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Your Wedding Planner
From This Day Forwards
Comprehensive and Easy Step-By-Step
Wedding Planner For Todays Busy Bride
Copyright 2005 From This Day Forward
Garland, TX

All rights reserved. No Part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner
whatsoever without the written permission of the Publisher.

For The Wedding Of

______________________________________________________________

And

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________
(Date)

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________
(Address)

Wedding Planner
By FromThis Day Forward
Contents
Step 1 Begin Your Journey

The Preliminaries
Getting Organized 1
Envision your Day 2
Setting your Date 2
Setting the Time for the Ceremony and Reception 3
Preliminary Guest List 3
Brides Checklist 4
Grooms Checklist 6
Style and Formality Worksheet 8
Determining your likes and dislikes 11

Style
Determining your style and formality 13
Different ways to wed 13
Sample styles and formalities 16
Creative Themes 17

Budget
Creating a Realistic Budget 21
Traditional Expenses 24
Total Costs to be paid by 25
Breakdown of Expenses 26
Sample Wedding Costs 1 29
Sample Wedding Costs 2 30
Estimated Costs 31
Expense Record 33
Setting the Final Budget 34

Beware of the Contracts
Contracts or Letters of Agreement 35
Items Contracts Should Contain 35
Dos and Donts of Contracts 36
Wedding Insurance 36

Step 2 Plan your path

Selecting a Ceremony Site
Choosing a Site 37
Sources to Find Locations 37
Location Ideas 38
Ceremony Site Comparisons 40

Contents
Selecting the Reception Site

Choosing a Reception Site 41
Types of Facilities 41
Interviewing for Site 42
Reception Site Comparison 43
Equipment Checklist 44

Selecting your Officiant
Religious Ceremony 45
Meeting with Clergy or Officiant 45
Clergy or Officiant Fees 45
Religious Ceremony Fees 45
Etiquette Tips 46
Civic Ceremony 46
Meeting with Civic Officiant 46
Civic Fees 46
Civic Ceremony Fees 46
Questions to ask Officiant 47

Deciding on your Color Scheme and Wedding Party
Color Scheme 49
Maid (Matron of Honor) 49
Bridesmaids 50
Best Man 51
Ushers 51
Flowergirl 52
Ringbear/Trainbearer 52
Mother of the Bride 53
Father of the Bride 53
Grooms Parents 53
Other Participants 54
Divorced Parents 54
Children of Previous Marriages 55

Planning the Ceremony

Planning your ceremony 57
Religious Ceremonies 57
Civic Ceremonies 59
Additional Ceremonies 59
Personalizing your Ceremony 59
Decorating Ideas 61
Ceremony Worksheet 62

Contents

Planning the Reception

Types of Receptions 63
Selecting your Menu 64
Selecting your Beverages 65
Planning for Seating 65
Planning Reception Timeframe 66
Receiving and Displaying Gifts 67
Sending Thank You Notes 68
Planning Activities 69
Money Saving Ideas 72
Ideas 73
Menu Planning 75
Reception Information Sheet 76
Table Seating Chart 77
Reception Seating Charts 78

Step 3 Get the Message Out

The Invitations
Guest List 81
Who to Send the Invitations To 81
Ordering your Invitations 81
Proofreading your Invitations 82
Wording your Invitations 83
Addressing and Mailing Invitations 83
Other Types of Stationery 85
Ideas 90
Stationery Comparisons 91
Wedding Guest List 92
Stationery Wording Worksheet 95
Examples of Invitation Wordings 96
Announcement List 100
Weekend Wedding Itinerary 101

Step 4 What to Wear

Bridal Attire
List of Places to Find your Gown 103
Shopping for your Gown 104
Color and Fabrics 104
Gown Sizes 105
Gown Costs 105
Contract 105
Ordering your gown 105

Contents
Alterations and Fittings 106
Shopping for your Accessories 106
Selecting the Right Headpiece 108
Hairstyles and Makeup 108
Additional Accessories 108
Preserving your Gown 109
Bridal Fashion Terms 111
Choosing the Style that Fits Right 115
Bridal Attire Comparisons 116
Bridal Shopping Record 117
Bridal Attire Record 118
Bridal Gown Designers and Manufacturers 119

Wedding Party Attire
Bridesmaids 121
Maid (Matron of Honor) 121
Mothers 121
Fathers 122
Mens Wear 122
Ringbearer/Trainbearer 122
Bridal Gown Designers and Manufacturers 124
Bridal Attendants Attire Estimates 125
Bridal Attendants Sizes and Measurements 126
Grooms Attendants Attire Estimates 127
Grooms Attendants Sizes and Measurements 128
Bridal Attendants Information Sheet 129
Grooms Attendants Information Sheet 130

Grooms Attire
Shopping for your Attire 131
Classic Looks for your Body 131
Styles for the Grooms Attire 133

Step 5 Selecting the Helpers

Florist
Selecting your Florist 135
Choosing your Flowers 135
List of Floral Arrangements 136
Flowers for the Wedding Party 136
Flowers for the Ceremony 140
Flowers for the Reception 140
Items in the Florists Contract 142
Preserving your Bouquet 142

Contents
Money Saving Tips 143
Questions to Ask the Florist 144
Flower Suggestions 145
Flower Estimates 146
Flower Checklist 147

Caterer
Selecting the Caterer 149
Caterer Fees 150
Caterer Contract 150
Caterer Comparisons 151
Questions to Ask the Caterer 152

Photographer
Selecting your Photographer 155
Photographers Contract 156
Taking the Pictures 156
Portrait Sessions 157
New Trends in Photography 157
Photography Dos and Donts 157
Ideas 158
Photographer Comparisons 159
Questions to Ask the Photographer 160
Photographer Information Sheet 161
Checklist for Photographer 162

Baker
Three Suppliers to Source your Cakes From 163
Locating a Baker 163
Interviewing Bakers 163
Flavors and Fillings 164
Shapes 165
Decorations 165
Displaying your Cake 165
Cake Prices 165
Ordering your Cake 165
Saving the Top Layer 165
Grooms Cake 165
Baker Comparisons 167
Questions to Ask the Baker 168

Contents

Musicians

Ceremony Music 169
Reception Music 169
Locating Musicians 169
Recorded Music 170
Items in a Bands Contract 170
Items in a DJ s Contract 170
Avoiding Rip-offs 171
Money Saving Tips 171
Ideas 171
Music Estimates 172
Questions to Ask the Band or DJ 173
Music for Ceremony 174
Music for Reception 175
Ceremony Music Information Sheet 178
Reception Music Information Sheet 179

Videographer
Sources to Finding a Good Videographer 181
Video Types 182
Videographer Fees 183
Things to include in a Video 183
Ideas 183
Videographer Comparisons 183
Questions to Ask a Videographer 185
Videographer Information 186
187
Transportation
Interviewing Limousine Companies 189
Limousine Contracts 190
Town Car 190
Van 190
Ideas For Transportation 190
Decorating Ideas 191
Transportation Comparisons 192
Questions to Ask for Limousines 193
Wedding Day Transportation 194

Step 6 Bearing Gifts

Setting up your gift registries
Gift Registries 195
Registries 195
Gift Registry Checklist 197

Contents
Gift Giving Ideas
Ideas for the Bride 201
Ideas for the Groom 201
Ideas for the Maid (Matron of Honor) and Bridesmaids 202
Ideas for the Best Man and Ushers 202
Ideas for the Flowergirl 203
Ideas for the Ringbearer/Trainerbearer 203
Ideas for Parent Gifts 222

Step 7 The Necessary Stuff

Legalities
Marriage License 205
Changing your Name and Address 205
Changing your Name 205
Obtaining your Marriage License 207
Marriage License Checklist 208
State of Texas Marriage License 209
Bride and Groom Name/Address Change Worksheet 210

Selecting your Wedding Bands
Selecting your Wedding Bands 211

The Honeymoon
Planning your honeymoon 213
Your First Night Together 213
Helpful Hints 214
The Honeymoon Itinerary 215

Step 8 Lets Celebrate

Bridesmaid Luncheon
Hosting a Bridesmaid Luncheon 217

The Rehearsal
Planning the Rehearsal 219
Planning your Rehearsal Dinner 221
Rehearsal Party Guest List 222

Contents

Step 9 You have arrived

Almost There
Almost There 223
Final Checklist 225

End of your Journey
End of your J ourney 227

Appendix

Second Marriages

The Ceremony i
Invitations and Announcements i
Wedding Dress i
Reception i
Including Children ii

Beginning Your Journey

Congratulations! You are about to journey to an event that you probably have dreamed about all your
life. You have met your Prince Charming and he is about to whisk you away to your fairy-tale castle to
live happily-ever-after. This will be one of the most special and wonderful time periods in your life. The
memories that you create in planning your once-in-a-life time affair will be moments to treasure for a
lifetime. Undoubtedly you will want your affair to be perfect and you will want to make sure you are doing
all the right things but where do you begin? How do you journey from I will to I do?

Extraordinary weddings are well thought out and planned. Planning a wedding can be a complex task. It
takes an enormous amount of time, money, and energy especially when you compare it with the few hours
the event takes place. However, by using this planner you can make the process manageable and easier.
The planner covers all aspects of planning a wedding, etiquette tips, ideas, and money saving tips. It also
contains checklists, spreadsheets, and worksheets to help you make your decisions and help you feel
confident that no detail will be overlooked. It addition, it contains tips on how to select your vendors, the
basic questions you should ask them, and what should be contained in their contracts. The most important
thing you can do is relax and enjoy this time period with your groom, family, and friends. You are on your
way to creating a memorable event that you will treasure for a lifetime.

Getting Organized:

The first step to your blessed event is to get organized. Keeping all of your planning details organized and
together will make your planning process easier and provide easy access to your information.

Use this binder to hold not only your planning details but to collect and store vendor business
cards, store your vendor contracts, your receipts, photographs, and swatches of fabric. Take this
organizer with you on all of your appointments.

Purchase an accordion file to store packets of vendor information, important papers or other items
from your binder.

Utilize a computer (if you have one) and wedding planning software to keep track of your budget,
to compile and manage your guest list and RSVPs, and prepare thank you notes (if you dont
have access to a computer, this organizer contains the necessary hard copy forms to generate and
track this information).

Review the Bride and Groom Checklists found at the end of this section to ensure you will have
enough time to plan. Also, you can use the checklists to organize, record and track items you both
will need to complete to ensure your day goes smoothly and is everything youve dreamed of.
Keep in mind, these are just guidelines and should be adapted to your particular needs.

Use a calendar to start adding any appointments and highlighting these on your calendar.

Cut or mark pictures of things you like and dislike from bridal publications or other magazines.
Categorized the pictures by grouping gowns together, cakes together, etc. Use these to help create
your day as well as to present your ideas to vendors and your Wedding Consultant.

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Use your worksheets, checklists, and forms to mark off completed items and keep track of all of
your activities. This will also help you stay organized and to ensure everyone stays informed.

Set aside time to attend to your wedding planning and details.

If you begin to get stressed or overwhelmed, put aside your planning, take a breather and relax.
Then review the progress you have made and what you have accomplished. Use this exercise to
rejuvenate yourself.

Hire a Wedding Consultant to assist you in keeping track of all of your details and to help
eliminate stress. This is especially important if you have less than 6 months to plan as a Wedding
Consultant can help keep the pressure off of you and allow you to enjoy this special time period in
your life.

If hiring a consultant is not a possibility, delegate duties to trustworthy friends and family
members who have expressed an interest in helping out.

Delegate duties to your fianc so that he will feel a part of the planning and festivities.

Envision your day:

Next, use your imagination and dream for a minute about what would make your special day memorable,
exciting, and romantic. Ask your groom to do the same. If you need some assistance writing down your
thoughts, use worksheets Determining your Style and Formality as well as Determining your likes and
dislikes at the end of this section. Your answers will aid you in determining your formality, style or
theme. This exercise will also help you to convey your ideas and paint a picture to your vendors and
Wedding Consultant. Once you have some insight into what is really important to you as a couple, you can
begin to focus your resources, efforts, and finances on these areas.

Setting your date:

The date that you choose will depend on:

The time of year you want to be married (Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter)
The size and formality of your wedding
The availability of the ceremony and reception sites (if you have your hearts set on certain ceremony
or reception site, you may want to check to see if they are available before you set your official date).
You and your grooms school or work schedules
Whether you will have adequate planning time (review the Bride and Groom Checklists at the end of
this section).

Its best to have at least 1 year for planning since popular sites and vendors are booked months in
advance. Although you can still plan a beautiful wedding in less than a year, keep in mind you will need
to order your wedding gown at least 4 to 6 months in advance unless you are planning to purchase one off
of the racks, borrow or make one. Even if you are planning a small informal affair, you will need at least
2 to 3 months for planning.

2

Once you have several dates in mind, pull out a calendar and review it with your groom to ensure that
there are no schedule conflicts. You may also want to consult important family members to avoid any
conflicts in their schedules as well. Dont be worried or surprised if your first date for you wedding day
changes as you do your planning. The ceremony or reception site as well as the officiant you choose may
not be available on the date you prefer.

Setting the time for your ceremony and reception:

Determine the time of day your wedding will take place and set the time. The time you and your groom
select will be determined by your own personal choice, your religious desires, or the type of reception your
budget allows. If you are planning to have a Catholic ceremony, the preferred times are:

Nuptial High Mass at Noon
Low Mass at 10:00 am
Afternoon ceremony (simple ceremony without Mass)

If you are planning to have a Protestant ceremony, the favorable hours are:

Early evening 4 4:30 pm
Early-afternoon 12 12:30 pm (if you are serving lunch)
Mid-afternoon 2 3:30 pm (normally followed by a tea reception)
Evening- 6 8 pm

Whatever time you select, the formality in the ceremony should be carried over to the reception.

Making a preliminary guest list:

In arriving at the number of guests, keep in mind the style or formality of the wedding, your budget (do
you want to invite fewer guests to an elaborate set-down dinner with an open bar or be able to invite
more people and have a less elaborate reception?), and space (will the ceremony and reception site be
able to accommodate all of your guests?).

There are various ways to determine how many guests to invite. Usually the brides family and the
grooms family each invite half of the guests. If one family is away from their hometown, one
family may have fewer guests to invite. Another alternative it to split the list into thirds (if the
bride and groom are from the same hometown) with the couple providing a third, then the brides
family gets a third and the grooms family gets a third. As a general rule, 20% to 25% of invited guest
will be unable to attend. If you were unable to invite the guests you would have liked due to the space or
your budget, you can sent out more invitations when you begin receiving regrets.

Once you have decided upon your guest list, begin to compile the names, addresses of your guests.

3
Brides Checklist
Six to Twelve Months Before
Select a wedding date and time.
Make a preliminary budget for wedding and reception.
Determine your wedding theme or style.
Reserve your ceremony and reception location.
Determine who will officiate at the ceremony.
Hire a wedding consultant, if you plan to use one.
Decide on your color scheme.
Determine the size of the guest list.
Begin compiling names and addresses of guests.
Select bridal attendants and ask them to be in your wedding.
Fianc select his attendants and ask them to be in the wedding.
Plan Reception.
Interview and select a caterer, if one is necessary.
Interview and select a baker, if one is necessary.
Interview and select a photographer and videographer.
Interview and select a florist.
Select your dress and headpiece. Order your attire.
Announce your engagement in the newspaper.
Select bridesmaid dresses.
Determine transportation and make arrangements.

Four Months Before
Make final arrangements for ceremony(deposits should be paid, contracts signed).
Make sure all bridal attire is ordered.
Have both mothers coordinate and select their dresses.
Register at a bridal registry in the cities of both families.
Order invitations and personal stationary.
Complete the guest lists.
Select the mens wedding attire and reserve the right sizes.
Check requirements for marriage licenses.
Shop for wedding bands.
Start planning the honeymoon.
Begin shopping for trousseau.
Decide where you will live after the wedding.

Two Months Before
Address invitations and mail these(weigh for proper postage).
Finalize all details with caterer, photographer, videographer, florist, baker, etc.
Order wedding cake, if not supplied by caterer.
Finalize ceremony details with officiant .
Arrange a time and place for bridesmaid luncheon, if necessary.
Make rehearsal arrangements.
Plan rehearsal dinner.
Make appointments with hairdresser, makeup artists, manicurist, etc.
Make accommodations for out-of-town attendants or guests.
Finalize honeymoon plans.

4
Brides Checklist
One Month Before
Have a final fitting for your bridal gown and bridesmaids gowns.
Have a formal bridal portrait done.
Get marriage licenses.
Purchase gifts for attendants.
Purchase a gift for fiance`, if gifts are being exchanged.
Have the bridesmaid luncheon, if you planned to have one.
Purchase going away outfit, if needed.
Keep a careful record of all gifts received and start writing thank-you notes.
Make sure you have all accessories, toasting goblets, ring pillow, garter, etc.
Select a person to handle guest book and determine its location.

Two Weeks Before
Attend to business and legal details
Prepare wedding announcement to be sent to newpaper.
Reconfirm accommodations for out-of-town guests.
Arrange to have possessions and gifts moved to your new home. Give a change-of-
address card to the post office.
Finish addressing announcements to be mailed on the wedding day.

One Week Before
Give final count of guests to caterer(72 hours before wedding) and review details.
Reconfirm details with vendors and go over any changes.
Give all musicians the lists of music for the ceremony and reception.
Plan seating arrangements for ceremony and reception.
Arrange for someone to assist with last minute errands and to help you dress.
Practice having your hair and makeup and determine the time it will take, if these are
not being professionally done.
Pack suitcase for the honeymoon.
Double check if you have the marriage licenses and wedding bands.
Make sure all wedding attire is picked up and it fits(ensure men have all pieces).
Have a rehearsal with all participants, reviewing their duties.
Attend rehearsal dinner.

On The Wedding Day
To feel relaxed and calm, be sure to eat something and take a relaxing bath.
Go to hair appointment or fix hair at least 3 to 4 hours before the ceremony.
Go to makeup and/or manicure appointments or allow plenty of time if you are doing
these yourself..
Start dressing. You and attendants need to be ready at least 2 hours before the
ceremony.

After the Wedding
Send and wedding picture to the newspaper.
Mail or email announcements.
Write and mail thank-you notes

5
Grooms Checklist
Six to Twelve Months Before
Purchase the brides engagement ring.
Discuss with the date and type of wedding with the bride.
Start on your guest list.
Choose best man and ushers.
Discuss and plan your new home with your bride so you can start making the
necessary moving arrangements.
Coordinate wedding day transportation with the bride.

Four Months Before
Shop with bride for wedding rings.
Complete your guest list, including full names, addresses, zip codes, and phone
numbers.
Check requirements for marriage license in the state you will be married in.
Select and order mens wedding attire with the bride.
Finalize all honeymoon plans and send in deposits if required.

Two Months Before
Meet with officiant to finalize ceremony details.
Assist parents with plan for the rehearsal dinner party.
Discuss the amount and financial arrangement for the flowers, which are the grooms
responsibility.
Arrange accommodations for out-of-town attendants.

One Month Before
Ensure all attendants have been fitted and wedding attire has been ordered.
Purchase gifts for best man and ushers.
Purchase wedding gift for bride, if gifts are being exchanged.
Pick up wedding rings and make sure they fit.
Take care of business and legal affairs.

Two Weeks Before
Gather necessary documents and get marriage license with bride.
Reconfirm accommodations for out-of-town guests.
If moving, give change-of-address to post office, arrange to have utilities and phone
service turned on in the new home. If not moving, finish cleaning and reorganizing
your home, help bride move her things.
Have your hair cut.

One Week Before
Discuss all final details with bride; offer to assist if needed.
Pick up and try on wedding attire.
Ensure that attendants get their wedding attire and that they have all of the pieces.
Pack clothes for honeymoon.
Reconfirm all honeymoon reservations.
If flying, make sure you have plane tickets.
See that you and your attendants are at the rehearsal and that they know their duties.

6
Grooms Checklist
Go over special seating or pew cards with ushers.
Arrange for gifts brought to the reception to be taken to your home.
Make sure luggage is in the car or hotel where you will stay your first night.
Attend rehearsal dinner.

On The Wedding Day
To feel relaxed and calm, be sure to eat something and allow plenty of time to get
ready.
Go to ceremony location on time.
Give the best man the brides wedding ring.
Place the officiants fee in a sealed envelope. Give it to the best man so he may
present it after the ceremony. Dont forget to take the marriage license to the
ceremony, or make sure the best man will bring it.
Have the maid of honor and best man sign the wedding certificate as witnesses.
Dance first with your bride, then with both mothers and bridesmaids.
J ust before leaving the reception, thank the brides parents and say good bye to your
parents.

After the Wedding
Make sure on the first day of the honeymoon to send flowers or express your
appreciation and thanking the brides parents again for a beautiful wedding and
reception.
Take good care of your new bride.

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Style and Formality Worksheet

1. Describe or define what our perfect wedding would be like. (Where are we? Are we inside or
outside? Is it day or night? What is the season? What are we wearing? How is the facility
decorated? Is it a large elaborate affair or a small intimate affair?)

2. Describe what the past weddings for our family and friends have been like. (What have they
worn? Where was the ceremony and reception held at? Who was invited? Were there
important traditions that were included? What did we like about their weddings? What did
we dislike?)

3. What would make our wedding memorable, romantic, and exciting?

4. What wedding elements are most important to us? What are least important? (Decorations,
Food/beverages, Flowers, Cake, Photos, Transportation, or Favors).

5. What wedding elements are our 3 highest priorities? What are our least?

6. Do we prefer a large extravagant affair or a small intimate gathering?

8

7. What look are we hoping to display? (Formal, Chic, Elegant, Country, Romantic, Friendly,
Sophisticated, or Casual)

8. Do we see our special day as a single event or a series of events over several days?

9. What is our ceremony site preference? (Do we prefer our ceremony be held at a place of
worship, the reception site, or a unique location?)

10. What kind of ceremony do we want? (Religious, Civic, or Interfaith)

11. What type of guests would we like to include? Should we include children or only a certain
age group?

12. How much can we afford to spend?

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13. Who will be responsible for the cost of the wedding? Can we count on assistance from
anyone else besides ourselves?

14. What do we want others to remember most about our wedding? (Theme, Location of
Ceremony, Location of Reception Flowers, Decorations, Brides Gown, Food, Beverages,
Music, Favors, Cake, or Special Touches)

10
Determining your likes and dislikes

1. What is your favorite time of day? Time of season? Why?

2. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Are you considering using any of
your favorite colors in your wedding? If so, which ones?

3. Who are your favorite clothing designers? Why are they your favorites? (Style, Color, or
Fabrics).

4. What are your favorite flowers? What are your least favorite flowers? What type and colors
appeal the most to you?

5. What is your favorite film and why?

6. What are your favorite books?

7. What is your favorite type of music? What is your least favorite type of music? Who are your
favorite artists? Who are your least favorite artists?

8. What is your favorite photo style? (Traditional Portrait, Photojournalistic, Documentary, Color,
Black and White, or Sepia)

11
Determining your likes and dislikes

9. What is your favorite food? What is your favorite cusine?

10. What are your favorite restaurants? What do you like most about them? What do you like the
least? (Quality of food, how the food is served, how the restaurant is decorated, or the
atmosphere).

11. What are your favorite drinks? (Wine, beer, liquor, or soft drinks)

12. What type of food service do you prefer? (Formal sit-down, tray passed foods, brunches, buffets,
or luncheons).

13. What are your hobbies?

14. What is your favorite way to spend your vacation? Why?

15. What are your favorite things to collect?

12
Determining your Style, Formality, and Theme

13

Determining your style/formality:

The type and style of your wedding should reflect the wishes of both you and your groom. The style you
chose will be determined by your preferences, your budget, and by your tastes. The style should be
similar in the ceremony and reception. Review Wedding Style and Formality Spreadsheet found at the
end of this section to determine your style/formality as well as review your answers to the questions from
Determining your Style and Formality as well as Determining your likes and dislikes.

Different Ways to Wed:

There are several different ways to wed:

Honeymoon Weddings
Progressive Weddings
Surprise Weddings
Weekend Weddings

Honeymoon Weddings:

Many couples invite their closest family and friends to a special location where everyone can celebrate
the couples wedding and enjoy a vacation at the same time. You will need to give your guests plenty of
time for making travel arrangements so send out your invitations 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding.

A typical package includes location, accommodations for the wedding night, the officiant, flowers,
photographer, musicians, champagne and cake reception. Most resorts have an on-site coordinator who
will handle most of the details. Make sure the coordinator has experience. This is especially important if
youre getting married outside of the country because he or she will need to know all of the requirements
such as marriage licenses, medical tests, etc.

Popular destination sites include: Hawaii, Disneyland or Disney world, J amaica, US Virgin Islands, and
the Caribbean Islands.

Progressive Wedding:

A progressive wedding is a good alternative for a bride and groom who live out-of-town. Guest who
would like to celebrate the affair simply cannot travel to the same location then the bride and groom
travels to them. It can also be for couples that have divorced parents who dont want to attend the same
event. It would also be a good solution when the grooms family wants to invite more guests than the
brides family is able to accommodate.

The reception following the original ceremony may be as formal as the first reception or as informal as
youd like. Some brides choose to wear their wedding gown again and repeat their original ceremony and
have a formal reception. Others choose to wear a dressy cocktail dress or an ankle length dress.

Surprise Weddings:

The surprise wedding is a new and growing trend. Its popular among couples marrying for the 2
nd
or 3
rd

time. Usually the bride and groom are in on the secret. The wedding can be as informal or formal as you
would like. The couple may host the party under the pretense of a birthday or a special occasion or they
may enlist the help of a friend who appears to just be having a party. Keep in mind you will still need to
make prior arrangements with the officiant and obtain your marriage license.


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Ideas for a Surprise Wedding:

The party could be hosted at a restaurant, hotel, or at home.

Invite guests to a birthday party, barbeque, or house warming party. Be sure to indicate the dress
attire so your guest will show up properly dressed.

Have guests arrive at a location for what they think is a party; offer them champagne then whisk
them off in waiting limousines or other forms of transportation to transport them to the church for
a surprise ceremony. Afterwards they could be transported to the reception to continue the
celebration.

Plan a family reunion.

Plan a trip or vacation with a close group of friends.

Host a New Years Eve party and say your vows just before the stroke of midnight.

Host a Halloween costume party and dress as the bride and groom.

Weekend Weddings:

A weekend wedding is where friends and family come together for a weekend reunion. It allows everyone
to spend time together and have lots of fun. The following is sample itinerary or some ideas that you can
incorporate:

Friday:

You may want to start the weekend by having a friend or relative host a welcoming party or expand your
rehearsal to include out-of-town guests.

Saturday:

Invite everyone to participate in a brunch, luncheon, picnic, or barbeque hosted by another friend or
relative. One of these activities could be followed by an afternoon of golf, tennis, or shopping.

Saturday Evening:

A great way to wrap things up for the day is a formal evening wedding and reception starting at 6 or
6:30pm.

Sunday:

You and your groom could meet of all your guests at a late morning brunch followed by afternoon
activities.

Sunday Evening:

You may choose to say goodbye to your guests and leave for your honeymoon as guests leave at their
leisure.

15

Additional ideas for parties and activities:

Barbeque and pool party
Picnic at the beach and park
Organized golf or tennis tournament
Softball game
Cartoonist, face painters, mimes, or magicians to entertain children
Offer guests an option of professional baseball, football, or basketball games.

Guests need plenty of time to plan so send a preliminary announcement or itinerary. As the date
approaches, send a schedule of activities as well as mention any additional costs. Give tips on and include
info on travel and lodging arrangements. To help your guest with their costs, you might try to reserve a
group of rooms at a reduced rate. A disadvantage for this type of wedding is that many of your guests will
not be able to attend due to money or time. If this is the case, have a party when you return for those who
could not attend.

You may choose to use one of the above options to wed or you may want to select a theme. Review
Creative Themes on the next page to help you create your own theme.

Sample Styles and Formalities

16
Items: Ultra Formal

Semi-Formal Informal
Guests: 200+ 100+ 50-100 0-50
Time of day: Noon
Late Afternoon
Evening
Day
Evening
Morning
Afternoon
Evening
Daytime
Number of
Attendants:
4-12 2-6 1-2 1
Invitations: Engraved
Thermography.

Traditional
Wording.

Separate
Reception Cards
RSVPs.
Engraved
Thermography.

Response/
Reception Cards
are optional.
Thermography or
Printed.

Ceremony and
Reception Cards
in the same
invitation.
Personal or
Hand Written.

Brides Attire: Formal Dress.

White or Ivory.

Cathedral or
Chapel Train

Veil.
Long Dress.

Cathedral or
Chapel Train.

Veil or hat.
Floor length or
cocktail dresses.

White or Pastel.

Hat, short veil or
flowers.

Dressy Street
Clothes.
Grooms Attire: Black Tie.

Cutaways for
Daytime.

Tails-evening.
Black Tie.

Stroller J ackets &
Striped Trousers
for Daytime.

Formal-evening.
Dark Suits.
Dinner J ackets.
Dressy Street
Clothes.
Attendants
Attire:
Tea or Floor
Length.
Tea or Floor
Length.
Same length as
the Bride.
Dressy Street
Clothes.
Mothers
Attire:
Tea or Floor
Length.
Long or Cocktail
Dresses.
Street or Tea
length dresses.
Dressy Street
Clothes.
Reception: Large.

Seated Lunch or
Dinner.
Varies.

Sit down dinner
to Cake and
punch.
Small and
Simple.

Light
refreshments
served.
Restaurant or at the
home of the family.
Creative Themes

Cinderella Theme:

Check with local theater, college drama groups or costume shops for props to create the
atmosphere. Search for items such as thrones, a pumpkin coach, magic wands, and red
carpet.

Search for a tiara or glass slippers, which is a must for Cinderella.

Check into the rental of a horse drawn carriage (preferably white).

Check into getting a small Cinderella castle that you could use as a cake topper.

Use chocolate truffle mice as favors. You could make these yourself. Roll a ball of truffle and
pinch one end for the nose. Dip almond halves in white or dark chocolate for ears and then dip in
chocolate. Use piped white icing to add the eyes and mouth details. Add colored cords for the
tails.

Consider having a glass slipper ice sculpture.

Use clear glass pumpkins or regular orange pumpkins for decorations. Consider using orange or
fall napkins.

Have the DJ play the Cinderella sound track on CD along with Beauty and the Beast or When
you wish upon a star.

Heart Theme:

Use heart-shaped grapevine wreaths covered with flowers or greenery for your attendants to carry
instead of regular bouquets. This would be a good keepsake that could be done with fresh, dried,
or silk flowers.

Purchase or make a large wire framed heart or have two intertwined and covered with white
lights.

Use a foam core board and paste on hearts out of construction paper. Add pictures of you and the
groom in the center.

Use heart-shaped paper napkins (these are easier to find around Valentines Day) or use a heart
stamp to add hearts to your napkins, invitations, envelopes, place cards, paper table- cloths and
paper cones.

Use a heart mold for the ice in the punch.

Try to find a pretty heart-shaped cake topper or have your cake made in the shape of a heart.

Get a heart-shaped guest book.

Use a heart-shaped hole punch to make confetti for tossing.

17
Creative Themes

Use a regular paper cone notched at the top to look like a heart and fill it with confetti, rice,
birdseed or rose petals.

Winter Theme:

Use white branches with white twinkle lights at the inside or out front of a winter event to set the
mood. Add a special touch to your white branches and hang paper snowflakes from them with
photos of you and the groom growing up, shots of you together and shots of your family in the
center of each flake.

Use garland, Christmas trees, or scrubs (in pots) also decked out in twinkle lights.

Trim your gown with white faux fur and dont forget a hooded cape trimmed with fur as well.

Carry snow-white roses or other white flowers for an all white bouquet.

Have your attendants carry candles instead of bouquets.

Use white flowers through out your ceremony and reception.

Set the wedding cake in a snow bank of cotton or tulle snow.

Use a snow globe for the cake topper as a striking accent to the scene and you could save this as a
memento.

Use ice sculptures for a magical effect.

Use silver and white glitter in paper cones for tossing instead of rice.

Western Theme:

Barns, Victorian homes, parks, and farms would be good sites to choose from and you may be
able to rent these for the day.

Ride to the wedding and the reception in a horse drawn carriage.

Check modern western wedding dresses for bridal attire. For an old west look, choose an
American Victorian style dress or for a more informal wedding wear a jean/skirt, dress, or blue
jeans. A popular look for western wedding is white wedding dress with red boots.

