Season 1

"A Hard Day's Night"

Meredith: The game. They say a person either has what it takes to play or they don't. My mother was one of the greats. Me on the other hand. I'm kinda screwed.

"The First Cut is the Deepest"

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side... is spectacular. It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then theres the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesnt help to get too familiar to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. Its all about lines... drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them.

"Shake Your Groove Thing"

"Responsibility. It really does suck. Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it or we suffer the consequences. And still adulthood has it perks. I mean the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. That's, pretty damn good." "Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers." MEREDITH: "I guess we're adults. The question is, when did that happen, and how do we make it stop?"

"If Tomorrow Never Comes"

"The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under

tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying." "A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. 'Never leave that 'til tomorrow,' he said, 'Which you could do today.' This is the man who discovered electricity. Youd think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I dont know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, Id say it had a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if youre wrong. What if you make a mistake you cant undo. Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it. It can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically."

The self-destruct button

Okay. Anyone who says you can sleep when you die... Tell them to come talk to me after a few months as an intern. Of course it's not just the job that keeps us up all night. I mean if life's so hard already, why do we bring so much trouble on ourselves. What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button? Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way because without it... I don't know. Maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying... Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop. Dr. Meredith Grey: [to Claire] You don't know this yet, but life isn't supposed to be like this. It's not supposed to be this hard.

"Save Me"
"You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be -white dress, prince charming whod carry you away to a castle on a hill. Youd lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa clause, the tooth fairy, prince charming -- they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true." "But the thing is, its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has that smallest bi t of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you dont really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And its not so important that its happily ever after -- just that its happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in awhile, people may even take your breath away."

"Who's Zoomin' Who?"

"Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital -- well, thats a little different. One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the

problem with secrets -- like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything, until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst." "The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not."

Season 2
"Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)"
"I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you she would say 'Say when.' My aunt would say 'say when," and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love. More anything. More is better." "There's something to be said about a glass half full, about knowing when to say when. I think it's more of a floating line, a barometer of need. Of desire. It's entirely up to the individual, and it depends what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless... all we want is more."

Make me lose control

MEREDITH: [to Derek] "It's just... I'm exhausted. My mother is exhausting. What happened to Cristina is exhausting. And you? Hating you is the most exhausting of all. And I don't want to do it anymore." MEREDITH: [narrating] "Nobody likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. Still there are times when it just gets away from you, when the world stops spinning, when you realize your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. It's scary as hell. Except there's an upside to the free fall. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you."

"Deny, Deny, Deny"

"The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth... right in front of our faces." Meredith: We don't do well with mothers here! "Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, and denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing... Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?"

Bringing the pain

Pain. You just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its on. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breath deep and wait for it subside. Most of the time pain can be managed,

but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it... And life always makes more.

Bailey: Its not hard. Its painful. But its not hard. Meredith: Okay, here it is. Your choice, it's simple, her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek, I love
you. In a really, big really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your bedroom window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you... love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at Joe's tonight so if you do decide to sign the papers, meet me there. Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else... Makes the rest of your world fade away, until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anesthetize , ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, and for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

"Something to Talk About"

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need." Cristina: What do you expect, Derek didnt pick her. Shes gone mental. Izz: Meredith, have you gone mental? Meredith: I have not gone mental. Dr. Alex Karev: Hey Izzie! Izzie! Hey dollface! Oh I was gonna ask you a favor since, you know, maybe you're better with people than I am. Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: No. Dr. Alex Karev: But you haven't even heard what. Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: No! No. You're like a broken record. God. You're only ever nice or friendly or anything when it's convenient for you. So no to your favor. No to you. No. Dr. Alex Karev: What's up with you? Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: I put on a dress! I did my hair! I had one night off in 2 weeks and I used it on you. And what do I get? Nothing. No respect. No apology. You couldn't even be bothered to kiss me goodnight. You know what you're a coward and you're just as shallow as you seem. So I am done trying to be your friend or whatever. I'm over it. "At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. They're what you do. Some things you say because you have no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."

"Let It Be"
"For extra credit, Mrs. Snyder used to make us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. Most of the girls were green with envy. I wasn't. I told Ms. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For one thing, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have... Everyone thinks it's so romantic: Romeo and Juliet, true love... how sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, then she deserved everything she got." "Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending... most of the time. And sometimes, despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway."

"Thanks for the Memories"

Gratitude. Appreciation. Giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing: happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful; for friends, family, happy to just be alive. Weather we like it or not. "Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate." MEREDITH: "I feel like one of those people who are so freaking miserable that they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infect the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress." ALEX: A miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress? That's hot. I feel better already. Cristina: Im gonna need a liquor. Lots and lots of liquor. Cristina: Okay, how am I supposed to get through the holidays without liquor? Meredith: Yes. Somebodys here. (to the patient) GEORGE'S FATHER: "You treat us like we're stupid. And maybe we are. But we're your family. Give us an inch, Georgey. Every once in a while pick a car."

"Much Too Much"

CRISTINA: [shows Preston her apartment] "This is where I live. My mother decorated it. I don't do laundry, I buy new underwear. The table? Six months of magazines I know I'll never read but I won't throw out. I don't wash

dishes, vacuum, or put the toilet paper on the holder. I hired a maid once. She ran away crying. The only things in my fridge are water, vodka, and diet soda, and I don't care. But you do. Still think living together is a good idea? "When you're a kid, it's Halloween candy. You hide it from your parents and you eat it until you get sick. In college, it's the heavy combo of youth, tequila and well... you know. As a surgeon, you take as much of the good as you can get because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. Because good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing." "How do you know how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love, or too much to ask of someone? When is it all just too much for us to bear?

"Owner of a Lonely Heart"

"Four hundred years ago, another English guy had an opinion on being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire onto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just means that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have four legs. Someone to play with, or run around with, or just hang out." "Forty years ago, the Beatles asked the world a question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely, the surgical wing of hospitals. As surgeons, we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that, at the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that."

"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"

"There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what fate hand to you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, clothe you, and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world. There you find your own tribe." "It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by friends and family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason that depression rates actually do spike at the holidays.

"Begin the Begin"

MIRANDA: "You just have to know. And when you don't know? No one can fault you for it. You do what you can, when you can, while you can. When you can't, you can't." "Fresh starts thanks to the calendar they happen every year. Just set your watch to January, our reward for surviving the holiday season. Bringing on the great tradition of new years resolutions, put your past behind you

and start over. Its hard to resist the chance for a new beginning, a chance to put the problems of last year to bed." "Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? Its not on the calendar, its not a birthday, its not a new year. Its an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to."

"Tell Me Sweet Little Lies"

"As doctors, we're trained to be skeptical, because patients lie to us all the time. The rule is, every patient is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad. Or so we are told constantly from birth. Honesty is the best policy, the truth shall set you free, I chopped down the cherry tree. Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth... the truth freaking hurts." "No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie."

"Break on Through"
"In general, lines are there for a reason. For security, for clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it? We cant help ourselves. When we see a line we want to cross it. Maybe its the thrill of the unfamiliar, a sort of personal dare. The only problem is once that youve crossed, its almost impossible to go back. But, if you do manage to make it back across the line, you find safety in numbers." MEREDITH: "Okay. The man I love has a wife and then he chooses her over me. Then the wife takes my dog. Well, she didn't actually take my dog. I gave it to her. But I didn't mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him, and that doesn't change the fact that she's got Derek. And my McDog. She's got my McLife! What have I got? I can't even remember the last time we kissed. Because you never think the last time is the last time. You think you have forever, but you don't. Plus my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I have brittle bones. I need something to happen. I just need a sign. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope, and in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today."

"What Have I Done to Deserve This?"

GEORGE: [narrating] "Karma. One way or another it will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up from behind. But karma will always find us. The truth is, as surgeons, we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor. Yet no matter how hard we try we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. I guess we can't really complain about our karma. It's not an affair. It's not unexpected. It just... evens the score. And even when we're about to do something that we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass... well, it goes without saying. We do it anyway."

"Band-Aid Covers the Bullet Hole"

"As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. Just when youve gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts. It knocks you off your feet. If youre lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip of the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal." MEREDITH: [narrating] "As doctors, patients are always telling us how they'd do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home. Its easy to suggest a quick solution, when you dont know much about the problem or you dont understand the underlying cause or just how deep the wound is. The first step toward a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But thats not what people want to hear... We're supposed to forget the past that led us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix."

Superstition
"Superstition lies in the space between what we can control and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it 33 times really help? Is anyone actually listening? Why do we bother doing those strange things? We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers.. and that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju, from wherever it comes."

