Clemm .

Meghan Clemm Instructor: Malcolm Campbell English 1103 Honors August 29, 2013 What Matters I might as ell tr!. I glance" at m! mom an" sai" ith a #uic$ shrug, %&h! not'( Her )a "roppe" as she stammere" on her or"s. *he $ept as$ing me i+ I as sure an" pacing aroun" the room, gna ing on her +ingernails in a +it o+ orr!. &as this a goo" i"ea' &oul" this all bac$+ire an" ma$e things orse' Ignoring these thoughts in m! hea" an" these

concerns o+ m! mother, I began to elaborate on m! i"eas an" reasons. ,he or"s +loo"e" out o+ m! mouth- I coul"n.t stop them. In that moment, e/er!thing seeme" to clic$, it all ma"e sense. All that ha" happene" these last +e !ears seeme" to lea" up to this moment an" seeme" to all ha/e a purpose. M! min" as su""enl! clear an" at peace. I $ne that I ha" to "o it. Minutes be+ore, I ha" )ust al$e" into the $itchen, engul+e" b! the smell o+ homema"e soup coo$ing on the sto/e. ,he sun as setting through the gran" ba! in"o that too$ o/er the $itchen, casting shapes o+ +a"ing spring sun onto the oo"en table an" onto m! s eat! +ace. It as the +irst "a! o+ spring an" e/er!one as restless in the +resh, arm air. 0ropping m! bags in pure e1haustion, I as$e" m! mom h! she as acting so strange. I $ic$e" o++ m! "irt! snea$ers I ha" )ust orn to trac$ practice an" eagerl! a aite" her response. *he ha" recei/e" an email +rom the school sa!ing that the! ere loo$ing +or a stu"ent to rite a speech to rea" at gra"uation. ,he "ea"line as in a ee$. *he starte" to get e1cite" as she e1plaine" her thoughts on hat I shoul" rite, )ust assuming that I oul" ant to rite one in the +irst place. At +irst, I loo$e" at her in shoc$ li$e she ha" three hea"s, but the more an" more she ramble", the more an" more I became inspire" as ell.

Clemm . *he e1plaine" to me ho this coul" be m! +inal message to the people I ha" been in school ith +or t el/e !ears no . *he "escribe" that m! speech coul" be a a! to stan" up +or m!sel+ an" +or those aroun" me. High school ha" been a roller coaster ith goo" times o+ accomplishment an" happiness an" ith tough times o+ "isaster an" hurt. In those !ears I ha"

ne/er been $no n +or aca"emics. In +act, in high school most people assume" I as "umb or as the! li$e" to sa!, %an airhea"(. E/en one o+ m! closest +rien"s use" to ma$e comments that I asn.t smart enough, although e sat ne1t to each other in all o+ our honors classes. I as $no n as the artist. &hene/er an!one in the school nee"e" a sign painte" +or a club or something "ra n +or a sports team, I as their girl. I on the senior superlati/e, %Most Artistic( to top it all o++. M! i"entit! as, %,he Artist( "i"n.t bother me. I as prou" that people recogni2e" an" appreciate" hat I "i". &hat bothere" me as their lac$ o+ un"erstan"ing an" their arrogance. 3eople oul" constantl! re+er to all the art or$ I "i" as %eas!( an" a a! to slac$ o++ +rom, %real classes(. I as e/en tol" I as the onl! one ho oul" be ta$ing their, %$in"ergarten Cra!ola cra!ons( ith them to college. Imagine their astonishment hen the! sa me al$ up on stage to gi/e a speech, an" imagine their astonishment hen the! sa that I as actuall! smart enough to rite a meaning+ul one. I $ne I ha" it in me. I $ne I as smarter than hat their harsh or"s an" )u"gments sai". I $ne that I ha" to "o it. M! biggest moti/ation an" inspiration to rite this speech as m! e1perience senior !ear. ,imes ere har" "ue to a large group o+ stu"ents in m! gra"e ho ha" ta$en up an, %I Hate Meg Clemm Club( that circulate" through "i++erent +orms o+ social me"ia. Members o+ the club consiste" o+ ol" best +rien"s an" bo!+rien"s, people hom I ha" once consi"ere" the most important people in m! li+e. &ith gra"uation )ust aroun" the corner, the torment as getting orse, an" I as not the onl! stu"ent su++ering. M! mom.s thoughts ere inspirational- I