For mens attire, check for cowboy tuxedoes in tuxedo rental shops. This would also include the
ring bearers attire. You could also wear a traditional cowboy hat and boots.

Use simple flowers including wild flowers for your bouquet or boutonnieres. Fill paint cans, tins,
mason jars and baskets with flowers.

Use bales of hay, rope, jugs, old boots, gingham and calico to decorate your facilities.

18
Creative Themes
Look into serving barbeque or having a caterer come out to your site and cater barbeque. Serve
the food on blue or black speckled dishes (you may be able to rent these in your area). Eat on
bales of hay, picnic tables or benches.

For music, check into using guitars, banjos, or violins.

Victorian:

Use Victorian cards for invitations.

You could wear a high collar dress with gloves and button shoes.

The men could wear a cutaway tuxedo with ascots, gloves and maybe a pocket watch.

You and your attendants could carry a small bunch of flowers such as tussy mussys.

For your reception, you could hold an afternoon garden or tea reception.

For favors, you could use Jordan almonds with ribbons.

For your cake, you could have silver charms inserted and have your attendants pull these out for
keepsakes.

19
Creating A Realistic Budget

Once you have a good idea of what you want youre celebration to consist of, you need to
determine if you will have the money to create such a vision. Dont worry as you go through
this section as you may need to revise your plans to fit your budget. This is a natural part of
planning. Most of the decisions you will make regarding your wedding will be determined by your
budget. This may be a sticky subject for both of you but with the costs of weddings today, every couple
needs to have a budget unless you are like a few fortunate individuals and have an unlimited amount of
money. Also, its important as you start your life together to get into the habit of financial planning since
you will have to continue this throughout your married life. Knowing how much money you have to
spend, and then staying within or less than that amount, will make the whole planning process easier. No
matter what amount you come up with there are lots of creative ideas and money saving tips to help you
create a memorable, romantic, and special affair.

Weddings can be an expensive proposition especially when you consider this expense is only for
one day. Today the average wedding costs between $15,000 and $20,000. The following is an
estimate of the costs for different styles of weddings:

Informal $5,000 or less

Semi-formal $6,000 to $7,500

Formal $10,000 to $15,000

Ultra-formal $40,000 or more

In determining your budget, you will first need to start with a ballpark figure. You may be asking yourself
how will you even get to a ballpark figure since you have never planned an event of this caliber before
and are not sure whats all involved in the process. The following is a list of items where you will be
putting the most of your money:

Reception
Photography
Flowers
Bridal Gown and Accessories
Videographer
Music
Wedding Bands
Invitations
Transportation
Grooms Attire and Accessories
Miscellaneous

Of these areas, the largest expenditure is the reception which is normally 50% of your total budget. This is
followed by the Wedding Consultant at 10 to 15% then the photograper and flowers which is 7 to 10% of
your budget. Now that you know what areas you are going to spend your money on, you will need to
determine who else besides yourself will be contributing to the expenses.

21

Traditionally, the brides parents pay the majority of the wedding costs. Now with more couples
working, over 70% of all brides and grooms pay for their own wedding. How you determine who
will pay for what is really up to the you, your parents, and the groom. There is no absolute rule
on who pays for what. Keep in mind the bride should always let the groom discuss any finances
with his family. Also, the more the grooms family is contributing to the expenses, the more
input they should have in the planning. The grooms family should never assume the
responsibility of paying any cost other than the traditional grooms cost without first asking
permission from the bride and her family. The brides family may decline the offer to share costs
if they wish.

The following are different ways to divide up the expenses among the contributing parties:

The bride and groom pay for the entire wedding as mentioned above.

The costs are divided into thirds; the brides family, the grooms family, and each couple pays one-
third.

One-half of all the expenses are paid by each family.

Assign various expenses to the bride and groom, reducing the financial obligation of the parents or specify
individual costs that each family pays. For example: the brides family pays for the ceremony costs and the
reception food while the grooms family pays for the cost of flowers, liquor, and music.

All expenses for the ceremony and reception can be added together, to arrive at a per-person cost; then both sets
of parents pay for their respective guests.

Grooms family pays for the entire wedding. This is normally the case when the brides family is
deceased or this is the grooms first wedding and the brides second.

When the brides parents are divorced, the expenses can be paid for by the father, mother, or they
may each pay a portion depending on their finances. Many times the wedding is hosted by whom ever
raised the child.

To help determine who should pay for the wedding expenses, review spreadsheet Traditional Expenses
to gain an insight of the traditional breakdown, then use spreadsheet, Total Cost To Be
Paid By at the end of this section to determine your own. Also review spreadsheet Breakdown of
Expenses at the end of this section to gain a better insight on what items in each area may cost. These
items are only ranges but could help you determine what items you may need to budget for. After you are
finished, you should have a good idea of what your ballpark amount is.

22
Also, to ensure you will actually have this amount to work with you may want to consider the following
budget tips:

Start saving early and set-up a savings plan. Its a good idea to set aside 10% to 20% of every
paycheck from now until the wedding. Make efforts to cut back on your expenses.

Open a separate bank account only for your wedding.

Do wedding related tasks yourself when possible or ask your friends and family to help.

Hire a Wedding Consultant to assist you with your planning. A consultant can help you make the
most of your budget.

Work out your budget with your groom and make sure both of you agree with the wedding budget
you work out.

Once you have set-up your ballpark figure and have a plan to ensure you will have this amount,
you will want to break your budget amount down into expense categories to help you know
how much you can spend in each area.

At the end of this section is a sample break down of the categories mentioned earlier and sample
percentages for each. The percentages are based on the average wedding and are not set in stone but can
be prioritized or changed to reflect what is most important to you. For example, if having a more
lavish dress is more important then the pictures the photographer will be taking, you can increase
the percentage for your dress and reduce the percentage on the photographer. By prioritizing and
moving the percentages around to meet your own individual needs, you will be able to reduce or
eliminate some of your expenses. Use spreadsheet Wedding Costs at the end of this section to prioritize
and determine your own individual expense percentages.

Once you have estimated your wedding costs, use spreadsheet Expense Record at the end of this section
to track your budget and stay on track. Be sure to take your expense record out when you are
visiting vendors or making purchases of any kind. By recording and investigating each item, you
can host the wedding you have always wanted with out ruining your budget or going into debt.

23
Traditional Expenses

24
Bride
Wedding band for the groom.
A wedding gift for the groom.
Gifts for the bridal attendants.
Personal Stationary.
Accommodations for out-of-town guests.

Groom
The brides engagement and wedding band.
A wedding gift for the bride.
Gifts for the best man and ushers.
Grooms wedding attire.
Brides bouquet and going away corsage.
Mothers and grandmothers corsages.
Boutonnieres for attendants, fathers, and grandfathers.
Marriage license.
Clergymans fees.
The honeymoon expenses.

Brides family
Engagement party(optional).
Ceremony costs(location, music, rentals, and all related expenses).
Reception costs(food, beverage, entertainment, rental items, decorations, wedding cake.
Bride wedding attire and accessories.
A wedding gift for the couple.
Wedding invitations, announcements, and mailing costs.
Bridesmaids bouquets.
Transportation for bridal party from the brides home to the site of the ceremony.
Bridesmaid luncheon.
Photography.
Personal wedding attire.
Floral decorations.
Special item they may wish to purchase(toasting goblets, ring pillow, etc.)

Grooms family
Rehearsal dinner party.
Personal wedding attire.
Travel and accommodations for grooms family.
Wedding gift for the bride and groom.
Special item they may wish to purchase(toasting goblets, ring pillow, etc.)
Any general expenses they may wish to contribute.

Attendants
Wedding attire for themselves.
Any travel expenses.
Wedding gift for bride and groom.
Showers given by the maid of honor or bridesmaids.

Bride and Groom
Gifts of appreciation for parents or others who helped with your wedding.
Expenses for items desired which have exceeded original budget allocations.
Total Cost To Be Paid By:
Items & Services Brides Family Grooms Family Bride Groom
Ceremony
Site Fee
Ceremony Music
Bridal Consultant
Stationery
Invitations
Reception Cards
Response Cards
Announcements
Thank-You Notes
Programs/Napkins
Wedding Attire
Bridal Dress
Headpiece/Accessories
Rings
Grooms Wedding Band
Gifts
Grooms Gift
Bridal Attendants
Flowers
Ceremony Site
Reception Site
Brides Flowers
Bridesmaids Bouquets
Reception
Site Fee
Caterer
Liquor/Beverage
Equipment
Cake
Music
Photography
Formal Portrait
Parents Album
Extra Pictures
Videography
Transportation
Limos
Parking Attendants

25
Total Cost To Be Paid By:

26

27
This Page Intentionally Left Blank

Breakdown of Expenses
Item: Cost:
Main Meal $10---$60 per person
Liquor $8---$25 per person
Bartender $50---$375
Cork Fee $5---$20
Pour Coffee Fee $.25---$.75 per cup
Service Provider $7---$25
Gratuity 15%---18% of total bill
Party Favors $1---$8 per person
Disposable Cameras $4---$13 per person
Rose Petals $.35---$1.00 per person
Gifts for Attendants $20---$80 per person
Outdoor Ceremony or Reception
Aisle Pew, Knee Cushion, Arch, Chuppah $100---$400
Tent $300---$3000
Dance Floor $100---$300
Tables and Chairs $3---$8 per item
Linen and Tableware $3---$20 per item
Heaters $25---$50 per heater
Lanterns $6---$40 per lantern
Cake:
Bride's Cake $1---$15 per slice
Cake Top $25---$150
Groom's Cake $.75---$1.50 per slice
Cake Knife $15---$120
Toasting Glasses $30---$80
Delivery and Set-up $20---$50
Cake Cutting $.75---$1.75 per slice
Miscellaneous
Rehearsal Dinner $10---$30 per person
Marriage License $20---$85
Newspaper Announcement $40---$80
Gifts
Bride's Gift $50---$500
Groom's Gift $50---$500
Bridesmaid's Gifts $25---$100 per attendant
Usher's Gifts $25---$100 per attendant

28
Sample Wedding Costs 1
Item: Percentage: Estimated Costs Actual Costs:
Reception 49%
Photography 10%
Flowers 8%
Brides Gown+Accessories 7%
Videographer 6%
Music 6%
Wedding Bands 4%
Invitations 2%
Transportation 2%
Grooms Attire+Accessories 1%
Miscellaneous 5%

Totals 100%

29
Sample Wedding Costs 2
Item: Percentage: Estimated Costs Actual Costs:
Reception
Photography
Flowers
Brides Gown+Accessories
Videographer
Music
Wedding Bands
Invitations
Transportation
Grooms Attire+Accessories
Miscellaneous

Totals

30
Wedding Costs
Item: Percentage: $5000 $10,000 $15,000 $20,000 $25,000
Reception 49% 2450 4900 7350 9800 12250
Photography 10% 500 1000 1500 200 2500
Flowers 8% 400 800 1200 960 2000
Brides Gown+Accessories 7% 350 700 1050 1400 1750
Videographer 6% 300 600 900 1200 1500
Music 6% 300 600 900 1200 1500
Wedding Bands 4% 200 800 600 800 1000
Invitations 2% 100 200 300 400 500
Transportation 2% 100 200 300 400 500
Grooms Attire+Accessories 1% 50 100 150 200 250
Miscellaneous 5% 250 500 750 1000 1250

Totals 100% 5000

31
Wedding Costs
Item: Percentage: $30,000 $35,000 $40,000 $45,000 $50,000
Reception 49% 14700 17150 19600 22050 24500
Photography 10% 3000 3500 4000 4500 5000
Flowers 8% 2400 2800 3200 3600 4000
Brides Gown+Accessories 7% 2100 2450 2800 3150 3500
Videographer 6% 1800 2100 2400 2700 3000
Music 6% 1800 2100 2400 2700 3000
Wedding Bands 4% 1200 1400 1600 1800 2000
Invitations 2% 600 700 800 900 1000
Transportation 2% 600 700 800 900 1000
Grooms Attire+Accessories 1% 300 350 400 450 500
Miscellaneous 5% 1500 1750 2000 2250 2500

Totals 100%

32
Expense Record
Items & Services Estimated
Cost
Deposit
Paid
Balance
Due
Actual Costs Difference
Ceremony
Site Fee
Ceremony Music
Bridal Consultant
Stationery
Invitations
Reception Cards
Response Cards
Announcements
Thank-You Notes
Programs/Napkins
Wedding Attire
Bridal Dress
Headpiece/Accessories
Rings
Grooms Wedding Band
Gifts
Grooms Gift
Bridal Attendants
Flowers
Ceremony Site
Reception Site
Brides Flowers
Bridesmaids Bouquets
Reception
Site Fee
Caterer
Liquor/Beverage
Equipment
Cake
Music
Photography
Formal Portrait
Parents Album
Extra Pictures
Videography
Transportation
Limos
Parking Attendants

33
Setting Your Final Budget

Setting your final budget:

Once you have settled on the style and formality of your wedding and you have
approximated what you can afford to spend, set your final budget amount. Use this figure
throughout the rest of your planning and if possible, try to come within 10% of this
amount.

34

For each professional who will provide the services for your wedding, you should firm up all the details
and get a contract or letter describing the details of the products or services he or she will provide. The
contract or letter of agreement should include the costs and should be signed by both parties.

Having a contact will give you and the service providers a peace of mind and ensure there are no
misunderstandings. Its also your best defense against inferior or inadequate service before the fact.
However, if something should go wrong, you have the written contract to help renegotiate the price or
provide evidence in case of litigation.

Contracts or Letters of Agreements needed for the following professionals:

Baker
Bridal Salon
Caterer
Ceremony Location
Florist
Musicians
Photographer
Reception Hall
Rental Equipment Company
Stationery Provider
Transportation Service
Tuxedo Rental Shop
Wedding Consultant

Be sure to get a contract from anyone else who may be providing goods or services.

Items that the contract or letter of agreement should contain:

Day, date, and time

Delivery dates, times, and locations
Detailed list of merchandise ordered
List of services to be provided, number of hours, breaks, etc.
Appropriate dress
Name of person in charge of your wedding
Alternative merchandise or service
Deposits or payment schedules
Last date to make changes or provide a final guest count
Cancellation and refund policy

For a more comprehensive break-down of what should included in each vendors contract, see the vendor
section.

35

Dos and Dont of Contracts or Letters of Agreements

Dont be embarrassed, intimated or feel that youre insulting the vendor by asking for everything in
writing.

Do read the contract carefully, especially the fine print. Allow yourself enough time. If you feel
rushed, take the contract home to review it and mail back the signed copy. Look closely for errors and
possible ambiguities. Make sure you understand and agree to everything. Ask to have any lingo that is
unclear rewritten in term you can understand.

Dont assume if something is not specified in the contract, you can count on it for your wedding. If its
not specified, discuss it with the supplier, type or write it in and make sure you and the supplier initial
it.

Do ensure you and the service provider both sign and date the contract. You wont have a valid
contract if the service provider doesnt sign it. Also, be sure that you and the service provider initial
any changes.

Do ensure the contract specifies liability as to who is responsible if something goes wrong; i.e.
damage to the premises.

Dont overlook the cancellation or refund policy. Understand exactly what the cancellation fees are
and try to avoid large cancellation fees. Last minute cancellation fees are understandable and fair. In
the event you do have to cancel, notify all vendors as soon as possible.

Do use credit cards. Pay the smallest deposit you can down and put this amount on your credit card.
Special federal consumer protection laws protect all payments made with a credit card. If you should
have a problem, you must first make an effort to correct the problem with the provider or renegotiate
the terms or prices. Do this writing and keep the copies. If this does not resolve the issue, send a copy
of your contract, any correspondence, and a letter explaining the problems and any pictures or proof
that will strengthen your case to your credit card company. If after their investigation, they find the
merchant did not live up to the terms of your contract they will credit your account. If the retailer
wishes to dispute this, he or she will have to file a claim against you for payment.

Do keep copies of all signed contracts and attach your receipts so if there is ever a question to the
amount paid you have all the information handy.

Wedding Insurance:

For peace of mind and protection against wedding cancellations, you can protect what you have invested
with Weddingsurance by Firemans Fund. The company has a variety of plans available. For more
information you can contact them at Weddingsurance, P.O. Box 307, Fawnskin, CA 92333 or call 1-800-
364-2433.

36

Choosing a Site:

The wedding site you choose will depend on you and your grooms individual tastes and religious
backgrounds. It should also reflect your style and priorities. Determine whether your site will be a
religious house of worship or a secular site. In addition, keep in mind the locations distance from the
reception and its size in relation to your overall wedding.

The location should be able to accommodate all of your guests. A rule of thumb is 8 square foot
per person. Also ensure that where ever your aisle will be that you, your escort and your dresses
can fit through it comfortably. In addition, dont select a large facility if there are only a few
guests. A small facility would be more intimate. Popular locations tend to be booked up quickly so
be sure to reserve you site as early as possible.

Sources to find locations:

You can find information about wedding sites with a variety of resources:

Books: several resources are:

Private Places for Public Functions by Hannelore Hahn (covers spaces in major cities)

Far Away Weddings by Denise and Alan Fields (a good book for destination weddings)

Bridal Shows: Vendors display their sites at these events

Caterer: They are familiar with off-site premises and you may ask them for their suggestions

Chamber of Commerce: They provide brochures on different locations

Regional Bridal Magazines: They will sometimes list different sites in your area

Internet: Surf the Internet under Wedding sites or locations

Local Newspapers: Wedding announcements in the newspaper sometimes mention the wedding and
reception sites

Subscription Newsletters: Feature romantic places and easy escapes as well as little known and
unusual destinations

Travel Brochures, Catalogs, and Trade Magazines: Feature locations and special events for various
large cities

37

Location ideas:

Church or Synagogues
University Chapels
Private Homes or Estates
Civic or Private Theaters
Museums
Historical Buildings or Mansions
Large lobbies of Grand Old Buildings
Art Galleries
Elks, Women Clubs
Community Centers
Hotel Ballrooms
Romantic Hotels
Bed and Breakfast Inns
Romantic Resorts
Wineries, Ranches, or Orchards
Public Beaches, Parks, or Gardens
Fairgrounds or Race Tracks
Zoos or amusement parks
Yachts, Boats or Barges
Your Home
Home of a family member or friend

Religious Facilities:

The selection will depend on you and your fiancs families personal affiliation with a particular church
or synagogue.

Hotels, Private Clubs, or Reception Halls:

If your emphasis is not religious or very formal then a hotel, private club, or a reception hall is a popular
choice. An advantage to these options is that both can accommodate the ceremony and reception. Many
will furnish altars, aisles, canopies and chairs. If they dont, look into renting any equipment yourself. Be
sure to check the costs before you make a commitment. Also, be sure to check the hotel facilities in
advance especially during busy wedding months of June, July, and August. Private clubs typically dont
open their facilities to non-members. Check with you and your grooms friends or family who may be
willing to host your wedding.

Home and Garden Weddings:

A nice entrance can be made coming down a staircase and then have the ceremony take place in front of a
fireplace. A decorated arch or gazebo would make a lovely garden setting for your wedding. Position the
arch or gazebo so the sun doesnt shine in anyones eyes. You may want to have the area tented or the
ceremony moved inside in case of bad weather.

38

Historical or Public Sites:

To find historical or public sites, check you local newspapers, yellow pages or call the local Chamber of
Commerce. There are many old mansions that are open to the public and can be rented. There are also
many museums, arboretums and formal gardens that will make a beautiful setting.

Ships or Boats:

Ships or boats are great for smaller unconventional weddings. If you dont own a ship or have one to
borrow, check the local yellow pages or local newspapers regarding rentals. The prices will depend on the
size of the ship or boat and the number of hours you wish to rent it. For smaller ships and boats you will
need to supply the food. For larger ships such a cruise ships, the food will probably be provided.

Mountains, Parks and Beaches:

For a perfect spot, contact your local Parks and Recreation Department. These are great locations for
theme weddings. For example, you could have a Hawaiian wedding at the beach with a luau for the
reception. Another example is an old- fashioned picnic reception at the park. You could give each couple
their own picnic basket filled with a variety of food, a bottle of wine or champagne and a decorative
tablecloth.

When searching for your ceremony site, use spreadsheet Ceremony Location Sheet on the next page to
compare the costs and services provided per site.

39
Ceremony Location Sheet
Location #1 Location #2 Location #3

Name:
Address:

Date Available
Time Available
Occupancy
Rental Fee
Officiant
Name
Phone
Fee
Service
Organist
Soloist
Altar Boys
Other
Equipment
Aisle Runner
Canopy
Kneeler
Altar
Other
Restrictions
Photography
Candles
Music
Rice/Rose Petals/Seed
Other
Miscellaneous

Total Cost:

40

41

Choosing a reception site:

Its best to have your reception is immediately following the ceremony. When deciding what type
of reception to have, be sure to consider the number of guests, your budget, and the formality of your
wedding. 40% or more of your total wedding budget should go to your reception. You may
pay $500 to $4,000 for your reception site. This doesnt include the caterer, which can run
between $500 to $1,500.

Some locations provide catering. If your location doesnt, make sure they will work well with the caterer
of your choice. Establish good communications and clearly understand who is responsible for set-up and
clean-up (if its clean-up, make sure you know whats involved) and if someone else is in charge of clean-
up, find out if this is an extra charge. Make sure you know what is involved in the fee (tables, chairs,
plates, glasses, or flatware). If the site doesnt provide these necessities, they should be able to
recommend rental companies. Use Equipment Checklist at the end of this section to determine what
items you are going to need to rent or secure. Be sure the location you select can accommodate your
number of guests and if there is an extra fee for extra guests. Discuss the power supply for your
entertainment and volume control. Determine if its possible to set-up the night before to make your
wedding morning less stressful. Also, make sure you know when everything needs to be broken down and
cleaned up.

Additional items to keep in mind when selecting the site:

The distance between the ceremony and the reception
Reserve your location as soon as you have made your decision as popular locations book in advance.
Check to see that type of facilities they have (hall or social room) and what the fee is.
Be sure to inquiry about any policies regarding alcoholic beverages or music.

Types of Facilities:

Hotels, Restaurants or Private Clubs:

At these facilities, the people are experienced, offer complete services and they will coordinate all phases
of your reception. Keep in mind you will have little flexibility in choosing your menu and you will have
to confirm to their schedule.

Check to see:

o The actual room where the reception will be held.
o What their menu selections are and the cost per person?
o If their menu selections include the cake and if not, there will probably be a cake-cutting fee.
o What the charge per drink is for an open bar? If there will be a corking fee if you provide your
own champagne? Will they charge extra to pour coffee with the cake?
o What equipment is included, what is extra, and what needs to be rented?
o If there are any music restrictions.
o How long you may have the facilities?
o Is there a service fee and what this consists of? Also, make sure they have adequate serving
people.
o Do they provide decorations or flowers?

42

Private Homes or Gardens:

Private homes or gardens provide more flexibility in time, schedules, and menus. However, you will need
to do more coordinating. Strongly consider hiring a Wedding Consultant to help you coordinate
everything. This will save you time and money.

Check to see:

o If the location can accommodate all of your guests.
o If the food can be prepared by you with the help of family or friends or by a caterer (this will all
depend on your budget). Try to use a caterer if at all possible. This will be one less thing you have
to worry about.
o What equipment may need to be rented and determine the costs.
o If parking is adequate or if valet parking is needed.
o If the kitchen and bathroom facilities are adequate or if portable stoves and toilets need to be
supplied.
o If there is sufficient electricity for outside lights or heaters.
o If you will need a tent or have an alternative location for an outside reception in the event of bad
weather.

Clubs, Restaurants, or Hotels:

A reception held at clubs, restaurants, or hotels are less expensive than other sites because they can
provide complete services and facilities. This would relieve you the burden of coordinating the reception.
The disadvantage of these sites is they have pre-established menus with little flexibility. You must also
confirm to their time schedule.

Interviewing for your site:

Use spreadsheet Reception Site Worksheet at the end of this section to compare the cost of
each site and what each will provide before making your final decision. If the site doesnt provide the
necessary essentials, dont forget to add in the cost of rental equipment (tables, chairs, glasses, plates,
silverware, and serving dishes). Be sure to see the actual room or location where your reception will take
place. Also, be sure the name of the room or location is written on your contract to avoid confusion later.

What items should be specified in your reception site contract:

Date and time of the reception.
Specific room you are booking.
Provisions for a change in room (be sure if you have selected a specific room that the name of the
room is in the contract and if you are bumped from that room for any reason, what the provisions to
you will be).
Time that set-up and decorating can begin.
Time you can arrive and all guests need to leave.
Services included in the fee (catering, serving staff, bartenders, parking, etc.).
Itemized menu, time meal will be served and timeframe for consuming meal (if included as services
of reception site).
Total cost, including taxes and gratuities.
Payment schedule (deposit and balance of payments as well as due dates).
Method of payments.
Reception Site Comparisons
Site#1 Site# 2 Site #3

Name:

Address:

Room/Hall
Date Available
Time
Occupancy
Fee

Equipment
Tables
Chairs
Linens

Food
Hors doeuvres
Buffet
Sit-down
Food Station
Wedding Cake

Beverages
Non-alcoholic
Champagne/Wine
Open Bar

Number of Servers
Waiters/Waitresses
Bartenders
Valet Parkers

Included
Gratuities
Sales Tax

Time
Number of Hours
Overtime Costs

Cancellation
Policy
Fee

Miscellaneous

Total

43
Equipment Checklist
Equipment Description Qty Cost: Total Cost:
Ceremony
Aisle Runner
Aisle Stanchions
Aisle Candelabra
Free Standing
Clamp Style
Altar Candelabra
No. of lights
Candles
Size
Candlelighter
Canopy/Chupah
Flower Stands
Style_____Size_____
Guestbook Stand
Kneeling Bench
Lattice Backdrops
Microphone
Other
Chairs
Style
Tables
Round Tables
36
48
60
72
Oblong Tables
6
8
Square Tables
34
Linens
Round-Color_________
60
72
90
100
Long-Color__________
54 x 54
60 x 60
Napkins
Cocktail Size
Dinner Size
Dinnerware
Dinner Plates
Salad Plates
Bread Plates
Luncheon Plates
Soup Bowls
Cake Plates
Coffee Cups/Saucers
Demitasse Cups/Saucers

44
Selecting Your Officiant

Religious ceremony:

If you are planning to be married in a house of worship where you or your finance is a member
your choice for an officiant is an easy one. However, you may both be practicing different faiths,
you may be protestant and your groom may be Catholic. You will need to determine if you will
be having an interfaith ceremony. Itcould be that you are a member and your groom is a non-
member. It could be that neither of you belong to a particular church but would like to have a
religious ceremony or you want to have a religious ceremony at a secular site. If you find that you
do not have an officiant, try getting referrals from family or friends that may know of an officiant
that would be willing to conduct your ceremony. Inquire with your ceremony or reception site as
well as your wedding consultant. If all else fails, scan the yellow pages for officiants who may
advertise that they conduct weddings.

Regardless of your membership status or if you already know of an officiant, you will need to
meet with and talk with him/her prior to your ceremony. Some officiants may require that you
have premarital counseling before he/she will marry you. Others may require that you become a
member or get baptized in a certain faith so you will want to make your appointment as early as
possible. Dont officially set your wedding date or reserve your reception site until you have
spoken to the clergyman or officiant.

Meeting with the clergyman or officiant:

Use Clergyman Interview at the end of this section when meeting with the clergyman
or officiant. These are general questions that will help get you started and add any
additional questions you can think of.

Be sure to ask about premarital counseling and any rules or regulations regarding
wedding ceremonies. Also, ask in particular about restrictions in regards to photography
or videography. If there are restrictions, its your responsibility to pass this information
on to the proper vendor.

If you are planning to personalize your service, be sure to ask the officiant if this can be
done and ask that he/she include your thoughts and feelings in the ceremony.

If everything goes well, be sure to schedule your rehearsal while youre there. Dont take
a chance on this date being opened later.

Religious Clergyman or Officiant Fees:

If you are a member of the church, you will just probably be required to give a donation to the
officiant. If you are a non-member, there may be a fee.

Religious Ceremony Fees:

If you are a member of the church, you are normally not charged a fee but you will
probably need to make a donation to the church.

If you are a non-member, you may be required to pay a church fee, which usually start
around $100.00.

45
Selecting Your Officiant

You may be charged a fee for premarital counseling, the organist, pianist, vocalist, or
choir.

If you are planning to have your reception at the church, you may have to pay a fee to
have the reception at the church if you are a non-member.

Etiquette tips:

Invite your clergy or officiant and their spouse to the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and
reception in advance.
Send a wedding invitation to the clergy/officiant, his/her spouse, and family.
Request that the clergyman or officiant attend the rehearsal before the fee is set.
Begin your ceremony on time so the officiant may have the time to attend to other duties.

Civic Ceremony:

In choosing your officiant, check with friends, relatives, or your wedding consultant for referrals.
Also, contact your county clerks office who can tell you who in your area is qualified to perform
a ceremony. In addition, check the yellow pages for Justices of the Peace or Judges.

Meeting with the Justice of the Peace or the Officiant:

Regardless of the site you have selected or whether your ceremony will be held indoors or
outdoors, you will want to set-up an appointment to meet the Justice of the Peace or the officiant.
Your interview with him/her will not be as in-depth as with a religious officiant. Review
Clergyman Interview at the end of this section when meeting with the clergyman or officiant, as
there may be questions that could be relevant to your meeting. Be sure to ask about any
requirements need to conduct the ceremony, the length of the service, and your ability to
personalize the service.

Civic Officiant Fees:

Officiant fees normally run between $50 and $500 and this does not include a gratuity.

Civic Ceremony Fees:

Ceremony fees range between $100 and $800 and are normally more in larger cities.

46
Officiant Interview
If I am not a member of your congregation, will I need to join this particular
religious order to be married here?

If I choose to be married at another site, would you be willing to perform the
service?

Is there a premarital program that I would have to attend? If so, what does the
program consist of and how long does it last?

Are there any denominational regulations that would apply to my service or
are there any set traditions that I would need to adhere to?

Will I be allowed to edit or create my own script and vows?

How long will the ceremony last and will there be any other ceremonies on
this day? If so, when are they scheduled to begin?

Are there any restrictions regarding:

Candles or special light?
Flowers or decorations?
Dress?
Music?
Throwing rice, birdseed, or flower petals?

Can parking spaces be reserved for the wedding party?

When would the florist be able to set-up on the wedding day?

How many times will we need to meet before the actual day?

Will you be present at the rehearsal? If so, will this be an extra charge? Is this
an actual charge or a church donation?

What is your fee? Will the fee be payable to the church or will this be a
donation?

Would it be possible to have the reception here? If so, is this an extra charge?

47

48

Selecting your Color Scheme and Selecting The Wedding Party
Selecting your color scheme:

The color scheme you select will depend on your own individual taste and
preference. There are no set rules when choosing your colors. Choose colors that
you love and that will express who you are. To create contrast, choose more than
one color and then make sure the colors are complimentary. Use the same color
scheme throughout your ceremony and reception. The colors you choose may
affect your attire, your wedding partys attire, flowers, invitations, cake,
decoration, and favors.

Selecting your Wedding Party:

In determining who will make up your wedding party, keep in consideration your style,
formality, your budget and the location of your wedding.

The more attendants you select, the more bouquets, boutonnieres and gifts you will need
to buy.

Choose close friends or family members who are special to you and who can financially afford
to purchase or rent their attire.

The members of your wedding party are:

Maid or Matron of Honor
Bridesmaids
Junior Bridesmaids
Best Man
Ushers
Flower Girl
Ring bearer and Trainbearer
Mother of the Bride
Father of the Bride
Grooms Parents
Other Participants

Maid or Matron of Honor

The maid or matron of honor is someone you feel close to like a sister or a best friend.

The difference between the two is the matron of honor is married and the maid of honor is not.

If you are planning a large wedding, you may want to select both a matron of honor and a maid of honor.
Perhaps a married sister for the matron of honor and an unmarried sister or best friend for the maid of
honor.

The maid or matron of honor pays for her own attire.

49

The maid or matron of honor has the following customary duties:

Helps the bride with addressing invitation envelopes, making favors or assisting with the shopping.

Hosts a shower for the bride alone or with the bridesmaids (optional).

Helps organize the bridesmaids with fittings and with their dresses on the wedding day.

Keeps the grooms ring until the appropriate time in the ceremony, when she exchanges it for the
brides bouquet.

Assists the bride in dressing before the ceremony and at the reception before the bride leaves.

Signs the wedding certificate as a legal witness.

Assists the bride with her train and veil at the altar.

