Kiwis Aussies

Society Maors are integrated into society Australian Aborigines are not.
Immigration NZ is predominantly British/Scotish in descent Oz is a much larger country and has more diersity in its immigration! including a
large number o" #i$i immigation
%istory NZ "irst settlements $ere midle class "armers. Australia $as historically inhabited by a conicts and rebels.
&elations 'i$is ta#e a lot more e""ort to be true "riends beyond the usual pleasantries. Australians tend to be more open! louder and gregarious in conersation! ery
initing ito their group.
(ebating 'i$is tend to shy a$ay "rom direct con"rontation and debates. %o$eer!
they can ta#e it personally i" you don)t see it their $ay.
*ith Aussies you can hae a good raging debate going about $hateer and it)s
all good "un $ith no harm done.
Attitude to$ards
sports
In Ne$ Zealand rugby matches! the cro$d practically $hispers e+cept "or a
"e$ dramatic moments $hen eeryone bursts into cheers. ,he same
happens at motor races. In Ne$ Zealand you don-t see the outpourings o"
emotion or ocal support li#e one $ould in Australia.
In sports! Aussies tend to be more outgoing and ocal about $hom they support
either at a motor race or rugby game.
&elations $ith
$omen "rom
(o$n .nder
,hey don)t hae a dating culture /the man "luttering the $oman0. ,he
relation reoles more around "riendship and going out in groups.
Spliting the bill is important! since $omen "rom both countries! due to the
$hole "airness culture they hae! a man paying "or a $oman-s dinner can
imply she 1o$es1 the man something in return.
It also seems to be more o" a $oman pic#s the man! $ith Australian $omen
being much more ocal about it. Australian $omen oerall are 2ust ery
direct about $hat they $ant.
,hey don)t hae a dating culture /the man "luttering the $oman0. ,he relation
reoles more around "riendship and going out in groups.
Spliting the bill is important! since $omen "rom both countries! due to the $hole
"airness culture they hae! a man paying "or a $oman-s dinner can imply she
1o$es1 the man something in return.
It also seems to be more o" a $oman pic#s the man! #i$i $omen being a bit more
resered and cool.
3o#es
Once upon a time in the 'ingdom o" %eaen! 4od $ent missing "or Si+
days. 5entually! Michael the Archangel "ound him! resting on the seenth
day. %e in6uired o" 4od! 1*here hae you been71
4od sighed a deeply and proudly pointed do$n$ards through the clouds!
18oo# Michael! loo# $hat I-e made.1 Archangel Michael loo#ed puzzled
and said! 1*hat is it71
1It-s a planet! replied 4od! 1and I-e put 8I95 on it. I-m going to call it 5arth
and it-s going to be a great place o" balance1.
1Balance71 in6uired Michael! still con"used.
4od e+plained! pointing to di""erent parts o" 5arth.
19or e+ample! Northern 5urope $ill be a place o" great opportunity and
$ealth $hile Southern 5urope is going to be poor: the Middle 5ast oer
there $ill be a hot spot.1
1Oer there I-e placed a continent o" $hite people and oer there is a
continent o" blac# people1 4od continued! pointing to di""erent countries.
1And oer there! I call this place America.
North America $ill be rich and po$er"ul and cold! $hile South America $ill
be poor! and hot and "riendly. And the little spot in the middle is ;entral
America $hich is a %ot spot. ;an you see the balance71
1<es1 said the Archangel! impressed by 4ods $or#! then he pointed to a
smallish land mass and as#ed! 1*hat-s that one71
1Ah1 said 4od. 1,hat-s Ne$ Zealand! the most glorious place on 5arth.
,here are beauti"ul mountains! rain"orests! riers! streams and an e+6uisite
coast line. ,he people are good loo#ing! intelligent and humorous and
they-re going to be "ound traeling the $orld. ,hey-ll be e+tremely sociable!
hard0$or#ing and high0achieing! and they $ill be #no$n throughout the
$orld as diplomats and carriers o" peace. I-m also going to gie them super0
human! unde"eatable! strong in character citizens $ho $ill be admired and
"eared by all $ho come across them1.
Michael gasped in $onder and admiration but then e+claimed! 1<ou said
there $ill be BA8AN;5=1
4od replied $isely. 1*ait until you see the b>>>s I-m putting ne+t to them1
An Australian! a 'i$i and South A"rican are in a bar one night haing a beer.
All o" a sudden the South A"rican drin#s his beer! thro$s his glass in the air! pulls
out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.. 1In Seth 5"ri#a our glasses are so
cheap that $e don-t need to drin# "rom the same one t$ice!1 he says.
,he 'i$i! obiously impressed by this! drin#s his beer! thro$s his glass into the
air! pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. 1*ull mate! in Noo Zulland
$e hae so much sand to ma#e the glasses that $e don-t need to drin# out the
same glass either!1 he says.
,he Australian! cool as a 'oala! pic#s up his beer and drin#s it! thro$s his glass
in the air! pulls out his gun and shoots the South A"rican and the 'i$i. %e turns to
the astonished barman and says!1In Strailya mate! $e hae so many bloody
South A"ricans and 'i$is that $e don-t need to drin# $ith the same ones t$ice.1
Although friendly, Argentinians are regarded as a bit stuck up, smug and proud by other Latin Americans.
Jokes on Argentinians
1- An Argentinian is a Spanish-speaking Italian who thinks hes an nglishman and wants to li!e in "aris.
#- $hat is the best business you can do in this life%
&o buy an Argentinian for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth.
(- )ow does an Argentinian commit suicide%
)e climbs to the top of his ego, then he *umps.
+- $hat is ego%
go is the little Argentinian inside each of us.
,- $hy do Argentinians look up to the sky e!ery time there is a lightning flash%
-ecause they think .od is taking their photograph.
/- 0o you know how to make an 1ruguayan%
2ou mi3 a Spaniard, an Italian and some s44, but not a lot, or you could get an Argentinian.
5- )ow do Argentinians start their lo!e letters%
6I know you miss me...6
7- An Argentinian was making lo!e to his girlfriend, when she says8 9h, my .od.
And he answers8 well, in the intimacy you can call me 9scar.
:- )ow do you recogni;e an Argentinian spy% <rom the sign on her back that says, 6I am the greatest spy in the world.6
1=- An Argentinian asks a Spaniard, 6<riend, do you know which country is closest to hea!en%6 6Argentina, I suppose,6 retorts the
angry Spaniard. 6>o, friend,6 say the Argentine. 6It's 1ruguay?6
11- A man meets an Argentinian on the street and asks him for a light. &he Argentinian starts patting his pants, chest, and seat
pockets. 6Sorry,6 he says, 6I can't find my lighter - but man, do I ha!e a great body?6
1#- A psychologist calls her colleague at #am. 6It's an emergency?6 she says. 6At two in the morning% It better be good,6 says the
colleague. 6I ha!e a uni@ue client,6 says the first. 6It's an inferiority comple3?6 6An inferiority comple3% -ut they're so common?6
shouts the colleague. &he psychologist responds, 62es, but...an Argentinian%6
1(- .od is creating the different countries. )e says to .abriel, 6)ere's a good one8 lots of rich land, beautiful high mountains, great
beaches, !erdant forests and a wide !ariety of climates and animals. $hat do you think%6 .abriel replies, 6-ut that's so much to
gi!e to one place?6 6It's 9A,6 says .od, 6I'll fill it with Argentinians.6