Think carefully about how you present your arguments:

How strongly you state the claim -- simple, general statements are really strong assertions. Academic claims are worded tentatively. For example, one key challenge to implementing CBI is developing an appropriate balance between content and language and then integrating them well, not just an (absolutely equal) balance. How you order information that supports the claim and how you present it explain the ideas and explain how they support your claim. Remember a series of quotes doesnt build an argument. When you use a reference as support for a statement, be sure that youve read and interpreted it carefully. One technique I use is to imagine theres someone challenging everything I say, who really disagrees with me.

Use academic terminology accurately, e.g. pre-test, post-test you didnt have post tests, just questionnaires. Incorporate the articles that Terry and I have given you. Use proquest rather than google searches. Pay attention to reporting the data/theory/other research vs making assertions as facts. Students responses are not facts, theyre students perspectives in your study. Points of view and research findings in the literature are just that, not universal facts or truths. Your wording needs to make those things clear. Go back over the vocabulary use that weve reminded you about, and be conscientious about accuracy, e.g., an approach, overuse of expressions such as it can be concluded that or therefore Spend some time going over the comments weve made on your work, and think about how youll address them as you go. Remember, this is a chance to get organised and refocused on your writing, without a lot of stress. I hope this is some help. Remember, I'm around, and although I can't read your work for a while, we can have coffee and a chat if you just want to touch base. Best wishes to you and your family, Judy