The name of the game

So go ahead... argue with the refs. Change the rules. Cheat a little. Take a break and tend to your wounds... but play. Play. Play hard, play fast, play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.

"Blues For Sister Someone"

The key to being a successful intern is what we give up. Sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment, that moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. Then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you cant even figure out why you're making. A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.

"Damage Case"
"We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. The problem is trying to control the damage we've done, or thats been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage." "We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can." FINN: "You're driving me crazy with the hovering. MEREDITH: *sighs+ "This could be a mistake. This. Us. You, you, youre a really nice guy and well, you're, you don't want to get involved with me. If you knew me..." FINN: "Scary." MEREDITH: "Finn-" FINN: "And damaged. See, I told you."

"17 Seconds"
"In life we're taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones... gluttony, pride, lust. But the thing you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger is not that dangerous, that you can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior, it did make the top seven." "So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride, and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger is the worst... the mother of all sins... Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does, you can take an awful lot of people with you."

"Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response

MEREDITH: "Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive." GEORGE: "Family" CRISTINA: "Love" IZZIE: "Sex" DEREK: "But we only need one thing" RICHARD: "To actually be alive." CRISTINA: "We need a beating heart." ADDISON: "When our heart is threatened" ALEX: "We respond in one of two ways." GEORGE: "We either run or-"

IZZIE: "We attack." RICHARD: "There's a scientific term for this." ALEX: "Fight..." ADDISON: "...or flight." MIRANDA: "It's instinct." MEREDITH: "We can't control it." IZZIE: "Or can we?"

Season 3
"Time Has Come Today"
"Inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly; outside the OR, however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses." DEREK: "There are moments. O'Malley... moments that in a split second your life changes forever, and before you know it... you're somewhere else." IZZIE: "How did this happen? Why did we end up here? Why am I alone? Where's Denny?" MEREDITH: "You're not alone, Izz." ALEX: "You can get over a bad childhood. You can have the worst crap in the world happen to you. You can get over it. All you gotta do is survive" IZZIE: "Stop talking ... I mean it ... there is nothing to talk about. There is nothing to discuss." CRISTINA: [to Mer] "You're all dark and twisty inside." FINN: "I said we weren't exclusive. Thats all I wanted to say... Oh, and this: I know you think you're scary and damaged. It makes you think you don't deserve good things, but you do. And Derek, he's bad for you. But me, I'm a good thing. And if this is a race, if there is a ring, my hat is in. CALLIE: Four years of high school, four years of college, four years of med school. By the time we graduate we're in our late 20s and we've never done anything except go to school and think about science. Time stops. We're socially retarded. Meredith: I have no story. I'm just a girl in a bar. Derek: I'm just a guy in a bar. DEREK: "You should tell her... Even if it's soonish. You should tell her before it's too late.'' GEORGE: "You mean before I die of the plague?" Meredith: What, so all of a sudden I'm the president of people with crappy lives? "Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us can wants, is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go."

"I Am a Tree"
"At any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We dont have control over most of them. When we get a chill... goose bumps. When we get excited... adrenaline. The body naturally follows its impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course,

sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control, that we later wish we had." Addison: [drunk] I've decided that I'm gonna get really fat. Just as a stop gap, just until I figure out another plan. Eat all of these muffins and I'm gonna get really gloriously fat! It's over. Over. Ooover. I'm talking about the last 1/3 of my life Miranda. How can that be just over. How can that just end? Over a skinky pair of panties and bad tux." CRISTINA: "His mother rivals my mother and that's saying something. Both of them, dark and evil." MEREDITH: "I'm missing dirty stripper Cristina. She was fun and less angry." CRISTINA: "I miss philandering whore Meredith. She was trashy, and much less idyllic." The body is a slave to it's impulses. But the thing that makes us human is what we can control. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed, we can cool off and clean up the messes we made. We can try to let go of what was. Then again..."

"Sometimes a Fantasy"
"Surgeons usually fantisize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant, you splice them open with a butter knife, replace a valve with a hollowed out stick of carrot -- but every now and then some other kind of fantasy slips in. Most of our fantasies resolve when we wake, vanished to the back of our mind, but sometimes we're sure if we try hard enough -- we can live the dream." "The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams." ALEX: "Does it hurt?" IZZIE: "Yeah." ALEX: "Where does it hurt?" IZZIE: "Everywhere..." ALEX: "Maybe it hurts for a reason." MEREDITH: "Enough! This is not dating. I want moonlight, and flowers, and candy, and people trying to feel me up. Nobody is trying to feel me up. Nobody is even looking at me. I'm an intern, do the two of you have any idea how much effort it takes to do all this? I am waxed and plucked and I have a clean top on. And the two of you are looking at each other." DEREK: "Meredith..." MEREDITH: "No, my fantasy is not two men looking at each other." FINN: "We didn't...." MEREDITH: "No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat! I want romance! Damn it, I want to feel like a freaking lady!" CRISTINA: [about Meredith] "She's dating everyone with a pulse and I'm trying to get Burke out of the bell jar." CRISTINA: "Oh look - she's laughing. Because he made a joke, which probably wasn't funny. Ohhh, you funny vet!"

CRISTINA: [to Mer] "You had a dream about the both of them. Threesome? Nice! Just when I think you're boring, you rise."

"What I Am"
MIRANDA: "You know as well as I do it's not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It's about having people in your life that you love and who love you... that's all that matters." DENNY: [message / voiceover] "... It turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. The stakes are painful. But they're the only way to find out who you really are. I know who I am now. And I know what I want. I've got the love of my life, a new heart and I want you guys to get on the next plane out here and meet my girl. Everything's going to be different now, I promise. From here on out, nothing's ever going to be the same. I love you, bye." DEREK: "You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn't complicate your life. Somebody who won't hurt you. He's the better guy. [pauses] Finn's the better guy." MEREDITH: "Derek?" DEREK: "I'm walking away."

"Oh, The Guilt"

"First, do no harm. As doctors, we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens and then guilt happens. And there is no oath for how to deal with that. Guilt never goes anywhere on its own, it brings its friends - doubt and insecurity." "We are left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on."

"Let the Angels Commit"

"To make it -- really make it -- as a surgeon, it takes major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel and make a cut that may or may not do more damage than good. It's all about being committed, because if we're not? We have no business picking up that scalpel in the first place." "There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make, true commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully."

"Where The Boys Are"

"The truth with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the source of the injury - and once youve found it, try like hell to heal that sucker." CRISTINA: "Prestons do not go into the woods. A guy named Preston is gonna get his ass kicked by a squirrel." MEREDITH: "Number one: No flirting. Second: No talking about Derek and C: No giving me the face." MARK: "The face?" MEREDITH: "The McSteamy face. Doesn't work on me. I'm immune." MARK: "If I'd gone off to the woods, I would've invited you to keep me warm." MEREDITH: "Breaking rules 1, 2 and 3." BURKE: You have high standards. GEORGE: You have high standards. BURKE: Your standards are too high. You make people out to be People make mistakes... Your standards are too high. You see a flaw, you attack. People are human, OMalley. Try to remember that. Cristina and I are a team. We are a team. You're either part of a team or you play alone for the rest of your life. "As surgeons, we are trained to look for disease. Sometimes the problem is easily detected, most of the time we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface looking for any sign of trouble. Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell a whole other story."

"Staring at the Sun"

MEREDITH: "Today is the day dark and twisty Meredith disappears forever!" MEREDITH: "You're probably not gonna want to be friends with me anymore, because the sheer intensity of my happiness will make my teeth hurt, but that's okay, because life is good. Life is good! MEREDITH: "Well, with parents like that she didn't have it easy to begin with." MIRANDA: "People do the best they can, Dr. Grey." CRISTINA: "Your dad better get something interesting wrong with him real fast." GEORGE: "You are sick. You are a sick, horrible person!" MEREDITH: "I don't think I'm cut out for the whole bright and shiny thing." DEREK: "Me neither. We can be dull and lifeless together." MEREDITH: "I'm glad you're in my bathtub at least." DEREK: "Me too."

"From a Whisper to a Scream"

CRISTINA: [narrating] "As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories. Sexual histories. Confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a ten-blade, and every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets, we have to, but not all secrets can be kept." CRISTINA: [narrating] "In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait."

"Don't Stand So Close to Me"

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need." MEREDITH: [to Susan Grey] "I'm sorry. You are very nice. You both seem so very nice. But I don't know you. And you're not my family." CRISTINA: [to George] "Could you stop looking at me like that? It's creepy and it makes me feel like you haven't been fed." MEREDITH: "He's not talking to you?" CRISTINA: "No, I'm not talking to him either." MEREDITH: "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" CRISTINA: "Stop asking me." MEREDITH: "Making an effort here." CRISTINA: "Please don't." CRISTINA: "Why can't you just mind your own business, you know? What is your problem?" MEREDITH: "You're my sister. You're my family. You're all I've got." CRISTINA: "I'm so tired." MEREDITH: "I know. Me too."