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ante" to be a /oice o+ reason an" strength in har" times. *he e1plaine" that these moments are so tri/ial an" small in the gran" scheme o+ things. In the en", hen !ou.re stan"ing on stage ith that "iploma, it "oesn.t matter hat gra"e !ou got in Algebra or A3 European Histor!. As Ma!a Angelo once sai", %3eople ill +orget hat !ou sai", people ill +orget hat !ou "i", but people ill ne/er +orget ho !ou ma"e them +eel.( &hat trul! matters is the legac! !ou lea/e behin". &hat matters is the mar$ !ou le+t on those aroun" !ou an" ho !ou a++ecte" their li/es. &hat matters is ho !ou ill treat those in the +uture an" ho !ou ill in+luence on the orl". M! mother.s /oice as an inspiration to me an" I imme"iatel! got to riting. &riting ha" ne/er been a huge strength o+ mine. I as in Honors English all o+ mi""le school an" high school but I ne/er consi"ere" m!sel+ goo" at it. I ha" a har" time sta!ing +ocuse" an" +in"ing inspiration. Ho e/er, riting this speech came naturall! to me. M! thoughts poure" out onto the paper an" con/e!e" the e1act message I ha" ante" it to. ,hat part as eas!. 4e1t I ha" to rea" the speech in +ront o+ a panel o+ teachers an" a"ministrators in the school "istrict. 5uc$il!, hen I got up to rea" m! speech, I sa m! English teacher hom I ha" gro n /er! close to o/er the !ear sitting on the panel. Instantl! I rela1e" an" I began to rea". It seeme" li$e e/er!thing as +alling into place. 6ea"ing the speech in +ront o+ all o+ them +elt so eas! an" moti/ating, )ust as the riting process ha" +elt. Completel! satis+ie", I le+t +eeling e1tremel! prou" an" accomplishe". A +e "a!s later I as calle" to the main o++ice to recei/e a message. I arri/e" to see m! gui"ance counselor aiting +or me, her han"s rubbing together an" t irling her +ingers. Her hea" as hung, a/oi"ing e!e contact. M! heart began racing an" heat +lushe" to m! +ace. A+ter a long sigh she tol" me that m! speech as not chosen to rea" at gra"uation. It +elt as i+ someone ha" punche" me s#uare in the gut, $noc$ing the in" right out o+ m! lungs. I

Clemm . uncom+ortabl! smile", than$e" her +or her time an" trie" to shu++le out o+ there as #uic$l! as I coul" to a/oi" +urther embarrassment an" a $ ar"ness. As I as lea/ing, she calle" me bac$

into the o++ice an" motione" +or me to lean in to ar"s her. *he tol" me that she absolutel! lo/e" m! speech an" that she ha" /ote" +or it to be rea". *he ramble" on an" on about it but her compliments ent in one ear an" out the other. All I coul" thin$ about as racing out o+ there, eager to call m! mom so she coul" com+ort me. 5ater that "a! m! English teacher an" t o other teachers approache" me to compliment m! speech. ,he! too sai" that the! ha" /ote" +or m! speech an" lo/e" it. M! English teacher, $no ing hat I ha" been struggling ith this !ear an" sensing m! upset, pulle" me asi"e a+ter class. ,hat as the moment that m! min"set change". Ha/ing such respect +or m! teacher, I listene" to his or"s o+ encouragement. I +inall! reali2e" that this trul! as the a! things ere suppose" to happen. It "i"n.t matter i+ people hear" m! message. &hat mattere" as that I ha" +inall! come to peace ith this struggle. I as able to see that there is hope an" more to li+e. I coul" see that these struggles ma"e me stronger person. In a t iste" a!, this as a blessing. &ithout riting this speech, I ne/er oul" ha/e come to this mentalit!. I ne/er oul" ha/e gra"uate" ith peace o+ min". In the en" I "i"n.t ha/e to pro/e an!thing to an!one else. I no ha" the respect o+ m! parents, teachers, an" +inall! o+ m!sel+. ,his as all I nee"e". ,hat is hat matters.