1

Chapter One: The Beginning

Why am I even doing this? I asked myself, struggling to stay on
the balance beam, Everyone here hates me and even the adults
dont like me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down but spit it
out. The air tasted like chalk and sweat. Not surprising for
gymnastics center.
Chop, chop! Coach screamed into my ear. His voice
contained no energy, only volume.
I stuck my tongue out and proceeded to walk to the end of
the beam. Then I wobbled and fell.
Klunk! I landed with a thud on the thick, hard mat. My ankle
rolled and I felt it pop. Ow! I shrieked, as the pain shot through
my ankle.
Oh, Jodi, youre fine! Coach teased and I could tell he didnt
even care.
NO, Im not! I shrieked, my voice filled with panic. I needed
to tell him I wasnt really okay, that maybe it hurt more then I said.
YES, you are! Coachs voice was mixed with discipline and
maybe a little bit of fear. Maybe he did care about me. But then
again, he probably just didnt want to be the one responsible for me
getting hurt.

2
Okay, maybe I am, I stood up to walk to show I was strong
but it back-fired and I fell right down. Then slowly, I picked myself
up and hobbled over to get an ice pack. I laid it on my ankle which
was now very red and looking a little black and blue. I sat down
putting all my weight on my butt. I tried not to cry but the pain was
getting worse and worse. I nearly yelped out to call for help when I
realized Id already had some. I took a deep breath and sighed.
Serves her right, Sani muttered under her breath.
Sani is my archenemy. She is the only person I is actually
afraid of. She is ugly and has hair everywhere. Under her chin, on
her face and growing out of her nose! She also has a unibrow and
buck teeth. The thing that made her scary was her breath. It stunk
worse than a skunk and rumor had it that she had actually
poisoned a teacher with her breath. Her reason being, she gave too
much homework. Some teachers were even afraid of her. Ms.
Letterhoiuse, shes a new teacher, heard this rumor and literally
started to shake. Then she fainted and
I turned around to see Sani breathing on my neck and
glaring at me. I didnt bother glaring at back. I knew that would only
make her clench her fists at me and threaten to kill me. I really
wasnt in the mood for that. So instead, I just turned away and tried
to block out her words.
Then, Coach ordered me to get a strength card.
For those who dont know what that is, its a slip of paper that
has different types of conditioning moves. Basically, you either do
them when youre in trouble or youre hurt. Since I was both hurt
and in trouble, you get the reason I did one.

3
So I started my exercises and everyone got back to work.
Nicole went back onto the beam, Sani onto the vault and the gym
seemed lively. Practice ended and everyone went home.
It was a normal day, I got in trouble, I did a strength card
and Coach got mad at me. Its all good.
The next day was pretty normal. It was what would come after,
which would change my life.
Nicole and I ran into practice, carrying our flimsy, plastic water
bottles. Quickly, we shoved our stuff in our lockers and sprinted to
the floor. Coach had this policy that if we were late wed have to
do 300 push-ups or go home.
Maybe the going home part sounds better but trust me, it isnt.
If we decide to go home then Coach will make everyone sit around
you while you make the call. Then after you finish talking, Coach
picks up the phone and he states exactly why youre going home.
Most moms know better than to argue but a few have tried and
they havent succeeded. In fact, they usually end up making Coach
mad and that makes him suspend the kid for an extra day.
The push-ups are bad because, well theyre push-ups. 300
push-ups, thats enough to make push-ups the worst conditioning
skill you know. By the time youre done, youll feel like they are 3
elephants sitting on your stomach and you wont be able to move
your neck.
So, we went to floor and started stretching. First, pancake,
right split, middle and then left split. Doesnt sound that bad, right?
Wrong. We have to do 5 sets of them with Coach pushing us down

