Module 5 Handouts

The following handouts are included in this module:

1. Typical Age Characteristics of Children and Youth
2. Strategies for Managing Challenging Behaioral in Children and
Youth
!. "#ercise $or%sheet: Strategies for Managing Challenging
Behaior
&. 'ositie (einforcement $or%s) *optional+
,. (ecommended (esources on Challenging Behaiors *optional+
-. Training .eed/ac% Surey
Typical Age Characteristics of Children and Youth
Below is a list of some general characteristics typical of children and youth in different age
groups. 0eep in mind that children are uni1ue and deelop at different paces.
Age: 3-5 years
Physical: May re1uire rest after high energy actiity2 deeloping coordination2 deeloping
gross motor s%ills *wal%ing2 /alancing2 s%ipping2 3umping2 throwing a /all+2 deeloping fine
motor s%ills *use a writing tool2 using toys that re1uire finger coordination such as /eads or
pu44les+.
Social/!otional: "ager to receie adult praise2 li%es to e#plore new actiities2 li%es to copy
older children2 may /e timid in new enironments or with new people2 learning to cooperate2
li%es responsi/ilities they can handle2 can play with others /ut is still self centered.
Cogniti"e: 5nderstands language /etter and learning to spea%2 /eginning to e#press needs in
words2 interested in the present2 eager to learn2 as%s 6why72 defines things /y their use2
deeloping a sense of humor2 needs adult guidance when starting a new tas%.
Age: #-$ years
Physical: high energy leels2 practicing lots of new actiities2 deeloping more difficult
gross and fine motor s%ills.
Social/!otional: Beginning to compare self to others2 /eginning to want self improement2
li%es responsi/ility2 li%es to /e with groups and wants to /elong2 deeloping peer group
*same gender+2 typically has a /est friend.
Cogniti"e: 8i%es to tal%2 deeloping a sense of time2 en3oys collecting2 learning pro/lem
soling2 learning to plan ahead2 /ecoming more self directed2 learning to appreciate
differences2 strict sense of right and wrong.
Age: %-&& years
Physical: May /e careless a/out clothes or hygiene2 en3oys mastering specific s%ills2
generally high actiity2 girls hae a growth spurt.
Social/!otional: Competitie with peers2 an#ious to grow up2 loyal to peer group2 asserts
independence2 may /e critical of peers and adults2 /eginning to /e self9conscious.
Cogniti"e: As%s 1uestions e#pecting thoughtful answers2 /eginning to understand others:
point of iew2 more comple# pro/lem soling2 li%es rule9/ased games2 /eginning to
understand more glo/al issues2 en3oys daydreaming2 more deeloped humor.
Age: &'-&( years
Physical: (apid growth may create aw%wardness2 /eginning pu/erty2 tires easily2 increased
appetite2 may participate in fads *e.g.2 clothing styles+.
Social/!otional: Sensitie to appearance2 deeloping a personal moral code *sense of right
and wrong+2 /eginning to deelop identity2 critical of parents2 strong desire to assert
independence.
Cogniti"e: A/stract thought deelopment2 thin%ing a/out future self2 needs freedom for
reflection2 can organi4e and plan ahead2 understands /igger social issues.
Age: &5-&$ years
Physical: Completing pu/erty2 tires easily2 increased appetite2 participates in fads *e.g.2
clothing or music+2 testing with ris%ier /ehaiors *e.g.2 alcohol or se#+.
Social/!otional: ;ery critical of adults and parents2 strong personal moral code *sense of
right and wrong+2 continued desire for independence2 desires status in social group2 wants to
/e recogni4ed as uni1ue2 deeloping romantic relationships2 still sensitie to criticism and
appearance.
