The Kitchen Chronicles: 1001 Lunches with J.

Krishnamurti
Copyright 1997 by Michael Krohnen
Indian blessing before and after meals
Anna dathu
sukhi bhava
!a" he who #ives $ood be ha%%"&
C O N T N T !
" C K N O #$ % & M N T !
% I ! C $ " I M '
" ( T ) O ' * ! + ' O $ O & (
P A R T O N E :
I N T ' O % ( C T I O N T O " + " T ) $ ! ! $ " N %
,irst !teps
-eginnings of ,riendship
,.ll Taste
The !econd Time "ro.nd
P A R T T W O :
$ ( N C ) ! #I T ) K ' I ! ) N " M( ' T I
In the /alley of the Moon
&atherings 0ith Krishna1i
#aiting for Krishna1i
$.nching 0ith Krishna1i
2#hat*s the ne0s3 sir45
)ea6enly #aters
" Man 0ith " 'eligio.s Mind
"n Immortal ,riend
P A R T T H R E E :
7 " ' ! O , C O M+ $ T I O N
" Meeting of Minds
,ood for Tho.ght
Key to the Mystery of $ife4
The nergy of mptiness
The &athering of "ll nergy
" C.lmination of %ialog.e
Creati6ity
,light of the agle
P A R T F O U R :
, $ O # ' I N & I N & O O % N ! !
+eace on arth
" !cientist of the Internal
The $ong &ood8bye
$ast %ays
+ I $ O & (
N % N O T !
" C K N O # $ % & M N T !
"ltho.gh 0riting is a solitary acti6ity3 matching the a.thor and his tho.ghts 0ith
the blan9 page or screen3 it yet in6ol6es the cooperation of many people before3
d.ring and after p.blication: "s far as this 0or9 is concerned3 I am deeply
indebted to many friends for their 9ind help and enco.ragement o6er the years:
"nd I hope that I may be forgi6en if I only mention a fe0 by name:
I m.st start o.t by than9ing my mother3 0hose .n0a6ering s.pport 0as
inestimable: (nfort.nately3 she did not li6e to see the concl.sion of this boo9 b.t
died at the age of ;9 in <.ly 199=:
specially heartfelt than9s also to Mary >imbalist3 0ho caref.lly and
patiently listened to my readings from the first and second draft man.scripts: !he
not only enco.raged me b.t also offered great help in getting facts straight and
the tone right:
&reat than9s to Katherine )an for being a genero.s and hospitable friend and
for sharing the sense of the importance of this 0or9:
It is hard to p.t into 0ords the help and generosity I recei6ed from ,riedrich
&rohe: It 0o.ld ha6e been diffic.lt for me to bring the boo9 to a concl.sion
0itho.t his steadfast friendship and inspiration3 and his end.ring enco.ragement:
I also 0o.ld li9e to than9 %a6id Moody and his 0ife /i6ienne for their
friendship: !ince he 0as in effect my first reader and editor3 offering honest and
in6al.able ad6ice abo.t all aspects of the 0or9 in progress3 I cannot thin9 of the
boo9 e6er ha6ing fo.nd its final form 0itho.t his percepti6e comments:
!imilarly3 I am indebted to 'ay McCoy 0ho caref.lly pointed o.t n.mero.s
mista9es and made e?cellent s.ggestions in regard to str.ct.ral changes: I deeply
appreciate his friendship3 0hich helped in more 0ays than one:
My gratit.de also goes to Tom )eggestad for his indomitable 0illingness to
lend a helping hand at moments of electronic distress and for his great patience
0ith a comp.ter illiterate friend:
In addition3 I 0o.ld li9e to e?press my than9s to "lan and )elen )oo9er for
ten and more years of cooperation and friendship of the rarest 9ind3 0hich is at
the heart of the endea6or to report abo.t so many l.ncheons:
!pecial than9s to Mar93 "sha3 and Nandini $ee3 not only for their help at a
cr.cial moment b.t also for a lasting relationship of affection and .nderstanding:
It*s @.ite e?traordinary to ha6e an editor 0ho is not only s9illf.l and
.nderstanding b.t 0ho also $eelsA my deep appreciation to !tephen and #endy
!mith:
I 0o.ld not li9e to neglect mentioning my gratef.l appreciation for the
assistance and friendship of Ni9os and !tefania +ila6ios3 <.an and Maria8"ngels
Colell3 -yron and "lida "llison3 I6an -er9o6ics3 %o.g 6ans3 !ara Clo.d3
,rancis McCann3 and -en Kelley:
"nd to 'ita >ampese I 0o.ld li9e to say than9s for the 0onderf.l photos and
for 9indly letting .s .se them in this boo9:
$ast b.t not least3 my lo6e and gratit.de to 'achel ,ernandes:
Michael Krohnen
O1ai3 California3 "pril 199B
% I ! C $ " I M '
The dialog.es 0hich I present in the follo0ing pages are not3 for the most part3
6erbatim reports of Krishnam.rti3 e6en tho.gh they see9 to represent his
thin9ing: They are predominantly narrati6e reconstr.ctions based on my
recollections and notes from the period describedCe?cept for brief @.otations
from his tal9s:
!imilarly3 I ha6e .sed some poetic license in see9ing to recreate the mood and
the sense of being in the presence of a great re6ol.tionary thin9er and teacher: I
0rote the follo0ing acco.nt beca.se I had seen something of rare and
astonishing bea.ty that I nat.rally 0anted to share 0ith others: I also felt that it
0as important to bear 0itness to a lifeCthat of <: Krishnam.rtiC0hich has been
of 6ital significance in the co.rse and history of h.man conscio.sness: -esides3
both friends and strangers ha6e been as9ing me on many occasions 0hat it had
been li9e to li6e and 0or9 0ith someone li9e Krishnam.rti: No03 at last3 I*m
able to pro6ide them 0ith an ans0er to their @.estions 0hich I hope 0ill be
comprehensi6e:
,inally3 it 0as also for my o0n benefit that I gathered my notes and
recollections and arranged them in something resembling chronological order: It
has helped me gain a clearer perception of a most significant period in my life3
the liberating action of 0hich has not ceased to profo.ndly affect my day8to8day
li6ing:
"nd3 altho.gh at heart this is a highly s.b1ecti6e acco.nt of my impressions
of3 and interaction 0ith3 <: Krishnam.rti3 the chronology gi6en and the e6ents
described are entirely a.thentic and fact.al:
Michael Krohnen
" ( T ) O ' * ! + ' O $ O & (
,or fo.r long years the 0ar had been raging aro.nd the globe and the tide 0as
grad.ally beginning to t.rn against the aggressors 0hen I 0as born in "rnstein3 a
small to0n near ,ran9f.rtDMain in &ermany3 in the fall of 19EF:
&ro0ing .p in the aftermath of the 0ar3 nat.re and its bea.ty ass.med a deep
meaning for me: ,ields of tall golden grass dancing in the s.nlight3 0hite clo.ds
across the bl.e s9y3 the 0ind in the trees3 and the brilliant stars at night 0ere li9e
disco6eries of another3 more peacef.l dimension3 different from the 0orld that
man had created: "s far bac9 as I can remember3 I harbored a b.rning c.riosity
for 0hat lay beyond appearances3 for .ltimate ca.ses3 for the sacred: The biblical
stories fascinated me3 especially the Creation in &enesis: (nfort.nately3 the
'oman Catholic priests 0ere only too 0illing to inc.lcate my yo.ng3 g.llible
mind 0ith rit.als3 prayers and dogmas: -efore long3 I belie6ed I 0anted to
become a missionary to sa6e ignorant so.ls from hell:
-.t3 than9 &od3 sin inter6ened3 and I started to e?perience the po0er of
nat.re 0ithin me3 0ith its accompanying @.estions and do.bts: The female form3
girls3 s.ddenly became mysterio.sly enchanting and sed.cti6e: The pleas.res and
pains of my a0a9ening se?.al dri6e 0ere strange forces that I co.ld neither
control nor .nderstand: Traditional e?planations didn*t shed any light on the
matter b.t only added more to my conf.sion3 0ith their moral threats3 fear and
g.ilt:
"t the more intellect.al le6el3 history 0as teaching me a lesson at the same
timeCthe lesson of o.r recent collecti6e past: It 0as strange to realiGe that I and
my peers 0ere the offspring of the generation that had embraced "dolf )itler and
his insane schemes: #hen I sa0 0ith my o0n eyes mo6ing pict.res of the
horrors of the concentration camps3 the shoc9 and the tears penetrated my 0hole
being: The once pro.d c.lt.re and society that I had been gro0ing .p in had done
this3 and my fello0 co.ntrymen had been at least silent accomplices: The shame
and g.ilt I felt 0ere inconsolableA pain for ".sch0itG3 !obibor and Treblin9a3
sorro0 for h.man9ind that inflicted so m.ch s.ffering .pon itself:
The goals and ideals defined by society3 by the c.lt.re3 by religion 0ere
s.ddenly meaningless to me: 'eading boo9s3 0riting poetry3 dra0ing pict.res3
playing fl.te3 tra6eling to distant co.ntries and disco6ering ne0 c.lt.resCthese
0ere acti6ities that still held 6al.e for me:
Once I had earned my baccala.reate3 I emigrated to Hthe land of opport.nity
and golden dreams*3 0hich since childhood had fascinated me 0ith its films3
cartoons and #ild #est tales: !ettling in !o.thern California and attending
college opened the door to a ne0 life3 sim.ltaneo.sly 9indling my interest in the
@.est for tr.th: "s I began to e?plore h.manity*s 6ario.s religio.s e?pressions3 I
disco6ered >en 0ith its empty space landscapes and s.dden a0a9enings: ,rom
>en it 0as less than a step to the -.ddha and his noble3 liberating insights into
the .ni6ersality of s.ffering: )e pointed to the other shore beyond the stream of
cra6ing and becoming:
More el.si6e 0as the concept of the Tao 0hich3 as soon as it 0as e?pressed
or named3 ceased to be the tr.e Tao: "cting 0itho.t effort3 0atching 0itho.t
1.dgment3 being .ndi6ided from the flo0 of e6ents 0as to be in harmony 0ith
the hidden la0 of the .ni6erse: The I Ching3 the ancient3 orac.lar -oo9 of
Changes3 e?pressed the la0s of constant change in simple linear symbols: -y
th.s offering a 9ey to decipher the code of hea6en and earth3 it pointed to0ard
self89no0ledge and right action:
,rom India came the /edic and (panishadic 0isdom that the indi6id.al and
the cosmic mind 0ere one and the same: 'ealiGation of this fact 0as liberation
from Maya3 the .ni6ersal 6eil of ill.sion:
"s I 0ent on reading and st.dying the te?ts of the h.man @.est for the sacred
Cthe <.daic tradition3 the !.fis3 the +haraonic gyptians3 the Christian Mystics3
and othersCI 0as intrig.ed by the similarities bet0een these different
e?pressions: -.t I 0as also s9eptical: They all appeared to be based on an
original insight into the mystery of life3 con6eying it in the images and lang.age
of their respecti6e historical time: 7et at the same time3 something essential
seemed to be missing: +erhaps it had to do 0ith the passage of time3 0ith the
enormo.s gap of time that separated me3 li6ing in the t0entieth cent.ry3 from the
-.ddha3 from !ocrates3 +ythagoras3 Conf.ci.s and Meister c9hardt: 6en if in
essence they 0ere hinting at the same thing3 each one of them had spo9en at his
o0n time3 from his o0n c.lt.ral setting3 in his o0n tong.e3 tal9ing to h.man
beings of his period: None of them 9ne0 anything abo.t #orld #ars3
concentration camps3 or moon8landings3 nor abo.t telephones3 airplanes3 cars3
tele6ision3 comp.ters3 e8mail and the many other technological de6ices that
define modern life and its enormo.s comple?ities:
One fatef.l morning in !an %iego3 California3 in 19BB3 I came .pon a boo9
not by3 b.t abo.t a man called <: Krishnam.rti and his philosophy of the silent
mind: Intrig.ed3 I st.died it and 0as less capti6ated by the interpretation of his
philosophy than by the 6erbatim @.otes: )is 0ords str.c9 a deep3 end.ring chord
in my mind: !oon I fo.nd se6eral boo9s 0ritten by him and at once realiGed that
here 0as a 6oice of reason3 of penetrating insight into the h.man condition3 s.ch
as I had ne6er heard before: #itho.t offering a system of belief3 a method or an
interpretation3 he acc.rately described the global sit.ation of h.manity in clear
and simple lang.age3 demonstrating the destr.cti6eness of religio.s and national
organiGations: )e .rged e6eryone to find o.t tr.th by and for oneself3 and he
denied any form of spirit.al or religio.s a.thority3 incl.ding his o0n:
-esides pro6iding a ne0 and holistic o.tloo93 he p.t into precise 0ords 0hat
I had been 6ag.ely sensing and 0ondering abo.t: To come .pon his 0ritings 0as
li9e disco6ering a precio.s 1e0el3 and 0hat he said electrified me so completely
that I resol6ed to find o.t all I co.ld abo.t this man and3 if he 0as still ali6e3 to
see9 him o.t and meet him:
I disco6ered that he 0as still ali6e and ga6e tal9s in 6ario.s parts of the
0orld: -.t it 0asn*t .ntil %ecember3 197I3 that I 0as able to pinpoint his
0hereabo.ts: I had tra6eled to India to see my old friend !.nyata3 0ho li6ed
0ithin sight of the )imalayan sno0 pea9s in "lmora3 (ttar +radesh3 near the
Tibetan8Nepali border: #hen I enth.siastically mentioned Krishnam.rti3 he told
me abo.t his o0n enco.nter 0ith him3 many years earlier in $ahore: My
e?citement mo.nted as he prod.ced a notice he had recently recei6ed from the
Krishnam.rti ,o.ndation of India3 0hich specified Krishnam.rti*s spea9ing
sched.le in his nati6e land: #hen I sa0 that his ne?t series of tal9s 0as going to
be in Madras3 there 0as no holding me bac9: "rri6ing in Ne0 %elhi after a
t0el6e8ho.r b.s ride3 I still had a si?ty8ho.r train 1o.rney to Madras ahead of me:
I only hoped to get there in time to hear him spea9:
(pon arri6al at Madras on <an.ary 1E3 19713 I s0iftly fo.nd my 0ay to
&reen0ays 'oad3 0here I had learned that Krishnam.rti 0as spea9ing: The lady
0ho recei6ed me told me 0ith regret that I had 1.st missed the third and last tal9
the pre6io.s day: ,or a moment I 0as cr.shed: Then she @.ietly s.ggested that3 if
I 0anted3 I co.ld come the follo0ing day and participate in a dialog.e that
Krishnam.rti 0as going to ha6e 0ith a small gro.p of yo.ng people: I 0as
elated: My heart soared:
The ne?t morning3 I 0ent by a.to8ric9sha0 to the ho.se off &reen0ays 'oad3
eagerly loo9ing for0ard to meeting the man 0ho I felt proclaimed the most
e?traordinary message of freedom for modern8day h.man beings:
'art (ne
J
I N T ' O % ( C T I O N T O
" + " T ) $ ! ! $ " N %
Cha%ter 1
, I ' ! T ! T + !
<: Krishnam.rti
The Core o$ the Teachin#s
)reedom is %ure observation
without direction*
without $ear o$ %unishment
and reward.
)reedom is without motive+
$reedom is not at
the end o$ the evolution o$ man
but lies in the $irst ste%
o$ his e,istence.
)e @.ietly entered the h.shed room: %ressed in 0ide8flo0ing Indian clothes3 he
gingerly mo6ed along the 0all3 caref.l not to step on anyone sitting on the floor:
"ltho.gh of self8contained and dignified bearing3 he appeared .npretentio.s3
almost shy3 as he made his 0ay to an .nocc.pied space in the corner of the large3
s.n8lit room: Once seated cross8legged on a small carpet3 he raised his eyes and
f.lly met the e?pectant gaGe of the forty or fifty yo.ng ad.lts3 0ho sat facing
him: Most 0ere dressed3 as he 0as3 in light8colored3 loose8fitting clothes3 and
appeared intense and respectf.l:
I felt a calm sense of 1oy 0ithin meA fa6orable circ.mstances had led me at
last to the man 0ho had inspired my thin9ing for the past fe0 years: There he
0as in the flesh3 a man in his mid8se6enties3 a c.r6e of 0hite hair framing his
bea.tif.l3 sc.lpted feat.res: )e 0as calmly regarding the gro.p of yo.ng men
and 0omen in front of him 0ith large mirroring eyes that spar9led 0ith delight:
"ltho.gh I had seen photos of his face3 I 0as s.rprised by its yo.thf.l li6eliness
and the combination of dignity and openness it displayed:
)e didn*t seem to be in any h.rry to start tal9ing b.t too9 the time to gaGe at
each single face in t.rn: #hen o.r eyes met3 I felt a 1olt3 as if a c.rrent of energy
had s.ddenly been s0itched on bet0een .s: "ltho.gh I 0as only one among fifty
and sat on the o.ter perimeter of the gro.p3 the brief eye contact had an .n.s.ally
direct impact:
The silence in the room 0as deepening3 becoming almost palpable3 e6en
tho.gh by the 0atch it didn*t last more than a min.te or t0o: It didn*t seem
oppressi6e3 tho.ghK I e?perienced it rather as a pleasant stillness in 0hich I
became @.ietly a0are of myself3 of my body and its mo6ements3 of the people
aro.nd me3 of the noises from the street o.tside3 of my constant tho.ght acti6ity:
-.t most of all3 I became a0are of the man in the corner 0ho 0as loo9ing at .s
so earnestly3 yet 0ith an element of h.mor: I 0as s.rprised ho0 dimin.ti6e and
delicate his body 0as3 li9e a yo.ng boy*s3 and ho0 the s.btle po0er of his
presence seemed to comm.nicate itself e6en 0itho.t 0ords:
,inally he bro9e the silence by as9ing3 2#hat shall 0e tal9 abo.t this
morning45
"fter a moment*s hesitation3 a yo.ng Indian man 0ho 0as sitting 1.st a fe0
feet from him spo9e .p3 2!ir3 yo. say3 H7o. are the 0orld3 and the 0orld is yo.*:
#hat is the significance of that statement45
" #estern lady3 dressed in a green sil9 sari3 offered another s.ggestion3
2Co.ld 0e disc.ss the nat.re of the religio.s mind45
Krishnam.rti 0as attenti6ely listening to the @.estioners3 and3 0hen no one
else made any f.rther s.ggestions3 he as9ed3 2!hall 0e start o.t by in@.iring into
the religio.s mind4 Then 0e*ll also get to the other @.estion: #o.ld that be all
right45
There 0as some eager nodding and a m.rm.r of consent among the gro.p:
)e started by emphasiGing that this 0as a dialog.e3 in 0hich e6eryone 0as to
participate3 and that he 0as not the a.thority: "s the dialog.e .nfolded3 more of
the people too9 part and a li6ely e?change of 6ie0s ens.ed: -.t he 9ept probing
deeper by p.tting f.ndamental3 simple @.estions3 2#hat is religion4 #hat do yo.
mean by Hin@.iring into*45 and the li9e3 foc.sing the in@.iry on the original
@.estion and insisting that e6erybody slo0ly and deliberately mo6e together: "ll
at once3 he earnestly entreated .s to face the act.ality of 0hat 0e 0ere
disc.ssing3 2+lease listenA 0e are concerned 0ith .nderstanding the 0hole of
e?istence3 not 1.st one tiny corner of it: 7o. ha6e to find o.t for yo.rsel6es3
disco6er for yo.rsel6es3 0hat tr.th is in yo.r daily life3 in yo.r act.al e6eryday
e?istence:5
I 0as str.c9 by the simple immediacy of his approach and its practicality3
a0ay from theoriGing and abstract con1ect.ring: No ans0er seemed to satisfy
him3 no concl.sion 0as accepted: "t one point3 dra0ing attention to the fact that
organiGed religions thro.gho.t history had di6ided h.manity and ca.sed .ntold
conflict and s.ffering3 he stopped in mid8sentence3 and an impish smile spread
o6er his face:
2May I tell yo. a 1o9e45 he inter1ected: 2!ome of yo. may ha6e heard it3 so
don*t get bored: The de6il and a friend of his are 0al9ing the earth: "head of
them3 they see a man bend do0n and pic9 .p something shiny from the gro.nd:
)e loo9s at it 0ith delight3 p.ts it in his poc9et and elatedly 0al9s off: The friend
as9s3 H#hat did that man find that changed him so m.ch4* The de6il ans0ers3 HI
9no0: )e fo.nd a piece of the tr.th:* H-y <o6eL* e?claims his friend: HThat m.st
be bad b.siness for yo.:* HNot at all3* the de6il replies 0ith a sly smile3 HI*m
going to help him organiGe it:*5
1
#hile reco.nting the 1o9e3 he too9 on the mien and gest.res of a raconte.r3
relishing the details of the story and readily 1oining .s in the la.ghter that er.pted
at the p.nch line: I tho.ght it e?traordinary that a man 0ho insisted on great
serio.sness and e?plored the perennial @.estions of h.man e?istence had the
freedom to tell 1o9es and share in a ro.nd of liberating la.ghter:
2I ha6e a lot of 1o9es3 good 1o9es3 not 6.lgar 1o9es35 he added 0himsically as
the common mirth @.ieted do0n: 2$a.ghter is part of serio.sness3 isn*t it4 To be
able to really la.gh at oneself3 to loo9 at o.rsel6es 0ith great clarity and
serio.sness3 and yet 0ith la.ghter:::5
I had been follo0ing the animated bac98and8forth of the dialog.e 0ith
gro0ing enth.siasm3 mar6eling at the sense of ease3 leis.re and depth that
comm.nicated itself: "ltho.gh I 0as a total ne0comer to all this3 I felt connected
to e6eryone aro.nd3 especially to Krishnam.rti: Ne6er ha6ing participated in a
gro.p dialog.e of this type3 I e?perienced a thrill at the ne0ness of the sit.ation
and the .ne?pected glimpses of something that might be described as
H0holeness*: The great freedom 0ith 0hich 0e in@.ired into o.r daily li6es 0as
e?hilarating: (p .ntil this moment3 I had not .ttered a 0ord3 partly from shyness3
partly from a feeling of inade@.acy3 e6en tho.gh I longed to ma9e a memorable
contrib.tion to the flo0 of meaning bet0een the gro.p and the spea9er:
<.st then Krishnam.rti stated3 0ith an emphatic gest.re of both hands3 2"s
long as there is s.ffering and conflict3 there cannot be intelligence: !o can yo.
li6e a life completely 0itho.t conflict4 "nd ho0 are yo. going to bring this
abo.t45
My brain clic9ed: I 9ne0 the ans0er and3 0itho.t f.rther deliberation3 bl.rted
o.t3 2Thro.gh meditation:5
It 0as a c.rio.s sensation to hear myself acti6ely participating in the
con6ersation: ,or a brief inter6al I heard the echo of my o0n 6oice3 sa0 my
0ords hanging in empty space: Krishnam.rti*s gaGe foc.sed on me: %ressed in
#estern clothes3 my large torso to0ering abo6e the rest of the gro.p3 I 0as easily
identifiable: )is sharp glance softened3 his head tilted min.tely3 and a smile
played aro.nd his feat.res as he said 0ith some forbearance3 2No3 darlingL5
,or a moment I tho.ght I hadn*t heard him right3 then it slo0ly san9 in 0ith
certaintyA he really had 1.st called me Hdarling*: I 0as in t0o minds ho0 to ta9e
this3 then I chose to accept it in a positi6e and personal sense: That my 6ie0 had
been re1ected seemed to matter little: Once I had gained some meas.re of control
o6er the emotional .ps.rge that I e?perienced as a res.lt of the endearment3 I
foc.sed on the ongoing in6estigation into the roots of conflict:
2#hen there is no comparison3 no conformity3 then conflict comes to an end3
and life is intelligence 0hich is neither yo.rs nor mineCit simply is35
Krishnam.rti 0as saying: 2"nd only a mind 0itho.t conflict is a religio.s mind:5
"s I 0as listening to his 0ords3 to the tone of his 6oice3 e6erything he said
appeared so tr.e3 s.ch a precise description of realityCe6en tho.gh he
repeatedly pointed o.t3 2The 0ord is not the thing3 the description is not the
described:5 It 0as as if a door in my mind had been opened and I 0as loo9ing at
a breathta9ingly bea.tif.l landscape3 6ast and 0itho.t limits:
2"nd 0hen I realiGe that I am the 0orld3 that I am not separate from it3 0hen I
can obser6e my fear and be free of it3 then maybe meditation 0ill open a door:5
)is 0ords had ta9en on a resonance3 so.nding li9e a solemn chant:
6eryone had fallen silent: The s.nlight 0as streaming into the room3 0ith a
myriad motes dancing in it3 and there 0as a sense of togetherness: ,or a moment3
time and space seemed to become non8specific3 as if e6ery place 0as here and
each tic9ing second 0as no0: $osing trac9 of 0ho and 0here I 0as3 I fo.nd
myself loo9ing in0ardly3 into my o0n mind3 b.t in a manner different from the
habit.al t.rning to0ard the ban9s of memory: It 0as ne03 e?traordinarily ne0
and ali6e:
#hen I raised my eyes3 I sa0 Krishnam.rti loo9ing at .s3 ta9ing .s all in at
the same time3 as it 0ere: Then he silently pressed his palms together in the
prayer8li9e namaste greeting3 the Indian e@.i6alent of Hhello* and Hgood8bye*:
6eryone in the gro.p reciprocated: -.t 0hen nobody made to rise3 he gest.red
at those closest to him3 as9ing them in a lo0 6oice3 2#o.ld yo. 9indly get .p45
#hile people 0ere rising aro.nd me3 I loo9ed at my 0atch 0ith some
s.rpriseA o.r dialog.e had lasted almost t0o ho.rs and yet it seemed li9e no time
at all: I had some diffic.lty getting to my feet: %espite fre@.ent shifting of
position3 my legs had thoro.ghly gone to sleep3 and I felt a sharp3 tingling
sensation as I 0obbled to stand straight: -.t my attention 0asn*t too m.ch
concerned 0ith the body*s discomfortA I 0as still entirely absorbed by
Krishnam.rti3 0ho 0as e?changing 0ords 0ith se6eral people: )is 0al9 and
gest.res 0ere gracef.lK his loo9s3 despite his age3 radiantK and he appeared in all
respects li9e an e?traordinary h.man beingA a prince:
T0o yo.ng Indian ladies in colorf.l sil9 saris approached him3 and after a fe0
0ords the three of them strode off into an ad1oining room3 closing the 0ooden
door behind them:
"s I p.t on my shoes by the steps of the ho.se3 0ith people departing left and
right3 the fragrance of the dialog.e lingered 0ith me: It 0as as if a light had been
t.rned on inside my brain3 or perhaps3 better3 as if my senses had been cleansed
and the light co.ld enter: ,or the remainder of the day I felt an ine?plicable
lightness and 1oy3 and my perception of the 0orld aro.nd me 0ith its b.stle and
t.rmoil seemed strangely .nenc.mbered by 0orries or self8concern:
J
I 9ne0 I 0anted more: I 0anted to hear more of his tal9s3 I 0anted to ha6e more
personal contact 0ith him: In some sense3 it felt li9e being in lo6eC0ith
Krishnam.rti the person3 b.t also 0ith 0hat he said3 0ith his liberating message
of freedom and l.cidity:
"t the ho.se off &reen0ays 'oad I had learned that Krishnam.rti 0as going
to gi6e a p.blic tal9 at the Indian Instit.te of Technology the follo0ing
afternoon: "n ho.r before the appointed time I hailed one of the small3
omnipresent a.to8ric9sha0s to ta9e me to the camp.s3 0hich 0as located among
pleasant greenery: The open8air amphitheater 0as teeming 0ith peopleA there
m.st ha6e been t0o tho.sand3 most of them st.dents:
#hen Krishnam.rti appeared on the stage3 the chattering died do0n3 and
e6erybody t.rned their attention to0ard him: )e seemed aloof and m.ch more
a.stere than at the small gro.p meeting the pre6io.s day: "fter some rather
se6ere remar9s abo.t the chaos people had made of their li6es3 0hich he aimed
directly at those in front of him3 he eased into a more congenial rapport 0ith the
a.dience: Ill.strating a sit.ation in 0hich there really 0as no choice3 he in1ected
a dose of h.mor by 1o9ing3 2It*s li9e the h.sband 0hose pregnant 0ife is abo.t to
gi6e birth: #hen they arri6e at the hospital3 the man as9s her3 H"re yo. s.re3
darling3 that yo. 0ant to go thro.gh 0ith this4*5
" 0a6e of la.ghter ran thro.gh the a.dience: 2It*s good that 0e can la.gh
together35 he commented3 2It*s good to la.ghCat a good 1o9eCat o.rsel6es: #e
ha6e too many tears in o.r heartsK there is too m.ch misery:5
$istening to him spea9 in front of many people 0as li9e 0atching a
cons.mmate artist paint 0ith his 0ords a panoramic pict.re of the h.man psyche3
sho0ing .s the !istine Chapel of o.r conscio.sness: The formality of a larger
gathering nat.rally lessened the 0armth and sense of affection that I had
e?perienced d.ring my first direct contact 0ith him3 b.t it didn*t diminish the
impact of his 0ords: "ltho.gh he clearly reached o.t to his listeners3 again and
again in6o9ing a participatory togetherness3 he 0as not engaging in a dialog.e
0ith its bac98and8forth m.t.ality: )e 6ery directly presented his insight into the
h.man condition: The simplicity and bea.ty of this insight made it accessible to
anyone 0ho 0as 0illing to set aside the acc.m.lated beliefs and doctrines of the
past and loo9 ane0 at his or her act.al e6eryday li6ing:
"fter the tal9 I ran into t0o old friends of mine among the tho.sands of
departing people: I 0as glad to meet them so .ne?pectedly and got e6en more
e?cited 0hen they told me abo.t Krishnam.rti*s .pcoming tal9s at 'ishi /alley3
a secondary school 0hich he had fo.nded before the 0ar: !ince it 0as t0o
h.ndred miles inland from Madras and hard to get to3 they offered me a ride in
their 6ehicle3 an old nglish station80agon:
I felt I had no choice in the matter and gladly accepted: 6er since I had
follo0ed my heart from the )imalayas to Madras I tho.ght that things had ta9en
on a moment.m of their o0n3 in the right direction: "nd if I only allo0ed the
config.ration of e6ents to .nfold 0itho.t too m.ch interference on my part3 I
might be hearing a lot more of Krishnam.rti: #hich 0as 0hat I 0anted:
Cha%ter -
- & I N N I N & !
O , , ' I N % ! ) I +
<: Krishnam.rti
Krishnamurti To .imsel$
Love is as real* as stron#* as death.
/t has nothin# to do with ima#ination*
or sentiment* or romanticism+
and naturall" it has nothin# to do with
%ower* %osition* %resti#e.
/t is as still as the waters o$ the sea
and as %ower$ul as the sea+
it is like the runnin# waters
o$ a rich river $lowin# endlessl"*
without a be#innin# or an end.
'ishi /alley is an oasis3 a place of green fertility amidst an arid landscape of
barren hills3 biGarre roc9 formations and giant bo.lders: Cent.ries8old banyans3
mango and tamarind trees shade the camp.s3 and p.rple and red bo.gain6illea
cascade do0n the sides of colonial8style cottages: It is an enchanting place:
!hortly after o.r arri6al3 Krishnam.rti 0as sched.led to gi6e a tal9 to the
st.dents and teachers of the 'ishi /alley !chool: To my delight3 g.ests3
incl.ding o.rsel6es3 0ere also in6ited: There 0as a festi6e mood as 0e 1oined
se6eral h.ndred st.dents and their solemn8loo9ing teachers in the large
a.ditori.m: "t one end of the b.ilding3 0hich 0as open on all fo.r sides3 there
0as a lo0 platform draped 0ith colorf.l carpets: !e6eral potted plants 0ere
placed aro.nd it3 and a microphone8stand on the dais 0as connected to
lo.dspea9ers and to a table 0ith recording e@.ipment:
#hen Krishnam.rti entered3 I 0as again str.c9 by his dimin.ti6e physi@.e:
The loose clothing he 0ore accent.ated his smallness3 0hich contrasted sharply
0ith the gigantic proportions he 0as ta9ing on in my mind: "pproaching the
platform3 he t.rned to0ards the a.dience and offered the namaste greeting: The
e?cited b.GG of the cro0d came to an abr.pt halt as both teachers and st.dents in
.nison responded 0ith the same gest.re of respect:
Krishnam.rti too9 off his sandals and after slo0ly and caref.lly mo.nting the
platform3 sat do0n in a cross8legged position: )e faced the a.dience3 a light
smile playing aro.nd his lips3 and again he ga6e the namaste greeting: "gain
e6eryone ans0ered silently 0ith the same gest.re: )is glance s0ept o6er the sea
of e?pectant yo.ng faces that 0ere t.rned to0ard him: )e smiled 0ith delight as
he started o.t 0ith the @.estion3 2#hat shall 0e tal9 abo.t45 "fter a brief
inter6al3 se6eral of the yo.nger st.dents3 both boys and girls3 as9ed some
charmingly simple @.estions3 2#hat is &od45 2#hy are 0e being ed.cated45
2#hy m.st I obey my teacher45
Krishnam.rti gently responded to the @.estions3 en1oying the 6erbal e?change
0ith the yo.ng st.dents3 0hose minds 0ere still fresh and relati6ely
.nenc.mbered by the press.res of earning a li6elihood and p.rs.ing a career:
There 0as an atmosphere of .nrestrained openness3 enli6ened by occasional
1oyf.l la.ghter: "t one point3 la.ghing e?.berantly3 he e?claimed3 2I ha6en*t had
so m.ch f.n since my grandmother died:5 'ealiGing that the old saying co.ld
easily be mis.nderstood3 he @.ic9ly corrected himself by saying3 2I don*t really
mean that:5
I 0as sitting on a bench at the 6ery bac9 of the a.ditori.m3 obser6ing the man
on the platform abo6e a m.ltit.de of blac98haired heads: I 0as absorbed not only
by 0hat he 0as saying b.t also by the tone of his 6oice: %eep and resonant3 it
rose at times into higher octa6es3 0ith an almost feminine mod.lation: )e tended
to clip certain 0ords3 gi6ing his speech a distinctly -ritish character:
"ltho.gh there 0ere abo.t =II other people present3 I felt that he 0as
spea9ing directly to me3 addressing my specific concerns and problems: It 0as
.ncanny: #hile I listened to 0hat he 0as saying 0ith an open mind and heart3
there 0as a sense of connectedness3 of great lightness and 1oy3 .n9no0n and ne0
to me:
To0ard the end of the tal93 he as9ed3 2!hall 0e sit still for se6eral min.tes of
silence45 It 0as as if he had gi6en a signalA e6eryone3 e6en the yo.nger st.dents3
0ho 0ere sitting cross8legged on the floor and had been fidgeting thro.gho.t the
tal93 promptly froGe: "fter a min.te or t0o of shared silence3 he raised his hands
in the namaste greeting3 0hich apparently 0as the sign for the st.dents to 1.mp
.p and 0ith animated chatter disperse in all directions:
I remained spellbo.nd in my place amidst the s.dden mo6ements all aro.nd
me: "s I @.ietly loo9ed abo.t3 I became a0are of the bright3 colorf.l day: There
0ere birds 0ith shining pl.mage flitting abo.tK magnificent flo0ers 0ere
opening o.t: Nat.re seemed to be po0erf.lly omnipresent3 e6en 0ithin myself:
"s I rose from my seat3 I noticed that a fe0 people had stayed behind and
0ere cro0ding aro.nd the fig.re of Krishnam.rti: "miably e?changing a fe0
0ords 0ith one person3 he t.rned to the ne?t3 sha9ing a #esterner*s hand:
I 0as standing @.ietly3 0ith a blan9 mind3 0istf.lly obser6ing the interaction
from a distance of abo.t t0enty yards: "ll at once3 Krishnam.rti ca.ght sight of
me3 standing by myself: #itho.t a moment*s hesitation3 he disengaged himself
from the person he 0as tal9ing 0ith3 and strode o6er to 0here I 0as: #ith a
friendly smile he held o.t his hand3 and 0itho.t any 0ords 0e shoo9 hands:
The impact of this .ne?pected enco.nter left me speechless: )e did not say
anything3 either: "fter 0hat seemed li9e a long inter6al of @.ietness3 the .rge of
social con6ention to say something got the better of me: I co.ldn*t thin9 of
anything poignant to remar9K the only 0ords I co.ld gather sprang from a feeling
of gratit.de to0ard this .nass.ming man for affording a 6ie0 of something
radically ne0:
I stammered3 2Than9 yo.3 sir: Than9 yo.L5
)e smiled brightly3 st.dying me: 2#here do yo. come from45
I replied3 2#ell3 I*m originally from &ermany3 b.t I*6e been li6ing in the
(nited !tates for some years no03 in California:5
2"h yes3 California35 he said3 2I go there sometimes:5
"t that moment3 I remembered a n.mber of poems 0ritten by the yo.ng
Krishnam.rti that I had recently read and that had impressed me: !ince I fancied
myself a poet3 I tho.ght that this might be an opport.ne moment to address
poetry: !o I as9ed him3 2I read se6eral of the poems 0hich yo. 0rote many years
ago and en1oyed them 6ery m.ch: %o yo. still 0rite poetry these days45
It 0as as if I had to.ched a ner6e or had changed the composition of the field
in 0hich 0e 0ere mo6ing: )e seemed to be stepping bac9 from me3 and an air of
s.dden aloofness en6eloped him: 2I*m sorry3 I*6e forgotten35 he replied distantly
and 0al9ed a0ay after @.ic9ly sha9ing my hand:
"ltho.gh I 0asn*t dist.rbed by his demeanor3 I felt slightly mystified by it:
The closer I got to this .n.s.al man3 the more intrig.ed I became: It 0as li9e
loo9ing e6ermore closely at a rose3 0hich more and more re6ealed the details of
its petals3 the depth of its color3 and its fragrance:
J
" fe0 days later I 0as strolling along the tree8lined lanes of the camp.s3 bathed
in the glo0 of the early afternoon s.nlight3 0hen I enco.ntered the principal of
the school: )e 0as a slim person 0ith balding head and sharp3 darting eyes and
0ore #estern clothes: "fter a friendly greeting3 he as9ed me 0hether I had
in@.ired abo.t the possibility of a face8to8face meeting 0ith Krishnam.rti: I had3
in fact3 that morning as9ed one of the school teachers if Krishnam.rti still ga6e
pri6ate inter6ie0s: It had been only a cas.al in@.iry3 0itho.t any .rgency or
act.al intent on my part: !o I 0as fairly startled to disco6er that it had been
promptly passed on to the top: The principal proceeded to tell me that I co.ld
meet Krishnam.rti in t0enty min.tes at his residence: I e?citedly dashed bac9 to
my room to clean .p for s.ch an .ne?pected e6ent: 'emembering t0o poems I
had recently 0ritten3 I tho.ght that this might be an opport.ne occasion to
present them to Krishnam.rti:
I fo.nd my 0ay to his ho.se: It 0as a t0o8storied b.ilding s.rro.nded by
e?otic trees3 one of them a flame8tree 0ith brilliant3 red flo0ers: Nobody seemed
to be e?pecting me3 and I felt shy and a bit apprehensi6e3 almost li9e an intr.der
in a tran@.il sanct.ary: I 9noc9ed on one of the do0nstairs doors3 and an Indian
lady 0ith a friendly face opened it: I told her that I had an appointment 0ith
Krishnam.rti: )esitating for a moment3 she s.ggested he might be resting: I
gently insisted that the meeting had been arranged by the principal: #ith a
typical Indian gest.re3 she bade me 0ait3 0hile she 0ent .pstairs to find o.t
abo.t the matter:
"s I stood at the foot of the stairs3 in the h.mming stillness of the hot
afternoon3 I felt s.spended in a 6ac..m3 0here the normal passage of time
seemed absent: " great stillness 0as en6eloping me as my tho.ght processes
slo0ed to a tric9le: I as9ed myself 0hy I 0as here: #hat did I e?pect from
meeting Krishnam.rti4 I didn*t ha6e any specific @.estion that I 0anted to as9
him: )e had already amply addressed my concerns in his tal9s: "t the same time3
I realiGed that I harbored a gna0ing c.riosity abo.t 0hat he 0as li9e in his daily
life: +erhaps all I 0anted 0as to be in his presence:
" sh.ffling so.nd came from abo6e: $oo9ing .p3 I sa0 Krishnam.rti in bare
feet descending the stairs 0ith caref.lly meas.red steps: "fter slipping on a pair
of sandals3 he t.rned to face me3 and 0e greeted each other 0ith the namaste
gest.re: )e appeared tacit.rn3 almost other0orldly3 and his finely chiseled face
bore an e?pression of serene3 indifferent stillness: )e did not .tter a 0ord b.t 1.st
stood there 0aiting for me to ma9e a mo6e3 to say something3 or perhaps not:
My brain8cells 0ere scrambling to form.late a meaningf.l statement:
Clearing my throat3 I said haltingly3 2!ir3 ICI 0anted to than9 yo. for3 forC
e6erything: I mean3 I ha6e read yo.r boo9s3 and it*s 0onderf.l 0hat yo. 0rite: I
mean3 it*s tr.e: -.t no03 to see yo. and hear yo. li6e3 to act.ally e?perience it3 is
C0ell3 it*s beyond 0ordsCand:::5
)e made a soothing gest.re3 and his 6oice 0as calm li9e a la9e at da0n: 2It*s
all right3 sir35 he said:
I p.lled o.t the sheets of paper from my bac98poc9et and handed them to
him: 2?c.se me35 I stammered3 2these are t0o poems 0hich I ha6e recently
0ritten: I 0o.ld li9e to present them to yo.:5 " s0ift smile spread across his face
as he too9 the papers 0itho.t loo9ing at them: Instead3 he simply gaGed at me in
an .n.s.al3 .nfoc.sed mannerCas if 6ie0ing the space aro.nd me rather than
the form 0ithin the space:
I fell silent3 and 0hen after a fe0 moments it became apparent that I didn*t
ha6e any f.rther @.estions3 he simply said3 2"ll right3 sir: I 0ill see yo.
tomorro0:5 #ith that3 he 0edged the papers .nder his arm3 offered the namaste
good8bye and climbed the stairs3 after caref.lly placing his sandals side by side
on the landing:
"s I pensi6ely strolled off3 it occ.rred to me that I might in fact ha6e
interr.pted his siesta: 6en so3 I co.ldn*t b.t be elated by o.r brief enco.nter:
J
-y no03 a resol.tion had formed in my mindA I 0as determined to hear
Krishnam.rti spea9 0here6er I co.ld: It 0as a great pri6ilege3 a case of good
l.c93 to ha6e come .pon someone 0ho spo9e the tr.th3 0itho.t any 9ind of
.lterior moti6e and 0itho.t in6o9ing dogma or tradition:
I had noticed that there 0ere a n.mber of people3 both Indians and
#esterners3 0ho reg.larly sho0ed .p at all of his tal9s: !ome3 apparently3 0ere
associates and co80or9ersK others seemed to be Hfree agents*Cacolytes3 chelas3
disciples3 0ho follo0ed him aro.nd: !ome of them told me that they had listened
to him for many years in different co.ntries aro.nd the 0orld3 since he follo0ed
a reg.lar itinerary3 spea9ing in India3 California3 Ne0 7or93 !0itGerland and
ngland: ach year he ga6e p.blic tal9s in the same places at ro.ghly the same
time3 occasionally spea9ing at ne0 locations3 as he had 1.st done the pre6io.s
No6ember3 0hen he ga6e a series of tal9s and dialog.es in ".stralia:
It seemed to me that follo0ing him aro.nd confronted one 0ith a
contradiction3 since he 6ehemently denied being a spirit.al leader and insisted
that he didn*t ha6e any follo0ers or disciples: In fact3 he entirely denied the 6al.e
of the ancient )ind. tradition that emphasiGed the @.intessential relationship
bet0een teacher and disciple: Insisting that there 0as no s.ch thing as an
initiation into3 or a transmission of3 tr.th3 he maintained that one had to disco6er
tr.th by and for oneself3 and be a light .nto oneself: %.ring one of his tal9s at
'ishi /alley3 for instance3 he po9ed gentle f.n at the attit.de of someone 0ho
0anted to learn tr.th from another:
2May I tell yo. a story45 he started3 a mischie6o.s t0in9le in his eyes3 as he
s.r6eyed his yo.ng a.dience: 2" yo.ng man lea6es home to loo9 for tr.th: )e
goes to a 0ell89no0n g.r. 0ho li6es on the ban9s of a ri6er: H+lease3 sir3* he says
to the old man3 Hallo0 me to stay 0ith yo.: I 0ant to learn the tr.th from yo.:*
"nd the g.r. agrees: "nd so he 0ashes his clothes3 coo9s for him3 and performs
all 9inds of tas9s for the old teacher: "fter fi6e years3 he says to the master3 HI*6e
spent fi6e years 0ith yo. b.t I still don*t 9no0 0hat tr.th is and ha6en*t learned
a thing: !o if yo. don*t mind3 I*ll lea6e yo.: +erhaps I can find another teacher3
from 0hom I can learn more abo.t the tr.th:* HI don*t mind3* says the old man3
Hgo right ahead:* !o the yo.ng chap goes off and finds se6eral other g.r.s3 from
0hom he learns 6ario.s magic tric9s: "fter another fi6e years ha6e passed3 he
remembers his old teacher and goes to 6isit him: H!o 0hat ha6e yo. learned4* the
old man as9s him: "nd his former st.dent tells him that he can 0al9 on hot coals3
le6itate and so on: HIs that all4* the g.r. as9s: The yo.ng man points at the ri6er
in front of them and says pro.dly3 H"nd I can 0al9 on the 0aters of that ri6er to
the opposite shore:* H"nd it too9 yo. fi6e years to learn that3* the old master
e?claims3 H0hen o6er there3 fifty yards from here3 yo. can ta9e the ferry boat
across for t0openceL*5
Once I had learned the details of Krishnam.rti*s 0orld0ide sched.le of tal9s3
I arranged my o0n plans accordinglyA follo0er or not3 I 0anted to hear him as
often as I co.ld reasonably manage: )is ne?t p.blic appearance 0as going to be
in -angalore3 a large city a h.ndred miles 0est of 'ishi /alley3 d.ring the
follo0ing 0ee9end: It 0asn*t diffic.lt for me to find my 0ay there3 since a
considerable n.mber of people from 'ishi /alley 0ere tra6eling either by b.s or
ta?i to the capital city of Karnata9a !tate:
The tal9s 0ere held in a large tent in the $al -agh &ardens3 a pleasant par93
0ith many trees and blooming flo0ers: !e6eral tho.sand people attended the
tal93 and Krishnam.rti 0as deeply serio.s3 spea9ing of pleas.re and fear3 the
concepts of 9arma and reincarnation3 and the abs.rdity of hoping for a better
Hne?t life*: 2The other day I sa0 a cartoon in a magaGine35 he reco.nted to the
a.dience: 2It*s in Ne0 7or9 City3 at a b.sy intersection in Times !@.are: There
are t0o dogs sitting by the c.rbside3 0atching the people h.rrying by3 al0ays
b.sy and in a r.sh: "nd one dog says to the other3 H7o. 9no03 reincarnation
gi6es me the creeps:*5
I 0as one of the fe0 people 0ho la.ghed o.t lo.d at the 1o9e 0hile the
ma1ority of the a.dience 9ept @.iet3 either beca.se they didn*t .nderstand it3 or
beca.se reincarnation 0as too sacrosanct a s.b1ect for them to 1o9e abo.t: I
appreciated Krishnam.rti*s capacity to introd.ce light8hearted h.mor into areas
of great serio.sness and to sho0 that la.ghter 0as part of serio.sness: The
playf.l3 sympathetic obser6ation of the l.dicro.s in o.r li6es 0as not only of
6ital importanceCit 0as intelligence:
J
The tal9s in -ombay3 a teeming3 o6ercro0ded metropolis on the "rabian !ea3
attracted h.ge n.mbers: -et0een three to fo.r tho.sand people crammed into a
relati6ely small o.tdoor space in the center of the city to listen to him spea9
amidst the .nceasing noise of traffic:
I fo.nd it fascinating to hear Krishnam.rti*s tal9s in different locations:
"ltho.gh his basic message appeared to remain the same3 of the .tmost
simplicity and elegance3 certain aspects of it deri6ed from the physical setting
and the 6arying n.mber of participants: Not only that3 b.t one felt that each tal9
0as a li6ing e6ent and not 1.st a mechanical repetition: Therefore3 it in6ariably
contained an element of startling ne0ness3 of change3 of being in time and yet
pointing beyond it:
Cha%ter 0
, ( $ $ T " ! T
<: Krishnam.rti
The Collected 1orks o$ J. Krishnamurti* 2ol. 2* %. -03
Truth is not at the to% o$ the
ladder+ truth is where "ou are*
in what "ou are doin#*
thinkin#* $eelin#*
when "ou kiss and hu#*
when "ou e,%loit4
"ou must see the truth o$ all that*
not a truth at the end
o$ innumerable c"cles o$ li$e.
In the s.mmer of 1971 I 6isited the !aanen8&staad region of !0itGerland for the
first time: It is a magnificent 6alley of ri6ers3 forests and green meado0s3
s.rro.nded by sno0capped mo.ntain pea9s: ,or the past ten years3 Krishnam.rti
had been gi6ing a month8long series of tal9s and disc.ssions here d.ring <.ly and
".g.st: " h.ge tent 0ith a capacity for more than a tho.sand people had been set
.p on the ban9s of the s0ift8flo0ing !aane 'i6er: 6ery other morning at ele6en
o*cloc93 Krishnam.rti spo9e for abo.t ninety min.tes to the yo.ng and old3 rich
and poor3 0ho had gathered here from aro.nd the 0orld to listen to his
e?traordinary message:
The o6er0helming bea.ty of nat.re3 the clean and orderly to0ns and roads3
the international composition of the a.dience3 and3 most of all3 the re6ol.tionary
e?ploration of the h.man mind combined to create an e6ent .ni@.e in its clarity
and immediacy: I felt enchanted3 as if by some magic I had been transported into
another3 higher dimension: The protagonist at the heart of this e?hilarating
gathering 0as3 of co.rse3 Krishnam.rti3 0ho 0ith calm modesty mo.nted and
left the 0ooden platform from 0hich he spo9e: )e 0as impeccably dressed in
#estern8style clothes: )is gest.res3 spare tho.gh they 0ere3 had great e?pressi6e
po0er3 .nderlining the direct 0ay 0ith 0hich he addressed his listeners:
It 0as easy to ma9e a mystery of him3 perhaps beca.se 0e ha6e s.ch great
need of mysteries3 miracles and magic in o.r ordinary li6es: I 0as certainly not
imm.ne to the temptation to create an imposing image of him3 especially since
data abo.t his personal life 0as sparse: #hat I garnered3 bit by bit3 abo.t his life
only strengthened my belief that 0e 0ere facing an enlightened h.man being:
The more I learned abo.t it3 the more his life seemed li9e a fairy8tale of the most
0ondro.s 9ind3 a legend3 a myth:
In 19I9 at the age of fo.rteen3 he had been Hdisco6ered* as the /ehicle of the
$ord by one of the leaders of the Theosophical !ociety3 a 0orld0ide religio.s
organiGation: !.bse@.ently adopted by them3 he 0as bro.ght .p to be the ne0
Messiah in .rope and "merica: -.t in 19M93 at a large gathering in Ommen in
the Netherlands3 he @.ietly and firmly disbanded the organiGation of HThe Order
of the !tar*3 0hich had been set .p specifically for him3 and told his tho.sands of
follo0ers that he didn*t 0ant to be their leader: 6er since3 he had been tra6eling
the 0orld3 spea9ing to 0homsoe6er came to listen abo.t fear and sorro03 and the
need to end them: This3 he maintained3 co.ld only be done by obser6ing and
in6estigating the 0ays of the mind:
I had read that the Mahayana -.ddhist tradition had a concept 0hich
described a person li9e Krishnam.rtiCa -odhisatt6a3 an "0a9ened -eing3
someone 0ho o.t of compassion for the s.ffering of h.man9ind s.rrenders all
self8concern and points to the tr.th: -y applying this concept to him3 I 0as
essentially mystifying him: My c.riosity 0as assailed by other @.estionsA ho0 do
ill.mined beings li6e4 %o they engage in the h.mdr.m acti6ities of e6eryday
life4 "nd3 more specifically3 0hat does he3 Krishnam.rti3 do 0hen he isn*t gi6ing
a tal9 or a dialog.e4
In the treas.re ho.se of my imagination3 I composed a li9ely scenarioA he
0o.ld go into samadhi3 a timeless state of rapt.re and bliss3 .ntil earthly
necessities called him bac9 to action:
J
It 0as d.ring one of the many con6ersations I had at !aanen abo.t Krishnam.rti
and his personal life that someone stated that Krishnam.rti polished his o0n
shoes: That he en1oyed reading detecti6e stories and 0atching #esterns on
tele6ision so.nded e6en more sensational: I 0as shoc9ed: Co.ld these claims be
tr.e4 If so3 ho0 co.ld they be reconciled 0ith my image of 0hat a -odhisatt6a
did in his free time4
-y coincidence3 Krishnam.rti to.ched on this iss.e d.ring one of the
follo0ing disc.ssions: 2I don*t read any boo9s at all3 nor ha6e I read any of the
so8called sacred boo9s: I really mean itK I only read 0ee9ly magaGines and
detecti6e stories35 he declared amidst la.ghter from the a.dience: I realiGed that
my information abo.t enlightenment and enlightened beings deri6ed e?cl.si6ely
from sacred boo9s and traditional hearsay: Therefore3 my ass.mptions might be
.tterly false3 and the only thing I co.ld do 0as discard them and find o.t for
myself: This intensified my c.riosity abo.t the person Krishnam.rti and his daily
life:
J
The e?perience of being 0ith a tho.sand people and listening to this ri6eting
in@.iry into the heights and depths of h.man conscio.sness created a sense of
togetherness bet0een my fello0 listeners3 myself and the spea9er:
#hen3 after a tal93 he dashed off 0ith long3 determined strides along the
narro0 road I felt an .rge to follo0 him: Often an eager gro.p of admirers 0o.ld
r.sh o6er and cl.ster aro.nd him as he left the tentK he 0o.ld @.ic9ly brea9
a0ay3 friendly b.t determined: "t other times3 someone might 0al9 alongside
him to e?change some 0ords3 e?press their gratit.de or simply try to prolong the
pleas.re of being in his presence: )e 0o.ld good8nat.redly tolerate it3 altho.gh
the person might be hard pressed to 9eep pace 0ith him: " fe0 times I tried to
catch .p 0ith him only to see him snatched a0ay by the same Mercedes that he
arri6ed in3 cha.ffe.red by an elegant lady: #hile he 0as s0iftly striding along3
the car 0o.ld p.ll .p ne?t to him3 he 0o.ld get in3 and they 0o.ld dri6e off
to0ard &staad:
J
Ma9ing discreet in@.iries3 I fo.nd that Krishnam.rti li6ed in a chalet in the .pper
part of &staad3 some distance abo6e the famo.s +alace )otel: One s.nny
afternoon I hi9ed .p 0ooded lanes to this chic area3 that afforded spectac.lar
6ie0s of sno0y ranges beyond c.r6ing green hills: "t a sharp t.rn of the road3 I
disco6ered the name HTannegg*3 painted in ill.minated letters on the front of a
large 0ooden b.ilding:
My heart beat faster 0ith the e?citement and 1oy of disco6ery: This 0as
0here Krishnam.rti li6ed3 and e6ery afternoon3 I had been told3 he 0ent for a
0al9: If I 0aited aro.nd3 I might catch a glimpse of him lea6ing or entering the
chalet: -.t I felt rather shy abo.t my c.riosity and didn*t 0ant to be seen
cond.cting this co6ert s.r6eillance: Therefore3 I retreated to the ho.se across the
road3 0hich appeared .nocc.pied at the time and had a good 6ie0 of the
dri6e0ay and doors of Chalet Tannegg: I hid behind one of the large3 flo0ering
b.shes adorning an o6al la0n in front of the ho.se and simply 0aited: The
afternoon s.nrays 0ere pleasant on my s9in3 as I lay on a patch of fragrant grass
and loo9ed .p into the bl.e of the s9y3 0atching the mo6ements of a fe0 clo.ds:
6ery so often I 0o.ld s.r6ey the road to see if he 0as coming into 6ie0:
"fter abo.t t0enty min.tes three people came 0al9ing do0n the road to0ard
the chalet: I d.c9ed lo0 behind the yello08flo0ered b.sh3 peering thro.gh the
foliage: One of the three 0as indeed Krishnam.rti: The t0o ladies follo0ing him
0ere animatedly con6ersing 0ith each other: One of them3 of delicate b.ild3 I
recogniGed as the dri6er of the Mercedes3 0hile the other 0oman appeared rather
st.rdy and tall: I remained o.t of sight and 9ept 0atching Krishnam.rti closely:
"ltho.gh my spying acti6ity triggered a g.ilty pang of conscience3 I yet felt a
strange thrill 0atching him:
!.ddenly3 he reacted3 as if he 0as a0are of someone 0atching him: )e
appeared startled3 loo9ed aro.nd @.ic9ly and began to 0al9 faster: Keeping his
body close to the stone 0all of the dri6e0ay3 as if see9ing its protection3 he
h.rried to0ard the door of the chalet and s0iftly entered: "fter the t0o ladies had
also gone into the chalet3 I emerged from behind the b.shes and too9 a 0al9
.phill to0ard the forest from 0here they had 1.st come:
J
" fe0 days later3 on a bright mid8morning3 I 0ent to b.y a copy of the
International )erald Trib.ne at the rail0ay station 9ios9 in &staad: -efore
crossing the b.sy street3 I loo9ed to my left3 then to my rightCand all at once he
0as there3 standing right ne?t to me:
#ith great delight I e?claimed3 2Krishna1i3 sirL )o0 are yo.45
I 0as not s.re 0hether he remembered any of o.r pre6io.s enco.nters in
'ishi /alley and Madras se6eral months before3 nor did it seem to matter at this
moment: )e smiled as 0e affectionately shoo9 hands and e?plained3 2I*6e been
gi6ing some tal9s o6er in !aanen:5
The simplicity and modesty 0ith 0hich he .ttered the statement 0as
poignant:
27es3 sir35 I responded enth.siastically3 2I*6e been attending the tal9s: They
are tr.ly magnificent: Than9 yo.3 sir:5
)e caref.lly scr.tiniGed my face: 27o. are from California3 aren*t yo.45 he
as9ed:
2#ell3 yes35 I ans0ered3 falling into step beside him as he crossed to the
side0al9 opposite: 2I*6e li6ed there for @.ite a fe0 years:5
"s 0e 0ere strolling along and con6ersing3 0ith a lot of pedestrian and car
traffic all aro.nd3 I s.ddenly 0ondered 0hat he 0as doing here by himself: )e
ans0ered my @.estion as if I had spo9en it o.t lo.d3 2I*m 0aiting for some
friends:5
"t that moment3 a car Goomed by 0ith a lo.d roar and a dar9 clo.d of e?ha.st
f.mes: Krishnam.rti shoo9 his head in disappro6al3 2They are all dri6ing so fast
these days:5
I conc.rred3 27es3 it*s really dangero.s3 e6en in the center of to0n: "nd the
horrible poll.tion:::5
)e abr.ptly stopped3 pointing at a Mercedes 0hich had p.lled o6er on the
other side of the road3 in front of the terrace of the )otel -erner )of: 2There they
are35 he e?claimed: 2They ha6e come to pic9 me .p: &ood8bye3 sir:5
)e @.ic9ly shoo9 my hand3 and I co.ld only say3 2&ood8bye3 sir: Than9 yo.
6ery m.chL5
"nd he 0as already crossing the street to0ard the car: I 0istf.lly 0atched his
energetic 0al93 0ith the torso .pright and the long arms s0inging in a rela?ed
rhythm:
"s I 0atched the car dri6e off3 I became a0are of an .nso.ght sense of 1oy
0elling .p 0ithin me: I fo.nd that I fre@.ently e?perienced this 9ind of sensation
0hen coming into contact 0ith Krishnam.rti3 and the 6ery randomness of o.r
enco.nter 1.st moments ago seemed to enhance its intensity:
J
That first s.mmer in !aanen 0as sheer magic for me3 a time of disco6ering ne0
things3 of del6ing into the comple?ity of my mental and emotional processes3
ma9ing ne0 friends3 and opening .p to nat.re: -.t breathing the rare perf.me
that emanated from o.r mornings 0ith Krishnam.rti in the large tent by the
ri6erside 0as the cr.cial element: It 0as a great3 harmonio.s gathering of h.man
beings 0illing to @.estion the 0ays of society and themsel6es: "t the end of the
month8long &athering3 one did not feel sadness abo.t its coming to an end3 b.t
rather felt enriched beyond meas.re and open to the li6ing moment:
J
#hile at !aanen3 I learned that t0o years earlier3 in 19B93 an international
boarding school had been started in ngland by Krishnam.rti: Called -roc90ood
+ar93 it 0as located near the ancient capital of #inchester3 in the do0nland
co.nty of )ampshire3 abo.t si?ty miles from $ondon: "t the beginning of
!eptember there 0as going to be a series of fo.r tal9s and t0o disc.ssions there:
I too9 little time to ma9e .p my mind to 6isit the so.th of ngland for that
occasion:
It 0asn*t far from !0itGerland to &ermany3 0here for t0o 0ee9s I 6isited my
mother3 0ho li6ed in a city called Krefeld in the northern 'hineland: ,rom there I
tra6eled to ngland: "part from the fact that the traffic dro6e on the left8hand
side of the road3 I didn*t find it too diffic.lt to ma9e my 0ay to +etersfield3
0hence it 0as only a fe0 miles to -roc90ood +ar9:
The road off the main high0ay 0as bordered on either side by arching copper
beeches: It led to an entrance gate3 from 0here a narro0 dri6e0ay 0o.nd
bet0een meado0s to an 1;th8cent.ry 0hite mansion: Ne?t to the ho.se 0as a
red8bric9 0ater to0er ad1oined by a large garden and a rose garden: !ome
distance a0ay from the comple? of b.ildings3 an arboret.m3 called the &ro6e3
0as ab.ndant 0ith a great 6ariety of magnificent trees from all o6er the 0orld3
incl.ding se6eral giant se@.oias: On the bac9 la0n3 an imposing3 t0o8h.ndred8
year8old cedar of $ebanon dominated the manic.red la0n: -roc90ood +ar9
clearly 0as a tree lo6er*s paradise:
Ne?t to a small apple orchard3 a large tent had been set .p for the &athering3
0hich attracted a tho.sand or more 6isitors3 some of 0hom camped in the fields
ad1acent: ,or abo.t t0o 0ee9s a festi6e atmosphere enli6ened the gro.nds:
The tal9s and disc.ssions at -roc90ood +ar9 had a friendly3 almost intimate
feel abo.t them3 0ith la.ghter and ease and a nat.ral sense of propriety: On the
days of the meetings3 l.nch 0o.ld be ser6ed after the tal9 or dialog.e in a second
tent that 0as connected to the tal9 tent: On those occasions it 0as a lo6ely
s.rprise to see Krishnam.rti mingle 0ith the 6isitors: $istening to the Hchap on
the platform*3 as he sometimes referred to himself3 0as a profo.nd e?perience3
b.t obser6ing him in e6eryday interaction 0ith others added a special element:
%ressed 0ith cas.al elegance3 balancing a paper plate 0ith food in one hand3 he
co.ld be seen amiably con6ersing 0ith 0hoe6er approached him: It felt as if 0e
had been in6ited into his home to share in his life:
!ince I 0as helping as a 6ol.nteer in the tent and the garden3 I 0as sometimes
in6ited to ha6e l.nch in the dining8hall of the main b.ilding: More than a
h.ndred staff3 st.dents and g.ests too9 their meals there: I 0as thrilled to
disco6er Krishnam.rti among them: ,or some reason3 I fo.nd it fascinating to
0atch him in ordinary3 daily sit.ations3 perhaps beca.se I associated him so
m.ch 0ith 0hat 0e consider lofty p.rs.its: )is manners and gest.res3 and the
0ay he held himself3 0ere e?emplary: "t moments 0hen I secretly obser6ed him
eat3 or con6erse and la.gh 0ith a neighbor3 or fall silent3 @.ietly gaGing o.t o6er
the people sitting at the long3 0ooden dining tables in front of him3 I felt a sense
of 0onder and great gratit.de: I tho.ght I had come in contact 0ith goodness3
0hich 0as manifesting thro.gh this man: "ll at once it 0as 6isible all aro.nd me:
J
"fter the -roc90ood +ar9 tal9s had ended3 I stayed on for another month3
0or9ing as a 6ol.nteer in the 6egetable garden: It 0as a ne0 e?perience for me to
li6e and 0or9 in a comm.nal conte?t at a residential school: #hat lent it special
significance 0ere the reg.lar meetings that Krishnam.rti had 0ith staff and
st.dents3 to 0hich the 6ol.nteers 0ere also in6ited: More intensely than e6er I
felt that my life 0as starting ane0 each morning:
6en so3 the time came to say good8bye3 and I ret.rned to California in the
fall of 1971: I had m.ch to contemplate3 and a life in relati6e solit.de appealed to
me: "ll 0inter long I li6ed a simple3 hermit8li9e e?istence in a small cabin in the
0oods near Mendocino3 a h.ndred miles north of !an ,rancisco: 6ery so often I
0o.ld re1oin ci6iliGation and 6isit friends in !an ,rancisco and -er9eley: %.ring
one of these o.tings in the spring of 197M3 I 0ent to $os "ngeles and learned that
Krishnam.rti 0as in California at the time: )e 0as going to gi6e a series of
p.blic tal9s first at the nearby !anta Monica Ci6ic ".ditori.m and then at the
$ibbey -o0l in O1ai: It 0as less than a month hence3 and I decided to stay in the
area:
One of my friends from O1ai told me that he had attended a small gro.p
disc.ssion 0ith Krishnam.rti at a ho.se in Malib. a fe0 days earlier: "t this
ne0s3 an o6erpo0ering sense of c.riosity arose in me3 and I e?citedly in@.ired
0here it 0as: "ltho.gh my friend co.ldn*t recall the e?act address3 he 0as able
to describe 6ario.s landmar9s3 0hich helped me trace the appro?imate location
of the ho.se along the +acific Coast )igh0ay3 0here Krishnam.rti 0as
apparently residing: -y coincidence3 I had been staying 0ith friends at Topanga
Canyon3 0hich 0as only a fe0 miles so.th of there: ,or reasons that I did not
analyGe I felt that it 0o.ld be both 0onderf.l and important to ha6e direct
personal contact 0ith Krishnam.rti3 if possible:
J
Off the b.sy fo.r8lane high0ay3 a dri6e0ay slanted .p0ard to a gate bet0een the
careta9er*s cottage and a la0n 0ith trees and b.shes: " modern3 one8story3 bric98
and80ood b.ilding 0as perched on a promontory3 0ith a daGGling 6ie0 of the
6ast +acific Ocean: #hen I rang the bell a middle8aged lady 0ith an apron on
opened the door of the cottage: 2&ood afternoon35 I said: 2+lease e?c.se me3 b.t
does Mr: Krishnam.rti li6e here45
2#ait here for a moment3 please35 she ans0ered3 and 0itho.t any f.rther
@.estions she sc.rried off to0ard the main ho.se:
I loo9ed aro.nd3 str.c9 by the bea.ty of the s.rro.ndings: "fter a short 0hile3
someone came to0ard me o.t of the ho.se: ,or an instant I too9 him for a yo.ng
boy3 dressed in bl.e 1eans3 long8slee6ed3 grey cotton shirt3 and sandals: " s.dden
0a6e of 0armth and 1oy rose 0ithin me as I recogniGed Krishnam.rti:
$ong strands of 0hite hair 0ere playf.lly tossed .p by a g.st of air as he
approached: )esitatingly I too9 a fe0 steps to0ard him: "nd3 all at once3 0e
0ere h.gging each other: It seemed @.ite incredible: I had no idea 0hether he
recalled any of o.r pre6io.s enco.nters: It 0as simply a gest.re of tremendo.s
affection3 and I felt li9e a h.ge bear h.gging a delicate child: Completely
o6er0helmed by this spontaneo.s display of affection3 I co.ld only stammer3
2It*s good to see yo.3 Krishna1iL5 6er since India and -roc90ood +ar93 I had
been .sing this form of address3 0hich e6erybody seemed to be .sing: The s.ffi?
85i denotes both respect and endearment: There 0as a 0onderf.l smile on his face
as he ga6e me a gentle pat on the sho.lder and as9ed3 2#here are yo. coming
from no03 sir45
ach time I loo9ed into his face I 0as str.c9 ane0 by the sense of affection
and bright intelligence that it manifested: 2I*6e been li6ing .p in Mendocino
Co.nty3 north of !an ,rancisco3 for the past si? months: I*6e come do0n here to
attend yo.r tal9s in !anta Monica and O1ai: "t the moment3 I*m staying 0ith
friends in Topanga Canyon3 1.st a fe0 miles so.th of here35 I e?plained:
)e calmly regarded me 0ith large3 almond8shaped eyes that 0ere li9e dar9
mirrors: 2)o0 old are yo.3 sir45 he as9ed as he t.rned aro.nd3 leading the 0ay
into the ho.se:
2I*m t0enty8eight3 sir35 I responded3 follo0ing him past the manic.red la0n:
2"h3 yo.*re still @.ite yo.ng35 he remar9ed:
#hile he 0as opening the sliding glass door3 I p.lled a folded sheet of paper
from my shirt poc9et and handed it to him: )e regarded it 0ith a p.GGled
e?pression as he too9 it:
2It*s a poem3 sir35 I e?plained3 adding 0ith self8conscio.s hesitation3 2I*6e
0ritten it for yo.:5
2"h3 than9 yo.35 he said: 2%o yo. mind if I read it later45
2Of co.rse not3 sir35 I responded3 2it*s yo.rs:5
2"ll right3 sir35 he said3 leading the 0ay into the 9itchen:
It 0as a 0ell8e@.ipped3 modern 9itchen3 spar9lingly clean: The lady in the
apron 0ho had recei6ed me 0as b.sy at the sin9:
2#o.ld yo. li9e any tea or coffee45 Krishnam.rti as9ed:
I hesitated for a moment3 s.rprised at his offer: Then I replied3 2#ell3 yes3
than9 yo.: !ome coffee 0o.ld be nice:5
)e pointed at one of the tall stools by the 9itchen co.nter3 indicating I sho.ld
sit do0n: 2!he is going to gi6e yo. some coffee35 he said: #ith that3 he e?tended
his hand and said3 2+lease e?c.se me3 I ha6e to ta9e care of some things:5
+artly glad and partly disappointed that o.r togetherness had come to s.ch a
s.dden end3 I co.ld only m.tter3 2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1iL5
"nd 6ery s0iftly and @.ietly he 0as gone: In a flash3 I had a sensation of
absence and emptiness:
2%o yo. ta9e cream and s.gar45 the lady as9ed from the other side of the
co.nter:
27es3 please35 I ans0ered and started to stir the drin9 she had placed in front
of me:
J
The tal9 at !anta Monica 0as the first of Krishnam.rti*s that I attended in the
(nited !tates: It also 0as the first time there 0as an admission charge for a tal9A
the pre6io.s tal9s 0ere entirely co6ered by donations: The cost of renting the
!anta Monica Ci6ic ".ditori.m 0as apparently @.ite high and needed to be
defrayed directly:
It 0as a s.nny !at.rday morning in March3 and the large balconied hall 0as
filled 0ith an a.dience of predominantly !o.thern Californians: I 0as s.rprised
to see Krishnam.rti dressed in a s.it3 sitting on a chair in the middle of the stage3
0ith a microphone in front of him: )e started o.t rather sternly and3 thro.gho.t
the tal93 maintained a serio.sness that contrasted 0ith the cas.al mood of the
a.dience:
J
T0o 0ee9s later3 shortly before the O1ai Tal9s3 I again felt a strong .rge to see
Krishnam.rti at the ho.se in Malib.: I had gi6en m.ch tho.ght to form.lating a
.ni@.e @.estion 0hich might engage him in some sort of dialog.e: -.t it 0asn*t
easy3 since in his tal9s he had already raised3 and implicitly ans0ered3 all the
f.ndamental @.estions that I co.ld en6ision: 6en @.estions that I 0as barely
a0are of3 that 0ere dormant in some hidden corner of my mind3 he appeared to
bring o.t into the open and form.late in 6ery simple3 intelligible lang.age:
#hat I really 0anted to as9 him abo.t 0as the man himself and his daily life3
b.t I tho.ght it might be improper to as9 @.estions of a highly personal nat.re:
-esides3 any mere 6erbal ans0er 0o.ld hardly ha6e s.fficed3 either3 since my
c.rio.s brain 0anted to see3 0atch and e?perience him at firsthand: I 0anted a
taste of the real thing: "nd3 at the moment3 he 0as the real thing:
J
It 0as another s.nny morning as I arri6ed at the lo6ely ho.se off the +acific
Coast )igh0ay and rang the doorbell: Krishnam.rti himself opened the door and
0elcomed me into the li6ing room: "s 0e 0al9ed in3 I 0as frantically re6ie0ing
the @.estion I had constr.cted: #all8siGed 0indo0s pro6ided a st.nning 6ie0 of
the deep8bl.e ocean3 reflecting the brilliant s.nlight li9e a giant mirror: #hile 0e
0ere still standing in the middle of the room3 I t.rned to0ard him and as9ed3
2Krishna1i3 may I as9 yo. a @.estion45
My simple initial @.estion seemed to charge the energy in the field aro.nd
himA one moment it had been tran@.il3 the ne?t it 0as mirror8li9e and foc.sed:
)e faced me f.lly and said3 2&o ahead3 sir:5
I bro.ght o.t my @.estion3 in 0hich I had mingled a personal concern and a
pse.do8scientific con1ect.re: 2,or a long time I ha6e been dist.rbed by the
ceaseless chattering of my brain35 I said: 2There are constant tho.ght acti6ities3
0orries3 fears3 desires3 plans and dreams going on: -.t yo. say that thin9ing is
merely a material process:5
)is listening 0as intense3 and he 0as obser6ing me closely 0hile I spo9e:
27es3 sir35 he said: 2#hat is yo.r @.estion45
2Co.ldn*t it be that it is the .nceasing motion of the electrons in the atoms of
the brain that ca.ses this .nending chattering45 I as9ed:
,or the briefest of moments I tho.ght I detected a glint of s.rprise in his eyes
on hearing my @.estion: )e pa.sed for a moment3 as if still listeningK then he
simply said3 2,ind o.t3 sir:5
That my @.estion bo.nced off him so easily .nner6ed me a bit3 and I co.ldn*t
@.ite find an angle to p.rs.e my line of reasoning: I 0as at a loss for 0ords3 and
he seemed to be a0are of my helplessness and eased o.r con6ersation to0ard
more m.ndane matters: )e as9ed me if I had already had l.nch: #hen I
ans0ered in the negati6e3 he promptly led me into the 9itchen3 sitting me do0n
on one of the stools:
2!he 0ill gi6e yo. some food35 he said3 referring to the lady coo9 0ho 0as
0ashing dishes behind the co.nter:
I 0as still prof.sely than9ing him 0hen he ga6e me a parting handsha9e: "s
an aftertho.ght3 he added 0ith a smile3 2Au$ 1iedersehen65 -efore I 9ne0 it he
had left the 9itchen3 and I remained eating a salad: "ltho.gh at one le6el I 0as
disappointed that I hadn*t s.cceeded in in6ol6ing him in a dialog.e3 I yet felt a
lightness and strange sense of elation:
Cha%ter 3
T ) ! C O N % T I M " ' O ( N %
<: Krishnam.rti
Krishnamurti7s 8otebook
Time is alwa"s re%eatin# its challen#e
and its %roblems+ the res%onses and answers
are concerned with the immediate.
1e are taken u% with
the immediate challen#e
and with the immediate re%l" to it.
This immediate answer
to the immediate call
is worldliness* with all its
indissoluble %roblems and a#onies...
...the answer is be"ond the immediate.
The year 197M sa0 me follo0ing3 more or less3 in Krishnam.rti*s footsteps: "fter
attending the t0o tal9s at the $ibbey -o0l in O1ai at the beginning of "pril3 I
tra6eled to .rope for the !aanen &atherings in <.ly and ".g.st3 follo0ed by the
-roc90ood +ar9 Tal9s in !eptember: I stayed on at the !chool as a 6ol.nteer
0or9er for abo.t t0o months3 d.ring 0hich time I 0as able to participate in the
meetings Krishnam.rti reg.larly had 0ith staff and st.dents: They 0ere
dialog.es of great openness and affection3 and here more than at any other place I
e?perienced Krishnam.rti as a bene6olent patriarch:
Not long after he left for India3 I also departed for the "sian s.bcontinent3 in
No6ember: "fter a series of tal9s in Ne0 %elhi3 it 0as so.th again3 to Madras: I
fo.nd o.t that Krishnam.rti 0as staying at the same ho.se off &reen0ays 'oad
0here I had first listened to him the pre6io.s year: Than9s to a n.mber of small
coincidences3 his gracef.l hostess3 a b.siness 0oman3 e?tended her hospitality to
me3 allo0ing me to stay for one 0ee9 in the temporary %andal that 0as being
b.ilt in the large co.rtyard of her ho.se: It 0as a 0ooden str.ct.re 0ith a
thatched roof3 open on all sides3 0ith a small platform at one endK the grassy area
belo0 it 0as co6ered 0ith carpets: Krishnam.rti 0as going to gi6e his tal9s hereK
and3 in addition3 se6eral m.sical performances 0ere going to be staged in his
honor: )is o0n room 0as only forty yards a0ay3 on the opposite side of the
co.rtyard: I felt a great thrill3 and a sense of pri6ilege3 to be able to li6e so close
to him: The tropical night air 0as pleasant for o.tdoor sleeping3 and the lady of
the ho.se not only sa0 to it that I had the .se of a bathroom3 b.t also arranged
that her ser6ants ser6ed me tea and reg.lar meals in my ma9eshift habitat:
#hat I partic.larly cherished abo.t this temporary sit.ation 0as that3 d.ring
the follo0ing days and nights3 I 0as able to obser6e Krishnam.rti at close
@.arters: ,rom my location beneath the %andal3 I co.ld clearly see him thro.gh
the latticed 0indo0 and open door of his room3 as he mo6ed abo.t3 sat 0riting at
his des93 came and 0ent: It 0as inspiring for me to 0atch him inhabit his
personal space3 0hich I someho0 imagined to be 6aster3 freer3 emptier than mine3
altho.gh at the same time I sa0 the f.tility of ind.lging in comparisons of that
9ind:
I tried to 9eep a respectf.l distance3 an?io.s not to bother him in any 0ay3
altho.gh o.r hostess certainly had informed him of my presence3 and he 0as 0ell
a0are of it: 6ery so often3 0hen he stepped o.t of his room at da0n3 or in the
afternoon after his siesta3 he 0elcomed me 0ith a friendly 0a6e of his hand: "nd
I 0o.ld silently respond 0ith a similar gest.re from my end of the co.rtyard: It
did not feel as if there 0as any distance bet0een .s3 rather a 9ind of neighborly
togetherness:
J
%.ring the second day of my stay at the ho.se3 I 0as on the point of going for an
e6ening stroll thro.gh the neighborhood: The light of d.s9 0as already
descending3 shro.ding the earth in that per6asi6e glo03 pec.liar to the tropics:
!.ddenly I enco.ntered Krishnam.rti3 0ho 0as by himself and 1.st lea6ing the
property:
I greeted him in Indian namaste fashion3 2&ood e6ening3 Krishna1iL5
)is gaGe @.ietly too9 me in before there 0as a brief flash of recognition3 and3
holding o.t his hands3 he too9 mine into both of his3 sha9ing them slightly in
0estern fashion: The smooth3 cool to.ch of his fingers 0as as delicate as sil9:
2"h3 good e6ening3 sir35 he replied: 27o. ha6e come: )o0 did yo. get here45
"ss.ming that he did not care for small tal93 I replied3 2?c.se me3 sir3 are
yo. 1.st on yo.r 0ay to ta9e an e6ening 0al94 %o yo. mind if I tag along45
)e ga6e an affectionate smile: 2"ll right sir3 come along: I*m only going for a
short 0al9 this e6eningA to the corner and bac9:5
"gain I e?perienced the special sense of being ta9en into a realm of complete
openness and clarity3 0itho.t barriers and yet sheltered and safe3 a sensation I
often felt in his company:
,or some moments 0e 0al9ed in silence along the d.s98shro.ded &reen0ays
'oad: ".to8ric9sha0s and cars passed .s on either side of the road3 noisily
blo0ing their horns: -.lloc9 carts 0ith h.ge 0heels slo0ly rolled by: "nd in
front of corner tea8stalls3 ill.mined by oil lamps and na9ed b.lbs3 men 0ere
s@.atting and chatting 0ith each other3 smo9ing and sipping tea: 6ery0here
there seemed to be children3 scampering abo.t 0ith shrie9s of la.ghter3 or
plainti6ely crying and see9ing their mother*s comfort:
I started reco.nting ho0 I had made my 0ay o.t to India: 2+artic.larly in
.rope3 I 0o.ld hitchhi9e from one city to the ne?t35 I said:
2)o0 do yo. do that45 he as9ed:
I ga6e a brief 6is.al demonstration of my hitchhi9ing techni@.e by stepping
into the road and holding .p my th.mb: This made him la.gh:
2%o yo. go 0ith any old car that stops45 he as9ed:
2Of co.rse3 it has to go 0here one intends to go3 or at least in that direction:
"nd it m.st also appear safe to go 0ith the people in the 6ehicle35 I e?plained: "s
I proceeded to tell him in some detail abo.t the =3III8mile tre9 from Central
.rope to !o.th India 6ia &reece3 "sia Minor3 Iran3 "fghanistan and +a9istan3
he appeared impressed by my acco.nt of the ad6ent.ro.s 1o.rney: )e 0as
c.rio.s abo.t some of the co.ntries 0hich he had ne6er 6isited3 li9e Iran and
"fghanistan3 as9ing @.estions 0hich I had to scramble to ans0er 0ith any degree
of acc.racy:
"s the noct.rnal shado0s 0ere gro0ing deeper3 lights 0ere coming on along
the road and in ho.ses: )alting in front of o.r common residence3 Krishnam.rti
grabbed my arm 0ith one of his characteristic3 affectionate gest.res:
2&ood night3 sir35 he said3 2see yo. tomorro0:5
"nd entering the ho.se3 he gently closed the door behind him:
2&ood night3 Krishna1i35 I called after him:
J
-eing so close to him not only ga6e me a chance to obser6e the co.rse of his
daily lifeK it also imb.ed my o0n life 0ith a rhythm of contemplati6e tran@.illity3
the li9e of 0hich I had ne6er 9no0n before:
"t a certain le6el3 his life seemed to be simplicity itself: )e did his morning
e?ercises3 yoga and %rana"ama3 and too9 his meals in the ho.se3 often in
companyK he 0rote at his des9 0hat I too9 to be correspondence and diary3 since
he did not prepare his tal9s b.t spo9e e?temporaneo.sly3 from the essence of the
sit.ation at hand: In the afternoon3 he too9 an after8l.nch siesta: "n ho.r or t0o
before s.nset he 0o.ld go for a 0al93 often 0ith friends3 0ho too9 him by car to
nearby "dyar beach: "part from gi6ing p.blic tal9s and dialog.es3 he had
fre@.ent meetings 0ith his associates: The other 6isitors he recei6ed came to pay
obeisance3 often 0ith a ceremonial offering of flo0ers and bas9ets of fr.it: It 0as
part of the ancient Indian tradition to see9 darshan3 the presence of a religio.s
teacher or g.r.3 and be highly de6otional to0ard that person:
I obser6ed an e?ample of this 9ind of de6otion d.ring one of the fe0 m.sical
performances staged in honor of Krishnam.rti: One of the most famo.s !o.th
Indian singers3 M:!: !.bb.la9shmi3 a 0oman 0ith an angelic 6oice3 sang
de6otional songs beneath the %andal in front of a large a.dience3 incl.ding
Krishnam.rti: "fter the enchanting t0o8ho.r performance3 the lady descended
from the stage and paid homage to him by going do0n on her 9nees and to.ching
his feet 0ith her fingertips: "ltho.gh he did not care for s.ch beha6ior3 he good8
nat.redly tolerated this p.blic display of de6otion3 in t.rn draping a garland of
1asmine and pl.meria blossoms ro.nd her nec9:
J
It 0as the day after the Madras tal9s: I 9ne0 that Krishnam.rti 0as going to
depart for 'ishi /alley 6ery early in the morning and had steeled myself to rise
for the occasion: It 0as still dar93 and I 0atched from a distance as the
"mbassador car p.lled .p in front of the small fo.ntain and lot.s pool3 adorned
by an iron stat.e of !hi6a Natara1: $ights 0ere t.rned on and ser6ants began
loading the car 0ith s.itcases: There 0as a slight chill in the air3 and 0hen I
loo9ed at the bright stars o6erhead3 I co.ld only detect the most min.te indication
of da0n3 a single strea9 of light in the east: !.ddenly all the ser6ants
ceremonio.sly lined .p ne?t to the car3 and the cha.ffe.r opened the door on the
passenger side: I @.ic9ly strode o6er and stood a fe0 feet behind them:
"ccompanied by his hostess and one of his associates3 Krishnam.rti 0al9ed .p
to the car and @.ietly responded in 9ind to the solemn namaste that 0e 0ere
offering: )e loo9ed frail as he got into the car3 0rapped in a 0oolen sha0l: "s
the 6ehicle p.lled o.t of the co.rtyard3 I felt a strange sense of absence and loss:
" 0ee9 of li6ing in physical pro?imity to him had enabled me to get glimpses of
his simple3 radiant life b.t had also created a form of attachment 0ithin me: "nd
no0 that it 0as o6er3 I felt both enriched and bereft3 e6en tho.gh the ne?t day I
0as going to follo0 him to 'ishi /alley:
J
"t 'ishi /alley3 and some 0ee9s later at -angalore3 I sa0 a lot less of
Krishnam.rti3 e?cept on tal9 days: "t -ombay3 the teeming metropolis on the
"rabian !ea3 he li6ed in a part of the city called Malabar )ill3 near the To0ers of
!ilence3 the >oroastrian b.rial gro.nds: "fter locating the ho.se 0ith some
diffic.lty3 I rang the bell in the hope of meeting him: )is hostess3 a po0erf.l3
aristocratic lady3 recei6ed me cordially3 and3 after offering me some tea3
informed me that he 0as staying in the ho.se b.t 0asn*t seeing anybody: !he
re6ealed3 ho0e6er3 that in the late afternoons he .s.ally 0ent for a 0al9 in the
nearby )anging &ardens3 and that I might possibly see him there:
This so.nded intrig.ing eno.gh for me to find my 0ay to the p.blic par9
o6erloo9ing the crescent bay3 cro0ded 0ith highrise b.ildings: The )anging
&ardens t.rned o.t to be a topiary garden3 0hose shr.bs 0ere clipped into the
ornamental shapes of elephants3 tigers and other animals: <.st before s.nset h.ge
cro0ds3 almost 0itho.t e?ception dressed in loose3 0hite clothing3 thronged the
path0ays of the gardens: ,or a moment I 0ondered 0hether they had all come to
see Krishnam.rti: %iscarding this notion as .nli9ely3 I as9ed myself ho0 I might
possibly detect him among this densely pac9ed m.ltit.de:
!.ddenly I sa0 him: )e 0as 0al9ing e?tremely fast3 almost r.nning3 aro.nd
the central la0n of the gardens: ,i6e or si? people 0ere frantically trying to 9eep
pace3 0itho.t e6er @.ite catching .p 0ith him: (nder the circ.mstances3 it
seemed abs.rd to e6en 0ant to greet him3 so I simply 0atched him from a
distance: I mar6eled at his stamina3 ho03 0itho.t slo0ing do0n3 he 0al9ed ro.nd
the la0n again and again for abo.t half an ho.r3 before setting off for home3 his
companions in to03 0hile the saffron light of d.s9 s.ff.sed e6erything 0ith a
great stillness:
J
"fter the -ombay tal9s3 I first tra6eled to .rope and from there 0ent on to
California3 since I had learned that Krishnam.rti 0as going to spea9 in both !an
,rancisco and O1ai: In early March3 197F3 he ga6e fo.r p.blic tal9s at the
Masonic Temple in the City by the -ay: It 0as a special delight to listen to him
in this 0onderf.l metropolis3 0here I had spent a n.mber of years:
"b.ndant spring rains had transformed California into a land of l.sh8green
hills and 6alleys3 0ith carpets of golden poppies and bl.e l.pins along the
high0ays: %.ring the dri6e so.th to0ard O1ai3 I tho.ght I had ne6er e?perienced
the earth and its bea.ty more poignantly:
T.rning off the 1I1 free0ay at /ent.ra3 I entered the O1ai /alley on high0ay
FF: The changing colorf.l panorama in front of me enchanted all my senses: The
6alley bo0l 0ith its .nd.lating conto.rs and geometric patterns of orange gro6es
0as bathed in the glo0 of the setting s.n: The crests and folds of the mo.ntains
0ere sharply etched in 6iolet and p.rple shado0s3 contrasted by bright patches of
yello0 and green: "n enormo.s sense of stillness en6eloped the earth and the
l.mino.s s9y: It felt as if I 0as entering a scene of magic and profo.nd bea.ty:
On a s.n8bright !at.rday morning in "pril3 Krishnam.rti 0as gi6ing the first
of fo.r tal9s at the $ibbey -o0l in O1ai: " breeGe 0as r.stling the sycamore
lea6es3 as a side8door opened and the slender3 dimin.ti6e fig.re stepped into the
limelight of the amphitheater3 the ran9s of 0hich 0ere filled 0ith a tho.sand
people or more: )e 0as dressed 0ith modest elegance in dar98grey3 sharp8
creased tro.sers3 highly8polished3 red8bro0n cordo6ans3 and a long8slee6ed 9nit
shirt: I noted that the -ordea.?8red of his shirt matched the color of the one I 0as
0earing: "s he stepped for0ard3 I mar6eled at ho0 complete he appeared in
himself and the sense of foc.sed stillness that en6eloped him:
Once seated on the chair in the middle of the large stage3 a small microphone
stand in front of him3 he gaGed 0ith impert.rbable calm at the many faces that
0ere 0atching him:
#hen finally he began to spea93 he seemed to be addressing each person
singly and e6eryone collecti6ely at the same time: )e spo9e of tho.ght and the
fragmentation it had ca.sed on all le6els of e?istenceK he spo9e of pleas.re and
fear3 of the bea.ty of nat.re3 of death3 lo6e and meditation3 .nra6eling the 0hole
spectr.m of h.man life: Then3 after a concl.ding inter6al of silence3 he gest.red
to people to get .p3 as he fo.nd it impolite to get .p before they did:
!.ddenly I remembered a poem 0hich I had recently 0ritten and intended to
gi6e to him: I 0as sitting in the third ro0 and noticed a passage0ay from the
stage to the road3 screened off by a 0ooden enclos.re 0ith a door: I @.ic9ly
0al9ed o6er there and fo.nd the door .nloc9ed: Nobody b.t myselfCin contrast
to !aanen and IndiaCappeared to be r.shing to see9 post8tal9 contact 0ith the
spea9er: I @.ietly slipped thro.gh the door and3 t.rning aro.nd3 fo.nd myself
face to face 0ith Krishnam.rti:
My first sensation 0as silent shoc9 and a th.ndero.s heartbeat of recognition:
Then I instincti6ely p.lled bac93 afraid that I had intr.ded into his sphere of
pri6acy: )e 0as by himself3 leaning 0ith one arm on a table3 as if catching his
breath after a marathon r.n: There 0as a faint fl.sh across his face3 and his eyes
had an .n.s.al glo0: 7et he seemed neither s.rprised nor dist.rbed by my
.ne?pected appearance3 b.t only 0atched me 0ith @.iet detachment:
I had ne6er seen him li9e thatA trem.lo.sly fragile and .tterly 6.lnerable: I
felt embarrassed by my o0n massi6eness: My gest.re of handing him a piece of
paper 0ith a poem on it appeared l.dicro.s in the conte?t of the moment: -.t I
did it anyho03 stammering3 2Than9 yo.3 sir: Than9 yo.:5
)e accepted the sheet of paper 0ith trembling hands and loo9ed at it3 p.GGled3
as if .nable to decipher it:
2It*s a poem I*6e 0ritten for yo.3 sir35 I e?plained 0ith a 6oice that so.nded
rather alien to me:
2"ll right3 sir: I*ll read it later3 if yo. don*t mind:5
I didn*t 9no0 0hat else to say: "fter an inter6al of silence that seemed
endless he shoo9 my hand3 saying3 2Than9 yo.3 sir: &ood8bye:5
I felt immense gratit.de and friendship to0ard him as he t.rned and 0al9ed
o.t to the road:
J
That same year3 I 0as dra0n again to the s.mmer tal9s at !aanen: I helped 0ith
the setting8.p of the tent by the ri6erside: One afternoon3 se6eral of .s 0ere b.sy
finishing off the 1ob3 since the tal9s 0ere to start the follo0ing day: I 0as digging
a ditch aro.nd the tent o6erhang: <.st then3 a Mercedes sedan dro6e .p and rolled
to a stop at the side e?it: " 1olt of e?citement shot thro.gh me 0hen I recogniGed
Krishnam.rti stepping o.t of the car: The lady 0ho accompanied him3 of almost
e@.al height and stat.re3 0as dressed 0ith elegant b.t s.bd.ed sophistication: "s
they 0al9ed aro.nd the tent3 caref.lly st.dying the inside and o.tside details3
Krishnam.rti greeted each person they enco.ntered: I 0as inside the tent 0hen
they entered the large geodesic space: -oth of them recogniGed me from o.r
pre6io.s enco.nters3 and I felt a 0a6e of 1oy 0hen Krishnam.rti addressed me
by my first name: I stammered3 2It*s 0onderf.l to see yo. again3 sir: #e*re
almost finished 0ith getting the tent ready for tomorro0:5
2It*s @.ite a bit of 0or93 isn*t it45 he remar9ed:
"fter e?changing a fe0 0ords 0ith his companion3 he as9ed me3 2#o.ld yo.
mind3 sir3 going .p on that platform and sitting on the chair for a moment45
2Of co.rse not3 sir35 I replied3 briefly be0ildered by the re@.est: "s I 0al9ed
onto the stage3 I felt a little a090ard3 and conflicting tho.ght signals crossed my
mind as to the p.rpose of the e?ercise:
27es3 please3 sir3 sit do0n on the chair35 he repeated3 0hen he noticed my
slight hesitation:
$o0ering myself onto the 0ooden chair3 I 0as for a moment tempted to
ass.me one of Krishnam.rti*s characteristic posesA holding the edge of the seat
0ith both hands and sitting on them: Krishnam.rti and the lady 0al9ed .p the
aisle to the far end of the tent3 chec9ing the angles of 6isibility3 0hile I sat there
in immobile silence3 loo9ing o.t o6er the empty ran9s of 0ooden benches:
2Co.ld yo. please mo6e the chair a bit to the left45 Krishnam.rti called o.t
from the bac9 ro0:
Mo6ing the chair3 I 0atched @.ietly as they cons.lted 0ith one another: "s I
0as sitting there on the platform3 in the spea9er*s place3 it occ.rred to me ho0
inherently contradictory it 0as to imitate him3 or anyone else: !im.ltaneo.sly3 I
realiGed that I did 0ant to be li9e him3 or 0hate6er I imagined him to be li9e: I
0anted to lead a life 0itho.t conflict3 to ha6e a silent mind of compassion and
serenity3 and yet f.ll of e?traordinary energy and li6eliness:
#hile these tho.ghts 0ere crossing my mind3 Krishnam.rti 0a6ed from the
bac93 calling across the ro0s of empty benches3 2Than9 yo.3 sir:5
27o.*re 0elcome3 sir35 I ans0ered and 0al9ed off the stage to contin.e 0ith
the preparatory 0or9:
'art Two
J
$ ( N C ) ! # I T )
K ' I ! ) N " M ( ' T I
Cha%ter 9
I N T ) / " $ $ 7
O , T ) M O O N
Starters
Tossed green salad with a choice of
vinaigrette or yogurt dressing.
