Kriya Yoga:

Synthesis of a Personal Experience

Ennio Nimis

1
CONTENTS

Contents

First part
MY SEARCH OF THE ORIGINAL KRIYA
1. Yoga self-taught
2. Kriya Yoga from organizations
. The inestima!le "alue of #apa
$. Follo%ing some tea&hers outsi'e the organization
(. ) har' 'e&ision

Se&on' part
METHODOLOGY AND TECHNIQUES OF KRIYA YOGA
*. The !asi& Te&hni+ues of Kriya Yoga
,. -ntro'u&tion to Se&on' Kriya
.. /igher Kriyas !eyon' the Se&on'
0. 1alua!le "ariations of some Kriya pro&e'ures
Thir' part
BUILDING A SOLID FOUNDATION FOR THE PRACTICE OF KRIYA
YOGA

12. 3ui'elines for 'e"eloping a personal routine
11. The 4rayer of the /eart
12. The Kriya of the &ells

Appendix 15 )!out premature Kun'alini a%a6ening
Appendix 25 7igging in 4.Y.8s literature
Appendix 35 )!out the in&remental routines &on&erning the Tri!hangamurari
mo"ement
Glossary
Bibliography
ii

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2
PART I: MY SEARCH OF THE ORIGINAL KRIYA
C/)4TE9 1
YOGA SELF-TAUGHT
:y spiritual sear&h !egan at age 1( after - !ought an intro'u&tory !oo6 on
&lassi&al Yoga. - 'on8t remem!er the title of that first !oo6; !ut !oo6s of <.K.S.
-yengar follo%e' an' then finally the auto!iography of an -n'ian saint; %here -
foun' the term Kriya Yoga. :y interest in Yoga ha' !een fuele' !y a &ertain
e=pe&tation of the effe&ti"eness of the oriental forms of me'itation that ha'
slo%ly &oales&e' 'uring my &hil'hoo' an' early a'oles&en&e. <ut first things
first...
-n primary s&hool; unli6e my peers - !orro%e' esoteri& !oo6s from my
parents8 frien's an' - lo"e' those !oo6s. - remem!er that the first one - rea' from
en' to en' %as on o&&ultism. Kno%ing the !oo6 %as &onsi'ere' unsuita!le for
my age; - %as prou' to !e a!le to rea' an' un'erstan' it. - turne' a 'eaf ear to
any persuasi"e a'"i&e to 'e'i&ate myself to more formati"e rea'ings. - &ontinue'
these rea'ings until - %as a!out 11. - %aste' a lot of time on %orthless !oo6s an'
sta&6s of spe&ialize' esoteri& magazines %ith tantalizing titles an' i'le fan&ies
'esigne' essentially to impress; an' %hi&h %ere impossi!le to 'istinguish in
a'"an&e !et%een fa&t an' fi&tion. - also &ame into &onta&t %ith the main themes
of o&&i'ental esoteri&ism %ith short 'igressions into phenomena li6e hypnosis
an' spiritualism. -n the en'; - felt - ha' tra"ele' through an in'istin&t &haos an'
thought that perhaps the most pre&ious se&rets %ere hi''en in other !oo6s %hi&h
- ha' not !een fortunate enough to fin'.
7uring this perio'; %hen - %as perhaps 12 or 11; - sa% the %or' >Yoga>
for the first time in a postal &atalog of esoteri& !oo6s among my father8s
&orrespon'en&e. - %as entran&e' an' ine=pli&a!ly spell!oun' !y the person
pi&ture' on the &o"er sitting in the >lotus position.> /o%e"er; - &oul'n8t persua'e
my father to !uy the !oo6 for me.
?hen - %as 1( an' in high s&hool; the esoteri& flame %as re6in'le' for a
%hile in a parti&ular %ay5 a frien' tol' me he ha' a 'etaile' te=t!oo6 &ontaining
'ifferent Pranayama te&hni+ues; an' a''e'5 >These e=er&ise are use' to o!tain
inner transformation....>
- %as 'eeply intrigue' !y his %or's5 %hat internal transformation %as he
tal6ing a!out@ Surely my frien' 'i'n8t mean the attainment of a parti&ular state of
rela=ation or &on&entration; or ho% to integrate the oriental "ision of e=isten&e
%ith our lifestyle. /e must !e referring to some intense e=perien&e that left a
lasting psy&hologi&al mar6. Pranayama %as something - ha' to learn as soon as
possi!le. <ut my frien' %oul' not len' me the !oo6.
) fe% 'ays later at the train station ne%sstan'; - spotte' a simple Hatha
Yoga manual an' !ought it forth%ith an' rea' it in its entirety. )lthough -
thought - %as sear&hing for physi&al an' mental &ontrol; my spiritual sear&h ha'

in fa&t !egun.
Anfortunately; this !oo6 %as more of a philosophi&al intro'u&tion an' 'i'
not stir up anything spiritual. -t %as neither impressi"e nor thought pro"o6ing
B#i"a; 4ra6riti; 4urusha...C. The authorDs goal seeme' to !e solely to gi"e the
rea'er the impression of serious authority. E"en &on&epts li6e 9ein&arnation;
Karma; Dharma, an' aya, the un'erstan'ing of %hi&h in the future %oul'
!e&ome so important in my life; remaine' unfathoma!le; hi''en in a tangle of
Sans6rit terms. Pranayama %as only hinte' at !y e=plaining ho% to 'o a
&omplete !reath E 'ilating the a!'omen; 'iaphragm; an' upper &hest 'uring
inhalation an' &ontra&ting the same in re"erse or'er for a &alm e=halation. That
%as &learly an intro'u&tion; nothing else.
- %as sure that the an&ient art of Pranayama %as not inten'e' simply to
train the &hest mus&les; strengthen the 'iaphragm or &reate pe&uliar &on'itions of
!loo' o=ygenation; !ut %as also meant to a&t on the energy present in our
psy&ho-physi&al system. -t %as &ommon 6no%le'ge that the inharmonious state
of that energy &oul' !e relate' to &onfli&ts an' 'isharmonies %ithin. - %as
frustrate' a!out the la&6 of in-'epth information a!out Pranayama. The author
&on&lu'e' !y saying that Pranayama shoul' !e learne' from an e=perien&e'
tea&her !ut instea' of a''ing a pre&ise in'i&ation Bthe title of a !oo6; the name of
a s&hool...C; he remaine' "ague a!out e=a&tly ho% to fin' him; maintaining that
%e fin' the Tea&her %hen %e are rea'y to learn.
The se&on' Hatha Yoga !oo6 - a&+uire' %as not a me'io&re one. -t
e=plaine' the name of ea&h posture BAsanaC; ga"e a !rief note on the !est mental
attitu'e for pra&ti&ing it; an' e=plaine' ho% ea&h e=er&ise stimulate' &ertain
physiologi&al fun&tions Bimportant en'o&rine glan's; et&.C. -t %as ta6en for
grante' that these positions %ere not to !e seen as simple >stret&hing %or6-outs>F
!ut %ere a means of pro"i'ing a glo!al stimulus to all the physi&al organs to
in&rease their "itality. The satisfa&tion - felt at the en' of a session spo6e to their
effe&ti"eness.
- !egan 'oing yoga postures BAsanasC in a &orner of our s&hool
gymnasium 'uring physi&al e'u&ation &lasses. - %asn8t "ery goo' in sports
any%ay 'espite !eing %ell-&on'itione' !y long %al6s. :oreo"er; !eing a!le to
'o something signifi&ant %ithout ha"ing to mo"e "ery far an' %ithout the
inherent ris6s of s&hool sports attra&te' me.
)fter the preliminary group %arm-up e=er&ises; %hen the tea&her ga"e me
permission to %or6 out on my o%n; - 'e"ote' myself to mastering Yoga positions
or mo"ing the a!'ominal mus&les %ith the !a"li te&hni+ue. To my amazement
one 'ay the tea&her B%hom - ha' assume' ha' an opinion of me &lose to zeroC
&ame o"er an' in+uire' as to the se&ret of su&&ee'ing in mo"ing the a!'ominal
mus&les in su&h &urious %ay.
There %as an entire &hapter 'e"ote' to the >Corpse 4ose> B#a$asanaC; the last
one to !e pra&ti&e' in the 'aily Asana routine. The instru&tion %as "ery &learly
gi"en an' the author 'i' not lose his fo&us in useless philosophi&al
em!ellishments. /e e=plaine' that the purpose of the e=er&ise %as to +uiet the
mental fa&ulties in or'er to re&harge the %hole psy&ho physi&al system %ith fresh
$
energy. - %as attra&te' !y the gran'iose promise that !y stopping all mental
fun&tions E %ithout falling into a state of sleep E an' remaining for some time in
a state of pure a%areness; one &oul' o!tain %ithin one hour the e+ui"alent of fi"e
hours sleep. - regret not ha"ing the !oo6 anymore; !ut - %ill 'es&ri!e the
e=er&ise !ase' upon %hat - remem!er5
>Gie in the supine position %ith arms e=ten'e' alongsi'e the !o'y an' %ith eyes
&o"ere' to 6eep the light out. )fter staying still for t%o or three minutes;
mentally repeat E H- am rela=e'; - am &alm; - am not thin6ing of anything.D Then;
to enter the state of mental $oid "isualize your thoughts in&lu'ing those %ith
a!stra&t +ualities an' push them a%ay one !y one as if an internal han' %ere
mo"ing them gently from the &enter of a mental s&reen to%ar' its outer e'ge. )ll
thoughts; %ithout e=&eption; must !e put asi'eF e"en the thought itself of
pra&ti&ing a te&hni+ue. You shoul' ne"er !e&ome annoye' !y &ontinuous ne%
thoughts !ut pi&ture them as o!Ie&ts an' shift them asi'eF in this %ay; ne%
&hains of thought are pre"ente' from &oming out. )fter pushing a thought a%ay;
return your a%areness to the small spot !et%een the eye!ro%s BK"tasthaC %hi&h
resem!les a pon' of pea&e; an' rela= therein. The a!ility to &ontinuously push
a%ay thoughts that 6no&6 at the 'oor of your attention %ill !e&ome almost
automati&.
?hen; on some o&&asions E su&h as pra&ti&ing imme'iately after a strong
emotional in&i'ent E the me&hanism 'oes not seem to %or6; &on"ert your
&on&entration into a small needle %hi&h &onstantly tou&hes the area !et%een the
eye!ro%s E Iust tou&hing; %ithout %orrying a!out shifting thoughts asi'e. You
%ill noti&e that at a &ertain point there is no more effort; an' any remaining
restless emotion su!si'es. The thought see's manifesting as in'efinite images
+ui"ering at the e'ge of a%areness &annot 'istur! your mental rest. ?hi&he"er
of the t%o metho's you &hoose; the e=er&ise %or6s perfe&tly an' after $2
minutes you get up %ell-reste' an' re&harge' %ith ne% fresh energy.>
-n my e=perien&e; in spite of the $2 minutes promise' !y the !oo6; the final state
of rela=ation laste' no more than 1( minutes an' the e=er&ise itself ne"er more
than 2(-2 minutes altogether. The te&hni+ue ine"ita!ly en'e' in a pe&uliar %ayF
the state of 'eep &almness %as interrupte' !y the thought that the e=er&ise ha'
not yet !egunF my rea&tion %as al%ays a %in&e an' a faster heart!eat. )fter a
fe% se&on's ho%e"er; &onfi'en&e that the e=er&ise ha' !een perfe&tly e=e&ute'
appeare'. Than6s to this te&hni+ue; %hi&h !e&ame a 'aily ha!it; - realize' on&e
an' for all the 'ifferen&e !et%een >min'> an' >a%areness>.
?hen the mental pro&ess is ease' off into perfe&t silen&e; pure a%areness
%ithout &ontent arises. Gi6e a luminous point 'upli&ating itself an unlimite'
amount of times; it remains un&hange' for some minutes. You 6no% you e=ist
an' that your e=isten&e is in'estru&ti!le E this happens %ithout thin6ing. You
ha"e the in'isputa!le e=perien&e that thoughts are in essen&e ephemeral; an'
instea' of re"ealing the final truth they &lou' it. The Cartesian 'e'u&tion5 >-
thin6; therefore - am> is in'efensi!le. -t %oul' !e more &orre&t to affirm5 >Only
in the silen&e of no thought lies the proof an' the intimate &ertainty of e=isting.>
(
<esi'es the 'imension of esoteri& oriental me'itati"e pra&ti&es; - also ha' a
passion for poetry an' literature as %ell as a ha!it of 'aily see6ing the
&ontemplation of !eauty in Nature% This interest !egan %hen - %as 0. - !orro%e'
a !oo6 of poetry from the s&hool li!rary an' &opie' 'ifferent short poems %ith
naturalisti& themes into a note!oo6. <y rea'ing them fre+uently; - soon 6ne%
them all !y heart. <y re&alling them %hile &ontemplating the hilly surroun'ings
!eyon' the outs6irts of my "illage; - &oul' intensify my emotions.
)s my high s&hool years %ere 'ra%ing to a &lose; - 'e"elope' a passion for
&lassi&al musi& an' <eetho"en !e&ame my i'ol. 7espite the trage'y of his
'eafness at his &reati"e pea6; he rea&te' in a most honora!le manner an' &arrie'
on &reating %or6s he ha' alrea'y &ompose' in his heart. The /eiligensta't
Testament; %here he re"eals his &riti&al &on'ition an' states his 'e&ision %ith
&alm an' total resolution; ma'e him almost a hero an' a saint in my eyes.
/e %rote to a frien'5 >- ha"e not a single frien'F - must li"e alone. <ut
%ell - 6no% that 3o' is nearer to me than to other artistsF - asso&iate %ith /im
%ithout fearF - ha"e al%ays re&ognize' an' un'erstoo' him an' ha"e no fear for
my musi& E it &an meet no e"il fate. Those %ho un'erstan' it must !e free' !y it
from all the miseries %hi&h the others 'rag a!out %ith themsel"es.> /o% &oul' -
remain in'ifferent@ /e %as 'ra%ing in&ompara!le musi& out of the 'epths of his
!eing; an' offering it to humanity. The triumph of this frail human &reature o"er
a nonsensi&al fate ha' a tremen'ous impa&t on me. The 'aily rite of retiring to
my room to listen to that musi& &onsoli'ate' my &onse&ration to the -'eal E
merging %ith )!solute <eauty.
Ea&h 'ay for the first three months after high s&hool gra'uation; %hen -
e=perien&e' a strong romanti& &rush %hose fulfillment seeme' impossi!le; -
listene' to <eetho"en8s issa #olemnis. The more my emotionalism prompte'
me to a&t rashly; %hi&h pro"e' to !e 'estru&ti"e to my lo"e affair; the more my
'esperate heart foun' refuge in the massD pure !eauty. 7uring a %al6 in the
&ountry; sitting on a hill &ontemplating a far lan's&ape !athe' in the %armth of
the summer e"ening; his musi& rang out again in my memory. ?hat my heart
&ra"e' %as !efore me; perfe&t an' untarnishe' neither !y fears nor !y a sense of
guilt. That %as my first religious e=perien&e.
- &hose to stu'y math at uni"ersity. ?hile atten'ing the first &lasses; - un'erstoo'
that a happy &hapter of my life %as &on&lu'e' an' there %oul' !e no time for
'istra&tions li6e enIoying &lassi& literature. )ll my attention %as fo&use' on
fin'ing an effe&ti"e metho' of stu'y an' a %ay to a"oi' %asting my energies.
This meant fo&using in a 'is&ipline' %ay !oth 'uring stu'y time an' 'uring my
i'le moments. For this purpose; - 'e&i'e' to utilize the 'ynami& of the yogi&
88mental "oi'88 te&hni+ue.
One !a' ha!it - ha' to &on+uer %as a ten'en&y to 'ay'ream an' Iump
from one memory to another to e=tra&t moments of pleasure. - ha' forme' the
unsha6ea!le &on"i&tion that %hen thought !e&omes an un&ontrolla!le "i&e E for
many it is an utter a''i&tion E it &onstitutes not only a %aste of energy !ut is the
main &ause of almost all failures in our life. The frenzie' %hirl of the thought
*
pro&ess; a&&ompanie' !y alternating moo's an' strong emotions; &reates at times
unreasona!le fears that hin'er the 'e&isi"e a&tion that life re+uires. On other
o&&asions it fosters an optimisti& imagination that unfortunately pushes the
person to%ar' inappropriate a&tions.
- %as &on"in&e' that 'is&ipline' thought %as the most "alua!le trait -
&oul' 'e"elop; an' %oul' open the 'oors to fruitful a&hie"ements. :y 'e&ision
fille' me %ith euphori& enthusiasm. /o%e"er; after !reathing the limpi';
spar6ling; &elestial state of thought restraint for a fe% hours - en&ountere' a
signifi&ant mental resistan&e. -n the mirror of my introspe&tion; - sa% ho% other
ha!its %ere %asting my mental energy. One of these; %rappe' an' une=pe&te'ly
'ignifie' !y the &on&ept of so&ialization; %as that of falling 'aily into ner"e-
%ra&6ing 'is&ussions %ith frien's. -t %as time to renoun&e it. - a!ruptly a"oi'e'
their &ompany. Certainly mine %as not an impossi!le sa&rifi&e E theirs %as not
my %orl'.
One 'ay 'uring a short afternoon %al6; - sa% them from afar sitting lazily
an' &hatting in the usual !ar. :y heart ga"e a lur&h. They %ere my frien's an' -
lo"e' ea&h of them; yet seeing them together that 'ay they appeare' to me li6e
&hi&6ens &oope' up in a narro% spa&e. :er&ilessly - assume' they %ere
&ompletely go"erne' !y the instin&ts of eating; partying; se=; an' generally
o"erin'ulging. ?hate"er trage'y happene' to their frien' 'i'n8t &on&ern them;
they %oul' ha"e 6ept on sipping the 'aily pleasure of 'a%'ling until misfortune
hit them personally. - foun' it "ery sa' an' 'istressing. The in&i'ent put me in a
gloomy moo'; !ut a senten&e from <eetho"en8s /eiligensta't testament &ame
spontaneously to min' an' e"o6e' the !liss - ha' enIoye' 'uring my high s&hool
years5
O 4ro"i'en&e - grant me at least !ut one day o& p"re 'oy - it has !een so long
sin&e real Ioy e&hoe' in my heart - O %hen - O %hen; O 7i"ine One - shall -
fin' it again in the temple of nature an' of men@ - Ne"er@ No - O that %oul' !e
too har'.
)t that moment - again resol"e' to &on&entrate on my stu'ies; an' passing my
e=ams !e&ame my sole fo&us. - per&ei"e' that perio' of my life as a 'es&ent into
an unfathoma!le night !ut - 6ne% that in or'er to shape my future the %ay -
'esire'; tough sa&rifi&es %ere ne&essary. To see the 'a%n of a >'ay of pure Ioy>;
- %oul' ha"e to en'ure momentarily a 'ar6 emptiness5 - %oul' sa"or it %ithout
lament an' %ithout !eing tempte' to turn on a light for momentary sola&e.
( )ill Die #o ( Can *i$e+
)n e"ent illuminate' my life5 a frien' intro'u&e' me to 3usta" :ahler8s
Symphony No.2 >,es"rre-tion> an' in"ite' me to a li"e &on&ert of this %or6. -
rea' the information leaflet. Ea&h part of the symphony ha' a pre&ise meaning
%hi&h :ahler himself ha' e=plaine' in a letter to the &on'u&tor; <runo ?alter. -t
%as :ahler8s intention to treat 'eath as the ine"ita!le en' to all human
enterprise.
,
The musi& itself &on"eye' a sense of 'esolation %hi&h %as s%eet; as if
'eath meant 'rifting off into a pea&eful sleep. -n a sorro%ful "oi&e of en'less
'ignity; the %or's of the &ontralto &ommuni&ate' a &hil'li6e inno&ent "ision5
. ,/s-hen roth+
Der ens-h liegt in gr/0ter !oth+
Der ens-h liegt in gr/0ter Pein+
1e lieber m/-ht i-h im Himmel sein%
O re' roseJ
:an lies in 'irest nee'J
:an lies in 'eepest painJ
Oh; ho% - %oul' rather !e in hea"en.
?hile listening; - fan&ie' - %as in the &ountrysi'e 'uring a light rain. <ut it %as
spring an' a ray of sun pier&e' the &lou's. )mi' the "egetation there %as a
!eautiful re' rose. That simple "ision !rought sola&e to my heart8s inner a&he an'
%arme' me to a high pit&h of enthusiasm %ith the thought that <eauty %oul' !e
%ith me fore"er; in all the pla&es of my solitary %an'erings.
Then the &hoir sang some "erses from Klopsto&68s hymn5
A"&ersteh2n, 'a a"&ersteh2n
)irst d", ein #ta"b,
!a-h 3"r4er ,"h2+
5nsterbli-h *eben+ 5nsterbli-h *eben
6ird der di-h rie& dir geben+
9ise again; yes; rise again;
?ill you; my 'ust;
)fter a !rief restJ
-mmortal lifeJ -mmortal life
?ill /e %ho &alle' you; gi"e you.
Ne=t :ahler8s o%n "erses %ere &hante'. These en'e' %ith5
it 7l8geln, die i-h mir err"ngen,
(n hei0em *iebesstreben,
)erd2i-h ents-h6eben
9"m *i-ht, 4" dem 3ein A"g2gedr"ngen+
#terben 6erd2i-h, "m 4" leben+
A"&ersteh2n, 'a a"&ersteh2n
6irst d", mein Her4, in einem !"+
)as d" ges-hlagen
4" Gott 6ird es di-h tragen+
?ith %ings - ha"e gaine';
in lo"e8s fier&e stri"ing;
- shall soar aloft
To the light no eye has pier&e'J
- %ill 'ie so - &an li"eJ
9ise again; yes; rise again;
?ill you; my heart; in an instantJ
?hat you ha"e earne' yourself;
Shall lea' you to 3o'J
-n the follo%ing 'ays; - trie' to penetrate the meaning !y rea'ing e"erything -
&oul' on the symphony an' listening to it entran&e' in the +uietu'e of my o%n
room. )fter many integral an' enthusiasti& listening sessions; the %or's5
>Ster!en %er'e i&h; um zu le!enJ> B>- %ill 'ie so - &an li"eJ>C resoun'e' all 'ay
long in my min' li6e a threa' aroun' %hi&h my thoughts &rystallize'. ?oul' -
e"er; !efore ol' age; !e a!le to die to mysel& E namely to die to my egoism@ ?as
it possi!le to &ross the foggy &urtain of thoughts; superfi&ial emotions; sensations
an' instin&t; an' emerge into that pure 7imension for %hi&h - ha' yearne' many
years an' %hi&h - felt %as my /ighest 3oo'@
There %as no 'ou!t - %as %illing to perfe&t my self-impose' 'is&ipline to
the e=treme; !ut !y no means 'i' - %ant to spen' the rest of my life staring at the
%all of my silen&e' min' an' %aiting for something to happen. >- %ill seize Fate
.
!y the throat>; sai' <eetho"en5 so - too %as prepare' to a&t in a strong an'
'e&isi"e %ay.
?hat - misse' %as the art of Pranayama E that Pranayama %hi&h - ha' 'reame'
so mu&h a!out !ut ha' ne"er a&tually pra&ti&e'. ) fe% %ee6s !efore; - ha'
pur&hase' <.K.S. -yengar8s :he (ll"strated *ight on Yoga, an' his 'es&ription of
Pranayama ha' a%a6ene' in me an unsha6ea!le 'esire to pra&ti&e it intensi"ely.
-n the last part of the !oo6 there %as a pru'ent %arning5
>4neumati& tools &an &ut through the har'est ro&6. -n Pranayama, the yogi uses
his lungs as pneumati& tools. -f they are not use' properly; they 'estroy !oth the
tool an' the person using it. Faulty pra&ti&e puts un'ue stress on the lungs an'
'iaphragm. The respiratory system suffers an' the ner"ous system is a'"ersely
affe&te'. The "ery foun'ation of a healthy !o'y an' a soun' min' is sha6en !y a
faulty pra&ti&e of Pranayama%>
This senten&e ignite' my immo'erate %ill to e=perien&e all its po%er; to the
point of >'ying> in it; figurati"ely spea6ing. ?hat %oul' ha"e frightene' others
em!ol'ene' me. -f it pro"o6e' an authenti& psy&hologi&al earth+ua6e; - %as on
the right tra&6. Yes; some pru'en&e %as ne&essaryF an intensi"e pra&ti&e ha' to
!e rea&he' gra'ually an' ea&h session ha' to !e &arrie' out %ith e=treme &are.
The Pranayama referre' to %as !adi #odhana an' 5''ayi B!reathing
e=er&isesC %ith Bandha Bmus&le &ontra&tionC an' K"mbha3a B!reath retention.C
7ay after 'ay; - &oul' per&ei"e Pranayama2s potential a&ting on my psy&he. -
%as &ertain my ol' s&hool frien' ha' tol' the truth E >these e=er&ises &an &hange
a person insi'e>. -t ha' to !e trueJ
Pranayama appeare' to me the most perfe&t of all arts; %ith no intrinsi&
limits. To 'e"ote myself to it %oul' &ost nothing. - %oul' not !e o!lige' to spen'
money on the pur&hase of a musi&al instrument; &an"as an' &olors; or %hate"er.
The instrument %as al%ays %ith me. - &oul'n8t un'erstan' ho% - ha' %aste' so
mu&h time not ta6ing on this &ommitment seriously.
To a!i'e !y it %as The 7e&ision of :y Gife. - pra&ti&e' morning an'
e"ening in an >a!solute> %ay; %ith fero&ious &on&entration; as if there %ere no
tomorro%. - %oul' start %ith stret&hing e=er&ises E an' some simple Asanas
%hen - ha' more time.
1