"Six Days (Part I and II)"

ADDISON: "If you say something wrong, then you apologize." PRESTON: "I didn't do anything wrong." ADDISON: "Did she?" PRESTON: "She doesn't seem to think so."

ADDISON: "That's pathetic." MEREDITH: "You're the messy one." CRISTINA: "No, no, my apartment's messy, my locker's messy, but I am not messy. Sometimes you have like food and stuff in your hair." IZZIE: "Food. Band-aids on your face. I still can see that indentation from the nose strip you were wearing last night." MEREDITH: "How am I related to that man?" CRISTINA: "What do you mean?" MEREDITH: "Look at him. He's a mess." IZZIE: "Yeah?" MEREDITH: "He's a disaster. He's a stumbling, mumbling, clumsy disaster, with whom I have absolutely nothing in common. Not one thing." IZZIE: "I hate to break this to you." MEREDITH: "What?" CRISTINA: "You do your own share of stammering yourself. IZZIE: "Yeah, that nervous talking you do? It's actually a lot like him." CRISTINA: "Uh-huh. Uh-huh." MEREDITH: "No, it's not." MEREDITH: [to Christina] "You're in a relationship without words." [to Izzie] "And you're a millionaire in twenty dollar shoes. Whatever!"

"Great Expectations"
MIRANDA: "These are your letters of support for my free clinic. Sign them." PRESTON: "Why do you want this clinic so badly?" DEREK: "You're a surgeon." MIRANDA: "Because I need something more. I know you all have your messy love lives and your secrets and your silliness, but I want more. I need something to hold on to. I need a reason to believe that medicine can do more than stitch you up and send you away. I need to believe that medicine can not only save lives, but change lives! I need... I need... to believe in something the way I used to believe in you all. Sign the papers! Sign the papers." ADDISON: "Mark Sloan, Chief of Surgery. That makes me vomit a little in my mouth." CALLIE: "How's George?" CRISTINA: "Dealing, I guess." CALLIE: "He sure has a voracious appetite." CRISTINA: "Some people bake. Others eat." CALLIE: "No no no. I don't mean that kind of appetite. I mean the other appetite." CRISTINA: "Oh okay. We're not friends. You and I. We're not friends, so please don't talk to me about what George eats." CALLIE: "I was just concerned and I thought you'd be concerned, but you know what? Forget it. I don't like you." CRISTINA: "Oh. Now my feelings are hurt."

IZZIE: "George has turned into a sex machine. Are you hearing me? A machine of sex! We have to do something. What's wrong with you people?" MEREDITH: "Derek kept me up all night with his ranting. Cristina and Burke still are not speaking to each other." CRISTINA: "Okay, you know what? I'm fine. I mean I'm just not going to be the first one talking. He has to talk because I'm in the right. Talking first is for losers, and I'm winning." MEREDITH: "And Alex. I don't know what's wrong with Alex." ALEX: "I'm good. I'm all good." GEORGE: "Why are you trying to make this about you?" IZZIE: "It's not about me! It's about me wanting to talk to you about you needing so much sex your girlfriend's vagina's broken." MEREDITH: [to Cristina, then Preston] "You're enjoying your meal at the International House of Silence. Burke, you have to feed Cristina. She doesn't cook and she will starve to death." CRISTINA: "I have cereal!" MEREDITH: "You two live together, someone has to be the first to speak." PRESTON: "I am giving a dinner party. If she wants to sit there, she can sit there. Let's just enjoy our evening and talk about something else." "We all think were going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives." DEREK: "From now on, you can expect that I'm gonna show up. Even if I yell. Even if you yell. I'm always gonna show up. Okay?" MEREDITH: "Okay." "No one believes that their life will turn out just kind of okay. We all think we are going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go. And then... we get there."

"Wishin' and Hopin

ELLIS: "What happened to you?" MEREDITH: "What do you mean?" ELLIS: "You're happy? You're happy now? The Meredith I knew was a force of nature. Passionate, focused, a fighter. What happened to you? You've gone soft! Stammering about a boyfriend and saying you're waiting to be inspired. You're waiting for inspiration? Are you kidding me?! I have a disease for which there is no cure, I think that would be inspiration enough! Listen to me, Meredith. Anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy! But not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life. I raised you to be an extraordinary human being, so imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you are no more than... ordinary! What happened to you?!" MEREDITH: [to Ellis] "You think that I like making these decisions for you? You think it's fun to get calls from the nursing home asking whether I was planning on giving the nurse, who changes you every morning a Christmas tip?

But I do it. Because you have managed to alienate everybody else in your life and I am the only one, so I have to step up and do it. You wanna know why I'm so unfocused? So ordinary? You wanna know what happened to me? You! You happened to me!" "As surgeons, we live in a world of worse case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesnt happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs and suddenly best case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then something amazing happens, and against our better judgment we start to have hope." "As doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what our patients really want to know is - will the pain go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What our patients really want to know is - is there hope? But, inevitably, there are times when you find yourself in the worst case scenario. When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we've got left."

"Walk On Water"/ Drowning on Dry Land"

"Disappearances happen in science. Disease can suddenly fade away, tumors go missing, and we open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained. Its rare, but it happens. We call it mis -diagnosis. Say we never saw it in the first place, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didnt know we had disappears... do we miss it?" MEREDITH: "I'm a surgeon. I do the rescuing. You are not my knight in shining whatever." DEREK: "So we're gonna fight because I pulled you out of the tub." MEREDITH: "You have a place. You could sleep at it. And then you don't have to pull me out of the bathtub. You're everywhere, all the time, saying things." DEREK: "This is the happy ever after part. And in the happily ever after, the guy is there all the time, saying things and the girls love it!" MEREDITH: "Go to work, I'll see you there." DEREK: "And just for the record? I am your knight in shining whatever." MEREDITH: "You ever feel like youre disappearing?" IZZIE: "All the time." MEREDITH: "Why cant I just be the happily ever after person? Why cant I believe in that?" IZZIE: "I dont know what I believe in anymore." "Like I said, disappearances happen. Pains go phantom. Blood stops running and people, people fade away. There's more I have to say, so much more, but... I disappeared."

"Some Kind of Miracle"

MEREDITH: "I was swimming. I was fighting. Then I thought, just for a second, I thought Whats the point? And then I let go. I stopped fighting. Dont tell anybody." RICHARD: *to Ellis+ "Youve been gone a long time. And I know you think you died when the Alzheimers started. I

know its a relief to you. I know. But it doesnt feel like a relief to me. Im not relieved. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss talking to you. I miss you... I dyed my hair. For the ladies." ELLIS: "Meredith... you are anything but ordinary." DYLAN: "Meredith... This is not your brain on drugs. This is death. You are dead. You are really freaking dead. You're dirt nap dead. No more 'you' dead." "At the end of a day like this, when so many prayers are answered and so many arent, we take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap and sometimes, against all odds, against all logic, we touch."

"Scars and Souvenirs"

"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers." "What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again."

"My Favorite Mistake"

"Surgeons always have a plan. Where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But, even with the best plans complications can arise, things can go wrong. And suddenly you're caught with your pants down." ALEX: "What's her problem?" CRISTINA: "Still drunk." MARK: "What do do you consider your weaknesses?" ADDISON: "I don't have any. I'm that good. What are yours?" MARK: "I'm an easy mark for evil redheads."

"The thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected, so when we're thrown a curve ball, whether its in the O.R. or in life, we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to plan B, and make the best of it. And sometimes what we want is exactly what we need. But sometimes, sometimes what we need is a new plan."

"Time After Time"

"A patient's history is as important as their symptoms. It's what helps us decide if heart burn's a heart attack... if a headache's a tumor. Sometimes patients will try to re-write their own histories. They'll claim they don't smoke, or

forget to mention certain drugs... which in surgery can be the kiss of death. We can ignore it all we want, but our history eventually always comes back to haunt us." "Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us... what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history were making today."

"Desire"
"As interns, we know what we want, to become surgeons. And we'll do anything to get there. Suffer through killer exam, endure 100-hour weeks, Stand for hours on end in operating rooms, you name it, we'll do it." "Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want."

"The Other Side of This Life"

"The dream is this - that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals - find the guy, finish our internship, that's the dream. Then we get there. And if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because, if this is the dream, then we'd like to wake up. Now, please!" "Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all."

