Preventing & Eradicating Workplace Bullying

Preventing and Eradicating Terry Howard, Facilitator Workplace Bullying (972) 644-9107
warnhowa@aol.com
This information is for internal use only and is not to be copied, shared or otherwise used without permission from Terry Howard

Objectives
Heighten the awareness of workplace bullying as a threat to individual and team effectiveness and productivity.

Make a clear and compelling connection between workplace bullying and the companys profitability.
Provide some effective tools and techniques for dealing with workplace bullying on an individual level

Workplace Bullying?
Workplace Bullying can be defined as unwelcome (overt and subtle) behaviors on the part of one or more individuals whose actions have the effect of causing psychological harm thereby hampering the targets ability to perform his/her job.
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The behavior on the part of unintentional bullies tends to be

unconscious, generally non-malicious, is infrequent and is an aberration.

The behavior on the part of intentional bullies is designed to control,

intimidate and subjugate.

Feeling Bullied
Personal
Angry Humiliated Embarrassed Hurt Disengaged Frightened Sick P.Od Vengeful Traumatized/fearful Stressed out

Workplace Manifestations
Drops in productivity Eroded teamwork Tension & distrust Increased absenteeism Rising benefit costs Turnover Poor customer service Lost respect for leaders Products and services suffer Tarnished internal reputation

Harassment vs. Bullying?

Workplace Bullying Harassment*
Focus on the target based on who they are (female, Black, disabled, etc,) May consist of a single incident of multiple ones Almost exclusively psychological Anyone will do if they are a threat The treatment is usually based on the targets competence or popularity The behavior is driven by control and subjugation

The target suspects why he/she is being targeted

* Is a legally recognized term in Federal EEO law

American Law: Missing in action!

U.S. lags behind the rest of the world with respect to laws against bullying
Sweden, New Zealand, UK, Australia, France and Quebec have enacted laws and regulations

In fact, there is no national law prohibiting workplace bullying, none!

But laws have been proposed in the states of California, Hawaii, Oklahoma, Oregon, Massachusetts and Washington (Of note: San Francisco enacted a No Mobbing city policy)

Tough Management or Bullying?

Appropriate tough management is direct, legitimate feedback and rightly addresses inadequate job performance; it is not workplace bullying! Inappropriate (or bullying) tough management wrongly attacks character, is personally demeaning, humiliating, psychologically damaging and severely hurts productivity!

Whos bullying whom?

The bully can be a Supervisor or manager Peer Subordinate (upward bullying) Bullying may occur With a client or supplier

In one-on-one situations the majority In front of others By written/electronic means

Bullies are not limited to Gender, race or nationality Age Field or function

Types of Bullying Behaviors Blatant Examples

Physical or verbal assault (Should report to HR/Security) Isolating others from work interactions; freezing them out

Setting impossible deadlines and eliminating those who dont cut it

Discounting a persons contributions in public forums Over-detailed supervision or unwarranted checking up on someone

Snooping, prying, or listening to private phone conversations

Encouraging others to turn against the Target/ ganging up Yelling, screaming or using offensive language

Types of Bullying Behaviors Covert (subtle) examples

Undermining by deliberately withholding information Excluding someone socially Heavy sighs, rolling the eyes, biting sarcasm Playing head games, disabling via a fear of being fired Spreading rumors about the Target Assigning responsibility without support or authority
Ignoring someone; treating them as if theyre invisible

An unreasonable pattern of not returning phone calls

Dismissive body language; staring

Types of Bullying Behaviors Covert (subtle) examples

Constant nit picking and blowing trivial issues way out of proportion Flat out refusal to acknowledge good work & achievements Forgetting to include in important meetings, cc lists, etc Ignoring phone calls, email

Purposefully ignoring someone publicly

Biting sarcasm, snide and condescending comments

Unnecessary interruptions designed to throw someone off

A Bully Prone Organization

The Good ole boys club A culture of arrogance and huge egos People live in fear of ticking someone off People in some positions (Admins.) are not respected and treated as paper pushers People who come up with new ideas get squashed or trivialized

The Bully Composite Profile

Come from all backgrounds Are generally competent and good at what they do. Relish being at the center of attention, enjoy the limelight Are ambitious and aggressive Tend to have poor interpersonal skills Does not like fair competition Feels that he/she is above the rules

Will hold grudges

Will rarely admit to make mistakes Is quick to blame, finger point Wont hesitate to take credit for the accomplishments of others Great at kissing up & kicking down Have little integrity

