School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: Its an agree!ent in which a !an loses his "achelor degree and a wo!an gains her
!asters.
#ivorce: $uture tense of Marriage.
%ears : %he hydraulic force "y which !asculine willpower is defeated "y fe!inine
waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring infor!ation fro! the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through &the !inds of either&
'onference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
'o!pro!ise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
#ictionary : A place where success comes before work.
'onference Roo! : A place where every"ody talks( no"ody listens and every"ody disagrees
later on.
$ather : A "anker provided "y nature.
'ri!inal: A guy no different fro! the rest....e)cept that he got caught.
*oss : So!eone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
#octor : A person who kills your ills "y pills and kills you "y "ills( later.
'lassic : *ooks( which people praise( "ut do not read.
S!ile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
+ffice : A place where you can rela) after your strenuous ho!e life.
,awn: %he only ti!e so!e !arried !en ever get to open their !outh.
-tc .: A sign to !ake others "elieve that you know !ore than you actually do.
'o!!ittee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can "e
done together.
-)perience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Ato! *o!" : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.