"Didn't We Almost Have it All?"

MEREDITH: "No matter what, you walking down that aisle today. I need you to go down that aisle." CRISTINA: "Is the toilet paper cutting off your circulation?" MEREDITH: "You marrying Burke, its a sign. Sign that people like you and me ... can do this. Be healthy, be happy. You marrying Burke restores my faith in... me." CRISTINA: "Ohhhh I get it. My wedding is about you." MEREDITH: "Yes." ADDISON: "No, I need a reason to stay here. I need a reason to get up every morning. I need to get up and not care if it's raining or that I'm 39 and alone." RICHARD: "That's why. If you need a job to get a new life you even need a new job or a new life." PRESTON: "Cristina, I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you. I could promise to be there, in sickness and in health. I could say till death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful. I am sure. I

am steady. I'm a heart man. Take 'em apart, put 'em back together, hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You are my partner. My lover. My very best friend. My heart. My heart beats for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you... me. IZZIE: [to George] "I am an optimist. I am a fool. I am not sure. Because I'm your best friend, because I love you, if what you want is to be with Callie then I will do everything in my power to support you and help you make your marriage work. But because I'm your best friend, because I love you, I also have to say... that I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. I can't promise a future, I can't promise perfection, because we're us, I'm me and you're you. no one knows what will happen. But in my heart, I am sure. I'm in love with you George. And I hope you're in love with me too." MIRANDA: "You fail your intern test, you have two options: You can walk away from being a surgical resident altogether, or you can start from the very beginning." GEORGE: "Repeat my internship? No. I cant... I cant." MIRANDA: "Did I fail you, O'Malley?" GEORGE: "No... no. I failed you." MRS. BURKE: [to Cristina] "What were you planning to do about your eyebrows?" CRISTINA: "My eyebrows? No... thing?" MEREDITH: "I know I haven't been myself lately, but I'm me again, so I was thinking maybe you should sleep over, because the me that I am is horny for the you that you are." MEREDITH: "Wow!" CRISTINA: "Mama took my eyebrows." MEREDITH: "If you want to break up with me, so that you can see other women, just do it. Don't tell me you met another woman. Just end it, if that's what you want." DEREK: "I can't." MEREDITH: "Sure you can, here's how it goes. Meredith, I don't want to see you anymore. Meredith, I don't love you anymore." DEREK: "Meredith, I do love you. Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So, I'm asking you, if you don't see a future with us. Please... please just end it because I'm in it. Put me out of my misery." MEREDITH: "I... I can't. Christina's getting married. I have to go... to make sure she's getting married." DEREK: "Meredith? MEREDITH: "I really need to make sure she gets down that aisle." DEREK: "Let's go, we're running late." ADDISON: [pauses] "Look at me. Look at me! You suck. To me, you suck. I kind of hate you. But Alex, you do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. And this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could change your life. No matter what her name is, she'll always be Ava to you."

CRISTINA: "Meredith, please say something, say something! I... I don't know. Say what I would say you if you were me." MEREDITH: "Okay." CRISTINA: "Good." MEREDITH: "Got it." CRISTINA: "Good. Go." MEREDITH: "Stop whining. This is your wedding day. You will got on that aisle. You will get married! If I have to kick your ass every step of the way to get you there. You will walk down the aisle and you will get married. Do you hear me Cristina? We need this. We need you to get your happy ending." CRISTINA: "Okay, Im ready." PRESTON: "I'm up there waiting for you to come down the aisle and... I know you don't want to come. If I loved you, I wouldn't be up there waiting for you. I would be letting you go." CRISTINA: "I am wearing the dress. I'm ready. And, and maybe I didn't want to before. But I want to now. I really think I want this." PRESTON: "I really wish you didnt think. I wish that you knew." MEREDITH: [to guests] "It's over. You can all go home. It's over... so over..." CRISTINA: "He's gone." MEREDITH: "I... I don't think he's gone. Uh... his stuff is still here." CRISTINA: "No. No. His trumpet isn't here. His entire Eugene Foote collection, vinyls and CD's. His grandmother's picture was by the bed. His lucky scrub cap was hanging on the door. He's gone. I'm.. I'm free. Damn it. Damn it, damn it! Oh God, get this off me! Take this off, take this off! I can't... Help me, help me, help me!"

Season 4
"A Change is Gonna Come"
In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable. New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase. Innovation is everything, nothing remains the same for long. We either adapt to change, or ... we get left behind. Derek: How is Meredith, anyway? Cristina: Fine. Derek: She's always fine. That's her problem. Cristina: We're fine people. We do fine. We're fine. George: I don't respond to being called a number. Lexie (looking at the babies): It's like a cute festival in here. George: I delievered that one an hour ago. Lexie: Oh, my god. Why aren't you like jumping up and down? George: I've done this before. This is deja-vu. Lexie: Uh.. you know, you didn't pass your intern test, it happens. It's nobodies fault, right? George: Yeah, it's nobodies fault. Except that Callie gave Cristina the study cards and Meredith didn't write anything down and Cristina was planning a wedding and Izzie... Izzie just had to... You know, I'm responsible, I've always been the responsible one, I'm not saying 'what about me', I'm not saying 'when do I get what I want', when do I get to be somebody other than the guy who repeats his intern year, I'm not sayin' that but... Lexie: ... But what about you? George: Yeah! Lexie: I didn't plan on being here. I was all set for an internship at Mass Gen., and then my mother gets the hiccups and I'm at a funeral. You know, we all have problems. Moms die, and dad's drink so much that they don't even know what year they're in and sisters... I didn't even know that there was a Meredith Grey until a coupla months ago. And she -- she doesn't even wanna talk to me. I don't-- I don't want to be here. I'd give anything to not be here. No, to have my life work out the way that I planned and to even have time to ask 'what about me'. So you change, you get over it.(pauses) I'm here now. And you... you delievered a baby today. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself. George (pauses): You... are kind of awesome. Derek: Meredith's mother never wanted her and her father was never man enough to hang around. She has a right to be damaged. And us, together? It's a big step for her. Her best friend gets left at the altar, and all she sees now is, things like this, they don't work. She panics. She wants this, she doesn't know how to have it. And you know what? It's not her fault. So don't ever talk to me about Meredith Grey again because you do not know what you are talking about. And I don't want a friend. Izzie: Don't you see? I'm Bambi. I'm Bambi, George. If anyone in this situation is a sad little cartoon character, it's me. I'm all alone in the forest, all alone in the forest, George. And my mother's been shot by a hunter and where are you? Where the hell are you?

Izzie: (to her interns) I know... I know you didnt wake up this morning expecting this was how your first day was gonna go. You thought youd get to re-attach an arm or observe brain surgery; instead you helped save the life of a deer. You can bitch and complain about it, or you can adjust your expectations. 'Cause like it or not, you are stuck with me and Im the kind of doctor who lets little kids convince her she can do the impossible. Oh! Plus, when I woke up this morning, I thought today was gonna go a lot differently too. I thought I was gonna get the good interns. Instead, I get stuck with the duds! So I'll have to adjust my expectations as well. Callie: What? You wanna humiliate me some more? 'Cause I get it. I suck. I suck at my job, I suck as a wife, I suck all around, so... go ahead, humiliate me some more, please. Bailey: Hope tomorrow's better. Change; we dont like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesnt is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is ... everything.

"Love/Addiction"
In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away. Meredith: We agreed, S and M only. Derek: S and M? Meredith: Sex and mockery. Meredith: Okay, that was a mean thing to say. I'm aware of that because I'm generally not a mean person. But I'm a person who just doesn't want to know you. And you are a person who is making that very difficult. So please, just stop making it so difficult for me not know you. Okay? Lexie: I am a nice person, okay? I... I am and I don't know what it is that I did to you but you know... We have the same dad, so I was just thinking that a simple conversation... Meredith: We don't have the same dad, Lexie. You and I, we do not have the same dad. My dad disappeared when I was five years old and I never saw him again. Does that sound like the dad you grew up with? I kicked a man out of my bed in the middle of the night. The world's most perfect man, who loves me. And I can't let him. And it doesn't take a shrink to figure it out why. Because our dad chose you. So I'm sure you are a very nice girl, Lexie. But I hope you can understand, you're not a girl I ever wanted to have to know. Meredith: Simple question, Lexie. Are you an idiot or a stalker? Izzie: Just because people do horrible things... it doesnt always mean they are horribl e people.

Still, they say you dont kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when youre there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

"Let the Truth Sting"

Doctors give patients a number of thing. We give them medicine, we give them advice and, most of the time, we give them our undivided attention. But, by far, the hardest thing you can give a patient is the truth. The truth is hard. The truth is awkward and very often the truth hurts. I mean, people think they want the truth. But do they really? The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.