A selection of raw vegetables: sliced tomatoes,
sliced cucumbers, cubed celery and
grated carrots with lemon and honey.
Lentil soup with peppers, onions, celery,
carrots, tomatoes and parsley.
Main Dishes
Steamed whole brown rice
with slivered almonds.
Ratatouille, containing garlic, onions,
mushrooms, bell peppers, zucchini,
tomatoes and eggplant, served with
freshly grated ruy!re cheese.
Dessert
Tropical fruit salad, with pineapple,
papaya, bananas, tangerines and peaches,
garnished with slices of fresh coconut.
"fter attending the tal9s at -roc90ood +ar9 and those at Ne0 %elhi in
No6ember3 I to.red !o.theast "sia for a year3 e6ent.ally arri6ing at the $and of
the 'ising !.n d.ring the ume8blossom season of 197=: #hile teaching at a
pri6ate school in Kyoto3 I 0ent thro.gh an intense period3 e?amining the co.rse
and the te?t.re of my life: The introd.ction to Krishnam.rti*s 0or9 had radically
altered my o.tloo9 on life3 and the sporadic personal contact 0ith him o6er the
past fo.r years had opened a door to 0hat I tho.ght 0as another dimension of
conscio.sness: -.t it 0as only a glimpse of the promised land3 something that I
seemed far from realiGing in my o0n life: My mind8set of searching for the
sacred 0as f.lly operati6e3 and li6ing in c.lt.res 0ith a -.ddhist tradition3 li9e
Nepal3 $aos3 Thailand and <apan3 pro6ided me 0ith a compelling insight into the
fact that any religio.s .nderta9ing3 once organiGed and instit.tionaliGed3 0o.ld
res.lt in predominantly empty forms3 s.perstitions3 dogmas3 and rit.als3 a0ay
from the li6ing essence of the tr.th:
!eeing this3 I 0ondered 0hether it might not be possible to 0or9 together
0ith li9e8minded people in a conte?t 0itho.t po0er hierarchies3 conflict3
competition and press.re3 and 0itho.t falling into the traps that all3 or most3
instit.tions fall into: I longed to 0or9 at something meaningf.l3 beyond the
narro0 perimeters of self8interest that I obser6ed all aro.nd me and 0ithin
myself3 something 0hich might carry the potential of transforming h.man
conscio.sness:
<.st then3 I recei6ed a letter from a friend in O1ai3 informing me that a ne0
Krishnam.rti !chool 0as going to start there in !eptember: There 0ere still some
1ob openingsCfor a gardener3 coo9 and maintenance manCthat I co.ld apply for
if I 0as interested: This 0as li9e a message from hea6en3 e?actly ans0ering my
@.estions and longings: I got on the phone and called my friend in O1ai to
confirm that I 0as indeed interested in 0or9ing at the school3 in 0hate6er
capacity:
I had met "lan )oo9er and his 0ife )elen at 'ishi /alley in 197M3 and 0e
had str.c9 .p a correspondence: They 0ere the o0ners of the famo.s 'anch
)o.se 'esta.rant3 pop.lar 0ith a great many film and stage celebrities: )e
s.ggested that I stop o6er at !aanen for the Tal9s there3 before coming on to
California: That so.nded li9e an e?cellent plan3 and 0e agreed to meet in
!0itGerland in <.ly:
J
$istening to Krishnam.rti in !aanen that year 0as an entirely ne0 e?perience for
meCli9e listening to him for the first time: Of co.rse3 I had heard the 0ords
before3 had read them3 pondered them: -.t 0hat he managed to con6ey in the
tent by the ri6erside had a @.ality of re6ol.tionary ne0ness: The prospect of
0or9ing 0ith him on the ne0 ed.cational pro1ect in O1ai filled me 0ith a sense
of being in6ol6ed in an enterprise of 6ital importance for h.manity:
J
#hen I arri6ed at O1ai in mid8".g.st3 I fo.nd myself in a completely ne0
sit.ation: The first s.rprise 0as the bea.ty of the 6alley at the height of s.mmer3
hot and dry3 0ith that pec.liar star9ness of the desert region3 the strong scent of
s.mac and sage3 and a night s9y of brilliant stars: The property 0here I li6ed and
0or9ed 0as at the east end of the 6alleyK it 0as a large ranch8style b.ilding
constr.cted in the early part of the cent.ry and s.rro.nded by a doGen acres of
orange and a6ocado gro6es: It 0as appropriately called "rya /ihara3 ":/: for
short3 the !ans9rit 0ords for Hnoble abode*3 and Krishnam.rti3 his brother3 and
other fig.res associated 0ith him3 had li6ed here since 19MM: "part from the
orchards3 there 0as an ab.ndance of 6egetationA e.calypt.s3 cypress3 pine3 fig3
persimmon and many other 6arieties of trees3 as 0ell as different 9inds of
flo0ering b.shes3 s.ch as oleander3 rose3 and 1asmine: This lo6ely estate 0as not
only to be the residence of the school staff3 b.t also 0as to contain the
classrooms3 at least .ntil the time 0hen the ne0 school b.ildings at the other end
of the 6alley3 ne?t to the Oa9 &ro6e3 0o.ld be ready for .se:
The greatest s.rprise for me 0as 0hen I learned that I 0as to be the school
coo9: ,or a moment I 0as .tterly speechless3 since I had nai6ely imagined that I
0o.ld ha6e a choice in the matter: I had3 in fact3 fancied myself as the gardener
and gro.ndsman3 altho.gh my e?perience of gardens 0as 6irt.ally nil: -.t it
didn*t ta9e me long to ad1.st internally to this radically different sit.ation: There
0as great freedom in starting from scratch3 from absol.te Gero: I realiGed that I
didn*t 9no0 a thing and3 therefore3 0as free to disco6er and find o.t for myself: I
did not harbor any pretense abo.t my ability and importance and felt li9e a child3
free to roam and e?plore: This state of mind also allo0ed me to del6e deeply into
c.linary matters: One circ.mstance 0hich helped me immensely in slo0ly
ac@.iring the art of coo9ing 0as the pro?imity of the )oo9ers3 0ho for starters
presented me 0ith one of the 6egetarian coo9boo9s
M
that "lan had 0ritten:
,or the ne?t fe0 months I st.died it from co6er to co6er3 learning abo.t herbs
and spices3 meas.ring3 chopping3 stirring and testing: It became a c.linary bible3
of sorts3 and it t.rned o.t to be e?tremely con6enient that the a.thor 0as present
to ans0er @.estions and to teach me hands8on the tric9s of the trade: In fact3 both
"lan and )elen 0ere magnificent teachers3 ne6er asserting themsel6es3 ne6er
imposing anything or p.lling ran93 b.t only offering to helpA the tr.e 0ay of the
teacherCto allo0 the st.dent3 e6en if he is an ignoram.s3 to do it his 0ay3 and
only lending a helping hand 0hen necessary:
"nother factor 0hich helped me ease into my ne0 role of marshaling the art
of 6egetarian c.isine 0as the circ.mstance that the combined n.mber of st.dents
and staff seldom e?ceeded ten3 at least d.ring my first fe0 months at ":/: 6en
so3 I 0as not at all imm.ne from that c.rio.s psychological malady that afflicts
so many people ca.ght in balancing career and pri6ate life3 namelyA tension3
stress3 or simply time press.re: In my case3 of co.rse3 it 0as to a large degree
ca.sed by the hands of the 9itchen cloc93 that ine?orably dictated the l.nch or
dinner ho.r:
#hen the director specified my responsibilities as the !chool chef as 0ell as
the ,o.ndation*s3 he made clear that preparing meals for Krishnam.rti d.ring his
6isits to O1ai 0as part of the 1ob: This 0as another great s.rprise3 0hich shoc9ed3
concerned and delighted me: I 0as still 6ery m.ch in need of broadening my
c.linary e?pertise and3 therefore3 felt .nder@.alified for a tas9 of that order:
-esides3 I sa0 coo9ing for Krishnam.rti as a tremendo.s responsibility: #hat if
something 0ent 0rong4
-.t3 at another le6el3 I felt elated by this .ne?pected aspect of my position: It
certainly 0as a pri6ilege and honor to coo9 for someone 0hom one admired and
cherished3 and3 in addition to ac@.iring ne0 techni@.es and recipes3 I tried to find
o.t as m.ch as possible abo.t Krishnam.rti*s li9es and disli9es in food: "gain3 it
0as primarily "lan 0ho 0as able to fill me in on the basic essentials of coo9ing
for K: )e had not only coo9ed for him on many occasions d.ring the past
t0enty8fi6e years3 b.t had also been instr.mental in setting .p the 9itchen at the
-roc90ood +ar9 !chool:
#ithin a basic 6egetarian diet Krishnam.rti*s dietary restrictions 0ere fe0A
no rich food3 0hich meant minimal .se of fats and oils and of dairy prod.ctsK
a6oidance of b.tter and cream altogether3 as 0ell as of refined flo.r and s.gar
prod.cts3 and other processed food: No sharp3 hot spices3 li9e cayenne peppers:
(se of the freshest prod.ce a6ailable3 of organic origin3 if possible:
!ince Krishnam.rti .s.ally arri6ed in California to0ard the end of ,ebr.ary3 I
had almost half a year to refine my coo9ing s9ills and become adept at preparing
food to his li9ing:
J
!.ddenly3 in late October3 197=3 something li9e a state of emergency 0as
declared in my mind: It 0as ca.se for both alarm and 1oyA Krishnam.rti had
canceled his .s.al three8month trip to India and 0as going to come to California
instead: The reason for this dramatic change 0as that3 earlier in the year3 the
Indian prime minister Indira &andhi had declared a state of emergency3 0hich
mandated prior censorship of all p.blications3 media transmissions3 and p.blic
presentations: Tal9s li9e Krishnam.rti*s fell into the latter category3 and3 since he
0as .n0illing to operate .nder s.ch restraints3 he had canceled his 6isit to India
o.tright: There 0as some irony in this3 since the prime minister fre@.ently so.ght
his spirit.al and perhaps e6en practical co.nsel: -.t3 e6en if special e?emption
from the emergency reg.lations 0ere offered him3 he clearly 0o.ld not accept
s.ch fa6ors: Th.s3 he came to California:
"t first he stayed in Malib. b.t e6ent.ally3 0e ass.med3 he 0o.ld come to
6isit the ne0 school in O1ai:
It 0as an .n.s.ally 0arm3 s.nny morning in No6ember and the ne0s had
spread fast that Krishnam.rti 0as going to 6isit .s at ":/: and stay for l.nch: I
immediately sa0 this as my first great test3 demonstrating 0hat I had learned in
the field of the c.linary arts d.ring the past three months: It 0as a challenge
0hich both stim.lated and scared me:
It 0as a blessing that "lan and )elen appeared t0o ho.rs before l.nch8time
to help 0ith the preparation of the meal and the setting of the table: %espite the
a.spicio.s occasion3 I 0asn*t in any mood for e?tra6agant or e?perimental
c.isine b.t simply 0anted to play it safe: The l.ncheon for fo.rteen started 0ith
a tossed green salad3 0ith a choice of 6inaigrette or yog.rt dressing3 accompanied
by a selection of ra0 6egetablesA sliced tomatoes3 sliced c.c.mbers3 c.bed celery
and grated carrots3 the latter to.ched .p 0ith lemon and honey: This 0as
follo0ed by a lentil so.p 0hich contained peppers3 onions3 celery3 carrots3
tomatoes3 and parsley3 all finely c.t: The main dishes 0ere steamedA 0hole
bro0n rice3 adorned 0ith sli6ered almonds3 and a fragrant ste0 of ratato.ille3
containing garlic and onions3 m.shrooms and bell peppers3 G.cchini and
tomatoes3 and eggplant3 c.t in fairly large ch.n9s and initially coo9ed separately
0ith their respecti6e herbs3 before being combined in one pot and simmered
slo0ly to 0hat one hoped 0as perfection: !ome freshly grated &r.yNre cheese
0as offered on the side:
I 0as 1.st in the middle of preparing the dessert3 a tropical fr.it salad3
consisting of pineapple3 papaya3 bananas3 tangerines3 and peaches3 embellished
0ith sli6ers of fresh cocon.t3 0hen the director came h.rrying into the 9itchen:
)e told me that Krishnam.rti 0as on his 0ay o6er from +ine Cottage3 his home
in O1ai since the early t0enties3 separated from the ":/: b.ildings by abo.t fifty
yards of orange gro6e: )e 0as going to meet the school staff in the sitting room
in a fe0 min.tes:
Meeting Krishnam.rti al0ays 0as an e?citing e6ent that I co.ld ne6er
entirely get acc.stomed to3 and seeing him no0 in my ne0 capacity of che$ de
cuisine made it especially thrilling: "fter t.rning off the gas8b.rners on the
range3 I remo6ed my apron and 0ent into my @.arters3 that ad1oined the 9itchen:
I @.ietly 0ashed and3 chec9ing in the mirror that I loo9ed some0hat presentable3
combed my hair and dabbed on a splash of cologne before 0al9ing thro.gh the
9itchen and dining8room into the library:
Tr.stees3 staff and 6ol.nteers3 a doGen people altogether3 0ere standing
aro.nd in small gro.ps3 con6ersing 0ith one another in respectf.l tones: It
loo9ed a bit li9e a scene from a drama3 in 0hich the actors 0ere comp.lsi6ely
entertaining one another3 9eeping each other in chec93 as it 0ere3 0hile the act.al
protagonist3 the foc.s of attention3 0as off by himself3 in6ol6ed in his o0n
internal monolog.e: !o it 0as hereA Krishnam.rti3 dressed 0ith simple elegance3
0as standing by himself in front of the boo9case that co6ered one 0all3 st.dying
the boo98spines3 e6ery once in a 0hile ta9ing o.t a 6ol.me and3 after briefly
per.sing it3 placing it bac9 on the shelf:
"ltho.gh I 9ne0 e6eryone in the room3 I felt rather shy and a bit ner6o.s and3
standing by myself3 0atched Krishnam.rti for a moment3 before the director3 a
tall man 0ith startlingly bl.e eyes3 noticed my pensi6e helplessness and gest.red
for me to approach3 so that he co.ld introd.ce me to Krishnam.rti:
2?c.se me3 Krishna1i35 he said to Krishnam.rti3 0ho t.rned aro.nd to face
.s3 a boo9 in his hands:
'eplacing the boo93 he ac9no0ledged3 27es3 sir:5
2!ir3 this is Michael Krohnen3 o.r ne0 coo9:5
2)o0 are yo.3 sir45 Krishnam.rti as9ed me as 0e shoo9 hands:
2Than9 yo.3 sir: It*s 0onderf.l to be here and 0or9 at the ne0 school: -.t I
still ha6e a lot to learn35 I ceremonio.sly remar9ed:
Neither of .s referred to o.r pre6io.s enco.nters3 nor 0as I s.re that he had
any recollection of them: It did not seem to matter3 since 0e 0ere in a ne0
config.ration of e6ents3 as if meeting for the first time: #hile I 0as still groping
for more to say3 o6erpo0ered by a s.rge of elation3 Krishnam.rti t.rned to
res.me the st.dy of the boo9 titles: !.ddenly I noticed on top of the boo9case3
1.st abo6e him3 an alabaster sc.lpt.re of the -.ddha*s head in the &andhara
style3 combining Indic and )ellenic feat.res3 and someho0 resembling
Krishnam.rti*s face:
"s I ret.rned to the 9itchen3 it occ.rred to me that I 0as not only a spectator
and a 0itness b.t also an actor in a play that 0as spontaneo.sly .nfolding3 the
form and o.tlines of 0hich I co.ld not yet fathom:
"fter I had p.t the finishing to.ches to the l.nch preparations3 0e carried the
dishes to the ser6ing table on the bac9 patio 1.st o.tside the 9itchen: It 0as still
pleasantly 0arm and s.nny3 and the t0o r.stic red0ood tables 0ith long benches
on either side of them 0ere set 0ith table8mats3 c.tlery and glasses3 0ith bread
and b.tter3 and pitchers 0ith 0ater3 mil9 and 1.ice: 6erybody lined .p to ser6e
themsel6es3 and I noticed that Krishnam.rti 0as the last in line: "fter I had
bro.ght a semblance of order to the 9itchen3 I too9 a plate for myself and stepped
behind himK he had 1.st started p.tting some food on his plate: )e m.st ha6e felt
my presence beca.se he t.rned aro.nd3 regarding me 0ith friendly eyes:
2"h3 Michael35 he said: !tepping aside to let me pass3 he .rged me politely3
2+lease3 sir3 go ahead:5
2No3 please3 sir35 I apologiGed 0ith some firmness3 2it 0o.ldn*t be proper that
I precede yo.A the person 0ho prepares the food sho.ld go last: I mean3 it*s
al0ays li9e thatCin the home3 at ban@.ets3 and so on:5
There 0as a s0ift spar9le of delight in his eyes as he listened to my arg.ment3
0atching me closely: 2"ll right3 sir35 he admitted 0ith a la.gh3 gi6ing his 0ords
a playf.lly formal emphasis3 2yo.*ll be the last in line:5
Of the t0o places left at the tables3 he chose the one in the shade: I sat a fe0
seats a0ay from him3 b.t almost in6ol.ntarily my glance 0o.ld 0ander in his
direction: Che0ing his food3 he 0as @.ietly follo0ing the lo089ey con6ersation
that flo0ed bet0een .s: )e seemed rather shy and3 0hen as9ed a @.estion3 he
ans0ered briefly b.t politely: It 0as only 0hen the tal9 t.rned to cars3 speed
limits3 and traffic reg.lations in different co.ntries3 that his interest per9ed .p: 2I
0as going ninety miles an ho.r on the !0iss a.toro.te earlier this s.mmer35 he
reco.nted enth.siastically3 and3 noting the shoc9ed s.rprise among some of the
g.ests3 added3 2It*s not against the la0 there: "nd it 0as @.ite safe3 I 0as dri6ing
a Mercedes:5
!ome of .s la.ghed3 as 0e en6isioned him racing along:
2I m.st tell yo. this 1o9e35 he started3 b.t then as9ed some0hat p.c9ishly3
2There aren*t any Christians here45
2#e*re all Christians3 Krishna1i35 one lady responded 1o9ingly3 2or most of .s
0ereC.ntil 0e heard yo.:5 More la.ghter:
2"ll right3 then yo. 0on*t mind if I tell yo. this 1o9e abo.t hea6en35 he
contin.ed: 2" man dies3 Mr: !mith3 a .sed8car salesman3 and goes to hea6en: !t:
+eter recei6es him at the +early &ates and3 going o6er his daily list3 says to him3
H"ll right3 Mr: !mith3 yo.*6e led a fairly decent life3 didn*t commit too many
sins3 yo. can enter hea6en: "ny 0ish yo. ha6e3 0e 0ill f.lfill:* The man
immediately says3 H"h3 I*6e al0ays 0anted to ha6e a brand8ne0 ,errari
con6ertible:* !t: +eter replies3 HThat*s no problem at all: #e*6e got any model3
color3 year yo. co.ld dream of: <.st follo0 me:* "nd he ta9es him to an immense
par9ing lot abo6e the clo.ds3 filled 0ith ro0s .pon ro0s of the most 0onderf.l
cars: H+ic9 any model yo. 0ant3* !t: +eter says to the man: !o he pic9s one to his
li9ing3 ne0 and highly polished: "nd !t: +eter says to him3 H-.t I ha6e to tell yo.
that 0e ha6e a speed limit .p hereCit*s a celestial la0A yo. can*t go o6er thirty8
fi6e miles per ho.r: 6erybody has to obey this la0K and if yo. transgress3 that*ll
be the end of that: I hope yo. .nderstand this:* "nd Mr: !mith agrees to it: "nd
so he happily dri6es aro.nd3 al0ays staying 0ithin the speed limit: Then one day3
a car Gooms past him at a h.ndred miles an ho.r: )e*s @.ite .pset by this and
dri6es o6er to !t: +eter: H" car 1.st passed me at a h.ndred miles an ho.r3* he
complains3 Hand I ha6e al0ays 9ept:::* !t: +eter interr.pts him: H#hat type of car
0as it4* he as9s: H#ell3 I thin9 it 0as a red con6ertible3 a +orsche3* Mr: !mith
ans0ers: H"nd did yo. see the dri6er4 %id he ha6e a beard and long hair4* !t:
+eter in@.ires: The man is s.rprised and says3 HThat*s right: )o0 did yo. 9no04*
H#ell3* says !t: +eter 0ith a sigh and a dismissi6e shr.g3 Hthere*s nothing 0e can
doCthat*s the boss*s son:*5
#e all bro9e o.t la.ghing3 not only abo.t the 1o9e itself3 b.t also abo.t the
am.sing 0ay Krishnam.rti told it3 0ith animated gest.res and comical facial
e?pressions: It 0as apparent that he too9 great delight in reco.nting it:
J
#hile classes for the initial three st.dents of the Oa9 &ro6e !chool3 as it had
recently been named3 0ere going on at ":/:3 the first school b.ilding3 the
+a6ilion3 0as being constr.cted abo.t se6en miles to the 0est3 at the other end of
the 6alley: Krishnam.rti and Mrs: Mary >imbalist3 his hostess and secretary3
came dri6ing .p from Malib. almost e6ery 0ee9end: They 0o.ld ta9e l.nch
0ith the resident staff at ":/:3 and I 0o.ld carry their dinner o6er to +ine
Cottage3 0here they stayed o6ernight: On s.nny days3 0e*d be ser6ing l.nch
o.tdoors on the bac9 patio:
These l.nch enco.nters 0ith Krishnam.rti had a certain to.ch of magic for
me: There 0as an ambiance of refinement and an ease of e?ploration that 0ere
@.ite .ni@.e: Moreo6er3 it 0as a great opport.nity to obser6e and interact 0ith
him: -.t in the beginning I felt too self8conscio.s to try to engage him in any
type of con6ersation other than ordinary small tal93 especially in the presence of
other people: 6ery so often3 ho0e6er3 0e 0o.ld ha6e an .ne?pected enco.nter
and con6erse abo.t all sorts of .nli9ely matters: One !at.rday3 as I 0as carrying
dishes from the 9itchen to the ser6ing table o.tside3 I s.ddenly fo.nd him
standing in front of the so8called Hfreedom machine* that 0e had fi?ed to the
patio 0all a fe0 days earlier: )e 0as caref.lly st.dying the contraption3 that
emitted a bl.ish radiance3 accompanied by a steady h.mming noise:
2#hat is this3 sir45 he as9ed me:
2#ell3 Krishna1i35 I said respectf.lly3 2it*s an electrical machine designed to
attract b.gs3 flies and other flying insects and to3 toCeliminate them:5
None of the reactions3 li9e re6.lsion or disg.st3 0hich I had anticipated he
might ha6e at the sight of the destr.cti6e apparat.s3 0ere forthcoming: )e
sho0ed only a type of cool scientific interest3 0itho.t any emotional or moral
1.dgment:
2)o0 does it attract them45 he in@.ired:
2I thin9 someho0 this bl.ish light e?cites them3 partic.larly at night35 I
con1ect.red:
2"nd ho0 does it 9ill them45 he contin.ed .nceremonio.sly3 .sing the 0ord I
had tried to a6oid: I 0as starting to feel ner6o.s and slightly .ncomfortable3 since
it 0as I 0ho had s.ggested the installation of the de6ice to get rid of the many
b.gs 0hich bred in the decaying fr.it on the gro.nd of the orange gro6e and 0ere
a considerable n.isance d.ring o.r l.nches al $resco:
27o. see this 0ire grating in front of the light t.bes4 It*s electrically charged:
#hen an insect flies to0ard the light3 it to.ches it 0ith its 0ings and gets
electroc.ted35 I e?plained:
<.st then3 as if to ill.strate my e?planation3 a fly fle0 to0ard the sed.cti6e
glo03 and3 as its fl.ttering 0ings str.c9 against a filament3 there 0as a tiny
e?plosion of spar9s accompanied by a sharp3 brief hiss: I s9eptically loo9ed at
him as he 0atched the deadly action of the machine: " stillness had come o6er
him3 and his eyes had the bright alertness of obser6ation: )e @.ic9ly stepped
bac9 at the siGGling so.nd b.t contin.ed to 0atch the process intensely3 .ntil the
abr.pt acti6ity had died do0n: T.rning to0ard me3 he stated matter8of8factly3
2It*s @.ite deadly3 isn*t it45
I 0as s.rprised that he so non81.dgmentally regarded both the insect8Gapping
machine and the fact that 0e .sed it here3 since in his tal9s and dialog.es he
emphatically condemned any 9illing of animals by man3 calling the 9illing of one
h.man being by another the greatest of e6ils: Nat.rally I concl.ded that this3 li9e
a dogma3 ine6itably co6ered e6erything: -.t dogma in any shape or form had
ob6io.sly nothing to do 0ith it: )is intelligence percei6ed the 0hole conte?t3
.nenc.mbered by ideals or beliefs and g.ided only by act.al factsK th.s capable
of operating in any fieldCe6en the smallest3 and seemingly tri6ial:
I nodded in response to his remar9 and pointed at a small pla@.e attached to
the appliance: 27o. see3 sir3 0hat they call it45
)e loo9ed closely and read3 2H,reedom Machine*: -y <o6eL5
I la.ghed o.t lo.d at this e?pression and at the parado?ical irony of the name:
Krishnam.rti briefly 1oined in 0ith my la.ghter3 before t.rning serio.s again:
2-.t it smells bad35 he remar9ed:
I shr.gged apologetically: 2+erhaps 0e sho.ld t.rn it off 0hile 0e*re ha6ing
l.nch35 I s.ggested:
2That*s a good idea3 sir35 he said and t.rned to enter the 9itchen thro.gh the
screen door:
Cha%ter :
& " T ) ' I N & ! # I T )
K ' I ! ) N " < I
Starters
Tossed green salad with a choice of
vinaigrette or creamy house dressing.
Sliced "icama, prepared with
lemon and minced parsley.
uacamole made with fuerte avocados.
Main Dishes
Steamed corn#on#the#cob.
$into beans coo%ed in a sauce of
tomato & chili sauce.
'hili rellenos: mild green chili peppers
stuffed with (onterey )ac% cheese and ba%ed
in a light mi*ture of eggs, mil% and flour.
Dessert
iant se+uoia strawberries, served with a
sauce of sour cream and sweet ginger.
The ne0s I recei6ed in mid8,ebr.ary 0as both intimidating and electrifying:
#ithin less than a month3 in March3 197B3 a si?8day conference 0ith
Krishnam.rti and more than t0enty scientists and academics from all o6er North
"merica 0as going to be ta9ing place at ":/: It had been organiGed by %r: %a6id
-ohm3 a close associate of Krishnam.rti3 .nder the theme3 2In a disintegrating
society3 0hat is the correct action for s.r6i6al in freedom45
It 0as going to affect me in more 0ays than one3 since I 0as to ta9e care of
all catering matters for this meeting: "ltogether3 there 0o.ld be bet0een forty8
fi6e and fifty l.nch g.ests3 incl.ding conferees3 spo.ses and staff: -arely si?
months into ac@.iring a basic modus o%erandi 0ith 6egetarian c.isine3 I3 the
no6ice3 0as to compose and prepare the l.nch and dinner men.s for the 0ee98
long e6ent: It seemed a da.nting tas93 b.t fort.nately "lan and )elen came3 both
to assist and to lend their e?pertise: In addition3 se6eral able 6ol.nteers
materialiGed3 0ho 0ere 0illing to gi6e a helping hand:
#hile the meals 0ere ser6ed at ":/:3 the conference itself too9 place at the
nearby home of Theo and rna $illiefelt3 tr.stees of the ,o.ndation and long8
time friends of Krishnam.rti: "fter each morning session3 the doctors and
professors and their spo.ses 0o.ld arri6e at ":/: in the early afternoon3 still
animated by the recent deliberations3 and 0o.ld contin.e disc.ssing the topics
d.ring l.nch: "midst the academics3 absorbed by their reasonings3 Krishnam.rti
seemed rather pensi6e3 almost reticent: It 0as fascinating to obser6e his
interaction 0ith the academic 0orld3 0hich3 on the one hand3 intrig.ed him and
0hich3 on the other3 he did not hesitate to lambaste: )e3 0ho had repeatedly
failed entrance e?aminations for 0ell89no0n nglish .ni6ersities and didn*t ha6e
a degree or title to his name3 0as challenging the assembled scientists and
professors in a f.ndamental 0ay:
On the first day of the meetings3 he e?ploded a psychological bomb in their
6ery midst by declaring that 2all tho.ght leads to sorro0:5 The absol.teness of
the simple statement not only @.estioned the fo.ndations of 9no0ledge on 0hich
the li6elihood and careers of most of those present depended3 it also implicitly
negated their personal and collecti6e 6al.e str.ct.res: It 0asn*t s.rprising
therefore3 that the .proar that follo0ed did not die do0n .ntil after the
conference 0as o6er:
The presence of se6eral flamboyant participants added to the heightened
sense of drama3 0hich pre6ailed thro.gho.t the seminar: arly on3 a professor
from a Canadian .ni6ersity e?hibited some0hat eccentric beha6ior: #hen he
fo.nd to his fr.stration that he 0o.ldn*t ha6e an opport.nity to present his
lengthy dissertation on the self3 he became r.de and lo.d: "fter some ab.si6e
sho.ting3 he departed premat.rely on the third day: One scholar from !o.thern
California 0ore a broad8brimmed co0boy hat 0ith a feather in it3 e6en 0hen he
sat do0n to eat: )e referred to it as his Hpo0er hat*3 a concept adopted from the
0ritings of Carlos Castaneda3 0ho at that time had started to become famo.s:
The professor endea6ored to dra0 parallels bet0een the teachings of the boo9s*
central character3 %on <.an3 and the teachings of Krishnam.rti: "n attracti6e
0oman in her late t0enties arri6ed incognito b.t ble0 her o0n co6er the
follo0ing day3 perhaps o.t of fr.stration that nobody recogniGed her: !he t.rned
o.t to be the 0ell89no0n spo.se of a national leader 0ith considerable celebrity
stat.s:
"midst all these hectic goings8on3 Krishnam.rti remained calm3 @.ietly
obser6ing 0hat 0as happening aro.nd him: %.ring one l.nch con6ersation that
dealt 0ith the conflict bet0een the t0o s.perpo0ers3 the (:!: and the !o6iet
(nion3 he all at once 1oined the con6ersation3 as9ing3 2May I tell yo. a 1o9e4
$ate at night3 a dr.n9 staggers across 'ed !@.are in front of the Kremlin3 singing
at the top of his 6oice3 H-reGhne6 is an idiotL -reGhne6 is an idiotL* Immediately3
se6eral K&- agents close in on him and ha.l him off to 1ail: The follo0ing
morning he appears before the 1.dge3 0ho declares his sentence3 HT0enty years
and t0o days of hard labor in !iberia:* The man cries o.t in disbelief3 HT0enty
years and t0o daysL4 -.t 0hy4 I 0as only dr.n9 in p.blic:* "nd the 1.dge
responds3 HT0o days are for being dr.n9 in p.blic: T0enty years for betraying a
state secret:*5
There 0as a ro.nd of la.ghter at the table3 and a fe0 of the professors
promptly reco.nted 1o9es of their o0n: Krishnam.rti listened 0ith rapt attention
to their stories3 la.ghing 0ith 0hole8hearted abandon abo.t some of them3 .ntil
there 0as a brief lapse of silence: Then he told another 1o9e from his repertoire:
27o. may remember the time 0hen the '.ssians p.t the first cosmona.ts into
space: (pon their ret.rn3 they 0ere feted at a mar6elo.s ban@.et at the Kremlin:
"ll the party leadership 0as there3 incl.ding Chairman -reGhne6: "s he 0as
pinning some medals to their chests3 he said to them in a lo0 6oice3 H+lease come
and see me in my @.arters later on:* They obediently agreed and 0ent to see him:
"nd he as9ed them3 H#hen yo. 0ere .p there in cosmic space abo6e the earth3
did yo. perhaps see a 6ery old man 0ith a long 0hite beard and a halo aro.nd his
head4* The cosmona.ts ans0ered3 H#ell3 yes3 Comrade Chairman3 0e did indeed
see someone li9e that .p there:* -reGhne6 nodded his head3 HThat*s 0hat I
tho.ght: -.t listen here3 comrades: Not a 0ord of this to anyoneL It*s a state
secret: If yo. tell anyone of this3 it*ll be !iberia and the &.lag for yo.: Is that
.nderstood4* The cosmona.ts ga6e a smart sal.te3 H7es3 Comrade Chairman:*
Ne?t3 they 0ent on a to.r of all the Comm.nist co.ntries of astern .rope and
also 6isited Italy3 0hich had a large Comm.nist party: The +ope heard of this and
in6ited them to a splendid ban@.et at the /atican: "fter0ards3 they 0ere led to
him for a special blessing3 and he as9ed them sotto voce3 H+lease come and see
me in my chambers:* The cosmona.ts mar6eled at the pri6ate papal @.arters3
0hich s.rpassed the Chairman*s in splendor and anti@.ity: "nd the +ope as9ed
them3 H#hen yo. 0ere .p there in o.ter space3 did yo. perhaps see an old man
0ith a long 0hite beard and a halo aro.nd his head4* The cosmona.ts loo9ed at
each other in s.rprise3 then shoo9 their heads3 HNo3 Comrade +ope3 0e didn*t see
anyone li9e that .p there:* The +ope pensi6ely stro9ed his chin3 H#ell3 that*s
0hat I tho.ght: -.t3 please3 don*t tell a so.l abo.t it:*5
"t that3 the 0hole table bro9e o.t in e?.berant la.ghter:
"t the end of the si?8day seminar3 there 0ere @.estions as to its s.ccess:
Krishnam.rti3 0ith his rigoro.s s9epticism3 do.bted that it had accomplished
0hat it set o.t to doA to e?amine the role of tho.ght and 9no0ledge in a
f.ndamentally ne0 0ay: ,rom the narro0 9itchen angle3 ho0e6er3 the
conference 0as a s.ccess: Not e6en those g.ests 0ho normally ate meat
complained abo.t the e?cl.si6ely 6egetarian fare 0e offered: In fact3 there 0ere a
n.mber of compliments3 and the occasional re@.est for a recipe: I felt it had been
a c.linary baptism by fire:
J
"t the beginning of "pril there 0ere t0o 0ee9s of p.blic tal9s at the Oa9 &ro6e:
They attracted se6eral tho.sand people from all o6er the co.ntry3 e6en from
o6erseas3 0ho gathered on the grass and sat on chairs beneath a canopy of li6e8
oa9s: It 0as a secl.ded area of 6irgin nat.re that had ne6er been b.ilt on or .sed
for commercial p.rposes: On the northern side of the &ro6e a platform had been
erected among the trees3 from 0hich Krishnam.rti3 sitting on a simple 0ooden
chair3 0o.ld be tal9ing to the assembled people: They 0ere a friendly cro0d3
easy8going and cas.al in the !o.thern Californian 0ay3 and sometimes eccentricA
a good cross8section of h.manity3 0ith 6ario.s races3 ethnicities3 classes and
ages:
In a society 0here entertainment not only played an important role b.t also
occ.pied a place in the s.n3 Krishnam.rti 0as most emphatic in pointing o.t that
this gathering 0as not an entertainment3 nor a lect.re3 nor any 9ind of
propaganda or preaching: ,or him3 it 0as in@.iring together into the many
problems of e?istenceK it 0as constant @.estioning3 do.bting3 and e?amining
together the 0ay 0e li6e o.r li6es: The 9ey 0ord 0as Htogether*: (nless there
0as this mo6ement of togetherness bet0een him3 the spea9er3 and .s3 the
listeners3 at the 6ery same moment3 the creati6e spar9 0o.ld be lost: The bl.e
mo.ntains in the bac9gro.nd3 the play of light and shade thro.gh the e6er8green
li6e8oa9s3 and the intense listening of the a.dience to the 0ords amplified
thro.gh lo.dspea9ers all combined to create in my mind the impression of an
e?alted e6ent:
J
"fter the O1ai Tal9s3 Krishnam.rti fle0 to Ne0 7or9 and from there to .rope
and India: This time3 ho0e6er3 my contin.ing responsibilities at the Oa9 &ro6e
!chool 9ept me from attending any of these gatherings3 and it 0asn*t .ntil the
follo0ing ,ebr.ary that 0e met again in O1ai:
" conference in March3 19773 sched.led to last for three 0ee9s3 0as to bring
together the tr.stees of the fi6e international Krishnam.rti ,o.ndations: These
nationally chartered instit.tions arranged his p.blic tal9s in their respecti6e
co.ntries3 managed p.blications and translations3 o6ersa0 the administration of
the 6ario.s schools bearing his name3 and collected the donations that s.pported
these acti6ities: "bo.t t0enty tr.stees from the (nited !tates3 Canada3 ngland3
India and $atin "merica had come to O1ai and se6eral of them 0ere staying at
":/: for the d.ration of the conference: It 0as my responsibility to coo9 for them
d.ring that time:
It 0as fascinating for me to see Krishnam.rti*s daily interaction 0ith his close
associates and friends of many years: On the one hand3 he 0as completely
democratic and egalitarian in the 0ay he treated those aro.nd him: ,rom the
simple 6ol.nteer3 gardener and coo9 to the s.ccessf.l b.sinessman and 0ell8to8
do aristocrat3 they all seemed to be the same to himK he treated e6eryone 0ith
e@.al respect and consideration: It 0asn*t only that he addressed e6eryone as Hsir*
or Hmadam*3 one co.ld act.ally see his deeply obser6ant3 affectionate concern
abo.t e6ery h.man being: "nimals3 flo0ers3 trees and the things of daily life
0ere not e?cl.ded from that gentle care and respect: I had ne6er seen a person
0ho 0as so 0ell8mannered3 in fact chi6alro.s3 0itho.t its being in any 0ay
affected or mechanical:
On the other hand3 I co.ldn*t help the impression of being at a so6ereign*s
co.rt3 0ith all sorts of s.btle and not8so8s.btle hierarchical distinctions: The
.ncontested foc.s of attention3 to 0hich e6eryone nat.rally paid deference3 0as
Krishnam.rti: )e 0as the ob1ect of affection3 0ith 0hom practically e6eryone
0as in lo6e3 and pro?imity to and distance from him appeared to besto0 a s.btle
ran9ing: -.t it 0as primarily .s 0ho created these psychological distinctions3
0ith their implicit comparisons and di6isi6e barriers:
6en so3 the l.nches 0ere delightf.l affairs3 and 0ith Krishnam.rti in o.r
midst3 0e felt li9e one large family3 for 0hom comparison3 en6y and 1ealo.sy
may not ha6e been entirely absent3 b.t 0here generally spea9ing3 good0ill
pre6ailed: "ltho.gh I did not ta9e part in the deliberations at the $illiefelts*
home3 I 0as able to glean eno.gh information from the l.nch8time con6ersations
that follo0ed3 and from the general mood and demeanor of the g.ests3 to gain an
impression of the meetings and their o6erall trend:
Clearly3 he 0as ta9ing them to tas9K their serio.s miens .pon arri6al for l.nch
at ":/: attested to that: They didn*t appear gloomy or depressed3 b.t rather
tho.ghtf.l and t.rned in0ardCas if someone had sho0n them a 1e0el3 the
radiance of 0hich emanated from their o0n hearts: (s.ally3 d.ring his meetings
0ith the staff or the p.blic3 he too9 .s to tas93 0itho.t any personal scolding or
nagging3 b.t rather mirroring 0hat 0e 0ere at that moment3 o.tlining3 so to
spea93 both the conto.rs and the essence of o.r li6es: -.t here3 among his friends
and co80or9ers3 he apparently 0ent beyond that3 @.estioning e6erything3
incl.ding their contrib.tion to his 0or93 as 0ell as to.ching .pon the f.t.re e6ent
of his death and ho0 it might affect them and the ,o.ndations: )is concern 0as
not abo.t their financial s.r6i6al3 nor abo.t the preser6ation of his recorded
0or93 b.t rather abo.t its li6ing @.alityA 0hether the flame co.ld be 9ept ali6e
beyond his personal death: #o.ld they 0ho had 0or9ed 0ith him for many years
be able to con6ey the sense and feeling of 0hat it had been li9e to li6e 0ith him
to a person 0ho had ne6er met him3 he as9ed his tr.stees: 2#hat 0ill yo. tell the
man from !eattle 0ho comes here to find o.t abo.t K3 0ho doesn*t 9no0 a thing
abo.t any of this4 )o0 0ill yo. con6ey it to him45 he as9ed 0ith great .rgency:
!.bse@.ently3 the fictitio.s man from !eattle became a bit of a legend:
"nd3 as if to fathom the strength of their commitment3 he rhetorically posited
the case of a disciple s.r6i6ing the -.ddha3 and as9ed 0hether they 0o.ld not
tra6el to the ends of the earth to meet s.ch a person in order to find o.t from him
0hat it had been li9e to li6e 0ith the -.ddha:
J
#hile all this 0as going on3 I 0as in the 9itchen3 preparing l.nch for abo.t
thirty8fi6e: The meal that day had a Me?ican theme3 consisting of green salad
0ith sliced 1icama3 g.acamole made 0ith f.erte a6ocados from o.r orchard3 and
steamed corn on the cob: In addition3 there 0ere pinto beans coo9ed in a chili
sa.ce and3 as the main dish3 chili rellenos3 green chili peppers st.ffed 0ith cheese
and3 rather than deep8fried3 ba9ed in a light mi?t.re of eggs3 mil9 and flo.r: The
dessert consisted of giant se@.oia stra0berries from the nearby O?nard fields3
ser6ed 0ith a sa.ce of so.r cream and s0eet ginger:
The tr.stees and other l.nch g.ests had already arri6ed and 0ere in the sitting
room3 animatedly con6ersing 0ith one another 0hile 0aiting for Krishnam.rti*s
arri6al: ,ifteen min.tes later3 he entered the 9itchen from the patio 0ith a3 2&ood
morning3 Michael35 altho.gh it 0as past one o*cloc9 in the afternoon: I stopped
0hat I 0as doing and t.rned my f.ll attention to0ard him: 2&ood morning3
Krishna1i35 I responded:
)e 0ore bl.e 1eans and a bl.e 0ool cardigan o6er a grey3 chec9ered cotton
shirt: )e loo9ed cheerf.l and carefree and as I loo9ed at him 0ith affection3 there
0as a s.dden feeling of being f.lly in the present moment3 a sense of 6ibrant
ne0ness that I often e?perienced in his presence:
2#hat*s for l.nch3 sir45 he as9ed3 stepping .p to the range to loo9 into the
pots: I ga6e a synopsis of the men.: #hen I mentioned the chili rellenos3 he said3
2"re they spicy45
2They may ha6e a little Ging35 I ans0ered3 2b.t I remo6ed the seeds and
membranes to ma9e them less hot:5
2Then I ha6e to be caref.l and only ta9e a small portion35 he remar9ed: #hile
I b.sied myself ta9ing a ceramic ba9ing dish o.t of the o6en3 he s.ddenly bro9e
into 1oyf.l la.ghter: )e responded to my c.rio.s loo9 by pointing at the small
r.bber stic9er that I had pinned to the refrigerator:
2HI*m not greedy3 I 1.st 0ant the 0hole thing*35 he read o.t lo.d3 la.ghing
delightedly3 2That*s 6ery goodK 0here did yo. get it45
2"lan ga6e it to me35 I e?plained: 2I tho.ght it had an appropriate ring:5
#iping tears from his eyes3 he as9ed 0ith a t0in9le3 2Is e6erything ready3 sir4
Can I tell them that l.nch is being ser6ed45
27es3 please3 Krishna1i: "ll that*s left to do is to ta9e the coo9ed food to the
ser6ing table:5
2Can I carry something45 he offered:
I hesitated for a brief moment and then pointed at the dish piled high 0ith
steaming corn8on8the8cob: 2If yo. don*t mind3 sir3 yo. can carry this dish:5 I
handed him t0o cloth potholders and held the a.tomatic screen8door open for
him as he caref.lly balanced the dish3 placing it on the ser6ing table in the patio3
before proceeding to the sitting8room to inform the g.ests that l.nch 0as ready:
I happened to be sitting 0ith him at the same table3 together 0ith eight other
g.ests3 most of 0hom 0ere tr.stees from India and the (:!: "t some point the
con6ersation t.rned to the traditional Indian belief that tr.th is transmitted from
master to disciple3 emphasiGing the 6al.e of being in the presence of an
enlightened person or spirit.al teacher3 0hich the )ind.s call darshan: +robably
e6eryone at the table 0as a0are that Krishnam.rti deeply @.estioned this
concept: #hile listening to the disc.ssion3 it occ.rred to me that most of .s here3
in one 0ay or another3 0ere parado?ically in the sit.ation of listening to the
master3 tho.gh in atten.ated circ.mstances:
Krishnam.rti had been follo0ing the con6ersation closely3 occasionally
contrib.ting some 0ords of his o0n3 0hen all at once a smile spread o6er his
face and he anno.nced3 2I ha6e to tell yo. a story:5 6eryone at the table fell
silent and t.rned to0ard him: 2" yo.ng man 0anting to find tr.th goes to see a
famo.s g.r.: HMaster3 can yo. teach me meditation and tr.th4* he as9s: The g.r.
agrees3 and the disciple immediately ass.mes the lot.s post.re3 closing his eyes
and breathing rhythmically to sho0 0hat he 9no0s: The master doesn*t say
anything b.t pic9s .p t0o stones from the gro.nd and starts r.bbing them against
each other: )earing the strange noise3 the disciple opens his eyes and as9s3
HMaster3 0hat are yo. doing4* The g.r. ans0ers3 HI*m r.bbing these t0o stones
against each other to polish them into a mirror so I can loo9 at myself:* The
disciple la.ghs3 H-.t master3 if yo. don*t mind my telling yo.A yo.*ll ne6er be
able to ma9e a mirror of these stones by r.bbing them against each other: 7o.
can do that fore6er3 and it 0on*t 0or9:* H!imilarly3 my friend3* the master says3
H7o. can sit li9e that fore6er3 b.t yo.*ll ne6er be meditating or .nderstanding
tr.th:*5
"ppreciati6e la.ghter er.pted aro.nd the table3 as he concl.ded the story 0ith
its m.ltifaceted applications:
J
"fter the international tr.stees* conference at ":/:3 he ga6e ten p.blic tal9s and
disc.ssions in the Oa9 &ro6e3 before tra6eling to Ne0 7or9 City for a 0ee9end
seminar 0ith psychiatrists and psychologists: -.t instead of going on to .rope3
as he .s.ally did3 he ret.rned to California to .ndergo a prostate operation at a
$os "ngeles hospital: "fter rec.perating for t0o 0ee9s in Malib.3 he 6isited
O1ai a fe0 times: "fter the first postoperati6e l.ncheon at ":/:3 he as9ed me to
get some cranberry 1.ice for him and to ser6e it d.ring meals3 0hich I promptly
did: <.st before l.nch the follo0ing day3 I ran into him on the terraced bac9 la0n
and3 c.rio.s abo.t his 1.ice preference3 as9ed him abo.t it: It 0as on the
recommendation of his doctors3 he e?plained3 that he 0as ta9ing this partic.lar
fr.it 1.ice3 since it cleansed the 9idneys and .rinary system: Then3 to my
astonishment3 he proceeded to pro6ide me 0ith a brief b.t detailed description of
the ailment that had afflicted him and the type of s.rgery he had 1.st .ndergone:
)e 0as @.ite ingen.o.s abo.t it3 0ith an innocence that mo6ed me deeply:
In the late afternoon3 I carried a tray 0ith his dinner to +ine Cottage: On my
ringing the bell3 he opened the door and I immediately felt a @.ality of
.nreser6ed friendliness3 of being in the presence of a person 0ho erected no
psychological barriers: "fter I had placed the tray on the dining table3 he said to
me3 2Michael3 co.ld yo. perhaps coo9 that so.p for me45
2Of co.rse3 Krishna1i35 I consented: 2#hich so.p are yo. thin9ing of45
27o. ha6e sometimes coo9ed a so.p 0ith beans in it3 se6eral different 9inds
of beans35 he e?plained: 2#hat do yo. call it45
"fter going thro.gh my internal inde? of so.p ingredients and recipes for
some seconds3 I retrie6ed a li9ely name3 2%o yo. mean the nine8bean so.p45
)e la.ghed: 27es3 that*s it: 7o. prepared it the other day: Mrs: >imbalist 0ill
be gone for a fe0 days3 and I*ll be by myself in Malib.: !o perhaps yo. co.ld
coo9 a large amo.nt of it and p.t it in gallon glass 1ars3 so that 0e can easily
transport and freeGe it:5
27o. don*t mind eating the same food for se6eral days in a ro0Cand froGen
at that45
2It*s a hearty and no.rishing so.p3 isn*t it4 +ractically a meal in itself: "nd all
I ha6e to do is heat it .p: I don*t 9no0 m.ch abo.t coo9ing b.t I can do that:5
2)a6e yo. ne6er coo9ed for yo.rself3 Krishna1i45
2#hen my brother and I first came to li6e here3 0e often prepared o.r meals:
!o 0e had to learn ho0 to ma9e toast3 fry eggs3 coo9 rice and so on35 he
reco.nted3 the recollection of those yo.thf.l days half a cent.ry ago ca.sing a
smile to spread o6er his face:
2"nd ho0 did it t.rn o.t45
2#e*d often b.rn things3 or they tasted simply a0f.l35 he 0ent on and started
to la.gh: 2Once I spent some time in the mo.ntains3 in the )igh !ierras 0ith the
magnificent se@.oias: I li6ed by myself in a cabin and prepared my o0n food: I
thre0 e6erything into one pot and 9ept stirring it .ntil it 0as one m.sh:5 )e 0as
la.ghing e?.berantly no03 his eyes spar9ling3 and his delight so infectio.s that I
co.ld not b.t share in his mirth: )e 0as mimic9ing the gest.res of thro0ing
many things into one pot and stirring them 6igoro.sly: O.r la.ghter created a
momentary bond of 1oy bet0een .s as his 0ords e6o9ed the image of the yo.ng3
ine?perienced Krishnam.rti in the mo.ntain h.t stirring his ste0:
2"nd35 I in@.ired3 20as it edible45
)e 9ept la.ghing3 tears rolling do0n his chee9s: 2I had no choice: There
0asn*t anything else to eat:5
"nother delicio.s 0a6e of liberating la.ghter s0ept o6er both of .s: Calming
do0n3 0e loo9ed at each other 0ith affection and 0itho.t embarrassment:
2)o0 many 1ars of the bean so.p 0o.ld yo. li9e3 Krishna1i4 7o. 9no0 that a
gallon is @.ite a bit:5
#iping his moist eyes 0ith a hand9erchief3 he agreed3 2"ll right3 sir: I thin9
t0o of them sho.ld be eno.gh:5
#hen he ret.rned to O1ai the follo0ing 0ee9end3 he told me pri6ately after
l.nch3 2Than9 yo. 6ery m.ch for the so.p3 sir: It 0as really @.ite delicio.s: #e
still ha6e half a 1ar of it: I didn*t realiGe it 0as that m.ch:5 "nd he rolled his
e?pressi6e eyes in comical s.rprise3 hastening to ass.re me3 2"nd 0e 0on*t
thro0 it a0ay3 sir: It 0ill 9eep for some time 0hen froGen3 0on*t it45
2If yo. 9eep it froGen it sho.ld stay edible for abo.t a month or so35 I
6ent.red:
"t the end of <.ne3 he left for .rope3 follo0ing his ann.al ro.nd of tal9s and
disc.ssions in !0itGerland3 ngland and India3 0hile I remained in O1ai attending
to the c.linary needs of the staff:
Cha%ter ;
# " I T I N & , O ' K ' I ! ) N " < I
Starters
(i*ed green salad with a variety of
fresh garden greens, with a choice of
vinaigrette or sesame#tahini dressing.
Alfalfa sprouts and radishes.
'herry tomatoes and sliced avocados
touched with lemon.
Main Dishes
,a%ed yams.
-ine#bean soup, made with
nine different beans and legumes,
with onions, bell peppers,
celery and carrots, parsley and chives.
.resh spinach leaves +uic%ly stir#fried
with a touch of olive oil & garlic.
Dessert
Apple crumble prepared with
grated apples, raisins and walnuts,
sweetened with honey and cinnamon,
a touch of lemon "uice/ ba%ed in the oven
and covered with a topping made from
oats, flour, sugar and butter,
served with whipped cream on the side.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
It 0as 197; and for the past fe0 months a series of rainstorms had been s0eeping
into California from the +acific Ocean3 lashing the coastal region 0ith destr.cti6e
force: ,arther inland3 the barrancas3 dry ri6erbeds3 had been t.rned into raging
torrents3 .prooting trees and s0eeping a0ay cars3 ho.ses and people:
-.t this partic.lar afternoon in late March 0as calm3 0ith an e?traordinarily
clear atmosphere3 0ashed clean of poll.tants and re6ealing the bea.ty of the
6alley in resplendent colors: " small gro.p of staff and tr.stees 0ere gathered
beneath the old pepper8tree in front of +ine Cottage3 a0aiting the arri6al of
Krishnam.rti: The tree had a massi6e tr.n9 0ith large3 b.lging prot.berances3
and its arching branches reached 0ide into space3 creating a dome of lacy lea6es
filtering the s.nrays: There 0ere h.ndreds of bees b.GGing amidst the tiny 0hite
blossoms3 dangling in long strands from the branches: The 0hole scene 0as a
pastoral image of peace:
There 0ere ten of .s 0aiting beneath the tree3 in front of the t0o8car garage3
from 0here a flagstone path led to +ine Cottage: The ho.se 0here Krishnam.rti
had li6ed since 19MM3 named after the pine trees that had once s.rro.nded it3 had
been thoro.ghly reb.ilt d.ring the past year: It 0as an elegant str.ct.re b.ilt
from adobe bric9s3 0hite0ashed3 0ith many large 0indo0s3 and since Mary >:
0as gi6ing .p her ho.se in Malib.3 Krishnam.rti 0as going to ma9e +ine
Cottage his home again: -y a fitting coincidence3 he had also 1.st been granted
permanent residency in the (nited !tates3 thereby becoming a Hresident alien*
and holder of a Hgreen card*:
!ome of .s 0ere sitting on the lo0 stone 0all 0hich protecti6ely s.rro.nded
the pepper8tree3 0hile others stood or paced abo.t on the asphalt t.rning8circle
bet0een tree and garage: The 0arm afternoon seemed to be f.ll of leis.re3 and an
easy3 amiable con6ersation 0as flo0ing bet0een .s:
I 0as sa.ntering bac9 and forth along the dri6e0ay3 some distance a0ay from
the others: I felt an odd mi?t.re of 1oyf.l stim.lation and great calm 0ithin me3
not only beca.se of seeing Krishnam.rti again3 b.t also beca.se of the entirely
ne0 and thrilling prospect of ha6ing him li6e in o.r midst for three 0hole
months of the year: It promised to be a great change for me and possibly for all of
.s at the !chool and ,o.ndation: It implied especially meeting him e6ery day
d.ring the three spring months3 since I 0as to prepare daily l.ncheons for him
and his g.ests at ":/: ,or that period3 I 0o.ld temporarily gi6e .p my other
d.ties at the school:
The s.nrays 0ere already slanting at a lo0 angle thro.gh the trees 0hen I
heard a car approaching: " moment later3 the grey Mercedes sedan appeared on
the long dri6e0ay thro.gh the orchard: 6eryone stopped tal9ing at the sight of
the car: Those 0ho had been sitting do0n got .p3 and it seemed that 0e
instincti6ely arranged o.rsel6es into an orderly line3 li9e a g.ard of honor: "fter
the sedan had rolled to a stop in front of the garage3 the passenger door s0.ng
openCand there he 0as3 loo9ing rather frail and thin3 in an elegant o.tfit of s.it
and tie: I felt a strong imp.lse to hold the door and help him o.t of the car3 b.t I
9ne0 that he 0as adamant in ref.sing help in most matters relating to his person:
)e slo0ly p.t his feet on the gro.nd3 p.shing himself o.t of the seat as he
held on to the door to steady himself: )is gaGe fell on the small3 0elcoming
gro.p standing at attention: There 0as an infinitesimal space of stillness3 a
moment of direct perception bet0een .s: Then a s.dden b.rst of la.ghter
shattered the silence: Krishnam.rti tic9led at the abs.rdity of the sit.ation3 0as
la.ghing o.t lo.d3 2#hy are yo. all standing there so solemnly45
"s if a0a9ened from a moment*s day8dream3 0e 1oined in 0ith his la.ghter3
as he s0iftly approached .s to sha9e hands 0ith e6eryone in t.rn3 e?changing a
fe0 friendly 0ords of 0elcome and e6en gallantly 9issing the hand of one lady:
,inally he stepped o6er to me3 the last person in the reception line: )e caref.lly
loo9ed me .p and do0n3 as if to e6al.ate the state of my physical and mental
0ell8being: !ha9ing my hand3 he as9ed3 2)o0 are yo.3 Michael45
"t that simple @.estion3 a 0a6e of affection rose 0ithin me3 tightening my
6ocal chords: I sensed a care and honesty coming from him s.ch as one only
enco.nters among the best of friends: That he had addressed me by my first name
intensified this feeling of friendship:
2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1i35 I responded3 20e*6e been 6ery b.sy here3 preparing
for yo.r arri6al: It*s 0onderf.l to see yo. again and to ha6e yo. staying here
no0:5
2"ll right3 sir35 he said3 sha9ing my hand again: "s he t.rned a0ay from .s3
he loo9ed appreciati6ely at the different 9inds of flo0ers that adorned the
0al90ay3 remar9ing3 2"nd no0 that all of this 0elcoming has been ta9en care
of:::53 implying that the some0hat formal ceremony 0as o6er and 0e co.ld all
res.me o.r normal acti6ities:
-.t3 in fact3 the opposite 0as tr.eA his entry into the sit.ation 0as already
altering the config.ration of o.r daily li6es and3 li9e a catalyst of change3
affecting the field of o.r e?perience:
"s he no0 0al9ed o6er the flagstone path to0ard the ho.se3 he too9 in the
scenery aro.nd him 0ith the e?cited eyes of a child:
2#hat a co.ntry this isL5 he e?claimed 0ith 1oyf.l a0e3 lingering to admire
the tall roseb.shes in front of the roofed porch: 'ed3 yello0 and pin9 roses 0ere
flo0ering prof.sely3 and he gently held one open3 the crimson blossom in his
hands3 and breathed in its perf.me:
#hile one of the teachers and I carried the hea6y s.itcases from the car to
Krishnam.rti*s room or into the 6estib.le of the ho.se3 he tarried in the small
co.rtyard in front of the mandarin8red door: There 0ere se6eral flo0er beds3 0ith
6iolets3 pansies and forget8me8nots: )e loo9ed at them 0ith .ndisg.ised3 tender
1oy3 as if at that moment he 0as comm.nicating 0ith them:
%escending the 0ide stone steps from the ho.se3 I sa0 him standing in front
of the 6iolets3 @.ietly immersed in their bea.ty: I stopped ne?t to him and
remar9ed after a moment*s contemplation3 2They are really lo6ely3 aren*t they45
)e t.rned side0ays to0ard me3 gi6ing me a f.ll3 appraising loo93 almost as if
he 0as seeing me for the first time: Then he gently and affectionately patted my
slightly protr.ding belly 0ith one hand3 stating matter8of8factly3 27o. ha6e got
fat3 ha6en*t yo.45
I 0as .s.ally 6ery self8conscio.s abo.t my body80eight and3 for an instant3
felt ac.tely embarrassed by his fran9 obser6ation: I 0as still at a loss for 0ords
0hen he admonished me in a caring and non8reproachf.l tone3 27o. really ha6e
to 0atch yo.r 0eight3 Michael:5
I stammered apologetically3 2#ell3 it*s tr.eCI ha6e recently gained some
0eight:5
This elicited a peal of .nabashed3 comradely la.ghter from him: )e ga6e me
an affectionate pat on my 0ell8ro.nded sho.lder: 2&ained some 0eightL5 he
la.ghed:
Mary >:3 0ho 0as coming .p the path and had e6idently o6erheard o.r
e?change3 also started to la.gh: O6ercoming my embarrassment3 I finally co.ld
not help b.t 1oin in the merriment: " 0onderf.l lightness comm.nicated itself as
0e shared a good3 liberating la.gh:
J
)a6ing Krishnam.rti in o.r midst for an e?tended period 6ery m.ch changed the
rhythm and @.ality of o.r li6es at ":/:3 0here daily l.ncheons 0ere prepared
and ser6ed: The n.mber of participants changed from day to day3 a6eraging
t0el6e d.ring the 0ee9 and rising to t0enty or more at 0ee9ends: "t certain
times3 I also prepared dinners3 especially 0hen %r: -ohm and his 0ife !aral 0ere
6isiting: Krishnam.rti and Mary >:3 ho0e6er3 .s.ally had their e6ening meal at
+ine Cottage:
,rom the o.tset of my engagement as chef at ":/:3 I 0as con6inced that I 0as
a 0itness to and a participant in the apotheosis and germination of a ne0 global
c.lt.re: +rimarily3 people came to ":/: to ha6e l.nch together: -.t3 more than
the sharing of a meal3 it 0as Krishnam.rti*s philosophy and presence that dre0
so many minds3 both ordinary and ill.strio.s3 to the l.nch table: The bea.ty of
the setting3 the food3 and a good con6ersation among li9e8minded people all
combined to create a special ambiance:
In6ariably3 the con6ersations spanned the 0hole spectr.m of the h.man
condition3 freely b.t 0itho.t fri6olity or s.perficiality: 6erybody 0as at liberty
to say 0hat they 0anted3 e?press their 6ie0s3 as9 @.estions: There 0asn*t any
agenda or e?pectation3 nor any taboo3 e?cept o.tright 6.lgarity: Krishnam.rti
easily and 0itho.t intent became the foc.s of attention: The .nso.ght effect of
his presence 0as li9e a nat.ral phenomenonA as the 0ind blo0ing from one
direction bends the tall grass of s.mmer in the opposite direction3 so 0as the
affect of his personality on .s:
Cha%ter <
$ ( N C ) I N &
# I T ) K ' I ! ) N " < I
Starters
'risp, green salad with a choice of
vinaigrette and creamy Ro+uefort dressing.
Tomato salad, with chopped olives,
minced garlic, garnished with capers.
Tabouli made with bulgur wheat,
finely#chopped fresh parsley
& mint, green onions and tomatoes,
flavored with olive oil and lemon "uice.
Main Dishes
(inestrone soup served with croutons
and grated $armesan cheese.
.reshly#made 'apelli di Angeli
served with a pesto sauce of
fresh basil leaves, olive oil, pine nuts,
$armesan cheese, garlic, and salt & pepper.
reen asparagus spears, +uic%ly steamed and
touched with herbs, olive oil, and lemon "uice.
Dessert
'hocolate mousse and oatmeal coo%ies.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
I 0as by myself in the 9itchen: It 0as a little past eight o*cloc9 on a bright
!at.rday morning3 and I 0as getting ready to start the l.nch preparations: I had
done the shopping the pre6io.s afternoon in !anta -arbara and O1aiCat se6eral
stores I 9ne0 had good3 fresh prod.ce: I tended to plan a meal aro.nd the
a6ailability of fresh3 seasonal 6egetables and fr.it3 organic if possible: This
morning I 0as going to prepare three salads: One of the them 0as an "rabic dish
called tabo.li3 the second 0as a tomato salad 0ith chopped oli6es3 some minced
garlic and fresh basil3 embellished 0ith capersK the third dish made 0ith ra0
6egetablesCI .s.ally aimed to offer an e@.al part of ra0 and coo9ed foodC0as
a simple green salad3 0ith t0o side dressings:
Ne?t on the list 0as minestrone so.p3 ser6ed 0ith cro.tons and grated
+armesan cheese: I reg.larly prepared so.ps3 since Krishnam.rti had a fondness
for them: In addition3 I 0as going to ma9e fresh pasta3 ca%elli di an#eli3 on the
pasta machine somebody had recently donated to the 9itchen3 and ser6e it 0ith a
pesto sa.ce of fresh basil3 oli6e oil3 pine n.ts3 +armesan cheese3 a little garlic3
and salt and pepper: This 0as to be complemented 0ith some of the delicio.s
asparag.s 1.st coming into season3 @.ic9ly steamed and to.ched 0ith a
sprin9ling of herbs3 oli6e oil and lemon 1.ice: I had gi6en .p ser6ing it 0ith
sauce hollandaise3 0hich 0as simply too rich in fat and cholesterol: ,or dessert3
there 0o.ld be chocolate mo.sse 0hich3 of co.rse3 co.ld not be described as
light or lo0 in calories:
I en1oyed 0or9ing @.ietly by myself in the 9itchen: It had a lot of light and
plenty of space3 and the tools and appliances 0ere easily accessible: "fter
0or9ing in silence for an ho.r or t0o3 I t.rned on the classical m.sic station:
O6ery so often3 I s0itched to the all8ne0s station to follo0 the latest
de6elopments in the global sit.ation:P I en6isioned my coo9ing acti6ity as a form
of dance3 a choreographed series of mo6ements3 centering aro.nd the c.tting8
board table in the middle of the 9itchen: ,rom there it radiated to sin93 sto6e3
refrigerator3 and storage shel6es3 bringing together the 6ario.s ingredients and
.tensils3 blending them to the strains of the m.sic: #hen slicing3 chopping or
c.bing 6egetables3 ho0e6er3 a contemplati6e mood 0o.ld arise3 and it appeared
as if e6erything 0as mo6ing of its o0n accord3 and all I had to do 0as 0atch
things .nfold and fla6ors blend:
"t aro.nd ele6en or ele6en8thirty3 "lan and )elen arri6ed at ":/: They
.s.ally ga6e a hand by setting the table3 preparing a dish3 and helping in many
other 0ays: !im.ltaneo.sly3 I .sed the opport.nity to learn more of "lan*s
e?pertise: )e 0as one of the great inno6ators of !o.thern California c.isine3
0illing to ans0er any of my @.estions and offering e?cellent practical ad6ice3
0itho.t e6er ass.ming a s.perior attit.de:
6en tho.gh it 0as a !at.rday3 only fo.rteen people had notified me that they
0ere coming for l.nch: -y one o*cloc93 e6erything 0as ready: "lan and )elen
had gone to the sitting room to 1oin the other g.ests3 0hile I s0ept the floor3
cleaned the .tensils3 and 0iped and cleared the co.nters3 trying to ma9e the
9itchen space appear as empty and .n.sed as possible: )a6ing e6erything ready
to ser6e 0as a special moment for me: I felt a pleasant sense of leis.re and an
.ps.rge of energy: "t some mental and emotional le6el3 I 0as loo9ing for0ard to
and readying myself for 0hat I referred to as Hthe entrance*3 Krishnam.rti*s
arri6al for l.nch: It 0as the high point of the day and .s.ally occ.rred aro.nd
1AFI in the afternoon:
%.ring the first fe0 years3 0hen I still li6ed in the small room ad1oining the
9itchen3 I 0o.ld .se the inter6al bet0een clean8.p and the ser6ing of the meal to
retire into the @.iet semi8dar9 of the room*s large 0al98in closet: !itting cross8
legged on a pillo0 for a fe0 moments3 breathing deeply and deliberately3 I 0o.ld
aim to empty my mind of the press.res and 0orries acc.m.lated o6er the past
fe0 ho.rs: "fter I had th.s internally prepared myself for the .pcoming
enco.nter 0ith Krishnam.rti and the other g.ests3 I*d go into the bathroom ne?t
door to freshen .p: "fter mo6ing to the small cottage 1.st a fe0 steps o.tside the
9itchen3 I only rarely got aro.nd to immersing myself in pre8l.nch tran@.illity3
since it 0as diffic.lt to monitor his arri6al from there and 9eep an eye on
0hate6er 0as simmering on the sto6e: No0 I @.ic9ly 0ent to comb my hair and
splash on some cologne: !tanding in front of the mirror3 I caref.lly st.died my
appearance and decided to change my shirt:
"ltho.gh 0e met se6eral times a day3 I e?perienced each time as something
special: !omeho03 it 0as a challenge to come into contact 0ith him3 heightening
my le6el of energy and ac.teness of perception: -eing completely in the moment3
as he 0as3 there 0as al0ays a s.btle ne0ness abo.t him 0hich 0as as s.rprising
as the beginning of a ne0 day: "nd nothing seemed @.ite able to prepare one for
the act.ality of the e6ent:
'e8entering the 9itchen3 I chec9ed the temperat.re controls at the sto6e:
6erything appeared to be in order: I 0al9ed o6er to the radio3 t.rned it off and
sto0ed it beneath the co.nter: Official l.nch time 0as one o*cloc93 b.t it 0as
seldom that Krishnam.rti and Mary >: appeared before 1AFI: "nd3 altho.gh most
g.ests tended to be on time3 no one seemed to mind 0aiting for them:
"s I 0as ta9ing the salads o.t of the refrigerator3 I heard Krishnam.rti and
Mary >: in front of the screen door: $oo9ing .p at the cloc9 abo6e the
refrigerator3 I noticed it 0as 1A1=: They 0ere a bit earlier than .s.al: !tepping .p
to the door3 I sa0 him balancing a pile of neatly folded clothes in one hand and3
0ith the other3 str.ggling to p.ll open the screen door: Mary >: stood behind him
0ith t0o empty plastic 0ater bottles in her hands: !he 0as pleading 0ith him3
2+lease3 sir3 let me open the door for yo.:5
)e didn*t seem to pay any heed to her entreaties b.t 0as 0atching his o0n
mo6ements 0ith intense attention: -eca.se of the door*s a.tomatic spring3 it
re@.ired a strong p.ll to get it open: "s he tried to do this3 he insisted3 2No3 no3
Maria: I can do it: 7o. ha6e yo.r hands f.ll:5
2&ood morning3 Krishna1i: &ood morning3 Mary35 I said3 caref.lly p.shing
the door open from the inside:
Krishnam.rti loo9ed at me briefly and responded3 2&ood morning3 Michael35
and smoothly mane.6ered past me:
2&ood afternoon35 said Mary >:3 correcting o.r time assessment: ,or a reason
that 0asn*t @.ite clear to me3 I .s.ally greeted him 0ith 2&ood morning53 e6en
tho.gh it 0as clearly past noon3 and he tended to ans0er in li9e manner:
2!hall I ta9e these3 if yo. don*t mind45 I as9ed Mary >:
27es3 than9 yo.35 she replied 0ith a smile: "fter handing me the t0o one8
gallon containers3 she 0al9ed o6er to enter the sitting room thro.gh the patio*s
,rench door:
#hile I 0as p.tting the empty 0ater bottles on the table ne?t to the fi6e8
gallon dispenser3 he 0as placing the stac9 of clothes on the long co.nter3 ma9ing
s.re it 0as clean:
2)ere are some shirts3 sir: They are clean: !ee if any of them fit yo.: If not3
gi6e them to someone else:5 )e made a slightly dismissi6e gest.re: I considered
it an honor to be offered garments 0hich he had 0orn: They 0ere almost li9e
ne03 immac.lately clean and freshly pressed3 most li9ely by Mary >: !he too9
care of most of his la.ndry 0hile they resided at +ine Cottage:
Than9ing him sincerely3 I e?amined the shirts to see if any of them might fit
me: )e @.ietly stood beside me3 0atching me: It 0as a miracle that I might 0ear
any of his shirts at all3 gi6en the considerable difference in o.r siGes: -.t many of
his garments tailored in India tended to be c.t genero.sly 0ide and sometimes
0ere large eno.gh for me:
"part from the shirts3 there 0as a slee6eless3 b.ttonless Indian bundi 6est that
0as bea.tif.lly tailored and had a lo6ely feel to it: Trying it on3 I remar9ed
e?citedly3 2This fits me 0ell3 sir: It*s really 0onderf.l: #hat is it made of45
2It*s ra0 sil9:5
2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1i:5
2That*s all right35 he calmly replied3 placing his hand on t0o paperbac9s3
0hich 0ere also among the things on the co.nter: 2)ere are some thrillers3 sir:
Maybe yo. ha6en*t read them yet:5
#hile I 0as st.dying the titles and captions of the boo9s3 he strolled o6er to
the other side of the 9itchen and started to fill one of the empty bottles from the
0ater dispenser: "s he stood in front of the large plastic container3 his slim3
narro0 bac9 t.rned to0ard me3 he appeared strangely 6.lnerable: )e 0as paying
close attention to 0hat he 0as doing3 one hand holding the bottle to the spo.t3 the
other one depressing the le6er: )e stood 6ery close to the dispenser3 intently
gaGing do0n as the 0ater flo0ed from the larger to the smaller container3
accompanied by lo.d g.rgling noises: I had been pondering a @.estion3 0hich
no0 popped into my mind3 and I stepped .p to his right3 intent on as9ing him:
-.t3 since I did not 0ant to di6ert his attention3 I @.ietly stood there 0atching
him:
"s he p.lled the f.ll bottle a0ay from the spigot3 he mis1.dged the timing by
a fraction of a second3 flic9ing bac9 the le6er a bit too late: !ome 0ater spilled
onto the floor: )e 1.mped bac9 0ith lightning speed3 a6oiding the spray and at
the same time e?claiming3 2Oh3 I*m sorry: I spilled some 0ater: I*m so sorry3 sir3
I*ll 0ipe it .p:5
)e seemed not only chagrined by his brief inattention b.t also annoyed at
himself for ca.sing the spillage: I hastened o6er to the other side3 tearing off a
fe0 paper to0els from the roll dispenser3 and ass.red him3 2I*ll get it3 Krishna1i: I
can clean it .p:5
)e insisted ho0e6er3 2I*ll clean it .p3 sir:5
-.t by then I 0as already bent do0n3 0iping .p the drops from the floor3
2I*m doing it3 sir: It*s already ta9en care of:5
Only then did he resign himself to 0atching me mop .p the last fe0 droplets:
2"ll right3 sir35 he said: 2Than9 yo.:5
"fter he had s.cceeded in filling the second bottle 0ith m.ch care3 and
0itho.t spilling a drop3 I started to p.t my @.estion to him3 2Krishna1i3 may I as9
yo. a @.estion45
"s I had noticed on pre6io.s occasions3 his demeanor and the field of energy
aro.nd him changed dramatically 0hen he 0as as9ed a serio.s @.estion: One
moment he had been rela?ed and easy8goingCdespite the small mishapCthe
ne?t moment he appeared completely collected 0ithin himself3 0ith a foc.sed
attention remar9able to behold: )is eyes too9 on a bright spar9le and fi?ed on me
0ith passi6e alertness3 ready for the most brilliant in@.iry: "las3 my @.estion3 as
so often3 0as more personal than in6estigati6e and in no 0ay matched his @.iet
6ibrancy:
2&o ahead3 sir:5
2Krishna1i3 yesterday 0hen yo. came for l.nch I as9ed yo. if yo. 0ere
h.ngry: "nd yo. ans0ered that yo. 0ere ne6er h.ngryCI*m not s.re if yo.
recall:5
27es3 that*s right:5
2%o yo. mean by that that yo. simply don*t e?perience the sensation of
h.nger45
)e seemed to be do0nshifting the tor@.e of his brain3 0hich for a moment
had been geared to top speed: &ently resting one hand on top of the maple
9itchen table3 he lo0ered his eyelids half0ay3 before ans0ering3 2The body
simply doesn*t feel h.ngry: #e e?perimented 0ith it: ,or a 0hole 0ee9 0e
didn*t eat anything: Only some 0ater3 of co.rse:5
2"nd there 0as no h.nger at all3 not e6en at the beginning45
2There 0as no sense of h.nger at all: -.t one felt ho0 the body 0as getting
0ea9er and 0ea9er: 6ent.ally 0e had to ha6e some food3 other0ise:::5 )e
completed the sentence 0ith a dismissi6e gest.re3 indicating ho0 the body 0o.ld
simply ha6e faded a0ay: )e said it 0ith a pec.liar childli9e earnestness: 27o.
