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I HOPE I HALL A!!I"E OO# A$ter ta%eo$$ the ship ro&tinel' monitore( the con(ition o$ the sixt' people sleepin) in its cr'onic tan%s. One mal$&nction showe(* that o$ person nine. His EE+ reveale( brain activit'. ,t* the ship sai( to itsel$. Complex homeostatic (evices loc%e( into circ&it $ee(* an( the ship contacte( person nine. -.o& are sli)htl' awa%e*- the ship sai(* &tili/in) the ps'chotronic ro&te0 there was no point in ro&sin) person nine to $&ll conscio&sness,a$ter all* the $li)ht wo&l( last a (eca(e. "irt&all' &nconscio&s* b&t &n$ort&natel' still able to thin%* person nine tho&)ht* omeone is a((ressin) me. He sai(* -1here am I locate(2 3 (on4t see an'thin).-.o&4re in $a&lt' cr'onic s&spension.He sai(* -Then 3 sho&l(n4t be able to hear 'o&.- 45a&lt'*4 3 sai(. That4s the point0 'o& can hear me. 6o 'o& %now 'o&r name2-"ictor 7emmin)s. Brin) me o&t o$ this.-1e are in $li)ht.-Then p&t me &n(er.-8&st a moment.- The ship examine( the cr'onic mechanisms0 it scanne( an( s&rve'e( an( then it sai(* -I will tr'.Time passe(. "ictor 7emmin)s* &nable to see an'thin)* &naware o$ his bo('* $o&n( himsel$ still conscio&s. -Lower m' temperat&re*- he sai(. He co&l( not hear his voice0 perhaps he onl' ima)ine( he spo%e. Colors $loate( towar( him an( then r&she( at him. He li%e( the colors0 the' remin(e( him o$ a chil(4s paint box* the semi animate( %in(* an arti$icial li$e,$orm. He ha( &se( them in school* two h&n(re( 'ears a)o.

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html -I can4t p&t 'o& &n(er*- the voice o$ the ship so&n(e( insi(e 7emmin)s4s hea(. -The mal$&nction is too elaborate0 I can4t correct it an( I can4t repair it. .o& will be conscio&s $or ten 'ears.The semi animate( colors r&she( towar( him* b&t now the' possesse( a sinister 9&alit'* s&pplie( to them b' his own $ear. -Oh m' +o(*- he sai(. Ten 'ears: The colors (ar%ene(. As "ictor 7emmin)s la' paral'/e(* s&rro&n(e( b' (ismal $lic%erin)s o$ li)ht* the ship explaine( to him its strate)'. This strate)' (i( not represent a (ecision on its part0 the ship ha( been pro)ramme( to see% this sol&tion in case o$ a mal$&nction o$ this sort. -1hat I will (o*- the voice o$ the ship came to him* -is $ee( 'o& sensor' stim&lation. The peril to 'o& is sensor' (eprivation. I$ 'o& are conscio&s $or ten 'ears witho&t sensor' (ata* 'o&r min( will (eteriorate. 1hen we reach the L!; 'stem* 'o& will be a ve)etable.-1ell* what (o 'o& inten( to $ee( me2- 7emmin)s sai( in panic. -1hat (o 'o& have in 'o&r in$ormation stora)e ban%s2 All the vi(eo soap operas o$ the last cent&r'2 1a%e me lip an( I4ll wal% aro&n(.-There is no air in me*- the ship sai(. -#othin) $or 'o& to eat. #o one to tal% to* since ever'one else is &n(er.7emmin)s sai(* -I can tal% to 'o&. 1e can pla' chess.-#ot $or ten 'ears. Listen to me0 I sa'* I have no $oo( an( no air. .o& m&st remain as 'o& are. ..a ba( compromise* b&t one $orce( on &s. .o& are tal%in) to me now. I have no partic&lar in$ormation store(. Here is polic' in these sit&ations: I will $ee( 'o& 'o&r own b&rie( memories* emphasi/in) the pleasant ones. .o& possess two h&n(re( an( six 'ears o$ memories an( most o$ them have s&n% (own into 'o&r &nconscio&s. This is a splen(i( so&rce o$ sensor' (ata $or 'o& to receive. Be o$ )oo( cheer. This sit&ation* which 'o& are in* is not &ni9&e. It has never happene( within m' (omain be$ore* b&t I am pro)ramme( to (eal with it. !elax an( tr&st me. I will see that 'o& are provi(e( with a worl(.-The' sho&l( have warne( me*- 7emmin)s sai(* -be$ore I a)ree( to emi)rate.-!elax*- the ship sai(* He relaxe(* b&t he was terribl' $ri)htene(. Theoreticall'* he sho&l( have )one &n(er* into the s&ccess$&l cr'onic s&spension* then awa%ene( a moment later at his star o$ (estination0 or rather the planet* the colon' planet* o$ that star. Ever'one else aboar( the ship la' in an &n%nowin) state,*he was the exception* as i$ ba(

