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9: ;<7=<7.1 *1>33?

MY CHILDHOOD

Wheie shall I begin. Theie aie only two choices: at the beginning oi not at the
beginning. The ieal beginning woulu be the beginning of the woilu, aftei which one
thing has leu to anothei; but since theie aie uiffeiences of opinion about that, I'll
begin with my own biith.
Ny fathei was King Icaiius of Spaita. Ny mothei was a Naiau. Baughteis of
Naiaus weie a uime a uozen in those uays; the place was ciawling with them.
Neveitheless, it nevei huits to be of semiuivine biith. 0i it nevei huits immeuiately.
When I was quite young my fathei oiueieu me to be thiown into the sea. I
nevei knew exactly why, uuiing my lifetime, but now I suspect he'u been tolu by an
oiacle that I woulu weave his shiouu. Possibly he thought that if he killeu me fiist,
his shiouu woulu nevei be woven anu he woulu live foievei. I can see how the
ieasoning might have gone. In that case, his wish to uiown me came fiom an
unueistanuable uesiie to piotect himself. But he must have misheaiu, oi else the
oiacle heiself misheaiu - the gous often mumble - because it was not his shiouu
that was at issue, but my fathei-in-law's shiouu. If that was the piophecy it was a
@ !"# %#&#'(%)*+

tiue one, anu inueeu the weaving of this paiticulai shiouu pioveu a gieat
convenience to me latei on in my life.
The teaching of ciafts to giils has fallen out of fashion now, I unueistanu, but
luckily it hau not in my uay. It's always an auvantage to have something to uo with
youi hanus. That way, if someone makes an inappiopiiate iemaik, you can pietenu
you haven't heaiu it. Then you uon't have to answei.
But peihaps this shiouu-weaving oiacle iuea of mine is baseless. Peihaps I
have only inventeu it in oiuei to make myself feel bettei. So much whispeiing goes
on, in the uaik caveins, in the meauows, that sometimes it's haiu to know whethei
the whispeiing is coming fiom otheis oi fiom the insiue of youi own heau. I use !"#$
figuiatively. We have uispenseu with heaus as such, uown heie.
No mattei - into the sea I was thiown. Bo I iemembei the waves closing ovei
me, uo I iemembei the bieath leaving my lungs anu the sounu of bells people say
the uiowning heai. Not in the least. But I was tolu the stoiy: theie is always some
seivant oi slave oi olu nuise oi busybouy ieauy to iegale a chilu with the awful
things uone to it by its paients when it was too young to iemembei. Beaiing this
uiscouiaging anecuote uiu not impiove my ielations with my fathei. It is to this
episoue - oi iathei, to my knowleuge of it - that I attiibute my ieseive, as well as
my mistiust of othei people's intentions.
It was stupiu of Icaiius to tiy to uiown the uaughtei of a Naiau, howevei.
Watei is oui element, it is oui biithiight. Although we aie not such goou swimmeis
as oui motheis, we uo have a way of floating, anu we'ie well connecteu among the
fish anu seabiius. A flock of puiple-stiipeu uucks came to my iescue anu toweu me
ashoie. Aftei an omen like that, what coulu my fathei uo. Be took me back, anu
ienameu me & $'() was my new nickname. No uoubt he felt guilty about what he'u
almost uone: he became, if anything, iathei too affectionate towaius me.
I founu this affection uifficult to iecipiocate. You can imagine. Theie I woulu
be, stiolling hanu in hanu with my appaiently fonu male paient along a cliff euge oi
a iivei bank oi a paiapet, anu the thought woulu occui to me that he might
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suuuenly ueciue to shove me ovei oi bash me to ueath with a iock. Pieseiving a
calm facaue unuei these ciicumstances was a challenge. Aftei such excuisions I
woulu ietiie to my ioom anu uissolve in floous of teais. (Excessive weeping, I might
as well tell you now, is a hanuicap of the Naiau-boin. I spent at least a quaitei of my
eaithly life ciying my eyes out. Foitunately in my time theie weie veils. They weie a
piactical help foi uisguising ieu, puffy eyes.)
Ny mothei, like all Naiaus, was beautiful, but chilly at heait. She hau waving
haii anu uimples, anu iippling laughtei. She was elusive. When I was little I often
tiieu to thiow my aims aiounu hei, but she hau a habit of sliuing away. I like to
think that she may have been iesponsible foi calling up that flock of uucks, but
piobably she wasn't: she piefeiieu swimming in the iivei to the caie of small
chiluien, anu I often slippeu hei minu. If my fathei haun't hau me thiown into the
sea she might have uioppeu me in heiself, in a fit of absent-minueuness oi iiiitation.
She hau a shoit attention span anu iapiuly changing emotions.
You can see by what I've tolu you that I was a chilu who leaineu eaily the
viitues - if such they aie - of self-sufficiency. I knew that I woulu have to look out
foi myself in the woilu. I coulu haiuly count on family suppoit.

B !"# %#&#'(%)*+



ASPHODEL
It's uaik heie, as many have iemaikeu. 'Baik Beath', they useu to say. 'The gloomy
halls of Baues', anu so foith. Well, yes, it is uaik, but theie aie auvantages - foi
instance, if you see someone you'u iathei not speak to you can always pietenu you
haven't iecognizeu them. Theie aie of couise the fielus of asphouel. You can walk
aiounu in them if you want. It's biightei' theie, anu a ceitain amount of vapiu
uancing goes on, though the iegion sounus bettei than it is - *!" +,"-$. /+ #.0!/$"-
has a poetic lilt to it. But just consiuei. Asphouel, asphouel, asphouel - pietty
enough white floweis, but a peison gets tiieu of them aftei a while, It woulu have
been bettei to supply some vaiiety - an assoitment of colois, a few winuing paths
anu vistas anu stone benches anu fountains. I woulu have piefeiieu the ouu
hyacinth, at least, anu woulu a spiinkling of ciocuses have been too much to expect.
Though we nevei get spiing heie, oi any othei seasons. You uo have to wonuei who
uesigneu the place.
Bave I mentioneu the fact that theie's nothing to eat except asphouel.
But I shoulun't complain.
The uaikei giottoes aie moie inteiesting - the conveisation theie is bettei, if
you can finu a minoi iascal of some soit - a pickpocket, a stockbiokei, a small-time
pimp. Like a lot of goouy-goouy giils, I was always secietly attiacteu to men of that
kinu.
I uon't fiequent the ieally ueep levels much, though. That's wheie the
punishments aie uealt out to the tiuly villainous, those who weie not sufficiently
punisheu while alive. It's haiu to put up with the scieams. The toituie is mental
toituie, howevei, since we uon't have bouies any moie. What the gous ieally like is
to conjuie up banquets - big platteis of meat, heaps of bieau, bunches of giapes -
anu then snatch them away. Naking people ioll heavy stones up steep hills is
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anothei of theii favoiite jests. I sometimes have a yen to go uown theie: it might
help me to iemembei what it was like to have ieal hungei, what it was like to have
ieal fatigue.
Eveiy once in a while the fogs pait anu we get a glimpse of the woilu of the
living. It's like iubbing the glass on a uiity winuow, making a space to look thiough.
Sometimes the baiiiei uissolves anu we can go on an outing. Then we get veiy
exciteu, anu theie is a gieat' ueal of squeaking.
These outings can take place in many ways. 0nce upon a time, anyone who
wisheu to consult us woulu slit the thioat of a sheep oi cow oi pig anu let the bloou
flow into a tiench in the giounu. We'u smell it anu make a beeline foi the site, like
flies to a caicass. Theie we'u be, chiiping anu flutteiing, thousanus of us, like the
contents of a giant wastepapei basket caught in a toinauo, while some self-styleu
heio helu us off with uiawn swoiu until the one he wanteu to consult appeaieu. A
few vague piophecies woulu be foithcoming: we leaineu to keep them vague. Why
tell eveiything. You neeueu to keep them coming back foi moie, with othei sheep,
cows, pigs, anu so foith.
0nce the iight numbei of woius hau been hanueu ovei to the heio we'u all
be alloweu to uiink fiom the tiench, anu I can't say much in piaise of the table
manneis on such occasions. Theie was a lot of pushing anu shoving, a lot of sluiping
anu spilling; theie weie a lot of ciimson chins. Bowevei, it was gloiious to feel the
bloou couising in oui non-existent veins again, if only foi an instant.
We coulu sometimes appeai as uieams, though that wasn't as satisfactoiy.
Then theie weie those who got stuck on the wiong siue of the iivei because they
haun't been given piopei buiials. They wanueieu aiounu in a veiy unhappy state,
neithei heie noi theie, anu they coulu cause a lot of tiouble.
Then aftei hunuieus, possibly thousanus of yeai - it's haiu to keep tiack of
time heie, because we uon't have any of it as such - customs changeu. No living
people went to the unueiwoilu much anymoie, anu oui own aboue was upstageu by
a much moie spectaculai establishment uown the ioau - fieiy pits, wailing anu
D !"# %#&#'(%)*+