9no03 sir35 he 0ent on3 lightly to.ching my elbo0 0ith a characteristic gest.re of
his3 20e ha6e e?perimented 0ith all these thingsA 0ent aro.nd blindfolded for a
0ee93 or didn*t spea9 a 0ord to anyone for days on end3 absol.te silence:5
2-.t 0hy 0o.ld yo. do that45
)e la.ghed: 2I 1.st 0anted to 9no0 0hat it 0as li9e3 yo. 9no0A not to be able
to spea9Csilent3 only listening: <.st for f.n3 to see 0hat it feels li9e: Or to see
0hat it 0as li9e to be blind:5
2"nd 0hat did it feel li9e45
2"ll the other senses became e?traordinarily sensiti6e: -oth to.ch and
hearing became 6ery 9een: One co.ld hear the finest so.nd: ,rom an inch a0ay3
one co.ld sense an ob1ect3 a 0all or a chair:5 )e held .p his finely pointed
fingertips3 slightly trem.lo.s3 to ill.strate the heightened sensiti6ity of to.ch:
2-.t all of this 0as many years ago:5
<.st then a scraping noise co.ld be heard3 coming from the screen door:
2#hat is that3 sir45 Krishnam.rti as9ed:
#al9ing o6er to the door3 I e?claimed3 2$oo93 Krishna1i3 it*s the cat:5
)e came .p to me and together 0e 0atched the spectacle in front of .s: "
grey8striped tomcat 0as standing on his hind legs3 arching his f.rry body against
the screen and3 0ith .nsheathed cla0s3 scratching the fine mesh: This ca.sed a
dissonant noise3 sharply t0anging on one*s ner6es: "t the same time3 the cat
mane.6ered his 0his9ered head side0ays across his front legs3 staring straight at
.s o.t of 0ide3 bright8green eyes and meo0ing plainti6ely: Krishnam.rti smiled
at the comical sight: 2It*s the cat35 he said3 2she 0ants to get in:5
It 0as3 in fact3 "le?ander the &rey3 the ":/: ho.se cat: !hortly after school
had started at ":/: in 197=3 this f.ll8gro0n3 ne.tered tomcat had sho0n .p at the
9itchen door and ref.sed to be shooed a0ay: None of the neighbors 9ne0 0here
he belonged b.t he appeared thoro.ghly domesticated3 e?hibiting a fearless
affection to0ard people3 0hich 0as mingled3 in e@.al parts3 0ith asserti6eness:
)e fondly allo0ed himself to be pic9ed .p by each and e6eryone3 reacting to any
petting 0ith immediate arched bac9 and t0itching c.r6ed tail3 p.rring: One of the
first st.dents of the Oa9 &ro6e !chool had named him "le?ander3 0hich 0as
later e?panded by one of the tr.stees to "le?ander the &rey: )is pet name3
ho0e6er3 to 0hich he instantly responded3 0as 29itty89itty89itty53 preferably
prono.nced in a high pitched 6oice: )is .n.s.al fondness for h.man company
0as matched3 by contrast3 by his abhorrence of other cats3 0hom he so.ght either
to terroriGe or to a6oid: On se6eral occasions 0e sa0 him chasing dogs
considerably larger than himself: "t other times3 he sho0ed .ncanny beha6ioral
s9ills and comprehension: )e 0o.ld raise himself on his hind legs and pa0 at the
door9nob 0hen he 0anted to go o.tside: Or he*d p.sh against the s0ing8door
.ntil it mo6ed bac9 and forth3 allo0ing him to pass @.ic9ly from the 9itchen to
the sitting room3 0here he li9ed to c.rl .p on a soft armchair: -.t e6er since he
had got his tail ca.ght bet0een the closing door and the 1amb3 he 0as rather
apprehensi6e abo.t performing this mane.6er:
Krishnam.rti had a great fondness for and fascination 0ith animals3 0ild or
domesticated: 6ery so often he en1oyed telling .s a story of enco.nters 0ith
animals in the 0ilderness:
No0 he demanded3 2$et her in: !he 0ants food:5
I p.shed the screen door open a little3 and the cat @.ic9ly came in: )is c.rio.s
tail c.r6ed 6ertically .pright and aro.nd3 to.ching his bac9: )e pranced .p to
Krishnam.rti and3 r.bbing against his leg3 loo9ed .p at him 0ith his 9no0ing
eyes3 .ttering lo03 solicito.s cat so.nds:
2!he*s h.ngry35 Krishnam.rti diagnosed3 as he bent do0n to stro9e the cat*s
bac9 0ith his fingertips: It ind.ced immediate p.rring:
2Krishna1i3 he*s a tom8cat35 I pointed o.t3 as I had done se6eral times before:
2I*6e already fed him this morning: There*s @.ite a bit of food left in his dish:5
-.t I 9ne03 of co.rse3 that "le?ander lo6ed to be fed tidbits by h.mans3 as if
0anting to ha6e a personal relationship:
Krishnam.rti ignored my comment3 2&i6e him some food3 sir:5
It 0as one of Krishnam.rti*s idiosyncrasies that his relationship 0ith animals
seemed momentarily to eclipse the h.man realm: I too9 a piece of cheese o.t of
the refrigerator and bro9e it into se6eral smaller portions3 placing them on the
table ne?t to Krishnam.rti: 2+erhaps yo. 0o.ld li9e to feed him some of this
cheese: )e*s @.ite fond of it:5
)e too9 some of the cheese and held it do0n to0ard the cat3 intoning3 2)ere3
9itty89itty:5
The cat raised himself half0ay on his ha.nches3 gingerly grasping the piece
of cheese bet0een his pa0s and teeth3 caref.l not to h.rt the proffered hand: #e
@.ietly obser6ed the cat s@.atting do0n3 mashing the cheese in feline fashion:
)a6ing de6o.red it3 he br.shed his 0his9ers a fe0 times3 lic9ed his chops and3
str.c9 by the s.dden recollection of the pleas.re3 loo9ed .p at .s3 e6idently ready
for some more cheese:
2)e 0ants more35 Krishnam.rti said3 and he too9 the remaining pieces of
cheese and placed them on the floor in front of the cat:
#hile he contin.ed to obser6e the cat3 I became a0are of the great stillness
0hich en6eloped himA as if 0atching the cat 0as the only thing in the 0orld: I
also became 6ery @.iet3 and for a brief inter6al there 0as only the so.nd of the
cat che0ing a0ay: ,or that moment the fact that a doGen g.ests 0ere gathered
ne?t door3 0aiting to be fed3 entirely slipped my mind:
"nother caref.l pa0ing of the 0his9ers3 a big satisfied cat ya0n3 and3 0ith
his c.r6ed tail t0itching3 "le?ander the &rey pro.dly pranced off to the 0ater
and food bo0ls beneath the sin9:
2#hat a c.rio.s tail he*s got35 Krishnam.rti e?claimed:
,ollo0ing the cat3 I 0aited for him to ta9e a sip of 0ater from his bo0l before
letting him o.t the door:
Mean0hile3 Krishnam.rti had stepped closer to the range to ta9e a loo9 at
0hat 0as coo9ing:
2#hat is this3 Michael45 he as9ed3 reaching o.t 0ith one hand to lift the lid of
the so.p pot:
2Caref.l3 Krishna1i35 I 0arned3 2it may be @.ite hot:5
)is hand slo0ed in mid8motion3 and he tapped the 9nob of the lid 6ery lightly
0ith his fingertips3 h.rriedly p.lling them bac9: )e t.rned to0ard me: )is
elongated dar9 eyes3 shaded by long eyelashes3 had become ro.nd 0ith @.iGGical
playf.lness3 t0in9ling 0ith spar9s of childli9e s.rprise:
2-y <o6eL5 he e?claimed: 2It is hot:5
Ta9ing t0o potholders from beside the spice rac9 ne?t to the sto6e3 I offered
them to Krishnam.rti: 2)ere3 sir: +lease .se these:5
#ith the help of the potholders he delicately lifted the top and pee9ed into the
pot3 caref.lly 9eeping his head a0ay from the clo.d of rising steam:
2!o.p35 he stated3 replacing the lid: 2#hat 9ind of so.p is it3 sir45
2It*s minestrone so.p3 Krishna1i:5
2"h3 minestre35 he said 0ith an Italian intonation: )e 0as fond of Italy3 its
c.isine and c.lt.re: )e had spent a fair amo.nt of time there and 0as 0ell86ersed
in the Italian lang.age:
2"nd 0hat else are 0e ha6ing for l.nch45 he in@.ired:
2#ell3 sir35 I began3 2apart from the so.p and the salads3 there 0ill be pasta3
ca%elli di an#eli3 0ith %esto di #enoa3 and also steamed asparag.s:5
2Ca%elli di an#eli35 he repeated 0ith g.sto3 letting the Italian so.nds roll off
his tong.e:
#hile I 0as placing a stic9 of b.tter on a porcelain b.tter dish3 he sa.ntered
o6er to the 0all by the screen door: " monthly pict.re calendar 0as posted there3
ne?t to a board 0ith small hoo9s for 9eys to toolshed and garage3 0hile ne?t to
that 0as a large poster 0hich somebody had donated to ":/:K s.bse@.ently I had
attached it 0ith th.mb8tac9s to the only free portion of 0all: " large headline
proclaimed the titleA HM.rphy*s $a0*: " s.btitle pro6ided the definitionA
H6erything that can go 0rong 0ill go 0rong*: " central blac9 and 0hite photo
graphically ill.strated the statement: " 6intage ,ord T 0as st.c9 deeply in a field
of m.d: 6ery concei6able part 0as bro9en or had fallen off the 6ehicle: The
dri6er3 dressed in old8fashioned a.tomoti6e gear3 stood 9nee8deep in m.d ne?t to
his car3 helplessly contemplating the disaster and scratching his head: The
remaining portion of the poster consisted of abo.t fifty comical sayingsCa cross
bet0een insight3 1o9e and abs.rdityCthe ironies of life honed to a fine point: The
poster had been there for some time3 and Krishnam.rti reg.larly pa.sed in front
of it3 finding it am.sing e6en after repeated reading:
No0 he bro9e into lo.d la.ghter abo.t one of the aphorisms3 and I c.rio.sly
0ent o6er to stand ne?t to him:
2#hich one is f.nny3 Krishna1i45 I as9ed him:
2H6erything I li9e is either fattening or immoral*35 he read o.t3 still la.ghing
and br.shing tears from his eyes: 2That*s 6ery cle6er:5
I 1oined in 0ith his la.ghter: It 0as a heart80arming delight to share 0ith him
a good la.gh abo.t the h.man tragicomedy:
2Or 0hat abo.t this one3 Krishna1i45
)e caref.lly read it and ga6e an am.sed ch.c9le before pointing at another he
fo.nd partic.larly hilario.s:
!o 0e carried on for a 0hile in front of the poster3 la.ghing at the ironies and
abs.rdities of life3 and perhaps implicitly also at o.rsel6es: "t moments li9e this3
the sense of .nreser6ed friendship had an .nforgettable poignancy:
2Is e6erything ready3 sir45 Krishnam.rti as9ed:
2I thin9 so3 sir35 I replied3 chec9ing the asparag.s: It too9 only a 6ery little
time to steam it3 and one had to be caref.l not to o6ercoo9 it: I too9 the b.nch o.t
of the pot 0ith a pair of tongs and3 after .ntying the string that held them
together3 placed the single stal9s side by side in a ceramic ser6ing dish:
2Can I carry anything45
27es3 if yo. don*t mind3 Krishna1i: 7o. co.ld perhaps ta9e the so.p pot:5
#ith great care he too9 the handles of the stainless8steel pot and balanced it
thro.gh the s0ing8door3 0hich I held open to let him pass: Today 0e 0ere
ha6ing l.nch indoors: O!ince he preferred ta9ing the meal in the dining room
rather than on the patio3 0e no0 ate mostly inside:P )e gently placed the pot ne?t
to the stac9 of so.p bo0ls on the solid ro.nd table in the small ser6ing area that
ad1oined the dining room: 2Is this 0here it goes45 he as9ed:
27es3 than9 yo.3 sir35 I ans0ered and 0ent to fetch the fe0 remaining items
from the 9itchen3 0hile he @.ietly s.r6eyed the l.nch scene:
2There are not so many of .s today35 he obser6ed: 2Is it all o.t no04 !hall I
tell them45
27es3 please3 Krishna1i35 I said: 2If yo. don*t mind:5
,or the first year or t0o3 I .sed to ring a small brass bell to call the g.ests to
table: It 0as originally an ornament 0ith 0hich an Indian elephant 0as adorned
for a festi6e parade: !omeho0 it had disappeared and I had ass.med the role of
b.tler3 0al9ing .p to the g.ests in the sitting room and proclaiming in stentorian
tones that l.nch 0as ser6ed: My anno.ncement 0as .s.ally greeted 0ith st.nned
silence by the chatting cro0d3 and after a min.sc.le pa.se they carried on 0ith
their con6ersations as if nothing had happened: I often felt fr.strated that a
second 6erbal in6itation had to be iss.ed and more gentle coa?ing 0as necessary
to bring the g.ests in line for the self8ser6ice b.ffet: It 0as m.ch more effecti6e
0hen Krishnam.rti made the anno.ncement that l.nch 0as ready:
I remained near the s0ing8door3 0atching ho0 he @.ietly3 almost shyly
0al9ed the length of the dining room and approached the g.ests3 0ho 0ere
lo.nging on the sofa or standing aro.nd in gro.ps: The noise le6el immediately
@.ieted do0n3 as the g.ests became a0are of him: There 0as an inter6al of
silence before he politely bo0ed to se6eral of the ladies and anno.nced 0ith
calm dignity3 2!adame est servie:5 It 0as s.perb role8playing3 that e6en a first8
class b.tler co.ldn*t ha6e topped: 6erybody promptly got .p to comply 0ith the
in6itation to table: -.t another bottlenec9 0as looming ahead in the narro0 aisles
aro.nd the l.nch table: #ith persistent politeness each person insisted that the
other precede him or her3 .ntil after some bac98and8forth Krishnam.rti s.ggested
0ith a @.iet la.gh3 2$adies first:5 -.t3 once the ladies had gro.ped themsel6es3
none 0anted to bear the on.s of being the first to ser6e herself: "fter some
embarrassed protestations3 a lady tr.stee s.ccessf.lly in6ited a special g.est to
ma9e the first step:
In the meantime3 I had edged my 0ay to the end of the line3 behind
Krishnam.rti: )e 0as grasping the arm of the school director3 0ho 0ith a
delighted smile 0as saying to him3 2+lease3 Krishna1i3 yo. first:5 There 0as a
light8hearted playf.lness in Krishnam.rti*s 6oice as he insisted 0ith 1.st eno.gh
firmness to con6ince the other3 2No3 sir: 7o. go ahead:5
The director yielded3 as he 9ne0 @.ite 0ell that Krishnam.rti 0as adamant in
ha6ing others precede him3 e6en the occasional latecomer: "s far as I 9ne03
Krishnam.rti beha6ed li9e this only in O1ai3 perhaps beca.se here he 0as mostly
among a smaller3 more intimate gro.p of friends than at the other places 0here
he stayed:
I 0as @.ietly 0atching as the director and he e?changed some information
abo.t the Oa9 &ro6e !chool3 0hen all at once he became a0are of my presence
behind him: +i6oting aro.nd3 he grabbed my arm and earnestly entreated me3
2+lease3 sir3 go ahead:5
I loo9ed at him 0ith a tender feeling in my heart3 beca.se I realiGed this 0as
not 1.st a con6entional gest.re of hisA it 0as his nat.ral modesty to thin9 of
others first:
I ob1ected 0ith an embarrassed la.gh3 2I*m sorry3 Krishna1iCI ha6e to go
last: "fter all3 I prepared the food: "nd the coo9 sho.ld allo0 all others to first
help themsel6es before he ta9es food for himself: That*s practically a c.linary
tradition:5
)e st.died me 0ith his pec.liar3 s9eptical half8smile:
2It*s the same in a home3 isn*t it45 I emphatically contin.ed: 2It seems to be
@.ite logical and sane:5
,inally he yielded to the force of my arg.ment3 conceding3 2"ll right3 sir:
7o. go last:5
#e had been playing this little game3 going more or less thro.gh the same
arg.mentation3 doGens of times for the past fe0 years: " c.rio.s blend of
serio.sness and fine h.mor .nderlay o.r playf.l interaction: Oddly eno.gh it
ne6er felt repetiti6e b.t had an endearing @.ality to it: It reminded me of !aint8
?.pery*s story of the $ittle +rince taming the little fo?: Of co.rse3 I sa0 myself
as the fo?:
-y no0 e6eryone 0as seated3 0hile Krishnam.rti and I 0ere the last to 0al9
aro.nd the ser6ing table: I 0as striding behind him3 ready to pro6ide the c.linary
information he fre@.ently re@.ested: )e 0as balancing his plate in both hands3
resting it ne?t to each dish3 as he bent do0n to ha6e a closer loo9 at the contents
before ser6ing himself 0ith some of it:
2#hat is this3 sir45 he in@.ired:
2It*s called tabouli3 Krishna1i35 I e?plained: 2It*s made 0ith b.lg.r 0heat3 a
precoo9ed crac9ed 0heat: It*s mi?ed 0ith lots of finely chopped fresh parsley
and mint3 some green onions and tomatoes3 and fla6ored 0ith oli6e oil and lemon
1.ice:5
)e had straightened himself as I recited the recipe3 listening attenti6ely to
0hat I 0as saying: "s I trailed off3 he ro.nded his eyes in playf.l admiration and
am.sedly remar9ed3 2I*ll try some of that3 sir:5
"fter placing t0o large spoonf.ls on his plate3 he proceeded to ta9e small
portions of the other dishes: $oo9ing at 0hat 0as leftCa little pasta3 se6eral
stal9s of asparag.s3 and some so.pChe hesitated and t.rned to me: 2There is
hardly anything left3 Michael:5
,eeling some0hat defensi6e3 I obser6ed3 2-.t3 Krishna1i3 0e are the last ones
in line: %on*t yo. thin9 this is eno.gh for the t0o of .s45
2#ell3 sir35 he insisted3 2yo. are c.tting it a0f.lly close:5
2Krishna1i35 I protested3 2I*m trying to prepare 1.st eno.gh for e6eryone3 so
that there 0on*t be too many lefto6ers and 0aste:5
2"ll right3 sir3 b.t yo. are certainly meas.ring it 6ery finely:5
+lacing a fe0 stal9s of asparag.s on his plate3 he added 0ith a soothing smile3
27o. are some coo9:5
)e .s.ally a6oided personal praise and ne6er flattered anyone3 as far as I
obser6ed: ,eeling a bit ambig.o.s as ho0 to ta9e his last remar93 I in@.isiti6ely
gaGed at him and concl.ded that no irony 0as intended:
)alting before a small side8table3 0here fr.it and dessert 0ere on display3 he
as9ed3 2#hat is this3 Michael45
2That*s the dessert3 Krishna1i: It*s chocolate mo.sse:5
"t the mention of the 0ord Hchocolate*3 his face too9 on a startled e?pression
of disli9e: 2Oh3 I 0on*t ta9e any of that35 he declared:
I had pre6io.sly noticed that he a6oided chocolate and anything containing
chocolate b.t had ne6er .nderstood the reasons for his distaste:
2#hy is it3 sir3 that yo. don*t li9e chocolate45
" s0ift shado0 of a6ersion crossed his benign feat.res: 2It*s a dr.g3 a
stim.lant3 yo. 9no03 sir: "nd it*s too richA oils3 s.gar3 and so on:5
I 0as @.ite a chocolate fan myself and 0as s.rprised to hear it described as a
dr.g: I had3 ho0e6er3 read abo.t its stim.lating properties3 0hich 0ere said to
acti6ate a hormonal secretion li9e the one the brain prod.ced 0hen a person fell
in lo6e: #itho.t diso0ning the s0eet3 rich s.bstance right there and then3 I said
g.ardedly3 2I see:5
,oreseeing his antipathy3 I had prepared another dessert: 2-.t I also ba9ed
some oatmeal coo9iesCbisc.its:5 I corrected myself3 adopting the -ritish term
he .s.ally employed:
)is face lit .p 0ith childli9e delight: 2&ood: I*ll ta9e some later:5
+lacing his plate ne?t to the so.p pot3 he ladled some so.p into a bo0l3
anno.ncing 0ith Gest3 2!inestre:5 !prin9ling some +armesan on top of it3 he
fondly added3 2Con %armi#iano:5
In my best Italian3 I intoned3 2C7= bene:5
2C7= buono35 he corrected me:
2"h3 yes35 I said3 2buonoCad1ecti6e:5
2I*ll come bac9 for that35 he said3 nodding at the so.p bo0l3 as he t.rned to
carry his plate to the table3 0here the other g.ests had already started to eat:
2I*ll bring it3 sir:5
It ga6e me a secret sense satisfaction to do things for him: 6en to perform a
min.sc.le ser6iceCas9ed for or notC0as a so.rce of great 1oy: I carried the
so.p bo0l and placed it before him: )e calmly loo9ed .p at me3 2Than9 yo.3
sir:5
It 0as a li6ely l.ncheon3 and the con6ersation to.ched on the c.rrent political
sit.ation 0orld0ide and the different c.lt.ral attit.des to0ard the man80oman
relationship: !ometimes3 it seemed Krishnam.rti held rather /ictorian 6ie0s3
altho.gh it 0as also clear that3 far from condemning se?3 he disappro6ed only of
its display and e?ploitation:
#e 0ere tal9ing abo.t the cross8c.lt.ral c.stom of some priests3 n.ns and
mon9s to esche0 any intimate contact 0ith the opposite se? by ta9ing 6o0s of
chastity: Krishnam.rti @.estioned the significance of this tradition: 2I 0onder3
sir3 if celibacy has anything to do 0ith the tr.ly religio.s life35 he remar9ed to the
tr.stee 0ho 0as sitting across from him: 2Ta9ing a 6o0 of chastity::: b.t inside
they are b.rning 0ith fr.stration and desire3 boiling 0ith it: !.ppress3 s.ppress3
don*t e6er loo9 at a 0oman3 at a bea.tif.l faceL That has nothing to do 0ith the
religio.s mind:5 )e pa.sed after deli6ering this last statement3 rather
emphatically and 0ith m.ch passion: 2I m.st tell yo. a lo6ely story abo.t this:
There are t0o mon9s in India3 0al9ing from one 6illage to the ne?t3 begging for
alms: One day they come .pon a yo.ng girl 0ho*s crying to herself near the
ban9s of a ri6er: One of the mon9s approaches her and as9s3 H!ister3 0hat are yo.
crying for4* !he says3 H7o. see that ho.se on the other side of the ri6er4 That*s
0here I li6e3 and early this morning I 0aded across the ri6er 0itho.t any
problem: -.t no0 the 0ater has risen3 and I can*t get bac9 and there is no boat
any0here near to ta9e me across:* H%on*t 0orry3* the mon9 says3 HI*ll help yo.:*
"nd he pic9s her .p and carries her on his bac9 safely across the 0aters to the
other shore: "nd the t0o mon9s contin.e to0ards the ne?t 6illage: They 0al9 in
silence for se6eral ho.rs3 0hen s.ddenly the second mon9 spea9s .p and says3
H-rother3 yo. ha6e committed a terrible sin: #e ha6e ta9en a 6o0 of chastity3
ne6er to to.ch a 0oman: %idn*t yo. feel pleas.re and a strong sensation 0hen
yo. to.ched that 0oman4* The first mon9 replies3 HI left her behind t0o ho.rs
agoCb.t yo.3 apparently3 are still carrying her 0ith yo.:* 7o. .nderstand this
story3 sir45
#e b.rst o.t la.ghing at the story3 b.t Krishnam.rti regarded .s 0ith serio.s
eyes:
Cha%ter >
2 # ) " T * ! T )
N # ! 3 ! I ' 4 5
Starters
(i*ed salad of lettuce, shredded red cabbage,
sprouts and cherry tomatoes with a choice of
oil & vinegar or tahini dressing.
rated zucchini salad and grated beets,
prepared with a touch of orange "uice
and zest of orange.
Main Dishes
,a%ed cumin potatoes.
Swiss cheese pie made with a crust of crac%ers,
mustard, green onions, parsley, grated
0mmenthal cheese, eggs and sour cream.
Steamed cauliflower, carrots & green peas
garnished with minced parsley and sliced olives.
Dessert
Apricot cream made of sun#dried apricots
softened in water and blended with
cream and vanilla.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
%.ring the follo0ing 0ee9s and months of spring3 197;3 0e 0ere in6ited to
fre@.ent dialog.e meetings 0ith Krishnam.rti at +ine Cottage: These meetings
.s.ally incl.ded the tr.stees3 the Oa9 &ro6e !chool staff3 and a fe0 parents and
6ol.nteers: They too9 place in the large li6ing room of the ne0 +ine Cottage: It
seemed a fitting 6en.e for serio.s dialog.e3 a large open space 0ith a lot of lightA
a ro0 of s9ylights 1.st .nder the ridge of the high3 gabled ceiling3 pl.s se6eral
large 0indo0s and a ,rench 0indo0 allo0ed the brightness of the day to stream
into the room: The 0alls3 ceiling and fan8shaped rafters dissecting the .pper
portion of the room 0ere painted 0hite: The 0hite Italian floor tiles had a
delicate floral design: " large fireplace 0ith a nat.ral roc9 hearth 0as the focal
point aro.nd 0hich 0ere arranged sofas3 armchairs3 and lo0 tables 0ith lamps
and 6ases: Open boo9shel6es and a n.mber of s.bd.ed modern paintings
adorned the 0alls3 all in a light color: There 0as a pair of gilded baro@.e cher.bs
holding .p lampshades3 and se6eral potted plants and a tall ornamental fic.s tree
enli6ened the room: It 0as a place of simple3 yet sophisticated elegance3 airy and
bright3 and e6en the presence of fifty people did not cro0d its spacio.sness:
)ere3 Krishnam.rti 0o.ld meet 0ith .s to e?plore the most serio.s @.estions
pertaining to o.r daily li6es3 to the 0ay 0e percei6ed3 tho.ght and acted3 and to
the 0ay 0e ed.cated the yo.ng people entr.sted to .s:
%.ring these dialog.es3 he 0o.ld often mention !ind in the 1aters3 a phrase
that ca.ght my attention: It too9 me a 0hile to fig.re o.t that he 0as referring to
the great 6ariety of mammalian life8forms that e?isted in the oceans of the earth:
It 0as3 in fact3 the title of a boo93
F
0hich he had recently been reading: )e 0as
fascinated by the 6i6id descriptions of the cetaceans* intelligence3 that apparently
0as so a9in to o.r o0n: It 0as as if he had all at once disco6ered an entirely ne0
realm of life3 and tele6ision reports3 photos and other acco.nts of dolphins and
0hales endlessly delighted him: -y the same to9en3 he 0as appalled by the cr.el
destr.ction that h.mans inflicted on harp8seal p.ps3 0hales and other a@.atic
creat.res: #hene6er he lashed o.t against these atrocities3 his 6oice 0o.ld
become laden 0ith gen.ine sorro0 and pain3 and his face mirrored the enormo.s
s.ffering h.man9ind had inflicted on its fello0 creat.res3 on its nat.ral
en6ironment3 and on itself:
-esides !ind in the 1aters3 there 0ere plenty of other media8generated
topics that informed o.r con6ersations at the ":/: l.nch table: ,or a 0hile it 0as
<acob -rono0s9i*s doc.mentary 2The "scent of Man5 that inspired fre@.ent
comments by Krishnam.rti: "ltho.gh he 0as impressed by the style and
presentation of the tele6ision series3 he strongly disp.ted its contention that
h.manity had e6ol6ed thro.gh its increasing 9no0ledge: On the contrary3 he
proposed that men and 0omen today 0ere psychologically as primiti6e as their
!tone "ge ancestorsCoppressed by fear and s.perstition3 selfish3 cr.el and
6iolentCdespite the enormo.s progress in science and technology: Ne0s
programs li9e 2BI Min.tes5 and 2The McNeil8$ehrer Ne0s )o.r5 pro6ided a lot
of the ra0 material for o.r daily re6ie0 of the c.rrent 0orld sit.ation: The main
actors on the global scene in the late 7I*s 0ere the t0o s.perpo0ers3 the (:!: and
the (:!:!:':3 0ho 0ere still competing against each other3 e6en tho.gh the HCold
#ar* had officially been replaced by HdQtente*: " fe0 months earlier3 <immy
Carter had been s0orn in as +resident of the (nited !tates3 and e6eryone at the
l.nch table seemed to li9e him: #hile 0e 0ere disc.ssing ho0 the ne0
"merican president might get along 0ith the !o6iet leader3 $eonid -reGhne63
Krishnam.rti said3 2I m.st tell yo. this 1o9e3 if I may:5 "nd he politely loo9ed
aro.nd the table: 6eryone fell silent and t.rned to0ard him3 eager to hear his
story: 2This happens to be the time 0hen Ni?on 0as still +resident35 he e?plained
0ith a smile: 2-reGhne6 calls Ni?on o6er the hotline telephone and says3 H)ello3
Mr: +resident3 ho0 are yo.4 I*6e heard that yo. ha6e the most incredible s.per8
comp.ter in the 0hole 0orld:* Ni?on replies3 H#ell3 Mr: Chairman3 I don*t 9no0
ho0 yo. obtained this information3 beca.se it*s top8secret: -.t I can tell yo. that
it*s the fastest comp.ter in the 0orld and can foretell e6ents .p to thirty years
ahead:* -reGhne6 is impressed: HThirty yearsA that is tr.ly astonishing: Not e6en
here in the !o6iet (nion do 0e ha6e anything li9e that: In fact I 0o.ld li9e to as9
yo. a fa6or3 if yo. don*t mind:* Ni?on ans0ers3 H"nything yo. li9e3 in the name
of dQtente3 as long as it isn*t a state secret or against the interests of the (nited
!tates:* -reGhne6 replies3 HI 0o.ldn*t dream of anything li9e that: -.t co.ld yo.
please as9 yo.r comp.ter 0ho 0ill be in the Comm.nist +arty politb.ro here in
the year MIII4* The +resident ans0ers3 HNo problem3 $eonid: <.st gi6e me a
min.te:* "nd the telephone line goes silent 0hile he is cons.lting the comp.ter:
-reGhne6 presses his ear to the recei6er b.t hears only Mosco0 static as the
min.tes tic9 by: ,inally he as9s3 H"re yo. still there3 'ichard4* OThey*re on first
name terms by no0:P H#ell3 yes3 $eonid3* Ni?on replies3 Hb.t I can*t fig.re it
o.t:* H-.t 0hat does it say4* -reGhne6 as9s impatiently: "nd Ni?on says3 HThat*s
1.st it: I can*t read 0hat it saysCit*s all in Chinese:*5
6eryone 1oined in a ro.nd of hearty la.ghter: I 0as sitting across from
Krishnam.rti and sa0 ho0 m.ch he en1oyed telling the 1o9e: Tilting bac9 his
head3 he la.ghed 0ith abandon: "ltho.gh I 0as seldom able to remember 1o9es3 I
in6ariably recalled the ones that he reco.nted3 perhaps beca.se I so highly
cherished his sense of h.mor and the 1oy it engendered: #hen the la.ghter had
@.ieted do0n3 I as9ed him3 2%o yo. 9no0 another one3 sir45
2"nother 1o9e45 he as9ed3 raising his eyebro0s:
27es3 please3 sir:5
)e loo9ed aro.nd the table at the e?pectant faces3 then at me3 and3 ta9ing a
breath3 said3 2"ll right3 sir3 I 9no0 another 1o9e3 also abo.t -reGhne6: )e has
r.led as &eneral !ecretary of the Comm.nist +arty and +resident of the (:!:!:':
for some years3 and the co.ntry is at the height of its po0ers: 6ery other
!.nday3 his old mother comes from the co.ntry to 6isit him in the Kremlin: This
time she brings him some of his fa6orite d.mplings: -efore lea6ing3 she tells him
ho0 0orried she is: -reGhne6 tries to calm her do0n3 H$oo93 Mama3 there is
really nothing to 0orry abo.t: I ha6e eno.gh to eat here in the Kremlin and my
room is 0arm:* -.t she 9eeps on3 HNo3 no3 my son3 I*m 0orried abo.t yo. and
the co.ntry:* T0o 0ee9s later she 6isits him again and brings him 0arm glo6es
and a m.ffler: )e than9s her and tells her ho0 splendid things are3 b.t she
insists3 HNo3 no3 my dear $eonid3 all is not 0ell: I*m really 0orried abo.t yo. and
ho0 things are going: #ho 9no0s 0hat all co.ld happen4* H-.t3 dear mother3* he
says3 HI really li6e a 6ery good and sec.re life here: There are g.ards at the door
to protect me3 and I*m in cdntrol3 telling e6eryone 0hat to do:* HNo3 no3* she
m.mbles as she is lea6ing3 Hall is not 0ell:* T0o 0ee9s later she comes again3
bringing him a bottle of his fa6orite home8made 6od9a: "fter a 0hile she again
e?presses her deep 0orries to him: -reGhne6 tries to calm her do0n once and for
all: H%ear mother3* he says3 HI*6e got e6erything anybody co.ld e6er 0antCe6en
the most e?pensi6e sports cars from the decadent #est: I*m 0earing fine clothes
and eat the best food: In fact3 I*m the most po0erf.l man in the 0hole co.ntry3
maybe the 0hole 0orld: !o can yo. please tell me 0hy yo. 9eep on 0orrying4*
H$eonid3 my son3* she says to him3 H%on*t yo. 9no04 The Comm.nists might
ta9e o6er:*5
"t that3 e6eryone at the table b.rst o.t in almost ra.co.s la.ghter: The 0ay he
had told the 1o9e 0as @.ite inimitable3 0ith ill.strati6e gest.res and mime8li9e
facial e?pressions3 and a yo.thf.l ?lan:
J
"part from Krishnam.rti and Mary >:3 there 0as a core gro.p of abo.t si? to
eight tr.stees and staff 0ho reg.larly participated in the daily l.ncheons at ":/:
"ll of them 0ere @.ite interested in c.rrent political and c.lt.ral affairs and
reg.larly follo0ed the ne0s on tele6ision and in the ne0spapers: I also happened
to be a fan of 0orld ne0s and .s.ally endea6ored to read the ne0spaper from
front to bac9:
6idently3 Krishnam.rti 0as also 6ery interested in 0hat 0as happening in
the 0orld and seemed s.rprisingly 0ell informed abo.t recent de6elopments:
#hile I s.bscribed to the Christian !cience Monitor3 Mary >: recei6ed the Los
An#eles Times: "fter they 0ere thro.gh 0ith their copy3 I 0o.ld either pic9 it .p
in the late afternoon or Krishnam.rti 0o.ld bring it o6er at l.nch:
This partic.lar afternoon he entered the 9itchen as he .s.ally did3 thro.gh the
patio screen door: &reeting me in his friendly 0ay3 he strolled o6er to the
0indo0 and placed a copy of the Los An#eles Times on the co.nter: 2There it is3
sir35 he said3 2so m.ch paper:5
2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1i: %o yo. act.ally read it45
2No3 sir35 he replied: 2There*s simply too m.ch to read: %ay after day3 all
these long articles: "nd they are al0ays 0riting the same st.ffCrepeat3 repeat3
repeat: !ometimes I loo9 at the headlines3 that*s all:5
2Oh35 I said3 some0hat disappointed by his s9eptical attit.de3 0hich ran
contrary to my o0n enth.siastic st.dies: 2-.t 0hat abo.t the comics3 sir4 %o yo.
loo9 at those at all45
2The cartoons4 I li9e the ones in the 8ew @orker magaGine3 they are often
6ery cle6er: Or the little boy3 0hat is his name45
2Charlie -ro0n in the H+ean.ts* comic strip45
2No35 he said: 2This boy is al0ays getting into some sort of tro.ble: )e*s a bit
mischie6o.s:5
'e6ie0ing my memory file of cartoon characters3 I @.ic9ly came .pon a
li9ely candidate3 2Is it %ennis the Menace3 Krishna1i45
27es3 that*s himCf.ll of mischief3 b.t 6ery charming:5
That afternoon there 0ere only a fe0 of .s for l.nchCthe inner circle3 as it
0ere: Often 0hen 0e 0ere en $amille3 0e 0o.ld ha6e 6ery li6ely disc.ssions3 b.t
this time e6eryone 0as rather s.bd.ed3 and the con6ersation 0as sporadic: I 0as
sitting across from Krishnam.rti3 and e6ery so often my gaGe 0o.ld 0ander o6er
to him: )e 0as che0ing slo0ly and caref.lly 0ith his eyes half closed: )is long3
narro03 left hand lay on top of the 0hite paper nap9in by his plate: )e appeared
completely self8contained and calm3 e?hibiting no trace of ner6o.sness or
discomfort beca.se of the silence aro.nd the table: #hen 0e made eye8contact3 I
felt a bit shy and self8conscio.s b.t did not discern any reaction on his part:
There 0as only a mirror8li9e @.ality in his eyes:
+ert.rbed by o.r contin.ing reticence3 I felt a s.dden .rge to entertain him
0ith something: I leaned for0ard and as9ed in a lo0 6oice3 2?c.se me3
Krishna1i: )a6e yo. heard 0hat is going on in China45 )e loo9ed at me 6ery
directly b.t ga6e no hint of c.riosityA I co.ld only detect the same mirror8li9e
tran@.illity: There 0as a brief inter6al3 0hich felt li9e a balancing act on a high
0ire3 as I ret.rned his gaGe3 0aiting for his reply: Then an am.sed spar9le
entered his eyes3 and he said3 2No3 I ha6en*t: #hat has been happening in China3
sir45
I 0ent into a fairly lengthy disco.rse on the most recent de6elopments in
China and !o.theast "sia3 bac9trac9ing a bit here3 elaborating a bit there3 and
generally fleshing o.t the details of an article I had read the pre6io.s day: "t the
beginning of my acco.nt3 I felt .ns.re of myself3 b.t once I had gi6en .p any
0ish to be enco.raged3 and stopped loo9ing for signs of interest in my listener3
my brief dissertation too9 on its o0n moment.m: I 0armed to the s.b1ect as I
0ent along3 s9etching an o.tline of recent and ancient Chinese history3 0ith
di6erse pieces of information that came to me from &od 9no0s 0here: I started
to en1oy myself as I 0ent on abo.t Conf.cian c.stoms and psychological
attit.des: Krishnam.rti listened 0ith increasing intensity3 as9ing a n.mber of
@.estions3 0hich added 0eight to my disco.rse: 6ent.ally the other people at
the table fell in3 contrib.ting to an animated con6ersation abo.t the s.r6i6al of
traditions in re6ol.tionary societies:
!.ddenly Krishnam.rti raised his hand3 2That reminds me of a 1o9e I heard
recently: This happens to be the Kremlin in Mosco03 the seat of s.preme po0er:
6ery morning the captain of the g.ard enters the bedroom of Chairman
-reGhne63 carrying his brea9fast on a tray3 0ith a copy of the 'ravda ne0spaper:
)e p.lls bac9 the c.rtains from the large 0indo0 o6erloo9ing 'ed !@.are3 gi6es
a smart sal.te and briefs the Chairman on the latest de6elopments in the 0orld:
"t the end of it3 -reGhne6 says3 H"ll right3 comrade3 is that all4* The ad1.tant
hesitates3 H#ell3 Comrade Chairman3 there is one other thingA there is a large
cro0d o.tside in 'ed !@.are3 and they seem to be picnic9ing:* -reGhne6
responds magnanimo.sly3 HIt*s a lo6ely morning3 and the s.n is shiningK let the
0or9ers en1oy themsel6es for once:* The ad1.tant sal.tes and lea6es:5 ach time
he mentioned the ad1.tant3 Krishnam.rti raised his hand to his forehead3
imitating the officer*s snappy sal.te: 2The ne?t morning it*s the same ro.tineA
brea9fast3 ne0spaper3 c.rtains bac93 sal.te3 report on the latest e6ents3 and so on:
"nd -reGhne6 as9s3 HIs there anything else I sho.ld 9no04* The captain says3
H7es3 Comrade Chairman3 there is an e6en larger cro0d o.t there in 'ed !@.are3
perhaps a h.ndred tho.sand of them3 and they seem to be picnic9ing:* H$et them3
let them3* replies the Chairman: HOn a s.nny morning li9e this3 the proletarian
masses sho.ld en1oy themsel6es a bit:* The ad1.tant gi6es his sal.te and trots off:
The ne?t morning3 the same thing again: HIs there anything else4* -reGhne6 as9s
at the end of it: "nd 0hen the chap starts3 pointing do0n at 'ed !@.are3 the
Chairman la.ghingly raises his hand and stops him3 H"ll right comrade3 I thin9 I
9no0 e?actly 0hat yo. are going to tell meA on this lo6ely morning there is a
large cro0d of a million people do0n there in 'ed !@.are3 and they are ha6ing a
picnic: "m I right4* H7es3 yo. are right3 Comrade Chairman3* ans0ers the
ad1.tant: H-.t there is one other thingA they are all eating 0ith chopstic9s:*5
"fter 0e had been la.ghing for a 0hile3 Krishnam.rti t.rned to me and as9ed3
0ith a t0in9le in his eye and a to.ch of irony in his 6oice3 2Is there any other
important ne0s that I sho.ld 9no0 abo.t45 This inflamed o.r la.ghter ane03 and
it also po.red oil on my fire: I remembered a short notice in the science section
of the Times that described the recent disco6ery of a celestial body3 called a
@.asar3 in the 6icinity of o.r gala?y: This @.asar 0as said to ha6e prodigio.s
energy: Krishnam.rti 0as @.ite capti6ated by my acco.nt of the cosmic
disco6ery3 listening 0ith great attention:
Inspired by this imprompt. performance3 I 0o.ld3 in the follo0ing days and
0ee9s3 gi6e an acco.nt of the most salient 0orld e6ents to Krishnam.rti3
especially 0hen there 0as a l.ll in the con6ersation: -.t I 0o.ld only do so
0hen 0e 0ere in a small circle and 0hen I happened to be sitting close to
Krishnam.rti3 since it 0as primarily to him that I 0as reporting: Telling him the
0orld ne0s grad.ally became a ne0 role of mine: )is playf.l attit.de to0ard my
l.nch8table anchoring had a lot to do 0ith it: )e clearly en1oyed my brief
informati6e re6ie0s of global e6ents and3 before long3 began to enco.rage me3
partic.larly 0hen I forgot to ma9e my daily ne0s anno.ncement3 by as9ing me
@.ite serio.sly3 2#hat*s the ne0s3 sir45
It became an endearing little game bet0een .s3 that3 altho.gh am.sing at a
certain le6el3 allo0ed a ne0 form of serio.sness: It 0as a special bond that had
come abo.t @.ite nat.rally3 practically of its o0n accord3 0itho.t moti6e or plan
on either side: )is genero.s h.mor and gen.ine c.riosity abo.t 0hat 0as
happening in the 0orld 9ept it ali6e: There also 0as a playf.lness abo.t it3 and I
0as glad to ha6e a specific medi.m of comm.nication 0ith him3 altho.gh this
0as by no means e?cl.si6e3 since anyone co.ld t.ne in at any time:
"t the beginning of o.r game3 I reported the ne0s on the sp.r of the moment
off the top of my head3 0itho.t any prior tho.ght or rehearsal: -.t as 2#hat*s the
ne0s3 sir45 became a reg.lar @.estion3 an almost daily occ.rrence3 it also became
a challenge: I rarely fo.nd myself .nable to p.ll a ne0s0orthy item o.t of the
media8hat: -.t sometimes the facts I presented3 or the partic.lar angle of my
presentation3 0o.ld be challenged by a 0ell8informed l.nch participant: !o I had
to get my facts straight3 in order not to be on the defensi6e abo.t them:
!im.ltaneo.sly3 I felt a great .rge to be both acc.rate and e?cellent in the
entertainment I pro6ided: The challenge 0as primarily inspired by Krishnam.rti3
0ho 0itho.t effort or intention seemed to bring o.t a person*s higher aspirations:
My initial off8the8c.ff ne0s8anchoring grad.ally became more sophisticated
and styliGed3 b.t also less repetiti6e: "t the o.tset3 I simply @.oted headlines and
pro6ided a synopsis of the most o.tstanding e6ents of the day: Krishnam.rti 0as
probably familiar 0ith most of 0hat I 0as tal9ing abo.t: 6en so3 he listened
attenti6ely to my recapit.lation of the day*s top stories3 and it 0as seldom that he
interr.pted me 0ith3 2I 9no03 sir3 I 9no0:5 Therefore3 I tended to foc.s more and
more on less p.bliciGed e6ents: -efore long I fo.nd that I 0as dedicating
considerable amo.nts of time and energy to researching the often con6ol.ted
happenings in the political arena: My mainstay3 ho0e6er3 remained the small
beat8.p des98top radio that I 9ept t.ned to the all8ne0s station:
#hen there 0ere many g.ests or someone special 0as in6ited for l.nch3 0e
0o.ld s.spend the game of 2#hat*s the ne0s3 sir45 On these occasions3
Krishnam.rti 0o.ld seldom forget to @.ery me in the 9itchen3 or3 li9e an
aftertho.ght3 he 0o.ld 0al9 .p to me after the meal and in@.ire3 2#hat*s the
ne0s3 sir35 1.st bet0een the t0o of .s: O.r ne0s game 0ent on for months and
years3 starting ane0 each season 0hen Krishnam.rti came to O1ai: ach time3 it
too9 on a slightly different form3 as 2#hat*s the ne0s3 sir45 became something
of an instit.tion at ":/:
-.t3 of co.rse3 o.rs 0asn*t the only game in to0nA I disco6ered that
Krishnam.rti 0as fond of playing these small personal games 0ith se6eral of his
friends: One of them3 Mr: $illiefelt3 a retired (:N: diplomat from !0eden3 had a
rain8meas.ring de6ice in his garden: )e 0o.ld as9 him3 2)o0 many inches3 sir45
2#e had one inch of rain this morning3 Krishna1i:5
"nd they proceeded to e?press their delighted satisfaction at the ab.ndant
0atering of the 6alley and engage in a brief e?change abo.t seasonal and a6erage
rainfall:
J
"nother game re6ol6ed aro.nd Krishnam.rti*s precio.s +ate98+hilippe poc9et8
0atch: )ere the @.estion 0as3 2)o0 many seconds3 sir45 #hen he disco6ered
that his timepiece 0as se6eral seconds slo03 he 0as eager to ha6e it fine8t.ned:
The maintenance man 0ith 0hom he had compared the time offered to chec9 and
ad1.st it for him: )e had it cleaned and set it to (ni6ersal !tandard Time3 then
ret.rned the 0atch to Krishnam.rti: #hene6er he came for l.nch3 Krishnam.rti
0o.ld 0al9 .p to him and hand him his 0atch3 as9ing .pon its ret.rn3 2)o0
many seconds3 sir45 and the other man 0o.ld ans0er3 2It*s still half a second
slo03 sir:5 This 0ent on for some 0ee9s3 .ntil at last the ans0er 0asA 2It*s
acc.rate to the second3 sir:5
"ltho.gh these endearing games and 1o9es bro.ght a light8hearted element to
o.r l.nch gatherings at ":/:3 they did not deflect from the sense of profo.nd
serio.sness that Krishnam.rti manifested among .s: )is serio.sness 0as li9e a
roc93 and nothing co.ld mo6e it: It 0as rooted in the act.ality of the moment3 in
the li6ing so.rce of energy3 b.t it did not e?cl.de h.mor and la.ghter:
Cha%ter 10
) " / N $ 7 # " T ' !
Starters
Tossed green salad with choice of
vinaigrette or parsley dressing.
1ild rice salad prepared with currants, capers,
pine nuts and marinated, sun#dried tomatoes.
rated carrots, touched with lemon and honey.
Main Dishes
Steamed millet garnished
with toasted almond slivers.
arbanzo bean stew, coo%ed in its
own sauce with tahini and lemon "uice,
finely chopped onions, celery and parsley.
Swiss chard, steamed and dressed with olive oil,
garlic, lemon "uice and a round of
freshly grated nutmeg.
Dessert
2am souffl3, made of ba%ed yams,
maple syrup, butter, eggs and zest of orange.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
197; 0as a year of prodigio.s rainfall in !o.thern California3 0ith dramatic
flooding3 especially in mo.ntaino.s regions li9e the O1ai /alley: ,or days on
end3 it 9ept po.ring do0n from dar98grey3 clo.d8co6ered s9ies: The dry barranca
of Thacher Cree93 0hich intersected Mc"ndre0 'oad .nderneath a bridge 1.st a
h.ndred yards .p from ":/:3 0as almost o6erflo0ing 0ith dar98bro0n3 s0irling
0ater:
#hile 0e 0ere gathered aro.nd the l.nch table3 0e co.ld hear not only the
intense dr.mming of the rain on the roof3 b.t also the roar of Thacher Cree9 and
the lo.d 9noc9 of giant bo.lders smashing against one another: #e 0ere
disc.ssing 0hat 0o.ld happen 0ith the +.blic Tal9s3 0hich 0ere sched.led to
start ne?t 0ee93 at the beginning of "pril: " lady tr.stee o.tlined a contingency
plan: It 0as clear3 she said3 that the Tal9s co.ld not ta9e place as planned in the
Oa9 &ro6e3 e6en if the rains had stopped by then3 since the par9ing lot 0as a
field of m.d: ,or most of the 0ee9end tal9s3 arrangements had been made for
Krishnam.rti to spea9 in the Nordhoff )igh !chool gymnasi.m: The T.esday
and Th.rsday @.estion8and8ans0er meetings 0ere to be held at the $ibbey -o0l3
0eather permitting: It 0as an animated disc.ssion and e6erybody chipped in3
0hile Krishnam.rti leaned bac9 in his chair and listened @.ietly b.t intensely to
0hat 0as being said: "t first3 it seemed odd to me that3 in a matter of 6ital
concern to him3 he 0o.ld remain rather tacit.rn: Only on reflection did it occ.r
to me that this simply 0as his styleA he had delegated the responsibility for the
organiGation of the tal9s to the tr.stees3 and they 0ere ta9ing care of it: Nat.rally3
they cons.lted 0ith him and 0o.ld not do anything against his 0ishes3 b.t
basically he let them do their 1ob 0itho.t .nd.e interference on his part:
The contin.ing do0npo.r and o.r common concern abo.t the forthcoming
Tal9s created a strong sense of togetherness among .s3 as 0e h.ddled aro.nd the
table: #hile the other ten g.ests 0ere in6ol6ed in a li6ely con6ersation abo.t
dates3 locations and alternati6e possibilities3 I 0as 0atching Krishnam.rti: )is
facial e?pression 0as ne.tral3 as he intently follo0ed the goings8on: <.st then his
hand reached for his empty glass3 as if he 0anted to ta9e a drin93 so I @.ic9ly
grasped the 0ater pitcher ne?t to me and made to po.r some 0ater into the glass:
!.rprised at my @.ic9 reaction3 he raised his eyes to0ard me:
2<.st po.r me a little3 sir35 he said:
I had po.red less than half an inch into his glass 0hen he said3 2Than9 yo.3
sir: That*s eno.gh:5
I 0as al0ays s.rprised at the small amo.nt of li@.id he cons.med d.ring
meals: !ometimes3 0hen I had po.red him some 0ater3 he 0o.ld point o.t to me
at the end of the meal caref.lly that he hadn*t to.ched it: I3 in t.rn3 0o.ld ass.re
him that it 0o.ldn*t go to 0aste and po.r it into the 9ettle for the ne?t c.p of tea:
)e 0o.ld smile3 satisfied 0ith my fr.gality:
No0 he too9 a small sip from the glass and t.rned his attention to the ongoing
disc.ssion: "fter some min.tes3 most of the details seemed to ha6e been
clarified3 and one of the lady tr.stees t.rned to0ard Krishnam.rti and as9ed3
2)o0 does that so.nd3 Krishna1i4 %o yo. thin9 0e can do it li9e this45
)e ga6e her a bright smile and replied3 27es3 it appears all right: Only3 0hat
shall 0e do if it rains on a day of dialog.e45
The lady sighed: 2#ell3 Krishna1i3 then 0e either ha6e to cancel it3 or 0e
might rent the "rt Center a.ditori.m: #hat do yo. thin945 she as9ed the
director:
2That*s a possibility35 he ans0ered: 2Only the capacity there is rather limitedA
one h.ndred and fifty or se6enty8fi6e ma?im.m3 I thin9: "nd the ,ire Marshall is
@.ite strict abo.t it:5
<.st then a s@.all of rain created a lo.d staccato noise3 and e6eryone fell
silent: "fter a 0hile Krishnam.rti said3 27o.*ll 0or9 it o.t:5 #ith a @.ic9 loo9
aro.nd3 he contin.ed3 2This rain reminds me of a lo6ely story: 7o. may ha6e
heard it before: Narada is a yogi so accomplished that one day the god /ishn.
appears to him and says3 HNarada3 I grant yo. any 0ish yo. may ha6e: <.st tell
me and I*ll ma9e it happen:* !o Narada says to /ishn.3 H"ll I 0ant is to
.nderstand Maya3 the po0er of ill.sion:* "nd /ishn. sighs3 HThat is 6ery
diffic.lt to do: Is there nothing else yo. 0ant3 money or po0er3 or some di6ine
pleas.re4* -.t Narada insists3 HThat*s all I 0ant:* /ishn. says3 H"ll right3 then:
-.t it*s a lo6ely day3 so let*s ta9e a 0al9 0hile I e?plain this to yo.:* They are
0al9ing among the hills li9e t0o friends3 loo9ing at the magnificent sno08capped
mo.ntains in the distance: The s.n is shining 6ery strongly3 and /ishn. stops
beneath a shady tree and says to Narada3 H-y <o6e3 it*s hot and I*m 6ery thirsty:
!o before 0e go into this3 co.ld yo. perhaps fetch me a glass of 0ater from that
cottage do0n there4 I*ll 0ait here:* Narada says3 H-.t of co.rse3 $ord: I*ll be
right bac9:* "nd he trots off and 9noc9s on the door of the cottage: The door is
opened by a girl of the most enchanting bea.ty: )e*s @.ite entranced as she as9s
him into the ho.se: )e meets her family and they in6ite him to ha6e l.nch 0ith
them3 and before he 9no0s it he*s fallen in lo6e 0ith the yo.ng girl: They in6ite
him to stay for the night3 and e6ent.ally he marries the girl: They ha6e children
and lead a happy and prospero.s life: One year3 tho.gh3 the monsoons are
stronger than e6er: It 9eeps on raining day after day3 flooding the fields and
s0eeping a0ay ho.ses: "s the 0aters 9eep rising3 Narada ta9es his 0ife and
children by the hand3 the yo.ngest on his sho.lders3 and together they try to sa6e
their li6es by climbing on top of the roof: -.t the children3 one after the other3
are s0ept a0ay by the raging 0aters: "nd 1.st as he attempts to p.ll his 0ife onto
the roof3 she also is eng.lfed by the flood: Narada feels .tterly de6astated by this
total loss of e6erything he cherished: )e is barely hanging on to dear life and3 in
his despair3 he fer6ently starts to pray3 H+lease3 $ord3 help me in this misery:*
"nd thro.gh the roar of the 0ater comes $ord /ishn.*s 6oice3 H"nd 0here is my
glass of 0ater4*5
"midst the noise of the descending rain3 0e b.rst o.t la.ghing: )earing
Krishnam.rti tell an anecdote or 1o9e 0as al0ays a great en1oyment for me: It
ne6er ceased to amaGe me that a man 0ho li6ed and form.lated a teaching of
.ni@.e insight and s.blimity 0o.ld at the same time en1oy telling 1o9es: Of
co.rse3 they 0ere good 1o9es: In this case3 I recogniGed the story as an
abbre6iated 6ersion of the ancient )ind. myth of Narada and /ishn.3 0hich is
also retold in the final chapter of )ermann )esse*s The AlassBCead Aame:
J
!.bse@.ently3 the 197; p.blic tal9s 0ere held at the Nordhoff )igh !chool
gymnasi.m and the $ibbey -o0l: 'ain forced one of the dialog.e meetings to be
mo6ed to the O1ai "rts Center at the last moment: The hall 0as completely
pac9ed3 and an additional h.ndred and fifty people 0ere 0aiting to get in: !ince
there 0as no more room3 se6eral lo.dspea9ers 0ere @.ic9ly installed o.tside3 so
that those standing in the rain co.ld follo0 the dialog.e protected by .mbrellas
and rain gear:
Indoors3 it appeared rather cla.strophobic3 0ith people crammed against one
another: 6en Krishnam.rti on the small stage co.ldn*t escape from being
0edged in by people 0ho had no other place to sit or stand: !e6eral of the school
staff3 incl.ding myself3 formed a 9ind of protecti6e circle aro.nd him3 so that he
might at least ha6e some minim.m of elbo0 room: -esides3 the aco.stics of the
hall3 combined 0ith the so.nd of the rain streaming do0n3 made it diffic.lt for
him to hear 0hat 0as being said: Conse@.ently3 he as9ed one of the teachers 0ho
0as sitting ne?t to him to repeat each @.estion and statement from the a.dience:
%espite this some0hat a090ard arrangement3 it t.rned o.t to be a 6ery li6ely
and in6igorating @.estion8and8ans0er meeting: Its special @.ality of togetherness
might ha6e been created3 in part3 by o.r physical closeness and the ad6ersity of
the elements:
J
It had become more and more e6ident that Krishnam.rti sometimes had diffic.lty
hearing3 especially 0hen there 0as a great deal of bac9gro.nd noise3 or 0hen
se6eral people 0ere spea9ing at once: %.ring staff disc.ssions at +ine Cottage
and at p.blic dialog.es it 0as often necessary to repeat a @.estion se6eral times
before he .nderstood it: !ome of the staff became concerned abo.t his increasing
deafness: Tal9ing it o6er 0ith him and Mary >:3 they proposed that he ma9e .se
of a hearing aid: "fter lengthy deliberations and initial hesitation3 he agreed to try
it o.t: "fter 0earing the de6ice a n.mber of times3 he co.ldn*t get acc.stomed to
ad1.sting the so.nd le6el3 0hich prod.ced a penetrating high8pitch 0hine: Nor
did he seem to li9e the sensation of ha6ing something 1ammed behind his
earlobes: Conse@.ently3 0e had to contin.e repeating the @.estions:
J
The final tal9 of the 197; O1ai series too9 place at a rather .nli9ely location3 the
Nordhoff )igh !chool sports gro.nds: " small stage had been set .p on the
football field in front of the bleachers: It 0as a spar9lingly clear morning3 and a
cold 0ind 0as chasing 0hite clo.ds across the deep8bl.e s9y: It seemed an odd
set8.pCthe steeply tiered benches on one side filled 0ith people h.ddled in coats
and blan9ets3 and3 on the other side3 one single man spea9ing from a platform in
an other0ise empty field: The 0ind created 0hirring so.nd effects on the
lo.dspea9er system3 0hile3 on the left3 cars 0ere b.sily passing by along the
Maricopa )igh0ay: -.t on this bea.tif.l morning Krishnam.rti appeared
.nfaGed by these .n.s.al circ.mstances: (npert.rbed and almost stern3 he tal9ed
abo.t meditation3 death3 lo6e and the sacred:
J
" fe0 days after the concl.sion of the tal9s3 he and Mary >: 0ent to 6isit the ne0
#olf $a9e !chool on /anco.6er Island in -ritish Col.mbia: "fter his ret.rn to
O1ai3 he only stayed another 0ee9 before embar9ing on his ann.al 1o.rney3
0hich led him to -roc90ood +ar9 at the beginning of May3 then to !aanen3 bac9
to -roc90ood +ar93 and on to India in October:
J
I stayed in California and 0as b.sy at the Oa9 &ro6e !chool3 b.t I missed
attending the tal9s in the 6ario.s locations: In !eptember3 197; 0e started
recei6ing circ.lar letters from him: These 0ere later p.blished as Letters to the
Dchools: In pointed and s.ccinct style3 they foc.sed the attention of both teachers
and st.dents on the serio.s @.estions of life: They a6eraged bet0een one and t0o
pages in length3 encaps.lating the essence of his teaching and the meaning of
ed.cation as he en6isioned it: In them3 he often employed rather startling phrases3
s.ch as Hideals corr.pt the mind*K Hleis.re implies a mind that has infinite time to
obser6e*K Hearning a li6elihood is the denial of li6ing*K H&od is disorder*K H0e li6e
by 0ords and 0ords become o.r prison*K and so on: "ltho.gh they 0ere 0ritten
in an impersonal tone and addressed to the h.ndreds of staff and tho.sands of
st.dents at the schools in O1ai3 Canada3 ngland and India3 I felt they 0ere
spea9ing to me personally: "s 0e recei6ed them for se6eral years3 they became
the basis for many animated staff disc.ssions abo.t the significance of ed.cation
and o.r role in it:
J
Krishnam.rti ret.rned to O1ai in ,ebr.ary3 1979: There 0ere abo.t si?teen g.ests
at the !at.rday l.ncheon follo0ing his arri6al: 6eryone 0as glad to see him
again3 and it felt li9e one big family3 a gathering of friends 0ho 0elcomed bac9
the person 0ho had bro.ght them all together in the first place: I 0as sitting
diagonally across from Krishnam.rti and noticed that he 0as rather pensi6e and
reticent: "ltho.gh he follo0ed the li6ely con6ersation3 he rarely participated in
any of it: !ince he had only recently arri6ed from India3 0ith a brief stopo6er at
-roc90ood +ar93 some people as9ed him abo.t the schools there3 b.t recei6ed
only perf.nctory ans0ers: !omething else 0as occ.pying his mind:
Most of the g.ests had started to en1oy their chocolate mo.sse3 0hen
Krishnam.rti all at once abandoned his remoteness and addressed the t0o people
ne?t to him: "s 0as often the case3 his @.estion 0as decepti6ely simple in style3
and yet it had the impact of a perspecti6e entirely different from that of other
brains: "nd it seemed to be directly related to the sit.ation at hand: O.t of the
bl.e he as9ed3 2#hat is the "merican mind45
The people aro.nd the table reacted in silent .nison as they absorbed the
@.estionA e6eryone stopped che0ing3 lo0ered for9s or spoons3 and t.rned their
heads to0ard the so.rce of the @.estion: It reminded me of a tele6ision
commercialA 0hen Krishna1i spo9e3 people listened: I also 6ag.ely recalled that
Krishnam.rti had raised the identical @.estion se6eral years earlier on his arri6al
in California: Maybe he as9ed it beca.se the immediate impressions of "merican
c.lt.re and society 0ere still fresh in his mind:
No immediate response 0as forthcoming: )e repeated it .rgently into the
silence that 0as created by a doGen brains pondering his 0ordsA 2#hat is the
"merican mind45 I co.ld almost hear the mental 0heels t.rning and crea9ing in
each indi6id.al s9.ll3 beca.se it 0asn*t a flippant or cas.al @.estion b.t one that
to.ched the c.lt.ral roots of most of those present: Only a fe0 of .s3 li9e
Krishnam.rti and myself3 0ere resident aliens:
"fter some time3 se6eral people began 6oicing their opinions: "n older lady
6ol.nteered3 2#ell3 material and commercial concerns certainly are important
feat.res of the "merican mind: Money3 property3 and material standard of li6ing
are probably cherished more than anything else:5
2Of co.rse3 it*s the "merican %ream35 someone conc.rred:
2#hat is the "merican %ream45 I as9ed3 ha6ing a rather 6ag.e notion of
0hat 0as implied by this often8heard term:
2It*s ha6ing yo.r o0n ho.se3 yo.r o0n car3 and also the e?pectation and
belief that e6erything 0ill al0ays become better35 "lan e?plained:
2No3 no35 Krishnam.rti said 0ith a dismissi6e gest.re3 2that doesn*t really
ans0er the @.estion: "fter all3 most of the #estern 0orld3 perhaps e6en the
0hole 0orld3 is highly materialistic and commercialiGed: That*s not a .ni@.ely
"merican characteristic: No: #hat is the "merican mindCin its essence4 #hat
ma9es it different from the ,rench3 the nglish3 the Chinese mind45
One of the tr.stees opined3 2The "merican mind is highly indi6id.alistic:
+ersonal initiati6e and enterprise are highly 6al.ed:::5
"nother disappro6ing headsha9e by Krishnam.rti3 0ho 9ept a tight rein on
the co.rse of the disc.ssion3 holding it 0ithin the parameters of his @.estion:
2No3 no:::5
2There is a nai6etQ there3 an innocence of mind3 a childli9e @.ality3 0hich is
c.rio.s abo.t e6erythingCplayf.l3 b.t also 6ery genero.s35 another lady
s.ggested:
This intrig.ed Krishnam.rti and 0as at length e?amined by him and se6eral
others3 0ho conc.rred 0ith it as a characteriGation of the "merican mind: In
se6eral respects it corresponded 0ith some of Krishnam.rti*s earliest impressions
of "merica3 0hen he and his brother Nitya had come to California for the first
time in 19MM: )e had 0ritten an essay abo.t this initial contact 0ith the Ne0
#orld3 in 0hich he enth.siastically described the bea.ty of the land and the
open3 .npre1.diced mentality of the people3 0ith their yo.thf.l Gest for life:
nco.ntering a more tolerant attit.de than he had fo.nd in -ritain and other parts
of the 0orld3 0here his dar9 comple?ion sometimes ca.sed p.blic derision3 had
clearly had a positi6e impact on the yo.ng Krishnam.rti*s mind: -.t3 of co.rse3 a
great many things had changed in "merica and else0here d.ring the inter6ening
si? decades: Not only had the (:!: gro0n enormo.sly in pop.lation and in
military and economic po0er3 there 0ere also .nmista9able indications of social
decadence:
)e partly conc.rred 0ith the 6ie0 offered3 b.t he also dissented: I don*t thin9
he had already arri6ed at a specific ans0er to his @.estion and 0as 0aiting for .s
to ferret it o.t3 b.t he had a specific3 and probably 6ery holistic perception of the
@.ality of the "merican mind: This mind 0as no03 thro.gh amiably shared
in6estigation3 to be e?plored in act.al operation:
)e caref.lly concealed his response by saying3 27es3 there is something to
that: There is a certain nai6etQ and innocence3 b.t it doesn*t @.ite capt.re the
.ni@.e @.ality of that mind:5
"nother person attempted to phrase her sentiments abo.t the @.intessence of
the "merican psyche: 2-.t sir3 isn*t it freedom 0hich is the great
accomplishment of the "merican mind4 !ocial freedom3 freedom to choose3
e@.al opport.nities for all45
)er s.ggestion ca.sed la.ghter3 in 0hich Krishnam.rti 1oined3 beca.se so
m.ch of 0hat he proposed in his teaching pi6oted aro.nd freedom as a
psychological act.ality: Th.s3 he .sed the 0ord Hfreedom* in a 6ery s.btle and
p.re sense: It 0asn*t Hfreedom from* or Hfreedom to* that he 0as tal9ing abo.t3
nor pop.lar concept.aliGations li9e Hfreedom of choice* or Hfreedom to do 0hat
one li9es*: None of these to.ched the intrinsic bea.ty of the primal @.ality of
e?istence that he 0as hinting at: The closest 6erbal form.lation that I co.ld thin9
of 0as Hfreedom of obser6ation*:
"nother g.est no0 s.ggested3 2One co.ld indeed propose that3 in this society3
an act.al basic e@.ality e?ists for e6eryone: It*s e?emplified by the 1.dicial
system3 to 0hich e6eryone has access:5
" li6ely disc.ssion3 pro and con3 ens.ed3 d.ring 0hich the 6irt.es and 6ices
of the (:!: legal system 0ere appraised: " teacher arg.ed3 2#ell3 it*s tr.e3 isn*t
it3 that e6eryone has e@.al access to the la0: That really means e6eryone can s.e
anyone else for any old reason: There is3 of co.rse3 a meas.re of 1.stice in that
b.t:::5
One of the tr.stees interr.pted him3 2-.t see 0hat happensA 0e ha6e the most
litigio.s society in the 0orld: Nobody*s 0ord means anything any moreK any
9ind of agreement or deal has to be p.t in doc.ments3 sealed3 confirmed3 and
signed by 1.dges and la0yers:5
" lady conc.rred3 2R.ite rightA there are no0 o6er 7II3III la0yers in this
co.ntry3 tho.sands more being added each yearCmore than any0here else in the
0orld: -.t is there any real concern abo.t 1.stice4 6ery attorney 1.st 0ants to
0in his or her case3 regardless of the act.al facts of the matter:5
2-.t ho0 else 0o.ld yo. propose that an open 1.stice system f.nction45
inter1ected a la0yer:
2+lease35 Krishnam.rti calmed the choppy 0a6es3 only to trigger a tsunami of
his o0n3 2let*s face the simple factA there is no 1.stice in the 0orld: Not here3 nor
any0here else: That*s an indisp.table fact: <.stice doesn*t e?ist: ,ace it3 sirsL5
,or a moment I felt th.nderstr.c9 by his simple assessment: It 0as not so
m.ch that I had ne6er before heard or entertained a notion li9e that3 b.t3 as 0as
often the case3 his obser6ations3 e?pressed in simple3 precise 0ords3 had a
tremendo.s force and seemed to affect the 6ery depth of my conscio.sness: I felt
I 0as directly percei6ing the tr.th of 0hat he 0as saying3 0ith its m.ltifario.s
implications: It 0as as if in an instant I 0as 6ie0ing the 0hole net0or9 of
ill.sion3 0hich had been created by the concept H1.stice*3 and the .nderlying
ass.mption that it e?isted or might be realiGed by h.man endea6or:
!im.ltaneo.sly3 it 0as clear to me that this insight did not negate the desirability3
indeed the necessity3 for any h.man social str.ct.re to stri6e for balance3
fairness3 and e@.ality before the la0: -.t .nderstanding the fact that 1.stice did
not e?ist and 0as nothing b.t a constr.ct of tho.ght 0as the precondition for
ma9ing it possible at all:
6erybody at the table seemed as shoc9ed as myself and listened attenti6ely3
as Krishnam.rti contin.ed to e?po.nd his 6ie0: 2#hat 1.stice is there in thisA
yo. are born here3 in this co.ntryCgood ed.cation3 rich family and so on: The
other chap is born in "frica3 or some dreadf.lly poor co.ntryCpoor family3
star6ing3 no ed.cation: #hat 1.stice is there in that4 Or yo. get into tro.ble35 he
said 0ith a ch.c9le3 perhaps at the abs.rdity of it all3 2yo. get into tro.ble 0ith
the la0: 7o. ha6e got the money to hire a good la0yer3 and yo. 0al9 a0ay from
it: The other chapCpoor3 .ned.cated3 and all thatChe is p.t in 1ail for the same
offense3 right4 7o. 9no0 all that3 don*t yo.4 No3 1.stice does not e?ist:5
There 0as a long inter6al of silence after this statement: I loo9ed aro.nd and
sa0 e6erybody follo0ing their o0n tho.ghts3 or listening in0ardly as the
startling re6elation san9 in:
It 0as not .ncommon at all that moments of clear silence occ.rred aro.nd the
l.nch table3 settling gently li9e sno0 on a hilly landscape: One co.ld feel the
beating of one*s heart and the rhythm of breath3 and 0e 0ere @.iet together:
2No3 no3 no35 Krishnam.rti said: 2#hat is the "merican mind4 "ns0er my
@.estion3 sir: #hat is its f.ndamental @.ality45
" lady tr.stee raised a s.dden ob1ection: 2-.t3 Krishna1i3 is this the right
@.estion4 #hat do yo. mean by H"merican mind*4 That*s an enormo.s
generaliGation3 isn*t it4 "nd isn*t this 0hat creates pre1.dices abo.t different
nationalities and c.lt.res45
Krishnam.rti listened to her 0ith a smile3 then loo9ed at the teacher sitting
across from him3 0ho hadn*t .ttered a 0ord thro.gho.t the 0hole con6ersation:
#itho.t directly responding to the lady*s arg.ment3 he addressed him3 2$isten3
sir: Of co.rse it*s a tremendo.s generaliGation: -.t there is something li9e the
"merican mindCthat*s clear3 isn*t it4 The "merican mind differs from the
Indian mind3 0hich is 6ery cle6er3 s.perstitio.s3 sloppy3 belie6es in hierarchy3
a.thority3 tradition3 and so on: Or the ,rench mindChighly indi6id.alistic3
selfish3 analytical3 6ery sharp3 ling.istic: Or the nglish mindC0hich is ins.lar3
isolated3 snobbish and all that:5
The theme of national characteristics 0as eagerly pic9ed .p and e6erybody
6oiced their obser6ations and opinions3 .ntil e6ent.ally Krishnam.rti reined in
the disc.ssion by @.ietly persisting3 2#hat is the "merican mind45
!ince nobody said anything3 he proceeded to ans0er his o0n @.estion by
combining a n.mber of pre6io.s s.ggestions3 2"ll right: The "merican mind is
g.llible3 s.perficial3 6.lgar: It*s 6ery changeable and belie6es in all sorts of
specialists for e6ery aspect of life: There is a specialist for religion3 for se?3 ho0
to beha6e3 li6e3 ho0 to sit3 and ho0 to comb yo.r hair: It*s enthralled by
entertainment3 is highly commercial and so on: -.t it*s also 6ery genero.s3 nai6e3
open3 c.rio.s and acti6e:5
The teacher 0ho sat across from Krishnam.rti and hadn*t said 6ery m.ch
.ntil no0 offered his assessment of the "merican mind by deliberately .ttering
one 0ordA 2+l.ralism:5 Krishnam.rti seemed intrig.ed by this slightly
mystifying e6al.ation: !ome of the people at the other end of the table as9ed3
2#hat did he say45
The teacher 0illingly repeated and e?panded his notion: 2+l.ralism: It implies
that the "merican mind and society allo0 for many different 6ie0s3 life styles3
6al.es and gro.pings: thnic3 c.lt.ral3 political or religio.s gro.ps can freely
e?ercise their respecti6e acti6ities3 can organiGe themsel6es and propagate their
6ie0s: The rights of minorities are protected by the Constit.tion and the la0 of
the land:5
)is concise o.tline fascinated Krishnam.rti3 maybe beca.se it came closer
than anything pre6io.sly mentioned to 0hat he felt 0as the essence of the
"merican mind: )is elaboration reminded me of the motto H pl.rib.s .n.m*
0ritten on all (:!: coins and the one8dollar bill3 0hich e?pressed the idea of
.nity and pl.ralism:
2'ight3 sir35 Krishnam.rti confirmed: 2The "merican mind is pl.ralistic: That
means3 doesn*t it3 that there act.ally may not be s.ch a thing as an "merican
mind3 beca.se it lac9s traditionK it*s still yo.ng3 mo6ing3 changing: -.t it
probably is also tremendo.sly bro9en .p3 fragmented and conf.sed:5
2$i9e most of .s35 @.ipped one of the lady tr.stees:
This fittingly capt.red 0hat co.ld be said abo.t the e?istence or non8
e?istence of the "merican mind: Most people 0ere nodding in silent agreement:
-y no03 ho0e6er3 it 0as almost three o*cloc93 and se6eral people rel.ctantly got
.p and apologiGed for ha6ing to lea6e beca.se of a commitment:
The con6ersation meandered idly from one s.b1ect to anotherA last night*s
splendid piano concerto3 the recent political .phea6al in Iran3 some school iss.es3
and so on: "t one point3 a lady as9ed him3 2Krishna1i3 0hen yo. gi6e a p.blic
tal93 as in the Oa9 &ro6e3 can yo. tell 0hether anyone in the a.dience really
.nderstands 0hat yo. are saying45 )is ans0er 0as c.rt and seemed to indicate
that he 0asn*t interested in p.rs.ing the s.b1ectA 2No3 madam: I ha6e no idea:5
J
The follo0ing month3 at the end of March3 a 0ee98long conference 0ith yo.ng
artists3 scientists and philosophers 0as sched.led to ta9e place at +ine Cottage: "
&erman professor of physics 0ho3 0ith his %anish8born 0ife3 had 1oined the
school t0o years earlier 0as organiGing the e6ent: The meetings bro.ght together
a gro.p of people from disparate c.lt.ral bac9gro.nds: There 0as a rabbi3 se6eral
!o.th "merican radicals3 and e6en a co.ple from the +ersian &.lf: It rarely
happened that people from an Islamic bac9gro.nd 0ere interested in
Krishnam.rti*s teaching: It 0as3 therefore3 a s.rprise to see t0o yo.ng "rabs
from K.0ait and -ahrain3 both st.dents at the (ni6ersity of California at !anta
-arbara3 come to participate in the conference: Thro.gho.t the meetings3 the
yo.ng man 9ept asserti6ely repeating his 6ie0s3 0hich 0eren*t really shared by
anyone else present3 e?cept perhaps by his girlfriend3 0ho 9ept @.iet: )is
insistence dist.rbed the flo0 of the dialog.e: "t the same time3 he 0as pert.rbed
by the opposition he enco.ntered:
"fter the second l.nch3 0hich 0as ser6ed on the bac9 patio3 Krishnam.rti
0ent to sit 0ith him: They con6ersed animatedly abo.t some of the tro.bling
iss.es: The yo.ng "rab3 0ith c.rly hair and handsome3 dar9 feat.res3 0as
passionate in the defense of his beliefs: Krishnam.rti 0as also passionate3 b.t in
a calm manner: !ince it 0asn*t a pri6ate con6ersation3 a small gro.p of .s
remained sitting at the red0ood tables3 eagerly listening to the con6ersation: The
st.dent 0as heatedly stating his point of 6ie03 deli6ering it 0ith e?plosi6e3
g.tt.ral emphasis: )e 6ehemently ob1ected to the s.ggestion that H&od* might
only be a concept created by h.man tho.ght3 and that psychological e6ol.tion
did not e?ist: -.t Krishnam.rti 0as hinting at something different: )e 0as
concerned 0ith the totality of h.man life in its e6eryday manifestation3 0ith
generational patterns that acc.m.lated into e6er8increasing c.lt.ral conditioning3
so that bit by bit3 the 6ast bea.ty of life 0as narro0ed into one small corner of
specialiGation and ro.tine:
"t one point3 Krishnam.rti 6igoro.sly pressed his long3 elegant inde? finger
on the maroon s.rface of the table: I 0as fascinated by the fle?ibility 0ith 0hich
the top t0o finger1oints bent at an almost ninety8degree angle: )e categorically
stated3 2-orn:5 )e pa.sed to loo9 at the other person for an indication that he had
grasped his meaning: -.t3 clearly3 the "rab 0as not the only one 0ho loo9ed
p.GGledA most of .s felt some0hat mystified:
Krishnam.rti slid his bent finger ten inches to0ard the right and said3 2%ie:5
"nd again he loo9ed aro.nd for a sign of .nderstanding before deli6ering the
p.nch line3 2Is that all45
There 0as no response: I felt rather perple?ed3 e6en conf.sed3 abo.t 0hat he
0as saying: ,or se6eral moments3 I 0as so absorbed by his finger mo6ement
across the table edge that I tho.ght he 0as tal9ing abo.t the table itself: Then it
da0ned on me that he 0as ill.strating the bre6ity and limitation of the indi6id.al
life span: )e repeated the same motion3 this time more @.ic9ly3 .sing the same
0ords to describe the mo6ement*s polar pointsA 2-ornCdie: Is that all45
)is gest.re and 0ords started to ta9e on the po0er of a >en 9oan: The yo.ng
"rab 0as getting impatient and 0as on the point of e6ading the iss.e by bringing
in his o0n ideas: -efore he had e6en opened his mo.th3 Krishnam.rti anticipated
the other*s mo6e 0ith lightning speed and grasped the man*s hand: "gain3 he
repeated the digital motion across the table3 stating emphatically3 2-ornCdie: Is
that all45
One of the listeners3 a lady tr.stee3 came to the yo.ng man*s resc.e by
@.erying3 2#ell3 0hat else is there3 Krishna1i4 One is born3 one li6es and one
dies:5
)e glanced at her 0ith moc9 s.rprise3 as if astonished by her simple8
mindedness: Then he shr.gged3 thro0ing .p his hands in a gest.re of resignation3
2If that is allCborn and dieCthen:::5
)e dramatically left the sentence .nfinished3 allo0ing e6eryone*s imagination
to fill in the gap:
The K.0aiti did not follo0 the arg.ment and ret.rned to his assertion that
&od had a hand in it all: ach time he made his point3 Krishnam.rti 0o.ld
calmly ta9e the yo.ng man*s hand in his3 placing their clasped hands on the table
bet0een them: I sa0 it as a gest.re of impersonal friendshipA that3 despite
di6erging points of 6ie03 there 0as no di6ision bet0een them: #hene6er the
"rab spo9e3 he half8conscio.sly freed his hand from the older man*s grip3 and as
soon as it 0as Krishnam.rti*s t.rn he again too9 hold of the other*s hand: This
happened se6eral times3 to the s.bd.ed am.sement of the onloo9ers3 0hile the
yo.ng man in his agitated state appeared .na0are of the rec.rring gest.re of
affection: ,inally3 Krishnam.rti deliberately grasped the other*s hand and lifted it
high for e6eryone to see3 as a referee raises the 6ictor*s arm in the bo?ing ring:
#e started to la.gh o.t lo.d: "t this point the yo.ng man became conscio.s of
the hand8holding3 hand8releasing pattern3 and ga6e an embarrassed smile3 before
finally sharing in the common mirth: Krishnam.rti3 raising their 1oined hands
once more3 la.ghed3 2I 1.st 0on*t let yo. go li9e that:5
!e6eral 0ee9s later3 the K.0aiti appeared at ":/: 0ith a large 0o6en bas9et
of dates3 dried fr.it and s0eets that he 0anted to present to Krishnam.rti: T0o
years after that3 I enco.ntered him again at the tal9s in the Oa9 &ro6e: )is
-ahraini girlfriend3 no0 his 0ife3 0as 0ith him3 and they told me that before
long they 0ere going to ret.rn to their homeland in the +ersian &.lf:
Cha%ter 11
" M " N # I T )
" ' $ I & I O ( ! M I N %
Starters
'antaloupe slices touched with lemon "uice.
Tossed green salad with choice of
vinaigrette or 4555 island dressing.
(arinated spinach roots.
rated carrots.
reen cabbage coleslaw.
Main Dishes
reen split pea soup, made with onions,
bell peppers, celery, and cubed carrots
with plenty of parsley.
,a%ed potatoes with sour cream.
Steamed cauliflower, served with
sauce olivos6olives, capers and
7smo%ed8 yeast in olive oil.