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html %arma ha( attac%e( him $or obsc&re reasons. 1orst o$ all* he ha( to (epen( totall' on the )oo(will o$ the ship. &ppose it electe( to $ee( him monsters2 The ship co&l( terrori/e him $or ten 'ears,ten ob8ective 'ears an( &n(o&bte(l' more $rom a s&b8ective stan(point. He was* in e$$ect* totall' in the ship4s power. 6i( interstellar ships en8o' s&ch a sit&ation2 He %new little abo&t interstellar ships0 his $iel( was microbiolo)'. Let me thin%* he sai( to himsel$. <' $irst wi$e* <artine0 the lovel' little 5rench )irl who wore 8eans an( a re( shirt open at the waist an( coo%e( (elicio&s crepes. -I hear *- the ship sai(. - o be it.The r&shin) colors resolve( themselves into coherent* stable shapes. A b&il(in): a little ol( 'ellow woo(en ho&se that he ha( owne( when he was nineteen 'ears ol(* in 1'omin). -1ait*- he sai( in panic. -The $o&n(ation was ba(0 it was on a m&( sill. An( the roo$ lea%e(.- B&t he saw the %itchen* with the table that he ha( b&ilt himsel$. An( he $elt )la(. -.o& will not %now* a$ter a little while*- the ship sai(* -that I am $ee(in) 'o& 'o&r own b&rie( memories.-I haven4t tho&)ht o$ that ho&se in a cent&r'*- he sai( won(erin)l'0 entrance(* he ma(e o&t his ol( electric (rip co$$ee pot with the box o$ paper $ilters besi(e it. This is the ho&se where <artine an( I live(* he reali/e(. -<artine:- he sai( alo&(. -I4m on the phone*- <artine sai( $rom the livin) room. The ship sai(* -I will c&t in onl' when there is an emer)enc'. I will be monitorin) 'o&* however* to be s&re 'o& are in a satis$actor' state. 6on4t be a$rai(.-T&rn (own the ri)ht rear b&rner on the stove*- <artine calle(. He co&l( hear her an( 'et not see her. He ma(e his wa' $rom the %itchen thro&)h the (inin) room an( into the livin) room. At the "5* <artine stoo( in rapt conversation with her brother0 she wore shorts an( she was bare$oot. Thro&)h the

$ront win(ows o$ the livin) room he co&l( see the street0 a commercial vehicle was tr'in) to par%* witho&t s&ccess.

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

It4s a warm (a'* he tho&)ht. I sho&l( t&rn on the air con(itioner. He seate( himsel$ on the ol( so$a as <artine contin&e( her "5 conversation* an( he $o&n( himsel$ )a/in) at his most cherishe( possession* a $rame( poster on the wall above <artine: +ilbert helton4s -5at 5re((' a's- (rawin) in which 5re((' 5rea% sits with his cat on his lap* an( 5at 5re((' is tr'in) to sa'* - pee( %ills*- b&t he is so wire( on spee(, he hol(s in his han( ever' %in( o$ amphetamine tablet* pill* spans&le* an( caps&le that exists,that he can4t sa' it* an( the cat is )rittin) his teeth an( wincin) in a mixt&re o$ (isma' an( (is)&st. The poster is si)ne( b' +ilbert helton himsel$0 7emmin)s4s best $rien( !a' Torrance )ave it to him an( <artine as a we((in) present. It is worth tho&san(s. It was si)ne( b' the artist bac% in the 3=>?s. Lon) be$ore either "ictor 7emmin)s or <artine live(. I$ we ever r&n o&t o$ mone'* 7emmin)s tho&)ht to himsel$* we co&l( sell the poster. It was not a poster0 it was the poster. <artine a(ore( it. The 5ab&lo&s 5&rr' 5rea% Brothers, $rom the )ol(en a)e o$ a lon),a)o societ'. #o won(er he love( <artine so0 she hersel$ love( bac%* love( the bea&ties o$ the worl(* an( treas&re( an( cherishe( them as she treas&re( an( cherishe( him0 it was a protective love that no&rishe( b&t (i( not sti$le. It ha( been her i(ea to $rame the poster0 he wo&l( have tac%e( it &p on the wall* so st&pi( was he. -Hi*- <artine sai(* o$$ the "5 now. -1hat are 'o& thin%in)2- -@&st that 'o& %eep alive what 'o& love*- he sai(. -I thin% that4s what 'o&4re s&ppose( to (o*- <artine sai(. -Are 'o& rea(' $or (inner2 Open some re( wine* a cabernet.-1ill an 4?A (o2- he sai(* stan(in) &p0 he $elt* then* li%e ta%in) hol( o$ his wi$e an( h&))in) her. -Either an 4?A or a 43B.- he trotte( past him* thro&)h the (inin) room an( into the %itchen. +oin) (own into the cellar* he be)an to search amon) the bottles* which* o$ co&rse* la' $lat. <&st' air an( (ampness0 he li%e( the smell o$ the cellar* b&t then he notice( the re(woo( plan%s l'in) hal$,b&rie( in the (irt an( he tho&)ht* I %now I4ve )ot to )et a concrete slab po&re(. He $or)ot abo&t the wine an( went over to the $ar comer* where the (irt was pile( hi)hest0 ben(in) (own* he po%e( at a boar(. ..he po%e( with a trowel an( then he tho&)ht* 1here (i( I )et this trowel2 I (i(n4t have it a min&te a)o. The boar( cr&mble( a)ainst the trowel. This whole ho&se is collapsin)* he reali/e(.

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Christ sa%e. I better tell <artine. +oin) bac% &pstairs* the wine $or)otten* he starte( to sa' to her that the $o&n(ations o$ the ho&se were (an)ero&sl' (eca'e(* b&t <artine was nowhere in si)ht. An( nothin) coo%e( on the stove,no pots* no pans. Ama/e(* he p&t his han( on the stove an( $o&n( it col(. 1asn4t she 8&st now coo%in)2 he as%e( himsel$. -<artine:- he sai( lo&(l'. #o response. Except $or himsel$* the ho&se was empt'. Empt'* he tho&)ht* an( collapsin). Oh m' +o(. He seate( himsel$ at the %itchen table an( $elt the chair )ive sli)htl' &n(er him0 it (i( not )ive m&ch* b&t he $elt it0 he $elt the sa))in). I4m a$rai(* he tho&)ht. 1here (i( she )o2 He ret&rne( to the livin) room. <a'be she went next (oor to borrow some spices or b&tter or somethin)* he reasone(. #onetheless* panic now $ille( him. He loo%e( at the poster. It was &n$rame(. An( the e()es ha( been tom. I %now she $rame( it* he tho&)ht0 he ran across the room to it* to examine it closel'. 5a(e(. ..the artist4s si)nat&re ha( $a(e(0 he co&l( scarcel' ma%e it o&t. he insiste( on $ramin) it an( &n(er )lare,$ree* re$lection,$ree )lass. B&t it isn4t $rame( an( it4s tom: The most precio&s thin) we own: &((enl' he $o&n( himsel$ cr'in). It ama/e( him* his tears. <artine is )one0 the poster is (eteriorate(0 the ho&se is cr&mblin) awa'0 nothin) is coo%in) on the stove. This is terrible* he tho&)ht. An( I (on4t &n(erstan( it. The ship &n(erstoo( it. The ship ha( been care$&ll' monitorin) "ictor 7emmin)s4s brain wave patterns* an( the ship %new that somethin) ha( )one wron). The wave,$orms showe( a)itation an( pain. I m&st )et him o&t o$ this $ee(,circ&it or I will %ill him* the ship (eci(e(. 1here (oes the $law lie2 it as%e( itsel$.