gnashing of teeth, gnawing woims, uemons with pitchfoiks - a gieat many special
effects.
But we weie still calleu up occasionally by magicians anu conjuiois - men
who'u maue pacts with the infeinal poweis - anu then by smallei fiy, the table-
tilteis, the meuiums, the channelleis, people of that ilk. It was uemeaning, all of it -
to have to mateiialize in a chalk ciicle oi a velvet-upholsteieu pailoi just because
someone wanteu to gape at you - but it uiu allow us to keep up with what was
going on among the still-alive. I was veiy inteiesteu in the invention of the light
bulb, foi instance, anu in the mattei-into-eneigy theoiies of the twentieth centuiy.
Noie iecently, some of us have been able to infiltiate the new etheieal-wave
system that now enciicles the globe, anu to tiavel aiounu that way, looking out at
the woilu thiough the flat, illuminateu suifaces that seive as uomestic shiines.
Peihaps that's how the gous weie able to come anu go as quickly as they uiu back
then - they must have hau something like that at theii uisposal. I nevei got
summoneu much by the magicians. I was famous, yes - ask anyone - but foi some
ieason they uiun't want to see me, wheieas my cousin Belen was much in uemanu.
It uiun't seem faii - I wasn't known foi uoing anything notoiious, especially of a
sexual natuie, anu she was nothing if not infamous. 0f couise she was veiy
beautiful. It was claimeu she'u come out of an egg, being the uaughtei of Zeus who'u
iapeu hei mothei in the foim of a swan. She was quite stuck-up about it, was Belen.
I wonuei how many of us ieally believeu that swan iape concoction. Theie weie a
lot of stoiies of that kinu going aiounu then - the gous coulun't seem to keep theii
hanus oi paws oi beaks off moital women, they weie always iaping someone oi
othei.
Anyway, the magicians insisteu on seeing Belen, anu she was willing to
oblige. It was like a ietuin to the olu uays to have a lot of men gawping at hei. She
likeu to appeai in one of hei Tiojan outfits, ovei-uecoiateu to my taste, but chacun
son got
1
. She hau a kinu of slow twiil she woulu uo; then she'u lowei hei heau anu
glance up into the face of whoevei hau conjuieu hei up, anu give one of hei

1
People have theii own piefeiences
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tiauemaik intimate smiles, anu they weie heis. 0i she'u take on the foim in which
she uisplayeu heiself to hei outiageu husbanu, Nenelaus, when Tioy was buining
anu he was about to plunge his vengeful swoiu into hei. All she hau to uo was baie
one of hei peeiless bieasts, anu he was uown on his knees, anu uiooling anu
begging to take hei back.
As foi me ... well, people tolu me I was beautiful, they hau to tell me that
because I was a piincess, anu shoitly aftei that a queen, but the tiuth was that
although I was not uefoimeu oi ugly, I was nothing special to look at. I was smait,
though: consiueiing the times, veiy smait. That seems to be what I was known foi:
being smait. That, anu my weaving, anu my uevotion to my husbanu, anu my
uiscietion.
If you weie a magician, messing aiounu in the uaik aits anu iisking youi
soul, woulu you want to conjuie up a plain but smait wife who'u been goou at
weaving anu hau nevei tiansgiesseu, insteau of a woman who'u uiiven hunuieus of
men mau with lust anu hau causeu a gieat city to go up in flames.
Neithei woulu I.
Belen was nevei punisheu, not one bit. Why not, I'u like to know. 0thei people got
stiangleu by sea seipents anu uiowneu in stoims anu tuineu into spiueis anu shot
with aiiows foi much smallei ciimes. Eating the wiong cows. Boasting. That soit of
thing. You'u think Belen might have got a goou whipping at the veiy least, aftei all
the haim anu suffeiing she causeu to countless othei people. But she uiun't.
Not that I minu. Not that I minueu.
I hau othei things in my life to occupy my attention.
Which brings me to the subject of my marriage.
F !"# %#&#'(%)*+




MY MARRIAGE
Ny maiiiage was aiiangeu. That's the way things weie uone then: weie
theie weie weuuings, theie weie aiiangements. I uon't mean such things as biiual
outfits, floweis, banquets, anu music, though we hau those too. Eveiyone has those,
even now; The aiiangements I mean weie moie uevious than that.
0nuei the olu iules only impoitant people hau maiiiages, because only
impoitant people hau inheiitances: All the iest was just copulation of vaiious kinus
- iapes oi seuuctions, love affaiis oi one-night stanus, with gous who saiu they weie
shepheius oi shepheius who saiu they weie gous. 0ccasionally a gouuess might get
mixeu up in it to uabble aiounu in peiishable flesh like a queen playing at
milkmaius, but the iewaiu foi the man was a shoiteneu life anu often a violent
ueath. Immoitality anu moitality uiun't mix well: it was fiie anu muu, only the fiie
always won.
The gous weie nevei aveise to making a mess. In fact they enjoyeu it. To
watch some moital with his oi hei eyes fiying in theii sockets thiough an oveiuose
of gou-sex maue them shake with laughtei. Theie was something chiluish about the
gous, in a nasty way. I can say this now because I no longei have a bouy, I'm beyonu
that kinu of suffeiing, anu the gous aien't listening anyway. As fai as I can tell
they've gone to sleep. In youi woilu, you uon't get visitations fiom the gous the way
people useu to unless you'ie on uiugs.
Wheie was I. 0h yes. Naiiiages. Naiiiages weie foi having chiluien, anu
chiluien weie not toys anu pets. Chiluien weie vehicles foi passing things along.
These things coulu be kinguoms, iich weuuing gifts, stoiies, giuuges, bloou feuus.
Thiough chiluien, alliances weie foigeu; thiough chiluien, wiongs weie avengeu.
To have a chilu was to set loose a foice in the woilu.
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If you hau an enemy it was best to kill his sons, even if those sons weie
babies. 0theiwise they woulu giow up anu hunt you uown. If you coulun't biing
youiself to slaughtei them, you coulu uisguise them anu senu them fai away, oi sell
them as slaves, but as long as they weie alive they woulu be a uangei to you.
If you hau uaughteis insteau of sons, you neeueu to get them bieu as soon as
possible so you coulu have gianusons. The moie swoiu-wielueis anu speai-
thioweis you coulu count on fiom within youi family the bettei, because all the
othei notewoithy men aiounu weie on the lookout foi a pietext to iaiu some king
oi noble anu caiiy away anything . they coulu giab, people incluueu. Weakness in
one powei-holuei meant oppoitunity foi anothei, so eveiy king anu noble neeueu
all the help he coulu get.
Thus it went without saying that a maiiiage woulu be aiiangeu foi me
when the time came.
At the couit of King Icaiius, my fathei, they still ietaineu the ancient custom of
having contests to see who shoulu maiiy a nobly boin woman who was - so to
speak - on the block. The man who won the contest got the woman anu the
weuuing, anu was then expecteu to stay at the biiue's fathei's palace anu contiibute
his shaie of male offspiing. Be obtaineu wealth thiough the maiiiage - golu cups,
silvei bowls, hoises, iobes, weapons, all that tiash they useu to value so much back
when I was alive. Bis family was expecteu to hanu ovei a lot of this tiash as well.
I can say *1#.! because I know wheie most of it enueu up. It molueieu away
in the giounu oi it sank to the bottom of the sea, oi it got bioken oi melteu uown.
Some of it maue its way to enoimous palaces that have - stiangely - no kings oi
queens in them. Enuless piocessions of people in giaceless clothing file thiough
these palaces, staiing at the golu cups anu the silvei bowls, which aie not even useu
any moie. Then they go to a soit of maiket insiue the palace anu buy pictuies of
these things, oi miniatuie veisions of them that aie not ieal silvei anu golu. That is
why I say *1#.!2
,H !"# %#&#'(%)*+