- pra&ti&e' in the half-lotus position; sitting on the e'ge of a pillo% %ith my !a&6
straight. - fo&use' %ith zeal on applying the instru&tions fla%lessly !ut %ith a
&reati"e spirit. - &on&entrate' 6eenly on the alternate feelings of &oolness an'
%armth pro'u&e' !y the air on the fingers an' on the palm of the right han' use'
to open an' &lose the nostrils. The pressure; the smooth flo%ing of the !reath...
e"ery 'etail %as pleasant. <e&oming a%are of ea&h pe&uliarity of the e=er&ise
helpe' me maintain "igilant attention %ithout !e&oming stresse'.
7uring the 'ay; - foun' my per&eption of things ha' &hange'. :y eyes sear&he'
1
) 'etaile' 'es&ription of this routine BNa'i So'hanaF AIIayiF <an'ha an' final &on&entration in
KutasthaC is gi"en at the en' of this &hapter.
0
for the most intense &olors; fas&inate' !y them as if they %ere &lose to re"ealing
an un6no%n reality lying !eyon' the material. Sometimes in the first sunny 'ays
after %inter; %hen the s6ies %ere &rystalline an' as !lue as they ha' e"er !een; -
%oul' sit in the open air an' &ontemplate my surroun'ings. -n a !ushy 'it&h
&o"ere' %ith i"y the sun she' its light upon flo%ers that a fe% %ee6s !efore
%ere !looming 'uring the &ol' an' no%; hee'less of the mil'est 'ays; still
lingere' in their spell-!in'ing glory. - %as 'eeply inspire'. - %oul' &lose my
eyes an' rely on an inner ra'ian&e a&&ompanie' !y a sensation of pressure on my
heart.
)t that time; my internal life %as still split !et%een t%o interests %hi&h -
per&ei"e' as t%o 'imensions ha"ing nothing in &ommon. On one si'e %ere
esoteri& matters %hi&h ha' gui'e' my sear&h to%ar' Yoga 'is&ipline; %hi&h -
&on&ei"e' to !e an e&&i-a-io"s tool for purifying an' -ontrolling the mind. On the
other si'e %as the aspiration to%ar' the i'eal %orl' of <eauty %hi&h - trie' to
e"o6e through the stu'y of literary %or6s; an' listening to &lassi&al musi&. -
ne"er imagine' that the first 'imension &oul' lea' me to the se&on'J -t %as
reasona!le to hope that Pranayama &oul' gi"e me a permanent !ase of mental
&larity; helping me to not spoil the fragile mira&le of an en&ounter %ith <eauty
%ith a Ium!le of thoughts; !ut - &oul' ne"er ha"e imagine' that Pranayama ha'
the po%er of multiplying the e=perien&e of the Su!lime or e"en ma6e it spring up
from nothingJ - often repeate' insi'e myself an' sometimes +uote' to my frien's
this "erse from the Bhaga$ad Gita5
>BThe yogiC 6no%s the Ioy eternal !eyon' the pale of the senses %hi&h his reason
&annot grasp. /e a!i'es in this reality an' mo"es not then&e. /e has foun' the
treasure a!o"e all others. There is nothing higher than this. /e that has
a&hie"e' it shall not !e mo"e' !y the greatest sorro%. This is the real meaning
of Yoga E a 'eli"eran&e from &onta&t %ith pain an' sorro%>.
?hile repeating it; - %as a&tually sa"oring that #oy.
On a +uiet afternoon %al6 among trees Iust !efore sunset; - +ui&6ly glan&e' no%
an' then at te=t from one of the 5panishads Kan&ient Sans6rit sa&re' te=tsL that -
ha' %ith me. One parti&ular senten&e a%a6ene' an instantaneous realization5
>Thou art That>J
- &lose' the !oo6 an' repeate' the %or's as if in a tran&e. :y rational
min' %as a!le to grasp !ut not fully a&&ept the in&ommensura!le impli&ation of
the statement. -t meant that it %as - that %as the un!elie"a!ly 'eli&ate green light
filtering through the lea"es; !earing %itness to the spring that !rought ne% life.
<a&6 home; - 'i' not e"en try to put 'o%n on paper the numerous >moments of
gra&e> - e=perien&e' from this realization; nor &oul' - ha"e. :y only %ish %as to
'el"e further an' further into this ne% inner sour&e of un'erstan'ing an'
enlightenment.
12
K"ndalini ;xperien-e
)fter ha"ing !ought the %or6s of 9ama6rishna; 1i"e6anan'a; 3opi Krishna an'
4atanIali8s Yoga #"tras Ba !ig "olume %ith &omments !y -.K. TaimniC; - finally
'e&i'e' to !uy the auto!iography of an -n'ian saint; %hom - %ill in'i&ate !y 4.Y.
2
. -t %as a !oo6 - ha' seen some years !efore !ut ha' not !ought !e&ause it
'i'n8t &ontain pra&ti&al instru&tions. :y hope no% %as that - %oul' !e a!le to
fin' useful information su&h as the a''resses of some goo' Yoga s&hools. This
auto!iography enthralle' me an' &reate' a strong aspiration to%ar' the mysti&al
path. -n &ertain moments - foun' myself almost !urning from an internal fe"er.
This pro"i'e' fertile groun' for the &oming of an e"ent %hi&h %as ra'i&ally
'ifferent from any - ha' e=perien&e' !efore. -t %as a 6in' of >intimate>
e=perien&e. Nonetheless; sin&e - ha"e listene' to similar 'es&riptions from Yoga
pra&titioners; - ha"e 'e&i'e' to share it.
One night %hile rea'ing 4.Y.8s auto!iography; - felt a shi"er similar to an ele&tri&
&urrent sprea' itself throughout my %hole !o'y. ) 88shi"er88 %as insignifi&ant in
itself; !ut it frightene' me. :y rea&tion %as rather strange sin&e - ha' al%ays
!elie"e' - %as immune from fear of all things relate' to trans&en'en&e. The
thought flashe' through my min' that a 'eeper e"ent %as going to happen soonF
that it %as going to !e strong; "ery strong an' - %oul' not !e a!le to stop it in
any %ay. -t %as as if my memory ha' some ine=pli&a!le familiarity %ith it an'
my instin&t 6ne% its ines&apa!le po%er. - ma'e up my min' to let things happen
unimpe'e' an' go ahea' %ith the rea'ing. :inutes passe' an' - %as not a!le to
&ontinue rea'ingF my restlessness turne' into an=iety. Then it again !e&ame fear;
an intense fear of something un6no%n %hi&h %as threatening my e=isten&e. -
ha' &ertainly ne"er e=perien&e' a similar state. -n past moments of 'anger; - use'
to remain paralyze'; una!le to thin6. No% my thoughts %ere stirring franti&ally;
pi&turing the %orst results5 loss of psy&hologi&al !alan&e; en&ounter %ith an e"il
entity; perhaps e"en 'eath.
- felt the urgen&y to 'o something; e"en though - 'i' not 6no% %hat. - set
myself into position for me'itation an' %aite'. The anguish in&rease'. ) part of
me; may!e the totality of that entity - &all >myself>; seeme' at the point of
melting a%ay. The %orst thoughts hung o"er me %ithout a &lear reason.
- ha' Iust finishe' rea'ing 3opi Krishna8s K"ndalini< Path to Higher
Cons-io"sness in %hi&h the author 'es&ri!e' the splen'i' a%a6ening e=perien&e
2
The rea'er %ill un'erstan' %hy - am not mentioning the full name of 4.Y. E it is not 'iffi&ult ho%e"er
to figure out his i'entity. There are many s&hools of Yoga sprea'ing his tea&hings a&&or'ing to a
Hspe&ifi& legitima&y8. One of these; through its representati"es; ma'e me realize that not only %on8t
they tolerate the smallest of the Copyright "iolations; !ut they %on8t e"en appre&iate their !elo"e'
Tea&her8s name !eing mi=e' into 'is&ussions a!out Kriya on the -nternet. The reason is that in the past
some people use' /is name to mislea' a high num!er of pra&titioners %ho %ere trying to re&ei"e /is
original tea&hings. :oreo"er; my 'esire is to inform the rea'er that in the follo%ing pages - %ill only
summarily linger upon my un'erstan'ing of /is lega&y; %ithout any pretension of gi"ing an o!Ie&ti"e
a&&ount of it. )n intereste' rea'er shoul' not renoun&e the pri"ilege of turning to the original te=tsJ
11
he ha' follo%ing an intense pra&ti&e of &on&entration on the se"enth Cha3ra.
/o%e"er E !e&ause his !o'y %as pro!a!ly unprepare' E he later met serious
physi&al an'; as a refle=; psy&hi& pro!lems as %ell. )&&or'ing to his 'es&ription;
insi'e his !o'y the energy %as for&e' into &onstant motion from the !ase of the
!a&6!one to%ar' the !rain. So strong %as the energy that he %as !e'ri''en an'
&oul' not a&&omplish normal !o'ily fun&tions. /e literally felt as if he %as !eing
!urne' !y an inner fire %hi&h he &oul' not put out.
?ee6s later; he intuiti"ely 'is&o"ere' the %ay to &ontrol the phenomenon
E the up%ar' flo% of energy through the spine !e&ame a persistent e=perien&e of
internal realization. - %as afrai' - too ha' &ome to the threshol' of that same
e=perien&e !ut; sin&e - 'i' not li"e in -n'ia; perhaps people aroun' me might not
un'erstan'. The e=perien&e %oul' ha"e !een terri!leJ No one &oul' help insure
that my e=perien&e %oul' !e &hannele' to%ar' a positi"e &on&lusion li6e it %as
for 3opi Krishna.
The spiritual %orl' appeare' to me to !e a sorro%ful an' horri!le
nightmare; a!le to annihilate an' 'estroy %hoe"er %oul' impru'ently approa&h
it. Or'inary life; on the &ontrary; seeme' the 'earest an' healthiest reality. - %as
afrai' - might not !e a!le to get !a&6 to that &on'ition again. - %as &on"in&e' -
ha' opene' a 'oor - %as not suppose' to open; so - 'e&i'e' to stop the
e=perien&e an' put off the fatal moment.
- stoo' up an' left the room; out to the open air. -t %as night an' there %as
no!o'y to %hom - &oul' &ommuni&ate my pani&J )t the &enter of the yar' - %as
!ur'ene'; &ho6e'; almost &rushe' !y a feeling of 'esperation; en"ying all those
people %ho ha' ne"er pra&ti&e' Yoga% - su''enly felt guilty an' ashame' of the
harsh %or's - ha' use' against a frien' %ho ha' !een in"ol"e' in part of my
sear&h. Gi6e so many others; he ha' shunne' any pra&ti&e; ignore' lofty rea'ings;
an' 'e&i'e' instea' to enIoy life. E+uippe' %ith a Iu"enile !ol'ness; - ha'
a''resse' him %ith a tone far from affe&tionate; %hi&h no% starte' to thun'er
insi'e my hea'. - %as sorry - ha' thro%n unIustifie' &ruelty at him %ithout really
6no%ing %hat %as in his min' an' soul. - %oul' ha"e li6e' to tell him ho% sorry
- %as to ha"e !rutally "iolate' his right to li"e the %ay he thought %as !est.
4erhaps he ha' preferre' to prote&t his mental health rather than !e&ome unsta!le
or insane through pra&ti&es he %as unsure of.
<e&ause of my great passion for &lassi&al musi&; - hope' that listening to
it might yiel' the positi"e effe&t of prote&ting me from anguish an' help me get
!a&6 my usual moo'. -t %as <eetho"en8s Con-ert &or =iolin and .r-hestra,
%hi&h - listene' to in my room %ith hea'phones; that soothe' my soul an' after
half an hour ease' my sleep. <ut the follo%ing morning - a%o6e %ith the same
fear. Strange as it may seem; the t%o pi"otal fa&ts that to'ay stir my most intense
emotions E that 7i"ine -ntelligen&e is the "ery !asis of e"erything that e=ists; an'
that man &an pra&ti&e a 'efinite 'is&ipline in or'er to attune to it E &on"eye' to
me a feeling of horrorJ
Sunlight poure' into the room through the gaps in the shutters. - ha' a
%hole 'ay !efore me. - %ent out to try an' amuse myself !y !eing %ith other
people. - met some frien's an' spent the afternoon &ra&6ing Io6es an' !eha"ing
12
li6e the people - ha' al%ays &onsi'ere' lazy an' 'ull. -n this %ay; - su&&ee'e' in
hi'ing my anguish. The first 'ay %ent !yF my min' %as totally %orn out. )fter
t%o 'ays; the fear ha' 'iminishe' an' - finally felt safe. Something felt &hange'
any%ayF - ha'nDt thought a!out Yoga, - only thought aroun' it.
One %ee6 later - !egan; &almly an' 'eta&he'ly; to pon'er the meaning of
%hat ha' happene'. - un'erstoo' the nature of my rea&tion to that episo'e5 - ha'
&o%ar'ly run a%ay from the e=perien&e - ha' pursue' for su&h a long timeJ -n
the 'epth of my soul my 'ignity urge' me to &ontinue %ith my sear&h e=a&tly
from the point %here - ha' +uit. - %as rea'y to a&&ept all that %as to happen an'
let things follo% their &ourse; e"en if this pro&ess implie' the loss of my
%holesomeness. - !egan the pra&ti&e of Pranayama again; as intensely as !efore.
) fe% 'ays %ent !y %ithout 'ete&ting any form of fear. Then; - e=perien&e'
something "ery !eautiful.
-t %as night. - %as lying in a rela=e' >&orpse pose>; %hen - ha' a pleasant
sensation; as if an ele&tri& %in' %as !lo%ing in the e=ternal part of my !o'y;
propagating itself +ui&6ly an' %ith a %a"y motion from my feet up to my hea'.
:y !o'y %as so tire' - &oul' not mo"e E e"en if my min' ha' or'ere' it to. -
felt the familiar sensation !ut ha' no fear. :y &omposure %as serene. Then the
ele&tri& %in' %as repla&e' !y another feeling; &ompara!le to an enormous po%er
pouring into the !a&6!one an' +ui&6ly &lim!ing up to the !rain. The e=perien&e
%as a&&ompanie' !y an in'es&ri!a!le; an' so far un6no%n; sense of !liss. The
per&eption of an intense !rightness a&&ompanie' e"erything. :y memory of that
moment is &on'ense' into a single e=pression; >a &lear an' euphori& &ertainty of
e=isting; li6e an unlimite' o&ean of a%areness an' !liss>. The strangest thing %as
that in the "ery instant - ha' it; - foun' it familiar.
-n God ;xists< ( Ha$e et Him; ). Frossar' tries to gi"e an i'ea of his spiritual
e=perien&e. To that en'; he &reates the &on&ept of an >in"erse a"alan&he>. )n
a"alan&he &ollapses; runs 'o%nhill; first slo%ly then faster an' "iolently at the
same time. Frossar' suggests %e shoul' imagine an >upsi'e-'o%n a"alan&he>
%hi&h !egins strengthening at the foot of the mountain an' &lim!s up pushe' !y
an in&reasing po%erF then su''enly it leaps up to%ar' the s6y. - 'o not 6no%
ho% long this e=perien&e laste'. -t 'efinitely pea6e' out at only a fe% se&on's.
?hen it en'e'; - turne' on my si'e an' fell into a &alm; uninterrupte' sleep.
The follo%ing 'ay %hen - a%o6e - ha' forgotten it. -t only &ame up some
hours later; 'uring a %al6. Geaning against the trun6 of a tree; - remaine'
immo!ile for a &ouple minutes; enthralle' !y the re"er!eration of the memory. -
%as floo'e' %ith great Ioy. -t %as as if - ha' %o6en up after a tormente' 'reamF
hea"y limitations ha' !een %eighing my heart 'o%n for a long time an' no%
they ha' 'issol"e'. )n elate' &on'ition stret&hing out far past the limits of my
a%areness E a sort of memory hi'ing in the re&esses of my su!&ons&ious E !egan
to !e re"eale'; as if a ne% area of my !rain ha' !een stirre' to a full a%a6ening.
- foun' myself &ontemplating a 'reamli6e reality; still o!Ie&ti"ely in'isputa!leF it
ha' arisen in me %ith the naturalness of a primor'ial instin&t although it ha'
nothing to 'o %ith the %orl' surroun'ing me in %hi&h - li"e'.
1
Appendix t !"#pte$ %: de&!$iptin ' () 'i$&t P$#n#)#(# $*tine
/ere are the pra&ti&al instru&tions a!out the t%o types of Pranayama that - pra&ti&e' at
the "ery !eginning of my sear&h.
I+ N#di Sd"#n# P$#n#)#(#. -t is important to &lean the nostrils !efore
!eginning the e=er&ise so the !reath &an flo% smoothly. This &an !e 'one %ith %ater or
inhaling eu&alyptus essen&e an' !lo%ing the nose. -f one of the nostrils is permanently
o!stru&te'; that is a pro!lem that nee's to !e sol"e' me'i&ally. -f the o!stru&tion is 'ue
to a se"ere &ol'; no Pranayama e=er&ise shoul' !e pra&ti&e'.
1. The mouth must !e &lose'.
2. Close the right nostril %ith the right thum! an' inhale through the left nostril
slo%ly; uniformly; an' 'eeply for *-12 se&on's.
. 4ause for a mental &ount of after ea&h inhalation.
$. Close the left nostril %ith the right little finger an' ring finger of the same han'.
(. E=hale through the right nostril %ith the same uniform an' 'eep rhythm.
*. Change nostrils.
,. Keep the left nostril &lose'; inhale through the right nostril.
.. Close the right nostril %ith the right thum! an' e=hale through the left nostril
slo%ly; uniformly; an' 'eeply for *-12 se&on's.
This &orrespon's to one &y&le. <egin %ith * &y&les gra'ually %or6ing up to 12 &y&les.
Ase a mental &ount to ma6e sure the time is the same for !oth the inhalation an' the
e=halation. 7o not o"er'o the !reathing to the point of 'is&omfort. The nostrils &an !e
&lose' %ith the fingers in 'ifferent %ays 'epen'ing on the preferen&e of the pra&titioner.
II+ U,,#)i P$#n#)#(#. The te&hni+ue &onsists of !reathing in an' out 'eeply
through !oth nostrils %hile pro'u&ing a soun'Mnoise in the throat. )fter a fe% 'aysD
pra&ti&e; the respiratory a&tion is lengthene' %ithout effort. This e=er&ise is normally
pra&ti&e' 12 times. :entally &ount to ensure that the inhalation an' the e=halation ha"e
the same 'uration. Con&entration on the &omfort an' the in'u&e' &almness is important5
this allo%s the &on&entration to !e&ome 'eeper.
III+ Cn!ent$#tin exe$!i&e. 9emain perfe&tly immo!ile an' rela=e' for at least
( minutes. The !reath is natural an' &alm; the attention intensely fo&use' on the point
!et%een the eye!ro%s.
)fter an initial perio' of pra&ti&e; the Bandhas are a''e' 'uring !adi #odhana
Pranayama. Get us 'efine the Bandhas5 -n 1alandhara Bandha, the ne&6 an' the throat
are slightly &ontra&te'; an' the &hin tilts 'o%n to%ar' the !reast. -n 5ddiyana Bandha
Bin a simplifie' formC the a!'ominal mus&les are slightly &ontra&te'F the per&eption of
energy insi'e the a!'ominal region an' in the spinal &olumn is intensifie'. 7uring
"la Bandha, the perineum mus&les E !et%een the anus an' the genital organs E are
&ontra&te' in an attempt to lift the a!'ominal mus&les in a "erti&al %ay; %hile pressing
!a&6 the inferior part of the a!'omen.
7uring !adi #odhana Pranayama; after ha"ing inhale' Beither through the left
or through the right nostrilC the yogi &loses !oth nostrilsF 'uring the ensuing short pause
the three Bandhas are applie' simultaneously. 4ra&ti&ing %ith intensity an' strength of
1$
&on&entration; you8ll feel a sensation of energeti& &urrent sli'ing up along the spinal
&olumn E an almost e&stati& internal shi"er.
Gater; if it is &omforta!le; one &an "ary the time ratio of inhalation; retention
BK"mbha3aC; an' e=halation. The e=halation shoul' last t%i&e the time ne&essary for the
inhalation an' the pause after the inhalation shoul' !e four times as long. This s&heme
%ill !e 'enote' as 15$52. 7uring the long pause; the three Bandhas are applie'
simultaneously. Time &an !e measure' through mental &hanting of .m. -nhale for a
slo%ly &ount of .m. /ol' the !reath for a &ount of 12 .m. E=hale for a &ount of *
.m.
,emar3s on !adi #odhana Pranayama
Some !oo6s +uote s&ientifi& resear&h en'orsing the !enefit of this te&hni+ue. They
e=plain that !adi #odhana Pranayama shoul' !e pra&ti&e' first !e&ause it !alan&es (da
an' Pingala &urrents. (da Bfeminine in nature; tie' to intro"ersion an' to the state of
restC flo%s "erti&ally along the left si'e of the spinal &olumn; %hile Pingala Bmas&uline
in nature; tie' to e=tro"ersion an' to the state of physi&al a&ti"ityC flo%s parallel to (da
on the right si'e. #"sh"mna flo%s in the mi''le an' represents the e=perien&e half%ay
!et%een the t%o5 the i'eal state to !e a&hie"e' right !efore !eginning the pra&ti&e of
me'itation. )n im!alan&e !et%een (da an' Pingala is responsi!le for a la&6 of
intro"ersion-e=tro"ersion harmony in many people. O"er-fun&tioning of the (da &hannel
results in intro"ersion; %hile pre'ominan&e of the Pingala lea's to a state of
e=tro"ersion.
There are times %hen %e feel more e=ternalize'F others %hen %e are more
internalize'. -n a healthy person; this alternation is &hara&terize' !y a !alan&e !et%een
a life of positi"e relationships an' a serene &onta&t %ith one8s o%n 'epths. E=&essi"ely
intro"erte' persons ten' to lose &onta&t %ith e=ternal reality. The &onse+uen&e is that
the ups an' 'o%ns of life seem to gang up against them in or'er to un'ermine their
pea&eful &omposure. E=&essi"e e=tro"erts !etray frailty in 'ealing %ith their
un&ons&ious feelings an' might fa&e une=pe&te' 'istressing moments. No%; the
e=er&ise fosters an e+uili!rium !et%een (da an' Pingala an' in 'ue time; !et%een a
ten'en&y to intro"ersion an' a ten'en&y to e=tro"ersion.
There are four types of !rain %a"es. 7uring 'eep sleep; 'elta %a"es are
pre'ominant B1-$ os&illations per se&on'C; an' in a 'oze; the theta %a"es B$-.
os&illations per se&.C 'ominate. The !rain %a"es that interest us are the alpha %a"es B.-
1 os&illations per se&.C. They are mostly present %hen the person has &lose' eyes; is
mentally rela=e' !ut still a%a6e an' a!le to e=perien&e. ?hen the eyes are opene'; or
the person is 'istra&te' in some other %ay; the alpha %a"es are %ea6ene'; an' there is
an in&rease of the faster !eta %a"es B1-$2 os&illations per se&.C.
The amount of alpha %a"es sho%s to %hat 'egree the !rain is in a state of
rela=e' a%areness. EE3 measurements pro"e that alpha %a"es in&rease 'uring
me'itation an' the amount of alpha %a"es in ea&h !rain half !alan&e out. No%; the
more %e pra&ti&e !adi #odhana; the more the alpha %a"es ten' to !e&ome e+ual. !adi
#odhana &reates that perfe&t !alan&e %hi&h is the !est &on'ition to enter the me'itation
state.
1(
C/)4TE9 2
KRIYA YOGA FROM ORGANI-ATIONS
An'erta6ing the pra&ti&e of Pranayama %as li6e planting the see' of a mighty
tree in the fe"erish season of my youth an' &ontemplating its safe gro%th at other
times of my life. Pranayama !e&ame my safe refuge %hen the trials of life
&onspire' to %ear a%ay the !asi& Ioy %hi&h %as my inherent nature. <y
sharpening aestheti& enIoyment; it fille' my 'ays %ith the fruition of i'eal
<eauty; reinfor&ing my 'etermination to see6 only insi'e it the tra&es of the
ineffa!le >Prime$al Ca"se> of all things.
- ha' no 'ou!ts that the 9eality to%ar's %hi&h - %as 'ire&ting my life %as
the 88Self88 as &on&ei"e' !y C.3. #ung. - !elie"e' that Pranayama %oul' initiate a
&leansing of the su!&ons&ious part of my psy&he; gui'ing me along the
>(ndi$id"ation Pro-ess> 'es&ri!e' !y #ung. -n my 'reamerDs heart; - fan&ie' -
%oul' fa&e the ar&hetypes of the Colle&ti"e An&ons&ious.... - 6ne% that no man
shoul' un'erta6e su&h a perilous "enture %ithout the gui'e of a traine'
psy&hologist !ut - ha' no fear as - relie' upon my o%n enthusiasm; "igilan&e;
an' in'omita!le %ill to perfe&t my Pranayama% )nother thing ha' !e&ome
a'amantly &lear5 - %oul' ha"e to &hoose a profession that %oul' not o&&upy my
entire 'ay nor all my energy. - ha' to li"e a life that 'i' not !etray my inner SelfJ
The K"ndalini e=perien&e happene' se"eral times !ut ne"er !e&ame
&onstant. -t too6 pla&e espe&ially %hen - 'e"ote' myself to stu'y late at night an'
then lay e=hauste' on my !e'. ?hene"er it appeare' my heart !u!!le' %ith
infinite gratefulness to something higher; !eyon' my &apa!ilities of
un'erstan'ing an' "isualizing.
- !elie"e' Pranayama &oul' help anyone to li"e in a !etter %ay. -n my !eginner8s
zeal; - &oul' not refrain from trying to &on"in&e other people of its !enefits.
Sin&e my frien's 'i' not share my enthusiasm !ut %ere polite %hile listening; -
insiste' on emphasizing some aspe&ts of their !eha"ior %hi&h - 'e&i'e' nee'e'
impro"ement. -n my opinion they %ere e=&essi"e in their 'esire to al%ays appear
&heerful an' %illing to help out. :y point %as that the great amount of energy
they s+uan'ere' in this 'e!ilitating pra&ti&e %as &ounter!alan&e' !y perio's in
%hi&h they ga"e the impression of >implo'ing>. They %oul' in'i"i'ually
'isappear for some time an'; strange in'ee'; they &oul' no longer put up %ith
anyone.
-n short; - %as telling them that their so&ial life %as a far&e; %hile they ha'
la!ele' me anti-so&ial. - 'e&lare' that Pranayama %oul' harness their energies
to%ar's a more !alan&e' psy&he. This generate' a "iolent rea&tion. They replie'
that my %or's %ere 'epri"e' of a genuine sense of respe&t an' lo"e an' that -
%as una!le to sho% sympathy to%ar' others. The essen&e of %hat - ha' foun' in
Pranayama; %hi&h - %ent on e=tolling unflin&hingly; appeare' to them as the
pinna&le of egoism; lea'ing to insulation an' unhealthy 'eta&hment from reality.
3uilt-ri''en; - sa% - ha' pro"o6e' only !itterness. Furthermore; - ha'
!een terri!ly &ruel; ha"ing; for purposes of my 'is+uisition; ta6en a'"antage of
my frien'8s past &onfi'ential a'missions.
Only one frien'; a >/ippie>; un'erstoo' perfe&tly %hat - %as saying an'
1*
sho%e' me some empathyF to him; the only real pro!lem %as my e=&essi"e
enthusiasm a!out the automati& !enefits of Pranayama. /e ha' no 'ou!ts that
my su&&ess in this pra&ti&e 'epen'e' %holly on me. -n his opinion; Pranayama
%as not an art !ringing its o%n re%ar'; !ut an >amplifier> of %hat you ha"e
insi'e; enhan&ing %hat you ha"e alrea'y a&hie"e'. Pranayama; he sai'; &oul'
not &reate anything ne%. )t this point - agree' that Pranayama &oul' also !e
regar'e' as an internal &leaning pro&ess !ut - argue' it %as also an a&tion of
88&lim!ing88 to%ar' a lofty state of &ons&iousness %here!y you a&hie"e'
something ra'i&ally ne%. )t that moment - felt 'isoriente'F - %asn8t a!le to see
that the t%o "isions &oul' &oe=ist E - %as young an' - &ategorize' e"erything as
!la&6 or %hite.
The imme'iate pro!lem %as to fin' other te=ts; nay; all the e=isting te=ts a!out
Pranayama. -n his auto!iography 4.Y. hints at Kriya Yoga, a type of
Pranayama, %hi&h %as first taught !y Gahiri :ahasaya an' ha' to !e mastere'
through &o"r le$els. Gahiri :ahasaya himself %as 'epi&te' as the em!o'iment of
Yoga ? surely there must ha"e !een something uni+ue in his >%ay>J - lo"e'
Pranayama; an' the i'ea of impro"ing it through 'ifferent steps soun'e'
%on'erful. -f the !reathing e=er&ises - ha' alrea'y pra&ti&e' ha' gi"en me su&h
in&ompara!le results; it %as o!"ious that the Kriya four-stage system %oul'
ma6e them greater an' greaterJ :y imagination ran %il' an' my fer"or gre%.
- %ent on rea'ing !oo6s !y 4.Y. - %as amaze' !y his personality; %ith
une+uale' %ill an' an une=pe&te' pra&ti&al spirit. /e 'i' not e=&ite me %hen he
spo6e on a purely 'e"otional tone; !ut 'i' %hene"er he assume' a more
te&hni&al one; ma6ing it possi!le for me to fantasize a!out the glory of Kriya.
?hat - &oul' surmise %as that Kriya Yoga &onsiste' of slo% an' 'eep !reathing
%ith the a%areness fo&use' on the spine; ma6ing the inner energy rotate aroun'
the Cha3ras. 4.Y. highlighte' the e"olutionary "alue of Pranayama. /e
e=plaine' that if %e &ompare the human spinal &olumn to a ferromagneti&
su!stan&e &onstitute' of elementary magnets that turn to%ar's the same 'ire&tion
%hen they are o"erlappe' !y a magneti& fiel'; as taught !y physi&s; then the
a&tion of Pranayama is a6in to this pro&ess of magnetization. <y uniformly
re'ire&ting all the >su!tle> parts of our spinal &or'8s physi&al an' astral essen&e;
the Kriya Pranayama !urns off the so-&alle' >!a' see's> of Karma.

No% my +uestion %as %hether or not - ha' to go to -n'ia to loo6 for a

tea&her to gui'e me. Sin&e - planne' to get through my uni"ersity stu'ies as
+ui&6ly as possi!le; - reIe&te' the i'ea of a Iourney to -n'ia for the near future.
One 'ay %hile again rea'ing a te=t of 4.Y.; - realize' that he ha' %ritten a %hole

?e allu'e to Karma %hene"er %e sti&6 to the &ommon !elief that a person inherits a !aggage of
latent ten'en&ies from his pre"ious li"es an' that; sooner or later; these ten'en&ies %ill &ome out in
a&tual life. Of &ourse Kriya is a pra&ti&e %hi&h one &an e=perimentally use %ithout ne&essarily ha"ing
to a&&ept any &ree's. /o%e"er; sin&e the &on&ept of Karma lies at the !asis of -n'ian thought; it is
%orth%hile to un'erstan' an' spea6 freely of it. )&&or'ing to this !elief; Pranayama !urns out the
effe&ts of the >!a' see's> Iust !efore they manifest in our li"es. -t is further e=plaine' that those
people %ho are instin&ti"ely attra&te' !y metho's of spiritual 'e"elopment su&h as Kriya; ha"e
alrea'y pra&ti&e' something similar in a >pre&e'ent in&arnation>. This is !e&ause su&h an a&tion is
ne"er in "ain an' in a&tual life they get !a&6 to it e=a&tly %here; in a remote past; they ha' +uit it.
1,
set of lessons on Kriya; an' that these &oul' !e re&ei"e' !y &orrespon'en&e.
?ith great Ioy; - +ui&6ly applie' for the &ourse.
The %ritten material tra"ele' !y ship an' the 'elay times %ere enormous.
$
?hen after four months - re&ei"e' the first lesson; - &ame to 6no% that the
-orresponden-e &ourse ha' to !e &ontinue' for at least one year !efore applying
for the Kriya lessons.
:ean%hile - 'e&i'e' to impro"e the e=er&ises - alrea'y pra&ti&e'; using
all the !oo6s - &oul' fin' E regar'less of the language in %hi&h they %ere
%ritten. )t least no% - 6ne% %hat to sear&h for E no more the &lassi& e=er&ises
BKapalabhati, Bhastri3a...C !ut a 6in' of Pranayama in %hi&h the energy ha' to
!e "isualize' rotating; in some %ay; aroun' the Cha3ras% -f this is E as state' !y
4.Y. E a uni"ersal pro&ess; - ha' a goo' &han&e of tra&ing it through other sour&es
an' tra'itions.
Something 'ormant in the &orner of my memory a%a6ene'. - "aguely
remem!ere' ha"ing seen some 'ra%ings in a !oo6 a!out o&&ultism %hi&h
s6et&he' out the 'ifferent &ir&uits of energy throughout the human !o'y. The
i'ea &ame to me to see6 the essential information in esoteri- !oo6s rather than in
the &lassi& !oo6s on Yoga.
- starte' going to a use' !oo6s store %hi&h %as "ery %ell sto&6e';
pro!a!ly !e&ause it ha' on&e !een the Theosophi&al So&iety8s referen&e
!oo6store. - turne' 'o%n those te=ts %hi&h 'ealt only %ith philosophi&al topi&s;
%hile; in e&stasy an' not &on&erne' !y time; - 6ept on s6imming through those
%hi&h illustrate' pra&ti&al e=er&ises %ith &larity. <efore pur&hasing a !oo6 -
ma'e sure it hinte' at the possi!ility of &hanneling the energy along &ertain
internal passages; thus &reating the prere+uisite for a%a6ening the K"ndalini.
?hile rea'ing the in'e= of a te=t %hi&h %as in three "olumes; intro'u&ing the
esoteri& thought of the 9osi&ru&ian <rotherhoo'; - %as attra&te' !y the entry;
88Breathing exer-ise &or the a6a3ening o& K"ndalini.88 -t %as a "ariation of !adi
#odhana% Some notes %arne' not to e=aggerate the e=er&ise !e&ause of the ris6
of a premature K"ndalini a%a6ening; %hi&h %as to !e a"oi'e' !y all means.
This %as 'efinitely not 4.Y.8s Kriya !e&ause; a&&or'ing to se"eral &lues; Kriya
%as not to !e 'one %ith alternate-nostril !reathing.
So - %ent on haunting the !oo6store. The o%ner %as "ery ni&e an' -
almost felt o!lige'; &onsi'ering the &heap pri&e an' the perfe&t &on'itions of
those se&on'-han' !oo6s; to !uy at least one !oo6 per ea&h "isit. Often a lot of
spa&e %as 'e'i&ate' to theories alien to &on&rete life; %hi&h trie' to 'es&ri!e
%hat &annot !e seen or !e e=perien&e' E su&h as the astral %orl's an' the su!tle
&o"erings of energy %rapping our !o'y.
One 'ay; after !ro%sing through a tiresome sele&tion of !oo6s; - %ent to
the store6eeper %ith a !oo6 %ith %hi&h he must ha"e realize' - %as not satisfie'.
?hile 'e&i'ing the pri&e; he thought of something that might interest me. /e le'
me to the !a&6 of the store an' in"ite' me to rummage through a &ar'!oar' !o=
fille' %ith a messy heap of papers. )mong a +uantity of mis&ellaneous material
B&omplete series of the theosophi&al magazine issues; s&attere' notes from ol'
$
- &an still &onsi'er myself as fortunate. - li"e' in North East -taly not far from the !or'er %ith the
former Yugosla"ia. Those people %ho li"e' !eyon' the -ron Curtain &oul' not re&ei"e su&h material.
1.
&ourse on hypnosis et&.C; - &ame upon a !oo6let %ritten in 3erman !y a &ertain
K. Spies!erger %hi&h &ontaine' "arious esoteri& te&hni+ues; among them
K"ndalini@breathing. - 'i' not ha"e mu&h familiarity %ith the 3erman language;
!ut - imme'iately realize' the e=traor'inary importan&e of that te&hni+ue. -
%oul' 'ou!tlessly !e a!le to 'e&ipher all of it at home %ith the help of a
'i&tionary.
(
The 'es&ription of this te&hni+ue still amazes me. 7uring a 'eep
!reath; the air %as to !e imagine' flo%ing insi'e the spinal &olumn. ?hile
inhaling; the air %as risingF %hen e=haling; the air %as flo%ing 'o%n. There %as
also the 'es&ription of t%o parti&ular soun's &reate' !y air originating in the
throat.
-n another !oo6 %ritten in English there %as an e=hausti"e 'es&ription of
the agi- breath E %hi&h &onsiste' of "isualizing the energy flo%ing aro"nd the
!a&6!one; not inside it. Through the inhalation; the energy ha' to go up !ehin'
the spinal &olumn; to the &enter of the hea'F e=haling; it ha' to go 'o%n along
the front part of the !o'y. - &ompletely forgot a!out the other material. The
smir6 of satisfa&tion - %ore !efore the store6eeper hol'ing the t%o !oo6s; as if -
ha' foun' a treasure of unfathoma!le "alue; 'efinitely &ause' an in&rease in their
pri&e. ?al6ing home; - &oul' not help s6imming through the pages. - %as &urious
a!out some rough 'ra%ings illustrating te&hni+ues %hi&h %ere !ase' on the
mo"ement of energy.
- rea' that the agi- breath %as one of the most "alua!le se&rets of all
times; an' if pra&ti&e' &onstantly; a&&ompanie' !y the strength of "isualization;
it %oul' open the spiritual eye. - &on"in&e' myself that this te&hni+ue ha' to !e
Gahiri :ahasaya8s Kriya an' in&orporate' it into my 'aily routine; repla&ing the
pra&ti&e of 5''ayi Pranayama%
( eet .ther Kriyabans
) letter from the organization sen'ing me 4.Y.Ds lessons informe' me a!out other
people li"ing not far from my area; %ho %ere also pra&ti&ing Kriya Yoga. They
ha' forme' a group in or'er to pra&ti&e that 'is&ipline together. - %as
enthusiasti& an' +ui"ere' %ith &heerful anti&ipation to meet them. That night -
&oul' har'ly fall asleep.
>Too !right %ere our hea"ens; too far a%ay; too frail their ethereal stuff>;
%rote #ri A"robindo. - %oul' ne"er ha"e thought that those %or's &oul' !e
applie' to my meeting those peopleJ ?ith a sort of sour irony; - %oul' 'are say
that that phase of my life &hara&terize' !y e=treme enthusiasm for Pranayama
ha' !een too happy for it to last mu&h longer. - no% e=perien&e' firsthan' the
pro!lems; limitations an' 'istortions &ause' !y the human min' %hen it has lost
the ha!it of rational thin6ing. :any times in the future - %oul' ha"e to
e=perien&e ho% life is ma'e of short moments of inspiration an' serenity;
(
- &annot help smiling %hen some half-hearte' people insist that they are fon' of Kriya; yet they %ill
not stu'y some &ru&ial te=ts in English !e&ause they are afrai' to misinterpret them. - am &on"in&e'
that their interests are superfi&ial an' rather emoti"e. Su&h %as my enthusiasm that - %oul' ha"e
stu'ie' Sans6rit or Chinese or any other language; if that ha' gi"en me the &han&e to un'erstan' an
essential te=t on PranayamaJ

