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2013 Annual Gathering: Workshop#8C: Thinking Systems, An Approach To Change and Balance, Part 2
2013 Annual Gathering: Workshop#8C: Thinking Systems, An Approach To Change and Balance, Part 2
2013 Annual Gathering: Workshop#8C: Thinking Systems, An Approach To Change and Balance, Part 2
Phenomena can only be understood if looked at as a system All parts of a system are interconnected All systems have some form of feedback
Input
Throughput
Output
Feedback Loop
Bowen Theory
Multi-Generational Transmission Family Projection Triangles Sibling Postion Cut Off Fusion Differentiation Societal Emotional Process
Multi-Generational Transmission
Ways of thinking, feeling and behaving are transmitted over generations. The transmission occurs on several interconnected levels ranging from the conscious teaching and learning of information to the automatic and unconscious programming of emotional reactions and behaviors. The next step in the multigenerational transmission process is people predictably selecting mates with similar processes.
Projection
The way people transmit their emotional processes and ways of dealing with things including heightened needs for attention and approval, difficulty dealing with expectations, the tendency to blame oneself or others, feeling responsible for the happiness of others or that others are responsible for one's own happiness, and acting impulsively to relieve the anxiety of the moment rather than tolerating anxiety and acting thoughtfully.
Triangles
A triangle is a three-person relationship system. A triangle can contain more tension than a two-person relationship because the tension can shift around three relationships. If the tension is too high for one triangle to contain, it spreads to a series of "interlocking triangles. Spreading the tension can stabilize a system, but nothing gets resolved.
Sibling Position
People often behave in predictable ways based on their position within the system
Eldest children may prefer leadership roles Youngest children may prefer supporting roles
Differentiation
The extent to how others impact how one acts, thinks, and feels. People with a poorly differentiated "self" depend heavily on the acceptance and approval of others. Whereas a person with a well-differentiated "self" recognizes their realistic dependence on others, but can stay calm and clear headed enough in the face of conflict, criticism, and rejection to distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from thinking clouded by emotionality.
Systems at Work
EVENT Report Overdue REACTION Boss Micro Manages Employee OUTCOME Work Gets Done
PATTERNS DEVELOP Employee has increased stress, second guesses himself, continues to look to supervisor to finish & control things, dependence created, Employer feels the need to take more control
Group Exercise
Film Clip From The Office Using the General Systems template identify any processes you observed Discuss in your group what you identified and what different (more differentiated) choices could be made. Pay attention to your initial reaction and how it shifts after the discussion
Differentiation
Self
Other
Differentiation
Thoughtful
Emotional
Differentiation
Self
Other
Differentiation
Thoughtful
Emotional
Differentiation
Self Other
Differentiation
Thoughtful Emotional
Immature Leader
Bully / Intimidates Constant Talker Has all the answers Little delegation Overworks Owns all the good ideas Threatened Talks about others when not present Worries about others responsibilities Gossip and rumor Competitive Critical / Fault-finding Oppositional
Doesnt reply to emails / phone calls Not a listener Somewhere else during meeting preoccupied Change subject if issue is sensitive Avoids conversation becomes passive Creates dependency among system members which promotes immaturity Disallows new information rejecting of new ideas or creativity Conflict always seems to find their door Relies on past success to solve future problems
Mature Leader
Treat individuals as equals Balance Talking and listening Not insistent on their ideas Allow time for thinking-through Know that a good decision is a process Encourage good thinking and new ideas On-time, prepared for meetings Engage in conversation / say what they think Know when to take a break let emotional intensity calm
A soft answer turneth away wrath Intellectually engaged always learning Stays connected Consultative model engages others opinions and ideas Patient Know triggers Connects with triangles Keep Big Picture in mind Use Humor Correct own contributions to the problems
Separateness functioning independently, not needing others to support or complete them Equality based on valuing mutual contributions, not tallying up individual assets Openness communication patterns based on integrity and transparency Understands ones role in the problem
Operationally, ideal (system change) begins when one can find a leader with the courage to define self, who is as invested in the welfare of the system as in self, who is neither angry nor dogmatic, whose energy goes into changing self rather than telling others what they should do, who can know and respect the multiple opinions of others, who can modify self in response to the strength of the group, and who is not influenced by the irresponsible influence of others. When one member moves toward differentiation, the symptoms disappear. A leader is beyond the popular notion of power. A responsible leader automatically generates mature leadership qualities in other members who are to follow. Kerr and Bowen, 1988