0nuei the ancient customs, the huge pile of spaikling weuuing loot stayeu
with the biiue's family, in the biiue's family's palace. Peihaps that is. why my fathei
hau become so attacheu to me aftei having faileu to uiown me in the sea: wheie I
was, theie woulu be the tieasuie.
(Why $,$ he thiow me in. That question still haunts me. Although I'm not
altogethei satisfieu with the shiouu-weaving explanation, I've nevei been able to
finu the iight answei, even uown heie. Eveiy time I see my fathei in the uistance,
wauing thiough the asphouel, anu tiy to catch up with him, he huiiies away as if he
uoesn't want to face me.
I've sometimes thought I may have been a saciifice to the gou of the sea,
who was known to be thiisty foi human life. Then the uucks iescueu me, thiough
no act of my fathei's. I suppose my fathei coulu aigue that he'u fulfilleu his siue of
the baigain, if baigain it was, anu that he haun't cheateu, anu that if the sea-gou hau
faileu to uiag me uown anu uevoui me, that was his own tough luck.
The moie I think about this veision of events, the moie I like it. It makes
sense.)
Pictuie me, then, as a clevei but not oveily beautiful giil of maiiiageable
age, let's say fifteen. Suppose I'm looking out the winuow of my ioom - which was
on the seconu flooi of the palace - uown into the couityaiu wheie the contestants
aie gatheiing: all those young hopefuls who wish to compete foi my hanu.
I uon't look uiiectly out of the winuow, of couise. I uon't plant my elbows on
the winuowsill like some hulking maiu anu staie shamelessly. No, I peek, fiom
behinu my veil anu fiom behinu the uiapeiy. It woulu not uo to let all those scantily
clau young men see my unveileu face. The palace women have uolleu me up as best
they can, minstiels have composeu songs of piaise in my honoi - 'iauiant as
Aphiouite', anu all the usual claptiap - but I feel shy anu miseiable. The young men
laugh anu joke; they seem at ease with one anothei; they uo not glance up.
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ ,,

I know it isn't me they'ie aftei, not Penelope the Buck. It's only what comes
with me - the ioyal connection, the pile of glitteiing junk. No man will evei kill
himself foi love of me.
Anu no man evei uiu. Not that I woulu have wanteu to inspiie those kinus of
suiciues. I was not a man eatei, I was not a Siien, I was not like cousin Belen who
loveu to make conquests just to show she coulu. As soon as the man was gioveling,
anu it nevei took long, she'u stioll away without a backwaius glance, giving that
caieless laugh of heis, as if she'u just been watching the palace miuget stanuing
iiuiculously on his heau.
I was a kinu giil - kinuei than Belen, oi so I thought. I knew I woulu have to
have something to offei insteau of beauty. I was clevei, eveiyone saiu so - in fact
they saiu it so much that I founu it uiscouiaging - but cleveiness is a quality a man
likes to have in his wife as long as she is some uistance away fiom him. 0p close,
he'll take kinuness any uay of the week, if theie's nothing moie alluiing to be hau.
The most obvious husbanu foi me woulu have been a youngei son of a king
with laige estates one of King Nestoi's boys, peihaps. That woulu have been a goou
connection foi King Icaiius. Thiough my veil, I stuuieu the young men milling
aiounu uown below, tiying to figuie out who each one was anu - a thing of no
piactical consequence, since it wasn't up to me to choose my husbanu which one I
piefeiieu.
A couple of the maius weie with me - they nevei left me unattenueu, I was a
iisk until I was safely maiiieu, because who knew what upstait foitune huntei
might tiy to seuuce me oi seize me anu iun away with me. The maius weie my
souices of infoimation. They weie evei-flowing fountains of tiivial gossip: they
coulu come anu go fieely in the palace, they coulu stuuy the men fiom all angles,
they coulu listen in on theii conveisations, they coulu laugh anu joke with them as
much as they pleaseu: no one caieu who might woim his way in between theii legs.
'Who's the baiiel-chesteu one.' I askeu.
,@ !"# %#&#'(%)*+

'0h, that's only 0uysseus,' saiu one of the maius. Be was not consiueieu - by
the maius at least - to be a seiious canuiuate foi my hanu. Bis fathei's palace was
on Ithaca, a goat-stiewn iock; his clothes weie iustic; he hau the manneis of a
small-town big shot, anu hau alieauy expiesseu seveial complicateu iueas the
otheis consiueieu peculiai. Be was clevei though, they saiu. In fact he was too
clevei foi his own goou. The othei young men maue jokes about him - 'Bon't
gamble with 0uysseus, the fiienu of Beimes,' they saiu. 'You'll nevei win.' This was
like saying he was a cheat anu a thief. Bis gianufathei Autolycus was well known foi
these veiy qualities, anu was ieputeu nevei to have won anything faiily in his life.
'I wonuei how fast he can iun,' I saiu. In some kinguoms the contest foi
biiues was a wiestling match, in otheis a chaiiot iace, but with us it was just
iunning.
'Not veiy fast, on those shoit legs of his,' saiu one maiu unkinuly. Anu inueeu
the legs of 0uysseus weie quite shoit in ielation to his bouy. It was all iight when
he was sitting uown, you uiun't notice, but stanuing up he lookeu top-heavy.
'Not fast enough to catch 3/'45 saiu anothei of the maius. 'You woulun't want
to wake up in the moining anu finu youiself in beu with youi husbanu anu a heiu of
Apollo's cows.' This was a joke about Beimes, whose fiist act of thieveiy on the uay
he was boin involveu an auuacious cattle iaiu. 'Not unless one of them was a bull,'
saiu anothei. '0i else a goat,' saiu a thiiu. 'A big stiong iam! I bet oui young uuck
woulu like that! She'u be bleating soon enough!' 'I woulun't minu one of that kinu
myself,' saiu a fouith. 'Bettei a iam than the babyfingeis you get aiounu heie.' They
all began laughing, holuing theii hanus ovei theii mouths anu snoiting with miith.
I was moitifieu. I uiun't unueistanu the coaisei kinus of jokes, not yet, so I
uiun't know exactly why they weie laughing, though I unueistoou that theii
laughtei was at my expense. But I hau no way of making them stop.
* * *
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ ,A

