Desire Book Final

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1
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'
Table Of Contents
Section 1 (motions are (verything _______________________11
Section 2 %he (motional Attraction )cale *__________________2
Section ! %he +nvestment Mechanism_____________________ !"
Section # %he ,alue Concept____________________________$
Section " %he -ormulas Revealed .(motional
%une /p Methods____________________________ "$
Section $ Ho$ %o Hit %he )$eet )pot 0! Desire______________ %!
Section % Ho$ %o Read His Mind________________________ %&
Section & Men Have A )mall (motion %ank__________________&%
Section ' Ho$ Communication 1orks -or A Man______________'&
Section 1(# Ho$ %o Make Him Do Anything__________________1('
Section 11# Capture His Heart 2y Revealing
Your +mper!ections__________________________11&
Section 12 1hat Do + 3et +! + 3ive You A Ring______________1!"
4
Section 1! 1hat %o Do 1hen He 5eaves
You -or )omeone (lse*____________________ 1"$
Closing Tho)ghts___________________________________1%2
6
*ntrod)ction:
7aime stood# pacing around her room# anxiously. 2y no$# she !elt like
some"ody had gra""ed a hold o! her a"domen and t$isted her guts
around# she !elt sick# a!raid# and $eak. )he had "een crying so hard !or
several hours no$# that her eye lids $ere s$ollen# and sore.
+t seemed like none o! this mattered to (ric $ho $as on the other end o!
the phone# as distant as ever# as cold as outer space itsel!.
All 7amie $anted $as !or (ric to like and $ant her# the same $ay that she
had al$ays loved him# and $anted him. +t $as truth!ully starting to !eel
like that $as not going to happen# and as the !ear took a hold o! 7amie#
she started to ask (ric some dread!ully pressing 8uestions.
)he $anted to kno$ !or real# i! this $as all &ust a game# and i! she had
"een emotionally played $ith.
Had he really &ust not truly $anted her at all9 this entire time:
;Do you see yoursel! "eing $ith me9 creating a li!e $ith me9getting
married:< she hesitantly asked9as a nervous smile appeared across her
!ace# as she hoped he=d say yes.
He said nothing. /tter silence cut through the tiny "it o! hope she had
maintained so !ar# and tears "egan to "urn their $ay do$n her cheeks
again.
)he heard a slight sigh come !rom his end. )he could tell he $as getting
annoyed# "ut she continued> ;+ $ant to "e $ith you. You kno$ that + $ant
to spend my li!e $ith you. %ell me $hat it is that +=m doing $rong: ?lease
tell me# talk to me9:< 7amie pleaded# no$9 "iting her nails in
@
anxiousness.
He hadn=t really said much in the t$o hours that she had "een talking to
him# trying to persuade him to kno$ that deep do$n inside# she $anted
more !rom him and that# he didn=t have to run a$ay# or push her aside.
He had given her a couple o! excuses along the $ay > a"out ho$ he
$asn=t ready !or intense commitment yet# ho$ he had issues that he still
needed to resolve "e!ore he even considers commitment.
2ut none o! them com!orted# nor satis!ied 7amie. )he had dou"ted him !or
a $hile no$# and $asn=t sure $hether or not he $as going to stay.
)omething inside her $as screaming that she $as simply lying to hersel!
all along# that he didn=t %R/5Y $ant to "e $ith her.
2ut# she so desperately needed him to stay. )he needed him to not
a"andon her. )he needed him to com!ort her# love her# desire her#
understand her and more importantly accept her.
+n the last hour# though# this phone call has !elt as though she $as
speaking to a completely di!!erent person.
1ho $as this man: He $as cold and most o! his responses had consisted
o! ;Mmm< or ;+ don=t kno$<.
)he &ust $anted the com!ort o! kno$ing that he $ould "e there# that he
$ould stay and that he $asn=t going to leave her. ?lus she !elt guilty !or
even asking him these pressing 8uestions in the !irst place.
o$ she thought > +! she hadn=t started this conversation# they might still
"e talking a"out his $ork and ho$ his parents $ere going on a vacation
soon.
2ut then she also !elt that it had to "e done# "ecause she had this
crushing and ugly !eeling deep inside o! her# !or months no$. )he !elt that
he too# like all the other guys "e!ore# $ould run a$ay !rom her. %hat he
too# $ould a"andon her and leave her "ecause she sa$ very clear proo! o!
this# in his recent "ehaviors and actions.
A
+t seemed like the more she did !or him# the more she $as there !or him
and the more she com!orted him# the more distant and cruel he gre$. He
started to criticiBe everything she did and it seemed like nothing $as ever
good enough.
He had "egun ignoring her phone calls# and $as giving excuses as to $hy
they couldn=t talk. He stopped meeting her in real li!e and even "le$ o!!
their dinner date# $hich they had "een planning !or months# even though
they had already pre>paid !or it.
7amie couldn=t help "ut !eel desperate# as the truth started to dig its $ay
up to the sur!ace.
)napping out o! her thoughts# she realiBed she had "een 8uiet as she $as
lost in her o$n mental $orld !or some time no$# and realiBed that he
hadn=t said anything either in the past !e$ minutes. )he pulled the phone
a$ay !rom her ear# and looked at the screen. %he call had ended C
minutes ago.
He had hung up on her and she $as so consumed "y this $hole scenario
that she hadn=t even heard the click.
An intense amount o! desperation !looded her "ody no$# as she realiBed
that she had &ust lost him. )he "egan to grind her teeth as she 8uickly
punched in the num"ers to call him "ack. A girl picked up# and 7amie=s
heart dropped to her stomach# and her "ody $ent cold.

-ortunately > +t $as a $rong num"er# "ut the looming thought that he had
already moved on# and possi"ly had cheated on her# devastated her even
more.
)he tried again > it $as the right num"er this time# "ut his phone $as
s$itched o!!. )he couldn=t rest no$. )he got up and paced around#
rethinking a"out every$here she could have possi"ly gone $rong. %hen
she $as reminded o! her massive !ailures !rom all o! her "roken
relationships in the past.
C
)he cried harder remem"ering ho$ the last guy had actually moved all o!
his things out# $hile she $as at $ork. )he came home to !ind him gone#
no note# no text# no phone call9nothing. He didn=t even $ant to tell her
that he $as leaving# and &ust a"andoned her cold turkey.
%he next day# she got an email !rom him saying that he accidentally took
some o! her things# and that they $ere in a "ox at her !riend=s house. o
apology# no sorry > &ust another line telling her to never contact him again#
to leave him entirely alone# and that they $ere through.
+t $as starting to !eel like that all over again $ith (ric as $ell. His phone
$as s$itched o!!# he had "een distant# and he didn=t $ant to give her any
direct ans$ers.
1as he going to &ust dump her too: 1as he going to run a$ay# like all the
others had: 1as she really that undesira"le:
)ee# $hile 7aime $as going through $hat $e might call an intense
emotional "reakdo$n# at the exact same time her "est !riend# Adrienne
$as at $ork# and she had &ust gotten a text message !rom her "oy!riend#
and he $as again telling her &ust ho$ amaBing she $as# and ho$ much he
loved her# and ho$ he !elt "lessed and lucky to have a $oman like her.
o$ Adrienne $as the kind o! girl# $ho $asn=t exactly a model# and she
certainly didn=t have the most pleasant personality# "ut she al$ays had a
$ay o! getting $hat she $anted# especially !rom guys.
Adrienne=s current "oy!riend $as so in tune to Adrienne=s needs# that they
"arely !ought# he o!ten $ent a"ove and "eyond# to make sure she $as
happy. )he never had to $orry a"out "eing misunderstood or !eeling like
he simply didn=t get her.
7aime# Adrienne=s "est !riend# o!ten thought that Adrienne $as &ust
D
;lucky<# and had some sort o! super po$er# "ecause her relationships
al$ays used to $ork out so $ell. A!ter all# the t$o $ere very similar# in
many $ays. %hey had the same kind o! &o"# they had similar ho""ies# and
talents# and they had even gro$n up in the same city.
2ut# the $eird thing $as that 7aime couldn=t 8uite explain# or put her
!inger on exactly $hat Adrienne $as doing di!!erently.
%he reality $as that all o! Adrienne=s relationships seemed to !ollo$ this
pattern o! per!ection. Adrienne kne$ ho$ to sustain all o! her
relationships# almost e!!ortlessly and !la$lessly to the point# $here the guy
$ould literally $orship her# and $ould never (,(R think a"out leaving her.
+n !act# in every relationship that had ended# it $as al$ays Adrienne $ho
"roke it o!!. %ruth!ully# she had a really hard time# trying to get the guy to
leave# or agree to "reak up. Most o! the men she $as $ith# al$ays $anted
to stay# and $ould even "eg and plead $ith her to stay.
7aime couldn=t 8uite explain it# "ut she kne$ that Adrienne $as doing
something di!!erent. Ho$ever# she &ust couldn=t !igure out (EAC%5Y $hat it
$as that Adrienne kne$ that she didn=t a"out men.
You might have gotten the hint already# "ut there is actually a method to
$hat Adrienne $as doing. %here $as no happy accident or magical !ate
that caused Adrienne to "e so success!ul in her relationships.
Adrienne understood something that 7amie didn=t. )he understood the
dynamics o! the male psychology# and kne$ exactly ho$ to talk# act and
"ehave around a man to stack the odds in her !avor.
%his "ook $ill e8uip you $ith the exact tools# tricks and strategies# $hich
$ill help you stack the odds in your !avor as $ell# regardless o! your
current situation.
Ho$ever# &ust like everything else in li!e# you can=t get results $ithout
F
action. %he techni8ues descri"ed in this course $ork really $ell# provided
you apply them to your li!e.
%his course isn=t $ritten !or mental stimulation or entertainment purposes.
+t is designed to help you get the precise results you desire !rom men and
relationships $ith the least amount o! e!!ort. %here!ore# the only $ay to
see a sustaina"le change in your li!e# make sure you act on everything you
learn $ithin this course.
Alright# no$ that $e=re done $ith our little pep talk# let=s get into the !irst
section9
1G
Section 1 +motions Are +ver,thing.
;+=m sorry# "ut +=m not ready !or a relationship right no$. + have !ar too
many things to do "e!ore + settle do$n.<
5ooks like a typical male response right: %his is exactly $hat my client had
to experience recently !rom a guy# $ho she considered to "e the ultimate
man o! her dreams. Although# it had "een only 4G days since she had
kno$n him# she !elt like this $as the right time to move things to the next
level.
/n!ortunately# he didn=t share the same goal and they had to end it.
2ut this $asn=t the oddest part. %he oddest part $as# that this same man#
got into a relationship $ith another $oman $ithin a couple o! $eeks# and
$as married to her in less than ' months.
,ery strange# right: Ho$ can a man $ho claims he isn=t ready !or a
relationship to one $oman# suddenly go out and marry another $oman# so
8uickly:
+n order to "etter explain this# + must tell you another story. %his story# is
a"out my !riend 7ames.
7ames is one o! my really close !riends# and $e go $ay "ack really !ar. 1e
have "een !riends since childhood# and + have kno$n him !or as long as +
11
can remem"er. 7ames $as the kind o! guy $ho could $ork any social
group# and this $as especially true# $ith the ladies.
1hile gro$ing up# + al$ays kne$ that he $ould never struggle in the
!emale department# and that he $ould "e a complete natural $ith $omen.
He someho$# intuitively kne$ exactly $hat to say# that $ould trigger
instant attraction $ith any !emale. (ven $hen he had a girl!riend or $as in
a committed relationship# he al$ays had a huge $aiting list o! $omen
eager to date him.
2ecause o! this# he al$ays used to say that ;love doesn=t exist# it=s all only
a"out in!atuation and attraction.< %he sad part $as# that he didn=t &ust say
things like that# he actually 2(5+(,(D it too. 7ames practiced this theory o!
;in!atuation or attraction< in his li!e as $ell.
He $as so con!ident that his theory $as 1GGH true# that he "elieved there
$as no $oman out there# $ho could make him !all !or her.
+ kno$ it sounds cocky and even a "it ridiculous $hen you think a"out it#
"ut that $as his reality "ack then.
-ast !or$ard a !e$ months later# 7ames and + had "een "usy $ith $ork
and our $omen# so $e hadn=t really "een in touch that much. He calls me
out o! the "lue one day# and demands to see me.
%hinking it=s urgent# or that may"e 7ames is in trou"le# + take the day o!!
$ork. 1e meet at our usual place# and the conversation $ent !rom $ork
1'
to li!e in general# and eventually to $omen# and relationships.
%he moment + asked him a"out his personal li!e# the mood suddenly
changed. He $ent !rom "eing casual and easygoing# to uptight and
$ithdra$n. + noticed an extreme change in his "ody language# and +
sensed that something $as up. 2ut# + didn=t $ant to press too hard or dig
too !ar into it# "ecause + could tell he $as clearly uncom!orta"le.
)o# to make things less a$k$ard !or him# + 8uickly changed the topic "ack
to mysel!# and &oked around a "it. )uddenly# he told me a"out his current
girl!riend. 1ell# technically# she $as not o!!icially a ;girl!riend<# "ut he liked
to think that she $as his girl!riend.
He explained ho$ he had "een struggling desperately# to try and make
this girl like him in a $ay# $hich $ould result in a committed relationship
eventually.
+ thought to mysel! I ;1ait a minute# is this the same J(ric= + kne$: +s this
even the same guy: 1hat happened to the ol= ;+=ll never have to chase
$omen like this# + $ill never !all in love $ith a girl< attitude<:
%he man in !ront o! me# had shi!ted 1DG Degrees# and he $as &ust no
longer the same person + had kno$n !or years. %o make things $orse# he
told me that he had "een pursuing this girl !or years no$# 4 to "e precise.
+n that time!rame# he told me that he had chased her around like craBy
and a!ter a lot o! hard $ork# she said yes to him.
14
%hat=s $hen the conversation "ecame extremely ridiculous# since he
started to detail ho$ he moved cities &ust to "e $ith this girl. +n !act# he
8uit his six !igure income &o"# to go $ork at a place that paid 1KD
th
this
amount# &ust so he could "e $ith this girl.
%he most ridiculous part $as this > He told me that# this particular girl $as
in a lot o! trou"le !inancially# and he even paid o!! her de"ts# credit cards#
cell phone "ills# mortgage payments# and even some old driving !ines she
had racked up and still not paid.
His o$n parents and !riends sa$ $hat he $as doing as $ell. %hey could all
see ho$ drained he had "ecome# trying to manage this ;girl<# and trying to
chase a!ter her. His o$n !amily had "egun to constantly nag and lecture
him# "egging him to simply let this girl go !or his o$n good.
2ut the issue $as deeper than this. He had !allen into love $ith her. %he
very same guy $ho never "elieved in love# and even cockily stated that
this sort o! thing $ill never "e in the cards !or him# $as surprisingly in love
no$.
A!ter telling me a"out all o! the challenges he had "een !acing# and ho$
this girl $as extremely hard to get !or him# he suddenly started to !eel a
little "it guilty painting her in a "ad light. + mean# a!ter all# he $as craBy
a"out her. + guess he &ust $anted to prove a point to meL may"e# he $as
trying to sho$ me that this girl $as a real catch.
He $as talking a"out her non>stop and then suddenly# he took out his
phone# and sho$ed me some pictures he took $ith her.
16
He must have had around 1GG pictures o! &ust this girl# heck as odd as it
soundsL he had her !ace as his phone $allpaper as $ell.
His phone $as overloaded $ith al"ums a!ter al"ums o! her pictures. %hese
pictures $ere taken in all kinds o! places they had "een# !ood they had
eaten# holidays they $ent on etc.
+ assumed that this girl must "e a real catch# a!ter all# $hy $ould a guy
chase a!ter a $oman $ith this much passion# unless she is that one o! a
kind $oman. 2ut# $hen + sa$ the !irst picture# my eyes $ent $ide# as +
thought ;cheeB# this girl is 0M9"ut + mean# she=s nothing to $rite home
a"out<.
0! course he asked me ;$ell# $hat do you think: AmaBing# right:<
+ nodded my head# in agreement# "ut deep do$nL + honestly &ust didn=t
see anything special in $hat he $as sho$ing me.
+t then occurred to me that this girl had managed to trigger the impulsive
part o! his "rain. + kne$ then# that this $ill end tragically !or him# "ecause
once a $oman can evoke deep emotional attraction in a guy# he is no
longer in control o! himsel! "ecause his emotions are.
%his explains $hy some men $ould literally make themselves "ankruptL
&ust to please a $oman. %his also explains $hy# some men $ould end up
doing the very things they said that they $ould never ever do# &ust to
make a speci!ic $oman happy.
1@
+n !act# many guys end up altering their lives almost completely# to try and
match themselves up to the expectations o! a particular $oman.
My !riend# "eing the per!ect example o! this# didn=t change on his o$n
accord# "ut rather changed "ecause o! this girl.
%he "ig lesson to grasp in this story is that a man $ill clim" mountains#
and even attempt to go to the moon and "ack# &ust to please you# as long
as you kno$ ho$ to trigger the right kind o! desire in his mind.

