ACT ONE

ACT TWO - FADE IN

INT. STADIUM - CONTINUOUS

ON THE SCOREBOARD - We see how far behind the fairies are.

 WANDA
Face it Sport, not only do we stink, but
we're going up against the greatest
cheaters in the universe!

COSMO
But, look on the bright side, Timmy. You
have nice knees and can totally pull off
those shorts.

TIMMY
And you guys are gonna win because I'm
your new coach!

JUANDISSIMO
Okay, coach sexy knees, how are we
going to win?

TIMMY
First. I wish these stupid shorts where
gone!

POOF - Timmy is in his underwear.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Second, I wish I had my normal clothes
back! Must I always be so specific!?

POOF - ol' normal dressed Timmy is back.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Third, you're gonna start believing in
yourselves and not what Jorgen says
about you. And fourth, we're gonna beat
those cheaters by un-cheating their
cheating-cheating.

CUPID
What'd he say?

JUANDISSIMO
I think he wants a cheetah.

CUPID
Okay.

Cupid POOFS up a CHEETAH and tosses it on Timmy! It tears him to

shreds!!! Timmy <SCREAMS!>
 WANDA
C'mon, everyone! Timmy's right! Fairies
Rule! Let's do this!! Tight stretchy pants
for everyone!!!

POOF! They're all wearing matching ATHLETIC OUTFITS! They look like
a team now. The fairies all <CHEER!>

INT. ANNOUNCER BOOTH - LATER

Scott Hamilton talks to camera.

SCOTT
The still dreaming, Scott Hamilton here,
reporting that Timmy Turner is now
coaching the Fairy Team! But down by 9
medals with only 10 events left, he'll
need to sweep the gold, or it's back in
evil shorts forever! So, let's go down to
the field cuz' it's time for the "100 Meter
Peppermint Sprint!"

Scott pulls out A BANJO.

SCOTT (CONT'D)
And it's time for me to play this banjo!
(starts playing)
Is this a great dream or what?

ON THE RUNNING TRACK

AC and HP get ready to race on a candy striped track. Timmy arrives

dragging MAMA COSMA with him.

MAMA COSMA
Are you sure you want me to run,
Timmy? It's time for my beauty nap.

TIMMY
And that's what I'm counting on.

A REFEREE fires a Duck-zookah - <QUACK!> - and Anti-Cosmo and HP

take off!! Timmy pulls out an ALARM CLOCK that plays a <lullaby.>
Mama Cosma instantly falls asleep.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
I wish I had a pillow!
Juandissimo flies in and pulls out 3 PILLOWS.

JUANDISSIMO
You want down, cotton or memory foam?
(off Timmy's puzzled look)
What? I take beauty naps, too.

Mama Cosma falls forward. Timmy puts the PILLOW under her head
and her HUGE HAIR falls across the finish line first!

TIMMY
Fairies win!

ON THE SCOREBOARD - DING! The fairies get another medal! Now it's
up to 6!

ON THE FIELD: HP and Anti-Cosmo come up to Timmy.

HP
Nice win, Turner. But enjoy it, because it
will be your last.

ANTI-COSMO
You can't out-smart a cheating cheater
while they cheat!

Cupid comes in.

CUPID
Ugh, you want a cheetah, too? Fine!

Cupid POOFS up another CHEETAH. It attacks HP and ANTI-COSMO.

TIMMY
Next event: "Archery!"

COSMO
Pick me coach! I'm great, watch!

Cosmo POOFS up A BOW AND ARROW. He pulls it back, releases and

<ZHOOMP!> He shoots his head o.s.

TIMMY
Actually, I've got the perfect man for the
job!

EXT. ARCHERY RANGE - LATER

Three ARCHERY TARGETS are lined up. QUICK CUTS as we see: FLUFFY
BIRD WINGS; FLUFFY DIAPERS; and HEART-SHAPED ARROWS. Cupid
steps in next to the Anti-Fairy and Pixies.

CUPID
Stand back and watch the love doctor
operate. NURSE!

A NURSE FAIRY arrives and hands Cupid 3 heart-shaped arrows.

ON: HP and AC holding their bow and arrows.

