Will of the Wind

William Brandon

Rzgarn Hevesi
William Brandon

rs. Hackett found her in her bedroom crying. She stood in doorway and said seriously, I came in to borrow some sugar, Sylvia. The door was o en so I !ust walk in. "ow what#s on earth $s wrong with you% Sylvia sat u and dried her eyes. Her skirt was wrinkled and her black hair hung in disorder over her forehead. & in had come out of her imitation lace collar and it had fallen down to catch in the little red buckle at her waist. She said shakily, Hello, 'rs. Hackett. "othing.( 'rs. Hackett drew down the corners of her mouth. "othing, indeed. It#s because of )hi wanting leave here and go to )anton. Isn#t it% *f course it is.( Sylvia ushed her hair aside out of her eyes. I won#t do it,( she said angrily. I won#t.( 'm,( 'rs. Hackett said sourly. & boy#s will is the wind#s will. #That#s a oem. It#s the truest thing in the world. It doesn#t do any good to fight against it. +emember that and you#ll have it easier## I won#t do it. I won#t move around to one mill after another all my life, and never have anything, no home, and no,nothing- I won#t-( Well it#s his !ob if he wants to give it u .( It isn#t- It#s !ust as much mine as it is his. I don#t believe in that old idea that a woman#s !ust a,a slave, to follow a man around whatever he ha ens to want to do-( *h, you don#t,( 'rs. Hackett said. &nd !ust what can you do about it%( Sylvia bowed her head and dried her cheeks with her handkerchief. I don#t know,( she said.

ayan Hackett onu yatak odas.nda a/l.yorken buldu. 0ad.n ka . aral./.nda durdu ve ciddi bir 1ekilde Sylvia, bira2 1eker 3d4n5 almak i5in gelmi1tim. 0a . a5.kt. ben de i5eri girdim. 6imdi &llah a1k.na neyin var yine%( Sylvia dik oturdu ve g32lerini sildi. 7te/i buru1mu1tu ve siyah sa5lar. aln.n.n 42erine da/.n.k 1ekilde sarkm.1t.. Taklit dantele ben2eyen yakas.ndan bir i/ne d.1ar. 5.km.1t. ve blu2undaki k454k k.rm.2. ko 5ay. tutturmak i5in a1a/. do/ru u2an.yordu. Sesi titreyerek 'erhaba Bayan Hackett, bir 1ey yok( dedi. Bayan Hackett 5enesinin kenarlar.n. ovarak hi5 bir 1ey yok, ger5ekten. )hi #in buradan ayr.l. )anton#a gitmek istemesinden dolay., de/il mi. 7lbetteki 3yle.( Sylvia sa5lar.n. g32lerini 3n4nden yanaklar.na do/ru itti. Sinirli 1ekilde Bunu ya mayaca/.m( dedi . 8a mayaca/.m.( 0aramsar bir 1ekilde h.mm( dedi Bayan Hackett. #9en5 bir erke/in ar2ular. r42/ar.nki gibidir.# Bu bir 1iirdir. :4nyadaki en do/ru 1ey. Buna kar1. sava1man.n hi5 bir faydas. yoktur. Bunu hat.rla ve b3ylece daha kolay kabulleneceksin( Bunu ya mayaca/.m . Hayat.m boyunca bir de/irmenden 3tekine dola1mayaca/.m, ve asla bir 1eyin olmayacak, evin olmayacak, hi5 bir 1eyin olmayacak; bunu ya mayaca/.m.( Bu onun i1i isterse b.rakabilir.( <yle de/il . *nun oldu/u kadar benim de i1im. 6u eski fikre,, 0ad.n. her istedi/ini ya mak isteyen bir erke/in e1inden ko1an bir k3le gibi g3ren , fikre inanm.yorum-( *oo , inanm.yor musun%( =eki, sen onunla ne ya abilirsin%( dedi Bayan Hackett. Sylvia ba1.n. 3ne e/di ve yanaklar.n. mendiliyle kurulad.. Bilmiyorum( dedi.
1