evertheless# the driving !orce "eneath all this is something is called
emotions. (motions are the !uel $hich po$ers the vehicle o! our li!e.
1hatever $e do# is a result o! ho$ $e !eel# and $hat $e !eel is usually
$hat drives our actions.

* -ant ,o) to do a .)ic/ little e0ercise here1 * need to as/ ,o) #
Have you ever "een around a man and &ust !elt nothing !or him:
He tried really hard to $oo you# "ut it &ust $asn=t $orking on you: ?lus#
you $eren=t trying to logically think o! this# you &ust got this deep !eeling in
your gut# !eelings o! detachment# may"e dislike. And you $anted to get
a$ay !rom this guy.
May"e he $as even very nice# and did appear to "e someone $ho is date
$orthy# "ut you &ust didn=t !eel it in your "ones: As i!# you &ust intuitively
kne$ that it $on=t $ork out:
1A
0r picture a relationship# $here you completely lost attraction !or a guy in
a matter o! a !e$ days: You tried to make it $ork "ut# everything &ust !elt
so hard and di!!icult that you $anted to "reakup:
+ kno$ you could think o! hundreds o! such experiences# "ut the "ottom
line is that all this happens "ecause o! a shi!t in emotions in your mind.
1hen our !eelings change# everything changes.
%here!ore# this is $hy it=s really important that you understand this
concept# "ecause i! you ever $ant a guy to !eel attraction !or you# and
stay attracted. You a"solutely need to kno$ exactly ho$ to ;%une up his
emotions< to a point $here# he !eels a perpetual stream o! desire !or you
all the time.
And yes# it=s completely possi"le# and +=ll sho$ you a super easy $ay to do
this in our coming sections. 2ut "e!ore that here are 4 really vital points
you a"solutely need to kno$9
2ital 3oint 1 +motions -ill dominate logic ever, single time.
Crystal $as in the "athroom taking a sho$er# $hile her "oy!riend David
$as laying on the "ed# changing channels on his %,. He $as desperately
looking to !ind something that $ould amuse him on a very dry and "oring#
)unday a!ternoon.
1hen# suddenly he heard a "eep# and the display lit up on Crystal=s
phone# $hich $as kept on the pillo$ next to him. He stared at it !or a !e$
seconds# and then $ent "ack to !lipping channels.
%hen# it "eeped againL this time around he picked it up# and looked over
1C
her text. 1hat he sa$ !reaked him out so "adly# that he !elt a sudden
shock take over his "ody. He couldn=t "elieve $hat he $as reading.
%hese texts $ere !rom a guy Crystal $orks $ith# and turns out that she
$as actively going out $ith this guy# and they had "een intimate multiple
times. %he $orst part $as# that this guy had "een in touch $ith Crystal !or
many months no$# and David had a"solutely no idea that this $as going
on "ehind his "ack.
2ut you see# David $as angry and a little scared at the same time.
You kno$ $hy: 1ell# this $asn=t the !irst time Crystal cheated on him. )he
had done it once in the past# and David $as so much in love $ith her# that
he &ust couldn=t let her go. o$# he $as in the same position# only this
time around# he kne$ that she doesn=t care a"out him anymore.
)o# he decided that the moment crystal comes out# he $ill con!ront her#
and end things right there and then. )ure enough# crystal came out# and
David called her out on this. Crystal remained utterly silent# as he angrily
said one thing a!ter another.
)he didn=t respond to anything# and stood there like she $asn=t a!!ected
much "y any o! this. )he $as a little apologetic# "ut acted as i! it=s
something David should have expected.
A!ter a !e$ hours o! shouting# David !inally calmed do$n and said I ;5ookN
+=m done $ith youL you don=t kno$ ho$ much you=ve hurt me. + can=t live
$ith you. + need you to leave this house right no$# and never come "ack.<
1D
0nce again# as mute as ever# Crystal calmly took out her clothes !rom the
cup"oard# and started putting them in a "rie!case. 1ithin a !e$ minutes
she had packed most o! her essentials# and gave the duplicate key to
David# and $alked out o! the door.
David sat there in extreme pain# trying to !igure out ho$ he $ill ever get
over this: He kept saying to himsel! I ;Ho$ could she do this to me: Ho$
could she do this to the person she loves:<
He sat there !or 8uite a !e$ hours# trying to reason and !ind logic "ehind
all this "ut as usual# nothing made sense to him $hatsoever. A!ter a
couple o! days# David decided to text crystal and asked her to talk to him
!or a $hile# as he $asn=t !eeling okay.
%hey got on the phone# and he asked her $hy she had done it: )he didn=t
really have an ans$er. %hen he asked her# $here she $as and i! she $as
okay or not: Crystal $as emotionless at this point# and told David that she
$as at her colleagues place.
David asked I ;1hich colleague:<
%urns out# that Crystal $as staying $ith the same man she cheated on
David $ith. %he moment David came to kno$ this# he !reaked out "ig
time# "ut this time around it $as a di!!erent kind o! a !reak out.
You see# he $as a little distur"ed over the !act that she moved in $ith that
guy# "ut he $as no$ more scared that may"e he=s lost Crystal !orever. )o#
in a sudden "urst o! emotions and tears $elling up in his eyes# he said I
;+=m sorry. + didn=t $ant you to leave. ?lease come "ack. + need you
Crystal# + need you.<
1F
;+ can=t live $ithout you. + !orgive you !or everything# please don=t leave
me. ?lease:<
And a!ter a !e$ days o! emotional negotiation# Crystal came "ack and they
started living together again. + kno$ this story sounds a little $eird# "ut
$hat do you think made David take "ack the very $oman $ho cheated on
him I ot once# "ut t$ice:
He did logically reason $ith the situation. All the odds $ere telling him
that he=s dealing $ith an emotional a"user# and he kne$ very $ell that
there is a very high chance she $ould keep on cheating on him over and
over. 2ut# $hy did he struggle to let her go:
1ell# it=s "ecause he $as emotionally involved $ith her# on a very deep
level. A level $here > logic goes out o! the $indo$# and emotion
determines everything.
o$# this is an extreme example# "ut the lesson here is that i! you can tap
into the emotional side o! a man=s mind# then you can have an almost
addictive e!!ect on him. 0!ten times to the point# $here he $ould ignore
all your shortcomings or !la$s# and $ill love you regardless o! it.

