Interesting Facts

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INTERESTING FACTS A: Did you know that youve got four miles of tubing in your stomach?

B: I beg your pardon. A: I said, did you know that youve got four miles of tubing in your stomach? B: (disinterestedly) No, no, I didnt know that, no. A: Its a good thing Im ere then isnt it? You have, youve got four miles of tubing in your stomach all coiled up very tightly. It has to be coiled up very tightly otherwise the people in charge would never be able to cram it all in. Course its not any old tubing they use, its a specialized form of tubing they use, its called intestines, and it folds up ever so small and thats how they manage to cram it all in. Arent you interested in your intestines? B: (dismissively) Not particularly. A: Well you should be, you should be, cause without your intestines youd be unable to digest. Then youd look a bit of a fool, wouldnt you? Would you like to see a diagram of your intestines? I got a diagram of your intestines ere. Well its not actually your intestines, unless it was you what modeled for it. It couldnt have been you what modeled for it cause you ave to be dead before you can model for intestines. B: (emphatically) Do you! A: Yeah, so its not a very good job to ave. Intestinal modeling is not a very good job to ave. Not much call for intestinal modeling. See how far it has to go, the food? See how far it has to go? Four miles at one mile an hour. This means none of the food that reaches your stomach is ever really fresh. Its all at least four hours old. B: (irritatedly) Fancy that! A: No, I dont fancy that. Thank you very much indeed. I do not fancy that at all. I do not fancy that in the least tiny bit. Ill tell you another interesting fact though. Its about the whale. Did you know that the whale is not really a fish..its an insect. and it lives on bananas. B: The whale is an insect? I never heard such rubbish. A: I know. Its a joke. I will tell you an interesting fact, its about the grasshopper. The interesting fact about the grasshopper is its disproportionate leaping ability due to its powerful hind legs. Hop, hop, hop it goes, all over arable land. that is land what is actually tilled by Arabs. And Ill tell you the interesting fact about the Arab, the interesting fact about the Arab is he can go for a whole year he can go for a whole year on one grain of rice. Thats amazing isnt it, all he needs is one grain of rice a year. INTERESTING FACTS 1

B: A whole year on one grain of rice? A: No. Thats the er, thats the mosquito. No I get those muddled up cause theyre next door to each other in the dictionary. B: What are? A: Mosquito and mosques. But the interesting fact. the interesting fact about the giraffe is this if the giraffe could leap pound for pound as high as the grasshopper, theyd avoid a lot of trouble. B: Shall I tell you something? Youre one of the most boring, tedious, uninteresting, monotonous, flatulent, flat-headed, cloth-eared, swivel-eyed, fornicating little gits I ever laid eyes on. A: Is that a fact? How very interesting.

INTERESTING FACTS 2

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