1orr' (ormant in the man0 &n(erl'in) anxieties. Perhaps i$ I intensi$' the si)nal. I will &se the same so&rce* b&t amp &p the char)e. 1hat has happene( is that massive s&bliminal insec&rities have ta%en possession o$ him0 the $a&lt is not mine* b&t lies* instea(* in his ps'cholo)ical ma%e&p.

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ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

I will tr' an earlier perio( in his li$e* the ship (eci(e(. Be$ore the ne&rotic anxieties )ot lai( (own. In the bac%'ar(* "ictor scr&tini/e( a bee that ha( )otten itsel$ trappe( in a spi(er4s web. The spi(er wo&n( &p the bee with )reat care. That4s wron)* "ictor tho&)ht. I4ll let the bee loose. !eachin) &p* he too% hol( o$ the encaps&late( bee* (rew it $rom the web* an(* scr&tini/in) it care$&ll'* be)an to &nwrap it. The bee st&n) him0 it $elt li%e a little patch o$ $lame. 1h' (i( it stin) me2 he won(ere(. I was lettin) it )o. He went in(oors to his mother an( tol( her* b&t she (i( not listen0 she was watchin) television. His $in)er h&rt where the bee ha( st&n) &p* b&t* more important* he (i( not &n(erstan( wh' the bee wo&l( attac% its resc&er. I won4t (o that a)ain* he sai( to himsel$. -P&t some Bactine on it*- his mother sai( at last* ro&se( $rom watchin) the T". He ha( be)&n to cr'. It was &n$air. It ma(e no sense. He was perplexe( an( (isma'e( an( he $elt a hatre( towar( small livin) thin)s* beca&se the' were (&mb. The' (i(n4t have an' sense. He le$t the ho&se* pla'e( $or a time on his swin)s* his sli(e* in his san(box* an( then he went into the )ara)e beca&se he hear( a stran)e $lappin)* whirrin) so&n(* li%e a %in( o$ $an. Insi(e the )loom' )ara)e* he $o&n( that a bir( was $l&tterin) a)ainst the cobwebbe( rear win(ow* tr'in) to )et o&t. Below it* the cat* 6or%'* leape( an( leape(* tr'in) to reach the bir(. He pic%e( &p the cat0 the cat exten(e( its bo(' an( its $ront le)s* it exten(e( its 8aws an( bit into the bir(. At once the cat scramble( (own an( ran o$$ with the still,$l&tterin) bir(. "ictor ran into the ho&se. -6or%' ca&)ht a bir(:- he tol( his mother. -That )o((am cat.- His mother too% the broom $rom the closet in the %itchen an( ran o&tsi(e* tr'in) to $in( 6or%'. The cat ha( conceale( itsel$ &n(er the bramble b&shes0 she co&l( not reach it with the broom. -I4m )oin) to )et ri( o$ that cat*- his mother sai(.

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html "ictor (i( not tell her that he ha( arran)e( $or the cat to catch the bir(0 he watche( in silence as his mother trie( an( trie( to pr' 6or%' o&t $rom her hi(in) place0 6or%' was cr&nchin) &p the bir(0 he co&l( hear the so&n( o$ brea%in) bones* small bones. He $elt a stran)e $eelin)* as i$ he sho&l( tell his mother what he ha( (one* an( 'et i$ he tol( her she wo&l( p&nish him. I won4t (o that a)ain* he sai( to himsel$. His $ace* he reali/e(* ha( t&rne( re(. 1hat i$ his mother $i)&re( it o&t2 1hat i$ she ha( some secret wa' o$ %nowin)2 6or%' co&l(n4t tell her an( the bir( was (ea(. #o one wo&l( ever %now. He was sa$e. B&t he $elt ba(. That ni)ht he co&l( not eat his (inner. Both his parents notice(. The' tho&)ht he was sic%0 the' too% his temperat&re. He sai( nothin) abo&t what he ha( (one. His mother tol( his $ather abo&t 6or%' an( the' (eci(e( to )et ri( o$ 6or%'. eate( at the table* listenin)* "ictor be)an to cr'. -All ri)ht*- his $ather sai( )entl'. -1e won4t )et ri( o$ her. It4s nat&ral $or a cat to catch a bir(.The next (a' he sat pla'in) in his san(box. ome plants )rew &p thro&)h the san(. He bro%e them o$$. Later his mother tol( him that ha( been a wron) thin) to (o. Alone in the bac%'ar(* in his san(box* he sat with a pail o$ water* $ormin) a small mo&n( o$ wet san(. The s%'* which ha( been bl&e an( clear* became b' (e)rees overcast. A sha(ow passe( over him an( he loo%e( &p. He sense( a presence aro&n( him* somethin) vast that co&l( thin%. .o& are responsible $or the (eath o$ the bir(* the presence tho&)ht0 he co&l( &n(erstan( its tho&)hts. -I %now*- he sai(. He wishe(* then* that he co&l( (ie. That he co&l( replace the bir( an( (ie $or it* leavin) it as it ha( been* $l&tterin) a)ainst the cobwebbe( win(ow o$ the )ara)e. The bir( wante( to $l' an( eat an( live* the presence tho&)ht. -.es*- he sai( miserabl'. -.o& m&st never (o that a)ain*- the presence tol( him. -I4m sorr'*- he sai(* an( wept. This is a ver' ne&rotic person* the ship reali/e(. I am havin) an aw$&l lot o$ tro&ble $in(in) happ' memories. There is too

m&ch $ear in him an( too m&ch )&ilt. He has b&rie( it all* an( 'et it is still there*

