Funny, how we live our lives under the illusion of control over them.

We wake up
each and every morning, armed with the conviction that our choices and actions shall
determine their course, although, if we were only to mildly reflect upon past hopes and
aspirations, wed soon realize we never actually ended up exactly where we were
planning to.
As a matter of fact, while were all so damn busy acting out our roles on the worldly
stage, behind the scenes, hidden by a veil as thick as ignorance and twice as blissful, the
entire production is essentially being governed governed by a dual sovereignty of a most
dichotomous nature. !ackstage, where the theater itself is contained within its wardrobe,
pacing around the rims of a globular desk, these twin powers keep their own idea of
balance in the world.
At the head of that table is "ausality, the sovereign of order, which knows no
beginnings and no endings. #ike a rolling stone making its way down an infinite slope,
"ausality would have weaved existence into an infinite scarf of foreseeable strings of
causes and effects, if it wasnt for his interfering, darker brother.
Across the globe is "haos, prince of disorder, orbiting the corners of the round table.
$anifested in mayhem of momentary beginnings, yet endings in their very essence %ust
as well, "haos desires absolutely no connection between anything at all, and would
gladly turn his brothers cosmic scarf into nuclear fissional cotton balls.
&ow it came to be then, that a stain on a mattress a simple, rather cutely shaped stain
of all things, shall end up instigating a most bizarre yet not wholly capricious chain of
events is only for these governing brothers to know.
'nly thing you know is that it did.
(t all began, as already stated, with a stain on a mattress.
)he following morning, upon realizing %ust how disastrous the discovery of your little
late*night escapade could prove, you yourself took the hotels bed sheets to a dry cleaner,
who had the spotted redness dissolved into a more diffused touch of pinkish hue.
+evertheless, there was fuck all you could have done about the mattress, other than flip it
over and hope the whole ordeal would go unnoticed.
A couple of days went by without as much as a s,ueak, and %ust as youve but
forgotten about the whole thing, theyve elected to refresh your memory. -ou %ust
happened to be dropping by the reception so as to pay for your accommodation for the
upcoming month, when the party official on duty elected to firmly decline your payment,
grimly informing you of your deportation from the hotel henceforth.
As the month youve been spending in this semi*communist hotel on the inner*
outskirts of .rague has been a most pleasant one, you were hardly gonna give it all up
without a decent amount of pleading and graveling. +evertheless, it made no difference
to them that the girl, the one truly responsible for this mess, was from $other /ussia, nor
that your stained mattress kinda looks like $ikhail 0orbachev if you stare at it long
enough. +o1 )his blunt disregard for state policy, not to mention irreparable damage to
hotel property, called for the immediate exiling, not only of yourself, but also of your
roommate, whos been sneaking in plenty of girls himself.
And thats how you found yourself back at the "lown and !ard &ostel.
)hat same evening though, you decided to %oin forces with "harlie, himself gravely
deprived of a solid nights sleep by endless moaning, shushing and more moaning, lords
of the night in a dormitory. !y the morrow, you guys were already the proud tenants of a
tiny apartment in 2epy, .rague seventeen, A3A worlds end.
+ow, As "anadian "harlie is a lover of salsa dancing, it seemed only fitting that you
shall go and celebrate your newborn partnership by dancing the night away at one of the
plentiful salsa %oints .rague has to offer the young at heart.
And thats where our story really begins.
(ts Friday night, and the place is packed.
4elicate "zech nymphs, smooth of skin and full of features, are twirling around the
room, carried by a #atin rhythm that makes feet move on their own accord, straight into
the arms of #atin swingers, themselves making the utmost out of their element.
A couple of well greased hombres, apparently somewhat threatened by the amount of
female attention tall and blond "harlie is getting, constantly hang around, eagerly
attempting to out*dominate him. 0etting their own partners in a tangle, they give it all
theyve got, while he himself is blissfully oblivious to their efforts, immersed in the arms
of a most agile beauty.
Across the dance floor at the opposite shore to an ocean of human tremor and ripples,
you notice a beautiful mane of straight, black hair, comported with elegance by a slim,
nicely postured body. What more, you also notice that the sub%ect is by herself, watching
the swirling couples with eyes that pro%ect eagerness to be an even part, rather than an
odd spectator.
As ever, impeded by two left feet and a sense of rhythm too "aucasian for its own
good, youre obviously somewhat intimidated by women who can actually dance well.