HP
And watch us perform eye surgery?

Sanderson pulls out a GOLD BAR and reflects the sun into Cupid's
eyes.

CUPID
AH! My corneas!

TIMMY
I need a mirror!

Juandissimo whips out TEN HAND MIRRORS. Timmy grabs one and
reflects the sun-beam back to HP and the Anti-Fairy.

HP/ANTI-FAIRY
Ah! Our corneas!

They bumble and shoot their arrows OS and miss the target.

BACK ON CUPID, EYES CLEARING.

CUPID
Hello, bull's-eye. The doctor will see you
now.

He fires 3 arrows. <THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!> It's a triple bull's-eye!

THE CROWD <CHEERS!>

ON THE SCOREBOARD - DING! The fairies get another medal! Now it's
up to 7! DING! Now it's up to 8! 9! 10! 11! 12! 13!

INT. FAIRYWORLD GYMNASTICS ARENA - LATER

Timmy addresses his team of fairies.

 TIMMY
Time for "Spastic-Fantastic-Gymnastics".
I need a fairy that's nimble and likes to
back flip.

COSMO
Pick me Coach! I can totally flip!

Cosmo does back flips o.s. CRASH. Only his head rolls back.

COSMO (CONT'D)
I'm not sure what just happened.

TIMMY
Okay, anybody else?

ON BABY POOF! He's bouncing around crazy and back flipping.

FLIP WIPE TO:

END OF POMMEL HORSE RUNWAY.

ON TIMMY AND POOF - Poof bounces. Poing! Poing! Poing!

TIMMY
Okay, Poof, no pressure. But if you don't
get perfect 10's, we lose, I become an
office boy, and you won't get this
lollipop! Now go get 'em!

Poof rolls down the runway, bounces off a POMMEL HORSE -

ON THE UNEVEN BARS - Poof's hair curl grabs the high bar. He flips,
then catches the lower bar and flings high, does a double flip, grabs a
trapeze and flips himself o.s.

ON THE FLOOR MAT - Poof tumbles, back flips then springs from his
curls high into the air. He sticks the landing!

ON THE JUDGES: Poof gets straight 10's! THE CROWD <CHEERS>!

ON HP AND SANDERSON

SANDERSON
They gave him perfect 10's.

HP
 Not if we give them a perfect 10 million.

HP opens A CASE full of MONEY. The judge's eyes turn to DOLLAR

SIGNS. They change THE SCORE to straight 0's--<Awwws.>

TIMMY
I need a blow dryer!

Jaundissimo arrives and pulls out 8 BLOW DRIERS.

JAUNDISSIMO
For head, chest or pits?

TIMMY
Cash dismissed!

Like a gunslinger with TWO HAIR DRYERS he fires, blowing all the cash
away. The judges shake the dollar signs away, look peeved, then
change the scores back to perfect 10's! The crowd <CHEERS> again,
and Timmy gives Poof the lollipop.

ON THE SCOREBOARD - The fairies now have 14! It's tied up!

INT. ANNOUNCER BOOTH - LATER

Scott rides up on AN OSTRICH wearing A SUIT OF ARMOR.

SCOTT
Sir Scott Hamilton here leading my
mighty Ostrich Army saying, if this
wasn't a dream, I'd say I was dreaming
because the Fairies have made an
amazing comeback! We're all tied up
with one event left! And the big question
is: can the Pixies and Anti-Fairies still win
against a fairy dream team that seems
unbeatable?

HP and AC arrive, shove Scott OS and take his microphone.

HP
Well, of course we can.

ANTI-COSMO
And soon I will finally prove that Anti-
Fairies are the greatest in the universe!
Then Timmy Turner will become my evil
 godchild!

HP
You mean Pixies are the greatest. And
Turner will be MY evil office boy. I've
even gotten him an evil cubicle.

ANTI-COSMO
Really? Well I got him a duck-zookah.
Let's see if it works!

AC POOFS up a DUCK-ZOOKA and blasts HP o.s <QUACK!> HP comes

back and blasts AC with his cell phone. An argument starts.