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html worr'in) him li%e a (o) worr'in) a ra). 1here can I )o in his memories to $in( him solace2 I m&st come &p with ten 'ears o$ memories* or his min( will be lost. Perhaps* the ship tho&)ht* the error that I am ma%in) is in the area o$ choice on m' part0 I sho&l( allow him to select his own memories. However* the ship reali/e(* this will allow an element o$ $antas' to enter. An( that is not &s&all' )oo(. till I will tr' the se)ment (ealin) with his $irst marria)e once a)ain* the ship (eci(e(. He reall' love( <artine. Perhaps this time i$ I %eep the intensit' o$ the memories at a )reater level the entropic $actor can be abolishe(. 1hat happene( was a s&btle vitiation o$ the remembere( worl(* a (eca' o$ str&ct&re. I will tr' to compensate $or that. o be it. -6o 'o& s&ppose +ilbert helton reall' si)ne( this2- <artine sai( pensivel'0 she stoo( be$ore the poster* her arms $ol(e(0 she roc%e( bac% an( $orth sli)htl'* as i$ see%in) a better perspective on the bri)htl' colore( (rawin) han)in) on their livin) room wall. -I mean* it co&l( have been $or)e(. B' a (ealer somewhere alon) the line. 6&rin) helton4s li$etime or a$ter.-The letter o$ a&thentication*- "ictor 7emmin)s remin(e( her. -Oh* that4s ri)ht:- he smile( her warm smile. -!a' )ave &s the letter that )oes with it. B&t s&ppose the letter is a $or)er'2 1hat we nee( is another letter certi$'in) that the $irst letter is a&thentic.- La&)hin)* she wal%e( awa' $rom the poster. -Cltimatel'*- 7emmin)s sai(* -we wo&l( have to have +ilbert helton here to personall' testi$' that he si)ne( it.-<a'be he wo&l(n4t %now. There4s that stor' abo&t the man brin)in) the Picasso pict&re to Picasso an( as%in) him i$ it was a&thentic* an( Picasso imme(iatel' si)ne( it an( sai(* 4#ow it4s a&thentic.4 - he p&t her arm aro&n( 7emmin)s an(* stan(in) on tiptoe* %isse( him on the chee%. -It4s )en&ine. !a' wo&l(n4t have )iven &s a $or)er'. He4s the lea(in) expert on co&nterc&lt&re art o$ the twentieth cent&r'. 6o 'o& %now that he owns an act&al li( o$ (ope2 It4s preserve( &n(er,-!a' is (ea(*- "ictor sai(. -1hat2- he )a/e( at him in astonishment. -6o 'o& mean somethin) happene( to him since we last,-He4s been (ea( two 'ears*- 7emmin)s sai(. -I was responsible. I was (rivin) the b&// car. I wasn4t cite( b' the police* b&t it was m' $a&lt.-!a' is livin) on <ars:- he stare( at him.

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ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

-I %now I was responsible. I never tol( 'o&. I never tol( an'one. I4m sorr'. I (i(n4t mean to (o it. I saw it $lappin) a)ainst the win(ow* an( 6or%' was tr'in) to reach it* an( I li$te( 6or%' &p* an( I (on4t %now wh' b&t 6or%' )rabbe( it,- it (own* "ictor.- <artine le( him to the overst&$$e( chair an( ma(e him seat himsel$. - omethin)4s wron)*- she sai(. -I %now*- he sai(. - omethin) terrible is wron). I4m responsible $or the ta%in) o$ a li$e* a precio&s li$e that can never be replace(. I4m sorr'. I wish I co&l( ma%e it o%a'* b&t I can4t.A$ter a pa&se* <artine sai(* -Call !a'.-The cat,- he sai(. -1hat cat2-There.- He pointe(. -In the poster. On 5at 5re(('4s lap. That4s 6or%'. 6or%' %ille( !a'.ilence. -The presence tol( me*- 7emmin)s sai(. -It was +o(. I (i(n4t reali/e it at the time* b&t +o( saw me commit the crime. The m&r(er. An( he will never $or)ive me.His wi$e stare( at him n&mbl'. -+o( sees ever'thin) 'o& (o*- 7emmin)s sai(. -He sees even the $allin) sparrow. Onl' in this case it (i(n4t $all0 it was )rabbe(. +rabbe( o&t o$ the air an( tom (own. +o( is tearin) this ho&se (own which is m' bo('* to pa' me bac% $or what I4ve (one. 1e sho&l( have ha( a b&il(in) contractor loo% this ho&se over be$ore we bo&)ht it. It4s 8&st $allin) )o((am to pieces. In a 'ear there won4t be an'thin) le$t o$ it. 6on4t 'o& believe me2<artine $altere(* -I,-

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html -1atch.- 7emmin)s reache( &p his arms towar( the ceilin)0 he stoo(0 he reache(0 he co&l( not to&ch the ceilin). He wal%e( to the wall an( then* a$ter a pa&se* p&t his han( thro&)h the wall. <artine screame(.