"The Heart of the Matter"

Forgive and forget. Thats what they say. Its good advice, but its not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day well be lucky enough to forget. In life, only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes. No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. Youre going to hurt people. Youre going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover... theres really only one thing you can say.

"Haunt You Every Day"

Theres a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels. We like to pretend were hard, cold scientists. We like to pre tend we're fearless. But the truth is we become surgeons because somewhere deep down we think we can cut away that which haunts us. Weakness, frailty, death. It isn't just surgeons. I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet ... our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest.... finally, finally to rest.

"Kung Fu Fighting"
"Theres this thing about being a surgeon. Maybe its pride or maybe its just about being tough. But a true surgeon never admits they need help, unless absolutely necessary. Surgeons dont need to ask for help because they are tougher than that. Surgeons are cowboys, rough around the edges, hard core at least thats what they want you to think." Cristina: Okay, what are your other symptoms? Meredith: Okay..theres the father thing. The mother thing. The sister thing... mmm ... the dying and coming back

to life thing. Cristina: You have too many things. Meredith: It goes away. The feeling. That feeling that you have right now... today... that feeling like you can do anything. That clarity... It goes away. And you go right back to being the coward who cant tell the person you love how you feel. Meredith: Remember when I was dead? Before I went in that water everything was so ... complicated. Hard. and then you pulled me out of the water ... and I came back to life. for a moment everything was so clear. As if the water had washed everything clean. Do you remember that? Derek: I do. Meredith: Me too. Meredith: Theres a clarity thing when you cross over the edge. Theres a moment when everything just melts away and youre fearless. George: Did you only shave one leg? Izzie: (starts crying) I know, I'm sorry!!! Cristina: Being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things. Meredith: And it's not about the sex. It's not... about the sex. It's about that moment afterward... when the world stops. It just feels so safe, so safe. I'm not ready to give that up. I'm not ready to give that up Does that make me sad and weak and pathetic? Cristina : Mmm... a little. Meredith: What do I do? Cristina: I dont know. "Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hard core. But being hardcore isnt just about being tough. Its about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You dont have to be tough every minute of every day. Its okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when its the best thing you can possibly do as long as you choose your moments wisely."

"Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction"

Before we were doctors, we were med students, which meant we spend a lot of time of studying chemistry. Organic chemistry, biochemistry, we learned it all. But when you're talking about human chemistry only one thing matters: either you've got it or you don't. Christina: I am painting Burke's apartment so I can stop calling it Burke's apartment. A happy color. Red. Like blood. Izzie: I love George. Oh, God I do, I love him, and I'm so happy because he's kind and smart and um, sweet and sexy. He's perfect, perfect, except for the fact that he kisses like a chicken. You know a chicken pecking the ground for food, justs pecking and pecking and pecking, and when he's pecking at me like that I forget that I love him, I

forget that he's kind and sweet and sexy and I just wanna scream, "Stop pecking at me!" Did he peck you like a chicken, Mer? George: It's horrible. The sex. With Izzie... horrible. It's like she's trying to hard, it... it's...you ever seen a porno? Not that Izzie's a porno; she's an angel, but it's like she's trying to... channel a porn star and she's trying to act all dirty and sexy, which sounds great, right? But in reality I just wanna say, "Izzie, just because you can do that with your legs doesn't mean that you should." Meredith: Eh... I wanna run. George: Run, run. Run now! Bailey: You want me to Torres: Be me. But, you know, better Be you.

"Forever Young"
Lexie: I never knew what to say to them. In high school. Kids like him. They were always so... separate from the rest of us, you know, alone. It wasn't like that for me. I was prom queen and class valedictorian. Izzie: Yeah, I wouldn't broadcast that. There comes a point in your life, when youre officially an adult. Suddenly, youre old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up? Meredith: Im awkward and freaky. In some ways we grow up; we have families... we get married, divorced... but for the most part we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling... forever wondering, forever... young.

"Crash Into Me, Part I"

We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good. We go into medicine for the rush... for the high... for the ride. But, what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused or failed to cure. The lives we ruined or failed to save. So the experience of practicing medicine rarely resembles the goal. The experience too often is ass backwards and upside down.

"Crash Into Me, Part II"

Miranda: A person can only rise so high. Now I'm rising above, but there's a ceiling and I'm about to hit it. Some days ... the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably, and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again.

Webber: Its good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose. Meredith: I think it's better to have someone, even if it hurts, even if it is the most painful thing you have done, even if it's the most painful thing you've ever had to do. I think it's better to have someone.

"Lay Your Hands On Me"

Bailey: In the beginning, God created the Heaven and th e earth, at least thats what they say. He created the birds of the air and the beasts of the fields, and he looked at his creation and he saw that it was good. And then God created man, and its been downhill ever since. The story goes on to say that God created man in his own image, but theres not much proof of that. After all God made the sun and the moon and the stars, and all man makes is trouble. And when man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself. To love or faith or religion to make sense of it all. But for a surgeon, the only thing that makes any kind of sense is medicine. Dr. Bailey: (voice over)) As doctors, we know more about the human body now than at any point in our history. But the miracle of life itself; why people live and die, why they hurt and get hurt is still a mystery. We want to know the reason, the secret, the answer at the back of the book because the thought of our being all alone down here is just too much for us to bear. But at the end of the day, the fact that we show up for each other, in spite our differences, no matter what we believe, is reason enough to keep believing.

"Where The Wild Things Are"

Meredith: [narrating] We like to think that we are rational beings; humane, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful. But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear we are not better than animals. We have opposable thumbs, we think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream, but deep down we are still routing around in the primordial ooze; biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold, dark world like the rest of the tree-toads and sloths. Derek: I am truly a worse human being for knowing you. Alex: I'm a fighter, but I'm no underdog. Like this guy here. He didn't provoke that bear, his brother did it. Now he's here fighting for his life, paying for someone else's mistakes. It doesn't make him an underdog. It just.. Well, it makes him have to work harder to overcome the cards he got dealt. George: You should have tried to steal a TV. Lexie: I did, they were bolted to the wall. George: Still... Meredith: *narrating+ Theres a little animal in all of us and maybe thats something to celebrate. Our animal instinct is what makes us seek comfort, warmth, a pack to run with. We may feel caged, we may feel trapped, but still as humans we can find ways to feel free. We are each oth ers keepers, we are the guardians of our own humanity and even though theres a beast inside all of us, what sets us apart from the animals is that we can think, feel, dream and love. And against all odds, against all instinct, we evolve.

"Piece of My Heart"
Addison: (to Miranda) Okay, in L.A., people say things, but in Seattle, there's this strange culture of wordlessness, where in I am supposed to guess what one is feeling by the slight raise of an eyebrow or the beginnings of a frown. Any chance you want to tell me what's going on with you, Miranda? Meredith: (narrating) Great surgeons aren't made. They're born. It takes gestation, incubation, sacrifice. A lot of sacrifice. But after all the blood and guts and gooey stuff is washed away, that surgeon you become: totally worth it. Meredith: (narrating) Giving birth may be all intense and magical and stuff, but the act itself: it's not exactly pleasant. But it's also a beginning... of something incredible. Something new. Something unpredictable. Something true. Something worth loving. Something worth missing. Something that will change your life... forever. George: You know, whenever anyone says something really funny and I laugh I always look around to see if you think it's funny too. Even when you are not there, I look around. Callie: Did anyone ever think you two were a couple? Meredith: No, because we screw boys like whores on tequila. Cristina: Then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves. Callie: Huh.

"The Becoming"
Meredith: [narrating] It was a good day. Maybe even a great day. I was a good doctor, even when it was hard, I was the me in my head. There was a moment when I thought I cant do this, I cant do this alone. I close my eyes and imagine myself doing it, and I did, I blocked out the fear, and I did it. Cristina: It is not difficult sir... it is simple. Burke is not here. He's gone and he's the better for it. He's winning the Harper Avery award and being celebrated all over the world. That is not difficult. He's out there and I'm here where everything is the same. I still live in his apartment, I walk the same halls of this hospital, I wear the same scrubs. It is not difficult. This is where I chose to be. But sir, when his hand was shaking, I performed the surgeries, I kept his secrets, I nursed his pride... you know it and I know it, he knows it. He knows it and yet nowhere in that newspaper article does my name appear. I am the unseen hand to his brilliance. And yet while everything is the same it is very, very different. Now I'm lucky if I get to hold a clamp. Hahn treats me like... I was his hand and now I'm a ghost. That is not difficult... it's unbearable. Everybody is proud of him... but I'm not... I do not wish him well. Erica: I don't... make friends easily. I'm awkward and am bad at small talk and generally don't like people I don't know... but I made friends with you and now you have this thing and that thing is Sloan. Callie: Are you mad that I'm sleeping with Mark Sloan? Erica: I'm not mad you're sleeping with Sloan. I'm mad that you didn't tell me that you're sleeping with Sloan. I'm mad at you. Because instead of telling me and admitting that you're one of those girls who goes all pouffy when she gets a boyfriend, you disappear with your thing ... I don't make friends easily.