4
the whole time. Then afterward, we have bridges which make your
stomach cramp and all your muscles feel like 30 pound weights.
After all our stretching was done, Coach told us to sit down.
We all sat down and the chattering stopped. All of us knew what
was coming. A lecture.
Coach started, We are getting ready for states and all of
you have to focus and stop talking. We have to win at states and
we have to be ready! I see it in each of you, you are not focused,
youre not trying your very best. You can all do better and you
know it! You need to try or else you will be kicked off this team!!!!
Harsh!! I knew that was mostly aimed at me. So instead of
listening, I shrugged it off and decided to loosen things up with a
joke. A harmless joke, mind you. No one could get hurt by it, but it
was still funny.
Soon practice was over and everyone gathered their belongings
in the locker room. I stayed behind and waited in the bathroom
until everyone had cleared out.
I grabbed wads of toilet paper and began shoving it in the
toilet. More and more and more. The toilet was overflowing with
white. That was all you could see. Someone was going to have a
nice surprise in the morning.
As I shut off the light, I noticed a dark black shadow in the
shape of a girl. There was also one standing next to it. I cautiously
neared the door. When I pulled it open, there was no one there.
I hurried out of the spooky gym and closed the door shut. In
panic, I sprinted down the hallway to make sure no one was

5
following me. Was someone following me? I didnt think so, but
really, I didnt know.
I arrived outside to see my moms dark blue BMW pull up. I
hopped inside and pulled the door shut. My mom turned around.
AHHH! I shrieked. This was not my mom. This woman was
big, fat and ugly. She had a huge zit on her nose and her skin was
freakishly pale. My mom on the other hand was skinny, pretty and
had a dark-beauty mark. She had also been asked to be on many
different magazines but she declined each offer because she had
to take care of her family.
Why, hello there dear! the woman spoke with a thick,
southern accent. Her lips curled, revealing a nasty cold sore. Im
Mrs. Beachman, Sanis mother.
Great! I thought, Just who I want to be stuck with.
Sorry but I have to go now. Thank you! I smiled sweetly at
her.
Such a polite girl, I heard her say.
If only you knew, I muttered, sprinting away from the car.
Where was my mother? She better be here soon. I didnt want
Coach to have to drive me home. That would just be awkward.
Finally, she pulled up in her blue BMW. I was cold and my
fingers looked blue.
How was practice? Mom asked, smiling like she didnt expect
me to be mad.

6
Bad, I mumbled, tugging on my red hair and making sure she
couldnt hear me. Why, it was good, I said louder, in such a
convincing voice that almost made me laugh.
We drove the rest of the ride home in silence.
The next day, while Nicole and I were walking to school, I told
her that her shirt was sticking out. For some reason she got really
mad and started yelling things at me.
You always lie and you never get caught! You always get
everything you want and you dont even care about it! Why do you
always have to take everything for granted? Nicole screamed.
Nicole, are you jealous? I said teasing, trying to stop the
fighting.
You know what, I am! I am and Im sick of you. All you ever think
of is you, you and you! Nicole shrieked.
My face started to heat up and I could feel my face flush,
Nicole, youre worse than me and you know it! All you ever talk
about is your new puppy and your new trampoline. You always brag
in everyones faces and youre the one who lies and pulls pranks!
What about your joke? Ha! Clogging the toilets? Remember
that? Nicole glanced at me slyly.
Now I know that she was the one who had been there. My
face turned a deep red and I managed to sputter out, What! I
didnt do that!
Sure, and just wait until I tell Coach! Nicole laughed and
spun on her heel.

7
You wouldnt! I exclaimed, giving her the evil eye.
Oh, really, she giggled, as if this were all a playful game.
I dreaded to know what would happen.


8
I left school that day, feeling discouraged and frightened about
what would come at the gym. Nicole wasnt a tattletale and I was
pretty confident that she wouldnt actually tell. But then again, one
wrong move could make her slip up and give it away.
I entered the gym carefully, trying to lie undetected. It didnt
really work though.
JODI!! I want to see you in my office, now! Coachs words
had a sharp edge.
I flounced over, pretending I was unaware of trouble. Yes? I
asked, my voice sweeter than honey.
Youre in some serious trouble, Jodi, Coach shook his head,
Pranks are not funny, they are foolish.
What prank? I asked dumbly.
You know exactly what Im talking about. Now, Im going to let
you off easy. All you have to do is some counseling. I have a friend
who is a guidance counselor and can definitely help you, Coach
smiled an evil smile, wiping sweat off his face.
I knew that if it hadnt been me they would have gotten away
with only a strict warning. But all adults disliked me and thought I
was special. The only ones who didnt think that were my parents.
Those other ones, well they thought I had special needs or
problems. I dont but whatever they thought I had required discipline.
If I argued then Id just get a bigger punishment so I knew that
asking to spare me would be worthless. The case was closed. Nicole
had told and she really meant what she said. Stupid Nicole, you
tattletale, I muttered, angrily, Youre so annoying.