Cogniti"e: .uture oriented2 self directed2 deeloped a/stract thought2 well deeloped
community awareness and actiism.
Strategies for Managing Challenging )eha"ior in Children and
Youth
<andling a child or youth:s challenging /ehaior can /e difficult. =o one can proide you with a
formula that will wor% in eery situation2 /ut here are some ideas that hae proen to wor% in
different situations. 0eep in mind:
>t is not your 3o/ to discipline the child.
You play an important role in encouraging and reinforcing positie /ehaiors. Model and
teach the child?youth how to communicate needs in a positie2 accepta/le way.
You are not alone. @o not hesitate to as% your superisor for help wheneer you are
unsure of the appropriate action.
*ood practices to support positi"e interactions
Treat children and youth as indi"iduals. Aet to %now them and don:t presume they are all
ali%e. .or e#ample2 don:t ma%e assumptions /ased on appearance. .ind out what is important to
the child or youth you are mentoring so you can /etter relate.
Clearly state e+pectations and li!its. This will help to preent misunderstandings later.
,isten fully to the child/youth and li!it your interruptions- Show through your /ody
language that you are listening *eye contact2 interested facial e#pression2 etc.+.
.alidate their feelings and e+perience. This does not mean approal or agreement2 /ut it shows
you sympathi4e and ta%e them seriously. .or e#ample2 6> understand what you are saying. You
feel angry /ecauseB7
!pathi/e. You can imagine how a child or youth feels and encourage them to tal% a/out it. Be
sensitie to their needs and /e aware of how they react to you.
Model appropriate 0eha"ior. Children and youth are pic%ing up cues from youC model the
/ehaiors you e#pect from them. .or e#ample2 apologi4e when you ma%e a mista%e or hurt
someone accidentally. Be respectful and as% for respect in return.
1einforce desira0le 0eha"ior. A smile2 gesture2 or a /rief word is often all that is needed to
encourage that /ehaior.
Allo2 the child/youth to 0e 3e+perts4 so!eti!es. .or e#ample2 as% for adice a/out
something you are genuinely unsure of *e.g. 6how does that gadget wor%D7+.
Allo2 the child/youth to 3sa"e face-4 .or e#ample2 when s?he ma%es a mista%e and feels /ad
a/out it already2 let it pass without a 6hope you learned your lesson7 speech.
Help children and youth find 2ays to !a5e a !eaningful contri0ution to their co!!unity.
.or e#ample2 encourage them to get inoled in a serice learning pro3ect with you or with their
peers *e.g. community gardening or mural painting2 par% restoration2 etc.+.
Help the! set personal goals 2here they can ta5e safe ris5s and achie"e success. This /uilds
self confidence and deelops new interests.
6eep your co!!it!ents and ne"er 0rea5 a pro!ise. This is especially important when
wor%ing with children and youth who do not hae relia/le adults in their lies.
7hen a Challenging )eha"ior 8ccurs
Strategies for all ages
5se non9er/al cues.
$hen: You can see a situation is going to arise. Before responding er/ally2 it may /e
possi/le to eliminate it /y ma%ing your disapproal clear. "ye contact2 complete with a
frown2 may send the message without em/arrassing the child?youth. Eften2 positioning
yourself near the child?youth will discourage the unwelcome /ehaior.
"#ample: The youth /egins to respond defensiely when you as% him?her to help clean up.
Simply raising your eye/rows without a er/al response may /e enough to gain compliance.
Aie choices within limits.
$hen: The child?youth is not doing whatFs e#pected and the situation has not escalated.
"#ample: GYou can clean up your snac% on your own or > can help you.G 6You can tell your