Dessert
Rice pudding, prepared with white basmati rice,
raisins, almonds, sugar, vanilla,
cinnamon, eggs, and mil%.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
"fter the concl.sion of the conference it 0as only a 0ee9 .ntil the beginning of
the p.blic tal9s on "pril 73 1979: On the inter6ening #ednesday 0e 0ere en
$amille aro.nd the l.nch table: It 0as a simple l.ncheon for fo.rteen people3
starting 0ith cantalo.pe and tossed green salad3 marinated spinach roots3 grated
carrots and colesla0: The hot food 0as green split pea so.p3 ba9ed potatoes 0ith
so.r cream3 and steamed ca.liflo0er 0ith sauce olivos: The dessert 0as rice
p.dding:
6erybody 0as rela?ed3 and the easy8going con6ersation centered aro.nd
poetry: !e6eral of .s 0ere tal9ing abo.t o.r fa6orite poets: In response to a
@.estion3 I said3 2I really li9e 'il9e3 b.t also $orca3 Ner.da3 and some of the
,rench poets3 li9e /illon3 'imba.d and -a.delaire:5 Noting that Krishnam.rti
hadn*t as yet re6ealed his poetic preferences3 I addressed him Ohe 0as sitting
diagonally across from meP3 2"re there any poets that yo. are fond of3
Krishna1i45
6eryone*s attention shifted to0ard him3 as he leaned bac9 in his chair and
0ith a fond smile said3 2"h3 the poetry of Keats is 6ery special: #hat is it called3
Ode:::45
2(de to a 8i#htin#ale45 I s.ggested:
2No3 the other one35 he said3 s.ddenly remembering it3 2(de on a Arecian
ErnA HTho. still .nra6ish*d bride of @.ietness*3 that*s ho0 it starts3 and it ends
0ith H-ea.ty is tr.th3 tr.th bea.tyCthat is all D 7e 9no0 on earth3 and all ye need
to 9no0:*5 #hile he 0as reciting the lines he closed his eyes3 and his 6oice
ass.med a dramatic tone: One co.ld tell that he lo6ed the poetry: Opening his
eyes again3 he too9 a deep breath3 sha9ing his head a little as if to dispel an
o6er0helming impression and3 0ith a delighted smile3 said3 2I .sed to be able to
recite the 0hole poem b.t I*6e forgotten most of itCalso some of the other
'omantic poets 0e .sed to readA !helley3 $ord -yron3 Coleridge3 and
#ords0orth:5
" yo.ng female teacher as9ed3 2Is it tr.e3 sir3 that yo. .sed to read the
-ible45
To o.r s.rprise he ans0ered 0ith a @.ic9 la.gh3 27es3 b.t only the old part3
0hat is it called3 the Old Testament in the King <ames translation:5
2#hy 0o.ld yo. read the !cript.res3 Krishna1i4 I tho.ght yo. said yo. ne6er
read any of the so8called )oly -oo9s45
2I lo6e the lang.age3 the poetry of it35 he responded: 2I*m not interested in the
fairy tales abo.t an angry god and all that r.bbish: I don*t read it beca.se I
belie6e it contains a partic.lar message of tr.th3 or is some sort of di6ine
re6elation: That is s.ch .tter nonsense: No boo9 can contain the tr.th: Tr.th is a
li6ing thing: It is:::5 )e raised his hand passionately 0ith fanned8o.t fingers3
straining for a 0ord to describe the indescribable: )e left the sentence dangling
in the air3 its incompleteness e?tending into charged silence: !.ddenly he t.rned
to the @.estioner and declaimed3 2HMy belo6ed spa9e3 and said .nto me3 rise .p3
my lo6e3 my fair one3 and come a0ay3 for3 lo3 the 0inter is past3 the rain is o6er
and goneK the flo0ers appear on the earthK the time of the singing of birds is
come3 and the 6oice of the t.rtle do6e is heard in o.r landK arise my lo6e3 my fair
one3 and come a0ay:*5
The 0ay he intoned the 6erses 0as enchanting3 and the passion embedded in
them became ali6e for an instant: 2%o yo. see the bea.ty of these 0ords45 he
as9ed after a 6ibrant pa.se: 2They are o6er three8tho.sand years old: The !ong of
!ongs or !olomon*s !ongCit*s really @.ite remar9able3 isn*t it45 "n older
tr.stee conc.rred3 2"nd thin9 of the poetry of the +salms3 or the -oo9 of <obC
they are literary masterpieces:5
" yo.ng lady 0ho had recently ta9en on the 1ob of secretary at the
,o.ndation office 0as sitting across from Krishnam.rti: !he 0as probably the
only one at the table 0ho 0asn*t especially interested in the teachings3 since her
prime reason for being here 0as to be 0ith her boyfriend3 0ho 0or9ed at the
school: )ence her image of Krishnam.rti3 in star9 contrast to the rest of .s3 0as
probably minimalK she sa0 him as a charming old gentleman3 Hc.te*3 as she once
told me: !he had been @.ietly follo0ing the con6ersation and no0 t.rned to
Krishnam.rti3 2#hat abo.t 0hod.nits3 sir4 %o yo. e6er read any of those45
)e didn*t respond immediately to her @.estion b.t loo9ed at her 0ith a
p.GGled e?pression: !he @.ic9ly rephrased it3 27o. 9no0Cmysteries3 detecti6e
stories45
" delighted spar9le entered his eyes: 27es3 thrillers35 he replied: 2I en1oy
reading them: #hat abo.t them45
2!o do IL I adore mysteries: !o 0ho is yo.r fa6orite a.thor3 Krishna1i45
2I*6e read plenty of "gatha Christie: "nd I en1oy the stories by 'e? !to.t:
#hat is his name3 the fat detecti6e45
2Nero #olfe:5
2"nd his assistant3 a sort of b.ngling:::5
2"rchie35 she said: 2#hat abo.t 'aymond Chandler3 did yo. e6er read any of
his stories45
2#ho is he45
2)e in6ented +hilip Marlo03 the to.gh pri6ate eye3 0ho li6es in $os "ngeles
in the EI*s and =I*s:5
2"h3 yes3 I thin9 I*6e read all of those:5
2"nd are yo. familiar 0ith <ohn %: Mac%onald4 )e is one of my fa6orites:5
2<ohn %:C45
2The hero is Tra6is Mc&ee3 and the title of each boo9 has a different color in
it: "nd it .s.ally ta9es place in ,lorida:::5
2"nd he li6es on a boat and dri6es a bl.e 'olls8'oyceCis that him45
2'ight: "nd there*s al0ays a lot of philosophiGing in it: -.t then there is also
a lot of romantic st.ff3 0hen the hero gets in6ol6ed 0ith a lady: I mean it*s a bit
se?y3 don*t yo. thin945
This she as9ed 0ith a @.ic9 side0ays glance at the other people aro.nd the
table:
Krishnam.rti responded 0itho.t any sign of embarrassment3 2"h3 I al0ays
s9ip those parts: I find them rather boring3 so I 1.st pass o6er them 6ery @.ic9ly:5
!he 0as la.ghing e?.berantly at his facial e?pression3 0hich resembled that
of a child displeased at ha6ing to 0itness the lo6e life of the gro0n8.ps: The
others at the table 0ere also la.ghing no0: Krishnam.rti became a0are of his
dismissi6e reaction and 1oined in the common merriment:
2-.t 0hat do yo. do3 Krishna1i35 she contin.ed3 20hen yo. 0atch a mo6ie or
a T/8sho03 and they 9iss and embrace45
2I simply close my eyes35 he declared3 co6ering his eyes 0ith his hands3 then
opening the fingers and pee9ing thro.gh: 2"nd 0hen it*s all o6er3 I loo9 again:5
$a.ghter spread li9e 0ildfire ro.nd the table:
#hen3 after l.nch3 I 0ent to clean the ser6ing table3 I fo.nd Krishnam.rti
standing in front of the boo9case 0hich occ.pied half the 0all of the corner
ser6ery: It 0as pac9ed 0ith paperbac9s3 mostly thrillers and spy stories: I stopped
0hat I 0as doing and 0ent .p to him3 to see 0hich mystery he 0o.ld choose:
2Tell me 0hich one is a really good thriller35 he said: 27o. 9no0A good plot
and 0ell80ritten3 not all that sentimental st.ff:5
I hesitated for a moment: 2#ell3 Krishna1i3 yo.*6e probably read most of the
boo9s here: I recently read some spy thrillers by ric "mbler3 0hich 0ere @.ite
fascinating:5 I remo6ed a paperbac9 from a shelf and sho0ed it to him: 2)ere is
one of them:5
2The !ask o$ Fimitrios35 he read o.t lo.d and briefly s9immed o6er the front
and bac9 co6er: 2I thin9 I*6e read that35 he remar9ed and placed it bac9 on the
shelf:
2Or 0hat abo.t 'oss Macdonald35 I s.ggested3 pointing at a ro0 of
boo9spines bearing his name: 2)e*s really a good 0riter and li6es o6er in !anta
-arbara 0here most of his stories ta9e place:5
2"ll right3 sir3 gi6e me the t0o best ones:5
I pic9ed t0o titles 0hich I tho.ght 0ere capti6ating: )e st.died the synopses
on the bac9 co6ers for a moment and then remar9ed pensi6ely3 2I may ha6e read
these before3 b.t I can*t remember: It doesn*t matter3 it*s 1.st a pastime: Nothing
is retained:5
)e ga6e me a @.ic93 friendly pat on the sho.lder3 clamped the paperbac9s
.nder his arm and t.rned to lea6e: 2&ood8bye3 sir35 he said: 2Than9 yo.:5
2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1i35 I ans0ered:
J
" fe0 days later3 an Indian actor and actress came to see Krishnam.rti and 0ere
in6ited to ta9e l.nch 0ith .s: !he 0as fairly tall3 0ith st.nning3 classical Indian
feat.res and l.stro.s dar9 hair falling belo0 her sho.lders: %ressed in an
e?@.isite sari3 0ith gold threads r.nning thro.gh the aG.re sil93 she mo6ed 0ith
elegant poise: " crimson bindi dot bet0een her eyes embellished their e?otic
bea.ty: )er companion 0as athletically b.ilt and handsome in a r.gged3
masc.line 0ay:
%.ring l.nch the lady3 a bea.ty @.een t.rned mo6ie star3 said that both of
them 0ere on their 0ay to )olly0oodCshe to ma9e her (:!: deb.t in a ma1or
science fiction film3 he to play the hero in an ad6ent.re film for tele6ision: !he
0ent on to tell .s that her role re@.ired her to sha6e off her l.?.riant hair: !eeing
it cascading do0n to her sho.lders3 it 0as hard for me to imagine that she 0o.ld
act.ally go thro.gh 0ith it and for a moment I tho.ght she 0as 1.st telling a tall
story:
"s the con6ersation idly flo0ed aro.nd films3 acting3 and actors3
Krishnam.rti remar9ed @.ite generally3 2"ctors are terribly 6ain:5 "t this3 the
actress stopped che0ing her food and her dar9 eyes flashed3 perhaps beca.se she
too9 his remar9 as being directed against her: Composing herself3 she retorted
0itho.t anger b.t 0ith a some0hat cool intonation3 2-.t3 Krishna1i3 aren*t yo.
also a little 6ain4 "fter all3 yo. comb yo.r hair to conceal the bald spot on yo.r
forehead:5
)er matter8of8fact3 calm deli6ery softened the forthright statement and
res.lted in a min.sc.le silence aro.nd the table: I3 for one3 0as ta9en by s.rprise3
both by her ac.te obser6ation and by the fact that .ntil then I simply hadn*t
noticed that he did ha6e a large bald spot 0hich 0as co6ered by an ad6ent.ro.s
s0eep of hair:
Krishnam.rti didn*t react at all: ,or a breathless second he @.ietly loo9ed at
her3 not batting an eyelid3 nor .ttering a 0ord: #ith a tiny smile aro.nd his lips3
he bro.ght the for9 to his mo.th to ta9e food: The con6ersation contin.ed
amiably: "fter l.nch3 Krishnam.rti too9 the co.ple on a 0al9 thro.gh the Oa9
&ro6e3 l.sh8green after recent rains:
Months later3 to0ard the end of the year3 I 0ent to see the film in 0hich the
lady starred3 Dtar Trek (ne: "t first I had some diffic.lty recogniGing her 0ith a
sha6ed head: %espite baldness3 or perhaps beca.se of it3 she came across as
st.nningly bea.tif.l:
J
The rains had been plentif.l d.ring the past fe0 0ee9s3 and 0e 0aited 0ith bated
breath to see if they 0o.ld stop in time for the Tal9s at the Oa9 &ro6e3 or
0hether 0e 0o.ld ha6e to r.n all o6er to0n again3 as 0e had the pre6io.s year:
In the end3 it t.rned o.t that the gro.nd 0as 1.st dry eno.gh for .s to go ahead as
planned: 6erything 0as green and blossoming3 and appeared to be ready for an
e6ent3 that for me e6o9ed a feeling of festi6ityCas if Christmas3 aster and Ne0
7ear 0ere happening on the same day:
Tho.sands of people from all o6er the 0orld had been gathering in the 6alley
to hear Krishnam.rti spea9: (ndo.btedly3 it 0as a c.lt.ral e6ent of the first
order3 e?ploring and laying the basis for a ne0 conscio.sness3 perhaps e6en
heralding a ne0 c.lt.re: %.ring the first fe0 tal9s3 he 0ent into 0hat he
considered the so.rce of a ne0 c.lt.reCgoodness: 2" good societyCthe ancient
Indians3 &ree9s and gyptians already dreamt of this35 he declared:
In many respects3 he seemed to embody the essence of this ne0 c.lt.re in his
o0n person3 beca.se c.lt.re 0as a li6ing thing to him3 not something recorded3
dead and fossiliGed: To see him arri6e for a tal93 climb onto the platform3 and
cond.ct a con6ersation 0ith se6eral tho.sand people 0as to see a h.man being of
great c.lt.re and refinement: There 0asn*t anything pompo.s or fri6olo.s abo.t
him: )e 0as rooted in intelligence3 in a0areness of the moment at hand3 and in
gen.ine compassion for all li6ing things: )e seemed to manifest 0hat the 0ord
Hc.lt.re* impliedA a profo.nd respect and care for the earth3 for its animals3 trees
and flo0ers3 and3 more than anything else3 respect and care for h.man beingsC
all h.man beings3 regardless of their stat.s3 social class or bac9gro.nd:
#hile percei6ing goodness as the 0ell8spring of a ne0 c.lt.re3 he insisted on
a fine b.t clear distinction bet0een the creati6e mind of c.lt.re and the original
creati6e force of nat.re and the .ni6erse: #riting an inspiring poem3 composing
a symphony3 or b.ilding a magnificent cathedralCnone of these3 he felt3 to.ched
the primordial gro.nd of creation: 6en the most refined and s.btle c.lt.ral
e?pressions still deri6ed from tho.ght and the self3 the ego 0ith its narro0ly
defined interest: 2Tr.e creati6eness does not need to e?press itself35 he said: "nd3
hinting at the holistic aspect of a ne0 c.lt.re rooted in the indi6id.al life3 2The
greatest art is the art of li6ing:5
J
It 0as the Monday after the first t0o 0ee9end tal9s at the Oa9 &ro6e3 and 0e
had almost t0enty g.ests for l.nch: !e6eral tr.stees from the other fo.ndations
and practically all the K," tr.stees 0ere present: The atmosphere 0as rather
more formal than .s.al3 and the con6ersation centered aro.nd iss.es of art and
c.lt.re: Krishnam.rti 0as saying to one of the nglish tr.stees3 27o.*6e seen
Chartres3 ha6en*t yo.4 #hat a mar6elo.s cathedralL Thin9 of the enormo.s
energy and cooperation it too9 to b.ild something li9e that: It m.st ha6e ta9en
them decades3 e6en cent.ries:5
2"nd all inspired by religio.s fer6or3 for the greater glory of &od:5
2"nd completely anonymo.s3 yo. .nderstand4 No one 9no0s 0ho the
architect 0as: "t that time3 they didn*t sign their 0or9 as they do today: ).man
beings can do the most e?traordinary things 0hen they set their minds to it:
&oing to the moon in6ol6ed the 0or9ing together of a h.ndred tho.sand people3
I belie6e3 b.t they did it:5
" 6isitor from India started tal9ing abo.t the architect.ral 0onders of his
co.ntry3 abo.t the temples3 ca6es and mos@.es that had been created by people
inspired by the religio.s spirit: )e mentioned the ca6e temples of llora and
"1antha3 the Ta1 Mahal3 Konara9 and +.ri: Krishnam.rti had been listening to his
acco.nt and no0 @.ietly inter1ected3 2"nd there is an island near -ombay 0here
some mon9s car6ed temples into the roc9: It m.st ha6e been o6er a tho.sand
years ago: One of the roc9 sc.lpt.res is of the god !hi6a sho0ing his three faces:
It*s an enormo.s sc.lpt.re:5
'ecogniGing the description of a sight that I had 6isited some years ago3 I
remar9ed3 2lephanta Island and the Mahesh8m.rti:5
2This Tri8m.rti3 as it*s called35 he contin.ed3 2is really an e?traordinary
image3 f.ll of depth and dignity: Imagine 0hat the state of mind m.st ha6e been
of those creating that mon.mentL5 There 0as a sense of a0e in his 6oice3 as he
contemplated the conscio.sness that had created the sc.lpt.re of the three8faced
deity: "n inter6al of silence spread aro.nd the table3 as if the religio.s mind 0ere
manifesting among .s: "t last I 6ent.red3 2They m.st ha6e been enormo.sly
inspired and de6oted:5
2No3 sir35 he replied: 2They m.st ha6e .nderstood something3 yo. 9no03 had
an insight into the::: religio.s mind:5
)e made an emphatic gest.re3 0ith intensely spread fingers: 6eryone
seemed to grasp 0hat he 0as referring toA the religio.s mind3 0hich he held to be
the 9ey to the .nderstanding of h.man e?istence and the sine Gua non for
harmonio.s li6ing and the beginning of a ne0 c.lt.re:
J
"fter the concl.sion of the tal9s at the end of "pril3 he met 0ith the staff at +ine
Cottage for a n.mber of disc.ssions: "s often3 he emphasiGed the importance of
listening3 2$isten 0ith yo.r 0hole being3 0ith all yo.r mind and heart3 and all
yo.r senses: $isten to the so.nd of a tree3 not of the 0ind or the lea6es3 b.t the
so.nd of the tr.n93 the silent so.nd of the roots:5 $ater3 d.ring l.nch3 0e 0ere
tal9ing abo.t m.sic and some of the famo.s present8day performers of classical
m.sic3 0hen Krishnam.rti mentioned that somebody had sent him a cassette
recording of classical !o.th Indian instr.mental m.sic: It 0as @.ite e?ceptional3
and he in6ited .s to come and listen to it after l.nch:
"bo.t ten of .s trooped o6er to +ine Cottage and entered the small sitting
room ad1oining his bedroom: It 0as f.rnished 0ith simple elegance: #e seldom
had occasion to enter his pri6ate @.arters3 so it felt li9e a pri6ilege to be 0ith him
here: #e 0ere seated on some chairs arranged along the 0all3 and3 altho.gh it
0as a relati6ely small space for ten people3 it didn*t feel cro0ded: I fo.nd myself
gro0ing silent 0ithin myself as I contemplated the intense listening that had
happened 0ithin these confines for long periods of time:
-y 0ay of introd.ction3 Krishnam.rti said to .s3 2No0 yo. can hear some
e?cellent m.sicCnot the 9ind that yo. hear from the famo.s Indian m.sicians
0ho ma9e it to the #est: They only get spoilt and corr.pted by the p.blicity and
money: !o the m.sic becomes second8hand3 as they do it only for commercial
reasons3 for the money: -.t this is the real m.sic3 0ith tremendo.s integrity3 not
1.st for profit: It*s sacred m.sic:5 Krishnam.rti*s standards of artistic p.rity 0ere
.ncompromising and a.stere3 demanding not only technical e?cellence b.t also a
dedicated selflessness: #itho.t any moti6e3 from sheer 5oie de vivre3 one
performed m.sic for its o0n sa9e:
+resently3 he t.rned on the player: 'e6erberating so.nds of strings and
perc.ssion and the mello0 strains of a bamboo fl.te e6o9ed a different climate
and landscape3 and a different m.sical tradition: I follo0ed my nat.ral tendency
and closed my eyes to harmoniGe 0ith the dra0n8o.t drone of the instr.ments: It
seemed li9e an imageless re6elation of p.re so.nd3 recreating a .ni6erse of so.nd
0ithin3 telling a story of endless cycles of cosmic creation and destr.ction:
#hen the m.sic 0as o6er and I opened my eyes3 I tho.ght for a moment I
0as loo9ing at a ne0 0orld: The people aro.nd me seemed to ha6e ne0 faces3 as
if an inner light 0ere ill.minating their feat.res: " bond of silence and listening
held .s together for an instant3 and one felt shy and strangely 6.lnerable: Then3
0itho.t any comment or disc.ssion3 0e than9ed Krishnam.rti for the listening
treat and filed o.t of his sitting room to o.r respecti6e places:
J
!e6eral days later3 Oit 0as the second 0ee9 of MayP3 I 0as in the 9itchen p.tting
the finishing to.ches to this season*s last l.nch 0ith Krishnam.rti: I had t.rned
on the des9 top radio and 0as 0or9ing to the so.nds of -eetho6en*s Choral
!ymphony3 0hich 0ere per6ading the s.nny 9itchen space: I lost trac9 of time3
beca.se to0ard the end of the third mo6ement3 Krishnam.rti entered the 9itchen:
I 0al9ed o6er to the co.nter to t.rn off the radio3 b.t he @.ic9ly stopped me
saying3 2Oh no3 sir3 don*t t.rn it off: It*s -eetho6en*s 8inth !ymphony:5
27o. really 9no0 it @.ite 0ell3 Krishna1i:5
27es3 of co.rse: I li6ed all by myself in a log cabin .p in the )igh !ierras and
had only one record3 0hich I played e6ery day: It 0as -eetho6en*s 8inth and it
0as one of those old8fashioned t.rntables3 0hich one had to 0ind .p3 and the
lo.dspea9er enormo.s:5 )e gest.red to describe the old lo.dspea9er that opened
li9e a horn of plenty:
2There 0as only one record thereC-eetho6en*s 8inthCand I played it e6ery
day3 for 0ee9s on end3 listening to e6ery s.btle n.ance3 e6ery note and melody:
"fter a 0ee9 or t0o it seemed that I co.ld disting.ish the 6ario.s instr.ments:
6ent.ally I learned the entire composition by heart: I played it e6ery morning at
ele6en o*cloc9:5
2#hy al0ays at ele6en o*cloc93 sir45
2It 0as after brea9fast3 and I had cleaned the dishes: It 0as a moment of
leis.re3 the morning s.n shining into the room: It created a sense of order in the
co.rse of the day in the 0ilderness:5
"n image flashed across my mindA some0here in the mo.ntain 0orld3 in a
small cabin amidst the to0ering se@.oias3 those tho.sand8year8old 0itnesses of
silence3 the yo.ng Krishnam.rti placed a needle on the blac9 record and3 sitting
on a 0ooden bench3 listened 0ith closed eyes to the m.sical strains of the deaf
master:
"s the choral 6oices on the radio started to intone the song of .ni6ersal
brotherhood3 2)reude* schHner AHtter$unken... alle !enschen werden CrIder...53
I @.ietly gaGed at Krishnam.rti3 as he stood ne?t to me listening to the m.sic: I
felt a s.dden3 .ne?pected sense of great freedom: ,or a moment there 0as no
h.rry3 no time or press.re3 no ne?t moment and no tho.ght3 only listening: Then3
thro.gh the m.sical chords3 I heard his 6oice as9ing3 2#hat*s for l.nch3
Michael45
,or an instant and 0itho.t any reason3 I felt li9e b.rsting into 1oyo.s la.ghter:
'estraining myself3 I smiled at him and replied3 2Today3 Krishna1i3 0e*re ha6ing
Me?ican foodA g.acamole and 1icama salad3 enchiladas3 corn8on8the8cob and
blac9 beans3 and mango and papaya fr.it salad accompanied by coo9ies3 bisc.its3
that is:5
2"h3 that*s good: Can I help 0ith anything45
27es3 sir35 I ans0ered enth.siastically:
It 0as a leis.rely l.nch 0ith si?teen of .s: !ince Krishnam.rti and Mary >:
0ere lea6ing for ngland the follo0ing day3 a great deal of the con6ersation
centered aro.nd their depart.re and arri6al time3 the airline they 0ere flying 0ith3
and other tra6el iss.es: Many of .s 0o.ldn*t see him for nine months: -.t none
of .s3 it seemed3 0ere sad or sentimental3 not only beca.se he abhorred emotional
beha6ior b.t simply beca.se he 0as still 0ith .s at the moment and his presence
0as @.ietly o6er0helming and complete:
"ll at once he said3 2I m.st tell yo. a story I heard the other day: It*s in
ancient India: There is a yogi 0ho is famo.s for his accomplishments and
a.sterity: )e o0ns only t0o loinclothsCone to 0ash and one to 0ear: )e 6isits
the capital of the 9ingdom and his fame reaches the ear of the 9ing3 0ho politely
in6ites the yogi to his palace: )e greets him 0ith d.e re6erence3 sho0s him
aro.nd the palace3 and ta9es him to the treas.re 6a.lt3 0here he has enormo.s
amo.nts of 1e0els and gold: )e says to the yogi3 H#hate6er yo. 0o.ld li9e of
my treas.re is yo.rs: <.st tell me 0hat yo. desire3 and yo. can ha6e it:* -.t the
yogi pro.dly declines: H#orldly possessions don*t mean a thing to me: "ll I
possess in the 0orld are these t0o loincloths:* The 9ing is impressed and says to
him3 H+lease stay 0ith me for a day or t0o and teach me the secret of yo.r great
detachment and 0isdom:* "nd the yogi accepts the in6itation: " ser6ant sho0s
him to a bare room3 0here he can spend the night: In the middle of the night3
there is an a0f.l lot of noise3 people sho.ting and r.nning: !omebody thro0s
open the door of his room and sho.ts3 H'.n for yo.r lifeL The palace is on fire:*
The yogi dashes o.t of the room: There are flames and smo9e in the hall0ays3
and people r.nning: "s he is r.shing o.t into the night3 he sees the 9ing in his
robe ne?t to him: "nd as they loo9 bac9 at the palace going do0n in flames3 the
9ing says to the yogi3 H#ell3 there go all my 1e0els and treas.res: -.t I don*t
careA yo. ha6e ta.ght me that possessions don*t matter3 and that all one needs is a
simple garment:* )earing the 0ords3 the yogi s.ddenly t.rns and starts r.nning
to0ard the b.rning palace: The 9ing doesn*t 9no0 0hat the hec9 he*s doing3
meeting certain death: !o he r.ns after him and catches .p 0ith him3 H#hat are
yo. doing4 )a6e yo. gone mad4 7o. are meeting certain death in the flames:
#hy4* "nd the yogi t.rns to0ard him 0ith fear and 0orry in his face and says3
HMy loincloth3 my other loincloth3 I left it in the palace3 I m.st sa6e it3 it*s all I
ha6e:* "nd the 9ing s.ddenly la.ghs3 H7o. are 0illing to gi6e .p yo.r life for
yo.r p.ny loincloth4 "nd yo. are teaching me abo.t detachment and being free
of possessionsL*5
2!o 0hat*s the moral of the story45 a lady as9ed: 2%on*t try to sa6e yo.r
possessions 0hen the ho.se is b.rning45
2No3 it*s abo.t attachment35 someone else remar9ed: 2It doesn*t matter
0hether one is attached to something enormo.s or something really small3 it*s
still attachment:5
2-.t isn*t it abo.t desire45 an older lady s.ggested: 26en to 0ant to be free
of desire is still desire:5
2%on*t be attached:5 Krishnam.rti said3 2%on*t be attached to anyone or
anything:5
"s 0e all rose from the table3 e6erybody carrying their dirty dishes to the
sin93 I tho.ght it 0as an appropriate good8bye story:
(npretentio.sly3 as he did all things3 Krishnam.rti helped 0ith the clearing of
the table3 carrying pitchers3 dishes and bo0ls into the 9itchen: !eeing him
helping 0ith 9itchen chores3 g.ests and tr.stees ali9e promptly follo0ed s.it:
6en those 0ho normally 0o.ldn*t dream of lending a hand on this occasion
ad1.sted their attit.de and as9ed me 0hat they co.ld do to help: !o I happily
obliged by handing o.t r.bber glo6es3 dishto0els3 aprons and brooms3 and gi6ing
brief instr.ctions as to 0hat needed to be done:
#hile e6eryone b.sied themsel6es 0ith the clean8.p 1ob3 Krishnam.rti stood
@.ietly bet0een refrigerator and chopping table and obser6ed the acti6ity aro.nd
him 0ith patient am.sement: I 0as p.tting the lefto6er food in plastic storage
containers3 and he as9ed me3 2#hat are yo. going to do 0ith that3 sir45
2#e*ll be eating it this e6ening3 Krishna1i: It*ll still be good: #e .s.ally
ma9e .se of lefto6ers: I don*t li9e to 0aste food or thro0 it a0ay:5
2&ood:5
)e 0as getting some0hat impatient no0 and called o.t to Mary >: 0ho3 0ith
r.bber glo6es and apron3 0as b.sy at the sin9: 2Maria35 he called 0ith Italian
Gest3 20e ha6e to go: 7o. still ha6e to pac9 yo.r things:5
2I*m coming3 sir35 she responded and t.rned to loo9 at him: 2I*m 1.st
finishing these last fe0 dishes:5
)e noticed I 0as placing the lefto6er coo9ies in a metal bo?: Coming .p to
me3 he re@.ested in a lo0 6oice3 2%o yo. mind gi6ing .s a fe0 of those bisc.its
for the trip45
2Of co.rse not3 Krishna1i3 I*ll do it no035 I ans0ered and rolled a stac9 of
abo.t eight of them3 first in some transparent film and then in al.min.m foil:
2This 0ill 9eep them fresh: %o yo. thin9 that*s eno.gh45
2More than eno.gh3 sir3 than9 yo.35 he replied: #ith that3 he called o.t once
more3 2Maria:5
27es3 sir3 I*m coming35 she replied:
Cha%ter 1-
" N I M M O ' T " $
, ' I N %
Starters
Salad of mi*ed greens with vinaigrette or
yogurt & garlic dressing.
ree% salad, prepared with tomatoes, cucumbers,
bell peppers, olives, and feta cheese.
,roccoli and olive salad.
Main Dishes
9ome#made spinach lasagna, many#layered in
tomato and bechamel sauce,
with mozzarella and $armesan cheeses.
Steamed asparagus, in a lemon & olive
oil dressing with a dash of herb salt.
Dessert
:range sunshine ca%e,
made with whole oranges and raisins,
served with whipped cream.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
<.st as 0e 0elcomed him on his arri6al in O1ai3 so 0e bade him fare0ell as he set
o.t for .rope: " gro.p of eight or ten of .s had gathered that May afternoon
beneath the pepper tree: #e had loaded the l.ggage into the school 6an: The
director 0as to dri6e Krishnam.rti and Mary >: to $os "ngeles "irport3 from
0here they 0o.ld fly non8stop to $ondon: "ll that 0as left no0 0as a @.ic93
.nsentimental good8bye3 and 0e 0o.ld ret.rn to o.r reg.lar 0or9:
Krishnam.rti3 dapper in a sports coat and cra6at3 0ith soft leather glo6es3
stepped o.t of the ho.se3 accompanied by Mary >: 0ho 0as also elegantly attired
for the 1o.rney: There 0as a ro.nd of hand8sha9ing3 and Krishnam.rti3 0ho
al0ays felt and beha6ed li9e a g.est3 than9ed each and e6eryone of .s for ha6ing
him here: #e in t.rn than9ed him for being 0ith .s: #ith that3 they got into the
6an and dro6e off:
#e loo9ed at one another and sighed: It seemed strange to me3 b.t all at once
I felt alone: There 0as the sharp pang of separation3 a s.dden sense of absence3 a
6oid3 li9e death: -.t it had a clean c.t to itK it 0asn*t emotionally loaded3 and it
didn*t lea6e a bitter taste in one*s mo.th:
J
!.mmer and fall rolled by3 and I stayed b.sy 0ith my normal school acti6ities3
0hich incl.ded coo9ing for the staff and st.dents at the Oa9 &ro6e !chool3
teaching some classes and going on field trips: -esides3 I helped 0ith the 0ee98
long or 0ee9end "d.lt Center seminars at "rya /ihara3 0hich 0ere cond.cted
e6ery month by the &erman physics professor and his 0ife: -y the time
Christmas and Ne0 7ear 19;I had come3 my tho.ghts3 0hich had ne6er entirely
left Krishnam.rti3 started to re6ol6e aro.nd his ret.rn to O1ai in early ,ebr.ary:
)is arri6al 0as li9e a fresh breeGe bringing the scent of the ne0 season: "
0ee9 earlier I had started to set .p the "rya /ihara 9itchen for the .pcoming
l.ncheons there: %.ring my absence3 the so.s8chef too9 o6er my coo9ing d.ties
at the Oa9 &ro6e !chool: It 0as a 0elcome change3 and I 0as than9f.l for the
opport.nity to be coo9ing for Krishnam.rti and his g.ests for three entire
months:
"t the first l.nch3 after the .s.al @.estions concerning the details of his
1o.rney had been e?ha.sted3 he s.ddenly t.rned to the director3 0ho 0as sitting
across from him3 and as9ed3 2%o the children3 the st.dents tr.st yo.4 %o they
tr.st the teachers45
2#ell3 .p to a point they do: The older they are3 the less they tr.st the ad.lts:5
2That*s not good eno.gh35 Krishnam.rti declared: 2There m.st be tr.stA real
tr.st3 not 1.st limited tr.st: They m.st feel completely safe3 completely at home
0ith yo.:5
"s the con6ersation contin.ed3 I realiGed that the 9eynote theme had been
so.nded: This time it 0as Htr.st*: There 0as a certain pattern to the 0ay the
theme 0as first presented3 altho.gh each year it changed and the form of the
6ariations on the theme also changed: One year it had been Hresponsibility*3 the
ne?t year Hpsychological press.re*3 follo0ed by Hinterest and self8interest*3 and
the year after that Hrespect*: Krishnam.rti .s.ally raised the theme first at the
l.nch table3 then de6eloped it d.ring disc.ssions and dialog.es 0ith tr.stees3
staff and parents: If there 0ere any seminars or conferences 0ith scientists and
artists3 he 0o.ld often .se this theme to approach the iss.es that 0ere the foc.s
of his in6estigation into conscio.sness3 life3 death and meditation: In6ariably it
0as a li6ing process of in@.iry3 an organic mo6ement that .nfolded li9e a flo0er:
"nd3 finally3 the theme 0o.ld be 0o6en into the p.blic tal9s at the Oa9 &ro6e:
2#hat is tr.st to yo.45 he 0as as9ing one of the tr.stees: 2%o yo. tr.st
anybody4 %o yo. tr.st yo.r 0ife4 %o yo. tr.st partially3 here b.t not there4
#hat is tr.st to yo.3 sir45
The other man hesitated: 2If I tr.st yo.35 he said3 2then I can rely on yo.3 then
I ha6e confidence in yo.:5
-.t ans0ers li9e that seldom satisfied Krishnam.rti: )e .s.ally imparted a
6ery specific meaning to 0hiche6er 9ey 0ord he 0as .sing at the moment3 gi6ing
it a depth and transparency that opened the door to a ne0 perception of life:
2I don*t mean reliance: Then I depend on yo.35 he e?plained: 2"nd I don*t
mean faith3 either: That*s 0hat the Ch.rch has been saying for h.ndreds of years3
H)a6e faith3 belie6e in <es.s:* That reminds me of a 1o9e someone told me
recently: #o.ld yo. li9e to hear it4 " Catholic is standing on a mo.ntain and
loo9s do0n into the bea.ty of the 6alley: !.ddenly he slips and falls do0n the
cliff and is barely able to hold on to the branch of a tree that is gro0ing there:
-elo0 him is an abyss of a tho.sand feet: )e doesn*t 9no0 0hat to do3 so he
prays3 H+lease3 $ord3 help me: !a6e me from death:* "nd a 6oice comes o.t of
the s9y and says3 H)a6e faith3 let goL* "nd the man loo9s .p and calls o.t3 HIs
there anybody else .p there4*5
#hile 0e 0ere all la.ghing3 Krishnam.rti loo9ed at .s 0ith bright eyes3
e6ent.ally as9ing3 2#hat is tr.st4 %o yo. ha6e tr.st4 Not tr.st in something3
some idea or ideal3 1.st tr.st:5
"t the end of the meal3 0e got .p 0ith the @.estion still .nans0ered: ,or me3
it lingered on 0hile I 0as s0eeping the 9itchen floor3 and later thro.gho.t the
day it rec.rred: "s I 9ept pondering it3 I tho.ght I 0as catching a glimpse of 0hat
he 0as hinting atA tr.st as a state of mind3 in 0hich there 0as no fear3 no 0orry3
no s.spicion and conflictK a mind 0itho.t press.re3 0itho.t a personal agenda:
J
" fe0 days later 0e canceled l.nch beca.se Krishnam.rti 0anted to ta9e a day
of rest3 as he sometimes did to preser6e his energies Ohe 0as eighty8fi6eP: I
prepared a fe0 simple dishes3 0hich I carried on a tray to +ine Cottage: "fter
placing the tray on the table3 I as9ed him 0hen I sho.ld ret.rn to pic9 .p the
dishes:
2Come in an ho.r3 sir35 he said: 2%on*t ring the bell3 1.st come in: I*ll lea6e
the door .nloc9ed:5
#hen I ret.rned an ho.r later3 I 0as shoc9ed by the scene I enco.ntered in
the dining room: Krishnam.rti 0as not sitting .pright at the table3 nor che0ing
each mo.thf.l thirty8t0o times3 nor meditati6ely ingesting the har6est of the
earth: )e 0as bending o6er his plate in a 6ery rela?ed manner3 holding his for9 in
one hand and a boo9 in the other: )e seemed to be deeply absorbed in reading
the paperbac9: It 0as as if an image of mine 0as being shatteredA he didn*t do
e6erything 0ith f.ll3 1IIS attention: (nable to contain my s.rprise I said3 27o.
read 0hile yo.*re eating3 Krishna1i45
2,ood is s.ch a bore sometimes35 he replied3 then @.ic9ly added3 2It*s good3
tasty food3 sir: Only 0hen yo. sit by yo.rself che0ing it3 it gets to be a bit of a
bore:5
)is simple e?planation pacified me and bro.ght a 1oyf.l grin to my face:
Collecting the dishes on the tray3 I as9ed3 2#hat are yo. reading3 sir45
2It*s a thriller3 by 'e? !to.t35 he ans0ered and sho0ed me the title page:
"s I 0as lea6ing +ine Cottage3 he smiled and said3 2Than9 yo.3 Michael: !ee
yo. tomorro0:5
J
The name HKrishnam.rti* means Hli9eness of Krishna*3 and refers to the di6ine
hero of )ind. mythology3 Krishna: #hile in Madras3 I fo.nd it 0as a common
name in !o.th IndiaA the telephone directory listed se6eral pages of it in 6ario.s
spellings: In the #estern 0orld3 to his and o.r am.sement3 his name 0as often
misprono.nced and misspelt: !ome of the 1.n9 and fan mail he recei6ed 0as
addressed to Krishna M.rphy3 Christian M.rphy3 Kristy Moorty3 and Christoph
M.rphy3 to name a fe0:
)e had his o0n pec.liar 0ays of referring to himself: %.ring p.blic tal9s he
0o.ld often employ the term Hthe spea9er* and Hone*3 H0e* and Hyo.* in an
attempt to a6oid HI*: Often he li9ed to po9e f.n at himself3 0ith phrases li9e Hthe
man on the platform*3 Hthe poor chap*3 Hthe old boy*3 and similar e?pressions: -.t
by far the most fre@.ent 0ay in 0hich he referred to himself3 both in p.blic and
pri6ate3 0as simply HK*: +erhaps it 0as the anonymity of an alphabetic symbol
that appealed to him:
J
"t one l.ncheon in early March 0e 0ere a relati6ely small3 familiar gro.p 0ith a
special g.est3 an older Indian lady3 0ho had been a friend and associate of
Krishnam.rti for many years: !he 0as sitting across from him3 in a dar98red sari
0ith a red bindi dot on her forehead: )e 0as gi6ing her his f.ll attention3 leaning
for0ard o6er the table as they con6ersed: It seemed almost li9e a pri6ate
con6ersation3 altho.gh it occ.rred in the presence of t0el6e other persons: They
0ere tal9ing abo.t people and e6ents from long ago3 as far bac9 as the
Theosophical days: Krishnam.rti*s recollection of these times seemed rather
haGy: )e 9ept as9ing the lady abo.t the details of specific sit.ations3 and she 9ept
reminding him 0hat he had done and 0ho had been present at that time: It
so.nded intrig.ing b.t also rather mystifying: "t one point3 he leaned bac9 in his
chair and 0ondered alo.d3 2#hy 0asn*t that boy infl.enced and corr.pted by all
the ad.lation3 the money and the po0er45 -y Hboy* he 0as referring to himself as
an adolescent d.ring the early Theosophical days:
I had heard him as9 a similar thing on a pre6io.s occasion: It didn*t seem li9e
a rhetorical @.estion: There 0ere enigmatic aspects of his life and person that
appeared to be a mystery to him as m.ch as to the rest of .s:
2#as it the 6acant mind45 he pondered 2The boy 0as 6acant3 dreamy3 almost
moronic: Nothing st.c9K e6erything 1.st passed thro.gh that mind: It 0as li9e a
sie6e3 not retaining anything:5 )e @.estioningly loo9ed3 first at the lady3 then at
the rest of .s3 as if one of .s might be able to pro6ide an ans0er to the .n.s.al
e6ents that had made .p his life:
2#hen he tra6eled by train35 he reminisced3 half s.rprised and half am.sed3
2they 0o.ld reser6e one compartment 1.st for him: The t0o ad1oining ones3
behind and in front3 0ere for his companions:5
2-.t 0hy45 I as9ed:
2To protect him35 he la.ghed: 2To see that nobody bothered him3 and to 9eep
him p.re and .ncontaminated: Nobody 0as allo0ed to to.ch him or his personal
belongings: "nd there 0as al0ays somebody 0ith him:5
2"nd the brother recei6ed the same treatment45 I as9ed3 referring to his
brother3 Nityananda 0ho died at "rya /ihara in 19M=:
2Oh no35 he replied3 and3 stabbing one slender long finger against his chest3
added 0ith an ironical la.gh3 2this 0as the /ehicle: "ll the others had to loo9
after him: They .sed to prostrate themsel6es before him3 practically 0orshipping
him: -.t none of the ad.lation and f.ss e6er to.ched the boy: None of that meant
a thing to him3 yo. .nderstand3 sirs4 #hy 0as that4 #hy 0asn*t he corr.pted by
it all4 #as it his 6acant mind45 )e fell silent3 m.sing on the mystery of long ago:
J
The follo0ing day 0e l.nched on &ree9 salad3 broccoli and oli6e salad3 spinach
lasagna prepared 0ith a bechamel and a tomato sa.ce3 asparag.s3 and orange
s.nshine ca9e for dessert: #e 0ere tal9ing abo.t the Oa9 &ro6e !chool and its
relationship 0ith the comm.nity3 and Krishnam.rti as9ed the director3 2#hat
does a simple 0or9er at the chec98o.t stand of the Meiner*s Oa9s mar9et thin9 of
the Oa9 &ro6e !chool4 %oes he3 or she3 ha6e any idea of 0hat 0e are doing4 Or
do they thin9 0e are some odd Oriental c.lt45
!ome of .s smiled at the @.estion3 0hich so.nded nai6e b.t had a 6ery
rele6ant angle: The director ans0ered3 2#ell3 Krishna1i3 I do.bt if any of the
lo0er middle8class 0or9ers ha6e heard of the school or of yo.:5
" teacher added3 2They ha6e probably seen the signpost as they*6e been
dri6ing by3 so at least they 9no0 that there is a school:5
2(nless they ha6e children of their o0n3 they 0o.ldn*t ha6e any interest in a
school35 someone else s.ggested:
Krishnam.rti 0asn*t satisfied 0ith the ans0ers: 2No3 sir: I 9no0 all that: If
not the ho.se0ife in the mar9et3 ta9e a fairly ed.cated person 0ho has some
a0areness of 0hat*s going on in the O1ai /alley and in the 0orld:5 )e started to
la.gh at his o0n train of tho.ght: 2"ll right3 sir3 ta9e a 6ery ed.cated3 fairly
intelligent person3 a doctor3 a la0yerCno3 not a la0yerCta9e the headmaster of
Thacher !choolA 0hat do they say abo.t the Oa9 &ro6e !chool45
The director responded3 2#ell3 sir3 yo. 9no0 that 0e 1.st p.t .p the large
0ooden sign at the entrance to the camp.s3 and:::5
2I 9no0 all that3 sir: +lease come to the point: #hat*s the problem4 Is it the
name4 The name HKrishnam.rti*45
)is incisi6eness and .nabashed honesty c.t right thro.gh the sense of .nease
that arose3 0hene6er the Hname* iss.e 0as bro.ght .p: " teacher spo9e fran9ly3
2Krishna1i3 the name HKrishnam.rti* e6o9es apprehension3 if not pre1.dice3 in the
a6erage "merican: It raises notions of something alien3 of strange g.r.s3 sects
and c.lts: The first association is 0ith the Krishna Conscio.sness mo6ement3
0hich is 0orld80ide: +eople 0ho 9no0 6ery little abo.t all this ma9e an almost
a.tomatic association bet0een these namesCKrishna3 Krishna Conscio.sness3
Krishnam.rti: It so.nds the same to them3 and in some 0ay it is the same: Of
co.rse3 it*s a 6ery s.perficial reaction3 b.t many more ha6e heard the name
Krishna Conscio.sness than ha6e e6er heard of yo.:5
2Then get rid of it35 Krishnam.rti declared 6ery emphatically and 0itho.t
hesitation: 2%rop the name3 sir: The name doesn*t matter at all: If it*s a
hindrance3 get rid of it:5
)is action 0as immediate and 0itho.t choice: 6eryone else at the table3
ho0e6er3 reacted 0ith 6ario.s degrees of shoc9 to his s.ggestion: One tr.stee
said3 2-.t Krishna1i3 ho0 can 0e get rid of the name4 #e are the Krishnam.rti
,o.ndation:5
"nother person stammered3 2#e can*t 1.st remo6e the nameCho0 can
one:::45
" teacher said3 2It doesn*t ma9e sense: #hat are 0e going to call o.rsel6es3
the Instit.te for d.cation45
!.dden agitation gripped the gro.p3 as e6erybody 6oiced their 6ie0s at once:
I 0as 0atching Krishnam.rti3 0hose 0ords had triggered the emotional stir: )e
0as leaning bac9 in his chair3 calmly folding his hands in his lap and obser6ing
0ith an aloof e?pression 0hat 0as going on aro.nd him: )e meant 0hat he said:
" nameC0hether it 0as his o0n or someone else*sC0as of little or no
importance to him3 partic.larly if it stood in the 0ay of something greater and
more 6ital:
The director said3 2Krishna1i3 yo. 9no0 that 0e 1.st p.t .p the ne0
signboard:5 )e 0as referring to a large 0ooden signboard3 that had recently been
erected at the entrance to the dri6e0ay leading .p to the school camp.s: It read3
HOa9 &ro6e !chool of the Krishnam.rti ,o.ndation of "merica*3 the second
portion more prominent than the first:
2It too9 a lot of time:::5
2Ta9e it do0n:5
27o. mean:::45
2'emo6e the sign and replace it 0ith one 0hich only mentions the name of
the school: That sho.ld ta9e care of it: ,inished: -asta:5
"s no03 he had a rare capacity to c.t thro.gh the meanderings of tho.ght3
thro.gh the long calc.lation of pros and cons3 and arri6e at a decision: -.t he
0as far from being infallible3 as he 0as the first to admit: specially in practical
or personal matters his decisions3 at times3 t.rned o.t to be 0rong: "nd 0e all8
too8often tended to follo0 o.r desire to please him and did not challenge him
s.fficiently:
#rapping .p the iss.e3 he remar9ed3 2Maybe I sho.ld change my name to
Christopher M.rphy:5
The tension 0hich had b.ilt .p aro.nd the table 0as relie6ed3 and one of the
tr.stees la.ghingly remar9ed3 2That 0o.ld sol6e a lot of problems3 Krishna1i:5
"s a conse@.ence of this con6ersation3 the signboard in front of the school
0as ta9en do0n and replaced 0ith a smaller one that simply stated3 HOa9 &ro6e
!chool*:
J
In March Krishnam.rti started to meet reg.larly 0ith staff and parents on
0ee9end afternoons at +ine Cottage: The l.ncheons on those days 0ere 0ell
attended: Many of the teachers en1oyed the opport.nity to as9 him @.estions
abo.t his life3 and he freely and 0itho.t reser6ation ans0ered their in@.iries:
One of the teachers3 0ho 0as sitting ne?t to him at l.nch on this partic.lar
day3 0as an?io.s to 9no0 abo.t the celebrities he had met in California:
"ltho.gh he recalled meeting !tra6ins9y3 Isher0ood3 Chaplin3 &reta &arbo and
<ohn -arrymore3 among others3 he didn*t ha6e many anecdotes abo.t them: It
0asn*t .ntil she mentioned "ldo.s ).?ley3 the nglish no6elist3 that he became
more elo@.ent and reco.nted the story of their long and fertile friendship:
2#e first met before the 0ar and 0o.ld often 6isit one another3 and 9eep .p a
correspondence: Once I 0ent to see him and his -elgian8born 0ife3 Maria3 in the
Mo1a6e %esert3 0here they had recently mo6ed: I had 1.st started to 0rite do0n
some of my obser6ations3 and I sho0ed "ldo.s 0hat I had 0ritten: I .sed to be
a0f.lly shy at that time: -.t he 0as enth.siastic abo.t it3 saying it 0as 6ery
original3 and .rged me to 9eep on 0riting: )e said he had ne6er seen this style of
0riting in 0orld literat.re beforeCa nat.ral description follo0ed by a
philosophical disco.rse and a dialog.e: )e ad6ised me to 0rite reg.larly3
perhaps a page or t0o a day3 and so I*6e 9ept at it:5 )e made a slightly
apologetic gest.re3 as he sometimes did 0hen tal9ing abo.t himself: 2#e .sed to
ta9e long 0al9s in the hills3 and he 0o.ld gi6e lengthy disco.rses on the flo0ers
and plants by the 0ayside and the animals 0e enco.ntered:5 " deep sense of
affection shone thro.gh his 0ords3 as he tal9ed abo.t his friend 0ho had died
se6enteen years earlier: 2"ldo.s had tremendo.s 9no0ledge abo.t e6erything:
)e 0as a li6ing encyclopedia: 7o. co.ld as9 him abo.t anything3 and he 0o.ld
be able to gi6e a learned lect.re on it3 0hether it 0as religion3 m.sic or the arts3 a
rare insect or a plant:5 )e pa.sed and gaGed at the yo.ng 0oman ne?t to him:
2-.t he realiGed that his immense 9no0ledge 0as a b.rden and pre6ented him
from e?periencing things afresh: "ll that stored8.p memory 9ept him from
coming into contact 0ith the ne0 and original: "nd he 0as 0ell a0are of it:
!ometimes he 0o.ld say to me3 HI 0o.ld gladly gi6e .p e6erything3 all my
learnedness and 9no0ledge3 to capt.re a glimpse of that3 for one direct
perception of tr.th:*5 "nd Krishnam.rti gest.red emphatically3 pointing at that
0hich 0as beyond 0ords: 2#e had a strange relationshipC6ery affectionate and
considerate: Often d.ring o.r long 0al9s together 0e 0o.ldn*t spea9 a 0ord3 or
0e 0o.ld silently sit together:5
2%idn*t he also ta9e psychedelic dr.gs at one time45 she as9ed:
2)e 0rote abo.t it in The Foors o$ 'erce%tion and .eaven and .ell35 I
inter1ected:
27es3 he e?perimented 0ith them35 Krishnam.rti replied: "ltho.gh I 9ne0
that he disappro6ed of dr.gs of any 9ind and dismissed the 6al.e of dr.g8ind.ced
e?periences3 I co.ldn*t discern any 1.dgmental tone in his 6oice: 2)e 0o.ld tell
me abo.t his sensationsA ho0 the colors of the flo0ers became e?traordinarily
6i6id and ali6e3 and ho0 the space bet0een him and the flo0er disappeared:5
)e pa.sed for a moment and smiled: $oo9ing at o.r eager faces3 he as9ed3
2%oes all of this interest yo. at all45
#hen se6eral of .s enth.siastically ans0ered3 27es3 yes35 he ga6e one of his
characteristic shr.gs3 indicating that it 0as entirely .p to .s: 2)e 0as blind in one
eye35 he contin.ed3 2and had impaired 6ision in the other: )e .sed to practice a
partic.lar method of eye e?ercises3 the -ates Method: )e e?plained it to me in
great detail3 and I*6e been practicing it e6er since:5
27o. do it e6ery day45 I as9ed:
)e nodded: 26ery day for abo.t half an ho.r:5
2#hat do these e?ercises consist of45 a teacher 0ho 0ore glasses as9ed 0ith
great interest:
Krishnam.rti promptly demonstrated some of the simple e?ercises3 li9e
massaging the eyelids in a circ.lar fashion3 rolling the eyeballs in different
directions3 and foc.sing on ob1ects at a distance3 0hile co6ering one eye 0ith
one*s palm: It 0as en1oyable to see the delight he too9 in min.tely describing the
6ario.s aspects of the -ates Method3 and I mar6eled at the care 0ith 0hich he
e?plained s.ch seemingly tri6ial matters: On a pre6io.s occasion he had gone
into great detail abo.t ho0 to spit8shine one*s shoes3 something 0hich he did
reg.larly: "nother time he described to .s ho0 he had learned to 0al9 properly
in the mo.ntains from an Italian captain of the Al%ini:
)a6ing e?ha.sted his acco.nt of the eye e?ercises3 he briefly ret.rned to
tal9ing abo.t his great friend from ngland: 2"ldo.s .sed to smo9e a lot: )e
finally got cancer of the tong.e: That*s 0hat he died of:5
'art Three
J
7 " ' ! O ,
C O M + $ T I O N
Cha%ter 10
" M T I N &
O , M I N % !
Starters
Tossed green salad with
vinaigrette or Ro+uefort dressing.
$asta salad, made with angel hair pasta,
finely chopped olives, pine nuts, and pesto sauce.
Sliced fresh tomatoes, with thin slices of
mozzarella cheese and fresh basil.
Main Dishes
'orn casserole: %ernels of sweet corn in a
mi*ture of onions, bell peppers, and carrots.
,lac% beans ; la cubana, coo%ed in a
tomato sauce with celery, bell peppers,
cilantro and mild chili powder.
'arrots and pineapple.
Dessert
Tapioca pudding.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
In March3 19;I3 +rofessor %a6id -ohm and his 0ife !aral came to stay 0ith .s
for si? 0ee9s: They had been 6isiting O1ai reg.larly since 197B aro.nd the time
of the Tal9s3 staying for a month or t0o in the .pstairs g.est apartment across
from +ine Cottage: O6er the years I 0as able to 0itness at close range the
fascinating friendship bet0een Krishnam.rti and %a6id3 0hich had been
flo0ering for t0enty years:
I had first heard of %a6id -ohm d.ring the 197M -roc90ood +.blic Tal9s3
0hen a st.dent mentioned him as Krishnam.rti*s Hright8hand man*3 a description
I fo.nd some0hat odd: )e 0ent on to tell me that -ohm3 originally from the
(:!:3 0as a professor of theoretical physics at $ondon (ni6ersity: "t one time he
had 0or9ed 0ith instein and Oppenheimer and held teaching positions at
.ni6ersities in -raGil and Israel: "s a tr.stee of the nglish ,o.ndation3 he and
his 0ife reg.larly 6isited -roc90ood +ar9 and had dialog.es 0ith Krishnam.rti3
as 0ell as 0ith the staff and st.dents:
The follo0ing year3 197F in !aanen3 I 0as going thro.gh a recently p.blished
boo9 by Krishnam.rti3 The Awakenin# o$ /ntelli#ence: The final chapter3 entitled
(n /ntelli#ence3 contained an edited transcript of a ri6eting dialog.e bet0een
Krishnam.rti and -ohm: The t0o brilliant minds mo6ed together and e?plored
the 0idth and depth of tho.ght and intelligence: I had ne6er before read or heard
anything li9e it: " fe0 days after this disco6ery3 I had a brief chance enco.nter
0ith %a6id and his 0ife3 as 0e met on o.r 0ay to the tent 0here Krishnam.rti
0as gi6ing a tal9 that morning: -.t it 0asn*t .ntil the spring of 197B3 that 0e got
to 9no0 each other better and became good friends:
J
In the co.rse of their friendship3 Krishnam.rti and %a6id fo.nd that they shared
not only a passion for .nco6ering the 0ays of tho.ght b.t also a concern for
lang.age and its proper .sage3 0ith a fondness for tracing the etymologies of
0ords: -oth of them often demonstrated in their dialog.es that ret.rning to the
root meaning of a 0ord co.ld pro6ide a s.rprising insightCnot only into its
history b.t also into the act.ality of 0hat the 0ord stood for: To their s.rprise3
they disco6ered that they 0ere .sing the same dictionary3 0hich 0as neither the
O?ford nor #ebster*s b.t the little89no0n Eniversal Fictionar" o$ the Jn#lish
Lan#ua#e by #yld T +artridge:
%.ring the years of their cooperation3 Krishnam.rti and %a6id engaged in
many dialog.es3 some of 0hich3 li9e the 197= series of t0el6e dialog.es at
-roc90ood +ar93 0ere recorded: In 197B3 se6en disc.ssions bet0een
Krishnam.rti3 %a6id -ohm3 and %a6id !hainberg3 a psychiatrist from Ne0 7or9
City3 0ere 6ideo8recorded for the first time and released .nder the title The
Trans$ormation o$ !an:
In the co.rse of their con6ersations3 they not only e?plored the nat.re of the
mind b.t also sharpened their 6erbal acc.racy by clearly defining 9ey concepts:
Krishnam.rti had consistently .sed simple3 e6eryday lang.age to e?press his
insights3 at times employing poetic images: "t heart3 he held to the fact that Hthe
description is not the described3 the 0ord is not the thing*: That is3 he .sed 0ords
to point to something beyond the 0ord and therefore tended to be fle?ible in his
.se of lang.age:
This 0as made clear 0hen they fine8t.ned the distinction bet0een related
concepts3 li9e Hmind*3 Hbrain*3 Hintellect*3 and Htho.ght*K Ha0areness*3 Hattention*3
and Hinsight*K and Hreality*3 Hact.ality*3 and Htr.th*3 often .sed interchangeably by
Krishnam.rti: specially in the latter e?ample3 the clarification bro.ght o.t some
telling aspects of meaning: The 0ord Hreality* deri6es from the $atin Hres*
meaning Hthing*3 0hich in t.rn is related to Hreri* U Hto thin9*: Th.s3 o.r e6eryday
reality consists of things that e?ist and that 0e can thin9 abo.t: "ccordingly3
e6en ill.sions3 lies and deceptions are forms of realityCat least3 in the brain in
0hich they occ.r and in the real effects that res.lt from the actions they can gi6e
rise to: Th.s3 a person s.ffering .nder the del.sion that he or she is Napoleon
0ill prod.ce beha6ior characteristic of Napoleon: In contrast to Hreality* there is
Hact.ality*CHthat 0hich acts*3 or to .se Krishnam.rti*s phrase3 what is:
H"ct.ality* incl.des Hreality* b.t also transcends it3 in that it denotes a dynamic
0holeness3 in 0hich all things are related and interact and 0here their ordinary
di6ision is s.spended and made 0hole: HTr.th*3 then3 is beyond both Hreality* and
Hact.ality*3 li9e the gro.nd or bac9gro.nd 0hich allo0s the act.al to manifest:
(ltimately tr.th is beyond comprehension and 6erbaliGationA sheer no8thing8ness:
"ll this defining of 0ords3 images and concepts 0as more than 1.st semantic
playCit corresponded to an act.al process3 in 0hich t0o brilliant minds e?plored
h.man conscio.sness to see if there 0as something beyond the perimeters of
tho.ghtA the .n9no0n3 the limitless:
J
#hen %a6id and !aral -ohm came to stay 0ith .s at "rya /ihara3 it 0as a
@.ant.m leap in more than one respect3 for both the staff and myself: The
e6ening meal 0hich I prepared for them at ":/: became a c.lt.ral e6ent3 of sorts:
"ny of the staff 0ere 0elcome to 1oin %a6id and the ":/: residents for dinner
and to participate in the dialog.e3 0hich .s.ally started d.ring the meal and
contin.ed after0ards in the sitting room: " great many of the teachers en1oyed
the opport.nity to con6erse 0ith %a6id in a rela?ed atmosphere3 gaining thereby
a fresh perspecti6e on the @.estions raised by Krishnam.rti3 as 0ell as 6oicing
their o0n 6ie0s: These e6enings 0ith %a6id 0ere f.ll of disco6ery and easy
la.ghter:
One e6ening in March3 19;I3 after 0e had finished dinner and retired to the
sitting room3 a teacher ne0 to the school 0as c.rio.s to 9no0 ho0 t0o people as
di6erse in @.alifications3 temperament and bac9gro.nd as Krishnam.rti and
%a6id had met in the first place:
2)o0 did it happen that yo. and Krishnam.rti got to 9no0 each other45 she
as9ed:
"s he 0as sometimes 0ont to do3 he left it to !aral to ans0er @.estions that
concerned both of them: 2It 0as in 19=735 she began3 2and %a6e 0as 0or9ing at
-ristol (ni6ersity: One e6ening 0e 0ere in the p.blic library there3 and I came
.pon a boo9 entitled The )irst and Last )reedom: &oing thro.gh it3 I noticed a
n.mber of passages that tal9ed abo.t Hthe obser6er and the obser6ed*3 0hich
reminded me of the 0or9 that %a6e 0as engaged in in the field of @.ant.m
mechanics: !o I sho0ed him the boo9 and as he 0ent on reading it3 he became
more and more interested: !ince 0e didn*t 9no0 anything abo.t the a.thor3 0e
e6ent.ally 0rote to the p.blisher to obtain information abo.t Krishnam.rti: They
sent .s an address 0here 0e co.ld find o.t more abo.t him: #hen 0e contacted
the office3 0hich at that time 0as in $ondon3 they ga6e .s the date and place of a
tal9 he 0as to gi6e there: #e heard him spea9 for the first time in 19BI:5
2"nd ho0 did yo. get to meet him in person45
2"fter 0e heard his tal9s3 %a6e became 6ery interested in tal9ing 0ith him in
person: !o 0e again 0rote to the office in $ondon and as9ed if a pri6ate meeting
co.ld be arranged3 and they 6ery s0iftly responded3 as9ing .s if it 0as
con6enient for .s to meet 0ith Mr: Krishnam.rti at s.ch a place at s.ch a time:
)e 0as staying at a hotel in $ondon3 and 0e 0ent .p to his room: )e 0as 6ery
friendly3 trying to ma9e .s feel comfortable: ,or a 0hile it felt a bit formal3 b.t
he 0as 6ery open and attenti6e 0hen %a6e started telling him abo.t his 0or9: )e
0as listening 0ith great intensity3 as9ing %a6e all sorts of @.estions3 completely
0itho.t reser6e or any barriers bet0een them: #hen %a6e started tal9ing abo.t
the obser6er and the obser6ed3 Krishna1i became more and more e?cited3 saying
H7es3 yes3 yes3* and finally he 0as h.gging %a6e:5 !he started to la.gh as she
reco.nted the final part of the story:
The ten of .s seated comfortably on the sofa and in the armchairs of the 0ell8
lit sitting room 1oined in her la.ghter as her narration e6o9ed the enco.nter
bet0een the conser6ati6e3 @.iet professor and the energetic Krishnam.rti3 his
senior by t0enty years: %a6id 0as also la.ghing heartily3 6igoro.sly slapping the
bac9 of his head 0ith one hand3 one of his pec.liar gest.res:
"fter that3 their ac@.aintance gre0 into friendship and cooperation as the
-ohms reg.larly attended the Tal9s at !aanen: In the nat.ral splendor of the
!0iss mo.ntains3 the t0o men 0ent on long 0al9s3 tal9ing o6er together the
enormo.s problems and challenges that confronted h.manity: #hen in 19B; a
ne03 international fo.ndationCthe Krishnam.rti ,o.ndation Tr.stC0as
fo.nded in ngland3 Krishnam.rti as9ed %a6id to be one of its tr.stees:
!.bse@.ently3 both %a6id and !aral became deeply in6ol6ed in the 0or9 of the
ne0 school at -roc90ood +ar9:
J
"t the end of March3 19;I3 Krishnam.rti started to ha6e reg.lar afternoon
meetings 0ith both staff and parents of the Oa9 &ro6e: <.st at that time3 the
-ohms arri6ed: Krishnam.rti cordially 0elcomed them and made s.re they had
e6erything they needed in the g.est apartment3 less than t0enty yards from his
o0n @.arters: )e and Mary >: came to 1oin %a6id and !aral and the rest of .s for
s.pper at ":/: that e6ening3 a rare e6ent3 since they .s.ally had s.pper by
themsel6es at +ine Cottage: Krishnam.rti in6ited %a6id to come to the meeting
0ith teachers the follo0ing day:
"t the beginning of the dialog.e in the li6ing room of +ine Cottage3
Krishnam.rti as9ed %a6id to sit in an armchair ne?t to him and introd.ced him
and !aral to the staffCe6en tho.gh many of .s had already made their
ac@.aintance: In p.blic3 he tended to be conser6ati6ely formal and also no0
referred to him as H%r: -ohm* and H+rofessor -ohm*: -.t half80ay thro.gh the
disc.ssion he s.ddenly t.rned to him and as9ed3 2May I call yo. %a6id4 "fter
all3 0e ha6e 9no0n and disc.ssed 0ith each other for o6er t0enty years:5 It 0as
an entirely sincere @.estion3 altho.gh both affection and light8hearted h.mor
0ere present:
%a6id replied3 2Of co.rse3 Krishna1i: "fter all3 I*6e been calling yo.
Krishna1i all along:5
%elighted la.ghter arose among .s3 shared by Krishnam.rti and %a6id3 and a
spirit of friendship comm.nicated itself:
%.ring l.nch the follo0ing day Krishnam.rti as9ed %a6id3 0ho 0as sitting
across from him3 2#hen shall 0e start o.r dialog.e3 sir45
2#hene6er it*s con6enient for yo.3 Krishna1i: Maybe in the ne?t fe0 days45
2Tomorro0 afternoon45 Krishnam.rti as9ed3 loo9ing @.estioningly at the
teacher 0ho 0as in charge of a.dio recording: 2#o.ld that be all right3 sir45
2Tomorro0 in the afternoon45 the teacher said: 2That 0o.ld be T.esday3
"pril 1: 7es3 I thin9 that*s all right3 Krishna1i: #hat time4 ,o.r o*cloc945
The follo0ing afternoon3 the t0o friends met in front of the fireplace of +ine
Cottage3 microphones attached to their lapels3 to start a 6ery serio.s and in8depth
in6estigation of the condition of h.manity: The tr.stees and se6eral others of .s
0ere in6ited to attend the dialog.e as obser6ers: Krishnam.rti 0as dressed in
1eans and a cardigan3 0hile %a6id 0ore a s0eater3 a 1ac9et and tie3 as he .s.ally
did:
Krishnam.rti started o.t by s.ggesting that h.manity had ta9en a 0rong t.rn
a long time ago3 0hich had led to endless conflict and sorro0: The HI* and its
patterns of di6ision and becoming 0ere at the root of conflict: +sychological time
0as the enemy of man: +roceeding tentati6ely3 they concl.ded that the o.t0ard
and the in0ard 0ere not separate b.t one and the same mo6ement: #hen that
mo6ement came to a stop3 0hen the mind 0as silently 0ith itself3 there 0as
meditation: Krishnam.rti reco.nted one s.ch e6ent from his past: One night in
India3 he 0o9e .p at a @.arter past t0el6e3 and the so.rce of all energy had been
reached: !ince this led to a complete sense of peace and lo6e3 he 0anted others to
get to this point3 he told %a6id:
R.estioning 0hether there 0as s.ch a thing as psychological e6ol.tion3 they
e?amined the difference bet0een mind and brain3 and the interrelationship of
tho.ght3 9no0ledge3 memory and e?perience: Once psychological 9no0ledge3
0hich formed the Hme*3 came to an end3 there 0o.ld be no8thing8ness: This
nothingness 0as e6erything3 and e6erything 0as energy:
There 0ere certainly se6eral astonishing @.ant.m leaps 0hich occ.rred
d.ring their dialog.e: ,or .s3 the listeners3 it 0as a st.nning circle of
completeness: #e co.ld only mar6el at the e?ploratory po0er of these t0o
minds3 ho0 they pondered together d.ring long inter6als of silence3 ho0 they
sometimes spo9e at the same time b.t ne6er lost contact 0ith each other: It 0as a
mar6elo.s choreography from conscio.sness to emptiness: #rapping .p their
con6ersation3 they conc.rred that in the ending of time there 0as a ne0
beginning3 0hich 0as not of time:
The ne0ly started thriller of a dialog.e contin.ed the ne?t day3 again 0ith
se6eral of .s present as obser6ers: Krishnam.rti and %a6id pic9ed .p 0here they
had left off3 probing not only into the partic.lar mind3 0ith its patterns of
becoming and conflict3 b.t also into the .ni6ersal mind and 0hat 0as beyond:
)a6ing eliminated psychological time3 becoming and desire3 they mo6ed step by
step beyond nat.re and creation3 beyond the .ni6ersal mind3 beyond energy3
emptiness and silence3 to an immensity 0here beginning and ending 0ere the
same: "t one point they faced the parado? that 0hat they 0ere doing 0as p.tting
the absol.te into 0ords: They agreed that it had to be done3 e6en tho.gh the
absol.te co.ld ne6er be p.t into 0ords: #hen finally they reached that 0hich had
nothing beyond it3 0hich 0as 0itho.t ca.se3 they tentati6ely referred to it as Hthe
gro.nd*3 0here there 0as no beginning and no ending:
"fter ta9ing this breathta9ing 1o.rney to the 6ery edge bet0een the
e?pressible and the ine?pressible3 they 0ondered ho0 all this might be con6eyed
to an ordinary person: %espite the apparent diffic.lty3 they felt it 0as necessary
to do it since 0itho.t some relationship 0ith Hthe gro.nd*3 li6ing didn*t ha6e any
meaning: Krishnam.rti s.ggested that the p.rs.it of this 0o.ld lead to a
mar6elo.sly ordered 0orld: %a6id3 in t.rn3 0ondered 0hat one 0o.ld do in s.ch
a 0orld3 and Krishnam.rti replied that3 once the factors of conflict and disorder
0ere gone3 something else3 0hich he called creati6ity3 0o.ld come into
operation: The professor tho.ght it important to ma9e this clear3 beca.se the
Christian idea of hea6en as perfection appeared rather boring3 since there 0as
nothing to do: 2That reminds me of a good 1o9e35 Krishnam.rti remar9ed: 2"
man dies and goes .p to the +early &ates: !t: +eter says to him3 H7o.*6e li6ed a
fairly good life3 not cheated or sinned too m.ch: -.t before entering hea6en I
m.st tell yo. that 0e*re all bored here: &od ne6er la.ghs3 and the angels are
@.ite moody3 praying most of the time: !o please hesitate before entering hea6en:
+erhaps yo.*d li9e to go do0n belo0 and see 0hat that*s li9e: Then come and
tell me 0hat yo. prefer: -.t it*s .p to yo.: <.st ring that bell o6er there: "n
ele6ator 0ill come .p and yo. 1.st get into it and go do0n:* !o the chap rings the
bell and goes do0n in the ele6ator: The doors open and he is met by the most
bea.tif.l girls3 0ho ta9e care of him3 et cetera3 et cetera: H-y <o6e*3 he thin9s3
Hthis is the life:* "nd he says to the girls3 HMay I 1.st go and tell !t: +eter4* )e
rings the bell3 gets into the ele6ator and goes .p: )e says to !t: +eter3 H!ir3 it*s
6ery good of yo. to ha6e offered me the choice3 I prefer it do0n belo0:* !t: +eter
says3 HI tho.ght yo. 0o.ld:* The man rings the bell again and goes do0n: The
doors open and t0o .gly fiends grab him and beat him .p3 p.shing and 9ic9ing
him: )e moans3 H#ait a min.te: <.st a 0hile ago yo. treated me li9e a 9ing: "nd
no0 thisK 0hy4* H"h3 yo. 0ere a to.rist then:*5
#e had already started giggling and la.ghing3 0hile he 0as telling the 1o9e in
a some0hat breathless manner: "t the p.nch line 0e b.rst into e?.berant mirth:
There 0as something entirely innocent abo.t him3 as he e?plored the absol.te in
dialog.e 0ith his friend and concl.ded it 0ith a 1o9e abo.t hea6en and hell:
#hen the la.ghter died do0n he added3 2!orry: ,rom the s.blime to the
ridic.lo.sC0hich is good3 too:5
"s 0e all got .p3 tears of la.ghter in o.r eyes and a sense of a0e in o.r
hearts3 Krishnam.rti s.ggested to %a6id that they go on 0ith their dialog.e:
J
O6er the follo0ing t0o 0ee9s they engaged in a f.rther si? dialog.es3 d.ring
0hich se6eral of the obser6ers participated marginally: They e?plored the
dominant role that man had gi6en to tho.ght and as9ed 0hether there co.ld be an
act.al3 physical m.tation of the brain cells thro.gh direct insight: The meaning of
death3 and 0hat 0as the action of a person 0ho had to.ched Hthe gro.nd* in
relation to the rest of h.manity 0ere the concerns they addressed d.ring the last
t0o of their eight con6ersations in O1ai: The O1ai Tal9s3 sched.led for the first
t0o 0ee9s in May3 inter6ened: It 0asn*t .ntil m.ch later3 in <.ne and !eptember3
19;I3 that Krishnam.rti and %a6id 0o.ld concl.de their in6estigations into the
nat.re of the mind and the brain d.ring another se6en dialog.es at -roc90ood
+ar9:
These fifteen dialog.es of 19;I3 the final fi6e of 0hich 0ere also 6ideotaped3
0ere seen as a coherent series and e6ent.ally p.blished in boo9 form .nder the
title The Jndin# o$ Time:
Cha%ter 13
, O O % , O ' T ) O ( & ) T
Starters
Tossed green salad with vinaigrette or
creamy ranch house dressing.
1aldorf salad, prepared with apples,
grapes, celery and walnuts.
'ucumber salad with sour cream, lemon
"uice & honey, and cilantro.
Main Dishes
1hite bean soup, with onions,
celery and tomatoes.
9ome#made spinach fettuccine, served
with a tomato and fresh basil sauce and
grated $armesan cheese.
1hole ba%ed zucchini.
Dessert
Three types of ice cream and sherbet.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
In 19;I the O1ai Tal9s did not occ.r in "pril as in pre6io.s years b.t at the
beginning of May3 since they 0ere then less li9ely to be rained o.t: There 0ere
si? tal9s on three consec.ti6e 0ee9ends3 0ith fo.r inter6ening @.estion8and8
ans0er meetings: " professional cre0 6ideotaped them:
#hen3 a fe0 days after the concl.sion of the &athering3 0e bid Krishnam.rti
fare0ell beneath the pepper tree3 he 0as f.ll of a s.btle energy3 0ith an inner fire
that to.ched all of .s: %espite his delicate physi@.e3 he appeared to be at the
height of his po0ers3 at eighty8fi6e years of age:
,or the ne?t nine months I 0as in O1ai3 0or9ing at the school: -.t in my
mind I 0as follo0ing his 1o.rney across the face of the globeCto .rope3 India
and !ri $an9aCeagerly a0aiting ne0s of his tal9s and disc.ssions:
J
Krishnam.rti and Mary >: arri6ed at +ine Cottage in the late afternoon of ,riday3
,ebr.ary MI3 19;1: They had come 6ia ngland3 0here they had stopped o6er at
-roc90ood +ar9 for fi6e days on their ret.rn trip from -ombay: Krishnam.rti
loo9ed frail and tired3 not only on acco.nt of the long 1o.rney3 b.t also beca.se
of the demanding program that he had gone thro.gh in India:
,or l.nch the follo0ing day I prepared a #aldorf salad3 a c.c.mber salad
0ith so.r cream3 a 0hite bean so.p3 spinach fett.ccini 0ith a tomato sa.ce and
ba9ed G.cchini3 and for dessert3 three types of ice cream and sherbet: It 0as the
first day of the school*s spring brea93 so only the reg.lar g.ests sho0ed .p3
bringing the n.mber to t0el6e: More than anything else3 Krishnam.rti 0anted to
be filled in as to ho0 the school 0as coming along and calmly listened to the
director*s report3 e6ery so often as9ing a @.estion: I had to 0ait a 0hile before
the right moment arose to as9 him3 2)a6e yo. heard any good 1o9es recently3
Krishna1i45
I 0as sitting on the opposite side of the table t0o places a0ay from him and
.sed my lo.d 6oice to address him: )e appeared startled for an instant before
foc.sing his s.rprised gaGe on me: )is face lit .p 0ith a 0ide smile3 and he
didn*t ta9e more than a second to come .p 0ith the most recent one in his
collection of 1o9es: $oo9ing aro.nd the table3 he prefaced it by as9ing3 2"re there
any Christians here4 I don*t mean to blaspheme or offend anyone:5 !ince nobody
declared themsel6es to be religio.sly affiliated3 he contin.ed3 2The $ord and !t:
+eter are in hea6en obser6ing the action do0n on earth on a tele6ision monitor:
They are amaGed by 0hat they seeA people are fore6er r.shing abo.t3 ceaselessly
digging and constr.cting3 b.ilding large cities3 e6ery0here b.sy3 b.sy3 b.sy3
from early morning thro.gho.t the night: The $ord t.rns to !t: +eter and as9s
incred.lo.sly3 H#hat are they all doing3 b.sy from morning till night3 ne6er
resting3 fore6er stri6ing3 battling3 competing4 #hat*s the point of it4* !t: +eter
replies3 H#ell3 $ord3 these people are yo.r follo0ers3 they belie6e in yo. and
obey yo.: "nd yo. told them to eat their bread in the s0eat of their bro0s:* "nd
the $ord says to !t: +eter3 H-.t I 0as only 9idding:*5
#e started to la.gh3 b.t Krishnam.rti gest.red .s to calm do0n3 calling o.t3
2No3 don*t la.gh yet: There*s more to come: !t: +eter s0itches channels and they
see a magnificent ban@.et hall in the /atican 0ith h.ge tables filled 0ith
e?pensi6e delicacies: There are ca6iar and tr.ffles and the finest 0ines and so on:
).ndreds of big men in p.rple robes are seated aro.nd these tables3 feasting and
la.ghing3 drin9ing cognac and smo9ing cigars: They are the cardinals and
bishops3 ha6ing a feast: H-.t 0hat abo.t these people3* the $ord as9s !t: +eter3
Hthey don*t seem to be eating their bread in the s0eat of their bro0s: If yo. as9
me3 they seem to be ha6ing a 1olly good time:* !t: +eter says3 H#ell3 $ord3 these
are the ones 0ho knew yo. 0ere only 9idding:*5
#hen o.r e?hilarated la.ghter had died do0n3 he t.rned to me and as9ed 0ith
a t0in9le in his eye3 2#hat is the ne0s3 sir45
I had been e?tremely b.sy the last fe0 days3 preparing the ":/: 9itchen for
his arri6al3 and hadn*t spent m.ch time follo0ing the most recent ne0s
de6elopments: Ta9ing a deep breath3 I @.ic9ly tried to gather my 0its abo.t me:
2#ell3 Krishna1i3 yo. are probably familiar 0ith most of these e6ents: If yo.
don*t mind3 I*ll gi6e a @.ic9 recap of the most important c.rrent affairs: "s yo.
9no03 last month 'onald 'eagan 0as s0orn in as the ne0 president: -y
coincidence3 after almost a year and a half of capti6ity3 the "merican hostages at
the "merican embassy in Teheran 0ere freed aro.nd Ina.g.ration %ay:
Mean0hile3 the !o6iet in6asion of "fghanistan is contin.ing 0ith m.ch
bloodshed3 and the conflict bet0een Iran and Ira@ appears to be intensifying:5 In
that 6ein I pro6ided a headline s.r6ey of the 0orld e6ents of the last fe0 months:
Krishnam.rti listened 0ith f.ll attention to my acco.nt3 a smile playing aro.nd
his eyes and lips: #hen I co.ld not thin9 of anything more to report3 I t.rned to
him directly3 2"nd yo.3 Krishna1i3 ha6e also been in the ne0s: Mr: $illiefelt and
Mr: )oo9er told .s that Indira &andhi 6isited yo. in 'ishi /alley 0ith many
armed g.ards and .nder strict sec.rity: "nd3 before that3 yo. 0ere in6ited to !ri
$an9a and had a tal9 0ith the prime minister there: #hat 0as it li9e3 sir45
Krishnam.rti ga6e a shr.g and a characteristic gest.re3 indicating that all of
that 0as of little importance: "lan )oo9er and Theo $illiefelt3 both of 0hom
0ere present at the table3 had been 0ith him in India in %ecember 19;I and3 on
their ret.rn to O1ai3 had pro6ided an am.sing and detailed acco.nt of the Indian
prime minister*s 6isit 0ith Krishnam.rti at the 'ishi /alley !chool: 6eryone
no0 t.rned to0ard Krishnam.rti3 eager to hear an acco.nt of his 6isit to the
1e0el island3 !ri $an9a3 formerly 9no0n as Ceylon and !erendip:
+.lling a f.nny face as he loo9ed at .s3 he as9ed3 27o. 0ant me to tell yo.
abo.t it45
27es3 sir35 se6eral of .s intoned:
2"ll right: The go6ernment of !ri $an9a had in6ited .s to come as g.ests of
the state: They p.t .s .p in the official g.est ho.se3 o0ned by the go6ernment:
!e6eral dignitaries and ministers came to 0elcome .s3 and later 0e had an
inter6ie0 0ith one of them on tele6ision: There 0ere se6eral p.blic tal9s3 I thin9
fo.r of them: They reported it in the ne0spapers and on the radio and tele6ision:
!he 0as 0ith me d.ring this time and can tell yo. more abo.t it35 he added3
pointing at Mary >: )e generally a6oided reco.nting his personal e?periences
and sometimes e6en apologiGed 0hen tal9ing abo.t himself:
Mary >: readily 0ent on3 2+.p.l <aya9ar and Nandini Mehta 0ere 0ith .s3
and d.ring the follo0ing days 0e 0ere b.sy 0ith press conferences and radio
and tele6ision inter6ie0s: The day after o.r arri6al3 Krishna1i met the prime
minister3 Mr: +remadasa3 a 6ery nice man: The fo.r p.blic tal9s at Colombo 0ere
attended by tho.sands of people and broadcast li6e thro.gho.t the island: "fter
this3 Krishna1i held se6eral dialog.es 0ith -.ddhist mon9s and spo9e at
Colombo (ni6ersity: One afternoon the president of !ri $an9a in6ited .s for tea:
)e 0as 6ery interested in 0hat Krishna1i tal9ed abo.t and as9ed for a pri6ate
inter6ie0 0ith him3 0hich e6ent.ally lasted almost an ho.r and a half: "t the
end3 he in6ited .s to 6isit Kandy3 in the interior of the co.ntry:5
I had 6isited Kandy3 the former royal capital of !ri $an9a3 t0el6e years
earlier: It 0as an attracti6e to0n by a small la9e in the tropical highlands3 famo.s
in the -.ddhist 0orld for the Temple of the Tooth3 0hich ho.sed a relic of the
historical &a.tama !iddhartha !ha9yam.ni3 the -.ddha: %.ring the time of the
f.ll moon in ".g.st3 there 0as a 0ee98long series of magnificent processionsC
tho.sands of Kandyan dancers in sil6er8filigree attire3 accompanied by dr.mmers
and pipers3 and h.ndreds of splendidly ornamented elephantsCthro.gh the
torch8lit streets of the to0n: The parade3 9no0n as Hsala +erahera* and of
religio.s significance3 started and ended at the Temple of the Tooth: I had been
deeply enchanted by the splendor of the procession and the sense of re6elry
among the h.ndreds of tho.sands of participants: No0 I as9ed Krishnam.rti3
2%id yo. 6isit the Temple of the Tooth3 sir3 0hile yo. 0ere in Kandy45
2No3 sir: The three ladies 0ent 0hile I too9 a rest35 he replied3 adding after a
moment*s @.iet deliberation3 2b.t t0enty8some years ago I tal9ed in Colombo3
and they too9 .s on a to.r of the mon.ments and temples all aro.nd the island:
#hen 0e 6isited Kandy at that time3 they also sho0ed .s the Temple of the
Tooth:5 " spar9le entered his eyes3 and he e?plained 0ith a 0ide smile3 2They
9eep one of the holiest relics of the -.ddhist 0orld there3 a tooth of the -.ddha:
!o it 0as all 6ery ceremonio.s and solemn 0hen 0e entered the temple3 and the
head mon9 in saffron robes and 0ith sha6ed head 0elcomed .s and led .s into
the inner sanct.m:5 )e 0as la.ghing no0 at the memory of the e6ent: 2"nd they
bro.ght o.t a small bo? encr.sted 0ith magnificent 1e0els3 in 0hich they 9ept
the tooth: They solemnly opened it3 so that 0e co.ld ha6e a loo9 at the tooth: It
0as a h.ge old thing3 yello0 and eroded:5 #ith th.mb and inde? finger he
demonstrated the siGe of the tooth3 almost an inch 0ide: 2"nd I 0as 0ondering if
it really 0as a h.man tooth: It co.ld easily ha6e been a horse*s tooth3 that*s ho0
big it 0as:5
#e all b.rst o.t la.ghing at his description: )e act.ally held the -.ddha in
the highest regard3 probably more than any other religio.s fig.re in history: "t
the same time3 he ne6er relin@.ished his f.ndamental s9epticism 0ith regard to
rit.als and religio.s traditions3 as he had 1.st demonstrated:
J
%.ring the follo0ing 0ee9 there 0as contin.o.s rain3 0hich at times intensified
to hea6y do0npo.rs and th.nderstorms3 co6ering the high mo.ntain ridges of the
6alley 0ith sno0: !ome of the teachers started ta9ing t.rns to 1oin .s for l.nch at
":/:3 b.t .nfort.nately Krishnam.rti felt .n0ell for se6eral days3 and 0e had to
l.nch 0itho.t him:
)e too9 @.ite a detached 6ie0 of the frailties that sometimes afflicted him3
s.ch as hay fe6er3 sin.s inflammation and hearing problems3 1o9ing light8
heartedly3 2,irst the teeth go3 then the ears and then the eyes3 and at last yo. also
0ill go do0n into the earth:5
6ery once in a 0hile3 as no03 I got to obser6e the 6eracity of this statement3
not only in myself b.t also in Krishnam.rti: )e 0as feeling e?ha.sted3 probably
as a res.lt of his gr.eling program in India3 follo0ed by e?tensi6e tra6eling and
the conse@.ent change of climate: -esides3 he had an .pset stomach3 maybe the
onset of stomach fl.: "ro.nd noontime I carried his l.nch o6er to +ine Cottage
and 0as s.rprised that he opened the door for me: $oo9ing into his face3 I 0as
e6en more startled by a radical change in it: The lips 0ere abnormally p.lled in3
shortening the distance bet0een nose and chin and thereby altering the 0hole
str.ct.re of the face: )e 0as immediately a0are of my astonishment3 and3
mo6ing his hand e?ploringly to his mo.th3 he stated 0itho.t embarrassment3
2I*6e had some tro.ble 0ith my teeth: !e6eral had to be e?tracted3 and the doctor
p.t in some remo6able bridges: I forgot to p.t them in:5
,or some reason3 I felt a deep sense of h.mility3 as he e?plained to me the
details of his health 0ith complete openness: #hen I didn*t respond to his
statement3 he contin.ed3 27o. 9no03 sir3 my teeth ha6e al0ays been highly
sensiti6e: It*s probably in the genes:5
!e6eral days later3 the first Monday in March and the beginning of school
after the spring brea93 he came for l.nch by himself3 since Mary >: had gone to
$"V to pic9 .p some friends3 0ho 0ere arri6ing from ,rance that afternoon: )e
entered the 9itchen3 and 0e cordially greeted each other3 0hen all at once I
noticed that his mo.th 0as p.c9ered in: )esitating for a moment3 I said3 2?c.se
me3 Krishna1i3 co.ld it be that yo. forgot to p.t in yo.r dental bridges45
)e co6ered his mo.th 0ith one hand and said3 astonished at his forgetf.lness3
2-y <o6e3 sir3 yo.*re right: I forgot to p.t them in: I left them in the bathroom: I
1.st ha6e to go bac9:5
)e started to giggle to himself 0hile he searched for something in his
poc9ets: ,inally he p.lled o.t a set of 9eys: 2#ell3 I*6e got the 9eysCI*ll be right
bac9:5
Ten min.tes later he ret.rned 0ith the dental bridges in place and his splendid
face intact and as9ed3 2#hat*s for l.nch3 Michael45
I told him 0hat the men. 0as3 pointing at the respecti6e dishes3 2There is3 of
co.rse3 the green salad3 and a pasta salad3 and an a6ocado salad3 made 0ith
a6ocados3 tomatoes3 onions and bell peppers: Then 0e ha6e ba9ed potatoes3 and
a 9ind of @.iche made 0ith grated G.cchini and cheese: This comes 0ith a
6egetable dish that is a bit li9e ratato.ille3 e?cept it*s made 0ith G.cchini3
eggplantCor a.bergineCand a tomato sa.ce:5
)e 0as paying close attention to 0hat I 0as saying: It al0ays s.rprised me
that his 9een interest e?tended to the min.tiae of e6eryday life:
2"nd for dessert3 Krishna1i35 I said 0ith a slightly e?aggerated intonation3
beca.se of his fondness for a s0eet treat3 20e*ll be ha6ing hal6ah: It*s a Middle
astern s0eet made from sesame seeds and honey:5
)e raised his eyebro0s 0ith delighted s.rprise and3 pointing at the dishes3
remar9ed3 2-.t the portions yo. prepared are rather small today3 aren*t they45
2There are only fi6e of .s for l.nch today3 Krishna1i35 I replied3 2so 0e need a
lot less than .s.al:5
)e nodded .nderstandingly3 2#ho*s coming for l.nch3 sir45
2#ell3 the $illiefelts are here3 Mr: )oo9er3 yo. and ICthat*s all35 I replied:
2"h3 good35 he said3 20e*ll be en $amille:5
It 0as3 indeed3 a 6ery rela?ed and friendly meal: #hile re6ie0ing the c.rrent
0orld sit.ation3 0e began tal9ing abo.t the comm.nist system and the hegemony
of the !o6iet (nion o6er the astern .ropean co.ntries: rna $illiefelt
mentioned that in se6eral of these co.ntries3 especially in +oland and 'omania3
there 0as considerable interest in Krishnam.rti:
2It*s li9e an .ndergro.nd mo6ement3 Krishna1i35 she said: 2They translate
yo.r boo9s and secretly ma9e a fe0 copies3 0hich then are passed aro.nd from
hand to hand:5
2"nd it*s probably not 0itho.t danger35 I added: 2%espite its relati6e
independence from Mosco03 the Cea.sesc. regime is dreadf.lly s.ppressi6e at
home: "ny form of dissent is br.tally eradicated: I 0as reading the other day that
e6eryone 0ho o0ned a type0riter had to register it 0ith the go6ernment:5
2#hy4 To control any form of printed p.blic information45 "lan as9ed:
2I s.ppose so35 I ans0ered: 2It*s also easy to ma9e copies on a type0riter
0ith carbon paper35 I s.ggested: T.rning to Krishnam.rti3 I as9ed3 2Krishna1i3
did yo. e6er 6isit and spea9 in any of the ast .ropean co.ntries45
2I thin9 it 0as in the early 19FIs3 0hen I spo9e in "thens and tra6eled 6ia
Constantinople to -.charest35 he reco.nted: 2The R.eenCI*6e forgotten her
nameCin6ited .s to the palace se6eral times: -.t there 0ere some fanatical3
nationalist Catholic st.dents3 0ho had made threats against my life:5
I gasped incred.lo.sly3 2-.t 0hy3 sir45
)e .ttered a soft la.gh3 2They sa0 .s as a threat to their plans: #e tal9ed
against organiGed religion3 against nationalism3 and so on: I did not really ta9e
the threat serio.sly b.t the go6ernment did: They posted armed g.ards at the
door of o.r hotel rooms: ach time 0e came and 0ent3 there they 0ere3
follo0ing .s aro.nd night and day: -.t nothing happened: "s 0e 0ere lea6ing
the co.ntry3 I all at once became 6iolently ill on the trainCthro0ing .p3 blood3
and so on: I co.ldn*t 9eep do0n any food for days:5
I didn*t @.ite .nderstand the connection bet0een the threats on his life and his
getting ill3 so I as9ed3 2-.t 0hat ca.sed yo.r s.dden illness45
2!omeho0 they m.st ha6e secretly introd.ced some poison into my food: It
0as strange: I 0as the only one to get ill: I don*t 9no0 ho0 they did it35 he said:
2"nd it stayed 0ith me for a long time:5
27o. mean the illness stayed 0ith yo.45
27es35 he responded3 2the illness3 the poison3 0hate6er it 0as: ,or years
after0ards it rec.rred to 6arying degrees3 and I only slo0ly reco6ered from it:5
2%o yo. still s.ffer from it no045
2Oh3 no3 no0 it*s long gone35 he said 0ith a dismissi6e gest.re:
#e started tal9ing abo.t the 'oman Catholic Ch.rch and its tremendo.s
0ealth and po0er3 and ho0 thro.gho.t history it had coll.ded 0ith the sec.lar
po0ers3 e6en if these happened to be totalitarian regimes3 s.ch as the ,ascists:
Krishnam.rti s.ddenly as9ed .s3 2%o yo. 9no0 !tresa45
I tho.ght he 0as tal9ing abo.t a person and as9ed3 2No3 I don*t: #ho is it45
)e smiled3 2It*s a to0n3 a famo.s resort on $ago Maggiore in northern Italy:
In the early thirties3 0hile M.ssolini 0as in po0er3 I 0as in6ited to gi6e se6eral
tal9s in !tresa: On the first day there 0ere all the bishops3 cardinals and generals
sitting in the front ro0: I don*t 9no0 0hy they cameCperhaps they tho.ght I
0as a g.est of the state: I tal9ed abo.t freedom from a.thority3 ho0 destr.cti6e it
0as to follo0 anyone3 and so on: The ne?t day all the front ro0s 0ere empty3 and
there 0as one old 0oman sitting in the bac9 ro0:5
#e shared his la.ghter at the 6i6id scene of fifty years ago: T.rning serio.s
again3 he contin.ed3 2No3 sir: They can*t listen to anyone @.estioning their
a.thority: It 0as the same in "rgentina: I 0as on a to.r of !o.th "merica
spea9ing in 6ario.s cities: In -.enos "ires3 the ne0spapers 0ere f.ll of it3
reporting e6ery tal93 0ith photographs and so on: They 0ere broadcasting the
tal9s3 not only o6er the radio b.t also o6er lo.dspea9ers at a n.mber of street
corners: -.t in the ch.rches they 0ere preaching against me3 saying I 0as the
"ntichrist3 and 0anting to deport me from the co.ntry:5
2"nd did they s.cceed45 a lady as9ed:
2No3 not at all35 he replied: 2!ome of the ne0spapers and intellect.als too9
my side3 printing and distrib.ting the tal9s in !panish translations:5
#e 0ere silent for a 0hile3 then Krishnam.rti spo9e .p3 2That reminds me of
a good 1o9e I heard the other day: The +ope dies and goes .p to the +early &ates
0here he meets !t: +eter: )e says to him3 H7o. m.st be !t: +eter:* !t: +eter
ans0ers3 H"nd 0ho are yo.4* The +ope is ta9en abac93 H7o. don*t recogniGe me4
I*m the +ope:* !t: +eter pic9s .p his list and goes o6er the names3 H+ope3 +opeC
I*m sorry3 there is nobody here by that name: I*m sorry3 b.t yo. can*t enter
hea6en:* The +ope is shoc9ed: HThere m.st be some mista9e: It*s impossibleCI
m.st be on that list: +lease3 loo9 againA I*m the +opeL* !t: +eter gets impatient
and tells him to b.GG off: -y no0 the +ope is in tears and begs him3 H+lease3 !t:
+eter3 I*m yo.r s.ccessor and the representati6e of <es.s on earth: I*m the head
of the )oly 'oman Ch.rch: I ha6e a right to enter hea6en:* !t: +eter is getting
annoyed and says3 HI*6e ne6er heard of anything so foolish: If yo. don*t
immediately b.GG off3 I*ll call the angels 0ith the flaming s0ords:* The +ope is
in .tter despair: HNo3 please don*t3 I beg of yo.: Can*t yo. as9 somebody 0ho
9no0s me4 Maybe <es.s or one of the saints 0ill 6o.ch for me:* !t: +eter gi6es
in and says to the chap3 H"ll right3 I*ll go and as9 inside: 7o. stay here: "nd
don*t to.ch anything:* !o he goes inside3 and there are <es.s3 his mother Mary3
the apostles and se6eral angels and saints: H?c.se me3 $ord3* says !t: +eter3
Hthere is a chap by the name of +ope 0anting to enter hea6en: )e claims to ha6e
been yo.r representati6e on earth:* <es.s la.ghs3 HMy representati6e on earth4
That*s rather abs.rd3 isn*t it4 "nd I*6e ne6er heard of anyone named +ope:*
T.rning to the others3 he as9s3 H)a6e any of yo. e6er heard of a +ope4* No one
seems to 9no0 the +ope3 .ntil s.ddenly the /irgin Mary spea9s .p3 H#ait a
min.te: +opeCisn*t he the one 0ho spread all the r.mors abo.t me and the )oly
&host4*5
-.rsting into la.ghter3 the fi6e of .s shared the h.mor of this irre6erent story:
O.tside on the porch3 0e heard the rain streaming do0n and a s.dden clap of
th.nder:
2I*6e got to get bac9 to the office35 rna $illiefelt declared and3 getting .p
from the table3 collected her plate and sil6er0are: I @.ic9ly got .p and 1.mped
o6er to ta9e Krishnam.rti*s plate3 as I .s.ally did: 2May I ta9e yo.r plate3 sir45 I
as9ed politely3 and he loo9ed .p at me 0ith a smile as I gathered his table0are:
,or some reason3 I deri6ed satisfaction from ser6ing him in small 0ays li9e this:
2These are clean3 sir35 he said3 pointing at the .n.sed paper nap9in and the
glass: #ith that3 he also got .p and started helping 0ith the clearing of the table:
"fter p.tting some of the lefto6er food in plastic containers3 I carried them
o.tside to the storage refrigerator in the small room in front of the 9itchen: #hile
placing the items inside the refrigerator3 I noticed a large ch.n9 of hal6ah sitting
on one shelf: I co.ld still taste the s.btle s0eet fla6or of the hal6ah I had 1.st had
for dessert and s.ddenly cra6ed more: I too9 o.t my poc9et 9nife to c.t myself a
piece of the candy3 0hen I s.ddenly heard a gentle 6oice as9 from behind3
2Co.ld yo. please c.t me a piece3 too45
I t.rned aro.nd to face Krishnam.rti3 0ho had follo0ed me thro.gh the
9itchen door and .p the steps into the small front room: I felt a s.dden sense of
g.ilt coming on and for an instant 0as embarrassedCas if I had been ca.ght red8
handed: -.t Krishnam.rti stood on the threshold of the room and smiled
serenely3 calming my momentary apprehension3 0hich probably res.lted from
many occasions of secret childhood ind.lgences:
I remar9ed3 some0hat apologetically3 2This hal6ah is so delicio.s3 isn*t it45
%ra0ing a line 0ith the 9nife across a section of it3 I as9ed3 2)o0 m.ch 0o.ld
yo. li9e3 sir4 This m.ch45
There 0as an amaGing mirror8li9e @.ality abo.t Krishnam.rti as he @.ietly
stood there3 st.dying me 0ith honest and .ndisg.ised openness: There 0as no
di6ision bet0een .s3 b.t neither 0as there any sense of complicity: )e loo9ed at
the hal6ah I 0as pointing at:
2Maybe a little more than that35 he re@.ested and then t.rned aro.nd to loo9
closely at a three8dimensional topographical plastic map on the 0all:
2I*d better ta9e it to the 9itchen and 0rap it in some plastic film:5
2"ll right3 sir35 he agreed and then as9ed3 2#hat is this45
2It*s a map of this area3 Krishna1i35 I e?plained: 27o. see3 this is the O1ai
/alley: )ere is the Topa Topa 'ange3 and here 0e are3 Mc"ndre0 'oad: Of
co.rse3 the scale of the mo.ntains is e?aggerated: There*s /ent.ra3 and in this
direction there is $os "ngeles:5
2)m3 it*s @.ite detailed35 he remar9ed 0ith a smile:
"fter ret.rning to the 9itchen3 I 0rapped the hal6ah in some film and handed
it to him: Than9ing me3 he left thro.gh the bac9 door to0ard +ine Cottage:
!.ddenly I realiGed that I had forgotten the piece of hal6ah: I s0iftly c.t myself a
piece and started en1oying the smooth s0eetness before contin.ing 0ith the
9itchen clean8.p:
J
The rain 0ent on for the ne?t fe0 days3 and 0e had rather small3 intimate l.nches
at ":/: One day3 there 0ere only si? of .s at the table3 and Krishnam.rti
reco.nted 0hat he had seen earlier on the 2+hil %onah.e !ho053 a program he
sometimes li9ed to 0atch:
2It*s incredible3 sir3 the permissi6eness of this society35 he said to Theo
$illiefelt3 0ho 0as sitting across from him: 2The other day3 there 0as aC0hat do
they call them4Ca dancer3 a male stripper on the sho0: )e demonstrated his
dancing3 practically na9ed3 and the 0omen in the a.dience 0ere screaming and
clapping3 all e?cited: It 0as so .tterly 6.lgar:5 )e sh.ddered at the recollection
of it: 2-.t it*s not only that3 they re6eal all sorts of intimate se?.al details3
0ashing their dirty linen in p.blic: 6erything goes3 and they are so cas.al abo.t
their relationships3 abo.t their marriage: One 0oman said that she doesn*t lo6e
her man any more beca.se there is another man 0ho is m.ch nicer3 more
handsome3 and all the rest of it3 and she 0ill lea6e one and mo6e in 0ith the
other: Imagine it3 sirCto say this in p.blicL5
2#ell3 Krishna1i35 one lady said 0ith a gentle smile3 20omen no0 ha6e e@.al
rights and en1oy the same freedom that men ha6e been en1oying:5
2@.al to 0hom4 ,ree to do 0hat45 Krishnam.rti as9ed 0ith some passion:
2They say this is a free co.ntry: "nd e6erybody feels free to do 0hat they 0ant
Cto follo0 his or her pleas.re3 not gi6ing a damn abo.t anyone else: #itho.t
any respect3 0itho.t any sense of responsibility for their o0n actions or for
others3 0itho.t any 9ind of restraint:5 )e loo9ed at .s searchingly3 almost as if
acc.sing .s of a similar attit.de:
2It*s part of the o6erall c.lt.re3 of the ethos of "merica35 I s.ggested: )e
t.rned to0ard me and I felt a 0a6e of strong energy r.shing at me:
2No3 sir35 he said firmly3 2that*s not good eno.gh: "merica is setting the
standard for the rest of the 0orld: 6ery0here3 e6en in '.ssia and India3 they are
follo0ing her e?ample: The yo.nger people there imitate the dress3 the dance and
m.sicCyo. 9no03 roc9 Hn* roll3 the se? and films: #here 0ill it lead to4
6eryone for himself and to hell 0ith the otherL5
2It*s 0orld0ide decadence35 Theo said:
2Maybe the instit.tions of marriage and family are obsolete35 a lady
s.ggested:
" s.dden smile softened Krishnam.rti*s face and3 t.rning to all of .s3 he
as9ed 0ith eno.gh sincerity in his 6oice to ma9e it so.nd li9e a serio.s @.estion3
2!o 0hat happens 0hen one egotist marries another egotist45
I didn*t 9no0 ho0 to ta9e the @.estion3 0hether to consider it from a serio.s
or comical point of 6ie0: I 0as thin9ing of oneness3 the elimination of the
egotistic attit.de3 and so on: "fter se6eral tentati6e ans0ers had been re1ected3 he
offered the simple ans0er3 2T0o egotists:5
Cha%ter 19
K 7 T O T )
M 7 ! T ' 7 O , $ I , 4
Starters
Tossed green salad with
vinaigrette or tahini dressing.
