Gods Redemptive Work in My Time at Westmont College Kasey Beasley April 9, 2014 Senior Seminar--Westmont College

Westmont College has truly been one of the biggest blessings God has given me in my life thus far. I have seen His divine hand in my college experience even before I even knew I wanted to come here. I applied to a total of twelve (yes, twelve) colleges and got accepted to eleven of them, which made my decision to pick a school that more complicated. My best friend, Brittney Walker, went to Westmont and raved about the school, so I decided to visit. Upon visiting, I was completely overwhelmed by the fact that I was even going to college, that I could not enjoy the experience at all and vowed to never go to Westmont as a result. God had other plans, thankfully. I ended up visiting a second time for Spring Sing my senior year of High School intent on going to Gonzaga for college. What I did not expect was to experience God so profoundly at Westmont that I simply could not stay away. I learned that when God completely changes your mind about a big decision, you listen, no matter what. Looking back on this experience and my four years at this amazing school, I am amazed at Gods hand of daily redemption and guidance in my life. What Jerry Sittser says in his book The Will of God as a Way of Life, I truly have seen; he says, God will go with us wherever we go because he is God. He is more committed to us than we will ever be committed to him, more eager to guide us than we will ever be open to his guidance (Sittser, 2000, p.105). In reading my mission statement I crafted in Foundations freshman year, I was surprised and intrigued that the things I said are still things I am working on in my life now and striving towards. God has guided me and has been a constant companion in growing me towards these missions. I said that after I had completed my time at Westmont, I wanted to be even more in love with my Maker than I was at the beginning of freshman year. I would definitely say that this has happened, especially recently. God

has been setting me free from bondage that I have acquired from a young age and he has applied His redemption in amazing ways in my life. Through this experience, I have developed a huge craving and love for more of Him. This has transformed my daily life as I learn more about His love for me and has been a truly affirming experience. In my previous mission statement, I said that I want to be exactly where I would end up because I know that wherever I am at the time of graduation is exactly where God wants me; and I definitely know to be true now. I said I want to be bold and confident, loving and kind, ambitious and humble, and trusting and gracious, but also able to give grace to myself to be wherever I am at. I wanted to have taken risks and to have really lived. I wanted to help and deeply be with people, to see the world in a compassionate, informed light, to have better learned how to lay down my pride and give no glory to myself, and to have been a woman who went for my dreams and relationships without fear. I said I wanted to be more true to myself and to ultimately have lived in the freedom that God has given me without shame, and have delighted in the Lord with praise and dedicated work to furthering the kingdom on Earth. And in all things, I wanted to remember the Psalmists wise words in Psalm 103:2 and 5, Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefitswho satisfies your desires with good things (NIV). I have seen God deeply growing me in all of these areas in different ways throughout my four years at Westmont, however, my perspective has changed and I have realized that these are all goals that I hope He continually redeems and guides me in. I said I wanted to have completed all of these things and basically have moved on to bigger and better situationswhat I didnt realize then, but realize now is that God will teach me and guide me in all these ways more and more for the rest of my life. What a

beautiful, kind, compassionate God we serve! Originally, this thought of continually being grown in these areas overwhelmed me greatly, however, now God has blessed me with perspective to view this as a great gift. He will never give up on redemption in my life and He will repeatedly call me into more of my true self. Parker Palmer touches on this concept in his book Let Your Life Speak by saying, Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhoodAs we do so, we will not only find the joy that ever y human being seekswe will also find our path of authentic service in the world (Palmer, 2000, p. 16). My four years have Westmont have obtained the theme of my struggle for identity in this way. I thought I needed to change and be better for God to love me. I thought I always had things to work on and was never good enoughbut I was missing the point. My new mission statement encompasses the point I finally understood: My identity comes from Jesus and what He did for me in dying and resurrecting. My identity comes from the truth that God wants to impart on my life and not the lies of the Devil that I tend to curl up to. Ann Voskamp says it best, I think, when she says, life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change (Voskamp, 2010, p.61). God gives gifts and in return, I learn to give thanks and in doing this, unwrap the true gift given: joy. When I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic of daily life, I make a place for God to then, grow within me (Voskamp, 2010). I am learning that I can discover my true identity in Christ by giving thanks for the routine and whole-heartedly receiving the joy that comes from it. My new mission statement takes all of my original mission statement and combines it with this new concept of identity and joyful service, renewing in redemption on a daily basis.