Is a member of the receiving line at the reception and is seated in a place of honor at the reception.

Bridesmaids

The bridesmaids are close friends or sisters of the bride and the groom.

They purchase their own wedding attire.

There is no definite rule on how many bridesmaids you should select. Although twelve attendants are
normally the maximum amount.

The number you select can be even or uneven.

If you have three or less, they should walk down the aisle in single file preceding the maid or matron of
honor. If you have an even number or four/more, you may want them to walk in pairs.

If they outnumber the ushers in the recessional, the extras could pair up or walk out of the ceremony
alone,

For symmetry at the altar and in your pictures, try to keep the number of attendants the same.

The customary duties of the bridesmaids are:

May assist the bride with pre-wedding errands and tasks.

May alone or together as a group, have a shower for the bride and attend all pre-wedding parties.

Attends rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

Sometimes participates in the receiving line.

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Best Man

The best man is a brother, close relative or best friend of the groom. It could also be the grooms father if
he chooses or possibly his son.

The best man is the grooms right hand man in organizing activities and handling important duties as well
as offers moral support.

The best man pays for his own wedding attire.

The customary duties of the best man are:

Transports the groom to the church and helps him get dressed.

Supervises the ushers fittings and organizes them on the wedding day.

Keeps the brides wedding ring until the appropriate time during the ceremony.

Delivers the officiants fee before or after the ceremony.

Signs the wedding certificate as a witness.

Makes the first toasts to the bride and groom at the reception and reads any telegrams.

Dances with the bride at the reception.

Makes sure the suitcases are loaded into the honeymoon car and the groom has his plane tickets,
itinerary and travelers checks.

Takes grooms wedding attire to the cleaners or to the rental shop.

The Ushers

Ushers are brothers, relatives, or close friends of the groom.

They pay for or rent their own wedding attire.

There is not a definite rule on the number of ushers you should have in your wedding but a good
approximation is one for every 50 guests.

It is not necessary to have the same number as the brides attendants but this would give your wedding
party a better balance and provide symmetry at the altar as well as in your pictures if they were close in
number.

If you want them to walk down the aisle in the processional, they may walk down in single file if there is
less than four. If there are more than four they could pair up together.

51

The traditional duties of the ushers are:

Arrive at the church one-hour before the ceremony and seat early guests. The brides guests are
normally seated on the left and the grooms on the right (In Orthodox Jewish weddings-the sides are
reversed).

Seat guests with pew cards in reserved or special section.

Distribute wedding programs if necessary.

Direct placement of the wedding gifts.

Seat grooms parents in the right front pew and brides mother in the left front pew.

Unroll the aisle carpet/runner and then take their places.

Escort bridesmaids out of the church after the recessional.

Flowergirl

The flower girl is normally a relative of the bride or grooms or a child of a close friend between the ages
of 4 and eight.

You may use one or two flower girls and it may be better to use two if one of the girls is younger in age to
help out.

The flower girl normally carries a small basket of rose petals to drop as she goes down the aisle.
If the church prohibits this, she may carry baby roses to pass out as she goes down the aisle.

Ringbearer and/or Trainbearer

Its not necessary to have either a ringbearer or a trainbearer but they are perfect escorts for the flowergirl
(s) in the recessional and they look adorable.

The age range is normally four or five but age is really up to the wishes of the bride and groom. Keep in
mind the younger they are the easier they get distracted.

The ringbearer or trainbearer may be a girl and if so, her attire should match the flowergirls.

The ringbearer carries the ring (s) tied by a ribbon on a satin or lace pillow down the aisle.

The ringbearer normally walks alone but could walk with the flowergirl. The ringbearer always precedes
the bride.

The trainbearer carries the bridal gown train and follows the bride down the aisle.

52

The Mother of the Bride

The mother of the bride will want to be involved if possible or when needed. Her involvement may
depend on where she is located but she will probably always be available for advice and suggestions.

Her involvement may include:

Assisting with the selection of the gown accessories and attendants attire.

Assisting with compiling guest list and helping address the invitations.

Helping with the ceremony and reception details.

Purchases her own dress. She has first choice in choosing the color but consults with the grooms
mother.

Keeps the father of the bride informed of wedding plans.

She is the official hostess at the wedding reception. She is the last person to be seated at the ceremony
and the first to greet the guests in the receiving line at the reception. She is in a place of honor at the
reception.

The Father of the Bride

This is the father of the brides big day as well. He has probably dreamed of walking you
down the aisle for a long time. If possible, dont deny him this pleasure.

Duties of the father are:

His wedding attire should conform to the grooms father attire.

He rides with the bride to the ceremony.

He escorts his daughter down the aisle and either stays there or sits in the front left pew.

He may stand in the receiving line or mingle with the guests as host of the reception.

He takes care the final payments of the caterers, musicians, etc. and is generally the last person to
leave the reception.

Grooms Parents

Depending on their financial involvement and location in relation to the bride and the groom, the
parents of the groom will be involved as much as you would like them to be.

53

Duties of the grooms parents:

Send a note or phone the bride and her parents welcoming them in to the family.

Generally host the rehearsal dinner.

The grooms mother stands in the receiving line and the father may or may not.

Other Participants

There are a number of duties that other close friends or relatives may do:

Help decorate the ceremony or reception locations.

Sing a song, read a scripture or poem, or serve as candlelighters.

Be in charge of the guest book and gifts.

Divorced Parents

Depending on the individual circumstances, each situation regarding divorced parents are handled
differently. Its a good idea to involve all parents. Ask the parents or step parent what would make
them more comfortable. Try to avoid favoritism to prevent hurt feelings.

If you have parents that do not get along, its a good idea to sit them down and let them know that
this is your special day and they should forget their differences and conceal their personal
feelings.

If the brides parents are divorced there are a number of ways to address the invitations. If they
are separated but not divorced, then its best to ignore their differences and follow the normal
procedures.

In regards to seating for the ceremony, the mother of the bride should sit in the first pew on the
left side.

If she is remarried, her husband may sit with her. If not, she should sit alone or with close
relatives. If she has an escort, this person should sit with the other guests.

The seating for the father of the bride should be discussed before the wedding to determine
everyones feelings. The father may also sit in the first pew after he gives you away. It
would probably be a good idea to have relatives sit between him and his ex-wife.

If hes remarried and his wife is attending, he could sit on the second or third pew. If he is
bringing a casual escort, then his escort should sit back with the other guests.

In the receiving line, its not necessary to include fathers. If they want to be a part of the receiving
line, they should stand next to their ex-wife or be separated by the bride and the groom.

54

Stepparents should not be the receiving line unless the bride or groom has no mother and father
or the bride or groom was raised by the stepparent.

Its not best to include divorced patents at the brides table at the reception. Seat them at separate
tables with their own friends.

If they are not on the best of term or if one is accompanied with his/her new spouse, you may
want to consider placing them at separate tables across the room.

Children from previous marriages

Depending on the wishes of the bride and groom and their relationship with the children, including
children from a prior marriage may help the children accept the wedding easier and would make
them feel like an important part of the ceremony.

55

56

Planning The Ceremony
Planning your ceremony:

Once your have secured your ceremony site, you have decided on whether your service will be a religious
or civic one, and have chosen your officiant, you are ready to plan the service of your ceremony. Use
Ceremony Worksheet to plan your wording and ideas. Be sure to discuss the final plan with your
officiant and ensure he/she is in agreement.

Religious Ceremonies:

Each religion has established standards for marriage ceremonies. However, each sect may have
their own practices. The following is a brief description of religious ceremonies:(you may want
to review the general practices in planning for your service).

Protestant:

Protestant churches have similar marriage ceremonies but each sect may have their own practices or
traditions. Its best to go over the regulations or policies of the church with the clergyman that you select.
They may have restrictions against:
Certain music
Use of candles
Use of photography
Performing ceremonies on Sundays or Holy days.

They may require that:
You attend pre-marital counseling sessions with a minister.
With interfaith marriage, at least one member is baptized in a particular faith.
Church judgment as well as civil divorce papers in the case of divorced couples.

Similar marital rituals:

The bride is escorted down the aisle and given away by her father. If he is not available, you may
choose to have a brother, relative, or close family friend escort you or you may choose to walk
alone.
There is a point in the ceremony when the father is asked, Who giveth this women to be
married to this man? Traditionally he answers, Her mother and I do. He then places the brides
hand in the grooms and may give her a kiss, then takes his seat in the front left row.
The marriage vows end with, till death do us part and may go on to finish the ceremony with the
Lords Prayer.

Roman Catholic:

The Catholic Church considers marriage to be a serious and lasting commitment. Its one the seven
sacraments and most parishes require pre-marital counseling so the couple can prepare for their
life together. The church discourages weddings from taking place on Sunday or Holy days and
after 6:00 pm on Saturdays. The most traditional and religious ceremony takes place at high noon
or a Nuptial Mass.

The Catholic ceremony is similar to the Protestants. However, the father escorts the bride down he
aisle but does not give her away.

57
If both people are Catholic, marriage banns are announced three times during Mass or on Sundays
or Holy days or in the church calendar of both the bride and the grooms parishes. Traditional
vows are required to be said, although slight changes may be possible.

For Interfaith marriages, they must obtain dispensation from the bishop of the diocese. A Church-
Sanctioned annulment is required before divorced Catholics may remarry. Banns are not
published. A priest will usually agree to co-officate with a Protestant minister. Most do not have a
Nuptial Mass and those that do, non-Catholics do not take communion. A combination of both
religious traditions are best.

Jewish:

The Jewish wedding may not take place on the Sabbath, major festivals or other Holy days. It also
may not take place during the 49 days between Passover and Shavout, with the exception of the
33
rd
day.

The ceremony ends with the reciting of the seven blessings. The bride and groom drink blessed
wine from a glass. The glass is then wrapped in a napkin, and is smashed under the grooms foot.
There are different beliefs for this act. One represents sadness over the destruction of the Temple
in Jerusalem in 70 A.D. (this is to remind the bride and groom of their obligation to rebuild Zion,
and they must not forget that life is not all happiness). Other represents warding off evil spirits in
which the superstitious believe will want to harm the good fortune of the bride and groom.

The three groups within the Jewish religion are: Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform with the
Orthodox being the strictest in following the Jewish law. Conservative is next, followed by the
Reformed which is the most liberal.

The Orthodox and Conservation traditions are basically the same. Both services are in Hebrew and
Aramaic. The ceremonies are performed under a chupah (a canopy that symbolizes cohabitation
and consummation) by a rabbi. The men wear caps or yarmulkes. The ring is placed on the index finger of
the brides right hand during the ceremony and may be switched to the left, once the ceremony is over.
Neither will officiate at a ceremony of interfaith.

Some differences are, in Orthodox ceremonies, the rabbi will not marry divorced persons unless
they have both a religious and civic decree. The men and women are seated in separate areas of
the synagogue.

In a Reformed ceremony, the differences are, the service is performed in Hebrew and English. It is
not mandatory to have the ceremony preformed under a chupah. Men are not required to wear
yarmulkes. In some ceremonies, the ring may be placed directly on the brides left hand during the
ceremony.

Eastern Orthodox:

Churches of Eastern rite include the Russian and Green Orthodox. Remarriages are allowed if
religious decrees of annulment are received followed by a civil divorce. The banns may or may
not be published.

58

Weddings usually takes place in the afternoon or early evening but not during seasons of fasting or
certain Holy Days. The ceremony is long and full of symbolism:

It begins with betrothal ritual in which rings are blessed, exchanged 3 times to signify the Holy
Trinity and then place on the bride and grooms right hands.
2 crowns are placed on the heads of the bride and groom and are exchanged 3 times.
The Gospel is read.
The couple drinks from the same glass of wine 3 times which signifies their everlasting love and
commitment to share both happy and sad times in marriage.
The ceremony closed with the bride and grooms hands bound together, being led around
a ceremonial table 3 times while the congregation sings, God grant them many years.

Civic Ceremonies:

Civic ceremonies are performed by a judge or authorized official. It may take place in a
courthouse or judges chambers, homes, gardens, hotels clubs or other popular locations. The
procedures would follow those of a religious ceremony in formality and dress. A small reception
of the same formality and style may be held after the ceremony or a larger reception held at a later
date. Civic ceremonies are ideal for informal weddings, remarriages, or when couples have
religious differences.

Additional Ceremonies:

Military Ceremony:

The groom and military attendants dress in appropriate uniforms (white in summer, blue in
winter). Boutonnieres are never worn on the military attire. Officers carry a sword or saber. Non-
military attendants, fathers, the bride, and other members of the wedding party, dress in traditional
formal attire. If the bride is a military officer, she may choose to wear her uniform. An arch of
sabers, swords or rifles is formed at the exit of the ceremony or entrance to the reception in which
the new couple walks through.

Double Ceremony:

The double ceremony is held for two sisters, two brothers, a sister and a brother, or it could be for s set of
close friends. The double ceremony is conducted in different ways depending on the individual situation
and space available. It can cut down on the expenses of holding two separate weddings especially
where a great many of the guests will be the same for both couples. The bride may choose to have
her own bridal party. They may choose to use the same party or the younger bride may follow the
older one down the aisle.

Personalizing your ceremony:

If you are having a religious ceremony, you will first want to discuss personalizing your ceremony
by writing your vows with your clergyman. The main ideas of your vows is to convey the core
values on which your marriage will be based. You could include love, communications, fidelity,
and children, and a long-life commitment. Only include topics that are appropriate for public
consumption. The following are words or phrases that you may want to include in your vows:

59
o Respect and cherish
o Love and comfort
o Pledge, promise, or commit
o Share my life in good times and in bad
o Share with you lifes sorrows and joys
o Share all life has to offer
o I promise to be forever faithful
o I promise to share with you all my love
o I promise to love and comfort you
o I promise to accept and love you
o From this day forward
o Until the end of my life
o Until death do us part

Popular readings you might want to consider are:

The Song of Solomon 2:8-17
Genesis 2:18-24
Psalm 33
Proverbs 5:15-19
Hosea 2:16-21
John 2:1-11
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Galatians 5:22-26
Philippians 2:1-5

To get some additional ideas, go to your local bookstore, library or surf the Internet under wedding vows
or wedding ceremony.

Remember to practice your vows at home until you feel comfortable with the words. Be sure to
speak slowly, clearly and loud enough so your guests can hear what youre saying. If either of
you or your groom gets overwhelmed emotionally, stop, then take a deep breath, smile and keep
going. Everyone will be moved by your reaction and true love.

Other ways to personalize your ceremony:

There are a number of ways that you can add personal touches to your ceremony. The following is a list
of creative ideas:

As guests arrive for the ceremony, hand them roses or candles (for an evening wedding) depending on
your budget.

Include your father in your processional as well as your mother.

Kiss your father on the cheek to part from him as you reach his seat and walk alone to meet the
groom.

Have the groom meet you halfway down the aisle.

Present a rose from your bouquet, first to your mother and then to your new mother-in-law (keep this
as a surprise).

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Carry an item such as a Bible, prayer book, or handkerchief that was carried by your mother or
grandmother.

Give guests a program of your ceremony, listing your wedding party and all of the events for the day.
Guests can take this home as a memento of the day.

If you are having a small ceremony, have the guests join you at the altar.

Change places with the officiant and face your guests instead of having your back to them.

Have a special poem or song sung that you have written or read/sing it yourself.

Have your parents of the whole congregation answer, We do when the officiant asks, Who blesses
this Union or who blesses this marriage.

Have the church bells rung after you say your vows.

Throw birdseed, confetti, or rose petals instead of rice, which can be harmful to birds.

Have guests blow bubbles or use sparklers at an evening wedding.

Release white doves (symbol of love, unity, and devotion) or release Monarch butterflies that are
raised for this purpose (they are shipped overnight to be released at the proper time during the
ceremony).

You and the groom present roses together to the grooms parents, then the brides parents to show
your appreciation for the love, which has brought you together.

Use unity candles to symbolize your joining life as one. There are 3 candles. 2 can be lit before the
ceremony begins or the grooms mother lights one before she takes her seat. The brides mother lights
another before she takes her seat. Then the bride and groom light the middle one after they are
pronounced husband and wife.

The bride and groom drink from the same cup of wine or other beverage, symbolizing their
commitment to share all the future may hold.

Decorating Ideas:

Spray-paint plastic lace bells (available in most craft stores) gold, silver or white. Then tie curling
ribbons at varying lengths to them. Attach a group from the top of each pew and finish with a white
satin bow.

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Ceremony Worksheet

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Prelude:_________________________________________________________________
Processional Order:________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Welcome/Call to Order:____________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Readings or Prayers:_______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Music: (Optional)_________________________________________________________
Wedding Meditation: (additional comments)____________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Declaration of consent:_____________________________________________________
Readings or prayer: (Optional)_______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Introduction to Vows:______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Brides Vows:____________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Grooms Vows:___________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Affirmation by Guests:_____________________________________________________
Exchange of Rings:________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Blessing of Rings: (Optional)________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Pronouncement of the Union:________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Music: (Optional)_________________________________________________________
Recognition of Children:____________________________________________________
Lords Prayer or Prayer of Hope: (Optional)____________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Special acts of celebration:__________________________________________________
Benediction and Blessing:___________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Presentation of the new couple:______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Recessional Order:________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Planning Your Reception

Types of Receptions:

There are various types of receptions:

Morning
Luncheon
Dinner
Tea
Cocktail
Sit-down
Buffet
Food Stations

The type of reception you select will depend on the time and style of your wedding, the number of guests
and your budget.

Morning Reception:

A morning wedding would usually start around 9am or 10:00am. You would probably have a breakfast or
brunch reception that could be served in sit-down or buffet style. For a sit-down breakfast, you may want
to start with fresh juice and fruit, then serve an entre that may include omelets, with rolls or toast. You
may also want to serve coffee and tea. For a buffet breakfast, an assortment of fresh fruits, croissants,
quiches, and rolls with a variety of cold cuts would be nice. Be sure to include coffee and tea. With a sit-
down or a buffet, a wedding cake or pastries should be served. Alcoholic beverages are optional but may
include champagne punch, wine or liquor.

Luncheon Reception:

The lunch reception is similar to the brunch reception. A lunch reception would normally follow a late
morning or high noon ceremony. The food would be served between 12pm and 2 pm.

A lunch reception may be either sit-down or buffet style. Your reception coordinator or caterer will have
suggestions, according to your budget. Sandwiches and cheeses are often served and are inexpensive.
Other popular items are shrimp and salmon but these are more pricey. A sit-down luncheon may begin
with champagne, cocktails and hors dòeuvres while guest go through the receiving line. Once the guests
are seated, a white wine may be served with soup or salad, and then the entre will be served. Serve
coffee or tea with the wedding cake.

Dinner Receptions:

Dinner receptions are normally sit-down, buffet or food station receptions. They usually start between
6pm & 9pm. Most of time hors dòeuvres are served in the first hour with cocktails with a buffet or sit-
down dinner served afterwards. Having a cocktail hour gives people time to go through the receiving line,
and then a buffet or sit-down dinner follows.

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Tea Reception:

Tea receptions are usually held between 2pm & 3:30pm. The basic requirements are tea sandwiches and
other finger foods along with the wedding cake. As for beverages, coffee, tea, or punch are normally
served both with and without champagne and wine. This is the least expensive reception to have.

Cocktail Reception:

Cocktail receptions are usually held between 4pm & 7:30pm. If no dinner is to follow, the reception
should start no later than 5:30pm or 6:00pm. In many cases there is an open bar, depending on the budget.
Normally champagne, wine, punch, or beer is served. Hot and cold hors dòeuvres may be passed out or
set out on buffet tables.

Sit-down Receptions:

Sit-down receptions are where your guests will be served at their tables. It provides more organization
and is easier to get guests attention for the reception activities such as toasting or cutting the cake. A
disadvantage for this type of reception is that is may tend to keep your guests parked at their own tables
for most of the evening and it may be quieter than you may want.

Buffet Receptions:

At buffet receptions, your guests will serve themselves from a round, oblong, or rectangular table with a
variety of food placed around the edges. The tables will be arranged by the available space and the
number of guest you are having. The guests may have assigned seating with place cards or you may
choose to have them sit with whomever they prefer. If you are having a large number of guests, you will
probably need more than one buffet table (one on each side of the room).

Food Station Receptions:

Food station receptions give guests a variety of options to choose from. They consist of smaller tables
placed around the room. In most cased each table will have a different type of food or a different theme.
For example there could be a station of meat carving (beef, ham, or chicken), a pasta station where your
guests could select the items to add (shrimp, mushrooms or peppers) and their own sauce. You may also
have a salad station, or a bread and fresh fruit station. Having this type of reception offers a variety of
food to your guests and promotes mingling of the guests. Decorate the tables with unique flowers or other
type of decorations.

Selecting your menu:

When selecting your menu, be sure to choose what you and your guests would
like. Rely if possible on your caterer who can suggest a variety of items with a
variety of prices fit your particular wedding depending on your number of guest,
style and budget. A good caterer is an expert in menu selection and should guide
you in making choices that will fit within your budget. Use spreadsheet Menu
Planner at the end of this section to help you plan your menu.

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Selecting your beverages:

Depending on the reception location, your budget, and your preference, you should be able to determine
what beverages you would like to serve. Keep in mind people drink more in warm weather and in the
evening. The average person consumes 4 to 5 drinks an evening or 1 per hour.

Its customary to toast the bride and groom at the wedding reception. Champagne is normally used for
toasting but if its not available, you can toast with sparkling cider or ginger ale. Be sure to provide non-
alcoholic beverages as well such as soft drinks or punch. If your reception is being held at a hotel,
restaurant, or club, your beverage will more in likely be supplied by the facility. If you have a small
budget, you might only want to serve champagne punch or a moderately priced wine with dinner. Be sure
to check the type of alcohol available and the cost per drink. You may arrange for a cocktail hour or
have an unlimited open bar for the entire time. However, these 2 options can be very pricey depending on
your budget.

If you opt to provide your own wine or champagne, the facility may quote you a separate corkage fee
per bottle. Some may even charge extra to pour coffee. Also, you will want to check with the Alcoholic
Beverage Control Department regarding rules and regulations governing alcoholic use. You also may
want to check with your insurance agent as most states hold party givers personally liable for any
accidents that ensue from the alcohol served at parties.

If you go through a liquor dealer, they can provide beer, wine and champagne as well as hard liquor. They
can normally provide any brand you request along with the approximate mixes. Their prices are less than
buying through a retail liquor store. Also, they are experienced and can provide advice as to the brands
and quantities within your budget. Most will deliver or bring more than is usually consumed so you wont
run short. You will only be charged for the bottles that are opened. Make sure to count both the opened
and unopened bottles to make sure none have disappeared. Use spreadsheet Menu Planner at the end of
this section to help you plan your beverages and Reception Information Sheet to record the specifics of
your reception.

Planning for seating:

Create a layout or floor plan of the reception site.
Review your response list to get a count of how many guests will be attending.
Work with the caterer or banquet manager to determine how many guests will fit comfortably at
each table (8 to 10 guests per table is normally a comfortable amount).
Determine how many tables you may need and find out how many will be
available. The following are general guidelines for different sizes and
shapes of tables:

54 square table seats 4 people
60 round table seats 8 people
72 round table seats 8 to 10 people
72 rectangular seats 6 to 8 people
96 rectangular seats up to 10 people

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Different types of tables:

Head Table:(Bride & Grooms Table)
Its customary to have a table reserved for the bride and groom and their attendants. The table is often a
rectangular table that has the bride and groom facing their guests with no one seated opposite them. The
bride and groom are seated at the center. The bride sits on the grooms right with the best man on her
right. The maid (matron of honor) is on the grooms left. The bridesmaids and ushers alternate along the
same side of the table. If the group is large, you can make the table into a U-shape or use two large round
tables to seat the entire group.

Parents Table:
Its also traditional to have separate tables for parents, one for the brides parents and one for the grooms
parents. However, if any parents are divorced, do not sit them at the same table but sit them among their
own family and friends. You could also have both sets of parents sit at one table. The brides parents
would sit at opposite ends. The grooms father sits to the right of the brides mother, the wedding
officiant is to her left. The grooms mother sits to the right of the brides father with the wedding
officiants spouse to his left.

Cake Table:
The cake is the centerpiece of the reception and should be placed on a table by itself usually on a round-
skirted table in a well-lit place.

Gift Table:
You will probably have a few gifts that will be taken to the ceremony or the reception. At the reception,
have a specific table set aside to place the gifts on. The table should be located in a space that is not in
anyones way and is safe. Delegate a trusted family member or friend to help place the gifts on the table.
You may also want to ensure that they have some tape to secure any cards to the gifts immediately. Be
sure to assign someone to collect the gifts at the ceremony and take these to the reception. You will also
want to assign someone to take the gifts at the reception to your home or your parents home.

Place cards:

Place cards should be set at the head table or honor tables to avoid confusion or embarrassment. They are
also used at formal or ultra formal weddings to determine who sits where. Review your response list again
and start thinking about who should sit where. Try to create a mix and you may want to group people
together by age, profession, martial status, etc. Be sure to put spouses together and spread family
members out. Write out a table card for each table so you will know where every one will be sitting.
Write the guests name on the front and back end of the card so everyone around the table will know
whom the other guests are.

Use Table Seating Chart and The Reception Seating Chart to determine your seating arrangements
and place cards.

Planning your reception timeframe:

Its a good idea to make a timetable for yourself, your caterer, musicians, and photographer to help
maintain a smooth flow of events. This is especially true when you have a time limit on the location. Most
receptions last from 3 to 5 hours. Below is a sample schedule:

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1
st
Half Hour:
The rest of the wedding pictures are taken.
Music should be started at your reception as guests will start arriving, mingling, and getting
something to drink.

2
nd
Half Hour to an Hour-and-a Half:
Guest book is signed.
Receiving line is formed.
Hors dòeuveres or finger food is passed.

2
nd
Hour:
Buffet is announced or for a sit-down dinner, the wedding party is seated, guests are seated and
all is served.
The best man proposes the first toast.

3
rd
Hour:
Additional toasts or speeches are made.
The first course is cleared from the head table.
The bride and grooms first dance and other dances may follow on the dance floor.

3
rd
Hour and a Half:
The rest of the tables are cleared.
The announcer signifies the cake cutting ceremony.
The cake is cut and served.
The dance music continues.

Last Hour:
The bride throws the bouquet.
The groom throws the garter.
The bride and groom change into their going away clothes.
Rice, birdseed or bubbles are tossed on the bride and groom as they run to their car.
The bar closes.
The musicians stop playing and the guests start to leave.
Parents gather their personal belongings and gifts before leaving.

Receiving and displaying gifts:

Gifts will either be sent to the brides home or will be brought to the wedding or reception. Any gifts that
are brought to the wedding should be taken to the reception so please remember to designate someone to
be responsible for this task.

Although many brides are getting away from displaying their opened gifts, this is really a personal
choice. You may display the opened gifts in your home, however its considered to be in poor
taste to display opened gifts at your reception. You can open them later that night or when you return
from your honeymoon.

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Gifts without cards:

You may receive a gift that was brought to the reception without a card. If there is only one gift
that is accounted for, and then you may be in luck. However, if there are several gifts that are
unaccounted for, you may to do a process of elimination. If several can still not be accounted for
then you can ask friends or family to discreetly find out what the guests you havent heard from
gave you. Keep in mind; asking the guests yourself is inappropriate.

If the gift was sent over directly by the store it was purchased from, you can contact the store to
see if they can be of any assistance in finding out who the giver was. Stores sometimes write
down a code inside the box that designates the store location, date of purchase, and the
salesperson, which may help in determining who sent the gift.

Returning and Exchanging Gifts

If possible, keep the box or tags that may come with the gifts. This will make it a lot easier to
return or exchange duplicate or inappropriate gifts. You will find that most stores are cooperative
and will at least allow you to exchange the gift.

If you have a gift that arrives damaged, its best to notify the store first. You may even want to
take a picture of the box. However, you shouldnt have any problems returning it.

Sending Thank-You Notes

A thank-you note should follow every gift. The note should be sent as soon as possible or
within 2 weeks if the gift was received before the wedding and within 1 month for those received
at the wedding or later.

Its best to keep up with your thank-you notes as gifts are received so youre not overwhelmed
later.

The bride writes most notes but the bride can always enlist the help of the groom to write
notes to his family members or close friends.

The notes should be signed by the couple but can be signed by the bride only if the groom has
been mentioned in the body of the note. The bride should sign with her maiden name if its sent
before the wedding and with her married name after the wedding (unless the bride is keeping her
maiden name).

When thanking a married couple, be sure to address the note to both of them unless the husband
has been mentioned in the body of the note, then its acceptable to address it the wife only.

For joint gifts given by a large group of employees or club members, one thank-you note to the
group would be appropriate. However, if the joint gift was given by your bridesmaids, then an
individual note should be sent to each one of them.

Tips on Writing Thank-You Notes:

Start your note with Dear. If the giver is a group of 4 or more friends such as your co-
workers, address them together, Dear Friends (if it happens to be your bridesmaids, send
them each a note). If its a married couple, address it to both of them, Dear Mr. And Mrs.

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Smith. However, you can address it to the wife only, if you will be mentioning her husband in
the body of the note, Dear Susan.

Next, thank the giver and mention what the gift is: Thank you for the lovely coffee pot you and
Mr. James sent.

For the second sentence, mention how you will use the gift, Tim and I are faithful morning
coffee drinkers and your lovely pot will now be a part of our mornings(if you are given
money, be sure to let the giver know how you will be using it).

For the third or fourth sentence, add a personal thought depending on how well you know the
giver, We are so glad you were able to attend our wedding and we look forward to seeing you
soon.

Close the note by thanking the giver again, Thanks so much again.

Lastly sign the note with what you feel is appropriate and how well you know the giver,
Sincerely, Fondly, Love or With much love. Sign your first and last name when
you dont know the giver well. If you do know them well and you are the bride, sign by
using your maiden name if the gift is received before the wedding and your married name if
its received after the wedding (unless you will still be using your maiden name).

An example:

Dear Susan,

Thank you for the lovely coffeepot you and Mr.
Smith sent. Tim and I are faithful morning coffee
drinkers and your lovely pot will now be a part of
our mornings.
We are so glad you were able to attend our
wedding and we look forward to seeing you soon.
Thanks again.

Sincerely,
Kim Thompson

Planning Reception Activities:

Receiving Line:

Forming a receiving line gives you an opportunity as a couple to greet all of your guests and
receive their congratulations. However, more brides and grooms are opting to exclude the
receiving line from their reception activities since most prefer to mingle with their guests during
the reception by going table by table rather than have their guests wait in a long line. However, if
you have a large number of guests; you may want to include the receiving line in your reception.

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The receiving line normally starts right after the ceremony. If your ceremony and reception are
being held at different sites, the receiving line will be the first activity after your emcee has
announced your arrival at the site. Consider where you will form your line before the reception.
Make sure you will have plenty of room for the guests to move through quickly and to void a
jam.

Forming your line:

The brides mother usually heads the receiving line since the brides parents are normally the
host of the event. The brides father will be next and will stand on the mothers left side. Then
the grooms mother would be next with her husband on her left. However, some men prefer to mingle
with the guests instead standing in the line. Next will be the bride and groom, the matron (maid) of honor,
followed by the bridesmaids. You may opt to have the attendants mingle with the guests instead of
standing in line. This will help the line move more quickly and help keep down the guests chatting. If
one of your parents is deceased, you can have someone else stand in for them as an honored guest. If
either set of parents are divorced, you may want to have the fathers mingle with the guests to prevent a
sticky situation or have them stand in line but not by their ex-spouse.

Receiving line order:

Mother of the Bride
Father of the Bride (Optional)
Mother of the Groom
Father of the Groom (Optional)
Matron (Maid) of Honor (Optional)
Bridesmaids (Optional)

Dos and Donts of the Receiving Line:

Do go over the names of the guest lists so you both will have their names fresh in your mind.
Do thank guests for coming and being part of your day. Smile at everyone, shake hands or to
those you know better, give hugs.
Do introduce guests that your groom doesnt know and vice versa.
Do introduce yourself if neither of you know the guest.
Do keep you guests entertained while in line. Have music playing and serve guests drinks while
in line to help keep them entertained.
Dont wear your gloves while in line.
Dont hold on to your bouquet. Place it somewhere securely until you are finished.

Guest Book:

The guest book has space for all of your guests to sign their names or to write sentimental messages so
that you will have a record of all who attended your grand affair. You can purchase these in stationery
stores or over the Internet. You may want to place your book on a pedestal at the entrance of the reception
or at the end of the receiving line. Brides sometimes choose a friend or relative that could not be part of
the wedding party to stand next to the book and remind guests to sign it.