&ence, its the ringside crowd you usually aim for the lame and the weak the bashful,
insecure girls, whod be too grateful for merely being asked to mind your dancing
techni,ue, nor the wellbeing of their own toes, for that matter.
)herefore, you decide to aim for that which seems to be about the right blend of
timidity and zeal. -ou cross the dance floor, approach with a smile and politely in,uire
whether shed like to dance with you.
5+o, no, no67 she panics, and then awkwardly edges away.
)hat sure wasnt what you were expecting. -ou dont mind polite declines, have kinda
grown used to them by now, but such a hysteric refusal is %ust too damn odd.
)hat entire night, the oddity of her response hangs around the backroom of your mind.
#ike a scurvy taxman, auditing your mental accounts, it puts you off ease, even while
youre dancing with other casual partners.
8ventually, commonsense and sensibility succumb to that burning sensation of
curiosity, and you approach the table where shes sitting, in the company of several
mousy little "zech friends. -ou introduce yourself briefly, and then dive right into the
main course of the confabulation.
5+o, no, no67 she starts mumbling, 5(ts not you, its me. ( cant dance.7
59ure you can dance,7 you encourage her with a smile. 5Anyone can dance. 4ancing
is like singing, huh. 8veryone can sing. $aybe not well, but still67
5+o, no67 she finally smiles, 5( dont dance salsa.7
5What do you dance then:7
5( dance flamenco sometimes67 she confesses, bashfully.
5Alright, lets dance flamenco then17 you conclude, pull her off her seat, and before
she knows what swept her, the two of you are dancing the most flamenco*like salsa that
dance floor has ever seen, but still6
)he irksome taxman finally closes his books, loosens his tie, gives one final weary
gaze, one last soft sigh, then leaps out the window. -ouve got yourself a dancing partner
for the rest of the night and a rather rectangular 9panish ass in the palm of your hands. !y
morning coffee, youll also be getting yourself a touch of heaven.
; ; ;
Fascinating, is how mysterious and unpredictable life can be, if only given half a
chance to become so. #ike a ball of twine, it rolls down a slippery slope bouncing from
fortune to misfortune at times touching %oy, at others wallowing in sorrow always one
step ahead of you * the demented little kitten that is constantly on its tail.
Along its winding trail, your twine of the countless shades life has to offer may find
itself entangled with other, similar twines, themselves rolling down trails uni,ue all to
their own. Allow it to untangle on its own accord, like we do with the countless lives we
but briefly encounter day by day, and your twine would continue on its merry way.
/elationships, on the other hand, are created on these rare occasions we allow the
feline curiosity in us to take proceedings over our natural sense of haste. (f we but throw
a single, playful paw over the entangled twines pierce the thread with a %uvenile claw,
and those twines may remain woven in one another, for but a brief moment or an entire
lifetime pulling each other down a new course they themselves brought into being.
And then, there are friendships. $ilestones in the evolution of a life, friendships dont
simply mark its course, but determine it %ust as well. )hough they often come with a new*
encounter*smell and a lifelong membership feel to them, no relationship ever arrives with
an actual lifetime guarantee, and for a good reason too. 8ven friendships dont last
forever, for the same reason that nothing else ever does. !ut as long as they do, neither
life can possibly remain unchanged.
And so it was written, that you shall attempt to salsa with the best of strangers at one
moment, the next < youd be making a friend that might change the course of your life.
)hat you shall hit the road once again, only not in the oddly fashion you were assuming
of late, but in a much more even one. )hat, by morning coffee, there will be a piece of
paradise lying in wait for the both of you.
Well deserving of its name, the 9lovak .aradise is, as a matter of fact, all one could
imagine a paradise should be and more, possibly with the exception of a bunch of
wankers playing the harp. A ma%estic mountain range in the center of the country,
9lovensk= /a% is particularly known for its gorges and canyons, flowing ravines and
inspiring waterfalls.
)he two of you have spent the entire morning hiking through its forests, across its
rivers, up and down its many ropes and ladders finally given the opportunity to shake the
dust off your hiking shoes and the cobwebs off your drowsy %ourney across 9lovakia.
!y lunch time, you happened to stumble upon a medieval festival of a sort upon some
local style celebration marking this, that or any other customary occasion. Across the
meadow, a colorful array of pavilions and tents of stages, stalls and decorations, have
been erected in order to offer dance, music, theater, food, beverage and %oy to all.