2ital 3oint 2 Trading favors for affection onl, a33eals to his
logical mind.
%his is something $hich makes my "lood "oil# + mean literally. + can=t tell
you ho$ many $omen come to me# asking me i! they should $ear a
certain dress# or do their hair a certain $ay# or cook !ancy stu!! in hopes
that it $ill lure a guy.
'G
)ure# it $ill lure him. 2ut it $ill lure only the logical side o! his mind# not
the emotional side. 5ooks do matter to men# yes# "ut looks aren=t the most
important element $hen it comes to desire and attraction.
+n !act# let me tell you something very interesting > Have you ever seen a
guy# $ho !ell head over heels !or a $oman# &ust "ecause she $as
attractive: Did you notice ho$# he $ould "ring her !lo$ersL take her out
on !ancy dates# and all the other good stu!!:
2ut# have you noticed that this same man $ill start getting $andering eyes
a!ter a $hile# and $ill start looking at other more attractive $omen: +n
!act# he treats his present girl as i! she isn=t that pretty or attractive
anymore:
1hy do you think this is:
1ell# this is something + call the exposure "lur O+t=s a !ancy term + invented
mysel!P. (xposure "lur simply states that# $hen you are exposed to
something !or a certain period o! time# it "lurs itsel! out in your vie$.
%hat means# $hen a man has stayed $ith a $oman !or a !e$ $eeks# or
months# her looks $on=t please him# like it used to please him at the early
stages o! the relationship. +t &ust "lurs it out.
+ kno$# this sounds a little too di!!icult to s$allo$# "ut this is 1GGH true
and pro"a"ly the main reason $hy# no matter ho$ good looking or
attractive a girl is# she has the same chances o! "eing cheated on#
dumped# or a"andoned# like every other girl out there.
)o# the point +=m trying to make is simple I 1hen you dress sexy or do
'1
!avors !or men# expecting that they $ill give you love in return# then you
are only appealing to the logical side o! his mind# not the emotional side.
)ure# he $ill take note o! all your actions# "ut you $on=t "e the $oman he
$ould dream a"out. You $on=t "e the $oman# $ho $ill send him on an up
and do$n roller coaster o! pleasura"le !eelings. %hat only happens $hen#
you appeal to the emotional side o! him.
?lus# here is the great part a"out this I 0nce you understand exactly ho$
to trigger his emotions# and tune it up# his attraction and desire !or you
$ill gro$ su"stantially $ith time. You $ill see your relationship getting
"etter and "etter as each day passes.
And# this is $hat "rings me to our third most vital point9

2ital 3oint ! 4o) m)st become the so)rce of 3ositive feelings
for him
Have you ever "een around a man# $ho gave you literal "utter!lies in your
stomach: )omeone# $ho makes you !eel so good# that you $ant to "e
around him as much and as long as possi"le: )omeone# $ho makes your
heart !eel $arm and !uBBy:
1hy do you think this is happening: 1hy are thoughts o! that guy#
triggering amaBing !eelings in your mind and "ody: 1ell# that=s "ecause
that person has "ecome a trigger o! pleasura"le !eelings# and $henever
you think a"out him# you can=t help "ut !eel a"solutely amaBing.
)imilarly# can you think o! someone $ho dumped you# or cheated on you:
Can you !eel your "ody $elling up $ith !eelings o! utter disgust# pain and
may"e even hatred: You see# that=s a trigger as $ell.
''
%he image o! that person triggers nasty memories in your mind. )o# my
main goal $ith this course is to make you a trigger o! euphoric !eelings in
the mind o! that special man.
+ $ill sho$ you exactly ho$ you can use something + no$ call I ;%he
emotional tune up process<# to make a guy !eel so good around you# that
he $ill see you as his one and only special one. 2ut "e!ore $e get to the
tune up process# + must tell you a"out the emotional attraction scale $hich
is discussed in the next section.

'4
Section 2 The +motional Attraction Scale5
%he concept + am a"out to descri"e in this chapter# is so pro!ound# that it
!orms the !oundation o! everything you $ill ever encounter $ith a man.
You $ill "e a"le to understand men on a level# $hich you cannot even
imagine.
0nce you grasp the underlying structure# and "asis upon $hich men
operate through this concept# you $ill have an almost un!air advantage in
every situation.
%he emotional attraction scale is a very straight!or$ard concept# to explain
it in the simplest terms > + $ant you to think o! a scale# !rom 1 to 1GL
$here 1 represents the lo$est or least possi"le amount o! negative
emotion that a man can !eel or have to$ard you.
1hile# 1G# o! course# is representative o! the most intense and highest
amount o! healthy and positive emotion that a man can !eel to$ard you.
o$# + $ant you to visualiBe something $eird. As !unny as it sounds I %ry
to imagine a guy# $ho has this scale stuck to his !orehead. %hink o! him#
sitting next to you# engaged in a conversation $ith you# all $hile the scale
is shi!ting !rom le!t to right and# $avering all over the place# as you are
speaking to him.
'6
(nvision that you can $atch this dial actually move in real time# and see
ho$ he is !eeling to$ard you# during the entire conversation.
+! you have experienced a guy# $ho has sho$ed a lot o! interest in you at
!irst# "ut then completely lost interest in you# this means that the scale in
his head shi!ted# !rom around a F or 1GL to a ' or a 1. %he issue# ho$ever#
is not that it shi!tedL the true issue# is that the dial remained at those lo$
levels.
Any $oman# $ho is success!ul $ith a man# understands ho$ to
consistently keep the dial on a level D or a"ove at all times. Another crucial
di!!erence is that# the moment she sees the dial shi!ting# $hich it may# she
makes +)%A% changes# $ith her actions and $ords.
)he doesn=t $ait !or things to get "etter# "ecause# once his attraction
to$ard you is d$indling# it $ill only continue to !all do$n# i! you leave it in
this path.
5et me give you a realistic representation o! this scale# and ho$ it really
a!!ects you in your day>to>day dealings $ith a man9
'@
(ver "een in a situation# or dealt $ith a man# $ho ;sort>o!< likes you# "ut
the attraction coming !rom his end# isn=t too intense:
)ometimesL he gives you a lot o! attentionL "ut then there are times
$here# you really $onder i! he even likes you at all# and it seems as
though he doesn=t care !or you that much. 2ut# a!ter a !e$ days# he is
suddenly interested in you again# much to your con!usion:
0r# have you ever seen a $oman in a relationship# $hose "oy!riend or
hus"and $ould take her !or granted !or a $eek straightL "ut then# he
might take an intense interest in her suddenly a!ter that# "ut only !or a
very short $hile:
+n these cases# men act $ishy>$ashy or hot and cold "ecause# the dial on
their emotional attraction scale is stuck in the middle# some$here around
the num"er @.
%his also explains $hy $omen# $ho expect commitment !rom a guy# are
stuck in lim"o# $aiting !or the guy to !inally make a solid move.
%hat=s "ecause his dial is stuck right smack da" in the middle# $ith nothing
prompting him to act positively# nor negatively. He $on=t dump her or
leave# "ut he also $on=t properly commit either.
o$# to understand this !urther# + am going to "reak do$n the 1G levels#
so that you can understand the signs and symptoms o! each o! these
levels# to recogniBe exactly $hat level your man is in# and to "e a"le to
'A
kno$ right a$ay 1H( he makes a change "et$een levels as $ell.
6evels 1#2: 6ittle To 7o Attraction 8hase.
?redominant (motions.
Q2oredom
QDisinterest
QAversion
QDispleasure
Q+ntense disappointment
QApatheticKCarelessness

%his is the $orst level to "e in. %his is usually the level $here# a guy !eels
a"solutely no attraction !or you# and i! you don=t do something a"out it
!ast# he might dump you.
6evels !#: Some Attraction1 9riend :one.
Q%reats you $ell# "ut sho$s no emotional intent.
Q+ndi!!erent.

Almost every $oman understands this level all too $ell. +! you are already
committed# then you !eel as though he treats you like a !riend# and there
is no emotional intent o! desire !rom his end.
0n the other hand# i! you are casually dating and end up in this level# then
'C
he $ill thro$ you in the ;-riends Rone<# and you $ill !eel a little stuck.
6evels "#$: ;ot And Cold Attraction
Q1ishy>1ashy
Q/ncertainty
QDou"t!ulness
%his is the level $here a guy could sho$ an intense level o! interest in you
one day# and then completely ignore you the next. He $ould sho$er you
$ith so much love that it over$helms you# $hile the next moment# he $ill
act so dry that it $ill !eel like he doesn=t even kno$ you.

6evels %#&: Strong Attraction
Q(xcitement
Q?assion
Q-ondness
QDesire
%his is a very good level to "e at. %his is the level $here a guy $ill !eel at
ease in your company and $ill !ind you to "e very pleasant to "e around.
6evels '#1(: +0treme1 *ntense Attraction
'D
Q 2liss
Q (nthrallment
Q%hrilled
QConsistently ?assionate
Q+n!atuated
%his is the level $here a guy !eels a"solutely mesmeriBed "y you. 1hen a
guy is $orking $ithin the range o! the F
th
and 1G
th
levels# he $ill !eel a
strong inner need to "e $ith you# as much as possi"le# and $ill not "e
a"le to cur" his desire to$ard you. My goal is to sho$ you exactly ho$
you can keep a guy at this level on a consistent "asis.
%o explain the importance o! this scale !urther# + need to tell you the '
really important reasons $hy you must a"solutely must "e a$are o! this
concept9
Reason <1 There is no eas, -a, to com3rehend s3ecific
feelings
Desire is all a"out !eelings and not a"out thoughts. A guy doesn=t have to
logically think a"out liking or disliking you# it &ust happens "y de!ault. %he
!eelings he experiences in your company# determine $hether he $ill like or
dislike you.
2ut then# there are also situations $here a man might not "e a"le to make
up his mind a"out you. 0nce again# he $on=t "e a"le to pin point exactly
'F
$hy that is the case# ho$ever the up and do$n !lo$ o! emotions con!uses
him as $ell.
)ince a guy can=t exactly understand the reasoning or phenomenon "ehind
his o$n !eelings# understanding the emotional attraction scale puts you in
the position o! extreme po$er.
2ecause no$# you $ill "e a"le to understand exactly $hat level o! desire
he is at in regards to you# and you $ill kno$ exactly $hat to do# in order
to intensi!y his level o! desire !or you.
Reason <2 =hen ,o) don>t /no- the 3roblem1 ho- -ill ,o)
find the sol)tion?
+t=s o!ten said that kno$ing the exact pro"lem or the issue you=re dealing
$ith means that# you have !ound hal! the solution. +n other $ords# unless
you kno$ exactly $here you currently stand $ith a guy# and accurately
understand the emotions he experiences in regards to you. Ho$ can you
even !ix anything:
%his is the only reason $hy# so many $omen either do nothing or $orse#
the $rong thing $hen they are dealing $ith an uninterested or distant
man.
?lus# i! you=re like most $omen# then you already kno$ that there isn=t &ust
one universal thing# or process you can apply and magically make a man
desire you.
4G
A $oman came to me once# $ho $as a"out to go through a very pain!ul
divorce. )he came to me as the last resort# and + could tell that she had
tried a lot o! things and even "urned hersel! in the process.
)he told me that she lost $eight# changed her looks# and also got a
complete makeover# "ut her hus"and $as still completely un!aBed. He is
still strictly $ished to divorce her# and she hasn=t "een a"le to !ind a $ay
to solve this situation.
%his is $here + explained the $hole concept o! the emotional attraction
scale to her# and explained that $hat she $as doing $ould have $orked i!
her hus"and had "een at around level 6>@ on the scale.
2ut# un!ortunately her hus"and $as at level 1# and this is $hy her actions
so !ar didn=t get her any result.
+n short I + told her to alter her actions to match the level her man $as
at. +n her case# a simple change o! looks $asn=t enough# "ecause her
hus"and had a lot o! negative !eelings attached to her.
0n !urther research# + realiBed that she had done certain things in the past
that le!t her hus"and $ith a lot o! negative triggers.
)o# the !irst step !or her $as to clear these negative triggers# and
neutraliBe the !eelings that her hus"and experienced in regards to her. +n
other $ords# she had to move her hus"and !rom level 1>'# to level 4>6 and
41
then $ork !urther to move it a"ove @ and so on.
2ut# she couldn=t have done any o! this unless she !irst understood# $hat
level on the attraction scale her hus"and $as on# there!ore# this is the
reason $hy# you a"solutely need to > not &ust understand "ut also# apply
this concept to all your dealings $ith a man.
Mno$ing this one thing alone# $ill give you a very accurate idea o! $here
you stand $ith a man currently. 2e!ore + go any !urther# +=d like to tell you
a little "it a"out ho$ + discovered this concept9
2ack in the day# $hen + $as a pick up artist and used to teach men the
core dynamics o! attraction# most o! my students used to !ind themselves
con!used regarding the application o! the concepts.
%here $as one particular guy dealing $ith a "reakup situation. He $anted
to learn the principles o! attraction# &ust so he could re>attract his
girl!riend.
As disappointing as it sounds I + taught him a lot o! concepts# ho$ever#
$henever he tried to apply it# he $ould misera"ly !ail.
+=m o"sessed $ith results# in !act# i! + teach a student something# then +
a"solutely $ant him to get a result or else + can=t relax. 2ut you see > the
pro"lem $asn=t that my concepts don=t $ork. %he main pro"lem $as that#
he had a"solutely no idea $here his ex $as on the scale o! attraction.
4'
)o &ust as an experiment + asked him I +! you $ere to have a scale o! 1 to
1G# $here 1 means a"solutely no attraction# and 1G means extremely
intense attraction# $here do you think your ex stands currently: He
instantly said 4. He didn=t even have to think too much a"out it# or second
guess it. He &ust intuitively# had an ans$er !or me.
%hat=s the point $here + truly understood the value o! this process# and +
!urther re!ined it "y using it $ith my other students# and ultimately $ith
my !emale students. )o# this is ho$ + came up $ith this concept.
)o no$# + $ant to talk a"out the most important element "y !ar.
+t=s all nice and dandy to understand $here you currently stand $ith a
guy# it=s really amaBing to kno$ the exact stage he is at $ith you# and the
exact !eelings he experiences around you. Ho$ever# ho$ do you intensi!y
his !eelings and trans!er him to the next level:
%hat=s a very good 8uestionL ho$ever# you=ll have to $ait a little !or the
ans$er. +n the coming sections# you $ill discover exactly $hat to say and
do to tune up any man=s desire !or you immensely.
Ho$ever# "e!ore $e get to that# + have some really good ne$s !or you > As
a $oman# you currently hold the po$er to tune up any man=s desire !or
you# as and $hen you please.
All this can "e achieved "y making very simple and almost e!!ortless
ad&ustments $ith your $ords and actions. You $ill see an extreme level o!
44
change in ho$ men perceive you# !rom this point on.
Ho$ever# "e!ore $e get to the methodology# + must explain $hat leads to
lo$ levels o! attraction to "egin $ith. 5et=s move on to the next section
and discuss this in detail.