10
alternating %ith times %hen all seems lost an' the 'istortions of the ego reign
supreme. ?hile approa&hing the man in &harge of that group %ith total sin&erity;
- &oul' not ha"e imagine' %hat 6in' of a har' sho&6 - %as a!out to re&ei"e.
/e %el&ome' me %ith "isi!le enthusiasm; sin&erely eager to meet a
person %ith %hom he &oul' share the fire of his passion. Sin&e the "ery first
moment of our meeting; stan'ing on his 'oorstep; - tol' him ho% fas&inate' -
%as !y the pra&ti&e of Kriya. /e as6e' me right a%ay %hen - ha' !een initiate'
in this pra&ti&e; ta6ing for grante' that - ha' re&ei"e' the tea&hing from the same
organization he %as a mem!er of. ?hen he figure' out that - ha' pi&6e' out a
!reathing te&hni+ue in a !oo6 an' foole' myself it %as Kriya Pranayama; he
%as horrifie' an' sho%e' a !itter smile of 'isappointment. /e thought -
&onsi'ere' Kriya Yoga a &hil'8s play an' ha' no i'ea ho% serious it %as. 1isi!ly
&onfuse' - !a!!le' something a!out &urrents an' soun' of the !reath; !ut he
'i'n8t %ant to hear any more an' ushere' me to his stu'y. /e emphasize' that
Kriya &annot !e learne' through !oo6s. /e !egan the tale E %hi&h; later on; - ha'
the opportunity to hear plenty of times E of the Ti!etan yogi :ilarepa %ho;
getting no positi"e results from the painsta6ing pra&ti&e of his frau'ulently
learne' te&hni+ues; re&ei"e' the "ery same instru&tions 6neeling at the feet of
an' %ith the !ene'i&tion of his G"r" E so that this time the results &ame out
easily.
?e all 6no% ho% the human min' is more &on'itione' !y an ane&'ote
than !y a logi&al referen&eJ )n ane&'ote; e"en if it is totally fan&iful %ith
fi&tional purpose; is en'o%e' %ith a sort of internal >!rightness> that &on'itions
a person8s &ommon sense. Stimulating emotions an' feelings; it is a!le to &lou'
people8s Iu'gment in or'er for them to easily a&&ept &on&lusions that are a!sur'.
This story left me spee&hlessF - Iust 'i' not 6no% %hat to reply.
There %as only one %ay; a&&or'ing to him; to learn Kriya5 !e initiate' !y
a >:inister> authorize' !y 4.Y.8s organizationJ /e tol' me that no other person
%as allo%e' to tea&h the te&hni+ue. /e; an' all the other 'e"otees of his group;
ha' re&ei"e' the te&hni+ue; s%earing a stri&t an' solemn promise of se&re&y.
>#e-re-y+> /o% o'' this %or' soun'e'; %hat a strange appeal; %hat a
mysterious fas&ination it e=erte' upon my !eingJ Antil then; - ha' al%ays
!elie"e' it 'i' not matter at all ho% a &ertain tea&hing %as re&ei"e'; or %hat
!oo6 ha' !een rea' or stu'ie' in or'er to learn it. - thought that the only
important thing %as to pra&ti&e it &orre&tly; a&&ompanie' !y the 'esire to go
'eeper an' 'eeper into it. The i'ea !egan to enter my min' that it %as in fa&t
o6ay to prote&t pre&ious lore from in'is&reet eyes.
Staring into my eyes; %ith an enormous emotional impa&t; he %ent on to
say that a pra&ti&e learne' from any other sour&e %as >%orth nothing; it %ill not
!e effe&ti"e in matters of spiritual purpose>; an' a possi!le effe&t; only
apparently en&ouraging; might !e >a 'angerous illusion in %hi&h the ego remains
trappe' for a long time>.
-nflame' !y an a!solute faith; he laun&he' himself into a %i'e 'is&ourse
on the "alue of the >G"r"> Bspiritual Tea&herC; a puzzling &on&ept to me !e&ause
it %as attri!ute' to a person that he ha' not 6no%n 'ire&tly. /a"ing !een initiate'
into Kriya through the legitimate' &hannels of 4.Y.8s organization; 4.Y. %as; to
22
him; real an' present in his life; an' 88his88 G"r". The same thing %as true for the
other people !elonging to that group. Their G"r" %as a spe&ial ai' sent !y 3o'
/imself; therefore su&h an e"ent %as >the greatest lu&6 a human !eing &an e"er
ha"e.> The logi&al &onse+uen&e E un'erline' %ith o"erflo%ing emphasis E %as
that; a!an'oning su&h form of ai' or loo6ing for a 'ifferent spiritual path
amounte' to >a hateful reIe&tion of the 7i"ine han'; stret&he' out in
!ene'i&tion.>
/e as6e' me to 'emonstrate for him my !oo6-learne' Kriya te&hni+ue.
/e e=pe&te'; - suppose; to "erify a %ell-roote' preIu'i&e that the te&hni+ue;
re&ei"e' through illegitimate &hannels; &oul' not E !e&ause of a parti&ular
spiritual la% E !e anything !ut &orrupte'. /e smile' %hen he sa% me !reathing
through the nose. Then he as6e' me to e=plain if there %as something upon
%hi&h - %as fo&using my attention 'uring my !reathing. )&&or'ing to the !oo6s -
ha' rea'; the energy &oul' !e "isualize' !oth flo%ing insi'e the spine an'
aroun' the spine. Sin&e 4.Y. %rote that a 3riyaban >mentally 'ire&ts his life
energy to re"ol"e; up%ar' an' 'o%n%ar'; aroun' the si= spinal &enters>; - &hose
the se&on' of the t%o possi!ilities an' this %as the "ersion - e=plaine'. /a"ing
also rea' in another !oo6 that 'uring Kriya Pranayama the pra&titioner %as
suppose' to &hant 88.m88 mentally into ea&h Cha3ra; - a''e' this 'etail as %ell. -
'i' not realize that 4.Y. ha' 'e&i'e' to simplify the instru&tions taught in the
%est; using the other "ariation %ith no mental &hanting of .m.
?hile telling him these 'etails; - sa% an inner satisfa&tion sprea'ing o"er
his fa&e. Clearly he 'i'n8t i'entify my pra&ti&e %ith the te&hni+ue of Kriya
Pranayama he ha' learne'. The >se&ret> he %as !oun' to ha' not !een !ro6en !y
the author of my esoteri& !oo6J 4reten'ing to feel sorry for my &onse+uent
'isappointment; he informe' me in an offi&ial tone that my te&hni+ue ha'
>nothing to 'o %ith Kriya Pranayama>J
) really !izarre situation %as ta6ing pla&e5 - %as 'es&ri!ing for him a
te&hni+ue "ery similar to Kriya Pranayama taught !y Gahiri :ahasaya %hile this
gentlemen %as one hun're' per &ent sure that - %as tal6ing nonsenseJ /o%e"er;
sin&e my position %as totally in&ompati!le %ith his !asi& tenets; he
re&ommen'e' that - sen' a %ritten a&&ount to the hea'+uarters of 4.Y.8s
organization; 'es&ri!ing the 'etails of my "i&issitu'es; hoping that they %oul'
a&&ept me as a 'is&iple an'; in 'ue time; grant me the sa&re' -nitiation to Kriya
Yoga.
- %as some%hat stunne' !y the tone in %hi&h our 'ialog %as progressing.
-n or'er to re-esta!lish the initial agreea!ility of our meeting; - trie' to reassure
him a!out the positi"e effe&ts - ha' gaine' from my pra&ti&e. :y statement
a&tually ha' the effe&t of %orsening the %hole matter; gi"ing him the &han&e to
s&ol' me a se&on' time; %hi&h %as not totally unfair !ut un'ou!te'ly out of
pla&e. /e ma'e it &lear - shoul' ne"er loo6 for any tangi!le effe&ts in the pra&ti&e
of Kriya mu&h less shoul' - 'isplay them; !e&ause in this %ay - %oul' >lose
them.> That &le"er guy ha' tal6e' himself straight into an o!"ious &ontra'i&tion
%ithout e"en realizing itF he %as saying that the results %ere too important to ris6
losing them !y telling others; %hile a fe% se&on's !efore he ha' stresse' that
they %ere of no "alue %hatsoe"er.
21
9ealizing he ha' gi"en too mu&h of his time to me; a strange
metamorphosis too6 pla&e in his 'emeanor. -t %as as if all of a su''en he ha'
!een in"este' %ith a sa&re' role5 he promise' he %oul' pray for meJ On that
'ay; - ha' lost the >fight.> - tol' him - %oul' follo% his a'"i&e. )s a matter of
fa&t; from that moment - a!an'one' Pranayama entirely an' restri&te' my
pra&ti&e to simply &entering my attention !et%een the eye!ro%s BK"tasthaC E Iust
as he ha' suggeste' to me.
A-ting :he Part o& a De$otee
The group pra&ti&ing Kriya met t%i&e a %ee6 to pra&ti&e the te&hni+ues together.
The room 'e"ote' to me'itation %as !are !ut pleasant. Ea&h mem!er pai' part of
the rental; so that &ontinuan&e %oul' not 'epen' on the o%ner8s %hims an' &oul'
!e 'e'i&ate' to an e=&lusi"ely spiritual use. - !egan atten'ing these meetings an'
- remem!er it nostalgi&ally E listening to -n'ian songs translate' an' harmonize'
for %esterners an'; a!o"e all; me'itating together %as a true IoyJ E"erything
seeme' hea"enly to me; e"en though little time %as gi"en to the pra&ti&e of
me'itation E no more than 22 minutes; often !arely 1( minutes. ) parti&ularly
inspiring session of &olle&ti"e pra&ti&e too6 pla&e on Christmas E"e; enri&he' !y
'e"otional songs an' lasting many hours. )t the en' of ea&h me'itation %e %ere
re+uire' to 'epart in silen&e; thus - !egan to 6no% my ne% frien's more &losely
only 'uring the monthly >so&ial> lun&h.
-t %as a !eautiful &han&e to spen' some hours tal6ing an' enIoying ea&h
other8s &ompany. Sin&e many of us 'i' not ha"e their familyDs appro"al; mu&h
less support; in the pra&ti&e of Yoga; the only o&&asion %e ha' to spen' time
among people %ith the same i'eas an' interests %as an e=perien&e of serenity
an' rela=ation. Anfortunately; the pleasantry of our meetings %as partly spoile'
!e&ause the 'ire&tors of 4.Y.8s organization ha' re+ueste' us not to tal6 a!out
other spiritual paths or 'eal %ith spe&ifi& 'etails of Kriya Yoga te&hni+ues% Only
authorize' people &oul' &o"er su&h a roleF no one in our group &oul'.
7uring our gatherings; sin&e our &on"ersations %ere stri&tly 6ept on %ell-
'efine' tra&6s; %e %ere not a!le to fin' a topi& %hi&h %oul' !e interesting an' at
the same time respe&te' the gi"en rules. -t %as not the right pla&e for gossip;
unsuita!le for a spiritual group 'is&ussion. So only one topi& %as left5 the !eauty
of our spiritual path an' our great fortune in ha"ing 'is&o"ere' itJ No %on'er
that; after some meetings of mutual >e=altation>; an almost frightening !ore'om
starte' to reign. )s a last resort; some ris6e' telling some Io6es. They %ere not
mean or insulting Io6es; !ut a light an' inno&ent use of humor. Anfortunately this
also ha' to li"e up to the 'e"otional attitu'e 6ept !y many of the mem!ers an'
e"entually su&&um!e' to their &ol' attitu'e; una!le to sho% a single in&h of true
Io"iality. - &annot say that people %ere 'epresse'; rather they seeme' 'i"inely
happy; !ut %hen you trie' to !e agreea!le you got a loo6 an' a hint of a smile
that left you frozen for the rest of the 'ay. )s a matter of &ourse; the group
un'er%ent a great re&y&ling pro&essF many mem!ers %ho ha' Ioine' %ith
enthusiasm +uit after a fe% months an' then; o''ly an' %ithout 'eep reasons;
22
s&rape' the %hole e=perien&e off their &ons&iousness.
:y open temperament allo%e' me to !e&ome &lose to one person an'
esta!lish a !on' %hi&h later !e&ame true frien'ship. /o%e"er; it %as not so easy
to fin' %hat &oul' !e &alle' a free spiritual see6er. :any ma'e a 'isplay of
emotionally-&harge' 'e"otion; others; perhaps en"isaging the prospe&t of
e=pan'ing our group; seeme' to ha"e the sole aim of raising enough fun's to
pro"i'e our rente' room %ith impressi"e signs of its sa&re' &onse&rationF others
seeme' only so&ial misfits.
Some of them &oul' not !elie"e that - ha' no 'ou!ts or un&ertainties a!out
the Kriya path an' rea&te' to my enthusiasm %ith annoyan&e. They &onsi'ere'
my euphoria the typi&al attitu'e of an immature !eginner. E"en %hile 'oing my
!est to &on"in&e myself that - %as among in'i"i'uals %ith the same passions; -
ha' to a&6no%le'ge that the reality of it %as altogether 'ifferentJ
?ith a !arely &on&eale' impatien&e; - trie' on 'ifferent o&&asions to
re&ei"e some elu&i'ation on the te&hni+ue of Kriya !y 'is&ussing %hat ha' !een
my !oo6-learne' pra&ti&e of it. - hope' that someone; ma6ing some o!li+ue
remar6 a!out it; %oul' help me 'is&o"er the e=a&t Kriya Pranayama te&hni+ue.
No >&ourting> &oul' e=tra&t e"en a &rum! of information from them. Ea&h one
repeate' that he %as >not authorize' to gi"e out any e=planations>; an' this rule
%as stri&tly respe&te'.
)n ol' 3riyaban tol' me5 >?hen you re&ei"e Kriya, you %ill !e
'isappointe'.88 E"en to'ay - still 'on8t 6no% %hat he meant. ?hile - %as
&ontinuously re&ei"ing unas6e'-for lessons of 'e"otion; humility; an' loyalty;
my interest for Kriya !e&ame a real &ra"ing; a !urning fe"er. - &oul' not
un'erstan' %hy - ha' to %ait su&h a long time; an' my great anti&ipation turne'
into a fruitless anguish at times. ) 3riyaban, ma6ing fun of me %ith un&on&eale'
&ruelty; tol' me5 >They %on8t gi"e you the Kriya at allF a 'e"otee shoul' not
'esire a te&hni+ue %ith su&h intensity. 3o' is to !e mostly foun' through
'e"otion an' surren'er.> - trie' to !eha"e li6e a pious 'is&iple !ut 'eep 'o%n -
a%aite' my initiation %ith unimagine' eagerness.
Preliminary :e-hniA"es to Kriya
<y stu'ying the &orrespon'en&e &ourse; - learne' 'ifferent %ays of &reating
healthy ha!its in or'er not to 'istur! !ut rather foster the !lossoming of my
spiritual e=perien&es. - trie' my utmost to em!ra&e the s&hool8s pe&uliar /in'u-
Christian religious premise. -t %as easy for me to a'mire an' &herish the figure
of Krishna; imagining /im as the +uintessen&e of e"ery !eautyF later - !e&ame
a&+uainte' %ith the figure of the 7i"ine :other; %ho %as not the :a'onna; !ut
a s%eetening of the i'ea of the go''ess Kali. :y affe&tion for 4.Y.8s %ritings %as
genuine. Sometimes - &onsi'ere' a parti&ular thought of 4.Y. so appealing an'
perfe&t that - %oul' %rite it 'o%n on a sheet of paper an' 6eep it on my 'es6.
- then re&ei"e' the t%o te&hni+ues Hong@#a" an' .m. The first one
B&alle' Hong@#a" !e&ause of the employe' antra B%hi&h translates as 88- am
/e88C slo%s 'o%n the !reath an' the %hole psy&ho-physi&al systemF the se&on'
2
one &on&erns itself %ith listening to internal BastralC soun's melting into the .m
soun'. - 'i'n8t re&ei"e these instru&tions at the same time !ut %ith an inter"al of
t%o months !et%een. This ga"e me the splen'i' opportunity to &on&entrate on
the first te&hni+ue for many %ee6sF only then %oul' the &om!ination of the t%o
te&hni+ues &ome; the first in the morning an' a total immersion in the se&on' at
night. Thus; - &oul' e=periment %ith the meaning an' !eauty of ea&h.
Our group re&ei"e' the "isit of an el'erly la'y %ho ha' personally
&orrespon'e' %ith 4.Y. Than6s to her earnestness; sin&erity; an' long-time loyal
'is&ipleship she ha' !een authorize' to help us %ith me'itation. /er
temperament %as "ery s%eet an' more in&line' to un'erstan'ing rather than to
&ensorship. She 'emonstrate' the so-&alle' >,e-harging ;xer-ises> B- ha'
alrea'y learne' them from the %ritten lessonsC. These e=er&ises %ere similar to
isometri& stret&hes an' %ere pra&ti&e' %hile stan'ingF pe&uliar to them; ho%e"er;
%as that the Prana %as 'ire&te' to all the parts of the !o'y through
&on&entration.
Then she re"ie%e' the Hong@#a" te&hni+ue. She %ent on to &larify that
the Hong@#a" te&hni+ue %as not easy at all; in spite of its apparent simpli&ityF
!ut en&ouraging us %ith a smile; she &on&lu'e'5 >The te&hni+ue &ontains all you
nee' to &ome into &onta&t %ith the 7i"ine Essen&e>.
*
Then she '%elt on the .m te&hni+ue.
,
She e=plaine' that 4.Y. ha' trie'
to e=plain the tea&hing of the Trinity in a ne% %ay. .m is the >Amen> of the
<i!le E the >H.) G"&t>; the >%itness>; a soun'F a proof of the "i!ration of
energy sustaining the uni"erse. The .m te&hni+ue; 'is&o"ere' !y the mysti&s
long ago; ma6es it possi!le to 'ete&t this "i!ration. Than6s to this te&hni+ue it is
also possi!le to !e gui'e' to%ar' the e=perien&e of the >Sn> E the 7i"ine
a%areness that is present insi'e the a!o"e-mentione' energeti& "i!ration. )t the
en' of one8s spiritual Iourney; one &an rea&h the highest reality; the >F#t"e$> E
the 7i"ine a%areness !eyon' e"ery e=isting thing in the uni"erse.
-n that happy perio' of my life - trie' tra&6ing 'o%n in spiritual literature any
mo"ement or eminent figure %ho ha' a lin6 %ith >Om.> There is no 'ou!t that Saint
#ohn of the Cross hear' the typi&al rushing %ater soun' of the .m "i!ration. /e ga"e a
splen'i' 'es&ription of his meeting %ith the >resoun'ing ri"ers>; the >silent musi&>; the
>soun'ing solitu'e>. Teresa of )"ila in her !oo6 >The -nterior Castle> %rote5 >-t roars
li6e many !ig ri"ers %ith %aterfalls; there are flutes; an' a host of little !ir's seem to !e
%histling; not in the ears; !ut in the upper part of the hea'; %here the soul is sai' to
ha"e its spe&ial seat.> >See6 the Soun' that ne"er &eases; see6 the sun that ne"er sets>;
%rote the great mysti& 9umi. >The uni"erse %as manifeste' out of the 7i"ine Soun'F from -t
&ame into !eing the Gight.> BShams-i Ta!rizNC.
*
Gater on; this te&hni+ue %as 'estine' to gi"e me e=&ellent results !y i'eally esta!lishing a
&onne&tion !et%een ea&h !reath an' a 'ifferent Cha3ra E !ut - %rite a!out this in )ppen'i= $ to the
thir' part of the !oo6.
,
This te&hni+ue 'oes not !elong to those in&lu'e' in the original Kriya Yoga; %herein the internal
soun' per&eption happens %ithout &losing the ears. -t is not an in"ention !y 4.Y. -t ha' !een plainly
'es&ri!e' in the !oo6s of &lassi&al Yoga; &alle' !ada Yoga E >the Yoga of the soun'.> -t is a goo'
preparation for Kriya sin&e instea' of putting the a&&ent on >'oing>; it tea&hes the attitu'e of
>per&ei"ing.>
2$
The la'y8s e=planation %as &hara&terize' !y su&h a sa&re' fla"or that it staye'
%ith me for se"eral months; helping me to o"er&ome the !eginning phase of the
pra&ti&e; %hen it seems unli6ely that the soun's %ill manifest. The results
o!taine' through the intensi"e pra&ti&e of the .m te&hni+ue %ere "ery &on&rete.
- remem!er no% the time spent in that slightly illuminate' room %here - le' a
&loistere' e=isten&e. The rainy 'ays an' early-onset e"enings of ?inter helpe'
my se&lusion an' strengthene' my 'etermination to turn on; through me'itation;
an internal sun. Some %ee6s of zealous pra&ti&e passe' %ithout any result; !ut
one 'ay - !e&ame a%are of a &lear inner soun'. -t happene' after ten minutes of
&alm effort; Iust upon returning to my state of full a%areness; after ha"ing !een
lost in some s%eet re"erie. This soun' &ontinue' 'uring my mental roaming !ut
no% only %as - realizing its nature. -t %as li6e the humming of a mos+uito. <y
listening intently to it; it !e&ame the fee!le soun' of a musi&al instrument
playing far a%ay. ?hen my !reath almost 'isappeare'; it seeme' li6e the tolling
of a !ell e&hoing at 'us6 from the 'eep green of %oo'y hills. Gight; soft as
falling petals; it 6no&6e' gently on the 'oors of my heart; gi"ing total
&ontentment an' ease; as if the spiritual path ha' &ome to its fulfillment.
9e&olle&tions of my infan&y %ere "i!rating at the periphery of my a%areness
%ithout 'istur!ing my intro"erte' moo'. -n times of misfortune; there %as
al%ays a feeling of prote&tion li6e a "ast; &omforting smile surroun'ing me. The
soun' - %as listening to; en&hante' an' thrille'; !rought me no% the same s%eet
feeling of relief. -t ha' in itself all the <eauty e"er e=perien&e'. -t %as the gil'e'
threa' aroun' %hi&h the e=perien&es of lo"e; the most in"ol"ing; the most
e=alte' ones gre% li6e splen'i' &rystals. The healing of ol' %oun's %as attaine'
!y real un'erstan'ing% )n azure; limitless immo!ility s%eetly &laspe' my heart
%ith fingers of !liss. ?hat - thought impossi!le to a&&omplish; %hose a!sen&e
%as so &ruel to a&&ept; materialize' real an' true !efore me.
One 'ay - !elie"e' - %as listening to the a&tual .m soun'. - &annot 'efine
it !ut - &an8t imagine anything !eing a!le to ma6e a person feel so !lissful. For
the first time in my life the &on&ept of >'e"otion> ha' a meaning. The 'aily
&onta&t %ith .m %as my /ea"en on earth for many %ee6s.
Anfortunately; - learne' the hard 6ay that you shoul' ne"er 'eta&h
yourself "oluntarily from that state of gra&e. There %as a time in my life %hen -
%ante' to rela= an' enIoy life; an' - 'e&i'e' to interrupt this &onta&t; as if it %ere
a 'ra%!a&6 to !eing fully so&ia!le. - 'i'n8t realize that this seemingly inno&uous
an' instin&ti"e >!etrayal> %oul' ma6e me una!le to tune %ith the .m3ar reality
for a "ery long time. -n&re'i!ly; in a fe% 'ays - felt hopelessly &ut off from that
s%eet reality. - %as li6e one %ho ha' lan'e' in another &ontinent an' ha' to li"e
in surroun'ings that mean nothing to him. - struggle' to retrie"e the lost 'eep
emotions. This %ent on for months until my soul %as again remin'e' of the
moti"ations that ha' le' me to the spiritual path an' - sa% &learly that my stupi'
'e&ision ha' !een a monumental mista3e.
2(
,e-olle-tions o& the Kriya (nitiation Ceremony
E"entually; the moment &ame to file the appli&ation form to re&ei"e the Kriya
instru&tions !y mail. )!out four months passe' as e"ery 'ay - hope' to re&ei"e
the &o"ete' material. Finally; an en"elope arri"e'. - opene' it %ith heightene'
e=pe&tation; !ut %as 'eeply 'isappointe' !e&ause it &ontaine' nothing !ut more
intro'u&tory material. From rea'ing the in'e= page - un'erstoo' that the a&tual
te&hni+ue %oul' !e sent after four %ee6s. So for another month - %oul' ha"e to
stu'y Iust the usual nursery rhymes - alrea'y 6ne% !y heart.
-n the meantime; a :inister of 4.Y.8s organization "isite' our &ountry an' - too6
part in the initiation &eremony. )fter %aiting for months; it %as high time >to
ma6e an eternal pa&t %ith the G"r" an' to !e taught the Kriya te&hni+ues in the
only legitimate %ay; an' re&ei"e his !ene'i&tion.>
There %ere a!out 122 of us %ho %ere to !e initiate'. ) !eautiful room ha' !een
rente' for the &eremony at a "ery high pri&e an' em!ellishe' for the o&&asion
%ith lots of flo%ers; su&h as - ha"e ne"er seen e"en at the most e=tra"agant
%e''ingsJ The intro'u&tion to the &eremony %as magnifi&ent. )!out 2 people
%earing som!er uniforms entere' the room; an' line' up %ith a solemn attitu'e
an' Ioine' their han's in prayer. -t %as e=plaine' to me that these people
!elonge' to the lo&al group %hose lea'er %as a fashion 'esigner an' ha'
&horeographe' that triumphant entran&e. The t%o :inisters %ho ha' Iust arri"e'
from a!roa' %al6e' mee6ly an' !e%il'ere' !ehin' them. Then the &eremony
!egan. - a&&epte' %ithout o!Ie&tions their 'eman' that - s%ear e"erlasting
'e"otion not only to the G"r" 4.Y. !ut also to a si=-master &hain of %hom Gahiri
:ahasaya %as an interme'iary lin6. 4.Y. %as the so-&alle' G"r"@pre-eptor;
namely the one %ho %oul' partially !ear the !ur'en of our Karma.
-t %oul' ha"e !een strange if no one ha' ha' 'ou!ts a!out this. -
remem!er a la'y %on'ering if 4.Y. E 'efinitely una!le to gi"e any &onfirmation;
no% !eing a long-time resi'ent in the astral %orl' E ha' really a&&epte' her as a
>'is&iple> an'; &onse+uently; to !e la'en %ith her Karma. -n or'er to a"oi' that
%ith su&h thoughts she %ea6ene' the enIoyment of the enti&ing &eremony; -
reassure' her that she %as a&&epte' %ithout fail.
They e=plaine' us that Christ %as also part of this &hain !e&ause /e ha'
appeare' to <a!aIi BGahiri :ahasaya8s G"r"C as6ing /im to sen' emissaries to
the ?est to sprea' Kriya. This story &ause' me no perple=ity at all. 4erhaps - ha'
no 'esire to thin6 a!out it. To &onsi'er the %hole mission of Kriya 'iffusion as
originating from Christ /imself %as a pleasant i'ea. On the other han'; - %as
too an=ious to hear the e=planation of the te&hni+ue %hi&h %as soon to ta6e
pla&e to listen to anything else.
The Kriya te&hni+ue em!o'ie' 3o'8s most effe&ti"e !lessing to%ar' /is
pri"ilege' &reatures; humans; %hi&h e=&lusi"ely possesse' an inner !o'y %ith
se"en Cha3ras. The mysti& se"en-step la''er of the Cha3ras %as the real
high%ay to sal"ation; the fastest an' safest. :y min' %as in great e=pe&tation
2*
for something - ha' so strongly 'esire' an' for %hi&h - ha' seriously !een
preparing for months. -t %as not %hat might !e &alle' a >sa&rament> that - %as
su!mitting to in or'er to safeguar' a family tra'itionF it %as the &ro%ning of a
'efiniti"e &hoi&eJ :y heart %as immensely happy at the thought of the inner Ioy
that - %oul' gain through the pra&ti&e of Kriya.
Finally; after !eing taught the Kriya Pranayama; - realize' - alrea'y 6ne%
itJ -t %as the same K"ndalini@breathing te&hni+ue %hi&h - ha' foun' a long time
ago in my esoteri& rea'ings an' %hi&h pres&ri!es that the energeti& &urrent flo%s
all the %ay insi'e the spinal &olumn. - ha"e alrea'y e=plaine' that - ha' not
ta6en that pro&e'ure into serious &onsi'eration; o%ing to the fa&t that in 4.Y.8s
%ritings %here - ha' my first glimpses of the me&hanism of Kriya Pranayama; it
%as %ritten that the energy ha' to !e rotate' >aroun' the Cha3ras; along an
ellipti&al &ir&uit.>
- %as not 'isappointe' as someone ha' prophesie'F rather; the te&hni+ue
appeare' perfe&t to me. The e=planation of the te&hni+ues aha "dra an'
1yoti "dra Bthey ne"er use' the more &ommon term YoniC &on&lu'e' the
te&hni&al instru&tions. Ea&h te&hni+ue8s 'etail %as e=plaine' in su&h a %ay that it
%oul' not allo% for the smallest "ariation an'; in a''ition; a spe&ifi& routine %as
%armly re&ommen'e'. -f the least amount of 'ou!t on the &orre&tness of a
&ertain 'etail ha' arisen 'uring the pra&ti&e; no!o'y %as en&ourage' E e"en
"aguely E to &on'u&t an e=periment an' &ome to a &on&lusion !y himself. The
only >&orre&t> a&tion %as to &onta&t the hea'+uarters of our Kriya organization;
tell them the pro!lem; an' re&ei"e further gui'elines. This; in effe&t; %as %hat -
al%ays 'i'. - learne' to intera&t only %ith them. - %oul' instin&ti"ely loo6 for
their a'"i&e as if it %ere gi"en !y perfe&t !eings that &oul' ne"er !e %rong. -
!elie"e' they %ere >&hannels> through %hi&h the !lessings of the G"r" flo%e'.
<esi'es; - %as +uite &onfi'ent that E e"en if they %oul' not a'mit it out of
humility E they ha' alrea'y rea&he' the highest le"el of spiritual realization.
Problems 6ith my ,o"tine
- am una!le to e=press the emotion an' feeling of sa&re'ness %hi&h &hara&terize'
my pra&ti&e of Kriya Pranayama. 7uring the 'ay or !efore sitting 'o%n to
pra&ti&e it; - often repeate' to myself the senten&e B+uote' in )OYC !y Galla
Yogis%ari5
>?hat a&i' of sorro% ha"e - not 'run6@ Countless my roun's of !irth an'
'eath. GoJ naught !ut ne&tar in my &up +uaffe' !y the art of !reath.>
This intensifie' my enthusiasm; strengthening my 'etermination to un&easingly
perfe&t my Kriya path. Yet loo6ing !a&6; ha"ing al%ays 6ept ali"e that ar'ent
!elief; - must o!Ie&ti"ely a'mit that the results %ere not 'ifferent from those
o!taine' through the pra&ti&e of the simpler te&hni+ue of 5''ayi Pranayama.
.

.
)fter mu&h e=perimenting %hi&h happene' in the follo%ing years an' &onsi'ering also the reports of
some sin&ere frien's %ho trie' out 'ifferent forms of Kriya Pranayama, - am sure that if - ha'
pra&ti&e' Kriya in the %ay 4.Y. taught 'uring the thirties - %oul' ha"e o!taine' !etter results. That
2,
- ha' some pro!lems %hi&h - %ill no% 'is&uss. B- ha"e no 'ou!t that these
pro!lems &oul' ha"e !een easily resol"e' if - ha' use' &ommon sense.C
The first e=er&ise to !e pra&ti&e' %as the Hong@@#a" te&hni+ue E this ha' to last
12 to 1( minutes. The !reathing %as suppose' to !e&ome more rela=e' an'
&reate a goo' state of &on&entration. Then; after putting the forearms on a
support; %e %ere to listen to the internal Soun's; re+uiring a!out the same
amount of time. Then there %oul' follo% another interruption !e&ause of the
aha "dra. E"entually; setting !a&6 in a still an' stiff position to restore the
feeling of sa&re'ness; the Kriya Pranayama !egan %ith rigorous respe&t to all
the instru&tions. )fter 1yoti "dra, the Kriya routine %oul' !e &on&lu'e' %ith a
full ten-minute &on&entration on the K"tastha; to a!sor! the results of the %hole
en'ea"or.
-n my e=perien&e the t%o preliminary te&hni+ues 'i' not re&ei"e the
attention they 'eser"e'; an' the time 'e"ote' to the final &on&entration %as too
short. 7uring the Hong@#a" te&hni+ue; the thought that - shoul' interrupt it to
start the .m te&hni+ue !rought a!out a 'istur!ing feeling; hampering my %hole
surren'er to its !eauty. The same happene' %ith the pro&e'ure of the .m
te&hni+ue; interrupting it in or'er to pra&ti&e aha "dra%
The te&hni+ue of listening to .m %as a &omplete >uni"erse> in itself an' le' to
the mysti& e=perien&e; %hi&h is %hy its interruption %as something %orse than a
simple 'istur!an&e. -t %as illogi&al; as if; re&ognizing a frien' %ith Ioyous
surprise among a &ro%' one !egins tal6ing %ith him; then su''enly goes a%ay
hoping to meet; +uite !y &han&e; that same frien' again an' get !a&6 to %here
the &on"ersation ha' pre"iously en'e'.
The soun' of .m %as the mysti& e=perien&e itself; the 3oal - sought. ?hy
shoul' - interrupt that su!lime attunement to regain it through another te&hni+ue@
4erhaps !e&ause Kriya Pranayama %as a higher pro&e'ure@ Higher@ ?hat on
earth 'oes that mean@
- for&e' myself into su&h a!sur'ity for an e=tremely long perio'. - hope'
for future &larifi&ation of su&h an un&lear situation. )t that time; the i'ea of using
my !rain an' ra'i&ally &hanging the routine seeme' to me an a&t of stupi'
arrogan&e. Su&h %as the po%er of that insanity %hi&h in our group %as &alle'
>loyalty>J - must a&6no%le'ge that unfortunately - ha' !e&ome li6e one of those
animals that; fe' !y man; ten' to forget ho% to !e self-suffi&ient.
?hen - trie' to 'is&uss this pro!lem %ith other 3riyabans; - noti&e' an enormous
an' unreasona!le resistan&e. There %ere those %ho %ere not satisfie' %ith their
pra&ti&e !ut planne' to try it again in the future; %hile others %ere not a!le to
e"en un'erstan' %hat - %as saying.
Tal6ing %ith a la'y %ho %as a longtime frien' of our family; she
preten'e' to listen attenti"ely; !ut in the en' !luntly 'e&lare' she alrea'y ha' a
te&hni+ue %asMis in'ee' a masterpie&e; far more !eautiful than %hat &ertain s&hools no% offer as
>original Kriya%> -f - ha' re&ei"e' it instea' of the simplifie' "ersion; - &oul' ha"e tou&he' the s6y
%ith one finger. Sometimes - !itterly as6 myself5 >?hy 'i' 4.Y. yiel' to the temptation of simplifying
it>@
2.
G"r" an' 'i' not nee' another. /er remar6 &ut me 'eeply sin&e my intention %as
only to ha"e a rational tal6 %hi&h &oul' !e inspiring for us !oth. )part from this;
%hat sort of frien'ship &an e=ist !et%een t%o people %hen one is so &urt@
To en&ounter su&h episo'es one after the other &onfirme' my i'ea that; not
!eing en&ourage' to trust the "ali'ity of self-o!ser"ation; many frien's %ent on
me&hani&ally performing %hat ha' often !e&ome an empty ritual simply to
appease their &ons&ien&e. ?ith the e=&eption of one person B%ho har!ore' really
strange i'eas a!out the spiritual path %hi&h ma'e me entertain the thought that
he might !e mentally unsta!leC; these ne% 3riyaban frien's seeme' to &ensor my
+uestioning of te&hni+ues; &laiming that 'e"otion %as mu&h more important.
Often they referre' to &on&epts - &oul' har'ly lin6 to the pra&ti&e of Yoga, i.e. the
paramount importan&e %as loyalty to%ar' 4.Y. an' his organization.
?hile their effort in pra&ti&ing the me'itation te&hni+ues in a 'eep %ay
%as not remar6a!le; they trie' !y e=ternal means Brea'ings; 'e"otional &hanting;
&on"o&ations...C to e=tra&t from the 'epths of their psy&he any tra&e of religious
attitu'e; any s&rap of spiritual aspiration. They impregnate' it %ith the natural
heart8s affe&tion for their G"r" ? e"en if they ha' 6no%n him only from photos E
thus o!taining the resolution of a lifelong &ommitment. Goo6ing !a&6 at those
times; - %on'er %hat their opinion %as a!out my impatient attitu'e in &ontrast to
their passi"eness. -n my reasoning; - &oul' not &on&ei"e of the i'ea of leaning
passi"ely un'er the prote&tion of a saint %ho sol"e' all our pro!lems. This
&on&ept; together %ith others - ha' e=perien&e' in that s&hool; %as a &ause of
real &onfli&t. :y approa&h to the spiritual path %as so 'ifferent from theirs that
there %as no hope of rea&hing a point of &onta&t or &ommon groun'.
y remembran-e o& a &riend
- !e&ame a&+uainte' %ith an el'erly 3riyaban, %orthy of ma=imum respe&t an'
a'miration; %ho ha' !egun the Kriya path many years !efore. ?e met ea&h other
in the last years of his life. /e %as totally alone an' - felt "ery !a' %hen - &oul'
not see him for months at a time; !ut for "arious reasons this %as ine"ita!le. ?e
al%ays met for short an' fleeting afternoons; %al6ing an' spea6ing +uietly. - %as
%itness to an ine=ora!le pro&ess that !rought him to the point of li"ing solely for
the memory of the %arm rays of a glan&e an' simple no' on&e re&ei"e' from the
%oman %ho %as hea' of the Kriya organi4ation an' the spiritual su&&essor of
4.Y.. /is 'ream %as al%ays to form a frien'ship %ith that 'i"ine !eing; %hom
he felt %as the epitome of perfe&tion. - trie' to &on"in&e him that to 'eify this
inspiring figure &oul' &onstitute the 'eath of his spiritual a'"enture. <ut my
&ompanion seeme' irretrie"a!ly spell!oun' !y the i'ea of >transmission of
po%er>. /e e=plaine' that in all great mysti&al tra'itions the su!tle "i!rational
strength of the great Tea&hers of the past is still present in their 'es&en'ants E not
!e&ause of &onsanguinity; !ut through the transmission of their >po%er> as a non-
stop &hain. /e %as &on"in&e' that spiritual progress &annot ta6e pla&e e=&ept
through re&ei"ing this >po%er>. -t %as normal that he felt the highest respe&t for
that human &hannel %ho %as offi&ially in"este' %ith the mission of transmitting
their parti&ular >!ene'i&tion>. -t %as therefore reasona!le that he ha' trie' to
20
a&hie"e a pla&e of importan&e in her heart.
The pro!lem %as that this attainment ha' perhaps !e&ome more important
than me'itation. /e e=presse' something that years !efore he %oul' not ha"e
e"en 'are' to thin65 the presume' spiritual e"olution of the in'i"i'ual through
Kriya %as un'enia!le; !ut so slo% as to !e pra&ti&ally negligi!le. Ne"ertheless;
the Kriya te&hni+ues %ere for him li6e a religious ritual %hi&h ha' to !e
performe' s&rupulously Iust to gi"e proof of loyalty.
Anfortunately; this a=iom %as the frame%or6 upon %hi&h he ha' !een
inter%ea"ing his thought. /e ha' gi"en his full appro"al to the i'ea that on this
planet there %ere !oth spe&ial people; >Self realize'>; an' irrepara!ly &ommon
ones. One 'ay he "ente' all of his gloom. Goo6ing at ho% superfi&ially E so he
sai' E he ha' pra&ti&e' the te&hni+ues of me'itation; he ha' no 'ou!ts that in this
life he ha' &ertainly misse' the >target>. /e %as alrea'y 'reaming of future
in&arnations in %hi&h he &oul' pra&ti&e %ith !etter engagement. To this he %as
s%eetly resigne'. - felt a giant %a"e of ine=pli&a!le nostalgia %hi&h %as rea'y to
o"er%helm me; !ut it remaine' &ur!e'; as if suspen'e' aroun' us.
No% that he is no longer ali"e; - %on'er if the i'ea of the transforming
po%er of Kriya that ease' an' sustaine' the first years of his path; %as gra'ually
erase' from his min' !y the ten'en&y of the organization to emphasize through
a &onstant !arrage of ane&'otes the greatness of &ertain persons %ho %ere
>impu'ently> saintly; perfe&t; maIesti&. /o% %ret&he' it ha' !een for my frien'
to !elie"e that his supreme goo' 'epen'e' on a lo"ing glan&e from the person he
thought 'i"ineJ /e ha' ma'e the unfortunate mista6e of !elie"ing that the eternal
spiritual Sour&e in the &enter of his !eing %oul' %ither %hen he %as far from the
one person to%ar' %hom he ha' 'ire&te' the %arm aspirations of his heart.
2
C/)4TE9
THE INESTIMABLE /ALUE OF 0APA
4.Y. %rote that #e-ond Kriya Yoga ena!les the yogi to lea"e his !o'y &ons&iously
at %ill. To !e instru&te' in su&h a %on'rous te&hni+ue %as no% my primary goal.
- %as sure that e"en a 'esultory pra&ti&e of su&h a pro&e'ure %oul' ha"e a strong
effe&t on my spiritual e"olution. )fter re&ei"ing the last lesson of the
&orrespon'en&e &ourse; - finally applie' to re&ei"e this further instru&tion.
- %as "ery happy to stu'y the longe'-for lessons of #e-ond Kriya. 7espite
my serious an' &ons&ientious pra&ti&e; no promise' results su&h as per&ei"ing the
&olor of ea&h Cha3ra on the s&reen of K"tastha; too6 pla&e. - forge' ahea';
utilizing all the en'uran&e an' stamina - ha' !uilt up %ith the .m te-hniA"e; an'
some 88strong88 e=perien&es !egan to o&&ur in the spine. They appeare' hours later
or %hen lying 'o%n imme'iately after the pra&ti&e. This !rought su&h intensity
of 'e"otion that - %as surprise' to 'is&o"er it insi'e myself.
Anfortunately; the %ritten lessons &ontaine' some am!iguous parts. #ust to
gi"e an e=ample; 4.Y. %rote that in or'er to a%a6en K"ndalini it %as important to
regularly pra&ti&e Ke-hari "dra, !ut the instru&tion on ho% to perform it %ere
no%here to !e foun'.
- &onta&te' the el'erly la'y %ho %as offi&ially in"este' as a >:e'itation
Counselor> in or'er to 'is&uss %ith her the te&hni&al 'etails &ontaine' in the
#e-ond Kriya lessons. She &oul' not help me. #ust li6e e"eryone else; she ha'
learne' all the Higher Kriyas only in %ritten form !e&ause; unfortunately; after
4.Y.8s ahasamadhi no 'ire&t initiations %ere e"er gi"en. )&6no%le'ging her
un&ertainties a!out their &orre&t e=e&ution; she a'mitte' that she regrette' not
ha"ing ha' her Higher Kriyas &he&6e' !y :inisters %ho %ere 'ire&t 'is&iples of
4.Y.; 'espite ha"ing ha' plenty of opportunities to 'o so.
)mong the 3riyabans in the me'itation group; there %as a %oman %ho
ha' re&ei"e' Kriya initiation years ago an' ha' on&e li"e' near our s&hool8s
general offi&es. - as6e' if she ha' re&ei"e' the #e-ond Kriya. She 'i'n8t seem to
un'erstan' the +uestion. So; %ith astonishment; - remin'e' her that Gahiri
:ahasaya8s 'is&iple; S%ami 4rana!anan'a; ha' a&&ompanie' the moment of his
'eath %ith the pra&ti&e of the #e-ond Kriya. She !e&ame "isi!ly ner"ous; saying
that the +uotation &learly referre' to the te&hni+ue of Kriya Pranayama5 one
!reath; then a se&on' one. This ha' to !e; in her opinion; the >#e-ond KriyaJ> -
loo6e' at her %ith a mee6 !ut pier&ing loo6F - felt my legs gi"e %ay. - ha' the
impression that the i'ea of a further te&hni+ue to !e a''e' to the too many
alrea'y re&ei"e' an' pra&ti&e' 'aily upset her. -t %as as if she felt she ha' ma'e
so great an effort to form the ha!it of 'aily pra&ti&e of the 7irst Kriya that she
&oul' not muster up e"en more 'e'i&ation. - !elie"e that; up to this 'ay; she has
remaine' fi=e' in her &on"i&tion.
- ha' still not re&o"ere' from this sho&6 %hen an aristo&rati&-loo6ing la'y
'is&lose' to me she ha' re&ei"e' initiation in the so-&alle' Higher Kriyas years
!efore. Full of enthusiasm; my eyes opene' %i'e. She sai' she ha' felt so
un%orthy that she ha' put them asi'e an'; after some time; she ha' forgotten
them entirely. 88ForgottenJ8 - &oul'n8t !elie"e my ears. This last a!omination %as
in&on&ei"a!le to me. /er self-satisfie' ignoran&e; passe' off as humility an' %ho
1
6no%s %hat 6in' of o"era!un'ant 'e"otion; &rosse' the !oun's of 'e&en&y.
?hen - e=presse' my o!Ie&tion that her !eha"ior seeme' an e=hi!ition of
in'ifferen&e to%ar' the higher tea&hings taught !y her G"r"; she loo6e' at me in
!e%il'erment as if my impertinen&e ha' "iolate' an impli&it la%5 'o not
impu'ently enter the intimate arena of her #adhana. She replie' that %hat she
ha' %as enough; an' then !ris6ly &ut off any further 'is&ussion.