HP/ANTI-COSMO
You want some of this?/Bring it on,
meat./Oh no you didn't.

ON TIMMY - WATCHING THE FIGHT ON A MONITOR.

TIMMY
I know how we're gonna beat these guys.
But first, I need the perfect athlete for
this last, tie-breaking event: the
1,000,000 year dash!

COSMO
Ooh! Pick me, Timmy! I'm great racing
through time! Watch!

Cosmo POOFS up a huge GRANDFATHER CLOCK. He dashes toward the

pendulum. BACK ON Timmy and FAIRIES reacting. Cosmo's head rolls
into frame.

TIMMY
Cosmo. You're my man!

The FAIRIES <GASP!> Jorgen wakes up and reacts in shock.

JORGEN
<GASP!> I just had the most horrible
nightmare! I dreamt that the games
were tied up, Scott Hamilton was on an
Ostrich, and Turner picked Cosmo for the
last event! It was so vivid! And you were
there and you were there. But now I shall
resume my role as the only fairy who can
win!
Timmy holds up A CAMERA.

TIMMY
Great! And let's commemorate the event
by taking your picture!

JORGEN
Cheese!

Click! <WHA-PANG!> The frying pan knocks Jorgen out again.

JUANDISSIMO
Timmy, I must say two things. One: I am
incredible to look at. Two: Cosmo over
Jorgen? Are you loco?

WANDA
Hey, Cosmo's the man I love! But Timmy,
are you loco?

TIMMY
Trust me - I know what I'm doing.

ON SCOTT HAMILTON on A UNICYCLE, in a MAMBO SHIRT, juggling

FLAMING ARMADILLOS.

SCOTT
This is it! The final event: the million
year dash! The runners will have to
conquer the ultimate obstacle course by
passing through a time portal and
dashing through a million years of
history. And I've got to juggle these
flaming armadillos!!

ON THE STARTING LINE - WE SEE HP AND ANTI-COSM0 GETTING READY.

A SWIRLY TIME-PORTAL SPINS IN FRONT OF THEM.

HP
Turner. I knew you were stupid...

ANTI-COSMO
But this takes the cake. We're racing
Cosmo!

TIMMY
Don't be so cocky! Cosmo will beat you
fair and square!
Cosmo's head rolls in.

COSMO
Has anyone seen my body?

Timmy picks up Cosmo's head, walks to the starting line and puts
Cosmo's head back on his body.

TIMMY
Cosmo! Focus. You're running the biggest
race of my life!

COSMO
You got it Timmy, and you won't be sorry
you picked me...

A REFEREE fires a duck-zooka!! HP and AC jump right into the time

portal! Cosmo just stays and keeps talking.

COSMO (CONT'D)
Because I'm laser focused. Nothing will
distract me because when that duck-
zookah goes off, I'm...

TIMMY AND EVERYONE

RUN! Cosmo! RUN!!!

COSMO
<SCREAM!>

Cosmo dashes into the time portal.

INT. TIME TUNNEL - A SWIRLING VORTEX - CONTINUOUS

HP and AC are neck and neck, as they fly through the vortex.

ANTI-COSMO
It will be so nice to win. Perhaps you
could come have dinner with me and my
new evil godchild this evening! We're
serving up a huge bowl of: "You lose!"
Ha!

HP POOFS up and hops on a TURBO-CHARGED SCOOTER.

HP
The only thing you'll be eating today is
 my dust! Later, dude.

HP zooms away leaving a cloud of dust. <ZHOOOOM!>

ANTI-COSMO
HEY! That's cheating! I like it!

AC POOFS up an EVIL HOVERCRAFT around himself and follows!

<ZHOOM!> Cosmo enters scene and calmly "swims" - after them.

COSMO
La la la la la! Portals are swirly.

EXT. PREHISTORIC TIMES - SAME

<WHOOSH! WHOOSH!> HP and AC fly in from a TIME PORTAL and zig-

zag past DINOSAURS and ERUPTING VOLCANOES! They shoot at each
other with MAGIC BEAMS! ZAP! ZAP!

HP/ANTI-COSMO
I'm going to win!/I'm going to win! Turner
will be mine!/He'll be mine! /Oh no you
didn't!

