Running Head: The Divided Self

The Divided Self Donnalayha Cook Norfolk State University

Running Head: The Divided Self Abstract

Race plays a key factor in society and is significant to every individual. It is examined in the novel The Autobiography of an Ex-Courled Man by James Weldon Johnson in three different perspectives. The first perspectives relate to the moments preceding and succeeding the narrators understanding of being man of African American descent. In the second circumstance, not only does the narrator accepts his race he embodies it through interacting and living within a black community. Finally, his vantage point alters from the preference of living the life as a black man to living as a white once he discerns the fact that his quality of life is guaranteed to significantly improve. The main character is in a never ending war with his self throughout the entirety of the novel. He experiences is a dissonance between society supporting his white self and his personal beliefs regarding his black self.

Running Head: The Divided Self

Race is a word that defines a local geographic or global human population distinguished by genetically transmitted physical characteristics (Beube, 2007). The race issue not only prevails in todays society, but has been relevant to the United States of America since its founding. The phrase race issue remains in quotes because in reality, race is irrelevant to the human species. One racial group should not take a superior role over another just because of superficial characteristics via hair texture, skin color and facial features. There is no logic, reason, nor substance to the race argument that would justify the dehumanization of our own species. However, in James Weldon Johnsons novel The Autobiography of an Ex-Coloured Man, race is confronted head on. Throughout the story, not only does race dictate societys actions, but it places a young male who is both white and black in a critical dilemma. He must choose whether he will embrace his white self or black self; in turn, he is left as a divided self. At the start of the book the main character articulates I KNOW THAT IN WRITING THE FOLLOWING PAGES I AM divulging the great secret of my life, the secret which for some years I have guarded far more carefully than any of my earthly possessions (Johnson, 1960). The Autobiography of an Ex-Coloured Man illustrates the trials and tribulations of a biracial confused man. His great secret, from which he hides from the rest of the world, is that he is African American man. The weight of this secret is so heavy that he does not state his or any of the other characters name in fear of being discovered. As a boy, he doesnt realize he is half African American until indicated by those at his school. Prior to this finding, he assumes he is white. Upon this initial conclusion of being white, he has total confidence in himself and believes all things are possible; however, upon newfound finding, he instantly assumes less of himself even without anyone ever stating or inferring to such a suggestion. After the death of his mother and infrequent contact with his father, the main character tries his best to make it on his

Running Head: The Divided Self own. This proves to be difficult as he relates to his black identity. Nevertheless, he changes his

identity of a black to white man according to the situation he faces, how he feels at the time, and what he perceives to be appropriate. Ultimately, he disregards his African American roots for the sake of a better life for him and his family. The first confrontation he faces with his divided self was as a boy. The school he goes to in Connecticut had both whites and blacks in attendance. As a white child he relates to his white peers. He even went as far as teasing colored children in his class. In one instance, he participates in an act which involves following colored kids home from school, all the while, referring to them niggers. Thereafter, the main character arrives at his household and tells his mother that one of the niggers hit his friend. A wave of shame comes over his mother because she knows he is oblivious to the fact that the world will soon refer to him as this derogatory term, for he is too an African American. The day he comes to realize this, happens to be a major breaking point in his life. The emotions he describes are confusion, numbness and disbelief. Immediately, at the close of school he rushes home to stare at his reflection in the mirror. The shock and denial he expresses for simply being a boy of color is perplexing to me. I know that there is nothing wrong with being black, but society deems it to be a flaw. Here is a boy who is intelligent, musically inclined, and socially engaged, yet he feels less of himself for shallow reasons. The second instance where race was an important factor is after his transition from a young sheltered boy to a young independent man. Upon graduating secondary school he travels to the south to obtain a college education. When I reached Atlanta my steadily increasing disappointment was not lessened. I found it a big, dull, red (Johnson, 1960). This was the narrators first sightings of the south. The narrator was still depressed about

