Every Man Jack

By
DY Menna
May 2009 Salem, OR
INT. TATUMS HOUSE - DAY
VALENTINE, "curvy" on the best of days and chubby on most,
short brown hair and pretty face, later-20s, enters to find
her boyfriend TATUM, edgy, later-20s, kissing his younger,
hot, skinny blonde ex-girlfriend JENNA. She narrows her
eyes.
VALENTINE
If this is a bad time, I can just
come back later.
Valentine immediately turns and leaves, as Tatum looks at
her with surprise and immediate regret and Jenna laughs.
INT. MAX HOUSE - NIGHT
LIZ, not the prettiest of girls, in her mid-20s and hair
the color of carrots, lies on top of her half naked
boyfriend, MAX, in his later-20s, lean and handsome in a
boyish way. She stops mid action and in her drunkenness her
words are slurred -
LIZ
I want to have a baby.
MAX
Youre kinda drunk.
LIZ
Yes, so?
MAX
Come on, can we please just keep
going?
LIZ
Okay, but I wont forget Max.
MAX
(not convinced)Okay.
EXT. OVERLOOK - NIGHT
Valentine sits on the top of her car overlooking the city,
drinking from a glass cola bottle, listening to The Cures
"Underneath the Stars" from her car stereo. She drinks the
last drop from the bottle and sets it down on the ground,
kicking it as hard as she can and shattering it as she walks
into her car.
2.
EXT. PUBLIC LIBRARY - NIGHT
Tatum sits on the curb in front of the closed public
library, contemplating life. His best friend BO, in his
later 20s, wearing his customary large bear costume, bear
head in his hands, sits on the curb next to him.
BO
Its so cold out here my little
bear balls are freezing. Why the
library? You dont read.
INT. MAX HOUSE - GARAGE - NIGHT
We see Max sitting in his dark garage, the light from the
stereo illuminating his face as he listens to The Cures
"Underneath the Stars."
INT. THEATER - DAY
Valentine watches JESS, mid-20s, short, eccentric and cute
apply makeup to an actress backstage. Actors and actresses
move around, practicing lines and chatting among each other.
Stage hands hammer and saw away and the lighting crew messes
around with the lighting track.
The chief crew light and stage leader HANK, a very oversized
man in his 40s, stands on a ladder trying to hammer a piece
of the set together. ACTOR 1, reading his script and not
watching where he is going, walks close to the ladder, about
to run into it. He stops just short of running straight into
it and looks up, screeching himself to a halt.
HANK
Idiot, watch where you are going.
Actor 1 mumbles to himself as he walks away. Hank moves to
step down and falls off the ladder, making a hard thud where
he falls.
Valentine freezes and all activity in the area stops. Hank
groans.
JESS
(laughing) No way.
VALENTINE
(non nonchalantly) Someone call
911.
Jess continues to laugh. Actors and actresses gather around
him, curious to see.
3.
INT. MR HARRIS OFFICE - DAY
Valentine sits in MR. HARRIS office, the plays producer.
MR HARRIS
Well, we have to find someone else.
VALENTINE
The show is in two days. No one
knows the lighting or music tracks
but the fat man. The scenery isnt
complete either.
MR HARRIS
I know a guy. He owes me a favor
and he lives right here in town.
INT. THEATER - DAY
Max follows Mr. Harris around the theater. He looks at the
shoddy scenery as they pass by and rolls his eyes. They fast
approach a woman laughing and Max knows he has heard it
before. The Cures A Forest begins.
MR HARRIS
This is Max Sawyer. Max Sawyer,
Valentine Masterson.
Max looks at Valentine.
Valentine looks at Max.
He is guarded and noticeably uncertain of her reaction. Her
lip twitches with words left unsaid trying to escape her
mouth. Instead, she says nothing, fully aware of the
discomfort her lack of response is creating.
Max looks over to his right at the elephant in the room, who
stamps his foot and raises his trunk, as if to wave hello.
(An elephant in the room is an English idiom. It is a
problem that everyone knows very well but no one talks about
because it is taboo, embarrassing, etc.)