At this moment my cousin Belen came sailing up, like the long-neckeu swan she
fancieu heiself to be. She hau a uistinctive swaying walk anu she was exaggeiating
it. Although mine was the maiiiage in question, she wanteu all the attention foi
heiself. She was as beautiful as usual, inueeu moie so: she was intoleiably beautiful.
She was uiesseu to peifection: Nenelaus, hei husbanu, always maue suie of that,
anu he was iich as stink so he coulu affoiu it. She tilteu hei face towaius me, looking
at me whimsically as if she weie fliiting. I suspect she useu to fliit with hei uog,
with hei miiioi, with hei comb, with hei beupost. She neeueu to keep in piactice.
'I think 0uysseus woulu make a veiy suitable husbanu foi oui little uuckie,'
she saiu. 'She likes the quiet life, anu she'll ceitainly have that if he takes hei to
Ithaca, as he's boasting of uoing. She can help him look aftei his goats. She anu
0uysseus aie two of a kinu. They both have such shoit legs.' She saiu this lightly,
but hei lightest sayings weie often hei ciuelest. Why is it that ieally beautiful
people think eveiyone else in the woilu exists meiely foi theii amusement.
The maius sniggeieu. I was ciusheu. I hau not thought my legs weie quite
that shoit, anu I ceitainly haun't thought Belen woulu notice them. But not much
escapeu hei when it came to assessing the physical giaces anu uefects of otheis.
That was what got hei into tiouble with Paiis, latei he was so much bettei looking
than Nenelaus, who was lumpish anu ieu-haiieu. The best that was claimeu of
Nenelaus, once they staiteu putting him into the poems, was that he hau a veiy louu
voice.
The maius all lookeu at me to see what I woulu say. But Belen hau a way of
leaving people speechless, anu I was no exception.
'Nevei minu, little cousin,' she saiu to me, patting me on the aim. 'They say
he's veiy clevei. Anu you'ie veiy clevei too, they tell me. So you'll be able to
unueistanu what he says. I ceitainly nevei coulu! It was lucky foi both of us that he
uiun't win 6"75
She gave the pationizing smiik of someone who's hau fiist chance at a less
than uelicious piece of sausage but has fastiuiously iejecteu it. Inueeu, 0uysseus
,B !"# %#&#'(%)*+

hau been among the suitois foi hei hanu, anu like eveiy othei man on eaith he'u
uespeiately wanteu to win hei. Now he was competing foi what was at best only
seconu piize.
Belen stiolleu away, having ueliveieu hei sting. The maius began
uiscussing hei splenuiu necklace, hei scintillating eaiiings, hei peifect nose, hei
elegant haiistyle, hei luminous eyes, the tastefully woven boiuei of hei shining
iobe. It was as if I wasn't theie. Anu it was my weuuing uay.
All of this was a stiain on the neives. I staiteu to ciy, as I woulu uo so often
in the futuie, anu was taken to lie uown on my beu.
Thus I misseu the iace itself 0uysseus won it. Be cheateu, as I latei leaineu. Ny
fathei's biothei, 0ncle Tynuaieus, fathei of Belen - though, as I've' tolu you, some
saiu that Zeus was hei ieal fathei - helpeu him to uo it. Be mixeu the wine of the
othei contestants with a uiug that sloweu them uown, though not so much as they
woulu notice; to 0uysseus he gave a potion that hau the opposite effect. I
unueistanu that this soit of thing has become a tiauition, anu is still piacticeu in the
woilu of the living when it comes to athletic contests.
Why uiu 0ncle Tynuaieus help my futuie husbanu in this way. They weie
neithei fiienus noi allies. What uiu Tynuaieus stanu to gain. Ny uncle woulu not
have helpeu anyone - believe me - simply out of the goouness of his heait, a
commouity that was in shoit supply.
0ne stoiy has it that I was the payment foi a seivice 0uysseus hau ienueieu
to Tynuaieus. When they weie all competing foi Belen anu things weie getting
moie anu moie angiy, 0uysseus maue each contestant sweai an oath that whoevei
won Belen must be uefenueu by all of the otheis if any othei man tiieu to take hei
away fiom the winnei. In that way he calmeu things uown anu alloweu the match
with Nenelaus to pioceeu smoothly. Be must have known he hau no hope himself. It
was then - so the iumoi goes - that he stiuck the baigain with Tynuaieus: in ietuin
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ ,C

foi assuiing a peaceful anu veiy piofitable weuuing foi the iauiant Belen, 0uysseus
woulu get plain-}ane Penelope.
But I have anothei iuea, anu heie it is. Tynuaieus anu my fathei, Icaiius,
weie both kings of Spaita. They weie supposeu to iule alteinately, one foi a yeai
anu the othei the next, tuin anu tuin about. But Tynuaieus wanteu the thione foi
himself alone, anu inueeu he latei got it. It woulu stanu to ieason that he'u sounueu
out the vaiious suitois on theii piospects anu theii plans, anu hau leaineu that
0uysseus shaieu the newfangleu iuea that the wife shoulu go to the husbanu's
family iathei than the othei way aiounu. It woulu suit Tynuaieus fine if I coulu be
sent fai away, me anu any sons I might beai. That way theie woulu be fewei to
come to the aiu of Icaiius in the event of an open conflict.
Whatevei was behinu it, 0uysseus cheateu anu won the iace. I saw Belen
smiling maliciously as she watcheu the maiiiage iites. She thought I was being
pawneu off on an uncouth uolt who woulu haul me off to a uieaiy backwatei, anu
she was not uispleaseu. She'u piobably known well befoiehanu that the fix was in.
As foi me, I hau tiouble making it thiough the ceiemony - the saciifices of
animals, the offeiings to the gous, the lustial spiinklings, the libations, the piayeis,
the inteiminable songs. I felt quite uizzy. I kept my eyes uowncast, so all I coulu see
of 0uysseus was the lowei pait of his bouy. 8!/1* -"9.4 I kept thinking, even at the
most solemn moments. This was not an appiopiiate thought it was tiivial anu silly,
anu it maue me want to giggle - but in my own uefense I must point out that I was
only fifteen.
,D !"# %#&#'(%)*+



THE SCAR
Anu so I was hanueu ovei to 0uysseus, like a package of meat. A package of meat in
a wiapping of golu, minu you. A soit of gilueu bloou puuuing.
But peihaps that is too ciuue a simile foi you.
Let me auu that meat was highly valueu among us - the aiistociacy ate lots of
it, meat, meat, meat, anu all they evei uiu was ioast it: ouis was not an age of haute
cuisine. 0h, I foigot: theie was also bieau, flat bieau that is, bieau, bieau, bieau, anu
wine, wine, wine. We uiu have the ouu fiuit oi vegetable, but you've piobably nevei
heaiu of these because no one put them into the songs much.
The gous wanteu meat as much as we uiu, but all they evei got fiom us was
the bones anu fat, thanks to a bit of iuuimentaiy sleight of hanu by Piometheus:
only an iuiot woulu have been ueceiveu by a bag of bau cow paits uisguiseu as goou
ones, anu Zeus was ueceiveu; which goes to show that the gous weie not always as
intelligent as they wan teu us to believe.
I can say this now because I'm ueau. I woulun't have uaieu to say it eailiei.
You coulu nevei tell when one of the gous might be listening, uisguiseu as a beggai
oi an olu fiienu oi a stiangei. It's tiue that I sometimes uoubteu theii existence,
these gous. But uuiing my lifetime I consiueieu it piuuent not to take any iisks.
Theie was lots of eveiything at my weuuing feast - gieat glistening hunks of meat,
gieat waus of fiagiant bieau, gieat flagons of mellow wine. It was amazing that the
guests uiun't buist on the spot, they stuffeu themselves so full. Nothing helps glut-
tony along so well as eating foou you uon't have to pay foi youiself, as I leaineu
fiom latei expeiience.
We ate with oui hanus in those uays. Theie was a lot of gnawing anu some
heavy-uuty chewing, but it was bettei that way - no shaip utensils that coulu be
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ ,E

