Open your eyes . . . Cmon, open yer eyes! . .

Out of the depth of a dream, as sticky as a bath full of honey, this slightly familiar voice faintly echoes through the cavity of your mind. You desperately try to hang on to the threads of a bizarre realm, where an primordial self, manifested as Winnie the Pooh, is busy licking off Alice from Wonderland, dressed in a apanese schoolgirl uniform and dripping sweet nectar. !evertheless, you regretfully feel it slowly slipping away from your grasp. . "#ood moa$ning, %arig %an. Aiko coffee make&' (hus, you are pulled out of your decompression and made to float to the surface of reality. )right light spots turn into flashy manga figures, bouncing around the outskirts of your vision, as your ears eventually pop, leaving the world in utter stillness. *n the center of your fuzzy vision is a face, as round and sweet as ever+ a face you$ve grown most fond of lately, attached to a chubby, richly bosomed body, in a cute little suit, short miniskirt and carrying a Winnie the Pooh handbag. With a sunshiny smile across her adorable face, she leans over and places a steaming cup of coffee on the nightstand beside you and a generous cleavage in your line of vision. With a randy smile of your own, you grab her arm and pull her into the bed. %he titters in your embrace, but gives in to your lips, as you smear her lipstick to bits.

"Aiko now work go&' she cries out, once having managed to free her tongue for long enough, but you$re damned if you$re gonna let another perfectly good morning stiffy go to waste. A hand now craftily slides underneath her skirt, so as to ,uice her up a bit, but she$s wet enough as it is. *n one -uick motion, you pull her pink panties off, grab one handful of breast, one handful of buttock, then slide yourself all the way in. %he wails, you moan, pull out at the last moment and, shortly after, she$s already straightening up her suit and hurries into the bathroom in order to fi. herself back up. /asually sauntering in behind her, you embrace her with your clean hand, while washing the other one under the running tap. You plant a wet kiss on her cheek, she giggles and the two of you stare cordially at your reflection in the mirror. "Ohayou Gozaimasu1, Aiko kun. (oday 0 happy1' "Hay,2' she s-ueaks. "Aiko today very happy& %arig happy1' "Hay,' you reply. "%arig happy because Aiko happy.' "Becos? Nani3 becos?' she asks, while read,usting her makeup. "Aiko happy 0 %arig happy.' (hat$s about the only way you$re able to simplify it to everybody$s benefit. (here$s steam rising from underneath the tub$s unfolded plastic cover. )eneath it, there$s a hot bath ready and waiting ,ust for you. "Aiko together happy&' she says, turns around and hugs you tightly. You kiss her other check, fondle her buttocks and lightly slap her out of her own bathroom. "(oday together /hristmas shopping go1' she in-uires, while bending over to pick up her preteen handbag. " abun,3 Aiko kun. Nani Aiko eating want1' you can barely resist the urge to fondle her some more, yet point at your mouth instead and mimic chewing. "Aiko sushi bar want&' comes the answer you$ve been dreading. )oth shopping and eating out are somewhat heavy on your budget at the moment, but the lady does occasionally re-uire wining and dining, which is a very modest price to pay for all you are getting in return.
4 2

#ood morning 5 apanese6 Yes 5same6 7 What 5same6 3 8aybe 5same6

"Okay. %hopping+ after, sushi bar go,' you give in with a smile. "Yeahhhh9' she skips like an overenthusiastic, manganese cheerleader. "Aiko9winner&' she cries, and turns to leave. "Aiko very !a"aii,:' you add, and hear her giggle, as she heads down the stairs. "Aiko now work go&' echoes her reply. ")ye bye, %arig' ")ye bye, Aikoko9' And with that, you fold the plastic cover, slowly slide into the steaming bath and close your eyes. #ou$% you be$ie&e shes 'hir'y (our years o$%? ;;; (he legend has it that the entire world was once ruled by a bunch of gods, who lived in an other<dimensional realm called Ama. %ure, they -uarreled at times, lied through their teeth, bickered nonstop and occasionally backstabbed each other. )ut still, at least they all agreed on one thing 0 that life was pretty damn good for a god. !evertheless, as a result of cultural and racial discrimination, not all gods were considered e-ual, and those gods less fortunate than the rest were pretty pissed off about the whole ordeal. One particular group of demigods named =unitsu<=ami, decided to teach these snobs in Ama a lesson. %o, they sent =itsune, the mischievous fo., to mess things up for everyone else. !ow, most gods residing in Ama were happily married, and even more happily sleeping around with various mortal woman as well. (herefore, all =itsune had to do was shape<shift himself into a ginger feminist, sneak into the other<dimensional realm, through an inter<dimensional ne.us somewhere on 8ount >i,i, and start whispering strange new ideas in the ears of the goddesses, who were already less than pleased with the status -uo as it was. %oon enough, life ceased being so damn good for the gods. (herefore, (akamimusubi, the king of the gods, who himself was getting increasing grief from his own wife, called for a secret meeting of the Ama *lluminati < the innermost circle of the gods.