mom a/out the fight /y yourself2 Hohn or > accompany you. $hat would you li%e to doD7
(edirect and su/stitute an accepta/le choice for the unaccepta/le one.
$hen: The child?youth is doing something they shouldnFt *e.g.2 running around the room or
playing loud music+. Sometimes pro/lems result from dissatisfaction or /oredom. >f possi/le2
consider a change of actiity.+
"#ample: G'lease remem/er to wal% in the classroom. $ould you help me to set up chairsD7
6You are welcome to listen to music at our agreed upon leel. Are you ready to start the
gameD7
5se cool9off periods.
$hen: The child?youth is too silly or angry.
"#ample: 68et:s ta%e two minutes to listen to some music *or read2 run around2 etc.+.7 After
two minutes gie a clear reason why you had the /rea%. 'ositiely state the desired /ehaior
and hae the child?youth restate desired /ehaior.7
E/sere and clarify. Provide your observation in a calm and nonjudgmental way and ask for
clarification and/or suggestions.
$hen: The child?youth is haing trou/le cooperating or challenging /ehaior continues.
"#ample: 6You 3ust po%ed two other students on your way oer to my des%. >:m wondering if
you are feeling angry. $hat happened /efore classD $hat else could you do /esides po%e
peopleD7 "ncourage child?youth to consider ideas to resole the situation.
Allow for natural conse1uences - State consequences up-front in nonjudgmental way and then let
the child/youth experience them.
$hen: The child?youth is testing limits *not safety related+.
"#ample: G$e won:t hae time to play an e#tra game today /ecause you didn:t get cleaned
up on time2 /ut letFs try again ne#t wee%)G 6$ow2 since you /ro%e the door %no/2 you are
going to hae to learn how to fi# it.7 6By preparing your /ac%pac% so well2 you found your
assignments 1uic%ly.7
Tal% with teacher2 program staff or parent !if appropriate".
$hen: 8ower leels of responses hae not wor%ed or when the child?youth continue to defy
authority. @o not use this as a threat.
"#ample: 6>t seems that we are continuing to hae this pro/lem and > am out of ideas. 8et:s
go and tal% with your teacher to see if she has some suggestions that might help us.7
Strategies that !ay 2or5 0etter 2ith different age groups
5se a secret signal or a #code# to prompt child.
Age: !9I years old
$hen: The child has trou/le with self9control or needs special reassurance. 5se a win% of an
eye or thum/s up.
"#ample: The youth is pic%ing up the supplies after an actiity and you gie a thum/s up
sign.
Smoothing helps you to validate the child$s feelings while encouraging him/her to complete the
task.
Age: !9I years old2 or older youth if they are acting younger than their age
$hen: You hae only a small amount of time or child is uncooperatie.
"#ample: G> %now you are tired2 /ut letFs get through this last , minutes and we can rest)G
5se a special actiity.
Age: !9I
$hen: The child is cran%y or argumentatie.
"#ample: (ead a faorite /oo% together.
This for that. %ffer a positive consequence for the desirable behavior.
Age: -911 years
$hen: The child?youth is not doing whatFs e#pected.
"#ample: G>f you can help me out2 >Fll help you with your clean9up.G
.riendly challenge
Age: -911 years old.
$hen: The child?youth is not cooperating or losing interest in the tas%. 5se light9hearted
competition with cautionC some children?youth will perceie this as an opportunity to fail.
"#ample: G@o you thin% you can clean up *complete the paragraph2 finish the chapter+ in fie
minutesD (eadyD Ao)G
Aie >nformation to help child understand what s/he should be doing in a nonjudgmental way.