Choosing a liberal arts college has provided me many opportunities toward discovering this new concept of identity. Becoming liberally educated has meant being challenged, not only academically, but also personally, to stand on a sturdy foundation now and in future life ventures. On this topic, Sittser says, The world will always need disciplined people, virtuous people, wise people. I teach at a Christian liberal arts college because I believe such colleges lay a sturdy foundation for students. It provides them with a broad education that will be applicable no matter what they end up doingIf a college lays a solid foundation of knowledge, skills, habits, and convictions, students will be ready for almost anything (Sittser, 2000, p. 86-87). Westmont has definitely provided me this confidence in being liberally educated, but it has been a process. At first, I didnt really understand what a liberal arts education meant, but after taking all different kinds of classes in every area of study, I get the point. My personality tends to naturally be interested in many different things, which I think is why a liberal arts education fit me so well. To me, being liberally educated means that I am educated on many different areas of study and challenged to take opinions on them to shape who I am. It means that I develop compassion and a deeper understanding for different people of this world and have done the inner work in discovering a little more of Gods heart for His people. One professor from outside my major, as a result of this liberal arts education, that has really impacted my life has been Doc Whiteman, Religious Studies professor. I was in his Contemporary Christianity class last semester, and as a result of taking his class, I gained more confidence in my identity in Christ and learned more about what being thankful really means. He taught me the importance of being honest with God about where you are at and accepting the places you find yourself. Doc was candid with our

class a couple times in describing his experience with having a stroke and what his journey with God looked like after that. He said that often times he doesnt understand Gods will at all and is very real about the doubts he has in his faith. However, he has been through enough to know Gods redemptive power and is able to have confidence in that and in scripture. Numerous times in the class, he would suggest to us how important the act of reading your Bible is to the Christian walk. He pointed me to Karl Barth to read on this topic, Barth says, God has revealed Himself to the world in Jesus Christ according to the witness of Scripture (Barth, 1957, p.1). This begs the question, why do we not pick up our Bibles and experience that redemptive freedom for ourselves? Doc really challenged my thinking on this topic of scripture and helped me to realize how God is at work so profoundly in each of our lives. Doc definitely lead by example himself: every day I would come into class, he would say, Hey, gorgeous! and then ask me what was going on in my life. I would also see him at the Carpenteria Starbucks on Sundays and he would sit with me and affirm me as a woman of God. Little did he know just how much I needed that. At the time I was really struggling with my body image and felt the Devil attack me in this area more than ever. Doc spoke Gods truth to me on a daily basis and honestly changed my perspective on beauty and Gods love to be more aligned with the truth of scripture. Thank the Lord for my liberal arts education because without that, I wouldnt have experienced Doc Whiteman and his wonderful Contemporary Christianity class. In congruence with this class, I feel I have grown so much, in general, in my whole undergraduate career. Two classes that have certainly shaped me have been my Pedagogy class and Special Populations class. I was completely terrified to take

Pedagogy because I have a great fear of public speaking. My fear was so severe that I considered not being a Kinesiology major because of it. Obviously that was irrational and I took the class anyways, which ended up shaping me so profoundly that I am so thankful I took it. Professor John Moore was a huge part of this growing process in challenging me and creating a safe environment to practice the skill of public speaking. He taught us techniques and gave us tools of leadership and confidence that I will take with me my entire life. We read Stephen Coveys book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in which we learned a lot about what good leadership actually looks like. He says, What you do has far greater impact than what you say (Covey, 1989, p. 61). In this way, leadership should be a life long process of learning and growing your actions to strive to be better and more refined in Christ. Covey and Moore taught me that this could only be accomplished by maintaining a humble approach as I am presented with new and challenging situations. The prime example being my fear of public speaking--I learned to be humble and take that challenge head on, learning and developing my confidence along the way. As a result of Pedagogy, I walked away more confident in my identity in Christ and in the abilities He has given me. Special Populations has also played a significant role in growth in my life as well as has the influence of Professor Milner. In this class, we read a book by Robert Murphy entitled The Body Silent, which gave me a peek into what daily life is like for a person with a disability. He says that the problem with being disabled is very simple: You are just as alive as you always were, and what are you going to do about it (Murphy, 1990)? Not only this book, but the whole class was a trip into a new perspective I had never really stopped to take a good look at. It gave me a realization and compassion for people with disabilities is learning to use person-first language and