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Toasting:

Its customary to toast the couple with champagne. If you are not having champagne, then a sparkling
white wine, cider, or ginger ale could be used. Toasting usually begins after the receiving line and after
everyone has received a drink to toast with. The best man is usually the first one to offer a toast to the
bride and groom. He should begin by mentioning his relationship with couple then add a wish for their
future. Once the toast is done, guests should stand if they are seated and hold up the glasses and then
drink to the couple. The bride and groom do not stand or drink when being toasted.

The groom may then thank the best man for the toast then toast the bride, his parents and new in-laws.
The bride may then thank the groom and toast him, her parents, and her new in-laws. You may have other
members of the wedding party that want to toast the couple. Keep the toasts limited to a select few. Once
the toasting is completed, the best man will read any congratulatory telegrams.

First Dance:

Once the receiving line is over your guests may begin dancing. Then immediately before or after the main
course is served; the emcee or master of ceremonies may announce the couples first dance together. The
dance floor is cleared and the bride and groom start their dance. The following is a list of customary
dance formality (however, if any parents are divorced, you may want to skip these dances and just open
the dancing up to all your guests after the first dance is complete):

Bride and Groom
Bride and her Father (Father-daughter dance)
Groom and his mother (Mother-son dance)
Bride and Father-in-law as well as the Groom and Mother-in-law (In-laws dance)
Bride and Best Man as well as the Groom and Matron of Honor

Cutting the Cake:

For a tea or cocktail reception, the cake is usually served after the receiving line and once guests have
their drinks. For a luncheon or dinner reception, the cake should be cut just before dessert. The emcee or
master of ceremonies announces the event. The groom placed his right hand over the brides and together
they cut the first piece. Then the couple offers each other a bite to signify a willingness and pledge to
share their life together. The bride may then offer a piece of cake to her new-in-laws and the groom
should do the same as a thoughtful gesture. The rest of the cake is then cut by friends or a waitress and
served to the guests.

Tossing the Bouquet:

Just before you change into your going away outfit to leave the reception, have all of the single women
gather in a central location to catch your bouquet (if you opted to save your bouquet, you will probably be
tossing a smaller one made up by the florist). The single lady who catches the bouquet is said to be next
in line to marry. Be sure to have your photographer be prepared to take pictures at this time so your
tossing will not be missed.

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Tossing the Garter:

After the bouquet toss, have the emcee or master of ceremonies announce the garter toss. The groom will
proceed in taking the brides garter from her leg (it may be her wrist if you have opted to wear a hand
garter) and then tosses it to the single men. In tossing the garter, the single men are gathered in hopes of
catching the garter, which signifies that they will be the next to marry. Be sure your photographer is
prepared to catch these pictures as well.

Once you have finished planning for your reception, record all of the reception planning information on
form Reception Information found at the end of this section.

Money Saving Ideas:

Have a morning or afternoon reception in which you can serve cake and hor doeveres rather than a
full meal. Also, people tend to drink less in these time periods.

Reduce the size of your guest list by eliminating dates, children of friends, casual acquaintances, and
co-workers.

Have your reception in a garden or at your friends home.

Look into hotel room packages that offer a discount on the bridal suite when the reception is being
held there or when you book a block of rooms for out-of-town guests.

Avoid selecting the most expensive menu items such as lobster, shrimp, crab or steak.

Have buffet food served by the caterers staff, which will prevent guests from taking food that they
probably wont eat or prevent you from running out of food.

Use paper and plastic utensils (plates, cups, and silverware), which may be less expensive than
renting china, silverware and glasses.

Serve non-alcoholic drinks like sparking cider, grape juice or punch. Also you could serve wine only.

Serve chicken or pasta for less expensive entrees.

With an open bar, limit your cocktail hour and then serve wine after that time period. Also, consider
having someone pass around the drinks to avoid guests wasting drinks and then going back to the bar
for more.

Buy liquor and food from wholesalers.

Avoid the middleman and rent equipment directly from rental companies rather than the caterer.

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Ideas:

Have a basket of goodies (delivered, dropped off, or you can put it together yourself) to your wedding
night location. Include champagne, wedding flutes, and other snacks and goodies.

Spread your wedding day joy to others: have your caterer send any leftover food to a soup kitchen or
a needy shelter or have your floral counter pieces send to hospitals and nursing homes.

Add a personal touch to the place settings of the bride and the groom by placing monogrammed flutes
at their setting.

Add flowers, greenery or ribbons to the brides chair to make it special.

To give your decorations a more dramatic effect use great silk floral arrangements like trees or lattice
arches (these can be rented surprisingly affordable prices).

Create a new tradition by topping your cake w/ your parents or new-in-laws cake topper.

Add color to reception tables by placing a large square of gift-wrap in center of each. Add candles in
coordinating colors and different size intertwined w/greenery.

Add photos of wedding portraits of parents, grandparents, sisters and brothers to both sides of your
gift table. On front of each couple add a place card with their names and wedding date.

For a hot summer day, place a decorative paper fan at each place setting.

Place plastic bottles of bubbles personalized with labels of the bride and groom name, and wedding
date at each guests place setting. Have the bubble blown during your dance with the groom or when
you are departing from the reception.

Place a small picture frame with each guests name in calligraphy on a small piece of paper, slide the
paper into the frame and place each of these appropriately at each table. These can double as a place
card as well as a wedding favor.

Place a throwaway camera on each table for guests to take pictures during the reception. Arrange for
someone to collect all of the cameras at end of the reception.

Place a card or a piece of paper at each guests place setting at the table to write a caption at the top to
share a favorite memory they have of you and your groom. Have someone collect these at the end of
the reception to place in a memory box. At an informal wedding, you may want guests that choose to
do so to read their memories aloud.

Place a wedding archway of white lattice (can be rented) at the entrance of the reception room. For an
enchanting entrance to an evening wedding decorate the arch with tiny white lights and white
silk/fresh flowers.

Add birdbaths (borrow or rent from a local nursery) to each side of the main entrance. Fill them with
water and blossoms. Add floating candles to be lit when the sun starts to set.

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For a garden tent, string hundreds of tiny lights across the ceiling for a starry effect.

For a summer wedding add displays of chocolate dipped strawberries for centerpieces at each table.

If you plan on having a receiving line at your reception, have tiny hors doeuvres served to those
standing in line on cocktail napkins printed with your names and wedding date.

Have the best man announce your entrance and lead a round of applause.

Have a trumpet fanfare either live or recorded then have the best man make the announcement.

Make a toast personal to the groom, your parents or your new-in-laws (perfectly acceptable these
days).

74
Menu Planner

75
Number of guests:__________________

Reception Style: o Sit-down o Buffet
o Punch and Cake o Cocktails/Hors doeuvres
Hors doeuvres

Salads

Main Course

Other Dishes

Wedding Cake

Desserts

Beverages

Reception Information Sheet

76
Reception Site:____________________________________________________________
Address:_________________________________________________________________
Site Coordinator;_____________________ Phone:_____________________________
Caterer Contact:_____________________ Phone:_____________________________
Confirmed Date:__________________________ Time:__________to:______________
Room Reserved:___________________________________________________________
Deposit:_____________________________ Due Date:___________________________
Balance Amount:_____________________ Due Date:__________________________
Cancellation Policy:________________________________________________________
Last Date to give headcount:_________________________________________________
Number of guests: Invited:______________________Confirmed:____________________
Type of Reception:

o Sit-Down o Buffet o Cocktails/ Hors deuvers
Reception Cost:

Cost Per Person:_________________________

Food:________________________________

Beverage:____________________________

Total:_______________________________

Number of Confirmed Guests:______________

Cost Per Person:_________________________

Subtotal:_______________________________

(Number of guests x cost per person)
Sales Tax:______________________________

Gratuity:_______________________________

Rental Fee:_____________________________

(Site or Equipment)
Other:_________________________________

Total Cost:_____________________________

Less Deposit:___________________________

Balance Due:___________________________
Table Seating Chart
Head Table Optional Table
Type of table:_______________________________ Type of table:_______________________________
Size of Table:_______________________________ Size of Table:_______________________________
Placement of Table:__________________________ Placement of Table:__________________________
Number of chairs:___________________________ Number of chairs:___________________________
Names:____________________________________ Names:____________________________________
____________________________________ ____________________________________
____________________________________ ____________________________________
____________________________________ ____________________________________
Diagram:

Diagram:
Optional Table Optional Table
Type of table:_______________________________ Type of table:_______________________________
Size of Table:_______________________________ Size of Table:_______________________________
Placement of Table:__________________________ Placement of Table:__________________________
Number of chairs:___________________________ Number of chairs:___________________________
Names:____________________________________ Names:____________________________________
____________________________________ ____________________________________
____________________________________ ____________________________________
____________________________________ ____________________________________
Diagram:

Diagram:

77
Reception Seating Chart
Type & size of table______________________________________________________________________
Number of chairs per table:________________________________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

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Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

79


Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

Table #:___________________________________ Table #:___________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ ________________________________________

80
Selecting Your Invitations

Make your invitations special as they make the first impression to your guests. They set the tone and
should reflect the style of your wedding.

There is a wide variety in types of paper, traditional thick white or ivory, a less formal parchment with
colored printing or a moir or pearlized paper.

Tradition has established guidelines for wording invitations. Although many variations are being used
today. Once wording is determined, then the size and style of lettering is selected. Over-sized or heavy
invitations require more postage. Use Stationery Comparison at the end of this section to compare the
options and prices of different stationers.

Guest List:

Ordering invitations about 3 months before the wedding will allow the time needed for delivery,
addressing, and mailing. Your invitations should be sent out 4 to 6 weeks before the ceremony. You
should start compiling your guest lists along with addressed and phone numbers early. Once the final
budget and number of guests is determined, make a master of those receiving invitations and one for
announcements. List in alphabetical order to save time and save for later use such as your Christmas list.

Remember the general rule again, 20% to 25% of invited guest will be unable to attend. If you were
unable to invite the guests you would have liked due to the space or your budget, you can send out more
invitations when you begin receiving regrets. Send the first invitations early enough to allow the
receipt of the first responses and then get the new invitations out 3 weeks before the wedding.

Who to send the invitations to?

Invitations should be sent to guests on your list, to your fiancs immediate family, your wedding
officiant including his/her spouse, your wedding party and their spouses or dates. If you need to
cut down your guest list, start with business or casual acquaintances, friends your havent seen in
years, friends or family who live long distance and children of friends. If you dont wish for
children to attend, leave the childrens names off of the invitations. Have family members or close
friends mention that you are unable to accommodate children. Its not necessary to invite dates for
single guests. If you decide that you would like to include them and you know their names, etc.,
send a separate invitation addressed to them. Use Wedding Guest List at the end of this section to
generate your guest list.

No matter what religion you are, you may want to send an invitation to the President of the United
States at the White House. You will receive a beautiful response signed by the President and the first lady
blessing your wedding. This is a wonderful keepsake and memento.

If you are Catholic, you can make arrangements with your priest and send an invitation to the
Pope. You will be sent a beautiful Papal Blessing.

Ordering your invitations:

When choosing your invitations, choose a stationer who is knowledgeable about wording and type
styles and who offers a variety of prices and styles to select from.

81

To determine the number to order, keep in mind the following:

One invitation is needed per married couple
One per couples who live together
One for each single person
One for each single persons date (if they are invited)
One for children who are sixteen years or older. If they are younger than sixteen, then they would be
included on the invitation for their family
One for the officiant and his/her spouse, attendants, attendants dates (if invited), and both sets of
parents (for memento)
Order several extras in case of addressing mistakes, for keepsake, and for last minute invites

Printing Processes:

There are 3 types of printing processes. Each of these types varies in price. Ask to see samples of each
type, and then determine which type fits with the scheme of your wedding and fits within you budget.

Engraved Invitations:

Engraved invitations are the most formal and traditional as well as the most expensive. The paper is
pressed into a metal plate causing the letters to be slightly raised.

Thermography Invitations:

Thermography is the most popular today and about half the price of engraved. Its a process that fuses the
ink and powder together on a page to create raised letters that resemble the engraved invitations. Its also a
quicker process and doesnt require plates to be made.

Offset Printing:

This is the least expensive of the 3 types. It looks less formal but there are many ink colors and styles to
choose from. Its a standard process where the ink lays flat on the paper.

Calligraphy:

Calligraphy is an elegant old italic script used to address envelopes. It can be done by hand (by a
calligrapher) or by a computerized machine that creates a perfect script each time. Due to the new
computerized machines and the growth of formal weddings, invitations can also be processed this way.

Proof reading your invitations:

Proof you invitations and stationery carefully when you place your order and when you receive or pick-up
your stationery.

82

Some things to look for when you are proofing:

Is the style and color what your ordered?
Is the type style correct and is the right size?
Are the names correctly spelled with the proper titles?
Does it have the proper date and time of the wedding?
Are the day, date, time and year written out correctly?
Is the address correct?
Is the phone number correct (if included)?
Are the words honour and oclock written out correctly?
Is the spacing correct; do the lines end where they should?
Are there commas between the city and state?
Are the proper words capitalized?
Are the directions correct on any enclosures that list the directions?

Wording Invitations:

Normally the parents of the bride issue the invitations and announcements. However a friend, relative or
the couple themselves may issue the invitation. The one sponsoring the wedding is not necessary the one
paying for it. Use Stationery Wording Worksheet to determining your wording for all of your stationery
needs.

Traditional Wording:

All names (no nicknames), the date, and the time are written out in full (the year may be omitted).
The traditional wording for a religious ceremony would read, the honour of your presence and a
reception card would read, the pleasure of your company.
A response may be written, R.S.V.P, Please respond, Kindly respond or The favor of a reply
is requested.

Sample wording of invitations: See Examples of Invitation Wording at the end of this section.

Addressing and mailing invitations:

Invitations should always be neatly hand written. If you dont have legible handwriting or enough time,
you may want to choose someone else such as your mother or friend to address the invitations. You also
might want to consider a calligrapher but this is a more costly option. Never type your invitations.

On the outside of the envelope you will need to put:

Name
Address (dont forget the zip code)
Return address (an address printed on the envelope looks the nicest and saves time).

For a professional woman or a woman in the military, list her name on a separate line above her
husbands (on an inner envelope she is listed on the same line as her husband: Doctor Taylor and Mr.
Taylor):

Doctor Kim Taylor

83
Mr. John Taylor
On the inside of the envelope:

Repeat the names and if you have invited the children in the household, include their names as well if
they are under sixteen years of age:

Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Susan and Tom
(if they are over sixteen, they should get their own invitation). If there are two children over sixteen,
send only one invitation, then list their names alphabetically).

For a single person:

The single persons name and guest (if the name of the guest is known, they should receive a separate
invitation)

For two people who live together:

Send one invitation

For a woman who has kept their maiden name:

List her as Miss or Ms. Both names are listed on the same line and either one may be listed first.

Formal titles:

Formal titles should be written out (Reverend, Doctor or Captain). Ms., Mrs., and Mr. can be
abbreviated. Street, city, and state names are always spelled out completely. Never abbreviate these.

Placing the invitation in the envelope:

Invitations should be placed with the engraved or printed side facing up. Extra enclosures such as
reception, pew, or at-home cards should be placed next to the engraved side. Do not seal the inner
envelope and its placed in the outer envelope so guests names are seen first when the envelope is
opened.

Postage:

Weigh the invitations first to ensure you have the proper postage on them. You may want to get a
special stamp of romance or love to add a special touch.

84
Other types of stationery:

Response Cards
Ceremony Cards
Reception Cards
Invitation to the reception
Thank-You notes
Pew Cards
Announcements
Ceremony Programs
At-home cards
Maps
Weekend Wedding Programs
Travel Cards
Rain Cards

Response Cards:

Response cards are sent out with your invitations. A self-addressed pre-stamped envelope should
accompany them. Guests return this card with their names and whether they will be attending.

The favor of a reply is requested
by the tenth day of June
M_______________________________
will ______________________attend.

or

Please respond on or before
the tenth day of June
M_______________________________
will ______________________attend.

Ceremony Cards:

A ceremony card is enclosed when a few select guests are invited to the ceremony. They are also invited
to the reception to which all guests are invited.

Formal Ceremony Card:

Mr. and Mrs. Steven Huntley
request the honor of your presence
Saturday, the seventh of July
at half past six oclock
New Salem Missionary Baptist Church
Columbus, Ohio

85

Informal Ceremony Card:

Ceremony
at half past six oclock

Reception Cards:

Reception cards are enclosed when all guests are invited to both the ceremony and the reception but the
ceremony and reception are being held in different locations or only a select number of guests are invited.
It should be of the same paper and type style and is generally half the size of the invitation. You may want
to include directions or a map on the back of the card.

Informal Card would read:

Reception
Immediately following the ceremony
Hilton Hotel
5019 East Town Street
Columbus

Formal Card would read:

request the pleasure of your company
At half past six oclock
Hilton Hotel

R.S.V.P.
Columbus, Ohio

86

Invitation to the Reception:

If the ceremony is small or just for family and the reception guest list is larger, invitations are issued to
the reception, with a ceremony card enclosed. The card would read:

request the pleasure of your company
At the wedding reception of their daughter
Krystal Ann
And
Mr. Brett David Foster
At half past six oclock
Hilton Hotel
Columbus, Ohio
R.S.V.P.
Please respond
Columbus, Ohio

Thank-You Notes:

You will probably want to order your thank you notes at the same time as your invitations.

Types of thank you notes to order:

Folded card with name or monogram imprinted on the front of the card
A folded piece of stationer
Packaged or boxed cards

Make sure to order enough and your may want order extras in case of errors or mistakes. Send your notes
out as soon as you start receiving your gifts to avoid being overwhelmed with the process later and to be
courteous.

Pew Cards:

Pew cards are often used in very large weddings to sit close relatives or special guests toward the front in
the reserved section designed by bows or ribbons. The cards may be hand-written or engraved saying
Bride or Grooms section or Within the ribbons. Its mailed after the guest has accepted the wedding
invitation and the guest should hand it to the usher before the guest is seated.

Traditional Pew Card:

Krystal and Brett
Brides Section
Pew Number _____________

87

or

M________________________
Brides Section
Pew Number _____________

Announcements:

Announcements are a nice way to inform those who have not been invited to the wedding of your
marriage. They may not have been included due to budget constraints, they are acquaintances, they live a
long distance away or you already know they wont be able to attend. The recipients are not required to
send a gift. The announcements are mailed the day of or the day after but not before the ceremony. The
time or location of the ceremony and reception is not included but the date is. Use Announcement List
at the end of this section to compile the names and addresses for your announcement list.

Announcement example:

Mr. and Mrs. John Huntley
have the honour of announcing
the marriage of their daughter
Krystal Ann
and
on Saturday, the seventh of July
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
Columbus, Ohio

Ceremony Program:

A ceremony program is a program stating the order in which events will take place during the ceremony.
It lists scriptures, prayers, and songs along with the names of the attendants, vocalists or musicians.

At-home Cards:

At-home cards are optional and are used to inform friends and relatives of your new address and whether
you will be keeping your maiden name. They should be ordered as the same time as the invitations or
announcements. They are normally included with the announcement or sent separately after the wedding.

88

At-home example:

Mr. & Mrs. Thomas Foster
after the seventh of July
5246 Sawmill Road
Dublin, Ohio

or

Mr. Thomas Foster
and
Ms. Krystal Huntley
after the seventh of July
5246 Sawmill Road
Dublin, Ohio

Maps:

Maps are used to aid guests in finding your ceremony or reception location.

Weekend Wedding Programs:

Weekend Wedding Programs inform guest of the activities scheduled for the weekend and ideas
of appropriate attire. It may also include travel or guest accommodations you have made. Use
Weekend Wedding Itinerary to record all of your activities for your weekend wedding.

Travel Cards:

Travel cards are used to inform guest of wedding day transportation that will be used to take
them from their hotel to the ceremony. It can also be used to indicate parking locations.

Rain Cards:

Rain cards inform guests of an alternative location for an outdoor wedding in case of rain.

Money Saving Tips:

Order thermography rather than engraved invitations since thermography is less expensive and it
looks similar to engraved invitations.

Shop around for invitations. Many people are selling invitations out of their homes and are offering
discounts of up to 10% to 20%. It may also be cheaper to order from the mail.

Stay away from over-sized invitations or invitations that need to be mailed in a tube or box as this can
get very expensive.

If your wedding is not extremely formal, you may want to skip extra charges for envelope lining.

89

Order invitations from the mail which is cheaper.

Order more invitations than you think you will need the first time, as having to go back and order
more (you may be charged with another set-up fee) will cost you more money and time.

Dont include separate response card, include the RSVP and phone number on the invitation. This
will save you money as you can eliminate the cost of the card, an additional envelope and return
stamps. It will make the invitation lighter and you may be able to avoid the additional postage.

Ideas:

Have the wording of your invitation embroidered on the front of a small pillow. Trim the pillow with
lace and satin ribbons and then display it in a cabinet or on a bed.

Have your invitation mounted and framed. Display it along with your bouquet in a shadow box.
These can either be hung on a wall or displayed on a table.

Have the wording of your invitation engraved on the lid of a crystal or a silver box. Then display it on
a table in your home. For an added touch you can fill these with potpourri or candy.

Have your invitation painted on a porcelain plate. Display the plate in a China cabinet, on a table, or
hung on a wall.

Save items from your wedding such as an invitation, wedding program, napkin, matchbook and a few
pressed flowers from your bouquet to be arranged in a shadow box either by a professional or if
youre crafty by yourself.

90
Stationery Comparisons
Stationery #1 Stationery #2 Stationery #3

Name:

Address:

Wedding Invitations:
Number:
Printed Envelopes:
Envelope Liners:
Calligraphy

Response Cards
Printed Envelopes

Announcement Cards:
Number:
Printed Envelopes:

At Home Cards:
Number:
Printed Envelopes:

Thank-You-Notes:
Number:
Printed Envelopes:

Miscellaneous:
Napkins:
Matchbooks:
Seating Place Cards:
Programs:

Total:

Deposit:

Deposit Due Date:

Balance Due:

Balance Due Date:

91
Wedding Guest List

92
Invited To RSVP
C-Ceremony Number
Name Street, City, State, Zip R-Reception Attending
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________

Wedding Guest List

93
Invited To RSVP
C-Ceremony Number
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________

Wedding Guest List

94

Invited To RSVP
C-Ceremony Number
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
Stationery Wording Worksheet
Type Style:________________________________ Color Ink:_________________________________
Invitations:_____________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Return address for Envelope:_____________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Reception Cards:_______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Response Cards:________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Address for Response Cards:_____________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Pew Cards:____________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Thank You Notes:_______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Address for Thank You Notes:____________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Napkins/Matchbooks:____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Announcements:________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________

95
Examples For Invitation Wording
Traditional Wording.
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Krystal Ann
to
Nineteen Hundred and ninety nine
at six oclock
Columbus, Ohio
Combined Ceremony and Reception.
You could send a separate response card
instead of adding the RSVP on this
card.
Krystal Ann
to
at six oclock
Columbus, Ohio
Reception
Immediately following the ceremony
Hilton Hotel

R.S.V.P.
25 Swan Lake
Dublin, Ohio 45601
Brides Mother is remarried (host).
Mr. and Mrs. William Taylor
at the marriage of her daughter
Krystal Ann
to
at six oclock
Columbus, Ohio

Brides Father is remarried (host).
at the marriage of his daughter

96

Brides divorced unmarried mother (hosts)
Mother would use her maiden and married
name.
Mrs. Brenda Smith Huntley
at the marriage of her daughter
Krystal Ann
to
at six oclock
Columbus, Ohio
Brides divorced unmarried father (hosts).
Mr. Steven Huntley
at the marriage of his daughter
Brides parents divorced & remarried (co-
hosts.) Mothers name should be first.
Mr. and Mrs. William Taylor
and
at the marriage of
Krystal Ann
to
at six oclock
Columbus, Ohio

Brides parents divorced & not remarried (co-
hosts).
Mrs. Brenda Smith Huntley
and
Mr. Steven Huntley
Krystal Ann

97

hosts).
Informal Invitation-can drop Mrs. & Mr.
Brenda Smith Huntley
and
Steven Huntley
Krystal Ann

hosts).
Depending on relationship can still use Mr. &
Mrs.

Krystal Ann
Brides Stepmother (hosts).
If brides mother is deceased and if the
stepmother raised the bride.
at the marriage of Mrs. Smiths stepdaughter
Krystal Ann

Grooms Parents (host).
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Foster
at the marriage of
Krystal Ann Huntley
to their son
Brett David Foster

Bride and Grooms Parents (co-host).
and
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Foster
at the marriage of their children
Krystal Ann Huntley
and Brett David Foster
Bride and Groom (host).
The honour of your presence
is requested at the marriage of
Krystal Ann Huntley
to
Brett David Foster

98

Contemporary Wording.
Brides Parents (hosts).
We ask only those dearest in our hearts
to join us in celebrating the marriage
of our daughter Krystal to Brett Foster
at six oclock
July seventh nineteen ninety nine
Columbus, Ohio
Steven and Brenda Huntley
Bride and groom (host).
We invite you to join us
in celebrating our love.
On this day we will marry the one
we laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
We have chosen to continue our growth
through marriage, please join
Krystal Huntley
and
Brett Foster
at six oclock
Columbus, Ohio

99
Announcement List

100
Thank
You
Name Street, City, State, Zip Gift Sent
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
_________________________________ _____________________________________ __________ ________
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Selecting Your Bridal Attire

The bride is the center of attention or the centerpiece of the ceremony as she walks down the
aisle. She should be the most beautiful from the beginning of the ceremony to the end of the
reception. The dress you choose will set the level or degree of formality for both the ceremony
and reception. Search for a gown that suits your personal style instead of merely following the trend of
the moment.

The following is a list places where you may find the dress of your dreams:

Bridal Salons: Bridal salons sell custom-made wedding dresses and are normally the first place
brides will go to look for their gowns. Top designers make these gowns with the finest fabrics so
they are not cheap. You may not be able to afford the gowns in the salons but they are a good
place to start and get ideas. To contact a particular designer directly use Bridal Gown Designers
and Manufacturers at the end of this section.

Trunk Shows: Bridal Salons and department stores often hold these for a specific designer or
manufacturer. They bring their latest line of dresses and all of their dresses in that line for brides
to try on. The advantage is if you really like a particular designers styles, you can see all of their
styles not just the ones the stores sales. However, these dresses are not cheap.

Sample Sales: Sample sales are held by larger stores or by designers. They sell gowns that have
previously been tried on by other brides. The advantage is the savings on these gowns could be up
to 50%. The disadvantages of sample sales are the gowns may be dirty since they have previously
been tried on, they are probably only in size 6, 8, or 10 since these are the normal sizes ordered
by a salon or store, or sales of this type may not be sold in your area.

Outlets/Warehouses: Gowns in these establishments may be old or discontinued designs or
designed by unknown designers or companies. The advantage of shopping for gowns in these
establishments is that you may save some money. However, you may have to spend some time
searching for a gown that you will like and they may not be as inexpensive as you might think.

Bridal Shows: Twice a year bridal shows are held in large cities such as New York, Chicago, Las
Vegas, and Dallas. Designers will present their new lines to the media and to bridal shops.

Rentals: You may be able to find a store in your area that rents wedding gowns or you could try
other rental clothing stores. The advantages are you may be able to find a dress in perfect
condition or a dress that has never been worn or rented before. However, all of the dresses will
probably not be in the latest styles or designs.

Seamstress or Couture Shop: You may have found the perfect gown but its way out of your
price range. You can have a seamstress make your dream dress but in a less expensive fabric. Be
sure to price everything out including labor to ensure that it is going to be cheaper than buying the
original. You may have trouble finding a gown or want to have a gown designed exclusively for
you. Be careful, this may end up being a costly venture.

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Shopping for your gown:

Begin shopping for your gown 9 to 12 months before the wedding to allow enough time to search
for your dream dress, have it ordered and have the alterations and fittings for it.

Get ideas on different styles by going through bridal magazines or surfing the Internet (most
bridal salons, designers and manufacturers have Websites that display their latest offerings).

Cut or mark any styles that you like and show these to the stores sales consultant. The sales
consultant will have an idea of what you are looking for and will help you try on the styles that
you like. Review Bridal Fashion Terms and Choosing The Style Thats Best For You at the
end of this section so you will have an insight of what the traditional bridal lingo is and an insight
on the styles that may look good on you.

Find 3 bridal salons that may have what youre looking for. Ask friends, relatives, or your
wedding consultant for recommendations for reputable salons. Use Bridal Attire Comparisons
at the end of this section to compare costs and options as well as Bridal Shopping Record to
keep track of the stores or salons you have visited.

Be sure to a make an appointment first so you will receive full attention and personal service
during your visit.

Allow at least one hour per site.

Make sure the salon or store can handle everything including custom gowns, fittings, and
alterations.

Check to see if the salons carry the designers you like.

Bring along a trusted friend or relative that has similar tastes to your own but try to keep you
group to no more than 4 people.

Bring a strapless bra, hosiery, a slip, and a pair of shoes with the same size heel you plan to wear
on your wedding day.

If possible, fix your hair the same way you will on your wedding day to get the full effect.

Ask whether your gown has any coordinating accessories such as a veil or headpiece and try
these on.

Color and Fabrics:

In regards to color, your dress doesnt have to be stark white. Choose what looks the most flattering on
you and what brings out your best coloring. If you already have a headpiece, try to match the color of
your gown to it. Choose an ivory color for an old fashioned or antique look. Light pastels are more
popular for second weddings.

In regards to the fabric for your dress, it usually changes and is determined by the season. For Spring and
Summer, you would wear lighter fabrics, which weigh less with lighter lace. A few type of fabrics for this

category is :
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Chiffon
Light Weight Satin
Eyelet Lines
Dotted Swiss

For Fall and Winter, heavier fabrics and heavier lace is a more appropriate choice. A few ideas for this
type of fabric are :

Satins
Rich Taffetas
Amoire
Velvet

For a description of more fabrics, review Bridal Fashion Terms at the end of this section.

Gown Sizes:

Most bridal styles are sized smaller than every day dresses. Dont be surprised if you need a size or two
larger than your regular size.

Cost:

The average gown costs between $800 and $1500 and a designer dress can cost thousands of
dollars. The average headpiece ranges between $150 and $300. For shoes the average cost is $50.

Bridal Gown Contract:

Before ordering your gown or making any kind of deposit, make sure the following items are in your
contract:

The design or style number of the dress
Dress specifications ( type of fabric, buttons, lace, etc.)
Date of first fitting, final fitting, and delivery of gown
Total Cost
Breakdown of costs including alterations
Payment schedule: amount and due date of deposit, due date of balance of payment
Method of payment

Ordering your gown:

Take time to think about your gown purchase and really compare dresses before making your selection.
Since wedding gowns are custom made, once you have placed your order, the gown is yours. When you
have found the dress of your dreams, the store will measure your bust, waist, and hips and compare your
measurements with the manufacturers sizing chart and order the size that matches your largest
measurements. Use Bridal Attire Record to keep track of your gown and accessory purchases.

Expect to give a deposit of 50% to cover the cost of the gown. However, make sure your find out about
the cancellation policy before you leave a deposit.

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Alterations and fittings:

Allow yourself at least a month for alterations. Plan for at least 3 fittings: one when the gown arrives, one
to correct mistakes, and one to verify that everything is perfect. Alterations on a dress usually cost extra.
Be sure to find out how much.

Shopping for your accessories:

Shoes:

A pump style shoe is best to wear in silk or satin and can be dyed to match your dress. For a special
touch, you could cover your shoes with matching lace. You may want to consider wearing ballet slippers
depending your height and the grooms height. These can be purchased at some bridal salons, dance
stores, or through mail order. These can also be covered with lace, baby pearls or appliqud roses for an
added touch. What ever style you choose, make sure they are comfortable and the heel is not too high.

Stockings:

Your stockings should be sheer beige, champagne, ivory or white depending on the color of your gown
and shoes. Bridal hose with appliqus or exquisite lace designs are also available.

Gloves:

Wearing gloves is optional depending on the degree of formality and style of your wedding gown. If you
are having a formal wedding and wearing a dress with sleeves anywhere above the elbow, you should
almost definitely plan to wear gloves.

The are no absolute rules about the length of gloves, however the length of the sleeves on your dress
largely determines the best look:

If you are wearing a sleeveless dress---wear gloves that go above your elbow.
If you are wearing a dress with sleeves that end just above your elbow---wear mid-length gloves.
If you are wearing sleeves that end below your elbow---wear short gloves.
If you are wearing long sleeves---dont wear gloves.