Age: J912 years old
$hen: The child?youth is not doing what is e#pected.
"#ample: G$hen you hold a large /owl2 you need to use two hands.G Er 6$hen we listen to
music inside it needs to /e at olume leel 1! or lower.7
State and @etach
Age: 1291K years old
$hen: The youth is resisting necessary rules. State the e#pectations2 stay out of any
arguments2 restate e#pectations2 and then disengage. <elp the youth understand the
conse1uences of their decisions.
"#ample: 6Chewing to/acco is not allowed here. Throw it out and then we can discuss what
the ne#t steps will /e. > will /e waiting oer here.7
Strategies for Children and Youth 2ith Additional 9eeds
Many of the common strategies for managing challenging /ehaior also wor% with children and
youth with special needs. <oweer2 some children and youth hae /ehaioral disorders that stem
from mental illnesses2 others from physical or learning challenges2 and these may re1uire
additional support. <ere are a few tips for assisting these children and youth:
:dentify triggers- As% the teacher or superisor what strategies wor% with this indiidual2
and what 6triggers7 challenging /ehaior. (emem/er to always focus on the person first2 and
then the special need2 so that the need does not define the person *e.g. rather than referring to
a student as 6autistic72 say a 6student with autism7C a child has special needs2 not a special
needs child+.
1e;uest 0ac5ground infor!ation. As% the child?youth what you need to %now and how
you can /e more helpful.
State e+pectations- Be ery clear and consistent with your e#pectations. .or e#ample2 telling
a child to 6pay attention7 does not always wor%C younger children will not %now what that
means. >nstead2 gie specifics: 6'lease show you are listening /y loo%ing at LL.7
6eep it si!ple- Enly use 29! directions at a time. Consider 6chun%ing7 or /rea%ing tas%s up
into smaller2 more managea/le pieces.
Try so!ething else- >f it seems that you hae to %eep repeating yourself2 /e patient2 or try
another approach. .or instance2 instead of ma%ing a er/al re1uest2 3ointly put together a
written 6to do6 list or ma%e stic% figures engaged in the actiities.
<se the child/youth=s strengths- =ote different learning approaches or the way the
child?youth connects. .or e#ample2 for the physical *%inesthetic+ learner hae something
aaila/le to touch *e.g.2 a stress /all2 pipe cleaners to twist+.
9ote positi"e 0eha"iors- Aie lots of positie reinforcement. .or e#ample2 6You
remem/ered that we push in our chairs /efore we leae the room. Than% you.7
)reathe. @on:t ta%e things too personally.
+ercise 7or5sheet: Strategies for Managing Challenging )eha"ior
CH:,>19 <9>1 A* &'
As you wor% with children2 you may find yourself in situations li%e the ones descri/ed /elow.
This e#ercise is designed to help you mentally prepare for those situations.
:nstructions: (ead the situations and suggested strategies *ideas+ and discuss with your group.
Hot down some ideas on how you might handle the /ehaior using the strategy suggested.
$hat specifically would you say to the child?youthD 'ractice saying it aloud. <ow does it
feelD
>f you hae another strategy you feel would wor% /etter2 note some ideas and /e ready to
discuss.
&- Sa!- You are haing lunch in the school cafeteria with Sam *- years old+2 /ut he has a hard
time sitting still. =ow he has gone under the ta/le to 6loo% for gum7.
Strategy ?:dea@ Suggestion: 1>:1CT- Su/stitute accepta/le choice for unaccepta/le
/ehaior.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to Sam.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with SamD