Di&&i-"lties 6ith the Printed aterial ,elated to the Higher Kriyas
)fter another year; - re&ei"e' the lessons on the :hird an' 7o"rth Kriya. - %as
startle' rea'ing that these te&hni+ues lea' to the e=perien&e of Astral #amadhi. -
attenti"ely stu'ie' the instru&tions an'; still; there remaine' some 'ou!ts %hi&h -
'i'n8t 6no% ho% to fin' an ans%er for. ) further 'iffi&ulty %as to un'erstan'
%hi&h %ere the most opportune moments to intro'u&e this instru&tions in the
routine. /o%e"er; my enthusiasm %as strong. )fter an attenti"e &onsi'eration of
%hat %as %ritten; - assume' that pra&ti&ing the :hird an' 7o"rth Kriya at the
en' of my Kriya routine %as the right thing to 'o. Anfortunately; that 'i'n8t
%or6; an' - got stu&6 in that %rong ha!it. :y pra&ti&e; inse&ure !e&ause of
un&larifie' 'ou!ts; la&6e' a su!stantial phase of me'itation an' a!sorption after
the e=e&ution of the ne% te&hni+ues. Only in this %ay 'oes Prana su!si'e in the
!o'y %hile gro%ing parti&ular per&eptions originating from the heart Cha3ra,
'ra%; %ith their strong "i!ration; your attention insi'e; lea'ing you straight to the
e&stati& state. The !est results are a&hie"e' %hen you are a!le to fulfill the su!tle
meaning of the pro&e'ure; fo&using on its essen&e an' going in the 'epths
%ithout help from physi&al mo"ements B'ifferently from %hat happens in the
formal e=e&ution of the te&hni+ue.C -n or'er to a&hie"e this; though; it is
ne&essary either to ha"e the gift of an a%a6ene' intuition or to re&ei"e 'etaile'
instru&tions from an e=pert. )t that time; no gui'e %as there to she' light an'
en&ouragement upon me E - %as not a!le to tune %ith a hypotheti&al G"r"
resi'ing in the astral 6ing'oms. - &an8t image %hat gra&e %oul' ha"e !een !orn
in my life if; at that moment; someone ha' gui'e' me to 'e"ise a &orre&t routineJ
:onths %ent !y an' my 'issatisfa&tion gre%. - 'i'n8t 'are 'o anything that
o"ersteppe' the s&anty instru&tions - ha' re&ei"e'. - %as near 'esperation. - 6ept
on as6ing myself ho% the lessons &oul' possi!ly promise the state of #amadhi
%hile; at that moment; 'espite my efforts; - 'i'n8t re&ei"e anything else than
nausea. -t %as improper to try an' &larify my 'ou!ts !y +uestioning el'er
3riyabans% )s - ha"e pre"iously hinte'; %e %ere all in the same !oat. - 'i' %hat
%as re&ommen'e' to me se"eral times5 - %rote to the management of my Kriya
s&hool in or'er to s&he'ule an appointment %ith one of its representati"e
:inisters %ho %oul' soon &ome to our &ountry to impart initiation to Kriya
Yoga.
- as6e' for this inter"ie% !e&ause - really nee'e' it. -t is not in my
temperament to 'istur! anyone on tri"ialities. - am sure that; in or'er to ans%er
my +uestions; it %oul' ha"e ta6en the :inister Iust a &ouple of minutes. -
loo6e' for%ar' to that 'ate %ith great anti&ipation.
2
?hen the :inister arri"e'; my :e'itation Counselor intro'u&e' me to him. /e
sai' he %oul' &larify my 'ou!ts as soon as possi!le. -n the follo%ing 'ays -
!e&ame 'ismaye' %hen - realize' that the :inister 6ept postponing our meeting
%ithout "ali' reasons. Sin&e - ha' 'e&i'e' not to gi"e up; at last %e met.
Anfortunately - foun' this meeting to !e truly 'istur!ing.
- %as &on"in&e' that hypo&risy; !ureau&ra&y; formality; an' 'e&eption
%ere totally alien to one %ho 'e"ote' his life to pra&ti&ing an' tea&hing Kriya;
yet the sensation - ha' meeting him %as a6in to meeting a !usiness man %ho ha'
more important affairs in min' an' %ho %as "ery irrita!le. /e %as emphati& that
%e not tal6 a!out Ke-hari "dra, an' %ith regar' to the :hird an' 7o"rth Kriya
te&hni+ues, he a'"ise' me !rus+uely to restri&t my pra&ti&e to the 7irst Kriya. /e
'e&lare' - %as o"ere=&ite' an' that this %as not a goo' sign for a 3riyaban% -
replie' - %oul' surely ta6e his a'"i&e into &onsi'erationF ne"ertheless; - %ante'
to see ho% to mo"e my hea' &orre&tly in or'er to pra&ti&e those te&hni+ues in the
future.
)nnoye' E ta6ing my remar6 as insolen&e E he re&ommen'e' that - sen'
my +uestions to the s&hool8s hea' an' stoo' up to lea"e as he sai' this. -n "ain -
replie' that the mo"ements of the hea' Bre+uire' for :hird an' 7o"rth Kriya
te&hni+uesC &oul' not !e sho%n in a letter. - %as spea6ing to a >%all> an' the
refusal %as a!solute.
- ha' al%ays truste' an' respe&te' 4.Y.8s organization an' ha' stu'ie' the
referen&e literature as if preparing for a uni"ersity e=am. )fter my inter"ie% %ith
that ill-'ispose' figure; - %as in an atro&ious mental an' emotional state. -
%on'ere' %hat role a s&hool playe' that %as not 'oing its "ery !est to &larify
ea&h gi"en tea&hing. For %hat purpose %ere our ministers tra"eling aroun' the
%orl'; if not to 'ire&tly sho% stu'ents ho% to pra&ti&e %hat they ha"e learne'
through the &orrespon'en&e &ourse@ ?hy shoul' - feel guilty an' unsuita!le for
the Kriya path; only !e&ause - ha' 'are' to as6 Bfirmly !ut politelyC for a
pra&ti&al 'emonstration@ - %as not a!le to 'rop the %hole matter an' %as +uite
agitate'. Those %ho sa% me imme'iately after the meeting sai' - %as
unre&ogniza!le. )mong them; a la'y %ith a honeye' "oi&e suggeste' that - ha'
gotten an important earful from our G"r"de$a E in her opinion; up to that time; -
ha' ha' too self-assure' an attitu'e.
)fter some time; the feeling of ha"ing %itnesse' the senseless %hims of a
man in po%er yiel'e' to a 'ifferent &onsi'eration. 1ery pro!a!ly that :inister
ha' gi"en me the same 'is&ipline he re&ei"e' 'uring his postulant years. )
%oman %ho ha' 6no%n him at that time 'epi&te' him as a "ery &urious 3riyaban
%ho usually put many te&hni&al +uestions to el'er :inisters. Kno%ing the rules
of monasti& 'is&ipline; - %as sure that his +ueries %eren8t al%ays ans%ere'
promptly.
This ma'e me more &alm an' &heerful. /o%e"er; there are often &hil'ish