Are often arrogant and great manipulators

The Target Composite Profile

Come from all backgrounds Are competent Are often physically attractive Are non-aggressive Have a very low tolerance for unfairness and intolerance Are independent, refuse to join established cliques Are helpful to others and always willing to share
Source: Bully In Sight, Tim Fields

Refuse to be subservient, subjugated or controlled Have integrity, strong ethics and values, are honest and trusting Have high expectations for authority Are sympathetic, caring and trusting, are quick to forgive Tend to be talented and creative Are well-liked, popular and respected

Major Management Mistakes

Unwillingness to deal with revenue producing bullies Engage in bullying behaviors themselves Tiptoeing around/sugarcoating feedback to the bully Assumes that bullying is nothing more than mere tough management

Dismisses the Target as just not tough enough

Assume that HR will take care of the problem Believe that over time the bully will grow out of the behavior

Business Case
At the Organizational Level: At the Individual Level: - Depression, exhaustion - Insecurity, self-doubt - Shame, embarrassment, - Insomnia, nightmares
Bullying can lead to high turnover/recruiting costs.

Workplace bullying dismantles teams and leads to groupthink which stifles creativity
Many of us have evolved into a group of yes men and women because of his behavior. He shuts down any new ideas by pulling rank. What we offer to customers has really suffered as a result. Bullied people waste time trying to defend themselves Bullies poison the environment and create low morale and depression causing the organization to pay in lost efficiency, turnover, etc.

- Poor concentration, loss focus

- Substance abuse - Thoughts of violence

And if I witness it (3rd party)!

Call attention to the behavior by speaking directly to the perpetuator in private!

Focus on the impact of his/her behavior

Explore with him/her alternative behaviors

Point the person to resources, if appropriate
Call attention to the behavior by speaking directly to the Target

Say youve observed it and want to validate its impact Find out how she/he feels about the behavior Explore options: Direct approach, supervision, HR, Ethics Point the person to resources, i.e., books,

Take the bully by the horns

If you choose to fight rather than take flight..

Understand the type of bully youre up against

Select from the toolbox your tools

Finalize your approach and practice it

Prepare yourself mentally

Effective assertive responses A. Im sorry that you choose to behave that way!

Youre expressing regret

Points out that its about him, not you.

Makes her own the behavior

Focuses on the behavior and not the person

B. There are certain things around here that are simply non-negotiable -- treating me with respect is one of them!

Dealing With a Peer Bully

Request the meeting to discuss something important to our relationship.do not share anything more! Have her/him meet you in your office or in some neutral place Take control of the encounter set a 15 minute time limit Firmly say that calls, doing email, other interruptions wont be allowed Avoid any small talk; get right to the point. Be direct.

If the boss is the bully

Carefully consider his/her personality and how the feedback may be received. Start with the good whats positive about the relationship! Say whats not working for you, exact behaviors on his/her part that has adversely impacted your productivity. Express what youd like to see done differently. Allow the boss to respond; dont get into a debate. Commit to doing your part to make things work and to maintain a consistent level of solid performance. Thank her/him for hearing you out.

8 Ways To Bully-Proof Yourself

1) Take an assertive approach early to establish and enforce your boundaries (bullies bully those who they think they can bully) 2) Convey clearly that unacceptable behavior is not acceptable silence may give the bully the green light 3) Be forceful when the bully does not respond to peaceful, reasonable approaches but never resort to physical acts 4) Hold the bully accountable for his/her behavior

8 Ways To Bully-Proof Yourself

5) Speak with authority and with a commanding presence - any perceived weakness makes you susceptible 6) State your demands using you statements - tell the bully what you want in a firm way; it will get his attention 7) Dont be thrown off by taunts and dont respond in kind address the bully by name and tell him or her to stop! 8) Avoid giving them long explanations; be clear that certain things are non-negotiable and not open to debate!

Guidance for Supervisors and Managers

Never assume that bullying is non-existent because you dont see it Dont engage in a witch hunt but do pay attention to your environment

Resist blaming the victim as just not tough enough.

Never assume that bullying is just tough management Coach those employees who exhibit potential bullying tendencies Be on the lookout for red flags sudden drops in productivity, increased absenteeism Lead by example! Avoid behavior that may send the wrong signal to potential bullies Dont reward results at all costs! Make it clear that respectful treatment is an element of overall performance punish bad behavior!

Other workshops by Terry

Building trust across differences Contemporary Diversity & Inclusion Dilemmas Understanding cultural differences Dealing with those subtle micro messages in the workplace Understanding the U. S. American Black folks and white folksour culture-bases patterns of difference