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Stephanie Domingo
Professor Ditch
English 113B
1 May 2014
Friendliness Compliments Peace of Mind
As human being at some point have felt as if we cannot handle a situation because it is
not in our power to control every single thing that occurs in our surroundings. In fact, many
people allow their surroundings to affect the way they feel for the rest of the day. I am very
aware of this because when this would happen to me I would allow it to affect me a lot before, in
which most of the cases that effect was not positive. We can really rely on the people around us,
our friends for instance; in most cases we should allow them to be our supporters. In the novel
The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows there
are many characters that Juliet wrote letters to. In those letters these characters talked about their
experiences during and after World War II. The character Elizabeth came up with the brilliant
idea of this book club, which was The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society. This was a
book club where people would read books and share about the books they read. The people in
this club became very close to one another because they felt as they could share not only their
books, but also the different obstacles they faced. I argue that friendship is not only an important
factor for happiness and wellness, but also for the emotional state of mind that one needs to
overcome obstacles one is presented in every day life situations as demonstrated in Juliets and
her friends interaction with one another in the novel.
During the novel The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society takes place after World
War II. As I mentioned before the protagonist whos name is Juliet writes to friends about her
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book and her experiences. Her friends write to her about what occurred to them during the war
and after. In one occasion Dawsey writes to Juliet about the time he met his friend Christian who
was a German Soldier. In this letter Dawsey explains to Juliet that he was carrying a barrel of
water from the bay and that his hands were nearly numb. Then in a car came along Christian who
stopped and offer him help, but Dawsey did not want his help. Then Christian without saying
anything got off his car and helped him get the barrel onto his perambulator. He continued to
help Dawsey with the second barrel of water. After when that was done they started to talk and
Christian mentioned his interest in the author Charles Lamb. Dawsey writes, he would often
help me carry up water, and then hed offer a cigarette, and wed stand in the road and talk-about
Guernseys beauty, about history, about books, about farming, but never about the present time-
always things far away from the war (Shaffer and Barrows, 97). Dawsey and Christian would
start a conversation that had nothing to do with the war and that is how their friendship began.
This demonstrates the fact that we need to be surrounded by our friends to remind us that there
are many things out in the world that can make us happy. The fact that during the time after the
war a lot of things in their surroundings were really badly affected they did not mention it.
Christian and Dawsey did not talk about the war because that was just not really relevant. They
communicated by speaking to one another about many things besides the war. This form of
communication with one another was to maintain each other occupied with more of the beauty
life has to offer so they could enforce their friendship. Communication is important when
developing any type of relationship with others.
In Mother Tongue by Amy Tan, she speaks about her mother speaking a broken
English and for that reason her mother got a different treatment from others. What I mean by this
many times people would not really be concerned about what her mother had to say so they
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ignored her as if she was not important. Many times the authors mother made her daughter
speak to people on the phone to make complaints about things she was not pleased by. Tan
explains, I was forced to ask for information or even complain and yell at people who had been
rude to her (Tan, 2). This is what she would have to do for her mother in order for people to
listen to what she had to say it was totally unfair to her mother. Tans says, I wanted to capture
what language ability tests can never reveal: her intent, her passion, her imagery, the rhythms of
her speech and the nature of her thoughts (Tan, 4). This meant that not only because her mother
did not speak proper English she neglected her. This made her be more considerate about the
people surrounding her. By this she did not allow the way her mother spoke affect her in a
negative way instead she used this as motive to write the way the people around her either in her
family or just others way of speaking in her own writing. This made her closer to her mother
because she did not want this to make her mother feel bad about the way she spoke. The
relationship she built with her mother was more than a mother daughter relationship. Tan
established a way to make things better for her mother to make her feel in a way happy or proud
of the way she spoke. For instance when Tan writes that she wanted her mother to critic towards
her writing her mother responded with, so easy to read (Tan, 4). Tan was satisfied with her
work because her mother could understand what she had written so this not only made her feel
good, but also was relieved that her mother could understand her writing. Tan and Juliet both
found ways to make others content with their writing. Both of them found contentment when it
came down to writing for a purpose that brought happiness, and wellness to people who were
important in their lives.
In The Secondhand bookseller by Marina Nemat the author has a passion for books and
unfortunately is not accessible to many of them at her school library or at home. The author tells
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us that she would not really get in the way of her mother. One day the author gathered all her
courage and decided to ask her mother if she would buy her books. Her mother agreed to do so,
but she said se would only once every month because she did not want to spend money on books.