treat people, regardless of their situations, as people first. This carried over into my volunteer experiences as Hillside House working with people who had disabilities who became my friends. This class also helped me just treat people better in general. We all have things going on in our lives that may be uncomfortable to deal with but the beauty and joy that comes from going through life with people on a deeper level is unparalleled. The most significant growth I have undergone in my undergraduate career, though, is doing the Breaking Free devotional series by Beth Moore alongside all of these influential classes, professors, and experiences. Doing this devotional in community with other women while being immersed in life at Westmont has made my time at this college even more life-giving and amazing. The Breaking Free devotional is all about God revealing areas of brokenness in our lives and using scripture and community and truth to redeem us and bring us freedom through his merciful power (Moore, 1999). Basically, its all about doing the inner work, as Palmer would say. Inner work is arriving at that hidden wholeness by going through inner darkness and arriving at the place where we are one with one another (Palmer, 2000). By doing this work, as I am doing in the Beth Moore devotional, God has revealed my brokenness and areas where I have listened to the lies of Satan and not the truth of the Lord. I am still in the process of God redeeming these things in me, but I am on the journey and have experienced true freedom already. This experience has led me to be more vulnerable in community and has deepened my relationships with God as well as with others. It has also made my undergraduate academic experience more impactful and joyous along the way by growing in freedom in new ways in each of my classes. Going through all these classes and experiences has lead me to realize that I have a lot of areas where I need to grow. I

am working on the skill of being able to give myself more grace when I appear to fail myself (which is often). I also have always known that I tend to have a lot of pride. I feel I dont need other people and pride myself on my independence. However, this ends up pushing people away and impedes healing. I need to grow in overall acceptance of others and myself and realize that it is good and okay to be interdependent with people. In this realization, I have already seen growth in my relationships and benefits of more inner healing and freedom in Christ. All of this inner work and inward growing in my undergraduate career has played a role in growing my perspective concerning character, social justice, and personal wellness. My perspective on character has definitely grown as a result of taking Pedagogy and reading Palmers book, Let Your Life Speak. I have realized that we are all leaders and that that is a big part of ones character. How you respond to your call to be a leader significantly shapes your character. Palmer says that a good leader is intensely aware of the interplay of inner shadow and light. They know that they must face the monsters of their past to emerge victorious as God has promised on the other side. He says that these leaders possess a gift available to all who take an inner journey: the knowledge that identity does not depend on the role we play or the power it gives us over others. It depends only on the simple fact that we are children of God, valued in and for ourselves (Palmer, 2000, p. 87). Being a leader is finding our identity in Christ but also being able to be vulnerable with others about our struggles. It means that we give others the freedom to go on their own inner journeys with thankfulness. Ultimately, I learned that character in leadership means having a mindset on service above all else. In service, I am able to emulate Christ betterthe ultimate servantand am, then, able to encourage

others to look toward Jesus for direction and not take any credit for myself. This means laying down my pride at the cross and taking a posture of humbleness and thanks. My undergraduate career has also shaped my views on different social justice issues. I remember, in Glenn Towns Nutrition class we talked a lot about the social justices that go on concerning anorexia. This really pulled my heart and grew a passion inside of me as I have a lot of experience with this issue. I have a very close friend who has struggled with anorexia for about 10 years. It has been extremely difficult for me and other friends of hers to watch her hate herself so much. We noticed at first when she kept denying food or saying she wasnt hungry. Then she started exercising all the time and became extremely irritable and difficult to deal with. Along with this came constant lying, which was really hard on our friendship. Things then progressed for the worst and she attempted to take her life but was thankfully unsuccessful. Shortly after, her parents put her in a rehabilitation center, but when she returned to school not much had changed, she just became angrier. It wasnt until she completely ran to God to save her and free her that she became to overcome it. Her story is one of hope because now she does still struggle and recognizes that it might be an ongoing struggle, but she trusts that the Lord is and will always be faithful and that Satan will not have victory over her. I have noticed here on Westmonts campus that this issue of anorexia or even just having a poor and untrue body image plagues womenincluding myself. Women need to be told Gods truth about themselves before it leads to deep wounding. In researching this issue, I came across the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty whose purpose is to educate and encourage the next generation to build a positive relationship with beauty (dovemovement,com). Their vision is to have a world where every girl grows up with the self-esteem she needs

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to reach her full potential, and where every woman enjoys feeling confident in her own beauty. To accomplish this goal, they have set up many online tools and workshops to mentor girls growing up in this world to give them the confidence to enjoy and love themselves. This, I truly believe, is Gods heart for this issueto realize our full beauty and identity in Christ and to have confidence in ourselves because the Lord is with us! So many people in this world struggle with this disorder and as a community we need to stop the mixed and corrupted messages of the media and stand up for the truth of the Gospel. God has made us all beautiful and loves us so dearly that He sent His son to die for the sins of this world. The least we can do is truly rejoice and accept this fact as truth. My growing perspective on personal wellness actually coincides with the social justice issue of distorted body image as well as a continued progress in doing the inner work. I, myself, have been battling an ongoing struggle with disordered eating. I dont have an eating disorder, but sometimes I wont eat as much as I should or I will work out too often. In taking classes like Nutrition and Personal Conditioning, the professors of these classes (Juliann Lynch and Glenn Town) have helped me change my perspective on what personal wellness actually means. I have learned that personal wellness lays its foundation in spiritual and emotional wellness in doing the inner work, as talked about before. As Palmer says, If you cant get out of it, get into it (Palmer, 2000, p.84)! I have realized that it is better to get into it than wait, because in my experience, if you dont deal with it now it will catch up to you later. Along with this spiritual wellness, then comes true physical wellness. In my experience when I was caught up in my distorted body image, I was not spiritually well and, as a result, not physically well. I am in the process now of learning what true physical wellness looks like. I have discovered

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that taking care of my body is important and beneficial and brings energy and life to me, but I have to remember the perspective that my Creator made me beautiful, and to work out to just look better will never sustain me. I definitely still struggle with believing this at times, but I know God will not relent in His redeeming work in my life. I hope to build on this vision of personal wellness in my future vocation, whatever that may be. Over the course of this semester, especially, I have been forced to think more and more about the concept of vocation and how that differs from a career. What I learned from Parker Palmer is that vocation is a gift to be received. We already have God-given sets of gifts innately in us, therefore vocation is where you get to apply those gifts in a wonderful, joyous way (Palmer, 2000). A career differs from vocation in that a career is simply a job that pays the bills but doesnt necessarily fulfill a calling. I have also learned from Sittser that God can fulfill a calling or vocation through our daily routines, and have learned the significance of how important those daily routines are. In commenting on this, Sittser says, How I functioned in a field of service would depend on the quality of my character, the depth of my convictions, and the degree of my competence, which are developed as we do our daily routinesif I was not attentive to the little choices I made every dayto be a diligent student, a kind husband, a disciplined Christianthen whichever path I chose would never lead to the kind of fruitfulness I really desired for my life (Sittser, 2000, pgs. 24-25). Without this fruitfulness of a calling in vocation, I would never truly be satisfied because vocation is about selfhood and identity and if I am not true to my identity in Christ I am empty. A good test for this fruitful life is to look at scripture, like Tremper Longman says in his book, Making Sense of the Old Testament. Longman talks about the seed-parable of the sower in Mark 4:15-

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20, in that the Word of God is a seed and a mirror. The seed is the Word saying to grow in good soil so that you will produce a crop even a hundred times what was sown. The mirror is that we may look at ourselves in the light of the Word and see if we reflect it in our lives (Longman, 1998). This scripture, as Longman points out, assists us in giving us wisdom for navigating life. Even in the concept of vocation, we can think about this as a self-check to make sure we are on that fruitful path God desires for us. I believe I am slowly progressing on this path in my process of discovering of vocation. My internship experiences have been very helpful in finding where I can best apply the gifts God has given me. Right now I am deciding between physical therapy and becoming a personal trainer. I have a great passion for physical fitness and would love a vocation where I could be and deeply connect with people all day every day. I think either of these professions would be good for me and am excited to keep trying them out, but am also very open to any other door God opens. At this moment in my life, I am leaning more towards becoming a physical therapist mainly because I have had such a positive experience interning at Cottage Hospitals Outpatient Rehabilitation Facility. I have learned so much about truly seeing the patient as a whole and not just an injury. Just like my drawing textbook says, Seeing means to stress a visual interpretation of the subjectyour ability to overcome the tendency to name what you see and depend instead on visual insight may take some well worth it practice (Enstice, 2012, p.13). Truly seeing means to see the whole of a person instead of just parts, which will make practicing therapy way more beneficial in the long run for the patient and also myself as a therapist. Building off of this concept of seeing, I have three professional objectives that are prioritized for what I want to convey in my

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vocation as a physical therapist. (1) In everything I do as a therapist, I want to act as an arrow pointing to God in humble adoration. I want my patients to see and recognize that God is the ultimate healer and provider through God working through me in my profession. (2) My second professional objective is to be a good leader in that I have done enough inner work to be able to act in humble service to each of my patients in the areas of prevention, recognition, treatment, and rehabilitation of injuries (Prentice, 2000). (3) Third, I want to act as an educator and teacher for my patients in hopes of changing outlooks beyond the therapy table. I want to help them in healthy lifestyle changes that will benefit their overall personal wellness spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and of course, physically. In reflecting on these objectives, my ideal professional working situation would be one in which I would be able to build relationships with people of all walks of life and one where I can really enjoy people. Being with people really gives me a deep joy and I just know I could not work in an environment with limited human contact. I would also like a work environment where I am friends with my fellow coworkers and one where I am continually learning from them and being challenged to be a better healthcare provider. I would like an environment where I am on my feet a lot and where I get to go outside and even get some exercise while on the job. With all this in mind, I think that either a career in physical therapy or being a personal trainer/athletic trainer would be good fits for me. In both settings, I would be able to be with people all day, every day and hopefully impact them and have them impact me for the better. I also think that both professions would be challenging in a good way and push me to grow even more towards gifts God has called me to perform. In both job settings, as well, I would get to be on my feet for the majority of the day and would get to solve problems

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unique to each of my patients/clients. Either of these jobs, I believe, would suit my personality, as I tend to be very outgoing and energized by people. I also am very driven by goals in my personal life, and would be able to apply this mindset to each of the people I work with to reach their own goals. In my vocational ventures, I hope that my relationship with God will make me different as I function within my profession of choice. From my point of view, being a Christian makes someone different in every way. We are different because Christ has set us free by the power of the Spirit. We know the story of the Gospel and get to rejoice in freedom and truth and redemption that our Redeemer lives! Because of this, we should be in the world but not of itbuilding deep, meaningful, genuine relationships with people we encounter, giving glory to God in all things humbly and with praise, and living in freedom and joy wherever we go. If we live different in this way, we can be able to be an arrow, pointing to God for salvation. The process of writing this final paper has been actually very therapeutic and enlightening for me. In thinking through my four years at Westmont and realizing all God has done in me and through me, I cannot react in any other way but to be humbled. God is so alive and at work in my life and in the lives of my fellow classmates and has worked so powerfully through the classes, readings and professors that a liberal arts education provides. It has been very cool to recognize this through the process of writing this paper and has freed me in a way to be able to process without judgment. As I conclude my career at Westmont College, I am so thankful for the blessing that it has been and will gratefully take all I have learned here with me and in me for the rest of my life. I hope to continue to use the tools taught to me to grow in my relationships I have made here at

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Westmont, and also to be a good steward of the gifts God has given me as I continue to experience my calling.

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References 1. Barth, Karl. (1957). Church Dogmatics. Louisville, KY: John Knox Press.

2. Covey, S. R. (1989). The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. New York, NY: Free Press.

3. Dove Movement Staff. Movement for Self-esteem. Dove Movement. Web. 27 Apr 2011. <http://www.dovemovement.com/movement/about>.

4. Enstice, W., Peters, M. (2012). Drawing: Space, Form, and Expression: 4th Edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.

5. Hoffman, S. (2009). Introduction to Kinesiology: Studying Physical Activity: 3rd Edition. Portland, OR: Human Kinetics Publishers.

6. Longman, Tremper. (1998). Making Sense of the Old Testament: Three Crucial Questions. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.

7. Moore, Beth. (1999). Breaking Free. Nashville, TN: Living Proof Ministries.

8. Murphy, Robert F. (1990). The Body Silent. New York, NY: W. W. Norton.

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9. Palmer, Parker J. (2000). Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. San Francisco CA: Jossey-Bass.

10. Prentice, William E. (2014). Principles of Athletic Training: A Competency-Based Approach. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

11. Sittser, J. (2000). The Will of God as a Way of Life: How to Make Every Decision with Peace and Confidence. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

12. Voskamp, Ann. (2010). One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to LIVE FULLY Right Where You Are. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

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