A pitcher of warm wine would have been most welcomed at that point, if not for the
fact that you swore off alcohol years before, while your 9panish friend doesnt drink any
to begin with. (nstead, you gorged yourself silly on about half a kilo of fine, roasted beef,
tender and %uicy to the extent of divine hedonism.
With a stomach on the verge of bursting and a heart as light as sunbeam, you re%oiced
in the gay festivities for the rest of that afternoon. With but an hour of sunlight left to the
day, your friend urged you to commence heading back towards the village, where you
most temporarily reside, somewhere on the other side of the national park.
And thats where our story really begins.
)he sun has sat long ago, behind forests and hills youre struggling to cross, on your
hasty and disoriented odyssey across the park. What was once a paradise, has gradually
transformed into an infernal, swampy harsh, and no stretch of land you do manage to cut
across seems to bring you any closer to your desired destination.
'n a moonless night such as the one you find yourselves ensnared in, your flashlight
is a sheer lifesaver, for without it, youd soon be losing even your very own toes.
>nfortunately, it does nothing in the way of improving your navigational skills.
)he two of you seem to have been clomping around in circle for nearly three hours by
now. )hen, %ust as your more feeble in nature and less apt to the great outdoors female
companion is about to despair, it also begins to pour.
9kipping from the dubious shelter of one tree to the next, splashing mud all over each
other, you finally emerge from the rims of yet another forest and onto a path of a sort. >p
ahead in the distance, you see a shimmering light. With a head grown heavy and your
sight grown dim, you have no choice but to stop for the night.
4renched in bodies and spirits and in darkness so pitchy even a bat could have used a
lantern, the two of you make your way towards what appears to be a nice little cottage in
the middle of 0ods most forsaken of nowheres.
When you finally make it to the doorstep, your timid friend suddenly hesitates, yet it
really doesnt take much for her to come around and face the cold, wet and rather
miserable reality awaiting you anywhere other than under this roof this shelter the two of
you were fortunate enough to stumble upon.
)herefore, you knock on that door, and are greatly relieved to encounter a young,
rather puzzled guy answering it. &e gladly invites you in, and introduces you to his bunch
of friends, all university students who chose to spend the weekend in this chalupa.
?
!efore you know it, you find yourselves engulfed in warmth and cheers, as you %oin
the esprit de corps, slumped on the wooden floor, in front of a roaring fireplace, and
doing what young 9lovak folks do best of all < namely drinking.
From vodka to slivovice,
@
rum, whisky and any other imaginable form of hard li,uor,
it is clear enough that what these young fellows came here to do is to get completely and
utterly plastered beyond recognition.
?
"ottage A9lovakB
@
.lum brandy
)he conversation, now fueled by the appearance of two mysterious strangers, flows
like the alcohol itself. -ourself, fueled by the warm hospitality, as well as by the presence
of several fetching looking girls amidst the feisty crowd, immediately dive into the
conversation with a mixture of spoken words and extravagant gestures. While doing your
bit in entertaining your hosts, your friend uses her "zech skills, in itself a close relative of
the 9lovak language, to express your everlasting gratitude.
'ddly enough, every bunch of people must have its nominated fool. )his particular
one happens to be seated right next to you, and is repeatedly trying to force various
drinks down your throat. 9oon, you also realize that your polite declines, grown into
blunt refusals, might appear somewhat culturally insensitive in the eyes and hearts of
your gracious hosts.
)herefore, you finally succumb to a shot of vodka, which goes down your throat in the
exact same, revolting way you remembered it to, followed by a glass of slivovice and
again followed by a second shot of vodka, which dont taste half bad by now.
9everal hours later, when even your superiors in the art of alcohol consumption are
either passed out or mumbling to themselves in tongues, your friend, the only sober
remnant of the lot, excuses herself, and drags you up the stairs, to where a couple of beds
are already laid out for the both of you.
0ood, trusty friend, compassionate and caring. -ou would confess to her that you love
her, only that its not in your nature to say such things. 9he gently lays you on one bed,
then stretches her fine, curvy body on the other. )hat sex is out of the ,uestion is a safe
enough guess. )his situation is too bizarre even for you, what with the whole twirling of
the world around you to deal with and all.
-ou attempt shutting your eyes, but feel far too sick to remain this way for very long.
9uddenly, your stomach comes to life. &alf a kilo of beef is revived all of a sudden,
and is mooing for revenge with such a frenzy, that you are capable of little else but
uttering your friends name, before hurling all over the floor, the bed and yourself.
