Chen 1

Xiuzhu Chen Ms. Rand 1102 1/20/2014 I was studying in the China West Normal University in three years ago. My major was education when I was in China. I really liked my major and I hope I could be a teacher when I graduated from my university. I would graduate from my school in 2012 as an undergraduate student. But my parents wanted me to study abroad at that time and they would not want me to find a job after graduation. I still remember it was in May, 2011. My parents told me they had already registered IELTS training courses for me. IELTS was an international English language testing system. It was for students who wanted to study in an English-speaking country. I was shocked because I never thought my parents would do this so quickly and they even did not tell me. I asked my parents Wwhy do you always wanted me to study abroad? I still can find a job in here! My mom answered You still young and you do not understand what you really want in the future. We do not want to you to stay in here forever. So, your father and I think you should continue your education in America. To study in the USA, the first step is to pass the IELTS. Then, you can apply to universities and book your ticket. After my moms talking, my father said Zhuzhu ( my nickname in my family), you are 19 years old right now and you are not a baby anymore. You should do something for yourself. I know you want to be a teacher. You can still to be a teacher when you finish your studying in America to go back home. You could get a lot of new experiences in USA.
Comment [MR2]: Im interested in hearing more about each parents approach to this topic. They both are saying similar things, but it seems the tone is different. What do you think? Comment [MR1]: What was their reasoning for wanting you to study abroad? Did you feel you had a choice?

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I still could not stand these reasons and shouted I can go to graduate college in here, why I have to be in USA to study continuous education? My father also got angry and his face turned into serious which made me scared. He told me You have never got away from your home and you do not understand what the society is. This opportunity is very hard to get but you still do not understand your mom and me. I am so disappointed because you do not understand your parents. I had no choice at that moment because I did not want to hurt my parents hearts. I told them I would study these training courses. One month later, I kept my promise to be in the IELTS training courses. This class was not held in my hometown but in another city. So, my parents could not check me everyday. I went to class everyday, buy my mind was not in here at all. Although I promised I would be there, I did not promise I would try my best to study. I felt so boring in the classroom and I did not want to do anything at that time. I looked outside. The sunshine, cloud and the city, everything seemed to be good expecting my mood. My mind was filled with job hunting when I graduated from my school. After finishing the training courses, I went to take the first test of IELTS. I got 5.5 and I did not surprise the grade at all. The overall grade of IELTS was 9. To apply to a university, the least grade should be 6. Obviously, I did not pass the test. My parents were extremely mad and they asked me how could I did not get 6 after taking the training courses. I did not want to lie to them, I answered I did not study the IELTS at all and I did not review it before the test. My parents were shocked because they did not believe I would do this thing. After a few seconds, my father lighted a cigarette and asked me to seat in sofa. He asked me a question, Do you know what you can do in your future? I thought a few minutes, and then answered, I really do not know. I am tired of studying and want to get a job. Thats it. My father gave me a smile and said, You will
Comment [MR6]: This sentence would be: my father lit a cigarette and asked me to sit on the sofa. Comment [MR5]: Did you think about quitting the training courses? Comment [MR4]: This would be bored because it happened in the past. If it was continuing, it would be boring. Comment [MR3]: How did you feel at this point?

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never far away from studying because studying is not only in books but also in your life. Even in your working time, you still need to study everyday. So, you should not be afraid of studying. You have never been to America and you can try to a new lifestyle. You are still young and you have a lot of chances to enjoy your life. But if you do not go outside to see the world, you will never know what your future is. Traveling ten thousand miles is better than reading ten thousand books, and making many friends is better than reading ten thousand books. At night, I though deeply in my fathers words, but I still had no clue. In the next day, my cousin came to my home. I told these things to her and hope she could give me some suggestions. She said, Zhuzhu, you are always a brave girl. I cannot tell you that you should go there or not. But I hope you can try it first. If you like it, you can choose to study in here. If you cannot adapt to a different life, you can still come back home. Then, you can tell your parents you have already this experience, but you do not like it at all. At that time, I think your parents will understand you. You are right. I can try it first. How stupid am I. Thanks, sis. I hugged my cousin. After thirty days review, I took IELTS test again in September and I got 6. My parents were very happy because I could apply to universities right now. But I was not so much excited. I still had a kind of worry. Then, I started to apply to universities. In October, I got the letter of admission and I-20 which was offered for international students to get visa. I went to consulate of American to get my F-1 visa. Finally, I got my visa without a hitch. I was flying to America on January 4th, 2012. So, I have been here for two year. I have experienced many different situations in here. I was regretted, tired sometimes, but I still ha hope and faith. When I chose to studying abroad, I know everything would be different.
Comment [MR9]: This sentence is a little unclear to me. Can you clarify? Overall, I think this story is a great start! I like the level of dialogue you are using. There are some grammar and punctuation errors which I am happy to help you with if youd like more direct grammar instruction. It doesnt interfere with my ability to understand your story, though, so that is good. Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can help with anything. Thanks! Comment [MR8]: Good job with your description in this paragraph. Comment [MR7]: This is interesting advice. Your fathers definition of studying and learning was different than yours.