46
Section ! The *nvestment @echanism.
Have you ever heard the saying > %he one $ho cares the least controls the
relationship: Do you think it=s true# and have you seen this $ork in your
relationship: +=ll let you ponder over that !or a $hile# "ut right no$# let me
tell you a story a"out a $oman.
+ $on=t reveal her name !or privacy purposes# so let=s &ust call her the
;desperate romantic<L +=ll tell you $hy + called her that in a moment.
Here is ho$ the story "egan > + $as having a phone conversation $ith the
;desperate romantic<# and $e $ere discussing the topic o! love# in the
middle o! the conversation# she asked me9
;2ut# love is meant to "e unconditional isn=t it: 1hy did he do that to me:
1hy couldn=t he see ho$ much +=ve done !or him# ho$ much + loved him#
ho$ much he really meant to me:<
%he ;desperate romantic=s< "oy!riend $asn=t really interested in her
anymore# he had casually dated her !or a !e$ months# and conversely
gave her the impression that he $as in it !or the long haul. +n the hopes
that he $ould marry her# she invested hersel! completely in the
relationship# only to su!!er an unexpected and sudden loss.
+ replied9
;1ell# love isn=t supposed to "e unconditional. %hat=s a huge myth !ed to
us "y romance novels# and Holly$ood. +! you $ant unconditional love#
4@
then you=d have to "uy a dog. Humans aren=t capa"le o! "eing 1GGH
unconditional.<
;%here are al$ays conditions# "ecause $ithout conditions nothing exists.
+n !act# i! you $ere to study the core o! human psychology# you $ill
discover that $e are very sel!ish "eings. (ven $hen $e do nice acts# it=s
usually driven "y sel!ish motives. evertheless# the sad part is# that
humans are more sel!ish than ever in this day and age.<
)o is there no hope !or me# she asked:
+ never said there is no hope# + replied. %here is a lot o! hope# "ut the only
thing is# that the rules have changed a little# and in order to $in this
game# you $ill have to stick to the rules.
)o# $hat are the rules she asked: 1ell# there is &ust 1 rule and 1 rule
alone.
+ $ant you to think o! a relationship# like a "uilding $ith many !loors. (ach
!loor represents the investment# you and your partner have made in the
relationship. %he more the investment# the higher and taller $ill "e the
"uilding.
2ut# this is $here things get a little tricky. %he rule is that you and your
partner must invest an e8ual amount o! time and e!!ort# in constructing
this "uilding or the relationship. You should either $ork together on
"uilding each !loor# or i! you $orked alone on one !loor# then it=s
automatically your partner=s &o" to $ork on the next !loor# and so on.
%he pro"lem occurs# $hen you do all the $ork alone# and try to make the
"uilding as tall as possi"le on your o$n. (ventually# you $ill !ind yoursel!
exhausted# out o! energy# and standing on top o! that "uilding completely
4A
alone# staring do$n at your partner $ho is still sitting on the !irst !loor.
Also# the higher up you are# the more it $ill hurt $hen you !all do$n. %he
thing is simple I you can=t go at it alone. 2ut this is the mistake most
$omen make. %hey try to "uild a relationship on their o$n# and tend to
invest a lot more than needed.
;Can you explain !urther she asked:< )ure# + replied.
1hen a $oman emotionally invests hersel! into a man# she naturally
expects some return on that investment. Ho$ever# i! she doesn=t get an
e8ual or any return# her natural reaction is to try even harder# and in that
process# she unconsciously invests more and more# hoping that she $ould
get something "ack.
%hat=s almost like gam"ling at the casino. You lose a "it# then you gam"le
more to make up !or that loss# "ut then you realiBe that you made another
loss. Ho$ever# you still gam"le !urther to make up !or that loss# till the
time you are completely out o! money.
%hen# + explained exactly $hy her "oy!riend le!t her I
+ said I ;Do you kno$ the main reason $hy your "oy!riend le!t you: He
le!t you# "ecause# you didn=t ask him to invest e8ually in the relationship.
At the early stages# $hen he sho$ered you $ith lots o! love and attention#
you dro$ned yoursel! in a !alse sense o! security assuming that it $as
going to "e a great deal.
)ince he used to invest a lot more# at the early stages# you automatically
!elt lia"le to him and decided to invest "ack. 2ut $ith time# he started
4C
investing less# and instead o! slo$ing do$n# you $ent even !aster and
invested a lot more in him than it $as re8uired.
1ith time# you indirectly trained him to accept this as normal. )o# as an
example > you started calling him a lot more# $hile he used to never call
you# you started doing all the hard $ork# $hile he laid "ack and didn=t do
anything.
Your !oundation $as $eak# and you kept on "uilding one !loor a!ter
another# only to !ind out that your "oy!riend# $as still sitting on the ground
!loor# sipping margaritas# $hile you $orked your ass o!! doing all the hard
$ork.
Do you understand $hat + mean: A"solutely# she said.
)o# the "ottom line is that $hen your investment in a man# is !ar more
than his investment in you# it leads to lo$ levels o! attraction on the
emotional attraction scale.
+t could "e during the early stages# middle or later stages o! the
relationship. +t doesn=t really make any di!!erence. %his concept is true !or
every interaction you have $ith a man# even i! it=s a"solutely casual.
)o# the rule is simple I Your investment in him has to "e e8ual# or less
than his investment in you. 1hen things operate in this !ashion# he $ill
al$ays have a good level o! interest in you# and his desire !or you $ill
gro$ $ith time instead o! !ading a$ay.
%o put things into perspective# let me go "ack into the very !irst thing +
stated in this section. %he one $ho cares the least controls the relationship
4D
right: 1ell no# it doesn=t $ork that $ay.
%he one $ho cares the least is a &erk# and i! you are stuck $ith such a
&erk# then it=s a sin to not get rid o! him. Caring is a good thing# you should
never stop caring a"out your partner# except you have to remem"er that
you shouldn=t end up giving too much# $hen you are not getting anything
in return.
(verything has to "e a !air deal. 1hen you give more and get less# you
have indirectly given a$ay your control# and $hen you give a$ay your
control# the other person gets po$er over you.
o$ you must "e thinking > 0kay# + understand ho$ the process $orks#
"ut can you explain $hy $omen get themselves in a situation $here
they=ve lost all control: 1ell# there are 4 ma&or reasons $hy $omen do it9
Reason <1 * m)st earn his love1 beca)se if * don>t do eno)gh1
he -on>t li/e me.
;0nly "ad girls don=t !inish dinner# are you a good girl: 1ill you !inish your
dinner: Do you $ant to "e a good girl !or mommy:<
;Yes mommy# +=m a good girl<# and she goes on to !inish her dinner. 1ell# +
$on=t put any la"els on this# "ut have you ever seen a parent negotiating
$ith their kid this $ay: + "et you have.
o$# like + already said# +=m no one to make any &udgments here# "ut right
since $e $ere kids# $e $ere taught that in order to earn someone=s
a!!ection# $e must do something to please them.
4F
1ell# the issue is that this thing doesn=t leave us alone $hen $e gro$
older. )o it=s no surprise $hy so many $omen give out a lot at !irst# usually
unconsciously# in hopes to gain a man=s a!!ection.
%his could happen at any stage o! the relationship. + have seen so many
$omen# going out o! their $ay to impress a guy# &ust "ecause they like
him and $ant to make sure he likes them "ack.
+t=s not that every $oman naturally does thisL rather# some $omen
unconsciously !eel that i! they don=t do something to $oo a guy# earn his
attention# and prove their $orth to him# then# he might not like them at
all# and the relationship might not make its $ay to the next level.
A similar thing is true during the later stages o! the relationship as $ell#
especially during the time# $hen a $oman $ants her man to commit. %his
is the stage $hen she might invest hersel! t$ice as much or more# in
hopes to earn her man=s commitment.
?lus# the same is true at the ultimate stages o! the relationship# especially
$hen the relationship has run its course# and is running its !inal rounds.
%his is the time $here a $oman !ears that her lover might leave her
!orever# and in the hopes to secure $hatever she has le!t# she goes out o!
her $ay to prove that she is $orth it.
2ut do you kno$ that the moment you have to prove yoursel!# you have
automatically lost the "attle: +=ll tell you more a"out this in a moment# "ut
"e!ore that let=s get to the '
nd
"ig reason9
Reason<2 A good deed deserves something good in ret)rn.
6G
%he truth is that this is true in li!e# "ut not in relationships. + don=t kno$
$hy $omen hold this "elie!. 1omen "elieve that i! she can &ust sho$ a
guy ho$ amaBing she is# and prove to him that she=ll make the "est
possi"le girl!riend# he $ill see it and $ill adore her !or it.
1ell# let me give you a reality check here I Doing something good !or a
man doesn=t mean he $ill return the !avor. +n !act# he might la"el you as
needy or desperate# &ust "ecause you are trying to prove yoursel! to him.
And you kno$ $hat: You $ill only !eel used in the process# "ecause
internally it=s not going to make sense to you. You $ill sit there and
constantly 8uestion yoursel! and ask I + did all these nice things !or him#
$hy didn=t he reciprocate:
Heck# i! you=re like most $omen# you might turn this into a topic o! gossip
among your !emale !riends# and come to a common conclusion that all
men are messed up# and they &ust $ant to use you. 1ell# the reality is that
a man can=t use you# unless you give him an opportunity to do so.
%he pro"lem is that most $omen don=t understand this concept. +=ll give
you more details on this later# "ut !or no$# please understand that i! you
do nice things !or a guy# it doesn=t mean that he is going to do nice things
!or you in return. A!!ection can=t "e earned this $ay# and this "rings me to
the 4
rd
and !inal reason9
Reason <! 4o) -ant it to -or/ at an, 3ossible cost.
+ don=t think + can talk a"out this topic $ithout pissing a !e$ $omen o!!#
"ut it=s still important "ecause $ithout tough love# some $omen might not
get the message.
61
Have you ever had an imaginary relationship: o# +=m not talking a"out
day dreaming# or having an imaginary "oy!riend. +=m talking a"out $omen
$ho unconsciously decide that no matter $hat the odds# they are &ust
going to do anything to make their relationship $ork# even i! their man is
a complete $uss# laBy and a good !or nothing chump.
+! the man is not pulling his $eight in the relationship# some $omen make
it their duty to do it on his "ehal!. %hey put themselves in the driver=s seat#
and assume that i! they make every e!!ort# and try to make it $ork# things
$ill change $ith time# and they $ill !inally get $hat they $ant.
1ell# the truth is# that time never comes. o matter ho$ much you invest#
you can=t run a relationship on a single $heel.
)imilarly# the same is true !or early stages o! a relationship as $ell.
)ometimes# $omen meet a guy $ho literally s$eeps them o!! their !eet.
He appears to "e doing all the right things# and in the process makes you
!eel emotionally secure.
+t=s a !eeling you !ind yoursel! getting addicted to# and a!ter a $hile you
start dreaming and visualiBing a per!ect relationship $ith this per!ect man.
You start imagining ho$ amaBing li!e $ill "e to "e $ith this man# ho$
$onder!ul it $ill "e to "e next to him every morning# to spend long
romantic $eekends together# and to have him treat you like his one and
only special girl.
)o !ar so good right:
6'
1rongN 2ecause that=s $hen# the ugly reality hits you. )uddenly# you
realiBe that this prince charming isn=t interested in having you as his
8ueen# and pro"a"ly has other plans in mind. You !ind out that he isn=t as
enthusiastic a"out having a relationship $ith you# as you are $ith him and
then you realiBe that his interest in you is starting to !ade# little "y little.
He calls you a lot less# you t$o don=t meet that o!ten# and suddenly you
!eel that you are starting to slip into the !riend=s Bone. %his is the point
$hen you !inally !ace some "rutal reality# and realiBe that may"e your
dream isn=t going to come true# and things $on=t "e as you assumed.
At this point# you !eel so desperate# that you make a promise to yoursel!
that no matter $hat# you are going to make it $ork and as usual# this is
$here you start to invest yoursel! a lot more. You start doing a lot more
things in the 8uest to please him# and as a result# you give your po$er
a$ay and put him on a pedestal.
%he truth is simple I You can=t make it $ork all "y yoursel!. You need to
make him $ork !or it too# that=s the only $ay to make it $ork in this day
and age. + hope you get the message "y no$.
)o !ar $e=ve esta"lished that in order !or a man to !eel a consistent level
o! desire !or you# you need to ensure that you aren=t investing more in
him# than he is investing in you. Moreover# you also kno$ the 4 primary
reasons $hy $omen end up investing more.
o$# +=m getting a little ahead o! mysel! "ut +=ll still like to introduce the
magic !ormula# $hich $ill ensure that you never go $rong in this area. +
call this !ormula the I ;,acuum !ormula<.
+n simple terms# this !ormula states that your &o" is to create enough
64
vacuum# so that your man naturally !eels the pull to !ill up that vacuum.
+n other $ords# $henever you !eel that you have invested more# and don=t
see an e8ual amount o! return !rom your man# you must hold your
position and not take any !urther steps. 0r you must pull "ack a little# and
create enough vacuum until your man !ills up that vacuum.
)o# i! your man doesn=t call you enough# and you !eel that you are the one
al$ays calling him# your &o" is to stop calling him altogether# and $ait !or
him to call you. %he secret is to hold your position# until the time he takes
the necessary action.
)imilarly# i! you=re already in a relationship and !eel that you are putting a
lot o! time# energy# and e!!ort into your relationship# $hile your partner is
laid "ack and isn=t returning the !avor. You should stop initiating all action
immediately# until the time he !inally comes to his senses and starts to
invest.
2ut# ho$ do you kno$ ho$ much to pull "ack: %here is a very easy $ay to
!igure it out as $ell. You can do it "y using your magic o! your intuition.
%he exercise +=ll ask you to do no$ $ill sound a little strange# "ut# it $ill
give you a very accurate measure o! $here you stand# and ho$ much you
should pull "ack. +t involves 1 extremely easy step.
Here is $hat you need to do I Ask yoursel! a simple 8uestion I +! you
$ere to measure your man=s investment in you in terms o! attention#
attraction# desire and love# ho$ many points $ould you give him on a
scale o! 1 to 1G# $here 1 represents the lo$est possi"le investment# and
1G represents the highest possi"le investment:
Don=t try to think too much a"out this "ecause# the !irst ans$er $hich $ill
66
pop into your head# is going to "e the most accurate one. +! your ans$er
is anything "elo$ 6# then you need to pull at least ' steps "ack. +n other
$ords# i! your man never calls you# you should not call him "ack until the
time he has called you at least ' times.
)imilarly# i! your intuition gave you a con!using ans$er# and you can=t
exactly get a num"er in your head# that means the situation is some$here
in the middle# that is around @ or A. +n that case# you don=t need to pull
"ack a lot# rather you need to hold your position# and let the man initiate
action !irst.
2ut# $hat i! you got anything a"ove A: 1ell# in that case you are doing
pretty $ell# and you might not need to use this process# "ut then again#
nothing is really permanent $ith relationships. ?lus# you never kno$ $hen
your man might shi!t a gear in his head# and start to pull "ack a little.
(ither $ay# no$ that you kno$ this process# you $ill kno$ exactly ho$ to
operate at di!!erent levels $ith him.
ext# +=d like to sho$ you the concept o! value and ho$ it $orks in a
man=s $orld.