9he hurries over, helps you to your feet and hence begins a frantic search for a
bathroom, in completely unfamiliar surroundings, made even more alien by the lack of
any sort of illumination.
'n your way, you manage to hurl on the staircase, across a bookshelf and into
someones old boot. !y the time she locates a bathroom, theres very little left in your
poor stomach. 9till, you manage to hurl all around the toilet %ust as well.
When its all over and done with, your beloved friend puts you in her clean bed and
leaves you to moan and groan, while she faithfully scrubs and cleanses all of your half
digested remains.
When morning comes, you both apologize endlessly, to a host who accepts your
apologies with a smile of one who is only too familiar with the after*effects of alcohol
consumption and really doesnt seem to mind.
)hat day, an era of self*prohibition, over four years in length, has ended in one hell of
a hangover. Furthermore, since then, a new definition of what a true friend ought to be
has been filed in your own personal registry. A true friend, it says, is one who would
scrub your vomit from the floor in times of need, and would think nothing of it.
; ; ;
)hey say that whatever is far from the eye must also be far from the heart. They say
lots of stuff though, most of which dont make a whole lot of sense. )he only thing they
dont seem to tell us is who they actually are. )heir own identity is an enigma even to
their very own selves. 8rgo, if even they cannot trust themselves, why the hell should we
be putting our trust in what theyve got to say in the first place:
)rue enough though, at times, distance is rather a shitty ground for a friendship to
grow on. 9ome people appear to necessitate direct and constant involvement in each
others lives in order to see a relationship as a friendship. )hen again, one cannot help
wondering how much of that necessity is authentic, as opposed to being conditioned by
society. After all, doesnt a society re,uire people to remain bonded and grounded to one
another for the sake of its very own existence:
+evertheless, in some cases, distance actually becomes a fertilizer, to a ground
otherwise made rapidly barren by proximity too intensive for its own good. 'ften
enough, friendships can reach a much fuller potential a deeper, more intimate realm,
simply by elevating themselves above the daily, the instant and even the physical.

)he two of you have traveled together, lived together and been growing older together,
in a fashion. -ouve been lovers, soul mates, flat mates and simply mates a shoulder to
cry on, an ear to unburden into, an eye to reflect in and an arm to lean on in times of
need. An unconditional friendship, if ever there was one.
#ater in life, when your own twine got tangled up in distant 8ngland, where a cushy
%ob was keeping you rather stationary, it was emails that kept your friendship going. +ot
the kind of superficial fluff dominating the Facebookish day and age, but genuine mails
of substance and intimacy.
)hrough better or worse during times of serious involvements or critical
disappointments when she was contemplating packing it in and retreating back to 9pain
or planting shackles in the soft "zech soil and buying her own place, you supported her.
-ou supported her as best as you could, %ust as long as foul words, such as Cmortgage or
Cmarriage, were kept unpronounced.
Finally, when the time has come, and you were set free from your obligations across
the canal, ready to embrace your freedom to roam around once again, it was your 9panish
friend in .rague you wished to see first and foremost. For a single visit is worth a
thousand mails, even for the sturdiest of long distance relationships.
And thats where our story really begins.
9he welcomes you with open arms, back into her all*in*one bedroom apartment.
9till seeking essence, in a world devoted to the concrete seeking intimacy, in the
utilitarian arms of "zech man keen on shooting rather than talking, she nevertheless has
made her home in this city you yourself consider as such %ust as well.
For her upcoming birthday, you brought her a bottle of aromatic oil. )his gift is as
much for you as it is for her, because in the right hands such oil can transform into the
essence of delight, and youve yet to have known hands more right than hers.
A keen practitioner of various therapeutic methods, many a massages have these hands
given you, right here on this very mattress. +evertheless, it has been over two years since
last the two of you have lain on her mattress, and her gentle fingers now linger in
hesitation, before being pulled away from your bare, yarning skin.
5Estas mas gordo ahora,7
D
she says, as she puts her hands behind her back. 5( no like
to give massage to skin with fat and so much hair.7
5-ou didnt use to mind before,7 you reply, feeling a bit annoyed, as you roll to your
side and, with an in,uisitive gaze, attempt to read between the lines on her face.
5-ou was more thinner then,7 she teases, attempting to lighten the mood, while
putting the lid back on the oil bottle, as well as on your aspirations of getting yourself a
free massage any time soon.