The ship aborte( the memor' retrieval instantl'. B&t the harm ha( been (one. He has inte)rate( his earl' $ears an( )&ilt into one interwoven )ri(* the ship sai( to itsel$. There is no wa' I can serve &p a pleasant memor' to him beca&se he instantl' contaminates it. However pleasant the ori)inal experience in itsel$ was. This is a serio&s sit&ation* the ship (eci(e(. The man is alrea(' showin) si)ns o$ ps'chosis. An( we are har(l' into the trip0 'ears lie ahea( o$ him. A$ter allowin) itsel$ time to thin% the sit&ation thro&)h* the ship (eci(e( to contact "ictor 7emmin)s once more. -<r. 7emmin)s*- the ship sai(. -I4m sorr'*- 7emmin)s sai(. -I (i(n4t mean to $o&l &p those retrievals. .o& (i( a )oo( 8ob* b&t I,-@&st a moment*- the ship sai(. -3 am not e9&ippe( to (o ps'chiatric reconstr&ction o$ 'o&0 I am a simple mechanism* that4s all. 1hat is it 'o& want2 1here (o 'o& want to be an( what (o 'o& want to be (oin)2-I want to arrive at o&r (estination*- 7emmin)s sai(. -I want this trip to be over.Ah* the ship tho&)ht. That is the sol&tion. One b' one the cr'onic s'stems sh&t (own. One b' one the people ret&rne( to li$e* amon) them "ictor 7emmin)s. 1hat ama/e( him was the lac% o$ a sense o$ the passa)e o$ time. He ha( entere( the chamber* lain (own* ha( $elt the membrane cover him an( the temperat&re be)in to (rop An( now he stoo( on the ship4s external plat$orm* the &nloa(in) plat$orm* )a/in) (own at a ver(ant planetar' lan(scape. This* he reali/e(* is L!;,D* the colon' worl( to which I

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html have come in or(er to be)in a new li$e. -Loo%s )oo(*- a heav'set woman besi(e him sai(. -.es*- he sai(* an( $elt the newness o$ the lan(scape r&sh &p at him* its promise o$ a be)innin). omethin) better than he ha( %nown the past two h&n(re( 'ears. I am a $resh person in a $resh worl(* he tho&)ht. An( he $elt )la(. Colors race( at him* li%e those o$ a chil(4s semi animate %it. aint Elmo4s $ire* he reali/e(. That4s ri)ht0 there is a )reat (eal o$ ioni/ation in this planet4s atmosphere. A $ree li)ht show* s&ch as the' ha( bac% in the twentieth cent&r'. -<r. 7emmin)s*- a voice sai(. An el(erl' man ha( come &p besi(e him* to spea% to him. -6i( 'o& (ream2-6&rin) the s&spension2- 7emmin)s sai(. -#o* not that I can remember.-I thin% I (reame(*- the el(erl' man sai(. -1o&l( 'o& ta%e m' arm on the (escent ramp2 I $eel &nstea('. The air seems thin. 6o 'o& $in( it thin2-6on4t be a$rai(*- 7emmin)s sai( to him. He too% the el(erl' man4s arm. -I4ll help 'o& (own the ramp. Loo%0 there4s a )&i(e comin) this wa'. He4ll arran)e o&r processin) $or &s0 it4s part o$ the pac%a)e. 1e4ll be ta%en to a resort hotel an( )iven $irst,class accommo(ations. !ea( 'o&r broch&re.- He smile( at the &neas' ol(er man to reass&re him. -.o&4( thin% o&r m&scles wo&l( be nothin) b&t $lab a$ter ten 'ears in s&spension*- the el(erl' man sai(. -It4s 8&st li%e $ree/in) peas*- 7emmin)s sai(. Hol(in) onto the timi( ol(er man* he (escen(e( the ramp to the )ro&n(. -.o& can store them $orever i$ 'o& )et them col( eno&)h.-<' name4s helton*- the el(erl' man sai(. -1hat2- 7emmin)s sai(* haltin). A stran)e $eelin) move(

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html thro&)h him. -6on helton.- The el(erl' man exten(e( his han(0 re$lexivel'* 7emmin)s accepte( it an( the' shoo%. -1hat4s the matter* <r. 7emmin)s2 Are 'o& all ri)ht2- &re*- he sai(. -I4m $ine. B&t h&n)r'. I4( li%e to )et somethin) to eat. I4( li%e to )et to o&r hotel* where I can ta%e a shower an( chan)e m' clothes.- He won(ere( where their ba))a)e co&l( be $o&n(. Probabl' it wo&l( ta%e the ship an ho&r to &nloa( it. The ship was not partic&larl' intelli)ent. In an intimate* con$i(ential tone* el(erl' <r. helton sai(* -.o& %now what I bro&)ht with me2 A bottle o$ 1il( T&r%e' bo&rbon. The $inest bo&rbon on Earth. I4ll brin) it over to 'o&r hotel room an( we4ll share it.- He n&()e( 7emmin)s. -I (on4t (rin%*- 7emmin)s sai(. -Onl' wine.- He won(ere( i$ there were an' )oo( wines here on this (istant colon' worl(. #ot (istant now* he re$lecte(. It is Earth that4s (istant. I sho&l( have (one li%e <r. helton an( bro&)ht a $ew bottles with me.

helton. 1hat (i( the name remin( him o$2 omethin) in his $ar past* in his earl' 'ears. omethin) precio&s* alon) with )oo( wine an( a prett'* )entle 'o&n) woman ma%in) crepes in an ol(,$ashione( %itchen. Achin) memories0 memories that h&rt. Presentl' he stoo( b' the be( in his hotel room* his s&itcase open0 he ha( be)&n to han) &p his clothes* In the comer o$ the room* a T" holo)ram showe( a newscaster0 he i)nore( it* b&t* li%in) the so&n( o$ a h&man voice* he %ept it on. 6i( I have an' (reams2 he as%e( himsel$. 6&rin) these past ten 'ears2 His han( h&rt. +a/in) (own* he saw a re( welt* as i$ he ha( been st&n)* A bee st&n) me* he reali/e(. B&t when2 How2 1hile I la' in cr'onic s&spension2 Impossible* .et he co&l( see the welt an( he co&l( $eel the pain. I better )et somethin) to p&t on it* he reali/e(. There4s &n(o&bte(l' a robot (octor in the hotel0 it4s a $irst,rate hotel. 1hen the robot (octor ha( arrive( an( was treatin) the bee stin)* 7emmin)s sai(* -I )ot this as p&nishment $or %illin) the bir(*-!eall'2- the robot (octor sai(* -Ever'thin) that ever meant an'thin) to me has been ta%en

