tere aapwouse uamnisex uasoat \ AMecion The ram inti garden willbe a rena ayone | Tac eect CS Spiny tage dees | dr teen Go ober Siete Topi tetay | Ce ee eel mre mck key sey | Ses Wit | Dees stent couple relagissQae dference arly and DANGER SIGNS IN MARRIAGE, Morr Catholic manages ate happy mariage, They have {heir srewes and stormy thelr tab and eres) but when & {Gathote man and woman seek God’ eanedying pace and fel hee own sli pleasre, thereat salvtion Sha joy, The tly Catolic husband can take his yi had Sih ing oc fy yeas and any fo her, “Ours hae boon 8 io ie together ‘Notall mariages ar ved ost so happily, Somewhere along thelin slices bonnes or epi entr the picture fd a anion which might have ied to mutual sencicaion incomes a wore of biter unhappines, shane and remorse ‘The fac thats mariage performed inthe Church sa before Goi’ pris is no automate satrnnce that wil succeed, No fem than members of oder faiths, Cade eouples need a develop many virtues to achieve a harmonios We togetber Sint avd ils that ext everywhere. ven though they annot end in divores, Cashoie mariage can fle They ea feach a wate where the husband deserts is fe and ehldren, Tiere hsband and wie no longer ive under the same oo, ‘here husband and wife may emai together but a state of Dermanent animodey. Even though Rope for rconition etal no on could deny tat nck martes rein Gesprst "Marriage counsellor, divorce cour judges, social workers, and other experts unanimonsly agree that coupes donot reach fuch toubled stages overnight. Long before a husband desers his wife o liver with her under circumstances in which calm ‘omminicaton with each other is imposible, there have been ‘any early danger sgus predicting that this wouble wouldcomea or just as early symptoms forecast the coming of physical > #0 oo do simple sigts often indicate when marrage tay be headed for erouble. ‘Many serious marsiage problems start om simple difer Iles to meet them with understanding and mutual conkider- _ lo,‘ sympioms may etn to grow and become &90 THE CATHOLIC MARRIAGE MANUAL deadly disease. Some of the danger signs will be discussed below. Tir eviewing ths ist, you night pf rom the experince of the middle-aged woman who appeared beloe a mariage cone Selor with ess reaming down ber face She pleaded with im fo tl her what she now could do to win back the husband she Ind divorced a year bore. She had wanted to be a social Tear in her ton, She permite her ambitions to gow ane Checked even thou her husband didnot eare fora soa is ‘bu prefered to spend his evenings quiety reading at ome Looking back ovet her pat Hi she elie hat all he mar- Hage toubles started when ake permitted elf t0 join a ‘ge club of wealthy women, fm that pont on, she made Le with hee husband sig ell demanding that tle her fut alot evry evening. “If only T new in time where Ci focal eimbsing would lead to," she sid,“ never would have tagged my husband the way I id. Lwould have worked hard {O save my tnamage!” Bot it was to late. She thould have Sctel when the probiem was a small one and probably coal fhe been acted in a fendly way theough a Calm discusion with er Tn addon to money problems, in-law problems and the tendency to drink o exc, which il be dzcamed in etal in the filing chapton, sources of cto which shodld be ‘iminated now, lest they grow to endanger your union, inchade: Tally to og on "de hinge” One hota aie pre= pate for an sven out togetier. Deore they leave, however There fsa sharp interchange over how she shou dre, Then they bicker ove the estar where they wil eat. Inthe ea, {hee ay etit ber ben deving ai chk ‘fs parking spot, Throaghost thee dione, they argue about ‘thick movi to see. What les hind thei nail oreach Endy coelne abou it ig? General 1g {hatsonething deeper and more bases goawing atone or both, Forinstance such contnual warfare often oer when harbad tnd wile ar struggling to dominate che mariage, OFeouse, no Souple gocs through &lfetme without many minor agree font, But inthe normal marrage the sesso confit decrease {wth time inead of neensing, When s husband and wie nd Themselves quareling more cen thea they have inthe pasty {Ry shail op and thnk of base car whch may “Fai nag mere fen, Of all the complaints which husbands DANGER s1ONs IN MARRIAGE o snake, the one that thei wives “nag them to death probably Ihost common. When a husband Suaker auch a statement he Probably docs not sealise tat he may be seveling& funda. ental ict about hinge ft that he fast gies wit the understanding and prion that she need, Frycholo. fs my tht nagging odetes hata ie sre of heel End ote usb ove. She wants o teachout and ld hi. ‘The extet way that occurs to her todo thin to al i ten tion to or a often os posible “Fudge Paul W. Alexie ofthe Domestic Relations Court of ‘Tae, Ohi, tel the story of a busincsman. who hired a teaut and ialented secretary. One day the wtp avis fo the ofc, tok a look atthe secretary and begun to worry. Soon theresher te businessman had otavel to New York © fovea big contract, and he took his secretary to help him ‘Unable to cone! rel the wae began to may to ty to ne Pre own ronson ena The ing cnn {inal the secretary cloped with an army captains The bine tan hired anew secrtary a mialeaged woman who offered Be cpm Wie te ng of enti secaniy retumel she topped her badgering Fen cons of tagging Begin 80 ply of endo, abruptly. Mecoer nage tro dee, Every wi ings tecesary st