5( dont think ( was any less hairy though, was (:7 you succumb to the mood
lightening movement.
5(t was6pues
4
6different,7 she confesses, lowers her eyes and is about to turn off the
soothing music that was playing in the background.
5Were we different then:7 you guide her hand away from the cassette player.
58verything was different then,7 she sighs, and stretches her slim, lengthy body on
the mattress beside you.
-our eyes let go of her facial expression, and you turn to lie on your back, allowing
her the privacy of her face*book. -ou lie side by side in silence for a while.
5( no can understand men,7 she finally says.
5$en: $en are easy. (ts women ( never seem to be able to understand. $en you %ust
ask us what we want and well tell you straight away. )hats why ( prefer the company of
men.7
5/eally: !ut almost all your friends are womans,7 she now turns to stare at you.
5Funny, isnt it: ( find it easier to talk to women, yes,7 you admit.
5( tried to talk to him, but he did not want to talk about anything.7
59o, what did he want then:7 you smile, as you already know the answer to that one.
5"zech men only want action, not talking. &e never asked how ( am feeling, or what (
am thinking. Why they not try to understand who ( am, eh:7
5-ou know ( like talking. ( believe in communication,7 you gently stroke her effluent
hair, which she used to model in her early youth. 5( think the "zechs are ,uite radical in
their Ccavemen attitude. !ut, ( can also understand why they believe action speaks louder
D
-ou are fatter now A9panishB
E
well6 AsameB
than words. A man should only be %udged by his actions, not by his thoughts, nor by his
intentions.7
5( not agree17 she cries out. 5ntenciones are the most important thing. 0ood
intenciones are the way to wisdom the way to 3arma.7
5-et, pave the road to hell %ust as well67
5!ue"7
F

5#ook,7 you attempt a different angle, 5what you do is more important than what you
want to do. ( mean, would you like to be with a man who loves you or with a man who
wants to love you:7
5+ow you play with words,7 and she pushes herself away from you. 5( only want him
to tell me that he love me.7
5)hats because words are cheap, see: ( never say C( love you to a woman67
5)hat is because you not know how to really feel love for a woman,7 she sighs.
5-ou may be right. 8motional detachment may be a part of my natures core, and
theres nothing ( can do to change that. 9till, love is for showing, not telling.7
5-ou can be very cold sometimes, hombre. Gsabes"7
H
5#o se, mu$er.
%
5And you use people too much,7 she adds.
5.eople are tools,7 you admit, 5%ust like anything else.7
5.eople are not tools17 she exclaims. 5We are all a part of the same thing.7
5$aybe we are, and maybe we arent,7 its your turn to sigh. 5What difference does it
make anyway:7
5( not know,7 9he leans her head against your shoulder. 5( feel so lonely sometimes.7
9ensing a touch of moist spreading through your sleeve, you take her in your arms,
allowing the rest of your shirt to serve as a handkerchief for her tearful eyes. With your
bodies pressed tight, in a desperate attempt to s,ueeze out the empty spaces from this
human solitude sandwich, you can feel her every tremble each single heartbeat.
5Iust because you are alone sometimes doesnt mean you need to feel lonely, you
know. &ell, we all come into this world alone and shall leave it in the very same way.7
F
What A9panishB
H
6man. 4o you know: AsameB
J
( know that, woman AsameB
5( am not alone sometime,7 she ,uietly sobs, 5( am alone most of the time, and ( can
feel what people here think of me67
5)he hell with what people think1 #onely is a social misconception1 (ts made up by
people who cant handle the fact that to be alone is a part of the human condition.7
5-ou will never change, eh:7 she manages a smile. 5Always so pesimista&7 and she
smooths a touch of frowning with a warm kiss.
5And you shall never stop changing,7 you plant a soft kiss upon her lips, 5which is
why ( love you so.7
>nhurriedly, the two of you give in to passion and compassion. -ou burrow into each
others carnality seek refuge in one anothers soul, %ust like in the good old days. &er
flesh is warm to the touch, and her touch is warm to your flesh. 9he ,uivers in both
delight and dolor, as you delve into her threshold of life incarnated.
0uess youll be getting that massage after all6
; ; ;
What is a friendship, ( ask, if not a reaction between two individuals between two
different personalities and modes of being:
As a reaction, somewhat spiritual, somewhat chemical in nature, friendship is most
susceptive to circumstances to time, space and everything in between. +evertheless, the
strength of a friendship, and even its duration at times, lies solely in the uni,ue
integration these two distinctive personas form.
