Im sorry.

It called out umpteen times in my heart whilst seeing this woman who we called the
sisin-law. This was my second visit to Peters house. I finally had the chance to speak to her, most
of the time, in private.
Surprisingly, she spoke high-standard English and proved in accordance with her friendly front. Yea,
I initially thought that she was only acting friendly. How could a woman attend to her husbands gay
friends with such enormous hospitality? I wondered..
Soon, I realized she intended to hide nothing and I was the one who was beating about the bush. I
really wanted to know if this woman was ever really friendly to entertain a bunch of gays who
happen to be his husbands gang. I am new to the group and thus feeling puzzled, or curious to be
precise.
I took a very cautious approach by probing her daily life at the beginning. She is a cook with SAF
(Singapore Armed Forces), and according to her, she is responsible for the preparation of food for
the yummy (my own perception) army boys in the camp. And she drives too, when she needs to
send the food to various camps around Singapore. Contradicting to her very housewife look, that
impressed me. On top of all, she told me, she held some kind of Cambridge cert. I suppose it is the
GCE O level from Singapore government. Oh yea, she is a convent girl. She proudly added.
By then, I can almost confirm her friendliness is genuine, if in any way being honed. She and the host
( Peter) have a 19-year-old son, who is studying at one of the Polytechnic in Singapore. They are
waiting for a unit in Singapore as the son intended to move out. My heart goes out to him or both of
them. I swear. I can imagine how awkward and rejected he must have felt but I can never feel what
he feels. Perhaps, he puked!
The guilt surged through me but I tried not to make it too visible to her as this is really offensive and
blatant. Showing sympathy while you are one of those who hurt me? This kind lady, I wish, did not
think me this way as I really had a cosy conversation with her, no matter what my intention was. I
was full of concern and confusion that gushed out like a spring.