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Minion's Essay Manual
Minion's Essay Manual
All effective essays have three components.5
1. The Introduction.
In the introduction, you should give your name, your political and
religious affiliations and you should let the readers know about your
prejudices, your phobias, your hobbies and any medications you are
currently taking.
2. The Body
In the body of your essay you present your data and make your
arguments. This should be mostly quotes (you can make them up if you
don’t have time to do research), and numbers. Ideally, you will use a
formula here. This is the formula I always use (which you are welcome
to): If A,B,C are the points z1,z2,z3 ant the angles B and C are each
pie alpha/2 then(z2z3)^2 = 4(z3z1)(z1z2) sin^2 alpha/2
2.5. The Climax
If you are going to put any knifings or car chases into your essay,
this is where to do it.
3. The Conclusion
In your conclusion, you have already presented your evidence, and
you’ve climaxed, so now you are a bit freer to say what you really
think. The conclusion should be very unstructured and even a bit
5
5 Actually there are 4 parts to all good essays. The forth
part is footnotes. The footnote is where you put the things
that you want to get out on the page but don’t actually want
anyone to read. Here’s part of a footnote I wrote in an
essay in college for Professor Sonenshine:
…furthermore, I don’t know what you think
qualifies you to be “Professor.” I’d rather spend a
month eating rancid goat meat in a Sudanese prison
than sit in one the torture sessions you call
“lectures…”
rambling. Think of your conclusion as pillow talk—you’ve already
gotten what you wanted out of your reader and now you are giving them
a little peck on the cheek and a pat on the bum before sending them
home.