They zip into another time portal as Cosmo comes happily swimming
through the first one, right into the path of a T-Rex. It <ROARS> in his
face!!!

COSMO
Okay, I quit. Ahhhhh!

Cosmo turns and runs, but the T-rex grabs Cosmo by the butt and
shakes him! Cosmo's pants rip, and he's flung through the next portal!

EXT. MIDDLE AGES - SAME

HP and Anti-Cosmo fly in through another portal. They're still shooting

at each other, as they dodge CASTLE TOWERS and SHOOTING
ARCHERS. They zip through the next portal, as Cosmo comes sailing
through the first portal, he lands and rolls next to KING ARTHUR - who
draws his SWORD!

KING ARTHUR
Who dares enter King Arthur's Camelot?

COSMO
 Um...'tis I, sir Scared-alot?

KING ARTHUR
Sir Scared-alot!
(like a salesman)
What can I do to put you on one of my
camels today??

PULL WIDE to see CAMELS for sale on a lot. A sign reads: "King
Arthur's Camel Lot and Catapults! Low financing!" He throws Cosmo
on a camel.

KING ARTHUR (CONT'D)

I gotta two-humped beauty here with low
mileage and power steering!

COSMO
Hey! It's got that 'new camel' smell!
Giddyup humpy!

Cosmo cowboy-kicks the camel who bucks Cosmo off, and he's
launched toward the portal. But he hits the edge of the portal and only
his head goes through. His body falls and hits the ground.

EXT. REVOLUTIONARY WAR BATTLE FIELD - 1776 - SAME.

PAN ACROSS A COLONIAL BATTLE FIELD - A full scale colonial battle is

going on. GEORGE WASHINGTON leads HIS ARMY.

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Must chop Red-Coats!

<WHOOSH!> AC and HP come through the portal and fly over the
BRITISH REDCOAT ARMY, shooting at each other.

GEORGE WASHINGTON (CONT'D)

Great Scott! We're out of cannon balls.
The War is lost!

Cosmo's head rolls into frame.

COSMO
I'm lost, too. Have you seen a swirly
portal around here and maybe my torso?

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Wait. We'll use this talking, green
 cannonball!

George picks Cosmo up and stuffs him into the cannon.

GEORGE WASHINGTON (CONT'D)

Hey! It's got that 'new camel' smell!

EXT. FAIRYWORLD STADIUM - SAME

Everybody watches the time portal. Scott Hamilton (dressed like ELVIS
PRESLEY) sits in A THRONE eating A PIE.

SCOTT
(To camera)
Scott here, back with you at the finish
line, and we're waiting for our racers to
return. Who will it be!?

<WHOOSH!> HP and AC fly through the portal into the stadium.

SCOTT (CONT'D)
It's the Anti-fairies followed by the Pixies!
And no sign of Cosmo!

ON WANDA AND TIMMY - on the sidelines, waiting anxiously.

WANDA
Timmy! Cosmo's not back! What are we
gonna do??

Sanderson comes in and POOFS Timmy into a Pixie suit.

SANDERSON
Get ready for your first day of work,
Turner.

Anti-Wanda enters, POOFING Timmy into a Buster Brown outfit.

ANTI-WANDA
No! He dun gots to get ready to be an
Anti-Fairy godchild! I love you!

Timmy rips the clothes off, revealing his normal clothes.

TIMMY
Just wait! They haven't crossed the finish
line yet!
ON HP AND AC - heading for the finish line.

ANTI-COSMO
Anti-fairies rule!

HP
Wrong again, punk.

HP holds up a remote and <CLICK!> Up from the rainbow track shoots

up a LARGE METAL PLATE. <CRASH!> Anti-Cosmo crashes into it
forming AN AC IMPRINT in the metal! HP continues.

ON the metal imprint. Anti-Cosmo holds up his wand. Another METAL

PLATE rises from the track. <KANG!> HP slams into it, leaving an
imprint of himself!

SCOTT
It looks like cheating has stopped our
two leaders!

HP
But it hasn't stopped us for long.

HP and AC pry themselves free and run for the finish.