Her mother did not believe the books were really necessary, but she did notice that the author
had such passion for book so she agreed to buying her one every month. One day when visiting
her grandfather she noticed a bookstore that had a sign which read Secondhand Books. She
writes, I knew secondhand meant cheap, but didnt dare ask my mother to check it out
(Nemat). She was very thrilled because she was passionate about reading and would find a way
to save up her money to buy books. When she entered the store she was very excited, but the
bookseller was very negative towards he. He suggested for her to instead invest her money on
food. The bookseller did not believe Nemat was able to read. After all he finally suggested the
book The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Nemat was very excited to read the book she even
read it twice and loved it. When she was done with the book she got some money by selling her
pencil box to a friend she went straight to the store to buy herself another book. When she
arrived to the bookstore the bookseller was very surprised to se her there. The bookseller then
realized that the author was really passionate about reading so then he felt the connection with
her. So then the bookseller told Nemat, you dont have to pay for it; you can borrow it if you
promise to take good care of it and return it hen you have read it. Twice (Nemat). This
demonstartes the friendship between the bookseller and the author they develpoed for the reason
in which he realized they both shared having love for books. The author says, From that day on,
I went to visit Albert and to borrow books from him at least once a week (Nemat). This
indicates that hapiness came from the passion the author has for reading and how the friendship
was established between Albert the bookseller and Nemat.
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In the article Friendship Values and Cross-Category Friendships: Understanding Adult
Friendship Patterns Across Gender, Sexual Orientation and Race by M. Paz Galupo and
Kirsten A. Gonzalez these authors run a research that analysis if women and men have or do not
have different traits or values that are important in friendship relationships. In order for them to
conduct the research they examined different orientation and race in the friendship across the sex
and identity. In order to conduct their research they utilized a friendship questionnaire that
allowed the people to provide fundamental regarding the structure information about them and
their close friends. The people who took the questionnaire had to rate about six different values
in the friendships they had with others. In their findings according to Galupo and Gonzalez,
three identity salient friendship values (similar lives & experiences, similar values, non-
judgmental) did reveal some differences. For similar lives & experiences there were no
interaction effects between gender, race, and having at least one cross-race friendship. There
were no main effects for gender or race (Galupo and Gonzalez). This validates the fact when
one considers a friend what they look for characteristics in friends to be most important are to
have similar experiences, values, and not being judged. This is relevant to the fact that a lot of
time we turn to friends to help us deal with situations or just to simply help us be happy.
In the journal article I am so Happy Cause Today I Found My Friend: Friendship and
Personality as Predictors of Happiness By Demr Melkah Weitekamp Lesley A. they study to
investigate the personality and other aspects among 423 young adults. The purpose to their
investigation was to find the relationships between personality and amount of friends or best
fiend qualities. It has been found by Meliksah and Weitekamp that, two of the variables that
have been consistently associated with happiness: friendship and personality (Meliksah and
Weitekamp). In their findings they found that qualities were that causing happiness depending on
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their gender and personality. This indicated that happiness is brought form the friends or people
we surround ourselves by. So when one surrounds on self by people who will encourage positive
activities or actions eventually bring wellness, and happiness towards themselves.
In the article Gender and Friendship Norms Among Older Adults by Diane Felmlee
and Anna Mauraco they looked closely to the same and cross gender in typical friendship within
135 adults. The people who were evaluated were their friends behaved with each other.
According to Felmlee and Mauraco they found that, women were more disapproving of
violations of friendship rules, such as betraying a confidence, paying a surprise visit, and failing
to stand up for a friend in public (Felmlee and Mauraco). These would be some qualities that
many female will disagree with and take very personal in a negative way. So some people may
suggest differently, but really by whom we are with takes on our character. For example, we
allow that what surrounds us really impact on our own lives like fashion is one thing that many
follow up with. Fashion you can say is like a friend that influences us to maintain anyone happy
or feel good.
In conclusion, friendship plays a significant role in peoples life for the reason that it
helps maintains people to be happy and well. As I presented in the few scholarly articles, and
book to indicate so. Many of the articles and the book amplify the theme of friendship and the
effect it has on people. So in order for one to be well and happy; we should allow those who
surround us, our friends or family to be a supporter. People need to have or surround themselves
by those who will help them in time of need. Even the smallest task like listening or smiling
brings wellness and happiness to people in our surrounding.

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Works Cited
Demr, Melkah, and Lesley A. Weitekamp. "I Am So Happy Cause Today I Found My Friend:
Friendship And Personality As Predictors Of Happiness." Journal Of Happiness Studies 8.2
(2007): 181-211. Academic Search Premier. Web. 25 Feb. 2014.
Felmlee, Diane, and Anna Muraco. "Gender And Friendship Norms Among Older Adults."
Research On Aging 31.3 (2009): 318-344. Academic Search Premier. Web. 25 Feb. 2014.
Galupo, M. , and Kirsten Gonzalez. "Friendship Values And Cross-Category Friendships:
Understanding Adult Friendship Patterns Across Gender, Sexual Orientation And Race." Sex
Roles 68.11/12 (2013): 779-790. Academic Search Premier. Web. 25 Feb. 2014.
Nemat, Marina. The Secondhand Bookseller. Norton Field Guide to Writing, Second Edition.
Richard Bullock, Maureen Daly Goggin, and Francine Weinberg. W.W. Norton & Company,
2010. Print.
Shaffer, Marry Ann, Annie Barrows. The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society, New York:
Dial Press / Bloomsbury 2008. Print.
Tan, Amy. Mother Tongue. Norton Field Guide to Writing, Second Edition. Richard Bullock,
Maureen Daly Goggin, and Francine Weinberg. W.W. Norton & Company, 2010. Print.