9
I retreated back to the floor and promised myself that I
couldnt be mad. It was just as much her fault as yours, I
mumbled, comforting myself. Youre not special even though the
teachers may think you are.
When Nicole walked in, her head down, I forgot about me
being special and instead tried to figure out what her expression
looked like. When I squinted at her I could tell she felt bad about
something. What it was, I didnt know, but it felt good knowing that
we were both let down. I could only wonder what it meant.






10
NICOLE

Chapter Two: Life Is No Fun
I walked across the beam and leaned over. In plain sight was
Jodi, sprawled on the gym floor, holding her ankle. She struggled to
get up and finally hobbled over. I felt bad but I hadnt seen what
happened.
I got back to my own business and my mind started
wondering. I was thinking about my parents and my own wrecked
life. The divorce had ruined everything and so had that rotten child.
No one knew about it but I was still worried. What if I slipped up
and told? My mind raced but I kept a steady smile on my face and
tried to keep focus. I could hear Coach yelling at Jodi and her
talking back.
I heard Coach again and knew that a strength card would
come soon. Or Jodi would be sent home. But that wasnt likely.
Coach had only ever sent 1 person home and that was because
she had talked badly about someone at the gym. Even though
Coach didnt really like Jodi, he wouldnt send her home.
All adults didnt seem to like Jodi. Our teacher didnt like her
but she put up with her. Other adults though, totally ignored her or
they just hated her. They always assumed the worst about her.
Though Jodi could be a goof-ball sometimes, I knew she had
another side that was the total opposite.


11
Sometimes I felt bad for Jodi, anything broken she got blamed.
Anything spilled she got blamed. It was so horrible to watch the
teacher put her in the detention classes or the special classes. I
knew that Jodi never talked about it with anyone. Not her mom or
dad. She acted like she didnt care but she did, I knew she did.
I wanted to say something about it, to show her I cared but
whenever I tried Id say the opposite. It was like I was afraid to. I
didnt know why because I thought that talking to her would make
her feel better. Maybe it would help her mixed and in-closed
feelings. I didnt know what talking to her about it would do, but
whatever it did, it would be good.
I still didnt know why I couldnt say anything, why I couldnt
bring anything up but someday, I knew Id have to.
Coach turned to observe the rest of us and we all got back to
work. I didnt want to be on his bad side because he can get very
cranky.
Practice ended quickly and I pulled my fleece and sweatpants
on, so I didnt freeze.
In New York, the summers were nice but as soon as winter hit,
it was down below 32 everyday. I always had to make sure my
whole body was covered. Even the slightest chill would make me
freeze. I walked outside and a cold blast of wind hit my face. My
hands felt chilly even though I had worn my gloves.
I looked down at my hands to see my cute little panda gloves.
I loved my gloves. I had gotten them in Alaska when we took a
cruise there. I had accidentally forgotten my gloves, (I just didnt
bring them because I wanted new ones.) So, when we got on the

12
ship I looked into my suitcase and my gloves werent there,
(surprise, surprise.)I told my mom and she finally agreed to let me
get new ones. I looked in the gift shop and there they were! My
pink, panda, sparkly gloves! I bought them and I wore them the
whole, entire trip! I was basically obsessed with them.
When I looked down, my gloves werent there. All you could
see were two red hands with some short, chewed nails and a bit of
pink nail polish. I really need to get my nails done soon. Maybe a
purdy pink or a bright purple! There was a new nail salon in town
that I figured Id give a shot.
I thought I had probably left my gloves in the gym so I went
back into the gym and quietly entered, trying not to disturb the
peace. It was never this quiet in the gym. Usually, there was talking
or at least whispering. The silence was beautiful and felt like music
to my ears even though there was no song. Then, I heard a quiet
rustling noise. An animal? I neared closer to the bathroom and
leaned against it. I spotted a shadow. It looked like a girl. The thing
neared closer and I saw a bit of the red hair. Was it one of my
teammates?
I leaned in a little closer to try and get a better look. Jodi!
She was stuffing the toilets with toilet paper and I could tell she
was laughing. It was just another one of her silly pranks. I wouldnt
tell but I knew that something had to be done about it.
I was pretty sure Jodi had spotted me so I fled for my life
and sprinted for the door. Soon as I was outside the gym I started
walking slower. I opened the door and my hands started to turn
red. I forgot my gloves again! I thought angrily. But I didnt really