$asta salad made with
finely cubed celery, carrots, peppers,
zucchini, pine nuts, broccoli flowers,
olives and sun#dried tomatoes.
Avocado salad with cubed tomatoes,
bell peppers, minced garlic,
cilantro, and lemon "uice.
Main Dishes
,a%ed potatoes stuffed with
onions and mushrooms.
<uiche prepared with grated zucchini,
cheese, eggs, parsley, onions, and celery.
Aubergine $roven=ale: cubed eggplant
in a tomato sauce.
Dessert
9alvah, made from sesame seeds and honey.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
%.ring the ne?t fe0 0ee9s3 the opport.nity to ha6e @.iet3 intimate l.nches 0ith
Krishnam.rti became rarer3 and the pace of acti6ity @.ic9ened: )e had se6eral
meetings 0ith the staff and parents of the school3 before an ed.cational
conference3 partially f.nded by a (:!: go6ernment program3 started on March MI:
" professor from !an -ernardino !tate (ni6ersity organiGed the three8day e6ent3
attended by almost thirty professors3 teachers and st.dents: Krishnam.rti
disc.ssed 0ith them the meaning of ed.cation3 the nat.re of 9no0ledge and
tho.ght3 the role of a teacher3 and the relationship bet0een what is3 insight and
right action: "ll fo.r sessions 0ere 6ideotaped by a professional camera team
and s.bse@.ently p.blished in boo9 form:
E
%.ring the follo0ing days there 0as a fl.rry of acti6ity3 as g.ests3 friends and
associates came and 0ent and often stayed for l.nch: "mong them 0ere %a6id
and !aral -ohm3 0ho again stayed in the g.est apartment for abo.t a month:
They had a hectic program of their o0n3 and %a6id*s spea9ing engagements
forced them to lea6e before the beginning of the O1ai Tal9s in early May: It 0as
the first time in fi6e years that they had missed them:
"t the end of March3 Krishnam.rti had se6eral 0ee9end dialog.es 0ith staff
and parents at +ine Cottage: These meetings no0 too9 place at ele6en o*cloc9 in
the morning3 0hich re@.ired that I prepare l.nch the pre6io.s e6ening and early
in the morning3 .nless I 0anted to forgo participating in the dialog.es: I
cherished these meetings 0ith Krishnam.rti: Their ill.minating bea.ty lay in the
f.ndamental simplicity 0ith 0hich he started the in@.iry into the significance of
ed.cation and li6ing: The @.estion he p.rs.ed o6er t0o meetings 0as3 H)o0
does one in@.ire4* It opened the door to an in6estigation as to ho0 o.r minds
act.ally e?amine a problem and e6ent.ally led to Hrespect* as the holistic attit.de
necessary to face the comple?ity of o.r li6es: 2'espect is listening35 he stated:
J
It 0as d.ring the late *7Is and early *;Is that Krishnam.rti became fascinated by
the comp.ter3 by the increasing importance it 0as ha6ing in h.man affairs3 and
its role in the de6elopment of the h.man mind: #hat partic.larly intrig.ed him
0as the comp.ter*s e?traordinary capacity to o.t8thin9 and o.t8perform its
creator in most mechanical mental tas9s: %.ring his tal9s and disc.ssions3 and
also at the l.nch table3 he often mentioned its positi6e impact on o.r li6es3
0itho.t neglecting to see its negati6e aspect:
To0ard the end of March3 an Indian friend of his3 "sit Chandmal3 0ho
pro6ided him 0ith a lot of information abo.t the f.nction and role of comp.ters3
6isited .s for se6eral days: On "pril 13 19;13 the -ohms ret.rned to O1ai from a
seminar they had attended in $os "ngeles: %.ring l.nch that day the
con6ersation3 primarily bet0een the three of them3 re6ol6ed aro.nd electronic
de6ices and artificial intelligence:
Krishnam.rti 0as saying to %a6id3 2!ir3 there is a great similarity bet0een the
brain and the comp.ter: -oth are based on memory3 are storeho.ses of
9no0ledge3 and f.nction according to programs: The comp.ter can do anything
the h.man brain can do: "nd it can do it a tho.sand times faster and more
acc.rately:5
"sit added3 2The <apanese are planning to create the fifth generation of
comp.ters3 0hich 0ill replicate the processes of the h.man brain: The
go6ernment is in6esting 6ast amo.nts of money in this pro1ect: There already are
some prototypes3 0hich can learn from the data inp.t they recei6e and modify
their o0n programs: "nd the geneticists are 0or9ing together 0ith the comp.ter
scientists3 researching the .se of the brain*s hydrogen and carbon molec.les3
instead of silicon3 in the ma9ing of comp.ters:5
%a6id 0as s9eptical and stated in a meas.red 0ay3 2I do.bt that any s.ch
lin9age of the organic and the machine 0ill lead to anything:5
Krishnam.rti p.rs.ed his line of @.estioning3 2!ir3 if the comp.ter ta9es o6er
most mechanical tas9s3 0hat is left for the h.man brain4 Maybe the comp.ter
0on*t be able to compose m.sic li9e MoGart and -eetho6en3 or 0rite poetry as
!ha9espeare and Keats did: It 0ill probably ne6er be able to loo9 at the stars and
appreciate the bea.ty of nat.re and the .ni6erse: -.t most other 0or9 0ill be
done by comp.ters and robots3 so 0hat 0ill happen to the h.man brain4 #ill it
atrophy45
I 0as p.GGled3 as 0ere se6eral other listeners aro.nd the l.nch table: 2#hat
do yo. mean by that3 sir45 I as9ed:
2There are really only t0o 0ays for the brain to mo6eA one is to0ard the
inside3 into itself3 into self8in@.iry and so on: #hich is 0hat 0e are tal9ing abo.t:
The other is to0ard the o.tsideA more entertainment3 di6ersion3 am.sement3
stim.lationCyo. 9no0 0hat*s happening: !o 0hat is left for the brain to do4
"lmost all of its f.nctions ha6e been ta9en o6er by the comp.ter: 'ight4 There is
a tremendo.s increase in the leis.re a6ailable to the h.man being: "nd .nless the
brain finds a totally different approach3 it 0ill atrophy li9e a m.scle that is not
being e?ercised any more: It 0ill simply 0ither a0ay3 shri6el .p: It*s happening
no03 sirL5
Not e6erybody at the table seemed 0illing to accept this 9ind of prediction
and @.ite a fe0 ob1ections 0ere raised: Krishnam.rti .s.ally en1oyed being
challenged and contin.ed 0ith calm certainty against a tide of s9epticismA 2The
comp.ter is not limited by borders3 nationalities and go6ernments3 as 0e are: It*s
beyond all those3 and it can o.tthin9 .s: It 0ill probably in6ent its o0n god3
0hich 0e 0ill 0orship: I m.st tell yo. a good 1o9e abo.t this: " man enters a
room f.ll of comp.ters and the scientist there tells him to as9 any @.estion he
may ha6e: !o the man as9s3 HIs there a god4* The scientist enters the @.estion3
and the comp.ters start to flash and b.GG: "fter a 0hile the ans0er comes3 HNo0
there is:*5
"s 0e 0ere la.ghing3 Krishnam.rti loo9ed at .s 0ith something li9e pity and
s9eptical am.sementA 27es3 sir3 face it:5 T.rning to0ard %a6id and "sit3 he said3
2It*s getting late: !hall 0e contin.e this con6ersation this afternoon45
They agreed3 and a fe0 ho.rs later3 at fo.r o*cloc9 that afternoon the three of
them met in the li6ing room of +ine Cottage: Tr.stees3 g.ests and staff 0ho had
the time and leis.re to attend 0ere there: The dialog.e foc.sed on the ne0
technology of comp.ters and 0hat it entailed for the f.t.re of h.manity: They
in@.ired into tho.ght and 9no0ledge3 intelligence and insight3 in relation to the
man8made machine: Krishnam.rti 0as intrig.ed by 6ario.s f.t.re aspects and
applications of comp.ters3 0hile %a6id appeared more s9eptical of some of the
rather far8fetched claims p.t forth by their Indian dialog.e partner: 6ent.ally3
tho.gh3 they conc.rred that the h.man brain had infinite capacityCsomething
the comp.ter lac9ed:
To0ard the end of their con6ersation3 Krishnam.rti repeated his 0arning that
the comp.ter 0o.ld create its o0n god and that 0e might become its sla6es3
.nless there 0as a radical transformation of the brain cells thro.gh insight: "nd
he reco.nted another story abo.t man3 god and comp.terA 2" person is praying to
&od: "nd there is a comp.ter in the ne?t room3 one of the highly ad6anced
s.per8comp.ters: "nd the comp.ter says3 H#ho are yo. praying to4 &od is
here:*5
J
On the first 0ee9end of "pril3 another conference3 organiGed by %a6id -ohm3
too9 place at +ine Cottage and ":/: On three consec.ti6e mornings3
Krishnam.rti met 0ith se6eral professors of sociology3 religion and philosophy3
a rabbi from Ne0 7or9 City3 and the poet Kenneth 'e?roth3 0ho li6ed in !anta
-arbara: I 0as familiar 0ith and admired his poetry3 and his elegant translations
of Oriental 6erse: I 0as3 therefore3 thrilled to meet him in person: It 0as a bit of a
shoc9 to see that he had diffic.lty 0al9ing 0ith a cane3 at times needing the
s.pport of his 0ife: -esides3 he 0as on a 6ery restricted special diet: %espite his
declining health3 ho0e6er3 he established a fine rapport 0ith Krishnam.rti d.ring
these disc.ssions: O)e died the follo0ing year:P
Thro.gho.t "pril3 there 0as an ab.ndance of meetings in6ol6ing
Krishnam.rti3 %a6id3 the tr.stees3 staff and parents3 and also bet0een %a6id and
the school staff: This led .p to the p.blic tal9s in early May3 0hich again
attracted tho.sands of people from all o6er the 0orldCaltho.gh3 of co.rse3
Californians 0ere in the ma1ority:
The day after the si?th and final tal9 of the series3 Krishnam.rti had an
important appointment in $os "ngeles: )e 0as to be inter6ie0ed by Keith
-er0ic9 at the N-C st.dios for a tele6ision tal9 sho0 called 2Odyssey5:
I 0as 1.st on my 0ay o6er to the office to hand in some bills3 0hen I noticed
fo.r people h.ddled in front of the open garage ne?t to the h.ge pepper tree:
They 0ere Krishnam.rti and Mary >:3 dressed .p for the trip to the metropolis3
and t0o tr.stees3 the $illiefelts: They appeared rather agitated and at a loss3 as
they e?citedly disc.ssed among themsel6es: I 0ent on into the office and settled
my acco.nts: ,i6e min.tes later3 on my 0ay bac9 to ":/:3 I noticed three of them
still standing there3 helplessly perple?ed3 0hile Krishnam.rti 0as impatiently
pacing bac9 and forth: My c.riosity aro.sed3 I stepped .p to them and said3 27o.
loo9 li9e yo.*re ha6ing a problem:5
Mary >: e?plained3 2The car 0on*t start3 and 0e ha6e to be in $os "ngeles by
fo.r8thirty:5
"ltho.gh .tterly ignorant of ho0 cars 0or93 I s.ggested a fe0 standard
starting problems: 2Co.ld it be the battery45 I as9ed:
2That*s the first thing 0e chec9ed35 she replied: 2-.t the lights are 0or9ing3
so it can*t be that:5
2%oes the engine t.rn o6er 0hen yo. t.rn the ignition 9ey45
2That*s the p.GGling thing: #hen one t.rns the 9ey3 nothing happens at all:
None of the dash board indicators come on:5
2Is there any so.nd45
2No so.nd at all3 not e6en a clic9:5
2$et me try one more time3 Mary35 Theo3 the 0hite8haired3 former (:N:
diplomat s.ggested:
!he handed him the 9ey3 and he 0ent into the garage to sit in the dri6er*s seat
of the grey diesel Mercedes:
Krishnam.rti3 in the meantime3 had 9ept on pacing abo.t3 loo9ing rather
pensi6ely absorbed3 as if confronted by a mystery3 the cl.e to 0hich he might
disco6er any moment: 2No3 it*s something else35 he anno.nced3 sha9ing his head
in p.GGled 0onderment: 2I*m s.re it*s something else:5
Theo stepped o.t of the garage and3 handing the 9eys bac9 to Mary >:3 stated
0ith a fr.strated shr.g3 2Nothing3 nothing at all:5
2!ho.ldn*t 0e perhaps call the Triple8" man45 his 0ife rna s.ggested: 2It
may ta9e a 0hile for him to come b.t that 0ay yo. co.ld still get there on time:5
2If it can be started at all35 Mary >: 0ondered3 then agreed3 2#ell3 yes3 I
s.ppose 0e*d better gi6e them a call:5
2I*ll do it from the office35 rna said3 energetically 0al9ing to0ard the office:
2I*ll .se my card n.mber:5
2#ell35 said Mary >:3 0ith a half resigned3 half cheerf.l tone3 tossing her
head .p0ard in a characteristic mo6ement3 2I might as 0ell gi6e it another try:5
"nd she 0al9ed o6er to the dri6er*s seat to try her l.c9:
In the meantime3 Krishnam.rti 0as deepening the mystery by 0al9ing in
circles3 e6idently loo9ing for the missing lin93 e6ery so often ma9ing a
mystifying prono.ncement: 2It m.st be something else3 something 0e aren*t
thin9ing of:5
Mary >: emerged from the garage3 indicating 0ith a helpless gest.re her
e6ident lac9 of s.ccess:
2It m.st be something elseK someho03 0e are not seeing the ob6io.s35
Krishnam.rti insisted3 as if there 0ere an e?traordinarily simple sol.tion that
none of them3 incl.ding himself3 0ere able to p.t their finger on:
2Can*t yo. simply .se the other car45 I as9ed3 pointing at the closed garage
door on the left:
2It*s not there35 Mary >: plainti6ely e?plained3 2it*s at the ser6ice station
being ser6iced:5
<.st at that moment rna reemerged from the office3 e?claiming3 as she
approached3 2It 0on*t be long: They*ll be here 0ithin ten min.tes:5 "nd3 holding
o.t her hand to0ard Mary >:3 she as9ed 0ith a short la.gh3 2#hy don*t yo. let
me gi6e it a try in the meantime45
Mary >: passed her the 9ey3 and she 0ent to try her l.c9:
+ondering the root ca.se of it all3 I hesitantly 6oiced my concl.sion3 2It m.st
be the electrical system:5
Nobody paid any attention to my s.ggestion3 and Krishnam.rti momentarily
stopped his intense peramb.lation to address Theo3 2It m.st be something else3
sirK something 6ery simple and ob6io.s3 0hich 0e don*t see: -.t 0hat co.ld it
be45
Comical images flashed before my mind*s eye3 as I frantically tried to sol6e
the problem by systematically going thro.gh all thin9able and .nthin9able
possibilities: $oo9ing at the t0o dignified older gentlemen conferring 0ith
earnest miens3 I had the image of !herloc9 )olmes and %r: #atson confronting
an enigma and st.dying the cl.es: Then the notion crossed my mind that this 0as
a sort of lotteryA tremendo.s fort.ne for the l.c9y one 0ho fig.red o.t the
ans0er to the p.GGle:
rna reappeared3 1o9ing 0ith an .nembarrassed la.gh3 2It 0on*t start for me3
either:5
2#hat is the possibility 0e didn*t thin9 of3 sir45 I heard Krishnam.rti as9
Theo:
The tho.ght of hitting the 1ac9pot crossed my mindA #hat if it 0o.ld start for
me4 I hesitantly approached Mary >: and as9ed3 2%o yo. mind if I gi6e it a try45
!he ga6e a short3 slightly e?asperated la.gh3 handing me the b.nch of 9eys3
2#hy not4 #e may as 0ell all try: #hat difference does it ma9e45
I loo9ed at the 9ey 0hich had the 0ell89no0n Mercedes symbol on it: "s I
0al9ed into the garage3 I 0as a0are of the empty space to the left3 0here
Krishnam.rti*s co.pQ 0as normally par9ed: I let myself sin9 into the leather
.pholstery of the car3 ta9ing note of the immac.late state of the interior after
many years of .se: I introd.ced the 9ey into the ignition and t.rned it: NothingC
no clic93 no signals3 no engine roar:
I got o.t and ret.rned the 9ey to Mary >:
Krishnam.rti 0as still harping on the same theme3 0ondering o.t lo.d3
2#hat co.ld it be4 #hat did 0e o6erloo94 !omething 6ery3 6ery simple:5
<.st then a lo.d noise came from the in6isible portion of the dri6e0ay: 2That
m.st be the a.tomobile cl.b35 rna 6ent.red:
#e t.rned aro.nd to 0atch the to08tr.c9 come into sight:
Mary >: 0as3 at that moment3 loo9ing alternately at the 9ey and something
else in her p.rse: <.st as the tr.c9 p.lled .p ne?t to .s3 she said in a @.iet3 firm
6oice3 2I thin9 I made a horrible mista9e: I*m sorry3 I thin9 0e*6e been .sing the
0rong 9ey:5
Krishnam.rti ga6e a s.dden3 clear la.gh3 in 0hich there 0as neither reproach
nor 1.dgment3 2"h3 that*s itL That*s 0hat 0e co.ldn*t thin9 of:5
Mary >: 0al9ed @.ic9ly o6er to the car 0ith the ne0ly disco6ered second 9ey
from her p.rse3 0hile Krishnam.rti la.ghed 1oyf.lly3 patting Theo on the
sho.lder3 0ho 1oined in 0ith him in a comradely fashion: rna3 mean0hile3
0al9ed o6er to the dri6er of the ser6ice tr.c9: 2I thin9 0e 1.st fo.nd the
problem35 she e?plained3 1.st as the engine of the Mercedes started firing: The
man3 e?hibiting no sign of e?asperation3 as if he 0as .sed to this type of thing3
said laconically3 2#ell3 I still need yo.r membership card:5
#hile this 0as being ta9en care of3 Mary >: bac9ed o.t the Mercedes3 1.st
barely able to mane.6er past the tr.c93 and Krishnam.rti s0iftly got in on the
passenger side: "s they dro6e off3 I 0al9ed do0n the narro0 trail thro.gh the
orange gro6e to the ":/: b.ildings: !.ddenly by myself3 the 0hole scene passed
before my in0ard eye and I co.ldn*t help b.t la.gh o.t lo.d 0ith my 0hole
being: #hat I had 1.st 0itnessed offered itself as an ill.stration of the 0ay 0e
approach many of the f.ndamental iss.es and con.ndr.ms of life: #e 9eep
trying the 0rong 9ey3 0hile the right one is there all the time3 e?tremely close at
hand3 m.ch closer at hand than one can possibly imagine:
T0o days later3 on May MI3 0e once more said goodbye to Krishnam.rti and
Mary >: beneath the pepper tree3 as they departed for -roc90ood +ar9 and the
distant shores of different continents:
J
"t the end of the school term in <.ne3 0e recei6ed startling ne0s thro.gh the
0orld0ide net0or9 that connected the 6ario.s Krishnam.rti !chools and
,o.ndationsA %a6id -ohm had s.ffered a massi6e heart attac9 in $ondon: #e
0ere shoc9ed to hear that he had had to .ndergo triple by8pass s.rgery and3 for
se6eral days after the operation3 ho6ered on the threshold bet0een life and death:
Krishnam.rti 0ent to see him before and after s.rgery3 trying to calm his old
friend*s ac.te apprehension of dying: Not s.rprisingly3 coming face to face 0ith
death 0as a shattering e?perience for him3 lea6ing a lasting imprint: It seemed to
deepen his sense of h.mility:
%a6id only grad.ally rec.perated from this ordeal and henceforth had to ta9e
great care3 both 0ith his diet and his daily acti6ities:
J
"part from gi6ing tal9s at the .s.al locations3 Krishnam.rti spo9e t0ice before
pac9ed a.diences in "msterdam in !eptember3 19;1: #hile he 0as p.rs.ing his
ann.al 0anderings aro.nd the globe3 0e at the Oa9 &ro6e !chool 0ere b.sily
in6ol6ed 0ith a gro0ing n.mber of st.dents3 that 0as approaching one h.ndred:
In addition to my reg.lar coo9ing and teaching responsibilities3 I also fo.nd
myself s.bstit.te teaching a !panish lang.age class for se6eral months3 since the
!panish teacher had .ne?pectedly left:
#hile 0restling 0ith the formidable challenge of interacting 0ith a 0hole
ne0 generation in the classroom3 I also concerned myself 0ith the @.estion of
transformation3 0hich Krishnam.rti had raised so often and so .rgently: I as9ed
myself3 H%o I really 0ant a complete3 radical transformation4 #hat are the
implications of that @.estion4 Is it a 6alid @.estion4 "nd3 if it is3 0hat is the point
of ans0ering that @.estion on the 6erbal le6el4 " mere 6erbal ans0er is
meaningless: The only tr.e ans0er is the act.al doing:*
I realiGed that the cr.cial element in transformation 0as time: It co.ld only
happen in the acti6e present3 in the act.al moment: "s soon as I meas.red3
compared3 pro1ected it into the f.t.re3 transformation 0as an ill.sion: Only 0hen
there 0as no gap in time bet0een obser6ation and action3 0hen it 0as
instantaneo.s3 co.ld change occ.r: It 0as in the field of the e6eryday and
ordinary3 as m.ch as at the roots of conscio.sness3 that it operated: -.t I also
9ne0 ho0 easy it 0as to decei6e oneself and in6ent the fancif.l notion of ha6ing
been transformed: #atching 0as e6erything:
J
"t the end of the school spring brea93 on ,ebr.ary 1E3 19;M3 Krishnam.rti
ret.rned to O1ai: )e appeared in fab.lo.s form3 raring to go: The follo0ing day
C#ashington*s -irthdayCthere 0as a l.ncheon for him and the tr.stees: )e
0anted to 9no0 ho0 the school had been doing in his absence3 especially since
the plans to set .p a high school Oin a b.ilding yet to be constr.ctedP 0ere 0ell
on their 0ay: ager to tal9 0ith the teachers3 he as9ed to meet 0ith .s at +ine
Cottage the follo0ing afternoon:
The theme 0hich he raised d.ring the disc.ssion 0as Hrespect and disrespect*:
2%o the st.dents respect yo.3 the teachers and ad.lts45 he as9ed .s: 2"nd do they
ha6e a feeling of respect to0ard nat.re3 to0ard the earth45 It 0as a theme that
0as to dominate o.r meetings and dialog.es for months to come:
J
That 0ee9end3 Krishnam.rti chec9ed into a hospital in $os "ngeles to .ndergo a
hernia operation: Mary >: accompanied and stayed 0ith him d.ring the fo.r days
of his rec.peration at the (:C:$:": Medical Center: #hen he ret.rned to +ine
Cottage on "sh #ednesday3 ,ebr.ary ME3 the small3 faithf.l H0elcoming
committee* 0as 0aiting for his arri6al: It 0as painf.l for .s to see him in s.ch
discomfort: 6er so slo0ly he emerged from the Mercedes3 leaning on the door
to steady himself: "lmost in6ol.ntarily I stepped closer and reached o.t to0ard
him to lend some s.pport: -.t he 0a6ed me a0ay and said 6ery firmly3 2No3 sir3
I ha6e to do this myself:5 #ith that he inched his 0ay3 step by step3 .p the
flagstone path to0ard +ine Cottage: "nother teacher and I 0al9ed slo0ly behind
him3 in case he sho.ld st.mble or slip:
)e too9 more than t0o 0ee9s to rec.perate f.lly3 and it 0asn*t .ntil
!at.rday3 March 1F3 that 0e res.med ha6ing o.r reg.lar l.nches at ":/: That
afternoon he had a disc.ssion 0ith %r: <acob Needleman from !an ,rancisco
!tate (ni6ersity and his Indian friend3 "sit Chandmal3 0ho 9ept him informed
abo.t the latest de6elopments in the comp.ter 0orld: The follo0ing Monday3 as
the rains 9ept po.ring do0n3 0e had a small b.t e?traordinary l.nch3 that
incl.ded "sit3 the tr.stees3 and the ":/: residents: The con6ersation centered
aro.nd comp.ters3 and artificial and h.man intelligence: "t one point3
Krishnam.rti referred directly to Hhis* intelligence3 ma9ing clear he 0asn*t
claiming it as his o0n by specifying3 2It*s neither mine3 nor yo.rsK it*s
intelligence:5 )e didn*t thin9 of intelligence in the con6entional senseCas
memory3 the acc.m.lation of 9no0ledge3 or the cle6er calc.lati6e capacityCb.t
rather as the simple3 impersonal force of obser6ation that operated in the acti6e
present and 0as able to f.nction in the most comple? field: )e as9ed3 2Is K*s
brain 1.st a frea9 occ.rrence3 or can other h.mans also ha6e s.ch a brain45
One of the lady tr.stees 0ondered3 2)o0 0o.ld yo. describe that brain3
Krishna1i45
2It*s 6acant3 simple3 .npreocc.pied3 b.t also alert and 6ery 0atchf.l: It
doesn*t record any personal h.rt or psychological in1.ry35 he e?plained3 as all of
.s listened3 f.ll of attention:
6ent.ally the con6ersation mo6ed to goodness and e6il: Krishnam.rti
maintained3 2There is a reser6oir of goodness3 and it has no relationship
0hatsoe6er 0ith e6il:5
I had some diffic.lty grasping 0hat he meant and s.ggested3 26il3 then3 is an
ill.sion45
2No3 sir: 6il e?ists3 e6idently35 he insisted: 2-.t it cannot to.ch the otherK it
has no relationship 0ith goodness:5 "s I 0as on the point of contin.ing 0ith my
@.estions3 he stopped me3 saying3 2Kindly listen to this3 sir: !imply listen:5
-.t3 despite caref.lly listening3 I fo.nd it diffic.lt to .nderstand 0hat for him
0as so simple:
The rains contin.ed to fall and it 0as getting noticeably colder: %.ring the
con6ersation the ne?t day3 Krishnam.rti started 0ondering abo.t modern
teenagers3 abo.t teenage se? and pregnancies: !.ddenly he as9ed the director3
0ho 0as sitting across from him3 2"re there any prodigies among yo.r
st.dents45
2%o yo. mean child prodigies3 Krishna1i45 the director as9ed:
27es: $i9e MoGart or -eetho6en35 he replied: 2#ho else 0as a child prodigy4
Maybe "ldo.s ).?ley: #as K a prodigy4 %id the boy ha6e some e?traordinary
talent45 "fter a moment*s deliberation3 he en.merated se6eral points 0hich
seemed to s.ggest other0ise: 2)e 0as dreamy3 6ag.e3 almost moronic3 co.ldn*t
retain a thing: "ll he 0as interested in 0as sports and mechanical things3 ta9ing a
0atch apart and p.tting it bac9 together again3 and later disassembling and
reassembling a car engine:5
" lady s.ggested3 2Maybe it 0as this 6ag.eness3 Krishna1i3 this emptiness of
mind that 0as an early indication of 0hat later manifested as the geni.s of KCa
talent3 not in a special field3 b.t of a different order:5
Krishnam.rti 0as hesitant to accept s.ch a s.ggestion 0itho.t caref.l
e?amination: It 0as only after lengthy deliberation that he allo0ed3 2#ell3
perhaps K co.ld3 in a certain sense3 be considered a prodigy:5
%.ring l.nch the ne?t day3 0ith the rain still streaming do0n3 0e tal9ed abo.t
some of Krishnam.rti*s personal traits: Not ha6ing any emotional attachment to
himself3 he did not mind that 0e as9ed @.estions abo.t him3 as long as it 0as an
impersonal in6estigation into the phenomenon called K:
2K is 6ery simple35 he said3 2there is a sense of innocence and tr.st abo.t
him: )e is open and 0itho.t s.spicion3 e6en to0ards strangers: I m.st tell yo. a
story abo.t 0hen I 0as staying at Mrs: >imbalist*s ho.se at Malib. some years
ago: In the afternoon3 I 0o.ld ta9e a 0al9 on the beach by the +acific Ocean:
One day3 a man 0hom I had ne6er met before approached and as9ed me 0hether
he might accompany me: I said3 H"ll right3 come along:* "nd together 0e strolled
along the beach3 not saying 6ery m.ch3 1.st loo9ing at the 0a6es and the
bea.tif.l scenery: Then he as9ed 0hether 0e co.ld sit do0n together for a
moment: I said3 H"ll right:* !o 0e sat do0n on a dead tree tr.n93 a piece of
drift0ood: #e sat @.ietly for a 0hile3 loo9ing o.t o6er the 6ast bl.e e?panse:
Then he as9ed me if he co.ld hold my hand: !o I ga6e him my hand3 and 0e sat
there holding hands for se6eral moments:5
The small gro.p of people at the table 0ere @.ite spellbo.nd by his .n.s.al
story: It had the effect of a thriller on me3 0ith its sense of danger and se?.al
.ndertones: "t the same time3 I 0as astonished at his nai6etQ in placing himself
in a possibly haGardo.s sit.ation: -.t he did not seem to ta9e note of o.r sense of
apprehension and contin.ed3 2"fter 0e had been sitting there @.ietly3 holding
hands3 and loo9ing at the lo6ely scenery3 he as9ed me if he co.ld gi6e me a 9iss:5
I in6ol.ntarily held my breath:
2!o I said3 H"ll right3* and he ga6e me a pec9 on the chee9:5
The sense of s.spense intensified as 0e3 his listeners3 as9ed 0ordlessly3
H#hat ne?t4*
2That*s all35 he concl.ded3 ta9ing e6erybody in at one glance:
!omeho0 I felt s.spended in the thin air of my o0n imagination: Thro0n
bac9 .pon myself3 I @.ietly mar6eled at his innocent and g.ileless openness: $i9e
a child3 free of fear and distr.st3 he seemed to be ready to be e6eryone*s friend:
#hen he arri6ed for l.nch the ne?t day3 I noticed that he 0as still 0al9ing
rather slo0ly and caref.lly: I held the screen door open for him3 and after o.r
initial greeting he immediately proceeded to tell me3 2No more desserts3 no more
s0eetsCfinished:5
I 0as shoc9ed: 2-.t 0hy3 Krishna1i3 0hat happened45
27esterday 0e 0ent to the hospital here for another chec98.pCyo. 9no03
beca.se of the operation: They tested my blood and fo.nd that the blood s.gar
le6el contin.es to be too high: !o I ha6e to c.t o.t all s0eets3 s.gar3 honey3 and
so on:5
2Oh3 that*s too bad35 I said regretf.lly: 2#hat abo.t carrot 1.ice4 Can yo.
still ta9e that45 ,or some time he had en1oyed ha6ing freshly s@.eeGed carrot
1.ice 0ith his meal:
2That*s o.t3 too:5
2"nd yams3 s0eet corn3 and ra0 or coo9ed carrots45
I 0as eager to find o.t all aspects of his ne0 diet3 slightly alarmed at the
prospect of e?tensi6e food restrictions:
2/egetables are all right3 e6en ra0 carrots35 he e?plained: 2I m.st only a6oid
high concentrations of s.gar3 s.ch as are contained in carrot 1.ice:5
2#hat abo.t fr.it 1.ices45 I contin.ed3 ma9ing mental notes: 2O.t35 he
replied 0ith easy finality:
2Can yo. still eat fr.it3 li9e apples3 pears and so on45
2!paringlyCmaybe one or t0o per day3 that*s all:5
,or a moment a 0a6e of sympathy rose in me3 as I recalled ho0 m.ch he
en1oyed a s0eet treat3 or a spoonf.l of ice cream for dessert: -.t any 9ind of self8
pity or nostalgic regret 0as far from him3 and he s.ddenly loo9ed at me
incisi6ely and said3 2Of co.rse3 sir3 yo. m.st contin.e to ma9e desserts for the
others: They sho.ldn*t be c.t short beca.se I can*t ha6e any s0eets any more: It
0o.ld be ridic.lo.s to s.b1ect them to my dietary restrictions:5
The so6ereign ease 0ith 0hich he co.ld gi6e .p things on a practical le6el
0as matched3 if not s.rpassed3 by his ability to end mental and psychological
in6ol6ements from one moment to the ne?tCas if no time 0ere in6ol6ed in
ta9ing a decision b.t only the immediacy of perception: It 0as a capacity that
astonished me3 a creat.re attached to pleas.res3 sensations and entertainments3
0ho had to str.ggle to gi6e .p so8called bad habits: This inner freedom3
ho0e6er3 did not e?cl.de personal loyalty3 nor a s.btle3 immo6able firmness in
adhering to his co.rse of action:
J
arly on the morning of March ME3 Krishnam.rti and Mary >: left for Ne0 7or9
City3 0here he 0as to gi6e t0o tal9s at Carnegie )all the follo0ing 0ee9end:
The ne?t day3 in po.ring rain3 %a6id and !aral -ohm arri6ed at "rya /ihara:
"ltho.gh he had f.lly reco6ered from his operation3 %a6id had lost m.ch 0eight
and loo9ed pale and mar9ed by his brief br.sh 0ith death:
Cha%ter 1:
T ) N ' & 7
O , M + T I N ! !
Starters
(i*ed salad with lettuce greens,
sprouts and red cabbage,
with vinaigrette or tahini dressing.
Tomato salad with fresh mozzarella and basil.
Tabouli made from cous#cous,
parsley, fresh mint, currants,
sun#dried tomatoes, and pine nuts.
9ummus dip of garbanzo beans
served with pita bread.
Main Dishes
Saffron rice.
0ggplant $armigiana, made from
broiled eggplant slices powdered
with cinnamon, in a rich tomato sauce
and slices of mozzarella and $armesan cheese.
1hole zucchini, briefly ba%ed to perfection.
Dessert
Three different types of ice cream.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
Krishnam.rti and Mary >: ret.rned from Ne0 7or9 City on "pril 1: %.ring
l.nch on the follo0ing day he enth.siastically told .s abo.t the large cro0ds that
had filled the hall to o6erflo0ing: )e 0as amaGed that tic9ets for his tal9s 0ere
being scalped in the street at rather steep prices:
I 0as ser6ing myself a helping of dessertCgiant se@.oia stra0berries 0ith
ginger creamC0hen I loo9ed o.t of the 0indo0 of the corner ser6ery and
noticed a great horned o0l sitting on an .pper branch of the tree ne?t to my
cottage: !e6eral of the large o0ls had been nesting in the trees at ":/:3 spending
the daytime ho.rs high .p amidst the dangling foliage of the 0hite8bar9ed lemon
e.calypt.s trees aro.nd the par9ing lot: "t d.s9 and into the night one co.ld
often hear their lo08toned3 mello0 hooting:
#ith s.dden e?citement I tho.ght that Krishnam.rti might li9e to loo9 at the
0inged creat.re: )e 0as e?tremely fond of animals and often told of his
enco.nters 0ith bob cats3 bears and tigers in the 0ild: It 0as e?tremely rare that I
had a chance of sho0ing him something 0ild and bea.tif.l3 so I r.shed bac9 into
the dining room and3 0itho.t m.ch ado3 breathlessly anno.nced to him3 2!ir3
come and loo93 there is a great horned o0l .p in the tree:5
#itho.t any hesitation he got .p and 0al9ed into the small room 0ith me: No
one else at the table seemed e?cited at the prospect of seeing a li6e o0l: I eagerly
stood ne?t to him and pointed .p into the tree: 2There3 Krishna1i3 on the second3
no3 the third branch to the left: Can yo. see it45
)e 0as peering .p 0here I 0as pointing b.t had diffic.lty discerning the
.nobtr.si6e shape in its camo.flage pl.mage: T.rning his head this 0ay and that3
he finally said3 2I can*t see it3 Michael: #here is it45
,or a moment I 0as afraid that my disco6ery might fly a0ay before I co.ld
share it 0ith him3 so I said3 2?c.se me3 Krishna1i3 b.t it may be easier to see if
0e step o.tside for a moment:5
)e didn*t ob1ect: #e 0al9ed thro.gh the 9itchen3 o.t the door and aro.nd the
corner3 .ntil 0e stood ten yards from the smooth3 0hite tr.n9: $oo9ing .p at the
strands of crescent lea6es gently s0aying in the breeGe3 I sa0 that the o0l 0as
still in the same place: In fact3 it had ta9en note of .s and 0as going thro.gh the
strangely endearing3 characteristic o0l motions of p.lling its ro.nd3 flat face into
its sho.lders and mo6ing its head rhythmically from side to side3 as if 0anting to
chec9 .s o.t: Its horn li9e protr.sions and large3 ro.nd eyes 0ere clearly 6isible:
#ith s.dden e?citement I pointed at it3 0hispering3 2Can yo. see it3 sir3 can yo.
see it4 It*s mo6ing its head bac9 and forth:5
Krishnam.rti stood there3 slender and fragile3 li9e a little boy3 0ith his head
thro0n bac93 and s@.inted into the bright afternoon light3 shading his eyes 0ith
his left hand: "ll at once he e?claimed softly3 2"h yes3 no0 I see it:5
I felt relief and a sense of .ne?pected e?.berance: There 0as a space of silent
and intense 0atching as 0e stood there in the s.nlight: The bird 0as 0atching .s
in ret.rn:
2It*s really @.ite big3 isn*t it45 he remar9ed after a 0hile:
2It m.st ha6e an enormo.s 0ingspan:5
!e6eral moments of silent obser6ation passed before he grabbed my arm 0ith
a characteristic gest.re and led me to0ard the door3 saying3 2"ll right3 sir:5
'eentering the dining room I fo.nd the other g.ests still sitting chatting: I had
the odd sensation that3 for a moment3 I had stepped into another 0orld of bright
colors and disco6ery and 0as no0 bac9 in the narro0er space of familiarity:
J
The rains contin.ed .nabated thro.gho.t the follo0ing 0ee9: Krishnam.rti met
0ith the school staff fo.r consec.ti6e times3 tal9ing abo.t the tr.st 0e all needed
to ha6e to be able to b.ild the school he en6isioned:
On the 0ee9end of "pril 1B1;3 a professional tele6ision cre0 came to film
fo.r dialog.es bet0een Krishnam.rti3 %a6id -ohm3 %r: <ohn )idley3 a local
psychiatrist3 and %r: '.pert !heldra9e3 a -ritish biologist3 0ho had recently
de6eloped a challenging ne0 theory: )e named it Hmorphic resonance*3
proposing that members of a common species3 li9e mon9eys3 or h.mans3 shared
learning and any significant ne0 disco6ery thro.gh Hmorpho8genetic fields*3
biological channels of transmission3 e6en tho.gh the indi6id.al members li6ed
far apart and had no physical contact 0ith one another: The fo.r disc.ssions at
+ine Cottage3 prod.ced on 6ideos as The 8ature o$ the !ind3 0ere sponsored by
a pri6ate fo.ndation that f.nded mental health pro1ects:
J
-y this time3 late "pril3 the rain had finally stopped and 0e 0ere again en1oying
bright3 clear days: %.ring one l.nch I ser6ed home8made fett.cini 0ith tomato8
sa.ce and +armesan cheese3 a garbanGo bean dish3 and steamed articho9es 0ith a
simple mayonnaise and m.stard sa.ce: Krishnam.rti 0as generally fond of
Italian and +ro6enWal c.isine3 and I had3 therefore3 ass.med that he li9ed
articho9es: !ince 0e li6ed close to #atson6ille3 the so8called articho9e capital of
the 0orld3 0e 0ere blessed 0ith a plentif.l s.pply of the Hroyal thistle*: $arge3
gorgeo.s specimens 0ere a6ailable at bargain prices at the local mar9ets: I had
de6eloped a fondness for the fleshy lea6es and ser6ed them reg.larly3 going
thro.gh the laborio.s and sometimes painf.l process of trimming each single
thorn protr.ding from the leaf top:
I 0as in the middle of en1oying the heart 0hen I noticed Krishnam.rti
s9eptically st.dying an articho9e leaf in his hands: )e said to the person across
from him3 2It*s really a terrible bore to tear all these lea6es apart: "nd there is so
little on them:5 The lady made a noise as if to conc.r 0ith his critical assessment
of the articho9e sit.ation: I3 ho0e6er3 felt momentarily st.nned into s.dden
disill.sionment: 'eco6ering from my speechlessness3 I tried to spea9 .p in
defense of the flo0er heads3 2-.t Krishna1i3 they are not only delicio.s b.t also
an e?cellent so.rce of 6itamin -81M:5
)e sho0ed himself .nimpressed by my claim and said3 in a slightly ironical
tone3 2It ta9es fore6er to eat them:5
2I tho.ght yo. li9ed them3 sir35 I said plainti6ely:
!ome moments later3 he t.rned to0ard me and as9ed3 2#hat*s the ne0s3 sir45
It felt li9e a 0elcome di6ersion from my articho9e disappointment3 and I
started to recapit.late the most recent de6elopments in the ,al9lands #ar
bet0een -ritain and "rgentina: I concl.ded it by @.oting the great "rgentinian
0riter3 <orge $.is -orges3 0hose brilliant assessment of the deadly conflict I had
1.st read in a ne0s magaGineA 2It*s li9e t0o bald men fighting o6er a comb:5
Krishnam.rti bro9e into delighted la.ghter: 2That*s 6ery goodCt0o bald
men fighting o6er a combL I m.st remember that:5
"s the con6ersation 0ent on3 it centered aro.nd h.man conflict3 especially
0ar and ho0 it affected the collecti6e and indi6id.al conscio.sness: %a6id -ohm
characteriGed 0ar as organiGed conflict3 res.lting in a form of p.blic mania3
0hich had its roots in the belief that one*s o0n co.ntry 0as s.perior and al0ays
right: "s an ill.stration he cited the opening 0ords of the former &erman
national anthem3 HFeutschland Iber Alles* O&ermany abo6e allP3 and the saying3
HMy co.ntry right or 0rong*3 0hich e?emplified the po0erf.l effect of nationalist
slogans on indi6id.al thin9ing: Krishnam.rti compared it to a form of obsession3
0hich totally corr.pted the ethos and beha6ior of a society: )e proceeded to
reco.nt an e6ent from his life:
2It 0as d.ring the 0ar years 0hen I 0as here in California: I 0as 0al9ing
do0n the main street in !anta -arbara3 0hen a 0oman approached me 0ith a bo?
in her hand: !he said her fiancQ had 1.st sent her a gift from the front3 some0here
in the +acific3 and she 0anted to sho0 it me: !he opened the bo?3 and I recoiled:
There 0as a shri6eled8.p h.man head in it: !he as9ed me if I 0anted to b.y it as
so.6enir: Imagine it3 sirL5
6erybody at the table 0as horrified3 imagining the biGarre scene: 'eferring
bac9 to the recent dialog.es on mental health3 se6eral people started tal9ing
abo.t abnormal states of mind3 s.ch as the control of the mental fac.lties by
demons and other strange psychic forces:
One lady as9ed Krishnam.rti3 2%o yo. thin9 that a conscio.sness can be
possessed by demonic forces4 I don*t mean madness or hall.cinations3 b.t other
entities:5
"fter a moment*s deliberation he replied3 2May I tell yo. a story4 It 0as @.ite
a fe0 years ago in $ondon: I 0as staying at a friend*s ho.se in the s.b.rbs3 and
one afternoon I 0as loo9ing o.t of the 0indo0 0hen a 'olls8'oyce dro6e .p the
dri6e0ay: " cha.ffe.r got o.t and opened the door for a lady3 made8.p and
elegantly dressed: !he rang the doorbell: I 0as alone in the ho.se and ans0ered
the door: The lady introd.ced herself and as9ed if she co.ld tal9 0ith me in
pri6ateK it 0as a matter of some .rgency: !o I as9ed her into the ho.se: !he came
straight to the point and told me that she 0as a 6ery s.ccessf.l3 high8class call
girl: !he had made a fort.ne sleeping 0ith h.ndreds of men of the highest social
standingCaristocrats3 politicians and b.sinessmen: !i? months earlier one of her
lo6ers3 0hom she adored abo6e all others3 had left her for good: !he told me all
of this 6ery matter8of8factly3 6ery calmly: One e6ening she 0as alone in her
ho.se3 sitting in front of the fireplace: !taring into the flames3 she playf.lly
started to con1.re .p the spirit of her former lo6er in her mind: !he 0as shoc9ed
0hen s.ddenly a phantom materialiGed o.t of the fire3 ass.ming the form of her
former lo6er: !he 0ent on to tell me that she had then se? 0ith this phantom: !he
had fo.nd it e?citing and pleas.rable3 and so the same thing happened on the
follo0ing nights3 b.t only 0hen she 0as by herself: It 0ent on for months: -.t
the phantom became more and more po0erf.l and started to gain control o6er
her: It told her 0hat to do3 and its 0ishes became more demanding3 telling her
e?actly 0hen they 0o.ld meet again3 and so on and on: !he 0as possessed by the
phantom3 and it r.led her life: !he 0anted to p.t a stop to the 0hole thing b.t
sa0 no 0ay o.t: !he didn*t 0ant to cons.lt any psychologist or priest or any
other professional: !o she discreetly as9ed some of her friends in high places if
they 9ne0 anyone tr.st0orthy 0ho co.ld ad6ise her in a most sensiti6e3 pri6ate
matter: O.r name came .p3 and after attending one or t0o of the tal9s3 she felt
confident that I might help her in her c.rio.s predicament: !he hadn*t told a so.l
abo.t her fantastic e?periencesK I 0as the first to 9no0 abo.t them: !he 0as close
to tears as she told her story3 e6idently in deep distress: I agreed to help her on
condition that she do e?actly as I told her: !he promised: I as9ed her to lea6e one
of the rings she 0as 0earing and ret.rn after three days: %.ring that time she 0as
not to ha6e any se?3 nor to remain alone in her ho.se at night3 so the phantom
co.ldn*t contact her: #hen she left3 she offered a large s.m of money for o.r
help3 b.t I did not accept it: I placed her diamond ring on the mantelpiece abo6e
the fireplace: That*s 0here it remained for the ne?t three days: I didn*t to.ch it or
do anything 0ith it: Three days later3 the lady arri6ed in her 'olls8'oyce: I
ret.rned the ring to her and told her to 0ear it at all times3 res.me her normal life
and see 0hat 0o.ld happen: " 0ee9 later3 she called me: !he 0as o6er1oyed: The
phantom had been e?pelled: 6en 0hen she 0as alone at night in front of the fire3
the phantom did not ma9e its appearance: It seemed to be banned once and for
all: !he than9ed me prof.sely3 again offering money3 0hich3 of co.rse3 I co.ld
not accept:5
#e 0ere spellbo.nd in o.r seats3 listening to his biGarre tale: It had s.ch a
to.ch of the magical and s.pernat.ral abo.t it that it seemed to spring from the
fantasy 0orld of A ThousandBAndB(ne 8i#hts3 rather than from his lips: There
0as an inter6al of st.nned silence3 d.ring 0hich one co.ld practically hear o.r
internal strings of cred.lity being stretched to their limits: Then3 as if on
command3 e6eryone e?citedly started tal9ing at the same time3 re6ie0ing the
details of the eerie story 0ith one another:
Krishnam.rti 0as @.ietly and 0ith calm am.sement obser6ing the impact of
his story on .s: Then3 raising one hand3 he called o.t3 @.ic9ly recapt.ring
e6eryone*s attention3 2<.st a min.te: That isn*t the end of the story: There is still
something to come3 a final t0ist:5 )e smiled: 2" fe0 months later3 0e 0ere
dining o.t in a resta.rant in the city3 and this same lady 0as there at another table
0ith some friends: !he recogniGed and greeted me from a distance: #hen I 0as
by myself for a moment3 she h.rried o6er and said she had something important
to tell me: !he apologiGed prof.sely for ta9ing my time and than9ed me once
again for my help in her distress3 then proceeded to tell me that3 as time 0ent by3
she had started to feel bored and lonelyK 1.st a month ago she again con1.red .p
the phantom3 1.st for f.n3 and no0 the 0hole thing 0as happening all o6er:::5
)is face ass.med an ironic e?pression as3 0ith raised eyebro0s3 he st.dio.sly
e?amined each face for its reaction to the d?nouement of the story: There 0as a
0ide spectr.m of responses3 ranging from o.tright indignation3 do.bt and
incred.lity3 to am.sement: My o0n reaction bordered on 0ild la.ghter3 that I felt
0elling .p 0ithin myself b.t restrained: I 0ondered if there might not be an
astonishing parallel bet0een the call girl*s state of mind and that of most of .s
here: #e might claim to 0ant o.r conscio.sness radically changed3 o.r li6es
selfless and 0itho.t conflict3 b.t 0hat 0o.ld happen if3 by magic and 0itho.t
any effort on o.r part3 0e 0ere transformed into f.ller and more complete h.man
beings3 0ith alert b.t empty minds4 #o.ld 0e not clamor for the safe3
acc.stomed ha6en of o.r old self3 that 0ell80orn garment of memories3 0hich
had become .s3 0hich 0as .s4 #o.ld 0e not sc.rry bac9 .nder the sheltering
roof of the familiar home3 rather than stand alone in the 6astness of the open
s9ies4 +ondering this3 I had to admit that I didn*t really 9no0 the ans0er: !o I
as9ed Krishnam.rti3 2"nd 0hat happened after that45
)e ga6e an e?pressi6e shr.g: 2#ell3 nothing::: it 1.st 0ent on3 I s.ppose:5
)e did not pro6ide any f.rther e?planation3 and 0e 0ere left to o.r o0n
de6ices to ma9e head or tail of this .n.s.al anecdote: !oon after that 0e cleared
the table and 0ent bac9 to 0hat 0e normally did:
J
" fe0 days later !aral -ohm informed me that there 0o.ld be an additional g.est
for l.nchA he had been a st.dent friend of %a6id*s at (C -er9eley: -oth became
e?ponents of @.ant.m mechanics and had at one time ta.ght in -raGil: )is name
0as 'ichard ,eynman and he ta.ght at the California Instit.te of Technology at
+asadena: "mong other things3 he 0as a Nobel $a.reate in physics3 ha6ing
recei6ed the prestigio.s priGe in 19B= for 0or9ing o.t a ne0 0ay to treat
@.ant.m electrodynamics and also for his e?emplary and highly entertaining
lect.res on R.ant.m Theory3 0hich 0ere later p.blished as a te?tboo9 on the
s.b1ect:
=
!aral mentioned discreetly that he had been diagnosed as ha6ing a
terminal form of cancer:
)e 0as in his BI*s3 a disting.ished8loo9ing3 handsome man3 a fe0 years
yo.nger than %a6id: )e 0as of slim3 medi.m b.ild3 0ith an e?pressi6e face3 fine
feat.res3 a high forehead3 and f.ll3 s0ept8bac93 light bro0n hair: )e 0as dressed
0ith chic in cas.al Californian style3 e?.ding an air of easy3 nonchalant self8
confidence: )e clearly 0as a scientific celebrity of the highest order:
I had prepared a tomato salad 0ith fresh moGGarella and basil3 a h.mm.s dip
of garbanGo beans3 tabo.li3 ser6ed 0ith pita bread3 saffron rice3 eggplant
+armigiana and ba9ed G.cchini3 follo0ed by ice cream: There 0ere abo.t si?teen
people for l.nch that day:
In his .s.al modest 0ay3 %a6id introd.ced his friend to Krishnam.rti: They
politely shoo9 hands and e?changed greetings: -.t it 0as clear that %r: ,eynman
0as primarily present beca.se he 0as 6isiting his old college friend3 %a6id3 and
less o.t of interest in Krishnam.rti and his 0or9: Krishnam.rti 0as @.ietly
0atching the g.ests ser6ing themsel6es: #hen %r: ,eynman approached3 he
directed him to the chair at the head of the table3 saying3 2+lease sit here3 sir3 so
yo. can be ne?t to %r: -ohm:5
#hile %a6id placed himself on %r: ,eynman*s left3 Krishnam.rti too9 his
.s.al seat3 the first place on the right3 across from him: I sat three chairs a0ay: I
had been e?pecting that at one point or another a li6ely con6ersation 0o.ld
e6ol6e bet0een Krishnam.rti and %r: ,eynman3 or bet0een the three of them:
-.t nothing of the sort seemed to materialiGe: !ome of the teachers3 ho0e6er3
0ere eager to p.t @.estions to the ill.strio.s g.est and to ga.ge his thin9ing on
6ario.s topics:
Krishnam.rti appeared rather @.iet and 0ithdra0n: I had seldom seen him so
reticent d.ring a meal: 6en so3 he 0as most intently 0atching 0hat 0as going
on: %r: ,eynman seemed to be .sed to being the center of attention: #itho.t any
sense of .nd.e assertion3 he en1oyed the role of elo@.ent raconte.r: I had 1.st
been 0ondering 0hether he had any interest in Krishnam.rti and his teaching
0hen one of the teachers as9ed circ.mspectly3 2%o yo. thin93 sir3 that
philosophy has any role in ed.cation45
%r: ,eynman ans0ered s0iftly3 2I ha6e ne6er been interested in philosophy: I
don*t 9no0 anything abo.t it3 nor can I say anything abo.t the s.b1ect:5
The @.estioner 0asn*t easily deterred and contin.ed by foc.sing on @.estions
of psychology and ed.cation: !e6eral others 1oined in3 and %r: ,eynman
e6idently felt more at ease 0ith these topics: )e began to tal9 abo.t his family3
ho0 he interacted 0ith his children3 and so on: &rad.ally3 he ca.ght e6eryone*s
attention as he reminisced abo.t his o0n .pbringing3 abo.t his nat.re 0al9s 0ith
his father3 0ho pointed o.t to him the small and great 0onders of the earth3
e?plaining 6ario.s phenomena by in6enting imaginary 0ords: #e 0ere all
listening spellbo.nd to his fascinating and am.sing narration: One co.ld tell that
one 0as in the presence of a gifted teacher and entertaining story teller3 a brilliant
scientist3 and possibly a 0onderf.l person:
Krishnam.rti had been silently follo0ing the animated story3 and one co.ld
sense the respect in his @.iet 0atching: There 0as a reciprocity bet0een him and
%r: ,eynman3 as they 9ept a ca.tio.s and respectf.l distance from each otherCa
polite stand8off: Clearly3 %r: ,eynman 0as here to 6isit his friend %a6id -ohm3
nothing more3 and Krishnam.rti f.lly respected and left it at that:
"fter l.nch3 Krishnam.rti remar9ed to one of the teachers 0ho accompanied
him on his 0ay to +ine Cottage3 2%id yo. notice it3 sir3 abo.t %r: ,eynman45
The yo.ng man 0as p.GGled and as9ed3 2I*m sorry3 Krishna1i3 I don*t
.nderstand 0hat yo. mean:5
2)e 0as a 6ery .nhappy man35 Krishnam.rti said ca.tio.sly: 2I 0atched him
caref.lly:5
The teacher 0as mystified by this assessment b.t didn*t p.rs.e the iss.e3
since he had to go to the office3 0hile Krishnam.rti 0ent on to +ine Cottage: It
might 0ell ha6e been an acc.rate obser6ation3 especially if one ta9es into
acco.nt %r: ,eynman*s terminal illness:
!aral -ohm later told me that %a6id and %r: ,eynman had spent most of the
rest of the afternoon h.ddled aro.nd the coffee table in their apartment3
con6ersing in a 9ind of Hscientese*3 as she p.t it3 comm.nicating thro.gh a code
of mathematical e@.ations3 form.las3 and other rather enigmatic terms3
comprehensible only to a fe0 highly specialiGed initiates of @.ant.m mechanic
lore:
" fe0 years later3 %r: ,eynman became nationally famo.s on t0o co.ntsA as
the brilliant chairman of the commission of in@.iry into the disaster that befell
the (:!: space sh.ttle Challen#er in 19;B3 0hich shortly after ta9e8off e?ploded3
9illing all se6en astrona.ts on boardK and as the a.thor of a best8selling
a.tobiography3 0hich re6ealed his great h.mor and s9ill at story8telling: More
recently3 I happened to 0atch a tele6ision doc.mentary in the No6a series3 aired
on the +.blic -roadcasting !ystem3 0hich feat.red a li6ely inter6ie0 of %r:
,eynman: To my s.rprise3 he 0as reco.nting 6erbatim the same stories abo.t his
childhood and family that he had told .s at the ":/: l.nch table:
%r: 'ichard ,eynman died in 19;;:
J
#e 0ere glad that the rains had stopped in time for the soggy gro.nd to dry .p
before the start of the p.blic tal9s on May 1: "part from reg.lar dialog.e
meetings 0ith Krishnam.rti at +ine Cottage3 e6erybody had their hands f.ll 0ith
preparations for the t0o80ee9 e6ent:
%.ring a l.ncheon in mid0ee9 that 0as attended primarily by Hthe reg.lars*
and a fe0 tr.stees from o6erseas3 0e began tal9ing abo.t ancient &reece and its
prodigio.s s.ccess in handing do0n its basic ideas and instit.tions to o.r
present8day 0orldA its political3 c.lt.ral and scientific infl.ence 0as e6ery0here:
I 9ne0 that apart from Chartres Cathedral3 the !hi6a sc.lpt.re on lephanta
Island3 and the 1in#ed 2ictor" o$ Damothrace in the $o.6re3 Krishnam.rti most
admired the ancient citadel of "thens3 the "cropolis3 0ith its fab.lo.s col.mned
temple3 the +arthenon: )e had 6isited the birthplace of democracy se6eral times
in the 19FI*s3 and again in 19=E and 19=B3 e?pressing himself e?.berantly abo.t
these architect.ral masterpieces: )e had e6en declared himself to be in lo6e 0ith
the marble stat.e of the &oddess of <.stice3 Themis:
" fe0 days earlier I had read a ne0spaper article abo.t the destr.cti6e toll
0hich car e?ha.sts and other ind.strial poll.tion 0as e?acting on the t0o8
tho.sand8year8old marble relics in the congested "ttic metropolis: Thin9ing this
might be an interesting piece of information3 I began by saying to Krishnam.rti3
0ho 0as sitting ne?t to me3 2The acid rain and s.lf.r o?idants are @.ic9ly
eroding these marble mon.ments 0hich ha6e s.r6i6ed for almost three tho.sand
years: In less than a fe0 decades all of these irreplaceable masterpieces 0ill be:::5
)e t.rned to0ard me as I 0as tal9ing3 and a pained e?pression crept into his
face: !.ddenly he interr.pted me 0ith a tone of tremendo.s h.rt3 2No3 sir3 please3
don*t tal9 abo.t it: 7o. don*t 9no0::: it*s too::: it*s too:::5
)e didn*t complete the sentence b.t let it trail off into .nspecified agony: "ll
at once I felt horribly a090ard3 almost as if I had transgressed by ha6ing
broached this painf.l s.b1ect: ,or an instant3 I act.ally tho.ght some of the
people across the table 0ere eyeing me 0ith silent3 1.dgmental reproach: #hat
had I done4 I felt li9e apologiGing altho.gh3 on second tho.ghts3 it seemed rather
l.dicro.s to do so: I shot a f.rti6e3 side0ays glance at Krishnam.rti: )e 0as
@.ietly che0ing a0ay3 0ith half8closed eyelids3 0itho.t any 6isible sign of pain:
I breathed a silent sigh of reliefCI had let my innate g.ilt conditioning get the
better of me:
J
-efore 0e 9ne0 it3 the tal9s had started: %.ring the second and fo.rth @.estion8
and8ans0er meetings he bro.ght .p an old theme3 deli6ering it 0ith a force that
hit all the 0ay home: 2#hy hasn*t man changed45 he as9ed 0ith tremendo.s
passion3 restating the same @.estion more directly a 0ee9 later3 2#hy ha6en*t
yo. changed45
There 0as no ans0erC.nless one 0anted to rationaliGe: One co.ld only hold
the @.estion 0ithin oneself and ponder it3 li6e 0ith it:
%.ring the 0ee9end tal9s he addressed iss.es s.ch as Horder3 fear and
tho.ght*3 H9no0ledge3 death and lo6e*3 and3 finally3 Hthe religio.s life and
meditation*:
On ,riday3 May M13 another seasonal cycle of li6ing 0ith Krishnam.rti ended3
as he and Mary >: departed for ngland:
Cha%ter 1;
T ) & " T ) ' I N &
O , " $ $ N ' & 7
Starters
Tossed green salad with vinaigrette
or creamy mustard dressing.
An assortment of raw vegetables: sliced
bell peppers, zucchini, celery,
mushrooms, grated red cabbage,
carrots, and beets.
Steamed articho%es, served with
a mayonnaise#mustard sauce.
Main Dishes
Steamed +uinoa, garnished with
parsley, raisins and pine nuts.
Azu%i beans, prepared with
onions and soy sauce.
,a%ed %abocha s+uash.
Dessert
.resh raspberries,
served in a sauce of cream and cognac
with whipped cream on the side.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
%.ring the follo0ing months3 the Oa9 &ro6e staff contin.ed to 0restle 0ith
p.tting into action its HIntent*Cthe statement composed by Krishnam.rti in
197=3 0hich declared that the p.rpose of the school 0as Hto bring abo.t a radical
transformation in the conscio.sness of man9ind*:
On a personal le6el3 I 9ept 0restling primarily 0ith @.estions of relationship
and se? and became absorbed in the nitty8gritty of day8to8day li6ing: "ll the
0hile3 tho.gh3 I contin.ed to 0rite poetry and to e?amine my life in the
e?traordinary mirror of Krishnam.rti*s teaching: My blemishes had not
disappeared3 I had not changed at the roots of my conscio.sness3 and I felt that
all I co.ld do 0as 0atch my limitations and shortcomings 0itho.t 1.dgment3
effort or choice: In that there 0as a great freedom3 0hich I also felt in my daily
contact 0ith the 0ild nat.re of the 6alley and mo.ntains:
J
Krishnam.rti3 in the meantime3 follo0ed his reg.lar itinerary from .rope to
India: The t0o special e6ents d.ring this time 0ere t0o tal9s he ga6e at the
-arbican Center in $ondon in <.ne3 and fo.r tal9s in Calc.tta in No6ember3
19;M:
J
The pre6io.s 0ee9 0e had had a series of destr.cti6e rainstorms: No0 the air
0as clear and .npoll.ted3 and the land 0as 0ashed clean and shiningK it 0as
,ebr.ary 93 19;F3 the day of Krishnam.rti*s ret.rn to O1ai: Mary >:3 0ho had
been here since last No6ember3 dro6e to $"V to pic9 him .p on his arri6al from
$ondon )eathro0:
Ten of .s 0ere 0aiting beneath the pepper tree: I felt a great sense of 1oy
0elling .p in me as the gray Mercedes sedan came into sight and p.lled .p in
front of the garage: Krishnam.rti3 dressed in his elegant tra6eling clothes3 got o.t
of the car: )e loo9ed fragile and thin and a little bit tired3 as he greeted each one
of .s in t.rn: T.rning to loo9 at the .nd.lating s9yline of the hills3 ta9ing in the
bea.ty of the land 0ith one s0eeping glance3 he e?claimed after an inter6al of
silence3 2#hat a co.ntry this isL !o rich and bea.tif.l3 so 6astL5
The follo0ing day3 a Th.rsday3 0e had a small l.ncheon 0ith only eight
people: "s 0e 0ere amiably con6ersing abo.t Krishnam.rti*s time in India and
his 1o.rney to California3 I too9 the opport.nity to as9 him3 2)a6e yo. heard any
good 1o9es recently3 sir45
)e 0as rela?ed and in the right mood to respond3 2"ll right3 sir: There are
three good 1o9es I*6e heard recently: In the first one3 &od has 1.st completed the
creation of the 0orld3 0ith its oceans and continents and all the creat.res3
incl.ding the h.mans: "s he s.r6eys his 0or93 an angel points o.t that there is
one small spot in the center of .rope that*s been left blan9 and empty: The $ord
says3 HI m.st ha6e o6erloo9ed that spot: #hat shall 0e do 0ith it4* "nd the angel
ans0ers3 HIf I may s.ggest it3 $ord3 0hy don*t yo. create a land of mil9 and
honey3 called !0itGerlandC0ith sno08pea9ed mo.ntains3 streams3 forests and
green meado0s3 0here co0s graGe that prod.ce the best mil9 in the 0orld4* The
$ord replies3 HThat so.nds good: "nd 0hat abo.t the h.mans there4* "nd the
angel s.ggests3 H#hy not ma9e them clean3 orderly3 and hard80or9ing3 0ith the
greatest respect for money4* "nd the $ord says3 H!o be it:* "nd so it 0as done:
"fter some time the $ord 0ants to see 0hat he has created and goes do0n to
arth: )e 0al9s among the mo.ntains3 en1oying the bea.ty of the scenery: "fter
a 0hile he comes to a small 6illage3 6ery clean and orderly: "s the day is getting
hotter3 he feels a bit thirsty: !o he 0al9s .p to one of the cafQs 0ith o.tdoor
tables and chairs: The o0ner immediately recogniGes him and comes r.nning3
greeting him 0ith great respect3 HO $ord3 please sit do0n: It*s an e?traordinary
honor that 7o. 6isit o.r small to0n and my h.mble cafQ: Is there anything3
anything3 that 0e can do for 7o.4* The $ord is pleased and says3 H-y <o6e3 I
noticed yo.r splendid co0s graGing o.t there: &i6e me a tall glass of cold3 fresh
mil9:* HImmediately3 O $ord:* "nd the man trots off and ret.rns 0ith a tall glass
of fresh3 cold mil9 0ith foam on the top3 and places it in front of the $ord: )e
drin9s it do0n 0ith m.ch en1oyment: )e*s 1.st getting .p from the table 0hen
the o0ner comes r.nning and3 0ith a respectf.l bo03 places a small plate 0ith a
strip of paper in front of him: The $ord loo9s at it and as9s the man3 H#hat is
that4* The o0ner bo0s again and e?plains3 H#ith all d.e respect3 O $ord3 that is
the bill:*5
#e la.ghed o.t lo.d at the 1o9e and the 0ay he told it3 ho0 he enacted 0ith
small gest.res and facial e?pressions the roles of the $ord and the bistro o0ner:
One lady as9ed3 2%o yo. ma9e .p all yo.r 1o9es45
)e replied3 2Oh no3 not at all: !omebody tells them to me and sometimes I
remember themCif they are good 1o9es: I only in6ented one 1o9e3 and that 0as a
long time ago: The follo0ing story I 0as told in India: 7o. may ha6e heard of
-irla3 the ind.strialist: )e*s from Calc.tta3 tremendo.sly rich3 and for many
years his company has had a 6irt.al monopoly on passenger cars b.ilt in India3
0ith the "mbassador: They are not 6ery 0ell8made 6ehicles3 not 6ery
comfortable3 and they often brea9 do0n: !o -irla dies and goes to hea6en: !t:
+eter meets him at the +early &ates and as9s3 H#ho are yo.3 please4* HI*m -irla3*
he replies3 slightly annoyed at not being recogniGed: !t: +eter goes thro.gh his
list of names: H-C-C-irla: I*m sorry3 yo.r name is not on the list: I don*t thin9
yo. can enter hea6en:* -irla protests angrily3 HI*m -irla3 the ind.strialist: I m.st
be on that list: $oo9 again: -CiCrClCa:* !t: +eter is ta9en abac9 by the man*s
arrogance and says3 HI don*t 9no0 anybody by that name:* H-y <o6e3* -irla
e?claims3 He6erybody 9no0s meCe6erybody: "nd yo.*re trying to tell me:::*
+eter says politely b.t firmly3 H+lease3 sir3 don*t get e?cited: That 0on*t help yo.