Your gloves will look best if they fit well. You will need to try them on to determine your glove size but
youll probably find that your glove size is the same as your dress size. Gloves that are the size stretch to
fit are often sized in small/medium/large. However, whatever the sizing, select a pair that fits snugly at
the wrist.

Pick gloves in whatever materials that most complements the fabric of your gown depending on the time
of day, season and formality of the wedding. The most popular now are silk for late summer and matte
cotton for fall. Also, since you are probably only going to wear the gloves once, it may make since to
wear a nylon pair. These are more affordable and they tend to drape better than expensive gloves.

Most formalwear styles are available in a range of white/off-white/ivory shades. If you cant find a
perfect match to your gown, opt for a pair slightly lighter than your gown to prevent your hands from
looking as if they were dirty. If you are wearing color, have the gloves dyed to match the color of your
gown. These suggestions apply to your bridal party as well.

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If you choose to wear gloves, you will either need to remove your glove during the ring exchange portion
of the ceremony or create a break away glove.

Removing your glove:

If you opt to remove your glove during this part of the ceremony, create at least a half an inch of space at
the tip of each finger, gather the empty fingertips into the palm of your right hand and slide the glove
right side out. Practice removing the glove before the big day and practice putting the glove back on over
your ring. If you are wearing mid-length gloves, you may wish to remove the right glove as well. If you
will be wearing long gloves, you should remove both. Hand your gloves to the maid (matron) of honor.
After the exchange of rings and when the maid (matron) of honor hands you back your bouquet, she can
hand you back your gloves as well. As mentioned above, if you have short gloves, your can put your
glove back on over your ring. However, with other lengths, you may want to carry your gloves
underneath of your bouquet so you wont be exiting with one glove on and one off.

Break Away Glove:

Make a cut or undo the seam underneath the left ring finger so it can be exposed to receive the wedding
ring. The bridal store where you may purchase your glove may be able to make the cut for you, or you
could find a seamstress or if your crafty you can fix the glove yourself. This will probably ruin the glove,
so keep this in mind before you do this. At the ceremony, simply slip your left ring finger out to receive
the ring. Slip it underneath and inside the glove fabric so the empty finger isnt flopping around. Replace
it as the ring exchange continues.

Beyond the ring exchange, wear your gloves as follows:

Wear gloves:

During posed photos, unless they feature your ring.
As you enter the ceremony.
During the ceremony, until you receive your ring.
As you enter the reception.
During the receiving line (however this sometimes can be received as impersonal so you may want to
remove your right glove and hold it in your left hand as you greet guests.
During the rest of the reception, except when you are eating or cutting the cake.

Dont Wear Gloves:

When you are eating or cutting the cake.
Anytime you are touching up your makeup or hair.

Jewelry:

Keep your jewelry simple; do not wear watches or heavy bracelets. Wear a single pendant or strand of
pearls if neckline is open. You may want to wear pearl or diamond earrings. Your jewelry could be
something borrowed to fulfill your something old, new, borrowed or blue.

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Selecting the right headpiece:

Your headpiece adds the finishing touch to your bridal ensemble. It should flatter your face and
gown. Try various styles until your find the perfect look. It should also match your dress in color
and coordinate in style and decoration.

If your face is round and full: add height with a tiara, pillbox, or pouf added to back of headpiece.
If your face is long and narrow: add width with a wide brim hat.

Headpiece at reception:

Consider having a removable veil with snaps or velcro to provide easier movement or change into a
smaller hairpiece like a bow, banana clip comb decorated with flowers, pearls, or ribbons. Make sure your
hairstyle will work well with both headpieces. For a description of more headpieces, review Bridal
Fashion Terms at the end of this section

Hairstyles and makeup:

Hairstyles:

If you are planning to have your hair styled professionally for your wedding, be sure to make your
appointment in advance and put your headpiece on to make sure your hairdo will go with your headpiece.
If you hair is long and full consider wearing it back or up and away from your face.

Makeup tips:

Use foundation close to your natural skin color.
Apply powder lightly with a brush to your neck and face to avoid shiny skin.
Line eyes with a brown pencil.
Do not use a frosted liner or eye shadow.
Use brown or black mascara.
Use blush that complements your skin tone and blend upward.
Line your lips with a pencil then apply lipstick with a touch of gloss on your lower lip.
Do a trial run of your makeup before the big day.
Dont try new makeup or skincare a week before your wedding.
Remove stray hairs that fall below the brow.
Define your eyebrows especially for an evening wedding.
To avoid a tired appearance, dont use any pink, light blue, or frosted eye shadow on the eyelids.
Avoid using fuchsia or a hot pink lipstick.
Dont match your eye shadow to your eye color as this diminishes rather than enhances your
natural eye color.

Additional Accessories to shop for:

Garters:

Garters could be your something blue. It you hate to toss it away, buy one to throw to your
attendants and one to keep.

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Hankies or Bibles:

For a nice touch of sentiment, you may want to carry an antique lace hankie or prayer book. This
could be your something blue.

Goblets:

Its nice to have special goblets or personalized toasting glasses. You may want to save these to
use on each of your wedding anniversaries to celebrate.

Ring Pillow:

Ring pillows can be found at many bridal salons or specialty shops that make pillows or you may
be able to purchase these through mail orders companies. There are a number of styles, colors and
shapes to choose from. The shapes are round, square, rectangular or heart-shaped. If you are
crafty you may want to make the pillow yourself and personalize it with your names or the date of
your wedding.

Guest Book:

The guest book is something to look through in years to come. You may want to add your own
touches of lace or ribbon in your wedding colors. Some specialty shops personalize your book by
embroidering your monogram on front in your wedding colors. If you are crafty, you can make
your own unique book. Pick a solid color fabric and have your monogram embroidered in your
wedding colors and place it in the center or at one corner then trim with the same colored ribbon.

Preserving your gown:

You may want to preserve your wedding gown for future use by a family member or friend. Also, you
may want to wear it again in a reaffirmation ceremony. If you are planning to have your wedding gown
preserved, have your mother or your maid of honor take your dress to a reliable cleaner. It should be
cleaned a few days after your wedding to prevent stains from becoming permanent. They will clean it or
if you like have it wrapped and sealed in a special box (vacuum sealed storage box). To prevent the dress
from being damaged by humidity and mildew, make sure they use acid-free paper when storing the dress.

If you want to preserve it yourself, follow the guidelines below:

Never leave it on a hanger or store it in a plastic bag.
Fold the dress with layers of acid-free tissue (contact your local dry cleaners and they can tell you
where you can find the paper).
Wrap it with unbleached muslin, which will allow it to breathe.
Store the dress in a dark dry place such as a cedar chest or lined wooden drawer.
Air it out yearly and fold it in different places before restoring.

Money Saving Ideas:

Consider renting from a local formalwear shop.

Consider a second-hand shop. The dress may need alterations but the savings will still be great.

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Purchase a sample or discontinued gown while there is a sale.

Hire a seamstress or have a crafty friend or yourself make your wedding gown. The price of the
material and labor costs are often cheaper than designer gowns.

Ask about package discounts as some salons may offer a discount on your gown if you purchase
all your gown and the bridesmaids dresses from their shop.

Buy a simple inexpensive gown and have lace, and appliqus added to your gown to make it more
elaborate.

Purchase shoes that can be dyed another color and can be worn again or borrow shoes from a
friend.

Buy a ready to wear dress that needs no alterations.

Order your gown in less expensive fabric.

Avoid expensive design changes such as the train length or style of sleeve.

Keep your alterations to a minimum by ordering the closest size to your largest measurement
from the manufacturers size chart.

Check at bridal salons and consignment shops for a gown that might have come from a cancelled
wedding.

Make your own garter by covering elastic with satin. Add baby pearls and trim with lace.

Make your own bridal purse and add a drawstring.

Make or borrow a ring pillow.

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Bridal Fashion Terms
Silhouettes:

Ball gown: Full skirt with a natural waist and off-of-the shoulders bodice.

Basque: Natural waist with a dropped V-shaped front.

Bustier: strapless with a sculpted bust line.

Empire: A small, cropped bodice with a high waist that falls just under the bust line and a
slender or A-line skirt.

Princess/A-line: Skims the outline of the body. Has vertical seams flowing from the arms
down to the hem of the flared skirt. Shaped like the letter A.

Sheath: Narrow, body-hugging style shaped at the waist.

Lengths and trains:

Floor length: Lightly touches the floor on all sides.

High-low length: Hem falls slightly below the knee or midway between the knee and
ankle in front, ankle- to train-length in back.

Knee length: Just covering the knees.

Midcalf/Ballet length: Reaches just above the ankles.

Cathedral train: Falls 6 to 7 feet from waist.

Chapel train: The most popular kind of train-falls about 3 to 4 feet from waist.

Detachable train: Train that attaches with hooks and loops and can be removed.

Extended cathedral train/Monarch train: Flows 12 feet from waist.

Semi cathedral train: Falls 4 to 5 feet from waist.

Sweep train: The shortest train, barely sweeping the floor.

Fabrics:

Brocade: A heavy material with an interwoven raised design. It looks stiff and regal.

Charmeuse: An even-textured, lightweight, satiny fabric thats glossy.

Chiffon: A sheer, cotton fabric with simple weaving. Its often silk or rayon.

Crepe: A lightweight silk or rayon fabric with a matte texture.

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Embroidery: Threads or ribbon are sewn into the fabric in a decorative pattern.

Eyelet: Open-weave embroidery used for decoration.

Moir: Silk taffeta material thats patterned with ripples.

Organza: Sheer, crisply almost translucent fabric.

Silk-faced satin: A glossy silk fabric with sheen that has a matte finish on the back.

Silk shantung: A silk with a rough, bumpy texture.

Stretch tulle/stretch illusion: Same as tulle, with a bit of elastic.

Taffeta: A smooth, crisp, glossy fabric that has a crosswise rib.

Tulle: Tiny-meshed net of silk, cotton, or synthetics.

Laces:

Alencon: A delicate flat mesh lace with designs on sheer net.

Chantilly: Floral sprays, branches, scrolls on a fine lace background, outlined with silk
threads. Often has rounded, scalloped edges. This is the most delicate and lightweight of
laces.

Duchesse: Lace that often has raised flower patterns.

Guipure: A heavy lace with large designs placed over a thick net.

Schiffli: Man-made lace with embroidered designs worked into the fabric.

Venise: A heavy lace with raised floral designs.

Necklines:

Boat: This neckline gently follows the curve of the collarbone. From shoulder to shoulder
in front and back.

High: A close-to-the-neck collar.

Jewel: A collarless, rounded neckline that circles the base of the throat, just above the
collarbone.

Off-the-shoulder: A neckline that hovers above the bust line, sleeves start below the
shoulders.

Portrait collar: A shawl collar that wraps the shoulders.

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Queen Anne: Rises high at the nape (back) of the neck, then sculpts low to outline a bare
yoke.

Square: Shaped like half of a square.

Sweetheart: Shaped like the top half of a heart.

Wedding band: Same as a high neckline.

Sleeves:

Cap: Very short, fitted sleeves that cover shoulders and tops of the arms.

Fitted: A long narrow sleeve that tapers in size as it reaches the wrist.

Juliet: Long sleeves with a poufed top slightly at the shoulders.

Puff: Short full sleeve gathered into a gentle puff near the shoulders.

Three-quarter: Sleeves covering three-quarters of the arm below the elbow and above the
wrist.

T-shirt: Semi-fitted short sleeves cover the upper arm, much like a T-shirt.

Headpieces:

Bow: Lace, ribbon, or fabric, sometimes trimmed with flowers and/of streamers, and
often worn at the back of the head.

Floral wreath: A ring of fresh, silk, dried, or porcelain flowers that rests atop the head or
mid-forehead. May be adorned with ribbon, streamers, or tulle.

Garden hat: A wide-brimmed crownless hat of straw, lace, satin, or other stiff material.
May be decorated with ribbon, silk flowers, etc.

Headband: A wide strip of fabric-covered plastic that sits across the head from ear to ear.
May be embellished with pearls, flowers, and other decorations.

Juliet cap: A small, rounded cap that fits snugly on the back of the head. Its often
covered with lace of satin and decorated with pearls.

Pillbox: A small, flat-topped, round or oval hat worn on top of the head or slanted on one
side.

Profile comb: A comb decorated with flowers, lace, pearl sprays, etc. Sits on one side of
head, or in back.

Tiara: Crown like headpiece made of semiprecious metal and adorned with rhinestones,
pearls, and other gems. Sits high on top of the head.

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Veils:

Ballet or waltz length: Falls between the knee and ankles.

Birdcage: Falls just below the chin and is gently shirred at the sides. Usually attached to
hats.

Blusher: A loose veil worn forward over the face or back over the headpiece (after the
ceremony). Often attached to a longer three-tiered veil or hat.

Cathedral length: It falls 3 1/3 yards from the headpiece.

Chapel length: Most formal veil. Falls 2 1/3 yards from the headpiece.

Fingertip: Veiling that comes down to touch the fingertips.

Floor length: Brushes the floor.

Mantilla: A laced veil, usually secured to an elegant comb.

Ribbon-edged: Short layers of tulle are banded in grosgrain, satin, or velvet ribbon.

Shoulder length: Multi-layers that brush the shoulders, usually worn with an informal,
ankle-length dress.

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Choosing The Style Thats Best For You
Petite (under 54): a high neckline with an empire waist, a short sleeved, sleeveless dress and
off-the-shoulder neckline will make you look taller.

Tall (over 59): a drop waist with a wide belt and trim or ruffles that wraps around the dress will take
away the all legs look. Also, off-the-shoulder and low necklines with billowy sleeves are also good. Hats
or dramatic veils are striking and will not overpower you.

Average (55 to 58): Youre lucky and can get away with almost anything. You may want to select
something that makes you look either shorter or taller depending on the grooms height.

Slender: you can add a few more pounds by selecting a heavier fabric such as satin, velvet, or moir.
Choose a blousier bodice with a gathered waist and narrow sleeves.

Heavy: a high waistline or an A-line dress with vertical lines would be flattering. Stay away from lacy
ruffles, clingy fabrics or puffed sleeves.

Large busted: a v-shape or high neckline with a keyhole yoke is usually the most flattering. Avoid empire
or cinched waists as they accentuate larger breasts.

Wide Hips: hips can be disguised with a flared shirt or ball gown as well as an A-line dress. Selecting a
gown with bodice and detailed like lace or beading will emphasize you upper body and waist instead of
your hips.

Short waist: a-line or drop waist bodices will help elongate your torso and help mask your real waistline.

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Bridal Attire Comparisons
Bridal Shop #1 Bridal Shop #2 Bridal Shop #3

Name:

Address:

Gown
Designer
Size
Color
Fabric
Train

Headdress
Style
Color
Length

Undergarments
Bra
Slip
Stockings

Shoes
Style
Size
Color
Dyeing Charge

Accessories
Gloves
Garter
Jewelry
Other

Fittings/Alterations

Total Cost:

Deposit:

Deposit Due Date:

BalanceDue:

Balance Due Date:

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Bridal Shopping Record
Number #_______ Item:__________________________________________________
Store:__________________ Sales Contact:______________ Phone:______________
Manufacturer:______________________________________ Style:_______________
Description:______________________________________________________________
Color:_________________ Size:__________________ Cost:__________________
Number #_______ Item:__________________________________________________
Description:______________________________________________________________
Color:_________________ Size:__________________ Cost:__________________
Number #_______ Item:__________________________________________________
Description:______________________________________________________________
Color:_________________ Size:__________________ Cost:__________________
Number #_______ Item:__________________________________________________
Description:______________________________________________________________
Color:_________________ Size:__________________ Cost:__________________
Number #_______ Item:__________________________________________________
Description:______________________________________________________________
Color:_________________ Size:__________________ Cost:__________________
Number #_______ Item:__________________________________________________
Description:______________________________________________________________
Color:_________________ Size:__________________ Cost:__________________
Number #_______ Item:__________________________________________________
Description:______________________________________________________________
Color:_________________ Size:__________________ Cost:__________________

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Bridal Attire Record
Bridal Salon:__________________________________ Phone:________________________

Address:_____________________________________________________________________

Salesperson:__________________________________________________________________

Date Ordered:__________________________________ Date for Pick-up:_______________

Item: Description: Cost: Deposit: Balance Due:
Wedding Gown
Manufacturer
Style#
Headpiece
Manufacturer
Style#
Veil
Manufacturer
Style#
Accessories: Description: Cost:
Slip Picked-up
Bra Picked-up
Hosiery Picked-up
Shoes Picked-up
Garter Picked-up
Gloves Picked-up
Jewelry Picked-up
Hair Acces. Picked-up
Other Picked-up
Total Cost ___________
Alterations:
Alteration Contact:______________________________ Phone:_______________________

Address:______________________________________ Cost:_________________________

Fitting Dates: Fitting Times: Final Date:

Delivery Date: Delivery Time: Home Church Pick-up

Pressing Instructions:___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

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Selecting the Wedding Party Attire

The time of day and the degree of formality suggest the certain parameters within which you want to
select your wedding partys attire. Try to keep the costs within reason or consider paying a portion of the
costs for your attendants as a gift to your party.

Bridesmaids:

The type of fabric and color of attendants dresses are determined by the brides wishes.

The dresses should compliment the brides gown and overall look of the wedding. Use the list
Bridesmaid Gowns Designers and Manufacturers at the end of this section to contact designers of
bridesmaid gowns.

You will want your attendants to feel and look comfortable so not only consider how each will look in the
dresses you choose but you should ask for their opinions on the dresses you choose.

Normally the bridesmaids are dressed alike in similar style and color dresses but the newest trend is
moving toward having different styles in one color or different shades in one style. Another trend that is
growing is separate tops and long skirts instead of one complete dress or gown.

If the bridesmaids shoes will be dyed to match their dresses, they should get their shoes at the same shop
to ensure the color is an exact match.

Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor:

The maid or matron of honor is normally dressed the same as the bridesmaids but just in a different color.
If you choose to dress the maid or matron of honor in the same color as the bridesmaids, you will
probably want her to carry a larger bouquet to set her apart from the others.

Use spreadsheet Bridal Attendants Attire Estimates at the end of this section to compare the costs and
options when looking for your attendants attire. Once you have chosen the attire, use spreadsheet
Attendants Sizes and Measurements at the end of this section to record and keep track of the sizes and
measurements for each attendant.

Mothers:

The bride and grooms mothers dresses should compliment the overall look of the wedding in regards to
style and color.

The bride and grooms mothers should consult with the bride on what each will be wearing, the color,
length of dresses as well as if gloves or hats should be worn.

The growing trend for mothers is gowns with matching shawls or sheer jackets as well as coats. Also,
the latest colors are jewel tones, neutrals, and lots of muted colors.

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Flower Girl:

The flower girls dress may match the bridesmaids dresses in color and length but it should be tied into other
aspects of the wedding. The dresses can be knee-, tea-, or floor length but keep in mind the comfort and practicality
of the dress.

Some wedding dresses have flower girl dresses that match or have similar elements such as beading or
lace. If your flower girls dress is white, you can add a sash to match the color of the maid or matron of
honor or bridesmaid dresses.

For Fall or Winter Weddings, rich fabrics such as velvet or taffeta are perfect. Silks and cottons are good
for Spring and Summer and will help keep the flower girl cool.

For shoes, ballet slippers are normally worn in white or pastel matching the color of the dress. To dress up
the slippers, you can add lace or baby pearls around the opening of the slippers.

If the flower girl is carrying a basket of rose petals, you could add a flowered wreath woven with colored
ribbons to her hair to complement her overall appearance.

Mens Wear:

The groom, best man, ushers, as well as the ring bearer and the fathers normally rent their attire from
tuxedo shops and are normally all dressed alike.

Make sure their attire fits with the formality and season.

If possible, try to rent all their attire from the same shop to ensure they all get the same type of suit.

For evening or winter, the normally colors are navy, black or dark gray. If they will be wearing white or
ivory for a summer wedding, make sure the color matches the white or ivory the bride is wearing.

Use spreadsheet Groom Attendants Attire Estimates at the end of this section to compare the costs and
options when looking for your attendants attire. Once you have chosen the attire, use spreadsheet
Attendants Sizes and Measurements at the end of this section to record and keep track of the sizes and
measurements for each attendant.

Ring bearer or Trainbearer:

Depending on the formality of the wedding, the ring bearer or trainbearers attire is the same or similar to
the groom and his attendants (tuxedo). If its not identical, try to use the same color scheme.

For a less formal wedding, its okay to put the ring bearer or trainbearer in a suit. Traditional colors are
navy or hunter green in satin or velvet or a dark blue jacket, white shorts, with blue/white knee socks. For
summer, you could use a seersucker, sailor or linen suit.

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Fittings and Itinerary:

Fill in the appropriate information for spreadsheets, Bridal Attendants Information Sheet and
Grooms Attendants Information Sheet at the end of this section. Copy the sheets and give the bridal
sheets to your attendants and the groom will give his to his attendants. This way all members of your
party will know when their attire fittings are and what the agenda will be for the rest of the affair.

Money Saving Ideas:

If you are having an informal wedding, consider have the bridesmaids dressed in white

For a less traditional look and for a less expensive option for the bridesmaids, maid/matron or honor
or flower girl, you could check the formal dress section of a better department store or order the dress
from a catalog. The selection could be something they could also wear in the future.

The flower girl could wear a short lacy party dress.

The men in the wedding party could wear suits and ties for a less formal and expensive look.

Order tuxedoes at a shop that provides the grooms tuxedo free or at a discount.

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Bridal Attendants Attire Estimates
Attire #1

Attire #2

Attire #3

Name:
Address:
Maid/Matron of Honor
Color/Fabric
Size
Manufacturer
Style#

Bridesmaids Dresses
Color/Fabric
Size
Manufacturer
Style#

Flowergirls Dress
Color/Fabric
Size
Manufacturer
Style#

Shoes/Stockings
Style
Sizes
Manufacturer
Color
Dyeing Charge

Accessories
Hats
Gloves
Other

Fittings/Alterations
Total Cost:

Deposit :

Deposit Due Date:

Balance:

Balance Due Date:

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Brides Attendants Sizes and Measurements

Brides Attendants and Measurements
Attendants Name
Coat Sleeve Neck
Waist
Inseam Shoe

126
Grooms Attendants Attire Estimates
Estimate #1

Estimate #2

Estimate #3

Name:

Address:

Groom:
Style
Color
Size

Attendants
Style
Color
Size

Ring/Trainbearer:
Style
Color
Size

Fathers:
Style
Color
Size

Shoes:

Accessories:

Total Cost:

Deposit:

Deposit Due Date:

Balance Due:

Balance Due Date:

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Attendants Sizes and Measurements

Grooms Attendants and Measurements
Attendants Name
Coat Sleeve Neck
Waist
Inseam Shoe

128
Bridal Attendants Information Sheet
First Fitting: Date:___________ Time:__________ Final Fitting: Date:___________ Time:_________
Location:______________________________________________________________________________
Check List for Wedding Day:
Dress Shoes Lingerie Hosiery
Gloves Hat/Hair Accessory Jewelry Makeup
Ensure items are complete:
Break in your shoes, if they are new.
Have hair and nails done.
Get plenty of sleep and rest the night before.
Bridal Luncheon:
Date:_____________________________________Time:_________________Phone:________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Address:_____________________________________________________________________________

Ceremony Rehearsal:
Date:_____________________________________Time:_________________Phone:________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Address:_____________________________________________________________________________

Rehearsal Dinner:
Date:_____________________________________Time:_________________Phone:________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Address:_____________________________________________________________________________

Wedding Day:
Arrival Time:_________________________________________________Phone:___________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Where to dress:________________________________________________________________________
Photograph Location:___________________________________________Time:___________________

Transportation:
To the ceremony:______________________________________________________________________
To the reception:_______________________________________________________________________

Other:
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________

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Grooms Attendants Information Sheet
First Fitting: Date:___________ Time:__________ Final Fitting: Date:___________ Time:_________
Location:______________________________________________________________________________
Check List for Wedding Day:
Coat Trousers Shirt Vest/Cummerbund
Suspenders Shoes Socks Studs/Cuff Links
Ensure items are complete:
Have hair trimmed and hands groomed.
Get plenty of sleep and rest the night before.
Bachelor Party::
Date:_____________________________________Time:_________________Phone:________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Address:_____________________________________________________________________________

Ceremony Rehearsal:
Date:_____________________________________Time:_________________Phone:________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Address:_____________________________________________________________________________

Rehearsal Dinner:
Date:_____________________________________Time:_________________Phone:________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Address:_____________________________________________________________________________

Wedding Day:
Arrival Time:_________________________________________________Phone:___________________
Location:_____________________________________________________________________________
Where to dress:________________________________________________________________________
Photograph Location:___________________________________________Time:___________________

Transportation:
To the ceremony:______________________________________________________________________
To the reception:_______________________________________________________________________

Other:
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________

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Selecting The Grooms Attire

Once the ceremony begins all eyes are not only on the bride but both of you as a couple; hence
you will want to choose attire that will make you look your best. In addition, youll want to
wear something that fits your personality, complements your bride, and something that you will
feel comfortable in.

The current trend in mens attire is toward more formal dress. More grooms are choosing a gray or black
satin classic ties and for a special touch are opting for elegant vests and beautiful cuff links. Currently the
number one look is a 3-button black tuxedo.

Shopping for your attire:

You will need to go to a proper tux store, a department store, or a mens specialty shop that
has the knowledge and expertise to help you pick out your attire and has a good tailor on
staff to help you with your proper fit.

Review spreadsheet Styles For The Grooms Attire at the end of this section to gain a better insight on
the looks for formal and ultra formal weddings in the daytime or evening.

Classic looks for your body type:

Tall/slender or medium height/build: (any style of tuxedo or suit is good for your body type).

Jacket: double- breasted looks good for on your body type. To create a great line and to help
make your body seem more muscular: ask for the shoulders to be padded a little more and the waist
to taken in.
Trousers: look best when the legs are slightly fuller than normal with a higher rise.

Tall/Husky/Muscular:

Collar: a shawl collar (smooth, thinner collar without notched lapels) is the right choice. For
a wide face or thin neck, choose a spread collar and a tie that is in proportion with your face.
Jacket: single-breasted jacket is a good choice; avoid a double-breasted jacket. Wear one that is long
enough (your fingertips should reach the bottom of the jacket). Choose short cuffs that
should ride about an inch beyond the jacket sleeve.
Trousers: if you have large or muscular thighs, be sure to get your trouser legs slightly wider.
Accessories: choose a vest over a cummerbund since they look and feel less constricting.

Short/Muscular/Stocky:

Collar: a shawl collar is a good choice. Husky men should avoid wing-tipped collars and very small
ties.
Jacket: choose a single-breasted jacket with the button hitting you around the belt line to make your
torso appear longer and leaner. The jacket should not have a lot of shoulder padding.
Trousers: consider pleated pants, which can be slimming and have your pants angled in the back to
help make your legs look longer. Make the break between the trouser legs and shoes subtle by having
the legs of the trousers cut as low as possible. Also, have them angled a little in the back to help make
your legs look longer.
Accessories: if you are a little heavier, choose a vest over a cummerbund.

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Selecting The Grooms Attire
Short/Thin:

Collar: choose a notched or peak lapel.
Jacket: a single-breasted jacket is a good look for you. If you want to look broader, choose a
double-breasted jacket.
Trousers: you may opt to choose pleated pants with reverse double pleats with the legs breaking just
above your shoes, angling slightly downward in the back.
Accessories: choose smaller bow ties and opt for vests with an elegant understated pattern.

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Styles For The Grooms Attire
Daytime Weddings: Evening Weddings:
Ultra Formal: Ultra Formal:
Item: Classic: Contemporary: Item: Classic: Contemporary:
Coat Grey Cutaway Black Tux or
Tailcoat
Coat Black Full
Dress Tails
Black Tux or
Tailcoat
Trousers Grey Stripped Black Trousers Black Black
Shirt White Wing
Collar
White Wing
Collar
Shirt White Pique
Wing Collar
White Wing Collar
Neckwear Ascot Black Bow Tie Neckwear White Pique
Bow Tie
Black Bow Tie
Cummerbunds
/Vests
Grey Vest Only Black
Cummerbund or
Vest
Cummerbunds
/Vests
White Pique
Vest Only
Black
Cummerbund or
Vest
Pocket Square None Optional Pocket Square None Optional
Shoes Black Black Shoes Black Black
Hosiery Black Black Hosiery Black Black
Boutonniere White or Color White or Color Boutonniere White White or Color

Formal: Formal:
Item: Classic: Contemporary: Item: Classic: Contemporary:
Coat Stroller Tux or Tailcoat Coat Black Peak
Lapel Tux
Notched Tux or
Tailcoat
Trousers Grey striped To match coat Trousers Black To Match Coat
Shirt White Lay-
Down Collar
White Wing or
Lay-Down Collar
Shirt White Wing or
Lay-Down
Collar
White Wing or
Lay-Down Collar
Neckwear Four-In-Hand
Tie
Bow Tie to match
coat or
cummerbund
Neckwear Black Bow Tie Bow Tie To Match
Coat or
Tie/Cummerbund
Cummerbunds
/Vests
Grey Vest Only Vest to match coat
or
tie/cummerbund
Cummerbunds
/Vests
Black Vest or
Cummerbund
Vest To Match
Coat or Tie/
Cummerbund
Pocket Square None To Match
Accessories
Pocket Square Optional To Match
Accessories
Shoes Black Black Shoes Black Black
Hosiery Black Black Hosiery Black Black
Boutonniere White or Color White or Color Boutonniere White or Color White or Color

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Styles For The Grooms Attire

134
Selecting The Flowers

Flowers are an important part of any wedding. They bring color, beauty, and fragrance to your
ceremony and reception. They may also represent a significant part of your wedding costs, some-
times up to 20%.

Consider the season, your overall style, color scheme, your grown, and your attendants attire
when choosing your flowers.

Selecting your Florist:

When choosing your florist, consider one that specializes in weddings and this is experienced and
reliable.
Start interviewing your florist at least 2 to 3 months in advance.
Get recommendations from friends, family, your caterer, hotel, or restaurants.
Ask to look at pictures of other weddings they have done. This will give you a good idea of
their style and what they can create for you.
Discuss with them the type of wedding you are planning, your budget, show them swatches of the
fabric you will be using along with a picture or a sketch of your gown and your attendants gowns. In
addition, bring a list of your favorite flowers or pictures of the type of look you want.
Select a florist that you feel comfortable with. One who listens to you and offers suggestions. Make
sure you have gone over all of the details with them to prevent disappointments later.

Use spreadsheet Questions to Ask The Florist at the end of this section when interviewing florists to
ensure you have asked all of the proper questions.

Choosing your flowers:

Keep in mind flowers that will be in season at the time of your wedding will be easier to get and
less costly than flowers out of season and they may need to be flown in for the occasion.

The following is a list of favorite wedding flowers and their meanings:

Apple Blossoms ------- Good Fortune
Bluebells ------- Constancy
Blue Violets ------- Faithfulness
Carnations ------- Distinction
Forget-me-nots ------- True Love
Gardenias ------- Joy
Lilies ------- Purity and
Innocence
Lily of the Valley ------- Happiness
Orange Blossoms ------- Purity and Fertility
Orchids ------- Beauty
Roses ------- Love
White Daisies ------- Innocence

Use spreadsheet Flower Suggestions found at the end of this section for a more comprehensive list of
flowers and when each are in season.

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List of Floral Arrangements to consider:

Wedding Party:

Bridal Bouquet
Brides Headdress
Maid of Honor and bridesmaids bouquets
Maid of Honor and bridesmaids Headdresses
Flower girls bouquet or basket
Flower girls headdress
Mothers and grandmothers corsages
Grooms boutonnieres
Best Man and ushers boutonnieres
Fathers and grandfathers boutonnieres
Ring bearer and Trainbearer boutonnieres

Wedding Location:

Entrance
Pew ends
Altar
Pulpit or Lectern
Columns
Register signing table

Reception:

Entrance
Dining Tables
Buffet Table
Cake Table

Review spreadsheet Flower Estimates at the end of this section to gain an insight on flower costs.

Flowers for the Wedding Party:

Bridal Bouquet:

The bridal bouquet is one of the most important elements of the brides attire. It will provide the
starting point for all of your wedding flowers. Carrying a bouquet gives the bride something to do with
her hands. The bouquet should not be carried too high and should be low enough so the intricate details of
your gown are visible.