thoughts that emerge %hen %e are in an un&ertain situation. - %as afrai' that this
man; &ommuni&ating !a&6 to the hea'+uarters of 4.Y.8s organization; might spea6
unfa"ora!ly of me; saying something that might ha"e re'u&e' the pro!a!ility of
my o!taining that &o"ete' information in the future. - feare' that my i'ylli&
relationship %ith my Kriya organization E a !on' that for so many years ha'
represente' my horizon E &oul' !e 'eteriorate'.
Strange as it might seem; a part of me %as relishing the %hole situation. -
6ne% for &ertain that this 'estru&ti"e e=perien&e %oul' someho% !e turne' into
something positi"e; &ru&ial for my path. - %as too mu&h in lo"e %ith the Kriya
path to !e 'aunte' !y any 'iffi&ulty.
The la'y :e'itation Counselor; %ho %as not present on that o&&asion !ut
ha' met the :inister in another to%n; !lame' me for ha"ing turne' the inter"ie%
%ith him into a trou!lesome e"ent. - %rote her a !itter letter; insulting her
in'ire&tly. She replie' "ery firmly; implying that my letter en'e' our frien'ship.
Gater she tone' 'o%n her attitu'e an' in"ite' me to her house to tal6
a!out the e"ent.
First of all - e=presse' to her my irre"o&a!le 'etermination to e=plore all
possi!le sour&es in or'er to &larify my +uestions. - mentione' my i'ea of lea"ing
for -n'ia, an' she mum!le' something a!out -n'ia not ne&essarily !eing any
guarantee of authenti&ity. She tol' me that re&ently some 3riyabans ha' foun' Bin
a %ell-6no%n Ashram stri&tly tie' to 4.Y.Ds life storyC a #6ami %ho ga"e them
>pseu'o Kriya> te&hni+ues that %ere; in her opinion; some meaningless; others
'angerous. She sai' that there %as nothing unusual a!out itF there %ere many
unauthorize' tea&hers intro'u&ing themsel"es as loyal 'is&iples of 4.Y. ?ith a
"i"i' imagination; she &ompare' them to spi'ers using the honey of the G"r"8s
lo"e to attra&t 'e"otees %ho then !e&ame their prey. She spo6e a!out a 'is&iple
of 4.Y. %ho ha' formerly !een one of the 'ire&tors of the organization !ut then
ha' !ran&he' out on his o%n; opening another Kriya s&hool. This man %as a
>traitor> in her opinion.
This %oman ha' enough material to go on %ith her stories in'efinitely; !ut
it %as then that a "ery for&eful senten&e slippe' out of my mouth %hi&h surprise'
me an' froze her5 >Shoul' - re&ei"e Kriya tea&hing from the %orst &riminal in the
%orl'; - %oul' still !e a!le to turn it into gol'. -f it %ere pollute'; - %oul' ha"e
the intuition to re&onstru&t it to its original integrity.> She replie' %ith a sigh that
- %as mo"ing 'angerously &lose to losing the gra&e of my G"r"@'is&iple
relationship.
-n or'er to ma6e me un'erstan' the "alue of re&ei"ing the instru&tions
from a true G"r"; she tol' me %hat happene' %hen one 3riyaban 'e&i'e' to
lea"e the Ashram of his G"r", 4.Y.; an' see6 another tea&her. The G"r"; a%are
of this; got in the 'is&iple8s %ay to stop him %hen he hear' an inner "oi&e E >the
"oi&e of 3o'>; she spe&ifie' E or'ering him not to interfere %ith the 'is&iple8s
free'om. 4.Y. o!eye' an' in a flash of intuition foresa% all the 'is&iple8s future
in&arnations; those in %hi&h he %oul' !e lost; in %hi&h he %oul' 6eep on
see6ing E ami' innumera!le sufferings; Iumping from one error to another E the
path he %as then relin+uishing. Then; in the en'; the 'is&iple %oul' return to the
$
same path. The la'y sai' that 4.Y. ha' !een +uite spe&ifi& as to the num!er of
in&arnations that %hole 'is&ouraging trip %oul' ta6e E a!out thirtyJ The moral of
this story %as &lear; something from %hi&h one &oul' not es&ape5 - ha' to a"oi'
loo6ing else%here or - %oul' lose myself in a la!yrinth of enormous sufferings
an' %ho 6no%s %hen - %oul' !e a!le to get !a&6 on the &orre&t path.
- shifte' my attention to her photograph of 4.Y.; ta6en on the 'ay of his
'eath. -t %as ni&ely frame'; an' some flo%ers an' pa&6ets of in&ense %ere
!efore it. -n those moments of silen&e - ha' the sensation that tears %ere going to
form in his !lissful eyes Bit %as not a !izarre feelingF other people tol' me they
ha' ha' the same e=perien&e.C - relate' my impression to her; in response to
%hi&h she !e&ame "ery serious an'; %ith her eyes pointe' far off to%ar' an
in'efinite spot; so!erly uttere'5 >You ha"e to &onsi'er it a %arning5 the G"r" is
not &ontent %ith you>J There %as not the least 'ou!t that she %as not Io6ing at
all.
-n that moment; - realize' ho% mu&h 4.Y. %as a >presen&e> in her life;
although she ha' ne"er met himJ - let my gaze rest on the !ou+uet of :ay lilies
%hi&h %e ha' pur&hase' at the train station imme'iately after my arri"al in to%n
gra&iously arrange' in a small "ase !efore the photo of 4.Y. She ha' then
e=plaine' that she ne"er s6impe' on fresh flo%ers for her >3uru.> - realize' ho%
full of s%eet &omfort must !e her lifeJ - 6ne% that if - %ante' to feel 'e"otion
%ith su&h intensity - ha' a lot of %or6 to 'o; namely 'e"elop sta!le internal
tran+uility; !o% to my fa"orite form of the 7i"ine; an' repeat this a&tion of
surren'er %ith total sin&erity e"ery 'ay of my life.
)lthough she a'mire' the earnestness %ith %hi&h - %as ma6ing progress E
unli6e so many other tepi' an' halfhearte' people %ho %oul' go to her only to
!e reignite' %ith the moti"ation they &oul' not fin' in themsel"es E she %as
'ismaye' that her 'e"otion to%ar' the G"r" %as totally alien to me. She &oul'
not relie"e my immense thirst for 6no%le'ge of the art of Kriya. Goo6ing into
her !eautiful eyes; - ha' the &lear impression that she %as permanently e=pe&ting
me to a&t in a some%hat >'isloyal> %ay either to%ar' the G"r" or to%ar' the
organization.
The :inister of my organization %as at least right a!out one point5 - %as
not &alm at all. :y sear&h for te&hni&al e=planations ha' ma'e me as tense as a
&oile' spring. )lthough remaining faithful to my Kriya organization; - 'i'n8t
a&&ept "etoes an' therefore - 'i'n8t ta6e her a'"i&e. - %as 'etermine' to 6no%
Kriya insi'e out an' no one &oul' stop me %ith any argument.
:y sear&h too6 a parti&ular route. - 6ne% three names of 'ire&t 'is&iples of 4.Y.
%ho ha' ha' a &lash %ith the s&hool8s !oar' of 'ire&tors an' set out on their o%n.
- hope' to fin' &lues in some !oo6 %hi&h &oul' help me &lear my 'ou!ts. -
pur&hase' all their pu!lishe' material; tape' le&tures an' all. - %as e=pe&ting that
in or'er to sho% ho% profi&ient they ha' !e&ome %ith Kriya; they %oul' pu!lish
information 'eeper than the material pro"i'e' !y the main organization. - hope'
they %oul' gi"e the rea'er B%ho %as negle&ting the original sour&e to listen to
their "oi&e of 'issentC a more a&&urate 'i'a&ti& material.
The first 'is&iple seeme' to !e an e=pert in i'le &hatter an' %as relu&tant
(
to gi"e pra&ti&al instru&tions. The se&on' one %as un'ou!te'ly more
professional; pe'agogi&ally gifte'; !ut out of all of his literature an' tapes only
one of his senten&es she' a faint light upon one of the Higher Kriyas. The
literature of the thir' 'is&iple E surprising an' "alua!le sin&e; ha"ing suffere' the
trage'y of mental illness %hi&h he re&ounte' e=hausti"elyE - foun' Bsa"e for an
illumining senten&e upon the role of Ke-hari "draC only a 'e"astating
emptiness. The se&rets; if they ha' any; %ere %ell guar'e'J
:onths later the :e'itation Counselor foun' out that - ha' rea' the
>for!i''en> !oo6s. Not only that; - ha' ma'e a present of one of them to a
&ouple of frien'sJ ) frien' of mine sho%e' me a letter in %hi&h the Counselor
ha' &alle' me >a man %ho sta!s his G"r"8s !a&6; han'ing out 'aggers to other
people as %ell; so they &an 'o the same>J She &on&lu'e' !y %riting that
88intelligen&e is a 'ou!le-e'ge' %eapon5 it &an !e use' to eliminate the s%elling
of ignoran&e an' also to a!ruptly &ut off the life!loo' that sustains the spiritual
path.88
/er rea&tion %as so e=aggerate' that - %asn8t hurt at all. /er a&tions %ere
o!"iously 'ri"en !y %a"es of una!ashe' emotion; 'e&a'es of stea'fast
&on'itioning; irretrie"a!ly affe&ting her &ommon sense. - felt a sort of ten'erness
to%ar' her an' - smile'; pi&turing the moment in %hi&h she ha' %ritten that
letter E seeing her o%n e=pe&tations regar'ing my !eha"ior &oming true. - am
sure that her &ountenan&e %as at last tran+uil an' serene as if tasting a 'eli&ious;
intimate satisfa&tion.
O"er&oming &ertain relu&tan&e; - !egan rea'ing some !oo6s %ritten !y Gahiri
:ahasaya8s 'is&iples rather than those of 4.Y. :y hesitation in 'ropping the
literature lin6e' %ith 4.Y. %as 'ue to the fa&t that; in my opinion; it %as &learer
than most.
These fe% !oo6s Bat that time !oo6s li6e P"ran P"r"sh !y Yoga&harya
7r. )sho6e Kumar ChatterIee ha' not yet !een pu!lishe'C 'isappointe' me. They
%ere nothing !ut !lan' meaningless %or's endlessly repeated; together %ith
&ontinuous &hanges in topi&; %hi&h - &onsi'ere' un!eara!le. The pra&ti&al notes;
presente' as essential; %ere only s&attere' !its &opie' from &lassi&al !oo6s on
Yoga% The la&6 of &are in their presentation ma'e me suppose that the author ha'
not !othere' &he&6ing the original te=ts he ha' +uote' !ut ha' most li6ely ta6en
those +uotations from other !oo6s %hi&h %ere also +uoting from other referen&e
!oo6s; &ontinuing a &hain %herein ea&h author %oul' a'' a little something Iust
to mar6 his personal &ontri!ution.
- 'e&i'e' to again stu'y all the material furnishe' !y my organization an'
try to 'el"e 'eeper into it. - %oul' meet some 3riyaban frien's on Sun'ays; an'
together rea' &ru&ial passages from the &orrespon'en&e &ourse an' 'is&uss them
'uring a %al6. Our main interest %as ho% to perfe&t the pra&ti&e of Kriya; !ut
our efforts %ere futile E li6e trying to 'ra% !loo' from a stone.
- 'e&i'e' to li"e ea&h aspe&t of my life a&&or'ing to 4.Y.8s tea&hings. The
&orrespon'en&e &ourse &ontaine' esoteri& tea&hings that &oul' not !e &onsi'ere'
an integral part of Kriya Yoga !ut &oul' help stu'ents to 'e"elop their intuition
*
of the su!tle la%s go"erning human li"es.
)t that time - %as espe&ially intereste' in mastering t%o s6ills in
parti&ular5 ho% to re&ognize frien's from pre"ious li"es an' ho% to proIe&t
energy for prani& healing. The tea&hings %ere &learly gi"en %ith all the
ne&essary &autionary remar6s; !ut my approa&h %as 'e"oi' of &aution an'
'is&rimination. - a&te' as if - %ere supporte' from >a!o"e>; imagining that the
!ene'i&tions an' the strength of the G"r" %ere %ith me. - pai' attention to only
some aspe&ts of the tea&hings; &hoosing those parti&ular patterns of !eha"ior that
appeale' to my emotions.
Then my illusory 'ream !egan to 'isintegrate; slo%ly !ut ine=ora!ly.
Failure &ame; an' - felt 'esolate. )t first - &oul' not a&&ept it. - refuse' to
!elie"e - ha' a&te' %rongly. - !elie"e' that mine %as only an apparent failure;
!ut as time %ent !y; all e"i'en&e suggeste' that - ha' neither &ure' nor helpe'
any person in any %ay. This %as the greatest !lo% to me !e&ause - ha' ma'e a
fool of myself an'; furthermore - ha' 'istur!e' the pea&e an' pri"a&y of other
people.
)s for 88pre"ious li"es88; - a&6no%le'ge that in this unpro"a!le territory
e"erything is possi!leF ho%e"er at that time it seeme' so self-e"i'ent an'
sensi!le to me that instea' of using my me'itation-!orn intuition B%hi&h the
re&ei"e' instru&tion aime' at 'e"elopingC - simply too6 figments of my
imagination to &reate "arious min' films; &on"in&ing myself - ha' li"e' them in
a far 'istant past. -n fa&t these 'ay-'reams %ere a&tually %ish fulfillments an'
easy-to-rea' in'i&ators of my li6ings an' preferen&es.
Slipping into a state %herein - 'ou!te' e"en the metaphysi&al !asis upon
%hi&h the e'ifi&e of Kriya Yoga is !uilt; - %as una!le to thin6 a single &oherent
thought for some months.
0
(nspiration &rom the )or3s o& #ri A"robindo and :he other
Su&h %as my situation %hen - starte' rea'ing other, or the Di$ine aterialism;
a !oo6 a!out The :other B:OreC %ritten !y her !elo"e' 'is&iple; Satprem. T%o
years !efore - ha' !een intro'u&e' to the thoughts of Sri )uro!in'o. /is
Aphorisms an' his epi& poem #a$itri ha' 'eeply impresse' me. )fter Sri
)uro!in'o8s 'eath; in 10(1; The :other &ontinue' his resear&h an' ga"e
su!stan&e to his !elief that the 7i"ine E the !asi& intelligent an' e"olutionary
for&e !ehin' e"erything in e=isten&eE &oul' perfe&tly manifest on this planetJ
0
The tea&hings of The :other helpe' me realize %hy - faile' so misera!ly in applying 4.Y.8s esoteri&
tea&hings regar'ing prani& healing. The !asi& mista6e %as that - ha' let a tea&hing e=traneous to
Kriya Breinfor&e' !y egotisti& moti"ations an' to !e fulfille' impatiently at any meansC !e&ome my
first interest. The tea&hing of The :other %as to first &reate the state of ental #ilen-e %iping out all
the ego-!orn i'eas; plans an' 'istra&tions. Through ental #ilen-e the 7i"ine %oul' 'es&en' into my
life; &ross all the layers of my !eing5 thoughts; emotions; sensations.... <y surren'ering to 3o'8s %ill;
- %oul' fin' harmony an' o"erall !alan&e affe&ting all aspe&ts of my life. Only then &oul' my lofty
i'eal !e pursue'. The right attitu'e is not that of a stu'ent of o&&ult s&ien&e testing one among many
esoteri& tea&hings re&ei"e' from their &onfraternity; !ut that of a mysti& %ho surren'ers to the 7i"ine
Ga% an' in this a&t 'is&o"ers that their intention &omes from the 7i"ineF not only that E it presi'e'
o"er; an' 'etermine'; his !irth on the earth plane. There is no 'ou!t that in this &on'ition there is no
failure.
,
>The %orl' is not an unfortunate a&&i'ent5 it is a mira&le mo"ing to%ar' its full
e=pression88; she 'e&lare'. >-n matter; the 7i"ine !e&omes perfe&tP> she %rote.
From 10(. until her 'eath in 10,; The :other re&ounte' her e=traor'inary
e=ploration to Satprem. Their tal6s are %ritten out in other2s Agenda. This huge
'o&ument Q *222 pages in 1 "olumes Q is the a&&ount of t%enty-t%o years of
:other8s 'is&o"eries.
-n analyzing :other8s &omments on Sri )uro!in'o8s aphorisms; - %as
prepare' to rea' the usual elementary e=planations of -n'ian philosophy. <ut
:other8s thought ha' nothing to 'o %ith philosophy. -t %as ne%; something
ne"er hear'; 'issol"ing any myth. - felt an e=plosion of Ioy rea'ing her &omment
to aphorism No. ,25 >E=amine thyself %ithout pity; then thou %ilt !e more
&harita!le an' pitying to others.> )nnotating it; she %rote5
>The nee' to !e "irtuous is the great o!sta&le to true self-gi"ing. This is the
origin of Falsehoo' an' e"en more the "ery sour&e of hypo&risy -- the refusal to
a&&ept to ta6e upon oneself one8s o%n share of the !ur'en of 'iffi&ulties. 7o not
try to appear "irtuous. See ho% mu&h you are unite'; one %ith e"erything; that is
anti-'i"ine. Ta6e your share of the !ur'en; a&&ept yoursel"es to !e impure an'
false an' in that %ay you %ill !e a!le to ta6e up the Sha'o% an' offer it. )n' in
so far as you are &apa!le of ta6ing it an' offering it; then things %ill &hange. 7o
not try to !e among the pure. )&&ept to !e %ith those %ho are in 'ar6ness an'
gi"e it all %ith total lo"e.>
<y saying on another o&&asion; >:orality is the great o!sta&le on the spiritual
path>; she stresse' the "alue of not trying to appear pure in other people8s eyes;
!ut instea' !eha"ing a&&or'ing to the truth of one8s !eing. She !elie"e' one
shoul' a&6no%le'ge one8s 'ar6 si'eF it e=ists in the 'epths of our !eing an' in a
fe% it has 'e"elope' into a %ay of li"ing shunne' !y so&iety. )&&or'ing to her
tea&hing; people !e&ome true in'i"i'uals only %hen in &onstant pursuit of a
greater !eauty; harmony; po%er an' 6no%le'ge; they are perfe&tly an' &ompa&tly
integrate' %ith their 'i"ine &enter. The :other 'i' not !eha"e li6e a tra'itional
G"r"; although she 'i' try to e=tra&t the hi''en potential from all 'is&iples
loo6ing for inspiration.
- %as "ery impresse' %ith ho% she 'ealt %ith the theme of 1apa. She
re&ounte' ho% 'uring the s&reening of a film she hear' the Sans6rit antra5 O:
N):O </)3)1)TE/. She %on'ere' %hat %oul' happen if she repeate' that
antra 'uring her 'aily me'itation. She 'i'; an' the result %as e=traor'inary.
She reporte' that5 >-t Bthe antraC &oagulates something5 all the &ellular life
!e&omes one soli'; &ompa&t mass; in a tremen'ous &on&entration E %ith a single
"i!ration. -nstea' of all the usual "i!rations of the !o'y; there is no% only one
single "i!ration. -t !e&omes as har' as a 'iamon'; a single massi"e
&on&entration; as if all the &ells of the !o'y ha' ... - !e&ame stiff from it. - %as
so stiff that - %as one single mass.> KThis +uotation is 'ra%n from other2s
Agenda%L
)n' yet in that perio' 1apa 'i' not truly !e&ome part of my pra&ti&e. -
e=perimente' %ith :other8s >.m !amo Bhaga$ate> !ut it 'i' not %or6 for me. -
.
trie' to li"e in a more &ons&ious %ay; &ontinuously attenti"e to any in%ar' an'
out%ar' per&eptions. - trie' to &arry out the %ell-6no%n instru&tion to resolutely
maintain an impartial attitu'e to%ar' !oth pleasant an' unpleasant e"ents; !eing
li6e a 'eta&he' >%itness>. BThis 'is&ipline is re&ommen'e' in almost all !oo6s
'ealing %ith oriental me'itati"e pra&ti&es.C )fter three 'ays of that; - felt myself
un'er un!eara!le stress as if it all %as a pretense; an illusion. - &ease' to pra&ti&e
1apa or the 'is&ipline of !eing a 'eta&he' >%itness> an' 'roppe' the %hole
matter.
:ean%hile; my min' %as o!sesse' %ith the &ra"ing to a'opt more
a'"an&e' tools of >e"olution>. :onths %ent !y; %ith useless attempts to
ameliorate my Kriya routine. One year later; resuming the rea'ing of :he Di$ine
aterialism, - %as astonishe' that The :other %as a!le to e=press; in a
euphori&ally "i"i' %ay; my o%n innermost &on"i&tions %hi&h - ha' !een una!le
to &larify e"en to myself.
She reasone' li6e a %esterner an' treate' the themes of -n'ia8s spirituality
%ith a %estern languaging %hi&h %as !oth lyri&al an' rational; an' at the highest
'egree of e=&ellen&e. -n her %ritings there %as a re"olution; a re"ersal of "alues.
Contemplation of <eauty in nature an' in some forms of art li6e musi& %as not
to !e &onsi'ere' a fleeting emotion fee'ing a lazy longing for an in'efina!le
spiritual e=perien&e. -t ha' to !e li"e' %ith an in'omita!le stri"ing to%ar' a
'i"inization of life. Spell!oun'; - &ontemplate' the shimmering splen'or of a full
manifestation of the 7i"ine in the atoms of inert matter. There %as a fragran&e in
this ne"er-!efore-met i'ea %hi&h e=&ite' an' mo"e' me. There %ere moments in
%hi&h my hea' felt hot as if - %ere fe"erish.
- gra'ually !egan to e=amine my %ay of pra&ti&ing Kriya Yoga an'
realize' the &omple=ity of my self-'e&eption. Entering a Kriya@foun'e'
organization ha' resulte' in !eing ensnare' an' !e%il'ere' !y many fairy tales
an' spe&ulati"e i'eas %holly unsupporte' !y fa&ts.
:y approa&h an' attitu'e to%ar's the spiritual path %as improper. - %as
&on"in&e' that fin'ing Kriya %as a stro6e of lu&6; a gift from the 7i"ine; 'ue to
a &ertain merit on my part of %hi&h - %as una%are. :y personal &ommitment
itself ha' !een unimpressi"e. - also realize' that the 'esire to a!i'e !y the "alues
instille' in me !y my &ulture ha' !een gra'ually t%iste'. -t %as as if a large
portion of my !rain %ith're%; %hile another portion; %hi&h 'i' its utmost to
!elie"e %hat %as &on"enient to !elie"e; trie' to usurp its fun&tion. 4eople !egan
to loo6 at me as a man %ho &hose a simple life style mar6e' !y lofty prin&iples;
not seeing ho% my Iu'gment %as impaire' an' pra&ti&ally non-e=istent.
?hile my first efforts in e=ploring my !oo6-learne' Pranayama %ere
a&&ompanie' !y &onstant intelle&tual stri"ing for perfe&tion B- &oul' rely only on
my intuitionF %hile pra&ti&ing; - anti&ipate' its ine"ita!le progression an' %as
+uietly e=&ite' 'uring ea&h moment of itC; after%ar'; ha"ing re&ei"e' Kriya, the
i'ea of pra&ti&ing >the fastest te&hni+ue in the fiel' of spiritual e"olution> ma'e
the intensity of my effort lose its e'ge. :y Kriya Pranayama; pra&ti&e' %ith
enthusiasm for some months; !e&ame a tran+uil goo' ha!it.
)part from other foolish thoughts; - ha' s%allo%e' the &hil'ish i'ea that
ea&h Kriya !reath &oul' pro'u&e >the e+ui"alent of a solar year of spiritual
0
e"olution> an' that through a million of these !reaths - %oul' infalli!ly rea&h
Cosmi& Cons&iousness. - trie' to perform the greatest possi!le num!er of
Pranayama in or'er to +ui&6ly &omplete that million. - 'i'n8t realize that - ha'
slippe' into a min'less ha!it; an' therefore felt no shame nor remorse.
:y iron-%ille' 'is&ipline %as softene' !y the hypnoti& promise of the
>G"r"8s <lessings>. >)ren8t you gla' to ha"e foun' a true G"r"@> For years -
hear' this refrain from my Kriya organization; >)ren8t you enthusiasti& that /e
has !een &hosen for you !y 3o' /imself@> >Oh yes %e are happy> %e replie'
%ith tears of Ioy. This i'ea; more than any other fa&tor; ha' lethal effe&ts on meF
it %as the &ra'le in %hi&h my ego %as fe' an' strengthene'.
To remin' myself that - ha' entere' the Kriya organization only to perfe&t
my alrea'y goo' pra&ti&e of Pranayama paine' me. -t %as imperati"e to re&reate
the spirit of my original sear&h.
:hree (mportant De-isions
?hat - am a!out to 'es&ri!e %as the most re%ar'ing perio' of my life. - loo6
upon it as the 'a%n of the true un'erstan'ing; an' - hope to ne"er forget the
lesson it &ontains.
)fter rea'ing Sri )uro!in'o an' The :other; - foun' the &ourage to again
!e a self-taught person. 7uring the first season of my interest in esoteri& matters
an' oriental pra&ti&e of me'itation; - ha' foun' easy-to-follo% instru&tions in an
unassuming !oo6. The instru&tions %ere simple !ut - put all my passion in them;
espe&ially the %ish to pursue my &on&ept of <eauty through Yoga. 7ay after 'ay;
%hen other 'istra&tions an' 'ou!ts &ame; %hen the initial enthusiasm
'iminishe'; - tena&iously &arrie' on %ith my i'eals an' my 'is&ipline. The result
%as the K"ndalini e=perien&e. No%; a!out 12 years later; - foun' myself !a&6 at
the !eginning. - %as rea'y to &arry on persistently; 'espite &riti&isms an' 'ou!ts;
three !asi& resolutions5
1. The Kriya routine - pra&ti&e' ha' to !e re&onsi'ere' an' restru&ture';
applying Patan'ali8s prin&iples.
2. )t the en' of ea&h Kriya session; - ha' to &all to min' my o%n &on&eption of
the ultimate goal of the spiritual path; e=perien&ing intense aspiration for the
7i"ine.
. - ha' the moral 'uty to pra&ti&e Kriya "ia the state of ental #ilen-e a&hie"e'
!y using 1apa 'uring my 'aily life.
?hat resulte' from this 'e&ision an' still remains in my heart as a pea6
e=perien&e %as5 the <reathless state. These resolutions are elu&i'ate' !elo%.
%+ K$i)# R*tine #1idin2 1) P#t#n,#.i3& p$in!ip.e&
4atanIali %as a pioneer in the art of rationally han'ling the mysti&al path; aiming
at in'i"i'ualizing a uni"ersal; physiologi&al 'ire&tion of inner e"ents that
e=plaine' %hy a &ertain phenomenon; inherent to the spiritual path; shoul' !e
$2
pre&e'e' an' ne&essarily follo%e' !y other ones. /is e=treme synthesis may !e
&riti&ize' or; !e&ause of its temporal 'istan&e; may !e har' to un'erstan'F
ho%e"er; his %or6 is of e=traor'inary importan&e. :any authors of Kriya Yoga
say that the theory e=presse' !y 4atanIali is the same as Kriya YogaB that
4atanIali an' Gahiri :ahasaya su!stantially 'ealt %ith the same pra&ti&e. -
!elie"e that this is partly true. 4atanIali is far from &larifying all the aspe&ts of
Kriya an' there is a remar6a!le 'ifferen&e !et%een the final steps of his Yoga
Bespe&ially Dharana an' DhyanaC an' the relate' phases of Kriya Yoga.
There are 'ifferent %ays of translating the Sans6rit terms summarizing
4atanIali8s eight steps of Yoga5 Yama, !iyama, Asana, Pranayama, Pratyahara,
Dharana, Dhyana, #amadhi.
Yama5 self-&ontrol Bnon-"iolen&e; a"oi' lies; a"oi' stealing; a"oi' !eing
lustful an' see6 non-atta&hmentCF !iyama5 religious o!ser"an&es B&leanliness;
&ontentment; 'is&ipline; stu'y of the Self an' surren'er to the Supreme 3o'C. )s
for Asana Bposition of the !o'yC; 4atanIali e=plains it must !e sta!le an'
&omforta!le. There is no hint of preliminary e=er&ises of &on&entration; mu&h
less of me'itation. The first interesting &on&ept of 4atanIali is Pranayama,
'efine' as regulation of the Prana !y repetition of parti&ular !reathing patterns.
Through Pranayama a state of &almness an' poise is to !e &reate' %hi&h
!e&omes the foun'ation for the su!se+uent step; Pratyahara, in %hi&h the
a%areness is 'is&onne&te' from e=ternal reality. )ll our fi"e senses ha"e thus
!een turne' in%ar'. You are le' to un'erstan' that the te&hni+ues %hi&h re+uire
mo"ement shoul' !e &omplete' !efore this phaseF the !reath an' the heart shoul'
ha"e the time ne&essary to slo% 'o%n.
)fter Pratyahara &omes Dharana. 4atanIali e=plains that after the !reath8s
'isappearan&e; a yogi shoul' loo6 for a physi&al or a!stra&t o!Ie&t onto %hi&h he
might turn his &on&entration an' pra&ti&e a sort of &ontemplati"e me'itation in
su&h a %ay as to lose himself in it. Dharana is &on&entration Bfo&using the
min'.C Further; Dhyana is the persisten&e of that fo&using as a stea'y
uninterrupte' flo% of a%areness %hi&h fully e=plores all aspe&ts of the &hosen
o!Ie&t. #amadhi is the further step of perfe&t spiritual a!sorption B'eep
&ontemplation in %hi&h the o!Ie&t of me'itation !e&omes insepara!le from the
me'itator himself.C
)s for my Kriya pra&ti&e; my !asi& un'erstan'ing in those 'ays %as that
the so-&alle' Higher Kriyas Bea&h re+uiring mo"ementC ha' to !e pra&ti&e'
'uring the Pranayama phase. ) long phase of internalization of &ons&iousness
an' energy in perfe&t immo!ility shoul' follo%. -n my opinion; Dharana, the a&t
of fo&using attention; implie' &on&entration on the Cha3ras. You !egin to
&on&entrate on ea&h Cha3ra an' forget yourselfF in this %ay Dharana
spontaneously !e&omes Dhyana, the !or'ers !et%een the t%o !eing
in'istinguisha!le in pra&ti&e. #amadhi is the su''en !urning %ith a limitless Ioy
that; sooner or later; you e=perien&e.
From that moment on%ar's; - !egan to en' my routine %ith a pro&e'ure
that - &all >mental Pranayama%> - pause my a%areness on ea&h Cha3ra a!out 12
se&on's E as a !ee 'ra%n to the ne&tar in flo%ers ho"ers o"er ea&h in great
'elight E slightly >tou&hing> their nu&leus along an &ounter&lo&6%ise Bas "ie%e'
$1
from a!o"eC path. The &on&entration on the thir' eye E that >in%ar' eye> %hi&h
?or's%orth appropriately 'efines as >the !liss of solitu'e> E happens
spontaneously.
4+ Endin2 e#!" $*tine 1) &*$$ende$in2 t ne3& I&"t# De5#t#
?e 6no% that (shta De$ata 'enotes one8s fa"orite form of &on&ei"ing or
"isualizing the 7i"ine. 4re'ominantly; that form 'epen's upon the religious
tra'ition in %hi&h a 'e"otee is !orn. There is no 'ou!t that; on a spiritual path; it
is "ital to !uil' an internal relationship %ith one8s (shta De$ata.
So; - &ame to the &on&lusion that <eauty in Nature is my (shta De$ata% -n
my youth; my pro&li"ity to%ar's nature !e&ame soon pollute' !y the 'esire to
ta6e refuge into its pea&e. - %ante' to 'eta&h from the e"ents of the 'ay an' fin'
&omfort in an enthusiasti& outpouring of poeti& emotions. Gater; - a&6no%le'ge'
that - al%ays utilize' the re&olle&tion of <eauty in Nature to &reate in me a
glimpse of the 7i"ine; the 9eality !eyon' the earthly one. ?hen; for e=ample; -
trie' to re&all my first &onta&t %ith the .m soun'; it al%ays appeare' as the
tolling of a !ell !e&ause it %as the only aspe&t of it that - &oul' lo&ate in an
imaginary &ountrysi'e. ?oo's; 'eep green; perhaps a summer8s sunset sustaine'
my re"erie. No%; ea&h session of my Kriya routine ha' to en' %ith a
"isualization of a %on'erful lan's&ape; resus&itating my (shta De$ata; in"iting
me to let go of any resistan&e an' !e seize' again !y the real e=perien&e of the
7i"ine.
6+ P$#!ti!e K$i)# in t"e &t#te ' Ment#. Si.en!e #!"ie5ed t"$*2" 0#p#
-n those 'ays - rea' the auto!iography of S%ami 9am'as; the saint that mo"e'
far an' %i'e all o"er -n'ia un&easingly repeating the antra5 88#ri ,am 1ai ,am
1ai 1ai ,am .m.88 7is&o"ering the simpli&ity of his life an' the greatness of his
e=perien&e %as "ery inspiringF his photo an' the &hil'li6e simpli&ity of his smile
6in'le' my 'e"otion an' inspire' me to 88a'opt88 his antra.
/e %as !orn in 1..$ in /os'rug; Kerala; -n'ia; an' name' 1ittal 9ao. /e
li"e' a normal life an' e=perien&e' the usual ups an' 'o%ns of a househol'er8s
life. Often he in+uire' a!out the true meaning of life an' felt the 'esire to pursue
the spiritual path in or'er to feel genuine >4ea&e.> )t the right moment his father
initiate' him into the ,am antra, assuring him that !y repeating it un&easingly
he %oul'; in 'ue time; a&hie"e the 'i"ine happiness he 'esire'. -t %as then that
9am'as renoun&e' the se&ular life an' %ent forth in +uest of 3o' as a men'i&ant
#adh". The antra >.m #ri ,am 1ai ,am 1ai 1ai ,am> %as e"er on his lips.
<esi'es the pra&ti&e of 1apa; he a'opte' the 'is&ipline of loo6ing upon all other
people as forms of ,am B3o'C, an' of a&&epting e"ery happening as &oming
from the %ill of 3o'. -n a short time the antra 'isappeare' from his lips an'
entere' his heart. /e !ehel' a small &ir&ular light in the spot !et%een his
eye!ro%s; %hi&h yiel'e' him thrills of 'elight. Then the 'azzling light permeate'
an' a!sor!e' him. Gost in this ine=pressi!le !liss he %oul' sit for hours. The
%orl' appeare' to him as a 'im sha'o%. ) stage %as soon rea&he' %hen this
'%elling in the spirit !e&ame a permanent an' un"arying e=perien&e.
$2
/is tea&hing %as e=tremely simple5
289epeat the one name H9amD at all times of the 'ay an' at nights %hen you are
a%a6e. You may !e sure that you %ill not feel lonely or misera!le as long as you
are uttering that glorious name. ?here this name is soun'e'; or me'itate' upon;
there resi'es no sorro%; no an=iety E nay; not e"en 'eath.88
88Atter 9ama8s name B.m #ri ,am 1ai ,am 1ai 1ai ,amC any time; ami' all of
life8s 'istra&tions; %hene"er there is a momentary return of your &ons&iousness
to Self-a%areness. ?hen this happens you feel the ensuing Ioy an' you
&on&entrate on it as long as possi!le B%hile repeating your 4rayer.C -n this %ay
you perfe&t your surren'er to 3o'. This is to !e pra&ti&e' %hen fa&ing e"ery
e"ent; e"ery 'ay; an' in e"ery &ir&umstan&e. )t Night; %hen free from %orl'ly
'uties; you 'e"ote yourself to intense pra&ti&e of 1apa.
S%ami 9am'as stu&6 to that pra&ti&e an' %as a&tually rolling in a sea of
in'es&ri!a!le happiness. /e attaine' ahasamadhi in 10*.
/elpe' !y a mala Brosary !ea'sC; - starte' to pra&ti&e re&iting 1apa alou' 12.
times Bthe num!er of !ea's in a malaC 'uring a %al6; an' mentally 'uring the
remaining of the %al6. E"en though the oriental tra'itions re&ommen' 'oing
1apa mentally; - 6ne% for &ertain that it shoul' !e 'one alou' E at least for a!out
a hun're' times.
The soun' of that antra; %hi&h - ha' alrea'y hear' in 'ifferent
re&or'ings; %as "ery pleasant. - lo"e' to prolong its "i!ration; ma6e it "i!rate in
my &hest an' in"est it %ith my heart8s aspiration. :y attitu'e %as not that of a
suppli&ating an' so!!ing 'e"otee; !ut that of a man %ho reIoi&es; !eing one step
a%ay from his goal. Sin&e - o!ser"e' %hile 'oing it an irresisti!le impulse to put
e"erything in or'er; - thought that the antra &oul' %or6 in a similar %ay !y
&leaning out my mental stuff an' putting my >psy&hologi&al furniture> in or'er.
Therefore; e"en though sometimes - felt a !it 'aze'; - ne"er 'is&ar'e' this
pra&ti&e.
- %ill no% 'es&ri!e ho% after an intense pra&ti&e of 1apa; - e=perien&e' the
!reathless state. )t the en' of my Kriya session; %hile rela=ing %ith mental
Pranayama Bpla&ing my a%areness in ea&h Cha3ra for 12-22 se&on's ea&hC; -
'istin&tly per&ei"e' a fresh energy sustaining my !o'y from insi'e. - realize'
that my &ells %ere !reathing pure energy %hi&h 'i'n8t originate from the inhale'
air. The more - rela=e'; the more - simultaneously !e&ame a%are !oth of the
Cha3ras an' of the !o'y as a %hole. The !reath; %hi&h in the meantime ha'
!e&ome "ery short; e"entually rea&he' immo!ility; li6e a pen'ulum gently
rea&hing the e+uili!rium point. :y min' settle' 'o%n. This &on'ition laste' a
fe% minutes %ithout any feeling of uneasinessF there %as neither the least +ui"er
of surprise nor the thought; >Finally - ha"e itJ> The e"ent %as enIoya!le !eyon'
%or's5 in a !lue-painte' profun'ity; - %as mer&ilessly &rushe' !y the !eauty of
nature an'; at the same time; situate' a!o"e the %hole %orl'. )ll %as in&re'i!ly
!eautiful; !eyon' imaginationJ - %as not !reathing an' - 'i' not feel the nee' to.
$
-n the follo%ing 'ays the same e"ent happene' again 'uring mental
Pranayama% <efore starting my Kriya pra&ti&e; - loo6e' at the surroun'ing
panorama an' %on'ere' if - %oul' again e=perien&e that 'i"ine state. - 'i'J -
%as astonishe'F it seeme' impossi!le that 1apa, one of the simplest te&hni+ues in
the %orl'; &oul' pro'u&e in&allibly su&h a "alua!le resultJ Compare' to the
!reathless state; my past e=perien&es 'uring Kriya pra&ti&e seeme' "anishing;
elusi"e; li6e luminous refle&tions on %ater. -t %as 88soli'ity88 itself. ?here my
!est intentions ha' faile'; 1apa ha' pro'u&e' the mira&leJ There %as a perfe&t
asso&iation !et%een the pra&ti&e of 1apa an' the attainment of the !reathless
state. E"ery 'ay - e=perien&e' it for myself.
This relia!le result &reate' a moral strength in me that turne' into a &alm
euphoria permeating my entire 'ay. ?hile tal6ing to others - remaine'
effortlessly &entere' on the feeling of un&hangea!le &almness; %ithout !eing
in"ol"e' in the images arising from the %or's. This ne% %ay of li"ing %as li6e
%al6ing out of a 'ar6 stuffy room into sunlight an' fresh air. The magi& of this
!right; 'azzling 4rayer %hi&h sprea' into ea&h fa&et of my life &onfirme' in me
the !elief that 1apa %as the only tool &apa!le of e=tra&ting >something perfe&t
an' su!lime> from my life.
- plunge' %ith enthusiasm into antra an' 4rayer literature in 'ifferent
mysti&al paths. The intrinsi& "alue of this pra&ti&e lies in the fa&t that it
annihilates the mental !a&6groun' noise. ?e &an put it in this %ay5 at the en' of
our Kriya pra&ti&e; %e &an enIoy a state of &almness %here almost all the
a&ti"ities of the min' ha"e su!si'e'. Anfortunately a 'iffuse persistent
!a&6groun' noise ma6es it impossi!le to enter the authenti& ental #ilen-e.
No%; if %e pra&ti&e a &ertain amount of 1apa 'uring the 'ay Bnot imme'iately
!efore starting our me'itation routineC that noise gi"es pla&e to immo!ility an'
transparen&y5 the e=perien&e is fantasti&; une=pe&te'.
:any !oo6s intro'u&ing the pra&ti&e of 1apa B4rayerC 'o not e=plain this
pre&ious &on&ept !ut insist only upon a heap of !analities. ?hen - rea' in
oriental !oo6s that the mala BrosaryC for 1apa shoul' !e ma'e of this or of that
material; or that it shoul' not !e seen !y others; or that the #"mer" !ea' Kan e=tra
!ea' as the e=tension to the ro%; %hi&h is the point at %hi&h one roun' of
&ounting aroun' the mala !egins an' en'sL shoul' ne"er !e passe' Kif you 'o the
mala t%i&e; you shoul' turn it an' ma6e the last !ea' !e&ome the first !ea' of
the se&on' roun'L ... - 6ne% that these are first-&lass i'io&ies. S%ami 9am'as8
simple auto!iography is %orth a thousan' times more than those useless essays
'epri"e' of any intelligen&e or passion.
Gi6e%ise %hen - rea' %estern !oo6s that insist on the fa&t that the po%er
of the 1apa B4rayerC lies not in your effort !ut in the 887i"ine 3ra&e88 that &omes
only %hen you use a parti&ular formula &anonize' !y a tra'itional pattern of
%orship; - 6ne% that this is another falsehoo'.
The !oo6s rarely hint at the main o!sta&le5 often a 'elusion arises in us in
the form of a s&ruple5 88 <y repeating my antra me&hani&ally all 'ay long li6e a
parrot; arenDt - 'oing the most min'-num!ing a&ti"ity in the %or'@ 7onDt the
fa&ulties of my min' get lazy; !e&oming 'ull tools@88 On the &ontraryJ You
'is&o"er that through 1apa the min' rests an' !e&omes more a&ute.
$$
- trie' to pass on this e=perien&e to other persons. - am remin'e' of a frien' %ho
pra&ti&e' Kriya %ithout getting any result. - tal6e' to him an' suggeste' 1apa
!ut - %as not a!le to e=plain myself &learly. One 'ay he sho%e' me ho% he ha'
interprete' my e=pli&ations an' - %as %itness to a lifeless pra&ti&e; a tire' plea
for 3o'8s mer&y. - ha' the impression that he too6 1apa as &ere!ral a&t. /is
thoughts %ere on the repetitionF its "i!ration %as not &onne&te' in any %ay to his
!o'y. /is &hosen antra %as nothing more than a sigh of self-pity. -t %as not
surprising %hen; after some time; he entirely a!an'one' the pra&ti&e. )ll
&hange' later %hen he too6 part in a group pilgrimage. Someone !egan to re&ite
the so-&alle' rosary Ba set num!er of repetitions of the same prayerC; an' all the
pilgrims Ioine' in. E"en if tire' an' almost gasping for !reath; my frien' 'i' not
%ith'ra% himself from this pious a&ti"ity. ?hile %al6ing an' praying softly;
murmuring un'er his !reath; he !egan to taste a state of un6no%n &almness. /e
loo6e' %ith 'ifferent eyes at the sho% of &ontinuously &hanging lan's&ape an'
ha' the impression of li"ing in a para'isia& situation. /e %ent on repeating the
4rayer unremittingly for the entire %al6 B%hi&h surpasse' the 22 milesC;
&ompletely forgetting he %as tire' an' sleepy. ?hen the group pause' to rest; he
lu&6ily %as left alone un'istur!e'. /e slippe' into an introspe&ti"e state an' %as
per"a'e' !y something "i!rating in his o%n heart %hi&h he 'efinitely i'entifie'
%ith Spiritual 9eality. /is e&stati& state !e&ame soli' as a ro&6; !e&oming almost
un!eara!le; o"er%helming him.
:y frien' summarize' the &orre&t %ay of pra&ti&ing 1apa. /e sai' that the
se&ret %as to not only rea&h !ut also go !eyon' the state of >e=haustion.> )fter
some 'ays he &hose to repeat the same antra - ha' &hosen an'; than6s to it; he
rea&he' the !reathless state.
12
/o%e"er; as far as - %as &on&erne'; after many %on'erful e=perien&es an' &lear
states of introspe&tion; that year +uietly &ame to an en'. The follo%ing year %as
not e+ually shining !e&ause something happene' that &reate' total &haos in my
min' an' emotions. 7uring a trip to 1ienna B)ustriaC; - foun' a !oo6 %ritten !y
an -n'ian #6ami; &laiming he %as tea&hing the original Gahiri :ahasaya8s Kriya
an' 4.Y.8s %as mentione' as a slightly mo'ifie' "ersion of it. )gain 'e"oure' !y
the o!session of fin'ing the original Kriya; tormente' !y my suspi&ion that 4.Y.
ha' taught a simplifie' form of Kriya in or'er to meet the &onstraints of his
%esterner 'is&iples, - stu'ie' his !oo6 hoping to unearth the original Kriya
Pranayama.
-n the meantime my 'aily appli&ation of 1apa 'e&rease'. Often -
formulate' the thought; >- must ne"er lose the enIoyment of the !reathless state;
e"en for a single minute. -t is the most real thing - ha"e e"er e=perien&e'J> <ut
my frenzie' sear&h for the original Kriya ma'e me go &razy. - ha' opene' a 'oor
12
Normally it is not ne&essary to go !eyon' the frontier of e=haustion. Asually one has "ery goo'
effe&ts !y &ompleting 'aily one ala Ba rosary of 12. !ea'sC alou' then letting the repetition of one8s
antra go ahea' mentally an' automati&ally. /o%e"er the 88la% of e=haustion88 is a "alua!le resour&e
for !rea6ing some possi!le internal resistan&e an' e=perien&e thus the !reathless state for the first
time.
$(
that &oul'n8t !e &lose' easily. The most intense feelings of Ioy an' satisfa&tion
&ame from rea'ing an' rerea'ing that !oo6; un'erlining hea"ily some senten&es.
- %as e=&ite' to rea' that Pranayama shoul' !e &onsi'ere' ina&&urate an' %rong
if; settling 'o%n after fair num!er of !reaths; the pra&titioner ha' not hear' the
internal soun' of .m %ithout &losing his ears. That senten&e %oul'n8t let me
sleep. -t left dangero"s 'ou!ts that an unimagina!ly 'eep an' ri&h te&hni+ue of
spiritual realization ha' !een ta6en a%ay from me an' all %esterners only
!e&ause 4.Y. ha' foun' it 'iffi&ult to tea&h to his first )meri&an 'is&iples. ?as
this true; %as it false@ The issue is &ontro"ersial; !ut as far as my life %as
&on&erne' the %orl' of the >tra"eling G"r"s> %ith all their hysteri&al &laims an'
innumera!le &ontra'i&tions too6 the pla&e of %hat - ha' patiently !uilt. Se"eral
years elapse' !efore the hea"enly &on'ition !rought to my life !y the !reathless
state %oul' return to me again.
$*
C/)4TE9 $
FOLLO7ING SOME TEACHERS OUTSIDE THE ORGANI-ATION
The !oo6 %ritten !y the -n'ian Kriya tea&her #6ami /.; li6e innumera!le others
- later rea'; %as only !ait to &reate interest in the Kriya s&hool foun'e' !y the
author an' ne"er in&lu'e' pra&ti&al e=planations. The statements it &ontaine'
%ere %orthy of &onsi'erationF they %ere surely from a "ery 'eep pra&ti&e of
Pranayama. - ha' no i'ea %hen an' %here - %oul' ha"e the opportunity to meet
this tea&her; !ut - foretaste' the possi!ility of 'eepening my Kriya Pranayama
an'; perhaps; &larifying my other 'ou!ts &on&erning Ke-hari "dra an' the
Higher Kriyas%
9e&alling a phrase %hi&h ha' es&ape' the lips of the la'y me'itation
&ounselor a!out a "ariation of Kriya Pranayama taught to some 'is&iples !y 4.Y.;
- &on"in&e' myself that the 6ey te&hni&al a''ition %as to mentally &hant .m in
the Cha3ras %hile 'ire&ting all attention possi!le to the internal astral soun's.
)ny effort to%ar' listening to the internal soun's is "ery %ell re%ar'e'.
The !eauty of that perio' %hen - ha' pra&ti&e' the >.m te&hni+ue> Bre&ei"e'
from my s&hoolC ha' not !een surpasse' !y any other e"ent. -tDs har' to &on"ey
ho% in&re'i!ly &omforting an' li!erating that e=perien&e %as.
No%; !y applying the a!o"e 'es&ri!e' &onIe&ture; - &oul' listen again to
the astral soun's an' retrie"e that <eauty. So - 6ept on listening an' listening
in%ar'ly not only to the soun' of the !reath !ut to any other internal soun'
fee!ly manifesting 'uring Kriya Pranayama. - &an8t remem!er ho% many Kriya
!reaths - pra&ti&e' ea&h 'ay; surely ne"er more than $.-*2. )fter a fe% 'ays the
an&ient %ell 6no%n s%eetness again entere' my life an' - gratefully %el&ome' it
%ith open heart.
The strange part %as - ha'nDt e"en met the tea&her yet; - ha' only rea' his
!oo6. -t %as the intensity of my pra&ti&e that %as e=tremeJ - ha' a &lear
per&eption that a state of in&on&ei"a!le s%eetness %as mine; that - &oul' taste it
e"ery 'ay; 'uring the pra&ti&e an' in e"ery moment %hen - reste'; free from
%or6. To preser"e that .m3ar per&eption %ith the utmost &are !e&ame the sole
fo&us of my &on&entration.
7irst :ea-her o"tside the .rgani4ation
<efore un'ergoing surgery in the Anite' States; the author of the !oo6 %as
stopping o"er in Europe. - %or6e' "ery har' to meet him an' re&ei"e his Kriya
initiation on that o&&asion. That moment &ame at lastJ For me; his intro'u&tory
&onferen&e %as of great emotional impa&t. /e ha' a maIesti& an' no!le !earing.
/e %as >han'somely> %rappe' in his o&her &lothesF his ol' age; an' long hair
an' !ear' mar6e' the features of the typi&al sage. - &aught glimpses of him %hile
he spo6e; hi''en !y the front ro%sF - felt he %as tal6ing a!out Gahiri :ahasaya8s
lega&y from 'ire&t e=perien&e.
The theoreti&al &on&epts he intro'u&e' %ere a!solutely ne% to me an'
$,
&reate' a !eautiful &onsistent frame%or6 for a Kriya pra=is !ase' on a uni+ue
progressi"e pro&ess of tuning into the .m3ar reality. Gi6e a threa' passing
through all the pearls of a ne&6la&e; .m3ar %as &oursing through all the 'ifferent
phases of Kriya. Furthermore; the .m3ar reality ha' to !e per&ei"e' not only in
the aspe&ts of soun' an' light !ut also as a >s%inging sensation> Banother time he
spo6e a!out a feeling of pressureC. For me; his stupen'ous; appealing %or's %ere
a re"elation; !ut at &ertain moments my fo&us on te&hni&al 'etail ma'e me
una!le to gi"e 'ue attention to %hat he %as saying. :y o!session %as5 >?hat
6in' of throat soun' is to !e pro'u&e' in this original KriyaF to %hi&h &enter 'oes
the energy rise in the spine@>
To ma6e &lear the proper s%inging aspe&t of .m3ar; he tou&he' some of
the stu'ents Btheir hea' an' &hestC ma6ing his han' "i!rate; trying to transmit
this +ui"ering to their !o'y. /e %as lea'ing the au'itorium into a %on'rous
'imension; gi"ing himself &ompletely to us so that %e &oul' feel the &ore essen&e
of the .m3ar e=perien&e.
The initiation into the 7irst Kriya thrille' an' 'isappointe' me at the same
time. The for%ar' !en'ings that pre&e'e' the aha "dra %ere really pre&ious
an' so %as the final me'itation Bimproperly &alle' Para$asthaC !ut the Kriya
Pranayama seeme' to ha"e 'isappeare' an' !een re'u&e' to a pro&ess of raising
the Cha3ras in A'na or #ahasrara through a %ay of !reathing %hi&h %as less
long an' less intense than the one use' until no% 'uring Kriya Pranayama.
/a"ing %hat he %rote years ago in his !oo6 fresh in my min'; it %as a plain fa&t
to me that this tea&her too; o"er the &ourse of the years; ha' simplifie' the
original te&hni+ue.
)mong the people %ho &onsistently atten'e' his seminars; there %as no
mystery a!out the many te&hni&al 'etails of Kriya Yoga that he 6ept on &hanging;
year after year. One of his intimate 'is&iples &onfirme' to me that in the past the
#6ami ha' taught Kriya Pranayama proper enri&he' !y &hanting .m in ea&h
Cha3ra. For this reason - 'e&i'e' to ne"er e=&lu'e my goo' ol' Kriya
Pranayama %ith long !reath from my pra&ti&e. To it - %oul' no% a'' %hat he
%as tea&hing.
-t %as %inter an' - ha' a three %ee6 "a&ation. - spent e"ery morning %rappe' in
the %armth of my home; pra&ti&ing as mu&h as possi!le; applying the
fun'amental &on&epts he emphasize' so mu&h. - ma'e a parti&ular effort to
remain a%are of the !reath Ba &alm short !reath; almost imper&epti!le an' on the
"erge of 'isappearingC for a!out three hours; lin6ing ea&h !reath %ith a 'ifferent
Cha3ra. /e ha' e=plaine' that to ma6e a remar6a!le spiritual progress; you
shoul' engage yoursel"es in !e&oming a%are of at least 1,2. !reaths a 'ay.
- e=perien&e' a total &ontentment an' ease; as if my Kriya path ha' &ome
to its fulfillment. <y 'ay; e"erything seeme' surroun'e' !y a 88pa''e' &oating88;
re'u&ing all 'issonan&es. E"erything %as as if transfigure'F it %as li6e li"ing in a
perfe&t reality an' all %orries too6 flight; gone from my sight.
- also spent some 'ays in a !eautiful lo&ation e+uippe' for %inter sport;
%here - &oul' %an'er aimlessly aroun' the sno%-%hite &ountrysi'e. ?hile - %as
lazily roaming a!out; the sun set early; painting the lan's&ape %ith !reathta6ing
$.
&olorsF the small "illage; sun6 in the sno%; starte' to ra'iate in a fe% se&on's of
glory all the &olors of the spe&trum of light. :y memory %ill al%ays hol' it as
the splen'i' sym!ol of this %on'erful perio' in my life.
The %inter "a&ation en'e' an' - returne' to my Io!. 7uring my spare time
- %oul' thin6 a!out %hat a pre&ious Ie%el the Kriya te&hni+ue %as; "isualizing
the possi!ility of a future 'eepening after a similar &ommitment to the Higher
Kriyas also.
One 'ay %hile still at %or6; - %as in a room from %hi&h - &oul' see the
'istant mountains through a %in'o% pane; an' &ontemplate the pure &elestial s6y
a!o"e them. - %as in e&stasyJ That 'istant s6y %as the mirror of my future years;
%holly 'e'i&ate' to Kriya Yoga. For the first time the prospe&t of retiring an'
li"ing on a minimal in&ome; maintaining this state for the rest of my 'ays; starte'
to ta6e real shape.
#6ami /. also taught a simplifie' form of #e-ond Kriya; %hi&h - learne' months
later. )s for re&ei"ing other a'"an&e' te&hni+ues; he e=presse' himself
a'amantly5 the re+uest of !eing initiate' in them implie' a la&6 of engagement in
the !asi& te&hni+ues. <eing a%are that the original Kriya spirit ha' !een lost in
other s&hools; he fo&use' only on passing on its nu&leus. /e ha' trie' all Gahiri
:ahasaya8s te&hni+ues; &on&lu'ing that some of them %ere not essential %hile
others %ere rather too 'eli&ate an' 'iffi&ult to !e learne'. )ttempts ma'e !y
ine=perien&e' stu'ents to effe&ti"ely use these te&hni+ues often resulte' in a
useless 'istra&tion for the stu'ents an' a %aste of time for him as a tea&her.
?hat he sai' ma'e 'efinite sense; !ut &ontri!ute' to his isolation. /e 'i' not
ta6e into &onsi'eration the insatia!le &uriosity of the maIority of 3riyabans %ho
a&&epte' no interferen&e in their +uest. /is unfortunate 'e&ision to lea"e out
some of Gahiri :ahasayaDs te&hni+ues Bnot only parts of the Higher Kriyas; !ut
also !asi& te&hni+ues su&h as Ke-hari "dra an' !a$i KriyaC triggere' an
automati& refle= %hi&h pushe' a%ay the people most in'ispensa!le to him.
Consume' !y a thirst for the &omplete tea&hings; they !egan to sear&h for other
tea&hers. 7isappointe' !y their 'efe&tion; he stu!!ornly fo&use' e"en more
pointe'ly on the essen&e of the tea&hing an' the further simplifi&ation of the
7irst Kriya te&hni+ues. Those %ho trie' to get this a!sur'ity a&ross to him an'
there!y pre"ent it foun' themsel"es fa&ing a stone %all.
/e ha' all the tools ne&essary to attra&t the %estern %orl'. The !oo6 he
ha' %ritten ha' !een a smart strategi& mo"e %hi&h ma'e him popular in the
?est; sa"ing for himself a pla&e of &ru&ial importan&e in the 'omain of Kriya.
:oreo"er; his -n'ian-sage figure impresse' people. /un're's of s&holars %ere
rea'y to !a&6 his mission an' treat him as a >'i"inity>; an' %ere %illing to sho%
the same respe&t to possi!le &olla!orators an' su&&essors.
Yet the soil he plo%e' an' %as &ulti"ating starte' to !e&ome sterile. - sa%
the s&ope of his isolation %hen one 'ay 'uring a Kriya re"ie% lesson; he tol' his
pu!li& that real Kriya Pranayama &oul' only ta6e pla&e in a state of &alm !reath
an' that the one mar6e' !y a long 'eep !reath B%hi&h many 6ne% %as
&hara&teristi& of Gahiri :ahasaya8s lega&yC %as goo'; in his opinion; only for
$0
886in'ergarten &hil'ren>J /e &lose' his nostrils %ith his fingers an' 6ept that
position for some time. -n this %ay that he implie' that he ha' mastere' the
!reathless state an' that the pu!li& %as neither a!le to un'erstan'; nor pra&ti&e;
Kriya.
- thought a!out ho% many 'isappointments he must ha"e ha' to &on"in&e
him to ma6e su&h a pe&uliar 'emonstration. 4erhaps he ha' only met people %ho
%ere not a!le to a'opt the 'is&ipline of a regular me'itation pra&ti&e an'
therefore 'i' not gain any !enefit. Anfortunately; many per&ei"e' his !eha"ior as
a nasty &omment that the au'ien&e %as una!le to un'erstan' the 'eep meaning of
%hat he %as 'es&ri!ing. The stu'ents staring at him %ere at a &omplete lossF he
must ha"e seeme' !izarre an' pe&uliar to them. The result %as that the !eginners
sense' only that there %as too large a 'istan&e to !e !ri'ge' !et%een them an'
the :aster. Those %ho alrea'y ha' a goo' mastering of Kriya ha' the final
&onfirmation that %hat he ha' taught up to that moment %as a simple
intro'u&tion to Kriya an' 'i' not pro"i'e the 6ey to o!taining the e=periential
pinna&le.
-t is true that a lot of people %ere &ontent %ith his Kriya, !ut they %oul'
ne"er organize a seminar for their tea&her. Fran6ly spea6ing; the faithfulness of
the many %as not enough to a"oi' the %orst. /is &ommen'a!le effort; all the
mar"elous su!tleties !y %hi&h he ha' enri&he' our Kriya an' ma'e this pra&ti&e
far more !eautiful; %as not enough to pre"ent a ship%re&6 of his mission E at
least here in Europe.
11
Asing the same fliers an' &hanging only the :aster8s name an' photo;
many of the people %ho formerly organize' his seminars in"ite' another tea&her
from -n'ia !e&ause they 6ne% he %as %ell-'ispose' to e=plain Kriya in its
&omplete form. This in"itation %as perhaps ma'e more out of 'esperation than of
&on"i&tion !e&ause those %ho ha' alrea'y met him in -n'ia 6ne% his o%n
spiritual realization %as almost non-e=istent. <e&ause of "isa pro!lems; it too6
t%o years !efore he finally lan'e' in Europe; an' %hen he arri"e' pra&ti&ally all
the !efore-'es&ri!e' tea&her8s 'is&iples %ere rea'y to %el&ome this ne% guru as
their 3o'-sent messenger.
This ne% tea&her 'i' in fa&t gi"e us the "ery &ra"e' for Ke-hari "dra;
the !a$i Kriya an' others. <ut let me first 'es&ri!e the most 'isappointing
meeting of my life.
#e-ond :ea-her o"tside the .rgani4ation
?hile %aiting for the ne% tea&her from -n'ia to o!tain a "isa granting
permission to enter Europe; - &ame in &onta&t %ith a Kriya s&hool totally separate
from the others. The Kriya Yoga they taught %as !ase' upon the tea&hings of an
-n'ian personage %ho &laime' he %as a 'ire&t 'is&iple of Baba'i. -n this s&hool
the main te&hni+ue of Kriya Pranayama %as &ouple' %ith many other tea&hings
groupe' un'er four main hea'ings5 Hatha Yoga, Dhyana Yoga, antra Yoga an'
Bha3ti Yoga% The i'ea of ha"ing foun' a sour&e from %hi&h - &oul' learn
11
Something remains in'ee'; !ut "ery s&anty &ompare' to %hat he &oul' ha"e realize' if only he ha'
!een more &on&iliatory.
(2
e"erything a!out Kriya e=&ite' me tremen'ously. )t that time - &oul' not realize
that this s&hool ha' nothing to 'o %ith Gahiri :ahasaya8s tea&hing.
The intro'u&tory !oo6 to this s&hool %as "ery strange5 its illustrations
ga"e the impression of a fairytale. -n this !oo6 there %as no mention of
te&hni+ues li6e :alabya Kriya, Ke-hari "dra, !a$i Kriya, .m3ar Pranayama,
:ho3ar%%%%
The s&hool offere' three le"els of Kriya, easy to o!tain in a!out three
years if you sho%e' enough &ommitment. The first le"el 'i'n8t 'isappoint me;
!ut 'i' lea"e me a !it perple=e'. The tea&her %as o!sesse' %ith the pre&ept of
not hol'ing one8s !reath; therefore the te&hni+ue of Yoni "dra; %hi&h is
fun'amental for Gahiri :ahasaya; %as &onsi'ere' 'angerous an' thus !anne'.
Their Kriya Pranayama %as in'ee' !eautiful. The most annoying thing %as that
on&e you ha' &omplete' the pres&ri!e' num!er !reaths; the pro&ess you ha' put
into motion ha' to su''enly !e relin+uishe' an' s%it&he' to Dhyana Kriya; a
me'itation %hi&h ha' nothing to 'o %ith spine; Cha3ras et&.
<efore re&ei"ing instru&tion from this s&hool; - ha' mi=e' %hat - ha'
learne' from 4.Y.8s organization %ith #6ami /.8s tea&hing an' ha' &reate' a "ery
pleasant routine %hose final part B&on&entration on the Cha3rasC %as pure
'elight. Seriously pra&ti&ing this ne% routine; there gre% %ithin me a mar6e'
longing for %hat - ha' relin+uishe'. - ha' the hea"y sensation of gaining nothing
su!stantial.
The &entral &ore of the #e-ond *e$el %as initiation into -n'ian antras%
This su!Ie&t %as more appealing to me. The 'ay of initiation into a antra %as
pro&ee'e' !y a 'ay of silen&eF entran&e' %e listene' a splen'i' lesson upon the
utility of the pra&ti&e of 1apa. There %ere other tea&hings that left me perple=e'.
Sin&e - ha' pla&e' mu&h hope on the up&oming thir' le"el; - en'ure' it all.
The thir' le"el %as an atro&ious 'elusion. There %ere no proper Higher
Kriyas !ut instea' &lassi& Yoga te&hni+ues; suita!le for a preparatory &ourse to
Kriya. The si= #amadhi te&hni+ues; gi"en at the &on&lusion of that ener"ating
an' !oring &ourse; %ere5 a "ariation of the Hong #a" te&hni+ue; three fairly
&ommon te&hni+ues of "isualization; the &lassi& instru&tion of &ontinuous
a%areness 'uring the 'ay an'; at the en'; a "ariation of the same .m me'itation
te&hni+ue - ha' re&ei"e' from my first Kriya organization. The "ariations of the
Hong #a" te&hni+ue; as %ell as of the .m te&hni+ue; seeme' 'e"ise' !y a lazy
min' %hose only purpose in mo'ifying them %as to a"oi' the a&&usation of
ha"ing &opie' from 4.Y.8s organization; %ith no &on&ern as to %hether the
resulting te&hni+ues %ere 'e"oi' of their po%er. For e=ample; in the first
te&hni+ue; the 88Hong #a"88 antra %as repla&e' !y >.m Baba'i> forgetting that
Hong #a" is a uni"ersal antra %hose sylla!les %ere spe&ifi&ally &hosen for
their po%er of &alming the !reath; %ith %hi&h they ha"e a "i!ratory &onne&tion.
The three te&hni+ues of "isualization %ere of a genre one &oul' fin' in any !oo6
on &on&entration an' me'itation te&hni+ues. For many of us %ho ha' yearlong
e=perien&e %ith the preliminary-to-Kriya te&hni+ues offere' !y 4.Y.8s
organization; !eing re-taught those te&hni+ues; 'isguise' an' passe' off as
#amadhi te&hni+ues; %as a&tually li6e a &ol' sho%er.
(1
Some of us 'are' to as6 the tea&her8s opinion a!out Gahiri :ahasaya8s Kriya. )t
first he %as reti&ent an' 'i' not seem gla' a!out our interest; then he too6
&ourage an' share' his "ie%s. /e !elie"e' that Gahiri :ahasaya ha' not
pra&ti&e' %ith total &ommitment all the tea&hings he re&ei"e' from <a!aIi;
therefore he ... 'ie'. )stoun'e'; %e realize' that sin&e Gahiri :ahasaya ha' not
o!taine' immortality Bas; in this tea&her8s opinion; shoul' happen to those %ho
gi"e their all to applying Kriya integrallyC; our tea&her %as 'ismissi"e of him.
<ut let me en' tal6ing a!out all this an' get !a&6 to other &onsi'erations.
(nterme44o< !e6@Age@Poll"ted Kriya Yoga
The min'set - 'e"elope' in follo%ing this s&hool le' me to meet people an'
groups in %hi&h Kriya Yoga %as pollute' %ith !e6@Age themes. - am remin'e'
of those 'ays %hene"er - listen to the tape re&or'ings of 'e"otional &hants %hi&h
- !ought at that time. Asually - fell in lo"e %ith an -n'ian bha'an an' sang it
%ithin me all through the 'ay. For me it ha' mu&h the same nature of foo'F -
really ha' the impression of eating that musi&.
Coming a&ross 'ifferent groups of people %ho pra&ti&e' Kriya, - ha' the
feeling of meeting a family more "ast an' "arie' than my first Kriya group %ho
stri&tly follo%e' 4.Y.8s tea&hings.
<as6ing in my state of elation; - 'i'n8t un'erstan' mu&h a!out their a&tual
'ay-to-'ay life. The only o'' trait - noti&e' %as a &lumsy attempt to a!i'e !y the
rules of an oriental lifestyle; %hi&h ha' here 'eteriorate' to the &ulti"ation of a
fe% inno&ent an' sometimes funny fa''iness. - learne' to relate to ea&h person E
for e=ample; to those %ho %oul' host me %hene"er a seminar %as hel' in a
'istant &ity E the %ay an e=plorer 'eals %ith un6no%n animals; %aiting for any
e&&entri& re"elation. )t times - %oul' rea&t to their o''ness sar&asti&allyF it %as
something - Iust &oul' not help; it &ame out so spontaneously.
Gater on - ha' o&&asion to meet an' approa&h more intimately those %ho
organize' the Kriya Yoga initiation seminaries for our tra"eling G"r"s. They
ga"e the impression of !eing honest resear&hers an' al%ays guarantee' that no
nonsense %oul' e"er slip out of their mouths. - learne' to listen to them
respe&tfully an' silently %hene"er they &orre&te' some of my fan&y
interpretations of Kriya Yoga. - %as surprise' %hen one of them; %ithout !eing
e=hi!itionisti&; +uote' !y heart a fe% lines from a %or6 !y 4.Y. E the same
propheti& lines %hi&h ha' on&e !een the sour&e of so many un&ertainties for me.
/e rea' an' re-rea' through those te=ts se"eral times trying to 'e&o'e themF he
really straine' in stu'ying those te=ts.
:y relationship %ith those resear&hers %as !ase' on real affe&tion an' it
ne"er &ame to 'isagreement; !itterness or formality. They %ere al%ays generous
to%ar' me an' respe&tful of my personality. ?hile passionately sharing
e"erything they ha' learne'; no matter if it &ost them a great 'eal of time; effort
an' money; ne"er 'i' they try to for&e something on me.
(2
)t that epo&h of my life; !esi'es the three main tea&hers 'es&ri!e' in this
&hapter; - re&ei"e' a &ouple of initiations !y other 88minor88 tea&hers that ha' on&e
!een the right-han' man one or another illustrious G"r" !ut then !e&ame
in'epen'ent !e&ause the G"r" 'iso%ne' them.
?e agree' our tea&hers %ere mostly me'io&re; sometimes impolite an'
unethi&al. Some trifling episo'es &onfirme' our first impressions of
impro"isation an'; in one &ase; of mental insta!ility. This %as strongly in
&ontrast %ith the &hara&ter %e e=pe&te' in those %ho &alle' themsel"es >spiritual
gui'es>. They 6ne% little a!out Kriya Yoga an' they taught it in a superfi&ial
%ay; !ut %e !elie"e' they %ere authorize' to initiate; an' this !lin'e' us. #ust for
this reason %e treate' them %ith a 'eferential an' tolerant attitu'e; forgi"ing
them %hen they !etraye' our trust. 88A"thori4ed88J /o% magi& an' hypnoti& %as
this %or' for us %ho ha' listene' to it re"erently so many times in 4.Y.8s s&hool.
-t is strange an' 'olorous to thin6 that it %as the 'eep-roote' 'ogmati& &on&ept
that Kriya &oul' !e re&ei"e' only from authorize' persons that perpetrate' the
%orst of our illusions.
- a&&epte' the far&e of the initiations as an ine"ita!le 'ra%!a&6 to su&&ess
in a&+uiring the information - %as sear&hing for %ith so mu&h passion. 3enerally
spea6ing after atten'ing many 'ifferent rituals; the e=planations %ere al%ays
+ui&6 an' shallo%F a 'estru&ti"e &riti&ism %as often raise' against information
&oming from other sour&es.
- %oul' finish e"ery initiation thin6ing ho% satisfie' - %as an' ma6e up
my min' to a!an'on all the pre"ious pra&ti&es for the one - ha' Iust re&ei"e'. -
ignore' any a%areness that the ne% initiation ha' only a''e' something
insignifi&ant to %hat - alrea'y 6ne% or that it %as &onfining me to a >&age> from
%hi&h - %oul' sooner or later feel an un!eara!le suffo&ation an' from %hi&h -
%oul' e"entually ha"e to !rea6 loose.
To many among us those initiations %ere a true "i&e. ?e sto&6e' up on
te&hni+ues li6e foo' for a famine. #ust to gi"e an e=ample; at almost all initiation
seminars a solemn ple'ge of se&re&y %as the pass%or' to !e a&&epte'. E"ery one
too6 this ple'ge !ut as soon as the meeting %as o"er; some share' the &o"ete'
ne%s %ith other stu'ents !y &ell-phone %ho; in turn; %oul' ta6e part in other
initiations an' re&ipro&ate the fa"or.
Some frien's returning from -n'ia e=presse' their e=&itement o"er su&h an
e=traor'inary lan'. <ut at the en' of their tales; 'isappointment in all the things
they ha' not !een a!le to learn emerge'. Often they %oul' meet a !oaster %ho
assure' them he 6ne% original Kriya Yoga an' &oul' initiate them all as long as
they 6ept it a total se&ret %ithout esta!lishing any &onta&t %ith other tea&hers. -n
this %ay the !oaster &oul' ensure the 'is&iples %oul' not re&ognize that it %as
not Kriya Yoga they %ere !eing taught. - realize' this only %hen; o"er&oming
their hesitation; - &on"in&e' them to &onfi'entially gi"e me a rough 'es&ription
of that te&hni+ue. Asually it %as either 4.Y.8s Kriya or nothing more than the
mere repetition of a antraJ ?hat ma'e me feel sa' %as not so mu&h the great
a'"antage gaine' !y those !raggers Bthe G"r"da3shina K'onationL they re&ei"e'
meant a real fortune at my frien's8 e=penseC !ut that my frien's misse' the
(
opportunity of learning Kriya from other sour&es in other pla&es.
Something 'ifferent happene' to a frien' %ho met <.G.; a 'es&en'ant of
Gahiri :ahasaya. This %as one of the master8s great-gran'sons; a man %ith a
great a&a'emi& !a&6groun' an' %ith a 'eep 6no%le'ge of Kriya, !ut my frien'
%as not a!le to learn anything from him. - %as ta6en a!a&6 %hen he tol' me that
in <enares; an' pro!a!ly throughout rest of -n'ia; Kriya Yoga %as not pra&ti&e'
any longer. - 6ept enough &ontrol not to interrupt or &hallenge him; !ut then !y
posing apparently in&i'ental +uestions; - trie' to un'erstan' %hat ha' happene'.
:y frien' ha'; as he usually 'i'; !egan the 'is&ussion %ith tri"ialities li6e
as6ing some information on -n'ian ha!its an' a!out an Ashram8s a''ress %here
he planne' to go. Then almost at the en' of the inter"ie% E he must ha"e
su''enly remem!ere' he %as in Gahiri :ahasaya8s house E he as6e' if any of the
'is&iples of Gahiri %ere still pra&ti&ing Kriya; an' re&ei"e' a sar&asti&ally sour;
negati"e response of; more or less; >7efinitely notF it is not pra&ti&e' any longer.
- 'are say it is not pra&ti&e' throughout the %hole -n'ian peninsula. 9ather; you
surely must !e the only one still pra&ti&ing itJ>
)t the en' of his narration; my frien' %as loo6ing at me +uestioningly. -
am still not sure %hether he %as hoping to &on"in&e me or %hether he %as Iust
a!sor!e' in !itter frustration. - 'i' not pry. -n my opinion; he 'i' not realize ho%
foolish his 'is&ussion ha' !een %ith that no!le person. ) &ertain !lo% &ame for
him one month later. /e hear' that a man from his same to%n ha' re&ently !een
initiate' into Kriya Yoga from the "ery personage he ha' met in <enaresJ /e
%as so irritate'; he planne' to go !a&6 to -n'ia to raise a protest to that no!le
man% Anfortunately; he 'i' not ha"e that &han&e E a serious 'isease 6ille' him. -n
spite of our huge &hara&ter 'ifferen&es; - %ill al%ays !e grateful for all the things
he share' %ith me &on&erning the path of Yoga.
)nother frien' remaine' for some 'ays at an Ashram in the hope he might
re&ei"e initiation into Kriya Yoga. The lea'er of the Ashram %as a%ay; an' my
frien' re&ei"e' the initiation from one of his 'is&iples. )t the &on&lusion he
a&+uire' a large "olume summarizing the te&hni+ues; an' at the en' of his trip;
"isi!ly &ontent; he sho%e' me the !oo6. The te&hni+ues 'i' not 'iffer mu&h
from those - alrea'y 6ne%; !ut there %ere many more 'etails. There %as nothing
in that !oo6; ho%e"er; that &oul' remo"e all my +uestionsF not a single hint a!out
ho% to o!tain Ke-hari "dra; nothing on :ho3ar either. On the &ontrary; - &an
remem!er a "ery &ompli&ate' te&hni+ue !ase' on the "isualization of the
Cha3ras as they are 'es&ri!e' in Tantri& te=ts. Ea&h te&hni+ue %as pre&e'e' !y a
theoreti& intro'u&tion %ith +uotations from an&ient !oo6s an' an illustration
%hi&h eliminate' any possi!le 'ou!t. -n the last part of the !oo6 a pre&ise
gra'ual routine %as gi"en. Of &ourse; there %as a note guaranteeing that all the
mentione' te&hni+ues &onstitute' Kriya Yoga as taught !y Baba'i; Gahiri
:ahasaya8s mythi&al G"r".
The material %as "ery interesting; an' - %oul' ha"e li6e' to yiel' to the
illusion that my +uest ha' finally en'e' sin&e those notes &ontaine' %hat - %as
sear&hing for. - simply ha' to &on"in&e myself that Baba'i ha' ma'e a synthesis
of the innumera!le spiritual pra&ti&es of Tantrism to &reate /is Kriya Yoga. -t
%as impu'ent to thin6 that :ho3ar &oul' !e &onsi'ere' no more than a "ariation
($
of the 1alandhara BandhaJ -f the instru&tions for Ke-hari "dra %ere not there;
ne"er min'; it pro!a!ly Iust meant that P Ke-hari %as not really so importantJ
?ith a !it of goo' %ill an' appli&ation; - &oul' ha"e &lose' the &ir&le. Chan&e
ma'e me listen to the re&or'ing of a &onferen&e %ith the author S%ami S.S. /e
'is&usse' ho% he ha' foun' those te&hni+ues in some tantri& te=ts %hi&h he ha'
translate'F he then ma'e an a&&urate sele&tion from them to form a &oherent
system of Kriya. /o% %as it possi!le; then; to ha"e a note saying that those
tea&hings &ame 'ire&tly from Baba'i@ Simple E as is the &ase %ith the maIority
of -n'ian masters; he ha' his 'is&iples %rite the !oo6F they ha' the !rilliant i'ea
of ma6ing it more interesting !y hinting that the te&hni+ues %ere 'eri"e' from
the mythi&al Baba'i. The tea&her; e=hi!iting another &lassi& -n'ian ha!it; ne"er
&he&6e' the material an' %as ta6en a!a&6 later on %hen he !e&ame a%are of
those >supplementary notes>. /e then trie' to 'efen' his 'is&iples8 %or6 stating
that after all P >Baba'i8s Kriya ha' Tantri& origins.>
<y no% - %as feeling +uite 'istant from my initial Kriya organization; !ut - still
respe&te' it. - too6 part in a re"ie% &lass of Kriya %hen t%o female :inisters of
that organization again "isite' our &ountry. 7uring an inter"al !et%een t%o
&onferen&es; something %on'erful an' s%eet happene'. ?hat - ha' hope' for so
ar'ently in the past an' yet ha' negate' in su&h a !rutal %ay; materialize' easily.
- ha' a pri"ate tal6 %ith one :inister %herein all my 'ou!ts %ere &larifie'. She
%as intelligent; 6in' an' tal6e' from 'ire&t e=perien&e. 9egar'ing Ke-hari
"dra, she sai' that it &omes %ith time; espe&ially !y persisting in tou&hing the
u"ula %ith the tip of the tongue. - also in+uire' a!out one of 4.Y.8s remar6s;
namely >The Cha3ras &an !e a%a6ene' !y psy&ho-physi&al !lo%s gi"en at their
'ifferent lo&ations.> The :inister &larifie' its meaning !y e=plaining it referre'
to the use of a antra &ouple' %ith !reath. No other hypotheti&al te&hni+ue
other than that %hi&h %as fully 'es&ri!e' in the %ritten material %as !eing
hinte' at. She e=plaine' that if a sylla!le is mentally &hante' in a Cha3ra8s
lo&ation %ith real intensity; it &reates a >psy&ho-physi&al !lo%>.
This &larifi&ation inspire' my pra&ti&e. 9eturning home; - ha' the
impression of again li"ing the !est time of my life. - 'is&o"ere' a %ay of
perfe&ting the final part of my Kriya routine5 mental Pranayama% ?hile
proIe&ting in ea&h Cha3ra the mental &hant of the antra; - realize' - ha' the
po%er to tou&h the &ore of ea&h one %ith an almost physi&al intensity. ) great
s%eetness sprang from this pro&e'ureF my !o'y seeme' to !e&ome stiff as a
statue an' the !reathless state ma'e my min' transparent as &rystal. - %as
%illing to put an en' to my sear&h an' prolong this state for the rest of my life
!ut the tea&her %e ha' in"ite' from -n'ia arri"e'.
((
:hird :ea-her o"tside the .rgani4ation
?hen the moment &ame to meet him; - %as not in the !est of moo's. Certain
&lues ha' %arne' me - %oul' ha"e to re&6on %ith a ra'i&ally ne% approa&h. -
%as afrai' this &oul' upset the simple an' a'e+uately profita!le routine into
%hi&h - ha' settle'. The magi&al realm of .m3ar; into %hi&h my first tea&her
B#6ami /.C ha' immerse' me in a passionate %ay; &oul' !e neither left asi'e nor
forgotten. - 'i' not e"en 'ream of putting other prin&iples in pla&e as the
foun'ation for my spiritual path; an' so - approa&he' my ne% tea&her %ith the
i'ea of reIe&ting him if; someho%; he appeare' to 'issua'e me from su&h a
reality.
- met this Kriya tea&her in a Yoga &enter. The essen&e of his intro'u&tory
spee&h %as that Kriya %as not inten'e' to inflate the min' an' the ego to%ar' a
hypotheti&al superior min'; !ut %as a Iourney !eyon' the min'; into
un&ontaminate' territory. - realize' that Sri Krishnamurti8s &on&ept %as the
sour&e from %hi&h my thir' tea&her 're% his i'eas a!out the 'amages &ause' !y
the "i&es of the human min'.
- in'ulgently o!ser"e' some ina'e+ua&ies in his !eha"ior %hi&h sho&6e'
other stu'ents. /e %as hot-tempere'. ?hen it &ame to tea&hing simple an' !anal
things that e"en 6in'ergarten &hil'ren &oul' un'erstan'; he flaunte' a great
profusion of %or's; an' &on&epts %ere repeate' a' nauseam. ?hen anyone in
pu!li& politely !ut 'etermine'ly as6e' for a pre&ise e=planation of some 'iffi&ult
pra&ti&al 'etail; he &ame out of his hypnoti& state an'; "isi!ly "e=e'; trie' to
humiliate an' silen&e the unfortunate listener. Sometimes he e=plo'e' %ith rage
%hene"er he sense' that un'erneath legitimate +uestions there %as a "eile'
opposition or an intention to &hallenge his authority.
- fo&use' all my attention on learning his form of Kriya an' ignoring his
o!"ious faults. /e &learly &ommuni&ate' to us that the reason for his tour to the
?est %as to reesta!lish the original tea&hings; an' this %as enough to o"er&ome
my initial %ariness.
-n the follo%ing initiation seminar the te&hni&al e=planation %as
reasona!ly &lear; e"en if in some parts %ere unusually syntheti&. For instan&e; his
instru&tions on Pranayama ? formally &orre&t E &oul' !e un'erstoo' only !y
those %ho ha' alrea'y !een pra&ti&ing Kriya Yoga for a long time.
)fter three months of serious pra&ti&e - a&hie"e' Ke-hari "dra an' realize'
that my e=hausti"e sear&h for the original Kriya ha' &ome to an en'. - follo%e'
this tea&her for si= years. /ereafter - summarize the reasons for my enthusiasm
an' %hy - later !ro6e off %ith him.
9eturning home after the seminar of initiation; une=pe&te' internal
&hanges &reate' a "ery positi"e perio' for me; e"en if it &oul' not !e 'efine' as
&alm. Ke-hari "dra !rought me a feeling of >'izziness> that laste' some 'aysF
my mental fa&ulties seeme' to !e fogge' up; !ut %hen all that &ease'; my Kriya
fle% high.
(*
-nspire' !y this ne% &on'ition; &omparing it to that of the mysti&s; -
realize' ho% 'iffi&ult it is to li"e; &arrying out 'aily %orl'ly 'uties; %ithout
!eing paralyze' !y su&h !lissJ Some 'ays - %as so happy that %hen - %ent out
for a %al6; if - met someone an' stoppe' to listen to him; no matter %hat he sai';
a su''en Ioy %oul' e=pan' in my &hest to the point that - &oul' !arely hol' !a&6
my tears. Goo6ing at the 'istant mountains or at other 'etails of the lan's&ape; -
%oul' try to 'ire&t my feeling to%ar' them in or'er to turn my paralyzing Ioy
into aestheti& raptureF only this &oul' 6eep !a&6 the Ioy &lut&hing my !eing; only
this &oul' hi'e it.
- !elie"e it is legitimate to as6 %hy 'o Kriya organizations not tea&h su&h
a simple te&hni+ue as :alabya Kriya; preferring to perpetuate en'less politi&al
arguments an' spe&ulations that &ontinue up to the present 'ay@
- !egan a systemati& stu'y of the %or6s of #ri Krishnam"rti; putting my heart
an' my soul into it. The o'' thing %as that KrishnaIi8s thoughts &ontaine' the
&ru&ial an' &on&lusi"e !oost that %oul' assist me; after many years of
&ontro"ersial !ut loyal 'is&ipleship; to !rea6 my 'epen'en&e on my thir' tea&her.
Krishnamurti sai' %hat %as then 'iffi&ult to fully agree %ith5 >?hat is the nee'
of a G"r"@ K...L You ha"e to %al6 !y yourself; you ha"e to ta6e the Iourney alone;
an' on that Iourney you ha"e to !e your o%n tea&her an' pupil.> ?hile - %as
rea'ing these lines - felt un'ou!te'ly that they e=presse' a 'eep truth; !ut my
logi& suggeste' peremptorily; >This is a sophismF e"en Krishnamurti a&te' as a
G"r" an' a&ts upon me no% Iust through his %ritings.> - &oul' not a&tualize his
%ise %arningF fear an' &on'itioning hel' me !a&6. /o% many mista6es %oul' -
still ha"e to ma6e; ho% many slaps %oul' - still ha"e to ta6e !efore - &oul'
affirm my free'om from g"r"s@
- stu'ie' many !oo6s !y this author !ut - %as literally o"er&ome !y the
!eauty of :he .nly ,e$ol"tion. - %al6e' in the &ountry loo6ing at e"erything
%ith my senses fully a%a6e !ut %ithout a single thought in my min'. /o%
'iffi&ult it %asJ <ut it %as not impossi!le. /o% right Krishnamurti %as %hen he
sai'5 >life !egins %here thought en's.> - nee'e' to re&reate silen&e aroun' me; to
return to simpli&ity; to fin' the time to &ontemplate <eauty again. ?al6ing
aroun' %ith this attitu'e !e&ame pure an' &onstant <lissJ <eauty %as al%ays
aroun' me !ut - ha'n8t noti&e' !e&ause - %as lost in my mental &onstru&ts !ase'
on Ne% )ge fantasies; or on pseu'o spiritual literature %hi&h %as a&tually trash.
- %as not a!le to see that <eauty for - %as lost E as Krishnamurti %oul' say E in
the ><eauty of my o%n ma6ing.> The more - rea' Krishnamurti; the more - felt -
ha' re&ently &rosse' through hell. - realize' that my o!session for fin'ing the
te&hni+ues of the >Original Kriya> ha'n8t emanate' from a heightene' form of
'ri"e to%ar' the 7i"ine One !ut %as a&tually moti"ate' !y a 'esire no 'ifferent
from the 'esire for material things. The attitu'e of &on'u&ting my he&ti& sear&h
%as a&tually a 'istra&tion; pre"enting me from enIoying %hat - alrea'y ha'. -t
ha' impo"erishe' me; 'raining me of the flo% of genuine aspiration to%ar' the
7i"ine.
The effort to &reate mental silen&e !rought me !a&6 to the "ery !eginning
of my spiritual path %hen - ha' 'e&i'e' to &on+uer the ten'en&y to 'ay'ream or
(,
Iump from one memory to another 'uring i'le moments. )t that time - 6ne%
perfe&tly %ell that un!ri'le' thought %as an a''i&tion; a "i&e gi"ing moments of
pleasure !ut !eing the primary &ause of mu&h misery. -t %as in or'er to 'is&ipline
myself that - stu'ie' the art of Pranayama an' 'is&o"ere' Kriya Yoga in the first
pla&e.
7uring this perio' - also rea' P"ran P"r"sh !y )sho6e Kumar ChatterIee; !ase'
on Gahiri :ahasaya8s 'iaries. 7uring the summer - &arrie' this !oo6 %ith me in
the &ountrysi'eF many times; after rea'ing a part of it; - %oul' gratefully raise
my eyes to the 'istant mountain tops an' thin6; >)t long lastPJ> - loo6e' at the
photograph of Gahiri :ahasaya on the front &o"er. ?ho 6no%s %hat state of
!liss he %as in %hile !eing photographe'J - sa% some horizontal lines on his
forehea'; his eye!ro%s raise' li6e in the #hambha$i "dra; %here a%areness is
set upon the hea'F a slight tension of his &hin seeme' to re"eal he %as pra&ti&ing
Ke-hari "dra. 7uring those 'ays his figure; %ith that !lissful smile; %as a
ra'iant sun in my heartF he %as a sym!ol of the perfe&tion for %hi&h - yearne'.
?hile trying to e=plore the meaning of !a$i Kriya - 'is&o"ere' the importan&e
of stu'ying Taoist -nternal )l&hemy. :y first referen&e !oo6 %as :aoist Yoga<
Al-hemy and (mmortality !y Charles Gu6 R Gu Kuan. :y attention %as
&onsi'era!ly stirre' upF - photo&opie' many pages; &ut out the most important
pie&es; put them in or'er an' glue' them onto four sheets of paper; highlighting
the four phases of Taoist -nternal )l&hemy. The similarity to Kriya Yoga %as
impressi"e.
?hen - ha' enough &onfi'en&e to relate my 'is&o"ery to my thir' tea&her
he %as annoye'; &laiming that !a$i Kriya %as pure Yoga an' %as also +uote' !y
4atanIali. 4atanIali B#"tra ---M20C simply states5 >nS!hi&a6re 6Sya"yThaIUSnamV>
%hi&h is translate'5 >!y &on&entration on the na"el; the see6er o!tains 6no%le'ge
a!out the 'ifferent organs of the !o'y an' their lo&ation>. -n my o%n small %ay;
- sa% that this #"tra ha' nothing to 'o %ith !a$i Kriya8s aim %hi&h is to a%a6en
the #amana &urrent; &reating !alan&e !et%een Prana an' Apana &urrents.
(n-remental ,o"tines
-t %as in that perio' that - !e&ame familiar %ith the &on&ept of (n-remental
,o"tine %hi&h - imme'iately &onsi'ere' hea"en-sent. This %as un'ou!te'ly the
most important instru&tion - re&ei"e' from this thir' an' last tea&her.
)n un"arying s&he'ule %hi&h &onsists of a 'aily pra&ti&e of the same set
of te&hni+ues; &hanging neither their or'er of pra&ti&e nor the num!er of their
repetitions; is typi&al of a 3riyaban %ho pra&ti&es for many years. -n &ontrast to
this s&heme; an (n-remental ,o"tine &onsists of using only one te&hni+ue; %hose
num!er of repetitions is gra'ually in&rease'. This in&rease happens on&e a %ee6
for a &ertain num!er of %ee6s Busually *C after a minimal use of the !asi&
te&hni+ues li6e aha "dra an' Kriya Pranayama. BThe a&&urate 'etails of ho%
'ifferent in&remental routines are stru&ture' are to !e foun' in the thir' part of
the !oo6 E Chapter 12.C
(.
This s&heme of pra&ti&e is "ery re%ar'ing !e&ause it lea's to mastery of
the te&hni+ue %hose num!er of repetitions is in&rease'. This pro&e'ure &an !e
applie' to ea&h Kriya te&hni+ue !ut espe&ially to the Higher Kriyas. -t also has a
positi"e effe&t on one8s personality; releasing it from many inner o!sta&les as
%ell as res&uing a 3riyaban from !ore'om an' loss of enthusiasm.
Anfortunately many >me'itation &ounselors> ha"e ne"er !een e=pose' to this.
/o% many times; in fa&t; %hen %e &omplaine' a!out a perio' of a!solute ari'ity;
'i' they &ome up %ith the ne&essity of loyaltyJ /o% many times %ere %e tol'
outlan'ish stories a!out that loyal 3riyaban %ho ha' his first intense spiritual
e=perien&e only on his 'eath !e'J >) loyal 'is&iple 'oesn8t lament %or6ing for
years or for an entire life %ithout getting any resultJ> is the reproa&h.
There is no 'ou!t that one shoul' &ontinue to pra&ti&e through seemingly
unpro'u&ti"e phases. -nstin&ti"ely many su&&ee' in re6in'ling their enthusiasm;
!ut only partly an' for a short time; !y rea'ing spiritual !oo6s; listening to tape'
spiritual tal6s; et&.
4ra&ti&al e=perien&e tea&hes that one rea&hes a stan'still %here further
progress appears impossi!le. The i'ea of pra&ti&ing a routine 'aily for one8s
entire life !e&ause of a promise ma'e at the moment of initiation !e&omes a
nightmare. This is the 'anger point %here interest an' passion for Kriya is "ery
&lose to %aning &ompletely. Fe% 6no% ho% to get out of this une=pe&te'
situation.
(n-remental ro"tines are the 'efiniti"e ans%er. Through this s&heme of
pra&ti&e; the essential &ore of ea&h te&hni+ue; 'epri"e' of any em!ellishment;
appears as something fi=e'; 'efinite; ine"ita!le E something that &oul' not !ut !e
that %ay. -f a &ertain "ariation of a Kriya te&hni+ue is re'un'ant or ineffe&ti"e; it
%ill fall a%ay !y itself. ?hat remains is the simplest logi&al translation of Gahiri
:ahasaya8s %or's into pra&ti&e.
An 5na$oidable Brea3
-n or'er to e=plain the 'efiniti"e &ra&6 in our relationship; it is ne&essary to refer
again to the haste an' shallo%ness %ith %hi&h my thir' :aster e=plaine' the
Kriya te&hni+ues.
The intro'u&tory le&ture to Kriya B%hi&h %as usually hel' the e"ening
!efore initiationC an' a !ig part of the seminar of initiation %as 'e"ote' to pure
philosophi&al tal6 %hi&h 'i'n8t tou&h the !asis of Kriya Yoga !ut %as a summing
up of Krishnamurti8s strong points; mainly the theme of no-min'; %hi&h he
improperly &alle' #6adhyaya. There %as no part of it that &oul' !e &riti&ize'; all
he sai' %as &orre&t; !ut many stu'ents; !eing un&omforta!le sitting on the floor;
%ith a&hing !a&6 an' 6nees; %aite' only for the e=planation of the te&hni+ues;
en'uring this long tal6 as a giant !ummer.
The tra'itional offerings Bhe also re+uire' a &o&onut; %hi&h %as "ery
'iffi&ult to fin'; for&ing the stu'ents to 'esperately loo6 in store after storeC lay
in 'isarray !efore a s&ruffy altar% Sin&e he usually arri"e' "ery late; those %ho
&ame from other &ities pi&ture' all their plans for the return Iourney falling
(0
through an' %ere "ery an=ious.
7espite it !eing late; people !eing tire'; an' some alrea'y lea"ing to &at&h
their train; he lo"e' to linger on 4atanIali8s Yama an' !iyama, ta6ing all the
ne&essary time to as6 the au'ien&e to ta6e a solemn "o% that; from no% on; the
male stu'ents %oul' loo6 at %omen Be=&ept their %ifeC as mothers an';
&orrespon'ingly; %omen %oul' loo6 at men Be=&ept their hus!an'C as fathers.
The pu!li& listene' to his "ain %or's %ith a sigh of ill-&on&eale' nuisan&e.
E"eryone ga"e an assent %ith a no'; Iust to stop his ra"ings.
12
Only then 'i' he
s%it&h to a hurrie' e=planation of the !asi& te&hni+ues. One 'ay - 'e&i'e' to
time himF the e=planation of the fun'amental te&hni+ue of Pranayama %as
offere' in no more than t%o minutesJ /e 'emonstrate' Kriya Pranayama !y
means of an e=&essi"ely lou' "i!ratory soun'. /e 6ne% this soun' %as not
&orre&t; !ut he &ontinue' using it so that the last ro%s of stu'ents &oul' hear it;
sparing himself the annoyan&e of getting up an' %al6ing among them as Kriya
tea&hers usually 'o. -n any &ase; he 'i' not !other to say the soun' ha' to !e
smooth rather than "i!rating. - 6no% that many of the stu'ents !elie"e' this %as
the >se&ret> he ha' !rought from -n'ia an' trie' to repro'u&e the same noise. /e
&arrie' on that %ay for years; in spite of his &lose &olla!orators8 polite
&omplaints.
<y this time - a&&epte' e"erything an' - %oul' ne"er ha"e 'reame' of
&omplaining. Ne"ertheless one 'ay - ha' a "isit from the &ouple %ho organize'
the master8s tours in 3ermany. - ha' !e&ome a&+uainte' %ith those 6in' frien's
'uring the seminars of my first tea&her #6ami /.. ?hile tal6ing together; they
emphasize' the ne&essity of ma6ing a parti&ular proposal to our tea&her5 to
organize; at the en' of his Kriya initiation seminars; a gui'e' group pra&ti&e
%hi&h ser"e' as a re"ie% !oth for the ne% initiates an' for those %ho %ere
alrea'y pra&ti&ing. - o&&upie' myself %ith ha"ing this proposal rea&h the tea&her
through a frien' %ho %ent to -n'ia. - ga"e him a letter to 'eli"er to the tea&her
%ith my regar's an' a %arm em!ra&e. - forgot the %hole matter.
:aster8s rea&tion %as ine=pli&a!le. /e interprete' my letter as an o!li+ue
&riti&ism. )s a response; he &rosse' me off his list of those %ho organize' his
European tours. /is 'e&ision %as transmitte' to the -talian &oor'inator; %ho 'i'
not e"en inform me. Some months %ent !y. :y e=perien&e %ith that tea&her
pro!a!ly %oul' ha"e en'e' that %ay; ha' - not gone to %el&ome him !a&6 to
Europe. ?e e=&hange' hugs as if nothing ha' happene'. /e apparently
interprete' my presen&e as a mo"e of repentan&e. Some hours later %hen he %as
resting; his &olla!orator; %ith a slight in'e&iphera!le hint of em!arrassment;
e=plaine' to me %hat ha' happene' !ehin' the s&enes. - %as appalle' an'
12
- respe&t of &ourse Yama@!iyama Bthe %hat-is-&orre&t an' the %hat-is-not-&orre&tC !ut; in my opinion;
re+uiring people %ho are an=ious for learning Kriya Yoga te&hni+ues to ta6e an oath to o!ey them is
only a far&e an' a %aste of time. :y tea&her8s re+uest in parti&ular %as impossi!le; an oath that no
one %oul' e"er respe&t. ?hy not put &onfi'en&e in the transforming po%er of Kriya@ ?hy thin6 that
%ithout oaths; a 3riyaban8s life %oul' !e li&entious@ The ne&essity of a'opting spe&ifi& %ays of
!eha"ior is something that appears spontaneously after ha"ing taste' the honey of the spiritual
e=perien&e. 4erhaps in the !eginning the !est thing is not to &ry shame !e&ause of a pro!lemati&
stu'ent8s !eha"ior. To put it simply; it has !een seen that people li"ing a morally +uestiona!le life %ho
%ere su&&essful in Kriya spontaneously &ame to the so-&alle' "irtuous life; %hile a lot of &onformists
faile'.
*2
'isoriente'. :y first impulse %as to a!an'on e"erything an' se"er any
&onne&tion %ith him; !ut in or'er not to 'istur! the pea&e of all the persons %ho
%ere my frien's an' %ho ha' follo%e' me in this a'"enture; - 'e&i'e' to preten'
nothing ha' happene'; 6eep on &olla!orating %ith him an' 'rop the theme of my
letter.
-f - ha' gone - %oul' ha"e 'istur!e' ne=t 'ay8s initiation into the Higher
Kriyas. That %as a !eautiful moment in %hi&h Gahiri :ahasaya8s Kriya re"eale'
Bto those %ho ha' the sensi!ility to per&ei"e itC all its hi''en !eauty. :y role %as
to ser"e as translator. - 6ne% %ell ho% to perform su&h a fun&tion; reporting
e"ery last 'etail; %hile the man %ho %oul' ha"e repla&e' me %as fille' %ith ol'
6no%le'ge an' out of ha!it %oul' ha"e negle&te' to translate .2W of the tal6.
7uring that initiation; :aster 'emonstrate' :ho3ar in a %ay "isi!ly
'ifferent from the pre"ious year. ?hen one of the listeners as6e' him a!out the
reason for the &hanges; he replie' he ha' not &hange' anything an' argue' that in
the past seminars a pro!lem of translation might ha"e o&&urre'. /is lie %as
o!"ious. The +uestioning 3riyaban remem!ere' %ell the hea' mo"ements he ha'
pre"iously !een sho%n.
Confronte' %ith other minor &hanges from one year to the ne=t; - ha' the
impression - %as &ooperating %ith an ar&haeologist %ho %as 'eli!erately altering
&ertain fin'ings to Iustify them to the pu!li& %ithin the theoreti&al frame%or6 to
%hi&h he %as a&&ustome'.
:onths later 'uring another tour; %hen %e %ere alone an' he %as
sear&hing for something in a room; - foun' the &ourage to 'rop a hint a!out a
te&hni&al issue %hi&h ha' set one Kriya s&hool against another. /e su''enly
turne' to%ar' me %ith hate in his eyes; shouting that my pra&ti&e %as not his
!usiness. This; a&&or'ing to %hat -8m a!le to remem!er; %as the sole te&hni&al
>'is&ourse> - ha' %ith him in the entire &ourse of my si= years %ith him.
From that moment on%ar' all %as &hange'. - 'eli!erately !egan to &ontrol
myself an' ma'e the resolution to al%ays agree %ith him. - a&te' so %ell that one
'ay he as6e' me to tea&h Kriya to those %ho %ere intereste' an' %ho &oul'n8t
meet him on his tours. - reIoi&e' at the opportunity !e&ause - 'reame' - &oul'
finally e=plain Kriya in a &omplete an' &omprehensi"e %ay. - %ante' none of my
stu'ents to e"er feel the pain of seeing a legitimate +uestion go un&onsi'ere'.
) year passe' !y; an' - sense' - %as 'oing "irtually useless %or6. - ga"e Kriya
initiation follo%ing a man'atory fi=e' proto&ol. )fter intro'u&ing the theme of
no-min'; - s%it&he' to the e=planation of the !asi& te&hni+ues. - too6 lea"e of
those stu'ents; &ounseling a minimal routine !ut %ell 6no%ing that most %oul'
pra&ti&e at ma=imum for ten 'ays; an' then lea"e e"erything an' pursue other
esoteri& interests. Asually one or t%o among the most tena&ious stu'ents ma'e
up +uestions an' &alle' me Iust to &arry on the pretense of &ontinuing; from a
'istan&e; a relationship %ith a real person.
?hen :aster &ame to our &ountry - in"ite' all the ne% initiates to the
seminar %here my tea&her %oul' !e present. Anfortunately; many 'i'n8t
>sur"i"e> su&h a meeting. )&&ustome' !y me to !e a!le to put forth any
+uestions an' to al%ays re&ei"e some pre&ise ans%er; they trie' to 'o the same
*1
%ith the tea&her. :any entere' a 'eep &risis after o!ser"ing his almost total la&6
of human un'erstan'ing %hile simultaneously !eing 6i&6e' aroun' !y him.
Too many things %ere not going in the right 'ire&tion. - felt that this man;
%hose e"ery small %him - trie' to satisfy as if &arrying out a sa&re' 'ee'; 'i' not
lo"e Kriya. -nstea'; he use' it only to &reate a more !eautiful life for himself in
the ?est &ompare' to the %ret&he' one in -n'ia he ha' often 'es&ri!e' to me.
)nother year %ent !y. On a re+uest from frien's a!roa'; - %ent to tea&h
Kriya Yoga to their group. There - met a "ery serious stu'ent %ho %as alrea'y
familiar %ith my tea&her8s !eha"ior an' %as ta6ing part in the initiation seminar
only as a refresher. /e as6e' me a lot of pertinent +uestions an' - ga"e him
a&&urate ans%ers. )t that point he as6e'5 >From %hom ha"e you learne' all these
'etails@> /e %ell 6ne% that my tea&her %as a total 'isaster from a 'i'a&ti& point
of "ie%. /e per&ei"e' that - ha' learne' many 'etails from other sour&es. /o%
&oul' - gi"e Kriya initiation using 6no%le'ge that 'i' not originate from my
tea&her@ /e un'erstoo' my pre'i&ament an' %as surprise' that sin&e - %as
authorize' to tea&h Kriya; - ha' ne"er ha' the &han&e to tal6 freely %ith my
tea&her a!out Kriya 'etailsJ -t %as logi&al an' fitting for me to settle the matter
as soon as possi!le.
Kno%ing the iras&i!le 'isposition of my tea&her; - hesitate' a long time
!ut there %as no %ay out. Through a frien'; - sent him a fa= mentioning the
matter at han' an' praye' him to a'Iust his s&he'ule so %e &oul' 'is&uss it after
his arri"al 'uring his ne=t tour. /e %as in )ustralia; !ut %ithin one %ee6 at the
latest - %oul' ha"e re&ei"e' an ans%er. :y su!&ons&ious %as rea'y for a
'isaster; anti&ipating an e"ent - intuiti"ely 6ne% %oul' &ome. The most pro!a!le
situation %as that he %oul' !e&ome "ery angry an' fly into a rage. -f the %hole
situation slippe' out of my han's an'; as a result of our !rea6; he stoppe'
&oming to our group; those %ho lo"e' him %oul' suffer. Fe% people; in fa&t;
%oul' !e a!le to &omprehen' the reason for my a&tion. - %oul' !e the one %ho
ha' 'istur!e' a &omforta!le though imperfe&t situation. :y frien's li6e' himF
his annual "isit %as a po%erful stimulus to their effort an' moti"ate' them to
pra&ti&e Kriya intensely.
) harsh reply &ame a fe% 'ays later. -n a 'is'ainful %ay; he 'i' not
a''ress it 'ire&tly to me !ut preten'e' to ans%er the 8persona8 that ha' materially
sent my letter "ia fa=. /e %rote that my e=&essi"e atta&hment to the te&hni+ues
%oul' ne"er let me out of the fen&es of my min' E - %as li6e St. Thomas; too
'esirous to tou&h %ith my han' an' "erify the goo'ness of his tea&hings. /e
a''e' that if he satisfie' my re+uest; it %oul' only !e to gratify my ego.
9ea'ing the term >gratifi&ation;> - 6ne% he ha' un'erstoo' nothing. ?e
shoul' ha"e tal6e' to ea&h other long !efore it &ame to thisJ - %on'ere' %hy he
ha' ne"er allo%e' me to e=press my &on&erns. - 'i'n8t %ant to &ontest him; -
'i'n8t %ant to 'estroy himF the ne&essity that !rought me to %rite him %as to
esta!lish on&e an' for all %hat - %as suppose' to &ommuni&ate an' %hat not to
&ommuni&ate to the 3riyabans 'uring initiation. ?hy ha' he al%ays e"a'e' me@
- 'e&i'e' to !eha"e &an'i'ly; as if - ha' not per&ei"e' his tone. - %ante'
to see %hat he %as &apa!le of. - neither apologize' nor ans%ere' in a resentful
tone. - %rote that - taught Kriya on his !ehalf an' therefore a mutual 'is&ussion
*2
a!out &ertain Kriya 'etails %as ne&essary. - a''e' that at su&h an e"ent the other
three people in Europe authorize' !y him to impart Kriya initiation &oul' also !e
present. - thus ma'e him un'erstan' that he %oul' not ha"e %aste' his time an'
!reath for only me. - ne"er re&ei"e' an ans%er; neither then nor e"er. ) fe%
%ee6s later - sa% on his -nternet site that the name of my to%n ha' !een ta6en
off the list for his "isit to -taly. :y se&on' letter ha' !rought a!out a 'efiniti"e
split. The nightmare %as o"erJ
- too6 a one-'ay "a&ation an' %ent for a long %al6F - roame' a lot; tensely;
imagining a hypotheti&al 'is&ussion %ith him. )ll of a su''en; - foun' myself
&rying %ith Ioy. -t %as too !eautiful E - %as free. - ha' !een %ith him too many
years; an' no% all that ha' really en'e'J
*
Appendix #1*t Ne8-A2e-P..*ted Kriya Yoga
The pro!lem of &onsi'ering the %rong attitu'es to%ar's the Spiritual path is a
more serious theme than %hat is &ommonly per&ei"e'. ) full realization of the
fa''iness that 6eep many 3riyabans2 min' !usy &oul' 'ri"e any serious Kriya
tea&her &razy. 7o %e really thin6 that all the 3riyabans %ho sti&6 faithfully to a
s&he'ule of regular pra&ti&e are free from insane an' totally irrational
e=pe&tations that &ontra'i&t the "ery !asis of the mysti&al path@
Get us try to resol"e the follo%ing 'ou!t5 88Often %e intro'u&e to another
person the "alue of Kriya Yoga% This person sustains un'e&i'e' although %ith a
!ene"olent attitu'e the impa&t %ith our enthusiasm. -t may happen that later this
person !egins to sho% an un&ur!e' enthusiasm a!out the i'ea of un'erta6ing this
'is&ipline. No%; is it possi!le that this o'' &hange is 'ue to the fa&t that our too
enthusiasti& %or's a!out the amazing effe&ts of Kriya ha"e &reate' a &olossal
'e&eption@88 Anfortunately; if some part of our e=planation has !een t%iste' or
o"erloo6e' !y our listener; a 'angerous illusion has ta6en soli' roots in hisMher
min'.
The greatest an' most insi'ious 'elusion is that Kriya is an s&ientifi&ally
!ase'; an' therefore almost automati&; tool of self therapy Bpsy&hologi&al.C The
proIe&t of em!ar6ing on the Kriya path %ith the hope of getting free from
'epression or other &ommon forms of neuroses lea's no%here. -f you ha"e a si&6
min' an' after ha"ing e=perimente' %ith alternati"e reme'ies; you follo% the
&ounsel of a too mu&h enthusiasti& frien' an' try the Kriya path too; you %on8t
o!tain anything; e=&ept for a hea'a&he. Not only that5 if; through this pro&ess
something goo' happens in your psy&ho-physi&al system you %ill not re&ognize
it an' get only anguish. -n this situation there is no lo"e for Kriya. You fear in
your heart you %ill !e 'isappointe' an' you %ill.
Kriya %or6s %hen there is lo"e for the 7i"ine an' great appre&iation for
the Kriya te&hni+ues. You &annot loo6 at Kriya %ith suspi&ion5 >7oes it really
%or6>@ No human &an e"er tou&h the s"preme Good of Kriya unless you pla&e it;
%ith unsha6ea!le trust; a!o"e all the other a&hie"ements of the %orl'. You
&annot &lumsily try to &amouflage your s6epti&ism !y preten'ing a none=istent
spiritual interest. Kriya &an %or6 e"en if you are not a >religious> person; !ut it
shoul' !e the o!Ie&t of your enthusiasm an' aspiration.
Kriya is not a psy&hologi&al Iourney in the realm of our min' !ut a spiritual path.
Forgetting this gi"es all 'eformations green light. For e=ample some nourish the
groun'less e=pe&tation that Kriya pra&ti&e might amplify their mental po%ers.
This i'ea is su!tly fostere' !y some Kriya literature.
- 'on8t %ant to say that this is the only i'ea that &omes out from &ertain
literature. <y no meansJ You are in"ite' to see6 the 7i"ine only; +uoting the
3ospel %ith authority. Yet the pre&e'ing i'ea is &reate' !y many 'is&ourses. -t
gi"es origin to an almost ine=tinguisha!le os&illation !et%een see6ing the 7i"ine
only; surren'ering to /is %ill %ithout as6ing any other thing; an' to use %ill;
*$
imagination an' effort to get some tangi!le results E %hi&h it is the aspe&t that;
Iust in or'er to !e un'erstoo'; - &all 88magi&88.
This situation is ma'e more unsta!le !y the fa&t that; o%ing to religious
&on'itioning; the i'ea of mo"ing to%ar's 3o' might remain; for many persons
an' for a long time %ithout an oun&e of attra&ti"eness.
The 'a%ning of a spiritual a%a6ening is %hen su''enly the .m3ar
'imension enters one8s life. .m3ar is important; "ery important. ?ithout it; you
&an repeat all 'ay long5 >Thou art that> !ut you 'on8t grasp its meaning. You are
only enIoying lofty i'eas. E"en if you !elie"e in a /igher #el& an' 'esire to li"e
%ithout !etraying it; if you are not in &onta&t %ith the .m3ar reality; you !etray
your /igher #el& &ontinuously.
- am not afrai' of saying that %ithout this !aptism; one8s pra&ti&e of Kriya
is a &ari&ature of Gahiri :ahasaya8s Kriya. You &annot tal6 only a!out spiritual
e"olution lin6e' to the num!er of Kriyas you ha"e pra&ti&e'. >E"olution> is a
"ague; in&onsistent mirage %hi&h 'estroys all genuine spiritual aspiration. )n
hypotheti&al e"olution is less than nothing &ompare' to the e=perien&e of
merging into the .m3ar "i!ration.
- !egan to free myself from all esoteri&-magi& &on'itioning %hen - %as in"ite'
!y a lo&al &ultural institution to gi"e lessons on the present ten'en&y of &reating
self-ma'e religion. - %ent through the %hole history of %estern esoteri&ism. You
&an un'erstan' %here the !oun'ary line !et%een the genuine mysti&al +uest an'
the &ulti"ation of magi& am!itions lay %hen you are familiar not only %ith the
history of the mysti&al mo"ements !ut esoteri& too.
- %as 'elighte' to prepare the lessons !y stu'ying the !est a"aila!le essays
an' te=t!oo6s E - mean !oo6s %ritten !y a&a'emi&s %ho 'i'n8t !elong Bor %ere
so smart as to hi'e their mem!ership or affiliationC to any parti&ular mysti&al
s&hool an' manifeste' a 'eta&he' attitu'e to%ar' the %hole matter. - appre&iate'
those te=ts that %ere &apa!le of presenting the essen&e of those religious
mo"ements %hi&h flourishe' freely aroun' the great religions.
This %as an un&lou'e' perio' of my life5 - %as "ery gratifie' to ha"e time
an' opportunity to pursue su&h stu'ies. The impa&t of &ertain rea'ings; the
li"eliness of &ertain histori&al fa&ts; ha' the effe&t of &leaning my path from
useless 'ogmas a'mitte' inno&ently into my life through the 'oor of mee6
a'apting to the i'eals of my first Kriya organization. - %as stru&6 !y the
'e"astating in&onsisten&y of many esoteri& mo"ements; %i'ely re&ognize' as
'eman'ing an' elitist. :any magnifi&ent terms; %hi&h %oul' ha"e on&e allure'
me; turne' out to !e totally empty of any signifi&an&e. Their re'un'an&y fille'
me %ith nausea as if they %ere an o!s&enity !rought forth !y a monster. - %as
stri&6en !y the %ea6ness of the human min'; !y its 'is&ouraging slo%ness in
'issol"ing glaring 'e&eptions an' falla&ies.
Sin&e the first lesson; - trie' to &ommuni&ate %hat is !eing e=presse'
&learly %ith the %or' 88mysti&.88 - repeate' that e"en if in some &onte=t the %or'
mysti- e"o6es a relationship %ith the mystery; %ith the &on&ept of initiation
Bfrom the 3ree6 XYZ[\]^_ Kmusti6osL; an initiateC into se&ret religious rituals
Balso this from the 3ree6 X`a; to &on&ealC; a mysti- is one %ho tries sin&erely
*(
Ba'opting any form of mental an' or !o'ily 'is&iplineC to surren'er themsel"es to
something %hi&h is the +uintessen&e of supreme &omfort; something %hi&h lays
!eyon' the territories of the min' E unattaina!le !y the a&ro!ati&s of a ne"er
satisfie' min'.
The pro!lem %as that that something !eyon' min' %as unintelligi!le an'
ha' no appeal for most part of them. - repeate' to no purpose ho% frail Bfull of
suggesti!ility an' "ulnera!ilityC %as the human psy&he %hen it 'eals %ith
approa&hing the spiritual path. - sa% that my stu'ents sho%e' s&ant regar' for
this theme. They 'i'n8t seem to realize the relation it ha' %ith their o%n life.
9ather someone &onteste' me remem!ering me the great "alue of the &uriosity in
!ringing forth the s&ientifi& sear&h.
- realize' %ith &ol' min' that some listeners &ame to my lessons in the
hope to re&ei"e support an' fuel for their illusions. To%ar's the en' of &y&le of
lessons - trie' to e=toll the &on&ept of a 88-lean mysti&al path88 E a path 'ire&te'
one pointe'ly to%ar's the total surren'er to 3o' an' not pollute' !y the fantasies
an' 'eformations of the human min'.
- tal6e' pri"ately %ith some stu'ents a!out ho% to approa&h the "ery &ore
of the spiritual path. - e=tolle' the "alue of spiritual &lassi&s li6e5 >:ales o& a
,"ssian Pilgrim>.
- e=tolle' ho% !eautiful an' "alua!le it %as feeling li6e pilgrims; li6e
those souls %ho follo%e' the thousan'-year-ol' spiritual tra'ition of Contin"o"s
Prayer. -t %as e"i'ent that - ha' strongly straye' off of my 'i'a&ti& theme.
/o%e"er they forgot e"erything Iust fi"e minutes after our &on"ersation an'
re"eale' the stimulus of the most &urious illusions %ith the firm proposal of
&ulti"ating them on their o%n %ith great 'elight.
)t the en' of this 'i'a&ti& e=perien&e - ha' &lear in front of me the great 'anger
to &onsi'er any spiritual path as a magi& pro&ess. )&tually; there are some aspe&ts
of Kriya a'"ertising that seem an in"itation to trea' the path of :agi&. 88You %ill
'e"elop this; you %ill 'e"elop that....88 There is a su!tle &on'itioning; see's of
illusion that %ill flourish at 'ue time.
- 'on8t a'"ertise Kriya; !ut - 6no% %hat - %oul' say5 88Kriya Yoga is a
spiritual path !ase' on goo' metho's of &on&entration an' 4rayer. These
metho's ha' !een utilize' for &enturies.88 Not a %or' more. - %oul' ne"er sho%
pi&s of people %ho %ere su&&essful in Kriya; - 'i'n8t either report of famous
personages praising Yoga in general or Kriya Yoga ... sin&e this gi"es the i'ea you
%ant to sell something.
- 'on8t appre&iate that some Kriya s&hool use sometimes B'uring mass
initiationC rites similar to :agi&. They employs sym!olism; purifi&ation fire rites;
to engen'er strong emotion; !elief an' !lin' trust.
?hy !oth Kriya an' :agi& re+uire to ta6e an oath of se&re&y a!out the
te&hni+ues@ -n religion there is 'is&retion not se&re&y. 7is&retion &omes
spontaneous to intelligent an' sensiti"e people; se&re&y is unnatural; irrational;
impra&ti&al an' therefore re+uires an oath.
**
There are t%o main ten'en&ies in magi& an'; &onse+uently; t%o typi&al %ays of
straying off one8s spiritual path. The first is the mania of re&ei"ing initiation from
many 'ifferent 88legitimate'88 lineages of transmissionF the se&on' is the eagerness
to re&ei"e 'etaile' information a!out esoteri& pro&e'ures inten'e' to alter the
%orl' of phenomena; other%ise go"erne' !y the ine"ita!ility of the physi&al
la%s.
- ha"e a "i"i' re&olle&tion of t%o 3riyaban frien's mat&hing the t%o
aforesai' &ategories.
<y my first Kriya tea&her; - 6ne% a person %ho %asn8t there in the spasmo'i&
sear&h for original Kriya !ut !e&ause of the illustrious line of 'es&ent of that
tea&her. /e sai' that 88line of 'es&ent88 %as the most important thing to &are %hile
approa&hing a spiritual tea&her.
/e %as a'amant in pra&ti&ing Kriya %ith %rong mo'alities; ma6ing
glaring mista6es. For instan&e; he negle&te' the !asi& rules of health; refuse';
'uring me'itation; to assume the &orre&t position of the !a&6!one; 'i'n8t e"en try
to get immo!ility in the final part of his routine. -t %as impossi!le to &orre&t him.
/e !eha"e' to%ar' me in a "ery &or'ial %ay !ut; %hen he tal6e' a!out the
a!solute pla&e to !e gi"en to ethi& rules liste' !y 4atanIali; he %as a!le to ma6e
me feel li6e a %orm. /e &riti&ize' my o!session to perfe&t the pra&ti&e of Kriya.
/e e=plaine' that the "ery 'esire to master a me'itation te&hni+ue meant
&ulti"ating 'esire an' this %as against <u''hist prin&iples.
The !elief that the po%er B<ara6aC of the great Tea&hers of the past; is still
present in their 'es&en'ants; as a non-stop &hain is &ommon enough. /e %as
&on"in&e' that the spiritual progress &annot happen e=&ept through re&ei"ing this
>po%er>. -n his life he %as 'estine' to %ent on re&ei"ing Kriya from those %ho
&laime' to ha"e a "ali' lineage although their tea&hings 'i'n8t a'' nothing to
%hat he alrea'y 6ne%. /e %as spell!oun' !y the i'ea of >transmission of
po%er.> /e !elie"e' that the po%er re&ei"e' through initiation ha' in itself the
po%er of re'emption.
/e ga"e not so mu&h importan&e to !e serious in the pra&ti&e of the Kriya
te&hni+ues E he sai' they %ere Iust to purify oneself !efore re&ei"ing the real
88initiation88 %hi&h for him meant 88po%er.88 ?hat - ne"er un'erstoo' of him %as
that no% an' then he %ent to assist to the liturgi&al pra&ti&es of a Catholi& &hur&h
only 88as a !lan' form of e=or&ism.88
Anfortunately; he %ent on paying attention to the re"elations &oming from
a healer Ba &hanneler
1
C to %hom he %ent in or'er that the spirits re"eal to him
1
Classi&al spiritualism - &hara&terize' !y a person Bme'iumC %ho enters a tran&e state at a 'es6;
ans%ers the +uestions put !y the !ystan'ers through a &o'e of lou' raps - has han'e' o"er its pla&e to
more mo'ern metho's su&h as those %here all the parti&ipants; putting their han's on an upsi'e-'o%n
glass to mo"e it among the letters of the alpha!et stampe' on a &omforta!le fle=i!le ta!let BOuiIa
!oar'C. :any prefer the more a&&essi!le re"elations of a -hanneler %ho lets the in"o6e' entity
e=press through the floo' of his o%n elo+uen&e. -t is interesting to see ho% the -hanneler2s
!iographies tra&e a &ommon s&heme. )ll tell that on&e they %ere s6epti& of their o%n fa&ulties an'
%oul' not a&&ept yiel'ing to the higher ?ill %ho ha' 'e&i'e' to entrust to them the mission to ser"e
as me'ium !et%een spirits an' humanity. On&e their mission %as a&&epte'; from the same ultra
mun'ane sour&e &ame the inspiration to mi= the flo% of the "arious re"elations %ith the 'iagnosis of
unli6ely illnesses; %ith pres&ription of e=pensi"e alternati"e reme'ies.