6@
Cha3ter # The 2al)e Conce3t.
)o# $hat is value really: 1ell# in short value can "e de!ined as I Ho$
important a man thinks you really are to him. Another de!inition $ould "e
I the 8uality o! emotions a man experiences around you# or in your
company.
%he higher the 8uality o! emotions he experiences around you# the more
valua"le you $ill "e to him.
%ake note# that + used the $ord to him# and not everyone else. +=ll explain
$hy + said to ;Him< in a moment# "ut "e!ore that it=s story time. %his is a
story o! a recent discussion + had $ith a lady named 7ane.
7ane asked me I ;1hy $on=t he &ust call me: 1hy:<
;+ kno$ +=m an attractive $oman# he even tells me that all the time. 1e
share an amaBing level o! chemistry# "ut lately it seems like everything has
gone do$nhill. +n the past# $e used to see each other almost ' to 4 times
a $eek. 2ut no$# even once a $eek is di!!icult !or him.<
;+n the past# he $ould call me all the time# o!tentimes# several times a day
"ut no$# + never get a call !rom him# and $hen + try to contact him# he is
al$ays "usy. +t=s not like his $orkload has increased# nor is it that he got a
promotion# and has more stu!! to do around the o!!ice no$.
;+ don=t understand $hy other things are more important to him# than me
6A
no$: )ometimes# + think that he makes excuses &ust to avoid me. May"e
+=m right# may"e +=m $rong# + &ust don=t kno$. 1hat do you think:<
+ replied I ;1ell# + kno$ the ans$er "ut are you ready !or it:<
;0! course + am<# she exclaimed $ith excitement.
1ell# you control the course o! this relationship# he doesn=t# + said. You are
the creator o! all this and it=s not his !ault !or "ehaving this $ay. )he got
angry# and didn=t like $hat + said# "ut + asked her to really listen to me
care!ully.
%his is $here + explained the concept o! value to her. + told her that at the
early stages o! the relationship# the $ay she $as "ehaving around him#
indirectly demonstrated that she $as a $oman o! high value# and in
return# he a$arded $ith a lot o! attention and a!!ection.
+t=s a very simple trade up# ho$ever many $omen don=t understand this.
2ut# $hy is this so important: 1ell# there are t$o kinds o! categories men
put $omen in I %he kind he $ould casually date or have sex $ith# and
then there is the kind he $ould gladly commit to# and turn into his $i!e
eventually.
Men have a di!!erent selection process !or "oth the categories. 1hen a
man only $ants to casually date or sleep around# he $ould usually select a
$oman "ased on her looks and looks alone.
2ut# $hen it comes to selecting a potential mate# things change drastically.
His concept o! selection goes up several notches# and he "ecome a lot
more selective than normal. %his is the exact phase# $hen a $oman=s
6C
value is the primary !actor he looks !or# and everything else "ecomes
almost secondary.
)o i! you don=t understand this concept the right $ay# then there is a high
chance that you might end up demonstrating lo$er value# and in return
you might not "e a"le to get the exact kind o! attention you desire !rom
him.
+ kno$ it sounds a little rude and even plainly sel!ish# i! you study ho$
men categoriBe $omen. 2ut# this process doesn=t take place consciously.
+n other $ords# a man doesn=t sit around# and determine $hether a
$oman is high value# or not.
+t all happens unconsciously# and he picks up on your "ody language and
general "ehavior# to determine $here you actually stand in terms o! overall
value. As a result# he makes an unconscious &udgment on $hether you are
high value or not# and then treats you accordingly.
As humans# $e all seek to experience the "est li!e possi"le !or ourselves#
and a very important part o! that process is to experience good emotions#
as o!ten as possi"le. o one sits around and $ishes to experience poor
emotions.
%his is $hy the 8uality o! emotions he experiences in your company# $ill
"e the ma&or !actor in ho$ he perceives your true value. 2ut# $hat are the
"asic steps involved: Ho$ can + make him see me as someone o! higher
value: Here is ho$9
%here are 4 very important !actors $hich determine your value# these are
I
1# ;o- ,o) treat ,o)rself.
6D
2# ;o- attainable ,o) are for him.
!# ;o- strong ,o)r bo)ndaries are.
o$ let me "reak these do$n !urther. %he !irst one is I Ho$ you treat
yoursel!.
You must have heard o! the saying I You train people on ho$ to treat
you: 1ell# $hen it comes to men and relationships# you indirectly train
men on ho$ to treat you "y demonstrating# ho$ you treat yoursel!.
Anytime you treat yoursel! poorly# men $ill pick up on that# and $ill
instantly see you as someone o! very lo$ value. 2ut this isn=t as simple as
it sounds.
%reating yoursel! poorly could "e a variety o! di!!erent things. %hings such
as9
>Acting insecure around him.
>?ointing out $hat you lack to him.
>Changing your routines or schedules to match his all the time.
>5etting him act or talk around you in $ays $hich you don=t agree $ith.
0ne o! my !emale !riends $as dealing $ith a similar situation# $ith her
"oy!riend. +n !act# she $as going through an utterly unreasona"le
situation. 1henever she used to call her "oy!riend and he $as "usy# he
$ould ask her to call later.
6F
Ho$ever# $hen this guy used to call her# he expected her to ans$er the
phone# and "e availa"le to talk# or else he used to get mad. )o "ecause to
keep this man happy# my !riend started putting important things on hold#
$henever he used to call.
0ne day + asked her I ;Don=t you think it=s rather unreasona"le !or this
man to demand your attention# $hen you=re "usy:< )he hesitantly said I
;1ell# i! + don=t ans$er he gets mad# and $e end up arguing.<
+ said# "ut $hen you call him and he is "usy $ith something# $hat do you
do: Do you get mad as $ell:
)he said I 0! course not.
+ said "ingo# then $hy are you giving him this luxury: 1hy does he
deserve your time# $hen he can=t even give you his time $hen you need
it: Do you see the issue here: 2ut this $asn=t an easy thing !or her# +
meanL she had indirectly programmed this man to treat her this $ay#
"ecause she never really said no to him.
)he didn=t understand that indirectly# she $as telling this guy I ;5ookN +
value you so much# that + $ill put other important things on hold !or you. +
don=t respect mysel! enough to say no to you# there!ore you can tell me
anything and +=ll gladly comply $ith you.<
1hen + "roke it all do$n !or her# and explained to her exactly# ho$ she
$as giving all her po$er a$ay and letting this guy disrespect her# she
!inally got the message# and started saying no to him.
A guy $ill never value someone $ho doesn=t treat hersel! $ith some
@G
respect. )o# make it a ha"it to al$ays give yoursel! more pre!erence# than
everyone else around you.
o$# let=s talk a"out the second point $hich is > Ho$ attaina"le you are
!or him.
As humans $hen $e have to $ork hard !or something# $e automatically
attach a higher value tag to that speci!ic thing. %he same thing goes !or
men and relationships.
1hen a man has to $ork hard !or something# he $ill automatically value it
a lot more and# this is $here the attaina"ility !actor comes into play.
Attaina"ility !actor simply means ho$ easy you are to attain !or a guy.
1hen something is di!!icult to attain# a guy automatically assumes# it must
"e valua"le.
2ut# does this mean that + have to pretend# and make him $ork a little
hard to capture me: Doesn=t this sound like a game:
1ell# i! it=s a game then you are playing it !or a good reason# "ecause "y
the end o! it# "oth o! you $in. +n !act# you $ould "e doing him a !avor "y
playing it this $ay. 1hy you ask:
1ell# !or the simple reason that men are genetically $ired to pursue# in
!act# they come !rom the !actory that $ay. +! you $ant to trigger his
emotions# and literally make him &ump up and do$n $ith desire !or you#
then you need to hit him in a $ay $hich leads to maximum impact.
7ust imagine ho$ odd everything $ould "e# i! a man $alked up to you#
introduced himsel!# and then said I 5ook# + !ind you to "e really attractive#
@1
can $e please get together and have sex no$:
)ounds $eird right:
-urthermore# let=s assume that you say yes# and things go really $ell !or
the !irst !e$ dates. You share some incredi"le nights o! passion# and can=t
have enough o! each other. 2ut a!ter a $hile# he starts giving you that
dreaded average treatment# and "e!ore you kno$ it# he is trying to
capture the attention o! some other girl.
1hy: 1ell simply "ecause once the animal inside him has "een satis!ied#
it seeks more adventure and that $on=t come !rom you# it $ill come !rom
another !emale.
2ut no$# let=s change the se8uence a little "it and let=s say this man
approaches you# and introduces himsel!. (ven i! you like him a lot# you still
hold your ground# and don=t &ump into the $ater yet. You !irst test to see
ho$ cold the $ater is# and then you take your time "e!ore you take the
plunge.
1hat happens $hen you operate this $ay:
%he same man $ill $ork t$ice as hard to keep your attention# and $ill
value you a lot more than usual. And here is the "iggest "ene!it I )ince
you didn=t give him complete access to yoursel!# or your li!e easily# he is
going to cherish and value every "it o! it.
+n a $ay# he $ill come to study you in depth# and $ill get to kno$ you in a
deeper and more pro!ound $ay. )o it=s a $in>$in situation.
@'
5ike it or hate it# $hen $e are handed something on a silver platter# $e
never value it. 2ut i! $e have to $ork !or it# $e tend to protect it and
value it# as i! our li!e depends on it. %hat=s &ust human nature# and no one
can change it. 1hich "rings me to the third most important point a"out#
ho$ strong your "oundaries are.
Do you kno$ that men $ill randomly test you !rom time to time# to see
ho$ !ar you=re $illing to "end: %hey "asically do this to test your
"oundaries# and see ho$ strong or $eak they are. +! a guy esta"lishes
that you have $eak "oundaries# not only $ill he push you into doing
uncom!orta"le things# "ut at the same time# he $on=t value you
$hatsoever.
+! you=ve ever !ound yoursel! doing something that you didn=t agree $ith
around a man# &ust "ecause you !elt that doing such an act $ould please
him# then you $ere in a situation $here your "oundaries $ere "eing
tested# and i! you gave in# then you indirectly told him that you have $eak
"oundaries# and he is !ree to indirectly push you around $henever he
pleases.
+t "asically telling him# $hat you $ill accept# vs. $hat you $ill re&ect. And
no$# +=ll let you into a "ig secret# every guy secretly $ishes to commit to a
$oman $ho has very strong "oundaries.
1hy: 2ecause it all goes "ack# to the value concept. 1e=ve already
discussed that every human "eing $ants a high 8uality partner# $hen they
consider a long term relationship# and one o! the most important !actors in
that scheme o! things is the ;current value< o! the partner they select.
Suality "asically depends upon# ho$ this person tackles themselves# and
$here they currently stand on the value system. +! a person has strong
"oundaries# it means they !ul!ill all the core re8uirements o! a good
@4
relationship# $hich are > )ecurity# trust and emotional independence.
1hen someone has strong "oundaries# you !eel a lot more secure in their
company# "ecause they=re less likely to do anything# $hich $ould cause
you emotional damage over the long term# like in!idelity.
+t=s easy to put your trust in someone $ith strong "oundaries# "ecause
you kno$ that they $ill protect you emotionally# and $ill not do anything
$hich $ill hurt or harm you.
?lus# the most important thing is that you !eel emotionally independent
$ith someone $ith strong "oundaries# "ecause you kno$ that since this
person has strong "oundaries# they aren=t going to "urden you $ith
pressing decisions. Moreover they $ill "e strong enough to maintain a
good level o! independence# $hen it comes to taking care o! their o$n li!e.
)o in short# $hen you meet the 4 re8uirements# you $ill demonstrate that
you are someone $ho is high 8uality# and in return# your man $ill a$ard
you $ith e8ual or more amount o! respect and attention that you truly
deserve.
2y no$# you should have a pretty good idea on $hat value really means
and ho$ you can demonstrate higher value every single time around a
man# and get the treatment you truly deserve !rom him. 2ut# there are still
a !e$ more important steps to "e kept in mind.
%he !irst one $hich comes to mind is this # Treat this as a necessit,1
not an o3tion.
1hat you learned so !ar# should "e treated as a"solute necessity# and not
@6
an option. You can=t keep a guy attracted to you# i! he doesn=t value you.
Attraction doesn=t last long# "ut i! you can make a man respect and value
you# it $ould last a li!etime.
You see# $hen you treat yoursel! $ell# make him $ork a little to capture
you# and maintain a healthy level o! "oundaries# you turn yoursel! into the
ultimate dream girl every guy hopes to marry someday.
0ur culture has revolved around the idea o! "eing accepted or "eing liked.
Most $omen gro$ up# and are taught# that there is a prince charming
some$here# that $ill magically appear in their li!e one day# and $ill s$eep
them o!! their !eet.
)o# some$here do$n the line# $omen start treating themselves poorly#
and !ocus completely on the man and pleasing him "ecomes their core
target. 2ut you see# $hat $e think should $ork# actually doesn=t $ork in
reality.
1hen you try to please someone# you only appear needy or desperate.
2ut $hen you keep your needs in mind !irst# hold your position# and let
him come to you# he is automatically pleased. +sn=t that !unny:
Alright# no$ $e=ve discussed a lot o! theory and + hope you have properly
internaliBed the concepts shared thus !ar. ext# $e are entering the most
interesting part o! this course so !ar. +=ll reveal the !ormulas and emotional
tune up methods next. +! you=re ready# let=s move to the next section9