*f course you don#t. 8ou#re nothing but a child,( 'rs. Hackett said.( 8ou#ll be twenty years finding out what to do and by that time it#ll be too late to do you any good. >nless there#s somebody around to tell you to begin with. Somebody who knows.( Sylvia was not im ressed. What could you tell me 'rs. Hackett% What could anyone do% I#ve argued with him until I#m almost cra2y but he ? doesn#t even listen any more. He#s got his mind set on moving on, to something different that won#t be any different at all, and he#ll want to go again, and@ & boy#s will is the wind#s will, said 'rs. Hackett, That#s what the oem says. It#s !ust as true of a man or an old man, for that matter. The older they get the truer it gets, I guess. *nly they give u trying to do anything about it after so long a time.( She ushed u her lower li and looked down her nose at Sylvia. Aike 'r. Hackett.( Sylvia looked u , sur rised. 8ou mean 'r. Hackett used to ? want to@ He was the hardest man to hold down in this town. He got tired of everything, that was his trouble. It#s sort of la2iness, that#s all it is. But he stuck here. He stuck, all right.( Why%( Sylvia asked. What did you do%( Well,( 'rs. Hackett said, you can take it for what it#s worth, Sylvia. It worked with 'rs. Hackett, I know that.( But what was it%( Whenever he got all eBcited about leaving here and going away some lace to look for something he thought was better, I sim ly gave him his way. I didn#t o ose him in the least.( Sylvia looked disa ointed and confused. *h.( But, 'rs. Hackett said rofoundly, he didn#t know it. C

7lbette bilme2sin. Hen42 daha bir 5ocuksun.( dedi Bayan Hackett. "e ya aca/.n. 3/renene kadar yirmi ya1.na basacaks.n ve ve o 2aman da kendin i5in bir 1eyler ya mak i5in 5ok ge5 olacak. Tabii etraf.nda bulunanlardan biri sana nereden ba1layaca/.n. s3ylemedi/i s4rece. Birisi kim bilir.( Sylvia etkilenmemi1ti. Bana ne s3yleyebilirsini2 ki , Bayan Hackett% 0im ne ya abilir ki% *nunla deli oluncaya kadar tart.1t.m fakat beni dinlemedi bile. 9itmeyi kafas.na koymu1, sonunda hi5 bir farkl.l.k yaratm.yacak farkl. bir 1eye ve tekrar gitmek isteyecek veD( 9en5 bir erke/in ar2ular. r42/ar.n iste/idir( dedi Bayan Hackett. 6iirin s3yledi/i bu. Bu konu gen5 bir erkek i5in ne kadar do/ruysa ya1l. bir adam i5in de 3yledir. 8a1land.k5a daha do/ru olur, tahminimce. Sadece 5ok u2un bir 2aman sonra bu konu hakk.nda bir 1eyler ya may. b.rak.rlar.( &lt duda/.n. yukar. do/ru b4kt4 ve burnundan a1a/.ya Sylvia#ya bakt.. Bay Hackett gibi( dedi. Sylvia kafas.n. kald.rd., 1a1.rm.1t.. 8ani Bay Hackett da gitmek isterdiD.%( Bu kasabada tutulmas. en 2or adamd.. *nun s.k.nt.s. her1eyden b.kmas.yd.. Bir 5e1it tembellikti, he si bu kadar. Eakat burada kald.. Burada kald., tamam m.%( "iye , ne ya t.n.2 ki%( diye sordu Sylvia. 6ey, de/eri ne ise o kadar.yla alabilirsin, Sylvia. Bay Hackett#ta i1e yarad., bunu biliyorum.( Eakat o neydi%( "e 2aman buray. terk edi ve daha iyi oldu/unu d414nd4/4 bir1eyler bulaca/. ba1ka yerlere gitmekle ilgilendiyse; ben a5.k5a ona yolu g3sterdim. Hi5 bir 1ekilde ona engel olmad.m.( Sylvia 1a1.rm.1 ve hayal k.r.kl./.na u/ram.1 bir 1ekilde bakt. 8aa- ( dedi. Eakat dedi Bayan Hackett * bunu bilmiyordu.C

