Celestino 1 Ulises Celestino Stephan Topf ENGL114B 24 January 2014 Progression 1 Exercise 1 The essay that I consider my best

essay from last semester is Is Illegal Immigration a Problem or a Benefit to the U.S.A? This essay was one of my final essays, by the time I wrote it I had a greater understanding of the MLA writing format than when I began. To improve my essay I could have done a number of things. For one, I could have let a peer or tutor revise it. I tend to be very reserved about my work. This means I only share my work with the professor. In the beginning of last semester I was unfamiliar with the MLA writing style. I learned the MLA format last semester and practiced it throughout the course. At this point I have a better understanding of it but I am yet to master it. I learned a couple of study strategies as well, those strategies helped me when outlining and preparing to write my essays. In this essay I properly applied the MLA writing style. I made sure to include the correct formats to make it as professional as possible. I used a number of excerpts and quotes in order to support my points. I enjoy using statistics in order to give my statements credibility. In order to properly and correctly execute these pieces of evidence I cited them. Citing is a key component to the MLA writing style, so every quote I placed in quotation marks and put into parenthesis. I try to place each important point I generate into each paragraph. I am not comfortable with taking too many notes. Too many points tend to distract me and sidetrack me from my most important aspects. I am used to writing off the top of my head which means I write what I am

Celestino 2 thinking, or as if I am conversing with a person. After I complete my writing I revise it and change the parts that do not makes sense. In order to improve this essay I could have asked for a second persons opinion. A secondary opinion could have helped me catch any mistakes I could have made. I also could have asked a professional such as a professor or a tutor about my essay, they could have caught any misused exclamation points or a mistakes regarding my format. I could have also supported my evidence better with more in depth explanation, in order for the reader to be clear about the side I was taking. I tend to give very simple explanations and let the quotes and/or statistics do the rest. If I was able to give more personal explanation or analysis it would make me a better writer. In a couple of moments in the essay I also sidetracked. In the essay there are some parts where I do not complete a though or an explanation. This is one piece of feedback I have received from a second source. The process of MLA, including work citation and format structure, helped me become a better writer. I was able to reach a conclusion without being so direct. I learned to keep a persuasive essay formal. I was able to support my side ambiguously and in a less demanding manner. My professor taught us how not to write informally. He explained to us the ways to keep a persuasive essay professional. In order to keep it professional one must be able to avoid bias. In this essay I demonstrated a very low level of bias. In order to further avoid this I could have removed parts that included personal opinions. I could have also removed parts that demonstrated things that would make the reader feel pity towards my side of the argument. Instead of giving more evidence supporting my side I could have supported the opposing side as equally; this would make my work better. I also have a problem when it comes to using proper quotation.

Celestino 3 Overall the essay was moderately well written, I know there is always room for improvement. I feel that this essay was my best essay not only because it was written in a time where I felt most comfortable about my work, but also because it was based on a topic that I took much interest in. The topic could have been addressed in a more direct manner, but the way I executed it made me feel most comfortable and knowledgeable.