tinct rend her husband ofthe wreen door that news mending or the window pane tat must be replaced ‘at nngging dos become vrilooe woven the red hnaband cane tot read is newspaper in the evening without constant iter Fipton, Once magi becomes a problem in marrage, the {biel soba say fetrest into himacfor into ba The BEG cane of the magng—the wi eating that he nese Icy be need an he problem groma “One or oh pros mpl thir vligur doer, evarch by sodal sents unanimomly coi the fae chat eligi ouples have a greater chance to achieve bappines than tose Srthout a tue Bele in God. Ae Pal HL. Lands of the Sate Solloge of Washington declare in bis book Making the Mod of ‘Mariage an eblsied fat that chose without religous Aflac are agrester mariage rk than howe wih aeknow ieage rion’? die a cosinor: Not only reli ening rifent, but alo whether or aot 4 couple semaine actively fcociaced with some church organization i specially ime portant Even as early the engagement period, charch atten2 ‘rp carmonse waRRiace MANUAL dance has been found to be a factor in the ccs fre of the relationship. One study found thas more than hall of the ‘engagements i which the girls attended chuneh more regal than the boys were finaly broken, Tis was algo tre of ene agenont im which neither had religious afliion, Foyer Engagements were broken among thse couples who seended ‘herch once a month or more. “This astcation witha church, which contributes to ueeee in engagement, is even more sighiicant in marriage. Higher mail happnes scores were reuatred by couples wh, afer args, ed aang carch regal ha brn sivocated’ withthe reumrancer under ‘whieh couple marris.” He concludes that “all the evidence adds up tthe {het tha a eligions background in nat fn mating, orto state i negatively, dat thove without religion ate les likely fo achieve sues in courhip and tacrage?™ rojuent reception of the sacrament srtaaly oblige husbatd and wile to consider their obligations t0'mae thet marrage succes: The pernon concomptating bis own sins in Preparation fr the sacrament of penance lew inclined to be Eniteal of his mate, When husband, wife cr both, grow lax fa the pate frelon, therefor, hey le the adage fhe Unifing grace whieh he racraments ean provide ‘Hohn od ft gar fo ig ot, The gots naturally are more'prevalent in sined marriages Sometimes ‘eligiou ferences do not pose a serious problem until children {re born and the question of educating them in the Catholic ilar Then Calpe ay Boum © have chi wught principles which he cannot acept Hema t inuence th child sway from Cathie. Confit resale Sometimes the non-belleving parent carries on a rear-guatd action wherever and whenewet pombe he dre sy digs and Sarcanic aide again the Faith, The reo ran underlying {ension which maybe reflected ia, cofice over other mater Serious dsagrecrnents over religious mater sometines cect «ven it marziages between tvo ostensible Catholic, Ovens Shaan wlan to ttn rom ment on Fy wil discourage his childs enrolment ina pavockal chook Sometimes sifrencea develop over a mate's desire to practe AarUlidal birth control in violation of divine teachings, ‘Whether these religious differences are between Catholot and non-Catholics oF practising Catholics ‘and fallen-away DANOBR SIONS IN MARRIAGE 98 Catholics, the fact remains that ules dete can be reaved ‘onmchow, the very fabri of the mariage threatened. “sand ond afin Ware ail th oechoterPeychlo- jt term this condition a “breakdown in communistons™ Te {Pn indisdon that at east one ofthe partner na longer has ‘he ame interest that frmeny exited it the others problems, Teslings and opinions, There no longer afl see Af onenet inthe mariage is probibly imposible for one human being to know another Completely aloft have nner fear and hope wich tee do not reveal another soul, We may be naturally reGcent Shout phyical problems, sex relaGonabip, or money matter, ‘This secence eto be expected in any marsiage. When Increase rather than decline, however, i indieate that the tense of companionship necessary in «happy partnenbip i not telng achieve. “A‘ircakdown i communications may seul when the hus bond slay too byt heat his wile tl ofthe probleme se ‘ees withthe crn ll day; when she refuses ote ts ‘port of his ifiaties tthe afc o, worse, null takes hit ployer’ side fa the argument; wen they cannot dace lcs witout violet diagreetent Somnelines a save ‘if tiesto discus den fete sbowt her health; her Boson ‘aluls her symptoms and reluc to extend the sympathy she fo obvouly seks Sometimes ashy husband ventures to expres Bs deep feelings of fection snd his busy wit Inghgly rebut him "The inability to tlk Sosy with exch other develops slowly sadn two sag In ne ety shan borate poate ‘tached to the hobby of photography a wholesome hobby, ‘within reason, However, he ould not go near a photo spp hop without buying something, He tuod hs basement aX folly oqelpped datieoom, aa he constantly taded in his camera chlagers and ‘slide projectors for newer, more Sxpeive model he wat city Seman with» modes salary, his wile hoc hat he wae spending too much money hs bobby ‘roney that could be putt beter use aroun the hotwe, She {ed the fist sep-—eling him fk that she thought he Should spend lea on hel, He anwered angrily chat how he ‘ent the money he eamed was no concer of her. ‘Obviously the diference of opinion remained, 30 che frst stage in the breakdown in communication resulted" couple