@@

Section " The 9orm)las Revealed: +motional
T)ne A3 @ethods.
%his section is going to "e the most exciting o! the $hole program#
"ecause this is $here you=re going to learn all the tricks# tactics and
techni8ues to tune up any man=s emotional intensity !or you# and make
him $ant# desire and need you more than ever "e!ore.
)o $ithout any more "la""er# let=s &ust into the !irst !ormula9
The intrig)e aro)sal method #
Have you heard the story o! a ?ersian king and his un!aith!ul $i!e:
%here $as a ?ersian king $hose $i!e cheated on him. %he moment he
discovered this# he couldn=t control his anger and out o! utter "itterness
and grie!# he had her executed.
+n !act# that $asn=t enough !or himL at that point he decided that all
$omen are the same# so he made it a ha"it to marry a ne$ "ride each
night# and used to have her killed "y the morning. +t=s very extreme +
kno$.
2ut# everything $as a"out to change $ith this one particular "ride. His
ne$ "ride $as a clever girl# and she devised a great plan to protect hersel!
!rom the king=s assault. )he used to tell the king very intriguing things
@A
each night and indirectly did something that !orced the king to postpone
her killing to the next day.
)he did this every night and survived 1GG1 nights. 2y the end o! it# the
king $as so in love $ith her and so mesmeriBed# that he made her his
o!!icial Sueen and they had 4 kids together.
+ kno$ this example is a little extreme# "ut the point + am trying to make
is that this psychological !ormula has existed since the "eginning o!
mankind# and can "e used "y any $oman in any situation to mesmeriBe
any man at $ill.
+nspired "y this story# + did !urther research and developed a uni8ue
system + no$ call I %he intrigue arousal method.
2e!ore sho$ing you the !ormula# +=d like explain more# on $hy men
a"solutely need to chase a $oman. You already kno$ that men are
genetically $ired to pursue a $oman and it=s almost like a natural need !or
them right:
2ut# do you kno$ that he also gets tremendous pleasure out o! that act#
and it almost has an addictive e!!ect on him: You see# $hen a man is in
pursuit mode and is actively chasing you# he gets to experience the same
adrenaline rush and surge o! emotions# $hich he experiences $hen
gam"ling at a casino.
%he thrill o! not kno$ing $hether he is going to $in or lose# keeps him on
his toes# and he can=t seem to stop even $hen he is losing a "oat load o!
cash. 1hen you intrigue him the right $ay# you can have this same
addictive e!!ect on him# and a!ter a $hile# you=ll realiBe that he is chasing
you like craBy.
@C
)o# ho$ does this !ormula $ork: 1ell# the process is really simple and
involves 4 steps I
Ste3 1 I )ay something intriguing.
Ste3 2 I %ell him a little "it and hold the rest.
Ste3 ! I Change the su"&ect and leave him hanging.
Here is ho$ it $orks in practice > let=s say you=ve "een casually going out
$ith a man# $here# things aren=t that light# "ut also not that serious yet.
You do !eel something !or him# and $ould love to keep the energy high
"et$een yoursel! and him.
2ut# ho$ can you do it: 1ell# this is $here my intrigue arousal method $ill
do $onders. 1hen you are speaking to him# casually say something like I
;You kno$# + noticed something good in you# "ut also something "ad.<
He $ill instantly "e interested# and $ould ask you to tell him "oth# the
good and the "ad and# this is $here the second step comes in. +nstead o!
telling him everything# you must hold yoursel! and only tell him a little.
Here is $hat you could say I ;1ell# the good thing a"out you is that# you
aren=t like other guys# you are almost a "reath o! !resh air# "ut then# you
also "ring something "ad to the ta"le<
He $ill o"viously ask you to tell him the rest# "ut this is $here the 4
rd
step
comes in# instead o! &ust straight out telling him the "ad aspect o! him#
you should rather say I ;You kno$N +=ll let you kno$ $hen the right time
@D
comes# the time isn=t right !or this conversation.<
And then# change the su"&ect. 2y changing the su"&ect# and leaving the
story in "et$een# you have s$itched on a strong sense o! curiosity $ithin
his mind# and no$ he $ill !eel strong "utter!lies in his stomach to kno$
the rest.
Can you !eel the po$er in this: ot only $ill he !orce# urge and even
repetitively ask you to share the rest $ith him# "ut he $ill also "e driven
a"solutely $ild $ith curiosity a"out you.
o$# let me explain $hy this $orks so $ell. As humans $e al$ays seek
closure $ith everything $e do# since $e can=t stand incomplete things. )o
once $e are told something incomplete# our minds go into an overdrive
mode to get the rest o! the story as !ast as possi"le.
)o "y using this !ormula you $ill appear extra !ascinating to him# "ecause
you indirectly triggered !eelings o! excitement# and positive expectation in
his mind. ?lus# here are the ' "iggest "ene!its you are going to en&oy once
you use this techni8ue9
Big benefit <1 4o) are giving him -hat he needs the most
The thrill of chase5
As you already kno$ that men are genetically $ired to pursue# and
a"solutely love to chase as long as they get a suita"le target. 2y using this
techni8ue# you a$aken the pursuer inside him# and trigger all the !eelings
$hich keep him on his toes.
%he "est part is that# other $omen can=t do this. )o you automatically turn
@F
into this one special $oman# $ho he &ust can=t stop thinking a"out# and
can=t keep out o! his head. +n other $ords# you=ll position yoursel! on a
much higher level in comparison to every other $oman out there.
Big benefit <2 4o) -ill a33ear to be a lot more attractive5
0kay# "e!ore you take this the $rong $ayL +=m in no shape or !orm saying
that you aren=t attractive. All + am really pointing out is that# $hen you use
this process# you $ill "ring a lot more to the ta"le than &ust physical looks#
"ecause# you $ill automatically appear to "e a hundred times more
attractive to him.
o longer $ill you "e stuck $ith those old# "oring and sometimes laBy
conversations. o longer $ill you !eel con!used a"out $hether you=re
saying the right thing# or not. And the "est part is this I You $on=t have to
make any attempts to impress or $oo him# it $ill all happen automatically#
once you put this !ormula into action.