.p here: 7o.r name is not on the list: I*6e ne6er heard of yo.3 and I*m afraid that
yo. 0on*t be allo0ed into hea6en:* ,or a moment -irla is cr.shed and falls into
a morose silence: !t: +eter feels pity for him and says3 H-.t perhaps yo. can
pro6ide .s 0ith a good reason 0hy 0e sho.ld let yo. in:* -irla immediately
per9s .p and says3 HI ha6e helped the ca.se of many religions by spending
millions .pon millions for the b.ilding of temples3 mos@.es3 and ch.rches:* !t:
+eter replies3 HThat*s @.ite nat.ral3 all rich people do thatA they 0ant to become
famo.s and sa6e paying ta?es: -.t that hardly @.alifies yo. to enter the hea6enly
paradise:* -y this time -irla is feeling @.ite fr.strated and sho.ts3 HNo0 loo9
here3 my dear chap3 there is nobody in the 0hole of India3 maybe in the 0hole
0orld3 0ho has done so m.ch for his 0or9ers and their families3 b.ilt h.ndreds
of hospitals3 homes for orphans and the aged3 schools and .ni6ersities:* !t: +eter
says3 HI*m not s.re 0hether that co.nts either: "fter all3 these people ha6e gi6en
their energy3 their labor3 their li6es3 so that yo. co.ld become rich: No3 noCnone
of that matters in hea6en: #hat 0e as93 0hich is the real @.estionA 0hat ha6e yo.
e6er done for &od4* -irla frantically searches his memory and finally brightens
.p3 saying 0ith satisfaction3 H#ell3 sir3 for decades 0e ha6e been man.fact.ring
the famo.s "mbassador car: "nd3 0hene6er somebody opens the door to get into
their car3 they e?claim3 HO my godL*5
#e 0ere still la.ghing 0hen Krishnam.rti began narrating the third of his
ne0 1o9es: 2"n "merican m.ltimillionaire 0ho li6es in ngland 0ants to
become a proper3 perfect nglish gentleman: !o he goes to ).ntsman on !a6ile
'o0 and has a doGen of the best s.its made for him3 complete 0ith <a@.et ties
and topcoats: Then he as9s the tailor to refer him to the best shoema9er: H#hy3
sir3 1.st ne?t door3 there is $oeb*s:* )e goes there3 has his feet meas.red3 and
orders a doGen of the most bea.tif.l3 handmade shoes: #hen he as9s for the best
place to b.y a cane and .mbrella3 they send him ne?t door: +roceeding from one
shop to the ne?t3 he is grad.ally o.tfitted 0ith the best of e6erything3 loo9ing
e6ery inch the perfect nglish gentleman: The ne?t time he goes to see his tailor
for some alterations3 he has his 'olls8'oyce p.ll .p in front of the shop: The
tailor3 0ith 0hom he has become good friendsCthey*re in the same cl.b and so
onCimmediately notices that he is in a horrible state3 6ery depressed and
gloomy: !o the tailor as9s the "merican3 H#hat*s the matter3 sir4 7o. loo9 as if
something dreadf.l has 1.st happened:* H7es3 I really feel terrible: I can*t get o6er
it3* sighs the rich man: H-.t 0hy3 sir4* e?claims the tailor: H7o.*6e got the 6ery
best of e6erythingA e?cellent car3 best clothes and shoes3 .mbrella3 glo6es3 et
cetera: 7o. loo9 e6ery inch the perfect nglish gentleman: )o0 co.ld yo.
possibly feel depressed4* -y no03 the "merican is almost in tears: H-eca.se
0e*6e lost India:*5
6erybody ro.nd the l.nch table 0as in tears3 they 0ere la.ghing so hard: It
0asn*t only the 1o9e and the 0ay he had told it that 0ere so hilario.s3 b.t also the
fact that he had en.merated the 6ery stores on !a6ile 'o0 that he himself
fre@.ented for his clothes and shoes:
The follo0ing !.nday 0as the beginning of the Chinese Ne0 7ear3 the 7ear
of the +ig3 and si?teen people came for l.nch: #e had &ree9 salad3 a carrot and
ginger salad3 co.sco.s 0ith toasted almonds3 ratato.ille3 fried tof. 0ith green
onions and parsley3 a selection of cheeses 0ith fr.it and garlic bread3 and daten.t
bread and ice cream for dessert:
"fter some initial small tal93 Krishnam.rti started a serio.s con6ersation by
as9ing the director3 2#hy do children at a certain point in gro0ing .p t.rn into
Hmonsters*4 7o. 9no0 0hat I meanA cr.el3 inconsiderate3 selfish3 and so on:5
One person as9ed3 2%o yo. thin9 that happens 0ith all children45
2More or less35 Krishnam.rti replied3 2maybe more so 0ith boys than 0ith
girls:5
2It*s also c.lt.rally modified35 the director said: 2In India3 the children are so
0ell8beha6ed3 obedient and respectf.l3 especially 0hen they are yo.nger:5
Krishnam.rti conc.rred3 27es3 it*s really @.ite remar9able: I say to them3
H$et*s sit still for fi6e min.tes3* and immediately they all ass.me a cross8legged
post.re3 close their eyes and are absol.tely still for fi6e min.tes: Co.ld yo. get
"merican children to do that45
" lady tr.stee protested3 2-.t Krishna1i3 it*s a totally different c.lt.re: The
children in India are conditioned from early on to act and sit in a certain 0ay3 to
obey: It*s really @.ite different here:5
" teacher s.ggested3 2)ere they are too e?cited and ner6o.s: Maybe it*s the
diet and the entertainment3 all the 1.n9 food and the constant peer press.re:5
Krishnam.rti didn*t disagree 0ith any of 0hat 0as being said b.t p.rs.ed it
f.rther by as9ing3 2Can one sho0 them responsibility3 sir4 7o. 9no0 0hat I
mean by that 0ord Hresponsibility*4 Can one gi6e them responsibility45
The teacher as9ed3 2%o yo. propose3 Krishna1i3 to gi6e the st.dent a specific
responsibilityCfor an animal3 for a small space in the classroom4 Is that 0hat
yo. mean45
2No3 sir: Not 1.st responsibility for a tree3 an animal3 a plant3 and so on: "ny
specific e?ample is too narro0: Can one con6ey to him or her a sense of
responsibility for e6erythingCfor the earth3 for nat.re3 for all of man9ind4 %o
yo. .nderstand45
2-.t ho0 co.ld one do that4 That*s an a0f.lly large responsibility for a child
Call of h.manity:5
27o. see3 sir3 yo. are ma9ing a problem of it: 7o. are as9ing Hho0*C0hich
is the method: %on*t ma9e another problem of it: It*s notA I don*t ha6e
responsibility3 ho0 do I get it4 -.t ratherA listen in silence3 obser6e3 0atchCcan
yo. sho0 that to the st.dent45
2I thin9 of responsibility as something that I*m acco.ntable for:5
2That*s 0hat is .s.ally meant by that 0ord: It also implies d.ty3 a b.rden3
and so on: #e mean something @.ite different by responsibilityCnamely3 the
ability to respond: To respond ade@.ately to a challenge3 to 0hat is happening:
"nd to be able to do that one has to listen3 obser6e3 be choicelessly a0are of the
0hole sit.ation:5
'esponsibility became one of the main themes o6er the ne?t t0o months3
0hen Krishnam.rti met 0ith the staff nineteen times at +ine Cottage: "part from
as9ing .s repeatedly 0hy 0e didn*t change3 he e?plored the @.estions of
conf.sion and disorder3 ca.se and effect3 and finally as9ed3 2#hat is a sharp3 a
good mind45 This @.estion led to an in@.iry into the brain3 conscio.sness3 mind
and intelligence:
This year Krishnam.rti seemed to be f.ll of an ine?ha.stible energy: More
than e6er3 he 0as b.rning to con6ey his insight3 meeting fre@.ently 0ith staff and
parents3 0ith tr.stees and committees3 in addition to his .n.s.ally b.sy p.blic
spea9ing sched.le: It 0as also aro.nd this time that Krishnam.rti started a
remar9able diary3 0hich3 .nli9e pre6io.s noteboo9s3 he did not 0rite do0n b.t
dictated into a cassette recorder 0hile still in bed early in the morning: These
lyrical reflections on nat.re and the h.man mind 0ere later transcribed and
p.blished as Krishnamurti to .imsel$:
J
"t the end of March3 %r: and Mrs: <onas !al9 from the !al9 Instit.te in !an
%iego 6isited .s: %.ring dinner at ":/: the in6entor of the polio 6accine began
an animated con6ersation 0ith Krishnam.rti abo.t the tro.bled state of the 0orld
and 0hat co.ld be done abo.t it: #hat is compassion3 0hat is enlightenment3 and
ho0 can they affect the 0orld4 0ere some of the @.estions they raised: "ltho.gh
they agreed on a n.mber of iss.es3 their 6ie0s did not entirely con6erge: The
follo0ing day3 !.nday3 March M73 they had a 6ideotaped dialog.e in the more
formal setting of +ine Cottage:
There 0as no l.nch at ":/: for the ne?t t0o days3 since Mary >: and the
$illiefelts had gone 0ith Krishnam.rti to their la0yer in O?nard: )e 0as gi6ing
his deposition in a la0s.it filed by the ,o.ndation against 'a1agopal: This 0as
one in a series of la0s.its and co.nter8la0s.its3 0hich had been going on since
19B9: The ,o.ndation 0as see9ing to reco6er 0ritten and other recorded material
by Krishnam.rti3 as 0ell as assets gi6en to him for his 0or93 from the K T '
,o.ndation3 controlled by 'a1agopal:
"fter spending most of the day at the la0yer*s office3 the fo.r of them had
s.pper at ":/:Ca rare occasion: %.ring the meal they 0ere still preocc.pied by
the lengthy legal proceedings3 con6ersing abo.t 6ario.s aspects of the deposition:
Krishnam.rti 0as 6isibly strained3 ha6ing been s.b1ected to 6ery hostile
@.estioning by the other party*s attorneys: In order to a6oid f.rther harassment
and a possible appearance in co.rt3 it 0as decided to 0ithdra0 the la0s.it3 an
action formaliGed on "pril 1:
J
In the late afternoon of March FI3 %a6id and !aral -ohm arri6ed at +ine Cottage:
Krishnam.rti made a point of 1oining se6eral of .s beneath the pepper tree to
0elcome the professor and his 0ife: )e greeted his old friend 0ith affectionate
care3 in@.iring after their 0elfare and ma9ing s.re that they felt at home in the
.pstairs g.est apartment: %a6id loo9ed pale and e?ha.sted from the long
1o.rney3 0hile !aral appeared as b.bbly as e6er:
The follo0ing day3 0hen Krishnam.rti met the school staff for a disc.ssion in
the bright li6ing room of +ine Cottage3 he politely as9ed %r: -ohm to sit ne?t to
him3 offering him the seat of honor: %a6id 0as 6ery @.iet and spo9e only a fe0
times3 0hen addressed directly:
This year there 0as a pec.liar pattern to the comings and goings of
Krishnam.rti and %a6id -ohmA as soon as one arri6ed3 the other promptly
departed: ,i6e days after the -ohms* arri6al3 Krishnam.rti and Mary >: too9 off
for Ne0 7or9 City3 0here he 0as to gi6e t0o tal9s at the ,elt ,or.m3 Madison
!@.are &arden3 on "pril 9 and 1I: %.ring the l.ncheon prior to his depart.re3 he
.rged %a6id to ha6e dialog.e meetings 0ith the school staff3 a re@.est he gladly
complied 0ith:
"t l.nch t0o days after his ret.rn from Ne0 7or9 City3 Krishnam.rti briefly
described the tal9s3 0hich had been attended by o6er fo.r tho.sand people3 and
the se6eral inter6ie0s he had gi6en to ne0spapers and magaGines: -.t his mind
0as concerned 0ith the school3 and he soon del6ed into disc.ssing 0hat type of
school he en6isioned3 emphasiGing that he 0anted a Hstrong* school3 0hich 0o.ld
last for h.ndreds of years:
%.ring Monday l.nch3 Krishnam.rti as9ed %a6id and !aral3 0ho 0ere to
tra6el to the !an ,rancisco -ay "rea on #ednesday3 abo.t the seminar they 0ere
going to participate in: It 0as going to ta9e place at a Christian College3 0ith a
n.mber of Christians parta9ing: Krishnam.rti as9ed in a general manner3 2)o0
0ill %r: -ohm tal9 to the Christians abo.t the psyche45
#hile o.tside ab.ndant rains po.red do0n from dar98grey s9ies3 e6eryone
p.rs.ed the @.estion 0ith m.ch light8hearted la.ghter3 altho.gh in the end 0e
0ere rather short on concrete ad6ice: In the afternoon3 Krishnam.rti met 0ith the
staff at +ine Cottage and forcef.lly raised the @.estion of 0hat constit.ted a
Hstrong* school: It 0as based on learning and thin9ing together and implied the
c.lti6ation of c.riosity and do.bt:
"t l.nch the follo0ing day3 %a6id raised his o0n @.estion3 0hich he p.t to
Krishnam.rtiA 2#hat is the relationship bet0een 0atching3 a0areness3 choiceless
a0areness3 concentration3 attention and insight45 "n .ne?pected3 f.lly fledged
dialog.e ens.ed3 primarily bet0een Krishnam.rti and %a6id: It 0as a
con6ersation f.ll of s.btlety3 fine differentiations3 and s.dden clarity: 6eryone
at the table 0as spellbo.nd3 0hile the rains 9ept streaming do0n 0itho.t
abeyance: " fe0 bra6e spirits tried to 1oin in the dialog.e by offering their
respecti6e 6ie0s: -.t the s.btle force of the flo0 of meaning seemed to be too
.nremitting for anyone b.t the t0o main players to 9eep pace 0ith: Most of .s
listened @.ietly and intently:
More than an ho.r had passed since e6eryone at the table had finished eating
their dessert: 6ery so often3 somebody too9 a sip of 0ater or 1.iceK other0ise3
only the deepening e?ploration into insight seemed to matter: It 0as as if
discharges of energy flashed bac9 and forth bet0een the poles of these t0o
brilliant minds3 ill.minating the entire field aro.nd them: !.ddenly there 0as a
pa.se: " deep sense of silence permeated the room3 and the only so.nd that co.ld
be heard 0as the noise of the rain po.nding the 0ooden dec9s and roofs: Then3
0ith a 6erbal handsha9e3 they agreed3 2Only insight acts:5
"s 0e rose 0ith @.iet 0onder from the table3 one of the tr.stees plainti6ely
remar9ed3 2#e really sho.ld ha6e taped this con6ersation:5
J
On the day of the -ohms* depart.re for the -ay "rea3 Krishnam.rti met 0ith the
staff and as9ed 0hat role entertainment played in the life of the child and in o.r
li6es: 2Can yo. sho0 the child abo.t conditioning4 Not only his conditioning3
b.t also learn abo.t yo.r conditioning at the same time45
"fter e?ploring the separation of life into 0or9 and leis.re3 he as9ed one of
his decepti6ely simple @.estions3 0hich had the impact of a deep probe into one*s
conscio.sness: 2%o yo. really lo6e 0hat yo. are doing45
(nless one really lo6ed 0hat one 0as doing3 ho0 co.ld one possibly help the
child3 ed.cate the child4
J
" 0ee9 later the -ohms ret.rned from the seminar in the -ay "rea3 only to see
Krishnam.rti and Mary >: depart for !an ,rancisco the ne?t day: )e 0as to gi6e
t0o tal9s at the Masonic ".ditori.m o6er the 0ee9end: !ince I too 0as going to
dri6e .p north on the follo0ing day to attend these tal9s3 I apologiGed to the
-ohms for not being able to loo9 after them d.ring their time in O1ai:
J
It 0as a great thrill for me to 6isit !an ,rancisco3 a city 0here I had li6ed for
se6eral years in the late BI*s3 and to again hear Krishnam.rti spea9 at the
Masonic )all: %.ring the second tal93 on !.nday3 May 13 I 0as deeply mo6ed as
he e6o9ed the image of t0o friends 0al9ing side by side along a 0ooded path in
dappled s.nlight3 tal9ing o6er together the great @.estions of lifeCbirth and
death3 1oy and sorro03 peace and conflict3 freedom and lo6e: )e proceeded to
point o.t that the 0ords Hfriendship* and Hfreedom* 0ere closely relatedA their
common root meant Hlo6e*:
J
"fter his ret.rn to O1ai3 Krishnam.rti and %a6id spent fi6e more days together3
before %a6id and !aral left on May ; for Toronto3 0here they had an
engagement: This meant they missed the O1ai Tal9s3 0hich started the follo0ing
0ee9end:
"n ho.r after their depart.re 0e had a meeting 0ith Krishnam.rti at +ine
Cottage3 d.ring 0hich he as9ed .s3 2#hat is action45 !tep by step 0e 0ent into
the 0hole comple? @.estion of action and fo.nd that action based on tho.ght3
memory and 9no0ledgeCclearly the great ma1ority of o.r e6eryday actionsC
0as limited: "nd limitation implied di6ision and3 therefore3 conflict: %i6ision
0as conflict3 a simple la0:
-eca.se of Krishnam.rti*s ad6anced ageChe 0as ;;Cthe 19;F p.blic tal9s
at O1ai 0ere shortened from three to t0o 0ee9ends3 so that there 0ere no0 fo.r
instead of si? tal9s and t0o instead of fo.r @.estion8and8ans0er meetings: -.t
one co.ld certainly not discern any diminishing of energy in him3 as he mo.nted
the platform amidst the gro6e of li6e oa9s to address the three tho.sand people
gathered in front of him: On the first !.nday3 he described ho0 he 0as 0al9ing
0ith the a.dience3 as 0ith a friend3 along a s.n8dappled trail3 e?ploring earnestly
and 0itho.t barriers the serio.s @.estions that persisted thro.gho.t one*s life:
%.ring the first @.estion8and8ans0er meeting3 on T.esday3 May 173 he defined
the 0ord Hg.r.*3 0hich so often 0as misapplied to charlatans and self8styled
sa6iors: Ma9ing resol.tely clear that he 0as not a g.r. and had no follo0ers or
disciples3 he e?plained that Hg.r.* deri6ed from a !ans9rit 0ord meaning Hhea6y3
0eighty3 gra6e*:
2!o a g.r. is someone 0ho points o.t and dispels ill.sions3 and thereby
eradicates ignorance35 he said3 2not someone 0ho imposes his ignorance on
others:5
!ome moments later he e?panded on the meaning of the 0ord Hmantra*3
0hich originated from the !ans9rit for Hto meas.re3 thin9* and came to signify Hto
ponder o6er not becoming3 and to abandon all self8centered acti6ities*: )e
emphasiGed that this 0as the tr.e meaning of a mantraCnot the cheap3
e?ploitati6e practice of selling for a lot of money a syllable3 0hich3 they claimed3
prod.ced a @.iet state of mind:
27o. might as 0ell repeat the 0ord HCoca8Cola* o6er and o6er again35 he
@.ipped amidst la.ghter from the a.dience: 2It*ll ha6e the same effect of
mesmeriGing yo.:5
,or many years3 Krishnam.rti had been lashing o.t at the commercial
e?ploitation of the h.man @.est for tr.th: "ny religio.s practice and teaching for
financial gain 0as anathema to him: Tr.th 0as not a commodity for sale3 nor
co.ld it e6er be monopoliGed3 organiGed or o0ned by anyone: -eca.se of this3 he
0as adamant in insisting that no fee 0as charged for attending his tal9s and
dialog.es3 nor for any of his p.blic or pri6ate inter6ie0s: The only charge e6er
made by the ,o.ndation for a tal9 0as 0hen the cost of renting a p.blic facility3
s.ch as the Masonic Temple3 the !anta Monica Ci6ic ".ditori.m3 or Carnegie
)all needed to be defrayed thro.gh the sale of tic9ets:
Krishnam.rti*s .nambig.o.s insistence on free attendance at his tal9s
act.ally posed something of a problem for the tr.stees and financial officers of
the ,o.ndation: -oth the ,o.ndation and the !chool 0ere 6ery dependent on the
donations of people interested in s.pporting Krishnam.rti*s 0or9: "nd3 altho.gh
the Tal9s at the Oa9 &ro6e too9 place on home territory3 they still inc.rred
considerable e?pendit.re: T0o people 0ith slotted bo?es 0ere posted at each
entrance to the Oa9 &ro6e3 re@.esting a donation of three dollars for the tal9:
#hoe6er ref.sed to pay co.ld still enter3 b.t had to end.re the disappro6ing loo9
of the collectors: %espite this and the re@.ests for donations deli6ered by a
tr.stee prior to a tal93 the income seldom3 if e6er3 co6ered the costs:
"n .n.s.al thing happened at the end of the first @.estion8and8ans0er
meeting: <.st as he 0as lea6ing the Oa9 &ro6e3 Krishnam.rti 0as ser6ed a legal
0rit against him and the other tr.stees of the ,o.ndation: 'a1agopal had initiated
another la0s.it3 e6en tho.gh the ,o.ndation*s la0s.it had been 0ithdra0n:
J
Thro.gho.t the tal9s there 0ere many g.ests3 incl.ding se6eral tr.stees from
o6erseas3 0ho reg.larly came to l.nch 0ith Krishnam.rti at ":/: )ence3 it 0as a
6ery b.sy time for me in the 9itchen3 and 0e had li6ely get8togethers aro.nd the
l.nch table:
%.ring one of the mid80ee9 l.ncheons the con6ersation foc.sed on the
6ario.s organiGed religions and the enormo.s amo.nt of conflict and s.ffering
they had ca.sed thro.gho.t h.man history: One of the tr.stees 0as saying3
2$oo9 at the recent conflicts in6ol6ing M.slimsCIran and Ira@Cand the
ongoing str.ggle Israel has 0ith the +alestinians and her other Islamic neighborsK
loo9 at the fights bet0een M.slims and )ind.s in India3 and so on: Islam really
is a religion of the s0ord:5
Krishnam.rti responded3 2,ace it3 sirA Christianity has ca.sed more 0ars and
bloodshed than any other religion on earth: I 0onder if it*s beca.se it claims
di6ine re6elation3 directly from the horse*s mo.th:5
2-.t so do Islam and <.daism35 I said amidst la.ghter: 2In some respects they
all recogniGe the biblical script.res as a common so.rce of re6elation: They all
belie6e in one &od:5
2-.t their most important sacred te?ts are different35 a teacher pointed o.t:
2The Torah3 the Ne0 Testament and the KoranCeach of these boo9s is said to
contain the one and only3 .ltimate tr.th:5
2They are the religions of Hthe -oo9*35 Krishnam.rti said: 2#hen a religion is
based on one boo93 li9e the -ible or the Koran3 yo. ha6e people 0ho are bigoted3
intolerant3 narro08minded: 7o. can see it3 sir: The boo9 says so3 and that*s that:
If the Christians and M.slims 0ere to allo0 do.bt3 the 0hole thing 0o.ld
collapse:5
2-.t the )ind.s also ha6e their sacred script.res35 one lady ob1ected3 2and so
do the other "sian religions:5
2The )ind.s and -.ddhists ha6e a great n.mber of so8called sacred boo9s3
b.t none of them is considered the e?cl.si6e a.thority: They ha6e a long tradition
of in@.iry and do.bt: They ha6e fostered s9epticismA yo. can @.estion
e6erything: "nd the )ind.s ha6e 1II3III godsCyo. are free to choose yo.r
fa6orite one among them:5
"fter the ens.ing la.ghter had @.ieted do0n3 he m.sed3 2I 0onder if the +ope
and the bishops and all the other preachers really belie6e in 0hat they are saying:
They seem to be fairly ed.cated people3 and yet they carry on abo.t 6irgin birth3
ascension to hea6en3 sitting on the right hand of &od3 and all that other nonsense:
They m.st ha6e some do.bts in their minds: They say all this and see the
g.llibility of the people and go home and la.gh themsel6es silly3 don*t yo.
thin945
)e loo9ed at .s @.estioningly: Most of the people aro.nd the table had some
Christian or <e0ish elements in their bac9gro.nd and seemed some0hat s9eptical
of 0hat he 0as proposing: I fo.nd it diffic.lt to accept s.ch .tter cynicism and
hypocrisy on the part of these religio.s professionals:
2#hy3 Krishna1i45 I ob1ected: 2#hy 0o.ld they pretend to belie6e in these
things and mislead e6eryone45
2That*s fairly simple35 he responded3 2there is m.ch gain in it3 m.ch profit3
po0er3 prestige: $oo9 at the Catholic Ch.rch3 ho0 fab.lo.sly rich it is:
normo.s land holdings3 b.ildings3 fantastic art collections3 1e0els3 gold and
treas.resCone can*t imagine the 0ealth: Or the millions of dollars the
e6angelists and preachers are collecting in this co.ntry: "nd e6erybody bo0s to
yo.3 and 9isses yo.r hand: Thin9 of the prestige and honor the bishops and
cardinals get: !o there are many reasons and re0ards for getting in6ol6ed in this
rac9et: -.t I still 0onder if they really belie6e in all these dogmas3 doctrines and
fairy tales:5
!e6eral people e?pressed a certain incred.lity that the +ope and other high8
ran9ing religio.s dignitaries 0o.ld deliberately engage in a scheme of deception
and e?ploitation:
2"t some le6el of their being they m.st belie6e in 0hat they say and
represent35 one teacher insisted:
Krishnam.rti didn*t reply directly to the 6ario.s ob1ections b.t 0ent on 0ith
his o0n line of reasoning3 2The other day I sa0 a chap on tele6ision3 yo. 9no03
one of the f.ndamentalist preachersC0hat do yo. call them45
2Tele6angelist35 a lady ans0ered:
27es3 a tele6angelist: )e 0as tal9ing to his congregationA h.ndreds3 maybe
tho.sands of them3 yo.ng and old3 in a large modern ch.rch: They 0ere singing
and praying3 0earing robes and all that b.siness3 and the chap says3 HThere 0ill
be a 0hite hole in the constellation of:::5 )e loo9ed aro.nd searchingly3 2#hat*s
the name of that famo.s constellation45
2+leiades45 someone s.ggested:
2No3 not the +leiades:5
2Orion45 I proposed:
27es3 that*s it: There 0ill be a 0hite hole in the constellation of Orion3 and
<es.s 0ill appear in it 0ith all his angels and apostles3 and he 0ill ta9e his
follo0ers3 1M3III or some n.mber3 0ith him thro.gh the 0hite hole into hea6en:
"nd the camera sho0ed the faces of the a.dience3 all 0orshipf.l3 0ith tears in
their eyes3 belie6ing all the rot the man 0as saying:5
#hile narrating the tele6angelist story3 he had adopted a theatrical attit.de3
thr.sting o.t his arms and mimic9ing the preacher*s cloying histrionics: #e
0atched his performance 0ith increasing fascination3 0ith some tittering here
and there3 0hich finally e?ploded in e?.berant la.ghter: It 0as not only his
e?pert parody 0hich 0as so hilario.s3 b.t also the notion that Krishnam.rti the
H#orld Teacher* co.ld be sitting in front of a tele6ision set3 0atching the
tele6angelist go thro.gh his s%iel: On a n.mber of pre6io.s occasions he had
described se6eral Christian re6erends3 0ho performed on their o0n tele6ision
channels3 soliciting f.nds by selling religion3 miracles and healing:
2One can*t imagine the g.llibility of the people there35 he 0ent on3 rather
more serio.sly3 as a tone of incred.lity crept into his 6oice3 2all of them
completely g.llible3 soa9ing it .p3 b.ying e6ery 0ord of it: "nd e6erything he
said 0as based on the -ibleK it 0as s.pposed to be the absol.te3 literal tr.th: The
abs.rdity of it allL5
" tr.stee as9ed3 2#hat is the name of the preacher yo. 0ere 0atching3
Krishna1i45
)e had forgotten the nameCafter all3 there 0ere doGens of preachers on the
air0a6es: -.t his recollection of other telling detailsCthe 9ind of smile3 the robe3
the style of preaching and singingC0as both 0itty and phenomenal: " g.essing
game ens.ed3 in 0hich most of .s participated3 re6ealing o.r fairly 0ide8spread
9no0ledge of the more prominent religio.s entertainers: "fter e6eryone had
finally agreed 0hich preacher he 0as referring to3 he contended3 2That man
cannot possibly belie6e 0hat he is telling those people:5
"t this point3 practically e6eryone 0as ready to concede that large8scale
deception and e?ploitation 0as ta9ing place on tele6ision in the name of religion:
$arge n.mbers of the p.blic became all8too80illing 6ictims3 beca.se of
loneliness3 despair and conf.sion: 6en so3 there 0as a peep of dissent from the
ine6itable b.t86oice: " teacher s.ggested3 2O9ay3 they decei6e and ma9e money3
and so on3 b.t I*m s.re they belie6e in <es.s3 and the !cript.res3 and:::5
2No3 madam35 Krishnam.rti co.ntered emphatically3 2that*s 1.st not good
eno.gh: "ny old bird can claim a belief in <es.s and carry on 0ith his sordid
b.sinessCthat*s 1.st too easy:5
I sometimes felt that he 0as too categorical in his blan9et re1ection of things
Christian: 2-.t 0hat abo.t the mystics45 I as9ed3 changing the s.b1ect: 2Meister
c9hardt3 !t: <ohn of the Cross3 )ildegard 6on -ingen3 Theresa of "6ilaCdidn*t
they ha6e some insight into3 some contact 0ith3 the sacred d.ring their li6es45
2"s far as I .nderstand3 sir35 he ans0ered3 2the Christian mystics 0ere still
rooted in <es.s3 in the Ch.rch3 and the 0hole Christian belief system: They ne6er
0ent beyond it:5
I fell silent3 not 9no0ing 0hat to ans0er:
2None of the religions of the boo9 can really @.estion 0hat they are based
on35 another teacher stated: 2They cannot go beyond the so.rce of their
re6elation: They belie6e the boo9 contains the .nalterable3 fi?ed tr.th:5
Krishnam.rti conc.rred3 2No boo9 contains the tr.th: Tr.th is a li6ing thing:
)o0 can it be fi?ed4 They ha6e stopped in@.iring3 that*s 0hy they are dead: "nd
yo. 9no0 0hat the 0ord Hreligion* means4 I*6e loo9ed it .p in the dictionary:
They don*t really 9no0 the origin of the 0ord3 b.t there are t0o possible root
meanings: One is Hgathering3 collecting3 binding*: "nd it also means Hpondering
o6er3 obser6ing3 caring*: #e are saying3 religion is the gathering of all energy to
find tr.th:5
#e fell silent: "ll at once I co.ld see religionCnot as an instit.tion3 not as an
organiGed hierarchy3 not as a belief system 0ith temples and ch.rches3 boo9s and
dogmasCb.t as a li6ing endea6or3 as a flame b.rning in the mind:
!oon after 0e rose from the table and carried the dishes into the 9itchen3
Krishnam.rti lending a helping hand:
J
On the day of the last tal93 !.nday3 May MM3 I had the rare opport.nity of
0atching a feat.re8length film 0ith Krishnam.rti in the same theater: It 0as at
fi6e o*cloc9 at the O1ai +layho.se3 the local mo6ie theater in the heart of to0n:
There 0ere se6eral h.ndred g.ests3 0ho had come to see the premiere of the
film3 The Challen#e o$ Chan#e prod.ced by 6elyne -la.3 a tr.stee of the
,o.ndation: The s.b1ect of the film 0as none other than Krishnam.rti himself:
<.st a fe0 min.tes before the sched.led start of the film Krishnam.rti and
Mary >: arri6ed and @.ic9ly too9 their seats in the bac9 ro0s of the theater: I
tho.ght it remar9able ho0 shy he 0as3 practically ma9ing himself in6isible3 only
ho.rs after an ill.minating tal9 on religion and meditation:
The film portrayed him and his 0or9 from the early theosophical days .ntil
the present3 telling the story of a fairy tale life3 that seemed to spring directly
from A ThousandBAndB(ne 8i#hts:
J
" fe0 days later3 on May M73 0e had an early l.nch at 1MAFI3 so that
Krishnam.rti and Mary >: co.ld lea6e at t0o o*cloc9 to catch their flight to
ngland:
It had been an e?traordinary season: More than e6er3 Krishnam.rti*s coming
and going had been li9e a po0erf.l storm3 0hich stirred .p e6erything and
e6eryone: "fter0ards3 nothing 0as @.ite the sameK .ntil3 of co.rse3 o.r habit.al
patterns set in again3 li9e d.st settling on boo9shel6es:
Cha%ter 1<
" C ( $ M I N " T I O N
O , % I " $ O & (
Starters
Shepherd8s salad, a salad of many
different greens with vinaigrette
and blue cheese dressing.
(arinated articho%e hearts,
olive and tomato salad.
rated carrot and ginger salad.
Main Dishes
Lee% and potato soup.
$asta primavera: short ribbon pasta with
green peas, carrots, zucchini, red and green
bell peppers, garnished with pine nuts and
fresh basil, served with grated $armesan cheese.
Steamed green beans with slivered almonds
and finely chopped parsley.
Dessert
.ruit salad with yogurt,
sweetened with maple syrup.
#hile 0e 0ere str.ggling to regain o.r bearings after his depart.re3 Krishnam.rti
0as confronted 0ith a series of diffic.lties at -roc90ood +ar9: In "pril3 a fire
had badly damaged his bedroom and sitting room3 so that he had to .se different
@.arters for some time: In <.ne3 %orothy !immons3 the principal of the school3
had a stro9e: ,o.r administrators 0ere appointed to ta9e o6er her d.ties3 0hich
led to a rift bet0een staff members: " long3 dra0n8o.t str.ggle ens.ed3 despite
Krishnam.rti*s attempts to bring abo.t harmony: " more creati6e e6ent in <.ne
0as the meeting of Krishnam.rti and %a6id -ohm at -roc90ood +ar9: T0o
dialog.es bet0een the t0o old friends 0ere 6ideo8recorded and entitled The
)uture o$ .umanit":
!ome time in ".g.st3 19;F3 0e recei6ed the electrifying ne0s that
Krishnam.rti 0o.ld be coming to O1ai in early !eptember3 shortly after the
concl.sion of the -roc90ood +ar9 &atheringK he 0o.ld stay 0ith .s for a 0hole
month: The reason for this .nacc.stomed 6isit 0as that3 beca.se of the la0s.it
'a1agopal had initiated3 a date had been fi?ed for Krishnam.rti and Mary >: to
ma9e their depositions in /ent.ra: The appointed day 0as !eptember MI and
this3 of co.rse3 re@.ired their presence in California:
J
The director as9ed me to go 0ith him to the airport to pic9 .p Krishnam.rti3
Mary >: and %r: +arch.re3 an Indian physician accompanying him: It 0as a
bright3 s.nny day as 0e dro6e the school 6an along the +acific Coast )igh0ay to
$"V: The flight 0as on time3 and 0e didn*t ha6e to 0ait long:
The director s.ddenly pointed o.t a small gro.p of passengers coming .p the
0al90ay to0ard the e?it: Then I made o.t Mary >:3 0ho 0as p.shing a
0heelchair 0ith someone in it: I didn*t immediately recogniGe Krishnam.rti3
since he 0as b.ndled .p in blan9ets: %r: +arch.re3 his personal medical
attendant3 0as p.shing a baggage cart piled high 0ith s.itcases: The director and
I 0al9ed o6er to 0elcome them:
Krishnam.rti loo9ed 6.lnerable and tiny3 li9e a child3 0ith a blan9et 0rapped
ro.nd his legs and torso: )e 0as loo9ing agitated and fl.shed3 0ith a rare color
in his chee9s: "fter 0e had loaded the l.ggage into the bac9 of the 6an3 the fi6e
of .s set o.t on the dri6e north:
It 0as the first time I had gotten to ride 0ith Krishnam.rti in the same
6ehicle: !omeho03 I tho.ght of it as something special3 a pri6ilege3 altho.gh I
0asn*t s.re 0hy: "s 0e 0ere dri6ing thro.gh !anta Monica3 Malib.3 O?nard and
/ent.ra3 Krishnam.rti 0as tacit.rn3 loo9ing o.t the 0indo0 at the shimmering
bl.eness and the parched yello0 hills: Mary >: 0as sitting .p front 0ith the
director3 as9ing @.estions abo.t the school: %r: +: 0as on the seat behind them3
reading a magaGine: Krishnam.rti 0as sitting on the left in a ro0 by himself3
0hile I bro.ght .p the rear: 6ery so often3 I tho.ght I felt po0erf.l 6ibrations of
silence emanating from him3 permeating the 6ehicle: -.t my o0n tho.ghts3 the
noise of the car3 and the hea6y traffic on the high0ay distracted me from the
@.iet immensity:
J
The first l.nch3 the follo0ing day3 !eptember ;3 consisted of marinated articho9e
heart3 oli6e and tomato salad3 a carrot and ginger salad3 lee9 and potato so.p3
pasta prima6era ser6ed 0ith grated +armesan cheese3 and steamed green beans
adorned 0ith sli6ered almonds and lots of finely chopped parsley: ,or dessert I
made a fr.it salad3 0ith yog.rt s0eetened 0ith maple syr.p: It 0as a small
l.ncheon 0ith only eight of .s:
Mary >: told .s abo.t Krishnam.rti*s e?perience on the flight from $ondon
)eathro0 to $"V: )e 0as in the first8class section of the -oeing 7E73 0hen one
of the flight operators3 noticing his interest in the technical details of the plane3
in6ited him into the coc9pit: )e 0as fascinated by the many dials3 screens3
monitors and meters necessary to operate this giant flying machine:
One of the teachers 1o9ingly remar9ed3 27o. really sho.ld be 0earing the
captain*s hat3 sir:5
#e proceeded to calc.late ho0 many miles he might ha6e tra6eled
thro.gho.t his life: "ss.ming that normally he circled the globe at least once a
yearCta9ing into acco.nt his early 6oyages by steamerC0e arri6ed at an
appro?imate fig.re of more than a million miles: #e 0ere a0ed: "ll at once3 he
recalled a 1o9e he had heard recently: 2It*s the maiden flight of the first f.lly
comp.teriGed3 f.lly a.tomated3 pilotless and cre0less s.personic 1et across the
"tlantic35 he reco.nted3 0ith a charming t0in9le in his eye: 2The airplane is f.lly
boo9ed after an enormo.s media campaign: The passengers are seated and the
ta9e8off proceeds smoothly: Once in the air3 the a.tomatic intercom clic9s on to
0elcome the passengers3 H#elcome3 ladies and gentlemen3 on o.r maiden flight
from $ondon to Ne0 7or9 on the first f.lly comp.teriGed3 pilotless and cre0less
aircraft: The comp.teriGed flight system is certified to the highest safety
standards: 'ela? in yo.r seats and en1oy yo.r flight3 0hile the robot flight
attendants ser6e yo. refreshments: 'est ass.red that absol.tely nothing can go
0rong3 nothing can go 0rong3 nothing can go 0rong:::*5
#hile 0e 0ere still en1oying a good la.gh3 I remembered my ne0sman*s hat
and began3 as soon as e6eryone had @.ieted do0n3 2#ell3 Krishna1i3 yo. may
ha6e heard of the recent air disasterCit happened 1.st t0o days agoC0hen the
!o6iets shot do0n Korean "irlines flight II7 o6er !a9halin island:::5
This started e6eryone tal9ing3 since the e6ent had dominated the ne0s for the
past forty8eight ho.rs:
J
Thro.gho.t my life I ha6e been a mo6ie fan3 preferring sho0s on the big screen
to T/ monitors3 and going to theaters as often as I co.ld: Of co.rse3 I try to a6oid
the brainless fare and find the rare masterpiece: 6ery so often3 the con6ersation
at the l.nch table re6ol6ed aro.nd the most recent film releases: I 0o.ld
sometimes gi6e a re6ie03 after I had seen a mo6ie in /ent.ra or !anta -arbaraC
or3 less fre@.ently3 in O1ai: Krishnam.rti 0as .s.ally @.ite interested in my
criti@.e b.t3 at some point or other3 0o.ld c.t short my learned disco.rse by
simply as9ing3 2#as it good45
)e didn*t seem to go for art films3 social or romantic dramas3 or films 0ith a
message: )e preferred action yarnsCad6ent.re3 0esterns3 thrillers3 and the li9e:
%.ring one l.nch in early !eptember 0e 0ere tal9ing abo.t the so8called
Hspaghetti 0esterns*3 that had bro.ght fame to Clint ast0ood: Krishnam.rti3
0ho li9ed the to.gh actor3 admitted to en1oying his films: " lady g.est e?pressed
.ndisg.ised shoc9: 2)o0 can yo. li9e all that shooting and 9illing3 Krishna1i45
she as9ed:
)e loo9ed at her 0ith @.iet attention: "n impish t0in9le crept into his eye3 as
he replied3 2-.t they*re not really 9illing each other: It*s all ma9e8belie6eA
They*re .sing blan9s3 and the blood is 9etch.p or red color: "fter they*re shot
and fall do0n3 they get .p again: It*s only for sho0:5
The lady 0asn*t entirely con6inced and stammered3 2-.t 0hy3 0hy:::45
Krishnam.rti politely disregarded her fl.ster: $eaning bac9 in his chair3 he
said3 2"nd I li9e the scenery3 the bac9gro.nd of mo.ntains and 6alleys: "nd it*s
lo6ely to see the horses r.nning at f.ll speed and 1.mping o6er roc9s and
g.llies:5
I 0as al0ays s.rprised by his capacity to in6o9e a poetic mood 0ith the
barest minim.m of 0ords3 dra0ing a @.ic9 s9etch of a sit.ation 0ith 1.st a fe0
6erbal stro9es:
!omeone mentioned the film J.T.4The J,traterrestrial3 0hich had been a
h.ge s.ccess in the (:!: and o6erseas: !e6eral of .s re6ie0ed and praised the
tale of the 6isit to earth of the endearing creat.re from o.ter space: "ll at once3
Krishnam.rti became intrig.ed by 0hat he heard and started as9ing @.estions
abo.t the film: I pointed o.t that a theater in /ent.ra had matinee sho0ings of
the film: rna $illiefelt promptly s.ggested to him that they go to one of the early
sho0s: )is eyes lit .p3 and he gladly accepted the s.ggestion:
The day after his cinematic e?perience3 some of .s as9ed him3 2Krishna1i3
ho0 did yo. li9e the film45
)e became a bit dreamy8eyed at the recollection of the story of the
e?traterrestrial and simply said3 2I li9ed it:5 "fter a moment*s deliberation3 he
added3 2It 0as really adorable: !.ch an enchanting creat.re3 :T:5
rna @.ipped 0ith a smile3 2#ell3 Krishna1i3 yo. are :T: 7o. are the
?traterrestrial:5
)e didn*t say anything b.t only smiled: #e bro9e into delighted la.ghter at
the analogy3 and soon he 1oined in:
J
"t l.nch on !at.rday3 !eptember 1=3 there 0ere only eight of .s: The
con6ersation 0as abo.t the time 0hen Krishnam.rti 0as first introd.ced to .pper
cr.st nglish /ictorian society3 .nder the t.telage of "nnie -esant: )e fondly
remembered her3 referring to her as H%r: -esant*:
"lan as9ed him3 2%id yo. e6er meet &eorge -ernard !ha04 )e 0as
s.pposed to be a good friend of "nnie -esant*s:5
Krishnam.rti la.ghed3 2)e li9ed to refer to himself as &-!: The first time I
met him 0as shortly after my brother and I had arri6ed in ngland: I 0as a0f.lly
shy in those days and hardly e6er spo9e a 0ord: One day 0e 0ere in6ited to
dinner at a mansion3 I thin9 it 0as in #imbledon: #e sat at a long table3 festi6ely
made .p3 0ith candles and crystal3 ser6ants and all the rest of it: %r: -esant 0as
sitting at one end of the table3 my brother and I to either side of her3 and at the
other end of the long table 0as &-!3 0ith his long 0hite hair and beard: The
other g.ests 0ere high society people and the con6ersation 0as 6ery polite and
s.bd.ed3 0hen s.ddenly3 in the middle of the meal3 &-! called o.t in his lo.d
sonoro.s 6oice3 H"nnie3 I*6e heard yo. are raising a ne0 Messiah from India:*5
Krishnam.rti pa.sed and3 0ith an impish grin3 pointed a long trem.lo.s inde?
finger at his chest: #e started to la.gh3 and rna as9ed3 2#hat 0as the reaction
of the other g.ests45
2There 0as a silence for a moment3 then they all la.ghed:5
2"nd 0hat abo.t yo.3 sir45 I as9ed: 2)o0 did yo. feel45
2#ell3 I 0as 1.st sitting there and co.ldn*t r.n a0ay: I felt horribly
embarrassed3 and bl.shed3 and 0ished the gro.nd 0o.ld open .p and s0allo0
me 0hole:5
"t that3 o.r la.ghter intensified and3 for a moment3 0e shared 0onderf.l3
liberating mirth:
J
-eca.se of the .pcoming deposition in the la0s.it3 the l.nch table con6ersation
sometimes centered aro.nd la0yers3 1.dges and the pre6alence of litigation in
modern societies:
2That reminds me of something that happened in India some time ago35
Krishnam.rti began: 2I 0as gi6ing a tal9 in -ombay3 and after0ards a man came
to see me: )e 0as an older man 0ith 0hite hair3 of dignified bearing3 and he told
me his storyA he had been a 1.dge at the high co.rt for many years and had a
family 0ith se6eral children: One morning he said to himself3 H,or many years
no0 I ha6e been passing 1.dgment on all sorts of peopleCcriminals and robbers3
as 0ell as corr.pt b.sinessmen and politicians: -.t I don*t really 9no0 0hat
tr.th is3 or e6en if 1.stice e?ists: !o ho0 can I possibly practice 1.stice3 if I
myself don*t 9no0 1.stice4* "nd so he decided to follo0 the Indian tradition3
retired from his post3 left his familyCafter ta9ing care of their 0elfare3 of co.rse
Cand 0andered off into a remote forest to meditate and find o.t tr.th: )e
meditated for t0enty8fi6e years all by himself in the forest3 yo. .nderstand4 ,or
t0enty8fi6e years he carried on3 and then the other e6ening he came to hear the
tal9 in -ombay: #hen he came to see me after0ards3 he had tears in his eyes: HI
heard 0hat yo. said3* he told me3 Hand s.ddenly I realiGed that I ha6e been
decei6ing myselfA for t0enty8fi6e years I tho.ght I 0as meditating3 b.t I ha6e
only been hypnotiGing myself:* That*s 0hat he said: "nd for someone 0ho had
practiced meditation e6ery day for t0enty8fi6e years to admit that he had
decei6ed himselfK that is something enormo.sCthe nat.re of a h.man being li9e
that:5
Krishnam.rti fell silent after this dramatic story3 as did all of .s aro.nd the
table: #hat 0o.ld I do3 I said to myself3 if I s.ddenly disco6ered that my life had
been one long self8deception4 I really didn*t 9no0:
J
!eptember 19 0as the first day of the ne0 school term: On the follo0ing three
days there 0eren*t any l.nches at ":/:3 since Krishnam.rti3 Mary >: and the
$illiefelts 0ere b.sy gi6ing depositions in /ent.ra: The lengthy legal
proceedings3 ho0e6er3 0ere far from being concl.dedA they dragged on for
se6eral more years and 0ere not settled .ntil <.ne3 19;B:
On October 1I3 Col.mb.s %ay3 Krishnam.rti3 accompanied by Mary >: and
%r: +:3 departed for ngland3 0here he res.med his reg.lar tra6eling sched.le3
contin.ing to India in No6ember:
J
It had been a stormy season at the school: " n.mber of parents3 1oined by se6eral
of the teachers3 0ere .p in arms3 rebelling against the school administration and
some of its recent directi6es: It seemed a c.rio.s coincidence that3 after
-roc90ood +ar9 and the 'a1ghat !chool in /aranasi3 O1ai no0 sho.ld be
e?periencing t.rmoil and conflict of its o0n: %iscontent 0as not entirely
.n9no0n at Oa9 &ro6e3 since many people 0ho 1oined Krishnam.rti schools
came more often than not 0ith high e?pectations3 demanding nothing less than
perfectionCif not from themsel6es3 then at least from those aro.nd them: "nd
since3 0ith one or t0o notable e?ceptions3 0e 0ere all ordinary mortals3 the clash
0ith reality for those 0ho e?pected an instant paradise of rare3 enlightened
h.man beings 0as star9ly sobering: Krishnam.rti sometimes @.oted a 0ell8
9no0n saying that hinted at this3 2#e*6e met the enemyCit is .s:5
J
The pre6io.s year t0o directors had been p.t in charge of the Oa9 &ro6e !chool3
one for administrati6e3 the other for ed.cational matters: On ,ebr.ary M13 19;E3
the t0o directors dro6e to the airport to pic9 .p Krishnam.rti3 Mary >:3 and
%a6id and !aral -ohm: It 0as the only time that3 by a rare coincidence3
Krishnam.rti and %a6id arri6ed at $"V at the same time: "nd it 0as .n.s.al for
.s3 the 0elcoming committee3 to greet the t0o great friends sim.ltaneo.sly
beneath the pepper tree:
Krishnam.rti 0as rather tired and didn*t come for l.nch the ne?t day: -.t the
day after that he 1oined .s at the l.nch table and at one point told .s a 1o9e he had
heard recently:
27o. may ha6e heard this 1o9eCabo.t the naming of the di6ine child in
-ethlehem35 he began: 2The child 0as in the manger3 s.rro.nded by o?en and
sheep3 0hile his mother3 Mary3 and <oseph 0ere disc.ssing 0hat name to gi6e
him: !olomon 0as s.ggested3 Moses3 and %a6id3 b.t they co.ldn*t @.ite agree:
"t that moment3 the Magi3 the three 0ise men from the ast3 entered the stable:
+aying homage to the ne08born child3 they placed offerings of myrrh and
fran9incense before him: The third chap3 0ho 0as 6ery tall3 9nelt do0n to
present his gift of gold: "s he got .p3 he b.mped his head on the lo0 rafters of
the stable and e?claimed in pain3 H<es.s ChristL* Mary t.rned to <oseph and said3
HThat*s a nice name: That*s 0hat 0e*ll call him:*5
#hile 0e 0ere still la.ghing3 he loo9ed aro.nd the table and said
apologetically3 2I hope I*m not offending anybody:5
One of the tr.stees as9ed him abo.t his time in India: )e ga6e only a brief
indication of his b.sy program and the diffic.lties that he had enco.ntered there3
before 0e ad1o.rned for the day:
%.ring l.nch the follo0ing day3 ,riday3 ,ebr.ary ME3 %a6id -ohm initiated a
con6ersation by p.tting a @.estion to Krishnam.rti3 0ho 0as sitting ne?t to him:
)e apparently had a great many @.estions on his mind and 0as 9een on
form.lating and e?amining them 0ith him: " l.cid flo0 of meaning started to
mo6e bet0een the t0o minds3 li9e 0a6es from one shore to the other: !e6eral
people3 incl.ding myself3 felt confident eno.gh to contrib.te to the con6ersation:
This added to the dynamics of the dialog.e3 bringing all of .s together in one
mo6ement: The spontaneity of the disc.ssion enhanced the feeling of
togetherness: !tarting 0ith a simple @.estion and a simple reply3 it s0iftly too9
on the 0eight and depth of great serio.sness:
rna $illiefelt had apparently noticed a recording de6ice .nder the co.nter by
the 0indo0: !he leaned o6er to me and 0hispered3 2#hy don*t 0e record this45
I 0hispered bac93 27es3 a good ideaCb.t 0e ha6en*t got a blan9 tape:5
!he persisted3 as 0as her nat.ral tendency3 2Can*t 0e get one4 +erhaps r.n
o6er to the office45
Mean0hile3 Krishnam.rti and %a6id had form.lated the @.estion3 2Is there a
global o.tloo94 "nd 0hat does it imply45
This 0as a @.estion of deep concern for me3 not least beca.se I had been
teaching a co.rse at the )igh !chool3 called HC.rrent #orld "ffairs*3 0hich 0as
directly related to this iss.e: ,or an instant I e?perienced resistance at the
prospect of missing o.t on a portion of the ill.minating dialog.e: Then s.ddenly
I remembered and 0hispered to rna3 2I*6e got some tapes in my room: I*ll
@.ic9ly go and get them:5
It too9 me less than a min.te to ret.rn 0ith t0o blan9 tapes:
The e?ploration of the global h.man sit.ation contin.ed o6er o.r dirty plates:
6eryone*s attention 0as foc.sed on the t0o friends3 0hose energies 0ere
passionately loc9ed3 tho.gh they e?changed their 6ie0s 0ith gracef.l ease:
,or a moment I felt a090ard3 as I started to set .p the cassette recorder3 right
ne?t to Krishnam.rti and %a6id: They halted their deliberations and t.rned
to0ard me 0ith half p.GGled3 half am.sed e?pressions on their faces: There 0as a
space of silence: To conceal my embarrassment3 I bris9ly as9ed them3 2I hope
yo. don*t mind if I record this con6ersation:5
Neither of them sa0 any reason to ob1ect to my re@.est and signaled their
consent 0ith a brief nod3 before ret.rning to the s.b1ect at hand: I slipped a blan9
cassette into the machine and p.nched the record b.tton: The small 0heels
started to t.rn:
2)o0 can one con6ey a global o.tloo9 to one*s st.dents45 Krishnam.rti
as9ed3 tho.ghtf.lly pa.sing before he contin.ed: 2#hat do 0e act.ally mean by
Hglobal o.tloo9*4 Can one li6e according to the perceptions one gains thro.gh
s.ch a global o.tloo945
2Clearly3 a global o.tloo9 m.st be related to 0holeness3 the 0holeness of
life35 %a6id s.ggested:
27es sir3 not to be fragmentedK not to see and thin9 one thing3 say another3
and then do something altogether different:5
#e added o.r t0o cents* 0orth to the disc.ssion: "t one point3 Krishnam.rti
as9ed %a6id3 2!ir3 do yo. thin9 there co.ld be something li9e a global religion45
,or a moment there 0as e?citement b.t also la.ghter3 as 0e en6isioned an
organiGed form of global religion: -.t it soon became apparent that Krishnam.rti
re1ected any s.ch proposition o.t of hand3 especially 0hen it 0as s.ggested that
his teaching constit.te the basis for s.ch a 0orld0ide set8.p: The notion 0as
anathema to him and @.ite contrary to 0hat he had in mind:
2#e 0ant to set man free35 he declared 0ith great serio.sness3 2not in6ent
ne0 fetters for him:5
%a6id pointed o.t that the 6ario.s 0orld religions had started o.t 0ith an
intent to be for the 0hole of h.manity and to bring together all h.man beings:
-.t each organiGed belief system e6ent.ally claimed to possess the tr.th3
e?cl.si6e of all others3 and had s.bse@.ently ca.sed di6ision3 conflict and .ntold
s.ffering thro.gho.t the co.rse of history: )e matter8of8factly stated that the
@.estion3 H!ho.ld there be a global religion4* 0as highly theoretical and3
therefore3 not beneficial to p.rs.e: Krishnam.rti conc.rred 0ith his assessment3
and 0e left it at that: #e rose from the table in .nison and carried o.r dirty
dishes into the 9itchen: There seemed to be a strange bond that .nited .s for that
moment: "ll si?teen of .s had e?amined something together3 had been of one
mind for the past t0o ho.rs3 than9s in large part to the t0o catalysts:
The director and I briefly disc.ssed 0hat to do 0ith the tape8recorder and the
recording: "ltho.gh 0e 0eren*t s.re 0hether there 0o.ld be a follo08.p to this
highly .n.s.al dialog.e3 0e agreed that I hold on to the recorder for the
follo0ing days3 1.st in case a similar opport.nity arose again: There had been
n.mero.s recordings of Krishnam.rti3 %r: -ohm and others in dialog.e3 b.t the
settings 0ere al0ays caref.lly stage8managed: )ere3 for the first time3 0e had
recorded a con6ersation that occ.rred completely nat.rallyCa l.nch table
con6ersation that yet had the f.ll depth and scope of in@.iry:
J
The ne?t day 0as a !at.rday3 and I e?pected appro?imately t0enty g.ests for
l.nch: -efore starting 0ith the meal preparation in the morning3 I set .p the
recorder3 so that I co.ld immediately go into action3 if and 0hen another dialog.e
occ.rred:
Krishnam.rti loo9ed across at %a6id3 0ho 0as still che0ing his last morsels
of food3 and as9ed 0ith a brief smile3 2#ell3 sir3 shall 0e contin.e 0here 0e left
off yesterday45
Ta9ing a @.ic9 sip of 0ater to clear his mo.th3 %a6id smiled his endearing3
open smile: +.shing one hand thro.gh his f.ll b.t graying hair3 he replied3 2#ell3
yes: #here did 0e lea6e off45
In fact3 they fo.nd that they had left off at a point beyond 0hich it made no
sense to contin.e: 7esterday*s in@.iry into global religion had been left on the
doorstep of the indi6id.al conscio.sness: The only con.ndr.m 0as that
Krishnam.rti repeatedly and con6incingly demonstrated that there 0as no
Hindi6id.al* as s.ch: )e said3 2#e are not indi6id.als: The 0ord Hindi6id.al*
means Hnot di6ided*: -.t 0e are di6ided3 fragmented h.man beings3 both 0ithin
and bet0een o.rsel6esK therefore3 0e are not indi6id.als:5
I co.ld follo0 his arg.ment and grasped it intellect.ally3 b.t I 0as far from
seeing it as a roc98solid fact: Clearly3 to ha6e this insight in the conte?t of Hyo.
are the 0orld3 and the 0orld is yo.* necessitated an e?ceedingly s.btle
perception:
I loo9ed at Krishnam.rti 0ho seemed to be 0eighing a @.estion in his mind:
)e f.lly and caref.lly regarded %a6id and finally as9ed3 2#hat is honesty3 sir45
"s so often3 the form and content of 0hat he said 0ere e?tremely simple3 b.t
a deeper significanceC0hich lay beyond the 0ordsC0as con6eyed non8
6erbally: %a6id did not ta9e the @.estion lightly3 nor 0as he tempted to offer a
@.ic93 simplistic ans0er: )e started by caref.lly considering the etymological
root of the 0ord Hhonesty*: There 0as a playf.l @.ality to this type of
in6estigation3 that both Krishnam.rti and %a6id li9ed to engage in3 and it 0as
1.st this marriage bet0een the playf.l and the serio.s that allo0ed act.al
meaning to blossom forth: %a6id had a great capacity for memoriGing 0ords3
their roots3 and their original meanings: 2H)onesty*35 he e?plained3 2is related to
and has the same basic meaning as Hhonor*: "nd Hhonor* signifies Hofficial
dignity3 rep.te3 esteem3 re0ard and good name:*5
Krishnam.rti p.lled a s9eptical face3 ob1ecting less to the etymological
definitions than to accepting these meanings for the present in6estigation: 2No3
sir3 that*s 0hat the politicians are concerned 0ithCyo. 9no03 good name3
rep.tation and all the rest of it3 0hile act.ally they contin.e to be deceitf.l3
ambitio.s and false:5
2#ell35 %a6id said3 2the meaning of honesty3 as 0e no0 .nderstand it3 is
H.prightness3 tr.st0orthiness3 integrity:*5
That appeared to reconcile Krishnam.rti to the tr.e significance of the 0ord
Hhonesty*3 since he seemed intent on establishing a connection bet0een it and
tr.th3 moral beha6ior3 and no deceit:
)alf0ay thro.gh the con6ersation3 Krishnam.rti s.ddenly halted and loo9ed
at %a6id 0ith an e?pression of s.rprise3 27o. ha6e a meeting at the school this
afternoon3 don*t yo.45
%a6id nodded @.ietly and Krishnam.rti 0ent on3 2#ell3 it*s almost three
o*cloc9: #e*d better stop3 don*t yo. thin945
Krishnam.rti had enco.raged his friend to cond.ct a n.mber of disc.ssion
meetings 0ith both !chool staff and ,o.ndation tr.stees d.ring his stay at O1ai3
0hich this year lasted only t0o 0ee9s: #itho.t any sense of ri6alry he promoted
his friend3 transcending the tri6ial3 possessi6e delineations 0hich instit.tionaliGed
b.rea.cracy all too easily sets .p: The follo0ing day3 he as9ed him3 2)o0 did it
go45 "nd %a6id ga6e a s.mmary of the meeting:
J
#e chec9ed the recordings from the pre6io.s t0o l.nch dialog.es b.t fo.nd the
so.nd @.ality to be inferior: #e3 therefore3 e?changed the old recorder for a
ne0er model: It 0as a recording de6ice 0ith something of history3 in that
Krishnam.rti had .sed it for his solitary dictations3 p.blished .nder the title
Krishnamurti to .imsel$: !omeho03 I felt elated to get to .se this state8of8the8art
machine:
No0 the disc.ssions became more formaliGed: One of the tr.stees 0o.ld
introd.ce the session by saying into the table microphone3 2,ebr.ary MB3 19;EA
after8l.nch table disc.ssion at "rya /ihara3 O1ai3 California3 bet0een Mr: <:
Krishnam.rti3 %r: %a6id -ohm and others:5 ,ort.nately3 the sense of free8
flo0ing in@.iry and .ninhibited participation by those present 0as not affected
by these formalities:
It 0as !.nday3 and there 0ere nineteen g.ests aro.nd the table: ,or the
moment3 e6erybody seemed possessed of a sense of leis.re3 .npreocc.pied by
any e?traneo.s obligations: It 0as the end of l.nch and Krishnam.rti 0hispered
to %a6idCas if by no0 it 0as the nat.ral thing to do3 2!hall 0e start45
"nd they del6ed right into the dialog.e3 0hile some of the g.ests 0ere still
spooning their dessert3 ice cream: Neither of them had a pre8form.lated @.estion:
It 0as3 indeed3 as if they 0ere ta9ing a stroll along a 0ooded path in the dappled
light3 tal9ing o6er the pre6ailing patterns of life and conscio.sness:
Krishnam.rti .sed the analogy of Hthe ebb and flo0 of life*: -oth agreed that
the mo6ements of life 0ere .nified and of the same nat.reCthe o.tgoing and
incoming mo6ements of conscio.sness 0ere one and the same3 1.st as the ocean
tides are mo6ements of the same 0ater3 differing only in the direction of flo0:
The o.ter created the innerK the inner infl.enced and shaped the o.ter: #hich of
the t0o came first and 0as predominant 0as the perennial dilemma of the
chic9en and the egg: In fact3 at a most telling moment in the disc.ssion3
Krishnam.rti s.ggested that there 0as no Hinner*3 at least not in the sense in
0hich 0e .s.ally tho.ght of it: If any tr.e Hinner* e?isted3 it 0as the .n9no0n
and .n9no0able: "fter some deliberation3 they both conc.rred on this 6ital point:
I 0as both intrig.ed and mystified by the proposition: "ltho.gh I 0as far
from grasping its essence3 I glimpsed eno.gh of its tr.th to be tantaliGed:
Krishnam.rti proceeded to enter the realm of e6eryday li6ing by in@.iring
into right action: It 0as action 0hich did not contain 0ithin itself the seed of
di6ision and incompleteness and3 therefore3 0as free of the need for f.rther
ad1.stment: "s he p.t it3 2Can I li6e 0itho.t a single problem4 Can I be free to
0atch and obser6e45
+.tting the @.estion negati6ely did a0ay 0ith the m.ltit.dino.s positi6e
form.lations of 0hat constit.ted happiness3 enlightenment3 etc: "s he pointed
o.t3 2O.r brains3 from early childhood3 ha6e been trained to sol6e problems: -.t
0e ha6e created most of the problems 0hich confront .s: +roblems are a form of
stim.lationK 0e are addicted to them: #itho.t any problems3 0e feel dead:5
)e s.ggested that 0e needed a brain entirely .npreocc.pied and free of
problems in order to sol6e the problems that nat.rally aroseCat the 6ery moment
they occ.rred: "ltho.gh it so.nded li9e a circ.lar riddle3 the pro6erbial HCatch8
MM*3 it 0as eminently logical and practical: ,or most of .s listening he seemed to
be offering a description of 0hat lay beyond the s.nlit horiGon: #e co.ld see it
clearly3 b.t ho0 to get there4 #hat pre6ented .s from grasping 0hat he 0as
hinting at and3 in one fell s0oop3 ma9ing it an instantaneo.s act.ality4 #as there
a gap3 a barrier3 0hich distorted o.r perception4 Or did it re@.ire a total action3
an internal3 .ndi6ided immediacy3 0hich 0e 0ere someho0 incapable of4
#e seemed to be on a roll: -y no03 the after8l.nch dialog.e had become a
standard feat.re: The g.ests 6irt.ally e?pected me to bring o.t the cassette
recorder so 0e co.ld get started:
It 0as the fo.rth dialog.e3 Monday3 March M73 19;E3 and Krishnam.rti began
by as9ing %a6id3 2!ir3 is there anything beyond the brainCe?cept nat.re45
In the ens.ing con6ersation it 0as s.ggested that 0e li6e almost e?cl.si6ely
in a 0orld of o.r o0n ma9ingCthe interpreted3 analyGed3 manip.lated 0orld of
o.r daily life3 shaped and created by tho.ght: ,rom the chairs 0e sat on3 the table
0e ate off3 the cars 0e dro6e on linear roads3 to o.r professional li6es and social
interactions3 and the 0hole inner ma9e8.p of ideas and memoriesCall of that
0as created by the brain: "nd altho.gh the h.man being3 thro.gh the instr.ment
of tho.ght3 manip.lated3 e?ploited and tried to control nat.re3 the totality of
nat.re clearly lay o.tside the scope of the brain: Nat.re 0as the larger conte?t3
the matri? and gro.nd from 0hich 0e sprang and of 0hich 0e 0ere b.t
min.sc.le parts: Nat.re had e6ol6ed the brain:
6ent.ally3 Krishnam.rti as9ed3 2Is there something apart from nat.re and
the brain 0hich has created its o0n reality4 Is there something that is
@.alitati6ely entirely different45
The trend of the in@.iry reminded me distantly of the Jndin# o$ Time
dialog.es fo.r years earlier3 beca.se %a6id s.ggested in response3 2+erhaps
nothingness is that @.ality3 is that state:5
"s they tried to define that 0hich 0as .ltimately indefinable3 they e@.ated it
0ith lo6e3 tr.th and bea.ty3 and sa0 it as the so.rce of attention: No0
Krishnam.rti mo6ed into the more practical sphere by as9ing3 2Is it possible to
completely empty the brain of its psychological content45
)e seemed to imply that nothingness co.ld not manifest3 become Hoperati6e*3
as it 0ere3 .ntil this psychological emptying had occ.rred3 0hich3 of co.rse3
implied a complete abandonment of self8interest3 e6en the annihilation of the
str.ct.re of the selfA the HI* and the Hme*:
Most of .s sat silent3 as the afternoon s.nlight streamed in thro.gh the
c.rtained 0indo0s and reflected off the dar9 s.rface of the table3 .nable to say
anything: H)o04 )o04*3 one 0anted to as9: -.t 0e 9ne0 better than to as9 for a
method:
!.ddenly3 !aral remembered that %a6id had another afternoon dialog.e
session 0ith the staff at the school pa6ilion: #e got .p @.ic9ly from the table3
the 6ital @.estion still ali6e in o.r minds:
J
!e6eral tr.stees re6ie0ed the dialog.es recorded on the ne0 recorder and fo.nd
them to be of inferior @.ality: The bac9gro.nd noise of table0are3 shifting chairs3
th.ds and co.ghs had distorted the so.nd: They s.ggested that 0e .se the high
@.ality reel8to8reel Nagra recorder .s.ally .sed for recording p.blic tal9s3 formal
dialog.es and inter6ie0s: I felt apprehensi6e abo.t this change3 since I 0o.ld
ha6e to .se a separate microphone to pic9 .p the so.nd signals and headphones
to ad1.st the a.ditory le6els of the recording: -esides3 the threading in and
s0itching of the reel tapes 0as a rather sensiti6e affair3 not recommended for
someone 0ho easily t.rned into a ner6o.s f.mbler3 li9e myself:
"t the opening of the fifth after8l.nch dialog.e3 Krishnam.rti 1o9ed3 2-efore
0e all go to sleep3 0hat are 0e going to disc.ss45
Nobody seemed to ha6e a rele6ant @.estion on their mind3 so3 after an inter6al
of silent deliberation3 he as9ed simply3 2#hat is corr.ption45
"fter a brief semantic e?amination3 0hich re6ealed that Hcorr.ption* meant
Hfragmented3 bro9en .p*3 0e loo9ed at possible historical ca.ses for the per6asi6e
corr.ption of h.man society:
Krishnam.rti hesitated to allo0 the concept of Hsociety* into the dialog.e3
since it s.ggested an entity that 0as separate3 e?ternaliGed3 and both a.tonomo.s
and anonymo.s: In6ariably3 it negated the responsibility of each single h.man
being:
2!ociety is p.t together by h.man beings3 it is 0hat 0e are35 he insisted:
2!ociety is not different from .s: #e are society:5
)e3 th.s3 firmly anchored the essence and rele6ance of o.r disc.ssion: ,or
him3 there 0as nothing theoretical abo.t it: To dri6e home the point to each one
of .s present3 he altered the phrasing of the @.estion into a simple3 direct3 2#hy
am I corr.pt45
)e as9ed the @.estion for .sChe clearly felt that he 0as not corr.pt: Nor had
I e6er 0itnessed any indication that he might share that common and destr.cti6e
@.ality 0ith the rest of .s: This inescapably confronted .s 0ith the @.estion3 as in
a mirror: )e repeated it intermittently3 and the relentless force of self8in@.iry
inherent in this simple form.lation p.shed e6eryone against the 0all: "ny
ans0er 0e came .p 0ith 0as s0ept aside as rationaliGation and ro.ndabo.t
e?c.se:
%a6id s.ggested that people had lost faith in the integrity of society: !omeone
else cited o6erpop.lation and the concomitant press.re for s.r6i6al3 the search
for sec.rity3 and competition: -.t Krishnam.rti again and again ret.rned to the
original @.estion3 dissatisfied 0ith any e?planation: /icario.sly he as9ed3 2#hy
ha6e I become li9e this4 #hy am I corr.pt4 #hat has made me corr.pt45
I co.ld obser6e 0ithin myself that one really shied a0ay from serio.sly
p.tting this @.estion to oneself: +robably not many of those at the table3
incl.ding myself3 really percei6ed the fact of their corr.ption: %a6id sa0 0hat
Krishnam.rti 0as dri6ing at and rephrased the @.estion in an ob1ecti6e form3 tr.e
to the scientific method3 2)o0 does corr.ption affect the brain45
Krishnam.rti ho0e6er insisted on p.tting it right on e6eryone*s doorstep3
2+.t yo.rself that @.estionA H0hy am I corr.pt4*5
+robing for the inner ca.se of this per6asi6e corr.ption3 he tentati6ely offered
any n.mber of ans0ers3 0hich none of .s had entertained:
2Is it 9no0ledge45 he as9ed: 2Is it the tremendo.s importance gi6en to the
intellect45
)e ne6er seemed @.ite ready to accept an ans0er3 e6en his o0n: )e remained
in a state of not89no0ingK he 9ept on probing3 p.shing3 @.estioning3 ne6er
allo0ing any form.lation3 ho0e6er pla.sible3 to become a concl.sion: "
concl.sion 0as a dead end for him: ,inally3 after repeating the @.estion3 2#hy
am I corr.pt45 bet0een t0enty and thirty times o6er a t0o8ho.r period3 he made
that enormo.s @.ant.m leap that only he seemed capable of: It 0as the
.ntho.ght8of3 inconcei6able d?nouement of a spellbinding psychological thriller3
in 0hich 0e 0ere all participants3 6ictims3 perpetrators: "nd the 1;I8degree t.rn
from the horiGontal to the 6ertical plane3 imb.ed 0ith clarity and simplicity3 0as
something none of .s had en6isioned:
6en so3 he refrained from insisting that his proposition 0as right: The bea.ty
of the arg.ment d0elt in @.estioning the @.estion3 or rather the moti6e behind it:
)e s.ggested that 0anting a concl.sionC0hich essentially implied 9no0ing the
ca.se3 0hich then in t.rn 0o.ld become 9no0ledgeC0as itself corr.ption:
#anting to find the ca.se of a problem 0as the same thing: That 0hich had been
ca.sing corr.ption3 that is3 tho.ght and 9no0ledge3 0ere also as9ing the
@.estion:
#as this a case of leading the arg.ment ad absurdum43 I as9ed myself: Or
0as it the bea.ty of an in6estigation into what is3 a mo6ement from nothingness
into nothingness4 To positi6ely clarify the point he 0as ma9ingCand I thin9 he
f.lly meant 0hat he said at that momentCKrishnam.rti simply stated3 2I don*t
0ant to 9no0:5
#ho co.ld 9eep pace 0ith that4
J
The follo0ing day3 ,ebr.ary M93 no dialog.e occ.rred d.ring l.nch: +erhaps
e6eryone needed a breather3 or there 0as a need to get do0n to the nitty8gritty3
since only money matters 0ere disc.ssed: The day after that3 ho0e6er3
Krishnam.rti 0as ready for another dialog.e session 0ith %a6id -ohm and o.r
assortment of minor minds: !tarting o.t 0ith one of his decepti6ely simple
@.estions3 0hich yet had the potential of leading to the gate0ay of act.ality3 he
as9ed3 2#hat is time45
There 0ere 6ario.s e?planations3 definitions and tangential 6ie0s p.t forth3
b.t he 0as intent on ma9ing the e?amination fact.al3 personally rele6ant3 and
immediate: 2#hat does time mean to yo.45 he 0anted to 9no0:
"s 0e 6oiced o.r perceptions3 the 6ario.s aspects of time grad.ally
manifested: There 0as the past3 the present3 the f.t.re3 becoming3 contin.ity3
death3 change3 beginning and ending3 memory3 tho.ght and 9no0ledge3 and the
no0: -.t he 0anted to e?plore the e6eryday fact of time3 the simple or comple?
act.ality of it: )e 0anted .s to loo9 deeply into o.r o0n minds3 not theoretically
b.t act.ally3 0hile 0e 0ere spea9ing and listening: ,inally he stated3 li9e a
magician 0ho ma9es things disappear3 2There can only be change if there is
ending: If I loo9 for change3 there is no change: !o I 0on*t loo9 for it: nding
0itho.t a f.t.re means no time:5
I thin9 0e .nderstood 0hat he meant as far as 0ord and meaning 0entK b.t at
the f.ndamental le6el3 0here 0ord and action did not differ3 none of .s seemed
@.ite to be there: " brief moment of stillness preceded the noise of chairs being
mo6ed and table0are clin9ing as 0e got .p from the table:
J
The ne?t day3 Krishnam.rti and Mary >: 0ent to $os "ngeles3 and there 0as no
l.nch: -.t on !at.rday3 March F3 I recorded another after8l.nch dialog.e
bet0een Krishnam.rti3 %a6id and 6ario.s tr.stees and teachers: It differed
s.bstantially from the pre6io.s si? con6ersations3 both in topic and @.ality: In
fact3 beca.se of the sensiti6e and specific s.b1ect matter3 %a6id spo9e only
minimally:
The school had been e?periencing a n.mber of diffic.lties: The l.nch g.ests
0ere primarily staff and tr.stees3 and e6eryone seemed to be preocc.pied by the
recent complaints and reproaches: The pre6io.s day3 Krishnam.rti had recei6ed a
serio.s letter of complaint from a parent gro.p3 and he 0as @.ite .pset: "s 0e
0ere tal9ing o6er the iss.e3 he appeared to become more f.rio.s3 fiercely
challenging all of .s3 0ho so.nded rather apologetic and complacent: #hen
someone .s.ally @.ite close to him spo9e of tr.st3 he impatiently t.rned on her
0ith the 0ords3 2#hat do yo. mean by tr.st4 #hy sho.ld I tr.st yo.45 It
resembled a 6erbal battle d.ring 0hich nobody 0as allo0ed to get a0ay 0ith a
careless remar9:
The problem of the school did not go a0ay: The @.estions 0ere ho0 to
str.ct.re it3 especially 0ith the recent addition of a high schoolK 0ho 0as in
charge and responsibleK ho0 to relate to the parentsK 0hat role did Krishnam.rti*s
teachings play in the affairs of the school3 and did they conflict 0ith the
academic c.rric.l.m4 Krishnam.rti disc.ssed these matters 0ith tr.stees3
parents and staff time and again d.ring the coming months: There 0as no easy
sol.tionK it 0as an ongoing labor of lo6e3 if it 0as to ma9e any difference at all:
J
%a6id and !aral -ohm left the follo0ing morning3 on March E3 to meet 6ario.s
commitments of their o0n: Th.s3 they did not attend the O1ai Tal9s of 19;E: It
t.rned o.t3 in fact3 that these si? .n.s.al l.nch table con6ersations at "rya
/ihara 0ere the 6ery last recorded dialog.es bet0een Krishnam.rti and %a6idC
a meeting of brilliant minds3 a rare 0al9 of t0o great friends along the shaded
trails of life:
Cha%ter 1>
C ' " T I / I T 7
Starters
Tossed green salad with
vinaigrette or garlic dressing.
ree% salad, made with chun%s of tomatoes, onions,
bell peppers, topped with olives and feta cheese.
ree%#>ndian cucumber salad, with yogurt,
cumin powder and cilantro.
Main Dishes
Asparagus soup.
?egetarian moussa%a, made with
layers of eggplant,
bulgur wheat and walnuts,
with a bechamel sauce
flavored with cinnamon.
@ucchini in tomato sauce.
Dessert
$ersimmon cream, made with
ripe Aa%i persimmons and cream.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
It 0as a highly .n.s.al e6ent: Krishnam.rti had been in6ited to gi6e a tal9 at the
go6ernment8operated National $aboratory 'esearch Center at $os "lamos3 Ne0
Me?ico3 birthplace of the atomic bomb and the atomic age: ,orty years earlier3
'ichard ,eynman had 0or9ed there on the Manhattan pro1ect 0hich %a6id -ohm
had almost 1oined:
On March MI3 19;E3 Krishnam.rti spo9e to se6eral h.ndred resident scientists
abo.t HCreati6ity in !cience*: "ltho.gh he didn*t entirely negate the possibility
of creati6ity occ.rring in the realm of science3 he politely s.ggested that it 0as
.nli9ely that 0hat he considered to be creati6ity 0o.ld flo0er in the present
location: On the follo0ing day3 he ans0ered @.estions and ans0ers regarding the
same topic by the assembled physicists:
%.ring l.nch on the day after his ret.rn to O1ai3 he and Mary >: reco.nted
some of their impressions of their three8day trip to Indian co.ntry to the fe0 of
.s aro.nd the table: ,inally he m.sed3 2I 0onder if any of 0hat 0e said really
affected them: The scientists are so rooted in 9no0ledge3 al0ays gathering more
and more of it: )o0 can they p.t all of that aside45
" lady tr.stee s.ggested3 2-.t3 Krishna1i3 there m.st ha6e been at least one or
t0o among them 0ho really listened to yo.: "nd perhaps some of 0hat yo. 0ere
saying snea9ed beyond the barrier of 9no0ledge3 and some seeds 0ere left
behind:5
2That reminds me of a lo6ely story I heard recently35 he said: 2"nd3 please3
I*m not comparing the scientists to the people in the story3 0ho happen to be
robbers:5
#e all started to la.gh at the droll 0ay in 0hich he introd.ced the telling of
his anecdote:
2It 0as a family of robbers3 and they had been robbers for many generations:
The father 0o.ld ta9e his t0o sons o.t to rob people and teach them ho0 to steal:
"fter a profitable robbery3 he 0o.ld go to ch.rch 0ith them and than9 &od for
his 9indness and light candles in the ch.rch3 beca.se this 0as their 6ocation: !o
one day they are ret.rning from a s.ccessf.l heist3 their poc9ets filled 0ith
money and stolen 1e0els3 and are crossing the large s@.are in front of their ho.se:
" cro0d of people has gathered and they are listening to a man gi6ing a sermon:
"s soon as the father hears 0hat the man is tal9ing abo.t3 he tells his sons3
HR.ic9ly3 co6er yo.r earsL* One of the t0o brothers obeys3 b.t the other is
c.rio.s to hear 0hat the man is saying: "nd the preacher is telling his listeners3
HIt*s 0rong to rob and steal from another person: %on*t e6er h.rt a fello0 h.man
being3 b.t be 9ind to one another:* )e hears these 0ords b.t contin.es 0ith his
life as a robber: "nd he li6es in pain and inner conflict for the rest of his life:5
2-.t co.ldn*t he ha6e changed his life and gi6en .p his robbing and
stealing45 I as9ed:
Krishnam.rti t.rned to0ard me3 and I felt a po0erf.l 0a6e of energy: 2)ey35
he said 0ith s.rprise and then 0idened his eyes to a comical e?pression3 2yo. are
not getting the story3 Michael: It*s his life3 it*s his li6elihood:5
The teacher ne?t to me e?plained3 2)e hears the tr.th b.t doesn*t act .pon it:
Therefore3 it t.rns to poison and dist.rbs his life e6er after:5
2#ell3 yes35 I said 0ith an embarrassed la.gh3 2I .nderstand that: -.t if he
had changed his life3 it 0o.ldn*t be a storyCor 0o.ld it45
J
One 0ee9 later3 on March M93 Krishnam.rti met the school staff at +ine Cottage
at fo.r o*cloc9 in the afternoon: ,or some reason3 se6eral @.estions abo.t food
and the 6egetarian diet 0ere raised: ,ood 0as an iss.e that had been reg.larly
e?amined from the 6ery beginning of the school in 197=3 and it came .p again
and again d.ring staff and parent meetings: Nat.rally3 food 0as an important
concern3 and it needed to be addressed in the proper conte?t of c.lt.re3
conditioning3 health and right li6ing: "ltho.gh not all the tr.stees3 nor all of the
staff3 and certainly not all the st.dents* families 0ere 6egetarians3 there had been
an agreement from the beginning to maintain a 6egetarian camp.s: Krishnam.rti
himself had been a 6egetarian thro.gho.t his life3 ne6er tasting meat3 fish3 or
fo0l3 b.t he 0as not at all interested in 6egetarianism as a sectarian iss.e3 a
ca.se3 or a mo6ement: "t one point he had clarified the @.estion3 2N.tritionally
and scientifically it is not necessary to eat meat: One can li6e 6ery healthily3
normally3 and ha6e plenty of energy by ha6ing the right 9ind of food: #hich
means no meat:5
-.t he 0as deeply concerned as to ho0 di6ergent r.les abo.t the eating and
non8eating of meat might affect the child: 2)ere 0e say3 don*t eat meat: They go
bac9 home3 and the 0hole family eats it: #on*t the child feel conf.sed4 )ere
this3 there that: "re 0e creating an inner conflict in the st.dent45
"s 0e carried on a li6ely debate abo.t it3 e6erybody adding their t0o8cents*
0orth3 Krishnam.rti 9ept simplifying o.r con6ol.ted approach3 clearing a0ay
the personal3 emotional .nderbr.sh:
2I*m clearing the dec9s as 0e go along35 he said 0ith a slightly impish smile:
2$oo93 sirsC9eep it simple: No 6egetarian8ism: I am not interested in 6egetarian8
ism: I am not a follo0er of 6egetarianism: #e are not 6egetarians:5
!ome of .s 0ere slightly startled: #hat4
)e noticed it at once and clarified3 2No ism: There is no place for any ism3
any dogma or ideology: I simply 0on*t 9ill: It*s 0rong to 9ill: That*s all:5
#e sat there in ill.mined silence: !.ddenly e6erything seemed simple3 clear
and self8e6ident: )is insight had c.t thro.gh the deep8rooted entanglement of
pros and cons3 arg.ment and co.nter8arg.mentCin fact3 to the 6ery heart of the
matter: " shy silence filled the bright room3 and 0ith @.iet emphasis he added3
2To 9ill another h.man being is the greatest e6il:5
#e 0ere held s.spended by an e?@.isite stillnessK then he all at once in1ected
some light8hearted h.mor into the gathering3 2-.t don*t come to me and as9
0hether it*s 0rong to 9ill 6egetables:5
" lady teacher promptly felt impelled to s.stain the arg.ment and as9ed3
2#ell3 in a 0ay3 it is li9e 9illing3 isn*t it4 If I c.t the cabbage and ca.liflo0er
from the gro.nd:::5
2-.t3 madam3 yo.*6e got to li6eL 7o. can*t 1.st li6e on air and 0ater:5 "
p.nct.ating pa.se: 2No sir3 yo. see3 yo. contin.e 0ith this:::5 )is 6oice trailed
off3 lea6ing the sentence .nfinished: 2If yo. are an s9imo and yo. li6e in the
icy 0astelands3 0hat do yo. do4 There are no 6egetables and all that: !o yo.
h.nt to stay ali6e3 right45
Nobody ob1ected:
2-.t 0e are in California: There are all 9inds of 6egetables and fr.it aro.nd3
all year long: !o it*s easy to li6e on a 6egetarian diet and be healthy and f.ll of
energy:5
The iss.e came .p again d.ring l.nch on Monday3 "pril M: ight of .s 0ere
disc.ssing 6egetarianism3 dr.gs3 smo9ing3 alcohol3 and so on3 and 0hether the
school co.ld deal 0ith these problems thro.gh r.les: !eeing the necessity to ha6e
some r.les at a school3 0e p.GGled o6er the @.estion of ho0 to a6oid the conflict
they bro.ght abo.t in the st.dents:
The follo0ing !.nday morning3 Krishnam.rti met 0ith the staff and in@.ired
into the ending of the self3 pointing o.t that 9no0ledge 0as the self: To entertain
the notion that the sense of self3 that seemingly imm.table feeling of identity 0as
nothing b.t a b.ndle of memories 0as both liberating and e?hilarating for me:
There 0ere only si? of .s for l.nch on MondayCit 0as the day of the
"cademy "0ards ceremony in $os "ngeles: #e 0ere ha6ing an easy3 delightf.l
con6ersation3 a con6ersation among friends3 tal9ing abo.t e?periences that
to.ched .pon the realm of the s.pernat.ral3 the mirac.lo.s and e?trasensory:
2I m.st tell yo. a story 0hich happened to me in India some time ago35
Krishnam.rti began and loo9ed at .s 0ith a serio.s e?pression: 2This is not
imaginary b.t fact.al: " gro.p of .s 0ere sitting on a stone terrace o6erloo9ing a
la0n and a small rose garden: It 0as a lo6ely e6ening3 and 0e 0ere con6ersing in
a leis.rely fashion 0hen3 all at once3 the ser6ant came and anno.nced that there
0as someone 0ho 0anted to see .s: It 0as a poor itinerant sann"asi3 and he
0anted to gi6e .s a demonstration: !o 0e agreed: )e re@.ested that a ne0spaper
be bro.ght: Then he as9ed the ser6ant3 0ho 0as holding the ne0spaper3 to fold it
do0n the middle3 then once more3 and then again: "ll this time he 0as sitting
cross8legged on the la0n3 on the side opposite the rose b.shes3 abo.t ten or
fifteen yards from .s: Ne?t3 he told the ser6ant to place the folded ne0spaper at
the bottom of the stairs to the terrace: )e as9ed .s to 0atch the ne0spaper 6ery
caref.lly: )e 1.st 9ept sitting there3 0ith closed eyes3 b.t he ne6er to.ched the
ne0spaper or handled it: "s 0e 0ere closely 0atching the ne0spaper3 it started
to shrin9: It grad.ally became smaller and smaller3 .ntil all at once it had entirely
disappeared: It had 6anished into thin air: The 0hole ne0spaper 0as gone in 1.st
a fe0 moments:5
Krishnam.rti held o.t his slim3 elegant hands and ill.strated the process by
bringing together his palms: !.ddenly3 as they almost to.ched3 he dramatically
1er9ed them apart: 2&oneL5 )e st.died o.r mystified faces: 6eryone appeared
incred.lo.s and impressed:
I might ha6e @.estioned the eye0itness report more s9eptically3 if it hadn*t
been told by Krishnam.rti: Instead I only as9ed3 2It completely disappeared into
thin air45
2I 0as 0atching him and the ne0spaper li9e a ha093 and also the others 0ere
caref.lly obser6ing the 0hole e6ent: I co.ldn*t fig.re o.t ho0 he did it:5 "s if to
certify the reliability of his fello0 obser6ers3 he added3 2None of .s had to.ched
any alcohol:5
#e @.ietly contemplated the story3 0aiting for him to offer an e?planation of
the magical e6ent3 b.t none seemed to be forthcoming: "fter an inter6al of
silence3 I 0ondered o.t lo.d3 2-.t 0hy did he do it4 I mean3 0hy did he come to
demonstrate his magic to yo.45
2I*m not s.re35 Krishnam.rti replied: 2Maybe he 0as dra0n by the presence
of the gro.p3 maybe by the presence of K: "fter0ards 0e offered him money3 b.t
he ref.sed it: "ccepting money for this 0o.ld ha6e made it cheap3 yo. 9no0:5
)e made a small dismissi6e gest.re as if to indicate that the tradition of many of
the Indian sann"asis 0as o.tside the realm of commercialism:
2-.t 0as it real45 rna as9ed:
)e ga6e a short delighted la.gh3 2Oh3 yes3 it 0as real:5
)e clearly en1oyed seeing .s p.GGled by the mystery and letting its enigmatic
aspect p.nct.re o.r conscio.sness3 0hich 0as either too g.llible or 0hich hardly
e6er dared step beyond the parameters of ca.se and effect:
2-.t 0hat did it mean45 someone as9ed:
2Maybe it didn*t mean anything at all: Many of the "o#is and sann"asis in
India gain an e?traordinary po0er thro.gh constant practice: If yo. 0or9 at it
e6ery day 0ith all yo.r might3 yo. can accomplish astonishing thingsC0al9ing
on hot coals3 materialiGing or dematerialiGing things3 fasting for 0ee9s on end3
le6itating3 holding yo.r breath for a long time3 and so on and on: "t the end of it3
yo. as93 0hat does it all mean4 #hat of it4 #hat difference does it ma9e if yo.
can sit on pins or hold yo.r breath for half an ho.r4 %o yo. see3 sir45
2-.t 0hy do they go thro.gh all the str.ggle to gain these po0ers45 I as9ed:
2"h3 that*s fairly simple3 isn*t it4 !o they ha6e some importance3 ha6e po0er3
impress people: ,or some of them3 as for that chap3 it*s a special gift and they
don*t ta9e money for it: -.t many of them go thro.gh e?traordinary depri6ations
Cdenying themsel6es and their bodies any comfort or en1oymentC1.st to
achie6e this: "nd they do it: It can be done: The most incredible things can be
done if yo. set yo.r mind to it: -.t this other thingC0hat 0e are tal9ing abo.t
Cthat*s something entirely different: That has nothing to do 0ith any of these
tric9s and magical po0ers:5
I tho.ght I .nderstood 0hat he meant: 7ogic feats re@.ired a gathering of
energy3 foc.sed one8pointedly on the perfection of a specific s9ill3 almost li9e an
athlete3 0hile he demanded a total and radical change of the h.man
conscio.sness3 so that one co.ld li6e intelligently and 0itho.t conflict:
2I ha6e to tell yo. another story abo.t this35 he added3 and his face too9 on a
p.c9ish e?pression: 2#e 0ere staying at a ho.se in -ombay35 he contin.ed:
2T0o sann"asis passed by the ho.se3 an older g.r. and his yo.ng disciple3 or
chela: They 0ere on some religio.s pilgrimage3 0al9ing the length of IndiaCa
tho.sand milesC0al9ing3 yo. .nderstand3 not by car or train: The old man
sensed the presence of a great being in the ho.se and sent the chela to in@.ire if
he co.ld enter the ho.se and see .s: !o 0e agreed to see him3 and 0e all sat in
one room3 and +.p.l <aya9ar 0as there3 and the old boy made s.re that he 0asn*t
sitting on the same mat as she 0as:5
2#hy didn*t he 0ant to sit on the same mat45 I in@.ired:
" h.moro.s t0in9le came into his eyes: 2#ell35 he e?plained3 2any contact
0ith a 0oman 0as against his 6o0 of chastity and 0o.ld ha6e poll.ted him3 so
sitting on the same mat 0ith her:::53 he started to la.gh3 gest.ring descripti6ely3
27o. see3 thro.gh the mat3 he 0o.ld be to.ching her3 or perhaps the other 0ay
aro.ndCshe 0o.ld be to.ching him:5 )is la.ghter en6eloped all of .s: Calming
do0n3 he 0ent on3 2!o he as9ed that some 0ater be bro.ght3 and they po.red it
o6er his hands3 catching it in a basin .nderneath: )e had it passed aro.nd3
saying3 HTaste it:* !o 0e tasted it:5
I felt a certain re6.lsion at the idea of tasting 0ater po.red o6er another
person*s hands3 b.t Krishnam.rti contin.ed .npert.rbed3 2It 0as reg.lar clean
0ater: )e as9ed that the 0ater be thro0n a0ay3 and that fresh 0ater be po.red
o6er his hands a second time: "gain he as9ed .s to taste it3 and it had the definite
fragrance and taste of rose0ater: I 0as 0atching the chap 6ery3 6ery closely: I
do.bt if he co.ld ha6e introd.ced anything into the 0ater: The others agreed that
it smelled and tasted li9e rose0ater3 and they had been 0atching him as 0ell: It
0asn*t a tric93 yo. .nderstand4 )o0 do yo. e?plain something li9e that45
#e rac9ed o.r brains3 b.t 0e co.ldn*t come .p 0ith an e?planation of the
ca.sal connections .nderlying these mysterio.s phenomena: Krishnam.rti 0asn*t
on the point of offering his3 either:
O.r amiable con6ersation contin.ed amidst m.ch light8hearted la.ghter as I
tal9ed briefly abo.t c.rrent 0orld affairs3 s.ch as the 0ithdra0al of (:!: forces
from $ebanon3 ho0 the abolition of 'oman Catholicism as a state religion had
affected Italy3 and some of Margaret Thatcher*s recent prono.ncements on
.ropean (nion: This apparently reminded Krishnam.rti of something am.sing3
beca.se he @.ietly started la.ghing to himself: )e re6ealed the so.rce of his
en1oyment as +a.l Thero.?*s The Kin#dom b" the Dea3 a boo9 he had been
reading o6er the last fe0 days: !ome of the character description of the nglish
he fo.nd so comical and acc.rately obser6ed that he bro9e o.t in lo.d la.ghter
0hile telling .s abo.t it:
Thro.gho.t his life3 Krishnam.rti s.stained a c.rio.s lo6e8hate relationship
0ith things -ritish: -ritain 0as at the height of her imperial po0er 0hen the
simple -rahmin boy from the !o.th Indian bac90aters 0as introd.ced to the
pinnacle of 0estern c.lt.re: "ristocrats too9 him .nder their 0ing3 imb.ing him
0ith the standards of proper li6ing: "ltho.gh he had the impeccable manners of a
prince3 he 0as occasionally confronted 0ith racial discrimination beca.se of his
dar9 s9in: )e maintained a s9eptical attit.de to0ard the st.ffy and often silly
con6entions3 in 0hich -ritish society abo.nded: R.ite 9no0ledgeable abo.t the
eccentricities of the r.ling classes3 he li9ed to po9e f.n at their abs.rdities:
specially the monarchy3 the cornerstone of the empire3 0as anathema to him:
)e sa0 it as a grotes@.e and obsolete instit.tion: C.rio.sly3 0e had a fe0
royalists among .s3 0ho fondly follo0ed the royal antics in the ne0s media:
#hene6er any tabloid gossip abo.t +rince and R.een 0as bro.ght .p at the
table3 Krishnam.rti 0o.ld co6er his ears 0ith both hands and e?claim 0ith
ang.ish3 2No3 no3 don*t tal9 abo.t that r.bbish: #hat rot it all isL5
J
T0o days later3 Krishnam.rti3 accompanied by Mary >: and "sit Chandmal3
departed for Ne0 7or9 City3 0here3 on the 0ee9end of "pril 1E T 1=3 he ga6e
t0o p.blic tal9s at the ,elt ,or.m in Madison !@.are &arden: T0o days later he
0as in6ited to spea9 at the H+acem in Terris* !ociety at the (nited Nations:
J
The day after his ret.rn3 !at.rday3 "pril M13 there 0ere only fi6e people for
l.nch: I 0as preparing a meal of &ree9 salad3 c.c.mber and yog.rt salad3
asparag.s so.p3 6egetarian mo.ssa9a and G.cchini in tomato sa.ce3 0ith
persimmon cream for dessert3 0hen Krishnam.rti bris9ly entered the 9itchen: )e
didn*t loo9 tired from his ten days in the -ig "pple3 b.t rather energiGed: "fter
0e had e?changed greetings3 I as9ed him3 2)o0 did it go3 Krishna1i45
)e 0asn*t @.ite in the mood to pro6ide me 0ith a detailed acco.nt of the past
fe0 days3 other than to say there had been a large a.dience and that it had
act.ally gone @.ite 0ell:
I noticed that he 0as n.rsing one hand3 a finger of 0hich 0as bandaged:
2#hat happened to yo.r hand3 Krishna1i45
)e loo9ed at it and replied 0ith a dismissi6e gest.re3 2#e 0ent to a
resta.rant3 and someone closed the car door on it as I 0as getting into the car:5
I 0inced at the tho.ght of the penetrating pain:
)e @.ic9ly added3 2Of co.rse3 he didn*t mean to do it: )e 1.st 0as not paying
attention: -.t no0 it*s almost healed:5 This triggered another memory 0hich got
him fired .p: 2"nd 0e had some 0onderf.l food: They 0ere small3 ro.nd things3
green3 and melted in one*s mo.th3 simply delicio.s: Can yo. ma9e those3 sir45
I had ne6er before heard him ra6e abo.t food: )e had often declaredC@.ite
tr.thf.lly3 no do.btCthat food bored him: I 0as both s.rprised and slightly ta9en
abac9 by his re@.est to d.plicate a c.linary feat 0ith only the most r.dimentary
description: I @.iGGed him for greater details3 b.t his c.linary perception 0as
rather 6ag.eA he co.ld gi6e only a general description of the itemsCgreen3
ro.ndish3 cylindrical3 maybe made from spinach3 and definitely Italian3 6ery
delicate: I promised to gi6e it a try if I co.ld find a recipe that came close to his
description: #hen I later as9ed Mary >: abo.t the mystery dish3 she confirmed
that it 0as #nocchi verde3 spinach d.mplings:
C.rio.s abo.t the resta.rant3 I as9ed him3 2#hat 9ind of a resta.rant 0as it3
Krishna1i45
2It 0as fairly small b.t e?cellently appointedA the finest table0are3 crystal and
all that3 in the Italian part of to0n: It 0as called HIl Nido* 0hich means HThe
Nest*: #hen 0e 0ent there3 I spo9e Italian 0ith the maitre d7 and the 0aiter3 and
they sho0ed .s to the best table in a corner by the 0indo0: 6erything 0as first
class: #e 0ent there almost e6ery day35 he reco.nted3 0ith a bea.tif.l
e?pression on his face3 mirroring the delightf.l e?perience:
2#hat 9ind of dishes did yo. ha6e3 sir45
)is memory faltered a little: 2There 0as pastaChomemade3 of co.rse3
0onderf.lly light and delicio.s: "nd they had the most mar6elo.s tomato sa.ce3
made from fresh tomatoes 0ith 1.st a to.ch of basilC6ery simple and delicately
fragrant:5
I made a mental note to prepare a sa.ce li9e that: -.t there is al0ays a
tremendo.s handicap 0hen one tries to recreate a specific dish3 especially if it
has been made by a master chef3 as the one at HIl Nido* do.btlessly 0as: 6en the
most precise recipe 0on*t necessarily enable one to e@.al the original: !e6eral
factors may be responsible for thisA the legendary tiny ingredient3 0hich the chef
retains as his personal secret3 or3 more li9ely3 a certain intangible @.ality3 hard to
define b.t ha6ing to do 0ith to.ch3 e?pertise and timing: This is not to say that
coo9boo9s are .seless: On the contrary3 recipes are often a 0onderf.l lin9
bet0een 0ord and reality: -.t it is a to.gh proposition to recreate a dish
pre6io.sly tasted at home or in a resta.rant3 beca.se in6ariably many comple?
factors combine to ma9e a taste e?perience:
2They also had e?cellent 0ines35 Krishnam.rti remar9ed:
2-.t Krishna1i3 I tho.ght yo. didn*t drin9:5
)e smiled at me reass.ringly: 2No3 sir3 I don*t drin9 0ineCb.t the others did:
I tasted a drop or t0oC1.st to see 0hat it tasted li9e:5
"ltho.gh he disappro6ed of alcohol as an escape3 he had many friends of
,rench and Italian origin 0ho @.ite nat.rally too9 0ine d.ring their meals: )e
didn*t seem to mind3 and often his host or hostess 0o.ld offer it to his g.ests as a
matter of co.rse:
I 0ent on a h.nt for a #nocchi verde recipe and soon fo.nd one: Caref.lly
follo0ing the prescribed steps3 I prepared and ser6ed them for l.nch: "fter0ards3
I as9ed Krishnann.rti 0hether they resembled the ones he had had at the
resta.rant: )e responded 0ith polite honesty3 2Not @.ite3 sir:5
" fe0 days later3 I ga6e it another go: This time Krishnam.rti hesitated3
sa6ored the te?t.re and the fla6or3 and declared3 2#ell3 it*s a bit closer3 b.t still
not @.ite the same:5
I left it at that3 gi6ing .p the desire to imitate or competeCat least3 in regard
to spinach d.mplings:
J
The end of "pril 0as a time of s.btle change: There 0as contin.ing .nrest and
dissatisfaction at the !chool3 0itho.t a resol.tion in sightA Krishnam.rti 0as f.ll
of energy and straining to do ne0 things3 0anting to meet ne0 challenges: "
gentleman from #ashington3 %:C:3 0ho had been a speech 0riter for s.ccessi6e
(:!: go6ernment administrations3 came to 6isit .s at the end of "pril: )e 0as an
elo@.ent and 1oc.lar man3 6ery interested in Krishnam.rti and his 0or93 and
s.ggested that he gi6e p.blic tal9s in the 6ery citadel of global po0er:
Krishnam.rti li9ed the idea and3 after caref.l deliberation3 agreed to ta9e on the
challenge: %efinite plans and preparations 0ere set in motion for him to spea9 at
the Kennedy Center in #ashington3 %:C:3 one year hence3 in "pril 19;=:
J
O.r ne0 friend from #ashington3 %:C:3 en1oyed telling 1o9es and had a good
repertoire: Krishnam.rti li9ed his o.tgoing nat.re3 and they traded 1o9es and
anecdotes at the l.nch table: "fter hearing a slightly risGu? 1o9e abo.t the +ope3
entitled HT.tti ,r.tti*3 Krishnam.rti told one that I had not heard before:
2T0o friends3 one of them a bishop3 die in a car crash: They go .p to hea6en
and meet !t: +eter: Neither of them has sinned too m.ch3 so he lets them in: "nd
he says to them3 HIf yo. ha6e any special re@.est3 tell me no03 and I*ll see to it
that it gets done:* The bishop3 a religio.s person3 as9s to see &od: !t: +eter is
startled by his re@.est and tries to diss.ade him3 H!eeing &od is a 6ery sensiti6e
affairCit*s 6ery shoc9ing: ,e0 people can stand it: If I may ad6ise yo.3 please
don*t insist on this:* -.t the man is adamant and insists on his 0ish: ,inally !t:
+eter gi6es in and tells him3 H/ery 0ell3 if yo. insist: <.st don*t blame me
after0ards: &o that 0ay and follo0 the signsA H&od*: "nd don*t forget to come
bac9 here:* Off he goes to see &od3 0hile his friend 0aits 0ith !t: +eter for his
ret.rn: It ta9es ten or fifteen min.tes before he ret.rns: )e is a mere shado0 of
himself3 as pale as a ghost3 and staggering abo.t in deep shoc9: )is friend is
concerned to see him in this state and says3 H-y <o6e3 0hat*s happened to yo.4
#hat 0as )e li9e4* -.t the man can only moan3 H!he*s blac9:*5
This earned a good ro.nd of la.ghter: "fter 0e had t.rned more serio.s
again3 0e started tal9ing abo.t organiGed religions3 sects and c.lts3 and especially
Christianity: I 0as act.ally @.ite startled 0hen3 o.t of the bl.e3 Krishnam.rti
addressed o.r g.est and said boldly3 2<es.s Christ may ne6er ha6e e?isted: There
is no ob1ecti6e3 independent doc.ment from that period 0hich mentions his
name: "ll 0e really 9no0 is 0hat the apostles and e6angelists 0rote fifty or a
h.ndred years later3 and they might ha6e 1.st in6ented the 0hole thing:5
+ractically e6eryone at the table seemed to be as startled as I 0as3 especially
since Krishnam.rti 0as @.ite in earnest 0hen he made his statement: "ll too
often his 6ie0s 0ere .n@.estioningly accepted3 b.t no0 he 0as s.ddenly
confronted by a small storm of 6ocifero.s protest3 2-.t Krishna1i3 that*s really
too far8fetched: )o0:::45
)e @.ite en1oyed stirring .p contro6ersy: 6ent.ally it became clear that he
had read a boo9 by an Italian historian3 milio Mella3 0ho claimed to ha6e done
the most painsta9ing research into the records 9ept by the 'oman a.thorities3
0ho administered <.daea and +alestine at the beginning of the Christian era:
2The 'omans at that time 9ept metic.lo.s records of all the e?ec.tions 0ithin
their 1.risdiction35 he e?plained3 @.ite con6inced by 0hat he had read: 2"nd none
of them contains the name of <es.s:5
2-.t3 Krishna1i3 that doesn*t mean that the person <es.s ne6er e?isted35 a lady
ob1ected:
2"nd doc.ments do get lost35 a teacher conc.rred: 2This 0as t0o tho.sand
years ago:5
"n .n.s.ally animated bac98and8forth of logical and historical arg.ments
ens.ed3 before Krishnam.rti finally conceded that in all li9elihood there had been
someone called <es.s Oor <osh.aP: -.t3 he insisted3 this religio.s teacher differed
s.bstantially from the images of pop.lar tradition and had nothing to do 0ith the
fig.re official Christendom had created:
It 0as after l.nch a fe0 days later3 and Krishnam.rti 0as 1.st carrying some
pots into the 9itchen3 0hen the doorbell rang: I 0ent to ans0er it and fo.nd a
middle8aged man standing on the threshold 0ith a bo.@.et of flo0ers in his
hands: )e solemnly as9ed me 0hether he co.ld see Mr: Krishnam.rti: I 6ag.ely
remembered ha6ing seen him before: )e 0as a self8styled spirit.al teacher3 0ith
his o0n system of beliefs in 0hich he tried to combine Christian elements 0ith
aspects of Krishnam.rti*s teachings:
)e 0as of gentle demeanor and politely ga6e me his name: I as9ed him to
0ait 0hile I con6eyed his re@.est to Krishnam.rti3 0ho 0as still in the 9itchen:
Krishnam.rti seemed s.rprised by the man*s .ne?pected appearance and
hesitated a moment before going to meet him: #hile I contin.ed to clear the
table3 I ca.ght snippets of their con6ersation: 6idently3 they had met before:
Krishnam.rti 0as emphasiGing a point he 0as ma9ing3 incongr.o.sly 0a6ing the
b.nch of flo0ers: The 6isitor3 barely t0o steps inside the ho.se3 0ith the door
still open behind him3 seemed persistent: Krishnam.rti stated emphatically3
2Nobody e6en 9no0s if <es.s e6er e?isted:::5
#hen I reentered the dining room a min.te later3 he 0as saying3 2The
'omans at that time 9ept metic.lo.s records of all their co.rt proceedings and
e?ec.tions: The name <es.s 0asn*t mentioned once on their lists of e?ec.tions:::5
!e6eral moments later I sa0 both of them 0al9ing o6er to +ine Cottage:
#hen I as9ed Krishnam.rti abo.t it the follo0ing day3 he only commented3 2#e
1.st had tea and a brief chat:5
Cha%ter -0
, $ I & ) T O ,
T ) " & $
Starters
,aby limestone lettuce with
vinaigrette or Ro+uefort dressing.