Wedding bouquets come in many sizes, shapes, and colors.

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Size:

The size of the bouquet will depend on how tall you are, your body shape, and the style of the gown you
will be wearing. It will also depend on your personality.

Long slender bouquets are more flattering if you have broad hips or a tiny waist.

A cascading bouquet looks beautiful for large/tall brides.

A small simpler bouquet looks great if you are petite or you are wearing an ornate gown.

A large rounded bouquet looks best with a full- skirted dress.

A streamline bouquet looks best with a slim line dress.

Shape:

Listed below are the most common shapes and styles of bouquets along with a few styles that are
gaining popularity:

Arm Bouquets:

Designed to be held in the middle of the arm. It consists of long-stemmed flowers with a loosely tied
ribbon or bow that is used to hold the bouquet together. The most popular flowers used in this
bouquet are roses and calla lilies.

Cascade Bouquets:

This bouquet is slightly rounded at the top and falls to a point. Its in the shape of a teardrop or a loose
triangle. Its also called a waterfall bouquet. It has become very popular over the last couple of years.

Freeform Bouquets:

As the name implies this style often has no discernible shape. Its usually a looser bouquet that has
flowers or greenery coming out at various angles. An example of this type of arrangement is a spray
bouquet since they usually spray in different directions.

Hand-tied Bouquets:

This is similar to an arm bouquet with the difference being the type of flowers and the presentation. This
bouquet is tied with a ribbon that is often decorated with pearl accents. It can be loosely or tightly tied
depending on your preference. A popular flower used in this style is a rose.

Heart Bouquets:

This type of bouquet was popular in the 80s but is rarely seen these days. It consists of flowers making
up 2 rounded tops and coming down to a point. They are housed in a round bouquet holder. Any extra
space is filled with baby breath or gypsum. The effect is that of a heart shape.

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Nosegay Bouquets:

These bouquets follow the same shape as the round bouquet. However, they are normally smaller and
sometimes include ribbon streamers. They tend to show more trim from the bouquet holder. These are a
popular choice for the bridesmaids bouquets or flower girl bouquet.

Oval Bouquet:

This mixes the cascade bouquet with that of a round bouquet. It has a looser form than the cascade
bouquet and is more rounded.

Round Bouquet:

This bouquet is circular in shape. It is filled with mostly florals but can contain greenery. It holds a large
number of flowers in a compact space. It is held together is a round bouquet holder.

Single Stem:

This is not really a bouquet but normally consists of only one flower. This is a trend that has been
growing in popularity. The most popular flower to carry is the calla lily but a long stem rose is another
alternative to use. Its normally carried the same way as the arm bouquet.

Color:

Traditionally the brides bouquet is made of white flowers with touches of green foliage. The most
popular choices for all-white bouquets are: Lilies of the Valley, stephanotis, white roses, gardenias, and
orchids. Be sure the white of the flowers match perfectly with your white gown.

If you prefer a color bouquet, take in account the color of your maid/matron of honor and bridesmaids
gowns. You may want to use the colors of their dresses or a trim from your own gown to be reflected in
your bouquet. You may want to consider roses, tulips, and peonies, freesia, or gerbera, which come in a
variety of colors. In addition to color, you may want to consider the fragrance of the flowers you will be
using. A few flowers to consider are eucalyptus, rosemary, lilac, or jasmine.

Bridal Headdress:

You may decide to wear flowers in your hair rather than another type of headpiece. This can be made of
fresh or silk flowers. Its usually a crescent shaped circle that fits on the crown or fits like a headband. It
may also be worn along or as a wreath with a veil attached to the back.

Other Bridal Flowers:

Tossing Bouquet:

Normally the bride tosses her bouquet to her single female friends toward the end of the reception.
Tradition has it that the woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to be married. However,
many brides prefer to keep their bouquets and have their florist make a smaller, less expensive bouquet
made specifically for tossing. Discuss this with your florist is this is something you are interested in as
well.

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Going away corsage:

Its sometimes customary for the groom to present a small corsage to the bride to wear while traveling.
This is normally presented before the couple leaves the reception.

Maid/Matron of Honors Bouquet:

The maid of honor or matron of honors bouquet is normally larger and a different color than the
rest of the bridesmaids bouquet to set her apart from the others.

Bridesmaids Flowers:

The bridesmaids bouquets should compliment the bridal bouquet but are normally smaller in size. Their
bouquets are normally identical. The size and color of their bouquets should complement their dresses and
the overall look of the wedding. To personalize their bouquets, you could have a different flower included
in each bouquet that symbolizes your relationship with them.

Flower Girl Flowers:

Most flower girls carry a nosegay bouquet or a small basket of flowers decorated with flowers or
colored ribbons. The basket is filled with rose petals that are scattered in the path of the bride.
If this is prohibited at your ceremony site, you could have her hand a single rose to guests as she
walks down the aisle.

Flower girls often wear a wreath of flowers as a headpiece.

Mothers and Grandmothers:

Traditionally the groom is responsible for providing flowers for the mothers and grandmothers. Be sure to
check to see which type of corsage the mothers and grandmothers would like because many women do
not like to wear corsages.

Also, check to see if a special color is needed to coordinate with their dresses. The colors dont
have to be identical but should be coordinated with the color of their dresses. Gardenias
camellias, white orchids or cymbidium orchids are excellent choices for corsages as they go with any
outfit. If you choose to use lilies, put a protective shield under them as their anthers can
easily stain fabrics.

If the officiant is female, be sure to give her a corsage to reflect her important role in the ceremony. You
may also consider giving other close members such as sisters and aunts corsages as a special touch and
doing so will let others know they are related to the bride or groom.

Groom and members of the male wedding party:

All men traditionally wear a single blossom on their left lapels known as boutonnieres. This includes the
groom, best man, ushers, ring bearer/trainbearers as well as the fathers and the grandfathers of the bride
and groom.

The groom normally wears a larger boutonniere to distinguish him from the other men.

Rosebuds, stephanotis, fressia or miniature carnations are good choices for boutonnieres.

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If the officiant is male, he may also be given a boutonniere to reflect his importance in the
ceremony. You could also include brothers, as this would help them feel more included in
your wedding and this will let the guests know they are related to the bride and groom.

Depending on the ring bearers attire, he may or may not wear a boutonniere. Its appropriate if
hes wearing a suit to a tuxedo but not for knickers and knee socks.

Flowers for the ceremony:

The size and style of the building, the formality of the wedding, the season, the colors you are using, the
cost, and any regulations of the particular site should determine flowers for the ceremony.

Be sure to check if there are any restrictions or policies at your church or ceremony site regarding
flowers.

The purpose of having flowers at the altar or in one location at your site is to direct the visual attention of
the guests toward the front of the site where the bride and groom will be.

The flowers you choose can be as elaborate or simple as you wish. When choosing flowers, select a few
dramatic showpieces that will complement the existing dcor. Keep in mind the dcor of your ceremony
site since many churches or hotels, etc, are already decorated and may not need extra flowers.

If your wedding will be held at a church, you should have at least one arrangement to decorate each side
of the altar. In addition, you may want decorate the front pews with ribbons or flowers to mark the pews
and add color.

If you are having a candlelight ceremony, you may want to use candelabras (a long structure that
holds different amounts of candles and comes in different sizes and shapes). These can be
decorated with flowers or greenery for a dramatic effect.

If your ceremony is outside, you may want to decorate your structure serving as the altar such as a
gazebo or arch with flowers or greenery.

For a Jewish ceremony, vows are said under a chuppah, which is placed at the altar and covered with
greens and fresh flowers.

If your ceremony and reception will take place at the same site, you can use your table centerpieces (for
the reception), on both sides of the altar or place them down the aisles at the ceremony.

Flowers for the reception:

Since you and your guests will be spending more time at your reception than your ceremony, you may
want to use the majority of the flowers you choose for your reception.

Make sure that the flowers you choose fit your style and color schemes.

Many reception flowers are table decorations either arranged in baskets or placed around candles. These
flowers should complement the size of the table and the table linens.

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Tables to decorate include:

Head Table
Guest Tables
Buffet Table
Cake Table
Punch/Beverage Table

Head Table:

The head table is where the wedding party will sit during the reception. This table should be decorated
with a larger or more elaborate centerpiece than the other reception tables. Consider having your
arrangement in a different color or style to set it apart from the others.

Guest Table:

A small flower arrangement may be placed on each table. Keep the arrangements low enough as to not
hinder the conversation among the guests seated across from each other. Avoid using highly
fragrant flowers as their smell may conflict with other aromas.

Buffet Tables:

Depending on the size of the table, consider placing one or two arrangements at each side. Other options
include using fruits or bunches of berries, vegetables or herbs.

Cake Table:

You may want to consider decorating your cake table with flowers since it's often in the central spot of
your location.

If you want to add fresh flowers to your cake, have your florist design the decorations. Remember to use
only non-poisonous flowers or flowers not sprayed with pesticides.

Punch/Beverage Table:

To add color to your punch or beverage table, add an arrangement of flowers or an assortment of greens.

Other Items:

Other items that desire a special floral touch are the cake knife and your toasting glasses since they will
mostly likely appear in your photos.

Cake Knife:

Decorate your cake knife with white satin ribbons or flowers. Consider engraving the cake knife with
your names and your wedding date.

Toasting Glasses:

On the stems of your champagne glasses, tie a small group of white flowers with white ribbons. Consider
engraving the glasses with your name and wedding date.

141
Once you have selected your florist, record all pertinent information on spreadsheet Flower Checklist to
keep for your records. Also, you may want to photocopy this form and give it to the florist to confirm all
details.

Items in the florists contract:

Be sure the following items are listed in the florists contract before you sign it:

Date, times, and locations of your ceremony and reception.

An itemized list of all of the flower arrangements from bouquets to centerpieces with exact names,
amounts, and color of the flowers being used.

Acceptable flower alternatives (in your price range) and unacceptable substitutions in case a specific
type of flower is unavailable on your wedding day.

Arrival times for set-up at the ceremony and reception sites.

Addresses where ceremony flowers (bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages) should be delivered
(home, ceremony site, other?).

The name of the florist who will be on hand during the wedding and the name of
an acceptable substitute.

The cost, payment schedule, and when the final payment is due.

Any sales tax, gratuities, overtime charges, or delivery fees.

The cancellation/refund policy.

Preserving your bouquet:

If you want to preserve your bouquet, you may want to order a tossing bouquet in addition to your regular
bouquet. Moisture is removed from your regular bouquet and then sprayed with a protective solution.
Your bouquet can then be displayed in a shadow box or put under a glass case.

You can preserve your bouquet yourself by placing it in a box and completely covering it with silica gel
or borax for a week.

You also may wish to press your bouquet then have it framed. The process takes about 6 weeks. Start by
separating your bouquet, placing it between newspapers and covering it with books or heavy objects.

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Money Saving Tips:

Limit the number of your attendants so you will only need to purchase a few bouquets.

Consider carrying smaller bouquets or a single flower with babys breath.

Consider using balloons to spice up your reception and to add color.

Use bouquets from your ceremony to decorate the cake or guest book table.

Use the same flowers for both the ceremony and reception (this works better when they are both held
in the same location).

Use fresh flowers in decorate baskets at the altar and to line the aisles.

Use flowers in season or consider using live flowers for expensive out of season flowers (be careful,
sometimes the silk flowers can be more costly than fresh flowers).

Use small potted flowers placed in white baskets.

Consider having your ceremony and/or reception in a garden where you are surrounded by flowers.

Decorate more with greenery to fill large areas.

Rent small trees and cover these with twinkling lights for a more festive look.

Dont plan your wedding close to a holiday since flowers are normally more expensive and scarce at
this time. However, at Christmas most places are already decorated and you may not need to use
many flowers.

Use small votive candles with flowers intertwined.

Use bud vases with one flower in them as centerpieces for each table.

Use votive candles around the walkways or arranged around the tops of the tables.

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Questions to ask the Florist

Do you specialize in weddings?

How long have you been doing flowers for weddings?

May I have a list of your recent wedding flowers?

Are you familiar with our wedding and reception location (s)?

How will the bouquets be assembled?

Where and when will the flowers be delivered? Is there an extra charge for
delivery?

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Flower Suggestions
Year Around Color Shape
Babys Breath White Delicate, tiny flowers
Carnations Many Colors Common, fragrant, inexpensive
Catlaya Orchids White with Pink/Lavender in the center Larger than other Orchids. Expensive
Orchid White in shades of Pink or Lavender Popular and common
Roses Many Colors Bud at the end of a long, thorned stem
Spring
Amaryllis Deep Red. White Similar to a Lily with a long stem
Anemones White. Blue. Red Violet Yellow Similar to Poppies
Babys Breath White Delicate, tiny flowers
Calla Lily White with yellow center Unusual shape with long stems
Catlaya Orchids White with Pink/Lavender in the center Larger than other Orchids Expensive
Daffodils Many Colors Pretty Common
Day Lily Cream, Orange, Red, Yellow Variety of stem lengths
Delphinium White, Rose, Lavender, Blue Long spikes of flowers with lacy foliage
Forget-me-not Blue with Yellow or White Centers Dainty Very Pretty
Gardenias White with dark Green leaves Pretty Very Fragrant
Iris White, Blue, Violet, Yellow, Orange Long stalks, large petals with 2 that fall down a little
Lilac White or Lavender Stalks with many tiny flowers. Fragrant
Lily White or Cream with tinges of Pink/Lavender.
Lily of the Valley White Bell shaped/clustered on a long stem. Fragrant
Orchid White in shades of Pink or Lavender Popular and common
Violets White Blue Purple Tiny flowers Fragrant
Summer
Anemones White Blue Red Violet Yellow Similar to Poppies
Asters White Pink Rose Purple
Bachelor Buttons White Pink Red Blue Look like tiny carnations
Canterbury Bells Blue Pink Purple Shaped like little bells
Chrysanthemum White Yellow Red Comes in many shapes and sizes.
Daisies White. Yellow with yellow centers Popular Flower
Day Lily Cream Orange Red Yellow Variety of stem lengths
Delphinium White Rose Lavender Blue Long spikes of flowers with lacy foliage
Iris White Blue Violet, Yellow, Orange. Long stalks, large petals with 2 that fall down a little
Lily White or Cream with tinges of Pink/Lavender
Roses Many Colors Bud at the end of a long, thorned stem
Stephanotis White Trumpet-shaped
Straw Flowers White. Yellow. Orange. Red Shaped like daisies
Zephyr Lily White Yellow Pink Smaller lily.
Fall
Anemones White Blue Red Violet Yellow Similar to Poppies
Chrysanthemum White Yellow Red Comes in many shapes and sizes
Daisies White Yellow with yellow centers Popular Flower
Day Lily Cream Orange Red Yellow Variety of stem lengths
Delphinium White Rose Lavender Blue Long spikes of flowers with lacy foliage
Zephyr Lily White Yellow Pink Smaller lily
Winter
Amaryllis Deep Red White Similar to a Lily with a long stem
.Chrysanthemum White Yellow Red Comes in many shapes and sizes
Spray Orchid Expensive Long spikes covered with tiny orchid like flowers

145
Flower Suggestions

145
Flower Estimates

Item: Average Cost: Total Cost:
Brides Bouquet $200---$650 __________
Matron (Maid) of Honor Bouquet (s) $65---$275 __________
Bridesmaids Bouquets $65---$275 __________
Flower Girl Bouquet/Basket $45---$175 __________
Flower Girl Headpiece $25---$125 __________
Mothers Flowers $36---$80 __________
Grandmothers Flowers $30---$75 __________
Hostess/House Party $30---$54 __________
Grooms Boutonniere $20---$40 __________
Best Mans/Groomsmen Boutonnieres $18---$24 __________
Ushers and Ringbearers Boutonniere $18---$24 __________
Fathers/Grandfathers $18---$24 __________
Church Flowers $225---$850 __________
Aisle Flowers/Ribbons $100---$225 __________
Reception Buffet Table $300---$1000 __________
Brides Cake Flowers $125---$450 __________
Grooms Cake $50---$125 __________
Head Table $150---$500 __________
Guest Table $50---$400 __________
Miscellaneous $80---$2000 __________
Estimated Total: $1650---$7500 __________

146
Flower Checklist

Item: Description:
(style, color, flower)
Qty: Cost: Total
Cost:
Bride: _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Bouquet _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Brides Tossing Bouquet _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Headpiece _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Going-away Corsage _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________

Bridal Attendants: _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Matron of Honor _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Maid of Honor _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Bridesmaids _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Flower Girl _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Headpiece _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________

Groom and Attendants: _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Grooms Boutonniere _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Best Mans Boutonniere _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Ushers Boutonnieres _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Ringbearers Boutonniere _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Bridal Total: ________

Family: _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Corsage for Brides Mother _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Corsage for Grooms Mother _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Corsages for Grandmothers _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Fathers Boutonnieres _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Other Boutonnieres _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Mothers Roses _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Other Corsages _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Family Total: ________

Helpers Flowers _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Bridal Consultant _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Officiant _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Soloist _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Instrumentalist (s) _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Guest Book Attendant _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Gift Attendant _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Others _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Helpers Total: ________

147
Flower Checklist
Item: Description:
(style, color, flower)
Qty: Cost: Total
Cost:
Ceremony: _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Arch/Canopy _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Candelabra _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Candlelighters _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Altar Floral Sprays _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Pews _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Aisles _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Other _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Ceremony Total: ________

Reception: _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Brides Table _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Parents Table _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Attendants Table _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Guests Table _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Cake Table _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Top of Cake _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Guest Book Table _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Gift Table _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Ladies Powder Room _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Other _______________________________________ ______ _______ ________
Reception Total: ________

Overall Total: ________
Sales Tax: ________
Grand Total: ________

Florist Choice:
Name:____________________________________ Order Date/Deposit:____________________________
Address:__________________________________ Balance Due:_________________________________
Phone/Contact:____________________________ Delivery Date/Time:____________________________

Duties: ______________________________________
Responsible for distributing flowers to bridal party: ______________________________________
Responsible for taking ceremony flowers to reception: ______________________________________
Responsible for taking reception flowers after reception: ______________________________________
To be taken to: ______________________________________
Responsible for having bouquet preserved: ______________________________________
Rental Equipment to be returned to florist by: ________________, picked-up on _________at_____________________

148

Selecting the Caterer

Traditionally refreshments are served after the ceremony. What you choose to serve will be
determined by the time of the reception, the formality of the ceremony, and your budget. Food
and beverage is usually the greatest expense of your wedding. Most people at least serve a
wedding cake, punch, and/or champagne to toast the couple.

Some caterers provide the basic services as well as take care of the details and coordination
including:

Food preparation and serving.
All equipment rentals.
Set-up and clean up.
Liquor and beverages.
Bartenders.
Flowers and other decorations.
Cakes.

If your reception location is a Hotel, Restaurant, or Club:

The caterer normally provides the catering. However be sure to:

Check to ensure they have done other weddings. Ask to see picture and check references.
Meet with the person in charge.
Review the menu selections and services provided.
Taste the food before committing to the location.

If your reception location is a Home, Hall, or Garden:

You may be able to provide a caterer of your choice. Due to the varying caterers services and fees, be
sure to determine what your needs and desires are before you start interviewing them.

Selecting a caterer:

Begin interviewing caterers 6 to 8 months in advance since most sites are reserved in advance and book
up quickly. Use spreadsheet Caterer Comparisons at the end of this section to compare the costs and
services of the caterers. Use spreadsheet Questions to ask the Caterer to ensure you are asking the right
questions and getting the proper information. When interviewing caterers be sure to:

Ask to see pictures of weddings they have done.
Check their references or check with the Better Business Bureau for a report.
Taste their food before signing anything.
Keep in mind you will probably have to leave a deposit in order to reserve you date and time.
Read the contract carefully to be sure it includes everything you agreed on and it states the total
price.

149
Selecting the Caterer

Caterer Fees:

The fee is normally a flat fee based on the number of guests or a per person fee depending on the
type and amount of food provided. A 15% gratuity and sales tax is usually added to the
total so be sure ask if this amount will be added. Most require a 50% to 75% of the money and a
total guest count a week or two before the ceremony. However, dont pay off the balance until
after the reception and only if you were satisfied with what you received.

What the Caterer Contract should specify:

o Day, date and time of reception.

o Address of the wedding site.

o All services included in the fee (cake cutting, coffee pouring, equipment).

o Any additional costs.

o Number of guest (final number to confirmed 72 hours prior to the wedding).

o Number of meals to be served (including meals for vendors).

o Itemized menu including beverages and the method of serving.

o Guidelines for what it to be served and for what time period.

o Number of the serving staff.

o The time catering staff may enter and depart the reception site.

o Time the meal will be served and the duration of the meal.

o Provisions for overtime.

o Clean-up responsibilities and the process.

o Staffs attire for the day.

o Provisions for any special meals.

o Name of catering manager or person assigned to oversee the staff.

o Contact name of the person the catering manager should talk to in the event of a problem.

o Terms of payment.

o Liability insurance.

150
Caterer Comparisons

151
Caterer #1 Caterer #2

Caterer #3
Name:

Address:

Phone:

Food
Hors doeuvres
Buffet
Sit-down
Food Station
Wedding Cake

Beverages
Champagne
Wine
Liquor
Soft Drinks
Punch
Coffee

Service
Waiters
Bartenders
Valet

Equipment
Tables
Chairs
Linens
Others

Decorations
Flowers
Candles
Others

Miscellaneous

Gratuities Included

Sales Tax Included

Number of Hours

Overtime Costs

Cancellation

Deposit Required

%____ Amount_________

$ _____________

_______________hours

$ ____________per hour

Fee________________

Amount_____Date____

%____ Amount_________

$ ______________

_______________hours

$ ____________per hour

Fee________________

Amount_____Date____

%____ Amount_________

$ _____________

_______________hours

$ ___________per hour

Fee________________

Amount_____Date____
Total

$ ____________________

$ ____________________

$ ____________________
Questions to ask the Caterer

152
What type of service would be best for my budget and the number of guests (buffet or sit
down dinner)?

What type of food do you recommend?

What it the cost per person?

If rental equipment is needed (tables, chairs, serving pieces), will you supply these?

Would it be less expensive to handle the rental items myself and if so, can you recommend a good
rental company?

Do you provide linens and if so, is there an additional charge?

Will I be able to choose the colors of the linens?

Do you supply glasses, plates and silverware? Is there an additional charge?

Do you provide the wedding cake and if not, is there a cake cutting fee?

Do you provide the grooms cake and if not, is there a cake cutting fee?

Do you make flower arrangements, provide decorations or music?

What type of beverages do you provide?

Will you charge extra to pour the coffee?

What is the cost per drink (liquor) and is it cheaper to provide our own?

Do you charge a corkage fee per bottle if we provide our own wine and champagne?

Can we go over the table locations and seating arrangements ahead of time?

Do you handle the clean up or the rental returns?

Will you personally handle and attend my reception? If not, what is the name of the person who
will?
Questions to ask the Caterer

153

Do you require a guaranteed number of guests and if so, what is the last date I can give you a final
guest count?

When will you provide the final per person cost?

What is the payment policy and what is the deposit to hold the date?

What is your refund or cancellation policy?

Do you charge a gratuity and if so, what is the percentage and is it included in the total price?

Do you provide food for the photographer, videographer, or musicians?

Will you pack the top tier of the wedding cake and do you pack a to-go snack for the newlyweds?

154

Selecting The Photographer

There are two things that will remain as reminders of your special day; your memories and your
photographs. Memories last forever, make sure your photographs do too. Be careful in choosing your
photographer and make sure that he/she is professional, competent, and has good ethics. Keep in mind
photographers have no formal licensing requirements, they only need to take pictures for a fee.

Selecting your photographer:

Start looking for a photographer 6 to 9 months before your wedding since many good
photographers are in demand, especially in the summer months.

Ask for recommendations from family and friends as well as your caterer, florist, and clergyman.

Bridal fairs are also good places to see the work of various photographers and get the names of
those whose work you like.

Once you have several recommendations, place a call to the different photographers to determine if
they specialize in weddings , if they are available on the date of your wedding, how long they have
been in business, how they obtained their qualifications, and what their philosophy is regarding
wedding photography.

Make appointments with several photographers to see their work and interview them. Be sure that
they specialize in weddings. Use spreadsheet Questions To Ask The Photographer and
Photographer Estimates at the end of this section to interview the photographers.

Ask to see sample albums or proofs from a recent wedding. Be sure to look at one complete
wedding coverage. Found out who the people are in the picture, if they personally photographed the
wedding, and if you can call these people for a reference. Also, look to see if the pictures:

o Have good clarity and color.
o He/she paid attention to detail.
o He/she captured the personality of the bride and groom as well as the emotions of the day.
o Is creative with various poses.
o Uses soft lighting and lenses.
o Uses special effects such as split framing or multiple exposures that make the pictures
interesting.

Consider his/her personality to determine if you will work well together and he/she will make your
guests feel comfortable.

When interviewing the photographer, be sure to ask the cost of each print, cost of albums, travel or
extra fees since fees charged by photographers vary greatly. Most photographers offer wedding
packages that for a set fee include a predetermined number of pictures in various sizes in prints or
in an album. These packages are normally less expensive. Be sure to check if the photographer
offers parents albums.

Ask if the photographer keeps your negatives and if so, are they kept in a fireproof safe in the event
of a problem. Also, ask if your negatives can be purchased now or in the future.

155

Once you have selected your photographer, make sure everything you have agreed upon with him/her is
detailed out in a written contract.

The contract should include:

Date and time of the ceremony and reception.
Time to arrive for photos at ceremony and reception.
Products and services included in the fee.
Name of photographer who will be shooting your wedding.
Name of assistant and back-up plans in case the photographer is sick or unable to make it.
Fees for assistant and role in the photography.
Number of hours the photographer will be shooting the photos for the ceremony and reception.
Overtime charges and reasons for charges.
Photographer and assistants attire at the wedding.
Number and types of proofs, the viewing schedule and final delivery date.
Waiting period before photographer will release negatives.
Period of time which extra prints can be ordered at the quoted price.
Payment schedule (deposits, balances, and due dates).
Method of payment.
Liability insurance.

Be sure if you are planning to send an announcement of your wedding to your newspaper, your
photographer knows to take a black and white portrait of you and the groom and you will need this in an
8x10 print to send to the newspaper.

Taking the pictures:

Have the photographer arrive at least an hour before the ceremony. You may want to have the pictures
taken while you and your attendants are getting dressed as well as while the groom and his attendants
getting ready.

If your ceremony and reception are being held at the same location, you may want to get your posed
pictures taken before the guests arrive. If you dont want the groom to see you before the ceremony, take as
many pictures as you can without the two of you together, then finish after the ceremony.

156
To be sure the photographer knows about all of the photos you would like to have taken, use spreadsheet
Photo Checklist at the end of this section. Photocopy it and give it to your photographer. In addition, use
spreadsheet Photographer Information to record all pertinent details and give this to your photographer as
well.

Portrait Session:

If you are planning to have a formal portrait, the following is a list of items you should take with you:

Your wedding dress
Headpiece (hat or veil)
Wedding shoes and stockings
Undergarments
Gloves (if you are wearing these)
Jewelry
Bible, garter and bouquet (if not furnished by the photographer)

New Trends in Photography:

More couples are having their formal photos taken before the ceremony while their hair and
makeup is fresh. Also this prevents having their guests wait and their photographers rushed.

Couples are still requesting posed shots of their family and friends but the trend is to have more
candid photos and less posed.

Black and white photos are making a comeback and more couples are choosing to have the
photographer shoot in black and white as well as color.

Portraits with backgrounds of mountains, water, or champagne glasses are growing in popularity.

Photography dos and donts:

Do hire a professional wedding photographer
Do ask to see samples of his/her work and price lists
Do check for hidden costs such as charges for proofs
Do take time to plan your photography and discuss your wishes in person with your photographer
Do check with your church or registry office to determine if there are any rules and restrictions
regarding photography
Do set aside enough money in your budget so you can have the quality of photos you want
Dont trust your memory, have everything confirmed in writing
Dont have your uncle take your photos unless he is a bona fide professional
Dont rely on snapshots from relatives and friends

157

Money Saving Ideas:

Use a photographer who works out of his/her home as their overhead is lower and they are able to pass
on savings to you.

Request a less popular time if you can be flexible in your wedding date or time. Depending on the
pricing structure, it may be cheaper to have your wedding shot on a Saturday morning than in the
afternoon or evening when photographers are typically busier.

Check to see if you can order the package without the album and if it would be cheaper to take the
standard album since you may get an album as a wedding gift.

Hire a professional photographer to take pictures of the ceremony but have friends take candid shots
throughout the day.

Have a friend who is an experienced photographer and who has good equipment take all of the wedding
pictures.

Ideas:

Display a few photos of the bride and groom from birth to marriage by mounting these on a wall or
setting them around the room.

Send a photo invitation.

Send a thank you note with your wedding picture on the front or a picture of you opening the guests
present (thank you pictures can be ordered from Kodak).

Order extra pictures for special friends.

Take along a camera on your honeymoon and create a honeymoon album.

Have a friend take pictures of your wedding day with a Polaroid Camera, and then take these with you
on your honeymoon.

Create a pre-wedding album by capturing special planning moments on film. You could include, your
engagement party, showers, trying on your dress, rehearsal dinner, etc.

158
Photographer Comparisons
Photographer #1

Photographer #2

Photographer #3
Name:

Address:

Phone:

Portraits

Engagement
Wedding

Photographer Fee

Number of Hours
Number of Shots

Wedding Album

Number of Pictures
Size of Pictures

Parents Album

Number of Pictures
Size of Pictures

Individual Pictures

8 x 10
5 x 7
4 x 6

Miscellaneous

Total

159
Questions To Ask The Photographer

160
1). Are you a member of Wedding Photographers International? (reflects a
high level of competence and ethics)

2). Will you personally be taking the pictures? (if not, ask to meet the person
who will be)

3). Do you work with an assistant and do you have backup equipment in case
of a problem?

4). Are you familiar with my ceremony and reception site?

5). What are the photo package prices?

6). What are the individual picture prices?

7). Do you offer parents albums and if so, what do you charge?

8). How many hours does your price include?

9). How much time will you need to allow for the formal wedding photos
taken either before or after the ceremony?

10). Will you stay until me and the groom departs? Is there an extra charge if
the reception should last longer than planned?

11). Can I give you a list of special people with whom I want pictures?

12). When will the proofs be ready?

13). How long will the prints take once they have been ordered?

14). Will you sell the negatives or albums?

15). How many years do you keep the negatives and are they stored in a
fireproof safe?

16). What do you normally wear when photographing a wedding? (a tuxedo or
other specified attire?
Photographer Information
Brides Name:___________________________ Phone:_________________________

Wedding Date:___________________________ Time:__________________________

Wedding Location:___________________________________________________________

Reception Date:__________________________ Time:__________________________

Reception Location:___________________________________________________________

Photographer:_____________________________ Phone:_________________________

Assistant:_________________________________ Phone:_________________________

Arrival Time:_____________________________ Phone:_________________________

Location:____________________________________________________________________

Ceremony and Reception Site restrictions and guidelines:_____________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

Appropriate Dress:____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

161
Checklist For The Photographer
Before the Ceremony: Before the Reception:
Bride: The couple together
Bride putting on or touching up makeup Bride with her attendants
Bride putting on garter Groom with her attendants
Bride alone in dress Bride and groom with all the attendants
Bride with mother Bride and groom with honor attendants
Bride with Matron (Maid) of Honor Bride and groom with child attendants
Bride with bridesmaids Bride with her parents
Bride with flower girl Groom with his parents
Bride with ring bearer Both families together
Bride with parents Bride and groom with officiant
Everyone getting their flowers Bride and grooms hands
Bride leaving house Others:__________________________________
Bride and father getting into the car _______________________________________
Others:__________________________________ At the Reception:
_______________________________________ Bride and groom getting out of car
Groom: Bride and grooms entrance
Groom getting ready The receiving line
Groom alone The couple greeting guests in line
Groom with best man Guests signing the guest books
Groom with best man shaking hands or looking at watch Bride and groom receiving toasts
Groom and ushers putting on boutonnieres Bride and groom dancing
Groom with ring bearer Bride and her father dancing
Groom with his parents Groom dancing with his mother
Groom leaving for the ceremony Bride dancing with father-in-law
Others:____________________________________ Groom dancing with mother-in-law
________________________________________ Both sets of parents dancing
________________________________________ Bridesmaids and ushers dancing
________________________________________ Guests dancing
At The Ceremony The cake table
The altar and decorations Bride and groom cutting the cake
Bride and Father getting out of the car Couple feeding cake to each other
Guests arriving Buffet Tables
Ushers escorting guests The Head Table
Grooms parents being seated The parents table
Brides mother being seated The guests tables
Groom and groomsmen at the altar The musicians
The processional Bride tossing the bouquet
Bride and Father coming down the aisle Groom tossing the garter
Giving away ceremony Bride and groom saying goodbye to parents
Bride and groom exchanging vows Guests throwing rice or birdseed
The ring ceremony Decorated car
The kiss Bride and groom getting into car
Bride and groom coming up the aisle Couple looking out window as car pulls off
The recessional Others: _________________________________
Bride and groom after the ceremony _______________________________________
Bride and groom getting into the car _______________________________________
Bride and groom looking out the rear car window _______________________________________
Others:_____________________________________ _______________________________________
___________________________________________ _______________________________________

162
Selecting the Baker
Your wedding cake is the center of your reception and it should look beautiful as well as taste
delicious.