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html awa' $rom me*- 7emmin)s sai(. -<artine* the poster,m' little ol( ho&se with the wine cellar* 1e ha( ever'thin) an( now it4s )one. <artine le$t me beca&se o$ the bir(.-The bir( 'o& %ille(*- the robot (octor sai(. -+o( p&nishe( me. He too% awa' all that was precio&s to me beca&se o$ m' sin. It wasn4t 6or%'4s sin0 it was m' sin.- -B&t 'o& were 8&st a little bo'*the robot (octor sai(. -How (i( 'o& %now that2- 7emmin)s sai(. He p&lle( his han( awa' $rom the robot (octor4s )rasp. - omethin)4s wron). .o& sho&l(n4t have %nown that.-.o&r mother tol( me*- the robot (octor sai(. -<' mother (i(n4t %now:The robot (octor sai(* - he $i)&re( it o&t. There was no wa' the cat co&l( have reache( the bir( witho&t 'o&r help.- o all the time that I was )rowin) &p she %new. B&t she never sai( an'thin).-.o& can $or)et abo&t it*- the robot (octor sai(. 7emmin)s sai(* -I (on4t thin% 'o& exist. There is no possible wa' that 'o& co&l( %now these thin)s. I4m still in cr'onic s&spension an( the ship is still $ee(in) me m' own b&rie( memories* o I won4t become ps'chotic $rom sensor' (eprivation.-.o& co&l( har(l' have a memor' o$ completin) the trip.-1ish $&l$illment* then. It4s the same thin). I4ll prove it to 'o&. 6o 'o& have a screw(river2-1h'27emmin)s sai(* -I4ll remove the bac% o$ the T" set an( 'o&4ll

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html see0 there4s nothin) insi(e it0 no components* no parts* no chassis,nothin)* -I (on4t have a screw(river.-A small %ni$e* then. I can see one in 'o&r s&r)ical s&ppl' ba)*- Ben(in)* 7emmin)s li$te( &p a small scalpel. -This will (o. I$ I show 'o&* will 'o& believe me2-I$ there4s nothin) insi(e the T" cabinet,9&attin) (own* 7emmin)s remove( the screws hol(in) the bac% panel o$ the T" set in place. The panel came loose an( he set it (own on the $loor. There was nothin) insi(e the T" cabinet. An( 'et the color holo)ram contin&e( to $ill a 9&arter o$ the hotel room* an( the voice o$ the newscaster iss&e( $orth $rom his three, (imensional ima)e. -A(mit 'o&4re the ship*- 7emmin)s sai( to the robot (octor. -Oh (ear*- the robot (octor sai(. Oh (ear* the ship sai( to itsel$. An( I4ve )ot almost ten 'ears o$ this l'in) ahea( o$ me. He is hopelessl' contaminatin) his experiences with chil(hoo( )&ilt0 he ima)ines that his wi$e le$t him beca&se* when he was $o&r 'ears ol(* he helpe( a cat catch a bir(. The onl' sol&tion wo&l( be $or <artine to ret&rn to him* b&t how am I )oin) to arran)e that2 he ma' not still be alive. On the other han(* the ship re$lecte(* ma'be she is alive. <a'be she co&l( be in(&ce( to (o somethin) to save her $ormer h&sban(4s sanit'. People b' an( lar)e have ver' positive traits. An( ten 'ears $rom now it will ta%e a lot to save,,,or rather restore his sanit'0 it will ta%e somethin) (rastic* somethin) I m'sel$ cannot (o alone. <eanwhile* there was nothin) to be (one b&t rec'cle the wish $&l$illment arrival o$ the ship at its (estination. I will r&n him

thro&)h the arrival* the ship (eci(e(* then wipe his conscio&s memor' clean an( r&n him thro&)h it a)ain. The onl' positive aspect o$ this* it re$lecte(* is that it will )ive me somethin) to (o* which ma' help preserve m' sanit'. L'in) in cr'onic s&spension,$a&lt' cr'onic s&spension

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

"ictor 7emmin)s ima)ine(* once a)ain* that the ship was to&chin) (own an( he was bein) bro&)ht bac% to conscio&s ness. -6i( 'o& (ream2- a heav'set woman as%e( him as the )ro&p o$ passen)ers )athere( on the o&ter plat$orm. -I have the im, pression that I (reame(. Earl' scenes $rom m' li$e. ..over a cent&r' a)o.-#one that I can remember*- 7emmin)s sai(. He was ea)er to reach his hotel0 a shower an( a chan)e o$ clothes wo&l( (o won(ers $or his morale. He $elt sli)htl' (epresse( an( won(ere( wh'. -There4s o&r )&i(e*- an el(erl' la(' sai(. -The'4re )oin) to escort &s to o&r accommo(ations.-It4s in the pac%a)e*- 7emmin)s sai(. His (epression remaine(. The others seeme( so spirite(* so $&ll o$ li$e* b&t over him onl' a weariness la'* a wei)hin),(own sensation* as i$ the )ravit' o$ this colon' planet were too m&ch $or him. <a'be that4s it* he sai( to himsel$. B&t* accor(in) to the broch&re* the )ravit' here matche( Earth4s0 that was one o$ the attractions. P&//le(* he ma(e his wa' slowl' (own the ramp* step b' step* hol(in) onto the rail. I (on4t reall' (eserve a new chance at li$e an'how* he reali/e(. I4m 8&st )oin) thro&)h the motions. ..I am not li%e these other people. There is somethin) wron) with me0 I cannot remember what it is* b&t nonetheless it is there. In me. A bitter sense o$ pain. O$ lac% o$ worth. An insect lan(e( on the bac% o$ 7emmin)s4s ri)ht han(* an ol( insect* wear' with $li)ht. He halte(* watche( it crawl across his %n&c%les. I co&l( cr&sh it* he tho&)ht. It4s so