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

2. Kayla. You are helping 0ayla *1M years old+ with a school pro3ect2 due tomorrow. She is
haing a hard time staying 6on tas%7 and %eeps getting up and wal%ing away een though you
%eep trying to /ring her /ac%.
Strategy ?:dea@ Suggestion: A1:9>,Y CHA,,9*- Appeal to a sense of competition
with a dare.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to 0ayla.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with 0aylaD

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

3- >e!arco- @emarco *K years old+ doesn:t want to get off the computer when his time is up.
<e is totally inoled in a game he is playing2 /ut other %ids are waiting to use the computer.
Strategy ?:dea@ Suggestion: TH:S A81 THAT- Effer a positie conse1uence for the desira/le
/ehaior.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to @emarco.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with @emarcoD

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

4. Madison. You are supposed to help Madison *I years old+ practice her reading for 2M
minutes today. She finds all %inds of reasons to stall until the 2M minutes are nearly up.
Strategy ?:dea@ Suggestion: *:. CH8:CS- Suggest some options and let the child decide.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to Madison.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with MadisonD

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

5- Ba5- Na% *& years old+ has a hard time with transitions. <e gets inoled in an actiity and
gets ery upset when he is told it is time to stop.
Strategy ?:dea@ Suggestion: TH:S A81 THAT- Effer a positie conse1uence for the desira/le
/ehaior.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to Na%.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with Na%D

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

+ercise 7or5sheet: Strategies for Managing Challenging )eha"ior
Y8<TH A* &' A9> <P
As you wor% with youth2 you may find yourself in situations li%e the ones descri/ed /elow. This
e#ercise is designed to help you mentally prepare for those situations.
:nstructions: (ead the situations and suggested strategies *ideas+ and discuss with your group.
Hot down some ideas on how you might handle the /ehaior using the strategy suggested.
$hat specifically would you say to the child?youthD 'ractice saying it aloud. <ow does it
feelD
>f you hae another strategy you feel would wor% /etter2 note some ideas and /e ready to
discuss.
&- )randon- Brandon *12 years old+ is a youth you mentor and you meet twice wee%. You are
trying to deelop a relationship with him /ut he is constantly 6te#ting7 and chec%ing his phone
during your time together.
Strategy ?:dea@ Suggestion: *:. CH8:CS. Suggest some options and let the youth decide.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to Brandon.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with BrandonD

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

2. Maya. Maya *1- years old+ is a youth you mentor and she is supposed to meet with you for
at least one hour a wee%. She often shows up late2 cutting into your time together2 and sometimes
she doesn:t show up at all.
Strategy Suggestion: STAT A9> >TACH- State your e#pectations2 stay out of any
arguments2 restate e#pectations2 and then disengage.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to Maya.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with MayaD

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

3- ,aTonya- 8aTonya *1& years old+ is usually in a good mood when you meet /ut today she
comes in angry. $hen you as% what is wrong2 she starts swearing at you.
Strategy Suggestion: 8)S1. A9> C,A1:AY. 'roide an o/seration in a non3udgmental
way and as% for clarification or suggestions.
a. @escri/e how you might handle this situation using the suggested strategy. State specifically
what you will say to 8aTonya.