Erica: So are we on for tonight or what? Callie: Um... I told you I had a thing. Miranda: Just wanted to drop off the form myself... answer any questions you might have. Richard: There are interns on this form. Miranda: Mmm hmm. I require the energy of youth. Dr. Shepherd was a moment of weakness for both of us. Richard: Dr. Sloan? Miranda: Oh that was many moments. On call rooms. It was... very hot. Derek: (to Meredith) If you want me to stay, I'll stay. Dr. Wyatt: Look, I'm just going to say this because your insurance only covers 20 sessions and I feel we should get right to the point. That was a load of crap. It was not a good day, your patient died alone unable to tell the love of his life how he felt. Meredith: Yeah, but he did it for his boyfriend. I mean, I actually think it was kind of heroic. Dr. Wyatt: It's a load of crap. Meredith: Stop saying that! Dr. Wyatt: Look, let me draw the parallels for you. The tragic patient dies alone while the love of his life is literally in the next room. That's you. Meredith: What are you talking about? I'm not dying alone. Dr. Wyatt: Oh. But I think you are, and you're telling yourself you're a hero, when in reality all you are is alone. Meredith: THAT is a load of crap! Dr. Wyatt: If he's with Rose that means he's not with you. And do you know why he's not with you? You're scared. Meredith: Are you calling me a coward? Dr. Wyatt: I think you are very frightened Dr. Grey. Meredith: Are you calling me a coward? Dr. Wyatt: What do you think?

"Losing My Mind"
Meredith: People are constantly asking you to tell them how you're doing. How the hell are you supposed to know? Dr. Wyatt: We had our first honest conversation about your feelings, and now you want to leave. That timing doesnt strike you as strange? Meredith: No, and Im still firing you. Dr. Wyatt: No, youre quitting. Meredith: No, Im not quitting. I dont quit things. Dr. Wyatt: No, actually you do. Your mother quit your father. Your father quit you. You quit your boyfriend and if I read your hospital chart correctly you quit your life momentarily on a couple of occasions. You quit. Its what you know how to do. Meredith: Now youre really fired. Meredith: Not everybody has to be happy all the time. Thats not mental health. Thats crap.

Meredith: Christina... are you in the dark place? Christina: Yeah. Meredith: Me too. Derek: I want to give her a little more time to enjoy it, or the idea of him if nothing else. She was probably a lonely person. She found a way to have love. Meredith: Of course she did. Because thats where love exists, in delusional fantasies. Real love isnt like that. Derek: Good to know. Meredith: Its gonna be okay. Cristina: Wanna bet? Lexie: I don't know how you get up in the morning, I honestly don't. Our dad abandoned you. And your mom by all accounts was the meanest person ever and you can't let Derek love you and it all really, really sucks. But ever since I knew you existed I had this fantasy about my big sister and you have failed, on every occasion to live up to that fantasy. But I still love you, whether you are capable of letting me or not. So, I forgive you. (storms out of bathroom) Dr. Wyatt: (comes out of bathroom stall) 2:00 work for you? Meredith: Yeah... okay. Dr. Wyatt: What happened last year when you fell in the water? Meredith: I almost drowned. Do you think I did that for kicks? Dr. Wyatt: You put your hand in a body cavity that contained unexploded ammunition. Meredith: I was trying to save a patient! Dr. Wyatt: Why is it that every other person in that room had the sense to hit the deck? You know people run away from this line between life and death. You seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wind to sway you one way or the other. Youre careless with your life. Youre not slitting your wrists but youre careless. Probably because your mother told you you were a waste of space on this planet. The problem is you believed her. And if you dont want out one of these days youre going to die because of it. Meredith: Hand me my chart. NOW! And don't ever talk about my mother again. Lexie: I forgive you. Meredith: Lexie Lexie: No. I forgive you. I forgive you for treating me like crap, and I forgive you for letting your friend treat me like crap. Lexie: Are you okay? Christina: Don't ask me if I'm okay. Lexie: Okay. Christina: Ugh, you make me sick. Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don't give a damn what anyone thinks. There are no teams here, no buddies. You're on your own. Be on your own. Derek: (to Rose) See, I've done complicated. I don't wanna do that again. Can't this just be easy? Fun? We don't need that fairy tale thing right now. We just need a little happy. Hmm?

Meredith: Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't. In face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that make us hold it together. Meredith: So, you think I'm broken?! Fix me! 'Cause I'm no quitter. Let's go!

Freedom
Meredith: Where have you been?! I've been waiting and waiting for you! And I did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing. And I was just gonna tell you that, this over here is our kitchen and this is our living room, and over there that's the room our kids could play. I had this whole thing about I was gonna build us a house, but I don't build houses because I'm a surgeon. And now I'm here feeling like a lame ass loser. I got all whole and healed and you don't show up. And now it's all ruined because you took so long to come home! And I couldn't even find that bottle of champagne ... (Derek holds up the bottle and smiles)

Season 5
"Dream a Little Dream of Me"
Meredith: [narrating] We all remember the bed time stories of our childhood. The shoe fit Cinderella, the frog was turned into a prince, sleeping beauty was awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales. The stuff of dreams. the problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories. The ones that start in dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. The nightmares always seem to become the reality. Meredith: And then you know what's gonna happen after he moves in don't you? We build a house on his land, which will be OUR land because we'll be married. And then I'll be Dr. Mrs. Shepherd. And you know what comes after that don't you? Babies. They'll be his babies so they'll have perfect hair, and they'll be chatty. So I'll have five chatty children, a chatty husband, and live in a house in the wilderness. And then I'll start sleeping with your husband. I gotta tell him I've changed my mind. Don't you think? Cristina: MEREDITH! Derek: Are you sure you're ready? Meredith: I'm leaning into the fear to get a happy ending. Derek: I don't even know what that means... Meredith: If I'm going to do this, and be whole and healthy and be a warm, gooey person who lives with a boy... then I need you on board. I need you to cheer me on. Because you're the only one who knows me. Darkly. Really knows me. I need you to pretend that I can do this even if you don't believe. Because if you abandon me now, I will never make it, and I will never get my happy ending and that's just... Cristina: Life. Meredith: I'm saying please here.

Meredith: [narrating] Once upon a time, happilly ever after. The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams. Fairy tales don't come true. Reality is much stormier. Much murkier. Much scarier.

"Here Comes the Flood"

Meredith: [narrating] As surgeons we are trained to fix what's broken. The breaking point is our starting line... at work. But in our lives the breaking point is a sign of weakness and we'll do everything we can to avoid it. Izzie: Eat the muffin, Mer. Taste the muffin. Remember. The muffin. Dr. Wyatt: Yes. Horrible things DO happen. Happiness in the face of all of that? That's not the goal. Feeling the horrible and knowing that you're not gonna die from those feelings...that's the point. Meredith: [narrating] Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down... when we break down... there's no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through. And to a surgeon there's nothing worse, and there's nothing better.

"Brave New World"

Meredith: [narrating] In 6500 BC, some guy looked at his friend and said, let's drill a hole in your head... that will make you feel better. And thus surgery was born. It takes a certain brand of crazy to think of drilling into someone's skull, but surgeons have always been a confident bunch. We don't always know what we're doing, but we act like we do. We walk into a country, plant a flag and start ordering people around. It's invigorating and terrifying. Izzie: People are terrible to the people they love sometimes. They're mean. You were both having a hard time and you took it out on each other. It doesn't make you the worst wife in the world. It just makes you a person who made a mistake. Cristina: We are not happy glowy people. Meredith, Izzy: Yeah. Meredith: [narrating] We like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and soak up new experiences, but the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terror is part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies. We cut things open. Dive into dark water. And at the end of the day, isn't that what you'd rather to hear about? If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity. Now that's worth talking about.

"There's No 'I' in Team"

Izzie: You can't blame yourself. Some people are just broken. I guess you just try not to care too much and you can't be disappointed.