13
care. I got in my car and thought about my life on the car ride
home.
The next day I woke up feeling cranky and tired. Before I even
got out of bed I knew that it was going to be a bad day. Some
days I just had that kind of feeling that it wasnt going to be a god
day. Id wake up lazily and snap at my mom and brother. Id groan
at everything my mom told me to do and Id fall asleep in my
cereal. It was not fun.
I got dressed and went downstairs. My mom was on the phone
and she was almost screaming into it. She was probably on the
phone with her lawyer talking to him about the divorce and the
baby. I couldnt even bare to listen.
By the way, my parents have been divorced for 1 year now.
My fathers already married and his wife just had a baby. The baby
is the cause of our problems. My mother is trying to get my dad
sued for taking care of the baby instead of us.
The story goes like this, my mom was supposed to get a great
new job in California. Shed move out there and do her work there
as an editor. This has been her dream all her life. She always told
about it and whenever she told me it, I envisioned mansions and
castles. It was her fairytale, the chance to find her true love. She
once told me that if this was the only thing she had accomplished
in life she would still be happy. When she told me this, I thought
about it for weeks. She said if this was her only accomplishment
she would be happy. This confused me. Wasnt I one of her
accomplishments? I know my mom loves me but I dont think that
she wants to be a mom. Shed rather be a famous editor who didnt
have to deal with children of her own. I knew this because she

14
wasnt going to take us. She was going to leave us home while she
went out to California to be an editor. Instead, Dad was supposed
to take care of us. But then his wife had the baby and so he has
to take care of the baby. I just wish that he didnt get remarried
because then he wouldnt have the baby to take care of and he
might not get sued. But lifes not fair. Right now Mom has to take
care of us and though I know she loves us I know she wants to go
away to her dream job.
I took out a bowl and poured some Rice Krispies into it. No
milk for me, I never put milk in my cereal. I was dairy-free and I
didnt like the almond milk my mom always bought. I ate it quickly
and grabbed my old Hello Kitty backpack. I wanted a new one but I
was afraid to ask about it since my mom might think I was being a
nuisance. Lately I had been careful about what I said and did
around Mom because her temper was flaring and I didn't want it to
be directed at me.
I headed out the door and waited on the stoop for Jodi. My
legs felt jittery and were half asleep. I felt tired but at the same
time I felt mad. Mad at the world and everything bad. Mad about
this or that. I was bustling with fury by the time Jodi showed up. I
knew that I had to keep my temper cool or else I might blow my
top.
When she showed up she told me my shirt wasnt tucked in. I
dont know why I got so mad but I did. I blew my top and lots of
lava exploded out. It didnt ooze, it exploded. It went past the hills
and the trees and no amount of water could stop it. Anything in its
past was a goner. My whole day was like that. I yelled at my
science partner for dropping our test booklet. I had a tantrum when

15
my teacher told me my answer was wrong. When I fell down in gym
I started to cry. My whole day was awful. I dont remember exactly
what I did or said to Jodi but I knew that Id have to apologize and
beg for forgiveness.
When I got home I could tell Mom was in a bad mood. She
had that grumpy look on her face. I was going to have to steer
clear of her for today if I didnt want her to get mad.
I opened up my backpack and pulled out my binder and
homework pad. Hmm, I scrolled down the list of assignments. All I
had was spelling, math, reading and writing, pretty much what I had
every day.
I opened my binder and looked through my assignments.
Math, check, reading, check, writing, check and wheres my spelling?
I guess Ill have to call someone. Hmm, whos in my group? Sani is,
dont want to call her. Lauren is, she probably has soccer today.
Jason is, nope, I dont want to call a boy.
I couldnt think of anyone else so I picked up the phone and
called Sani.
Hi, someone answered.
Hello, I replied, This is Nicole, Sanis friend from school. May
I please speak to Sani?
Of course! the voice instantly brightened.
The speaker crackled a little bit and then somebody spoke,
What do you want?