A powerful interaction may easily transcend physical remoteness and even the passing
of countless years. +evertheless, the process of aging in years does not leave its
substances unstirred. (f you but think you know yourself at a certain point in life, youll
also be bound to wake up one day and realize what a fool you really were.
8verything changes with the passing of time, and personas are no different. With the
changing of personalities, the interaction between them is also bound to change. 9ome
friendships dig even deeper roots into the unchangeable cores of their substances, while
others weaken, as the topsoil gets swept away by the wind of change.
As the wind of change whirls about continually, coming and going again according to
its circuits, autonomous individuals, bond in ties of friendship, con%ugality or blood may
drift apart in their essences of being, to the point where, of what there once was a firm
base for an integration, there would be very little left to date.
And so, you eventually find yourself eight years into a relationship, which has been an
unconditional friendship, if there ever was one. 'ver the years, youve drifted eastwards,
towards the land from whence the sun rises, flowed westwards, seeking knowledge where
the sun sets, then pressed on to the place where it rises again.
-our friend, on the other hand, had remained in .rague, focusing her energies on an
internal %ourney rather than an external one, and though youve been drifting more
existentially and her more spiritually, you always found that you complete each other, by
showing due respect to one another, the way true friends should.
!y the time the earth shook so violently thousands vanished in a matter of seconds,
there was very little left in you to be stirred. "hina has been wearing you down to the
bone, and all you desired was for the semester to end, so you could use what little funds
you were able to preserve in order to travel away from this land of Cinteresting times.
)he only thing which kept you slightly elevated above your dull, oppressive existence
was your newly formed plan to meet up with your 9panish friend and travel in )hailand
together. )he only other things keeping you even remotely receptive were a couple of
female students of yours, at a >niversity in Kian.
#ike the fresh breath of life itself, which can transform even a terracotta warrior into a
living, titillating man, these nymphs would sometimes drop by your apartment, located
within the school compound, raise you from that dusty tomb of totalitarianism and show
you the wonders of a culture six thousand years old, now buried underneath thick layers
of cultural, ideological and highly tangible wars and revolutions.
With the renewal of your correspondence, weighed down of late by life and the
individual preoccupation with its more immediate aspects, you are resolved to be
completely honest in your accounts of the many trials and errors youve endured all the
hardships and courtships that have been characterizing your life in far away "hina.
(t was all received in a supportive and encouraging enough manner, fitting a true
friend, as well as a genuine !uddhist, until youve hit the courtship bit. )hats where
sympathy ended and a touch of moral repute surfaced.
5Whether my relations with my students are a moral act or not,7 you wrote her in
return, 5is not for you nor anyone else but me to %udge. $orality is not universal but a
case by case issue,7 you proceeded to claim, 5and the least (d expect from a friend is
respect for my basic morality.7
Whether that claim is right or wrong, assuming such a thing as universal rightness
actually exists and is made known to us, matters very little. What matters most was the
fact that your reaction sure did seem to have offended your friend gravely. 9ometimes,
you cant help but feel, it is righteousness that is the root of all evil.
8ven after a dozen apologies were made for your harsh words, the taste of bitter ashes
was still left in your mouth. )hen, with a heart grown heavy and a sight grown dim, you
left confusing "hina behind and boarded a plane to !angkok.
And thats where our story really ends.
As your plane is seemingly hovering motionlessly in its high and mighty altitude, like
a sovereign, surveying his lands first the kind labeled Lietnamese, than the one labeled
#aotian, you contemplate the kind of friendship you might have assumed, expected or
even forced, and about the tension that now exists between your friend and you.
+ot only that youve been maintaining that friendship for eight years of your adult life
by now, but also, had you been made to succumb to categorization, you actually would
have granted her the title of Cbest friend.
Furthermore, you now come to realize, shed somehow become your fallback plan
over the last several years. 9hould you end up desiring to live with one and only one
woman someday, and be there no particular woman to fill that position by then, on the
upper layer of your subconscious, a plan has formed to be doing that with her.
9ince you do love her, and be it that her unlucky, unstable and unrewarding history
with various men has shown every indication that she shall be available at anytime you
might reach that somewhat inevitable stage in your life, she has become a perfect
standby*bride*to*be.
+ow, though, youre not at all sure that that would do.
