1 THE PIANO (NO, NOT THAT ONE) SETTING: A doctor's office: desk, chair, computer, a pair of client/patient chairs

facing the desk; nothing but the bare essentials to set the scene. Over the doctor's chair hangs a slowly-spinning upright piano. AT RISE: DR. BLOWHARD consults with LARRY and MOLLY, an elderly couple trying to plan for their demise. LARRY So, Dr. Blowhard, we'd/ It's Bloeard, I told you. BLOWHARD Dr. Bloeard.

LARRY Dr. Bloeard, my wife and I wanted to talk to you about/ BLOWHARD Yeah, yeah, I know: end-of-life, living wills, healthcare power of attorney, death panels, blah, blah, blah. Well, not exactly. MOLLY What we're concerned about... LARRY Deeply concerned about. MOLLY ... about is what to expect when one of us/ BLOWHARD Dies. When one of you dies first and leaves the other alone, boo-hoo. Like I said, I know all this. And if you had any sense, you'd already know about it, too. LARRY Now, just a minute! BLOWHARD Shut up. Smart people, intelligent people, people who can see past the end of their own noses have this conversation long before they get old and senile like the two of you. (LARRY rises indignantly,

2 but MOLLY stops him.) MOLLY Honey, no. Don't. (BLOWHARD spins in his chair.) BLOWHARD I see it all the time: people like you so clueless they don't think they have to plan; they don't have to anticipate; they don't have to pay any attention to the danger hanging over their very heads. (Stops; slams desk with both hands.) Jesus H. Christ, you unthinking morons! A goddamn piano could fall on you at any min/ (The piano falls with a terrible crash, crushing BLOWHARD in an instant; after the initial surprise, LARRY and MOLLY look at each other, shrug, then get up and leave.) END