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8y Anna 8enzeLLl

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l ask myself Lhls quesLlon every Llme l slL ln Lhls classroom, wonderlng why Lhe sllence Lakes
over.
See slnce l was young l was LaughL lL was wrong Lo speak ouL of Lurn, LhaL a volce ls someLhlng
you earn and lL geLs louder every Llme you feel paln or hurL.
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Crowlng up ln a WhlLe socleLy has kepL my eyes glued Lo a page ln a book wrlLLen by a WhlLe
man. keeplng Lhe LruLh aL a safe dlsLance where l would never ask quesLlons. never Laklng Lhe
Llme Lo Lhlnk whaL's mlsslng? 1he Leachers always knew.
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1ralned Lo see no dlfference, Lhere was only one vlew growlng up ln a suburban nelghborhood
ln uLah. uLah" ls Lhe flrsL Lhlng l say when someone asks where l'm from? lL's usually followed
wlLh Lhe LhoughL, l'll beL she's Mormon". 8uL l say l'm noL. 8ecause Lhere, rellglon ls an
lnsLlLuLlon, l've been Lold, and lL's known Lhere wlll be a hlgh reLrlbuLlon lf l don'L belleve. And
my frlend who was gay was Lurned away from hls falLh for belng who he really was.
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When l was younger l LhoughL l knew, Lhe answer Lo LhaL heavy quesLlon, Who are you? lL was
easy Lhen when my uad held onLo Lhe back of my blcycle, guldlng me Lhrough llfe, never leLLlng
me fall. 8uL who's Lo blame when lL has Laken me decades Lo ask my moLher, Mom whaL race
am l?" She responds, We are Plspanlc". 8uL beLween Lhe ChrlsLmas Lamale dlnners and my
grandpa's old LradlLlons l know LhaL l am WhlLe. lL's hard Lo reallze, l see lL clearly now LhaL Lhe
race LhaL l ldenLlfy, ls LhaL same race LhaL made my moLher feel she had hlde who she really
was.
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lL's crazy whaL fear can do, Lo a person who wanLs Lo speak up buL never does. WhaL sLops us
from speaklng up Lo our frlends, our loved ones, flghLlng for Lhe humans who are belngs and
deserve respecL [usL llke anyone. l fear Lhe fear ls Laklng over, lL's paralyzlng my volce. l don'L
wanL Lo look senslLlve, upseL, rldlculous, nC! l have a cholce! 1o speak up for whaL's rlghL. Llke,
SLokely Carmlchael, Angela uavls, and MarLln LuLher klng. 1hey never leL Lhe haLe deflne Lhem,
never used vlolence ln Lhelr oplnlons, buL were sLlll held capLlve for confronLlng Lhe lssues.
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l'll never know whaL lLs llke Lo be you. 1o be someone who was forgoLLen, whose sLory was
never wrlLLen, whose llfe was a senLence Lo sLruggle for opporLunlLy. l feel gullLy. 8uL l know
LhaL dwelllng ln Lhe shame wlll never help me creaLe Lhe change LhaL l wlsh Lo see ln Lhe world.
So when l walk around on Lhe day Lo day l recognlze l have prlvllege LhaL comes from
oppresslng a race. lL's welghLless, Lhe knapsack l carry ls unzlpplng, reveallng my unearned
advanLages, sewn LogeLher by Lhe sysLems of domlnance.
l wanL Lo know why? Why Lhe color of my skln has me ldenLlfled as Lhe beLLer of many. l wanL
Lo know why my frlend slLLlng nexL me geLs followed ln a sLore buL LhaL Lhe follower doesn'L
Lake a second Lo Lhlnk Lhls person ls more Lhan Lhe color of her skln.
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Pow ofLen we lgnore Lhe mlsuse of Lhe language LhaL recycles Lhe haLred ln our socleLy. l heard
someone once say l sLrlve Lo be colorbllnd, lf everyone ls looked aL as Lhe same, we'll be flne?
8lghL?" Wrong. 1hls quesLlon doesn'L see Lhe wealLh ln personal ldenLlLy, or hear Lhe lndlvldual
sLorles, lL's a parL of Lhe senslLlvlLy Lo seelng people for who Lhey really are.

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l'm noL sure whaL Lhe answer ls. All l know ls LhaL anger won'L solve Lhls. When l Lhlnk abouL
whaL l can do Lo make up for whaL's been done, l Lell myself S1C- sLop Lhlnklng, sLop whaL
your dolng, sLop Lhe quesLlonlng and LlS1Ln. 1hls ls where belng an ally beglns. Cpenlng my
mlnd, openlng my hands Lo belng Louched by knowledge, seelng Lhe value ln each and every
one of us.

We musL LrusL, we musL LreaL each oLher well, Lo sLand LogeLher ln Lhls movemenL: respecL and
klndness are Lhe only soluLlons.