Your cake will either be supplied by the hotel, restaurant, caterer, or by a bakery. Your best bet is to order
your cake from a bakery or from someone that specializes in wedding cakes. You should begin
interviewing bakers 3 to 4 months before your wedding and order your cake 6 to 8 weeks before the
actual date.

Three suppliers to source your cake from:

Caterer or Reception Site
Caterers or reception locations will sometimes provide your wedding cake. However, since
they are not experts in making or designing wedding cakes be sure to ask to see pictures or
taste a cake you may be considering.
They may or may not be limited in the designs they can create.
They usually include the cake-cutting fee in the price while other sources may charge extra
to cut the cake.

Commercial Baker
Mostly commonly used.
They specialize in wedding or special occasion cakes.
They produce cakes in large quantities and while they have a variety of styles and designs to choose
from, they may not be able to accommodate your uniqueness.

Non-commercial Baker
Normally works out of his/her home or may rent a kitchen somewhere.
They specialize in unique creative cakes.
They are normally true artists that love to create spectacular cakes.
The trend to use this type of baker is growing although they may not be as easy to find as the
others.
They may be less expensive due to their low overhead or more expensive due to their unique and
elaborate designs.

Locating a Baker:

The best way to find a bakery is to:
Ask for recommendations from family, friends or a wedding consultant.
Ask reception site coordinators.
Check with your florist or photographer.
Search for pictures for cakes in bridal magazines.
Attend and visit their booths at bridal fairs or shows.

Interviewing Bakers:

You will want to look through bridal magazines for pictures of cakes you like and take these with you
when interviewing bakers. Use spreadsheet Cake Comparisons and Questions To Ask The Baker to
take along with you when you interview the bakers. Be sure to ask to see pictures of wedding cakes they
have already created for other weddings and ask if you can have a sample taste of their cakes. Discuss
with them the style, flavor, icing and filling, size, and shape of the cake as well as the cake set-up.

163
Selecting the Baker
Flavors and Fillings:

A traditional wedding cake has 3 tiers that are either laid on top one another or are separated by columns.

The traditional flavors have been white, yellow or chocolate. However, the trend is to use a variety
of flavors or fillings. The most popular of these flavors are: Carrot, German Chocolate, Chocolate Mocha,
and Chocolate Mousse. These may be frosted with butter cream or freshly whipped cream. You may
consider having tiers of these different flavors or fillings. However, keep in mind that your guests may
want to try more than just one flavor of cake so be sure to order extra so you wont run out.

The following is a brief list of icing and filling options:

Butter Cream:
Most popular frosting for wedding cakes. Its both an icing and a filling that consists of real butter, sugar,
and eggs. It ranges from ivory to a pale yellow.

Dagees:
Gold or silver decorative balls made of candied sugar. They look like BBs.

Gold and silver leafs:
Edible gold and silver used for tinted flowers, leaves, and as final touches on iced cakes.

Fondant:
Icing that is poured in liquid form onto small cakes or rolled out in a sheet, then cut and wrapped around
the cake. Its a perfect surface on which to apply decorations. It holds up well but is not as luscious as
butter cream.

Marzipan:
Ground almond paste that can be rolled like fondant to cover the cake or be used as a base for the fillings
between the layers.

Modeling Chocolate:
White or dark, it can be rolled out like fondant and used to cover the entire cake or decorate a frosted cake
with bouquets of chocolate flowers or other designs.

Gum paste:
Ideal for realistic reproductions of fruits, flowers, and other moldable decorations.

Pulled sugar:
Sugar syrup that is pulled into bow and flower shapes.

Royal Icing:
Egg whites beaten with confectioners sugar and lemon juice, then piped with a pastry tube to make
lace, trellises, or miniature buds. Its very sweet and hardens quickly.

Spun Sugar:
Strands of caramelized sugar thrown to create a veil over a cake. Does not hold up well for a cake you
intend to display for several hours.

Whipped Cream:
Used as either a cake filling or icing. It must be refrigerated.

164
Selecting the Baker

Shapes:

Today there are many cake shapes used for the wedding cake: round, square, rectangle, and heart
shaped. Of these, the round shape is the most popular.

Decorations:

Your cake decorations may consist of fresh flowers or greenery, ribbons, edible leaves; flowers shaped
from icing or molded sugar. Flowers should mirror your bouquet makeup or table centerpiece. If you will
be using fresh flowers make sure that they have been grown specifically to be eaten. If not, use the
flowers only as a garnish around not on top of the cake since the flowers may have been sprayed with
pesticides. Crystal or porcelain cake tops have replaced the plastic bride and groom decorations. These
can be heavy so ensure that your baker has anchored these down into the cake. Fruit such as berries,
grapes or pears dipped in egg whites and covered with sugar is another option for decorating the top of
the cake as well as using the couples newly shared surname piped onto the border of each tier.

Displaying your cake:

Your cake should be displayed in a well-lit area and in full view of your guests. It should be displayed on
its own table decorated with flowers or greenery.

Prices:

Prices for your cake will normally be calculated per number of servings. Prices can range from $1.50 for a
simple cake from a local bakery to $15.00 from a non-commercial baker with an elaborate design. Unless
the reception site is providing your cake, be sure to ask what the cake delivery and set-up fee will be
along with any cake cutting fees. The cake-cutting fee is normally charged for each slice of cake they cut.

Ordering your cake:

When ordering your cake, keep the following items in consideration:

Order the cake 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding.
Leave a deposit and be sure to get the receipt.
Have a signed contract in hand listing all the particulars such as the day of the wedding, time of cake
delivery, along with the style, flavor, icing, filling, size and shape of the cake. In addition, the
location of delivery, the total price including extras and the balance due.

Saving the top layer of the cake:

Normally the top layer of the cake is saved and to be eaten on your first wedding anniversary. If this is
something you will want to have done, be sure to have this layer of the cake removed before the cake is
cut. Have the layer securely wrapped and immediately frozen. An alternative is to order a small cake of
the same flavor for your first anniversary.

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Selecting the Baker

Grooms Cake:

Having a grooms cake in addition to the wedding cake is an old Southern Tradition. Its usually a dark
fruitcake or a chocolate-layered cake made in a variety of shapes representing the grooms favorite sport
or hobby. The cake is either cut into pieces and placed in boxes for your guests to take home or its cut and
served along with the brides cake. Whether you have a grooms cake or not is totally your preference.

Money Saving Ideas:

Decorate your cake with fresh flowers or borrow a cake topper.

Borrow or rent a cake knife and serving set.

Purchase toasting glasses through the mail or borrow them.

Order a small cake to be displayed and additional sheet cakes to be stored in the back. Then, after
you and the groom have cut the cake on display, it can be whisked away in the back to be sliced
out of sight along with the sheet cakes.

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Baker Comparisons
Baker #1

Baker #2

Baker #3
Name:
Address:

Cake:
Size:
Shape:
No. of Tiers:

Cake Flavors:
Filling Flavors:
Icing Flavors:
Decoration:
Grooms Cake:
Total:
Wedding Cake:

Grooms Cake:

Stand Rental:

Knife/Server:

Deposit Due Date:

Balance Due Date:

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Questions To Ask The Baker

Questions to ask:

How long have you been baking wedding cakes?

May I see photos of some of the cakes you have done for other weddings?

Will the cake be frozen or fresh?

Do you have a specialty cake?

How many flavors or fillings do you offer? Which of these do you
recommend?

Are tasting samples available?

What will be the cost per serving?

Do you make Grooms Cakes?

How far in advance should I place my order?

How will the cake be delivered?

Will there be a delivery or set-up fee?

Where will the cake be assembled and what will it be assembled on?

Is there a cake pillar or plate rental fee? If so, is this fee refundable upon the
return of these items? When must they be returned?

Will there be a charge for slicing the cake? (normally charged per slice)

Will a cake cutting knife be provided? (if not, you will need to purchase or
rent one yourself)

What is your payment and cancellation policy?

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Selecting the Wedding Music

The music you use for your ceremony and reception creates the atmosphere. Using special songs will
make your wedding uniquely your own. The music should be determined by you and your groom,
keeping in mind the type of guests attending, your budget, and any ceremony or reception site restrictions.

Normally there are two types of music played, a softer more romantic music for the ceremony and
entertaining or dancing music for the reception. In some cases the same musicians may play for both
types. This is more common if the wedding and the reception are held at the same place. An alternative is
to have one set of musicians /organist or soloist for the ceremony and another group to play for the
reception.

Ceremony Music:

Before you make any definite music arrangements, you should check with the church or synagogue to see
what restrictions they may have.

The music should start about a half-hour before the ceremony begins, usually instrumentals to set the
mood.

Just after the mother of the bride is seated, a solo is sung to let the guests know the processional is about
to start.

The processional will begin with an instrumental or sometimes a solo that has a good beat.

Once the attendants reach the altar, the music, which announces the bride, is played, commanding
everyones attention as youre escorted down the aisle.

One or two songs may be played during the ceremony; any more would be too many.

Finally there is the recessional, which should be more upbeat and have a slightly quicker temp.

Reception Music:

The reception music can be of a variety of types depending on the mood you want to set at particular
times. You may want something a little softer for the first hour during the receiving line or cocktails and
then have the tempo pick up as the evening goes on. The types of musicians you may have range from an
individual such as a pianist to a small combo of mixed instruments to a larger orchestra of 8 to 20 people.

Locating musicians:

Music can add or distract from the success of your wedding and reception so select your musicians
carefully. Ask friends, relatives, caterers, and wedding consultants or look through the local yellow pages
to locate your musicians. If your reception will be held in a hotel or restaurant, the manager may be
helpful in your selection. Use spreadsheet Music Estimates and Questions To Ask Bands or DJs
found at the end of this section to record your comparisons and to ask the proper questions. Make sure to
interview a few groups before making a final decision. Ask to hear them play at one of their events or
view one of their videos if possible. Select musicians that can play a variety of music. Discuss the fee,
how many hours they will play, how many and how long their breaks will be, and what they will wear.
Check to see if they have recorded music, which can be played during the breaks. Also, make sure there
are enough electrical outlets for their needs.

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Make your musical arrangements as far in advance as possible. Its a good idea to make a list of songs
you would like played and give it to the bandleader. Review spreadsheets Music for the Ceremony and
Music for the Reception to come up with a list of songs. Try to have a good mix of fast and slow songs.
The bandleader may be able to help you arrange and select the appropriate songs.

Also, go over the timing of the important announcements, grand entrance, first dance, cutting the cake,
and throwing the bouquet and garter.

Give the musicians a deposit to secure the date and get everything agreed upon in a written contract.

Recorded Music:

Recorded music is becoming more popular due to the equipment and the people operating it becoming
more professional. Recorded music is about half the price of live music. It will provide continual music
and the space requirements are minimal. In addition, it provides for a wide variety of music.

Use spreadsheets Ceremony Music Information Sheet and Reception Music Information Sheet to
record your musicians and selections for the ceremony and the reception. Photocopy these and give to all
pertinent parties.

Items to include in Bands contract:

Date and time of reception.
Address of reception site.
Contact name for bandleader to contact if there is a problem.
Where and when musicians will dine and any special storing needs of the band.
Names of all musicians including the bandleader.
If bandleader will be emcee and his/her responsibilities.
Number and types of instruments, number of hours the band will play, frequency and duration of
breaks.
Payment schedule (deposit, balances, and due dates).
Overtime rates and person authorized to request overtime.
Method of payments.

Items to include in the DJs contract:

Day, date and time of reception.
Address of Site.
Contact name: a person the DJ can call with questions before the wedding day and speak to directly
before and during the reception.
If a meal is included (this is a standard practice) where and when the DJ will dine.
What time he or she can set up equipment.
Equipment DJ will use (specifications of the sound system, whether a one or two turntable/CD-player
set-up).
Song list or music guidelines.
If DJ is expected to act as emcee, include responsibilities.
The schedule for the evening.

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Tips to avoid rip-offs:

Always get a contract that specifies the date, the location, time the band or disc jockey (DJ) should
arrive, the number of hours they will play, the number of breaks, the cost and any overtime charges.

List the names of the individual band members and specify the appropriate attire.

Deal with the agent or bandleader. Specify all the names of the musicians you want to play or sing in
the contract stating they will appear in person on that date.

Check in with the band periodically especially if you booked them months in advance to ensure the
band is still together or to discuss any musicians changes.

Money Saving Tips:

Hire a professional DJ instead of a band or have a friend be the DJ using taped music.

Opt for a band with fewer musicians or hire a single performer.

Have the musicians only play for a couple of hours.

Purchase pre-recorded music for the ceremony.

Ask a friend or relative to sing or play at the ceremony or reception.

Ideas:

Make a list of your favorite love songs or ballets that could be used in your wedding and reception.

Make a CD of your favorite love songs and give to guests as favors.

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Music Estimates

172
Number of hours needed:_____ Ceremony:_________________ Reception:__________________
Choice #____________________ Music for: Ceremony Reception
Agent/contact:_____________________________________________ Phone:_____________________
Number of Musicians:_________ Rate per hour:_______________ Overtime rate:_______________
Number of Breaks:__________________________ Length of Breaks:___________________________
Audition Date:_______________ Time:______________________ Location:___________________
Comments:_____________________________________________________________________________

Comments:_____________________________________________________________________________

Comments:_____________________________________________________________________________

Comments:_____________________________________________________________________________

Comments:_____________________________________________________________________________

Questions To Ask Bands or DJs

What types or variety of music do you play?

What is your experience playing for wedding receptions?

Are you insured?

Do you have an upcoming event that I can attend or have a recording of your
band or show that I can listen to?

How many hours could you play?

How many breaks will you take and for how long? Is there a tape or
something that can continue the music while you are taking your breaks?

Will you learn or play particular songs that we will request in advance?

Can you handle last-minute requests from our guests?

Will the DJ or bandleader act as emcee?

What will the DJ or musicians wear?

How many electrical outlets will you be needing?

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Music for the Ceremony
Name of Wedding Song: Vocalist or Group
Butterfly Kisses Bruce Carlysle
Evergreen Barbara Streisand
First Time Ever I Saw Your Face Roberta Flack
Here Comes the Bride (Bridal Chorus) Lohengrin
Lady Kenny Rogers
Loving You Minnie Ripperton
Sunrise, Sunset Fiddler on the Roof Soundtrack
The Hawaiian Wedding Song Andy Williams
The Lords Prayer Malotte
The Wedding Song Peter, Paul, and Mary
Three Times a Lady Commodores
Wedding March Alexander Guilmant
Wedding March (Midsummer Nights Dream) Mendelssohns

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Music for the Reception
Name of the Song: Vocalist or Group
A Love Song Kenny Loggins
A Time for Us Snyder
A Whole New World Peabo Bryson & Regine Belle
All I Ask of You The Phantom of the Opera
And I Love You So McLean
Annies Song John Denver
Arthurs Theme Christopher Cross
As Time Goes By Casablanca
Beautiful Gordon Lightfoot
Beauty and the Beast Peabo Bryson & Celine Deion
Because of You Tony Bennett
Beginnings Chicago
Can You Feel the Love Tonight Elton John
Cant Help Falling In Love Elvis Presley
Chances Are Johnny Mathis
Colour My World Chicago
Endless Love Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
Endless Love Luther Vandross and Mariah Carey
Everything I Do, I Do It for You Bryan Adams
Feelings Morris Albert
Have I Told You Lately Rod Stewart
Hero Mariah Carey
Hopelessly Devoted to You Olivia Newton John
How Sweet It Is(To Be Loved By You) James Taylor
I Could Have Danced All Night Anne Murray
I Just Want to be Your Everything Andy Gibb
I Love You Just the Way You Are Billy Joel
I Love You So McDonald and Chevalier
I Only Have Eyes For You Art Garfunkle
I Will Always Love You Whitney Houston

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I Wont Last A Day Without You Andy Williams
If Tomorrow Never Comes Garth Brooks
In My Life Beatles
In the Mood Glenn Miller
In Your Eyes Peter Gabriel
Longer Dan Fogelberg
Love is a Many Splendored Thing Percy Faith
Love Song Anne Murray
Love Theme From the Godfather Andy Williams
Love Wont Let Me Wait Luther Vandross
Masterpiece Atlantic Star
Maybe Im Amazed Paul McCartney
Misty Johnny Mathis
More Ortolani and Oliviero
My Girl The Temptations
New York, New York Frank Sinatra
On The Wings Of Love Jeffrey Osborne
Only You The Platters
Our Love Carpenters
People Barbara Streisand
Save the Best For Last Vanessa Williams
Sometimes Henry Mancini
Sometimes When We Touch Dan Hill
Sound of Music Rodgers and Hammerstein
Sunshine on My Shoulders John Denver
Thats All Johnny Mathis
The Hands of Time(Brians Song) Michel LaGrand
The Song is Love Peter, Paul & Mary
The Way You Look Tonight Frank Sinatra
Theme From Ice Castles Melissa Manchester

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This is the Day Brown
Through the Eyes of Love Sager/Hamlisch
Through the Eyes of Love Melissa Manchester
Till There was You Beatles
Time In a Bottle Jim Croce
Top of the World Carpenters
Truly Lionel Richie
Try to Remember Harry Belafonte
Unforgettable Nat King Cole
Unforgettable Natalie Cole
Up Where We Belong Joe Cocker
Waiting for a Girl Like You Foreigner
Weve Only Just Begun Carpenters
What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life Michel LaGrand
When a Man Loves A Woman Michael Bolton
When I Fall In Love Letterman
Wonderful Tonight Eric Clapton
You Are So Beautiful to Me Joe Cocker
You Are the Sunshine Of My Life Stevie Wonder
You Light Up My Light Debby Boone
Youre My Best Friend Queen
Youve Got a Friend James Taylor
Youve Made Me So Very Happy Blood, Sweat, & Tears
Your Song Elton John

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Ceremony Music Information Sheet
Ceremony Location:_____________________________________________________________________
Contact Person:____________________________________________ Phone:_____________________
Wedding Date:____________________________________________ Arrival Time:________________
Appropriate Dress:_______________________________________________________________________
Rehearsal Date:______________ Time:______________________ Location:___________________
Instrumentalists: Phone: Fee:
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
Soloists: Phone: Fee:
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
Cancellation Policy:________________________________________ Total Cost:_________________
________________________________________________________ Deposit Paid:_______________
________________________________________________________ Balance Due:_______________
Ceremony Music Selections
Prelude:___________________________________ During Ceremony:___________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
First Solo:_________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
Second Solo:_______________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
Processional:_______________________________ Postlude:__________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
Notes:_________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________

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Reception Music Information Sheet
Reception Location:_____________________________________________________________________
Contact Person:____________________________________________ Phone:_____________________
Reception Date:___________________________________________ Arrival Time:________________
Appropriate Dress:_______________________________________________________________________
Disc Jockey:________________ Phone: Fee:
Agent/Bandleader:____________ ___________________________ ___________________________
Name of Band:_______________ ___________________________ ___________________________
Key Band Members:
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
Cancellation Policy:________________________________________ Total Cost:_________________
________________________________________________________ Deposit Paid:_______________
________________________________________________________ Balance Due:_______________
Reception Music Selections

Newlyweds Arrival:_________________________ Ethnic Dances:_____________________________
Receiving Line:_____________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
First Dance:________________________________ Cake Cutting:______________________________
Dancing or Background Music:________________ Bouquet Toss:______________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
Processional:_______________________________ Garter Toss:________________________________
__________________________________________ Newlyweds Get-Away:______________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ Last Dance:________________________________
__________________________________________ Other:_____________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________
__________________________________________ __________________________________________

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Selecting the Videographer

Video taping a wedding ceremony is becoming as traditional as photographing a ceremony.
About 80% of couples today are choosing to have their wedding and reception videotaped.
Capturing your wedding on video can preserve the memories of your special day for years to come.

Your personal wishes and your budget will determine the type of video that is right for you. Be sure to
check with your ceremony location to determine if there are any restrictions regarding videos.

Sources to finding a good videographer:

Family and friends: View tapes of family and friends to get recommendations and then if you like the
tapes, get the name and phone number of the videographers.

Wedding Photographers: Since photographers and videographers work close together at times, your
photographer may be able to recommend a good videographer. Always meet with a videographer to
review his/her work. Never just accept someone elses opinion.

Ceremony and reception site coordinators: These coordinators may be able to recommend a
videographer based on their past workings.

Bridal Shows: Videographers sometimes have booths along with samples of their work at Bridal
Shows. Get a business card from the ones you are impressed with and follow-up with an interview.

Bridal Magazines: Sometimes larger established companies will run ads in the National or local
bridal magazines. Also, check the top wedding Internet sites for listings of videographers in your
area. You will still want to contact them personally and view their tapes.

Take along spreadsheet Videography Estimates and Questions To Ask The Videographer found at the
end of this section when interviewing videographers to compare the costs and options of each.

Things to look for when youre interviewing a sample tape of a videographer:

Quality of equipment

The equipment must be up-to-date and of high quality. The best cameras to use are professional-grade
camcorders, which cost up to $40,000, with video formats of Hi 8 and DVC Pro tapes.
Videographers who do videotaping as a serious business commonly use them. The camera uses 2
computer chips instead of one to process and separate colors. Hence the picture is much brighter and
clearer. These types of cameras have gotten smaller and are easier to maneuver. Compact disc
technology is the latest advancement that will be coming soon.

A cheaper camera that is sometimes used is a domestic or consumer camcorder that cost up to $2000
to $7,000. These cameras use Super VHS or Pro S formats. The cameras are most often used by the
general public and the quality is not as professional as other cameras.

A third type of camera that you may see is a commercial camera. The quality of the camera is the best
of the 3 types but its not a practical choice for weddings due to its large size. Also, they require the
use of inch tapes instead of used in home recorders. In order for a tape to be viewed in your
home recorder, the inch tape would have to be dubbed down to a tape.

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Picture Quality:

The picture quality should be clear and sharp, not too dark or too light. The color should be accurate.
Look for good, steady use of the camera.

Sound Quality:

You should be able to hear the sound clearly. It should not be muffled, distant, or distorted.

Lighting:

With todays technology, the lighting only needs to be kept to minimum and areas should be
illuminated without harsh lights. Check for people squinting or bright spots of light.

Cameramans ability and experience:

He/she should capture the emotions of the day and all events of the day segmented to tell a story.
Notice how the shots are framed and certain things arent cut out like the brides headpiece. In
addition, notice if the editing techniques used are seamless or does the video look smooth as it moved
from one scene to the next.

Video Types:

Straight-shot Footage:

Shot with only one camera. It starts at the beginning of your ceremony and records through to the end
of the reception. This is a less expensive option. There is no editing. Most videographers may add
your names and your wedding date as well as music to the video. Be sure to ask if there is an
additional fee for this.

Nostalgic Format:

Generally a more expensive option. It needs to be post-edited and requires more editing time. It
normally starts by showing photographs of the couple as children, and then processes to photos of fun
times they have shared together, followed by scenes from the ceremony and reception. It sometimes
includes shots from the honeymoon.

Wedding Documentary Format:

The most popular and most commonly used format. This documents the day by telling a story of how
the events occurred that day. It may start with the bride and groom getting ready, then the ceremony,
the reception, followed with interviews with family and friends, ending with the bride and groom
departing from the reception. The cost for this type of format varies depending on the quality of the
equipment and the editing done.

Use spreadsheet Videographer Information found at the end of this section to record all pertinent
information regarding the videographer you have selected. Then photocopy the it and give a copy to
the videographer to ensure all details have been confirmed.

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Ensure these items are found in the Videographers Contract:

Day, date, time, and location of shoot
Number of hours the videographer will be shooting that day
The editing process to be used
The availability of the master tape for purchase and the cost
The specifications of the final product: story line (if any), length of the edited tape (in hours/minutes),
number of copies, how the tapes will be presented (special engraved leather cases)
Any additional costs
The date the tape will be ready for preliminary viewing
Delivery date of the final tape
The videographers attire on the wedding day
The payment schedule: amount and due date of the deposit, due date of the balance of payment
All guarantees and liabilities

Fees:

Editing, special effect, extra music and the number of cameras affect the pricing used. The cost for
videotaping starts at about $1000 and goes up to $6000.

Things to include in your wedding video:

Baby photos and current photos of you and the groom.

Footage of your parents weddings (if available).

Your love story (a re-enactment showing how and where you met, your first date, and your
engagement proposal).

Dressing preparations for both you and the groom along with your attendants.

Your arrival at the ceremony.

The wedding ceremony.

Informal and group shots outside the church. The bride and grooms departure.

The couples arrival at the reception.

Speeches, cake cutting, the first dance, and interviews with guests at the reception.

The couple saying goodbyes and their departure.

Ideas:

Have a friend help you create or have a pre-wedding tape professionally made. The tape would include
the engagement party, shopping trips, any showers or the rehearsal dinner. If your budget allows, you
could have some of these activities along with your honeymoon edited to be included in your wedding
day tape.

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Selecting the Videographer Selecting the Videographer

184

184
Videographer Comparisons
Videographer #1

Videographer #2

Videographer #3

Name:

Address:

Videographer Fee
Number of Hours
Number of Cameras

Videotape Length

Sound

Editing

Additional Cassettes

Miscellaneous

Total Cost:

Deposit:

Deposit Due Date:

BalanceDue:

Balance Due Date:

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Questions To Ask the Videographer
What type of equipment and recording tapes do you use?

How many cameras do you use to shoot the wedding?

Do you use a wireless microphone in capturing the audio?

Do you do post-editing or in-camera editing?

Do you need any special lighting or electrical outlets?

Do you have back-up equipment in the event of a problem?

May I review an actual video done by the person shooting that may shoot my
wedding?

What is your fee?

How many hours of coverage are included?

Are editing, titles, and music included in the quoted price?

What is the cost of additional tapes?

Are there any additional charges that might be extra (mileage between the
wedding and reception)?

Are you familiar with my wedding and reception locations?

Have you shot a wedding there before?

Will you meet me at the ceremony site ahead of time to go over the best
shooting angles?

When will I receive my final tape?

Will I receive a contract detailing out all of the specifics including: the type of
video coverage to be used, number of cameras, amount and type of editing,
titles, and music to be included in the price, name of camera persons, the date,
time, location and appropriate dress to be worn?

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Videographer Information
Brides Name:___________________________ Phone:_________________________

Wedding Date:___________________________ Time:__________________________

Wedding Location:___________________________________________________________

Reception Date:__________________________ Time:__________________________

Reception Location:___________________________________________________________

Videographer:_____________________________ Phone:_________________________

Assistant:_________________________________ Phone:_________________________

Arrival Time:________________________________________________________________

Location:___________________________________________________________________

Ceremony and Reception Site restrictions and guidelines:_____________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

Appropriate Dress:____________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

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188

Wedding Transportation

You want to make sure your wedding party, out-of-town guests and most of all the groom, arrive at the
ceremony and reception on time. Its the brides responsibility to supply transportation or at least provide
for it.

You will need to determine how many people need transportation, where they need to be picked up and
where they need to be taken to.

Depending on your budget, you may consider renting limousines: for taking you and your father to the
church, maybe taking the entire wedding party, taking you and your groom to the reception, and for your
final departure. A nice touch for the grooms parents who live out-of-town is to send a car for them.

Limousines:

Limousine service is available in most cities and can be found by looking in the local yellow pages. Call 6
to 12 months before the ceremony to compare prices and shop around to see which source will provide
you with what you really want at the least rate.

Interviewing Limousine Companies:

When interviewing Limousine companies, be sure to take along spreadsheets Transportation
Comparisons and Questions to ask for Limousines at the end of this section to compare companies and
options as well as to ensure you are asking the right questions.

In addition, be sure to do the following:

Be sure to ask the price per hour, the minimum number of hours (most require a 2 to 3 hour
minimum) and if there are any package rates. Decide on the options you will need: a TV, the
driver to roll out the red carpet or a bottle of champagne(many companies will do this at no extra
charge if you remember to request it in advance).

Insist on seeing the actual car that you will be using. Copy down the license plate number to be
sure its the same car that shows up on your wedding day. Insist on meeting the driver and make
sure there is an understanding about proper attire.

Keep in mind; most companies will require a credit card number or a deposit in advance to
reserve the date, at which time the balance would be due.

When placing your reservation, you will also have to give them the exact pick-up date, time, the
address, the destination and the approximate length of rental time needed. Be sure to find out
about their cancellation policies.

Get it all in writing in a contract. Make sure it states the correct places, dates, times, specific
vehicle, cost of any extras, the rate, the estimated total cost, amount of the deposit, overtime and
cancellation policy. Make sure its clear what is and is not included in the bill. Drivers usually
receive a 15 to 20% gratuity that is automatically added to your bill.

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A complete list of items to include in the limousine contract:

Date, and time of ceremony and reception.
Hours you have contracted the vehicle (s) and driver (s).
Hourly rate for each vehicle.
Overtime rates and conditions.
Any additional fees and tipping policy.
Location of pick-up and drop-off points.
Number of people to be transported in each trip.
Number and types of vehicles (the license plate numbers should be included for any vehicle that you
have selected).
Liability for accidents and damages.
Payment schedule (amount, deposit, balance of payments, and any due dates).
Method of payments.
Cancellation policy.

Town Car:

If a limousine service for the entire wedding party or out-of-town guests is too costly, you could provide a
less expensive alternative: a town car. This could also be an option for you and your groom since the town
car would provide a much cozier ride and sometimes is just as elegant as the limousine without the costly
price tag.

Van:

Another alternative for your wedding party and out-of-town guests is to rent a van for their use. This
would also come in handy if you expect your guests to consume alcohol.

Ideas for Transportation:

Horse drawn carriages
Horse drawn sleighs
Antique cars
Trolley car/bus
Bus
Boat
Plane/helicopter
Hot air balloon
Fire Engine

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If you are going to use a unique mode of transportation, it makes since to unveil at the reception than the
ceremony where it will be seen by more of your wedding party and guests.

Once you have determined your mode of transportation, use spreadsheet Wedding Day Transportation
at the end of this section to record all of the pertinent information as to who is going to use the
transportation, the pick-up and drop-off locations, the times, and who the driver will be. Make a copy of
this form and pass it out to any and all parties involved.

Decorating ideas for the car:

Write Just Married on a large paper, which can be taped, to the back of the car. The decorators could
also use shoes or tin cans, colored streamers, ribbons, bows, bells or balloons.

191
Transportation Comparisons
Option #1 Option #2 Option #3
Name:
Address:
Phone:
Type of Vehicle:
Number of Vehicles needed:
Vehicles licensed and
insured:

Cost Per Hour:
Minimum number of hours:

Overtime rate:
Gratuity:

Choice for Transportation Company:

Name:_______________________________________________________

Address:_____________________________________________________

Phone/Salesperson:_____________________________________________

Order Date:___________________________________________________

Deposit:______________________________________________________

Balance Due:__________________________________________________

Total Cost:____________________________________________________

192
Questions to ask for Limousines

Questions to ask:

How many vehicles will I need to transport the wedding party from various locations?

What type of model and size of vehicles will be used?

Is the company a member of the National Limousine Association (US only)?

Are the vehicles fully licensed and insured?

What services do the fees include?

Will there be any additional charges?

What are your tipping policies?

What will the driver (s) wear on the job?

How long will we have the vehicle(s) and driver (s)?

Do local liquor laws permit the consumption of alcohol in the vehicle(s)?

What is the payment schedule?

What is the method of payment?