*,
the 3armi- reason of a light illness that in my opinion; &oul' !e &ure' easily
follo%ing the usual 'ietary rules. Gater he met a group of people %ho pra&ti&e'
spiritualism an' ha' Kar'e& as o&&ult tea&her.
- atten'e' a &ouple of times their meetings. The lifestyle reigning in that gloomy
en"ironment ha' the &hara&teristi&s of a &ult e"en if they 'isguise' as a &atholi&
group of prayer. :y frien' &reate' a strong !on' %ith that groupF unfortunately
that far&e &ost him 'early. /e plunge' into situations of su&h a narro% "ision that
his !eha"ior appeare' grotes+ue. -t %as a re"elation for me to %itness his mental
fragility. 1ery often; from !ehin' the mas6 of a self-&onfi'ent appearan&e; a frail
personality allo%e' others to 'efrau' him in the %orst of the %ays. /is original
'esire to fin' a &hannel that put him in 'ire&t &onta&t %ith the po%er an'
!lessings of an&ient masters en'e' in the %orst of all prisons. /e ga"e all his
possessions; an' the totality of his energies; to a person %ho %as an authenti&
rogue.
1$
That person &laime' to ha"e ha' the pri"ilege to &ommuni&ate through a
me'ium %ith 4.Y. an' %ith Gahiri :ahasaya. -t %as patheti& an'; to an e=tent;
e"en amusing !eing tol' that no%a'ays 4.Y. 8s message is5 >-n this epo&h; the
Kriya is ol'-fashione' an' useless. 7e"otion is enoughJ>.
)nother 3riyaban frien' seeme' to li"e only for >impro"ing> his Kriya !y
in&orporating "arious esoteri& pro&e'ures; e"en those 'es&ri!e' in the manuals of
Ceremonial magi&. /e %as &on"in&e' that only !y using &ertain formulas an'
initiati& sym!ols; %as it possi!le to &omplete the e"olutionary Iump &on'u&i"e to
li!eration.
)fter a great insisten&e; - a&&epte' to rea' %hat for him %as a masterpie&e
of initiati& literature. The !oo6 surprise' me for the +uantity of information it
&ontaine'. ?hile rea'ing it; - entere' an almost hypnoti& state an' 'i'n8t
imme'iately realize that ea&h &hain of i'eas therein &ontaine' ha' no !asis at all;
!ut %as only offspring of the un!ri'le' imagination of the author. Through an
into=i&ation %ith %or's; the author8s imagination 'are' to 'e"elop free from the
relationship %ith reality an' from the rules of logi&. The %hole thing %as only a
pure mental enIoyment E &ompara!le to that of rea'ing a fantasy no"el. 9ea'ing
Tol6ien %oul' ha"e !een immensely more interesting an' %ise. /o% &an you
thin6 of e=perien&ing something &on&rete !y Iust rea'ing su&h Iun6@ - &ounsele'
to my frien' some goo' !oo6sF he state' he ha' alrea'y rea' them. <ut it %as a
lie E he preferre' to 6eep them at a 'istan&e.
- &ame to 6no% that he %as the spiritual gui'e of a small group of persons
posing as &hristian 'e"otees; %hile they %ere Iust !e%il'ere'. - &an8t imagine
%hat he taught them sin&e he ne"er tal6 to me of this a&ti"ity.
1$
- ha"e some groun's to !elie"e that the untrust%orthy soil of spiritualism is one of the !est areas to
&ulti"ate splits insi'e one8s personality. )part from the a"tomati- 6riting in %hi&h the one %ho as6s
is the same person that gi"es the ans%er; the :e'ium 6no%s in a'"an&e the preferen&es an'
anti&ipations of the person %ho a''resses him. Therefore all !e&omes li6e a &lose' &ir&uit5 +uestion
an' ans%er re"er!erate in an en'less loop li6e the fee'!a&6 of a mi&rophone set ne=t to its lou'
spea6er. )s anyone &an o!ser"e; the messages are al%ays agreea!le. E"ery a'ept; e"en of limite'
intelligen&e; re&ei"es the message that the 7i"ine has assigne' him an important missionP - !elie"e
that this is; psy&hologi&ally spea6ing; "ery 'angerous.
*.
One 'ay he met a self-name' e=pert in o&&ult matters %ho purporte' to
6no% the se&rets of an almost e=tin&t esoteri& path an'; in parti&ular; a spiritual
te&hni+ue far more a'"an&e' than those 6no%n to'ay; %hi&h %as pra&ti&e'
&enturies or millennia ago; !y fe% pri"ilege' !eings. This >e=pert> gui'e' him
s%eetly !ut %ith the surety of a mature professional; to%ar's a situation in %hi&h
his e&onomi& !ase; essential to his li"ing; %as at ris6 of !eing s%ept a%ay;
&ompletely re'u&e' to sham!les. /e easily !e%it&he' him. >No% that humanity
is 'ifferent from !efore; su&h tea&hings are not re"eale' to Iust anyone> he
starte' off; then after a pause an' %ith a sigh; finally &on&lu'e'5 >To'ay8s
stu'ents %oul' not 6no% ho% to appre&iate them an'; in their han's; they &oul'
!e 'angerous.>
The e=pert &reate' the impression of !eing a 'reamer; !ut %as not so
nab"e as it seeme'F he use' an en&hanting terminology similar to that of the
Ka!!alah Bmysti&al tea&hing %ithin #u'aismC an' tal6e' effortlessly a!out
original Christianity also; %hose te=ts B&anoni&al an' apo&ryphalC he %as a!le to
interpret in a non-&on"entional %ay.
:y frien' trie' to &apti"ate the tea&her in or'er to present himself as a
true a'ept. Confi'ing that he %as %illing to a&&ept %hate"er toll an' 'epri"ation;
&onsenting to %hate"er !ehest; pro"i'e' that this e=traor'inary se&ret %ill !e
re"eale' to him; he a&tually fell into the trap. )fter ha"ing e=presse' some
reser"ations; our smart tea&her at long last &apitulate'; murmuring5 >Only for
you; only !e&ause - feel - am g"ided to ma6e an e=&eption>. :y frien'; a poor
"i&tim +ui"ering %ith emotion; li"e' the !est moment of his life; &on"in&e' that
the meeting %ith the e=pert ha' !een 'e&i'e' in the higher spheres. The
re+ueste' 'onation to !e gi"en 'uring -nitiation -- unite' to the promise of
6eeping a!solute se&re&y -- %as &onspi&uous; sin&e in that %ay he %oul' &onfirm
the great "alue attri!ute' to that e"ent. The tea&her sai' that the 'onation %oul'
!e transferre' to a mon6 %ho %as helping an orphanage. B-t is a real &lassi&J ...
there is al%ays an orphanage in these stories.C
?hile my frien'; &ompletely satisfie'; %as preparing to re&ei"e su&h an
in&ompara!le gi&t Bhe re&ei"e' the e=planation that it %as a gi&t an' that nothing
&oul' a'e+uately &ompensate the !ene'i&tions that su&h an initiation %oul' !ring
to his lifeC the s&oun'rel 'istra&te'ly 'e&i'e' %hat 6in' of trash-stuff he %as
going to 'emonstrate %ith glaring solemnity. :y frien' re&ei"e' %ith
in'es&ri!a!le emotion; the ne% te&hni+ue an' spent t%o 'ays in sheer fer"or.
Gater; imprisone' in his &himera; he %itnesse' the re6in'ling of his
passion an' the &ome'y repeate'. /e hear' a!out other in&ompara!le "alua!le
>re"elations>. This illusion is; in effe&t; in'omita!le. )fter ha"ing re&ei"e' his
>'rug>; he &ontinue' his ine=ora!le run to%ar' the a!yss. - &annot pre'i&t if; one
'ay; he %ill realize that the te&hni+ues for %hi&h he pai' a fortune ha' !een
ta6en from some !oo6s an' altere'; so he %oul' not to guess their origin.
<e entangle' in esoteri&; magi&; o&&ult rituals; spiritualisti& pra&ti&es... is an
amazingly easy %ay of 'estroying; in a short time; years of genuine spiritual
effortJ
)ll these e=perien&es taught me that the i'ea that Kriya is the art of
*0
manipulating our 3arma an' thus a&&elerate our e"olution &omes from magi&
stu'ies. For this reason sometimes - thin6 that it is %orth%hile to stu'y the story
of the esoteri& mo"ements to fully realize this.
- am &on"in&e' that Kriya is the art of 88&omplete surren'er88 to the 7i"ine
through a t%ofol' pro&ess. First &omes the art of tran+uillizing the Prana in our
!o'y an'; &onse+uently; putting the min' at rest. Then &omes a sin&ere a&t of
surren'er through Contin"o"s Prayer. -n the a!o"e 'es&ri!e' perio' of my life -
!egan to feel myself as a pilgrim in this %orl'; &onsi'ering the state of
Contin"o"s Prayer the shining 'estination of my spiritual "enture.
,2
C/)4TE9 (
A HARD DECISION
The !rea6 in our relationship !e%il'ere' my 3riyaban frien's %ho %ere
naturally affe&tionate to%ar' him. -n time they un'erstoo' the 'eep-seate'
reasons for my 'e&ision an' sho%e' their soli'arity. Gi6e a 'omino effe&t; other
&oor'inators in Europe %ho !arely tolerate' his !a' manners too6 a'"antage of
that episo'e to !rea6 &onta&t %ith him. They %ere fe' up %ith the 'ullness of his
philosophi&al 'is&ourses follo%e' !y s&anty te&hni&al e=planations %hi&h 'i'n8t
+uen&h their 'esire for a goo' un'erstan'ing of Kriya.
The follo%ing months %ere li"e' in a pea&eful an' rela=e' moo'; nothing
to &ompare %ith the restlessness of my pre"iously 'es&ri!e' years. /a"ing
'ismisse' that mean in'i"i'ual from my life; an ener"ating situation en'e'. - no
longer ha' to go here an' there to organize Kriya seminars for himF - ha' !een
relie"e' of the &onstraint of %earing a mas6 of hypo&risy %hile respon'ing to
those %ho &alle' me to get information a!out him.
The +uestion that - %oul' as6 myself in the years to &ome %as %hy - ha'
follo%e' him for so long. Surely - ha' not sa&rifi&e' my 'ignity for the sa6e of
re&ei"ing Kriya informationJ )&tually; all of his te&hni+ues ha' !een re"eale' to
me !y a frien' %ho %as 'is&iple of one of his father8s 'is&iples. The reason for
my !eha"ior %as &on&ern for the 'iffusion of Kriya here in Europe. - appre&iate'
the fa&t that he tra"ele' e=tensi"ely throughout AS) an' Europe to sprea' his
Kriya %ithout &harging a penny for his -nitiations Bsa"e for a free 'onation an' a
fair share of the e=pense for renting the seminar roomC. - &o"ere' all the
ne&essary e=penses to permanently fit out a room in my house %here Kriya
-nitiations seminars &oul' !e hel' 'uring my tea&her8s "isits. :y %illingness to
&ooperate %ith him %as al%ays &onstant in or'er that he &oul' &arry out his tas6.
?hen - sa% that he &ontinue' to tea&h in his rushe'; superfi&ial manner;
ta6ing a'"antage of us as if %e %ere &omplete i'iots; my su!&ons&ious !egan to
re!el. - "i"i'ly remem!er a 'ream in %hi&h - %as s%imming in manure. - must
a'mit that !ehin' my mas6 of fa6e 'elight hi' a 'ry agony. There ha' !een
moments in %hi&h; thin6ing of my mee6 !eginning in the pra&ti&e of Yoga; my
heart felt an in'efinite nostalgia for the pea&e of that initial perio'; a pea&e %hi&h
%as %aiting for nothing more than &onsisten&y an' honesty on my part to rise
again an' !lossom unimpe'e'. On more than one o&&asion - ha' the impulse to
a!an'on e"erything an' se"er any &onne&tion %ith him; !ut - 'i'n8t %ant to
'istur! the pea&e of all the people %ho %ere my frien's an' %ho ha' follo%e'
me in this a'"enture. Only %hen - re&ei"e' his ru'e an' improper ans%er to my
legitimate re+uest for &larifi&ation an' realize' that my internal truth %as at
sta6e; - sai' to myself E No% or ne"erJ
)fter the !rea6 %ith this tea&her there %ere reasons to &ele!rate !ut the sense of
all the time %aste'; of all the silly things %hi&h ha' !een &arrie' out
thoughtlessly; %as %eighing me 'o%n.
- ha' not e"en a faint i'ea of the 'estiny of the re&ently forme' Kriya
groups; up until then regularly "isite' !y that Kriya tea&her.
,1
Some months later the %heel of goo' fortune seeme' to !e turning againF
there %as the possi!ility of in"iting a ne% Kriya A-harya to Europe. Sin&e he
%as %ell +ualifie' in his role; - %as on the "erge of &ooperating in this proIe&t
an' !earing part of its &ost. ) 'ear frien' %ent to -n'ia to meet him for a pri"ate
inter"ie%.
:he strength o& a dream
-t %as %inter. One 'ay - %ent s6iing in the near!y mountains %ith a &ouple of
frien's. )ll %ent magnifi&ently. 7uring a !rea6 in the afternoon; - manage' to
fin' time alone. - foun' myself loo6ing at the mountains that mar6e' the
!oun'aries of the 'istant horizon in all 'ire&tions. -n less than half an hour the
sun %oul' paint them pin6 E %ith an intense hue on their eastern si'e an' tinge'
%ith !lue on the %estern si'e. - imagine' -n'ia to !e right !ehin' them; the
/imalayas !eing their &ontinuation. :y thought %ent to all the Kriya enthusiasts
%ho foun'; as - 'i'; insurmounta!le o!sta&les to the un'erstan'ing of that
!elo"e' 'is&ipline. )ll those o!sta&les seeme' to me an a!sur'ity that %ore the
&lothes of a nightmare E - felt an infinite re!ellion.
- "isualize' a !oo6 on Kriya e=plaining e"ery te&hni+ue in great 'etail.
/o% often ha' - %on'ere' %hat %oul' ha"e happene' if Gahiri :ahasaya or one
of his 'is&iples ha' %ritten itJ :y imagination le' me to fantasize a!out its
&o"er; to s6im its fe% pages E so!er; yet ri&h in &ontent. -f this !oo6 e=iste'; %e
%oul' ha"e a relia!le manual of Kriya that restraine' the many small or large
"ariations ma'e up !y "arious tea&hers. 4erhaps some annotator %oul' try to
for&e its meaning into his o%n theories. Nay; - %as positi"e that some pseu'o-
g"r" %oul' say that the te&hni+ues 'es&ri!e' in it %ere for !eginners only; %hile
there %ere mu&h more &ompli&ate' te&hni+ues that &oul' only !e passe' on !y
an authorize' tea&her to &hosen 'is&iples. Some %oul' s%allo% the !ait; &onta&t
the author; an' pay goo' money to !e intro'u&e' to ru!!ish that he ha'
assem!le' either through fan&y or !orro%e' from some esoteri& !oo6...
This happensF itDs part of our human nature. /o%e"er; sin&ere resear&hers
%oul' surely !e a!le to re&ognize the strength an' self-suffi&ient intrinsi&
e"i'en&e of the original te=t.
-t is a shame that no one ha' %ritten that !oo6J For the first time - 'are' to
let my thoughts stray to%ar' %hat &oul' happen if - %rote it. -t %oul' !e har';
yet possi!le; to summarize the totality of my 6no%le'ge of Kriya into a !oo6 E
%el'ing together te&hni+ues an' theories through a &lean; rational "ision. The
intention %as 'efinitely not to &ele!rate myself or lay the foun'ations for yet
another ne% s&hool of Kriya. -f - %ere to 'es&ri!e my e=perien&es; it %oul' only
!e for the purpose of &larifying theoreti& an' te&hni&al e=planations. There
%oul' !e no more rhetori&al &laims of legitima&y an' ri''le-li6e senten&es to
&onfuse rea'ers or ha"e them guess at te&hni&al 'etails or &reate further 'ou!ts in
themJ /o% !eautiful it %as to 'ream of a !oo6 %hi&h %oul' pro"e its "ali'ity !y
repro'u&ing Gahiri :ahasaya8s thought in the simplest an' most logi&al %ay; in a
&omplete; harmonious set of te&hni+uesJ
,2
) !oo6 'e"ote' to Kriya; unpretentious !ut &lear; similar for &ertain
aspe&ts to T. <ernar'8s Hatha Yoga< :he ,eport o& a Personal ;xperien-e %oul'
!e a real !lessing for s&holars an' resear&hers.
1(