CI always took him on a tri . Fust a week or so. &nd I ke t him on the !um every minute of it. I always liked little tri s around, anyway. Well, bye the time that man would get home again he#d be so tired of !um ing around that he wouldn#t have left for a thousand dollars. CThat, 'rs. Hackett said, is something you find about men, Sylvia. They like to start but they like to get back home a whole lot more.( Sylvia said doubtfully. It doesn#t seem that )hi would@ 'aybe he wouldn#t. I#m the last erson in the world to try to give other eo le advice, Sylvia. "obody wants it and I guess everyone has to live his own life, anyway. But 'r. Hackett says that they#re shutting down the mill for a week, and if )hi was to s end that week in a car traveling along fast from one lace to another, without even a chance to catch his breathD.Well, a boy#s will is the wind#s will#@the idea of that is that the wind can change in a minute.( But what if he wouldn#t want to go%( 'm. 8ou tell him you want a little vacation before you move to )anton. If he thinks that you$ve given in to him about moving to )anton, he#ll take you. 8ou try it and see.( They went u into 'ichigan, west to Wisconsin, down through 'innesota and Iowa and St. Aouis to 'em his, east to 0noBville and u through Aouisville to come to home. They were gone siB days. 7ach day Sylvia arranged it so that they got u very early and were on the highway by daylight and she ke t on the !ob, lanning the things to visit at the neBt sto , until late at night. She called u on )hi to sto often at roadside stands and she filled him with hot dogs, soft drinks and bad coffee. She was sur rised and delighted at the dull look that a eared in his eyes on the third day. 'rs. Hackett came over the day after they returned to bring back the cu of sugar she had borrowed.

"Her 2aman onu bir ge2iye 5.kard.m. Sadece bir hafta veya bira2 fa2la . 9e2inin her dakikas.nda onu me1gul ettim. "eyse k454k ge2ilerden her 2aman ho1lanm.1.md.r. 8ani , tekrar eve geldi/i 2aman o etrafta dola1maktan 5ok yorgun d41m41 olurdu ki bin dolar verseydini2 bile tekrar gitme2di.C Bu( dedi Bayan Hackett senin erkekler hakk.nda 3/rendi/in bir 1ey, Sylvia. *nlar ba1lamaktan ho1lan.r ama en sonunda eve d3nmekten 5ok daha fa2la ho1lan.rlar.( Sylvia teredd4tle )hi va2ge5ecek gibi g324km4yor( Belki va2ge5meyecek. :4nyada di/er insanlara 3/4t verecek son ki1iyim, Sylvia . 0imse tavsiye isteme2 ve bence herkes yine de kendi hayat.n. ya1amak 2orundad.r. Eakat Bay Hackett de/irmeni bir haftal./.na ka ataca/.n. s3yl4yor, ve e/er )hi bu haftay. bir 1ehirden di/erine h.2l.ca, hatta nefes almas.na bile f.rsat vermeden arabayla yolculuk ya arak ge5irirseD.. gen5 bir adam.n iste/i, r42/ar.n iste/idir. Bu r42/ar.n bir dakika i5inde de/i1ebilece/i fikridir.( Eakat; ya gitmek isteme2se%( H.mm, sen ona )anton#a gitmeden 3nce ufak bir tatile 5.kmak istedi/ini s3yle. 7/er senin )anton#a gitme fikri hakk.nda ona boyun e/di/ini d414n4rse, seni tatile g3t4r4r. :ene ve g3r.( 'ichigan#.n ku2eyine, do/uya Winconsin#e, a1a/. do/ru 'innesota ve Iowa ve St. Aouis#den 'em his#e, bat.ya 0noBville#ne ve eve gelmek i5in yukar.ya Aouisville#ye gittiler. &lt. g4nl4/4ne gitmi1lerdi. Her g4n Sylvia ge2iyi d42enledi dolay.siyle 5ok erken kalkt.lar ve g4nd42leri otoyoldayd.lar ve bir dahaki duracaklar. yerde neleri 2iyaret edeceklerini lanlama i1ini Sylvia gece ge5 saatlere kadar s4rd4rd4. Sylvia )hi #ten s.k s.k yol kenar.ndaki b4felerde durmas.n. istedi ve ona sosisli sand3vi5 , alkols42 i5ecekler ve k3t4 kahve yediri i5irtti. G54nc4 g4n )hi #in g32lerinde g3r4nen donuk bak.1lara 1a1.r. ve sevindi. :3nd4klerinin ertesi g4n4 Bayan Hackett 3d4n5 alm.1 oldu/u bir kase 1ekeri geri vermek i5in 5.ka geldi. 3

