RUNNING HEAD: The Work of Single Mothers

The Work of Single Mothers: Literature Review Crystal Beltran The University of Texas at El Paso

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Abstract Many people automatically assume that a single mother relies on other people to raise her children. They often think they do not do anything to help the child succeed in life and never try to see how hard most single mothers actually work. This literature review will give the reader information of statistics of single mothers and even interviews from a single mother herself.

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Out of all the single parents in the United States, about 82% of them are mothers; only 1 in 6 single parents are fathers. There are many people who believe every single mother relies on nothing but the help from family, friends, the government, etc. But the truth is, not every single mother relies on these things. This literature review is going to have four main questions that will be discussed and answered by facts, statistics and interviews. These questions are: 1. Do you feel you have fulfilled your job as a mother? Why or why not? 2. Do mothers need more assistance when they are single? 3. Are mothers who have a partner more relaxed with their work as a mother? 4. What is the primary goal of a mother? Throughout this literature review, the reader will get a sense of what every mother goes through, but more specifically, single mothers. The reader will get a sense of how they feel, what they do, and what they think being a mother truly means.

The pie chart above shows how many women were married with their spouse absent, widowed, divorced, separated, or never married in the US in 2012. The highest was never married with a percentage of 46.4.

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Do you feel you have fulfilled your job as a mother? Why or why not? In order to get different views, I asked two mothers this question. One was married, the other was a single mother. Isela Aguilera is a mother of two daughters and has been married to Victor Munoz for 19 years. Her daughters, Yazmin and Vanessa, are already in their late teens. Vanessa, the youngest, is 18 and her oldest, Yazmin, is 19. Isela replied to this question with her childrens accomplishments throughout their life. The joy of seeing both take their first steps, saying their first words, coming home from preschool asking to be a part of the cheerleading team, and much more. She believes it is important to have her children grow with each other and be close like gum as she puts it. Her oldest of the two, Yazmin, has gone through graduation and is now attending college with a parttime job. She loves seeing how she has taken responsibility for herself by doing so. As far as fulfilling her job as a mother goes, she believes she has done just that. Her two children have grown to be respectful, young ladies and that is how she raised them to be. However, she says the job of a mother will never stop, it keeps going for as long as her children need her, which in her view, goes all the way to her grandchildren. Isabel Munoz is a mother of four daughters and one son. She became a single mother when she divorced her ex-husband, Ricardo Beltran, six years ago. Ricardo and Isabel had four daughters when they were together and after they divorced, Isabel had a son on her own. Two of her four daughters are already grown, one 20 and the other almost 19. Her two youngest daughters are 12 and 7 years old. And, finally, her son is 2 years old. Isabel says her job as a mother has been fulfilled by, Teaching them the meaning of love, respect, and communication within the family and within the world. She also goes on to say she teaches her children the importance of education and how failure will make them

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stronger because without it, there is no motivation to want more in life. Failure teaches her children how to appreciate the smallest things in life. Like Isela, Isabel believes her job as a mother will continue on for her children, even when they are adults and have children of their own. These two mothers have almost the same views as each other; they both want to see their children succeed throughout their lives. If their children succeed, they succeed. And that is what brings the upmost happiness to these two mothers.

Do the majority of single mothers need government assistance? One of the many rumors about single mothers is that they need more government assistance. But, the main problem here is many people tend to think these mothers abuse the assistance they get, if they are able to get it. Some of the government assistance includes: Welfare, Food Stamps, housing, etc. Sure, there are some that go out and use the assistance for more than necessities but it does not mean EVERY mother does it.