The moving target method #
Men like to "e and !eel in control. Ho$ever# $hen they are sho$n that
may"e they don=t control something completelyL it makes them try really
hard# to get control o! that thing as !ast as possi"le.
)o $hat am + talking a"out here: 1ell# +=m talking a"out giving him access
to you or your li!e. +! you give up all the goods# and give him complete
access to your li!e# he might not "e that interested a!ter a $hile.
Ho$ever# i! you sho$ him that you=re a moving target# and he does have a
little "it o! you "ut doesn=t have complete control over you# it $ill keep him
AG
in the pursuit mode# and you $ill automatically "e seen as this $oman he
&ust can=t let go.
)o# the moving target method is exactly as the name suggests. You act
like a moving target# and con!use the hell out o! him.
Men $ant to compete and they $ant to $in. 1hy do you think so many
guys go to a gym and $ork extremely hard to "uild muscles: 1hy do they
dream to make a lot o! money# and desire to do "ig things:
1ell# they do it "ecause in their mind they "elieve# that i! they can have
those things# then they $ould have enough proo! to sho$ everyone else
that they=re $orth something# and that they=re high 8uality. Most o! all#
they $ant this approval !rom the opposite sex.
Here is ho$ a man=s mind $orks I +! your company makes him !eel a
$eird sense o! tension in his mind# his level o! interest in you $ill "e high
at all times. %he tension +=m re!erring to is the tension $here he doesn=t
exactly kno$# i! he completely has you or not.
+ learned this trick "ecause + personally experienced it mysel! many years
ago. %here $as a girl in my li!e $ho used this very trick on me# and made
me chase her around like craBy# even though# + $asn=t the kind $ho used
to chase.
You see# on some days she $ould talk to me !or hours on the phone# and
sho$er me $ith a lot o! attention# $hile the very next day she $ould act
completely dry and very "usy.
)he did the same thing $hen $e $ould go out as $ell# on certain days she
A1
sho$ed a lot o! interest in me and gave me the impression that she is
really into me# $hile on other days she acted so cold that it seemed like
she $asn=t into me at all.
Honestly speaking# this drove me a"solutely nuts# and + &ust couldn=t keep
her out o! my mind. (very time + !elt like + captured her# she $ould do
something $hich sho$ed me that +=m still miles a$ay !rom my target. +n
other $ords# she $as a moving target.
%his is exactly $hat you need to do as $ell# "ecause $hen you act like a
moving target# your man $on=t kno$ i! he has you or not. %his $ill
indirectly make him $ork really hard to $in your love.
Here is ho$ the process $orks I
Ste3 1 Cive him a lot of attention at first.
Ste3 2 Do the e0act o33osite of ste3 1.
Yes# this is all there is to it. At !irst you give him a lot o! attention and a!ter
a $hile# you must implement step ' and do the exact opposite o! step 1#
$hich is to act aloo! and even a little disinterested.
1hen you don=t !ollo$ a set pattern# and sho$ some interest and
$ithdra$ later# it $ill do ' really good things !or you9
1# *t -ill conf)se him
A'
Yes# it $ill con!use him a lot and that is very good. 1hy am + saying that
it=s good: 1ell# it=s good "ecause as long as a man can=t !igure you or your
actions# his interest in you $ill remain sky high.
You $ill o"serve# that the primary reason $hy most men get disinterested
in the same $oman they used to love dearly# is "ecause# she $as a little
too predicta"le and there $as nothing exciting le!t in the relationship. )o it
"ecomes all the more important to use this process.
2 ;e -ill feel li/e ,o)>re r)nning a-a, from him
1hat is the common human reaction $hen $e kno$ that someone is
trying to run a$ay !rom us: 1e naturally try to make them like us# even i!
it means trying everything in our po$er to convince them.
)omething similar happens in a man=s $orld# $hen you act hot and cold.
-irst he $ill try to !igure out $hy you=re acting hot and cold# "ut $hen he
can=t put a !inger on $hy you=re doing it# you $ill $itness him going that
extra mile to ensure that you don=t run a$ay !rom him. %his all sounds a
little $eird# "ut the interesting part is that it $orks. May"e# a little too
$ell.

The mo)se and cheese method5
%his method applies "asically to relationship situations# although# it can
$ork during the early dating phases as $ell# in certain situations.
A!ter reading the title# you must "e $ondering# $hy am + calling it the
mouse and cheese method. 1ell# + call it that "ecause the point +=m a"out
A4
to make very closely relates to ho$ to a mouse goes a!ter cheese.
During various situations in a relationship# you are going to encounter
many ups and do$nsL some o! those do$ns $ill involve your man
completely $ithdra$ing !rom you# $ithout any rhyme or reason.
%hese are the times $hen you can use the mouse and cheese method to
your advantage. You see# $hen a man $ithdra$s# most $omen !reak out
and push themselves to$ards the man to stop him !rom $ithdra$ing.
1hat happens $hen a $oman does this: 1ell# it makes the man $ithdra$
even !urther# and things get a lot more complicated. You see# think o! it
like !eeding a mouse some cheese# $hen the mouse has eaten enough
cheese# his stomach is !ull and he isn=t in need o! any more cheese.
Ho$ever# no matter $hat amount o! cheese you keep in !ront o! him no$#
he isn=t going to eat and you can=t !orce it do$n his mouth either# as he
$ill &ust run a$ay.
)o# the secret is to dangle the cheese in !ront o! his !ace# and $ait !or him
to get hungry again. ?lus# here is the t$ist I +nstead o! &ust o!!ering the
cheese to him $hen he is ready to eat# you pull it "ack a little and make
the mouse travel a little longer to get to it.
)imilarly# $hen you are dealing $ith a man $ho is trying to $ithdra$#
instead o! chasing a!ter him# you should hold your ground and even move
a !e$ steps "ack. %hen# you must $ait !or him to "e hungry once again
and let him come to you.
Here is ho$ the process $orks9
A6
Ste3 1 =hen he -ithdra-s1 hold ,o)r gro)nd instead of chasing
him.
Ste3 2 Dangle the cheese in front of him and -ait for him to be
h)ngr, again.
Ste3 ! =hen he ret)rns sho- him -hat he -as missing.
+ hope you already understand the !irst step since $e=ve discussed that in
detail and also the second step# that instead o! chasing a!ter him# you
should hold your ground and $ait !or him to come "ack to you.
)o no$# let me explain the 4
rd
step. 0nce you=ve held your ground and
dangled the cheese in !ront o! him# eventually he $ill "e hungry again#
and $ill come !or the cheese. %his is the time $hen you must sho$ him
$hat he $as missing out on# rather than making him !eel guilty !or leaving
in the !irst place.
You see# $hen a man $ithdra$s# you o"viously !eel a lot o! pain and
heartache. A common and usual response !or most $omen is to sho$ the
man ho$ much he hurt them# "y $ithdra$ing. )o most $omen $ould
argue# 8uestion# or "lame the guy !or having $ithdra$n in the !irst place.
%his is a very common and in !act a very costly mistake. 1hy you ask:
1ell simply "ecause $hen the guy le!t you# he $as pro"a"ly !eeling
emotionally over$helmed# and in order to come "ack to a position o!
neutrality# he took some space.
2ut# $hen you attack him on return# you are indirectly over$helming him
again# and in his mind he $ill think that it $as right !or him to take space
and $ithdra$. +n !act# you $ill $itness that he $ithdra$s more and more
A@
$ith time i! you operate this $ay around him.
%his is $hy instead o! !ighting against it# you should act completely calm#
and "e very $elcoming $hen he comes "ack. + kno$ this sounds very
strange# "ut do you kno$ that men are desperately in need o! someone
$ho $ould understand their needs# and $ould cater to it the right $ay:
You see# $hen you act completely calm# you indirectly let him kno$ that
you care !or his needs and aren=t going to "lame him !or anything. +n
other $ords# you end up creating a very positive experience on return#
$hich $ill make him !eel a lot more com!orta"le# and a lot more connected
to you in the long run.
1hen you operate this $ay# you $ill o"serve that over time# your man is
not $ithdra$ing like he used to in the past.
The )nconditional res3ect method
%his one has al$ays "een a di!!icult su"&ect# to explain the right $ay.
?artly "ecause# many $omen do not accept the concept o! unconditional
respect. %hat=s usually "ecauseL they "elieve their man doesn=t deserve it.
1ell# "e!ore you leap to any conclusions o! your o$n# let me explain $hy +
call this method the unconditional respect method.
+ don=t kno$ i! you are already a$are# "ut to a man# respect is the single
most important thing. -ar more important than# "eing liked or loved. +!
given a choice "et$een "eing loved and "eing respected# a man $ould
choose "eing respected every single time.
(very man has a very strong inner desire to "e respected# and
AA
ackno$ledged "y a $oman. 2ecause# the moment he recogniBes that you
ackno$ledge his e!!orts# and respect him# he $ill respond $ith love in
return.
1hen a man !eels disrespected# his attraction# attention and desire !or you
$ill tank. Ho$ever# the odd part is that a man# $ill never make this
o"vious to you "y ver"aliBing the !act that he is !eeling disrespected#
rather# he $ill &ust $ithdra$.
)o ho$ can you even kno$ $hen a man is !eeling disrespected: 1ell# this
is a tricky one# "ut there are certain things $omen do $hich make a man
!eel disrespected# things like9
>%rying to prove him $rong "y arguing a point.
>-inding !la$s in him.
>agging him !or something he didn=t do.
>?ointing out $hat he lacks either kno$ingly or unkno$ingly.
>Comparing him $ith other men.
%hese things usually happen "ecause some $omen are &ust too !ocused
on a man=s actions# rather than $ho he truly is. You see# a man doesn=t
$ant you to praise his actions aloneL he $ants you to appreciate and
respect him as a man.
2ecause# i! you can sho$ or prove to him that you respect him
unconditionally# he $ill sho$er you $ith so much love and attention# that
you $on=t "e a"le to handle it.
)o ho$ do you do it and sho$ him unconditional respect: Here is the
AC
process9
Ste3 1 Cive him verbal 3roof.
Ste3 2 Cive him 3h,sical 3roof.
Ste3 ! Re3eat the 3rocess from time to time.

)o $hat do + mean $hen + say ver"al proo!: 1ell# it means $hat it says I
You "asically have to ver"ally say something# $hich makes your man !eel
that he is respected. +t could "e something as small as I ;Honey# + really
appreciate you as a person# +=m glad to have you in my li!e<.
Most $omen don=t kno$ this# "ut even this much# $ill do $onders !or your
relationship. %he second step is to give him physical proo!. %his could
mean giving him a gentle hug or a kiss# $hen he does something help!ul
!or you.
You see# $hen you give ver"al and physical !eed"ack# you are indirectly
training him to do more nice things !or you# $hich "rings me# to the !inal
step $hich is I Repeat this !rom time to time.
+=d rather say# do something or say something $hich makes your man !eel
that you respect him almost daily# and then see ho$ his level o! desire !or
you soars.