+evertheless, your heart fills with %oy and anticipation the moment the plane touches
ground at 9uvarnabhumi Airport in !angkok. A ,uick public bus to 3haosan /oad and a
lengthy foot draggin along its many alleys and backstreets, and the moment has arrived
to march into the hostel where she is staying, take her in your arms and re%oice in your
reunion, after four whole years you havent seen each other in the flesh.
'nly snag is that she appears to have changed hostels.
From a note she had left for you, heads and tails are barely made, until you finally
manage to locate her current place of residence and march right in.
9he is obviously delighted to see you, and warmly shakes your hand.
9hes been spending over a week in !angkok, awaiting your arrival, hence best not
waste precious time on analyzing the situation but devote it to a rapid sightseeing of this
vibrant hub instead, before boarding a train heading up north.
.lenty of time to catch up and figure things out on the crowded train.
(n between being s,uashed to bits on a cracked up seat of rotten wood and hanging out
the open car door for a ,uick smoke, the two of you are very careful not to bring issues
such as sexual deviation or morality in general to the filthy dining car table.
(nstead, you discuss your rather frosty reunion back in !angkok.
5(ts not that (m not happy to see you, but ( honestly dont ,uite know how ( feel
about you anymore. &ow ( feel about us,7 she admits.
-ou appreciate her honesty, you really do, and admit to similar doubts. )hen again,
you both agree to make the best out of your %oined venture and get to know and
understand each other anew.
With this resolution, you reach your destination and set out on a ,uest for that towns
absolutely cheapest hostel. After about an hour, though, she tires of dragging her feet, her
backpack and her twiggy figure across town and rebukes you for the ragged manner of
traveling you have grown accustomed to.
-ou try explaining the fact that your employment in "hina did not, unfortunately,
yield much money, and that 9outheast Asia is still a mighty long and winding terrain to
explore, adding that if it wasnt for her preference not to share a room with you, assuming
she knows that you dont expect any of that for*old*times*sex, the both of you would
have long ago been unpacking your bags in a hostel suitable for both parties.
9till, you respect her wishes and take the next accommodation you come across.
!y the time you reach Wat .hra .hutthabat, central )hailand, you are getting really
fed up with visiting one !uddhist temple after another literally following in the
!uddhas footprints, so to speak. -oure sick and tired of bold little men in orange
dresses, of endless kneeling and humming, but most of all, youre greatly disappointed
with the superficiality of your communication.
'nce she again refuses to cut down expenses by sharing a room with you, it seems as
if the time has come for you to go your own way for a while to see and explore different
aspects of the untamed )hai nature, both human as well as nonhuman in character.
And so, you set out on your individual %ourney across the land, finally en%oying the
liberty and unpredictability of a spontaneous voyage, without any commitment to
guidebook recommendations or spiritual guidance.
When your time is up, you return to Wat .hra .hutthabat, only to find her still
chanting mantras at the feet of a statue of a really fat man with a pointy hairdo,
attempting to achieve enlightenment, by shutting her eyes and deducing that the world
must simply not exist then.
+evertheless, these few days spent apart did, however, seem to unclog her receptivity
towards you. Finally, she begins to confine in you share in her doubts and distress
deliver accounts of failed romances, as well as encouraging revelations.
-ou listen, express opinions, share accounts of you own, but are largely %ust plain
happy to have your friend back.
)hen again, when the time comes to board the train to "hiang $ai, capital of the
northern territories, as previously discussed, it turns out that she has read about a
charming temple out of the way, and would like to go there instead.
-ou argue that, as friends, one would expect more mutual consideration.
5'ira,7
M
she says, 5%ust because ( told you of my problems dont mean that we are
friends like before.7
5G(ues, )ue somos" *+,onocidos-"7
N
you exclaim.
M
#ook A9panishB
N
9o, what are we: Ac,uaintances1: A9panishB
5(ues si, hombre. ,onocidos,7
?O
is the wrong answer.
59orry,7 you reply, 5but ( refuse to get downgraded this way.7
)hen, you coldly shake her hand, hop on the train to "hiang $ai and never look back.
As she will not write you no more, nor will you write her. (n time, youll be fighting
urges to get back in touch to confront or plead for the renewal of your friendship, but
pride shall prevent you from doing so. 8ventually, pride shall be replaced by acceptance
and life will go on, as it always has, as it always will.
?O
Well yes, man. Ac,uaintances AsameB