He looks back at Valentine.
INT. MR HARRIS OFFICE - DAY
Valentine is once again in Mr. Harris office with Max
waiting outside, listening to the conversation.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.
VALENTINE
There is no way in hell, Mr.
Harris, that I will work with Max
Sawyer.
MR HARRIS
Yes, yes you will. He is the best
there is.
VALENTINE
Ill walk.
MR HARRIS
No you wont.
VALENTINE
Damn you!
In continuing and purposeful slow motion, Valentine swings
open the door and Max moves backwards out of the way.
Valentine turns her head in his direction - if looks could
kill he would smolder and die on the spot. And he knows it.
INT. JEWELRY STORE - DAY
Tatum enters a jewelry shop with Bo, still wearing the bear
costume, and their other friend JAY, later 20s and good
looking. They are approached by a Chinese Man, FENG.
FENG
You come return ring?
TATUM
Yeah, she doesnt want it.
FENG
She dont want ring? It pretty
ring!
TATUM
Yeah, well, she doesnt like me.
And she doesnt like the ring.
FENG
You no return ring! You give to
girl. You marry.
TATUM
Girl doesnt want to get married!
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
BO
Let me talk to him, I speak
Chinese. Girl no want ring. We give
you ring, you give money back for
ring.
FENG
Read sign Mr. Bear Man, no return!
He points to a sign that says "No Return!"
TATUM
Your wife told me I could return
it.
Feng calls out in loud Chinese to his wife, NU, who sits on
a chair furiously filing her nails. She responds, high
pitched and angrily.
FENG
No, no. My wife no say that. You
keep ring.
JAY
Kharma.
TATUM
Shut up.
INT. MAX HOUSE - NIGHT
Liz stands up from behind her easel and wipes her paint
brush on her shirt. She walks into the bathroom and picks up
her birth control pills container. She pops out the pill and
flushes it down the toilet. She hears the front door open
and close and she smiles to herself.
INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
Valentine leans against the wall of a small, dark night
club. Hidden by the darkness, she listens to the band on the
small stage play their punk style music.
Max walks in and sees Valentine. He stands next to her and
she doesnt move to acknowledge him.
VALENTINE
Eight years - nothing.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.
MAX
Weve lived here five.
VALENTINE
For the boy who swore he would
never leave southern California.
MAX
Women.
VALENTINE
Not this one.
She walks away into the crowd and Max follows her.
VALENTINE
Your most annoying trait. Just
never when I actually want you to.
Stay Max.
MAX
I want to talk to you.
VALENTINE
What do we have to talk about?
MAX
Everything.
VALENTINE
Nothing.
MAX
You still like the underground
scene?
He points to the band as they continue to play.
VALENTINE
Does a fish still love water?
Max looks at her.
INT. THEATER - DAY
Max hammers away on a piece of scenery that has improved
greatly, obviously since he has started working on the
project, while down below Valentine coaches ACTRESS 1 on how
to stand.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.
VALENTINE
Your shoulders have to be back. I
know it can be tiring, but I can
hear you 100 times better when you
do.
ACTRESS 1
What? 100 chimes butter?
Valentine sighs, trying to control her annoyance while the
hammering in the background increases and the stage lights
begin to flicker and move around rapidly. Max continues
hammering but yells to someone off stage-
MAX
Not that track. Track 3 and 4.
WOMAN (OS)
What track?
MAX
3 and 4!
VALENTINE
Not butter, better!
ACTRESS 1
What?
WOMAN (OS)
What?
VALENTINE
Just stand up straight!
The hammering and confusion rise to an even faster tempo.
MAX
Track 3 and 4!
WOMAN (OS)
What?
VALENTINE
STOP! EVERYONE JUST STOP! STOP THE
DAMN HAMMERING AND TELL THE DAMN
WOMAN WHAT TO DO!
Everyone becomes quiet. The lights stop and Max gets down
from the ladder. He is an easy going guy, but Valentine has
taken it too far.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.