193
Wedding Day Transportation
Transportation to Ceremony Site
Name: Pick-up time: Pick-Up Location: Vehicle/Driver
Bride ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Brides Father ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Brides Mother ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Bridal Attendants ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Groom ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Groom Attendants ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grooms Parents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grandparents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Other Guests ___________________ ___________________ ___________________

Transportation to Reception Site
Name: Pick-up Time: Driver:
Bride and Groom ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grooms Attendants ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Brides Parents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grooms Parents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grandparents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Other Guests ___________________ ___________________ ___________________

Transportation From Reception Site to Hotel, Airport, Home, Etc.
Name Pick-up Time: Destination Vehicle/Driver
Bride and Groom ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grooms Attendants ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Brides Parents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grooms Parents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Grandparents ___________________ ___________________ ___________________
Other Guests ___________________ ___________________ ___________________

194
Setting Up Your Bridal Registry

Gift Registry:

Utilizing a gift registry will help you keep track of your wedding gifts. It will also provide benefits
to both you and your guests. By using a registry, gift givers can be assured that their money is
being spent on something you want or need. Knowing what you exactly need or want will save
your guests time and money when shopping for your gift. It will be helpful when you are trying to
complete your china, silver, and crystal service as your registry will specify your pattern and
what pieces you still need. In addition, it helps to prevent duplicates and helps to avoid
exchanges.

You should open a gift registry 6 to 9 months before your wedding to allow guests time to use
your registry and make their purchases. Dont register too early as some of your selections may
go out of stock or may be discontinued.

You will first need to determine what items you need or want for starting or adding to your
household. Also, determine what type of entertaining you may be doing and determine the colors
you want. Look through magazines or window shop to gain some ideas. Using a checklist can help
you make these decisions and can help keep you organized.

Registries:

Today there are several options to registering your gifts. You can either register at most fine china
and department stores or you can register on-line via the Internet.

Store Registries:

Most fine china and department stores have free bridal registries. They keep a record of the items
you choose as well as the colors, patterns, and quantities. They record your guests purchases so
there are no duplications. They have this information on computers so your registry information
can be obtained at any of their locations. You may want to register at more than one store if your
list is diverse (linens, kitchen, hardware, equipment, etc). If so, it's best to register for different
things at each store or divide the number of items needed between stores.

Make an appointment at a store preferably on a weeknight for a more relaxed experience. Meet
with a sales associate who can help you coordinate your patterns and tailor the size of the list to
the number of guest.

Write down the name of the store where each item is registered and mark the number of items
you want. Register for items in several different price ranges. Smaller, less expensive items make
good shower gifts and larger, more expensive gifts make good wedding gifts or help friends or
relatives who want to purchase a gift together.

Registries on the Internet:

There are many Websites that offer gift registry such as Dillards, Target and Macys. There are
also wedding portals that offer registry such as www.weddings.della.com. Using an on-line
service is convenient to your guests as they can access your list without having to leave their
homes. They can make their purchases and have the item (s) shipped with just a few clicks of the
mouse.

195
Setting Up Your Bridal Registry

Tips for registering on-line:

Find out how they keep track of their registry. Will they keep a record of what gifts were actually
purchased?
Find out how long they will keep your registry list open. Etiquette states that your guests have up to a
year to send a gift. Will your guests have up to a year to purchase a gift?
Check out their policies and refunds. You want to make sure that exchanging or getting a refund for a
duplicate item will not be a problem.
Ask if they can arrange for your gifts to be shipped directly to a certain address. This will save your
guests time by not having to reship the gift once they receive it. It can be wrapped and shipped
directly by the registry company.

Use Gift Registry Checklist on the next page to mark the items you want to include as part of your
registry and cross off any items you dont want to include. Once your choices have been made, let both
families and friends know so they can spread the word. Most friends and relatives of the brides mother or
matron of honor ask where the bride and groom are registered. Its not improper for both the bride and
groom to supply this information if asked directly. Update your checklist as you begin receiving gifts.

196
Gift Registry Checklist
Item Wants Recvd Item Wants Recvd
Formal Dinnerware Formal Flatware
Store:________________ Store:________________
Phone:________________ Phone:________________
Pattern:_______________ Pattern:_______________
Manuf.:_______________ Manuf.:_______________
Dinner Plate Dinner Fork
Luncheon Plate Dessert/Salad Fork
Dessert/Salad Plate Cocktail Fork
Bread/Butter Plate Tablespoon
Buffet Plate Soup Spoon
Cream Soup Bowl Tea/Dessert Spoon
Soup/Cereal Bowl Demitasse Spoon
Fruit Bowl Ice Tea Spoon
Rim Soup Bowl Dinner Knife
Coffee Cup/Saucer Steak Knife
Demitasse/Saucer Butter Spreader
Teacup/Saucer Serving Spoon
Teapot Gravy Ladle
Coffeepot Serving Fork
Sugar/Creamer Cold Meat Fork
Salt/Pepper Shakers Cake Knife
Serving Bowls Pie Server
Serving Platters Salad Set
Gravy Boat Carving Set
Egg Cup Sugar Spoon/Tongs
Other: Lemon Fork
Butter Knife
Silver Chest
Other:

Informal Dinnerware Informal Flatware
Store:_________________ Store:________________
Phone:________________ Phone:________________
Pattern:_______________ Pattern:_______________
Manuf.:_______________ Manuf.:_______________
Dinner Plate No. of Place Settings
Salad Plate Serving Pieces
Bowls Other:
Cups/Saucer
Mugs
Serving Pieces
Other:

197

Holoware/Servers Kitchenware
Store:_________________ Store:________________
Phone:________________ Phone:________________
Pattern:_______________ Pattern:_______________
Manuf.:_______________ Manuf.:_______________
Tea Service Coffee Maker
Coffee Service Coffee Grinder
Water Pitcher Juicer
Champagne Cooler Food Processor
Serving Bowls Blender
Serving Platter Mixer
Trays Microwave
Bread Tray Toaster/Toaster Oven
Service Plates Electric Skillet
Salad Bowl Deep Fryer
Compote Slow Cooker
Tureen Pressure Cooker
Chafing Dish Microwave Cookware
Condiment Dish Ovenware
Cream/Sugar Set Cookware
Salt/Pepper Shakers Bakeware
Dessert Dishes Wok
Gravy Boat Tea Kettle
Candlesticks Hot Tray
Napkin Rings Mixing Bowls
Other: Storage Containers
Kitchen Utensils
Crystal Cutlery
Store:_________________ Cutting Board
Phone:________________ Wooden Salad Bowl Set
Pattern:_______________ Other:
Manuf.:_______________
Goblets
White Wine
Claret
Champagne
Liqueur
Brandy
Cocktail
Ice Tea
Other:

198

199
Casual Glass/Barware Linens
Store:______________ Store:______________
Phone:_____________ Phone:_____________
Pattern:____________ Manuf.:____________
Manuf.:____________ Formal Cloth/Napkins
Goblets Informal Cloth/Napkins
Wine Place Mats
Old-Fashioned Cocktail Napkins
Highball Potholders/Dish Towels
Iced Tea Aprons
Beer Mugs Comforter
Cocktail Bedspread
Fruit Juice Mattress Pad
Other: Pillows
Bed Sheets
Bar Needs Blankets
Store:______________ Electric Blanket
Phone:_____________ Beach Towels
Pattern:____________ Bath Towels/Face Cloths
Manuf.:____________ Guest Towels
Ice Bucket Bath Mat
Wine Rack Rug/Lid Cover
Ice Crusher Accessories
Coasters Others:
Jigger/Tools
Corkscrew/Wine Opener Electronics
Punch Bowl Set Store:______________
Decanters Phone:_____________
Others: TV/Video
Stereo
Decorative Items Camera
Store:______________ Clock Radio
Phone:_____________ Portable TV/Radio
Manuf.:____________ Calculator
Vases Security Devices
Lamps Telephone
Clocks Other:
Pictures
Bookends General
Area Rugs Store:______________
Baskets Phone:_____________
TV Tables Luggage
Accessories Exercise/Sporting Equip
Other: Barbecue
Patio Furniture
Picnic Basket
Tools
Hobbies/Games

200

Gift Giving Ideas

201

Probably the oldest wedding gift tradition is the bride and groom giving gifts to
each other. Choose something that will reflect your commitment and that will last
a long time. Items that can be engraved with your and the grooms initials add a
special touch.

Ideas for the Bride:

Pearls to wear on the wedding day

A charm bracelet that can be added to throughout the years

A crystal perfume bottle filled with her favorite scent

An engraved locket with her engagement portrait

A poem written by the groom enclosed in a frame

A picture frame for her office desk

A jewelry box

Personalized stationery

A watch or other piece of jewelry engraved with the wedding date

A desk clock

A figurine

Ideas for the Groom:

A dress watch engraved with the wedding date

Engraved cuff links

A specialty item for his desk such as a clock

A poem written by the bride enclosed in a frame

A cd or cassette recorded with the couples favorite romantic songs

Gift Giving Ideas

202

Another tradition is for the bride and groom to give gifts to their attendants to acknowledge all of their
help and support. The gifts chosen should reflect the style of your wedding day. A thank-you gift that has
been wrapped with care shows how much you value the recipient's friendship and the role that they are
playing in your wedding. In addition, enclosing a card with a brief note acknowledging your relationship
or monogramming your gifts adds a special touch and enhances sentimental value. The best man and
maid (matron) of honor gifts are often different from the other attendants to reflect the larger contribution
and special roles they play in the wedding. However, you are not bound by this rule and it may be less
stressful to give them all identical gifts. Dont forget your flower girl or ringbearer, as they are important
part of your ceremony. Ideal occasions to present your gifts would be a bridesmaid luncheon, the bachelor
party or during the rehearsal dinner.

Ideas for the Maid (Matron) of Honor and Bridesmaids:

A matching set of necklaces or earrings

A crystal dish or vase

An engraved compact or pen

A figurine

A bracket engraved with their initials

A silver-plated or frosted glass picture frame

A monogrammed address book

Ideas for the Best man and Ushers:

A desk clock

A picture frame

A pocketknife

A paperweight for their office desk

An engraved business card case

A letter opener

A key chain

A money clip
Gift Giving Ideas

203

An engraved pen

A pen holder for their office desk

A silver-plated corkscrew

Ideas for the Flower Girl:

A music box

A figurine such as a ballerina or precious moments character

A bracelet or necklace

A doll dressed in wedding attire

Several of her favorite books wrapped together

A picture frame that could later be filled with a picture of her and the bride from the wedding day

A homemade teddy-bear bride

A drawing kit containing paper, crayons, marker, stickers, etc.

A personalized tee-shirt

Ideas for the Ringbearer:

A gift box of his favorite sports balls: basketball, football or soccer

A piggy bank

Several of his favorite action figures

A drawing kit containing paper, crayons, marker, stickers, etc.

Several of his favorite books wrapped together

A picture frame that could later be filled with a picture of him and the bride from the wedding day

Gift Giving Ideas

204

A modern trend that is growing is to give gifts to the parents of the bride and groom.

Ideas for parent gifts:

Your engagement or wedding portrait in a silver picture frame engraved with the wedding date or in a
crystal picture frame

Your engagement portrait along with your mother and grandmothers wedding portraits all framed
together

An engraved silver tray

Silver or crystal candlesticks

A picture or piece of art

Their favorite flowers delivered the next day

A figurine of their favorite pastime

Business and Legal Affairs

Marriage License:

Before you can say, I do, you will need to obtain a marriage license. The requirements are determined
by each state and they vary from state-to-state. They can be obtained by calling or writing the county
clerks office. Use questionnaire Obtaining Your Marriage License at the end of this section to find out
what information you need to obtain a marriage license. Basically they are laws concerned with the age of
consent, residence, citizenship, and freedom of venereal disease. Use form Marriage License Checklist
to record and determine what other items you may need to get your marriage license. If you are marrying
within the State of Texas, review the information under State of Texas Marriage License at the end of
this section that describes the process for the State of Texas.

Changing your name and address:

After you get married, you may be changing your last name or changing your residence. If so, your may
want to take care of some of the changes before your wedding. Some agencies may require a copy of your
marriage certificate so check ahead of time.

The items or documents you might need to change include the following:

Social Security Card-(normally at the office of the Federal Social Security Administration).
Drivers License.
Car Registration.
Voters Registration.
Passport.
Employer or School Records.
Bank Accounts (changing or opening of joint accounts).
Insurance Policies (auto, home, health).
Pension Plans.
Property Titles or Leases.
Charge Accounts.
Subscriptions.
Club Memberships.
Post Office (new name and address).

Changing your Name?

Taking your husbands last name:
If you are planning to take your husbands last name, you will need to sign your marriage
certificate this way and all future documents. Get the necessary paper work or requirements to
record your name changes for all legal and official records.

Keeping your maiden name:
If you are planning to keep your maiden name, you will need to sign your maiden name on your
marriage certificate and all legal documents. Most states dont require you notify any official
agencies but check your state for any special requirements.

205
Business and Legal Affairs
Using your maiden name professionally:
Avoid intermixing the 2 names on legal documents. Use only your maiden name on all legal documents
and when filing your joint tax return. The IRS may require proof of your marriage and request a notarized
copy your marriage license.

Hyphenating your last name:
You may choose to hyphenate your name so your last name appears first followed by your husbands last
name. If so, be sure to record your name changes with agencies and sign your marriage certificate this
way.

206
Obtaining your Marriage License

Things to find out before obtaining your marriage license:

Do you need to apply in person and together?

What is the waiting time period before and after the license is issued?

Who needs to sign it?

What are the age requirements?

What identification or proof of age is required?

What are the residence requirements?

Is a blood test or doctors certification needed?

What is the fee?

Is proof of divorce needed?

Are AIDs tests required (if so, it can take 6 to 8 weeks to get the results
back)?

207

Marriage License Checklist
County Clerks Office:_______________________ Phone:____________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________
Appointment Date:__________________________ Time:_____________________________________
States minimum age to marry:__________________
Waiting period after application:_________________
License is valid for _______________________days
License Fee:_________________________________

Brides Doctor:_____________________________ Phone:____________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________
Appointment Date:__________________________ Exam Fee:_________________________________
Need to get:____________________________________________________________________________

Grooms Doctor:____________________________ Phone:____________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________
Appointment Date:__________________________ Exam Fee:_________________________________
Need to get:____________________________________________________________________________

Documents and tests required by County Clerk in your state:
Need to get:
Required: Item: Have: Bride Groom
_______________ Proof of age (drivers license)
_______________ Proof of Citizenship (birth certificate)
_______________ Doctors Certificate
_______________ Venereal disease blood test
_______________ Rubella, sickle cell anemia blood test
_______________ AIDS or other blood test
_______________ AIDS Counseling
_______________ Proof of Divorce
_______________ Parental consent for marriage of minors

208

State of Texas Marriage License

The process for obtaining your license in Texas is basically the same all over the state.

The bride and groom must visit the office of the County Clerk together.

You will need to bring a valid form of identification: drivers license, certified copy of your birth
certificate, US passport, or Military ID. You will also need your Social Security Card.

The cost changes periodically but currently its $35.00.

There is a 72 hour waiting period after the license is issued. However, blood tests are not required in the
Tri-County area.

Most County Clerk Offices are open Monday through Friday. Downtown Dallas and Collin County are
opened 8am to 4pm. However, other Dallas offices and Tarrant County Offices are opened until 4:30pm.

Locations around the Dallas/Fort Worth Area:

Dallas County Collin County Tarrant County

Downtown Dallas McKinney Arlington
Records Building Collin County Courthouse Southeast Sub-Courthouse
509 East Main Street 210 South McDonald Street 724 East Border
214-653-7477 or First Floor 817-548-3928
214-653-7131 972-424-1460 x4134

East Dallas Plano Downtown Ft. Worth
East Dallas Gov. Center Collin County Gov. Center Old Courthouse
3443 St. Francis Avenue 900 East Park, Suite 140-C 100 W Weatherford
214-321-3182 972-881-3025 Room 180
817-884-1075

North Dallas Hurst
County Government Center Northeast Sub-Courthouse
10056 Marsh Lane, Suite 137 645 Grapevine Highway
214-904-3030 817-581-3604

209

Name and Address Change Worksheet
Items to be Changed: Change
Name:
Change
Address:
Account or Policy
Number:
Phone or Address to Notify
Company:
Done:
Social Security

Drivers License

Car Registration

Employee Records

School Records

Checking Accounts

Savings Accounts

IRA Accounts

Leases

Credit Cards

Stocks and Bonds

Safety Deposit Box

Loans

Post Office

Utilities

Taxes

Auto Insurance

Property Insurance

Medical Insurance

Life Insurance

Doctors/Dentists

Wills/Trusts

Pensions

Property Titles

Business Cards

Business Stationery

Subscriptions

Club Memberships

Voters Registration

Passport

210
Selecting Your Wedding Bands

If your engagement ring has a matching wedding band, the process of selecting your band is very
simple. You and your groom will probably go back to the original jewelers to purchase your
wedding band. There may also be one for your groom that matches your set. If this is not the case,
you will want to select your bands together at the same jeweler as the engagement ring was
purchased from or from a new jeweler. In any case, keep the following in mind:

Make sure the jeweler is reliable and reputable. Choose one that has been in business for
a long time.

Know what your budget amount is before doing any shopping.

Comparison shop for good deals.

Keep receipts for insurance purposed.

Find out if there will be an extra charge for sizing the bands.

Find out about the cleaning and repair policy.

Get a written guarantee and permanent registration when you purchase the rings.

Get a written appraisal of the replacement value for insurance purposes.

211

212

The Honeymoon

Depending on the time you and your groom may have to spend together and the amount of your
budget, you may be able to take an official honeymoon. If this is not possible, you should at least
try to spend a few days after the ceremony to relax with each other and unwind. Youve
probably had little time to spend together during all of the planning, working and tension youve
endured to ensure your wedding was a perfect occasion.

Traditional wedding etiquette states that the groom is the one to handle the honeymoon
details but these days most couples plan their honeymoon together.

For best rates, you should book your honeymoon at least 6 to 8 months in advance. If you will be
traveling during the holiday seasons or peak periods such as spring or winter break, its a good
ideal to make your reservations as soon as you have set the wedding date. During off seasons,
sites will be less crowded and quieter. Also, you could save up to 50%!

The average honeymoon will cost between $3,000 and $5,000. You will want to create a budget to
determine how much you can afford to spend and to determine where you both will want to go.

Planning your honeymoon:

Keeping in mind the amount of time you can take from work or school along with your budget,
in deciding where you both want to go. Look through travel magazines, the newspaper (larger cities have
travel sections), and the travel sections of the library or bookstore or surf the Internet to get some ideas on
where you both would like to go.

Once you have narrowed down your choices, enlist the help of a good travel agent. A good agent will take
the time to meet with you and explore all of your options. He or she can help you make the final decision
on where you want to go. He or she can recommend the best and cheapest airfares, the best places to stay
as well as give you tips on the things to do and what to take with you. Be sure to ask about any
honeymoon packages or all-inclusive packages. They may seem expensive up front but they may save
you on the cost of meals and activities. Use the form The Honeymoon Itinerary at the end of this section
to plan and record your activities.

Wherever you decide to go, youll have a great time simply because youre together.

Your first night together:

Many couples decide to spend their first night together in a honeymoon suite near the reception
location especially if they had an evening wedding. If this is something that you are planning to
to do, reserve something special. You may want to let the manager or reservation desk know its
your wedding night and you may find a bottle of champagne or something else special waiting
for you.

213
The Honeymoon

Helpful Hints:

Carry the names, addresses, and phone numbers of both of your families in case of an
emergency.

Leave a copy of your itinerary with both families in case they would need to reach you.

Take your drivers license, marriage certificate, and passport/visa, if needed.

Carry very little cash and put most of your money in traveler checks for security reasons.

Carry national credit cards for things such as car rentals.

Label your luggage inside and out with your names, address, and phone number.

Make a list of your luggage contents, as it will be useful for claiming any losses, if necessary.

Make sure you have homeowners or renters insurance that covers your belongings.

Dont forget to bring your camera to ensure you will capture all of the wonderful moments
of your special time together.

214
The Honeymoon Itinerary
Travel Agency:_________________________________________________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________
Agent:____________________________________ Phone:____________________________________
Number of Days:____________________________ Estimated Costs:____________________________
Honeymoon dates From:______________________ To:_______________________________________
Honeymoon destination(s):________________________________________________________________

Wedding Night:
Hotel:_____________________________________ Phone:____________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________
Room Accommodations:______________________ Room#:___________________________________
Rate:_______________ Includes:____________ Reservations Made Confirmed

Departure
Date:
Pick-up
Time:
Carrier/
Number:
Phone: Rate: Arrival
Date:
Return
Time:
Confirmed
________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________
________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________
________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________
________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________
________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________

Hotel Reservations:
Arrival Date:________________ Departure Date:____________________ Confirmed
Hotel:_____________________________________ Phone:____________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________
Arrival Date:________________ Departure Date:______________ Confirmed
Hotel:_____________________________________ Phone:____________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________
Arrival Date:________________ Departure Date:______________ Confirmed
Hotel:_____________________________________ Phone:____________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________________

215

216

Hosting A Bridesmaids Luncheon

Hosting a bridesmaid luncheon will give you a chance to honor all of your female attendants and say thank you
for their participation in your wedding and the work they might have already contributed to it. The bride is
normally the hostess but the luncheon could be hosted by a close friend or family member. It usually held a week
or two before the wedding while things are a little calmer. It could be held at a private home, a club, restaurant, or
maybe a spa (for a pre-wedding day spruce up of facials, makeup and massages). Also, it doesnt have to be an
actual luncheon. It could be a breakfast, tea, or dinner. At the gathering, you could choose to give your attendants
their gifts instead of presenting these to them at the rehearsal dinner.

In the south, its customary to have a pink cake with good luck charms either baked into the cake or held by
ribbons. Each bridesmaid pulls a ribbon and receives a charm signifying a deeper message. Some charms that are
normally used are :

Heart-love
Coin-riches
Wishbone/horseshoe-luck
Ring-marriage

217

218

Planning The Rehearsal

Generally the rehearsal takes place the night before the wedding, with a dinner party to follow.
You may want to schedule it a couple of evenings in advance if it will be a late night or there will
be lots of drinking. The rehearsal shouldnt take more than 45 minutes but plan for a little extra
time. It should be held at the ceremony site and all members of the wedding party should attend
including the soloist, organists, or instrumentalists as well as the parents and grandparents of the
bride and groom. You should have the music you will be using for the ceremony there that night
even if its on a record or tape. If you are getting married in a house of worship, the clergyman
will conduct the rehearsal. If you are getting married at a hotel or banquet hall, the captain or
maitred will most likely coordinate the rehearsal. If you are using a wedding coordinator, then
he/she may also conduct the rehearsal.

Its helpful for everyone if you are able to keep the details as close to the real event the next day
as possible. Designate where items such as the flowers or candles will be. Go over what everyone
should do and your ceremony will flow smoothly the next day:

You will want to give the attendants an idea of where to stand as well as whom they will
be walking with and in what order. (Review the processional orders listed on the next
page).
Use the actual processional music to help attendants measure their steps down the aisle.
You may need to give the participants a verbal clue so they know when it their turn to go
down the aisle next.
You may tell them to wait until the person ahead of them has reached a certain pew or
row.
Remind them not to run down the aisle during the recessional even though the music is
faster. (Review the recessional orders listed on the next page).
Make sure your all of your attendants (male and female) know what time they should be
at the ceremony the next day. Ushers need to be there at least 30 minutes before the
ceremony to seat early arrivals. They should know to seat the brides family on the left
and the grooms on the right. Also, they should know who is seated in the reserved
section if there is one.
Once you feel comfortable that everyone knows what their duties are and they have their parts
down for the processional as well as the recessional, you can proceed to your rehearsal dinner if
its scheduled for that night.

219
Planning The Rehearsal

Faith Processional Order Recessional Order
Christian or Reformed Jewish:
In most cases the clergyman will be
standing at the altar with the groom and
best man in front on the right side. The
ushers may or may not be a part of your
processional, if they are here is the
processional line up:

Orthodox or Conservative Jewish

Ushers (by height, single or in pairs)

Bridesmaids (same as ushers)

Maid (Matron of Honor)

Ring bearer

Flowergirl

Bride and Her Father (her escort)

Ushers (paired singly)

Best man

FatherGroomMother

Bridesmaids (paired singly)

Maid of Honor

Ring bearerFlowergirl

FatherBride--Mother
Grooms Parents

Brides Parents

Ushers and bridesmaids

Best man and Maid (Matron of Honor)

Flowergirl and Ring bearer

Bride and Groom

Bridesmaid and Usher

Bridesmaid and Usher

Maid of Honor and Best man

Flowergirl and Ring bearer

Grooms Parents

Brides Parents

Bride and Groom

220
Planning Your Rehearsal Dinner

When planning for your rehearsal dinner, use common sense and good taste. The rehearsal dinner
is a time for both families and members of the wedding party to relax and get to know each other.
The grooms parents, a close relative, or a friend usually hosts the dinner. The dinner is given
after the wedding rehearsal. It can be held at a home, club, or restaurant. If you are planning to
send initiations, plan to send these 2 weeks in advance. Use form Rehearsal Party Guest List on
the next page to plan your guest list.

The guest list should include the wedding party, both sets of parents along with their immediate
families and the officiating clergyman along with his/her spouse. Spouses and dates of the
wedding party should be invited along with the parents of any children in the wedding. It is
perfectly accepted to include out-of-town guests as well.

You may want to toast your bridal party and thank them personally for any work they have done.
Also, you may want to give them their gifts if you havent already done so.

221

222

Almost There

Your day is quickly approaching. Your planning is almost complete and your anticipation is
building. The following items can help you keep your sanity as well as look and feel your best on
your wonderful day:

Review the Final Checklist at the end of this section to mark off any last minute
details.

Check with your groom to remind him of his duties such as bringing the marriage license
and the rings. Dont leave anything to chance.

Develop and prepare a wedding day itinerary just for your activities for the day. This will
help you from worrying about any last minute details being overlooked. Allow for plenty
of time to get ready and to deal with unexpected things that may occur.

Reconfirm the commitment of family or friends that were delegated duties.

Pack an emergency bag:

To help with the unexpected items that could come up, prepare yourself by packing
an emergency bag that you can take with you to the ceremony. Have a bridesmaid or
trusted friend bring it along to the reception. You can even take it with you on your
honeymoon. Items to pack:

o Make-up for touching up
o Brush
o Hairspray
o Comb
o Blow Dryer
o Curling Iron
o Toothbrush
o Toothpaste
o Mouthwash
o Dental Floss
o Clear nail polish
o Nail glue
o Emery board
o Different types of pins (safety, straight, bobby, and hair)
o Two extra pairs of stockings
o Cufflinks, studs, and additional bow ties
o A sewing kit with needles pre-threaded with all of the colors used in your
wedding including white or ivory.
o Tweezers and crochet hook (to fasten button hooks, etc.)
o Earring backs
o Aspirins
o Antacid
o Tampons and sanitary napkins
o Smelling salts
o White chalk (to get out lipstick)
o Straws (for quick drinking with out making a mess)
o Masking tape (for ripped hems)

223
Almost There

Lay out all of your clothes, accessories, and any other items you may need the night
before.

Save the majority of your celebrating for your special day. Go to bed early and get plenty
of rest.

You may be a little nervous but this is natural. Try to relax and avoid emotional tension.

Try to eat something the next morning so you can look and feel your best.

224
Final Checklist
Booked Items & Services: Booked Items & Services:

Rings Flowers
Engagement Ceremony Flowers
Brides Wedding Reception Flowers
Grooms Wedding Brides Flowers
Bridesmaids Flowers
Ceremony Mens Boutonnieres
Ceremony Site Mothers/Grandmothers
Officiant
Marriage License Photography
Music/Musicians Formal Portrait
Bridal Consultant Wedding Album
ParentsAlbum
Wedding Attire Extra Pictures
Brides Dress
Headpiece/Accessories Transportation
Grooms Formalwear Limousines, etc.
Brides Attendants Valet Parking
Grooms Attendants
Other Parties
Bridal Luncheon
Stationery Rehearsal Dinner
Invitations Bachelors Party
Reception Cards Other Parties
Response Cards
Announcements Gifts
Thank-you notes Gift to bride
Programs/Napkins Gift to the groom
Bridal Attendants
Reception Grooms Attendants
Reception Site Parents of the Bride
Caterer Parents of the Groom
Music
Equipment Rentals Honeymoon
Liquor/Beverages Travel Arrangements
Wedding Cake Hotel Accommodations
Other arrangements

225

226

End of Your Journey

With all of your planning finished and your final checklist completed, savor the joy and
excitement that you are feeling as you realize you have finally arrived at the day you have
been dreaming of since you were a little girl.

As you begin to prepare for your magical day, relax and take a deep breath. Remember as
you take your last steps toward the altar as a single woman, the only real important thing
today is the public expression of you and your grooms love for each other and your
pledge to share all life has to offer; your hopes, dreams, achievements and
disappointments. May you live together in blissful happiness from this day forward.

227
Planning For A Second Marriage
The Ceremony:

If you are planning a ceremony that is for a second marriage, be sure to check with your
clergyman or officiant to determine if there are any rules or restrictions for remarriages of
divorced people.

The following are different case scenarios regarding bride and grooms second marriages:

Brides first marriage and grooms second:
Everything normally remains close to tradition. The ceremony may be as formal or religious as you
would like.

Brides second:
A semiformal or informal wedding is chosen. Only close friends and family members are present. The
exception is if the bride has never had a large formal wedding before or has no children.

Brides second but grooms first:
The grooms parents may opt to host the wedding or the couple may chose to pay for it themselves.

Both the bride and grooms second:
Its best to have a semiformal or informal wedding. There should be a maid (matron) of honor but no
bridesmaids. The groom should have a best man and only several ushers if they are needed. If so, the
ushers dont need to stand at the altar. You may want to involve children from previous marriages,
depending on their ages.

Invitations and announcements:

If you are inviting 30 or more guests besides your closest friends or relatives, you should send
printed invitations. Usually the person who is hosting the ceremony and reception should issue the
invitations. The wording will depend on your individual situation. If you are planning to have a
small ceremony but a large reception, a formal invitation should be sent to all guests with a
ceremony card included for all guests invited to both the reception and ceremony.

Gifts are not expected for a second wedding but if you should receive any, you should send thank-
you notes. Remember, it is not proper to indicate no gifts on the invitation.

The Wedding Dress:

What type of dress you chose to wear will depend on the formality of the ceremony and the time
of day. You may wear white but you could also chose ivory or something in a pastel color. It
could be an ankle or mid-length dress or suit. Do not wear a veil which is a symbol of virginity.
Instead wear a wreath of fresh or silk flowers or a hat. You may want to carry a bouquet, a
decorated prayer book or a single flower.

The Reception:

The reception can be of any size or style you wish. You may still toast with champagne, cut the
wedding cake and have a first dance. However, first time wedding customs like tossing the
bouquet or garter should be omitted.

i
Planning For A Second Marriage
Including children in your wedding:

You and your groom will need to discuss your feelings and thoughts on children from previous
marriages roles in the wedding. Remarriage of a parent is difficult for most children to accept. If
the children choose to be involved, you should include them in the wedding plans from the
beginning. They should feel like that are active participants in the planning, decision making, and
shopping.

ii
Wedding Party Phone Numbers

Wedding Date:___________________________________________ Time:______________________
Number of Guests:_________________________________________
Rehearsal Date:____________________________________________ Time: ______________________
Name: Home Phone: Work Phone:
Bride:
Groom:
Brides Parents:
Grooms Parents
Brides Attendants: Home Phone: Work Phone:
Matron of Honor:
Maid of Honor:
Bridesmaid:
Bridesmaid:
Bridesmaid:
Bridesmaid:
Bridesmaid:
J unior Bridesmaid:
Flower Girl:
Other:
Grooms Attendants: Home Phone: Work Phone:
Best Man:
Usher:
Usher:
Usher:
Usher:
Usher:
Usher:
Usher:
Ringbearer:
Other:

Wedding Vendor Worksheet

Vendors: Phone/Cell: Address: Pager: Email:
Wedding Consultant:
Officiant:
Ceremony Site:
Organist:
Soloist:
Other Musicians:
Stationer:
Calligrapher:
Florist:
Bridal Attire:
Tuxedo:
Attendant Attire:
Reception Site:
Caterer:
Bartender:
Valet:
Bakery:
Reception Musicians:
Photographer:
Videographer:
Transportation:
Travel Agent:
Rent Equipment:
Special Equipment:
Guest Book Attendant:
Gift Attendant:
J eweler:
Other:
Other:

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