Meredith: [narrating] The thing about choosing teams in real life, it's nothing like it used to be in gym class. Being first picked can be terrifying. And being chosen last isn't the worst thing in the world. So we watch from the sidelines clinging to our isolation. Because we know as soon as we let go of the bench ... someone comes along and changes the game completely. Meredith: [narrating] I am a rock. I am an island. That's the mantra of pretty much every surgeon I've ever met. We like to think we're independent, loners, mavericks. That all we need to do our jobs is an OR, a scalpel, and a willing body. But the truth is not even the best of us can do it alone. Surgery like life is a team sport. And eventually, you've got to get off the bench and decide... what team are you batting for? Meredith: [reading] A new method in treating malignant gliomas ... the Shepherd method. Derek: What do you think? Meredith: It's a picture. A big picture of you. Derek: You're making a face. Meredith: I'm not making a face. I love that picture... I have to go.

"Life During Wartime"

Meredith: [narrating] For a surgeon, every patient is a battlefield. They're our terrain. Where we advance, retreat, try to remove all the land mines... and just when you think you've won the battle, made the world safe again. Along comes another land mine. Meredith: [narrating] Some wars result in complete and total victory. Some wars end with a peace offering. And some wars end in hope... But all these wars are nothing compared to the most frightening war of all. The one you have yet to fight.

"Rise Up"
Erica: No. You. I don't know you. At all. Erica: Easy. There's right, and there's wrong. And this, was wrong. And illegal. There is no gray area here. You can't kind of think this is OK. You can't kind of side with Izzie Stevens. And you can't be kind of a lesbian.

"These Ties That Bind"

Mark: Did she, uh, she say goodbye to you? Callie: No. Mark: You okay? Callie: Do I look okay? Mark: You look great. Callie: Then I'm okay. Miranda: Okay then... she's a little off.

"In the Midnight Hour"

"When you're little, night time is scary because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older the monsters are different. Self doubt, loneliness, regret. And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark. Sleep. Its the easiest thing to do; you just close your eyes. but for so many of us, sleep seems out of grasp. We want it, but we don't know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears and turn to each other for help, night time isn't so scary because we realize we aren't all alone in the dark." Izzie: This isn't real, is it? I'm just gonna keep my eyes close because this is like that moment in the morning when you first wake up and you're still half asleep and everything seems... things are possible, dreams feel true and for that one moment between waking and sleeping anything can be real, and then you open your eyes and the sun hits you and then you realize that... I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed. Izzie: I'm sorry ... I can't. Denny: It's okay. I'll be right here. Alex: Gonna try to get some sleep. I gotta be back to the hospital in six hours. Izzie: Alex wait. I'm a mess. I'm a frickin' mess and I know that and, I ... you deserve better. Alex: Stop it. If you don't want to be with me, if this is too much for you right now, it's okay. But you're gonna have to break up with me, because I'm not going anywhere. I can handle the mess. It's up to you. Sleep. It's the easiest thing to do. You just... close your eyes. But for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp. We want it, but we don't know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears... and turn to each other for help...nighttime isn't so scary because we realize we aren't all alone in the dark

All By Myself
Alex: Listen. You had that heart patient and it reminded you of Denny and how bad you felt when you were lying on that bathroom floor. I get that! I get that you're scared. But you're not going to have to feel like that again. Because I'm not going to die, Izz. And I'm not gonna cheat on you, and I'm not gonna go anywhere! 'Cause, I think you're my best shot at... I think with you... you make me better. You make me wanna BE better. You make me want to be good. And I think I can. With you. I think I can. So I'm not going anywhere, and you can stop hiding. And if you wanna be scared that's okay just be scared with me. Be scared while you scrub in with me on my first solo surgery. Okay? We enter the world alone and we leave it alone and everything that happens in between we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help, we need support, otherwise we are in it by ourselves. Strangers, cut off from each other, and we forget, just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and, for a moment, we feel just a little bit less alone.

"Wish You Were Here"

Meredith (voiceover): We all get at least one good wish a year. Over the candles on our birthday. Some of us throw in more. On eyelashes, fountains, lucky stars, and every now and then, one of those wishes comes true. So what then? Is it is as good as we'd hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happiness? Or, do we just notice we've got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished? Meredith (to Cristina): Hmm.... Well, to some of us surgery comes naturally, others, have to practice. Owen: Seems like you're short of a friend today, so I thought I'd fill in. Cristina: Whatever. Colleagues aren't friends, they're competitors. Meredith: All crimes are crimes of passion. There's always a reason. People don't do stuff like that because they forget it's illegal. Meredith (voiceover): We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we're scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish, though, because sometimes they come true. Owen: You okay? Want to get a drink or something? Cristina: Oh. Oh, now we're on again 'cause the mood suits you? Because I'm the sad little girl with no friends and I tripped your savior complex into action? Usually I can deal with the hot and cold thing, but not today. Just leave me the hell alone. Izzy: What if I dont have anything to wish for? What if I have everything I could ever want? Alex: Then wish that nothing changes.

"Sympathy for the Devil"

Meredith (narrating): My mother used to say this about residency, "It takes a year to learn how to cut. It takes a lifetime to learn not to." Of all of the tools on the surgical tray, sound judgment is the trickiest one to master. And without it, we're all just toddlers running around with ten blades. Derek: You are wearing an alarmingly high ponytail. Meredith: Your mother is coming! Izzie (to Cristina): I think it's nice. Your date. I think you and the pig murderer make a really good couple. Meredith (narrating): We're human. We make mistakes. We misestimate. We call it wrong. But when a surgeon makes a bad judgment call, it's not as simple. People get hurt. They bleed. So we struggle over every stitch. We agonize over every suture because the snap judgments, the ones that comes to us quickly and easily without hesitation, they're the one that haunts us forever.

Beat your heart out

Owen (to Cristina): You should wear your hair up more. Shows off the back of your neck. I like the back of your neck. Meredith: Hey, um did you eat? Let me change, I'll come with you. Derek: No, no, no, I can't. I have to um, work. Meredith: Ok, listen. You have been acting like a basket case ever since I dropped that stupid little comment about babies. And I'm glad I dropped it, because if you don't want babies, or you don't want babies with me and my crappy DNA... just say so! You don't have to avoid me. You don't have to make up lame excuses about work. Derek: Meredith, I want your crappy babies. Meredith: Hah, you do? Derek: All of them. Meredith: Ok, do you wanna eat? Derek: No...I... I... I have to work.

I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Meredith: [narrating] Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to get rid of a shadow,is to turn off the light. To stop running from the darkness, and face what you fear. Head on. Meredith: Oh, Ok. So you're just quitting? Derek: You should understand better than anybody else. You wrote the book on quitting. Running, hiding, you've written a lot of books Meredith. Derek: Because you're incapable of anything that resembles commitment. You lied to me, you said you were healthy. That you were healed. There's no fixing you, you're a lemon.

Elevator Love Letter

Bailey: Tomorrow, do better! Alex (narrating): Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up. Derek: If there's a crisis, you don't freeze, you move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse, and you know we'll survive too. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength.

"No Good at Saying Sorry (One More Chance)"

Richard: You were helpless. You were a baby. A beautiful, smart, funny little girl, and no one stood up for you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

"Now or Never"
Owen: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't know you were here. Cristina: No. Wait, wait. I... love... you. Owen: I... I love you too Cristina: No. Just... I love... you. I said... I said I love you! Me. Cristina Yang. What...You traumatized me. Owen: You know that I am... I'm so sorry about that. Cristina: Damn it. No, not about the choking. It's like you come here, and you pull our my icicle, and you make me love you, and I can't... I don't want to. I can't breathe... without you. Owen: You can do this Cristina. We can do this. All you have to do is just meet me half way. All you have to do is say yes. All you have to do is say yes. Meredith (closing voiceover): Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."

Season 6
Good Mourning"
Meredith (narrating): According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we've done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance. Meredith: You're laughing? Alex: She's laughing. Izzie: [laughing] George is dead! He's dead! They're about to put him in the ground and the priest is doing classic rock lyrics! And that girl, that redhead, is crying harder than his mother and she never even met him! Cristina: You are far more twisted than I ever realized. Izzie: You got married on a post-it! Meredith: I got married on a post-it. Cristina: You guys got married for real! Izzie: I got cancer! Alex: O'Malley got hit by a bus! [all laugh hysterically] Meredith (narrating): In medical school, we have a hundred lessons that teach us how to fight off death, and not one lesson on how to go on living.