16
Hello Sani, I was wondering if you could give me the spelling
assignment.
Whats in it for me? Sanis voice was deep and sounded like
a young man. I could picture her Adams apple.
Well, I dont know. I could bring you something for snack, I
said, shakily.
Any secrets to share? Maybe, about Jodi? Sanis tone
changed. She sounded kind of interested.
I have one, I answered, thinking about Jodis prank. Last
night, Jodi snuck into the girls locker room at the gym and stuffed
toilet paper in the toilets. Dont tell anyone, okay?
Fine, she answered and sighed heavily as if I was being a
nuisance. Ill bring over the paper in 15 minutes.
I hung up and put the phone on the hook. Why had I told
Sani? Sani had nothing to do with the information, anyways so I
didnt think it really mattered. What harm could it do?
A lot, and I was about to find out how much damage
this wrecking ball could do.







17
I woke up the next day, and I was already almost late for
school. I pulled on a pair of my pink jeans and put on a big
fleece. The house was freezing, I was already cold and I hadnt
even been outside.
I ran downstairs, shoved a granola bar into my pocket and
grabbed my Hello Kitty backpack. I grabbed my pink panda gloves
and raced down the snowy street to get to school.
When I arrived the late bell had already rung and I knew
that if I had one more late slip, I would get detention. I darted
into the building and ran into Mr. Lakes room. Luckily, he wasnt
even there yet.
I took my seat and pushed my stuff into the closet. My
books were all wrinkled and I couldnt find my homework. I was a
wreck, a mess but at least I was there.
My hair was puffy and tangled in big knots. My clothes had
stains and were full of creases. My pink, plastic earrings had
faded to a reddish pink color and my eyelids were only slightly
open. I nearly was asleep by the time Mr. Lake entered the room.
Hi, and good morning, class! Mr. Lakes booming voice
jerked me awake. I picked up my head and drowsily looked at
him.
The whole day I was tired and I even fell asleep during
math. When I got home I nearly fell asleep just sitting down.
Nicole! Get your head off the counter and leave the kitchen! Im
on the phone and I will not be interrupted while Im on the
phone! my mom screamed.
I fled upstairs and lay down on my own bed, running my
lists of to-dos through my head. This list kept getting bigger and

18
bigger. I imagined it getting so big that every day and every
second, Id be thinking about some part of it. It would be so
much nicer if I could just have a normal life like everyone else.
All Id have to do was my homework and then I would be free to
do what I pleased. But since I was stuck in this house with Ms.
Rules, (my mother) I couldnt do anything I pleased without talking
to my mother about it. Since she was on the phone and not very
able to talk to me, I decided that I would just stay put for the
time.
I put together an actual list of what I had to do. The first
thing was to apologize to Jodi. Maybe shed forgive me. Once I
had finished the list I went downstairs in a happier mood. My list
was on its way and I knew that there were only a few more steps
to finishing it.
My mood was ruined by my mother. She had just gotten off
the phone and had begun yelling, screaming and shrieking. She
was throwing stuff, paper plates and rubber toys. I knew that she
was mad about everything but half of the things she probably was
mad about were also probably her fault. I reached into the
refrigerator to grab my water bottle, only to have my hand
shooed away by my mother. Out of the blue, I felt depressed and
saddened because of the little fact that I really couldnt do
anything without asking my mother.
My mind suddenly went to work, wondering why my mother
hated my father so much that she could sue him for the tiniest
thing that even I wasnt remotely mad about. I was probably more
mad at my mother than my father. I started screaming too (I

19
guess I was in the screaming mood as well) and she started
screaming at me and we just got a bit out of hand. She told me
to go to my room and then I told her I had gymnastics and then
she said some words I cant repeat and blah blah blah. So in the
end she took me and when I walked into the gym I was in the
same state as I had been in the morning.
I looked at Jodi and I could tell she was still mad at me for
our little argument. I guess I had to apologize at her house.