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Information from the 2009 Census Bureau states that 41.3% of single mothers received some type of help from the government; only 32.3% received food benefits. There are many mothers that will need temporary assistance until they are able to get back on their feet and do not need it anymore. Mothers tend to get help when they lose a job, their job does not pay enough, or if they have more than one child. Isabel Munoz, the mother mentioned earlier, has never needed government assistance. However, after she got divorced a little over 6 years ago, she and her children moved in with her parents. Isabel would help her parents pay the bills, buy food, and anything else they needed help with. Isabel recently moved out of her parents house now that she was able to afford to live on her own with her children. She has been out of their house for about four months. Unfortunately, Isabel has recently quit her job and is now applying for temporary government assistance, more specifically Food Stamps, until she is able to find another job. However, when Isabel had her job as a correctional officer she would work many hours of overtime and even got a promotion as a sergeant. She was a very strong and committed employee. Isabel is just one of the many single mothers who try to do what they can for her children. There are many mothers out there who are put in the same position as Isabel, but to answer the question, the majority of single mothers do not need government assistance. In order to be considered a majority, there would need to be more than 50% of single mothers receiving government assistance.

Are mothers who have a partner more relaxed with their work as a mother?

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In all reality, neither a married woman nor a single mother has worse problems than the other. They each have their troubles such as financial problems, arguments, worrying about taking care of their children, etc. As far as finances go, when a woman has a husband, or significant other, in the household sometimes she does not work, but she may feel the need to find a job to keep herself busier and not so dependent on someone else. Having a job makes a person feel like they have their life on track and have some sort of independence for themselves. When there is a couple they normally argue who spends what money and who is in control of the money. For example, since Isela and her husband both have jobs, they split who will pay for certain bills or who would buy the groceries. However, a single mother may have to worry about keeping up with her job in order to keep up with her finances, especially for her childs sake. For example, with Isabel she always worked overtime when she had the chance just to keep up with her bills. Sometimes she would fall behind on things but eventually she caught up. Arguments happen in every family household. A woman may argue with her husband about spending more time with the kids or how they should handle certain punishments when the child does wrong. Also, a woman may argue with her children about doing chores. If the woman is a divorced single mother she may have arguments with the father over whose turn it is to have the children on holidays and weekends. When it comes to taking care of the children a woman and her husband have to arrange their work schedules around each other to take turns taking care of the kids. However, if only one parent works the other may be a stay-at-home parent to take care of cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the children. A single mother may have more trouble when it comes to figuring out who can take care of her kids. She may need to find a job that can work with her taking her kids

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to school and picking them up. Or she may have a family member that will take care of that for her. For example, Isabel Munoz was lucky enough to have her parents live right by the school her children went to so they were able to take them to school, pick them up and take care of them until Isabel got home from work. What is the primary goal of a mother? This question was asked to the same two women from the first question. Isela Aguilera responded with, The primary goal of a mother is to make sure you are prepared for everything your child needs. The goal is also to make sure they grow up to be responsible, dependable, reliable women. That way they can always say I can do it and show their children the same. Isela tells a story of a time she needed to take care of her first child when she was very ill. She would worry when her child had a fever and she had to make sure she had what her child needed. Isela states, Its a struggle to be a mother but you learn as you grow. It is not easy being a parent, especially being a brand new parent with little experience with children. But for Isela, she managed to reach the goal she had as a mother, always being there for her children to take care of their needs. According to Isabel, The primary goal of a mother is to make sure you fulfill your childrens needs, which includes love more than anything. Also, to show them affection so they learn to love in return, but at the same time to have strength to handle pain. Isabel shows her children to love one another and to never hate. No matter what situation they are put in, she shows them to always look at it in the other persons shoes. Nobody is perfect and that is something she hopes her children always understand.

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Conclusion In conclusion, both single and married moms have difficulties in their lives as a mother. There can be situations where one may have it harder than the other at some point in time, but that ONE point in time does not mean every single or married mom has it harder than the other all the time. In the end, each mother has basically the same view: to be there for her children, support them, do whatever it takes to meet their needs and most of all, show them love.

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References http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/portrait.htm http://mrsparker623.hubpages.com/hub/Single-Moms-vs-HousewivesStay-at-Home-Moms Isabel Munoz, 37 years old. Isela Aguilera, 40 years old.