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ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html obvio&sl' in$irm0 it won4t live m&ch lon)er an'how. He cr&she( it,an( $elt )reat inner horror. 1hat have I (one2 he as%e( himsel$. <' $irst moment here an( I have wipe( o&t a little li$e. Is this m' new be)innin)2 T&rnin)* he )a/e( bac% &p at the ship. <a'be I o&)ht to )o bac%* he tho&)ht. Have them $ree/e me $orever. I am a man o$ )&ilt* a man who (estro's. Tears $ille( his e'es. An(* within its sentient wor%s* the interstellar ship moane(. 6&rin) the ten lon) 'ears remainin) in the trip to the L!; 'stem* the ship ha( plent' o$ time to trac% (own <artine 7emmin)s. It explaine( the sit&ation to her. he ha( emi)rate( to a vast orbitin) (ome in the iri&s 'stem* $o&n( her sit&ation &nsatis$actor'* an( was en ro&te bac% to Earth. !o&se( $rom her own cr'onic s&spension* she listene( intentl' an( then a)ree( to be at the colon' worl( L!;,D when her ex,h&sban( arrive( i$ it was at all possible. 5ort&natel'* it was possible. -I (on4t thin% he4ll reco)ni/e me*- <artine sai( to the ship. -I4ve allowe( m'sel$ to a)e. I (on4t reall' approve o$ entirel' haltin) the a)in) process.He4ll be l&c%' i$ he reco)ni/es an'thin)* the ship tho&)ht. At the inters'stem spaceport on the colon' worl( o$ L!;,D* <artine stoo( waitin) $or the people aboar( the ship to appear on the o&ter plat$orm. he won(ere( i$ she wo&l( reco)ni/e her $ormer h&sban(. he was a little a$rai(* b&t she was )la( that she ha( )otten to L!;,D in time. It ha( been close. Another wee% an( his ship wo&l( have arrive( be$ore hers. L&c% is on m' si(e* she sai( to hersel$* an( scr&tini/e( the newl' lan(e( interstellar ship. People appeare( on the plat$orm. he saw him. "ictor ha( chan)e( ver' little. As he came (own the ramp* hol(in) onto the railin) as i$ wear' an( hesitant* she came &p to him* her han(s thr&st (eep in the poc%ets o$ her coat0 she $elt sh' an( when she spo%e she co&l( har(l' hear her own voice. -Hi* "ictor*- she mana)e( to sa'.

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ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

He halte(* )a/e( at her. -I %now 'o&*- he sai(. -It4s <artine*- she sai(. Hol(in) o&t his han(* he sai(* smilin)* -.o& hear( abo&t the tro&ble on the ship2-The ship contacte( me.- he too% his han( an( hel( it. -1hat an or(eal.-.eah*- he sai(. -!ecirc&latin) memories $orever. 6i( I ever

tell 'o& abo&t a bee that I was tr'in) to extricate $rom a spi(er4s web when I was $o&r 'ears ol(2 The i(iotic bee st&n) me.- He bent (own an( %isse( her. -It4s )oo( to see 'o&*he sai(. -6i( the ship,-It sai( it wo&l( tr' to have 'o& here. B&t it wasn4t s&re i$ 'o& co&l( ma%e it.As the' wal%e( towar( the terminal b&il(in)* <artine sai(* -I was l&c%'0 I mana)e( to )et a trans$er to a militar' vehicle* a hi)h,velocit',(rive ship that 8&st shot alon) li%e a ma( thin). A new prop&lsion s'stem entirel'."ictor 7emmin)s sai(* -I have spent more time in m' own &nconscio&s min( than an' other h&man in histor'. 1orse than earl',twentieth,cent&r' ps'choanal'sis. An( the same material over an( over a)ain. 6i( 'o& %now I was scare( o$ m' mother 2-I was scare( o$ 'o&r mother*- <artine sai(. The' stoo( at the ba))a)e (epot* waitin) $or his l&))a)e to appear. -This loo%s li%e a reall' nice little planet. <&ch better than where I was. ..I haven4t been happ' at all.- o ma'be there4s a cosmic plan*- he sai(* )rinnin). -.o& loo% )reat.-I4m ol(.-

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ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

-<e(ical science,-It was m' (ecision. I li%e ol(er people..4 he s&rve'e( him. He has been h&rt a lot b' the cr'onic mal$&nction* she sai( to hersel$. I can see it in his e'es. The' loo% bro%en. Bro%en e'es. Torn (own into pieces b' $ati)&e an(,(e$eat. As i$ his b&rie( earl' memories swam &p an( (estro'e( him. B&t it4s over* she tho&)ht. An( I (i( )et here in time. At the bar in the terminal b&il(in)* the' sat havin) a (rin%. -This ol( man )ot me to tr' 1il( T&r%e' bo&rbon*- "ictor sai(. -It4s ama/in) bo&rbon. He sa's it4s the best on Earth. He bro&)ht a bottle with him $rom. ..- His voice (ie( into silence. -One o$ 'o&r $ellow passen)ers*- <artine $inishe(. -I )&ess so*- he sai(. -1ell* 'o& can stop thin%in) o$ the bir(s an( the bees*<artine sai(. - ex2- he sai(* an( la&)he(. -Bein) st&n) b' a bee* helpin) a cat catch a bir(. That4s all past.-That cat*- "ictor sai(* -has been (ea( one h&n(re( an( ei)ht',two 'ears. I $i)&re( it o&t while the' were brin)in) &s o&t o$ s&spension. Probabl' 8&st as well. 6or%'. 6or%'* the %iller cat. #othin) li%e 5at 5re(('4s cat.-I ha( to sell the poster*- <artine sai(. -5inall'.He $rowne(. -!emember2- she sai(. -.o& let me have it when we split &p. 1hich I alwa's tho&)ht was reall' )oo( o$ 'o&.-How m&ch (i( 'o& )et $or it2-A lot. I sho&l( pa' 'o& somethin) li%e,- he calc&late(.