'herry tomatoes and alfalfa sprouts.
Red cabbage coleslaw, prepared with
cumin seeds, capers and chopped olives.
rated zucchini, with a touch of lime.
Main Dishes
Rice $roven=al, with currants and
cashew nuts, accompanied by a
mushroom sauce with 7(armite8 Byeast e*tractC.
'rustless spinach +uiche ; trois fromage
prepared with fresh goat cheese,
grated ruy!re and $armesan cheeses.
Dessert
,lac% mission figs preserved in honey
and lemon, served with vanilla#flavored
whipped cream.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
On May M 0e had an early l.nch3 so that Krishnam.rti and Mary >: co.ld lea6e
in time to get to !anta -arbara3 from 0here they 0ere to fly to !an ,rancisco: "
fe0 ho.rs after their depart.re3 I also set o.t for the City on the -ay: %ri6ing
along )igh0ay 1I13 I en1oyed the scenery of oa98st.dded3 ro.nded hills3 0hose
green 0as t.rning gold in the rays of the hot s.n:
On !at.rday and !.nday morning3 Krishnam.rti ga6e t0o tal9s at the
Masonic Temple: I helped 0ith the setting .p of the boo9 stalls and 0ith the sale
of boo9s and tapes: %.ring the second tal9 he spo9e again of t0o friends 0al9ing
along a shaded path thro.gh 0oods3 tal9ing abo.t their serio.s concerns: It
mo6ed me3 and I tho.ght of myself as one of these friends: 'ight after the tal9 on
!.nday I dro6e bac9 so.th to O1ai3 so that I 0o.ld be bac9 in time to prepare
l.nch the ne?t day: It t.rned o.t that there 0ere only fo.r of .s: It 0as great f.n
to tal9 0ith Krishnam.rti at leis.re abo.t o.r common 0ee9end in the -ay "rea:
#hile 6isiting some friends on the ast -ay3 I had stopped near the .ni6ersity
camp.s at -er9eley to bro0se thro.gh some of the enormo.s second8hand
boo9stores along Telegraph "6en.e: To my delight3 I chanced .pon a copy of
Thero.?*s The 'ata#onian J,%ress: It 0as almost ne03 its d.st8co6er protected
by a plastic co6ering: I bo.ght it beca.se I 9ne0 that Krishnam.rti had
de6eloped a fondness for Thero.?*s ironic style of 0riting3 and after reading The
Areat Asian Kailwa" CaLaar had been loo9ing for this second rail0ay ad6ent.re3
b.t 0itho.t s.ccess:
Krishnam.rti 0as on the point of lea6ing the 9itchen to ret.rn to +ine
Cottage3 0hen it occ.rred to me that this might be a good moment to present the
boo9 to him: I called after him3 2+lease3 Krishna1i3 1.st a moment:5
)e t.rned aro.nd3 an e?pression of e@.animity and great patience on his face:
2#hat is it3 Michael45 he as9ed mildly:
2I fo.nd the boo935 I eagerly sp.ttered3 handing him the boo93 0ith a brief
acco.nt of ho0 I had located it:
)is response 0as different from 0hat I had e?pected: Instead of ta9ing the
boo93 0hich I held o.t to him3 he loo9ed at it apprehensi6ely3 as if it might
harbor hidden danger: )e hesitatingly stretched o.t a hand and briefly to.ched
the plastic co6er 0ith one fingertip3 s0iftly 0ithdra0ing it: 2)a6e yo. 0ashed
it45 he as9ed:
I felt perple?ed: 2#ashed it45 I repeated:
2It*s a .sed boo93 second8hand3 isn*t it4 Many people might ha6e to.ched it3
sir3 and it might be dirty:5
It too9 me a second to follo0 his train of tho.ght: ,or a brief moment I felt
the .rge to b.rst o.t la.ghing3 since the image of myself standing o6er the sin93
0ashing each single page of the boo9 0ith soap and sponge3 appeared @.ite
l.dicro.s: 2That*s tr.e3 Krishna1i35 I responded3 still at a loss 0hat to do abo.t it:
2<.st 0ash the co6er and inside3 and gi6e it to me later35 he said3 before
e?iting the 9itchen:
#hile I 0ent abo.t scr.bbing the boo9 0ith soap and 0ater3 I pondered his
attit.de to0ard hygiene and cleanliness: I had noticed his sensiti6ity to the
physicalCnot only his appreciation of clean appearance and clean clothes3 b.t
also his a6ersion to cas.al contact 0ith anything dirty3 or to.ched by many
hands: This 0as probably the reason he 0ore fine leather glo6es 0hen tra6eling
in cars3 trains and airplanes:
I started drying the la.ndered boo9 0ith a clean dishto0el: $ater that
afternoon I too9 the boo93 together 0ith some so.p for dinner3 o6er to +ine
Cottage:
J
Nine of .s 0ere present for l.nch on !at.rday3 May 1M: In the co.rse of the
con6ersation Krishnam.rti contrasted interest and attention3 themes he later
p.rs.ed d.ring staff meetings and at the p.blic tal9s: "fter t0o ho.rs of li6ely
con6ersation3 0e arri6ed at t0o statements 0hich encaps.lated the gist of o.r
in@.iry3 H"ttention is learningK interest is non8attention*:
Three days later3 Krishnam.rti met the school staff in the sitting room of "rya
/ihara at fo.r o*cloc9 in the afternoon: I recorded the session on a tape recorder:
)e started o.t by declaring that the tr.e ob1ecti6e of ed.cation 0as the ending of
the self: !ince psychological 9no0ledge was the self3 it implied the ending of that
9ind of 9no0ledge: )e 0as 6ery m.ch against a0a9ening the Hinterest* of the
child in a partic.lar field3 beca.se interest 0as fragmentary3 0hile attention 0as
0hole:
2The ending of self8interest is the beginning of intelligence35 he pointed o.t:
#e proceeded to re6ise a statement originally 0ritten by him in 197= and
9no0n as HThe Intent of the Oa9 &ro6e !chool*: It aimed to pro6ide a clear
o.tline of the raison d7Mtre of the school: !e6eral of its form.lations seemed
some0hat 6ag.e or3 in some instances3 too radical: !ince 0e all felt the need for
a clear and precise statement3 0e 0ent o6er it together3 re0ording it:
Krishnam.rti set the tone: #e agreed that the school 0as to be Han oasis::: 0here
one can learn a 0ay of li6ing that is 0hole3 sane and intelligent*: "nd the p.rpose
of o.r ed.cational endea6ors3 both in regard to the st.dents as 0ell as to
o.rsel6es3 0as Hto bring abo.t a profo.nd change in the conscio.sness of
man9ind*: In s.bse@.ent years this statement 0as not only a g.ideline and
inspiration3 b.t also the focal point of m.ch heated disc.ssion among the staff:
J
Only a fe0 more days to the 19;E O1ai Tal9s: The 0eather had been
.nseasonably hot3 and the s.n contin.ed to scorch the hills and 6alleys:
There 0ere ele6en of .s for l.nch that day: "mong the reg.lar g.ests 0as one
relati6e ne0comer3 0ho had come to O1ai for the first time: )e 0as of small
b.ild3 in his mid8fifties3 balding3 and he 0ore glasses: #hen 0e 0ere introd.ced
to one another3 he told me that he 0as originally from &ermany b.t had been
li6ing in !0itGerland for many years: )is disco6ery three years earlier of
Krishnam.rti*s teachings had dramatically changed his life: 'ecently retired from
the family b.siness3 he 0as no0 spending most of his time and energy e?ploring
the deeper @.estions of life: The pre6io.s year3 he had heard Krishnam.rti spea9
at !aanen for the first time and had e6ent.ally met him in person: They soon
str.c9 .p a friendship3 0hich had affected him profo.ndly: "fter 6isiting
-roc90ood +ar93 he offered to s.pport Krishnam.rti*s 0or9 0ith his
considerable reso.rces:
I 0as sitting opposite Krishnam.rti at table3 and ,riedrich &roheC0hich 0as
the man*s nameC0as to my right: Krishnam.rti and a lady on his left 0ere
tal9ing abo.t a third person3 0ho 0as not present3 describing him as a real Hstic98
in8the8m.d*: I had been listening to their con6ersation and 0as p.GGled by the
e?pression: !ince I didn*t 9no0 its meaning3 I said to Krishnam.rti3 2?c.se me3
Krishna1i3 0hat does it meanCstic98in8the8m.d45
)e pa.sed and3 after a moment*s deliberation3 ans0ered3 2" d.ll person
0itho.t any initiati6e:5
Mr: &rohe 0as fl.ent in both &erman and ,rench and normally con6ersed
0ith Krishnam.rti in ,rench: "ltho.gh he had a good .nderstanding of nglish3
he felt shy spea9ing it: " soft8spo9en3 modest person3 he no0 as9ed me in a lo0
6oice 0hat the phrase meant in &erman3 since he had not @.ite heard
Krishnam.rti*s e?planation: I co.ldn*t immediately thin9 of an e@.i6alent phrase
in &erman and didn*t e6en 9no0 if one e?isted3 so I simply translated it 0ord for
0ord and said3 2Dtock im Dchlamm:5 +honetically3 it came across as Dhtok im
Dhlumm:
Krishnam.rti had obser6ed the e?change bet0een Mr: &rohe and myself:
#hen I .ttered the 0ords3 he b.rst into s.rprised la.ghter and e?claimed3 2#hat4
#hat is that3 sir45
2#ell3 Mr: &rohe didn*t 9no0 0hat:::5
27es3 yes3 I 9no0 that3 b.t 0hat did yo. 1.st say45
I felt a bit self8conscio.s and said3 2#ell3 I translated the e?pression Hstic98in8
the8m.d* 0ord for 0ord into &erman3 as there may not be an e?act e@.i6alent: It
means3 Dtock im Dchlamm:5
#hen I prono.nced the &erman phrase3 Krishnam.rti again b.rst into
e?.berant la.ghter: The other people at the table3 0ho had been listening to o.r
con6ersation3 1oined in the merrimentCperhaps beca.se of the onomatopoeic
@.ality of the 0ords and their Te.tonic ring: Mr: &rohe and myself3 as the
&erman contingent3 needed a moment to get o6er o.r self8conscio.sness3 before
0e also 1oined in the la.ghter: "fter it had died do0n a little3 Krishnam.rti
loo9ed at me 0ith a t0in9le in his eye and chortled3 2!ay it again3 sir:5
-y this time I had started to appreciate my role as comic and intoned 0ith
increased 6ol.me3 2Dtock im Dchlamm65
There 0as another ro.nd of la.ghter: It 0as 0onderf.l to see Krishnam.rti in
s.ch a 1olly mood3 completely abandoning himself to the common cheer3
la.ghing hard 0ith his head thro0n bac9 and tears r.nning do0n his chee9s: )is
0hole being seemed to be sha9ing 0ith physical 0a6es of delight: #hen the
am.sement had calmed do0n3 he tried to prono.nce the phrase: -.t he co.ldn*t
@.ite form the &ermanic so.nds3 bl.rring the consonants: 6eryone 1oined in
another ro.nd of 1oyo.s la.ghter3 as I corrected him and slo0ly prono.nced each
syllable3 2DhBtokk imm shBlumm:5
Interr.pting himself 0ith b.rsts of la.ghter3 he tried again3 6oicing the 0ords
more acc.rately b.t still imperfectly:
2No3 sirA DhBtokk imm shBlumm:5
)e 0atched my lips as I shaped the so.nds and tried again3 to e6eryone*s
am.sement: #e 0ent bac9 and forth a fe0 more timesK then3 0itho.t getting it
@.ite right3 0e e6ent.ally stopped3 e?ha.sted from sheer la.ghter:
Moments later3 0hen e6eryone had left3 I still sensed the after86ibrations of
o.r high spirits: "lone in the 9itchen3 I reflected on this 0hole la.ghing matter: It
occ.rred to me that3 from a higher point of 6ie03 most of .s3 incl.ding myself3
co.ld be described as stic98in8the8m.ds: I released a b.rst of la.ghter into the
@.iet3 solitary 9itchen: 7es3 that probably 0as the real 1o9e:
More than e6er3 I had come to appreciate Krishnam.rti*s 0onderf.l sense of
h.mor: )is insightf.l 0ords abo.t h.mor3 0hich rang so tr.e3 came to my mindA
2$a.ghter is part of serio.sness: !erio.sness doesn*t e?cl.de 1oy3 en1oyment:
).mor means really to la.gh at oneself3 1.st to loo9 at o.rsel6es 0ith la.ghter3 to
obser6e 0ith clarity3 0ith serio.sness3 and yet 0ith la.ghter if one can:5
)e 0as ready to la.gh3 not only at the ironies and abs.rdities of other
people*s li6es3 b.t3 more than anything3 at himself and at the ridic.lo.s sit.ations
in 0hich he sometimes fo.nd himself:
J
On T.esday3 May MM3 Krishnam.rti had 1.st sat do0n on the 0ooden folding
chair for the @.estion8and8ans0er meeting3 0hen a yo.ng 0oman 1.mped onto
the platform and @.ic9ly ass.med the lot.s post.re at his feet3 staring and smiling
at him 0ith froGen fascination: ,or a split second he seemed startled by the
.ne?pected interr.ption3 e?claiming3 2#hat the:::L5
T0o 6ol.nteers in the front ro0 sprang to their feet3 intent on restraining the
0oman and remo6ing her from the stage3 b.t Krishnam.rti had s0iftly grasped
the sit.ation and 0a6ed bac9 the t0o yo.ng men: -ending do0n to the 0oman3
0ho had a slightly moronic grin on her face3 he said3 2!he*ll be @.iet here3 0on*t
yo.4 Then yo. can sit there:5 !he happily nodded her head in silent agreement3
remaining at his feet .ntil the end of the dialog.e: Then he bent do0n again and
said to her3 2It*s o6er no03 yo. can get .p:5
J
On the hot3 s.nny afternoon that same day3 0e 0ere going to commemorate the
completion of the ne0 )igh !chool b.ildings 0ith a tree8planting ceremony: The
comple?3 0hich incl.ded se6eral classrooms and a library3 ad1oined the Oa9
&ro6e to0ard the north: There 0ere close to t0o h.ndred people milling abo.tC
tr.stees3 school staff3 parents and st.dents3 6ol.nteers and participants at the
tal9s: !ipping 1.ice and tea and nibbling on coo9ies3 they 0ere in6ol6ed in li6ely
con6ersations:
"t last the grey Mercedes p.lled .p3 and Krishnam.rti shyly emerged on the
passenger side: )e 0as dressed 0ith simple elegance3 the only incongr.ity being
the 1ogging shoes he 0as 0earing for the occasion: )e greeted those 0ho came to
sha9e his hand and to e?change a fe0 0ords3 smiling reser6edly:
The tall director3 0ho 0as in charge of organiGing the tal9s3 led him to 0here
the trees 0ere to be planted: !e6en of .s 0al9ed behind him3 0hile the other
g.ests grad.ally ambled o6er: )e caref.lly st.died the trees3 listening to the
director*s e?planation3 2These here3 Krishna1i3 are li@.id amber: In fall their
lea6es t.rn bright red and orange: "nd this is a peep.l tree:5
Thro.gho.t his life3 Krishnam.rti had been in lo6e 0ith the earth and all
li6ing things3 reser6ing a special fondness for trees: Once he had said3 2If yo.
establish a relationship 0ith the tree3 then yo. ha6e relationship 0ith man9ind:5
On another occasion he tal9ed abo.t listening to the Hsilent so.nd of the roots*:
#itho.t f.rther ado3 he no0 pic9ed .p a sho6el3 0hile t0o of .s lifted the hea6y
pot 0ith the peep.l Oor bodhiP tree sapling and placed it in the hole3 0hich had
already been d.g: )e 0as 0atching closely 0hat 0e 0ere doing and immediately
noticed 0hat 0as 0rong: 2This isn*t deep eno.gh3 sir35 he said: 27o. ha6e to
ta9e it o.t again3 so that 0e can dig o.t more soil:5
"fter lifting the pot o.t again3 fo.r of .s3 incl.ding Krishnam.rti3 scraped o.t
more soil: 6ery so often3 I .sed a pic9a?e to loosen a roc9 at the bottom of the
hole: "bsorbed by the stren.o.s physical acti6ity3 one easily forgot that it 0as
Krishnam.rti3 almost eighty8nine years old3 0ho 0as there right ne?t to .s
yo.ngsters3 0ielding the sho6el 0hole8heartedly: " circle of spectators had
formed at a respectf.l distance3 some of them ta9ing snapshots of him digging
the gro.nd: Krishnam.rti didn*t mind the odd sit.ationCperforming man.al
labor in front of an a.dienceA he happily ga6e his f.ll attention and energy to the
sacred tas9 of planting trees:
2There is a big roc9 there3 sir35 he pointed o.t3 startling me from a moment*s
idle contemplation:
2Oh3 I*m sorry3 sir35 I said3 and got to 0or93 s0inging the long3 0ooden8
handled tool3 bringing it do0n on the pac9ed earth3 loosening its hold aro.nd the
roc9: ,inally the hole 0as deep eno.gh and3 once the sapling 0as properly
le6eled3 0e remo6ed the plastic shelling of the pot and filled the gap 0ith soil:
Then all of .s proceeded to compact the soil aro.nd the slender tr.n9 of the
sapling by stomping it tight: #e left a slightly indented circle close to the tr.n93
so that the 0ater 0hich someone 0as no0 spraying from a hose 0o.ld not
immediately r.n off b.t collect close to the root system: #e 0ent on li9e this
0ith se6eral more trees3 Krishnam.rti sho0ing no signs of fatig.e: !ome of the
male onloo9ers got a taste of the action and3 demanding sho6els3 1oined the 0or9
force: Th.s3 it too9 less than an ho.r to plant fifteen to t0enty ne0 trees: #hen
0e 0ere done3 Krishnam.rti loo9ed 0ith a tender and satisfied smile at the yo.ng
plants dotting the la0n in front of the ne0 school b.ildings:
J
The afternoon after the fo.rth and final tal93 Monday3 May M;3 Krishnam.rti met
0ith the tr.stees and staff at +ine Cottage to disc.ss the persisting diffic.lties at
the school: "fter a long and li6ely disc.ssion3 a n.mber of administrati6e
changes 0ere anno.nced3 incl.ding the appointment of a ne0 principal of the
)igh !chool:
The follo0ing day3 se6eral celebrities 1oined .s for l.nch: "t table one of
them3 a film actor3 sat facing Krishnam.rti3 0hile I fo.nd myself at the far end3
.nable to follo0 their con6ersation: "fter l.nch3 I noticed that Krishnam.rti and
the actor 0al9ed together to +ine Cottage:
The ne?t morning aro.nd ; a:m:3 there 0as a partial solar eclipse3 0hich I 0as
able to obser6e: #hen Krishnam.rti entered the 9itchen aro.nd 1AMI p:m:3 I still
retained some c.riosity abo.t o.r g.est from the preceding day:
2?c.se me3 Krishna1i35 I as9ed3 2the gentleman 0ith 0hom yo. tal9ed
yesterdayCis he an interesting person3 did he as9 any good @.estions45
)e loo9ed at me 0ith an am.sed e?pression in his eyes and then ans0ered
diplomatically3 2"h3 yo. 9no03 sir3 actors seldom 9no0 0ho they really are:5
Initially3 I too9 his ans0er to refer to actors only3 .ntil3 .pon reflection3 it
occ.rred to me that it held tr.e for most of .s: #ho really 9ne0 0ho he or she
0as4 "ccording to some3 not e6en Krishnam.rti f.lly 9ne0 0ho or 0hat he 0as:
)e 9ept on @.estioning3 in@.iring and learning3 and he ne6er seemed to come to a
definiti6e concl.sion:
J
In contrast to the l.nches of the past fe0 0ee9s3 0e 0ere a small gro.p of only
ten people that day: There 0ere three former colleag.es of o.rs3 one of 0hom
0as earning his doctorate in philosophy at O?ford (ni6ersityK the second 0as
employed in a constr.ction b.sinessK 0hile the third had 1oined a small3 high8tech
international company in a senior position: To0ard the end of the l.ncheon3
Krishnam.rti reco.nted a 1o9e3 something he hadn*t done for a 0hile: ,or no
partic.lar reason3 he started by as9ing3 2%o yo. mind if I tell yo. a good 1o9e3
0hich I heard the other day45
2+lease3 sir35 I eagerly responded3 and the others nodded in agreement:
2There are three mon9s3 0ho ha6e been sitting in deep meditation for many
years amidst the )imalayan sno0 pea9s3 ne6er spea9ing a 0ord3 in .tter silence:
One morning3 one of the three s.ddenly spea9s .p and says3 H#hat a lo6ely
morning this is:* "nd he falls silent again: ,i6e years of silence pass3 0hen all at
once the second mon9 spea9s .p and says3 H-.t 0e co.ld do 0ith some rain:*
There is deep silence among them for another fi6e years3 0hen s.ddenly the third
mon9 says3 H#hy can*t yo. t0o stop chattering4*5
"ll of .s crac9ed .p and en1oyed a good ro.nd of la.ghter3 before 0e rose
from the table:
J
The past 0ee9s and months had been b.sy3 both at the Oa9 &ro6e and at "rya
/ihara: " stream of 6isitors and celebrities came and 0ent3 in addition to the
reg.lar infl.? of tr.stees and teachers: The l.ncheons at ":/: had been 0ell
attended3 often by o6er t0enty g.ests at a timeC0hich3 of co.rse3 considerably
increased my 0or9load:
Krishnam.rti contin.ed faithf.lly to enter the 9itchen thro.gh the patio door3
and 0e had o.r brief3 affectionate pre8l.nch con6ersation: 6en so3 I e?perienced
a sense of dissatisfaction3 0itho.t being able to percei6e its ca.se: Opport.nities
to present my ne0s reports had recently diminished: 6ery so often Krishnam.rti
0o.ld approach me in the 9itchen after l.nch and as93 1.st bet0een the t0o of .s3
2#hat*s the ne0s3 sir45 "nd I 0o.ld 6ery briefly @.ote a headline or gi6e a t0o8
sentence s.mmary of a note0orthy item: This3 of co.rse3 0asn*t @.ite the same
as the leis.rely presentation at table3 0hich I had come to cherish:
Occasionally I tho.ght I 0as e?periencing pangs of 1ealo.sy3 0hen I sa0
gro.ps of g.ests trooping off for a 0al9 0ith Krishnam.rti 0hile I had to dri6e
into to0n to shop and r.n errands: More than anything3 I 0anted to see o.r
friendship confirmed and flo0ering3 less thro.gh any action of hisCbeca.se I
sensed his care and affection as strongly as e6erCthan thro.gh an action of mine:
O.t of some personal need3 perhaps a sense of inade@.acy3 I had the .rge to
e?press my feelings to himA that I 0as his friend: It 0as slightly irrational3 b.t I
co.ldn*t sha9e it off: I 0anted to ma9e s.re he 9ne0 I 0as his friend:
On May F13 the day before his depart.re for ngland3 he entered the 9itchen
in his .s.al manner: "fter 0e had e?changed greetings3 I said boldly b.t
hesitantly3 2Krishna1i3 there is something I 0o.ld li9e to tell yo.Cif yo. don*t
mind:5
)is easygoing demeanor s0iftly changed3 and a bright alertness came o6er
him3 2"ll right3 sir3 go ahead:5
I started to feel e?tremely self8conscio.s3 as he held me in his steady gaGe:
2I::: I 0anted to tell yo.3 I mean3 I 0anted to ass.re yo.:::5
2Come to the point3 sir35 he said impatiently:
2I 1.st 0ant to tell yo.3 Krishna1i3 that I am yo.r friend:5
2"ll right3 sir35 he said3 and the sharpness softened: 2/ery 0ell3 Michael:
No0 let*s go and ha6e l.nch: I thin9 the others are 0aiting:5
I 9ne0 that he abhorred all sentimentality or any display of personal
emotions3 altho.gh he 0as a tr.ly passionate person: )e 0as 0ont to e?press his
deep affection indirectly3 s.ch as d.ring dialog.es 0ith the staff and tr.stees3
0hen I had heard him say3 2If I say I lo6e yo.3 0ill yo. listen to it4 Or 0ill yo.
come .p 0ith all sorts of @.estions and ob1ectionsA )o0 m.ch do yo. lo6e me4
)o0 long 0ill yo. lo6e me3 and so on4 I lo6e yo.Cthat*s all:5
6en then3 the tr.e meas.re of affection 0as in his action and in the care 0ith
0hich he enco.ntered each person: "t the moment3 ho0e6er3 tho.gh he did not
respond f.rther and I hadn*t e?pected anything b.t his @.iet listening3 I felt good
and relie6ed abo.t my simple confession of friendship:
The l.nch that follo0ed 0as a small3 friendly affair: "part from se6en
reg.lars3 an old friend from Mo.nt !hasta in Northern California 0as 1oining .s
for l.nch: #e tal9ed abo.t 0orld affairs and mythology: I had recently read some
of <oseph Campbell*s boo9s on 0orld myths and as9ed Krishnam.rti3 2!ir3 are
yo. at all interested in the myths of ancient &reece and India4 "nd do yo. thin9
they ha6e any significance45
2Certainly3 I li9e the stories themsel6es: -.t I*m not interested in all the
analyGing3 e?plaining 0hat means 0hat3 and the endless interpretation of
symbols3 and all that other silly nonsense: They are 0onderf.l old stories3
nothing more:5
The ne?t day3 ,riday3 <.ne 13 0e had an early l.nch at 1MAFI p:m:3 beca.se
Krishnam.rti and Mary >: 0ere departing for ngland later that afternoon: Once
again3 0e had occasion to say goodbye to them beneath the pepper tree:
'art )our
J
, $ O # ' I N &
I N & O O % N ! !
Cha%ter -1
+ " C O N " ' T )
Starters
Tossed green salad with
vinaigrette or peanut dressing.
'eleriac salad in a dressing of
mustard & horse radish.
'old green bean salad with onions,
parsley, olive oil and lemon,
garnished with toasted sunflower seeds.
Main Dishes
1ild rice, with currants,
capers and pine nuts.
ree% lentils with onions,
tomatoes and celery.
Steamed broccoli served with
olive and caper sauce.
Dessert
(ango cream, prepared with
mango pulp and a touch of cream.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
$eanut butter coo%ies.
#hile Krishnam.rti 0as gi6ing his t0enty8fo.rth ann.al tal9s at !aanen3 the
VVIIIrd !.mmer Olympic &ames 0ere being held3 sans the !o6iet (nion3 at $os
"ngeles in <.ly and ".g.st3 19;E: !ome of the Olympic action spilled o6er into
the O1ai /alley3 as the boating e6ents 0ere staged at nearby $a9e Casitas:
In early !eptember3 as Krishnam.rti 0as concl.ding the -roc90ood +ar9
Tal9s3 0e 0ere ha6ing a heat 0a6e of the first order3 the merc.ry rising to 1IBX ,
OE1X CP for days on end: There 0as also an e?traordinary celestial e6ent
happening at the time3 0hich 0as clearly 6isible in the 0estern s9yA a line8.p of
the ma1or planetsC/en.s3 !at.rn3 Mars and <.piter: I 0as thrilled to obser6e the
hea6enly 0anderers as 0hite points of light against the color of the s.nset s9y:
On October MB3 Krishnam.rti and Mary >: set o.t from ngland for Ne0
%elhi3 India: " fe0 days later3 on October F13 Indira &andhi3 the Indian prime
minister3 0ho greatly honored Krishnam.rti and often so.ght his ad6ice3 0as
assassinated at her residence by t0o of her bodyg.ards: Krishnam.rti 0as
staying at a ho.se not too far from hers and soon left the city to a6oid the
political t.rmoil and the 0idespread riots3 in 0hich a tho.sand or more innocent
ci6ilians died: ?cept for slight modifications3 he contin.ed 0ith his tal9ing
sched.le3 0hile Mary >: 0ho had fallen ill3 ret.rned to O1ai at the end of <an.ary:
"ccompanied by "sit Chandmal3 Krishnam.rti arri6ed in O1ai on ,ebr.ary
173 19;=: ?ha.sted from tra6eling and his b.sy sched.le3 he spent the ne?t day
in bed3 resting and regaining his energy:
,or his first l.nch the follo0ing day3 I prepared a corn and oli6e salad3
g.acamole3 green bean so.p3 c.min potatoes 0ith a three8cheese spinach @.iche3
broccoli 0ith sa.ce oli6os3 and fr.it salad and yog.rt for dessert: There 0ere
ele6en g.ests3 and e6eryone 0as glad to see him again3 in@.iring after his time in
India: )e and Mary >: ga6e .s a 6i6id acco.nt of the t.m.lt.o.s e6ents
s.rro.nding Indira &andhi*s assassination:
"ltho.gh he had a good appetite and 0as glad to be bac9 in O1ai3 he loo9ed
fatig.ed: #hile 0e 0ere clearing the table3 I commented on the enormo.s
amo.nt of tra6eling he had done recently: )e loo9ed at me 0ith 9ind eyes and
said3 27o. 9no03 sir3 all this tra6eling by air3 ship and car is not 6ery good for
the organism: #e ha6e done it for se6enty years3 or more: It .nsettles the body3
.psets it: It al0ays needs time to @.ieten do0n again and to ad1.st: If it 0asn*t
constantly on the mo6e3 the body might li6e a lot longerCmaybe a h.ndred
years3 or maybe e6en a h.ndred and t0enty: !o stay settled and lead a @.iet life:5
I .nderstood 0hat he 0as saying b.t 0as a bit s9eptical3 beca.se I lo6ed
tra6eling and had a nomadic strea9 in me:
J
-y !.nday3 ,ebr.ary ME3 Krishnam.rti had regained his spar9ling energy and
0as eager to learn more abo.t the school: "s the t0el6e of .s 0ere tal9ing abo.t
the diffic.lties of the ne0ly established boarding program3 he began to reminisce
abo.t the )appy /alley !chool3 0hich he and "ldo.s ).?ley had helped to set
.p b.t from 0hich he had disassociated himself after only a fe0 years: 27o.
see35 he said3 2first it happened at the old )appy /alley !chool3 the same
problemsCsmo9ing3 drin9ing3 dr.gs3 se?3 and so on: No0 yo. ha6e them here:
The basic @.estion isA H#hat 0ill yo. do 0ith the st.dents4* #ill yo. gi6e them
leis.re4 #ill yo. gi6e them entertainment4 Or 0ill yo. ha6e a rigoro.s program3
9eeping them b.sy3 b.sy3 b.sy3 from morning to night4 7o. see 0hat it does to
them: 7o. 0ill be fostering a di6ision in themC0or9 6ers.s free timeC0hich is
the real fragmentation of life:5
"fter disc.ssing the boarding sit.ation at some length and agreeing to the
need for a balanced program3 0e started tal9ing abo.t .ncon6entional approaches
to health and disease: I mentioned the -ircher8-enner method of healing chronic
diseases thro.gh a balanced diet of ra0 and coo9ed 6egetarian food: I had been
.sing some of their dietary principles in the meal preparations here:
2"h3 yes3 -ircher8-enner35 he said: 2I stayed at their clinic near >.rich for
some 0ee9s:5
2%id yo. go there for a specific p.rpose3 Krishna1i45 I as9ed:
2It 0as in 19BI3 after a se6ere 9idney infection in IndiaK they tested me and
p.t me on a strict diet:5
2#hat type of food did they offer yo.3 sir45
2They mainly fed me G.cchiniCra0 and coo9edCin all sorts of forms and
preparations: It c.red me to some degree3 b.t after a 0hile it 0as a bore to eat the
same thing o6er and o6er again:5
#e la.ghed at the f.nny face he p.lled: !omeone bro.ght .p healing of a
different 9ind3 and the name of /imala Tha9ar 0as mentioned: !he 0as a fairly
0ell89no0n Indian social acti6ist: In one of her boo9s she described ho0 a
se6ere ear ailment3 that se6eral medical specialists 0ere .nable to c.re3 had been
healed by Krishnam.rti thro.gh the to.ch of his hands: " teacher as9ed him
abo.t this incident3 b.t he appeared rather rel.ctant to tal9 abo.t it3 beca.se of
the lady*s s.bse@.ent claim that the laying on of his hands had done more than
heal her ear ailmentCit had also besto0ed some sort of initiation on her:
)e loo9ed at his fine3 long hands and m.sed3 2"lready my mother told me
that I had the po0er of healing in my hands:5 $oo9ing .p at .s3 he said shyly3 2I
0o.ld li9e to tell yo. a story that happened recently3 if I may: "nd3 please3 I*m
not trying to cast myself as a healer or miracle 0or9er: I really disli9e that 9ind
of p.blicity: !o3 please3 don*t go aro.nd promoting K as a healer3 if yo. don*t
mind: It 0as in Madras3 of an e6ening3 and I 0as ta9ing a 0al9 along the beach at
"dyar: There are a n.mber of fishing h.ts there and some ho.ses behind them: "
yo.ng boy of abo.t fo.rteen came r.nning .p to me from one of them and got
hold of my hand and started to than9 me prof.sely: HThan9 yo.3 sir3 than9 yo.
for 0hat yo.*6e done3* he said: I didn*t 9no0 0hat it 0as all abo.t3 so I as9ed
him3 H#hat are yo. than9ing me for4* "nd he said3 HI sa0 yo. 1.st no0 0al9ing
here and recogniGed yo.: %on*t yo. remember me3 sir4 7o. healed my mother a
year ago: !he 0as really ill3 and 0e came to see yo. and carried her .p to yo.r
room: "nd she is healthy no0 and can 0al9:* )e 9ept than9ing me prof.sely:
Then I remembered that the pre6io.s year a car had dri6en .p in front of /asanta
/ihar: The 0hole family got o.t of the car3 se6eral children among them3 and
they carried the mother on a stretcher .pstairs to 0here I 0as staying: They
implored me to help her: !he 0as ob6io.sly on the threshold of death3 co.ldn*t
mo6e or tal93 and the doctors seemed to be .nable to diagnose her disease or do
anything abo.t it: !o I told them to p.t the stretcher in front of my room and
lea6e me alone 0ith her: "fter a 0hile she came to and co.ld get .p 0ith some
help:5
The teacher 0as eager to 9no0 details of the act.al healing process and
as9ed3 2#hat did yo. act.ally do3 Krishna1i45
"t times3 0hen @.estions became too personal or the demand for detailed
information indiscreet3 he co.ld become a master of elegant side8stepping: )e
made a gracef.l gest.re of Hhold it right there* and replied some0hat
enigmatically3 2#e did 0hat 0e co.ld:5 Contin.ing his narration3 he said3 2They
had to s.pport her as she 0al9ed do0n the stairs3 b.t she co.ld 0al9: They all
than9ed me3 and all that: The boy on the beach3 her son3 0ho 0as holding on to
my hand3 no0 in6ited me to come to their ho.se and meet his family: I than9ed
him and e?c.sed myself: "nd that 0as that:5
)e fell silent3 and the story stood before o.r mental eyes li9e a hologram3
re6ealing the .n.s.al magic of this compassionate man3 0hose e?istence 0as
0o6en into the 6ery fabric of o.r o0n li6es li9e a thread of gold:
J
The follo0ing 0ee9end3 March M3 Krishnam.rti met 0ith the staff at +ine
Cottage for the first time: #e disc.ssed the per6asi6e fragmentation in o.r li6es
and also the mo6ement of specialiGation3 that had di6ided life into 0or9 and
leis.re3 thereby creating a so.rce of conflict: #e 0ere ca.ght in a 6icio.s circle
of .nending problems: "ltho.gh 0e did not f.lly .nderstand o.r thin9ing
process3 0e made constant3 if improper3 .se of tho.ght3 o.r primary instr.ment
of action and s.r6i6al: This nat.rally res.lted in all sorts of problems: The
diffic.lty 0as compo.nded by the fact that 0e so.ght to sol6e them by the .se of
tho.ght3 the 6ery tool that had ca.sed them in the first place:
#hile 0e 0ere on a 1o.rney of disco6ery into o.r minds3 0ith their problems3
a s.dden do0npo.r of hail prod.ced an intense dr.mming on the roof and
against the 0indo0 panes: $oo9ing o.t into the co.rtyard3 I sa0 the gro.nd
co6ered 0ith a thin layer of shining hailstones3 glistening 0hite pebbles that
@.ic9ly melted a0ay: ,or some reason3 I too9 it as a good omen:
%.ring l.nch on the follo0ing Monday3 Krishnam.rti mentioned a boo9 he
had 1.st started reading3 Creakin# with !oscow3 by "rcady !he6chen9o: The
a.thor had been the highest8ran9ing !o6iet diplomat3 an .nder8secretary general3
at the (nited Nations in Ne0 7or93 .ntil his recent defection to the (nited
!tates: )a6ing been debriefed and granted political asyl.m3 he had beg.n to spill
the beans to the p.blic at large: Krishnam.rti 0as fascinated by his firsthand
acco.nt of the intrig.es in the .pper echelons of the !o6iet political
establishment: )e eagerly disc.ssed details of the boo9 0ith Theo $illiefelt3 the
former (:N: diplomat3 0ho had recommended the boo9 to him: )e 0as appalled
by the disclos.res of cynicism among the top Comm.nist leaders3 their na9ed
e?ploitation of po0er and pri6ilege3 and their irredeemable corr.ption: %.ring
the ne?t fe0 l.ncheons3 he presented .s 0ith reg.lar installments of his latest
reading: )e simply co.ld not belie6e the depth of their depra6ity:
2!ir35 he said to Theo3 2it*s incredible ho0 they say one thing and do
something entirely different: #hile the people are star6ing3 these politicians
pretend to be ser6ing them3 endlessly tal9ing abo.t the peopleCho0 good it is
for the people3 and so on: -.t they are only ser6ing themsel6es: It*s for the good
old selfCthe l.?.ry cars3 ho.ses3 e?tra6agant feasts and ban@.etsCyo. 9no03
all the corr.ption and deception they are in6ol6ed in: "nd these are heads of
state3 0ith enormo.s po0er3 in control of n.clear 0eapons: They determine the
f.t.re co.rse of h.manityCit*s appalling:5
&enerally3 he 0as 6ery s9eptical of any of the socio8political systems de6ised
by h.man tho.ght3 as they 0ere in6ariably fla0ed by one basic component3
h.man nat.re: To him3 nationalism in any form 0as nothing b.t a glorified form
of tribalism3 the contin.ation of age8old di6isions3 pre1.dices3 fears3 hatreds3 and
0ars: -.t he disting.ished Hthe false as the false3 the tr.e as the tr.e3 and the tr.e
in the false*3 as he p.t it: #itho.t endorsing any partic.lar form of go6ernment3
he preferred democracy and clearly discerned the @.alities of the totalitarian
systemsCintrinsically destr.cti6e and e6il: In fact3 he often said3 2+o0er in any
form is e6il:5
Creakin# with !oscow appeared to pro6ide him 0ith the irref.table3 firsthand
e6idence that the Comm.nist system 0as rotten to the core3 decei6ing its o0n
people and the 0orld at large3 and posing a serio.s threat to the 0elfare of
h.manity: !hortly after0ards3 I also read the boo9 b.t felt some0hat s9eptical
abo.t certain aspects of it: I 6oiced my reser6ations at table:
2Krishna1i35 I as9ed3 2don*t yo. thin9 that in many 0ays the a.thor had
.lterior moti6es3 partic.larly in trying to 0hite0ash himself by portraying his
ad6ersaries as more abominably corr.pt4 "fter all3 he also had been a high8
ran9ing party f.nctionary for many years3 f.lly participating in all this
corr.ption45
)e didn*t seem to be interested in p.rs.ing my line of criticism and replied3
2No3 no3 sir: <.st see 0hat he is saying:5
It 0as aro.nd this time3 in the middle of March3 19;=3 that the third leader of
the !o6iet (nion in so many years had passed a0ay 0hile in office: -reGhne6
had died in 19;M3 after many years at the topK his s.ccessor3 7.ri "ndropo63
departed the 0orld in 19;E3 after only fifteen months in po0erK and no0
Chernen9o3 r.ling for barely a year3 had died and 0as replaced by Mi9hail
&orbache63 at fifty8fo.r one of the yo.ngest men to attain to po0er in the
(:!:!:': #hile 0e disc.ssed these changes in the hierarchy of the Comm.nist
s.perpo0er3 someone passed aro.nd a ne0smagaGine 0hich contained a photo of
the ne0 party chairman: Krishnam.rti did not say anything3 b.t st.died
&orbache6*s face caref.lly for a long time:
"fter a 0hile3 he said3 2I m.st tell yo. a 1o9e that I heard recently: " man dies
and goes to hell: "s he approaches3 he notices t0o large doors leading into inner
hell: -oth are g.arded by de6ils: In front of one gate3 there is a long @.e.e of
people 0aiting to enter3 0hile the other one is 0itho.t people: The man 0al9s
o6er to the gate 0itho.t people and reads the sign on it3 HCapitalist )ell*: )e as9s
the g.arding de6il3 H#hat e?actly do yo. do here4* The de6il ans0ers3 H#e drill
holes in the condemned and fill them 0ith boiling oil:* The man 0al9s o6er to the
other gate 0here tho.sands .pon tho.sands of people are lined .p: )ere the sign
says H!ocialist )ell*: The man t.rns to the g.arding de6il and as9s3 H"nd 0hat do
yo. do here3 in !ocialist )ell4* The de6il ans0ers3 H#e drill holes in the
condemned and fill them 0ith boiling oil:* The man is totally s.rprised and
e?claims3 H-.t that is e?actly 0hat they are doing o6er there3 in Capitalist )ell:
!o 0hy is there nobody o6er there3 0hile here tho.sands .pon tho.sands are
0aiting in line4* The de6il shr.gs3 H#ell3 yo. 9no0 ho0 in capitalism e6erything
f.nctions efficiently: )ere in !ocialist )ell 0e*re still 0aiting for the drill bits3
and 0e*6e also r.n o.t of oil:*5
"midst the la.ghter3 Krishnam.rti ch.c9led3 2That may be the only place
0here socialism and comm.nism ha6e the ad6antageCin hell:5
J
Thro.gho.t March Krishnam.rti met 0ith the school staff at +ine Cottage e6ery
!at.rday morning at ele6en o*cloc93 to disc.ss matters concerning o.r daily life
and o.r ed.cational acti6itiesCnot as separate b.t as interrelated iss.es: )e
encaps.lated the essence of one dialog.e by saying3 2The ending of self8interest
is the beginning of intelligence:5 To grasp this not only intellect.ally b.t also3
and more importantly3 to realiGe it in one*s daily life 0as a @.ant.m leap beyond
practically e6eryone*s capacity: I fo.nd myself as9ing3 HCan I really end my self8
interest4 #hy does it appear so diffic.lt4* %.ring the ne?t dialog.e 0e p.rs.ed
the theme of self8interest at great depth3 relating it to li9es and disli9es3 opinions
and personal taste3 and attachment:
The follo0ing !at.rday3 Krishnam.rti started o.t by as9ing a decepti6ely
simple @.estion3 2#hat does life mean to yo.45
The con6ersation meandered thro.gh the fields of pleas.re and pain3
attachment3 g.ilt and resistance: In the co.rse of o.r in@.iry3 I felt I 0as being
bro.ght face to face 0ith an act.ality of daily li6ing that I seldom percei6ed3 the
greater conte?t: "t the o.tset of 0or9ing 0ith Krishnam.rti I had been deeply
interested in enlightenment and transformation: &rad.ally I came to realiGe the
el.si6eness of these ideals3 especially 0hen concei6ed as goals to be reached
thro.gh systems of becoming: #hen Krishnam.rti started tal9ing abo.t the art of
li6ing3 doing a0ay 0ith the concept of fi?ed points that one stri6es after3 it 0as a
0a9e8.p call: minently practical and poetically 0holesome3 this approach
related directly to one*s act.al day8to8day life and not to some fancif.l ideal:
"ltho.gh not necessarily easy3 it 0as clear and simple to see:
Krishnam.rti e?plained it th.sA 2The art of li6ing is the most important art3
greater than any other3 greater than 0riting a poem or composing a symphony3
greater than all the temples and ch.rches:5 )e contin.ed after a pa.se3 2"nd
nobody can teach yo. this art:5
6ent.ally he made it clear that the art of li6ing meant to ha6e no fear3 no
sorro03 to li6e 0itho.t any conflict or problemK and that it 0ent together 0ith the
art of dying:
J
On Monday3 March M=3 there 0ere only si? of .s for l.nch: One g.est from India
had been a great friend of Krishnam.rti*s for more than thirty years: #hile 0e
en1oyed a meal of 0ild rice3 &ree9 lentils3 steamed broccoli and oli6e T caper
sa.ce3 follo0ed by persimmon cream3 a feeling of friendship and openness
de6eloped: Krishnam.rti 0as animatedly con6ersing 0ith his old friend abo.t the
g.r. tradition and the -.ddhist concept of bodhisatt6as: "ltho.gh he ne6er
stated .nambig.o.sly 0hether these beings e?isted or not3 he 0as clearly
fascinated by the topic: %.ring p.blic dialog.es and pri6ate con6ersations he
sometimes spo9e of bodhisatt6as and enlightened beingsK he 0o.ld also ans0er
@.estions abo.t the so8called Masters of TheosophyCb.t only either to dismiss
or to e?plain3 rather than confirm or deny the concept: )e 0as @.ite sensiti6e
abo.t these matters and did not li9e the contents of his con6ersations to be
repeated3 since they co.ld easily be misrepresented: None of it had anything to
do 0ith his teaching:
J
In late "pril3 the director of de6elopment3 0ho had recently ret.rned from
6isiting se6eral colleges and .ni6ersities on the ast Coast3 1oined .s for l.nch:
%.ring the meal he told Krishnam.rti that his teachings formed part of
philosophy co.rses at se6eral .ni6ersities: Krishnam.rti*s response 0as
restrained b.t f.ll of childli9e fascination 0ith the ne0s from these instit.tes of
higher learning: +rod.cing sheets of paper3 the director e?plained3 2These3
Krishna1i3 are test @.estionnaires: The st.dents 0ho ta9e yo.r co.rse ha6e to pass
this test:5
Krishnam.rti loo9ed p.GGled and intrig.ed and too9 the papers in his hands to
st.dy them more closely:
" lady tr.stee @.ipped3 2Is it all tr.e or false3 or also m.ltiple8choice45
6erybody at the table3 incl.ding Krishnam.rti3 bro9e o.t la.ghing3 and the
director ans0ered3 2#ell3 yes3 there are tr.e8false and m.ltiple8choice @.estions3
b.t the ma1or part of the test consists of essays:5
Krishnam.rti3 in the meantime3 had per.sed the papers and placed them on
the table ne?t to his plateK he remar9ed 0ith an appreciati6e la.gh3 2These are
really @.ite good: 7es3 they are really 6ery good @.estions:5 Then he added
0himsically3 2I 0onder if I 0o.ld pass the test:5
That totally .npl.gged the barrel of la.ghs: #e 0ere holding o.r sides 0ith
e?.berant mirth: The director*s response to Krishnam.rti*s remar9 added another
1oc.lar t0ist3 2Of co.rse3 sir3 I*m s.re yo.*d pass 0ith flying colors:5
J
"t the beginning of "pril the 0eather s.ddenly t.rned 6ery hot: There 0ere
t0el6e for l.nch on Monday3 "pril 1: "ll of .s3 0ith one e?ception3 0ere long8
time members of the !chool and ,o.ndation: I had prepared a marinated tof.
salad3 a potato8and8egg salad3 gaGpacho so.p3 co.sco.s 0ith 6egetables
+ro6enWal3 and chocolate bro0nies and ice cream for dessert:
"lmost from the beginning3 a strange3 .ncomfortable tension 0as pre6alent
among .s: !.ddenly3 a chain reaction occ.rred3 releasing pent8.p feelings of
animosity: The one Ho.tsider* among .s3 a 6isiting coo9 from -roc90ood +ar93
had rather innocently mar6eled at 0hat he tho.ght 0ere the e?pensi6e delicacies
0hich 0e ser6ed for l.nch3 and one of the tr.stees promptly reb.9ed me for
being too e?tra6agant in the 6ariety of food I ser6ed: This 0as follo0ed by some
of the tr.stees and directors ha6ing a go at one another: I 0as appalledCnot only
at being p.t on the spot3 b.t also by this .ne?pected display of m.t.al resentment
in front of Krishnam.rti:
)e clearly noticed the lo086oiced altercation b.t didn*t in6ol6e himself at all3
9eeping a shy3 obser6ant distance3 not saying a thing: 6ent.ally3 0itho.t getting
to the root of o.r contro6ersy3 0e calmed do0n: The con6ersation t.rned to more
remote conflictsCthe global s.perpo0er sit.ation and the threat of n.clear 0ar:
One person 0ondered3 2"fter a n.clear 0ar bet0een the s.perpo0ers3 there
probably 0o.ldn*t be many places left on the planet 0here h.man beings co.ld
s.r6i6e:5
#e started a g.essing game3 as to 0here 0e 0o.ld 0ant to be3 sho.ld a
deadly n.clear conflict occ.r: !omeone s.ggested Ne0 >ealand as a safe place3
another !o.th "merica: " lady t.rned to Krishnam.rti and as9ed him3 2#here
0o.ld yo. 0ant to be d.ring s.ch a disaster3 Krishna1i45
+ondering the @.estion for a moment3 he ans0ered 0ith a playf.l smile3 2I
sho.ld thin9 the O1ai /alley 0o.ld be a fairly safe place3 0o.ldn*t it4 It*s
protected by mo.ntains all aro.nd3 and one co.ld sit .nder an orange tree and
s.r6i6e on the fr.it:5
2$i6e only on oranges45 I 0ondered:
The lady ob1ected3 2-.t it*s so close to $os "ngeles3 0hich 0o.ld be one of
the first targets of an enemy attac9: Certainly the n.clear radiation 0o.ld affect
the /alley:5
2"nd /andenb.rg "ir ,orce -ase 0o.ld probably get a f.ll hit by an
intercontinental ballistic missile35 the director remar9ed:
2"ll right3 all right35 Krishnam.rti replied3 la.ghing3 2I*ll find another safe
place:5 )e 0ent thro.gh se6eral other options3 only to discard them: ,inally3 he
said3 2"h3 I*6e got itA the %ordogne in ,rance 0o.ld be a good place to li6e:
+rehistoric man .sed to li6e there in ca6es3 for tens of tho.sands of years: I*6e
6isited the region: It*s @.ite bea.tif.l and fertile3 and it probably 0o.ld be as safe
a place as any:5
J
Three days later3 Th.rsday3 the day of the f.ll moon in "pril3 there 0as no l.nch:
Mary >: had to dri6e to $os "ngeles in the morning3 and Krishnam.rti 0as going
to stay in bed for the day: Therefore3 0e had all agreed to cancel reg.lar l.nch3
0hile I 0as to prepare some food for Krishnam.rti and ta9e it o6er to him in +ine
Cottage:
It 0as a hot3 bright day3 and the s.nlight reflected brilliantly from the 0hite8
painted adobe bric9 0alls of the ho.se: -alancing the tray on my .praised right
palm3 I 0al9ed past the roseb.shes3 0hose e?.berant blooms 0ere already
beginning to 0ilt in the heat: !lo0ly ascending the stone steps to the crimson
door3 I steadied the tray 0ith my left hand3 in order to pre6ent the containers
from 9noc9ing against one another: The pre6io.s day he had told me3 2Come
aro.nd one o*cloc93 sir3 and ring the bell: I*ll come to open the door for yo.: I*ll
9eep the door loc9ed3 since I*m the only one in the ho.se and I can*t hear 0hen
somebody enters:5
I caref.lly pressed the b.tton and heard the bell*s distant clang in the ho.se:
The seconds tic9ed a0ay as I stood there 0aiting: There 0as no noise3 only the
heat of the day and the b.GGing of many insects: I started to 0onder if he had
heard the bell and 0as on the point of ringing again3 0hen the door 0as @.ietly
opened3 and he came in sight:
,or me3 Krishnam.rti 0as al0ays a remar9able sight to behold: -.t .nder
certain3 often .npredictable circ.mstances3 he 0as e6en more remar9able than
.s.al: This happened to be one of those rare occasions: -esides3 0e 0ere meeting
face to face3 1.st the t0o of .s: )e 0as dressed in a sno080hite3 fl.ffy3 terry8
cotton bathrobe3 that reached all the 0ay to his sandalled feet: ,rom 0ide3
billo0ing slee6es his slender3 dar98s9inned hands protr.ded: )is head 0as
cro0ned by a halo of s0irling sil6er hair:
The sheer ab.ndance of light bo0led me o6er: 6erything 0as immensely
0hite and brightA the strong light of the day flooding the interior of the ho.se3
reflected from 0hite 0alls and 0hite floor tilesK and Krishnam.rti3 0hite8haired3
in a 0hite bathrobe: It str.c9 me li9e a po0erf.l dream scene3 0here all elements
merge into one flo0ing mo6ement3 6ibrantly ma9ing and .nma9ing
config.rations and arabes@.es from a common bac9gro.nd: )e stepped for0ard
from that 6ibrant bac9gro.nd3 li9e a medie6al master of alchemy3 0ho had
attained to the highest goodA not 1.st to change lead and other base metals into
gold3 b.t to smelt and transform all things and beings into himself3 and3 thro.gh
him3 into clear emptiness:
2)ello3 Michael35 he said 0ith a 0elcoming smile: )e seemed to radiate3 and
his friendly eyes beamed 0ith a gentle3 mirroring fire:
2I*6e bro.ght yo.r l.nch3 Krishna1i35 I e?plained: 2#here 0o.ld yo. li9e me
to p.t it45
2+.t it o6er there on the 9itchen co.nter35 he said3 and follo0ed me as I 0ent
into the 9itchen and placed the tray on the co.nter: "s I .s.ally did on these
occasions3 I pointed at the 6ario.s dishes3 naming them and reciting their
ingredients: )e listened attenti6ely to my c.linary disco.rse3 in@.iring into one
or t0o details3 before s.ddenly grabbing me by the arm in one of his
characteristic gest.res3 and saying3 2Than9 yo.3 sir: I*ll ta9e it into the bedroom
on another tray:5
Thro.gho.t o.r brief enco.nter3 listening to the gentle resonance of his 6oice3
I had a sensation of indescribable lightness: #orries3 an?ieties3 and all m.ndane
concerns had fallen by the 0ayside3 and3 as I no0 strode bac9 to the front door3
0ith Krishnam.rti 0al9ing behind me3 I sensed the seamless conto.rs of an
.n9no0n immensity: $iterally s0imming o.t of the door and a0ay from his
encompassing presence3 into the blinding brightness of the day3 I t.rned3 one foot
already on the second step3 to face Krishnam.rti 0ith a fare0ell greeting: )e
stood there3 radiant in the enormo.s 0hite bathrobe3 6ery straight b.t fragile and
dimin.ti6e3 one hand on the 9nob of the half8opened crimson door3 the other
hanging rela?ed by his side: )e 0as loo9ing at me in a sort of .nfoc.sed 0ay3 as
if he 0as gaGing at the space aro.nd my head and body3 rather than at the body
itself: I 0as on the point of .ttering some 0ords of gratit.de3 0hen he spo9e firstA
he recited a sentence in a foreign lang.age3 0hich I co.ld neither .nderstand nor
identify: There 0as a resonance of solemn dignity in the 0ords3 enhanced by his
pec.liar mode of en.nciation: Tilting bac9 his head and half8closing his eyelids3
he prono.nced the 0ords li9e a magical mantra3 f.ll of sonoro.s prof.ndity:
Opening his eyes f.lly3 he loo9ed directly into my eyes3 0here he might ha6e
detected nothing b.t be0ilderment:
I as9ed hesitantly3 2I*m sorry3 sir: #hat did yo. say45
)e intoned the 0ords again3 2Anna dathu sukhi bhava:5
There 0as a rhythm to it3 0ith se6eral stresses and s.stained consonants3
creating a 6ibration in a lo0 h.mming 9ey: I tried to repeat the 0ords3 b.t failed:
2#hat does it mean3 Krishna1i45 I as9ed:
2It*s an ancient !ans9rit saying: It means3 HMay he 0ho gi6es food be
happy:*5
I felt an .ne?pected 1oy 0elling .p 0ithin me3 and I than9ed him as if he had
gi6en me a precio.s gift3 2Than9 yo.3 sir:5
" resplendent smile passed bet0een .s3 and I s9ipped bac9 thro.gh the
orange gro6e to the "rya /ihara 9itchen:
J
Three days later3 early !at.rday morning3 Krishnam.rti and Mary >: left for the
airport to catch a flight to Ne0 7or9 City3 0here he 0as sched.led to tal9 at the
(:N: on "pril 11: On the 0ee9end of "pril MI and M13 he 0as going to gi6e t0o
tal9s at the Kennedy Center3 #ashington3 %:C:3 and ret.rn to O1ai the follo0ing
Monday: Th.s3 he 0o.ld be gone for t0o 0ee9s:
My colleag.e from -roc90ood +ar9 and I too9 the opport.nity to dri6e .p
along the +acific Coast thro.gh -ig !.r to !an ,rancisco for a 0ee9: "fter
ret.rning to O1ai3 I ca.ght a flight from $"V to #ashington3 %:C:3 to attend the
tal9s there: It 0as my first 6isit to the nation*s capital3 and I 0as deeply
impressed3 not only by the enormo.s concentration of po0er3 b.t also by the
fab.lo.s collections of art treas.res3 and the architect.ral design of the city:
#hat impressed me most3 ho0e6er3 0as to see Krishnam.rti gi6ing a tal9 at
the reno0ned Center for the +erforming "rts at MAFI on !at.rday afternoon:
%ressed in a dar93 do.ble8breasted s.it3 0ith a b.rg.ndy8red tie and a small
0hite hand9erchief in his breast poc9et3 he sat on a simple chair in the center of
the h.ge3 dimly8lit stage: There 0as a microphone in front of him3 and another
clip8on microphone 0as attached to his lapel: It 0as hard to en6ision a more
poignant contrastA one man alone on the large3 empty stage3 confronting an
e?pectant3 cosmopolitan a.dience of three tho.sand3 gathered in a theater at the
seat of po0er: It started o.t on a 0rong note3 beca.se the spea9er system
temporarily malf.nctioned: -.t3 once it 0as ad1.sted3 Krishnam.rti embar9ed on
one of the most compelling3 compact s.mmariGations of his teachings e6er: )e
spo9e most earnestly3 0ith only spare gest.res3 .pright and almost immobile in
his chair: )e tal9ed abo.t the h.man condition3 abo.t conflict and sorro03 abo.t
peace3 abo.t in@.iry3 abo.t bea.ty and fear3 abo.t time and tho.ght:
The follo0ing morning3 at 11 a:m:3 he contin.ed the panoramic 1o.rney into
h.man conscio.sness 0ith his listeners: "s stern as on the pre6io.s day3 he
began by e?amining pleas.re and the dominant role it played in o.r li6es: "t one
point3 he said3 2#e are frightened to loo9 at o.rsel6es: "s 0e saidCto loo9 at
o.rsel6es 6ery clearly3 acc.rately3 precisely is only possible in the mirror of
relationshipA that*s the only mirror 0e ha6e: #hen yo. loo9 at yo.rselfC
0hether yo.*re combing yo.r hair3 or yo.*re sha6ing3 or 0hate6er yo.*re doing
to yo.r face:::5
"ll at once and for a reason that 0asn*t immediately clear3 he ga6e a short
la.gh and then said3 2!orry:5 There 0as a brief inter6al of silence as he attempted
to regain his compos.re3 b.t in the meantime some of the a.dience had started to
titter at the h.mor implicit in the s.ggestion to loo9 at oneself as one does in a
bathroom mirror:
)e contin.ed3 27o. loo9 in yo.r mirror53 b.t once again he 0as o6ercome by
0hate6er hilario.s image had been e6o9ed in him: 2!orry35 he said again 0ith
la.ghing eyes: There 0as more la.ghter from the a.dience in response to the
s.dden display of mirth3 0hich contrasted sharply 0ith his pre6io.s gra6ity:
'egaining a straight face3 he 0as on the point of contin.ing3 0hen once again he
0as o6erpo0ered by an attac9 of la.ghter: !ha9ing his head 0ith e?asperation at
his inability to sha9e off the imp.lse3 he s.rrendered himself to the 0a6es of
la.ghter3 0hich by no0 had eng.lfed the 0hole a.dience: "fter la.ghing 0itho.t
restraint for some moments3 he gasped another apology3 2I*m sorry:5
)is 0ords 0ere s0allo0ed .p by another ro.nd of la.ghter: This contin.ed
for a min.te or t0o3 0hile he loo9ed at the tho.sands of la.ghing faces before
him 0ith an e?pression of sheer3 .ndisg.ised delight: "fter the merriment had
some0hat died do0n3 he scratched his chee9 0ith one finger and remar9ed3 2I*m
glad yo. appro6e:5
"t last3 composed again3 he 0ent on3 2That mirror reflects e?actly 0hat yo.
are:5
"ltho.gh it might ha6e been nothing b.t an o.tbrea9 of infectio.s merriment
0itho.t rhyme or reason3 there 0as a 0onderf.lly telling @.ality abo.t this
incident3 re6ealing Krishnam.rti*s free8flo0ing sense of h.mor: )e contin.ed the
tal9 by going into order and disorder3 learning3 sorro03 lo6e and death3 religion
and the sacred3 and meditation: It 0as strangely mo6ing3 0hen3 at the concl.sion
of this e?traordinary tal93 a little girl 0al9ed .p to the stage 0ith a bo.@.et of
flo0ers and handed it to Krishnam.rti3 0ho leaned do0n to ta9e it from her:
J
T0o days later3 0e 0ere all in O1ai again3 sharing l.nch at ":/: !ince fi6e of the
eight g.ests had not been to the ast Coast3 Krishnam.rti3 Mary >:3 and I told
them abo.t the e6ents in #ashington3 %:C: C.rio.s abo.t his time in Ne0 7or9
City3 I as9ed him3 2"nd 0hat abo.t yo.r tal9 at the (nited Nations3 sir4 )o0 did
that go45
2I spo9e at the H+acem8in8Terris !ociety*3 b.t I 0onder 0hether any of the
(:N: delegates are interested in peace at all: One chap came .p to .s after0ards
and said3 HI*6e been 0ith the (nited Nations for forty years3 and after hearing yo.
I*6e come to the concl.sion that 0ar is 0rong:* Imagine that3 sirK it too9 him
forty years to come to that .nderstandingL "nd those are the people 0ho r.n the
organiGation:5
Mary >: started la.ghing softly and e?plained3 2Krishna1i 0as presented 0ith
a medal for peace: -.t then he forgot it on the table3 and one man came after him
0ith the medal:5
#e started to la.gh at the .n.s.al config.ration of e6ents3 and Krishnam.rti
also 1oined o.r am.sement:
The director as9ed him3 more serio.sly3 2#ell3 sir3 0hat if yo. 0ere
nominated for the Nobel +eace +riGeC0o.ld yo. accept it45
Krishnam.rti loo9ed at him 0ith a s.rprised loo9 on his face3 and then
replied3 2!ir3 ho0 co.ld I accept an a0ard li9e that4 "n a0ard for 0hat4 The
politicians ha6e been a0arding this peace priGe to each other for years3 b.t there
isn*t any peace in the 0orld: It*s all 1.st a farce3 some 9ind of game they are
playing: No3 sir3 if yo. are doing the right thing3 yo. 0on*t accept any priGes or
a0ards: 'ight action is an end in itself:5
!.ddenly3 0e 0ere all tal9ing e?citedly at the same time3 0eighing the pros
and cons of the Nobel +eace +riGe3 as if it 0ere a real possibility: -.t
Krishnam.rti remained aloof3 .ninterested in any act.al or potential priGes:
Cha%ter --
" ! C I N T I ! T O ,
T ) I N T ' N " $
Starters
Tossed green salad with vinaigrette
or blue cheese dressing.
(arinated tofu salad, with grated carrots,
finely cubed celery, parsley and ginger.
$otato#and#egg salad flavored with dill weed
and finely cubed pic%les.
Main Dishes
'hilled gazpacho soup, prepared
with tomatoes, cucumbers and cilantro.
'ouscous with parsley, raisins, and almonds.
?egetable $roven=al, dry stir#fried zucchini,
mushrooms, and green, red
and yellow bell peppers.
Dessert
Super#rich chocolate brownies,
served with vanilla ice cream.
.resh, seasonal fruit.
"t the end of "pril3 there 0as a ne0 ho.se g.est at "rya /ihara: Mr: &rohe3 the
retired b.sinessman from !0itGerland3 mo6ed into one of the rooms for the
d.ration of the .pcoming tal9s3 since the ho.se in O1ai 0hich he had 1.st
ac@.ired 0as being remodeled: )e and his fiancQe3 a lady from 'omania3
reg.larly 1oined .s for l.nch:
"s 0as .s.ally the case3 a n.mber of Krishnam.rti*s friends came to ha6e
l.nch 0ith .s d.ring the last days of "pril: "mong them 0as 'onald yre3 a
-ritish tele6ision and theater prod.cer3 0ho had had a 6ideotaped dialog.e 0ith
him at -roc90ood +ar9 abo.t playf.lness in <.ne3 19;E: )e 0as an e?.berant3
elo@.ent person3 0ho seemed to en1oy la.ghter: ,airly soon into the meal3 they
0ere e?changing 1o9es 0ith each other3 to e6eryone*s delight: "nother3 more
reg.lar g.est3 0as !idney ,ield3 the Costa 'ican cons.l in $os "ngeles3 and a
)olly0ood script0riter: )e 0o.ld come to see his old friend Krishnam.rti and to
ha6e l.nch 0ith .s a fe0 times a year: They had first met si?ty years before and
had been good friends e6er since: !idney 0as a 6ery 0arm8hearted3 modest
person3 soft8spo9en3 b.t 0ith an in@.isiti6e mind: " third g.est 0as %r: 'a6i
'a6indra3 a professor of religion3 physics and philosophy3 originally from India3
0ho no0 li6ed and ta.ght in No6a !cotia3 Canada: )e had 6isited Krishnam.rti
t0o or three times in the past fe0 years3 and they had established a good rapport
0ith one another o6er a n.mber of cordial con6ersations:
There really 0as no easy 0ay to describe Krishnam.rti and to categoriGe his
teaching: %.ring the early theosophical days3 he had been hailed as the Messiah
and #orld Teacher3 as the Christ3 as an enlightened h.man being a9in to the
-.ddha3 and as the /ehicle of the $ord Maitreya: "fter re1ecting the role
designed for him3 he 0as seen as a re6ol.tionary3 a spirit.al rebel and iconoclast:
More recently3 he had been 6ario.sly described as a spirit.al teacher3 an
ed.cator3 a psychologist3 a mystic and a religio.s philosopher: Nat.rally3 0hat
defied con6entional labeling 0as not only his holistic approach to li6ing3 b.t also
the 0holeness of his teaching3 0hich 0ent beyond specialiGation and academic
strict.res:
I often tho.ght of him as a philosopher in the tr.e3 original sense of the 0ord:
)e himself3 on a n.mber of occasions3 defined philosophy as Hthe lo6e of tr.th*3
or Hthe lo6e of life*: Ne6er a stic9ler for 0ords3 he readily conc.rred 0ith o.r
more literal translation of philosopher as Hfriend3 lo6er of 0isdom*: C.rio.sly3 he
fre@.ently emphasiGed that he had ne6er read any of the religio.s script.res or
philosophical 0ritings: )e denied that tr.th co.ld be recorded3 incl.ding the
boo9s p.blished .nder his name: "t one time he had told some close associates3
2K*s teachings are a li6ing thing and the boo9s3 I*m afraid3 are not: No boo9 is:5
'ecently he had been 0atching a tele6ision program abo.t "ristotle and
+lato: It portrayed their in@.iry into3 and s.bse@.ent form.lation of3
philosophical concepts3 s.ch as bea.ty3 1.stice3 6irt.e3 freedom3 and happinessK
and ho03 thro.gh the cent.ries3 their thin9ing contin.ed to e?ert considerable
infl.ence on the ethos of most modern8day societies: The program re9indled both
his fascination 0ith "ristotle and his critical attit.de to0ard ma9ing "ristotleC
or anyone else for that matterCa so.rce of spirit.al a.thority: Krishnam.rti*s
style of dialog.e3 starting 0ith not89no0ing and relying on constant @.estioning3
often reminded me of !ocrates* method3 practiced in the "thenian mar9etplace
o6er t0o millennia ago:
J
%.ring l.nch on Th.rsday3 May M3 Krishnam.rti and 'a6i 'a6indra engaged in
an easygoing yet probing con6ersation3 p.nct.ated by friendly la.ghter3 abo.t the
scientific mind and its method of obser6ing and e?amining disinterestedly:
2!ir35 Krishnam.rti remar9ed earnestly3 lightly to.ching the other man*s arm3
2yo. 9no0 the scientific approachCs9eptical3 do.bting3 @.estioning3 al0ays
@.estioning3 and impartial3 right45
2#ell3 Krishna1i35 'a6i replied3 2it*s probably 6ery m.ch the 0ay yo. in@.ire
into an iss.eA ob1ecti6e3 .nbiased3 and so on:5
2R.ite right3 sir3 .p to that point 0e are of one mind: -.t 0hy don*t most of
the scientists apply those same rational3 disinterested standards of in@.iry to their
daily lifeCyo. 9no03 0itho.t self8interest3 and so on4 7o. follo04 Or e6en to
e?amine the conse@.ences of their 0or93 0hich may be .sed for all sorts of
destr.cti6e p.rposes45 )e pa.sed to allo0 the other to respond:
The professor seemed hesitant to e?plain or defend the scientist*s moral
dilemma: Typically3 Krishnam.rti as9ed @.estions 0hich 0ere descriptions of
fact and 0hich3 therefore3 did not ha6e an immediate ans0er: They re6ealed a
deeper meaning3 if one @.ietly pondered them 0itho.t h.rrying to find a reply:
'a6i ga6e a daGGling bright smile and sidestepped the @.estion by remar9ing
0ith affection3 2Krishna1i3 yo. really are a scientist of the internal:5
It 0asn*t meant as flattery3 and tho.gh Krishnam.rti didn*t respond directly3
he seemed @.ite pleased 0ith this description:
The follo0ing day at l.nch3 Krishnam.rti as9ed 'a6i3 0ho 0as staying at
"rya /ihara3 2!ir3 yo. ha6e st.died the ancient &ree9 philosophers: 7o. ha6e
read "ristotle and his 0or9: %o yo. thin9 he had an insight45
)e imparted a special meaning to the term Hinsight*Cit 0as the ill.mination
of the total h.man acti6ity: 'a6i had a s0ift3 bright mind and a fine sense of
h.mor3 so he ans0ered 0ith a smile3 2#ell3 I don*t 9no0: +erhaps3 yes3 he
probably had insight into some things:::5
The con6ersation flo0ed on 0ith m.ch h.mor and affection3 to.ching on
+lato3 !t: Thomas "@.inas3 Kant3 instein3 -ohm and others3 and Krishnam.rti
0as royally en1oying himself: 'a6i told a 1o9e and3 to e6eryone*s am.sement3
Krishnam.rti3 still la.ghing3 responded in 9ind: 2I heard this 1o9e the other day35
he said: 2T0o friends die and ma9e it to hea6en: They ha6e 0ings and haloes and
are abo6e the clo.ds: One man says to the other3 HIf 0e*re dead and in hea6en3
0hy do I feel so a0f.l4*5
#hen the la.ghter had s.bsided3 'a6i mentioned t0o 0ell89no0n Indian
teachers of the past3 Nagar1.na and +atan1ali: )e e?plained that there 0as no
s.ch thing as an Indian school of philosophy3 in the strict #estern academic
sense: Krishnam.rti responded3 2,orget all that academic st.ff for a momentC
sorryC0hat does philosophy mean4 It*s the lo6e of tr.th3 the lo6e of life3 not the
lo6e of boo9s: It*s a li6ing thing:5
'a6i politely deferred to the older man by mo6ing a0ay from the academic
standpoint3 and the con6ersation flo0ed on to the -rahmanical tradition:
,.ndamentally3 Krishnam.rti re1ected all organiGed beliefs3 c.lts3 religions3
philosophies3 g.r.s and spirit.al a.thority: "t the same time3 ho0e6er3 he
retained a fondness for some of the original aspects of 0orld religions: )e often
e?pressed profo.nd respect for the fig.re of the -.ddha3 and e6ery once in a
0hile he co.ld be heard e?tolling the 6irt.es of 0hat he called the Horiginal*
-rahmanical tradition:
No0 he 0as telling 'a6i3 2!ir3 the other day I 0as on an airplane3 in the first8
class section3 and on the other side of the aisle there 0as an older gentleman3
6ery c.lt.red3 apparently 0ealthy3 fine clothes and all that: )e 0as from a
M.slim co.ntry3 as he told me: "t mealtime3 the ste0ardess bro.ght the food on
a trayCmine 0as 6egetarian: The gentleman noticed it and as9ed me abo.t it: !o
I told him abo.t the real -rahmanical tradition3 the original one3 0hich had been
going on for cent.riesCyo. 9no0 sir3 6ery strict3 6ery a.stere3 and 0itho.t
compromiseA no meat3 no alcohol3 and so on3 insisting on immac.late cleanliness
Cyo. 9no0 ho0 f.ssy they can be:::5 )e p.lled a f.nny face3 implying that he
also cherished the cleanest in hygiene and sanitary conditions3 b.t he clearly did
not condone the e?treme forms of -rahmanical cond.ct3 0hich forbade a
-rahmin to to.ch a person from a lo0er caste3 or e6en to to.ch a physical ob1ect
to.ched by a non8-rahmin: Nor did he practice any of the rit.alistic cleansings
and 0ashings that orthodo? -rahmins engaged in:
2!o I described to him35 he contin.ed3 20hat 0as behind that a.sterity3 that
demand for p.rityCthe real integrity of that 0ay of lifeCnot 1.st empty 0ords
and dead tradition3 b.t li6ingCyo. 9no03 sirCreal:5 )e clenched his fist
emphatically3 and his face became intense 0ith the strength of inner passion3
con6eying 0hat he meant by the 0ord Hreal* 0ith a po0erf.l b.rst of energy3
0hich seemed to fill the room: 2"nd the other man became 6ery c.rio.s abo.t
the 0hole thing3 so he as9ed the ste0ardess 0hether he co.ld change his food
and also ha6e a 6egetarian meal: "nd so he tried it:5
#e 0ere all impressed: "fter a pa.se3 Krishnam.rti contin.ed in an almost
confidential tone3 2-.t yo. 9no03 sir3 this original3 tr.e -rahmanical traditionC
not to be corr.pted by anythingChardly e?ists any moreA not in India3 nor
any0here else: #ho no0adays li6es that 0ay4 No3 no35 he ans0ered his o0n
@.estion3 2all that is gone:5 "nother dramatic pa.se3 then3 as if to confirm that
p.re lifestyle thro.gh his o0n person and 0ay of li6ing3 he e?claimed 0ith a
sense of affirmati6e 1oy3 2-.t the strength and bea.ty that is in thatK thin9 of it3
sirL5
"fter a brief inter6al of silence3 'a6i @.ietly as9ed3 2-.t ho0 did it happen3
Krishna1i4 #hy has the tr.e3 .ncorr.pted -rahmanical 0ay of life become
e?tinct45
Krishnam.rti ga6e him a s.rprised loo9: 27o. 9no0 ho0 these things
happen3 sirK it becomes organiGed and instit.tionaliGed3 0ith leaders and
follo0ers3 the leaders sed.cing and e?ploiting the follo0ers3 and 6ice86ersa: In
that is already the seed of 6iolenceA beca.se self8interest is the beginning of
6iolence3 and obedience is 6iolence:5
'a6i mentioned the famo.s chapter from the Indian epic3 the !ahabharata3
0hich describes the dialog.e bet0een Krishna3 the di6ine charioteer3 and the
0arrior prince3 "r1.na3 as they are positioned bet0een the t0o opposing fronts3
preparing for the decisi6e battle: 2Krishna tells him that it is the d.ty of the
0arrior3 his right action3 to fight for his ca.se3 e6en if it in6ol6es 9illing: -eca.se
life and death are one53 the scholar e?plained:
%.ring p.blic tal9s in India3 Krishnam.rti often too9 partic.lar delight in
pointing o.t that he had not read any of the sacred boo9s3 not e6en the Cha#avad
AitaCthe chapter that 'a6i 0as referring to3 often p.blished as a boo9 in its o0n
right and considered sacred by many )ind.s: No0 he @.ic9ly mo6ed a0ay from
script.ral theory to li6ing act.ality3 responding3 2-.t 0hy 9ill4 #hy 9ill at all3
sir4 Nobody e6er as9s that @.estion: "l0ays one partic.lar form is singled o.t
and condemnedCn.clear3 laboratory animalsCyo. follo04 They ne6er as9 the
total @.estion: They 9eep saying it*s for the national good3 and so on: "nd yo.