Su&h a !oo6 as - imagine' %oul' not !e a threat to any honest Kriya
A-harya2s a&ti"ity% 3oo' tea&hers %ill al%ays !e nee'e' in any fiel' %here a
s6ill is to !e transmitte'. <ut ho% &oul' one highlight this to them; %ithout !eing
at o''s %ith the 'eeply-roote' &on'itioning of their >&ere!ral &hemistry>@ Of
&ourse; some tea&hers of Kriya E those %ho li"e from 'onations for rituals of
initiation an' %ho e=ert po%er o"er people than6s to the ple'ge of se&re&y E
%oul' &onsi'er my !oo6 a real threat. :ay!e %hat %as "irtually eternal for them
Bli"ing li6e a lor'; surroun'e' !y people %ho ha"e to meet all their nee's %ith
the hope of getting the &rum!s of their >se&rets>C might &hange; an' they %oul'
!e fearful of that. They %oul' try to 'estroy its &re'i!ility !y means of pitiless
&ensorship. - anti&ipate' their s&ornful &omments; uttere' %hile s6imming its
pages; >-t &ontains only stories that ha"e nothing to 'o %ith <a!aIi8s an' Gahiri
:ahasaya8s tea&hings. -t sprea's a false tea&hingJ> Other people might not li6e
the !oo6; either !e&ause they are ta6en a!a&6 !y the !arrenness of 'es&riptions of
te&hni+ues 'epri"e' of frills; %hi&h 'oesn8t mat&h their e=pe&tations; or !e&ause
they 'o not manage to get 88goo' "i!rations88 from it.
Only those %ho lo"e Kriya more than their %hims %oul' feel an
enormous relief in fin'ing it in an esoteri& li!rary. - %as alrea'y sensing their
happiness. Than6s to them; the !oo6 %oul' &ontinue to &ir&ulate; an' %ho 6no%s
ho% many times it %oul' e&ho !a&6 to the tea&her %ho ha' 'e&ree' its
unforgi"a!le fla%s. )t times he %oul' ha"e to preten' not to noti&e that a stu'ent
%as !ro%sing through its pages 'uring his seminars; thus missing a part of the
&onferen&eP
<y staring into the !lue of the s6y a!o"e the gil'e' mountain !rims; - sa%
that !izarre situation as poignantly real. Ea&h part of my 'ream ha' 'e"elope' in
the spa&e of a fe% se&on's; an' in"a'e' my &ons&iousness as a s%ollen torrent;
as if e"ery part of it ha' alrea'y !een rehearse' an' &herishe' innumera!le
times.
<ut ho% &oul' - fin' the &ourage to "iolate the "o% of se&re&y; &oarsely
&hallenging the sa&re'ness of the G"r"@'is&iple relationship as the only %ay to
!e instru&te' in Kriya@ For sure; an innumera!le amount of times - ha' thought5
>Su&h a rule is the &ause of 'isastrous effe&ts; of e=&ru&iating &onfli&ts an'
sufferingsF they say it is sa&re'; !ut it &annot !e E it is a human pro'u&t; the
out&ome of 'eli!erate petty &al&ulations.> - ha' no 'ou!ts that se&re&y regar'ing
Kriya pro&e'ures %as !lin' 'ogma; insensiti"e to the suffering of many
resear&hers. - re&alle' %hat happene' many; many times %hen some frien's of
mine %ho 'i'n8t un'erstan' English as6e' to re&ei"e initiation into the Higher
Kriyas Bsu&h instru&tion %as gi"en only in %ritten form to those %ho ha'
1(
This e=traor'inary han'!oo6; !etter than all the others; &larifies the tea&hings &ontaine' in the three
fun'amental te=ts of Tantrism5 Hatha Yoga Pradipi3a, Gheranda #amhita and #hi$a #amhita. 7espite
ha"ing !een pu!lishe' many years ago an' se"eral te=ts of Hatha Yoga appearing re&ently; that !oo6
is still one of the !est. Ol'; 8'usty8 te&hni+ues on&e again !e&ame rele"ant; feasi!le; &omprehen'i!le
in front of the eyes of our intuition.
,
&omplete' the stu'y of the &omplete set of lessons %hi&h e=iste' only in English;
3erman an' SpanishCF the ans%er %as al%ays an infle=i!le no. - ha' al%ays
per&ei"e' this as a &ruel form of 'is&rimination.
- remem!ere' a &ouple of &ases in %hi&h the rigi' inIun&tion ha' !een
!ro6en !y &ommon sense. 4eople %ho %ere other%ise faithful to the
organization ha'; un'er e=&eptional &on'itions; !ro6en that rule. For e=ample;
one 3riyaban e=plaine' the 'ynami&s of Kriya Pranayama to his mother %ho
%as an in"ali' !ut %illing an' a!le to pra&ti&e it. -n another &ase that ma'e me
uneasy; a Catholi& priest sin&erely 'esire' to learn Kriya !ut &oul' not re&ei"e it
from the right &hannels !e&ause of an issue of &ons&ien&e regar'ing the a&t of
signing the appli&ation form of the lessonsF he foun' a 3riyaban %ho e=plaine'
the te&hni+ue to him an' share' %ith him his lessons Ban a&tion he %as stri&tly
for!i''en to 'oC.
/o%e"er; it %as &lear that %riting a !oo6 %as another thing entirely. This
"ery i'ea &reate' a painful grip in my !reast along %ith a general sense of
uneasiness an' unreality. - un'erstoo' that in or'er to !e at pea&e %ith myself; -
ha' to first analyze in 'epth the &on&ept of G"r".
Certainly the G"r" &annot !e &onsi'ere' i'enti&al to 3o'. Gahiri
:ahasaya refuse' to !e %orshipe' as a 3o'. This is a point that some of his
follo%ers seem to ha"e forgotten. )&tually he sai'5 >- am not the G"r"; - 'on8t
maintain a !arrier !et%een the true G"r" Bthe 7i"ineC an' the 'is&iple>. /e
a''e' he %ante' to !e &onsi'ere' as >a mirror.> -n other %or's; ea&h 3riyaban
shoul' see him not as an unrea&ha!le i'eal !ut as the personifi&ation of all the
%is'om an' spiritual realization %hi&h; in 'ue time; the Kriya pra&ti&e %ill
pro'u&e. ?hen 3riyabans realize that their G"r" is the personifi&ation of %hat
resi'es potentially insi'e themsel"es; of %hat one 'ay they %ill !e&ome; then
that mirror must !e >thro%n a%ay.>
1*