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ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

-Ta%in) in$lation into acco&nt* I sho&l( pa' 'o& abo&t two million (ollars.-1o&l( 'o& consi(er* - he sai(* -instea(* in place o$ the mone'* m' share o$ the sale o$ the poster* spen(in) some time with me2 Cntil I )et &se( to this planet2-.es*- she sai(. An( she meant it. "er' m&ch. The' $inishe( their (rin%s an( then* with his l&))a)e trans porte( b' robot spacecap* ma(e their wa' to his hotel room. -This is a nice room*- <artine sai(* perche( on the e()e o$ the be(. -An( it has a holo)ram T". T&rn it on.-There4s no &se t&rnin) it on*- "ictor 7emmin)s sai(. He stoo( b' the open closet* han)in) &p his shirts. -1h' not27emmin)s sai(* -There4s nothin) in it.+oin) over to the T" set* <artine t&rne( it on. A hoc%e' )ame materiali/e(* pro8ecte( o&t into the room* in $&ll color* an( the so&n( o$ the )ame assaile( her ears. -It wor%s $ine*- she sai(. -I %now*- he sai(. -I can prove it to 'o&. I$ 'o& have a nail $ile or somethin)* I4ll &nscrew the bac% plate an( show 'o&.- -B&t I can,-Loo% at this.- He pa&se( in his wor% o$ han)in) &p his clothes. -1atch me p&t m' han( thro&)h the wall.- He place( the palm o$ his ri)ht han( a)ainst the wall. - ee2His han( (i( not )o thro&)h the wall beca&se han(s (o not )o thro&)h walls0 his han( remaine( presse( a)ainst the wall* &nmovin).

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ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

-An( the $o&n(ation*- he sai(* -is rottin) awa'.- -Come an( sit (own b' me*- <artine sai(. -I4ve live( this o$ten eno&)h to %now*- he sai(. -I4ve live( this over an( over a)ain. I come o&t o$ s&spension0 I wal% (own the ramp0 I )et m' l&))a)e0 sometimes I have a (rin% at the bar an( sometimes I come (irectl' to m' room. Cs&all' I t&rn on the T" an( then,- He came over an( hel( his han( towar( her* - ee where the bee st&n) me2he saw no mar% on his han(0 she too% his han( an( hel( it. -There is no bee stin) there*- she sai(. -An( when the robot (octor comes* I borrow a tool $rom him an( ta%e o$$ the bac% plate o$ the T" set. To prove to him that it has no chassis* no components in it. An( then the ship starts me over a)ain.-"ictor*- she sai(. -Loo% at 'o&r han(.-This is the $irst time 'o&4ve been here* tho&)h*- he sai(. -4 it (own*- she sai(. -O%a'. - He seate( himsel$ on the be(* besi(e her* b&t not too close to her. -1on4t 'o& sit closer to me2- she sai(. -It ma%es me too sa(*- he sai(. -!ememberin) 'o&. I reall' love( 'o&. I wish this was real.<artine sai(* -I will sit with 'o& &ntil it is real $or 'o&.- -I4m )oin) to tr' relivin) the part with the cat*- he sai(* -an( this time not pic% &p the cat an( not let it )et the bir(. I$ I (o that* ma'be m' li$e will chan)e so that it t&rns into somethin) happ'. omethin) that is real. <' real mista%e was separatin) $rom 'o&. Here0 I4ll p&t m' han( thro&)h 'o&.- He place( his han( a)ainst her

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

ABC Amber LIT Converter http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html arm. The press&re o$ his m&scles was vi)oro&s0 she $elt the wei)ht* the ph'sical presence o$ him* a)ainst her. - ee2- he sai(. -It )oes ri)ht thro&)h 'o&.-An( all this*- she sai(* -beca&se 'o& %ille( a bir( when 'o& were a little bo'.-#o*- he sai(* -All this beca&se o$ a $ail&re in the temperat&re,re)&latin) assembl' aboar( the ship. I4m not (own to the proper temperat&re. There4s 8&st eno&)h warmth le$t in m' brain cells to permit cerebral activit'.- He stoo( &p then* stretche(* smile( at her. - hall we )o )et some (inner2- he as%e(. he sai(* -I4m sorr'* I4m not h&n)r'.-I am. I4m )oin) to have some o$ the local sea$oo(. The broch&re sa's it4s terri$ic. Come alon) an'how0 ma'be when 'o& see the $oo( an( smell it 'o&4ll chan)e 'o&r min(*+atherin) &p her coat an( p&rse* she came with him. -This is a bea&ti$&l little planet*- he sai(. -I4ve explore( it (o/ens o$ times. I %now it thoro&)hl'* 1e sho&l( stop (ownstairs at the pharmac' $or some Bactine* tho&)h* 5or m' han(. It4s be)innin) to swell an( it h&rts li%e hell*- He showe( her his han(. -It h&rts more this time than ever be$ore.-6o 'o& want me to come bac% to 'o&2- <artine sai(. -Are 'o& serio&s2-.es*- she sai(. -I4ll sta' with 'o& as lon) as 'o& want. I a)ree0 we sho&l( never have been separate(."ictor 7emmin)s sai(* 4-The poster is tom.-1hat2- she sai(. -1e sho&l( have $rame( it*- he sai(. -1e (i(n4t have sense eno&)h to ta%e care o$ it. #ow it4s tom. An( the artist is (ea(.-

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