SCOTT
And it's neck and neck to the finish, but
where is Cosmo?!

Timmy grabs the microphone.

TIMMY
Where are you Cosmo?! I don't want to
wear evil shorts!

EXT. REVOLUTIONARY WAR BATTLE FIELD - 1776 - SAME

George gives the order.

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Must...shoot...baaall!

<KAPOW!> Cosmo flies through the REDCOAT ARMY, knocking them

down like bowling pins. They raise a white flag. <WHOOSH!> Cosmo
sails through the next time portal!!

ON THE FINISH LINE -

HP and Anti-Cosmo are about to cross the finish line...

SCOTT
And it looks like it's gonna be a photo
finish!

Jorgen snaps awake.

JORGEN
Dah - I just had a dream there was going
to be a photo finish, and I wasn't in it!

SCOTT
Who will win? Who will be the Fairy World
Games Champion?

HP and AC are about to cross the line when WHOOOSH a green streak
whips through the frame.

<KA-SNAP!> The FREEZE FRAME reveals Cosmo's smiling head

beating the sweating and pumping AC and HP.

SCOTT (CONT'D)
It's Cosmo...by a head!!

The crowd <CHEERS>!

ON THE SCOREBOARD - The fairies reach 15! PAN UP to see

FIREWORKS over the stadium, then PAN DOWN TO -

EXT. AWARDS PODIUM - LATER.

COSMO ATOP A PODIUM while HP and Anti-Cosmo stand on either side.

All the fairies (and Jorgen) <CHEER> as Jorgen puts a GOLD MEDAL
around Cosmo's neck.

TIMMY
Congratulations, Cosmo, I knew you
could do it!

COSMO
Thanks Timmy, but it's you who really
deserves the gold...

WANDA
For showing us that if we believe in
ourselves (and cut our heads off) we can
all cross that finish line first.

JAUNDISSIMO
But, how did you know Cosmo could do
it? He's the weakest and least attractive
of us all.

TIMMY
Which is why HP and Anti-Cosmo didn't
bother trying to cheat him. They just
cheated each other.

ANTI-COSMO
You win these Fairy Games, Turner, and
the bet.

HP
So, what is it you want us to "do"?

JORGEN
Ooooh, make them do something
humiliating like streaking naked chanting
"fairies are the best, fairies are the best"
with "kick me" signs super glued to their
buttocks - yes that is good.

TIMMY
I'm gonna make them do - nothing.

EVERYONE
What?

TIMMY
I think they've learned their lesson, that
cheaters never win and winners never
cheat.

HP
You're a good man, Turner. If you were
my employee, I'd give you a promotion.

ANTI-COSMO
And if you were my godchild, I'd let you
wear long pants.

TIMMY
Thanks guys. Hey, do you mind if we
capture this moment with a picture?
Timmy pulls up a camera. HP and Anti-Cosmo pose.

JORGEN
Oooh! Let me get in! Cheese!

CLICK! <WHAM!> The frying pan camera knocks them all out!

TIMMY
Sweet dreams!

WANDA
Speaking of dreams, isn't it time we sent
Scott Hamilton back home?

TIMMY
Oh yeah. Cosmo? Wanda? Make it so!

They all wave their wands and POOF! Scott Hamilton vanishes!

INT. SCOTT HAMILTON'S BEDROOM - (LIVE ACTION)

The REAL SCOTT HAMILTON wakes up in his own bed. He pulls the
covers back to reveal he's in a SKATING OUTFIT (alt. holding A
COMMANDER KLUCK-KLUCK DOLL).

SCOTT
(Alt. to doll)
Huh? Whoa (Commander Kluck-Kluck). I
had a dream I was an announcer at
some weird, magical athletic contest and
learned the lesson that if cheaters cheat
they are only cheating themselves by
being cheating cheaters.

ON SCOTT'S DRESSER - Juandissimo and Cupid POOF in.

JUANDISSIMO
I think he wants a cheetah, too.

CUPID
Whatever!

Cupid POOFS up an ANIMATED CHEETAH, it leaps off screen and

attacks Scott. <O.S. SCREAMS are heard.>

FADE OUT/THE END!