/. >s there another strategy you might try with 8aTonyaD

c. >f yes2 what specifically will you sayD

Positi"e 1einforce!ent 7or5sC
7e 0elie"e e"ery child 2ants to: Children co!!unicate for different
reasons:
.eel successful
Be included
Be accepted
Be loed
.eel important
Contri/ute in a meaningful way
=eed for peer attention
=eed for adult attention
'eer aoidance
Adult aoidance
Academic aoidance
Sensory fulfillment
Catch The!C (emem/er to catch students when they are displaying appropriate2
positie /ehaiors) "eryone li%es to /e ac%nowledged for doing a good 3o/)
,:TT, TH:9*S THAT CA9 H,P :9C1AS P8S:T:. )HA.:81:
Areet each student
Call each student /y name
5se eye contact
.ocus on successes
<se 5 positi"es to each negati"eC
Aie clear e#pectations
Model what the e#pectations loo%s li%e
SM>8")
T8 A.8:> A C89A,:CT CYC,D <S:
!pathy 9 5nderstand feelings and actions
*enuineness 9 Be consistent2 dependa/le2 and real
Positi"e 1egard 9 Coneying caring and interest
Concreteness 9 5sing specific clear language
<nconditional Acceptance 9 Approing the person2 not the /ehaior
1eco!!ended 1esources on Challenging )eha"iors
Techni;ues and Strategies for Managing Challenging )eha"iors
>f you sere in a classroom2 these are some techni1ues you may see the teacher use to influence
/ehaior2 from The ;irginia @epartment of "ducationFs Training and Technical Assistance
Center at Eld @ominion 5niersity: http:??www.ttac.odu.edu?Articles?influenceLtech.html
>f you sere young children2 you may find this article helpful. 6$hat $e Say to Children: The
.irst Step to Managing Challenging Behaiors7 was written /y Tom 5dell2 'am @eardorff and
Aary Alasenapp for The Teaching (esearch >nstitute and The Eregon >nclusion Center:s "arly
Childhood =ewsletter *winter 1IIK+: http:??www.tr.wou.edu?train?winterIK.htm
The Circle of 'arents program is aimed at parents /ut they do hae short tip sheets in "nglish
and Spanish for different /ehaior challenges that olunteers may find enlightening. See 6The
'ower of Choice7 and 6Say $hat You Mean2 Mean $hat You Say7:
http:??www.circleofparents.org?parentLresources?inde#.shtml
*eneral Child/Youth >e"elop!ent
The Search :nstitute=s (E >e"elop!ental Assets descri/e 1ualities and positie e#periences for
children and youth2 /y age group2 including suggested actiities that adults can do to help /uild
them: http:??www.search9institute.org?deelopmental9assets.
Conflict 1esolution
Boo%s:
(aising a Thin%ing Child: <elp your Young Child to (esole "eryday Conflicts and
Aet Along with Ethers. Myrna B. Shure with Theresa .oy @iAeronimo. =ew Yor% : <.
<olt2 1II&.
(aising a thin%ing preteen: the G> can pro/lem soleG program for K9 to 129 year9olds .
Myrna B. Shure with (o/erta >sraeloff. =ew Yor% : <enry <olt2 2MMM.
Health :ssuesD Self stee! and )ody :!age
0ids<ealth proides information and adice on a wide range of physical2 emotional2 and
/ehaioral issues that affect children and teens2 including nutrition and fitness2 self9destructie or
ris%y /ehaior2 .an#iety2 stress2 and cy/er/ullying. 0ids<ealth is part of The =emours
.oundationFs Center for ChildrenFs <ealth Media: http:??%idshealth.org?
The 'alo Alto Medical .oundation for <ealth Care2 (esearch and "ducation is a not9for9profit
health care organi4ation /ased in =orthern California. Their we/site proides health education
aimed at parents and teens on a ariety of topicsC this page has information on self esteem and
/ody image in adolescents2 and includes additional recommended we/sites:
http:??www.pamf.org?parents?general?selfesteem.html
Mental Health
The =ational >nstitute of Mental <ealth *=>M<+2 part of the =ational >nstitutes of <ealth *=><+2
proides information and resources on child and adolescent mental health for the general pu/lic
and health professionals: http:??www.nimh.nih.go?health?topics?child9and9adolescent9mental9
health?inde#.shtml
The mission of the Su/stance A/use and Mental <ealth Serices Administration *SAM<SA+
mission is to reduce the impact of su/stance a/use and mental illness on communities:
www.samhsa.go. SAM<SA proides resources to educate and raise awareness a/out children:s
mental health: http:??www.samhsa.go?children?2 including resources on challenging /ehaior in
early childhood: http:??www.samhsa.go?children?earlychildhoodLchallenging/ehaior.asp#.
The =ational Alliance on Mental >llness *=AM>+ is a mental health adocacy organi4ation that
proides easy9to9understand information a/out mental illnesses2 treatments2 programs2 and
support groups: www.nami.org.
)ullying
StopBullying.go proides information from arious goernment agencies on how children and
youth2 parents2 educators2 and others in the community can preent or stop /ullying. Age9
appropriate information is presented for these different groups. The we/site is managed /y the
@epartment of <ealth and <uman Serices in cooperation with the @epartment of "ducation and
@epartment of Hustice: www.Bullyinginfo.org.
Progra!s and 1esources
.indYouth>nfo.go was created /y the >nteragency $or%ing Aroup on Youth 'rograms
*>$AY'+2 which is composed of representaties from 12 .ederal agencies that support programs
and serices focusing on youth. The we/site proides information2 strategies2 tools2 and
resources: www.findyouthinfo.org
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