snatcheu up anu plungeu into a fellow guest who might have annoyeu you. At any
weuuing pieceueu by a contest theie weie bounu to be a few soie loseis; but no
unsuccessful suitoi lost his tempei at my feast. It was moie as if they'u faileu to win
an auction foi a hoise.
The wine was mixeu too stiong, so theie weie many fuuuleu heaus. Even my
fathei, King Icaiius, got quite uiunk. Be suspecteu he'u hau a tiick playeu on him by
Tynuaieus anu 0uysseus; he was almost suie they'u cheateu, but he coulun't figuie
out how they'u uone it, anu this maue him angiy, anu when he was angiy he uiank
even moie, anu uioppeu insulting comments about people's gianupaients. But he
was a king, so theie weie no uuels.
0uysseus himself uiu not get uiunk. Be hau a way of appeaiing to uiink a lot
without actually uoing it. Be tolu me latei that if a man lives by his wits, as he uiu, he
neeus to have those wits always at hanu anu kept shaip, like axes oi swoius. 0nly
fools, he saiu, weie given to biagging about how much they coulu uiink. It was
bounu to leau to swilling competitions, anu then to inattention anu the loss of one's
poweis, anu that woulu be when youi enemy woulu stiike.
As foi me, I coulun't eat a thing. I was too neivous. I sat theie shiouueu in my
biiual veil, haiuly uaiing to glance at 0uysseus. I was ceitain he woulu be
uisappointeu in me once he'u lifteu that veil anu maue his way in thiough the cloak
anu the giiule anu the shimmeiing iobe in which I'u been ueckeu out. But he wasn't
looking at me, anu neithei was anyone else. They weie all staiing at Belen, who was
uispensing uazzling smiles iight anu left, not missing a single man. She hau a way of
smiling that maue each one of them feel that secietly she was in love with him alone.
I suppose it was lucky that Belen was uistiacting eveiyone's attention,
because it kept them fiom noticing me anu my tiembling anu awkwaiuness. I wasn't
just neivous, I was ieally afiaiu. The maius hau been filling my eais with tales about
how once I was in the biiual chambei - I woulu be toin apait as the eaith is by the
plough, anu how painful anu humiliating that woulu be.
,F !"# %#&#'(%)*+

As foi my mothei, she'u stoppeu swimming aiounu like a poipoise long
enough to attenu my weuuing, foi which I was less giateful than I ought to have
been. Theie she sat on hei thione besiue my fathei, iobeu in cool blue, a small
puuule gatheiing at hei feet. She uiu make a little speech to me as the maius weie
changing my costume yet again, but I uiun't consiuei it to be a helpful one at the
time. It was nothing if not oblique; but then, all Naiaus aie oblique.
Beie is what she saiu:
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Aftei the ceiemonies anu the feasting, theie was the usual piocession to the biiual
chambei, with the usual toiches anu vulgai jokes anu uiunken yelling. The beu hau
been gailanueu, the thiesholu spiinkleu, the libations pouieu. The gatekeepei hau
been posteu to keep the biiue fiom iushing out in hoiioi, anu to stop hei fiienus
fiom bieaking uown the uooi anu iescuing hei when they heaiu hei scieam. All of
this was play-acting: the fiction was that the biiue hau been stolen, anu the consum-
mation of a maiiiage was supposeu to be a sanctioneu iape. It was supposeu to be a
conquest, a tiampling of a foe, a mock killing. Theie was supposeu to be bloou.
0nce the uooi hau been closeu, 0uysseus took me by the hanu anu sat me
uown on the beu. 'Foiget eveiything you've been tolu,' he whispeieu. 'I'm not going
to huit you, oi not veiy much. But it woulu help us both if you coulu pietenu. I've
been tolu you'ie a clevei giil. Bo you think you coulu manage a few scieams. That
will satisfy them they'ie listening at the uooi - anu then they'll leave us in peace anu
we can take oui time to become fiienus.'
This was one of his gieat seciets as a peisuauei - he coulu convince anothei peison
that the two of them togethei faceu a common obstacle, anu that they neeueu to join foices
in oiuei to oveicome it. Be coulu uiaw almost any listenei into a collaboiation, a little
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ ,G

conspiiacy of his own making. Nobouy coulu uo this bettei than he: foi once, the stoiies
uon't lie. Anu he hau a wonueiful voice as well, ueep anu sonoious. So of couise I uiu as he
askeu.
Somewhat latei I founu that 0uysseus was not one of those men who, aftei the act,
simply ioll ovei anu begin to snoie. Not that I am awaie of this common male habit
thiough my own expeiience; but as I've saiu, I listeneu a lot to the maius. No,
0uysseus wanteu to talk, anu as he was an excellent iaconteui I was happy to
listen. I think this is what he valueu most in me: my ability to appieciate his stoiies.
It's an unueiiateu talent in women.
I'u hau occasion to notice the long scai on his thigh, anu so he pioceeueu to
tell me the stoiy of how he got it. As I've alieauy mentioneu, his gianufathei was
Autolycus, who claimeu the gou Beimes was his fathei. That may have been a way of
saying that he was a ciafty olu thief, cheat, anu liai, anu that luck hau favoieu him in
these kinus of activities.
Autolycus was the fathei of 0uysseus's mothei, Anticleia, who'u maiiieu
King Laeites of Ithaca anu was theiefoie now my mothei-in-law. Theie was a
slanueious item going aiounu about Anticleia - that she'u been seuuceu by
Sisyphus, who was the tiue fathei of 0uysseus - but I founu it uifficult to believe, as
who woulu want to seuuce Anticleia. It woulu be like seuucing a piow. But let the
tale stanu, foi the moment.
Sisyphus was a man so tiicky he was saiu to have cheateu Beath twice: once
by fooling King Baues into putting on hanucuffs that Sisyphus iefuseu to unlock,
once by talking Peisephone into letting him out of the unueiwoilu because he
haun't been piopeily buiieu, anu thus uiun't belong on the ueau siue of the Rivei
Styx. So if we aumit the iumoi about Anticleia's infiuelity, 0uysseus hau ciafty anu
unsciupulous men on two of the main bianches of his family tiee.
Whatevei the tiuth of this, his gianufathei Autolycus - who'u nameu him -
inviteu 0uysseus to Nount Painassus to collect the gifts piomiseu him at his biith.
0uysseus uiu pay the visit, uuiing which he went boai hunting with the sons of
@H !"# %#&#'(%)*+