9no0 the tric9s the leaders come .p 0ith: 6en &andhiCI .sed to 9no0 him
personallyC0ith his so8called non86iolence3 attempting to force others to
comply 0ith his 0ishes and demands thro.gh fasting: That*s not non86iolenceL
Or thin9 of it3 sir35 he t.rned to f.lly face 'a6i3 2&andhi .sed to sleep 0ith a
yo.ng girl3 I belie6e it 0as his nieceCnot sleep 0ith3 b.t sleep in the same bed3
and then he 0o.ld tal9 abo.t not feeling any se?.al desire3 yo. 9no03 not being
aro.sed3 being celibate: Can yo. imagine 0hat m.st be going on in a man li9e
that45
I 0as p.GGled to hear abo.t the Indian national hero*s strange beha6ior and
as9ed3 2-.t 0hy did he do that45
2To test himself3 to pro6e his asceticism: -.t no concern for the girl3 0hat she
might feel:::5
'a6i no0 addressed the @.estion of teacher and st.dent3 g.r. and disciple3
and as9ed Krishnam.rti 0hy he re1ected the 6al.e of that relationship: 2In a
certain sense3 Krishna1i35 he pointed o.t3 2all of .s here are yo.r disciples: #e
are listening to yo.3 0e are learning from yo.3 and yo. are teaching .s: Ta9e
Michael here35 he said3 pointing at me3 2he is dedicated to yo.3 and one can
easily imagine him to be yo.r disciple:5
"t the mention of my name3 and the prospect of being cast as Krishnam.rti*s
disciple3 I felt a s.dden emotional .ps.rge3 0hich left me in t0o minds: On one
hand3 the notion of being his disciple appealed to me in a solemn3 old8fashioned
0ay3 altho.gh I 0asn*t @.ite s.re ho0 to reconcile this 0ith being his friend:
O#as it possible to be someone*s disciple and friend at the same time4P On the
other3 I co.ld see the inherent contradiction in discipleship3 the old tric9 of po0er
and 9no0ledge:
Krishnam.rti ga6e an am.sed la.gh3 sha9ing his finger at 'a6i: 2"h3 no3 sirL
That*s the old game of HI 9no0* and Hyo. don*t*3 of initiation3 of the transmission
of the secret 9no0ledge3 and all that traditional nonsense: #e are saying
something entirely different3 sir: #e are mo6ing together3 e?ploring together3
disco6ering and learning togetherCother0ise3 0hat*s the point of it4 Then 0e
are bac9 to methods3 systems3 and the st.ff that*s been going on in the name of
religion for tho.sands of years: "nd yo. 9no0 0hat that has res.lted inA conflict3
sorro03 and 0ar 0itho.t end:5
#e didn*t go any f.rther into this @.estion beca.se 'a6i had to lea6e for the
airport to catch his flight home to Canada: )e affectionately than9ed .s for o.r
hospitality and bade .s fare0ell:
J
!at.rday3 May E3 0as the day of the f.ll moon: #e 0ere eight for l.nch3
incl.ding the ne0ly 0edded &rohes: The con6ersation 0as abo.t cars:
Krishnam.rti li9ed e?cellence in all fields of h.man endea6or: )e appreciated
good clothes3 good 0atches3 and other man8made things that 0ere of practical
.se in e6eryday life: )e had a special fondness for good cars3 and his fa6orite
0as the Mercedes: I too9 the opport.nity to as9 him3 2Krishna1i3 0hy don*t yo.
e6er .se a 'olls8'oyce or a -entley3 0hich are famo.s for being the most
e?@.isite cars4 #hy do yo. prefer a Mercedes45
2'olls8'oyces are m.ch too pretentio.s3 too ostentatio.s: Mercedes cars are
more s.bd.ed3 and they ha6e the best engineering: They 0ere the first e6er to
b.ild cars3 so they ha6e to be good:5
"s 0e tal9ed abo.t the latest a.tomoti6e inno6ations3 someone prod.ced a
broch.re of the 19;= Mercedes models: Together 0e th.mbed thro.gh the
catalog.e3 admiring the slee9 machines and their hefty prices: Krishnam.rti
admitted to li9ing the loo9s and other details of the =II !$ co.pe: $oo9ing at
the price list3 he 0ondered3 2)o0 m.ch 0o.ld this car cost3 if one bo.ght it
here45
rna t.rned to0ard me3 2Can*t 0e find o.t ho0 m.ch it costs45
I remembered that the nearest Mercedes dealership 0as in !anta -arbara3 so I
1.mped from my seat and said3 2I*ll find o.t3 sir:5 " phone call confirmed that
the basic stic9er price 0as Y=;3III: I promptly relayed the data3 and it became
clear that one co.ld sa6e almost Y1I3III if one bo.ght the car from the factory in
&ermany and shipped it to the (:!: Krishnam.rti loo9ed impressed b.t seemed
.n0illing to commit himself3 especially since there 0as already a E=I !$C dar98
green sports co.pe in the garage3 less than ten years old 0ith .nder 1=3III miles
on the odometer3 in mint condition3 and3 for all practical p.rposes3 his:
J
T0o days later3 as 0e 0ere clearing the table after l.nch3 he too9 me aside
confidentially:
2Michael3 can yo. do me a fa6or45
2Of co.rse3 sir:5
2%o yo. 9no0 the a.thor $eon (ris45
I immediately ass.med that he 0as on the point of telling me that the 0riter
of se6eral famo.s action yarns 0as going to 1oin .s for l.nch: Then realiGing that
he as9ed 0hether I had heard his name before3 I ans0ered3 2#ell3 yes: )e 0rote
J,odus and se6eral other ad6ent.re stories:5
)e grabbed my arm gently b.t 0ith a sense of passionate .rgency: 27es3
that*s right3 sir: Can yo. go into to0nCb.t please don*t ma9e an e?tra trip for
it::: the ne?t time yo. dri6e into to0n to shop3 co.ld yo. b.y me some of his
thrillers at the boo9store there4 To%aL is one I ha6en*t read: Mrs: >imbalist is
6ery b.sy 0ith the correspondenceCI don*t 0ant to as9 her: !he*ll pay yo. the
money for them:5
2I*ll be going into to0n this afternoon to do some shopping at the mar9et: !o
I*ll see if they ha6e any of his boo9s:5
2Than9 yo.3 sir35 he said and left the 9itchen thro.gh the patio door:
$ater that afternoon3 I dro6e into to0n and3 apart from r.nning a fe0 other
errands3 bo.ght t0o paperbac9s by $eon (ris at the local boo9store in the
"rcade:
J
%.ring mid0ee93 before the start of the tal9s3 0e had a small l.ncheon 0ith 1.st
se6en of .s: #e tal9ed abo.t )itler3 M.ssolini and !talin3 and their totalitarian
regimes3 0hich had perpetrated horrible crimes against h.manity: !omeone
remar9ed3 2The 0orst crime in the history of man9ind m.st ha6e been the
)oloca.stCmillions of <e0s and other innocent people systematically 9illed in
the concentration camps of NaGi &ermany:5
Krishnam.rti 0as seldom ready to ma9e a scapegoat of anyone: )e 0as
rooted in the present moment and therefore seemed able to ha6e a global o.tloo9:
)e said3 2)orrible things ha6e happened in the past and are happening in the
0orld today: The concentration camps are still going on: It 0asn*t only the
&ermans 0ho committed the )oloca.stK there are holoca.sts going on right no0:
7o. 9no0 0hat*s happening in the 0orldA Cambodia3 "frica3 '.ssia and China:
Not only si? million of a partic.lar gro.p of people3 there are millions more no03
tort.red and 9illed for ideologies3 and 0e are indifferent to it all: "nd yo.*6e had
yo.r o0n holoca.st here in "mericaA the e?termination of the 'ed IndiansCface
it3 sirL5
The con6ersation no0 t.rned to ongoing conflicts in the 0orldA Iran and Ira@3
Northern Ireland3 the $ebanon: !omeone criticiGed the Israeli go6ernment for
e?cessi6ely s.ppressing the +alestinian pop.lation: -.t Krishnam.rti3 as he
.s.ally did3 sta.nchly defended Israel3 2No3 sir: #hat can Israel do4 !he*s
p.shed against the 0all: !he*s s.rro.nded by 0ol6es3 0ith her bac9 to the sea:
#here is she to go4 !he has no choice b.t to defend herself: No3 please3 see the
0hole sit.ation:5
J
The first day of the 19;= O1ai Tal9s 0as !at.rday3 May 1M3 0hich also happened
to be Krishnam.rti*s ninetieth birthday: "s I .s.ally did on s.ch days3 I started
l.nch preparation early in the morning3 so that e6erything 0as ready by ele6en
o*cloc9: Th.s3 I 0as able to dri6e to the Oa9 &ro6e3 eight miles 0est of "rya
/ihara and attend the tal9 at 11AFI3 0hich normally lasted bet0een si?ty and
ninety min.tes: "fter0ards3 I*d r.sh bac9 to ser6e l.nch on time bet0een 1AFI
and MAII p:m:
Krishnam.rti ne6er celebrated his birthdayK far from allo0ing one to
congrat.late him3 he did not really appreciate one*s mentioning it: !o3 1.st before
lea6ing for the Oa9 &ro6e3 I 0ent into the rose garden and pic9ed a single rose3
magnificent3 dar9 crimson and fragrant3 and placed it in a 6ase in front of his
place at the table:
It 0as a c.rio.s day3 cold3 o6ercast and grayish: #hen I arri6ed at the Oa9
&ro6e3 I had diffic.lty locating my reser6ed seat amidst the tho.sands of people
and finally sat on the periphery3 0here there 0as m.ch coming and going: " man
ne?t to me 9ept ma9ing 1er9y mo6ements and tal9ing lo.dly to himself3 0hile
t0o army helicopters circled noisily o6erhead: I 0as rather distracted and had
diffic.lty follo0ing 0hat Krishnam.rti 0as saying: -.t he 0as f.ll of intensity
and a fe0 times resorted to parado?ical form.lations to ma9e his point: 2%on*t
listen to the spea9er35 he said3 2listen to yo.rself:5 $ater he remar9ed ironically3
2Therefore all the religions of the 0orld::: say they*re the di6ine re6elation3
directly from the horse*s mo.th:::5
The ne?t day the 0eather impro6ed3 the s.n piercing and grad.ally dispersing
the clo.ds: Krishnam.rti addressed the comple? @.estion of g.iltA ho0 it 0as
f.eled by tho.ght and memory3 ho0 .tterly f.tile and destr.cti6e it 0as3 and ho0
it related to sensation3 desire and fear: #e 0ere t0el6e for l.nch that day3
incl.ding +.p.l <aya9ar3 0ho tal9ed at length abo.t her biography of
Krishnam.rti3 0hich she 0as close to finishing:
J
It 0as a b.sy 0ee93 and 0e had a steady flo0 of g.ests from aro.nd the 0orld3
0ho came and had l.nch 0ith Krishnam.rti:
%.ring the second @.estion8and8ans0er meeting on Th.rsday morning3 he p.t
aside the 0ritten @.estions 0hich had been s.bmitted in ad6ance and started to
interact directly 0ith the a.dience3 as9ing them 0hat they really 0anted to tal9
abo.t: #hile con6ersing 0ith se6eral people3 he emphasiGed3 2(se K as a mirror
to 6ie0 yo.rself: The mirror3 the person is not important: #hat he*s saying may
reflect 0hat yo. are:5 "fter the meeting3 fo.rteen of .s3 incl.ding Krishnam.rti3
0ent to the nearby 'anch )o.se 'esta.rant for l.nch3 0hich 0as a delightf.l
change:
-y !at.rday3 the 1;th3 the 0eather had completely t.rnedA it 0as s.nny and
clear3 0ith a rare sharpness3 that allo0ed each min.te detail of the s.rro.nding
hillsides to stand o.t in pristine bea.ty: Krishnam.rti began the tal9 by saying3
2It*s a bea.tif.l morning3 isn*t it4 I hope yo. are en1oying yo.rsel6es:5 )e 0ent
on to tal9 abo.t yoga and its commercialiGation3 and abo.t ra5a yoga3 the 9ing of
yogas3 0hich had no system or discipline b.t 0as abo.t deeply ethical li6ing: )e
added mysterio.sly3 2"nd there is a yoga that cannot be ta.ght to another:5
)e made a fe0 other3 rather startling prono.ncements3 @.ite contrary to
con6entional 0isdom3 s.ch as3 2#here there is fear3 there is &od53 2s.ccess is
.tter mediocrity53 2the 6anity of one*s o0n c.lti6ated intelligence53 and 20e
m.st be terribly honest to o.rsel6es3 other0ise there is no f.n in it:5 )e repeated
the 1o9e abo.t the t0o men in hea6en3 0hich he had told at the l.nch table a fe0
days earlier3 and then commented on the social aspect of h.mor3 2).mor is
necessary: To be able to la.gh3 to find a good 1o9e: To be able to la.gh together3
not 0hen yo. are by yo.rself3 b.t together:5 $ater on3 as he spo9e abo.t pleas.re3
fear and desire3 he said3 2)a6ing a good cigar3 ha6ing a good meal:::5 It 0as the
first time I had heard him mention a good cigar: Krishnam.rti ne6er ceased to
s.rprise me 0ith a ne0 t0ist3 a ne0 glimpse3 something that one co.ldn*t
possibly foresee:
J
The follo0ing day3 !.nday3 May 193 0as the fo.rth and last tal9: None of .s
9ne0 then that this 0as to be his last tal9 e6er at the Oa9 &ro6e: "midst birdsong
in the dappled light among the trees3 he in6o9ed the t0o friends 0ho3 0itho.t
any barriers bet0een them3 shared their intimate problems and together in@.ired
into freedom3 contin.ity and death: )e gra6ely declared3 2There may be no other
certainty3 no other finality3 b.t death:5
#hen some of the a.dience la.ghed at a remar9 of his abo.t death3 he
ad6ised them earnestly3 2+lease3 don*t la.gh: This is m.ch too serio.s: Not that
0e sho.ldn*t ha6e h.mor: It*s good to la.gh3 b.t la.ghter may be the means of
a6oiding facing facts: !o one has to be a0are of that:5 "fter a moment3 he
lightened .p and said3 2Not that 0e sho.ld not ha6e h.mor: $a.gh 0ith all yo.r
being at a good 1o9e:5 "midst increasing la.ghter from his listeners3 he added
0himsically3 2The spea9er has collected a lot of 1o9esCnot 6.lgar 1o9es3 b.t
good 1o9es: -.t the spea9er 0on*t go into that:5
?ploring disorder3 the acc.m.lation of 9no0ledge3 and attachment3 he
pointed o.t3 2#e are 6ast acc.m.lations of memoryK 0e are a b.ndle of
memories:5 )is 0ords str.c9 me as a s.dden re6elation3 e6en tho.gh I had heard
him say similar things before: They 0ere so concrete3 direct and logical3 so
ob6io.s: I heard them and I co.ld obser6e the fact: )e contin.ed to in@.ire into
death and ending3 and la.ghingly reco.nted a story3 2#e .sed to 9no0 a man
0ho had collected a lot of money3 immensely rich: )e 0as dying3 and he 9ept a
lot of it in his c.pboard3 literallyCI happened to be there: )e told his son to open
the c.pboard to loo9 at all the diamonds3 gold and ban9notes: )e 0as loo9ing at
it happily3 and he 0as dying:5
"s the a.dience started la.ghing3 he commented sadly3 2I 9no0:5 "nd3 no0
la.ghing himself3 2)e ne6er realiGed he 0as dyingCbeca.se the money mattered
enormo.sly3 not death:5 )is passion intensified as he in@.ired into religion3
0hich he 6ie0ed as something @.ite different from con6entional ch.rch8going3
rit.als3 and prayers: 26erything that man has p.t together as religion is not
religion:5 )e del6ed into the brain and the mind3 into a0areness and meditation3
stating 0ith .tter h.mility3 2The spea9er has 0atched3 not 1.st his o0n petty little
brain3 b.t the brain of h.manity:5 ,inally he said3 2There is something that is
beyond time3 0hen all time has stopped: That*s the meditation that is the tr.e
religio.s mind:5
I had seldom obser6ed him empty his conscio.sness so completely as on this
occasion: It seemed as if he had drained himself of e6ery last o.nce of energy: I
h.rried to my car and dro6e thro.gh to0n to0ard the east end: On &rand "6en.e
I passed the grey Mercedes sedan3 dri6en by Mary >:3 0ith Krishnam.rti sitting
motionless beside her:
J
There 0ere ele6en of .s for l.nch that day: I had prepared a carrot and ginger
salad3 a marinated articho9e and oli6e salad3 freshly made spinach lasagna3
asparag.s3 and a tropical fr.it salad: $ess than half an ho.r after my arri6al3
Krishnam.rti entered the 9itchen from the patio3 carrying a fe0 things in his
hands:
2&ood morning3 Krishna1i35 I said3 altho.gh it 0as almost t0o o*cloc9 in the
afternoon:
2&ood morning3 Michael35 he replied and 0al9ed o6er to the 0indo03 0here
he placed three paperbac9s and a small3 flat ob1ect in 0orn8o.t blac9 leather on
the co.nter: I noticed he had changed his clothes and 0as no0 0earing bl.e
1eans3 a na6y8bl.e 0oolen cardigan and s.ede loafers: Only the green3 ra08sil9
shirt had he been 0earing earlier that morning: I loo9ed into his face 0ith some
c.riosity3 as if to ma9e s.re that this 0as the same person 0ho less than t0o
ho.rs ago had gi6en one of the most complete3 ill.minating tal9s I had e6er
heard:
2!o3 that*s that35 he stated simply: I ass.med he 0as referring to the
concl.sion of the tal9s: $eaning against the co.nter3 he loo9ed drained of energy3
b.t self8possessed and @.ietly alert li9e a child: O.t of the bl.e he remar9ed3
2#e sa0 yo. passing .s in the car:5 I didn*t @.ite 9no0 0hat to say3 beca.se my
mind 0as still aglo0 from the tal9: (s.ally 0e made no comment to
Krishnam.rti on the content or the @.ality of a tal9Cit simply 0o.ld ha6e been
pres.mpt.o.sCb.t I 0as still so o6er0helmed by it that I felt compelled to
stammer3 2It3 it 0as::: incredible3 Krishna1iL5
)e t.rned his head a0ay from me to loo9 o.t the 0indo0 before saying
simply3 2It*s o6er3 sir:5
!o that 0as that: "fter a brief inter6al of silence3 I too9 a deep breath and3
gathering my 0its abo.t me3 t.rned my attention to the ob1ects on the co.nter:
2#hat*s this3 sir45 I as9ed:
2!ome thrillers3 Michael35 he replied: 2!ee if yo.*6e read any of them: "nd
this is an alarm cloc9: If it*s any .se to yo.3 yo. can ha6e it:5
I pic9ed it .p caref.lly and 0as s.rprised at its 0eight: It too9 me se6eral
moments of g.essing and f.mbling before I managed to open it: Its s@.are3 gold8
trimmed face bore the 0atchma9er*s name: 2<aeger8$e Co.ltre35 I e?claimed3
remembering the name from The Ne0 7or9er ads of ill.strio.s !0iss
horologists: 2Than9 yo. 6ery m.ch3 sir:5
)e br.shed aside my e?.berant gratit.de3 2I thin9 it still r.ns fairly
acc.rately:5
+lacing it bac9 on the co.nter3 I said3 2#e ha6e @.ite a fe0 g.ests today:5
2Is e6erything ready45 he as9ed: 2!hall I tell them45
#e proceeded to meet the other nine g.ests: The con6ersation 0as rather
lo089eyA abo.t Krishnam.rti*s forthcoming 1o.rney to -roc90ood +ar93
ngland: Krishnam.rti himself 0as @.iet and 0ithdra0n3 empty of the demands
of ordinary time3 obli6io.s of ordinary h.man endea6ors: #e 9ept the l.nch
brief3 since e6eryone 9ne0 he needed some rest:
Cha%ter -0
T ) $ O N &
& O O % 8 - 7
<: Krishnam.rti
Krishnamurti7s Journal
Thou#ht cannot hold this moment*
$or this moment is not o$ time.
This moment is the endin# o$ time+
time has sto%%ed at that moment*
there is no movement at that moment
and so it is not related to another moment.
/t has no cause
and so no be#innin# and no end.
Consciousness cannot contain it.
/n that moment o$ nothin#ness
ever"thin# is.
It 0as the Monday after the end of the tal9s3 and in fi6e days Krishnam.rti 0as to
lea6e O1ai for ngland: "t table3 the nine of .s 0ere eating rather pensi6ely3 and
the con6ersation 0as monosyllabic: 6eryone seemed to be absorbed in their
o0n tho.ghts: I 0as beginning to feel self8conscio.s and ner6o.s3 and my brain
0as hectically scrambling for something to say: -.t I co.ldn*t @.ite thin9 of
anything3 not e6en a ne0s item: In fact3 I hardly 9ne0 0here to loo93 since I 0as
facing Krishnam.rti3 0ho loo9ed li9e a monolith of stillness3 stern yet at ease:
#hile I concentrated on the food in front of me3 I listened to the so.nds of 9ni6es
and for9s against plates3 and the fe0 0ords e?changed bet0een long inter6als of
silence:
!.ddenly I loo9ed .p and enco.ntered Krishnam.rti*s f.ll gaGe: I 0as
loo9ing directly into his eyes3 0hich 0ere @.ietly obser6ing me: )e didn*t flinch
or a6ert his gaGe b.t 9ept on gaGing at me 0ith enormo.s @.iet.de: ,or the
instant that o.r eyes met3 I tho.ght I 0as gaGing into star9 blac9ness3 into 6ast
emptiness: There 0as no reaction on his part3 no smile3 no recognition3 no
1.dgment3 only 0atching: I tho.ght for a moment that the 0hole impersonal force
of nat.re 0as contacting me3 the limitless depth of space itself 0as 0atching my
e6ery mo6e: I felt a tremendo.s shoc93 less of apprehension than of s.dden
alertness: My heart 0as beating strongly: 'eleasing a long breath3 I rela?ed3 and
only an .n.s.al sensation remained3 dis@.ieting b.t 6ag.e and hard to define:
The man ne?t to Krishnam.rti3 a radio 1o.rnalist and old ac@.aintance of his
from ".stralia3 started to as9 him a n.mber of @.estions abo.t the dissol.tion of
the Order of the !tar in 19M9:
2#hy did yo. choose to disband the organiGation3 Krishna1i45
2I didn*t choose it3 sir: I*6e ne6er made a choice in my life: It simply became
ine6itable: #hen there is clarity3 there is no choice:5
The con6ersation bet0een them contin.ed3 foc.sing on man*s search for
tr.th: 2One cannot see9 tr.th35 Krishnam.rti said after a 0hile: 2There is a
bea.tif.l story abo.t thisK I don*t 9no0 if yo.*6e heard it before: " yo.ng man
lea6es home to see9 tr.th3 and he tra6els all o6er the 0orld3 st.dies 0ith many
teachers3 ac@.iring 9no0ledge and s9ills: -.t someho0 tr.th al0ays el.des himA
he*s ne6er @.ite able to get a hold of it: #hen he*s an old man3 he ret.rns home
and opens the door3 and there it is: Tr.th 0as there all the timeK it 0as 0aiting for
him all the time: Tr.th cannot be so.ght after35 he concl.ded:
"fter a long inter6al of silence3 the man 0ent on 0ith his @.estioning: 2-.t
0hy do yo. tal93 Krishna1i45
2I really don*t 9no0 0hat else to do35 Krishnam.rti ans0ered 0ith h.mility:
2I really 0o.ldn*t 9no0 0hat to do: I*6e done it all my life3 yo. .nderstand3 sir4
In the beginning3 I 0as horribly shy3 and it 0as a pain for me to spea9 in p.blic: I
tried all sorts of thingsA for a 0hile I .sed to spea9 from behind a c.rtain3 b.t
then I ga6e it .pCit 0as too silly:5
#e all la.ghed at the image of the yo.ng man spea9ing to an a.dience from
behind a c.rtain: It 0as a relief to la.gh:
" teacher as9ed him3 2-.t 0hat abo.t all the 0orship and adoration yo.
recei6e3 sir3 especially in India45
2Not only in India35 Krishnam.rti replied3 2here too:5 "nd he shot an ironical
glance aro.nd the table: 6eryone seemed to meet his gaGe3 as if to assert
silently3 HNot me*: !.ddenly he b.rst o.t in 1oyo.s la.ghter3 e?claiming3 2It*s all
so craGy3 it*s all so .tterly abs.rdL5
"ltho.gh I 1oined him in his .ninhibited la.ghter3 I 0as still p.GGled by 0hat
he meant by Hit*: "fter o.r e?hilaration died do0n3 I as9ed3 2Krishna1i3 0hat do
yo. mean by Hit*4 7o. mean the tal9s and all this45 I gest.red generally to0ard
the other g.ests at the table3 incl.ding the 0hole sit.ation that 0e fo.nd
o.rsel6es in: There 0ere still tears of la.ghter in his eyes3 as he t.rned to loo9 at
me: 27es3 sir3 all of that3 and the 0hole circ.s aro.nd him35 he replied 0ith a
p.c9ish smile3 pointing his slender inde? finger to0ard his chest: !o3 altho.gh all
of .s certainly 0ere part of the circ.s3 0e 1oined his delight:
J
T0o days later3 the former &o6ernor of California3 <erry -ro0n3 and an aide of
his3 came to ha6e l.nch 0ith Krishnam.rti: I didn*t ha6e m.ch of a chance to
follo0 their con6ersation3 since I 0as sitting at the far end of the table3 b.t from
the snippets I 0as able to gather3 their approaches and concerns 6aried
considerably:
Krishnam.rti 9ept emphasiGing the larger conte?t3 stressing the need for a
transformation in conscio.sness: "t one point he said to the go6ernor3 2!ir3 if
only fi6e people get together and do the right thing3 yo. 9no03 really go into this3
they co.ld affect the conscio.sness of all h.manity:5
Mr: -ro0n3 by contrast3 seemed more concerned 0ith ecological iss.es and
tal9ed abo.t high a.tomoti6e f.el cons.mption3 the res.lting poll.tion3 and
related statistical data: )is approach 0as 6ia o.ter3 reg.latory action: "ltho.gh
they agreed on a n.mber of iss.es3 they did not see eye to eye on the more
f.ndamental @.estions:
J
On se6eral occasions3 I had seen Krishnam.rti enth.siastically 0ash his
Mercedes3 both here and at -roc90ood +ar93 sometimes 0ith the help of a staff
member: Obser6ing him polish the 6ehicle 0ith the .tmost care3 I felt a c.rio.s
desire to help him3 to 0or9 together 0ith him at a simple3 menial tas9: "t long
last my 0ish 0as partially f.lfilled 0hen3 after l.nch 0ith &o6ernor -ro0n3 he
as9ed me3 2Michael3 can yo. do .s a fa6or4 Can yo. 0ash and 0a? the green
Mercedes3 the sports co.pe45
27es3 sir3 s.re: #hen 0o.ld yo. li9e me to do it45
2If yo. ha6e time3 this afternoon: Mrs: >imbalist 0ill gi6e yo. all the things
yo. need: I*m sorry I can*t help yo.Cit*s a bit too m.ch for me:5
I hastened to ass.re him that I co.ld easily do it by myself3 and3 after
finishing the clean8.p in the 9itchen3 I phoned Mary >: to tell her that I 0as
coming o6er to 0ash the car:
It 0as a 0arm3 s.nny afternoon: The slee9 green 6ehicle 0as par9ed on the
t.rn8aro.nd in front of the garage beneath the pepper tree: ).ndreds of bees 0ere
b.GGing amidst an ab.ndance of tiny 0hite blossoms3 0hich dangled from the
arching branches: I 0ent at it 0ith chamois3 soap and 0a?3 b.c9ets and drying
cloths3 and a long 0ater hose: I 0anted to clean the car as I had ne6er cleaned a
car before: )alf8fe6erishly3 I gathered my energy to scr.b e6ery s@.are inch of
the forest8green lac@.er: "fter applying the 0a?3 I polished it to a high3 glossy
sheen: The only problem 0as that fine3 microscopic fibers from the polishing
cloth adhered to the mirroring s.rface li9e magnetic filaments: There al0ays
seemed to be a final line that I had to str.ggle to get rid of: ,inally3 the car stood
spar9ling in the s.nlight3 ready for a dri6e to $a9e Casitas:
The follo0ing day3 0hen Krishnam.rti entered the 9itchen 1.st before l.nch3
he commented on my car 0ash 1ob3 27o. really 0ent at it3 sir3 cleaning the car
yesterday afternoon: I 0as 0atching yo. from the 0indo0:5
)e didn*t mean it as praise3 b.t I fo.nd it pleasing that he p.t it this 0ay:
There 0ere eighteen g.ests for l.nch3 and after 0e had cleared the table3
Krishnam.rti approached me in the 9itchen and as9ed3 2"re yo. going shopping
this afternoon3 sir45
27es3 Krishna1iA I ha6e a co.ple of errands to r.n: Can I bring anything for
yo.45
2"s 0e*ll be lea6ing for ngland tomorro03 0e still ha6e a lot of pac9ing to
do: Mrs: >imbalist has her hands f.ll 0ith all sorts of thingsCyo. 9no0A
emptying the larder3 cleaning o.t the refrigerator3 and so on:5 )e prod.ced a
small 0hite ceramic 1ar3 0hich he handed to me: 2Can yo. please go to the
pharmacy3 the one across from the post office3 and b.y one of these 1ars4 It*s s9in
cream: It*s @.ite e?pensi6e3 abo.t t0enty dollars: Mrs: >imbalist 0ill gi6e yo.
the money:5
I too9 the small 1ar and st.died the label: It 0as a s9in cream made from
almond oil: "ss.ming that it 0as meant for Krishnam.rti himself3 I tho.ght it
0o.ldn*t last long and that it might be ad6isable to stoc9 .p for a nine8month
absence: I as9ed him3 2"re yo. s.re3 Krishna1i3 that one is eno.gh4 !ho.ldn*t I
get t0o or three 1ars45
)e seemed irritated by my s.ggestion: )e loo9ed at me serio.sly and said
emphatically3 2I 0ant one: Not t0o3 not three3 b.t one and only one: I 0ant one
and no more:5
2"ll right3 sir: I*ll b.y one and bring it o6er to +ine Cottage:5
)e grabbed my arm 0ith a characteristic gest.re and said3 2Than9 yo.3
Michael:5
27o. are 0elcome3 Krishna1i:5
J
,riday3 May ME3 19;= 0as the day of depart.re: #e 0ere ha6ing an early l.nch at
1MAFI p:m:3 so that Krishnam.rti3 Mary >: and Mr: and Mrs: &rohe3 0ho 0ere
tra6eling 0ith them3 co.ld lea6e at MAII p:m: for $"V: There 0ere ele6en of .s
at this l.ncheon3 0hich3 .nbe9no0n to .s3 0as to be the last l.nch Krishnam.rti
e6er had at "rya /ihara: !trangely3 it 0as a rather solemn affair: 6eryone3
incl.ding Krishnam.rti3 0as intensely and .n.s.ally tacit.rn and tho.ghtf.l: I
0as beginning to feel slightly depressed by the pre6ailing mood3 and for some
reason the !ans9rit saying 0hich Krishnam.rti had told me the pre6io.s month
flashed thro.gh my mind: Imp.lsi6ely3 I intoned the sonoro.s phrase into the
@.ietness3 2Anna dathu sukhi bhava:5 "s I recited the 0ords3 I loo9ed at
Krishnam.rti and as9ed3 2?c.se me3 Krishna1i3 is that the correct
pron.nciation45
R.ietly he said3 2Anna dathu sukhi bhava:5
I repeated it after him3 and he corrected me three times in a rather serio.s3
dignified 0ay3 .ntil I got reasonably close to prono.ncing it acc.rately:
The other people at the table follo0ed the e?change bet0een .s 0ith polite
interest3 as if something larger and more significant 0ere occ.pying their minds:
"fter0ards3 the ele6en of .s res.med o.r silent pondering3 p.nct.ated by a fe0
laconic remar9s: Then Krishnam.rti all at once collected himself and said
something into the s.bd.ed air that I had ne6er heard him say before: 'aising his
eyes and 6ery deliberately s.r6eying .s3 he addressed .s indi6id.ally and
collecti6ely3 2Than9 yo.3 all of yo.3 for ha6ing me here: Than9 yo. for all that
yo. ha6e done for K: I ha6e been3 K has been a g.est 0here6er he goes and
stays:5
It 0as a st.nning anno.ncement3 deli6ered 0ith a sense of deep serio.sness3 a
royal dignity that co.ldn*t be to.ched or @.estioned: "t the same time3 there 0as
s.ch h.mility abo.t it3 s.ch g.ileless and simple innocence3 that it to.ched me at
the core of my being: Maybe the others3 also3 0ere startled by his
.npretentio.sness: "t any rate3 o.r normally @.ic9 and eager egos fo.nd
themsel6es .nable to react to his 0ords: "fter an inter6al of alert silence3 se6eral
people started to protest that the ,o.ndation3 the property3 really 0ere all his3
bearing his name3 and so on: !omeone as9ed 0hether 0e 0eren*t in fact all
g.ests here on earth: #hile these animated e?changes 0ere ta9ing place3
Krishnam.rti remained silent: $istening and obser6ing3 he seemed far remo6ed
from the commotion: )e sat as if clothed in dignity and an .nto.chable
serio.sness that rested in itself: )e 0as a roc9 in the flood of o.r agitation:
$.nch o6er3 e6erybody rose: )alf an ho.r later3 se6eral of .s 0ere lined .p
beneath the pepper tree to say goodbye to him: "s he shoo9 hands 0ith one of
the directors3 he said to him3 2!ee yo. in India in %ecember3 sir53 referring to an
international ed.cational conference at 'ishi /alley that fo.r of the O1ai staff3
incl.ding myself3 0ere going to attend:
,inally he came to sha9e my hand and said 0ith a smile3 2!ee yo. in
'o.gemont3 Michael:5
)e 0as all.ding to the 6illage near !aanen in !0itGerland3 0here he 0as
going to be staying d.ring the <.ly &atherings: )e and Mary >: had as9ed me
earlier to do the coo9ing for them there3 since the Italian lady 0ho had prepared
their meals for many years 0as too old to contin.e: I had gladly agreed to their
re@.est:
2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1i35 I replied: 2)a6e a good 1o.rney:5
"fter 0e had sec.red the s.itcases on the l.ggage rac9 of the ne0 school 6an3
Krishnam.rti3 Mary >: and the &rohes got in3 and 0e 0a6ed them goodbye as
they dro6e off:
%id any of .s ha6e the slightest in9ling that this 0as the last goodbye3 the last
time that 0e 0ere to 0a6e fare0ell to him beneath the pepper tree4
$ess than t0o months later3 in mid8<.ly3 19;=3 a 0ildfire started at the 0est
end of the 6alley3 near the Maricopa )igh0ay3 and slo0ly ad6anced3 fanned by
strong 0inds and hot dry 0eather3 to0ard the eastern part of the 6alley:
!.bse@.ently3 flames flared .p along the so.thern ridges3 eng.lfing !.lph.r
Mo.ntain and -lac9 Mo.ntain: The 0hole 6alley 0as at once encircled by a ring
of fire3 that raged for fi6e days and nights: %ense smo9e and fine 0hite ash filled
the air: The s.n 0as only 6isible as a dim orange sphere3 shedding an eerie
reddish light o6er the 6alley: On t0o consec.ti6e nights 0e had to e6ac.ate "rya
/ihara3 beca.se the conflagration had come 0ithin a fe0 h.ndred yards of the
b.ildings: It 0as the 6aliant effort of tho.sands of firefighters that contained the
flames3 combined 0ith good fort.ne that made the 0inds change direction 1.st in
time:
#hen the flames finally died do0n and the smo9e cleared3 it seemed a
miracleA there 0eren*t any serio.s in1.riesK no one had died3 nor had any homes
been destroyed: -.t the s.rro.nding mo.ntains and 0ilderness trails 0ere
completely de6astated: It 0as a 0asteland of b.rned8o.t tree st.mps3 0ith blac9
and grey ashes3 and the cada6ers of many small animals:
J
It t.rned o.t that I co.ld only partially f.lfill my coo9ing assignment in
'o.gemont3 as I arri6ed at the l.sh8green alpine 6alley a 0ee9 after the tal9s had
ended: Than9f.lly3 I 0asn*t altogether too late3 since Krishnam.rti 0as staying
for another t0o 0ee9s:
It 0as a pleasant s.rprise to find that I 0as to li6e in the same chalet as
Krishnam.rti: %r: +arch.re and 'aman +atel3 the chef at -roc90ood +ar93 had
been sharing the do0nstairs apartment and didn*t mind an additional roommate:
Krishnam.rti and Mary >: had the .pstairs apartment: Thro.gho.t the tal9s3
'aman had been preparing the meals at the chalet3 and for the remaining t0o
0ee9s 0e agreed to share the 9itchen d.ties:
!oon I learned the shoc9ing ne0sA Krishnam.rti had decided that3 after
t0enty8fi6e years3 the tal9s 1.st concl.ded 0ere to be the last !aanen Tal9s: In
f.t.re years3 only one ann.al &athering 0o.ld ta9e place in .ropeCat
-roc90ood +ar9: In this 0ay3 the need for e?tensi6e tra6eling and the res.ltant
strain on his energies 0o.ld be minimiGed:
These last days at !aanen 0ith Krishnam.rti 0ere days of leis.re3 and they
had an e?@.isite sense of c.lmination: The chalet had less space than one 0as
acc.stomed to in California3 and3 conse@.ently3 my companions and I 0o.ld
enco.nter Krishnam.rti many times thro.gho.t the day: To be in daily3 physical
pro?imity to him 0as an e?perience of heightened a0areness for me: I became
ac.tely a0are3 not only of my tho.ghts and emotions3 b.t also of my
shortcomings and limitations: It co.ld be demanding3 e6en distressing3 to be so
close to the flame: !ince the nat.re of the flame 0as to be 0itho.t a center3 it
tended to sho0 .p star9ly the solidity of the sel6es 0ithin its range: More than
e6er3 I came into contact 0ith the 0ays in 0hich I compared myself to others3
0ith my desire to be appreciated3 and 0ith the res.lting di6isi6eness3 en6y and
1ealo.sy:
6en so3 the fi6e of .s en1oyed something a9in to a family sit.ation for these
t0el6e days at the beginning of ".g.st: There 0ere fre@.ent g.ests3 s.ch as
/anda !cara6elli3 0ho in the past had rented Chalet Tannegg for Krishnam.rtiK
Mr: &rohe3 0ho genero.sly allo0ed .s the .se of his apartment3 and "sit from
India: They 1oined .s for l.nch and dinner almost e6ery day:
J
,rom 'o.gemont3 Krishnam.rti and Mary >: tra6eled to -roc90ood +ar93 0hile
I 0ent to 6isit my mother in &ermany3 before also going on to the residential
school in )ampshire: The p.blic tal9s at -roc90ood +ar9 0ere from ".g.st ME
thro.gh !eptember 1: Colorf.l a.t.mn 0as in the air and in the foliage of the
many splendid trees3 and Krishnam.rti seemed once more to ha6e gathered
energy from so.rces beyond:
One s.nny morning3 I 0as s.rprised to see se6eral 0or9men setting .p a
yello0 crane ne?t to the t0o large tents3 0here the tal9s 0ere ta9ing place: "
platform connected to the crane 0as hoisted abo6e the le6el of the tents3 from
0here a cameraman filmed the scene of people filing in: "n independent
tele6ision company 0as prod.cing a doc.mentary on Krishnam.rti3 0hich 0as
s.bse@.ently aired in the series The .uman )actor in <an.ary3 19;B: #hen I
later 0atched the half8ho.r program3 entitled The Kole o$ a )lower3 I 0as
s.rprised by the li6eliness and h.mor that Krishnam.rti displayed d.ring the
inter6ie0s: "t one point he responded to the @.estion3 ho0 m.ch longer he might
carry on tal9ing to tho.sands of people3 2I*6e told my friends3 the moment I*m
Hgaga*3 stop me:5 T.rning more serio.s3 he added3 2I*6e got plenty of energy:::5
J
Tho.gh sometimes p.t in the same bas9et as the self8promoting3 commercial
g.r.s3 Krishnam.rti 6ie0ed the 0hole arena of spirit.ality 0ith mar6elo.s
h.mor: " Monsie.r ChZtelain had recently 0ritten a brief satirical essay3 entitled
H)o0 to -ecome a Top &.r.*: It h.moro.sly described ho0 to become a
s.ccessf.l g.r.A by practicing bene6olent facial e?pressions in front of a mirror3
by gro0ing a long beard3 and by gi6ing one*s disciples the ill.sion of spirit.al
progress: #hen the article 0as read o.t to Krishnam.rti at -roc90ood +ar93 he
fo.nd it so hilario.s that he recommended that it be translated and circ.lated: )e
e6en mentioned it d.ring one tal93 describing it as cle6erly 0ritten and f.nny:
J
"ltho.gh the fo.r tal9s and t0o @.estion8and8ans0er meetings in the large tent
sho0ed him in e?cellent form3 he loo9ed frail and infirm on other days: It 0as
clear that he 0as spending all his a6ailable energy on tal9ing to the tho.sands
0ho had come from near and far to hear him spea9: I 0as helping in the school
9itchen and 0o.ld sometimes ta9e his dinner .p to the 0est 0ing: The e6ening
after the end of the tal9s3 I carried a tray 0ith his meal into his bedroom3 0here
he had been resting the 0hole day: "fter 9noc9ing on the door and hearing his
response3 I entered and 0as s.rprised to find the c.rtains dra0n against the rays
of the late s.n: !.ddenly I felt a c.rio.s shyness: )e loo9ed li9e a tiny child in
the h.ge bed3 his to.sled head propped .p against a large pillo03 one hand on a
paperbac9 lying face do0n:
2)ello3 sir35 he smiled 0anly3 and I ret.rned his greeting:
2<.st p.t it there3 Michael35 he said3 pointing to a lo0 table ne?t to the bed: I
had seldom seen him loo9ing so haggard3 tired3 old3 and e?ha.sted: It 0as
heartbrea9ing: I stood ne?t to the bed for a moment3 sensing a great @.iet b.t
incapable of thin9ing of a pertinent remar9: )e loo9ed at me 0ith a 0arm smile
and3 raising one thin arm half0ay3 said3 2Than9 yo.3 Michael:5
2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1i35 I said and @.ietly e?ited the room:
J
"fter tal9ing at length 0ith the architect of the large Centre b.ilding3 that 0as to
be constr.cted the follo0ing year at -roc90ood +ar93 Krishnam.rti departed for
India in late October3 accompanied by Mr: &rohe: Three 0ee9s later3 in
No6ember3 19;=3 I fle0 into -ombay and contin.ed from there by train to
/aranasi3 arri6ing at the ancient city on the &anges after a stren.o.s thirty8ho.r
1o.rney:
The 'a1ghat !chool and d.cational Center is sit.ated at the confl.ence of
the /ar.na and &anges 'i6ers: It is a 6ast property3 0ith many people milling
abo.t: Once I had my room3 I 0ent to loo9 for Krishnam.rti*s ho.se: !.rro.nded
by lo6ely old trees3 it 0as sit.ated high on the ri6er ban93 in 6ie0 of a 6ast s0eep
of the ma1estic stream:
%.s9 0as approaching3 0ith its resplendent richness of colors: !.ddenly I
percei6ed a fig.re in loose3 0hite clothes approaching thro.gh the dim3 saffron8
yello0 lightCit 0as Krishnam.rti: )e 0as accompanied by a gro.p of eight
people3 all dressed in 0ide8flo0ing Indian clothes: My first imp.lse 0as to r.n
to0ard him li9e a child3 b.t I stopped myself3 since I felt .ncertain abo.t the
proper r.les of cond.ct in a land 0here g.r.s 0ere 0orshipped:
6idently3 he had also recogniGed me: )e 9ept coming right at me3 lea6ing his
gro.p of companions behind: It 0as li9e a strong 0a6e s0eeping to0ard me3 and
the only 0ords I co.ld m.ster from my blan9ed8o.t memory ban9s 0ere3 2&ood
e6ening3 Krishna1iL5
Coming .p to me3 he e?claimed 0ith .ndisg.ised s.rprise3 2#hat the hell are
yo. doing here3 Michael45
There 0as an o6er0helming .ps.rge of affection 0ithin me3 so that I co.ld
barely refrain from h.gging him: "t that moment he firmly grasped my arms3 and
I reciprocated by s@.eeGing his thin elbo0s: There 0e 0ere3 arm to arm3 in the
e6ening light: !e6eral of his companions 0ere la.ghing at his choice of 0ords of
0elcome:
2It*s so good to see yo.3 Krishna1i35 I stammered:
2)o0 come yo. are here3 Michael45
"s I started to e?plain3 he s.ddenly said3 27es3 I remember no03 yo. told me
in 'o.gemont: #here are yo. staying45
"fter he had made s.re that I 0as 0ell ta9en care of3 0e 0ished each other
good night and he proceeded 0ith his companions into the ho.se:
,o.r days later3 at nine o*cloc9 in the morning3 the 19;= /aranasi +.blic
Tal9s started in a shaded area beneath the trees: )e began by telling the tho.sand
or so people that he had no intention 0hatsoe6er of helping anyone: Moments
later3 he as9ed affectionately3 2"m I saying something strange4 7o. all loo9 so
damn serio.s:5
,rom the moment he started spea9ing3 I felt a pec.liar 1oy b.bbling .p 0ithin
me: It stayed 0ith me thro.gho.t the tal9 and into the ne?t day:
The follo0ing morning3 d.ring the second tal93 he remar9ed3 2Tears and
la.ghter are part of sensationK h.mor is part of sensation53 follo0ing it 0ith3
2%on*t loo9 at me as if I*m some craGy n.t:5
J
On No6ember MM3 19;=3 he ga6e the third and last p.blic tal9 at 'a1ghat: "lmost
from the o.tset3 he 0as f.ll of mirth and irony3 as9ing in6itingly3 2#o.ld
anybody li9e to come and sit here4 I really mean it3 sir3 yo. can come:5 "nd3
before long3 a bearded yo.ng man 0as sitting ne?t to him on the platform:
Tal9ing abo.t 6ario.s practical s9ills3 he said3 2To learn a s9illA to become an
e?cellent carpenter3 an e?cellent pl.mber3 an e?cellent coo9L5 "t that moment3 he
loo9ed o6er to 0here I 0as sitting3 and as o.r eyes met for a brief instant he
m.rm.red .nder his breath3 2)ello3 Michael:5 Then he t.rned to the a.dience
and said3 2There are se6eral friends of mine3 0ho are 6ery good coo9s: "nd also
6ery good philosophers3 and psychologists and psychiatristsCthey are all here:5
Commenting on the fact that life 0as a str.ggle for most of .s3 he presented
his o0n abbre6iated 6ersion of an e6ol.tionary syllogism3 2Mon9eys str.ggle3 so
0e are mon9eys: " 6ery famo.s a.thorC0e .sed to 9no0 himC0rote3 H+erhaps
0e sho.ld be behind the bars and not the mon9eys:*5
Moments later he told his listeners 0ith good8hearted la.ghter3 27o. are a
craGy cro0d:5 Then after tal9ing abo.t religion3 he said3 2I m.st tell yo. a 6ery
good 1o9eCmay I4 This happens to be hell3 and the de6il is there in the
distance:5 +ointing straight ahead3 he added3 2I*m not pointing at anybody: The
de6il is a0ay in the cornerCyo. 9no03 the Christian de6il 0ith t0o horns and a
tail:5 "nd he p.t t0o fingers li9e horns to his head3 for the benefit of those
among the a.dience .nfamiliar 0ith the mythological beast: 2There are t0o
people tal9ing together3 and one says to the other3 HIt*s 6ery hot here3 isn*t it4*
"nd the other fello0 says3 H7es3 it*s 6ery hot3 b.t it*s dry heat:*5
)e started la.ghing @.ietly at his o0n 1o9e3 then noticed that the ma1ority of
the people did not respond: )e had ob6io.sly neglected the cr.cial point that the
t0o people in hell 0ere a pessimist and an optimist: )e loo9ed aro.nd 0ith a
@.i?otic e?pression and as9ed3 2No 1o9e4 7o. are f.nny people: I*6e got lots of
1o9es: I can*t e6en begin 0ith it:5
T0o days later3 he left /aranasi for Madras and 'ishi /alley:
-y no03 it had become apparent that he 0as not 0ellA he 0as 6isibly losing
0eight3 and his physical energy appeared to be diminishing dramatically: 6en
so3 he 0ent on 0ith staff meetings3 tal9s 0ith the st.dents3 and inter6ie0s3
0itho.t the moment.m slac9ing off:
%.ring one morning*s tal9 0ith the st.dents3 he told the follo0ing storyA 2"
religio.s teacher .sed to deli6er a disco.rse to his disciples e6ery morning: One
morning he is on the point of starting his lect.re and a bird comes flying in and
sits on the 0indo0sill: It sings 0ith all its heart3 and contin.es singing s0eetly
for some min.tes: The teacher doesn*t say a 0ord3 b.t only listens to the bird:
"nd3 after the bird flies a0ay3 he t.rns to his class and says3 HThis morning*s
sermon is o6er:*5
)e ne6er seemed to r.n o.t of anecdotes and stories to tell3 e6en 0hen he 0as
in physical distress: $ater3 d.ring the third dialog.e meeting 0ith the 'ishi
/alley !chool teachers3 he as9ed3 2May I tell yo. a 1o9e4 The other day I 0as
tra6eling by air3 going some0here or other: H#here are yo. from4* somebody
as9ed me: HOh3* I said3 Hsome0here*: "nd he said3 H"ct.ally3 0here are yo.
from4 "re yo. a T.r93 are yo. a +ersian3 are yo. one of the M.slim #orld4* I
said3 HNo3 no3 no:* H#here are yo. from4* I said3 HI*m from the /alley of the
'ishies:* OIt*s rather a good name for this place:P )e said3 H#here is that4* I said3
H7o. 0on*t find it:*5
J
On %ecember 1E3 the International d.cation Conference began3 attended by
teachers from all the Krishnam.rti schools: There 0ere fo.r of .s from O1ai and
fi6e from -roc90ood +ar9: "ltho.gh Krishnam.rti 0anted to be 1.st an
obser6er3 it didn*t ta9e long before he 0as participating f.lly3 raising the
deliberations to a higher le6el: To o.r delight3 he also cheered .s .p 0ith se6eral
of his 1o9es: One of them 0as a p.n on Mysore in the neighboring state of
Karnata9a3 0hich some of .s had 1.st 6isited: 2I ha6e tra6eled all o6er India and
yo. sho.ld see my sore:5
J
%.ring his last fe0 days at 'ishi /alley3 ten to t0el6e of .s 0ent 0ith him for
0al9s among the green paddy fields and fragrant mango gro6es in the po0dery
light of d.s9: "ltho.gh sha9y3 he strode ahead of .s 0ith long energetic strides:
#al9ing 0ith him among the ancient3 roc98stre0n hills 0as a great boon:
J
-efore da0n on %ecember MF3 he departed for Madras: " fe0 days later se6eral
of .s 1oined him at /asanta /ihar: )e certainly 0asn*t 0ellA he felt fre@.ent
fatig.e3 had little or no appetite3 and conse@.ently lost 0eight and stamina:
"ltho.gh se6eral physicians attended him3 none of them 0as able to acc.rately
diagnose the symptoms of 0hat loo9ed li9e a 6ery serio.s condition: It 0as
e?tremely 0orrying:
J
It 0as Christmas %ay3 and I 0as in6ited to come on Krishnam.rti*s e6ening 0al9
on "dyar -each: It 0as the same beach 0here3 se6enty8fi6e years earlier3 as a
boy of fo.rteen3 he had been Hdisco6ered* by some of the theosophical eldersA he
had had a selfless3 p.re a.ra and3 hence3 0as designated the /ehicle of the $ord:
"n ho.r and a half before s.nset t0el6e of .s 0ere dri6en there in three
"mbassador cars thro.gh the spra0ling property of the head@.arters of the
Theosophical !ociety:
"t the other end3 0e filed thro.gh a narro0 gate in the 0all that g.arded the
property and stepped into a scene of dramatic dimensions: Nat.re and the 0hole
earth presented themsel6es 0ith an e?hilarating li6eliness3 0ith an enormo.s
6itality3 re6ealing bea.ty 0itho.t end: " fresh 0ind 0as blo0ing from the bl.e
horiGon3 and s.rf 0as crashing on the yello0 sand beach: In the slanting rays of
the setting s.n3 the colors of s9y3 earth and ocean 0ere brilliantly clear:
The immensity of the moment o6er0helmed my senses: ,or a split second I
e?perienced myself as a min.te dot3 mo6ing .pright on the 6ast c.r6ed s.rface of
the globe: "nd3 as if to gi6e my perception a global conte?t3 something h.ge and
0hite emerged slo0ly from the depth of the sea on the eastern horiGonA the f.ll
moon 0as rising o6er the mirroring 0aters: "t the same moment3 loo9ing 0est3 I
sa0 the s.n setting behind silho.ettes of palms and banyan trees:
#e 0ere strolling in small gro.ps of fo.r along the narro0 asphalt path that
ran parallel to the beach: #e reached the footbridge across the mo.th of the
"dyar 'i6er3 of 0hich only a fragment remained3 and sa0 Krishnam.rti standing
there by himself at the bro9en edge abo6e the ri6er3 his three companions a fe0
feet behind him: )e stood motionless3 a mon.ment of silence3 alone 0ith the
bea.ty of the earth: The 0ind tore at his clothes3 ma9ing them flap noisily li9e
bright sails: )e 0as 0atching se6eral dar98s9inned fishermen in loincloths3
0ading thro.gh the t.rb.lent s.rf and ha.ling in their nets 0ith a fe0 0riggling
fish: "fter a 0hile3 he t.rned to go bac9 from 0here he came: #hen he passed
me3 his face seemed chiseled in gold3 ga.nt b.t l.mino.s: )is 0hite hair 0as
0ildly tossing abo.t3 and he leaned into the sea breeGe as he 0al9ed by: !heer
bene6olence radiated from him:
Cha%ter -3
$ " ! T % " 7 !
<: Krishnam.rti
Krishnamurti to .imsel$
As one looked at that dead lea$
with all its beaut" and color*
ma"be one would ver" dee%l" com%rehend*
be aware o$* what one7s own death must be*
not at the ver" end
but at the ver" be#innin#.
Feath isn7t some horri$ic thin#*
somethin# to be avoided*
somethin# to be %ost%oned*
but rather somethin# to be with
da" in and da" out.
And out o$ that comes
an e,traordinar" sense o$ immensit".
The ne?t day3 Krishnam.rti .ne?pectedly 1oined the foreign g.ests and tr.stees
for l.nch in the g.est dining room: To see him among .s3 tal9ing and eating as he
.sed to3 no.rished o.r hope and allayed o.r fear that he might be incapacitated
by a serio.s illness: The Madras +.blic Tal9s 0ere to start the follo0ing
afternoon3 %ecember M;3 19;=3 and 0e 0ere fairly confident that they 0o.ld
proceed according to sched.le: -.t o6ernight a n.mber of ad6erse symptoms
indicated a precipito.s 0orsening of his health: Most important3 he had
de6eloped an e?tremely high fe6er: $istening closely to the doctors* ad6ice3 he
e?pressed concern for the people 0ho had made great efforts and come from afar
to listen to him: ,inally3 a consens.s 0as arri6ed atA despite his high fe6er3 the
first tal9 0as going to happen as planned that same afternoon:
"lmost from the o.tset of the tal9 it 0as ab.ndantly clear that Krishnam.rti
0as Hnot himself*: )is demeanor and deli6ery3 and a great proportion of 0hat he
said3 indicated beyond do.bt that he 0as fe6erishly ill: "fter the tal9 he managed
to climb do0n sha9ily from the platform and 0as promptly mobbed by cro0ds of
de6oted listeners: )e still had to 0ade thro.gh a s.rging sea of h.manity to reach
the ho.se3 t0o h.ndred yards a0ay: The t0o directors3 from O1ai and -roc90ood
+ar93 @.ic9ly came to his resc.e by ta9ing him in hand and escorting him
thro.gh the t.m.lt.o.s throng: One of them3 li9e a royal herald3 sho.ted o.t
lo.dly3 2Ma9e 0ay3 ma9e 0ayL5 #atched from a distance3 Krishnam.rti
appeared helpless and e?ha.stedK he 0as sha9ing and st.nned:
The follo0ing day it 0as decided to ha6e only t0o more tal9s at Madras3 on
<an.ary 1 and E3 19;B: "ll other programs3 incl.ding the -ombay Tal9s3 0ere
canceled:
,aced 0ith the serio.sness of his as yet .ndiagnosed condition3 he made it
clear that he 0anted to ret.rn @.ic9ly to California 6ia the +acific ro.te: !ince he
planned to arri6e in O1ai 0ithin t0o 0ee9s3 I also needed to get bac9 in a h.rry3
so that I co.ld prepare the 9itchen for this .ne?pected e6ent: I3 conse@.ently3
bo.ght ne0 airline tic9etsA I 0o.ld depart from Madras in the late afternoon of
%ecember FI3 19;=:
-efore lea6ing3 I 0ent to say goodbye to Krishnam.rti: )e 0as in a large bed3
loo9ing @.ite li6ely: &en.inely glad to see me3 he greeted me fondly: I 0as
shoc9ed to see him so haggard3 almost emaciated3 and noticed a large band8aid
on his forehead: )e immediately e?plained3 2I 0as getting o.t of bed last night
and slipped and fell:5 Noticing my shoc9ed concern3 he hastened to add 0ith
childli9e innocence3 2%on*t 0orry: I only 9noc9ed my head against the edge of
the bedCit*s @.ite all right no0:5 )e mo6ed a trembling hand to the in1.red spot:
I told him I 0as lea6ing 0ithin a fe0 ho.rs and shoo9 his gentle3 sensiti6e hands:
"l0ays brief and .nsentimental 0ith good8byes3 he 0as @.ietly confident as he
said3 2)a6e a good 1o.rney3 sir: !ee yo. in CaliforniaL5
J
,rom Madras I fle0 to Ne0 %elhi and on0ard 6ia .rope to California3 arri6ing
in O1ai on <an.ary B3 19;B: ,i6e days later3 <an.ary 113 0e 0elcomed
Krishnam.rti once again beneath the pepper tree: -.t it 0as an e6ent f.ll of
heartbrea9A he 0as drained of energy and horribly thin3 barely managing to 0al9
by himself from the car to +ine Cottage: It t.rned o.t he 0as too 0ea9 to come to
"rya /ihara for l.nch3 and instead he too9 all his min.sc.le meals at +ine
Cottage: Three people attended him aro.nd the cloc9CMary >:3 %r: +arch.re3
and !cott ,orbes3 the latter t0o of 0hom had accompanied him on his flight from
Madras to $os "ngeles:
!ince I 0as b.sy preparing meals for the residents and 6isitors at ":/:3 I
didn*t see m.ch of Krishnam.rti b.t got the ne0s abo.t his c.rrent state of health
primarily from %r: +: 6ery so often there seemed to be a ray of hope and the
promise of rec.peration3 s.ch as 0hen he too9 short 0al9s .p and do0n the
dri6e0ay:
On T.esday3 <an.ary M13 I 0as carrying a tray 0ith l.nch o6er to +ine
Cottage and coming o.t of the orange gro6e onto the t.rn8aro.nd3 0hen a most
.n.s.al sight met my eye: Krishnam.rti 0as sitting motionless on the lo0
circ.lar 0all ro.nd the pepper tree3 0ith %r: +: and !cott 1.st a fe0 feet behind
him3 ready to come to his assistance if needed: )e 0as loo9ing at the conto.rs of
the bl.e hills in the s.nlight3 silently comm.nicating 0ith the earth3 0ith
something beyond the hills and 6alleys: I felt a s.dden shyness o6ercome me3 as
if I 0ere trespassing on sacred gro.nd and 0itnessing the act of lo6e3 death and
creation: "t the same time I 0as appalled by his pallid comple?ion3 his fatig.e
and emaciation: )e didn*t notice me3 as I tiptoed past the gro.p3 b.t the other t0o
@.ietly ac9no0ledged my presence:
-eca.se of intense pain3 he 0as admitted ne?t morning to the intensi6e care
.nit of !anta +a.la )ospital: )is three attendants 0ent 0ith him for the eight
days he spent in hospital: #hile there3 he .nder0ent a n.mber of tests3 0hich
e6ent.ally confirmed that he 0as s.ffering from a malignancy:
It 0as a time of high drama: #hile he 0as being s.b1ected to V8rays3 nose
t.bes3 intra6eno.s feeding3 morphine in1ections3 blood transf.sions3 C"T scans3
and finally an attempted li6er biopsy3 more and more of his friends and associates
from ngland3 India and other parts of the 0orld gathered at ":/: to hear the
ne0s that he had an inc.rable pancreatic cancer: -y no03 some p.blic
anno.ncements had been made concerning the state of his health3 and the
.pcoming O1ai Tal9s in May 0ere officially canceled: Ironically3 they 0o.ld
ha6e been the first tal9s at O1ai 0ith a fi?ed admission charge: Tic9ets had been
printed3 reser6ations made3 and conse@.ently the office 0as obliged to reimb.rse
those 0ho had sent in payments:
J
"t 1IAII a:m: on Th.rsday3 <an.ary FI3 an amb.lance p.lled .p beneath the
pepper tree3 and Krishnam.rti 0as carried on a stretcher by t0o paramedics into
+ine Cottage: " hospital bed and an intra6eno.s drip system had been set .p3 and
n.rses 0ere to loo9 after him aro.nd the cloc9: -y no0 he 0as .nable to ta9e
any food and 0as fed entirely by intra6eno.s means:
J
Carrying a tray into the +ine Cottage 9itchen aro.nd 1AII p:m: on ,ebr.ary 13 I
noticed in passing that the hospital bed had been set .p in the li6ing room: "n
ang.lar metal stand ne?t to the bed had se6eral plastic bottles s.spended from a
chrome arm3 feeding a clear li@.id drop by drop thro.gh transparent t.bes into
the 6eins of the sleeping patient: " male n.rse in an immac.late3 0hite8starched
.niform sat beside the bed3 silently 0atching patient3 monitor and drip system:
On the 0ay o.t3 I briefly pa.sed at a respectf.l distance to ta9e a loo9 at the rare
sight: It 0as something I had ne6er seen beforeA Krishnam.rti asleep:
" frail and tiny child lost amidst billo0ing 0hite linen3 he 0as breathing
gently and reg.larly3 apparently 0itho.t pain for the time being: )is sil6er hair
0as dishe6eled and spread o.t li9e an a.reole aro.nd his still bea.tif.l feat.res:
It 0as an image of heart8brea9ing poignancy: I felt a s.dden .rge to shield and
protect this precio.s life3 at the same time realiGing my .tter helplessness:
Clearly3 nobody 0as e?empt from the la0 of life3 0hich dictated that old age3
disease and death 0ere o.r common lot: )e himself had often tal9ed abo.t it3
1o9ingly @.oting an Italian sayingA 2Tutti #li uomini debbeno morire* $orse
anch7io:5 #hen I had as9ed him 0hat it meant3 he had translated it3 2"ll men
m.st die3 perhaps I3 too:5 Then 0e had all la.ghed: -.t no03 contemplating the
cessation of his life3 la.ghter 0as far from my heart:
"s I loo9ed at him asleep on his sic9bed3 I realiGed that the mysterio.s
protection3 0hich he had en1oyed thro.gho.t his long life and 0hich he himself
had often mar6eled at3 0as still thereCb.t only ten.o.sly so: "ll 0e co.ld do
0as 0atch 0ith silent a0e the .nfolding of his life into its last da0n: I stood
there spellbo.nd3 listening to his gentle breathing: " s.dden3 slight sigh escaped
his lips3 and the dar98s9inned head framed in sno0y80hite stirred: 'emembering
the t0enty8fi6e g.ests in the ":/: dining room 0ho needed my attention3 I
s0iftly e?ited from +ine Cottage:
ntering the room f.ll of people eating and tal9ing3 I e?perienced a sharp
contrastA there3 the gentle breathing of the dying man in the spacio.sness of the
@.iet ho.seK here3 the con6i6iality of his friends: It seemed li9e t0o different
scenes in a thrilling drama: -.t did any of .s ha6e any idea 0hat 0as going on4
%id 0e realiGe the immensity of the e6ent 0e 0ere 0itnessing3 and that 0e 0ere
an integral part of it4
J
In the late afternoon3 0e gathered in the ":/: sitting room to be briefed by %r: +:
on the c.rrent sit.ation regarding Krishnam.rti*s health: None of .s co.ld be
.nder any ill.sion as to the se6erity of his condition: The end 0as in sight: It
might go on for days3 0ee9s3 or e6en months3 b.t nothing 0o.ld pre6ent the
inel.ctable decline: )is condition 0as constantly shifting and resembled a roller8
coaster ride3 ranging from e?treme pain3 scarcely alle6iated by the administration
of morphine3 to moments of pristine l.cidity and clear a0a9enings in meditation:
On a n.mber of occasions3 he ass.red those aro.nd him that the pain9illing dr.gs
had no detrimental effect on his brain and did not diminish his .nderstanding:
%r: +: reported that3 d.ring the preceding night3 Krishnam.rti had been able
to sleep 0itho.t a sleeping pill or any other dr.g3 and that he had 0o9en .p
refreshed and strong: The morning had passed 0itho.t any of the fierce attac9s of
pain3 to 0hich he had been s.b1ect o6er the past fe0 0ee9s: %.ring the co.rse of
the day he had been seeing friends and tr.stees3 0ho had come from o6erseas to
recei6e his final instr.ctions in regard to !chools and ,o.ndations3 and to pay
him their last respects:
Thro.gho.t the night of !.nday to Monday strong 0inds r.shed do0n from
the mo.ntains3 0hirling thro.gh the .nderbr.sh3 sha9ing the trees3 and 0histling
on the roofs and ro.nd the corners of the ho.se li9e po0erf.l spirits of the air: It
0as a night of fierce 6itality3 of the po0ers of nat.re .nleashed:
J
On the afternoon of ,ebr.ary F3 Krishnam.rti as9ed to be ta9en o.tdoors in a
0heelchair3 so he co.ld loo9 at the hills and trees once more: +erhaps he 0anted
to say goodbye to the planet 0hich he lo6ed so m.ch: It did3 in fact3 t.rn o.t to
be the last time he 0as able to be o.t .nder the open s9y3 in the company of trees3
comm.nicating 0ith nat.re:
#e all at once harbored the irrational hope that he 0o.ld be ma9ing a
comebac9Che appeared so fresh and strong:
That same e6ening I 0al9ed o6er to +ine Cottage3 0ith some food for the
people 0ho 0ere ta9ing care of Krishnam.rti: On my 0ay thro.gh the dar9ened
orange gro6e3 I 0as 0ondering 0hether I 0o.ld e6er meet Krishnam.rti again
and ha6e a chance to spea9 0ith him: I felt shy abo.t re@.esting a meeting3 since
I didn*t ha6e any significant last @.estions or statements I 0anted to p.t to him:
Nor did I 0ant to impose on him yet another ego 0ith its petty needs and
attachments: "t the same time3 tho.gh3 he 0as s.ch a splendid friend: )o0 co.ld
I not 0ant to say goodbye to him3 e6en if it 0as only for a min.te or t0o4 These
@.estions had been on my mind for se6eral days no03 and I had been pondering
0hat to do abo.t them:
"fter placing the tray 0ith the food containers on the 9itchen co.nter3 I as9ed
Mary >: 0hether she felt it might be possible for me to see Krishnam.rti for a
moment: "fter brief reflection3 she sent someone to chec9 0ith him:
!ome moments later I 0al9ed thro.gh the corridor that connected the ne0
part of +ine Cottage 0ith the older part 0here Krishnam.rti had his rooms:
ntering his bedroom3 I 0as s.rprised to find it in almost total dar9nessA 1.st a
dim light ill.minated the noct.rnal room: It too9 me half a min.te of breathless
silence to orientate myself and to ad1.st my eyes to the conto.rs of the room: It
0as an .n.s.al scene: Krishnam.rti 0as in his nightclothes3 prone on his
stomach on the hospital bed3 his legs 0rapped tightly in a blan9et: %r: +: 0as
standing to his left3 6igoro.sly massaging his bac9 and sho.lders:
I co.ldn*t thin9 of anything to say: 6en a simple greeting li9e H)o0 do yo.
do4* 0o.ld seem ambig.o.s and inappropriate: Neither of them said anything3
either3 as I approached thro.gh the shado0s of the room: There 0as a large l.mp
in my throat3 and I 0as o6ercome by an immense 0a6e of pain3 compassion3 and
comm.nion 0ith the great man 0ho had gi6en so m.chCto all of .s3 to
h.manity3 to myself: "t the same time3 I realiGed that any emotional display of
pity3 tears and grief 0o.ld be anathema to him: "ll I managed to bring o.t 0as a
g.rgled 2Oh3 Krishna1i:5
I stretched o.t my hand3 0hich he too9 in his hand3 as he raised himself
slightly from his prone position: "ll the 0hile %r: +: contin.ed 0ith his massage3
ac9no0ledging my presence 0ith a @.iet3 friendly smile: The to.ch of
Krishnam.rti*s hand 0as the softest and most gentle I had e6er felt: $i9e sil9 and
6el6et3 it 0as smooth and pliableCnot s0eaty3 moist or hot3 nor brittle3 dry3 or
cold:
)e loo9ed at me 0ith 0ide8open eyes3 2"h3 hello3 Michael:5
I percei6ed a most c.rio.s phenomenon3 0hich neither startled nor s.rprised
me3 b.t rather filled me 0ith a0e: I co.ld see light in Krishnam.rti: "ct.al light
0as shining from that organism3 no0 almost a cent.ry old and terminally
diseased: " s.btle light 6isibly shone thro.gh him3 and it 0as as if he 0ere
shining it on me as I stood there3 holding his hand: #hile %r: +: 0ent on 0ith his
massage3 Krishnam.rti and I silently held handsCfriends 0itho.t barriers: There
0as a sense of ne0ness and great freedom3 of an .nto.chable innocence that
comm.nicated itself:
-y the 0atch3 o.r 0ordless hand8holding didn*t last longer than a fe0
min.tes: -.t it 0asn*t 0ithin the parameters of ordinary time: It 0as in bet0een
time3 in the inter6al from one moment to the ne?t: motionally3 I felt completely
cho9ed .p: "nd 6ery @.ietly he said3 2I*m sorry yo. ha6e to coo9 for so many
people:5
,or a moment I 0as completely d.mbstr.c9: )e really meant it: 6en more
than before3 I 0as at a loss ho0 to respond: I m.mbled3 embarrassed and close to
tears3 2Oh3 please3 sir3 it*s really no problem at all:5
"s o.r hands let go of one another3 I co.ld still percei6e the s.btle light
emanating from him3 0hile %r: +: 0ent on 0ith his s9illf.l manip.lation to
relie6e the physical discomfort: I felt an enormo.s 0a6e of gratit.de rising
0ithin me: -efore t.rning to lea6e the room3 I said3 2Than9 yo.3 Krishna1i3 than9
yo.3 sirL5
)e responded by saying3 2&oodbye3 sir:5
J
The follo0ing day he felt .n.s.ally 0ell3 considering the ad6anced condition of
his illness: The attending physician from !anta +a.la3 %r: %e.tsch3 indicated the
possibility of a remission: Krishnam.rti e6en as9ed if he might tra6el and spea9
again: ,or one last time3 hope rose among .s3 the ardent 0ish for a miracle3 a
foolish e?pectation against all the odds: This gi6es an idea of the 9ind of
sentiment that pre6ailed d.ring Krishnam.rti*s last days on earth: The roller8
coaster ride contin.ed:
-y ,ebr.ary =3 most of the friends and associates3 to 0hom he 0anted to
comm.nicate final .rgent matters3 had arri6ed in O1ai: #e n.mbered thirty
people3 0ho 0ere p.t .p at "rya /ihara and at the homes of local tr.stees and
friends: In addition to teaching the C.rrent #orld "ffairs class at the Oa9 &ro6e
)igh !chool3 I 0as preparing both l.nch and dinner for all the g.ests e6ery day
of the 0ee9C0hich 9ept me b.sy: Maybe it 0as this high rate of acti6ity that
created a protecti6e b.ffer for me against the f.ll painf.l impact of 0hat 0as
happening 1.st a h.ndred yards a0ay on the other side of the orange gro6e: I felt
strangely n.mbed and @.ite remo6ed from the hectic deliberations of most of the
g.ests: 6ery so often3 0ord filtered thro.gh abo.t his c.rrent state of health3 and
from time to time I ca.ght sight of him in the li6ing room of +ine Cottage 0hen I
0as carrying food o6er: Oddly3 I 0as incapable of thin9ing abo.t him: "t a
deeper le6el I 0as a0are that my 9no0ledge and imagination co.ld not fathom
the depth of s.ffering that he 0as end.ring:
J
$ater that day3 ,ebr.ary =3 the by no0 c.stomary deterioration set in again: )e
had called together the leading fig.res from the ,o.ndations3 and in the co.rse of
tal9ing to them3 pain and discomfort had so o6er0helmed him3 that he bro9e
do0n se6eral times3 0eeping from pain and 0ea9ness: )e beseeched them to
lea6e O1ai and not to hang aro.nd 0aiting for his death: Most3 b.t not all3
honored his re@.est: Of co.rse3 it 0as a profo.nd dilemma: Not all of those
present lo6ed one another3 b.t all of .s3 do.btlessly3 0ere .nited in o.r all8too8
imperfect lo6e of K:
J
T0o days later3 one of the nglish tr.stees p.t him a @.estionA 2#hat reall"
happens to that e?traordinary foc.s of .nderstanding and energy that is K after
his death45 )is ans0er 0as immediate3 short and .nambig.o.s3 2It is gone:5
"lmost as an aftertho.ght3 poignant and poetical3 and not 0itho.t an enigmatic
to.ch3 he added3 2If yo. only 9ne0 0hat yo. had missedCthat 6ast emptiness:5
#hen I 0as told abo.t this comment3 I tho.ght it a most intrig.ing remar9:
-.t I ne6er felt entirely certain 0hether he meant that most of .s3 0hile ali6e3
had simply missed o.t on the bea.tif.l splendor of life3 its 6ast emptiness in that
senseK or 0hether he 0as specifically referring to the fact that 0e had missed the
opport.nity of percei6ing the emptiness 0hich he had been sho0ing .s thro.gh
his teachings and his presence: Or both:
!e6eral ho.rs later3 on his o0n initiati6e3 he made his last recorded statement:
In it3 he spo9e of the energy and intelligence that had passed thro.gh and .sed his
body: )e also made it clear that3 in his eyes3 nobody had any in9ling of the
immensity of 0hat had happened3 stressing repeatedly that no one aro.nd him3
nor in the 0orld at large3 had .nderstood 0hat he had been tal9ing abo.t: It 0as a
shoc9ing prono.ncement3 especially for those 0ho had been 6ery close to him:
#hen I 0as told of it3 it reminded me 6i6idly of a story he had reco.nted on a
n.mber of occasionsA only t0o of the -.ddha*s disciples had really .nderstood
the "0a9ened One3 and both had died 0ell before their master*s .ltimate
nir6ana:
J
It 0as the second 0ee9 of ,ebr.ary3 and a s.bstantial n.mber of g.ests had
started to depart in compliance 0ith his re@.est: -.t a fe0 of the tr.stees from
o6erseas simply co.ld not bring themsel6es to lea6e at this 1.nct.reK they stayed
on to obser6e his slo0 decline from a distance: Th.s3 the n.mber of g.ests 0ho
had l.nch and dinner at ":/: shran9 from thirty to bet0een fifteen and t0enty:
J
In the early afternoon of ,ebr.ary 1I3 I too9 a tray of food to +ine Cottage: If it
hadn*t been that Krishnam.rti 0as gra6ely ill3 the scene in the li6ing room 0o.ld
ha6e been one of leis.re: " fe0 people 0ere sitting @.ietly in armchairs and on
sofas3 0hile a blaGing fire roared in the fireplace3 altho.gh it 0asn*t especially
cold: The sofa had been placed length0ise directly in front of it: On my 0ay o.t I
noticed that Krishnam.rti3 0ho had been lying on the sofa3 0as being helped by
the male n.rse to sit .pright: It ga6e me a shoc9 to see him th.sA thro.gho.t his
life he had maintained the independence3 not only of his mind b.t also of his
body3 and no0 he 0as red.ced to dependence on another for the simple act of
sitting .p: It bro.ght tears to my eyes: It 0as pitif.l:
I felt impelled to mo6e closer to the frail fig.re 0rapped in blan9ets3 and I
9nelt do0n beside him: )e co.ld hardly mo6e his headK instead3 he t.rned his
large eyes to0ard me: They 0ere li9e mirrors3 0ith a meas.reless depth to them3
balanced as they 0ere bet0een life and death: Caref.lly entering his 6is.al field3
I said o.t lo.d3 abo6e the crac9ling of the fire3 2&ood afternoon3 Krishna1i:5 I
co.ldn*t thin9 of anything else to say:
In response3 he lifted his right hand a fe0 inches and dropped it again from
.tter e?ha.stion: There 0as no strength left in him: )e slo0ly opened his mo.th3
m.mbling something3 croa9ing li9e a person dying from thirst in the desert: )is
6oice so.nded 0ea93 and his 0ords 0ere dro0ned o.t by the crac9ling of the
fire: I to.ched his hand 6ery lightly 0ith the tips of my fingers3 hardly sensing
the p.lse beneath the sil9en s9in: !0allo0ing hard to o6ercome the .ps.rge of
pity and pain 0ithin me3 I m.rm.red3 2Than9 yo.3 sir: &oodbye:5
)e rolled his eyes in ac9no0ledgment and hea6ed a hea6y sigh: It 0as the
last time 0e met: )a6ing seen him in this pitif.l state3 I 0ished only that his
s.ffering 0o.ld end:
%r: +: 9ept .s informed abo.t the progress of his illness3 gi6ing reg.lar
briefings in the sitting room: -esides3 he composed daily ne0s b.lletins3 0hich
described his c.rrent condition: These notices 0ere posted ne?t to the telephone
in the 9itchen3 so that anyone ans0ering an in@.iry co.ld read o.t the printed
statement: There 0ere a great many calls from the media and from people aro.nd
the 0orld3 0ho 0anted to 9no0 his state of health:
J
-($$TIN [13 ,ebr.ary 1F3 19;BA HKrishna1i slept 0ell: )e had no pain or any
other physical discomfort: )e feels 0ea9: )e does not 0ish to tal9 m.ch: )is
temperat.re3 p.lse3 and respiration and blood press.re are 0ithin normal limits:
Intra6eno.s no.rishment ade@.ate: )e li9es to 0atch T/ and listen to the ne0s:*
-($$TIN [M3 same day OMedical -.lletin for people 0ho as9 abo.t
Krishna1i*s condition as of ,eb: 1F3 19;BPA HKrishna1i had a good night*s rest: )is
temperat.re 0ent .p t0ice for short periods: )e sat propped .p before the
fireplace en1oying the sight of the dancing flames: )e 0anted the 0orld ne0s
read o.t to him: !at for = or B ho.rs li9e this3 then rested: N.trition is maintained
thro.gh intra6eno.s means: )e ma9es .p his sleep 0ith short naps d.ring the
day: )e 0atched tele6ision in the e6ening: !igned %r: +:*
-($$TIN [F3 ,ebr.ary 1E3 19;B OMedical report on Krishna1i for friends 0ho
as9 abo.t him \not for the press] as of ,eb: 1E3 19;BPA
HKrishna1i did not ha6e a good morning: )e did not ha6e a good night3 either3
e6en tho.gh he had no pain: In the forenoon he had t0o small attac9s of pain that
@.ic9ly passed: )e preferred to stay in bed3 rather than go to the sitting room: )e
had a lo0 grade fe6er for a short 0hile: %r: %e.tsch 6isited him in the afternoon
and they had some interesting con6ersations abo.t mo6ies3 golf3 s9iing: Krishna1i
slept 0ell: %r: +:*
-($$TIN [E3 ,ebr.ary 1=3 19;BA HKrishna1i slept 0ell3 contin.o.sly for ;
ho.rs3 and 0o9e .p fresh and alert: )e felt 0ea9 and tired and 0as inclined to
doGe off: There 0as not m.ch of a fe6er b.t perspiration contin.ed: )e 0atched a
mo6ie in the afternoon and e?changed some 1o9es 0ith the people aro.nd: )e
0ent to sleep at ;AFI p:m:*
-($$TIN [=3 ,ebr.ary 173 19;BA HKrishnam.rti slept fairly 0ell .ntil F a:m:3
,eb: 1Bth: ,rom then on it 0as rather a ro.gh day: The 0hole day he had pain
0ith 6arying intensity at irreg.lar inter6als: -y e6ening he 0as completely
e?ha.sted and 0anted to sleep: )is .s.al sleeping dose 0as gi6en at 7AII p:m:
)e co.ld not sleep for an ho.r d.e to the pain3 b.t later3 as the pain started
diminishing3 he became .nconscio.s and passed a0ay at 1MA1I a:m: on Monday3
,eb: 173 19;B: %r: +arch.re:*
+ I $ O & (
Ten years ha6e gone by since Krishnam.rti died3 shortly after midnight on
,ebr.ary 173 19;B: %.ring these years3 the greatest change has been to li6e
0itho.t Krishnam.rti3 the friend of 0isdom3 the friend of life and tr.th: The
!chools and ,o.ndations3 of co.rse3 go onCe6en tho.gh @.ite a fe0 tr.stees3
directors and staff came and 0ent: Many other changes ha6e occ.rred3 0ithin
o.rsel6es and 0orld0ide: There 0ere constant challenges: Most important of all
0as the @.estionA #hat 0o.ld 0e3 together and indi6id.ally3 do 0ith this 1e0el
that 0e had been gi6en4
)e left behind an enormo.s legacyCif meas.red only in terms of @.antityA
o6er t0enty8fi6e h.ndred a.dio recordings3 o6er fi6e h.ndred 6ideotapes3 close
to one h.ndred tho.sand pages of printed material Oboo9s and transcriptsP3
tho.sands of pages of letters and hand0ritten man.scripts3 n.mero.s
photographs3 and a considerable amo.nt of film footageCin short3 a literal
mo.ntain of archi6e material3 m.ch of it .np.blished: Clearly3 the preser6ation
and p.blication of this material is important3 both from a historical and a
practical point of 6ie0: -.t Krishnam.rti himself emphasiGed that his teachings
are a li6ing thing3 and that boo9s and other records are not:
!o that*s 0hat 0e are left 0ithCthe li6ing thing3 o.r o0n li6es: )o0 ready
are 0e to ta9e on the challenge that Krishnam.rti p.t to all of .sA that of being
completely free4 Not only free from fear and conflictCaltho.gh that is ob6io.sly
of 6ital importanceCb.t free3 simply free3 .nconditionally free:
N % N O T !
1: The original 6ersion of this 1o9e 0as told by Krishnam.rti at the 6ery beginning of his
famo.s HTr.th is a pathless land* speech3 in 0hich he dissol6ed the HOrder of the !tar*3 at
Ommen3 The Netherlands3 ".g.st 19M9 Oreprinted in the !eptember 19M9 iss.e of the
HInternational !tar -.lletin*P:
" highly modified 6ersion of it can be fo.nd in the boo9 Krishnamurti to .imsel$
O$ondon T Ne0 7or93 19;;P3 entry of !at.rday3 "pril MF3 19;F Opp: ;B;7P:
" Hfinal* 6ersion of it 0as reco.nted by Krishnam.rti d.ring the 1st R.estion8and8
"ns0er Meeting at -roc90ood +ar93 ngland3 ".g.st M;3 19;E: On this occasion3 he
re6ealed that he Htho.ght o.t* this story:
M: "lan )oo9er3 2e#etarian Aourmet Cooker"3 !anta 'osaA 1I1 +rod.ctions3 197I:
F: !ind in the 1aters3 <oan McIntyre3 ed:3 Charles !cribner*s !ons3 Ne0 7or9 T !ierra
Cl.b -oo9s3 !an ,rancisco3 197E:
E: Thin#s o$ the !ind4Fialo#ues with J. Krishnamurti3 composed T arranged by -ri1
Khare3 +hilosophical $ibrary3 Ne0 7or93 19;=:
=: 'ichard ,eynman O191;19;;P3 (:!: theoretical physicist3 0or9ed at $os "lamos3 NM
on the atomic bomb pro1ect from 19EME=: ".thor of Durel" @ou7re Jokin#* !r )e"nman3
19;=: