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the debate between feminism heterosexual and political lesbianism
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P u b l i s h ea dn d p r i n t e d by .td. O n l y w o n r eP n r e s sL 3 8 M o u n tP l e a s a n t L o n d o nW C I X O A P April 1981 CopyrightO eachauthor. No part of this pamphletmay be reproduced All rightsreserved. in any form without the written permission of the authorand of OnlywomenPress Ltd. I S B N0 9 0 6 s 0 00 8 7

by Dark Moon Typesetting 4-3All SaintsRoad LondonWl I by Jo Nesbitt Cartoons

we think the discussion amongfeminists W e a r e p u b l i s h i n gt h i s p a m p h l e t b e c a u s e p o l i t i c a l l e s b i a n i s m i s i m p o r t a n t . T h e L e e d s R e v o l u t i o n a r y Feminists about p a p e r a n d t h e n p u b l i s h e di n W I R E S , p a p e rw a s o r i g i n a l l yw r i t t e n a s a c o n f e r e n c e t h e i n t e r n a ln a t i o n a l n e w s l e t t e ro f t h e w o m e n ' s l i b e r a t i o nm o v e m e n t . M a n y w o m e n h a v eh e a r d o f t h e d e b a t e w h o h a v e n e v e r r e a d a n y o f t h e p a p e r s .l t s o m u c h i n t e r e s ta n d f e e l i n gt h a t w e w a n t e d t o m a k e t h e a r g u m e n t s generated i n a m o r e p e r m a n e n tf o r m . B u t o u r p u b l i c a t i o n o f t h e p a p e r a n d t h e available correspondencd e o e s n o t m e a n t h a t w e a s a c o l l e c t i v en e c e s s a r i l a y gree ensuing w i t h o r s u p p o r t t h e p o s i t i o n ss t a t e d o r t h e w a y s i n w h i c h t h e y a r e s t a t e d .T h e r e a r e a n u m b e r o f o t h e r l e t t e r sw h i c h w e w a n t e d t o i n c l u d e i n t h i s p a m p h l e t . W e lnstances received w r o t e t o a l l t h e w o m e n i n v o l v e db u t i n s e v e r a i no reply and . o r t h e s a k eo f p o l i t i c a l a n d e d i t o r i a l t h u s c o u l d n o t p u b l i s hw i t h o u t p e r m i s s i o n F c l a r i t y w e h a v ed e c i d e dt o i n c l u d e b r i e f s t a t e m e n t s c , o l l e c t i v ea n d i n d i v i d u a l o f o u r o w n ( O n l y w o m e nP r e s s ) ideas. T h e s ea r e t o b e f o u n d t o w a r d s t h e e n d o f the pamphlet. Letters marked with a star * have been cut

POLITICAL LESBIANISM: THE CASE AGAINST TIETEROSEXUALITY We know that the question of whether all feminists should be lesbiansis not often when we new. We havehad to work out out ideason the subject because politics our and what it means to say men are the enemy, with other about talk women, we are askedwhether we are sayingthat all feminists strould be lesbiars. We realisethat the topic is explosive.It is somethingwe are supposedto talk about at home and in closeand trusted groups of friends and not make political statementsabout in the movement, lest our heterosexualsistersaccuseus of woman-hating.Is it true that we must conceal our strong political beliefs on the subject when talking with other feminists?We would like to raisethe whole issue for discussionin a workshop; not just whether all feminists should be lesbiarn, but preciselywhy we think they should be and whether and how we may begin to talk about it more openly. We do think that all feminists can and should be political lesbians.Our definition of a political lesbianis a woman-identified woman who does not fuck men. It doesnot mean compulsory sexualactivity with women. The paper is divided into two parts. The first coven the reasonswhy we think serious feminisb have no choice but to abandon heterosex-'ality. The secondis aranged in the form of questionsraisedand comments made to us about the subject of political lesbianismand the way we think they should be answered. (l) What heterosexuality is about and why it must be abandoned

Sexuality What part does sexrulity play in the oppressionof women? Only in the system of oppressionthat is male supnemacy does the oppressoractually invade and colonise the interior of the body of the oppressed. Attached to all forms of sexualbehaviour are meaningsof dominanceand submiSion, power and powerlessness, conquestand humiliation. There is very specialimportance attached to sexuality under male supremacywhen every sexual refereirce,every sexualjoke, every sexualimageservesto rcmind a woman of her invaded centre and a man of his pou'er. Why all this fuss in our culture about sex?Because it is specifically through sexuality that the fundamental oppression,that of men over women, b nuintained. (This strould be a book, can't really be gone into now.)

6 The heterosexualcouple The heterosexualcouple is the basic unit of the political structure of male supremacy.In it each individuat woman comesunder the control of an individual man. It is more efficient by far than keeping women in ghettoes,camps or oven at the bottom of the garden'In the couple,love and sex are usedto sheds obscurethe realities of oppression,to prevent women identifying with each 'their' man aspart of the enemy. other in order to revolt, and from identifying couplehelpsto shoreup male Any woman who takespart in a heterosexual by makingits foundationsstronger' supremacy Penetration Penetration(wherever we refer to penetration, we mean penetration by the to the sexual pleasureof women or evenof men. Its penis)is not necessary forms of contraception' performanceleadsto reproduction or tedious/dangerous culture of this particular stage Why then does it lie at the heart of the sexualised younger and younger women, at of male supremacy?Why are more and more the guidance counsellors, marriage by psychiatrists,docton, ages,encouraged get Johnson to Masten and and growth lefties pom industry, the movement, the form of the oppressionof women fucked more and more often? Because As more women are able to eam a little more is changing. male supremacy under of reproduction are relievedso the hold of individual money and the pressures men and men as a classover women is being strengthenedthrough sexual control. The function of penetration Penetration is an act of great symbolic significanceby which the oppressor But it is more than a symbol, its function and entersthe body of the oppressed. effect is the punishment and control of women. It is not just rape which serves this function but every act of penetration, eventhat which is euphemistically describedas 'making love'. We have all heard men say about an rtppity wornan, 'What she needsis a good fuck'. This is no idle remark. Every man knows that a fucked woman is a woman under the control of men, whosebody is open to nren.a woman who is tamed and broken in. Before the sexual revolution there \ras no mistake about penetration being for the benefit of men. The sex"al revolution is a con trick. It servesto disguisethe oppressivenaturc of male sexuality and we are told that penetntion is for our benefit as well. Every act of penetration for a woman is an invasion which underminesher confidence and sapsher strength. For a man it is an act ofpower and mastery which makeshim stronger,not just over one woman but over all women. So every woman who engages in penetration bolsters the oppressorand reinforces the classpower of men. (2) (a) and Comments Questions But it soundslike you are sayingthat heterosexualwomen are the enemy!

No. Men are the enemy. Heterosexualwomen are collaborators with the enemy. All the good work that our heterosexualfeminist sistersdo for women is underin with men. Beinga mined by the counter-revolutionary activity they engage feminist is like beingin the resistance in Nazi-occupied Europe heterosexual where in the daytime you blow up a bridge, in the eveningyou rush to repair it. Aid for example:women who live with men cannot tell battered Take Women's women that survival without men is possiblesince they are not doing it themEvery woman who lives with or fucks a man helps to maintain the selves. oppressionof her sistersand hinden our struggle. (b) But we don't do penetration,my boyfriend and me

If you engagein any form of sexualactivity with a man you are reinforcing his classpower. You may escape the most extreme form of ritual himiliation but because of the emotionalaccretions to any form ofheterooexual behaviour,men gain great advantages and women lose.There is no such thing as 'pure' sexual pleasure. Such'pleasure'iscreatedby fantasy,memory and experience. Sexual 'pleasure'cannot be separated from the emotions that accompanythe exercise ofpower and the experience ofpowerlessness. you penetration, don't do why not take a woman lover?If you strip a flf man of his unique ability to humiliate, you are left with a creature who is merely worseat every sort of semual activity than a woman is). (c) But my boyfriend doesnot penetrateme, I enclosehim

A roseis a roseby any other nameand so is penetration.Or possibly,.you can't make a silk pune out of a boar's ear' is a more apt expresion. The kindest interpretation is to say that believingin enclosureis wishful thinking. It would be more realistic to say that it is a copout and a rationalisation for continuing the activity. Enclosure,where an active vagina(helped by strengthening exercises) sucksin a penis could only take place where a woman and a man were born fully formed, totally innocent, onto an uninhabited desertisland (where they might well neverdiscover fucking anyway). No act of penetration takes placein isolation. Each takes place in a system of relationshipsthat is male supremacy.As no individual woman can be 'liberated' under male supremacy,so no act of penetration citn esqlpe its function and its symbolic power.

8 (d) But I like fucking

I it bearsany resemblance to reality, than to suited to California,supposing HackneY' include the pleasureof But yes, it is better to be a lesbian.The advangages you not directly are servicing men, living without the strain of a that knowing life, uniting the personaland the political, glaringcontradictionin your personal into those you are fighting alongsiderather loving and putting your energies than those you are fighting against,and the possibility of greater trust, honesty and directnessin your communication with women. Communication with heterosexualwomen is fraught with difficulties, with static which comesfrom their relationshipswith men. Men distort such communication. A heterosexualwoman will have a different perception and reaction to things you say; she may be defensiveand is likely to be thinking 'What about Nigel?'Whenyou talk of women'sinterests and the future and survivalof women,her imaginationmay be blocked by concernfor her man and his brothers. You feel under pressureto say nice things which will not threaten her. (h) You are guilt-tripping us

Gving up fucking for a feminbt is about taking your politics seriously' Women who are socialistsare preparedto give up many things which they miglrt enjoy they seehow thesethingStie into and support the whole system of because economic classoppressionwhich they are fighting. They will resist buying Cape the profits go to south Africa. obviously it b more difficult for applesbecause of somefeminists to give up penetntion which is so fundamental to the system oppressionwhich we are fighting' to live It is much easierfor you in the lesbianghetto than for me. I have day-by-day out the contradictions of my politics which is a hard, relentless, strugglewith the man I live with and That's simply not true. Living without heterosexualprivilegeis difficult women's in a living iry going into pubs with groups of women or dangerous. where youths in the street lay siegewith stonesand catcalls. hou-se Heterosexualprivilegesare male approval, more safety from physical attack, greatereasein dealingwith the authorities, gettlng repain done, safety from a besiegingobscenephone-caller,being able to refer to a man in the bus queue or at work which brings smilesof approval from women and men, let alone the financial adrantagesof being attached to a member of the male ruling classwho has greaterearning power. we chooseto live without theseprivilegeswe resentbeing usedby Because heterosexualfeminists as fuelling stations when they are wom down by their strugtes with their men. Women'sliberation groups and women's households should be a refuge and support for heterosexualsistersin resolvingtheir contradictions by getting out but should not be usedto prop up heterosexualrelation' shipsand thereby shoreup the structure of male supremacy. G) (f) But lesbian relationshipsare also fucked up by power struggles

No. Guilt-tripping is usedto prevent women from telling the truth as they seeit and from talking about hard political realities. It is you, heterosexualsisters, who are guilt-tripping us. It is possibleto stop collaborating and asking you to do that is not a guilt-trip. (i) Are all lesbian feminists political lesbians?

That is sometimestrue, but the power of one woman is never backed up by a position, strugglesbetween women do not directly strengthen suprior sex-class the oppressionof all women or build up the strength of men. Personalperfection in relationshipsis not a realistic goal under male supremacy.l,esbianismis a political choice, part of the tactics of our struggle,not a passport to necessary paradise. G) I won't give up what I've got unlesswhat you offer me is better

No. Some women who are lesbiansand feminists work closely with men on the male left (either in their groups or in women's caucuses within them), or provide mouthpieceswithin the women's liberation movement for men's ideaseven when non-aligned.It may well be that these women find it more difficult to see that men are the enemy becausethey are treated as substitute but inferior men by left malesand are able to feel superior to the straight women who are still strugglingagainstsexual oppressionin their beds. They are not woman-identified and gain privilegesthrough associatingwith men and putting forward ideas which are only mildly unacceptable to maleleft ideology. (j) But you don't understandhow difficult it is to give up men

Wenever promised you a rose garden.We do not say that all feminists should be becauseit is wonderful. The lesbiandream of woman-loving,barelesbians hillsides is more breasted,gUitar-playingsoftballers,gambolling on sun-soaked

Most of us know from penonal experience how practicallydifficult and painful it is to decide not to fuck againand get out from the rnn we live with and/or love.It is usuallyonly done with the love,support and strengthofother wornen who have made that break and whosecriticism and straight-talking spurred us

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on. We know that for some women, e.g. those with children, those with no easy to the movement,and those without the experienceof living on their access own, the break is more difficult than for others and they need more time and practical support. we know how difficult it is to find a women's houseto move 'new girl' at the women's disco' But part of into and what it is like to feel like a the support must be in explaining as clearly as possiblethe political reasonsfor our own choice and talking honestly about all the difficulties with the women who are making it. lreds Revolutionary Feminist Group

1l

DearWires' the case LeedsRevolutionaryFeministGroup's paper"Political lesbianism: glad offended and angered me, but I'm wrote they it heterosexuality" against years those it because ideas have been hanging around for printed but an6 Wires baldly before. stated so been never have lt's also the first time I've seenfeministsdirectly deny the principle that is real,and valid, - that women havethe capacityand everywoman'sexperience the right to maketheir own choicesabout their liveswithout being told what's else,or being ostracised for not conforming. goodfor them by someone feminists. and heterosexual I know there'sunspokentensionbetweenlesbians ofeach other - cautious and defensive because it's hard to suspicious We're with choicesthat seemstrange- evenperverse. Ihe samecredibility ernpathise gapdividesother groupsof women - mothersand non-mothers, older and youngerwomen,black and white women. But to canonizethosedivisionswith abstracttheory insteadof communicating with eachother - confronting them in a way that MEANS somethingto experience ofour different lives,and builds on those our own conscious - well, whateverhappened experiences to consciousness raising? This isn't a vanguard cadregroup with a five-yearapprenticeship and an entranceexam,it's a liberation movement,for all women. Standard, sexistheterosexual sex with penetrationas the unquestioned pirtnacle is oppressive to womenand tailoredto men'sinterests, but that'snot newsand it's not contentious.The tragedyis that women'stentative attempts to exploreand revealand challenge standardsexualpracticehavebeen killed stonedeadby the two commandments that if you do it with womenyou're OK and if you do it with men, you're out. "If you engage in any form of sexualactivity with a man you are reinforcing his class power." Full stop.End of discussion. But lesbianism, we're told, provides "the pleasure of living without the strain of a glaringcontradictionin your personal life, uniting fhe personaland the political, lovingand putting your energies into thoseyou are fighting against, and the possibility in your communicof greater trust,honestyand directness atronwith women." What'sthe secret? My "personallife" (I'm a lesbian)is riddled with glaring contradictions, needsand desires. dubiousmotives,irrational and compulsive I havea very few friendsI really trust and none of them is a lover. I may be unique,but I suspect I've had with others from observation and conversations

(wrRES 81)
Paperfint given to a conferencein September 1979

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that I'm not. And where's the evidence that heterosexual womencan't and don't with otherwomen? lovingrelationships trusting, develop close, Eventhough sexualityis sucha powerful and controlling force in all our lives, it - it's not left in the tnovement to seriously discuss to be no space thereseems eachother. "political" exceptwhenwe usesexualchoiceto judgeand condemn her, change her, but the world song,"change In the wordsof Janieand Andrea's the same". stays and conflicts our fears and doubtsand needs If we can no longerexpress of rockingthe right-onboat we'll be drivenback into without beingaccused fists into clenched will collapse and feminism and isolation, guilt and seit'-hatred and empty slogans. FrankieRickford. In sisterhood, (Wires82)

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Men havealways held that it is only women's teeble-mindedness argument. sexist oppression the pitying tone of this paperechoes women's them whichcauses exactlY. about a radicalfeministanalysis is that we say that our Wrat is special not our fault, but alsothat womenarenot brainwashed is (i.e.stupid). oppression need to look at feminists why women do what they do, to Radical strength women's and to try to add to it, not just to bully them out of respect The Redstockings' manifesto, an early radicalfeministmanifesto their silly ideas. said"we take the woman'ssideon everythine".For me, bearingthis in mind is a good way of exposingliberal arguments, and I think that the political l.esbianisnr paperfallsdown badly.If a womanlikesfucking,radicalfeminists just shouldn't doingand muststop it now, but shouldtalk sayshedoesn'tknow what she's of life. The only pointin womenchanging aboutother areas their livesisif they --if good it is for them. we haveto discover, v"antto aswe go along,what it is that womenwant,not try and dictateit now. I spenta long time asa heterosexual, very committedfeminist, and felt guilty a lot of the time, but I did not leavemy boyfrienduntil I wanted vaguely to. My process of withdrawalwaslong and painful but I think necessary. If I had left abruptly,in a fit ofguilty righteousness, that process, ofthe creationofan independent self, would havebeenleft with nothing but a sense of virtue to fill the gapleft by that relationship. I absolutely rejectthe ideathat heterosexual feminists' politicalwork is undermined simply by their sleeping with men as such. on the other hand there are obviouslywaysin which women'srelationships with men damagethemselves and other women.But it is up to heterosexual womento work out what is good for them and I think that lesbians shouldrespecttheir integrity and good faith in doingthat. on the subjectof integrity,I think that the omissions from the political Lesbianism pieceare very interesting.This is the first time, in maybe two years stncethe groupbegan,that any revolutionaryfeministshavemade this sort of absolute statement about relationships with men.It isn't the first time by any means that thesethingshavebeensaidin the Movement,but it's the first time thesewomenhavesaidit. I would like to know, in personal'private' terms, what that means to thoseindividuals.I think that a little openness about their own f'eelings, about their own lives,would be far more interestingthan all thesepronouncements abouteveryone else's. I'd alsobe interested in why no individual women put their namesto the piece- but the whining voiceof the fantasy heterosexual feminist asksonly theight questions, thosewhich allow the wrltersto trot out their lovely slogans, and evadethe doubts and fearswhich might giveus someinsight into what is really going on with them. SophieLaws.

Another criticism of the Lreds Revolutionary Feminist paper " Politicallrsbianism" I very much agreedwith what Frankie Rickford and the other women who have written to WIRESaboutthis havesaid,but I want to add somemore thoughtsof nry own on a ratherdifferent tack from theirs. friend to line?" saidmy heterosexual "Whatever to the pro-woman happened eachother.Fair commentit wasat weretreating me about the way that lesbians paper.The the time and also,I think, fair commenton the PoliticalLesbianism publislring they terribly in Fem's though were being brave [eeds Rev. write as their paper, no realpersonal openness, no risk - one might and yet it contains think that thesewomenwereautomatons. Or moreexactlyone would think that in the vanguardist they weretrying to be "cadres"(professional revolutionaries) Marxist tradition; shiningeyesfixed on the gloriousfuture after the revolution, jumperscovered beating to the rhythm of the right-online. in badges and hearts And the highestact, the test of fire which dividesthe true disciplefrom the hopeless fool ofa liberal,is givingup fucking. to fucking. Somehowthey reducethe whole structureof male supremacy - how exactly the total strategy from men becomes services Wthdrawingsexual this will bring them to their kneesis not explained. feel guilty thanit is feminists to makeheterosexual it is a lot easier Of course, either to confront the structuresof the patriarchywhich go beyondimmediate why heterosexual personal or to examine in depththe reasons relationships about relationships havethe hold over women that they do. Shoutingslogans The implicationof the Rev.Fem's this sort of thingis totally irrelevant. and should approach is that heterosexual women areeither stupid or masochistic pull themselves liberal togetherand fight the patriarchyproperly - a classic

(wRESs3)

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DearWires, the which contravened that you did not print contributions I understand Paper, Feminist Group Surelythe Lreds Revolutionary WLM demands. .,PoliticalLesbianism"clearlyand directly contravenes the demandfor the right pieceof patronising, arrogant most is the It also to a self definedsexuality. women. etc about psychology orthodox rubbishI haveeverread,including explanation' an readership its I think Wirescollectiveowes whatsoever, Yoursin no sisterhood Ann Pettitt. (WRES 83) DearSisters, in the Leedspaper?I seea flat contradiction what is wrong with the analysis write: "There is no sisters The Leeds experience. of sexual in it on the question by fantasy, c r e a t e d p l e a s u r e S . u c h ' p l e a s u r e ' i s s u c ht h i n ga s ' p u r e ' s e x u a l from the be separated Sexual'pleasure'cannot memoryand experience. of powerexperience the power and of the exercise that accompany emotions is experience sexual any about feels a woman how that lessnes." They admit to her relationship and situation perceives overall her she by how determined the two of them.And so far I between partner, includingthe powerrelationship how we OUGHT to feel in us go to tell on they then But them. with agree what is happeningas'he doesnot with men: if a woman describes relationsl.rips 'wishful thinking', 'a cop-out'' him', sheis guilty of penetrateme, I enclose sexualpenetrationby a man as a humiliation' an act Womenought to experience etc; and ifthey don't experience class-collaboration, of counter-revolutionary that, they aredeluded. memoryetc.,thenit follows on fantasy, depends experience But if sexual when I make love; that .I can be the only authority on what I am experiencing remembering, for I am the only personwho can lcnow what I am fantasising, ice cream,or like feeling.If I tell you that it feelslike eatingmango-flavoured a moor by the full moon, or like anythingelsethat galloping barebackacross comesinto my mind, on what basiscanyou or anyoneelsetell me that I am mistakenor deluded? for don't seemto havemuch respect But morethan that, the treds sisters the in as such or why do they put it into invertedcommas sexualpleasure Are they telling us that an piecequoted above,or compareit to Capeapples? orgasmwith a woman doesn'tmeansheis controlling me? And is it the act of him his 'controf', or what? The his penetratingme, or my orgasmwhich gives way they write makesme wonder do they evermake love to anyone,and when they do, how do they feel about it? Whenthey come, don't they get that feelingcomingup from inside,so that for a sort of whooshof overwhelming

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And are they while you don't know whereyou end and your partner begins? 'powerlessness' kind of feeling that which could be called sayingthat having you? person control over If that what is they meanit doesn't the other sives People may havecontrol over me through coincidervith my experience. or food supplyor income),physical (by controllingrny shelter force econornics or by rape the threat of it, but power, not by stimulating to me or political orgasmwith anyonewho I felt I don't think I could experience orgasm. these of ways. Leeds sisters, in any The like many sexistmen, controlledme (penetration between distinguish rape without consent) to and to fail seem explain love-making. They don't HOW hetero sex shores hetero up pleasurable, malesupremacY. But secondly,I agreevery much with Sophie [aws' letter in Wires83. And I'd to raisesomecrucial like to take her argumenta bit further, for it seems paperraises the questions on the direction the WLM is taking. The Leedssisters' question- on what basiscan any persontell anotherhow sheshouldlive, who thesesentences which begin"How sheshouldrelateto, etc?I keephearing a feminist. . ." and continue, variously, ". . . could anyonewho callsherself meat/knitin public/want a baby", aswell as ". . . fuck men?".There smoke/eat to be an attitude about that the WLM is somesort of established seems church, externalwith rulesand standards which haveto be lived up to, not a something political movementwhich we havecreated,with which we want to change the world so that we can tve free lives.But this attitude seems to mean that we exist for the WLM,not the other way round! But I don't want that - I've been struggling for a long time to get away from the politics of OUGHT, of revolution-by-guilt-trip, which must inevitably lead to an elitist classstructure - if we ever get that far! post-revolution What would happenif I agreed with the keds sisters, acceptedtheir analysis, left my collective home and the man who shares my bed,and went to live in a right-on, Rev Fem all-womanhouse? Such a step would feel like doing violence to a part of myself- but then,"lt's about takingyour politicsseriously" - no sacrifice too greatfor the cause. My sisters, of course,know more about The Cause than I do, and now I've seenthe light I'm agogto learn from them. They'vebeen at it longer than I . . . And if I get momentsof missingmy old home and the man I used to "love", the jokes and cuddlesand struggles and day-to-day living which I usedto sharewith him, well, that is counterrevolutionarybacksliding, and I must repress it! So I distrustmy own feelings and reactions, and so haveto rely for guidanceon my sisters to tell me what to do and what to think. And before long, there I am - supportinga new elite, thoseright-on feministswith the raisedconsciousness ... "kft to carry the burden of the higherconsciousness, membersof this elect will tend to seethe peoplearound them as at worst, bad,lazy, consumedwith

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t h e d e s i r e | o r m a t e r i a l a c c u m u l a t i o n a n d s u n d r y d i v e r s i o n a r y pthey assions.atbest. level ' ' ' Beingan elect means igrorunr, needingto be hauledto a higher And they haveto do everything' can rely on no-oneand beingan electmeans insensitivity and treachery the of tlie burien of responsibility, .i*uvr'rf,. weigl.rt bearingdown on them'" is else eueryone of left. It is wrlte that about the kninist "vanguard" of the Rowbotham S'eira many of us cameto the WLM in the to g.t a*ay from this kind of politics that first place.Do we really want it here? witl]out andtakenup a lot of space lots of questions I seemto haveraised WLM' I the from I want what saying by I'd bettlr end gettingvery far. Perhaps pulling eachother to pieces'I want to iuunt u'feeiingof pulling together not eachother,but alsoof how we betterhow we aswomencansupport understand aSwomenoppresseachother.Andlwantafeministpolitic sw hichtakesinto hypocritical or und i"u't', without tellingme I'm deluded accountmy fantasies me to understandthe internal blocks wtrich when I fuck men; Uut *ftittt enables as fully to the RevolutionasperhapsI might! preventme from contrlUuiing "*t"" I think we it a politics of the unconscious? what l am suy'ngis, Perhaps needone. PennyCloutte' Love and sisterhood, (WIRES 84) .'Politicalksbianism": SomeThoughts

17

t. Eawtufe- o+ Lu 5T' aut cvtrl"l T\vt Vowl nlere- senstl4l Tahfica4tdu ,-,'' o +'te (;lzsn ^i41r. lvreluhr,M>t'DYs our 6o4ie.s are fcmTp-s + fr4e-+Jol'1Ghosf I o,4r Pqy+s atz s;qcreol - le.!- no ch<p lamy.r with +nevq -1U"1 qre ho+ oqrc jo.,buset.

perfectsense. It does saidin the articlemakes On a very cold logicallevel,what is to feminismand basically I agree with what conclusion natural the be to upp.u, is written' whenone triesto convert"theory" into "practice"?I But what happens perfectlywhy I shouldfeel angryabout women"collaborating" understand up patriarchy; but I don't feel I can turn round shoring with menand therefore (sureI think they'rein a shitty "wrong" friendsthey're and tell rny heterosexual ' rintless enough seern and they know h<lwI feel).Their relationships situation, just that? other women'sl-eelings like to me but can I reallydismiss in the right and ability of every woman to reachher own wellI believe view.I know that the majorityof women in our societyat present considered But I feelthat of their relationships. probablydon't havea very feministanalysis -spending a lot of energy feminists havespent and are a lot of heterosexual that they living a contraare and DO realise trying to work out their situation, 'small group' in the meetingI went to in Brighton,and with diction.Certainly, other womenI havetalkedto, this hasbeentrue. And they havesaidthat they at present, althoughthey can seethat to live out that contradiction areprepared prepared to do so. ls this nol theremay comea time when they areno longer (lt is not "seriously", given is open that one to change? takingone'sfemhism - I about assaying heterosexuality the same one cannotseeanythingoppressive that believe think women this tend to drift off into the maleleft.) do I guess what it basically boils down to is the question of whether"hetero sexual"feminists areat someinferiorlevelof consciousness to "political lesbian" ferninists. (The articlecould very well be interpreted in this way - this is where the ideaolelitism comes in ?). I know that I'm not as "sussed-out" as some womenwho'vebeenin the movement for years, but it still getsup my nosewhen womentalk about "seriousfeminists", as thoughif you don'thappento be as acutely sensitive you are as they this minutethen you can't be of how oppressed tn earnest. Surelythe ideaof consciousness embraces raising the fact that we are rzl/ constantly becoming increasingly awareof our contradictions/compromrses, etc? My personal experience hasbeenthat, asI became moreinvolvedin feminism, I found it harderto relateto men: so that now (giventhe limitations of living in this society) I am moreor less separatist. But feminismwasnot the initial cause of my breaking off of (sexual anclemotional) relationships with men;I didn't llaveany "right-on" "ideologically - I just didn't like them. sound" reasons (A naturally inferior analysis??). I do not feel in much ofa positionto be saying 'it canbe doneif you reallywant', and that otherwise you're not takingyour politicsseriously enough. I gues I just don't seethingsin termsof "absolutes". Also.I think that because women aren'tcold logicalbeings, but are emotionally invoived with "their" particular NOT goingto be painlessly man,it is obviously

18
is you may agree It's no gooddoingsomething things. easyfor thelnto resolve feeling. you're logcally "right" if it isn't what (although my "feminist I can'tseewontengivingup tnenwholesale what this article I suppose this). like things tells me I shouldn'tsay conscience" my politics taking I'M whether question hasreallydone for me is makeme enough. seriously Gilly Heron, February1980)' Newsletter, Liberation (Brighton& HoveWomen's * asmuch asanything Elitismis a tlnction of insecurity or beliefs. perceptions else, PernaPs' Adi. Liberation Newsletter, late February1980) (Brighton& HoveWomen's

19

Sislers. Dear how It it irony oriust retributionthat at the very time I'm realising the WLM is, I feel important to me and my hopesof survival desperately Againand againas I've readthe Political excluded/denied. increasingly psbianismpaperand the lettersthat havefollowedit I've screamed, "but this it just isn't true for nre. lasn't got anythingto do with me and my life", because well I'll haveto bearit. I if I'mnowrevealedasthe all-timecollaborator r'urd against the straitjacket of my father's spentthe first 20 yearsof my life strugging creedexceptIslam. and the last 10 fallingvictim to everypatriarchal dogmas, flalf way throughmy life I won't acceptthat any womanknowsmy life and betterthan I do myself. experiences privilege a bit about heterosexual and the advantages I kn<-rw I haveasa woman.(I don't think whetheror not I fuck makes any difference heterosexual - closetcelibates don't havemuchimpact on patriarchy.) I've seen how - the constant pressure insensitive heterosexual womencanbe to lesbians to see private,the waysin which many who a womansleeps with asher own business of us refuse to truly consider whetherall men arepotentialrapists, the waysin which we crawland conciliate, not just with 'our' menbut with many others. And all the thingswe can't/won'tseeabout women'soppression, exploitation and degradation because it would bringup too many questions about us and our 'choice'of relating t o m e n .T o e v e nr e f e rt o r e l a t i n g t o l n e na sa ' c h o i c e ' s e e r n s suspect, asit impliesthat we haveconsidered opening ourselves up to the possibilityof relatingto women. Many of my feminist friendsare wary as I am ol'relating to/sleeping with women.For me the reason is that I'm afraidbecause womenare too importantfor me to trust rnyselfwith. Oneof the thoughts/realisations I've had that upsets me is a feeling that femi.ism/theWLM (is therea right one?am I exposing myselfas a sellout liberalby usingthe wrong words/phrases) is something out there.A feelingthat I'm not a properfeministand don't deserve liberating I'm not behaving because properly.I've felt this vaguely always, but beforeit's beenbearable. I've joked aboutrny hair (neithercroppedor long),the fact that I like to wearskirtsand bright colours and seldomdrink or smoke. WhatI feel now isn't funny, it's terrifying.I feel I'm beingtold there's no room for me. Either I comeout asa lesbian yesterday today,or preferably or

Somethoughtson the Political ksbianism discussions is not only the LeedsRev.Fem.paper;that is ONE statePolitical lesbianism livespolitically' of mine/others ment. For me. it is aboutlooking at all aspects Sexualityispolitical,personalbehaviourispolitical.TheLeedspaperslrows maledomination' symbolises clearlyhow heterosexuality a lesbian but to be a politicallesbian, political; itself in is not To be a lesbian personal level' a on society to made challenge the of feministis to be conscious escapism not is It structures' social challenge to norms, to to conform To refuse in societyin all areas, sincemaledominationpermeates from maledomination, only alesbian be To avoided/evaded. be It cannot lives. ofour all dimensions level.It doesnot, in itself win the on a personal the contradiction elirninates liberal/ with rnen,however that relationships It is importantto realise revolution. Rather with a politicalpower relationship' thosemenare,areascribed liberated level,politicallesbians that on a personal thanput energyinto challenging to fight on otherlevels' choose to fight with men' whereit nay be necessary I think that therearesituations if I chooseto certainends.But, as a feminist, with men,to achieve to organise and conflictsthat at the problems work with men,I shouldnot be surprised with women' And, asa feminist,I preferto work/organise entails. There is part of a process. ideasand beliefs changing is necessary, Confusion etc or ratherthat statements/papers are to be a fearof claritylrowever, seems 'last word' on a subject. We mustbe ableto supporteachother in takenas the beingclear between Weneeda balance and thesechange. workingout our ideas, patient. There and beingtolerantand and beingallowedto saywhat we believe, I do others. on beliefs and imposing sayingthingsstrongly, is a fine line between on censored be to I do not want to have my own ideas: not want to compromise 'heavy' 'alienating for a other women',I do not mind beingcriticised of the basis approach. 'holier than thou' or elites,and think that a I do not believein hierarchies is wrong.But neithershouldwomenhaveto deny theirideas, approach

2L 20
enjoymentbasedon sexualviolence? ? or, is heterosexual why I Liked Screwing elselcrawlawayandsufferinsilence.Iseemtohavelosttheangerthatonce Whenlwas5lplayeddoctorsandpatientswithmylittlegirlfriends.Themale fuelledmeinmybattleforsurvival,orperhapsit'sbeentransformedintothe off and eldestgirl, "made" the restof us take our knickers ;:r;r;r, playedby the tiesperationtlratlbrcesmetowritethiswhenithurtsandl,dratherb eanywhere only in a girl;dressed gypsy any played I 8, us. At l "tortured" perhaps she if *hile ,."a a"*" -don'tdeserve doinganythingthanstttingherealone'wondering horrorsforcedon me by somelord of the manor.A nameless ,rtri r tanrurtzed r e l i e f , w o n d e r u r g i | t ' m n o t w o r t h l i b e r a t i n g . E v e n s o l s t i l l b e default, l i e v e t hthe atloving nakedand in the MarketPlace; by as RomanSlave alesbian herself to be want 7 fantasized ashatingmen. I don't iri.n,i og..f wonlenisn,t the same they are not men' with legswide apartfor men to see' they arewomen,not because chained womenI carefor, I love because about; to lie me for important too and Inlg6g,aged22,lread"storyofO"andmyhorroranddisgustwas This is too urgentfor me to evade that realisation ultra-guilty the feminismof the l'eeds of by the then unspoken-for-many-years, expression true the be deepened may separatism lesbian 'the book from with them wasto me a turn-on. Passages who agree ,.udtnt of O's total degradation Feministgroupand of att ttreother women Revolutionarv l-a;t me and however penetrated I don't conform to that because cameunbiddento tny mind when myboyfriend but they can't tell me orlny other woman it is political'and I believe them they worked I did enloy it more' I barrislred l/we aren'tieminists'If the personal their standards c'r groupsrevealed the and of this,evenwhen womenin sexuality experience I speak own did my Never to affirm is, then I havethe right/responsibility they and dreams how in order to cclme fantasies what I'm trying to their own hatedmasochistic whichierivesfrom it' (ThoughI know politicalperspective woods the at them in who'd flashed which hoverover all the phrases had to think of the man in the raincoat because conscious uneasy/self :;-f i;;i".i have cameto their rninds lives bondage beating, of rape, women's images how l5; were history they through when this pageseemunfeelingiyinttfftt*al)- Al1 get awayfrom thinking of our experience It's only recentlyI've beenableto whenmasturbating. by men' everyaspect beenignoredby womenand classified the powerof, I,m a bit of a pervertand it's all my fault, mainly throughrealising ignoreduntiioneofusmanagedtohesitantlyexpressitand t h e n i t w a s d e n i e d / n our lives. for us (and I meanwomen) to m a l es u p r c m a ciY the chance as tt,ougt't obliterated.Now it seems we aIe society. by male-dominated hasbeenconstructed our sexuality s u r v i v e i s b e i n g l o s t b e c a u s e w e c a n ' t / d o n ' t r e s p e c t e a c h o t h e by r.lfawomantells generally a accept for me to respond broughtup to kow-towto men in everyareaof bur lives, and middleclas it's not enough me I'm intimidating We a escape? possibly in life my years of five first the lousydealin jobs,pay etc. etc. . . How can our sexuality I spent thinking, well, I'm frightenedtoo and for just fight to we have luve to fight to begin to define it for ourselves, as b a c kt o b a c ki n W g a n . the respect just I should this' elsethat'sours that hasbeentakenawayfrom us,or neverallowed everything done ['ve and l'm not really middle class our fertility, women the As I hope all in the first place- control overour bodies, growthor expression wofinn enoughto honestlyconsiderwhat she'ssaid' a as ' ' ' me of our own me and dismiss our right to do any sort of paid work, a culture who read this splurglewill do and not just categorise repressed' are are' all we what and Sexualityis too often talked about in the Women'sLiberation Movementas I am' What lesbianor whatever' repressed But in a each and ourselves as if it growsin us freeand unfettered. separate, something untouched, exploitedshaton women;andif we can't affirm distorted, of images is too that degraded would I haveidentifiedwith society, non-rnale-dominated and eachother anything other ratherthan denyingin ourselves, and for the orgasms reach put faking with up 'doesn't fit; I really believewe may as well giveup and womenand found them erotic?would I have painful or that it accepting heterosexuality yearsof monogamous feigning for 2 headaches valium. years of me 4 it taken wasmy fault and that I must be frigid? Would have keds' DianneGrimsditch, bisexualitywith feministsto finally push the last man out of my bed (with much (wIRES 86) guilt and fear)and say"I'm a lesbian"? I enjoyedit Reading it through 1980' I'm not saying I neverenjoyedsexwith men. I did. But I suspect January in wrote I spiel a long This is an extract liom in apparerttly being my not clear' most "giving", was most whenI wasmost "on the bottom", I' As I hope a year later there dre tw) points I'd like to make' (provided he Feminist screwed but getting being control sore, bouncingaround on top at the LeedsRevolutionary of my distress angufshwasn't onllt because betrayed by didn't go on and on and on, mind you). As i grewmore feministI couldn'tlet and exptoited principally things' ither of paper, it was alsobecause status, that happenwith men I sawas"equat" or "superlor" to me in age, if any men read it and find 2 men I had tried to tntst' 2 I wrote it for women; boy". With "pretty educated education and less a much younger etc. so I chose it uninteltigible andfor threatening' tough'

23 22
position and think Qrcversayl) hirrrI could abandonmyself in the missionary impossible on eventhat became went time rny master".But as thingslike..He',s much as a as me oppressed he anyway last? ever (hoi could sucha relationship towards men' from more and more away n,unu, all the othersdid), ani I turned of social conlrol of womenby men mechanisms fostered carefully emotional dependence. + romanticlove= slavish rnasochism

papers says(in Sexual violence sexual c<-rnference's As a womanin one of the - ThreeWomenSpeak),justafter her initiator hasbeenreally insultInitjation y o u w a n tm e , R o n " ' women. i n g t o h e r " l ' m y o u r sa sl o n ga s R e l a t i n g s e x u a l l y t o w o m e n , o r b e i n g a c e l i b a t e l e s b i a n , l s t i l l s o m e t i m e s h a v e Wren I put this paper(slightlydifferent,and without lhe two paragraphs I hate themand fight to acceptI'm not alone'nor a fantasies. theonly - reactionwas nrasochistic in wIRES 90, the main - in fact, frustratingly, above) anclrevelin them as"natural"' is to welcome answer the believe .,Aren't I don't plucky little soul' I don't as a it's nice to be seen While you brave". feruert. I think of my sexuality' going to trashyou for it. No fentinist's about was so brave I don't think they comefrom my own self-definition reallyseewhat my of adapting grewup asa means I as there grew and plantei you if achieving reveal character traits;only *.r. your own disliked ,h.y to actmitting praiseworthy that and suggest proud that's and difficult of you're s e x u a l i t y t o t h e d e m a n d s o f a h e t e r o s e x i s t s o c i e t y w h e r e m e n a r e s u p r e m e l y i n sonrething generalise fromyour political to try decision; to the same come control. othersrnight of my boyfriends My fatherwasjealous politicaltheory;and/orfind and that of many other womento create I don,t recallbeinga victim of incest. experience put on men; it's for this that your that the blame behaviour for butthisseemstrueofalotofwomenlknow.Mymotherwasthedominant meanings family my particular you, you, to etc. For a long time up to censure stop speaking rise will parentwithin the 4 wallsof our home' But I don't think feminists to all this' Liberation in the Women's about to masochisrn is relevant speak impossible background been it's at malesupremacy challenge sexuality us,by men. of our own self-defined of the way this ideahasbeenusedagainst because Tie stirrings Movenrent we won't havea truly selfthat'swhy they stay,they're by their husbands, "Womenlike beingbeaten itsroots.But until we haveendedmalesupremacy, lives.It's fightingfor this our and bodies full control overour for doingnothingand letting the situationgo they say,as an excuse definedsexuality, rnasochists" - but it - fair enough thatwillendma|esupremacy.Yes,Ithinkwehavetogetoutofmen'sbedsas on. No, that'snot true, we say,we aren'tmasochists To raise the topic at all must be anti-feminist. partofachievingtlris-butno,I'nrrrotadvocatinggoingtobedwithawoman any furtherdiscussion. stops ;.for politicalreasons", or "to further the revolution"- would any womando so from to be masochists, be "brave": I think womenare influenced So now I'11 choice canbe and is a politicalas well asa personal lesbianism Saying and "enjoy" it. In a world heterosexual anyway? a very youngage,so that we'll become implY that, doesit? by the useor threator doesn't whereall rnenhavepower overall womenntaintained into So - my sexuality,and that of many many other women' wastwisted possibility that our sexual ever-present violence, isn't it inevitable of sexual which made me which cameout most stronglyin my fantasies, nrasochism, dealings with men shouldbe filled with suchthings?And this in itself is a form e n j o y b e i n g s c r e w e d , w h i c h g a v e m e a n e x t r a t h r i l l ' M a n y w o m e n h a v e h e e n of sexual violence against women. into reality, our fantasies turnedon by "Story of O". Many of us havecarried with practices A F'antasy: sexual or helpful accoma stimulusto sexualarousal,that is, a necessary hur:riliating haveput up with or indeedinitiatedextremely or bed' the to paniment tied be person. Physical to with another asking to masturbation sexual activity off, or him to suck hint before r',.n,iik. kneeling anally' one arousal vaginally, But a fantasy one would or without the fantasy. be impossible, more difficult, simultaneously, male'lovers' by rwo beingfucked men, with can life thoughts everyday be and less stimulating into deliberate, than this. conscious Sexually over carries humiliation this what about the way joked about?who irnages are your or making love insulted, that masturbating come to mind when slaves, unbidden like be treated to ourselves how we allow along was helped a form she unless you them develop. now, of fantasy, them immediately or let banish implies whether that girl" all with a being could "enjoy So areerotic dreams. or engage in The peoplein the fantasymay be faceless, by masochism? sexualactivity which is outsidethe fantasiser's financially are all go: not experience. to actual else nowhere has woman battered Not every it was/is, Many women havefantasies which entirely consistof, or haveelementsof, Amonghippiesfor instance on their man,or havechildren. dependent sado-masochism, in live let him fter S.S., of lookedat, tied up etc. etc. In rape, beingpassive, out bestiality, a man to support woman for a common enough discussion while him, mother that the two in the groupwho with it turned out women in treds and basically lterself his drugs score fter accommodation, b,ad alwayslcnownthey were lesbians hasno she have, and neverhad had, any ol' say did not And she'll throughout' him by betrayed and up gettingbeaten thesesort of sexualfantasies. of aspect other that had. enters The rest of us had Obviouslywe can't (And here him. loves becauseshe .t,oi.., but to stay, - but it isinteresting,nevertheless. and grafted Seneralise anything constructed, from small a sample so artificially two [,ove: Romantic oppresslon, women,s

24
and the rest,would we get into "l'm yoursaslong as you Without masochism want nle, Ron"? Wouldwe, indeed,evergetinto Ron at all? Justine Jones feminists and and help to revolutionary With many thanks1brdiscussion other womenin lreds. Papergiven at Leedsconferenceon Sexual ViolenceAgainst Women,

25
in its own interest",althoughit obviously serves thernwell. patriarchy The irnportantpoint at this momentin time is not whereit's comingfrom that everywornan becomes a but whereit's takingus to. Nobody is insisting - the Leedspaper (practice lesbian doesn't always makepert'ect) practising that. PoliticalLesbianism is about stopping doesn'tdernand sleeping with men, that it will be a lot harderfor thosewomenwho enjoy asI seeit. I appreciate I wish I could giveup meataseasily.t find it very wilh rnen.Personally, sleeping because I reallylove eatingmeat- my lantasies are ftardto be a vegetarian about pork chops.But I am slowlycomingto the realisation that my ustrally to the exploitation/oppression of animals, so I know eatingmeatis contributing that, and how I got I nrusttry harder.I couldn'tbeginto do it until I believed thereis by other womentalkingto me about it and trying to persuade me that I wasdoinga bad thing. That didn't makethem "arrogant",neitherwasit a case m , i d d l ec l a s s k n o w sb e s t " .B u t I u n d e r s t a ny do u r g u t o 1 - " e d u c a t ea dr,t i c u l a t e to womensuggesting that you ought to giveup something you like. I reaction often. I mustadmit, call my friends"bloody smugkilljoysfor trying to put nle off steakand rarnkidneybeanstewdown my throat at everyopportunity." This may not be a very coherent letter,but I bet it's the first time lesbians to kidney beanstewl havebeencompared JeanClitheroe sisterhood, ( w t R E S9 0 )

22-231r1181.

DearSisters, and I think I know what the womantneantwho saidthat shewasimpressed why womenwere and wondered by the militancyol the suffragettes inspired attacking shetalkingabout actions to take suchactionnow. Wasn't not prepared the powerof women(whetheror not it's asserting nralepower,specifically This is quite into that category)? correctto put the suffragettes historically cometo that, but differentfrom womenfightingwith nren,or independently your about, i.e. examples are end,which is what all towardsthe same (this pay is unsupported by the often in NorthernIreland,equal Republicanism part v. the wage labour capital but it is still of unionsand maleworkers, armies in the third world,and fightingthe cuts.I nationalliberation struggle), their "angerand militancy" because don't think you shouldcall womenarrogant forms.Everywoman's isn't necessarily in these commitmentis important,but that workingin maledellnedstruggles thoseof us who believe is to collaborate primarilyto thosestruggles. with the enemyobviously won't commit ourselves discussing But why mustit be "alrogant" or even"racist" to sayso?I'm always my viewswith other womenand I try ttl persuade them that what I think is right,and what they do is try to persuade me that what they think is right throughrelating surelythis is one way we develop a ferninist consciousness, (arguing) "all the restof us are with eachother.I think it's unfair to assume inferior,is what is reallybeingsaid." I'm surethat isn't true. It's not a questit-rn of assuming a womanis weakto believe that shecannot enterinto a sexual with a man on her terms.I assume relationship thoseterms would includeequality.Wehaveto look at it in its social context- the personal of powerdoesn'tevaporate is the politicaletc.,the balance in the bedroomdoes (of any kind) is impossible that an equalrelationship it? I happento believe in a power,e.g.between situationof unequal a teacher and a pupil, a bossand a secretary, a general and a private,or me and my cat. That isn't because the are strongor weak,is it? And yesI know lots of women individuals themselves "heterosexual haveexperienced/do experience desire",but I don't think people who challenge it arenecessarily seeing it as"an ideological construct designed by

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26
Political ksbianism - lvlark II LiberationMovein the Women's for lesbians Currentlya time of crisisis arising us and I feelit is importantto that thereis a moveon to silence rnent.It seen.N understand why that is and to fight it, for all womento fight it. Thingshave on (or against) debates beencomingto a headthroughcurrentmovement and the argumentaround male children.Thereis a backlashagainst separatism, our autonomy. of the movement. atmosphere of] the social . . . [This is partly because and discosthat are organised . . . Lesbianfeministsgo to the few fenrinistsocials which of lesbians There [it] is the behaviour . . . by womenin the movement. to flex havespace Lesbians women may fear which is challenging. heterosexu.al that we The strength Not in a sexualway but with bravado. their/oursexuality. This arrogantly. is paraded gainthroughbeingautononousof mensexually to freely do so.Nor is it whereit is possible is the only space social space get from being that lesbians the strength necessarily a bad thing,for it expresses in a maleway through male mannerisms, But often it is expressed lesbians. in straight-dyke to the old role-playing It conesponds and behaviour. attitudes and heterothroughbeingmale.to lesbians It is oppressive barsand is sexist. sexualwomen alike. lt treats other women as smalland inferior. Such behaviour asmen doingit. But it is not lhe same patronises and treatswomenasinvisible. as the womanto much as herself negates suchbehaviour The womanexpressing just telling us how to police in our heads male the whom it is beingdone.It's which get another, divided frorn one we with women;which means behave to accept male this like is To behave means we don't trust oneanother. that you asa in yourself, women,andnot to believe standards of how to impress women matter. Heterosexual have credulity, are important. lesbian wofilan level. on a sexual bel.rave this way towardone anothertoo, thoughnot always other and turn heterosexual been to increasingly The results of all this have I do not think thisis justified,nor is it fair, but it womenagainst lesbians. women and lesbians level it meansthat heterosexual happens. On a personal it creates evenmore distrusteachother more - politicallyin the movement At meetings backsare differences. irreconcilable sptts and seemingly is much harder.HereI together up, whatever Working immediately the issue. pressures from the media and on lesbians could go on to explainthe increasing just givetwo societyat largeto attempt to justify the behaviourevenmore. I'11 in this examples; one is a film calledWindows,which may soon be on release womanshesees who wantsa heterosexual country,and which is abouta lesbian asher lover. Sheis rebukedby this woman and so hires a man to rapethe men asshehopes.The plan backfiressomewhat woman and so turn her against killing men. This film is meant woman goeson the rampage and the heterosexual to illustratethe depth of lesbianfeelingsfor women (which is accurate,I would

27
how horrendous and destructive theseare.ln sav) , but still wantsto declare a1l the old particular stereotypes of Woman as Seducer, Tigress, in thisfilm Dangerous evoked. Evil, are Thus lesbians can be shown Witch, once Insatiable, other to women;thus we are again divided. different be to again the struggle for lesbians to get'fair'coverage on the tv A secondexample,is 'Gay Life'. Lied to at everycornerand negated one anyway wonders programme Lesbianism is nothing to it. do with male hotnosexuality anyway worth *ur if I why we should be implicated in their balls-ups. coverage see The of I don't and as usual tluoughout minimal the It is faced was series. time we up to lesbianism us. We men hate challenge them through that utterly our sexuality; they fact the and under their thumbsand control,if they will fight to keepus heterosexual lost this they will have turn on us with all theirvenom- and their they tliat feel we havesained so little. Is it any wonderthat with is mighty.As lesbians porver us we shakewith fearand thus try to dror.rn it the might of their poweragainst from it. Or - if we valueit, try to recreate it in out in other ways.To escape ourselves. our oppresionis 'dcluble' because we haveno male protectors or As lesbians policemen to hedgeus against the wrath of malepowerand dominindividuai it is known that we do not allow men to own our bodiessexually, ation.Olrce they will makeall attemptsto hck us into submission. Because we present to them,in somepart, the freedomthat other women may obtainfrom them. We standout because we show that it is possible to liveautonomously, on a personal level. without men.They cannotbearthis.They will retaliate to keepother womenfrom doingso. If they haveno poweroverwomenthen they are powerless. We render them impotent,this realisation for menis their real fearof women. I wantedto write about separatism. whichis something that all lesbians participate in to differentdegrees (hereI am referring to lesbian feminists). It is necessary in our struggle to take awayfrom men asmuch time and space and energy aspossible. Not only because we needan autonomous Women's Liberation Liberation Movement but because that time and space and energy is ours,and menwould all too willinglystealit from us in any way possible. is Separatism vital to our edstence. possible It is not always for us to be totally separatist but we needto strivetowardstotal separatism because it is orir strongest tactic against them. Somewomenfeel that hatingmen is. I agree that womenget much strength fromhating men and'gettingin touch with the anger that this generates. I needto feel my hatredat leastonceevery<lay. But takingtime and energy away lrorn them is evenstronger.It meanswe havemore control over ourselves and our own lives- to be able to decidewhich are the wayswe want to work most effectively.They simply cannot stand this. It drivesthem literally crazy not to get a reaction from us. Our reactions to them givethem credulityand Power.

28
today towardslesbians of womenin the movement attitudes The reactionary and comareSexist reactions These born ofjealousy. I feel, are, andseparatism for approval with one anotl'rer, petitivein the usualwaysthat wolnencompete 'freedoms' of of the privateindividual wornenareenvi<lus from men. Heterosexual were lesbians Just as we as the same time. them at of frightened And lesbians. heterosexuality the chasmbetween across of leaping onccso terribly frightened controlthat the weaknesses, and their challenge Our strengths andlesbianism. is the that Heterosexuality wrote tfte Furies is why theni. This over havc men oppression the it comes to up when We are front of Supremacy. cornerstone male out of line. The we take the rap for all womenstepping of womenbecause of many a heterosexual the heart terror in believe strikes I still of'lesbian' charge shefeministor to men, be this disprove will wish to she level woman.At sonre not. be trapped(in women that they will always to heterosexual disprove Lesbians of eonfront' is fear If there relationships). heterosexual or motherhood marriage, towards then resentment part women, of heterosexual the on ing this challenge a shows sexist and It is boat. the we rocking are again ensues. once lesbians or ieast at to not understand. women by heterosexual of definitelack awareness from. Often actually coming lesbians are where about read about or try to talk to speakof the pain of our comingout.The often many thereis very little space knowingthat the utter terrorof feelingand yearsof self-doubt and self -hatred, for womento come that it is much easier one is that different.I do not believe If it is, all well and goodand maybewe arereallygetting out in the movement. For most womenthis is not the case. somewhere. a womenof the agonyof becoming But to speakopenlyto heterosexual the lesbian to them. In the veryact of understanding is itselfa challenge lesbian experience. sexual they haveto relatethis to their own personal experience that they too feel.In understanding they too arewolnen,because Because womenbeginto see arenot differentfrom other women,heterosexual lesbians - it is conceivably possible. As that potentiallyany womancanbe a lesbian to be advantages they know that thereare strongpoliticaland personal I'eminists Apart from the fact that only women madeby womencomingout aslesbian. to livingwith a man themselves can truly love women.So somewomen resign with this and beinga feminist, somewomen refuseto see,somewomen struggle conflict all their lives othersalsocome out as lesbian.This doesnot meanthat that it just means by beinglesbian, somedo not seewhat thereis to be gained with our is to do it is so frightening The reason the chailenge is too frightening. up and our pastlives.It entailsan opening to and gains own individualstrengths it is more than and politicallevel, levelas well as on a social womenon a sexual commitmentand trust and solidaritythat is involved. and the lack of towardslesbians of the lack of sisterhood I am very frightened point in our history.It at this particuiar oppression of our specific understanding

29
as I've saidbefore,but nlore,it turns f-eminists us from oneanother, divides as the rest of the world. It is not lesbianism well that is as lesbians against It is but heterosexuality. heterosexual women, with movement, the in exclusive generated lesbians male not women, of by society, by who fears unfounded with men and hold them close. If they are so strong, their relationships closet to discussion? If the heterosexuality open of thesewomenis so not they are why is it not written of and why discussed more openlyin the then rooted deeply pinch to know I'm the because feeling right now, and | need movement? abrewing. trouble's who silence heterosexual womenbut men - may I reiterate. It is not lesbians not goingto havebeentakingthe blamefor too long,I'm certainly Lesbians Weare the oneswho initiatemoreevents and activities and it any rnore. 13ke in the movement because we havemore time and space and conferences nreetings thingsin. It is at greatpersonal expense in our lives, because of the to do these painswe havesufferedin the past and the discriminationwe still sulfer at the We do not go out and get drunk of men,that we havethis time and space. hands on it (not all the time anyway)we giveit to women.Not to get greatrousing but because of thank fr<lmour sisters, we do it for ourselves as muchas cheers we have fought in for all women.We can givein somewaysmore freely because the past to be able to do so. The cost is high but the payoffs areimmense.We believe arestill in the minority in the Women's Liberation.Movement it or not wearealsoa minority amongwomenin society. - thereis I do not want the voicesof lesbians to be silenced in the movement a tendency creeping our way. Wehavemuch still aboutour specific oppression to understand and uncover. Nor would I want the viewsof heterosexual women to be silenced. But I do feel that I haveneveryet reador heardanywhere, heterosexual feministsspeaking privilege openly and fully of their heterosexual andhow they dealwith that, or justifyingin feministterms,their relationships with men. Thereis still spaceto do that in. Power to all of the women - or to none. Marlene Packwood, RadicalFeminist.

Dearsisters, It's obvious by now that I'm heterosexual, and I'd like to take up your tnvitationto discuss/think about my privileges. Your letter didn't threaten/ frightenme into silence, but my ideasarevery woolly and unsurecos I've never written them down before. You'reright. It isn't lesbians who silence me, but neitheris it men - it's myself.I don't want to be lessright-on than my lesbiansisters - so I shut up,

30
I conningmyselfthat sincethey'vebeenthru' it all, I've got nothingto say' openand full but this is a start' this will be completely don't suppose in this a free choicenone of my choices persuasion as sexual my I don't see I don't feel concerned, free,but, asfar asindividualrelationshipsare society'are by A1lmy life I've beensurrounded .o.r..d into beingwith individualman/men. all his for who, father and a mother with six sisters women - a strong-natured faults,didn't expect more or lessof me for beingfemale a circle of close of friendswho werernoreimportantthan boyfriends and latera succession are male-dominated groups, which altho' numerically living/working communal families' for me to couples/nuclear preferable joke and then. a teenage and lesbianism wasinevitable At first heterosexuality and I had to option it wasa real lesbians assomeof my friendswere/became of agony the that to womenlike me talksof the challenge Marlene decide. and safe warm sisterhood, to form a seem is. To me lesbians a lesbian becoming what I to do me to up with nrefirmly on the outside'And why? lt's attractive believe I things for risks want, and I can't fool myselfthat I don't dareto take to resigned in. It must be that I don't want to be in there.I don't meanthat I'm dismiss I don't but ratherthat it's what I want at the moment heterosexuality, future. it asa possible to talk about my lover privileges? The freeclom ArnI clingingto heterosexual the right to physical openly(wnicn l rarelydo asl'm me, not half a couple) the bond with mother, a to be to fulfil my desire contactin public,the chance that clearly' to answer the the majorityof womenwho arehetero.I can't see But togetherness. lesbian view of it with but my rosy I've nothingto compare when pubs easier is in work, at in the streets. yes,dealing with malechauvinism of convinced to be has who a dyke in theory,and not iney ttrnkl'm available and their of in spite individuals, few love a I can the error of her ways.Because me. But I still getangry. to toleratethe millionsthat oppress my faults,it's easier The idealist feminism. my compromises hetero I think I do feel that being while the individuals, all to freely you relate should world saysthat in a perfect the upholding is men to relating that and do we ctul't l-.ulirt,uy, that Now all theory. that's quo. But sexiststatus 1feel that my with men in feministterms? How do l justify l|ly relationships doubts.Maybe with self riddled nights at awake lie don't realitydoes.I certainly I should. with menare my relationships me, but perhaps doesn'tthreaten Separatism I am ableto that I hope intend. I don't that of separatism an implicit criticism not mine' are which personal choices, women's and support respect by individual lesbianwomen (only by someof the I've neverfelt alienated I'm lucky in who I've met, or maybe I've an overlettersin WIRES), maybe which doesn't allow thesefeelings. importance own of my sense developecl power. I don't feel dominatedby from male frccdom Neither do I envy tlict and tren as a sexhavepoweroverus all. (ls this an illusion? are inclividuals power?) collective male from freed lesbians Liz Wilkie. In sisterhood, (wIRES e2)

31

Dearsisters, to Marlene Packwood's article I want to write down a few pointsin response Mark II. In particularI am intrigued by the challenge to PoliticalLesbianism privilege"and how I dealwith it "speakopenlyand fully" of my heterosexual with men". and to justify "in feministterms" my "relationships I seethe reasons for heterosexual feminismastwofold. The first Basically, By this I meanone'sbackground (whichin my case factoris "life-situation". for example). Also,thereis the "time-factor".It simply Catholicism, includes In fact, I would go furtherand doestake a long time to shedall our conditioing. on-going struggle. saythat this is a continual, first, how do I justify, in feminist terms,my Taking the secondchallenge with men?I would saythat relationships relationships with men(in my case part of the on-going in fact) arean integral only one relationship struggle to be a ferninist. I seebeinga feministasan on-going process, not a staticor finite one. Menplayedan equalshare in the development of my feministconsciousness (thoughmostlyin a negative way, i.e. by beingoppressors) so that now, as a feminist, I feel the needto work throughthoseformativeexperiences, re-forming them;sortingout whereI may havemisread situations because of my own sexism and whereI failed to seeoppression; turning silent pain into vocal anger, anger into theory,theory into practice takingprogressively more difficult steps to turn the personal into the political,in other words. AIso,a relationship with a bloke is basically an ego-trip;so totally lackingin feministperspective aremen. Thiscan alsobe incrediblyfrustrating when one cannotget throughbecause they lack eventhe most basicunderstanding. As a teacher by natureand profession, I derivea grealdealof satisfaction from "Enlightening the lgnorant".At the same time, I learna lot myselfby trying to Put thingsacross to others. I seecloseness with womenas a stage beyondthis,but it is simplyone which I ltavenot reached yet - exceptin my dreams and phantasies. I lack the social skills and self-confidence to eventry to "chat up" anyone.I hope to acquire them in future. But, at present, I am the "all-roundreduced personality". I rnow I am missingout on the greatest pleasure and deepest by not havingreally closerelationships with women and I suffer for it - very painfully at times. My problemis turningknowledge into action. One obstacle is that I havea deep-rooted. if naive.belief that the context of lovingshouldbe a beautifulone,aswell as the relationship itself.The women-

32
lrsbos you describe sirnplydo not fulfil this need.I want Sappho's only havens allfreedom.Therealityyou for a// women;poetry,spiritualharmony,above but thereI relationship, is far from all this.(Yes,so is a lteterosexual describe up all my moneyfor it, but, I drearn of lesbos,I'm saving haveno illusions). to until we get there,therearecold, rainydaysto get throughandparents please. to build I try, like a// womenbeforeme, to makethe bestof a bad situation, It do very well. to me. I think I tools available the few I can with asmuchas (which honesty (of words, which I never tire), harsh arguments means countless now and againto clearthe air. It it means break'ups I can takeas well asgive), principle my soul to the state.It not selling getting on married not means at all costs,so that I havespaceto write, study, remainingchild-free means payinghalves whenever It means for all children. teach;to work for feminism, telling him that I only we go out (even though he is wealthierthan me). It means I know. versionof his species put up with him because he is the leastabominable It means hopingthat one day I will be strongenoughto fly away.(And, yes,it but alwayson my own terntsand conmeanwhile, means somecompromises stantly under review). E.g.he privilege", my blokedoesnot fit the stereotype. As for "heterosexual will not travel round tondon in the dark for fear of gettingbeatenup. (He can just about manage daytime, though not by tube always).He fits the stereotype of a woman- i.e. not at all. of a man like I fit the stereotype betweenthe ideal and the actual In my own casethere is a vast discrepancy this is wheremy feminismspringsfrom. It is alsowhere the possibility for friendshipwith maleslies. '80. Paulhe Maniscalco. 25th June

33
than man orientated but I don't seeany I feel much morewomanorientated from away the few turn men to I do like. reason talkinglike a white middleclass man who sayshe isn't Am I, to Marlene, I hopenot. I getenoughaggravation from men in this world they run privileged? and straight)I loveand wirhouthavingto feel guilty towardsthe women(lesbian witlt. identifY experiences I havehad with other womenhavegrown from long The sexual - ratherslowlyperhaps friendships because we'reso ultra anxiousnot standing eachother. to pressure etc (thoughin practice I love the ideaof all womendiscos I usuallyfind such cliqueyand unwelcoming) but would hatethe sort of pick up atmosphere events describes. one thing I loveabout beingwith womenis theabsence Marlene of sexual tension. The ability to hug and kisspeoplewithout havingto brooding 'backdown' laterand makeernbarrassed excuses or apologise for seeming to l e a dt h e mo n . I reada lesbian novelist's description of straiglrt womenwho unintentionally sexuality by acting'liberal'and denylesbians kissing lesbian sistersjust in a lriendly way. That really confusedme. Is my sisterlylove lessvalid than sexual interest? or arn I coppingout because my friendship with womenis, unlike lesbianism, no threat to malepower? Yet I feel heterosexual feministsare alsoa threat. Not in the overt violent way men understand so easily, because while my first loyalty is to women,(and second to the world we live in which men haveso atrociously damaged) I don't particularly wishmen any harm. But I do want an end to their power and since they can'tunderstand this might alsobenefitthem asa sideeffect,our battlesas feminists must be threatening to their security. Loveto all sisters, JanetWright (\\TRES93) 'Political l,esbianism' A ksbian FeministCritique. Political Lesbianism is not new or exclusive to revolutionary feminism. Not so verylongagowomenwho discovered or rediscovered their.lesbianism through theirinvolvement in the wLM wereoften regarded as .poiiticallesbians,. Indeed manylesbian feminists regarded themselves aspoliticallesbians precisely because the cluestion of their sexualitywasan integral part or their feminism- it wasa veryco.sciouschoice for wonten.For the very samereason lesbians moving wtthin more conventional gay circlesregarded thesenew political lesbians with somesuspicion. At the heartof their gut feelings that we werenot .real,lesbians, '4v an Importantpoint for beinga lesbian doesnot meangettinginto women oecause of our politicalconvictions alone- it means, in addition,a growingand

(wrRES e2)
Dearsisters, the womenare jealousof lesbians because Why doesMarlenesayheterosexual the other women'sweakness? Male society,male lesbians' strengthchallenges of someone elsewho arebasedon only feelingstrongat the expense structures weak by my sisters!Why can't we has to be weak. I object to being considered etc rather than as feeblelosers all be accepted asstrong/energetic/striving I havea long term (sexual)relationshipwith a man I because of our sexuality? long term love, many other friends(a few male) I alsocareabout and several deepfriendshipswith women I love. But I don't considera sexualrelationship more important or valid than a non sexualone. I don't live with my male lover 'male protector or individualpoliceman'Marlenementions. so I don't havethe

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to Somewl-nt eroticism. to women-- a female comrnitlnent fundamentalsexual w h o a l e s b i a n a s a n d f e m i n i s t r e v o l u t i o n a r y a s a nly surprisa e n di n i t i a lh o r r o r . in wLM. I found myself throughmy involvernent my lesbianisrn discovered It le t o w a r d s'politica l sbians'tha k i n d o f a t t i t u d e he < l e g r ete to sorne sharing The out. first came gay I the scene when on fronr lesbians myselfencountered which hasbeen for this liesin the definitionof politicallesbianism reason ferninists. adoptedby revoiutionary is quite clearlydefinedin termsof women's Firstly,politicallesbianism i n t e r m so f t h e l a c k o f t h e m .T h e s ith men or rather s e x u arl e l a t i o n w Women cannotcolludewith the enemyin such for this is clear. basis theoretical in definedmy lesbianism I havenever however, way. As a lesbian, a t'undarnental to prirnary importance has always been of it with nren of my relations rerrns with women. in termsof women'srelationships me to definelesbianisrn whether lesbianism, just question of semantics), (and a this is not Secondly, and our Movement Women's the by both been used always we like it or not. has a sexual includes which women between a relationship eneniesto describe with women-identified not synonymous The term is therefclre cournritment. 'comeout' as the needto always stressed have lesbian-feminists Indeed, women. to our the centralityof sexuality precisely they recognise because lesbian to be openabout the It wasand still is of politicalimportance feministstruggle. in sexual to be involved havechosen lact that we are womenwho, in particular, with women.Impliedin a rev fem definitionof political and erotic relationships with relations that you do not haveto havesexual is an assuntption lesbianisnr shouldnot that feminists Rightly it is argued womerito be a politicallesbian. Equally,however, by becoming lesbians. haveto provetheir politicalcredentials womenwould arguethat neitherdo heterosexual many women,particularly with men - that is a credentials by not sleeping they haveto provetheir fenrinist it to our heterosexual in this articleto avoid.(l leave minefieldwhich I propose in that respect). to raise their own criticisms sisters in the revolutionary feministone danger Sufficeit to say that as a lesbian the which I canseeis that it displaces pt-rsition on politicallesbianism t'erninist to the sexual areaof havealways attached politicalinrportance which feminists relations of women'ssexual the importance it ignores our lives.{n particular the question of whetherwomenhavesexual with other womenwhilstrnaking For with men centralto the wholedefinitionof politicallesbianism. relations as feminists whetherdefiningthemselves many otherlesbians, me, and I suspect The identifiedwotnanwho doesnot fuck men is not a lesbian. or not. a wornan doesnot alterthe position.As a prefixingof the word politicalto lesbian of womennot having the politicalimportance feministI recognise revolutionary

35
with nren.As a lesbian feministI feel it is wholly wrong to relations sexual p o l i t i c a l p r a c t i c e a s u c h a s l e s b ianism po , l i t i c ao l r otherwise. clescribe l ember o1'the Birminghan r e v o l u l i o n a rF R ye m i n i s t F r o m a n i n d i v i d u am group' i r s ti n B i r m i n g h a m women's liberation newslette . ' \ p p e a r efd arn d W I R E S9 4 .

Sisters, Dear born a Rev.Fern.or a lesbian. I wasrr't The changes I've madein my lil'ehave b e c a u s I e ' v e b e e n f e l t u n h a p p y i t ' s b e e nl a t e rt h a t I h a v e ol'ten understood the for that miseryand as f'erninist perspectives liaveshedlight on my life so r.easorts slrared w i t h o t h e rw o n r e n i l o r c o f t h a tl i f e h a s b e e n to form newunderstandings nry l-eninisrn. change It so is and hasbeena constant process and and no single though cy h a n g e(s s o m es i n g l e evcnt'caused'an events l i k e t h e A b o r t i o nM a r c h 'laststraw'quality). havea I don't think my experiences of my father,rny ex-husband, the men I work "with" arevery dift-erent from any other woman's. This is precisely what we asferninists sorne share understandings of how men controlwomenboth at an individual and structural level.The difference between me and someother f e m i n i s tis s n o t t h a tI ' r n r n o r e ' r i g h o t n ' b u t t h a t I ' v ec o m et o t h e c o n c l u s i o n , because I haveabsolutely no evidence to the contrary,that lllenare not goingto tlndanrentally change unless forcedto. Yes and nry bloke wasdifferenttoo I never washed a nappyfor a rnonthaftereachof rry two childrenwereborn. . . blah . . . blah.Yet in the final analysis whenhe lelt too threatened by the assertion of my feminisrn (to which I mightadd he had introduced me) he merely invokedinstitutional force on his side.lle chosewhenit suiteci hrm t<_r stopbeinga "nice bloke" and usedwhat wastherewaitingfbr him. For two years he threatened to take rnethroughthe courtsfbr the kids on the grounds of a lesbian relationship which he had encouraged so that I would not leave. Ultinratcly the definitions of what a womanshouldbe are nrale definitions backed by powerandif any r.nan chooses to work with other detinitions, he may equallywell at any time choose to givethem up. I anrnot preparecl at any level to makemyselfvulnerable to anyonefor whom it is a personal choicewhether they do or don't invoke' the nrassive amountof power they have. Sincemen do havepower,wl.rether they choose to exercise it or not by rape, violence, economiclneans, definitions of femininityor wrratever and sinie that poweris in relationto the powerlessness of women thenif we aregcling to remove their powerwe haveto start by refusing to be defirred in relationto
rnenl.

This means not only withdrawing dependence on them, but alsosupportto . thenr.If we continueto supportthenrwhy shoulcl they change'? This is not an

36
- thereis no rainbowcornerwherewe canbe left for total separatism argumenl on their shitty aloneto createa new beautifulworld. Men haveto be challenged that they couldn't do theirjobs they haveto be forcedto recognise behaviour, by withdrawing at homeand we can only force this recognition without a slave Not all womencanleavetheir men,some so that they supportthemselves. at the moment they love the man because reasons, Sorne of economic because that they can't or feelthey can'tand address they'rewith. But let'sacknowledge to. no reason that, not that there's hatewomen' Feminists elsethat wassaidwasthat Revolutionary Something womensayabout what heterosexual I don't hate women.I clon'tdisregard the first thirty with menwhich would atnountto disregarding their relationships with painful because they resonate yearsof my own life. I find those discussions which both mademe leavemy bloke and to feel grief about all thoseexperiences up to leading the pain of workingthroughthe process it. I don't underestimate men.That pain is not borneof trying to implementsomeright-on not supporting rule like 'Neverbuy goodsfrotn W.H.Smith' but ratherof the slow realization that the man/rnenyou love, work with, strugglepolitically with etc. are retaining overyou and other control mechanisms their powerby the useof countless that bite you. I do hands the you're feeding that slowly women.You realise what I strongly processes. But these through to work have think that women of mine and analysis any terms of in be silent I that must told being object to is destructiveon the it Seems freely comment We may experiences. women's other shouldbe madeon each that demands and conclude motherl.rtnd ness of isolated for eachother'schildren. But we may not other for taking responsibility woman'srelationshipon of a heterosexual comment on the destructiveness that part ofher for her and ourselves other womenandvalidate herselfand which wantsout. Thank god a woman (socialistfeminist) told me in no uncertainterms to that womandidn't havean unlimited my husband, about and leave stop pissing fund of energyto pour into me to enableme to survivein that relationshipwith him. I knew what shesaidwas right though I did feel along with the shock that was that Sheunderstoodall right, for what shehad sussed shedidn't understand. I wantedit both ways,the love and support of women and the relativeprivilege wldch accruedto me by relatingto a man. So although I don't hate women and I don't think it is right to heavywomen and pretendthat withdrawalis easyI also privilege,when insteadof get pissedoff when women defendtheir heterosexual comingcleanand sayingthat it's the security,the status,the "normality", the socialacceptabilitywhich they do not want to giveup, they screamat me for their and for "not takingseriously being"moralistic"and "judgemental" experiences".

g7
of men undermalepowercan be I just don't know what their experiences from different mine and which don't include the realizationthat so which are opt back can into structures which he bloke clobberwomenwhenever thisnice good price going experience the that this is maintained at of her not and chooses Heterosexual women are living on borrowed time in further than he chooses. I own security and suspect arelessthan honestabout their their of terms (when they about at all in the movement) speak them in order to relationships veil tenuous security. This in effect draws a over what we as that share defend power male in experiencing our daily lives and what we should be women I think this controlis insidious and sometimes unbearable. Far from discussing. "right-on-nes" hierarchy of from operating iesbian man-hating supposed this women, I often feel I'm leastacceptable in that I womendown to heterosexual my politics because I will be hurting a woman'sfeelings. Well can't evendiscuss havebeenhurt by men and I want to be able to talk about it. This my feelings - man-hating. Yes I do hate rnen bringsme on to the next bundleof confusions - the men in my family for the way they haveconstantlybelittled the women, of them and igrored their needs. I hate the men at work who refer madeslaves to womenstudentsas"little girls" and who have decidedin their wisdom that but a term of endearment. I hate the Principals thisis not offensive of the who think their institutions must haverugby pitchesand barsbut not colleges I hate my father for his egocentricityand the way he hasleft my creches. mother uptight and emotionally crippled and for his questions about whether "old Anne" (my lover)haseverhad a relationship with a man (wassheevera real woman?).I hate my ex-husband for the yearsof absence of realnurture and for the fact that he didn't want the careof his childrenbut he wantedme definedasan unfit mother. I hate my ex friendsand lovers(male) for the way in which they havesmuglyregarded themselves as different by virtue of relatingto a feminist. Iast but not leastI hate the men who rape,batter, murder and objectify women - I hate them all. But I don't walk around the world havingfits of gratuitouscruelty. As a teacher I am not indifferentto the fact that black malestudents aswell as femaleexperience a greatdeal of racismon the courseor that gay men are subject to an enormous (it's called"personamountof very polite queerbashing ality problems").I put a greatdeal of energyinto fighting against all this not because theseare men I know and thereforedifferent but because racism, heterosexism or whatever are inhumaneand inhumanity is preciselywhat's at issue. In my own life I'm still working through my relationshipto my ex-husband. He'snot a total turd (few of them everare) and the childrenlove him. I do a lot to make that relationship with their father possible but I alsovalidatetheir

38
a bit sexist' of who he is asa man.Whenthey say'Daddy's awareness increasing But I are feeling. kids do know what those usseriously'l or'Daddy doesn'ttake in But (painfully again). over all process with them and am goingthroughthe I inevitablysupporthim in with him as easyas possible rnaking their relationship his falsebeliefthat he is a totally wonderfulfatherand doinghis bit for them. other women as it involves I don't feel easyabout especially It's a contradiction him too. supporting in the house behaviour rule plus appropriate But the ideathen that thereis any sirnple In short I crude. into isiust heaves sight a man which can be appliedwhenever how not to the moment know at but I don't donlt want to supportany man or a woman is beating Whether a man degree. to some supportmy ex-husband get at the college a creche in trying to with the Principal whetherhe is arguing to him. It doesn'tfollow from this to how I will behave doesmakea difference go with on living him, for all I know he is beating that I would urgehis wife to to how far I would Nor doesit makea difference the creche. her and supporting aid. We and women's creches wasnice,he supported trust hirn. My husband gaveme even He were in Australia. when we together went on Abortion marches to my to be sensitive and did seem all the currentwritingson the Family I don't trust sympathetic positionwithin it. So in the light of my own experience arenice,it's a question question individual men of whether either. men lt is not a to. invoke when they choose power they can the of structural It seems to be asumed that the final triumpltantdeathblow could be dealt "Revolutionin the form of the followingargument: Feminism to Revolutionary of this On the basis determinism". biological implies logically ary Feminism men.But comnlittedto castrating/klling belief,we areall apparently supposed theory,then we weretold, we have our supposed contradicts sinceour practice no stratesies. I don't want to get into the wholedeterminThisisjust crapand confusion. but at leastit shouldbe pointedout that deterfree-willarguments ismversus that whereit is assumed minismforms a iargepart of other feministtheories of determinism us.So it can't be the charge "society" determines/constructs which womenfind which bringson the horrorsbut ratherthe biological commitsus to doingwhat we don't do objectionable and which apparently form of deterkilling rnen.(lt is by the way a very nastyand condescending feministwritingswhich talk of heterosexuality rninism which is irnplicitin these fixed categories). and lesbianism as thoughthey weretotally discrete, to furyway,what wasbeingimputed to me wasa beliefthat men are caused that. I they havea penis.I do not believe do what they do to womenbecause They can don't think that men"can't help it" which is a very old myth indeed. and they could change. malesexuality help it, they don'thavean irrepressible they havetoo much to they won't unles forcedto because The fact is it seems 'strategy' to withdrawfrom men to the point of our lose.That is precisely

39
and to put energy into womenand into challenging men. forcethem to change biological determinist a and neither not does revolutionary feminism am I imply it but I do think we cancause thingsto happen anil therefore I tttgicalty possible to effect is change. it I do think that that the biological difference think menand womenis irnportant. For a startif a man didn't lmvea penis between use it as a weapon couldn't but I don't think the reverse he is true; that then penis ofa is sufficient possession to cause him to rape and control. rrrere Botlt menand womenhavechoiceand what I want is for men to starl ' c h o o s i n g ' t o c h a n gIed . o n ' t j u s t m e a nt h a t t h e y b e c a r e f ua l b o u tw h a t t h e y s a y ef f e m i n i s t s I ' m s i c ko f t h i s t o k e n i s mI. m e a nt h a t a n dd o i n t h e p r e s e n co not oppose thedisrnantlingo afl l t h o s e s t r u c t u r ets h a t g i v et h e m t h e ys h o u l d that they won't giveanythingup until they really power - but I'm convinced t o f e e lt h e d r a u g h t . begin Pat In sisterhood, (WIRES 95)

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40
*
DearWires. is Feministpaperon politicallesbianism Revolutionary I think the Leeds has it I think lesbianism. nor evenabout nor feminist, neitherrevolutionary in political I think it is an exercise to do with sexuality. nothingwhatsoever MoveLiberation Women's the part of an attemptto restructure maneuuering, to movement mass broad-based from an open. ment,to transformthe movement groups, left-wing grouping of cadreunits,alongthe linesof certain a closed what many women This is perhaps with party line and party discipline' complete within the movedirections for new desire thereis certainlywidespread *uni ment but I would prefer we all call a spadea spade' paperpropoint, I find the politicallesbianism To returnto my opening and depends concepts, of two the meanings That is, it revises foundly revisionist. the it revises all, of for its emotiveforce.First (hidden)revisions on these "the of meaning the it revises itself.Second, of politicallesbianism meaning points separately. two personal is political". I want to takeup these or in the mid-seventies of politicallesbianism The first wave,so to speak, dates specific pretty on lousy but (l'm pretty good on generalities rhereabouts America. and facts)camefrom within the radicalfeminist strandsof the wLM in when hatred of self element an learn notion that all women on tl.re It wasbased on based fundamentally is which womenin a society they learnto become or lesbian, bisexual, All women,whetherheterosexual, subjection. women's their acquire they when of self-hatred dose a furtherheavy internalise asexual. by exercised and constructed as norms, Heterosexist orientation. sexual specific isolated sexually feel ways, different in women, all ensurethat the male class, from other women.All womenweredefinedprimarilyin relationto, or in of lesbians oppression the specific Furthermore, to, malesexuality. reaction themselves found initially lesbians that rneant had society within heterosexist within the WLM aswithin the dorninant and rejected just asinvisible. dismissed sc.ciety. First' asI remember' at that time had two mainelements Potticallesbianism - to orientation sexual their specific of regardless all women it wasa call for If all womentook a aslesbians. with lesbians, publiclyidentify themselves would of lesbians oppression specific of the then much public stand as lesbians be subverted. orientation sexual of their specific all women- againregardless Furthermore, under the contextsand circumstances - wereinvited to look inward.to question how discover to and forged, been had orientation sexual which their specific much that sexualorientation,particularly with respectto heterosexuality, femaleour own and other women's of femaleness, on the rejection depended throwing were we political lesbians ourselves In calling of body and spirit. ness we knew our militant This feelingwasso strongpreciselybecause off self-hatred. which the changes that and feelings, inward our of reflection public stancewasa

4L werereal.Wehad learned to love ourselves as we had wroughtwithin ourselves had learned to we love other women. and womerl asit wasfirst Tle importantthing for me about politicallesbianism, wasthat it wasa call for unity amongwomen,based on our common conceived, oflearningto know and carefor eachother.I found it a profoundly experience opening experience, lne to partsof myselfI had never beforeacknowcreative me to other womenin waysI lradneverdreamed opening possible. It le6ged. me to feelconnected to all women,womenI didn't know, women I allowed womenI desired. didn't like, womenI admired, Feministpaperhastotally revised So now I feel the leeds Revolutionary the of politicallesbianism. My reading of the paperis that politicallesbianrrreaning ism for them hasvery little to do with caringfor and bondingwith other women, men.Certainlythereis nothingwrongwith but ratherto do with rejecting men,rnostof nry bestfriendsrejectmen,but that is rrot the same rejecting thing for women.Nor is it evena startin the right direction. ascaring Just because rnenare awful doesn'tmeanwomen are wonderful. I think we are wonderful,all of us.eventhoseof us who are horrible.I think we arewonderfulin our own men areawful. I feel positively rightand not because insultedat the suggestion wehavewomen loversnot because we arelovablebut because that will prove our politicalcredibility. I don't want any womanto feelsheis unableto be a feminist.I don't want any womanto feel shecannotmakeany meaningserious ful changes in her life unless and until shestopshavingsexual(physicalemotional) relations with all men. I remember when we usedto say,"Kick from where you are" - and not that you had to get somewhere elsebeforeyou could challenge malepower. The paperasserts that women shouldcease havingsexualrelationsof any sort with men because thoserelations arealways and invariably and eternally oppressive to women.The fact that many womendo experience quite a lot of powerin theirheterosexual relations, that they find they havea lot of room to l.naneuver within thoserelationships, to dictate to male loverswhat they will and will not do, is dismissed. The fact that heterosexual womencould talk freely among themselves and discover together to what extent they are bored, humiliated, angered, satisfied and energised or whatever by their relationships is discounted. In fact I marvelat the paper's ability to be so authoritative about every single act of penetration. I always thoughtthat part of the strength of teminist analyses of oppression wasthat we asserted the needandthe right for oppressed peopleto describe their own oppression. Sincerevolutionary feminists don't havesexual relations with men,then how can they be so authoritative about what those relationsmust alwaysbe like? Is Big Sisterwatching me? The crunchhereis that while they arguethat heterosexual relations always 'tuve suchwidespread terriblerepercussions for all women,they alsoarguethat cnanging thoserelationships so that they no longerreflectmaleprivilege hasno

42
down the drain of one at all. lt is simplypouringenergy widersymbolicmeaning relationship with a man and the relationship single man.So if you havea sexual you, you arein the wrongfor staying in it, and if you work onlt so oppresses in it. you, you areevenmorein the wrongfor staying that it doesn'toppress showthat the intent of the paperis not sortsof contradictions I think these or to help them overthrowtheir their own oppression to help womenunderstand to makeheterowordsand arguments The papermerelymanipulates oppression. womenfeel they arein the wrong,no matterwhat they do. sexual and bisexual two setsof contradictory the middle,asserting The paperplaysboth endsagainst 'solves' all the and confusion, then spuriously to promoteanguish arguments 'chuck men and all the contradictions will be with a simplistic contradictions As long as you haveany truck with men you area solved' happyending. but as soonasyou feminism, and foreveroutsidethe fold of serious collaborator sinceyou arein the all is forgiven. In the meantinte, separatist becomea sexual carrymore wrong,your opinionsareinvalidand nothingyt)u saycould possibly and bisexual weightthan the fact that you fuck with a man.(Many heterosexual you think we leave our womendo not, in fact,fuck with men . . . what makes men in everyother We feel it is right to challenge politicsoutsidethe bedroom? to as to do so?)I deeply sense areaof our lives,why not in this area,if it makes that what I might do everyoncein a while any positionwhich asserts mistrust than what I do all the time with wonren. with someman is of moreimportance paperhashad suchan emotive the politicallesbianism The only reason the is that it alsorevises (generally effecton so many feminists depressing) is political.That slogan unit of our politics- the personal meaning of that basic which emerged from earlycottsciousness-raising an observation encapsulates of women's details groups. of the fact that the particular It wasan expression personal to most of us for the first time in the lives,which becameaccessible patterns reflected one theme: similarpatterns, WLM, reflected and all these by rnen. wt-lmen wereoppressed of our to just a few areas Wesawthat we did not needto limit our analysis everything. lives;we sawthe immensepolitical power of questioning The versionof 'the personal is political' implicit in the political lesbianism paperis somewhatdifferent. The paper'sauthorsseemto use this sloganas an truth. Because they have"strong political beliefs" unspecified sourceof absolute thosebeliefsare part of their personal identity and part of the truth of their being a strongbelief enoughto make it true lives.But is the fact of something or is political'never for all of us?'Thepersonal hasmeantthat any woman's group of women'spersonal feelingsor ideasbasedon those feelings could be into a political programme for all women. immediatelytranslatable in this papertrue? If "our heterosexual Vff:rat does make the statements (to us of woman-hating"is it not possiblethat their heterosexual sisters accuse

43
asexual and lesbian) sisters mightjust be right? saynothingof their bisexual, about what everyheterosexual TSeyjust go on and on makingstatements life is like, what sheshouldthink about it, what sheshoulddo abourit. wonran's that all women question than dentanding their experience and nrake Rather based on their new understandings, they justtett us what that decisicrns is and what it means. Furthermclre, they tell us that if we do not cxpcrience thcir truth and act on it in the way they tell us to - in effect,if we do accept party discipline then we arecollaborators with the enemy.Since 1()t accept groups generally shoot collaborators, the analysis resistance they present is c h i l l i n gt , o s a yt h e l e a s t . ruthcr in which'the personal Anotherrespect is political'hasbeenimplicitly revised n a n d d e b a t eh . r t h ep a p e r . ' t h e i s i n t h e a r e ao f p u b i i c d i s c u s s i o p e r s o n ai ls on the levelof "My politicsareof intense political'operates personal imporuance any attackon my politicsis equivalent to rneand therefore to an attackon me; you cannotattackrny politicswithout attacking me; furthermore, if ,I attackthe w^yyou liveyour personal life, since the personal is political,that is reallya politicalattack." I think it is in largelneasure this sort of perhaps unconscious of basicfeministtruths whichhasfueledthe firesof paranoia revision currently srrlatnpantwithin our movement and which benefits only our oppressors. Finally.I think that a fundamental difference existsbetween identifyrnsasa l c s l r i ao nn t h e b a s i s t l f p a r t i c u l aw r o r R a no l o v ef o r s o m e . r t r n t h e t a s i so f t o v e Irr 'i'onren in general, and identifying as a lesbian because you rejectnrenor think vou shouldor wishyou could rejectmen.I think that identifyingwith wonrellpositively, irrespective ot'the existence of men,is part of the process of gettingrid of the man in our head,our male-identified rejection and hatredof w()l.uen. I think that identifyingwith womennegatively, aspart of our hatred of men,not only doesnot get rid of the man in our hearl, it makes him ever morepowerful. The politicaleffectsof this paperarepotentiallydisastrous. It hasmademany fenlr.rists feel their own struggles are hopeless. It hasmademany feministsfeel the WLM is hopeless. It hasrnade many womenfeel rippedapart,with a public presence asserting their lesbianism and a privatefeelingthat they reallydon't know what they areand haven'tthe right to find out. They behave like they think lesbians shouldbehave, but thereis always one eye on the crowd to make surethey are doingthe right thing,and thereis this innerdesolation, this feeling that underneath they are neitherlovable nor angryjust scared and lonely.In fact we aremost of us scared and lonely most of the time, and that is not the fault of other women,it is the fault of malepowerand men. I think it is terriblethe way the paperdemands emotionalservicing from all other women,and blames all otherwomenfor the miseries of the lesbian ghetto. I wish that no woman would becomea political lesbian unlessshereally feels like lesbianisrn represents a freelychosen. happyidentification with another

44
in Then shewouldn't haveto be so miserable womanor other womenin general. duty. the nameof rcvolutionary liberation aswe know it today is not about making and women's Feminism our movement duty. If we wish to change in the nameof revolutionary sacrifices overcreating duty take precdence and revolutionary so that correctbehaviour let us do so,but let us act in women,then by all means loveand unity amongst t I don't givea fuck for of what we aredoing.Personally, full knowledge duty. revolutionary In sisterhood, DebbyGregory. and sizesgadually wearingaway at the stone of the patriarchy. all shapes we needevery ounceof woman energywe can muster.If the Meanwhile, movement can't be a placefor a// women, whatevertheir sexualitv. women's have little hope we of everachieving very much. then Joy Pitman,January1981.

45

A Reply from York paperwasdiscussed The political lesbianism in several open meetings and workin York. In eachdiscussion thereappeared shops to be a consensus supporting privatelyor publicly afterwards. the paperwhile many women disagreed we feel that this wasdue to the way the paperwaswritten, the authoritarianlanguage, the attempt to pre-emptdebateby dealingwith potential criticismthrough only, and the exclusionof the validity of women's askingcertainquestions experiences. Our reply takesthe form of comments part on the question/answer of the paper. a) Are heterosexual women the enemy? Women'sAid doesnot tell batteredwomen how to live their lives. Can feminist activity - Consciousness porn campaigns, raising, health groupsetc - really be nullified by heterosexual activity? The past showsgains for and by women, ourselves. b) & c) Wedon't do penetration. I enclose him. At the moment sexualityis definedby men. lr doesmake a differencewhat intercourse is called, and to dismiss'enclosure' as an attemptat re-definition impliesthat any challenge to the male definition of sexis useless. Also, are we to dismiss women'sexperiences of sexualenjoymentwith men as invalid delusions? d) I like fucking. Aren't women allowed to enjoy themselves? The paper's reply deniesany autonomous sexuality. The socialistanalogydoesn'twork givingup Capeapplescan't be equated with givingup heterosexual activity which for many women involvesquestions of income,housing, child custodyetc. e) It is easier for lesbians. All women are under attack and we can't escape by living with women. The fbrm of attack obviouslyvaries.Thereare privileges given to heterosexual wolnenbut there are many disadvantages suchas maleviolence,economic dependency and lossof identity.

Feminist SexualPolitics 'lesbian' is to rob it of any in this way (asin PoliticalLesbian) To usethe term Thoseof us orientation/preference/practice. asa description of sexual meaning - and suffered struggle to all the guilt, hiding,oppression, who werelesbians -before we were Movement come out without the supportof a Women's feministshavegood reasonto be angry at this denialof what it meansto us to be lesbians. to viewpoint(at its mostextreme)seems behindthe separatist The rationale women.Therefore . .) "Men oppress be oversimplifying. run: (yes,I know I'11 thereforewe must get rid of men are the enemy.Men will not/can not change, they are energyto men.Therefore womensupport/give men.Heterosexual bad as men etc . . ." The whole traitors/as colludingwith the enemy/are at several different points. There is a difference, argumentis open to discussion (the autonomyof the between separatism as a politicalmethodof organising in societyat WLM), a way of gainingstrengthbefore returningto the struggle as an end in itself. large-- and separatism the angerand frustration which leadswomen to declarethat the I understand I is to rid the world of men. Evenif you agree, only way to end our oppression that, or be allowedto. But beyond that, I fail to seehow we could everachieve feel that one of the important thingsabout feminismis the belief that the vny the type of end we will achieve. our ends,influences in which we try to achieve our attempts to do away structures, on non-heirarchical Henceour insistence I do not Genocideis a form of male power-mongering with power imbalances. of society,but not at the expense wish us to makeuse of. I want a non-sexist "men". turning wonlen(who know so much about creating)into destructive a future in which men will take part, men will haveto change. If we envisage Somewomen believethis will only happenif women withdraw their support totally from men. I don't believeall women are everylikely to want to do this. the desired Not all feministswant to do so, now. I'm not sureit would achieve the sort of change we want very effect if we did. I think we will only achieve slowly, and not in any one way - it will be more like millions of little drops of

46
areiucked up by powers{ruggles' f) lrsbian relatitrnships IIitisrecognisedthatlesbianscan'thaveperfectrelationshipsunder patriarchy'hy.an'theterosexualwomenmakethebestoftheirrelationships witlt rrrcn'l e better? tlffer sonlething g) Cany<-ru future whenafter abouta man-less Thereisn't rnuchpoint ilnlaving f'antasies L'i v i n g o p p r e s sion o f s t a t e a i n l e f t w e a r es t i l l t i r eu p l i f t o f b e i n gi n s p i r e d a c t i v t t y ' r e v o l u t i o n a r y i tfe i s n ' ta p r e - r e c l u i s o nctr r v i r h , r Lr it g r : i l tt r i p p e d ' nr eb e i n g l l t - ' t l t ea i i ) i l e t e r o s e x r lw guiit trippetlby irot beinggivencredit for knowingtheir own They are Lreing which makeother lit-estyles l'actors ol structural by rhe neglect ancl rninds, and this paperisn't the most ways in many ,lifficult..Thetruth' canbe tolcl rvaY. effective ThecffectthepapcrlraclinYorkwast0makeheterosexualw(}menthink w o m e nf e l t e a y 'T h e s e nt o t i n a c o n s t r u c t i vw a b o u tt h e i r r c l a t i o n s h i p s b u their relation(\ suspended temporarily from the women's Movenrent alienatecl heterosexuality, our about discussion more shipswith rnen.we'cllike to see as well as factors other by up is shored patriarchy and how privilege, sexual penetration.Thestartingpointfordiscussionneedstobeourfeelingsand continueto giveup heterosexual And clnetastihought,while wclmen experience. with this? to deal find patriarchy activity what wayswould Jan Maloney' DenaAttar, PennyBainbridge, 1981. FebruarY

47 and coutrnitment criticising.r I've the sincerity of the womon you'r'e r,,.ur sllect womyn are that lesbians who are not respectful of lleteroscxual .nn,. ,., believe heterosexual selves.2 tlgse who can't forgivetheir own previously you but think there'ssomething you to say that I respect ls it arrogant separatis atn d I t h i n k t h e r ea r et w o m a i nr e a s o n s / h a v e n '" t s e e n " .I ' m a l e s b i a n one isthat I'm growingin waysthat I could not haveforeseen soodef'fects: about madness ttregapbetween ivhenI wasstill with men.The thing you sai<i has separatism andreallife. For me lesbian livingat half strength oLrreveryday gap.It's actuallylivingin tlrat gap,outsidewhat into tl-rat beingstepping becniis in me to allow in for reality,and the jolt of doingthis hasmadecracks passes just and hints ciues, little twinklesof else.Tlie something elseis still sonrething you now? That I made love to myself more believe that I telepathise light.Would (not you how feel with a lover). That I masturbated reallyfelt myselfonce? l expect this very in the earth.3 all sounds fclt ltow deepthe rootsol a tree were very very in It's it's frightening living alsofeminism. Sometimes spiritull.It is. (me going glp are the world the others here) to changc but I think we and tliis t h i sw a y . is that we muststop nurturingmen. They rnustlearnto The other reason they will survive. Right otherand if they can't then I don't believe nurtureeach planet to womyn. I this they're a danger to all life on and most.especially norv know somemen arenicer than othersbut I've neverInet oneyet who wasable to give/receive emotionai supportto/from anotherman.They drainthe life force of frorr womyn in a very real way, quite apart from the institutional genocide womyn.I think the LeedsRev Femstook a greatrisk in writingthe Political paper.How I wisha heterosexual Lesbianism womon would reply to it in detail. Your reactionto it is that it is nothing to do with you or your life. Pleasesay privilege, more.4You clearlyunderstand you saythat menare heterosexual irrelevant to You alsosaidyou're afraidof relating and can't reallyunderstand. 'women are too important for me to trust myself with.' I really wonrynbecause needto understand what you meanby this. It sounds like a fearI had but I'm not sure. Stay strong, Dane. You are the Womyn'sLiberation Movement.And so am I. ln sisterhood, Paula Jennings. (WIRES88 (footnotesadded (1212181) in the light of recentlettersin WIRESand also asthe resultof discussions, mainly with JenniferKerr. Footnotes

DearDiane(Grimsditch)' timestrying to hear it several and re.read I,vejust readyour letterin Wires whatyou'resaying.Suchcourageandtrust-tobewritingdownyour|eelings by' feelrejected thernwith womyn you already andsharing is of you feelingthat one big A l've beentrying to sort out my impressions' ..tirem" ways.And the thing different of lots it in not you. You said the wLM is would rather hear a I that I know and your truth about truth. I c/o want to hear be mystified by a than mine' from difft"nt womon telling her truth, evenif it'' of phrases and uniform the adopted womon who haspainlessly 11d-goloSV the wLM. We haven't which hasnevertouched'her.And there is a lot of that in of yearsfor nothing' lived under male rule for thousands

I Reactions to the Political ksbianism papersuggest that heterosexual feminists Maybe don't feeltheir sincerity and commitmentis beingrespected. Irememberthefeelingofbeingcold-shoulderedbylesbianswhenlwasstill this is more to do with all the "shoulds" in the paperand with being withaman.ltenragedrne.Butlalsorememberbeingchallengedbylesbiansand that,althoughpainful,helpedmegrow.Supportivecriticismisonlypossibleif

48
'collaborators' than with the actualtheory of heterosexuality' as described haveoutlined the theory and includeda vision of a The papercould perhaps men. ie. Here are thegood thingswhich futuie wherewomen did not service withdrewthat support.This would be feminists if heterosexual couldhappen damning. and less moreencouraging implies and their choices for lesbians disrespect Heterosexual And viceversa. be' of the lesbianthey too could a fear (and unforgivingness) friendshavereactedangrily to this part of my letter, sayingthat Heterosexual which I attributeto my they too havehad the sortsof insights/experiences hasdefinitelymade All I can reply is that my lesbianism a lesbian. becoming ability to usemore bits ir me. Apart from feelingan increased greatchanges of I no longerhaveto endurethe contradiction in perceiving, of rrryself a and activity liberationasmy central for womyr1's havingthe struggle For and companion. confidant groupas my central of the oppressor member arenot unconnected. changes me these by a heterosexual of heterosexuality no analysis So far I've comeacross silence.In all the outraged feminist.Behind the angry noiseis a resounding paperthereis no realattemptto refute to the PoliticalLesbianism responses Nor is of malesupremacy. is the cornerstone the theorythat heterosexuality which feminism heterosexual it with a theoryof therean attemptto replace with men contributeto feminist relationships how emotional/sexual describes criticismof the Politicalksbianism paper I've readone detailed revolution. inherentin of the powerconnotations the question and that one sidesteps to rvl-rat lovers male their tell women that some sex by retorting heterosexual of equation the cultural and of fucking do in bed. (The culrural meaning from thesebeds')I've peniswith power is apparentlymagicallymissing the arguments misunderstanding if womenaredeliberately wondered them' answering to avoid in the paperin order conlained thereis frequentlythe indignant(and supposedly Instead of analysis us if we're question "But how will men learnto stop oppressing rhetorical) how to describe necessary considered It is not not thereto teachthem?" them. in changing effective more is leaving, than stayingwith men, rather of this focuson "teaching"men.It's assumed Further,thereis no questioning theoriesare not a new world and alternative to to be the obviousroute that they are ridiculedand so threatening (or areconsidered treated seriously within a ltisnot obviousthat directly confrontingthe oppressor disrnissed). is an effectiveroute to change. relationship that lesbianln recent feminist writings there hasevenbeenthe suggestion theory by from formulating feminists heterosexual arepreventing feminists and guilt-tripped that lesbians, paralysing them with guilt. It is overlooked to write down explanations invalidatedby the whole of society,still manage

49
that what is reallypreventing of our politics.I would suggest heterosexual from explaining positionis that it is the norm and therefore their feminists to not be requiring of any politicalanalysis. considered The currentdebate in WLM is not between two conflicting the setsof theory(i.e.lesbian and Thereis lesbian heterosexual). and/orseparatist theoryand reactions to it. I'd like to list someof thesereactions and commenton them. (a) "How dareyou tell me what to do?" Thisis a frequentresponse to any questioning of the norm. It is not criticism fearful a attempt but to stop questions that might lead to difficult changes. It is true that the PoliticalLesbianism paperactuallydoestell womyn what to the response do, so in this case is hardlysurprising. However, "How dareyou" etc. doesnot cometo gripswith the ideas in the paperand doesnot further the debate. (b) "This bears no relationto what I experience in my life." This is fair enough, but then we areleft wondering how the writer does experience her heterosexuality and how this relates to her feminism. (c) "You arecontravening the WLM demandof our right to a self-defined sexuality." To put forward a theory about the relationshipof heterosexuality to male supremacy is not the same asdenying a womon the right to be heterosexual. A theory canbe disagreed with (evenif it doescontaina numberof "shoulds"). If womyn havedifferent theorieswhich they find more convincingthen they'll presumably go aheadand live in accordance with them.what lesbians haveto contendwith in a heterosexist world is not just a theory. It is a socialrule backedup by punishments rangingfrom lossof job and childrento violence and murder. (d) "SinceRevolutionary (and other lesbians, Feminists presumably) don't haverelationships with men how can they be an authority on what those relationships are like?" Many,if not most,lesbian feminists wereonceheterosexual. Somewhere lurking in this response is the implication that lesbians arenot real womyn and cannot understand most womyn's concerns. This is an attempt to make our opinions irrelevant and therefore non-threatening. (e) "My heterosexual relationshipis not oppressive because my lover is under my thumb." This response impliesthat role reversal rather than the overthrow of male power is the goal of feminism,and that dominatinga malelover is somehow revolutionary.But why would any womon want to be in a relationshipwith a doormat?Besides, pomographycontainsmany images of "masterful" womyn discipliningnaughty men. While men continue to hold realpower in the world

50
thisis just a gameand a turn-on. paperin to the PoliticalLcsbianism Therehavebeenrnanymore responses complaint The most serious in general. particular and to lesbian-feminism a lo m y na r e )s t h a t h e t e r o s e x u w ( a n dI t h i n k i t u n d e r l i em s a n y0 f t h e o t h e r s i with the But if a womon disagrees ferninists. as serious bcinginvalidated of being then the charge that is beingproposed theoryof heterosexuality havebeen Lesbian-feminists is simplyirrelevant. or a collaborator unsericlus on the groundsthat we haveopted out of the "real of beingdefeatist accused with men". SinceI don't acceptthis definitionof "real struggle clay-to-day by beingcalleddefeatist. I am nt-rt inirnobilised struggle" ls but tlte answer shouldfeel invalidated It is not good that somefeminists womenwho write down their ideas. not to attackor silence Press, DearOnlyrvonren

51

+.

I wantedto write something in favourof the politicallesbian paper.I was whenseveral ofmy lesbian buddies wereoutraged, sftocked upsetand angry sp o i n t o 1 ' v i e w w i t h i t . T h a t i s . I w o u l dl i k e r o c ' x p r e s a t h a t i so u t s i d e theheteroa l t o g e t h ea rn d s a yh o w i t c h a n g e d s e x u allr a m e w o r k m e f r c l ma g u i l t y l e s b i a n or lesbian ferninist. into a politicallesbian My lesbian experience beganwhenmy dearest friend at University handedme a pieceof computerpaperon which waswritten 'l want your body'. After o f m a s s i vh ee a r tt r a u m a s s e v c r am l inutes I t o l d h e r I w a sn o t i n t e r e s t e d .u t a s B a s I h a dd e n i e d it I remernbere d a t I h a dd r e a m t soon th o f l y i n gi n b e c l with lrer te nrbrace i n p a s s i o n ae a,n d r n y r e s i s t a n c ce r u r n b l e dI. w o u l dn o t l i k e y o u t o t h a t w e l e a p ta t o n c ei n t o b e d .A f t e r t h i sd e c l a r a t i oin think t t o o k u s h o u r so f ' cxcruciating embarrassrnent to touch f ingers, daysot'coiledup agonyto and weeks ernbrace beforewe evenapproached the full expression ol'lhis love. I do not think this hesitation wasreallyabout t>urmutual pruderybut rather ()ur terror of this thing of passionate love between womenand our fear o1' outsideheterosexualtiy. stepping We werenot f'entinists and did not realize that in sorne circles it wasok, fine, evenlovelyto be lesbian, and of course, we did not think of ourselves aslesbian. I couldn'tevensaythe word, let aloneapply it to myselfor her. And for the yearthat we wereinvolved, we did not tell a soul. we scuttledout of each<-rther's room at 7 in the rnorning, takingseparate routes to the breakfast cafeand discreel showersand wees in the night. Suchwasour fear. M y l o v e rw a sa n A m e r i c a n a n d a t t h e e n d o f ' t h es u m m e r e t u r n e d to the States. Alter long periodof desperation at the lossof'her,I beganto realize that indeedwe werelesbians and anotherwholevolumeof grief roseup. The possibility of anotherrelationship with a womanseemed unlikely,I knew no womenwlro werealliesin any way,let alonelovers.I cannotdescribe the utter despair that the prospect of a f'uturewithout her or this cornpanionship with a wornanthrewon to me. For ages I did not teli anyone about her.- excepr for a woman whclthenattemptedto usethe fact of my 'perversion' against me. I startedto think of myselfas a'homosexual' and tried to find out if there werebarsor places wherepeoplelike me could meet.Finally I 'got of| with a straightwoman(a business woman)at a straight party and was lllled with hope fbr a weekuntil shephonedme to saythat her boyfrienddidn't like the idea and shewassorryetc. At that point I startedto believe that I would neverhavea passionate and equalrelationship again and that I wasdestined fbr sordidaffairs with fucked-up lesbians like myselfor straight womenwho liked to experiment but werenot serious. Finally I spentthe night with a youngerwonran-frienil of rninewho in the morningseenred to find the mernoryof the night appalling and disgusting. I too felt disgusted by my unnaturalfeelings.

62
to I started After a year of this,I drifted towardsfeminism.In thesecircles identity my real from separate completely I was still as bisexual. referto myself and they introducedme to a I knew werestraight The feminists asa lesbian. I worked issue. on the woman's perspectives socialist involved which feminisrn and had man alienated equally by an being fucked I was with NAC. Meanwhile g e t c o n t r a c e p t e d . t o l a r a s e v e ng o n es o womenbut until I met this man I had tried to straight This may soundabsurd overthe laid by various'boyfriends' get out of being to excuse possible every christian,then catholic,sayingI would years. Thishad meantbeingexcessively neverhavean abortion(so you betternot fuck me), I'm a bride of Christ(he's 'sorry I don't reallywant to'. But I of and a hundredrepetitions monogamous), to be he madeno pretence manbecause lovedthe sex with this alienated agonywhile fuckingand an attitudeof glorious it - we both assurned enjoying werebuilt from hatred. our orgasms Anyway, after gettinginvolvedwith a straightfeminist (boyfriendsin tow), I At this point I did not think of my still rurade anotherattempt at lesbianism. of deviation. asfeministor politicalbut asa question closeted-lesbianism it wasnice that all thesestraightfeministsthat I met did not Nevertheless, But to tolerateme completely. and they seemed to think me disgusting, appear that therewerecertainrulesin this world. lt wasok to be a lesbian it appeared - in publicor aroundpeoplewho as longasone didn't showit in certainareas might mind. the position of women and that wasthought to be Feminismchallenged the ordinary went too far and alienated but lesbianism pretty much acceptable, butch if I couldlook a little less asked beingdiscreetly (I can remember people I wasnot certainof it my lesbianism, in ro.pany). At this time I did not assert I still and wasstill afraid of my isolationdespitethe toleranceI received. thought of myselfas bisexualfor my own safetyand protection. I did not feel that at a crunch thesefeministswould standbehind me' that their loyalty was partial.I poseda threatto their ltormality.(I do not meanto blamethese was)' women:asI havesaid,I knew how terrifyinglesbianism 'Political lesbianism' paperhad such Anyway, all this is to explain why the feminismI thought what my problem an effect on me. When I first encountered because in life had been wasa questionof sexualorientation.I had beenstrange life did of my account this I wantedto havesex with women.BUT in someway women with have sex to not fit. The fact that it wasnow ok in lesbiancircles did not make any differenceto me. I did not believethat the way I was,was definedby the fact that I wantedto havesex with women.It felt more like a deepdesireto be free, to be a real woman. as a tomboy. I didn't want to play with As a child this meant beingclassified and very aggressive girlswho I thoughtweresilly' I wassportyand independent, this are, way things The or weakness. hated anything which reekedof wetness

53
I could never identify as'woman'.I hatedall the thingswhich tried to cut rneant 'woman'. This had nothingto do with sexor nreoff from myselfand makeme Why I had beencastout asa child,asan adolescent pleasure. and asa young I wantedto be a womanwho alsowantedto be free of the adult wasbecause of "femininity". Societyhad extremelysubtlecoercive constraints techniques to appliedright from the beginning. destroywomenlike me, and these Therefore it to me now that all the characteristics which challenge seems society's construc'woman' (tame, submissive etc) are categorized tion of the asdeviantor lesbian And for me to be tolerated characteristics. as a lesbian by feminists somehow the point about what I felt my self to be. My 'lesbianism' utterly missed had far more thanbeingsexually involved attracted to woman.But feminismseemed - that is all tltosethingswhich opposeand resistthe false to leavelesbianism 'woman' - in the sameplaceas before:assimplesexual of construction pref-e' ence. What I saw when I read the Political Lesbianism paperwasthat insideme was (womanattracted not a lesbian to woman- struggling for expression in a heterosexual world but a woman,a completely woman-defined-woman, struggling to be free of a world wherewomen must be shackledto the demands of men, including the demandfor sexualsubmissiveness. lrsbianism took on a completelynew light and I knew that throughthis paperI had at lastfound what I had beencut off from all my life, my selfas a woman. - | prefer And then I started to seethe wholetacticof sexual preference womenand you prefermen,let's tolerate eachother as a tactic to prevent wonlen from being themselves. I startedto seethe waysin which men use sex to control lesbians, that is, the tacticwhich says,'Youwomenwho dress like men, who seekto live independent of men,who are not available to maleadvances, sexuafor otherwise,arejust lesbians'. By reducingour oppositionto the male construction of the femaleto sexual orientation, a kind of genetic deviation which leadsus to hate men and grow facialhair, men effectivelygaveus images of ourselves and a fear of ourselves which crippled the possiblityof us developing a feministcritiqueof maledominated society, and worse, it prevented us from identifyingwith other womenor themidentifyingwith us. The paperalsomade me seejust how much malesusesex to control women whe.ther they seethemselves aslesbian or not. lrsbianismbecame to me the obviouspoint of resistance to malepower whichis expressed asporn, rape,prostitution, sexual abuse, purdah,infibulation, sexualharassment at work, on the streets, sexy, insulting. ads,forms of dresswhich either cripple us physically(footbinding, high heels) or morally (the silliness of so many clotheswe are coercedto wear),sex therapy (the variousways to get unwilling women to fuck). We arejust beginningto bring to light the atrocitiesmen perform on women and they are mostly to do with sex. I seemto havegoneon a bit, but the point I'm gettingat is that the Political le sbianpapersaid somethingthat wascrucial to me and I think for feminism:

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as a closet of rnyself I thclught pret-erence. sexuar is not abour that lesbianisnr a n dl o o k i n g p a p e r t h e r e a d i n g A f t e r r o l e r a n c e . J v t . u n , tt h o u g h tt h a t I n e c d e d I s a wt h a t w h a t l i g h t ' a n e w p a s t i n a t m y l o o k i n g a n d a t t h e w o r l di n a n e w l i g h t tow3rdswolllen urges I had beendelinedby all my life wasnot nly sexual had defined movement' f'eminist of the part (which is how the world, incluciing

oo

A COLLECTIVE STATEMENT FROM ONLYWOMEN PRESS

rne;.nutratlrerthat'longsidethousattdsofotlrerwt)|l]en(nranytllwht}tnllever of patriarchy' the ntechanisms c o n c e r n e dt o p u b l i s h w h a t I n p u b l i s h i n gt h i s p a m p h l e t w e w e r e e s p e c i a l l y put it irr sexualternrs)lliail simplybeenresisting tor women love nry separate cannot I p r o m o t e that g e n u i n e is llow a c t u a l l y w r o t e , t o d i a l o g u e ,i n t h e h o p e o f a v o i d i n g to ute women wlat this hasrneant growth mythology of other women's words of a where twisted versions the fromnlylovef-orwonlen-thepassionatefromthepolitical.Thet.actthatl as such and feminist' a t'm that except irrelevaltt me m o r e f e w y e a r st h e r e s e e mt o h a v e c u r r e n t t h e l n l a s t to than original. the become witlr woulenseelns sleep standinreslstancetomalepower.Anditseemstomethatcrucialtothemale is the useto which 1e puts his and our sexuality cortrol ol w'men in all splieres |ar frorn beingmerelya questit,l of so that control.And lesbianism, to facilitate poiitical' up asintensely lot-rms preference sexual N o w a d a y s l d o n ' t k n o w w h a t l c s b i a n i s m i S . I t i s n ' t | o r m e'attracted' aboutbeing as I find myself .attracted,toworilen.I don't know what that nreatrs tOsomernales(ifattractioninvolvesthat|urrnysenseofmlnmllt.).Whenlread I find I lesbian agowho didn't cali themselves bookswritten by womenyears and the like who women'spinsters identify with their words.who wereall these I don't careif they slept wh.oformedlife-longcompanionships? livedtogether., to be a strateS/ appears It didn't! pity if they a it seenrs although together, often' | l'eelwe had' t. be object as an sex just emphasise to now oipatriarchy the testol relationsexualrelations mustn'tjusiimitate their world and nrake it because non-monogamy on feminism in emphasis the shipsoL politics.I fear and aswonten all our differentwaysof beingtogether rriesto iull together reducethemtosex.ItiStothecreditofthePoliticalLesbianpaperthatit - the powerdimensiotl the politicsof sexuality to emphasise attempts representedbyheterosexualityandlesbianism-ratherthanthepleasureof sexuaiity'Thehistoryoflesbiarrismislriddenfroml"ristorynotbecausethe is of womenmakinglove to women(aslong as lesbianism world ls frightenecl wanks even it, it call copewith the patriarchy preference as a sexual constructed someto represent is seen lesbiatrism actsin porn),but because lesbian il, our"ir. we now for is, that ", now until elusive to society, and clangerous thingelusive of limits the it signals that awareof its politicaldimensions: arebecoming selves patriarchY. In sisterhood, W Jessic aood ,19l218l
n u m b e r o f a t t a c k so n l e s b i a n s i n t h e m o v e m e n t ,o f t e n d e s b e e na n i n c r e a s i n g f e a r l e s b i a n s a s o f t a k i n g o v e r t h e m o v e m e n t- a st h o u g h l e s b i a n s were cribed e x p e r i e n c e n o t f e m a l e w o m e n , t h o u g h t h e l e s b i a n s w e r e a l s o as of not experience. I t i s t r u e t h a t t h e r e h a s o f t e n b e e na n u n d e r c u r r e n ti n l e s b i a nf e m i n i s t p o l i t i c a l d i s c o u r s ea , f e l t b u t r a r e l ye x p l i c i t l y s t a t e d w i s h t h a t a l l w o m e n w e r e o r could be lesbian, o r a f e e l i n gt h a t t h e y s h o u l d b e . W e w a n t t o g i v e c r e d i t t o t h e i n t e n t i o n o f t h e L e e d sp a p e r i n b r i n g i n gt h i s o u t i n t o t h e o p e n . H o w e v e r w e f e e l in this. gave little or no attention to the that the Leedspaper, while successful s n d c o m p l e x i t y o f w o m e n ' se x p e r i e n c eT w e i g h t ,d e n s e n e sa . he women's l i b e r a t i o nm o v e m e n th a s s p r u n gf r o m w o m e n ' s d e s i r e sf, r o m t h e c o n c l u s i o n s women have drawn f rom the processof consciousness-raising among women, e x a m i n i n go u r o w n e x p e r i e n c e n , o t f r o m a p r o g r a m m ew h i c h w o m e n m u s t f o r c e themselvesto conform to. S h i f t i n g a s e x u a l / p o l i t i c aild e n t i t y i s n o t , a f t e r a l l , l i k e c h a n g i n gy o u r c l o t h e s , o r , t o r e c a l lt h e e x a m p l e u s e d i n t h e p a p e r ,l i k e g i v i n gu p C a p ea p p l e s .M o s t o f u s who have either become or acknowledgedourselveslesbianshave been through a difficult, complexand often painful process o f c h a n g e ,b y n o m e a n so v e r . l t h a s , elf-questioning m e a n t q u e s t i o n i n gs c,h a n g i n go u r l i v e s ,l o s i n ga n d g a i n i n g f r i e n d s .l t c o n t i n u e st o b e a p l a i n , h a r d , s o m e t i m e s e x h i l a r a t i n gb u t n o n e t h e l e s s extremely daily and bit-by-bit struggle.The nature of this struggleoften only b e c o m e sc l e a rv e r y g r a d u a l l ya s t i m e g o e so n : i t i s r a r e l y a s i m p l e q u e s t i o no f fully-informed choice. For instanceit is hardly possibleto believethat paople w i l l t h i n k y o u y o u r s e l fs i c k , p i t i a b l e ,d a n g e r o u so , r unfit to be a mother o'to do certain iobs, or to imagine howdeeply this can affect your own consciousness, u n t i l i t h a s h a p p e n e dt o y o u . We feel that it is essentialto recognizeand respectthe living complexity of women's lives,and the intelligence with which we make our choices.Wt: are d e a l i n gh e r e w i t h i s s u e s w h e r e o u r t h i n k i n g i s w e i g h e dd o w n w i t h d e e p l y ingrained patriarchal attitudes and where it is easy to feel ourselvespersonally threatened by other women's dif ferent positions. The heterosexualresponseto lesbianfeminist utteranceshas been sometimesso defensiveas to prevent hearing what rare say.

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s " s e x u a l i t yt.h a t t iy h a t h e t e r o s e x u a l i" t h e a s s u m p t i otn w e m u s tq u e s t i o n hat e b e " n a t u r a l l y "l i k et h a t .w e d o n o t a s s u m t m o s tw o m e na r ea n d w i l l a l w a y s anyformofsexuaIbehaviour,particu|ar|yonesoconscious|yengineeredand dominant a. n dp o l i t i c a l l y . conomically f o r s o l o n gb y t h e c u l t u r a l l ye controlled f l a t s ,t h e h i g h r i s e t h a n " n a t u r a l " n o m o r e s H e t e r o s e x u a l i t y snatural. c l a s si, women heterosexual feel that we religions. maior the of any or neutronbomb i nevitably l e s b i a n s a s r i s k o f l e v e l t h e s a m e a t d o i n g a r e t h e y w h a t m u s tc o n s i d e r especially, or even, cannot granted. They for nothing is, taking that haveto do . e m u s ta l s o i s " n a t u r a l "o r a g i v e n w t h a t t h e i rs e x u a l i t y t a k ef o r g r a n t e d Heteroreproduction' and sexuality between connection accepted the challenge p o w e r fuo l ne. , c o n s t r u c tt,h o u g ha n e x t r a o r d i n a r i l y i s a n i n s t i t u t i o na sexuality by upon women and enforced maintained This institutionhasbeencreated, of everywhere' women, all oppress is to purposes, of which one for their men, descriPtion. whatever t, hat men tothe patriarchy snot a solution h a t l e s b i a n i s im W eu n d e r s t a ntd n o t theonly s o b v i o u s l y H e t e r o s e x u a l i t y n o n e t h e l e s s . g o o n u s o p p r e s s i n g will it doesseemto be a women:however institutionthroughwhich men oppress feministis mostvital to oura lesbian of becoming key one.The significance will certainlybe used we find in comingtogether the strength although selves, one a greatdeal teaches a lesbian of women.Becoming the oppression against punish thosewho do not to privilege: available the sanctions about heterosexual c o m p l ya r em a n ya n dv a r i o u s . of lesbian or the pleasures the problems It is very difficult to appreciate ssuppressed, e x p e r i e n ci e e:s b i a n r o m w i t h i n h e t e r o s e x u a l i tly e x i s t e n cfe women - vw know this and this is why we demandthat heterosexual repressed to what we say. listencarefullY about criticising makeno boneswhatever womengenerally Heterosexual a s s i oa nn d le a n dw i t h c o n s i d e r a bp n,d e p t h .i n d e t a i l , e h e t e r o s e x ur a l l a t i o n s h i pis h e t e r o s exual r o m a n da m o n g isacceptabf le l t. s e e m s t h atth i sc r i t i c i s m bitterness acted have we perhaps because feminists women,but not often from lesbian of acting- radically the possibility and conseguently upon thosecriticisms possibility have to to find this an uncomfortable exists. Somewomenseem with to remaininvolved but choose our challenge around.othersunderstand men. heteroof women's for discussion Wewould like to expandthe possibilities express our to and to be allowed both pastand present, experience, sexual we havemuch in common:we areall at that experience. bianfeministanger les to we choose treatedas"women" by men,however womenand areall always dealwith that. you Unless experience' somekind of heterosexual No womanescapes lesbian or either that one must be born to one of the old theories subscribe on views women's to hearlesbian for refusing thereis no excuse heterosexual, relationshi Ps. heterosexual

57
w e w a n ta l s ot o s p e a k f r e e l yo f w h a t i t ' s l i k e t o l i v ea sl e s b i a n feminists. Thoseof us wfro are lesbian feminists areso,amongother reasons, because we enjoy it. lt is a clearer, moreconsistent and more integrated life,and our energy for ourselves is more available and eachother.we do haveto contendwith the ureight immense of the world'santi-lesbian views,feelings andactionseveryday (some of it coming from inside ourselve sn d s o m ef r o m o u r s i s t e r s ) a . ut many B of us havefound that livingamongwomenhashelpedus to gaina sense of integrity.to escape self-hatred, to an extent which we would not havebelieved possibli e n o u r h e t e r o s e x ud aa l ys. T h i si s t o t a l k o f a r e - o r i e n t a t i o nu c n m o r e m profound t h a n t h e r e l a t i v e ls yi m p l e p r o c e so sf s l e e p i n w g i t h d i f f e r e n tp e o p l e a :n i n t e r n as l h i f t f r o m m a l e - i d e n t i f i c a t ito onw o m a ni d e n t i f i c a t i o n . Alexandra Stone Anna Wilson JackieBishop Lynn Alderson L i l i a nM o h i n MariaJastrzebka SophieLaws Sheila Shulman Statements from individualmembers of the collective

Although I agree with much of the collective statement and believe it needs to be said,therearesomeother pointsand different kindsof perspectives that I t h i n k I m u s tm a k ei n d i v i d u a l l y , The f irst is that I believe that the mainsplit in the movement is between two different kindsof politics.This split often manifests itselfaroundtne i s s u eo sf l e s b i a n i s a mn d h e t e r o s e x u a l is ty ince i t i sa ne a s i l y identifiable crunch-poin atn da n i m p o r t a n e t l e m e n itn t h e p o l i t i c i s a t i oo nf t h e p e r s o n a l . sexualityalsobeingsupposed by men to be the essence of the relationships between men and women.To characterise the positions briefly:_ (1) if you acceptfeminismonly asone part of a wider struggle for humanrights;accept the politicsof gradual reform of existing institutions and attitudes; believe that it is not only worthwhile.but properwork to be trying to change men. t h e n t h e r ei s n o t h i n gi n c o n s i s t e n atb o u tw o m e ns l e e p i n w g i t h m e n ,e v e ni f you don't do it yourself.Lesbians who hold theseviewsseetheir sexuality asmerelya question preference. of personal (21 lf however you believe that the patriarchy is the root of all forms of oppression, that all men benefitfrom and maintainit and are,therefore, to be seenasthe enemy;that the powerbalance cannotbe changed by reason,

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p a t i e n c ea n d s i m p l y r i g h t b e i n go n o u r s i d e ; a n d f u r t h e r t h a t w o m e n m u s t build positions of autonomous strength through and with each other - then it t o , a t t h e s a m et i m e , b e i n c l o s es e x u a l / e m o t i o n a l i s c l e a r l ya b i g i n c o n s i s t e n c y relationships with men. feministcan live N o w , I d o n o t t h i n k t h a t t h a t m e a n st h a t t h e l e s b i a n . o a v e r y r e a le x t e n t , I t h i n k w e a l l s i m p l y c h o o s e without contradictionsT w h i c h c o n t r a d i c t i o n sw e w i l l t r y t o l i v e w i t h . B u t i f y o u s e e k t o s h a r ey o u r oe f y o u r l i f e w i t h y o u r l o v e ra n d p o l i t i c sa n d y o u r u n d e r s t a n d i n g / e x p e r i e n c you do not believea man can be a feminist or ever really comprehend what it is to be a woman, then clearly the two become incompatible. lf a woman choosesto live that contradiction, then I would not want to "judge" thatshe s h o u l d n o t . I w o r k p o l i t i c a l l y w i t h w o m e n w h o d o p r e c i s e l yt h a t , b u t w i t h whom I do sharean approach to politics as a whole (loosely described as and t h e y a r e o p e n a b o u t t h e i r c o n f l i c t i n gd e s i r e s r a d i c a lf e m i n i s m ) . B e c a u s e p a s s i o n a t e l y o f c r i t i c a l s u c h perceptions a n d , i n d e e d ,o f t e n m u c h m o r e lam open about the conflicts relationships than I would be - and because loyalty other's and respecteach other's I experience,we can trust each intention. T h i s b r i n g sm e t o m y s e c o n dm a i n p o i n t , w h i c h c o n c e r n si n t e g r i t y a n d p r o c e s sW . h e n w e a s f e m i n i s t sd i s a g r e eg , e n u i n e l ya n d t h o u g h t f u l l y a b o u t w h a t politics we each choose whichever feminism, of are the effective/appropriate (ourselves). hold these beliefs dear, they for We believeto be better women vrre position left with is a liberal The we are us. matter agreat deal to all of raises that toleration to a What differences, not agreement. toleration of our position of respect and not just indifference or contempt is a belief in each other's integrity, as exemplified by how we perceiveeach other's practice and process.lt's a kind of political morality, basedon the valuesof .e c o n s c i o u s n e s s - r a i s in g. t h e h o n e s ts h a r i n go f d i f f e r e n t l i f e e x p e r i e n c e s . and the belief that that processis integral to common oppression analysisof revolution very different from the traditional a intend to achieve what we f r o m a m u c h m o r e r a d i c a ls o l i d a r i t y ' w i l l a r i s e m o d e l , o n e w h i c h leftist foreither I t h i n k t h e v a l u e ss t i l l h o l d g o o d a n d s h o u l d n o t b e s a c r i f i c e d or out of the superficialshort-term gain, apparent greater effectiveness y e a r s E x a m p l e s s p r i n gt o m i n d t h i c k e x p e r i e n c e . l a s s i t u d e o f s o m e cynical h i s t o r y t o make political o u r f a s t , h a v e I s e e n ' f e m i n i s t s ' m i s r e p r e s e n t and capital; try to co-opt us into party politics or personalsolutions; personally intimidate other women with a wide variety of weapons such as class. - l ' m s u r et h a t e v e r y a r t i c u l a c y ,p h y s i c a lv i o l e n c e ,r a d i c a lo n e - u p - w o m a n s h i p one knowsthe kindsof things I meanthat make you doubt the intention and integrity of the woman concerned, whoever she sleepswith. We must somehow create bonds of trust between ourselvesand commitments to each other as women involved in the same struggle.To do that on a basis

59
of honesty rather t h a nt o t a ls i m i l a r i t y e t o a t t e m p te i t h e r m i g h tb e p o s s i b l_ to paper o v e rt h e c r a c k s , w i t h o u tq u e s t i o n i n g criticisino gr explaining our differences or to insistthat thereis only one true way would be as fatal for o u r m o v e m e na t s b e l i e v i ntg h a t t h e r ei s a n a t u r a a l n da b s o l u t e division between heterosexual womenand lesbian women.
Lynn Alderson

For the first few years that I was in the wLM I beronged,roughry, to tne s e c o n do f t h e 2 c a t e g o r i e s o f p o l i t i c a l t h o u g h t w h i c h L y n n A l d e r s o nd e s c r i b e s , but I wasn't a lesbian.This inconsistency,this gap between what I had come t o b e l i e v e( p r i n c i p a l l yt h r o u g h c o n s c i o u s n e srs a i s i n g )a n d h o w I w a s l i v i n g w a s a s i t u a t i o n I f e l t I h a d t o j u s t b e a r . I c o u l d n ' t s e et h a t I h a d a n y right to try ro h a v ea s e x u a lr e l a t i o n s h i p with a woman just because I h a c jt h i s p r o b l e m w i t h a logical inconsistency.Moreover, I knew that loving women must be, indeed. l o v i n g ,o r I w o u l d b e b e t r a y i n gn o t o n l y a n o t h e r w o m a n b u t m y s e l f ana the theory. I h a d b e e n p e a c e f u l l ym o n o g a m o u s r y m a r r i e d f o r 1 6 y e a r st o a m a n w h o c a l l e dh i m s e l f a f r i e n d o f f e m i n i s m ( k n e w e n o u g h n o t t o d a r e c a l l h i m s e l fa f e m i n i s t ) . M y c h i r d r e nl i k e d t h e w a y w e r i v e d .l t s e e m e d difficurt to imagine taking responsibility f o r c h a n g i n ga l l t h e i r l i v e sb e c a u s e l . d c h a n g e da p a r t o f my mind. I s p e n t a g r e a td e a l o f t i m e a n d e n e r g y i n m o v e m e n t w o r k w i t h other radical feminists and when I fell in love with one of them it didn't seem a question of l o g i c o r c o n s i s t e n c i e( sa l t h o u g h ,o f c o u r s e ,i t w a s i n a w a y . ) [To explainhow I got past the combined (for me) taboos of infidelity and lesbianism is more t h a n I c a n m a n a g ei n t h i s n e c e s s a r i l y b r i e f s t a t e m e n t . l T h a t r e l a t i o n s h i pw a s m u c h m o r e c o m p l i c a t e dt h a n , l o g i c ,i m p l i e so r c a n e n c o m p a s s , taking in so m u c h o f m y s e l f , m y t h i n k i n g a s w e i l a s a i l m y s e n s e sl.t w a s n , tj u s t the reratively s i m p l ea c t o f s l e e p i n g w i t h a w o m a n .o n l y b e c a u s e s o m u c h w a s i n v o l v e dw a s i t possible t o c h a n g em y l i f e , t o b e c o m ea l e s b i a n . I h a d n o i d e a h o w d i f f i c u r t i t w a s g o i n gt o b e . N o t j u s t t h e m e s s surrounding l e a v i n gm y h u s b a n d ,r o s i n go n e o f m y c h i r d r e n ,f i n a n c i a ri n l e c u r i t y , r o s so f privilege,safety and status, but what it means and continues to mean to oe a l e s b i a ni n t h i s w o r l d - t h e w e i g h t a n d f o r c e o f b e i n g , w r o n g , ,, b a d , , . w i c k e d . , 'perverted', outside and ultimately apart from the codes and concepts of e v e r y o n ee l s e- v u l n e r a b l ei n t h e e x t r e m e . And I had no idea how good it was going to be. Not only the warmth, the f e e l i n go f b e i n g o n t h e s a m es i d e ,t h e s e n s u a r i t yf,r i e n d s h i p . rereasee dnergy, but the freedom to begin to think and act in new ways. This freedom of t h o u g h t i s l a r g e l yp o t e n t i a l . B u t t h e d o o r i s o p e n .

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In 1973 | acted,in part, out of a beliefthat it is importantnot to have spentthe last 8 years with men. But I haven't relationships emotionaUsexual men, from and against apart I work course. of simply not beingheterosexual, political for my impetus the no longer accepted, but that's in the background, what it can mean on women,on creating activity.My politicalwork is focused ground I standon. theoretical the to be women.Daily. I attemptto invent can and must we women patterns for the pre-existing Thereare no acceptable women, on concentrating political is about lesbian For me, beinga become. This is not to say these. achieve how to use,develop. our strengths, our needs, lesbian or the work a becoming before I did feminist work the I repudiate that that lesbianism. I believe However, feminists. radical heterosexual by done for feminists' to feminism.necessary politicallesbianism, is necessary L i l i a nM o h i n

61
t h a t y o u a r ef i g h t i n g the'real'battle b e c a u sy eo u a r e ' o u t t h e r e ' d e a l i n w g ith men, boys,the realworld. (whose realworld). we'veall saidthat several times but it seems to bearrepeating. alsoyou shallquestion the assumption that heterosexuality is yours,a freegift with everychromosonalpackand that i,m not like that because i waseither born missing or grewup missing. if you want to go on beingheterosexual, that'sok. but i want you to think about the fact that you're doingit because you want to. you areresponsible for being h e t e r o s e x ua l i t ' s n o t l i k e t h e c o l o u ro f y o u r e y e s a . n d f i n a l l yi s h o u l dl i k e you to consider how you actuallyfeel about lesbian feminists: sometimes. i s u s p e ct h a t y o u , t o o , r e a l l y t h i n k w e ' r ea b n o r m a ls , i c k ,i m m a t u r ew , arpedby-terrible-adolescent-experience, freaks- or you'd be out male-identified herewith us. Anna Wilson

but you needfor explanations. else's i,m a bit tired of my own and everyone - whereit's easier school boarding to i vrrent because lesbian could say i'm a (all you needis a little to find sexualexpression. feelings for inappropriate to therewasno access where parental control?)' of lack brief a opportunity, (why in wait women' caring intelligent, warm. to access ample and males tediouslimbo when womenhad so much to offer?)whereone doesn'thaveto r o l e i n o r d e rt o h a v ea sf t h e f e m i n i n e o n e s e lw f i t h t h e h u m i l i a t i o no burden of lookingnice/likea (maybe contortions us the for of persona. some sexual to bear?) a r eh a r d e r g i r l i n o r d e rt o p a s s - but noneof them mattervery much now' be reasons thesemay, perhaps, tor e r d e s i r a b lb el u e p r i n f t h e y a r e n ' ta p o s s i b l o m e . t o o n l y d o , or if they solidity. ineradicable an give lesbianism my they but world. the changing l eliefs didn'tfall in s o l i di f m y p o l i t i c a b p e r h a pis t w o u l df e e lt o m e l e s s to be in contrast. appear. would feminists heterosexual readily. so me behind that makes in something investments pulledtwo ways.havingheavypersonal thereare many waysone may choose them (l hope)politicallyuncomfortable. few very clearto me why relatively it seems this sort. of a dilemma to resolve is a it lesbianism: of direction in the resolve to choose women heterosexual - sick new burden a whole of on taking the requires that resolution doubtful thereisn't of privilege. for the guilty pleasures twistedin exchange abnormal with light is strung the truth the way the only available choice free much be to chosen felt i'd actually i if and free drinks and notices encouraging here i came ought' women position other to say better in a be i might here placeto be,but that's not the same. and i think it's the mostcomfortable you women,nonetheless. to makeof heterosexual i havecertaindemands the assumption you shallquestion your assumptions. in particular shallquestion

So you demandall feminists become lesbians. That is,as I readthis, to stop having sexualrelationships with menasa politicaldemonstration heteroagainst sexuality.But not fucking is not the end of heterosexuality asinstitutionand compulsory lifestyle. our oppression aswomen,nor is it lesbianism. ln identifyi n g a sa l e s b i a n t h es t r u g g l e le isnot in giving ; sa p l e a s u r a b a up fuckinga ddictive commodity like coffee,sugar, cigarettes. Neitheris lesbianism an intermediary politicalstrategy to be useduntil suchtime comes as the boyslearntheir lessons, manners a,n da p o l o g i z e . o t s os i m p l e . N As a feminist I c o n f r o n tt h e o p p r e s s i oa g i r l sa n d nn d v i o l e n c e in our livesas women.I am lesbian, a woman-identif ied woman,in my commitmentto - emotional acknowledge the intensityof the feelings and sexual- | havefor women. I am stillaskingmyselfWHY. Not in selfdoubt, but to re-assert my choices a n d i d e n t i t y .m y v i s i o n sa ;lways building a n e wa g a i n stth e v i o l e n c e of heterosexistdenials of my existence, the prejudice and fears. I too demand of heterosexual feminists that they acknowledge their choice, that they areand havechosen to be heterosexual, to seethe privileges and rights accorded them asmembers of a dominantclass. I want them to doubt their reality,questioning in whosepowerlaysthe d e s i g nT . hinking s e r i o u s la y n ds p e a k i n g W , H Y ,a s I h a v e h a dt o d o . I d o n ' t w i s h their examination to be in selfdefence, but from doubt and mistrustbecause we haveall beenliedto. Alexandra Stone

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at school. womenwaspossible becoming awarethat lovebetween I remember in thosedays.The lastthing I wantedto Not that I wantedto call it lesbianism a b e w a sa ' l e z ' ,e v e nt h o u g hI ' d b e e ni n l o v ew i t h a g i r l . l t w a s n ' t i l l l ' d b e c o m e of and chopping and changing feministmuch later- after a lot of confusion - that I began But I to saythe word lesbian with confidence. sexuality or electricity, remember beingawarethat something, a warmth.intelligence passed womenand wondering why no one elsesawit. Boyscame, between "adulthood". marriages, and for most of my friendsan end to all that. whatever womenget a chance to I feel l've seen so many times,whenever It's a process (at get by etc) divided men again. together work, at college but come disappointed by women,probablymost At times I know l've felt personally nearest lesbians then backed off, caught by those who came to being and of all snable p r e s s u r ec sl.o s i n g o f f v i t a lp a r t so f t h e m s e l v ep se , r h a pu i n f a m i l yo r s o c i a l to believe . o m e t i m eIst h i n k , w e l l t h e y m u s tb e a w o m a ni s g o o de n o u g hS h a p p y .O t h e rt i m e sI d o n ' t b e l i e v e i t . I ' m g l a dt o s e ew o m e nc o m i n go u t i n t h e , oving a w a yf r o m e m o t i o n a l / e c o n o m i c W L M ,s l o w l y , s o m e t i m ep sa i n f u l l y m findingtheir strengths, lovingother on men,findingthemselves, dependence women.lt'ssuch a reversal of the usualprocess. In quite a uniqueway the supportof other womenin the WLM hashelpedmany of us comeout. Somewithout that support.Well many don't I times I wonderhow we evermanaged t h i n k . B u t i t i s n ' tn e a r l y e n o u g hL . i v i n gi n a g h e t t o- w h i c hi s w h a t i t a m o u n t s t o - i s n ' te a s y . for But I alsowant it to be possible So l'm gladwhen womenare lesbians. for it to become morewomento be lesbians, a realoption. I a realchoice, areautobelieve sleeping with a womanis a politicalact. Not that all lesbians matically Having brokenone of the biggest revolutionaries. rulessometry to in m a k eu p f o r i t b y b e i n g conservativ eallelseb , eing straighte tr h a nt h e just "like everyone provingv\, 're elsereally".Or on a more subtle straights, level,rnre may try not to be too 'heavy'(or too butch.or whatever it is seems to groupsit seems offend most;like other oppressed we'retolerated as long as we don't become I say this asa Polishlesbian too vocalor too sureof ourselves). who'sspentyearstrying to be extra nice. l e a n i n gl.t p u t sy o u i n a p o s i t i o n h a sp o l i t i c a m of S l e e p i nw g i t h a m a na l s o l i,k e i t o r n o t . W h i c hi s n ' t t o s a ya l l h e t e r o s e x u a l enjoying h e t e r o s e x up ar l ivilege womenfeelgood about it. and somearetrying to fight the institutionof hetero o p l a yi n i t a l l e i t h e r .B u t o u r s e x u a l i t yn , o t l i k i n gt h e p a r tt h e y ' r es u p p o s etd experiences aren'tthe same.lf heterosexual womendon't listento what we're to be a woman.They don't see sayingthey missa vital part of what it means - the repression lesbianism of our sexuality, how the taboo against the negation from men and loyalty to one another- dominates all of our independence lives.Althoughit's us,as lesbians, women's who feel it mostdirectlyand are lookingat how womenareforced often forcedto seeit mostclearly.lt means

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63
into heterosexuality and how we areail activery discouraged androrprohibited f r o m b e i n gl e s b i a n s . o t h a t i t i s n ' tg o o de n o u g h t o s a y :y o u ' v eg o t y o u r s e x u a l preference as n d l ' v eg o t m i n e . . . l t ' s a b i g ,l i b e r a l i e i n a w o r l d w h e r ea l l t h e dice are loaded you growingup a dyke. against MariaJastrzebska

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I seem to havebecome a politicallesbian, though I never consciously decided that that waswhat I intended to be, and I haveneveradvocated political lesbianism for other women,I found relationships with menoppressive, and r e s o l v etd o l i v ew i t h o u ts e x u arl e l a t i o n s h i pb se , l i e v i nm g yself to beunable to relate sexually to women.I did not performthe act of faith which is sometimes demanded of heterosexuar womenby resbians, to reave menexpecting to d i s c o v ea r suppresse ds b i a n le ( a n yw o m a nc a n . . . ) . sexuality But it happened anyway. I wondernow whetherI wasnot so afraidbecause of somesubconscious fear of the intensityof my feelings for women,but I remember clearly,in contrast, the deadfeelingin me when I searched my soul for sexualattractiontowards women.I did not fear beingostracised - I did not really understand asa lesbian what that would mean.

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heir , h a l l e n gte sl o s e l yc t h e i rf e e l i n gc t h a t w o m e ne x a m i n e W e m u s td e m a n d description good faith their in take must we But beliefin their heterosexuality. wasan extremelycomprehenmy sexuality Reorienting of what they discover. describe' to process difficult very siveand subtle is relationship s l iit y o f l e s b i a n a n dt h e p o s s i b value hepositive A s s e r t i ntg to men. relating about need to all they know mostly centralto this, for women womenare takingthis decision? But what arethe real reasons of my self, my own My sense pursuit happiness. of in For myself,it was distortedby a in relationships i6velvement my b\/ violated humanintegritywas I s olution, i n d i v i d u a l f o r a n p o w e r . t r y i n g A f t e r o f grossly u n e q u ab l alance patriarchy had the ight tof need The friendship. women's and optedfor celibacy survival emotional years my own but then. for part consciousness of my been way to exist' to me to be a sane primary.This seems wasalways them. I had tried to change effect on an have to order in men I did not leave gave I left. I wasquite sorry, years up when | for many particularly one man gy I w a sa b a n d o n i nm m e n . a l l o f d e s p a i r i n g I w a s t h a t f e l t t h e n i n a w a y ,a s I better into men change straightforwardly could liberation beliefthat women's fear h u m a nb e i n g sI. t h e nf e l t f o r t h e f i r s t t i m e w h a t l s t i l l f e e lt o d a y :e n o r m o u s ever succeed' can liberation women's how about and despair my own old boyfriendhas I haveneverfound that any manexceptperhaps mattermy celibacy. for that or lesbianism, my by threatened felt especially it' feel about how they men ask not I do Admittedly from men can createa women,livingseparately and celibate Lesbians , , w o m e n 'c so m m u n i t y "- i n l a r g e to allow enough a c o m m u n i t yl a r g e cities question such is whether The from men. away completely life a social feminists w W h e t h e r hat m a l e s u p r e m a c y ' o n i m p a c t h a v e a n a n d s u r v i v e c a n a community political force, or into a itself grouping transform partly can a social is at least N one r e v o l u t i o n a r y ? b e i n i t s e l f g r o u p i n g m a y p o l i t i c s a s u c h i n s e x u a l whether can be revolution problem women's how a of the have solved to claim of us can broughtabout. SoPhieLaws

65
thoughtotherwise. I wasafraid I would not be seen as (or be) enoughlike other women.I might not evenbe one,quite. Overthe yearsmy sense of myselfasa lesbian hasbecome clearer and clearer, not without work and pain and conflict. I realised moreand morethat my feminismwasrootedthere- in my body and in my experience and in my lovefor my womenfriendsthat went further back and deeper than anything elsein me. My anger camefrom a sense of wastedlife and a recognition of how much I had beenliedto and of how much I had had to lie evenand especially to myself,but the realfuel wasa passion of friendship. I found that in some ways,at last,lfelt whole,and could breathe, and that I wasseeing througna w h o l es e r i e o sf vicious m i n d - f u c k sI.w a sl e a r n i n g a n d u n l e a r n i na gt t h e s a m e time, and I knew I could do both only amongwomen.lt seemed to me that I wastrying to live in a world that didn't existyet, that I had to make it, out of nothingand out of buriedand silenced bits of the past.I could not makeit alonebut only with other womenwho had stepped off the same cliff with n o t h i n gb u t t h e i rn a k e da n d l a r g e l y unknown s e l v e sT . o t h i s e f f o r t ,e x c e p r as an obstruction, men wereand are irrelevant. without metaphors, the very air I needin orderto stay alive,the groundthat I standon, is whatever we _ ano tor me "\/e" is mostlylesbran feminists because it is with them I share a passion - havemade,can make,are and a visionand a commonexperience making. Forme lesbian feminism i sa p o l i t i c s indistinguishab lo em my bones fr or blood or strained and aching consciousness, or for that matterfrom my occasional moments of joy or exhilaration. I have, therefore, serious difficulty in seeing lesbian feminism a sp e r i p h e r a l t o t h e w o m e n ' sL i b e r a t i o n Movement. For me it is necessary and inevitable to the effort of makinga world in which womenareat lastthemselves, for themselves and eachother. Sheila Shulman

6VVIRES
52a Shakespeare Strect, l{6f,t'lnghqr. t{oailay-hiitay. Tel, O5O2 411175. Open loaD-4pn UOI,IENOIILY rNDrvrDUAt suSscRI?TroN fB GRoUP SUBSCRTpTTON il6 S j r l e (C5 fi' pooR) f,4 six roonths,

about nine yearsago,I LiberationMovement, WhenI cameinto the Women's sere n o t . T h e i m p l i c a t i o nw l c o u l d b u t I d i d n o t c a l l m y s e l fo n e . w a sa l e s b i a n or anyone myself to goi ng to acknowledge, to me. I wasnot too f rightening pickingup Judy Grahn's pervert.I remember that I wasan unnatural else, l d i d n o t e v e nw a n t t o b e h o t c o a l . i t l i k ea E d w a r dt h e D y k e a n d d r o p p i n g m i g h tu n d e r m i n e a p o i n t that my being lesbian it. I felt at that holding seen notwithstanding, "straight history" my feminism, the credibilityof my radical I would have whom of beenseento do by women asin fact it hassometimes

(t12 IF POOR),8 Six months, copies JOp each.

66
'sexuality'

67
we mean male *xuality, as it is male xxuality that determines the form that heterosexuality takes. Penny cloutte points out that we don't explain ftow heterosexuality shoresup male supremacy- this ommission also came out in discussions at the conference.The discussionwhich followed has forced us to retum to this and clarify it for ourselves. The paper does not explain how we penonally arrived at these ideas. Personalexperienceis important, as it is through this that we become feminists. but we couldn't go into our individual backgroundsas there were several women in the goup, so the paper would have ended up being far too long; besides,we wanted to point conferencediscussiontowards political strategies, and thought that our personalexperiences could be talked about in the workshop if relevant. we tried to be accountableby listing our namesat the front of the conferencepapers. some women have seenthe paper as suggesting that withdrawal of sexual services from men is the sum total of our political strategy. we completely disagree with the idea that living as separatelyas possiblefrom men is by itself sufficient to overthrow patriarchy; and we said so in a paper we wrote on Separatismfor the sameconference.It would have been clearer if we had put this paperin WIRESalongside "Political Lesbianism,'. THE TITLE some women have been puzzled about why a paper called "political Lesbianism" concentrateson heterosexuality. In retrospect, the sub-title we added in the WIRES version, "The CaseagainstHeterosexuality", is more accurate;but we also recognisethat many women were glad to have the term 'political lesbian' brought to their attention. We certainly didn't invent it, but not every woman has read "Redstockings" and other American feminist writing from the early '70s where it was lust used. Also, some women were confusedas the term has been usedsince then to mean lots of quite different things, such as lesbians with a socialist awareness, non-lesbians acceptingthe lesbian label as a gesture of solidarity with lesbians,lesbianswho were membersof the Gay Liberation Front, etc.,etc. THE DEFINITION we defined a Political Lesbianas a woman-identified-womanwho did not fuck men. Wenow think it's rubbishto say that women fuck men;what happens is that men fuck women, or women get fucked by men. Woman-identified-woman hasbeenusedso much that it is hard to think aboul what it really means.When we re-examinedthe phrase,we realised that we took it to mean: women who, by withdrawingtheir energyand zupport from men, have put women first. In doing so, they have found that it is incompatiblewith sleeping with men. This had beenthe experience of someof

FEMINISTS REVOLUTIONARY FROMLEEDS AFTERWORDS

For some time before this paper was written those of us who had been invited to women's Liberation groups to talk about our politics felt very dishonest give and uneasywhen women askedwhether we thought all feminists should so because say yes, not did but up sexualrelationshipswith men. we thought we feared women would be alienated from all the rest of what we had to say. The paper was written partly to resolveour uneaseand dishonesty' ..Political lrsbianism" was written very quickly in a high energy brain' storming sessionone evening,for discussionat a Revolutionary and Radical our group had had, but in Feminist Conference.It reflected some discussions we would be able to that knew a very condensedform. This wasbecausewe It went down conference. the at and unpack these ideasin workshops "*pund subject. the on workshops quite well at the time and there were four it had sparkedoff we were askedto put the paper in WIRES because women to join in with other wanted and women at the conference discussion, a stone it wouldn't like sunk If had the original paper availableto them. it have receivedany wider distribution. it appearedin wIRES, it was seenas a finished product, which was Because never intended. We were moving towards an analysisof how heterosexuality The debatethat followed madeus look back is centralto women'soppression. benefitted from the at the paper again and again,and our own discussions and inconsistent, flip, offensive feedback.We found someof our comments ..why not take a woman lover?". we now think that "collaborators" suchas is the wrong word to describewomen who sleepwith men, since this implies feminists, act of betrayal.Even if appliedsolely to heterosexual a conscious most feminists inaccurate: general, is it rather than to heterosexualwomen in supremacy' to male crucial as do not seemen as the enemy,or heterosexuality is incorrect,and doesnot answer privileges Again,our list of heterosexual the questionwe raised.we realisethat this is a very important and complex issueand needsfuller discussion. Some lesbiansand some heterosexualfeminists saw the paper as an attack as the women: in fact, we were criticisingheterosexuality on heterosexual that it is used acceptedform of sexuality under male supremacy,and saying to like "Attached us. This is not clearwhen we make statements to oppress By . . .". of dominance/submission all forms of sexualbehaviourare meanings

68 us in the group. One woman in the group had not given up men for consciously feminist reasons. We realisethat many lesbianshavenever slept with men at all. We were trying to describethe processby which some feminists becorne lesbians,and to say that it was possiblefor women to stop sleepingwith men for political reasonswithout necessarilysleepingwith women. The value of calling yourself a political lesbian is to state that you are not sexually anailableto men; to repeat what we said in the paper, it is not about compulsory sexual activity with women. THE QUESTIONS A lot of women presumedwe made them up. In fact, they were questions had been askedby friends, or had come up at we'd either asked ourselves, conferencesor meetings. THE AFTERMATH The furore that resulted after the paper was published in WIRES led some of us to believe that there wasno room in the Women'sLiberation Movement for real honesty about somethingas controversialas sexual politics. We don't think that now, as a fully-fledged discusion around sexuality is taking place, as this pamphlet shows. Sometimeswe found it difficult to recogniseourselves in some of the caricaturesthat emergedfrom the debate as cadres,an elite, authoritarian. The paper was written by a small group of women who really were in no position to impose anything, except a paper for discussion,upon the Movement. We really thought, when writing the paper, that we were merely expressingcommonly held vieua which were just not uzually written down. To some extent we were scapegoated for writing them down. We were distressedto be accusedof being anti-heterosexual-women, when one of the major aims of the paper was to start an honest dialogue about what sexualorientation had to do with our politics. We seeheterosexuality as an in'stitution of male domination, not a free expressionof personalpreference. Heterosexuality is forced upon us from babyhood, it is extremely difficult to break away from; but this fact is often dismissed.Believingthe personalis political meanswe camot separatesexuality off from male supremacyas a politics-free zone. lal Coveney,Tina Crockett, Al Garthwaite, Sheila Jeffreys, Valerk Sinclair. March1981.

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