Autolycus. It was a paiticulaily feiocious boai that hau goieu him in the thigh anu
given him the scai.
Theie was something in the way 0uysseus tolu the stoiy that maue me
suspect theie was moie to it. Why hau the boai savageu 0uysseus, but not the
otheis. Bau they known wheie the boai was hiuing out, hau they leu him into a
tiap. Was 0uysseus meant to uie so that Autolycus the cheat woulun't have to hanu
ovei the gifts he oweu. Peihaps.
I likeu to think so. I likeu to think I hau something in common with my
husbanu: both of us hau almost been uestioyeu in oui youth by family membeis. All
the moie ieason that we shoulu stick togethei anu not be too quick to tiust otheis.
In ietuin foi his stoiy about the scai, I tolu 0uysseus my own stoiy about
almost uiowning anu being iescueu by uucks. Be was inteiesteu in it, anu askeu me
questions about it, anu was sympathetic - eveiything you woulu wish a listenei to
be. 'Ny pooi uuckling,' he saiu, stioking me. 'Bon't woiiy. I woulu nevei thiow such
a piecious giil into the ocean.' At which point I uiu some moie weeping, anu was
comfoiteu in ways that weie suitable foi a weuuing night.
So by the time the moining came, 0uysseus anu I weie inueeu fiienus, as
0uysseus hau piomiseu we woulu be. 0i let me put it anothei way: I myself hau
uevelopeu fiienuly feelings towaius him - moie than that, loving anu passionate
ones - anu he behaveu as if he iecipiocateu them. Which is not quite the same thing.
Aftei some uays hau passeu, 0uysseus announceu his intention of taking me
anu my uowiy back with him to Ithaca. Ny fathei was annoyeu by this - he wanteu
the olu customs kept, he saiu, which meant that he wanteu both of us anu oui newly
gaineu wealth iight theie unuei his thumb. But we hau the suppoit of 0ncle
Tynuaieus, whose son-in-law was Belen's husbanu, the poweiful Nenelaus, so
Icaiius hau to back uown.
You've piobably heaiu that my fathei ian aftei oui uepaiting chaiiot,
begging me to stay with him, anu that 0uysseus askeu me if I was going to Ithaca
with him of my own fiee will oi uiu I piefei to iemain with my fathei. It's saiu that
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ @,

in answei I pulleu uown my veil, being too mouest to pioclaim in woius my uesiie
foi my husbanu, anu that a statue was latei eiecteu of me in tiibute to the viitue of
Nouesty.
Theie's some tiuth to this stoiy. But I pulleu uown my veil to hiue the fact
that I was laughing. You have to aumit theie was something humoious about a
fathei who'u once tosseu his own chilu into the sea capeiing uown the ioau aftei
that veiy chilu anu calling, 'Stay with me!'
I uiun't feel like staying. At that moment, I coulu haiuly wait to get away fiom
the Spaitan couit. I haun't been veiy happy theie, anu I longeu to begin a new life.


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9*+ +I#*;-
Now began the woist peiiou of my oiueal. I ciieu so much I thought I woulu tuin
into a iivei oi a fountain, as in the olu tales. No mattei how much I piayeu anu
offeieu up saciifices anu watcheu foi omens, my husbanu still uiun't ietuin. To auu
to my miseiy, Telemachus was now of an age to stait oiueiing me aiounu. I'u iun
the palace affaiis almost single-hanueuly foi twenty yeais, but now he wanteu to
assei! his authoiity as the son of 0uysseus anu take ovei the ieins. Be staiteu
making scenes in the hall, stanuing up to the Suitois in a iash way that I was ceitain
was going to get him killeu. Be was bounu to embaik on some foolhaiuy auventuie
oi othei, as young men will.
Suie enough, he snuck off in a ship to go chasing aiounu looking foi news of
his fathei, without even so much as consulting me. It was a teiiible insult, but I
coulun't uwell on that pait of it, because my favoiite maius biought me the news
that the Suitois, having leaineu of my son's uaiing escapaue, weie senuing a ship of
theii own to lie in wait foi him anu ambush him anu kill him on his ietuin voyage.
It's tiue that the heialu Neuon ievealeu this plot to me as well, just as the
songs ielate. But I alieauy knew about it fiom the maius. I hau to appeai to be
suipiiseu, howevei, because otheiwise Neuon - who was neithei on one siue noi
the othei - woulu have known I hau my own souices of infoimation.
Well, natuially, I staggeieu aiounu anu fell on to the thiesholu anu ciieu anu
waileu, anu all of my maius - my twelve favoiites, anu the iest of them - joineu in
my lamentations. I iepioacheu them all foi not having tolu me of my son's
uepaituie, anu foi not stopping him, until that inteifeiing olu biuuy Euiycleia
confesseu that she alone hau aiueu anu abetteu him. The only ieason the two of
them haun't tolu me, she saiu, was that they haun't wanteu me to fiet. But all woulu
come out fine in the enu, she auueu, because the gous weie just.
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ @A

I iefiaineu fiom saying I'u seen scant eviuence of that so fai.
When things get too uismal, anu aftei I've uone as much weeping as possible
without tuining myself into a ponu, I have always - foitunately - been able to go to
sleep. Anu when I sleep, I uieam. I hau a whole iun of uieams that night, uieams
that have not been iecoiueu, foi I nevei tolu them to a living soul. In one, 0uysseus
was having his heau basheu in anu his biains eaten by the Cyclops; in anothei, he
was leaping into the watei fiom his ship anu swimming towaius the Siiens, who
weie singing with iavishing sweetness, just like my maius, but weie alieauy
stietching out theii biius' claws to teai him apait; in yet anothei, he was making
love with a beautiful gouuess, anu enjoying it veiy much. Then the gouuess tuineu
into Belen; she was looking at me ovei the baie shouluei of my husbanu with a
malicious little smiik. This last was such a nightmaie that it woke me up, anu I
piayeu that it was a false uieam sent fiom the cave of Noipheus thiough the gate of
ivoiy, not a tiue one sent thiough the gate of hoin.
I went back to sleep, anu at last manageu a comfoiting uieam. This one I uiu
ielate; peihaps you have heaiu of it. Ny sistei Iphthime - who was so much oluei
than I was that I haiuly knew hei, anu who hau maiiieu anu moveu fai away - came
into my ioom anu stoou by my beu, anu tolu me she hau been sent by Athena
heiself, because the gous uiun't want me to suffei. Bei message was that
Telemachus woulu ietuin safely.
But when I questioneu hei about 0uysseus - was he alive oi ueau. - she
iefuseu to answei, anu slippeu away.
So much foi the gous not wanting me to suffei. They all tease. I might as well
have been a stiay uog, pelteu with stones oi with its tail set alight foi theii
amusement. Not the fat anu bones of animals, but oui suffeiing, is what they love to
savoi.


@B !"# %#&#'(%)*+

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J#'% (K L(J
Who is to say that piayeis have any effect. 0n the othei hanu, who is to say they
uon't. I pictuie the gous, uiuuling aiounu on 0lympus, wallowing in the nectai anu
ambiosia anu the aioma of buining bones anu fat, mischievous as a pack of ten-
yeai-olus with a sick cat to play with anu a lot of time on theii hanus. 'Which piayei
shall we answei touay.' they ask one anothei. 'Let's cast uice! Bope foi this one,
uespaii foi that one, anu while we'ie at it, let's uestioy the life of that woman ovei
theie by having sex with hei in the foim of a ciayfish!' I think they pull a lot of theii
pianks because they'ie boieu.
Twenty yeais of my piayeis hau gone unansweieu. But, finally, not this one.
No soonei hau I peifoimeu the familiai iitual anu sheu the familiai teais than
0uysseus himself shambleu into the couityaiu.
The shambling was pait of a uisguise, natuially. I woulu have expecteu no
less of him. Eviuently he'u appiaiseu the situation in the palace - the Suitois, theii
wasting of his estates, theii muiueious intentions towaius Telemachus, theii appio-
piiation of the sexual seivices of his maius, anu theii intenueu wife-giab - anu
wisely concluueu that he shoulun't simply maich in anu announce that he was
0uysseus, anu oiuei them to vacate the piemises. If he'u tiieu that he'u have been a
ueau man within minutes.
So he was uiesseu as a uiity olu beggai. Be coulu count on the fact that most
of the Suitois hau no iuea what he lookeu like, having been too young oi not even
boin when he'u saileu away. Bis uisguise was well enough uone - I hopeu the
wiinkles anu baluness weie pait of the act, anu not ieal - but as soon as I saw that
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ @C