/ute 5 apanese6

All this growing bitching and moaning about who is, or is not, god enough to pleasure a goddess, rule the world or do the dishes once in a while+ the spreading phenomenon of pre<nocturnal headaches+ the increasing demand for more fashionable wear than simply kimono, was getting on everybody$s nerves. And so, they finally devised a cunning plan. *n the wee hours of the night, =agi< (suchi, the blacksmith god of fire, was sent to a secret location, away from the ever watchful, long lashed, eyes in Ama, in order to build a gentlegods$ club. ?eep under the floor of the Pacific Ocean, he constructed an elaborated steam room, to which the gods could escape, in order to smoke their cigars, drink vintage nectar and talk about @fucky fucky$, in a pure masculine environment. At times, various pairs of them would vanish into private rooms, to let off a bit of steam+ a habit they happened to pick up from the #reek gods. All was going ever so well, until one day >artisumi, the god of foul odors, showed up at the gentlegods$ club. Ais stench, carried and enhanced by the steam throughout the entire compound, became so hideous that they had to -uickly kick him out, before realizing that he was most likely to snitch to the goddesses about their secret retreat. >earing their wives$ scorn, they hastily covered their tracks by tossing some huge boulders over the entire region, and went back to submissively enduring a new age in Ama. =itsune and all the =unitsu<=ami are still warming their behinds on those very same rocks to this day, laughing their asses off at how stupid gods can be. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how apan came to be. ;;; Alone. You$re all alone. %pent a while being alone. )' "hich poin' %oes )$one 'urn in'o *one$y?

At a certain point, you feel it all loses meaning and purpose, if you don$t get to share it with another living soul. (hat$s when it turns lonely on you all of a sudden. 8ore often then not though, it may stretch over months of preferring solitude without isolation. (ime spent ,ourneying around one$s soul can be a time of searching+ of growth, in whatever direction you may choose. (hat time ought to come to an end when nature takes its course. And nature always does, sooner or later. You ,ust happen to be spending the evening rela.ing, in the comfort of a Youth Aostel, when an unlikely host, or in this particular case 0 a hostess, opens up and welcomes you into her inner circle+ into her confidence and care. (hese moments can hardly ever be predicted, nor engineered. *t$s a uni-ue connection of souls that could only happen between specific individuals, at specific places and in specific times. All you can do, really, is to keep an open mind and be willing to allow it to happen when it does. You were happy enough to simply en,oy the comfort of a night spent in a real bed, rather than on a hammock, and away from the harsh elements. (he budget allows for about one sheltered night in three, even though autumn has nearly finished packing and in %apporo, provincial capitol to Aokkaido, apan$s northmost of the four ma,or islands, it$s actually snowing outside. You needed a human being to connect to, and along she came. %he needed someone to take care of, and there you were. Aowever, that$s all in the future. At the present, you$re mostly fucking, and pretty much like rabbits on Biagra at that. (hat$s also something you haven$t had the pleasure of doing for a long while now+ about a month hitchhiking apan, plus three more spent transing %iberia, more precisely. >our months of being physically, mentally and e.istentially alone. %he looks so sweet you wanna cuddle her the first moment you lay eyes on her. %oon after, your hands meet under the table, while faces are kept above it, and stay that way long enough for both to realize what$s happening here. >rom there to bed the distance is cultural mostly, made gloriously short by this sign of desire. )y the time the sun rises the ne.t day, you$ve got yourself a lover. !o more solitary admiration of the roaring elements, which made, in their grandeur, this turbulent wonder that is Aokkaido. As marvelous as standing on the very top of an

active volcano+ surrounded by land so rigid and fuming that it actually ,ustifies the roughing of a pathless ascent, the need to share makes even a simple swamp hike+ a pleasurable dip in a natural hot spring, into much more of a gratifying e.perience. !o more days spent in wait for rides on the side of the road. As inspiring as being invited to share in the various worlds of so many uni-ue people can be, sharing a car with but a single person can open up such a wide spectrum of opportunities, that you gladly decide to come along for the ride. !o more warmth<less nights, shivering inside your hammock, no matter how many layers of clothing you$ve got on. Auman warmth, passion and intimacy are absolutely priceless. (hank your good fortune she$s got enough space in the back of her car to allow the two of you to en,oy all of the above. (hen there$s the se.. *f it$s up the snowy mountain, up the northern port town or up the butt, the possibilities are endless and the "i$$, beyond all boundaries of self, society or culture, the will triumphs. You$re not making love, nor harboring reproductive intentions. You$re naturally fucking, pure and simple. 8any things may be said about the act of screwing, all of which are meaningless. Whether it$s for fun or out of desire+ curiosity or by the grace of attraction, you leave behind all that has been said and simply do. Only if you do+ willingly giving in to the interaction, an entire person and culture, largely integrated, may open up to you. )e it the mutual need, the hormones or the steaming intensity, erected by the fire god =agi<(suchi himself, right underneath your feet+ under the very rocks you now tread together, suddenly doors to various possible universes open+ e.perience is put into -uestion, mistakes are made and various pipers will, eventually, demand payment. ;;; /hristmas has passed away, the snowy winter has settled in and you are still en,oying the warmth of her little country house. You are not overstaying your welcome yet, for the plan was to re<emerge only once spring moved in, and that$s the status -uo you are still successfully maintaining.

(he living room is a sub<zero climate zone. Your warm breath transforms into semitransparent strings of dripping frost in mid<air. !evertheless, under the coffee table, sealed with a thick blanket, the heat, generated by a small built<in stove, keeps the rest of your bodies in a more semi<tropical environment. As usual, she has drifted off, cuddled in your arms. All around the living room, darkness is invaded by a flickering bluish hue, animating the various Winnie dolls and Pooh figurines, giving the whole scene a demented teenaged feel. On the telly, your favorite apanese director is playing a fool$s fool to a bunch of half crazed presenters of a popular local game show. (hey ignorantly scream and shout, hop and dance, to what is actually the theme of an *sraeli folk song, and you decide to give up and turn the whole thing off. You know you should be waking her up, as you do every single evening, half<carry her up the stairs to the bedroom, where you would attempt to get some, and instead would get none. Aowever, you ,ust remain sitting there. +he ain' pu''in, ou' no more! you realize, yet are fucked if you can grasp why. (he wind has shifted of late and a cloud of detachment seemed to have settled upon the two of you. (he ,oy of fucking like rabbits went down the hole, and Wonderland ,ust ain$t no fun anymore. Been 'his "ay e&er since Chris'mas, (or (uc!s sa!es- #ha' "i'h 'ha' ma.or (uc! up o( ours an% a$$, "ere no" re%uce% 'o her occasiona$$y $an%in, us a han%- )ut the amazing truth is you don$t even mind all that much. Once the fun is spent, a fuck ain$t much of an outperformance to simple, uncomplicated nor demanding self< gratification anyhow. On the other hand, you know it$s much more complicated than that. After getting used to taking care of various men her entire life 0 her brother, once her mom passed away+ her father, now he has grown old+ her husband of ten years or so, struggling with infertility and infidelity, she thought she found a new man to care for in you. !ow though, she$s gradually coming to realize you are not the one she can depend on to be dependant on her. Aer sudden, obsessive an.iety about getting pregnant, after years of unsuccessful fertility treatments and all, is but the tip of a whole iceberg of emotional turbulence you are far from able to help her cope with.

(he best you can do is sail alongside her and make sure no navigational error shall ignite an e.plosion+ a fatal collision on a stormy night that might sink your steamship, crew and passengers right down into the frosty abyss. Cverything withers away and dies in the end. (hat$s ,ust the inevitable truth. Domance, friendship or even great se. are no different. (he human condition does not allow us to linger around the same plateau forever, no matter how breathtaking the view may be. We must keep on moving sharkly+ seek complications, even where there are none+ destroy the e.isting structure, in order to try and build something else on its foundations. (hat is, after all, what makes us human+ all too bloody human. ;;; Open your eyes >rom the depth of a dark, chilly abyss, where all things go to die, echo the ghostly voices of a thousand drowned Dussian sailors. . Cmon, open your (uc!in eyes! >rom the ocean floor, the remains of a rotten half flying ?utchman, half wandering ew, begins to slowly rise toward the surface, in soundless grinding. All around you are skeleton dreams of acceptance+ fleshless delusions of belonging, strumming the single string still left in your heart < the string that echoes loneliness. When you finally surface into reality, eyes plainly refuse to slide open. A horrid sensation of claustrophobia takes over, mi.ed with the conviction that you$ve been buried alive inside the tiniest of coffins. When you finally manage to force your eyes open, you see it$s true. (ight fitted walls -uickly close in on you. You gasp, leap out of bed and hit your head against the ceiling.

(his room is no bigger than a closet, with a tiny bath and an even tinier sink. 8oreover, there$s no clear recollection as to what you$re doing here, or of how you actually got here. (he only thing you know is that you$ve got no caffeine. %prinkle cold drops over your face, get dressed on autopilot and go hunt for coffee in this primeval stage of consciousness. ?own a narrow flight of stairs you go, vaguely aware of a different flight, the one that brought you here. Out the love hotel and into a world that is an e.plosion of neon lights you step, realizing this is no longer gray, monotonous %iberia. You$re in apan& 8ade the only choice that made any kind of sense, and here you are. >irst imprint of Asia 8a,or. #ot no real plan, no idea, no guide book, no budget, no contacts, no information. ?on$t have the tools to deal with this culture. >irst country you visit where you cannot even read the signs. )ut, first thing first. #o find coffee& Hey, "hy is e&eryone $oo!in, a' me (unny? is the first wisecrack of the day, which brings a smile to your face. Amidst a multitude of flashy neon signs there$s a small noodle shop, made out of bamboo, with a can machine by the entrance. Oddly enough, it also serves scorching hot cans of coffee. #ood& (he hardest part is behind us now. All that$s left is figuring out all the rest. ?ive right into the e.perience& Overwhelm yourself with all that is perceivable all around you. %mell and taste the e.otic local food+ the sizzling octopus dumplings, Aorse sashimi or slimy rotten soybeans. Watch and feel the erotic local (emme+ the giggly girls in the shortest of skirts and the mesmerizing women in their !imonos- /apture all the sounds and vibes+ the tintinnabulation of video games and pachin!o/ halls. !ow buy a Eonely Planet. Dead all about this city called !iigata, central Aonshu+ the biggest of the ma,or islands. Eearn that, about two and a half hours away by ferry, lies %ado *sland, a perfect microcosm for e.perimentation. Eet$s see how well hitchhiking works round here+ see if we can endure the nights on our trusty 8e.ican hammock+ figure out how to be able to e.perience much more of this culture than you$ve originally planned.

Pinball gambling machines

(okyo and the /hinese consulate can wait. >irst, there$s an ine.plicable urge to e.plore everything that is apanese+ an urge you$d very much like to scratch. After all, absolutely anything in life is possible, if you put your mind to it+ any path could be taken, given the right kinda footwear, the right kinda guidance and a whole lotta luck. After all, that$s what makes being alive so much fun, ain$t it1 ;;; esus >. /hrist& All you desired was to invite a friend for /hristmas, as is customary in the lands of the setting sun, and now she cannot even look at you. %he$s driving the both of you back to her home in muted fury, appearing as an irritable little girl on the outside+ struggling with a grownup woman$s scorn on the inside. Wish you could say you$re ,ust as angry, but the truth is that you ain$t got it in you. *nstead, you try to comprehend the chain e.plosion, which threw you into this mess. *t all started with the two of you, fucking in the front seat of her car, parked at a public parking lot. You had her pressed against the dashboard, while ramming her from behind with whatever limited movement space you had at your disposal. (hen she came, rather faster than usual, and sucked you off. Euckily enough, no one happened to be passing by. !e.t thing you recall, you were having a nice conversation, with @me (arzan go here$ and @me (arzan go there$, lots of humor to spice it up, yet less than your usual amount of effort to really listen+ pay attention to what she$s trying to say. Eooking for an opening you were, and no doubt about it. "Aiko remember %arig friend from (okyo1' you took the first one that came along. "=orea girl1' she replied, staring at you all doe<eyed. %hould have noticed the spark in them eyes, though, had you been paying enough attention. "Hay! Aiko good memory,' inde. finger pointed at your temple. "0emo$y? Nani memo$y?' )ut you ignored the in-uiry. "%arig friend no have friends in (okyo. %arig want to invite to /hristmas party together, okay1' you finally managed to s-ueeze in the punch line. (he silence which followed could not have been a good omen9

"%arig and friend se. have1' "Nay, nay!G %arig friend only.' "%arig and friend se. have&&&' ;;; As long as you follow the white rabbit, no moment is a dull one. (he white rabbit knows drifting is the only way to stay young forever. Eearned that trick from a boy in green tights a long time ago, but can$t seem to be able to get into the spirit of things. (he white rabbit needs the pretence of Purpose. (hat$s why he$s always in a hurry to get somewhere+ that$s why he$ll never become a true drifter. You, however, still follow it wherever it hops, for you too fear growing old. One day, you find yourself rocketing down its hole, having closed your eyes and given in to the unknown+ to the sensation of gravity, towing at your feet. Cventually, when you open your eyes again 0 you$re in Wonderland. (his is a land of bizarre contradictions, coe.isting in harmony. Whole districts of metallic sky scrapers beside ancient )uddhist temples+ A multitude of flickering neon signs send epileptics dashing to customary clinics, made of nothing but gray bamboo. (raditional burger ,oints stand side by side with modern sushi bars, where plates constantly circle the room like at some mad tea party. %erving customers at one of those is a pretty girl, for whom you$ve been waiting the whole evening, while plates have been piling high all around you. %he ain$t prettier than other girls around, but then again, she ain$t like any other girl around. %he$s =orean, and that counts as a uni-ue cultural e.perience. )esides, you like her a lot. After she$s finished her long shift, slaving for this new age comfort system, she$ll be driven by curiosity and submission across town, guided into your tiny cardboard room and on to your ,oker size bed. %lim and tall, bright and mature, she$s the complete opposite of everything you$ve known lately.
G

!o, no& 5 apanese6

You are actually beginning to fall for her, you confess on your long way down from the observatory on the 3:th floor of the 8etropolitan #overnment )uilding in %hin,uku, (okyo$s famous entertainment, business and shopping area. 8uch like Alice, after having eaten one of her space cakes, you also feel like you$re shrinking fast, back into an insignificant ant, desperate to hang on to something larger than ,ust yourself. !evertheless, even EAD#C must have its limits, you decide after careful observation from a ringside seat at DyHgoku =okugikan, also known as %umo Aall. A man could starve to death by the time these behemoths get a move on+ treading rice, pulling at straps, which barely manage to cover all they really ought to hide. )ut, when these titans finally clash+ pushing and tugging at one another for the whole of five seconds, the heart stops pounding in sheer awe. You don$t really understand these feelings you$ve been having for that simple, strong and free spirited =orean angel chance blessed you with+ don$t comprehend this relationship you seem to give more than a fuck about, hence finally decide to off with its head. After all, she is here to stay+ to labor, struggle, earn and save, while you are bound to continue to follow the white rabbit sooner or later+ keep on seeking eternal youth. Eike a /heshire cat, she easily vanishes in a puff of smoke, leaving but traces of a sweet smile behind, ,ust as your very own Iueen of Aearts suddenly decides to ,oin you in (okyo, for a hitchhiking ,ourney as far as =yoto. >araway, my sweet friend. 8aybe *$ll see you again for /hristmas. ;;; @(was the night before /hristmas, when all through her dwelling, not a sound was heard, not of fighting nor -uarreling. You$ve already laid the gifts around the plastic tree, decorated with bright lights and little ?isney figurines. Your fried chicken and steamed veggies would have to do in this turkey<less region, with sticky rice and a white sponge /hristmas cake for dessert. %he looks as !a"aii as ever, in her tiny )arbie suit, and all you wanna do is put her over your knee and spank her bare buttocks. You$ll do no such thing though, for

underneath her childish e.terior is still a scornful woman. *nstead, you embrace her and kiss her tenderly. "8erry /hristmas, Aikoko.' You say softly. "8erry /hristmas, %arig %an.' %he softens in your arms. You$re glad you chose to return to her home+ come back into her life. %he followed you all the way to =yoto, boldly hitchhiking as no respectful apanese woman has done before. #ot a -uickie in a coffee shop toilet as a faraway gift, kissed her goodbye, she went back to her normal life, tearful yet grateful, and you went back on the road. !evertheless, by the time you reached Airoshima, the weather was turning on you, and your prospects were becoming grimmer. (raveling /hina in winter was beginning to feel somewhat too masochistic for your liking, while warm memories of even warmer home and bosom+ of another human soul to please, started creeping into your mind. Of course, she skipped with pure ,oy at the proposal, instantly agreed to all the ground rules and welcomed you back into her life for the duration of winter. )asic human needs are the common denominator of even the widest of cultural gaps. Obviously, a good deal for you. (hen again, not such a bad deal for her either. What she was getting was a lover, a soul mate and someone to spend /hristmas with. Aer brother, the con,urer, finally shows up at her doorstep. As if by magic, she immediately transforms into the most cheerful damsel on the face of the planet. !o hint of the kind of clinical depression a doctor would send you on a sick leave vacation to Aokkaido for+ !o mention of an adulterous husband, of a sham of a marriage, of a lover who dares being with her, while shamelessly staying in touch with a previous lover. !ice, inverted little brother. A healer of the heart+ a fi.er of relationships+ a high authority on Dight from Wrong. ealousy goes right, commonsense goes wrong. Why, *$ll never know. 8en are polygamists, women are monogamists. Cverything is well organized, in nicely detailed social rules and regulations. Order is kept, authenticity blocked and everyone gets to belong+ to be a part of something greater than themselves.

Only that a ,ai.inJ should often be e.empt, he e.plains, for he is but a child and has yet to have learned the path. After he makes his departures, you cuddle on the couch, under the /hristmas tree. >or this special occasion, the inclusive living room heating has been turned on. Aeat is slowly rising, from water pipes running underneath the wooden floor, and engulfs the both of you in randy affection. Who could have imagined that night would be the very last night she would give herself fully to your lust, and with e-ual desire at that. You spend hours talking and laughing+ maintaining a caring, yet easy going channel of communication. %he giggles like a schoolgirl, and you wonder if it$s the pedophile side, e.isting in any and all men, which makes you want her so very much. !evertheless, a part of your mutual soul has faded away < the part in charge of convincing all the other parts that there$s more to this than ,ust selfish needs. All pretence of a romantic essence is lost forever. You need each other, depend on one another, even desire one another at times, but you do no love each other. Once self deception fails, the collapse of the entire system is inevitable. *t$s only a matter of time. (he nature of needs is a slippery one and its course elusive at best. %ooner or later, only hassle remains in place of the fulfillment of a need long ago shifted, and someone would bail out. (hat someone is most often you. heres no such 'hin, as easy money, you think to yourself, as you lie in bed beside her, listening to her managing to make even snoring sound cute. Cverything you get in life has a price. We are a race of dealers, constantly negotiating the price of actions and emotions. (he price of today is measured in tomorrows, and tomorrows, and tomorrows9 *f you cannot pay the piper, the rats will slowly creep back in, till you$ll be forced to pack it in and skip town. (he piper is not in any way evil9 +he simp$y %eser&es 'o ,e' pai%-

>oreigner 5 apanese6