Running Head: The Divided Self the new scene and change of environment. He is also adjusting to his new identity, embracing being a black man. At this time he encounters and interacts with a large population of African Americans for the first time. As the narrators time in the south increases, the book shows how he begins to study black people of the south from their

language all the way to their style of dress and eating habits. The narrator states, Only one thing about them awoke a feeling of interest; that was their dialect (Johnson, 1960). The narrator was not use to people saying Lawd a mussy! (Lord have mercy) and Gwan man!(Go on man) and Bless ma soul!(Bless my soul). Loud phrases like these made the narrator gain interest in learning more about his culture and being in the south. This main character soon finds out that it is very though being black after his money to attend school was stolen. As a man of color, it is difficult to find work, especially when one does not have a particular trade. He faces with the cruelty of the real world. I believe that this is a huge turning point in his life because for the first time he dealt with his own people and saw firsthand that as a people they had to work twice as hard to make it by. I say that this was the authors first feeling of being black in the south because of the symbolic view of blacks wanting to learn and go to school, but being oppressed and held back from doing so in the world. This oppression in the educational system is still seen today. In fact the oppression of blacks in schools is a direct result of the extreme biased treatment blacks encountered within the time period of the setting. Today it is proven that that African American are more likely to labeled as behavior disordered, learning disabled, emotionally disturbed; Furthermore, they are put in the special education at least 3 times the rate of Whites. It is evident that blacks are overrepresented in special education programs and underrepresented in gifted and talented ones (Belgrave & Allison, 2010).

Running Head: The Divided Self

At the end of The Autobiography of an Ex-Coloured Man, the main character decides it is easier to walk in the shoes of a white man. Even though he says that he will allow society to decide his race, he knows that society will presume he is Caucasian. His skin color is fair and facial features resemble that of a white man. Because of these obvious traits, I believe that even though he says he gives society a fair opportunity to choose his race, he honestly knows that the public will never assume him to be an African American unless he says so. Therefore, it is him and not society that dictates him to be a white man. For example, the following entry in the text proves my belief: In thus travelling about the country I was sometimes amused on arriving at some little railroad-station town to be taken for and treated as a white man, and six hours later, when it was learned that I was stopping at the house of the coloured preacher or school-teacher, to not the attitude of the whole town change (Johnson, 1960). In reality, if he would allow society to be on familiar terms with his black and white roots, then and only then, would they be able to decide what they want to consider him, for the entire truth will be disclosed. As a black man in the United States he experiences injustice circumstances in almost everything imaginable. As he ventured into the South he witnesses the extreme impoverished state of African Americans. He is un-attracted to the lack of education that blacks exhibit. The main character even displays some prejudice towards his own people by referring to them as darkies (Johnson, 1960). Because of this he holds a stronger preference for the white race and stares down upon African Americans. Overall, African Americans make him feel ashamed since they are viewed in a negative way by society. With his light skin complexion, he is able to pass as a white man and achieve something that he knows many blacks are incapable of attaining. A career into real estate situates his growth in money. His money created power and this power establishes respect. Conscious to the fact that

Running Head: The Divided Self so many obstacles were intentionally placed in the way of the African Americans is what

encourages him remain under the guise of a white man. Although I do not necessarily agree with his decision, it is apparent that his life as a Caucasian man instantly gives him resources to arise in the upper class of society. However, it triggers a sense of hopelessness to the African American community. It shows that no matter how educated and intelligent you may be, the color of your skin is what actually decides if you will be allowed to successfully reach selfactualization or remain in a futile state. In conclusion, the main character is given the free choice to struggle as an inferior through his African American self or have a trouble-free life through his Caucasian self; he chooses the simpler path. Granted his black self was much more complicated, if he had stuck to that particular identity and made something of himself he would contribute to the list of positive influences among the African American people. By him siding with his white self he is continuing to support the effort of oppressing the black people. Even though he knows that the race issue exists, he ignores it. Ignoring a dilemma will never lead to its solution and that is why his decision to be a white man weighs so heavy on his mind. Despite this fact, he does not have enough courage to become entangled in the race situation for the sake of a more peaceful life. He also believes by only acknowledging his white ancestry his childrens lives will be much easier. On the contrary, his offspring will not benefit from learning to taking on a superior position over blacks and most likely discriminate against them one day. Although the main character finalizes his verdict in only recognize his white self, he still remains a divided self. His black self will forever remain with him as long as he is alive because he is attempting to conceal his great secret.

Running Head: The Divided Self

References Belgrave, F. Z., & Allison, K. W. (2010). African American Psychology (2nd ed.). Los Angeles: SAGE. Beube, M. S. (Ed.). (2007). The American Heritage Dictionary (4th ed.). New York, New York, United States of America Houghton Mifflin. Johnson, J. W. (1960). The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man. New York, New York: Hill and Wang.