She said, Well -( and aused eB ectantly, holding the cu of sugar in both hands. He went back to work today,( Sylvia said. There was a tired note in her voice. He hasn#t said a thing about going to )anton for several days.( 'm- &nd what did he say when he got home%( She asked. That he never thought home would look so good to him%( Sylvia nodded. She sat down on a kitchen chair and for a moment seemed lost in thought. He said eBactly that,( she said at last. 8ou won#t even be able to get him to move out of the house to go to a movie for a month. I told you. Wind#s will,( that#s the oem. They#re all alike, all men.( She ut the cu of sugar on the kitchen cabinet and looked at Sylvia. But I wouldn#t say that you look so ha y about it, Sylvia. 8ou#re tired.( Sylvia rested her chin on her hand. She sighed and said, I#m a little tired of this town, I guess. I was !ust thinking, when we came back yesterday, and it looked so Dso old and so dirty and dull and tiresomeDand I thought that we#ll s end all our lives here, with nothing to do eBce t the same old D oh, I was !ust thinking.( 'rs. Hackett drew back and looked at Sylvia seriously and then said. 8ou#re !ust tired, Sylvia. 'y goodness. That long tri @ Sylvia looked u and her eyes were shining. But I#m not tired,( she said. I had a wonderful time.(

7ee-%-( dedi ve her iki eliyle 1eker kab.n. tutarak umutla bekledi. Bug4n i1e geri d3nd4( dedi Sylvia. Sesinde yorgun bir ifade vard.. Bir ka5 g4nd4r )anton#a gitmeyle ilgili bir 1ey s3ylemedi-( H.mmm - =eki eve geldi/inde ne s3yledi %( diye sordu. 7vin ona hi5 bu kadar g42el g3r4nd4/4n4 asla d414nmedi/ini.( s3yledi. Sylvia ba1.n. sallad.. 'utfak sandalyesinin birine oturdu ve bir an i5in d414ncelere dalm.1 g324kt4. &ynen 3yle s3yledi-( dedi en sonunda. Bir ay boyunca onu sinemaya gitmek i5in bile evin d.1.na 5.karamayacaks.n. Sana s3ylemi1tim.(+42gar.n ar2ular.( i1te 1iir bu. *nlar.n he si ayn. ,b4t4n erkekler(. 6eker kasesini mutfak dolab.na koydu ve Sylvia#ya bakt.. &ma senin bu konudan 5ok mutlu g3r4nd4/4n4 s3yleyemem. Hok yorgunsun.( Sylvia 5enesini ellerinin 42erine dayad.. I5ini 5ekti ve San.r.m bu kasabadan bir ar5a s.k.ld.m. Sadece d4n geri geldi/imi2de d414nd4m ve bu kasaba 5ok eski, kirli, s.k.c., bunalt.c. g3r4nd4 ve d414nd4m de b4t4n 3mr4m424 burada ge5irece/i2, ya acak bir 1ey olmadan sadece ayn. eski D.&man, Sadece d414n4yordum-( Bayan Hackett geri 5ekildi ve ciddi bir 1ekilde Sylvia#ya ya bakt. ve Sadece yorgunsun, Sylvia. &man &llah.m, 1u u2un ge2i D..(dedi. Sylvia ba1.n. kald.r. bakt., g32leri arl.yordu. Eakat ben yorulmad.m ki( dedi. Harika bir 2aman ge5irdim.