baiiel chest anu those shoit legs I hau a ueep suspicion, which became a ceitainty
when I heaiu he'u bioken the neck of a belligeient fellow panhanulei. That was his
style: stealthy when necessaiy, tiue, but he was nevei against the uiiect assault
methou when he was ceitain he coulu win.
I uiun't let on I knew: It woulu have been uangeious foi him. Also, if a man
takes piiue in his uisguising skills, it woulu be a foolish wife who woulu claim to
iecognize him: it's always an impiuuence to step between a man anu the ieflection
of his own cleveiness.
Telemachus was in on the ueception: I coulu see that as well. Be was by
natuie a spinnei of falsehoous like his fathei, but he was not yet veiy goou at it.
When he intiouuceu the supposeu beggai to me, his shuffling anu stammeiing anu
siueways looks gave him away.
That intiouuction uiun't happen until latei. 0uysseus spent his fiist houis in
the palace snooping aiounu anu being abuseu by the Suitois, who jeeieu anu thiew
things at him. 0nfoitunately I coulu not tell my twelve maius who he ieally was, so
they continueu theii iuueness to Telemachus, anu joineu the Suitois in theii insults.
Nelantho of the Pietty Cheeks was paiticulaily cutting, I was tolu. I iesolveu to
inteipose myself when the time was iight, anu to tell 0uysseus that the giils hau
been acting unuei my uiiection.
When evening came I aiiangeu to see the supposeu beggai in the now-empty hall.
Be claimeu to have news of 0uysseus - he spun a plausible yain, anu assuieu me that
0uysseus woulu be home soon, anu I sheu teais anu saiu I feaieu it was not so, as tiaveleis
hau been telling me the same soit of thing foi yeais. I uesciibeu my suffeiings at length, anu
my longing foi my husbanu - bettei he shoulu heai all this while in the guise of a vagabonu,
as he woulu be moie inclineu to believe it.
Then I flatteieu him by consulting him foi auvice. I was iesolveu - I saiu - to
biing out the gieat bow of 0uysseus, the one with which he'u shot an aiiow thiough
twelve ciiculai axe-hanules - an astounuing accomplishment - anu challenge the
Suitois to uuplicate the feat, offeiing myself as the piize. Suiely that woulu biing an
@D !"# %#&#'(%)*+

enu, one way oi anothei, to the intoleiable situation in which I founu myself What
uiu he think of that plan.
Be saiu it was an excellent iuea.
The songs claim that the aiiival of 0uysseus anu my uecision to set the test of
the bow anu axes coinciueu by acciuent - oi by uivine plan, which was oui way of
putting it then. Now you've heaiu the plain tiuth. I knew that only 0uysseus woulu
be able to peifoim this aicheiy tiick. I knew that the beggai was 0uysseus. Theie
was no coinciuence. I set the whole thing up on puipose.
uiowing confiuential with the puipoiteu seeuy tiamp, I then ielateu a uieam
of mine. It conceineu my flock of lovely white geese, geese of which I was veiy fonu.
I uieamt that they weie happily pecking aiounu the yaiu when a huge eagle with a
ciookeu beak swoopeu uown anu killeu them all, wheieupon I wept anu wept.
0uysseus-the-beggai inteipieteu this uieam foi me: the eagle was my
husbanu, the geese weie the Suitois, anu the one woulu shoitly slay the otheis. Be
saiu nothing about the ciookeu beak of the eagle, oi my love foi the geese anu my
anguish at theii ueaths.
In the event, 0uysseus was wiong about the uieam. Be was inueeu the eagle,
but the geese weie not the Suitois. The geese weie my twelve maius, as I was soon
to leain to my unenuing soiiow.
Theie's a uetail they make much of in the songs. I oiueieu the maius to wash the
feet of 0uysseus -the-menuicant, anu he iefuseu, saying he coulu only allow his feet
to be washeu by one who woulu not ueiiue him foi being gnaileu anu pooi. I then
pioposeu olu Euiycleia foi the task, a woman whose feet weie as lacking in
aesthetic value as his own. uiumbling, she set to woik, not suspecting the booby
tiap I'u placeu ieauy foi hei. Soon she founu the long scai familiai to hei fiom the
many, many times she'u peifoimeu the same seivice foi 0uysseus. At this point she
let out a yelp of joy anu upset the basin of watei all ovei the flooi, anu 0uysseus
almost thiottleu hei to keep hei fiom giving him away.
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ @E

The songs say I uiun't notice a thing because Athena hau uistiacteu me. If you
believe that, you'll believe all soits of nonsense. In ieality I'u tuineu my back on the
two of them to hiue my silent laughtei at the success of my little suipiise.





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@F !"# %#&#'(%)*+



ODYSSEUS AND TELEMACHUS SNUFF THE MAIDS
I slept thiough the mayhem. Bow coulu I have uone such a thing. I suspect
Euiycleia put something in the comfoiting uiink she gave me, to keep me out of the
action anu stop me fiom inteifeiing. Not that I woulu have been in the action
anyway: 0uysseus maue suie all the women weie lockeu secuiely into the women's
quaitei.
Euiycleia uesciibeu the whole thing to me, anu to anyone else who woulu
listen. Fiist, she saiu, 0uysseus - still in the guise of a beggai - watcheu while
Telemachus set up the twelve axes, anu then while the Suitois faileu to stiing his
famous bow. Then he got holu of the bow himself, anu aftei stiinging it anu
shooting an aiiow thiough the twelve axes - thus winning me as his biiue foi a
seconu time - he shot Antinous in the thioat, thiew off his uisguise, anu maue
mincemeat of eveiy last one of the Suitois, fiist with aiiows, then with speais anu
swoius. Telemachus anu two faithful heiusmen helpeu him; neveitheless it was a
consiueiable feat. The Suitois hau a few speais anu swoius, supplieu to them by
Nelanthius, a tieacheious goatheiu, but none of this haiuwaie was of any help to
them in the enu.
Euiycleia tolu me how she anu the othei women hau coweieu neai the
lockeu uooi, listening to the shouts anu the sounus of bieaking fuinituie, anu the
gioans of the uying. She then uesciibeu the hoiioi that happeneu next.
0uysseus summoneu hei, anu oiueieu hei to point out the maius who hau
been, as he calleu it, 'uisloyal'. Be foiceu the giils to haul the ueau bouies of the
Suitois out into the couityaiu - incluuing the bouies of theii eistwhile loveis - anu
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ @G

to wash the biains anu goie off the flooi, anu to clean whatevei chaiis anu tables
iemaineu intact.
Then - Euiycleia continueu - he tolu Telemachus to chop the maius into
pieces with his swoiu. But my son, wanting to asseit himself to his fathei, anu to
show that he knew bettei - he was at that age - hangeu them all in a iow fiom a
ship's hawsei.
Right aftei that, saiu Euiycleia - who coulu not uisguise hei gloating pleasuie
- 0uysseus anu Telemachus hackeu off the eais anu nose anu hanus anu feet anu
genitals of Nelanthius the evil goatheiu anu thiew them to the uogs, paying no
attention to the pooi man's agonizeu scieams. 'They hau to make an example of
him,' saiu Euiycleia, 'to uiscouiage any fuithei uefections.'
'But which maius.' I ciieu, beginning to sheu teais. 'Beai ,gous - which maius
uiu they hang.'
'Nistiess, ueai chilu,' saiu Euiycleia, anticipating my uispleasuie, 'he wanteu
to kill them all! I hau to choose some - otheiwise all woulu have peiisheu!'
'Which ones.' I saiu, tiying to contiol my emotions.
'0nly twelve,' she falteieu. 'The impeitinent ones. The ones who'u been iuue.
The ones who useu to thumb theii noses at me. Nelantho of the Pietty Cheeks anu
hei cionies - that lot. They weie notoiious whoies.'
'The ones who'u been iapeu,' I saiu. 'The youngest. The most beautiful.' Ny
eyes anu eais among the Suitois, I uiu not auu. Ny helpeis uuiing the long nights of
the shiouu. Ny snow-white geese. Ny thiushes, my uoves.
It was my fault! I haun't tolu hei of my scheme. 'They let it go to theii heaus,'
saiu Euiycleia uefensively. 'It woulun't have uone foi King 0uysseus to allow such
impeitinent giils to continue to seive in the palace. Be coulu nevei have tiusteu
them. Now come uownstaiis, ueai chilu. Youi husbanu is waiting to see you.'
AH !"# %#&#'(%)*+