MAX
What is the problem?
VALENTINE
The damn hammering!
MAX
I will ask you to not swear at me,
Valentine. If you want this set
done in time for your show, I will
have to continue hammering.
VALENTINE
Who do you think you are?
MAX
Im the best lighting and set
director in this town. Thats who I
am. And if you want this ridiculous
show to start tomorrow night, you
will let me and my crew do our
jobs.
Valentine is momentarily taken back by the man who now
stands before her, but she quickly regains herself and steps
close to him.
VALENTINE
You will remember, I am the
director of this play, and if it
werent for me, you wouldnt have a
job right now.
MAX
You can never accept defeat, can
you?
VALENTINE
You know me better than that, Max
Sawyer.
They stand at an impasse, close to each others faces.
MAX
You will treat me as a
professional, Valentine Masterson.
And when all of this is said and
done, you can have your words with
me.
9.
INT. MAX HOUSE - DAY
Liz sits at her easel, painting. She stops to take a drink
of wine. Next to her sits a negative pregnancy test which
she grabs and chucks into the nearest garbage can.
INT. TATUMS HOUSE - DAY
Bo, ever dressed in the bear suit and Jay, sit on Tatums
couch.
JAY
Im in love with Valentine.
BO
I know.
Bo takes a handful of Cheetos from a bowl on the table and
eats them with his paw.
INT. MAX HOUSE - GARAGE - DAY
Max sits in the garage on the floor looking at pictures
while The Cures "Pictures of You" plays in the background.
He looks at a picture that says "Worth a Thousand Words"
typewritten across it, and below is Valentine. Liz walks in
and he shoves the pictures back into the box.
LIZ
I know what pictures you are
looking at.
MAX
I havent looked at them in a long
time, Liz. They dont mean
anything.
LIZ
I hope not.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Jenna steps out of her car and adjusts her stockings in that
way that sex kittens always do and walks away. Jess walks
after her and runs her key along the length of her car,
laughing as she walks away.
10.
INT. ART EXHIBIT - NIGHT
The art exhibit is romantically lit and people dressed
nicely and sipping sparkling wine walk around looking at
Lizs displayed artwork. Liz herself walks around, smiling
and greeting people.
Valentine looks at a painting of a collage, reminiscent of
Picassos collage.
Liz approaches her.
LIZ
Hello there.
VALENTINE
I really like this work.
LIZ
This one is my favorite.
VALENTINE
To be honest, I didnt know if I
would like any of your work. But
this one is actually good.
LIZ
I know who you are.
VALENTINE
And I know who you are.
LIZ
Good. Now we no longer have to
wonder.
VALENTINE
Why did you move here?
LIZ
It was better for my work. And Max
followed me.
VALENTINE
Lucky you.
INT. RESTAURANT - BATHROOM - NIGHT
Valentine walks out of the bathroom stall and Liz is the
first to notice that her skirt is tucked into her nylons.
She looks away, considering whether or not she should tell
her. Finally she resolves to do so and grabs her arm.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.
LIZ
Your skirt is tucked into your
panty hose.
For the first time, Valentine shows a twinge of
vulnerability, and Jess comes to her rescue, pulling it out
for her.
JESS
Thats the new style, dont you
know?
Liz, feeling uncomfortable, leaves. Valentine washes her
hands while Jess sits on the counter and puts on bright pink
lipstick.
JESS
Val, screw her. She knows the truth
and it scares her. It would scare
me too.
VALENTINE
You think so?
JESS
Of course.
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Mr Harris and the acting company sit a long table in a fancy
restaurant, eating and chatting animatedly together.
Max watches Valentine sitting next to Tatum and he is
noticeably jealous, an emotion which surprises him.
Tatum tries to hold Valentines hand but she casually moves
it away. She sees Max watching.
VALENTINE
Tatum, this is Max. Max, this is
Tatum, ex-girlfriend kissing,
sometimes boyfriend.
MAX
Uh, nice to meet you.
TATUM
Yeah, you too.
Mr. Harris stands at the head of the table and raises a
glass.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.
MR HARRIS
To Valentine, a great director!
The others raises their glasses.
CROWD
Hear, hear!
MR HARRIS
And to Maxwell, who saved the show!
The crowd cheers again.
MR HARRIS
To an amazing opening night.
Mr Harris sits and resumes his lively conversation. A waiter
approaches the table filling empty glasses with wine.
Liz covers her glass and makes eye contact with Valentine.
She smiles.
LIZ
No wine for me, thank you. Not for
another nine months at least.
Liz turns and smiles at Max who looks pale, like he might
throw up. He looks at Valentine who looks the same.
EXT. PHONE BOOTH - NIGHT
Valentine tears a page out of the phone book and runs out of
the phone booth.
INT. MAX HOUSE - NIGHT
Liz sleeps close to Max who lies awake, looking stressed out
and sick to his stomach. The sound of shattering glass comes
from downstairs and Max jumps to his feet, grabbing a
baseball bat from under their bed.
LIZ
What is it?
MAX
Stay here, Im going to find out.
Max makes his way downstairs and sees a figure dressed in
black trying to pick up the pieces of a broken vase.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.
MAX
Dont move another step or Ill
bash your brains in!
Valentine stands up straight, turning her face to him.
VALENTINE
Max, I have to talk to you - right
now!
MAX
Holy hell Valentine, have you ever
heard of a front door?
VALENTINE
It was locked! Just shut up, I need
to talk to you.
MAX
Its 3 in the morning.
VALENTINE
This cant wait.
LIZ(OS)
Max, whats going on? Do I need to
call 911?
Max looks at Valentine.
MAX
No, its just the neighbors cat. Im
taking it back over there.
LIZ(OS)
The neighbors cat?
MAX
Yeah, go back to bed.
Max grabs Valentine by the arm and takes her -
INT. MAX HOUSE - GARAGE - NIGHT
- into the garage.
MAX
What the hell is going on?
Valentine squares off to him, standing dangerously close.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14.
VALENTINE
You gave me up for the convenience
of having someone close by but I
know you still love me. I see it in
your eyes. You want me as badly as
I want you.
MAX
Shes pregnant, theres nothing I
can do now.
VALENTINE
To hell with the right thing Max!
You can live close to the kid and
still be in its life. You know
what kind of life you live without
me and it sucks.
MAX
I cant.
VALENTINE
You know what the problem was eight
years ago? Neither one of was
willing to fight. Well Im here
tonight Max, and by damn, I am
fighting for you. Let me win this
time, please.
Max looks at her, offering nothing. Valentine turns away,
facing the garage door.
MAX
Ill let you out.
Max presses the garage door opener and the door opens. It is
pouring rain outside. Without turning around, Valentine with
tears in her eyes -
VALENTINE
How terribly cliche.
And she walks out.
EXT. TATUMS HOUSE - DAY
Jenna and Tatum stand together outside. He is holding her
wrists.
TATUM
Not this time, Jenna. I never
wanted it to happen last time.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.
JENNA
You really do love the fat girl?
TATUM
You need to leave.
Jay pulls into the driveway, squealing to a stop and runs
over to them.
JAY
I need to talk to you.
TATUM
Can it wait?
JAY
Im in love with Valentine.
TATUM
What?
JENNA
You have got to be kidding me! What
is wrong with you guys?
Bo walks out of the house, holding the bear head, and
watches as Jenna storms to her car. He walks over to her.
BO
Let me go with you.
JENNA
Are you in love with Valentine too?
BO
Not at all. Youre hot.
JENNA
Fine, get in!
INT. THEATER - DAY
Max and the lighting and set crew, along with Valentine and
some of the actors tear down pieces of the set.
Jess and Valentine stand near each other taking out nails
from a board, laughing and talking.
Max watches Valentine.
Valentine looks over at him and sarcastically smiles, as if
to say "See, Im fine without you."
16.
INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
The night club is packed and the punk band playing is good
and loud. Valentine stands in the middle of the crowd,
feeling the music. Max makes his way through the crowd to
her and grabs her by the shoulders. They talk loud -
MAX
Can I talk to you?
VALENTINE
Go to hell Max! I have nothing more
to say to you - ever.
MAX
I have to say this.
VALENTINE
How about I give you a typical
Maxwell response?
Valentine seals her lips shut and says nothing.
Max grabs her by the arm and hauls her to -
INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
- a lit area of the night club hallway. On the wall is an
old telephone and band stickers plastered everywhere.
Valentine breaks free of his grasp and leans against the
wall, glaring at him. Max stands close to her. Their sweaty
faces are almost touching. The band in the background sings
The Scorpions "Believe in Love."
MAX
Sometimes I dont think you realize
just how amazing you are.
VALENTINE
No, Im not.
MAX
Yeah, you are. I wanted to love Liz
more than you and for awhile I
fooled myself into thinking I did.
VALENTINE
I dont want to hear this.
Valentine pushes him away but he grabs her, pinning her back
against the wall.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.
VALENTINE
You know what, screw you! I cried
for three years over you and I
refuse to cry again. Last night was
the last time you will ever reject
me again! Leave me alone.
MAX
Fine, but you have to know this, I
love you. I was, and still am,
completely head over heels in love
with you.
VALENTINE
Just stop!
Max grabs her face and kisses her.
VALENTINE
You asshole, I would have followed
you anywhere.
MAX
Im so stupid Val.
VALENTINE
Be with me.
Max just looks at her. Valentine pushes him away, angry.
VALENTINE
How can I be so stupid, over and
over again? Really, I must be the
worlds biggest moron! This is the
end of us for eternity Maxwell.
She walks down the hallway and stops and turns around.
VALENTINE
By the way, I am getting married
tomorrow, just to spite you.
INT. MAX HOUSE - AFTERNOON
Liz stands looking on as Max attempts to hang her painting
on the wall.
LIZ
No, over to the right more.
Max moves the painting and one of the nails falls out of the
wall and rolls into the garbage can.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.
LIZ
Ill get it!
MAX
I got it.
Max sets down the painting and dumps out the garbage as a
horrified Liz looks on. The negative pregnancy test pokes
out from the waste and Max picks it up and looks at it.
MAX
What is this?
LIZ
Its our pregnancy test. See, its
positive!
MAX
That is not positive Liz.
LIZ
Yes, it is.
MAX
Ive seen the commercials, no its
not.
LIZ
Im sorry, okay? I saw the way you
look at her and I panicked. Anyone
would do the same if they wanted to
keep their boyfriend! You cant
blame me.
Max throws the test down.
EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY
Tatum runs up the steps of the large courthouse, with Max
following close behind.
MAX
Is Valentine in there?
TATUM
Yeah, what are you doing here?
MAX
Ive got to stop her.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 19.
TATUM
No, Ive got to stop her.
MAX
If youre here to stop her, who is
she inside with?
They look at each other.
INT. COURTHOUSE - DAY
Valentine stands with Jay, waiting to sign the paperwork, as
Max and Tatum coming rushing in, out of breath.
TATUM
Dude!
JAY
I tried to tell you, man!
MAX
Valentine, dont do this.
VALENTINE
Go home to your pregnant girlfriend
Max, and leave me alone!
TATUM
Thats right, leave her alone!
VALENTINE
You, shut up!
MAX
There is no baby.
VALENTINE
Really?
MAX
Really. We are soulmates Val, we
need to be together. This is me
fighting for you.
JAY
Valentine?
Valentine shakes her head at Jay and he raises his hand.
JAY
Well, how about high fives for
almost doing the thing?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 20.
VALENTINE
Youre a good guy, Jay. I hope you
find someone much better than me.
Valentine looks at the three men standing in front of her
and laughs at the absurdity of it all.
EXT. PUBLIC LIBRARY - NIGHT
Valentine and Max sit on the curb in front of the library,
holding hands. The song "Boys of Summer" by Don Henley
plays. With their faces forward, they smile.
The End.