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m5The best relationship remedy may | REFRESH YOUR
not be a pricey getaway or couple's | LIFE PLAN
therapy, says Terri Orbuch, PhO. | STEP ONE You can reinvent yourselt, says Loren Slocum,
a marriage therapist and author of | author of Life Tuneups: Your Personal Plan to Find Balance,
a
5 Simple Steps to Take Your Mariage | piscover Your Passion and Step Into Greatness. Design your
From Good to Great. Her surprising | own ideal new life. “Think, ‘What would it look like? Who would
prescription: Laugh together. ‘We're | be in it? What would | be doing on a daily basis?'*
so serious thesedays—especiallynow, | STEP TWO Decide how to get there. If you envision writing a
when people are concerned about | oye), think about enroling in a writing class or dasignating
economic security andjob loss. Buta | 4 comer of the basement as your after-hours writing space.
good marriage isnot just,'Dowehave | STEP THREE Forget the oid rules. Perhaps you tried to go
back to school to become a teacher 10 years ago and couldn't
‘make it work. Don't assume the same thing will happen again.
‘Maybe there's a new grant available. You're in a different place
‘now, 80 be open to new ways to make it happen.
STEP FOUR Make a daily move forward. “People ask me how
I wrote my book,” Slocum says, *! worked oni litle bit every,
YOUR
MARRIAGE
enough money to pay the rent?"" she
says. Not only does laughing together
relieve stress but it also helps remind
the two of you what brought you
together in the first place, So spend
your next date night at a comedy club,
snuggle on the couch for an Airplane!
and This ls Spinal Tap double feature
day, maybe for half an hour.” The key isnt to spend every wak-
ing moment on your goal but just to be consistent
or e-mail him your favorite YouTube | STEP FIVE When you reach your goal, goto LHJ.comlflist
video—whatever cracks you up. to tell us your story and inspire others,
EFRESH YOUR
PARENTING STYLE
You're trying to get things done, your kids won't leave you
alone and you'd do anything for litle peace, Karen,
Maezen Miller, the author of Momma Zen: Walking the
Crocked Path of Motherhood, says the first step toward
‘being more patients to focus an what's happening right at
thie moment, “Children are elways asking for things, aind
you say,
things and they say, ‘Not right now’ It's a message of
resistance and conflict” she says, Because Zen is all
‘about paying attention, Miler's remedy is to give your kids
‘one hour of your undivided attention every day.
‘She sets a kitchen timer for 60 minutes and then does
whatever her daughter wants—often playing Barbies. This
isn'tabout getting your child to do a chosen activity, she
‘cautions, but about following her agenda. If the thought of
playing dolls for an hour throws you into a panic, the timer
will emind you there's a way out. Then you can relax and
ive in. Do this regularly and you may find that children
don't need the full hour and aren't acting up as often. If you
pay attention, they won't have to misbehave to get it. Says
Miller, “Ihave come to view attention as magic elixir”
2 REFRESH
‘Not right now In return, you are asking them