Goodbye"
Meredith (narrating): The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. As surgeons, as scientists, we're taught to learn from and rely on books, on definitions, on definitives. But in life, strict definitions rarely apply. In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bear little resemblance to sharp sorrow. Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much. Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away. There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

Give Peace A Chance"

Derek: (closing narration) Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing. The high, the rush, the thrill of the cut. For me it was the quiet. Peace isn't a permanent state. It exists in moments. Fleeting. Gone before we knew it was there. We can experience it at any time, in a stranger's act of kindness, a task that requires complete focus or simply the comfort of an old routine. Everyday we all experience these moments of peace. The trick is to know when they're happening so that we can embrace them, live in them. And finally let them go. Isaac: Go home, sleep on it. We'll talk more tomorrow. Lexie: I wore a diaper yesterday, yes - and I will wear one today. If it helps Dr. Shepherd get through the surgery, I will wear a diaper. My diaper is awesome. My diaper is hard-core. You wish you had the balls to wear my diaper. I'm gonna wear it, and I'm gonna wear it with pride. And if I have to pee in it? Oh, I'll pee. Because I am a surgeon. This is America. And I will do what needs to be done. So you can kiss my hard-core, diaper wearing ass.

Holidaze"
Teddy: You idiot. I have loved you...forever. I have loved you when I was coupled up. I have loved you when I was single. I have loved you every second of every day I love you. I'm in love with you. Meredith: [narrating] Everyday we get to give the gift of life, it can be painful, it can be terrifying, but in the end it's worth it. Every time. We all have the opportunity to give. Maybe the gifts are not as dramatic as what happens in the operating room, maybe the gift is to try and make a simple apology, maybe it's to understand another person's point of view, maybe it's to hold a secret for a friend. The joy supposedly is in the giving, so when the joy is gone, when the giving starts to feel more like a burden, that's when you stop. But if you're like most people I know, you give till it hurts, and then you give some more.

I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked

Cristina: Teddy, turns out she loves Owen and thought she came here to be all, you know, Teddy and Owen, but there's me, and now she's all pained and threatening to leave, and so I told her she could have him. Meredith: What? Cristina: She's an amazing teacher. And, you know, I'm happy again. And I'm in the OR, and I'm feeling like myself. And, of course, I didn't mean it. I mean, I love Owen, I love him. But that means I don't get to have her. So... Maybe I meant it. Meredith: Okay, here's the thing. You can't talk like this. It's like, I get you. But other people don't. So you can't talk like this. I mean, it's crazy. It's like... Um, if you tell someone their baby is ugly. You know? They know it, you know it. Everybody knows it. But you don't talk about it. Cristina: But you're saying surgery, right? Gun to your head, you'd choose surgery over Derek. Meredith: I am saying don't talk about this. And don't talk about it to Owen.

State of Love and Trust

Cristina: Burke was He took something from me. He took little pieces of me, little pieces over time, so small I didn't even notice, you know? He wanted me to be something I wasn't, and I made myself into what he wanted. One day I was me Cristina Yang, and then suddenly I was lying for him, and jeopardizing my career, and agreeing to be married and wearing a ring, and being a bride. Until I was standing there in a wedding dress with no eyebrows, and I wasn't Cristina Yang anymore. And even then, I would've married him. I would have. I lost myself for a long time. And now that I'm finally me again, I can't. I love you. I love you more than I loved Burke. I love you. And that scares the crap out of me because when you asked me to ignore Teddy's page, you took a piece of me, and I let you. And that will never happen again.

Bailey: You are better than this. I have seen you be better. Look, the way to win, the way to beat them is to stop fighting them. You go get better. You be the man that I've always known you to be. You be the Chief. .. Be the Chief.

"Valentine's Day Massacre"

Meredith: [narrating] Medicine is constantly reinventing itself, which means surgeons must keep reinventing themselves. Meredith: You're gonna have to make this up to me with a lot of sex. Derek: Yes, dear. Teddy: I've got a cottage with deer, and a fish and various waxed body parts. I'm gonna be fine. Meredith: [narrating] We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. So we change, we adapt. We create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last.

"Perfect Little Accident"

Meredith: No matter how many plans we make or steps we follow, we never know how our day is going to end up. Wed prefer to know, of course, what curve balls will be thrown our way. Its the accidents that always turn out to be the most interesting parts of our day, the people we never expected to show up, a turn of events we never would have chosen for ourselves. All of a sudden you find yourself somewhere you never expected to be and it s nice, or it takes some getting used to. Still, maybe youll find yourself appreciating it somewhere down the line. So you go to sleep each night thinking about tomorrow, going over your plans, preparing for them, and hoping that whatever accidents come your way will be happy ones.

"Push"
Meredith: They take pictures of mountain climbers at the top of a mountain. They're smiling, ecstatic, triumphant. They don't take pictures along the way cause who wants to remember the rest of it. We push ourselves because we have to, not because we like it. The relentless climb, the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level. Nobody takes pictures of that. Nobody wants to remember. We just wanna remember the view from the top. The breathtaking moment at the edge of the world. That's what keeps us climbing. And it's worth the pain. That's the crazy part. It's worth anything.

Sanctuary
Cristina: Was his world made whole because your womb is not empty and dry? Did he cry like a bitch baby? Cristina: This is very adult. Im really proud of you, Meredith Grey. Meredith: Im proud of me, too? Cristina: Yes, yes.

Death and All His Friends

Derek: [narrating] The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. Love or hate. To be a hero or to be a coward. To fight or to give in. To live. Or die. Live or die. That's the important choice. And it's not always in our hands.

Season 7
With You I'm Born Again
Meredith: Every cell in the human body regenerates on average every seven years. Like snakes, in our own way we shed our skin. Biologically we are brand new people. We may look the same, we probably do, the change isn't visible at least in most of us, but we are all changed completely forever. Meredith: He's fine, we're all coming back to work... we are all fine. Cristina: I'm not wearing white - its sexist and vaguely racist. Dr. Cristina Yang: God, the women in these magazines... Some of them are actual brides, you know, they're not all models. All smiling... It's like the only thing in the world that matters is that they find the perfect shoes to match that dress. God, you know, I knew these girls, I went to school with them... It's funny. I used to feel sorry for them. They're simple girls. They just wanna find the guy and get married, you know? Live. I don't know, I think you're either born simple or you're born... me. I wanna be the person who gets happy over finding the perfect dress, I wanna be simple, 'cause no one holds a gun to the head of a simple girl. Miranda: But um... I'm busy... holding myself together with tape and glue. And a piece of me wishes that you hadn't played golf because... then you'd be all taped and glued too... And then maybe you'd be where I am. You... You're too much for me right now... 'cause I'm busy with the tape and the glue. Derek: Look, this pain? Its not dying pain. Its a healing pain. This is a victory pain. You won. We won. Cristina: I never gave you any crap about your post-it. Meredith: You look beautiful. Cristina: I know. How's Owen? Is he good? Meredith: Owen's perfect. He's perfect. Cristina: Thank you. Meredith: When we say things like "people don't change" it drives scientist crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It's always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change that's up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another

chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.

Almost Grown
Patient: Are you one of those, uh, you know, what do you call them, when someones reall y smart, like a genius, but they are little different, like they dont how to talk to people? Cristina: Are you asking me if I am autistic? Patient: Thats the word! April: I'm not used to failing. Cristina: Neither am I. Meredith: We all want to grow up. We're desperate to get there. Grab all the opportunities we can to live. We're so busy trying to get out of that mess, we don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there. Really freaking cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we're standing there alone.

These Arms of Mine

Cristina: How are you fine? How are you just completely fine? I'm ruined, okay I'm dead. I am wrecked. And you're just what, walking around babysitting me? As if you didn't go through the same thing too. Why are you okay? Meredith: I don't know. Cristina: You know what, you were there too. You were there too with your sad eyes screaming at me to save his life. Telling the guy to shoot you and not giving a crap about yourself or your pregnancy. I didn't have a choice. And you did that. If it was anyone else on the table, if it was anyone else standing there I would have walked away. Meredith: You could not have walked away. Cristina: I could have walked away and then I wouldn't be here! Owen (shoves him into a room): I lost dozens of friends in the field. Dozens. And I have never, never used them as an excuse to quit. You're a doctor, Avery. And that doesn't stop because you're up against a wall. You need to figure out how to be a doctor no matter what you're dealing with and no matter what tools you don't have. That is the lesson you need to learn. You don't get to quit! So, if I need you to drag you outside by the throat, you are going to finish! Cristina: I quit. Owen: What? Cristina: You're right. I can do it, I can still be a surgeon. I just... don't want to anymore.

Start Me Up
Callie: My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy. I'm not playing hard to get. I don't want to see you because I turned my life upside down for you and you walked away because for a week I was cranky. You're untrustworthy, so I don't want to see you. You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you. I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back in my life again you will hurt me again, so I don't want to see you. This isn't a ploy. I'm not pouting. I don't want you in my life. Get your crap out of my apartment.

White Wedding
Meredith: Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.