Liz Turner Chapter 2 Application Exercise Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love (2006) states, We don't realize

that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace (p.122). This statement rings immensely true for me: inside of myself there is a peace, where it is I just dont have the answer as I have not reached it yet. Half of the battle in knowing ones self is having the ability to describe who you are to other people. There are many factors that come into play when it comes to the idea of self. In order to know myself and get to my inner peace I must be aware of my intellectual self, social self, spiritual self and my physical self. In order to describe all aspects of myself, it is beneficial to utilize theories and concepts such as social comparison, selffulfilling prophecy, identity scripts, and self-sabotage, as well as exploring Woods insights on sexual orientation. Combining these concepts with my own descriptions of self, I may find myself one step closer to self-actualization. Intellect is a part of me that I believe I am the least familiar with. I would describe myself as having the capability to be an intellectual person but not in the means of being book-smart. My intellectual self has always been more interested in things such as music, film, and art -pretty much the opposite of how society might generally describe intellect. My math skills have always been lacking and I usually dislike reading, therefore I have always had the belief that my ability to hold my own in an in-depth conversation about difficult subjects such as ethics has suffered. This whole idea of not feeling at peace with my intellectual self has been brought upon by social comparison. Social comparison is when you go through a process of assessing yourself to others to make judgments of your own talents, abilities, qualities, etc (Wood, 1996, p. 51). Wood explains that when we compare ourselves to others is can help us develop realistic self-

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concepts, but we should be aware of unrealistic standards of comparison. This concept of selfcomparison helps me to realize that although my intellect on certain subjects such as math may not be in the upper range, it does not mean that my own comparisons should stop me from furthering my intellectual self when it comes to complex subjects and ideas. On a much less complex level, I believe I know my social self very well. I have always had the ability to get along well with others no matter their race, religion, age, sexual orientation, etc. I have always described myself as being a good friend, which I believe is due to the selffulfilling prophecy. Self-fulfilling prophecy is when we internalize the expectations and judgments from others about us and then behave in a way that is cohesive with those expectations and judgments (Wood, 1996, p. 44). I started at school as being a shy kid, and as I made friends they would tell their friends that I was fun to hang out with. As a result, my ability to be social became stronger. In addition, I was able to fit in socially with other people that identify as a part of the LGBT* community. I was able to take place in conversations about my sexual orientation. On occasion, I would feel like a social outcast due to my sexual orientation but I soon learned that my life was not much different than my heterosexual peers. Wood (1996) explains that although the normalization of heterosexuality continues, many things are beginning to show that same sex couples are on the uprising of normalcy such as insurance benefits and same-sex union ceremonies (p. 49). These social relationships allowed me to become a stronger person. My strong connection to my spiritual self is more difficult for me to understand. My life leading up till now I have always associated being spiritual with being religious, never knowing if there is a difference. To this day Im still not certain what the complete differences are and I believe this has come into play due to identity scripts. Identity scripts are rules for living and

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identity, much like a script for a play; they define our roles and how we play them in the plot of our lives (Wood, 1996, p. 44). Wood (1996) states that growing up children hear scripts from family members such as live by Gods word (p. 44). My spiritual self has been formed from early childhood scripts that I thought I had to live by such as going to church and learning about God. Without this familial plotline, Im not sure if I would have even thought to go to church. I am connected to my spiritual self through prayer and enjoy engaging in this activity, Im just not sure it would have occurred without identity scripts placed upon me by my parents. My parents obviously played a huge role in determining the basis of my physical self when it comes to my body make-up. For the most part, I am satisfied with my physical self. There are moments of body dysphoria when it comes to my body and gender identity, but on a more basic level it all seems to come back to my feeling overweight. I believe one of the reasons for this negative perspective of my physical self may be the result of self-sabotage. Wood (1996) states that self-sabotage is one of the most crippling kinds of self-talk we can engage in, it is telling ourselves that we are no good (p. 57). I have probably been utilizing self-sabotage since middle school when the unrealistic ideas of beauty become prevalent. I can recall looking into the mirror and trying to suck in my stomach so that is was perfectly flat. As I have grown I have learned that much of my self-loathing was only due to the media and the ideals I was putting into my own head. Although the self-sabotage still comes around, I have learned to battle it by becoming closer and more comfortable with my physical self. A person is a complex being that utilizes many selves to create one whole self. The make-up of intellectual, social, spiritual, and physical self all come together to create a balanced human being. When describing these selves there are theories and concepts that show evidence

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and give depth to what you describe. I have not mastered all four components of myself, but when utilizing Woods theories, I can become closer to self-actualization as a reality.

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References

Gilbert, E. (2006). Eat, pray, love: One woman's search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia. New York: Viking. Wood, J. (2013). Interpersonal communication : everyday encounters. Boston, MA: Wadsworth.

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