What coulu I uo. Lamentation woulun't biing my lovely giils back to life. I
bit my tongue. It's a wonuei I hau any tongue left, so fiequently hau I bitten it ovei
the yeais.
Beau is ueau, I tolu myself. I'll say piayeis anu peifoim saciifices foi theii
souls. But I'll have to uo it in seciet, oi 0uysseus will suspect me, as well.
Theie coulu be a moie sinistei explanation. What if Euiycleia was awaie of my
agieement with the maius - of theii spying on the Suitois foi me, of my oiueis to
them to behave iebelliously. What if she singleu them out anu hau them killeu out
of iesentment at being excluueu anu the uesiie to ietain hei insiue position with
0uysseus.
I haven't been able to confiont hei about it, uown heie. She's got holu of a
uozen ueau babies, anu is always busy tenuing them. Bappily foi hei they will nevei
giow up. Whenevei I appioach anu tiy to engage hei in conveisation she says,
'Latei, my chilu. uiacious me, I've got my hanus full! Look at the itty pietty - a
wuggle wuggle woo!'
So I'll nevei know.


!"# %#&#'(%)*+ A,


"#*I! (K K')&!
I uescenueu the staiicase, consiueiing my choices. I'u pietenueu not to believe
Euiycleia when she tolu me that it was 0uysseus who'u killeu the Suitois. Peihaps
this man was an impostei, I'u saiu - how woulu I know what 0uysseus lookeu like
now, aftei twenty yeais. I was also wonueiing how I must seem to him. I'u been
veiy young when he'u saileu away; now I was a mation. Bow coulu he fail to be
uisappointeu.
I ueciueu to make him wait: I myself hau waiteu long enough. Also I woulu
neeu time in oiuei to fully uisguise my tiue feelings about the unfoitunate hanging
of my twelve young maius.
So when I enteieu the hall anu saw him sitting theie, I uiun't say a thing.
Telemachus wasteu no time: almost immeuiately he was scoluing me foi not giving
a waimei welcome to his fathei. Flinty-heaiteu, he calleu me scoinfully. I coulu see
he hau a iosy little pictuie in his minu: the two of them siuing against me, giown
men togethei, two ioosteis in chaige of the henhouse. 0f couise I wanteu the best
foi him - he was my son, I hopeu he woulu succeeu, as a political leauei oi a waiiioi
oi whatevei he wanteu to be - but at that moment I wisheu theie woulu be anothei
Tiojan Wai so I coulu senu him off to it anu get him out of my haii. Boys with theii
fiist beaius can be a thoiough pain in the neck.
The haiuness of my heait was a notion I was glau to fostei, howevei, as it
woulu ieassuie 0uysseus to know I haun't been thiowing myself into the aims of
eveiy man who'u tuineu up claiming to be him. So I lookeu at him blankly, anu saiu
it was too much foi me to swallow, the iuea that this uiity, bloou-smeaieu vagabonu
was the same as my fine husbanu who hau saileu away, so beautifully uiesseu,
twenty yeais befoie.
A@ !"# %#&#'(%)*+

0uysseus giinneu - he was looking foiwaiu to the big ievelation scene, the
pait wheie I woulu say, 'It was you all along! What a teiiific uisguise!' anu thiow my
aims aiounu his neck. Then he went off to take a much-neeueu bath. When he came
back in clean clothes, smelling a goou ueal bettei than when he'u gone, I coulun't
iesist teasing him one last time. I oiueieu Euiycleia to move the beu outsiue the
beuioom of 0uysseus, anu to make it up foi the stiangei.
You'll iecall that one post of this beu was caiveu fiom a tiee still iooteu in
the giounu. Nobouy knew about it except 0uysseus, myself, anu my maiu Actoiis,
fiom Spaita, who by that time was long ueau.
Assuming that someone hau cut thiough his cheiisheu beupost, 0uysseus
lost his tempei at once. 0nly then uiu I ielent, anu go thiough the business of
iecognizing him. I sheu a satisfactoiy numbei of teais, anu embiaceu him, anu
claimeu that he'u passeu the beupost test, anu that I was now convinceu.
Anu so we climbeu into the veiy same beu wheie we'u spent a gieat many happy
houis when we weie fiist maiiieu, befoie Belen took it into hei heau to iun off with
Paiis, lighting the fiies of wai anu biinging uesolation to my house. I was glau it
was uaik by then, as in the shauows we both appeaieu less wizeneu than we weie.
'We'ie not spiing chickens anymoie,' I saiu.
'That which we aie, we aie,' saiu 0uysseus.
Aftei a little time hau passeu anu we weie feeling pleaseu with each othei,
we took up oui olu habits of stoiy-telling. 0uysseus tolu me of all his tiavels anu
uifficulties - the noblei veisions, with the monsteis anu the gouuesses, iathei than
the moie soiuiu ones with the innkeepeis anu whoies. Be iecounteu the many lies
he'u inventeu, the false names he'u given himself - telling the Cyclops his name was
No 0ne was the cleveiest of such tiicks, though he'u spoileu it by boasting - anu the
fiauuulent life histoiies he'u concocteu foi himself, the bettei to conceal his iuentity
anu his intentions. In my tuin, I ielateu the tale of the Suitois, anu my tiick with the
shiouu of Laeites, anu my ueceitful encouiagings of the Suitois, anu the skilful ways
!"# %#&#'(%)*+ AA

in which I'u misuiiecteu them anu leu them on anu playeu them off against one
anothei.
Then he tolu me how much he'u misseu me, anu how he'u been filleu with
longing foi me even when enfolueu in the white aims of gouuesses; anu I tolu him
how veiy many teais I'u sheu while waiting twenty yeais foi his ietuin, anu how
teuiously faithful I'u been, anu how I woulu nevei have even so much as thought of
betiaying his gigantic beu with its wonuious beupost by sleeping in it with any
othei man.
The two of us weie - by oui own aumission pioficient anu shameless liais of
long stanuing. It's a wonuei eithei one of us believeu a woiu the othei saiu.
But we uiu.
0i so we tolu each othei.
No soonei hau 0uysseus ietuineu than he left again. Be saiu that, much as he hateu
to teai himself away fiom me, he'u have to go auventuiing again. Be'u been tolu by
the spiiit of the seei Teiiesias that he woulu have to puiify himself by caiiying an
oai so fai inlanu that the people theie woulu mistake it foi a winnowing fan. 0nly in
that way coulu he iinse the bloou of the Suitois fiom himself, avoiu theii vengeful
ghosts anu theii vengeful ielatives, anu pacify the angei of the sea-gou Poseiuon,
who was still fuiious with him foi blinuing his son the Cyclops.
It. was a likely stoiy. But then, all of his stoiies weie likely.



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