Some years pre"ious - %as perple=e' %hen representati"es of 4.Y.8s
organization suggeste' that G"r" an' 3o' %ere one an' the same reality. ) &hief
of the most important -talian !ran&h of my s&hool ha' on&e instru&te' me5 >/a"e
you not realize' that 4.Y. is the 7i"ine :other /erself@> Only no% - %as a!le to
see ho% e=traneous this tea&hing %as to my un'erstan'ing.
From the !elief that G"r" an' 3o' are one an' the same reality &omes the i'ea
that the organization foun'e' !y the G"r" !e not Iust an institution 'e"ote' to
sprea'ing his tea&hings !ut !e the sole interme'iary !et%een 3o' an' those %ho
%ant to progress spiritually through Kriya Yoga. Sin&e Kriya learne' outsi'e the
organization has no "alue; the 'ogma of se&re&y ensues o!"iously. The myth of
se&re&y allo%s the myth of the irrepla&ea!le role of the organization to !e 6ept
ali"e. -t is strange to remar6 that only in the %orl' of initiati- magi- is a metho'
1*
?hether one li6es it or not; that is e=a&tly %hat /e %rote5 thro6n a6ay. 4eople %ho ha"e !een
raise' %ith the usual 'ogmas a!out the G"r"-'is&iple relationship are pre"ente' from fully
un'erstan'ing the impa&t of these %or's; other%ise they %oul' fa&e a strong &onfli&t %ithin
themsel"es. To fa&e the truth; it ta6es &ourage an' an intelligent; 'is&riminating approa&h to a!an'on
one8s o%n illusions; espe&ially those that are ni&e an' gratifying. <esi'es &ourage; it ta6es also a goo'
!rain &apa!le of o"er&oming the ten'en&y to !e easily s%aye'.
,$
'epri"e' of its "alue if it is learne' in non-&on"entional %ays. The threat of
possi!le &alamities that %oul' happen to %hoe"er infringes the 'ogma of se&re&y
&lashes %ith e"erything %e rea' in the !iographies of the saintsF it instea'
perfe&tly suits those of the esoteri&-magi& 'imension of &ertain so&ieties E rather;
se&re&y is essential to their preser"ation.
Other Iustifi&ations for the myth of se&re&y appear fragile. They &laim that
se&re&y helps >to maintain the purity of the tea&hings.> No% that - 6ne% that
some minor !ut important alterations in the pra&ti&e of Kriya %ere supporte' !y
these organizations; it %oul' !e !etter to affirm; >to maintain the purity of the
mo'ifi&ationsJ> - might !e %rong; !ut - feel that the uni+ue !enefit of se&re&y to
an in'i"i'ual is to ha"e one8s pleasure of possessing something e=&lusi"e rea&h a
fe"er pit&h.
Some 3riyabans often tell me that the spiritual "i!rations re&ei"e' through
-nitiation !y authorize' Tea&hers ha"e lifte' their pra&ti&e to a >higher o&ta"e.> -
%on8t 'are to &ontra'i&t similar affirmations !ase'; in my opinion; upon
suggestion. Yet; - %oul' li6e to meet; one 'ay; one of those 3riyabans %ho;
after !eing initiate' through legitimate &hannels; 'ismisse' the pra&ti&e. There
are so many; so many that you %ill har'ly !elie"e. They ha"e thro%n !a&6 the
pra&ti&e of Kriya as if it %ere a nightmare from %hi&h they feel relie"e'.
Kriya as6s for serious &ommitment an' %ill al%ays remain a matter for fe%.
?ell; - %oul' as6 them ho% it happene' that they fell from that >higher o&ta"e>
'o%n into a lu&i' an' mer&iless 'isen&hantment.
Get me no% return to the &onfli&tual refle&tions in those 'ays. ) %eir' thing %as
that the %or' G"r" %as attri!ute' to a person %hom the 'is&iples ha' not 6no%n
'ire&tly. Stu'ents %ere re+uire' to s%ear their e"erlasting 'e"otion not only to
one person !ut also to a &hain of :asters Bno one 'ire&tly a&&essi!le to
3riyabansC e"en if only one of them ha' to !e regar'e' as the G"r"-pre&eptor. 88-t
is the G"r"-pre&eptor that intro'u&es you to 3o'. There is no other %ay to
a&hie"e Self-realization.88 On&e the stu'ents %ere initiate' into a spiritual
'is&ipline !y the >legitimate &hannels> Bauthorize' 'is&iplesC; the 'eparte' G"r"
%as sai' to !e real an' present in their life. They %ere taught that their G"r"
%oul' someho% !urn a part of their Karma an' prote&t them e"ermoreF he %as a
spe&ial ai' &hosen !y 3o' /imself e"en !efore they !egan to see6 the spiritual
path.
:y thoughts !egan to re"ol"e again aroun' the 'iffusion of Kriya. -t %as "ery
'iffi&ult to put all the &ru&ial points into a logi&al or'er. - trie' to thin6
se+uentially !ut either mental an' physi&al fatigue %as impairing my reasoning
a!ility or &on'itioning &ar"e' into my !rain a&te' as an entity %hi&h ha' a life of
its o%n. Ea&h time - trie' to organize my "ision into a %ell-integrate' an'
&oherent %hole; for one reason or another it appeare' to me as a monstrosity.
One e"ening; %hile - pra&ti&e' Kriya Pranayama %ith my a%areness
totally &entere' in #ahasrara an' the tongue in Ke-hari "dra; - ha' the inner
"ision of three !eautiful mountains. The &entral mountain; the highest; %as
!la&6F its form remin'e' me of the point of an arro% ma'e of o!si'ian. :y heart
,(
e=ulte'; - %as ma'ly enamore' of that image. - foun' myself &rying for Ioy. -
remaine' as &alm as possi!le as - felt a parti&ular strength an' pressure %hi&h
in&rease' its tightening of the %hole region of my &hest %ith its grip of !eatitu'e.
The image %as strong; tremen'ously "i"i' in my inner "ision. There &oul' !e
nothing more !eautifulF it ma'e me ma' %ith lo"e. - ha' the impression of
ha"ing &ast a glan&e to%ar' the misty sour&es from %hi&h my &urrent tren' of
life originate'. -t %as as if an inner threa' lin6e' all my past a&tions to that
image; re&ei"ing meaning an' signifi&an&e from it.
That mountain %as the sym!ol of the uni"ersal spiritual path. -t spo6e to
my intuition5 >) G"r" might !e "ery important to your spiritual 'e"elopment;
!ut your personal effort %hen you remain alone is far more important. -n any
G"r"-'is&iple relationship there &omes a moment %hen you remain alone an'
a%a6en to the realization that your path is a solitary flight !et%een you an' your
in'%elling Self. The G"r"-'is&iple relationship is an illusion E useful an'
&omforta!le E appearing real until you are not o"er&ome !y %hat surpasses your
min'.>
That glaring intuition fa'e' a%ay after a &ouple of 'ays. One e"ening after
a long %al6; su!'ue' !y a su''en tire'ness - 'ragge' myself !a&6 home. ?orn
out !y thoughts; the pro!lem of the G"r"-'is&iple relationship emerge';
o!s&urely; more as a %oun' than as a theory unfol'ing its myths. -n my room -
set the re&or' player on >repeat>; playing <eetho"en8s se&on' mo"ement of the
;mperor Con-erto... 7i' anyone; after ha"ing haunte' all the possi!le
&eremonies of -nitiation gi"en !y the >legitimate> &hannels; an' !eing stuffe'
%ith all the possi!le G"r"2s !lessings; e"er pra&ti&e Kriya %ith the same 'ignity
an' &ourage %ith %hi&h <eetho"en &hallenge' his fate@
- turne' 'o%n the lights an' %at&he' the sun set !ehin' the trees on the
top of a hill. The shape of a &ypress &o"ere' a part of that great; !loo'-re' &ir&le.
That %as the eternal !eautyJ That %as the mo'el !y %hi&h - %oul' !e inspire'. -
&lose' my eyes to ha"e a 'ispassionate; unemotional assessment of the situation.
) strange image &apture' my attention5 that of 1i"e6anan'a8s >in"estiture> !y his
G"r" 9ama6rishna. - rea' that one 'ay to%ar' the en' of his life 9ama6rishna
entere' #amadhi %hile his 'is&iple 1i"e6anan'a %as near him. 1i"e6anan'a
starte' to feel a strong &urrent !efore fainting. /a"ing returne' to &ons&iousness;
his G"r" &rie' an' %hispere'5 >O my Naren B1i"e6anan'aC; e"erything - ha' -
ga"e to you; to'ay. - ha"e !e&ome a poor fa6ir; - 'o not ha"e anythingF %ith
these po%ers you %ill 'o the %orl' an immense goo'.> Gater; 9ama6rishna
e=plaine' that the po%ers he passe' onto him &oul' not !e use' for his o%n
spiritual fulfillment E one ha' to get to that !y himselfF on the &ontrary; they
%oul' help him in his mission as a spiritual tea&her.
- thin6 my su!&ons&ious &ame up %ith su&h a flash as a %arning not to
yiel' to the temptation to thro% a%ay something "ali' an' pre&ious. No%; if %e
say that 9ama6rishna %as 1i"e6anan'a8s G"r"; %e are saying something tr"e
and "nA"estionable%
-t &ame to me spontaneously to rerea' the memora!le impressi"e
'is&ourse !y 7ostoe"s6y a!out the role of el'ers in 9ussian monasteries in his
:he Brothers Karama4o$5
,*
>?hat %as su&h an el'er@ )n el'er %as one %ho too6 your soul; your %ill; into
his soul an' his %ill. ?hen you &hoose an el'er; you renoun&e your o%n %ill
an' yiel' it to him in &omplete su!mission; &omplete self-a!negation. This
no"itiate; this terri!le s&hool of a!negation; is un'erta6en "oluntarily; in the
hope of self-&on+uest; of self-mastery; in or'er; after a life of o!e'ien&e; to attain
perfe&t free'om; that is; from selfF to es&ape the lot of those %ho ha"e li"e' their
%hole life %ithout fin'ing their true sel"es in themsel"es.> BTranslate' !y
Constan&e 3arnettC
E"entually the a%areness 'a%ne' on me that 1i"e6anan'a8s story an'
7ostoe"s6y8s e=tra&t 'epi&te' situations %hi&h %ere intrinsi&ally 'ifferent from
mine. The organization ha' ma'e me !elie"e - ha' a G"r" ? %hereas in fa&t; -
%as light years a%ay from ha"ing one. ?hile the great e=amples of G"r"@
'is&iple relationship %ere !ase' on a real physi&al meeting !et%een t%o persons;
my relationship %as purely i'eal. There %as no other G"r" !y %hi&h - &oul'
mirror myself !ut the mysti& fire !urning in my heart.
Shoul' - a&&ept the i'ea of a mar6e' separation of spiritual resear&hers
into t%o &lasses@ On one si'e; there are those %ho ha"e a G"r" an' follo% him
hum!lyF on the other si'e; those %ithout a G"r", %ho &an follo% only their o%n
intuition an' reasoning. /o% many times ha"e - hear' the a&i'i& remar6 that
those %ho ha"e no G"r" ha"e their Ego as their G"r"J Yet; there is not su&h a
sharp 'i"ision; !e&ause not a single resear&her e=ists %ho is really alone.
1isualize a net5 ea&h in'i"i'ual is a Iun&tion from %hi&h a lot of threa's
fan out; li6e the net%or6 of our !rain8s neurons. ?hen an in'i"i'ual ta6es an
a&tion E a signifi&ant one of &ourse; li6e starting on a mysti& path an' ma6ing
goo' progress on it E hisMher a&tion tou&hes the surroun'ing threa's of the net.
Serious pra&titioners are ne"er isolate'F they %ill !e helpe' !y others8 positi"e
response an'; "i&e-"ersa; they %ill !e slo%e' 'o%n !y their in'olen&e an'
apathy. -n my opinion those %ho follo% the spiritual path &arry other people8s
e"olution ahea' %ith them. This net &onne&ting e"ery one of us is the Colle-ti$e
5n-ons-io"s%
1,
:y musings arri"e' Iust to that point an' there they stoppe' E
for months.
A &r"it&"l sho-3
The 3riyaban frien' %ho ha' gone to -n'ia to meet the tea&her %e %ere planning
to in"ite to Europe; returne' home an' &alle' me. /e ha' ha' a pri"ate inter"ie%
%ith him an' ha' goo' ne%s. Some hours later; %e %ere sitting in my room. -
%as all ears. /e %as enthusiasti&. They ha' tal6e' a!out the 'eplora!le situation
of the 'iffusion of Kriya in the ?estF the tea&her %as sorry for that an'
1,
To Freu' the An&ons&ious %as similar to a 'epot full of ol' >remo"e'> things that %e &annot re&all to
&ons&iousness - refuse' !y a nearly automati& a&t of the %ill. #ung 'is&o"ere' a 'eeper le"el of it5 the
Colle&ti"e An&ons&ious %hi&h lin6s all human !eings !y the 'eepest layers of their psy&he. The
Colle&ti"e An&ons&ious is >inherite' %ith our &ere!ral stru&ture> an' &onsists of >the human systems
of rea&ting> to the most intense e"ents that &an happen in one8s lifetime5 the !irth of a &hil'; marriage;
'eath of a lo"e' one; serious illness; family &risis; true lo"e; natural 'isasters; %ar...
,,
manifeste' his %illingness to help us. )t the en' of that meeting; my frien' ha'
his Kriya Pranayama &he&6e' !y that e=pert.
:u&h to my surprise this frien' as6e' me to pra&ti&e Kriya Pranayama in
front of him; an' then remar6e' that there %as a fault in my pra&ti&e. - as6e' him
%hat it %as an' his reply literally froze me5 he &oul' not tell me; sin&e he ha'
promise' the tea&her he %oul' not re"eal anything.
1.
/e &larifie' that in relation
to our group; he ha' in'ee' as6e' for his tea&her8s permission to &orre&t e"entual
mista6es in our pra&ti&e !ut the ans%er ha' !een negati"e an' the tea&her s%ore
him to se&re&y. ?as this tea&her E %ho ha' manifeste' the intention to help us E
&on&erne' that %e %oul' not fin' any nee' to in"ite him to Europe; or "isit him;
after our mista6e ha' !een &orre&te'@ ?as he really so petty an' un6in'@ - 'i'
not put pressure on my frien' to 'is&lose other 'etails a!out his tal6 %ith the
tea&her. - &oul' not an' %oul' not enter the pri"a&y of his e=perien&e; !ut ho%
&oul' he Iust let me an' our group go on %ith an in&orre&t pra&ti&e@
The shattering part %as to see a frien' %ith %hom - ha' share' e"erything
along my spiritual path; a&&ompanying me in my "entures %ith all my pre"ious
tea&hers an' suffering the same %oes; satisfie' only %ith ha"ing noti&e' my
mista6e. -t %as as if this Iustifie' his trip to -n'ia; the &ost; an' the time he spent
on this "enture. - 'i'n8t start +uarreling; !ut - rea&te' "ery !a'ly. - got up an'
left; lea"ing the frien' alone.
Some 'ays later; &onta&te' !y the tea&her8s se&retary; - %as further
'isguste' !y ho% she han'le' the finan&ial si'e of the tour. - 'e&line' the offer.
)&tually - %as not in the moo' to un'erta6e the enormous %or6 of organizing.
)s for the i'ea of "isiting him; nothing &oul' !e farther from my min'. - %as
&ertain that he %oul' ha"e re+uire' of me the &ustomary oath of se&re&y. On&e
returne' to my frien's; %hat %oul' - ha"e ha' to tell them@ 887ear frien's; - &an
tell nothing; you too must go to -n'ia.88 ?e ha' rea&he' an a!sur' situation5 if the
frien's in my group %ante' one more &rum! of information regar'ing the Kriya
pra&ti&e; they %oul' ha"e to !e put on a plane an' pa&6e' off to -n'ia.
Other%ise; they %oul' 'ie %ithout this information.
-f the e"ents %oul' ta6e pla&e in this %ay; ea&h year an innumera!le series
of &harter flights %oul' transport all those intereste' in Kriya E no matter if ol'
or ill E to a remote -n'ian "illage; li6e a pilgrimage to Gour'es or FatimaJ The
far&e %as not e"en %orthy of !eing &onsi'ere'.
?ith my thin6ing fa&ulties almost paralyze' !y this su''en turn of e"ents;
- &leane' up the &ompilation of my notes a!out 'ifferent Kriya te&hni+ues Iotte'
'o%n 'uring 'ifferent seminars; an' passe' them on to frien's %ho ha' alrea'y
re&ei"e' initiation !ut not to all le"els of Kriya. - pur&hase' a &omputer an'; li6e
a "oluntary prisoner; - re'u&e' my so&ial life to an a!solute minimum in or'er to
gi"e my all to %riting the !oo6.
-t %as not easy to e=tra&t the essential &ore of Kriya Yoga from the huge piles of
notes &olle&te' 'uring years %ith 'ifferent tea&hers. There %as the feeling of
%or6ing on a 'iffi&ult puzzle; %ithout a pre"ie% of %hat %as to !e o!taine' in
1.
Consi'ering the episo'e later; - realize' %hat this in&orre&t 'etail %as5 - ha' not ma'e an a!'ominal
!reath in a parti&ularly "isi!le %ay. - am sure of this fa&t !e&ause it %as the only thing my frien' %as
a!le to see E %e 'i' not tal6 a!out inner 'etails of the pra&ti&e.
,.
the en'. - 'i'n8t 6no% if; in the final &omplete' pi&ture; four; si= or more le"els
of Kriya %oul' result. -n fa&t; - %as not entirely sure ho% to 'efine the le"els of
Kriya Yoga. - %on'ere' if there &oul' !e en"isage' a one-to-one &orrespon'en&e
!et%een le"els an' 6nots Bthe internal 6nots or Grantis mentione' in Yoga
tra'itionC to !e unfastene'. Ge"el 1 &oul' !e 'efine' as the pro&ess of
unfastening the 6not of the tongue; le"el 2 &oul' !e 'efine' as the pro&ess of
unfastening another 6not; for e=ample that of the heart an' so on ... -n other
%or's - '%elt upon the i'ea that ea&h le"el %as meant to unfasten one an' only
one 6not.
)fter o"er&oming the un&ertainties an' 'iffi&ulties of &hoosing a 'efinite
s&heme; - 'e&i'e' to 'es&ri!e the Kriya system as ma'e of 7irst Kriya %ith eight
te&hni+ues; follo%e' !y fi"e Higher Kriyas ? &alle' .m3ar Kriyas or Kriyas of
#thir Bstati&C Prana% )ltogether %e ha"e si= steps.
- %rote all - 6ne% a!out the Kriya te&hni+ues. Some "ariations remain in
my shorthan' note!oo6s; rea'y to !e a''e' to the !oo6 if an' %hen - re&ei"e
ne% information &orro!orating them an' sho%ing their intrinsi& "alue in light of
Gahiri :ahasaya8s lega&y.
- o&&asionally &onsulte' a fe% Forums for 'e"otees of Kriya Yoga. :y 'esire
%as to see if other 3riyabans ha' similar pro!lems. :any %ere see6ing
information a!out Ke-hari "dra. -f - ha' ha' their email a''resses; - %oul'
ha"e imme'iately sent them the instru&tions.
- %as stru&6 !y the pe'anti& an' &on&eite' tone of some Forum users that
a!use' genuine an' honest &uriosity. ?ith fa&etious ten'erness !etraying their
lo% form of &on&ern; they la!ele' the see6ers8 'esire to 'eepen their Kriya
pra&ti&e as a >'angerous mania.> They ha' the au'a&ity to hush the hum!le
stu'ent !y &ounseling him to impro"e the 'epth of %hat he ha' alrea'y re&ei"e'.
They spo6e in the same tone use' !y my ol' >:inisters>. )lthough - %as myself
feeling aeons 'istant from that %orl'; o!Ie&ti"ely spea6ing that perio' of my life
%as not so far a%ay. 4erhaps it %as !e&ause those ol' fogeys 'i' not generate
any feeling of 'eferen&e in me that - felt so great a temporal 'istan&e. )&tually
they %ere my yester'ay8s %orl'.
- %on'ere' ho% those Forum users 'are' to enter Bunin"ite'C a person8s
life an' personal spa&e; a!out %hom they 6ne% nothing; treating them as
in&ompetent an' superfi&ial !eginnersJ ?as it so 'iffi&ult to simply ans%er
truthfully5 >- 'on8t ha"e that information>@
- remem!er a 'is&ussion %ith one %ho &laime' he ha' a&&ess to the
original Kriya. Anfortunately; that person %as "ery se&reti"e an' e=&lusi"e. /e
sai' there %ere a num!er of true Kriya tea&hers aroun' !ut %as un%illing to
share any names or a''resses. - foun' this stupi'. -n a rush of anger; - imagine'
that the petty i'ea of possessing se&ret 6no%le'ge an' not &on"eying it to others
%as the only thing 6eeping the pie&es of his s&attere' min' together;
&amouflaging B%ith a sem!lan&e of spiritual a'"an&ementC the nothingness that
he %as from a human point of "ie%. ?hy shoul' Kriya !elong to him@ Kriya is a
&olle&tion of introspe&ti"e tools ta6en from 'ifferent tra'itions. -t is a!sur' to
&laim they !elong to one person Bespe&ially su&h a nasty oneC.
,0
The time - employe' in %riting the !oo6 ha' !een mu&h longer than e=pe&te'.
Frien's sai' - %oul' ne"er finish it. - ha' not felt any urgen&y; - enIoye' that
+uiet moment of my life; e=perien&ing the &almness an' &ontente'ness that
&omes to those %ho 'e"ote all their efforts to a single purpose. )t long last; the
!oo6 %as rea'y an' %as poste' on the ?e!.
)fter a &ouple of months there %as a rea&tion from my former thir'
tea&her. 7uring a seminar he e=plaine' my a&tions as those of one %ho %ants to
ma6e a !usiness of Kriya. /e 'efine' me an >intelle&tual prostitute.> :y rea&tion
%as amusement an' satisfa&tion. <ut that night - &oul' not sleep. Only then 'i' -
!egin to realize that my longtime intention ha' !een a&&omplishe' an' that
finally there %as a Kriya !oo6 rea'ily a&&essi!le to e"eryone.
)as entstanden ist, das m"0
$ergehen+
)as $ergangen, a"&erstehen+
H/r a"& 4" beben+
Bereite di-h 4" leben+
3usta" :ahler B1.*2-1011C
?hat %as &reate'; must perishJ
?hat perishe'; must rise againJ
Cease from trem!lingJ
4repare yourself to li"eJ
.2