*nstinct trigger method
AD
Do you "elieve that men really have "ig egos: A lot o! $omen come to
me# and tell me that their hus"and or "oy!riend has such a "ig ego# that
it=s &ust impossi"le !or them to $in.
And# "e!ore they even tell me the rest# + stop them right there and tell
them something very simple I 1hy are you even trying to $in: A
relationship isn=t supposed to "e a "attle# and you should never ever
compete $ith a man. You kno$ $hy: 2ecause# even i! you do end up
$inning# you $ould lose in the long run.
You see# men $ere "orn to "e protectors# and caretakers o! their !amily.
1hen you take him out o! that role# and try to put yoursel! in that role# he
$ill see it as a huge pro"lem.
%here is a very easy solution !or this I Men have a natural instinct to
protect the $oman they love. %hey come $ith all these tools already per>
installed in their heads. )o as a $oman# all you really need to do is to !lip
a s$itch# and a$aken this protector instinct in his head.
2ut no$# the "ig 8uestion is I Ho$ do you do it:
1ell# men respond emotionally $hen a $oman displays the !eminine side
o! hersel!# in other $ords# $hen you expose the so!ter side o! you# he $ill
automatically assume the role o! a protector# and $ill do anything in his
po$er to help you.
A $oman once came to me $ith a very common issue# her "oy!riend
never used to spend enough time $ith her. )he tried talking to him "ut it
seemed like $hatever she said# $as going over his head. As she started to
gro$ more and more resent!ul "ecause o! her "oy!riend=s actions# she
turned "itter and started arguing $ith him.
AF
%his happened !or 8uite some time# "e!ore she !inally approached me
trying to seek a solution. + could clearly see $hat the pro"lem $as. +
explained to her# that there $as no possi"le $ay she could !orce or push
her "oy!riend# into spending more time $ith her# ho$ever# this is exactly
$hat she $as doing all this time.
%he "iggest mistake $as arguing $ith him# "ecause# the moment a
$oman does that# she is indirectly trying to compete $ith her man# and as
$e=ve already esta"lished > you should never ever try to compete $ith a
man# as it $ill only $ork against you in the long term.
)o next# + gave her a very simple solution# + asked her to appeal to his
protector instincts "y "eing more !eminine. + gave her a simple line and
asked her to say it to her "oy!riend that evening.
Here is $hat she said I ;+ understand that you $ork really hard due to
$hich# you can=t spend enough time $ith me# "ut + &ust $ant you to kno$
that you make me !eel really sa!e and loved# $hen you=re around me.<
And then she learned !or$ard# and gave him a tight hug.
)o# $hat do you think happened next: He instantly assured her# that he
$ould do his "est# to ensure he leaves a little early !rom $ork# to spend
time $ith her. ?lus# sure enough that=s exactly $hat he started to do# !rom
the very next day.
Ho$ could something so simple# $ork so $ell:
1ell# this $orked "ecause my client triggered the protector instinct already
present $ithin her man. +n !act# you can see examples o! this all around
CG
you.
Have you ever "een in a situation $here a $oman $as carrying many
shopping "ags# and $as struggling# $hen suddenly# a random man
approached her o!!ering to carry it !or her:
1hy is he doing that: 1hy don=t other $omen come to the rescue and
o!!er to help as much as men do: 1ell# simply "ecause# men already have
this present inside them# and it=s impossi"le to take this out o! them.
%here!ore# the good ne$s is that you can use this protective instinct they
already have# to your advantage.
+=m sure you are $ell a$are o! the masculine and !eminine avatars. +n
short# men instinctively react emotionally# $hen a !emale displays certain
!eminine traits. %he process on ho$ to do this might sound a little $eird
ho$ever# it does $ork really $ell.
+n order to appeal to his protective instinct# there are only ' things you
need to do9
1# 8)t him in the 3osition of a 3rotector.
2# Re-ard him -ith follo- )3 3raise.
Men secretly !antasiBe a"out "eing your hero# and trust me on this#
"ecause +=m not making this up. 1e all secretly $ant to "e praised# liked#
and $ell respected "y $omen. 1e $ould go completely craBy and do even
stupid things# as long as you tell us that it makes you !eel good.
C1
2ut $hy $ould any guy in his right mind# do stupid things: 1ell# he does it
"ecause in return# it makes him !eel good as $ell. %here!ore# it=s a $in>$in
situation.
2ut# ho$ do you put him in the position o! a protector: You do it "y asking
him to guide or help you $ith something. Men are natural !ixers# and !eel
a sense o! po$er $hen they are asked !or their guidance and support.
+t could "e something as simple as asking him to help you $ith a certain
issue# and actively listening to his !eed"ack# and even acting on it.
%hen comes the all important step# num"er t$o. ext# you ver"ally or
non>ver"ally thank him !or his support. +t could "e something as simple as
saying thank you and letting him kno$ ho$ much you appreciate it# or
gently touching his hand# giving him a hug or even a peck on the cheek.
As long as he is getting active !eed"ack that his action produced great
results !or you# he is going to !eel a"solutely amaBing# and $ill
su"consciously do more things to please you over time.
Alright# you discovered 8uite a !e$ !ormulas in this section. 2ut# ho$ can
you kno$ exactly ho$ to use one# or a mix o! these !ormulas# the right
$ay in your li!e: + mean# there is a very good possi"ility that you might
over>do it.
%his is $hy# you must kno$ a"out the s$eet spot o! desire# and its
signi!icance. Move to the next section and let=s get right to it9
C'
Section $ ;o- To ;it The S-eet S3ot Of
Desire.
+=m going to start this section $ith a little rant# a rant a"out popular
magaBines# and %v sho$s. Honestly# + "elieve they spread useless advice.
%he issue is that# since these magaBines# and %, sho$s have a huge !an
"ase# they still get more than enough eye "alls. 1hen you have enough
readers or vie$ers# it=s automatically assumed# that the message "eing
"roadcast# must "e true.
%he most a$!ul advice +=ve ever come across is this I Dress $ell# get your
li!e in order# and present your "est sel! to a man. +! things $ork out $ell#
you may live happily ever a!ter and i! it doesn=t $ork out# then don=t "lame
yoursel!# it $as the man=s !ault any$ay.
0ne o! my clients $as a huge !an o! popular %, sho$s# and used to
literally !ollo$ the advice these sho$s gave to the %. Ho$ever# every single
time she used this advice# she used to !ind hersel! struggling $ith the
same 8uestion that# millions o! other $omen $ho $atch these %, sho$s
struggle $ith as $ell and that is I + did everything properly# so $hy don=t +
have the result + $anted:
%his client o! mine $as actively looking !or a potential partner# and used to
go on $eekly dates. )he $as meeting a ne$ man almost every $eek# "ut
since she $as !ollo$ing popular advice# she $as rather using these dates
as a testing ground# to put all the advice into action.
C4
-urthermore# this is $here she told me a"out# all her !rustrating
experiences. )he learned !rom a popular %, sho$# that in order to keep a
man interested "eyond the !irst date# you should hold "ack a little# and not
sho$ too much interest early on. 1ell# she did that $ith a !e$ guys# "ut
none o! them $ere interested in a second date $ith her.
%he other piece o! advice she received# $as that i! you dress $ell enough#
put your "est !oot !or$ard# and let your true inner sel! shine someho$# it
$ill automatically impress the guy# and he $ill start liking you. 2ut once
again# she did all this and a lot more# and still no luck.
+n !act# this is the all too common story o! millions o! $omen# across the
$orld. %here are only t$o "asic pieces o! advice they usually receive !rom
these so called %, sho$s# the !irst one is I You must try to impress the
guy "y "eing yoursel!# and he $ill magically start to like you.
And the other piece o! advice is I You should never ever chase a guy# and
let him chase you.
+=m in strong disagreement $ith the !irst part# "ut slightly agree $ith the
second. Ho$ever# there is a still a huge part missing.
1hat +=m going to share $ith you today is the missing !actor# and $ill help
you link all the pieces o! the puBBle together. -rom this point on# you=ll
!inally understand exactly ho$ attraction $orks in a man=s $orld.
My client actually made a mistake# and she had no clue $hat she $as
doing. You see# the issue $asn=t that the men she $as going out $ith
didn=t like her# and didn=t $ant another date $ith her. +n !act# they $ould
have loved to take her out againL "ut the issue $as that she made it all#
really hard !or hersel!.
C6
Ho$: You ask.
1ell# she did everything in extremes# in other $ords# $hen she decided
that she $as going to take it easy# and not sho$ a lot o! interest early on#
it pro"a"ly made the man !eel# that may"e she isn=t really interested in
him. )o conse8uently# he didn=t make any e!!orts !rom his end either.
And# in the other case# $hen she tried to impress the guy# it made the
man !eel that she $as coming on a little too strong# $hich made him "ack
o!! a little.
7ust playing it cool or acting uninterested isn=t enough# at the same time
trying to impress him# isn=t enough either. You need to hit the s$eet spot
o! desire in his mind.
%he s$eet spot is the place# $here a man !eels &ust the right amount o!
attraction !or you# $hich keeps him interested in you.
+=m sure you kno$ that !eeling $here# you have an intuitive kno$ing# that
everything is right and it=s a good idea to progress things to the next level:
+t=s that inner kno$ing $here you someho$ kno$# that the !irst date could
turn into many more $onder!ul dates# and you !eel a slight inner urge to
go out $ith this person again.
%his is ho$ a guy $ould !eel around you# $hen you have hit his s$eet
spot o! desire. 5et me "reak it do$n even more !or you no$# and explain
the !ormula in detail. %here are "asically t$o main points to keep in
mind9
C@
1 *f ,o) sho- too m)ch interest1 ,o) -ill come across as need,.
2 *f ,o) act too distant and )ninterested1 then he -ill feel a
little over-helmed1 and -on>t bother to 3)rs)e ,o).
2oth the points are e8ually important# "ecause usually $omen mess up
$ith one or "oth. )ho$ing too much interest in a guy# $ill o"viously make
him see you as needy# "ut sho$ing little to no interest is not right either#
as it $ill make him !eel that you are "eyond his reach# thus# he $on=t try
at all.
o one really discusses this point# "ecause many don=t really understand
this. %he amount o! interest you sho$ in a guy has to "e &ust right# $hich
$ill give him the indication that you=re interested and at the same time#
gives him the indication that he might have to pursue you a little# to !inally
attain you.
2ut the key$ord again is ;a little< and not ;a lot<. 2ecause i! you pull "ack
too much and play really hard to get# then he $ill !eel over$helmed and
not "other to pursue you at all.
)o in a nutshell# you need to maintain a good level o! "alance "et$een
pushing him and pulling him to$ards you. +t is the same as eating your
!avorite kind o! ice cream. +! you eat too little# you $ill still crave more#
ho$ever# i! you eat a lot then you $ill !ind yoursel! !eeling a little too !ull.
%he key is to eat &ust the right amount# $hich satis!ies your taste "uds#
and at the same time doesn=t over$helm you. )imilarly# $ith any man# you
need to sho$ the right amount o! interest# and mix it up $ith the right
amount o! disinterest. 1hen you get it right# you $ill hit his s$eet spot o!
desire and things $ill "ecome much easier !rom that point.
CA
)ince $e have covered the techni8ues and core concepts# let=s "ranch out
into di!!erent concepts. +n the next section# you $ill discover the easiest
and the per!ect method# to read any man=s mind almost instantly.

CC
Section % ;o- To Read ;is @ind.
Cheryl asks her "oy!riend I ;Do you love me:<
0! course honey# $hy $ould you think other$ise: He replied.
;0hN + didn=t mean to dou"t youL it=s &ust that sometimes# + don=t !eel
loved. May"e it=s &ust me# + don=t kno$. ;
And then she goes online# and "egins to search things like I ;Ho$ to kno$
i! your man loves you<# ;Does he love me<# ;Ho$ to kno$ i! a man loves
you:<
A!ter a !e$ hours o! intensive searching# she still didn=t get a good enough
ans$er. )o next# she gets on the phone $ith one o! her girl!riends# and
pours out all her thoughts and !eelings a"out her "oy!riend# only to !ind
out# that it=s "een several hours# and she is still s$imming in the pool o!
con!usion.
;Men aren=t ver"al as much as $omen are# you can never kno$ $hat=s
going on in his mind# men &ust can=t "e open< I %hese are only a !e$ o!
the things# + hear !rom $omen# on a daily "asis.
1ell# there is some truth to it# so > Yes# it=s not easy !or a man to open up#
yes he might never talk in clear terms# and tell you exactly ho$ he is
!eeling# "ut as a $oman you can de!initely !igure out it $ithout any hard
$ork as long as you kno$ ho$ to read his mind.
CD
1hy am + saying that you $on=t have to $ork hard: 1ell# "ecause you
$ouldn=t. %he process +=ll share cuts your $ork "y almost hal! and
sometimes even more.
2ut "e!ore + &ump into ho$ it all $orks# + need to explain 4 really
important reasons $hy you a"solutely need to learn this# and $hat you
$ill gain in the long run9
Reason <1 4o) -ill be able to tell -hen he is l,ing
o$# is this a "ig one or $hat: Ho$ o!ten have you !ound yoursel!
struggling to !igure out $hether your man is really telling you the truth# or
is "eing his old sneaky sel!# and trying to lie to you:
+n addition# +=m not &ust re!erring to "ig lies# +=m also re!erring to the small
little ;harmless< lies that he tells you on a day to day "asis. You $ould "e
a"le to tell $ith almost crystal clarity# $hen he is making things up vs.
$hen he is actually "eing genuine.
%here is de!initely a "ig plus to this# "ut there is also something negative#
you might discover things a"out him that you pro"a"ly don=t like or even
disagree $ith. Ho$ever# in the "igger scheme o! things# it $ill all "ene!it
you.
Reason <2 4o) -ill /no- e0actl, -hat he needs or e03ects
from ,o) ever, single time
(ver had a situation $here you &ust couldn=t exactly decipher $hat your
man expected# or needed !rom you: Did you spend in!inite hours# asking
him over and over again# only to !eel !rustrated $hen he gave you mixed
CF
ans$ers or $orse# no ans$ers:
1ell# that $ill all completely end !or you today as you=ll no$ "e a"le to
!igure out his most secret $ishes and desires $ithout having to push him.
Reason <! 4o) -ill be able to fig)re it all o)t even if he sa,s
nothing to ,o)
o$# you might "e thinking I Alright# no$ this is getting to "e a little too
out there# and may"e even unrealistic. Ho$ is it possi"le to kno$ $hat a
man is thinking# $hen he $on=t tell you anything:
1ell# +=ll sho$ you ho$ to read "eyond his $ords. A!ter !ollo$ing this
process# you $ill !ind yoursel! in a situation# $here you $on=t need him to
talk or even tell you something# you $ill &ust intuitively kno$ exactly $hat
he is !eeling or going through.
1hat you $ill learn in this chapter# $ill sho$ you exactly ho$ to read a
guys mind# $ith near per!ect accuracy# every single time. + kno$ it=s a
pretty "old claim# "ut the process +=m a"out to descri"e $ill de!initely
exceed your expectations.
+ hope you=re excited# "ecause + de!initely am. )o# $hat is this !ormula#
and ho$ does it $ork:
+ call this !ormula the ;Reverse action test<. +n short# reverse action test
means that you $ill !irst look at a guy=s action# and then !ocus on $hat he
said. +! $hat he is saying doesn=t match $ith $hat he is doing# then he is
lying to you. ?lus# the truth is in his actions# not his $ords.
DG
)o# to go even more deep $ith this# there are "asically t$o levels o!
communication# the !irst is the ver"al# and the second is non>ver"al
communication. %he ver"al communication is sur!ace level# and the non>
ver"al is the underlying message $hich contains the truth.
Most $omen !ocus on ver"al communication# and !eel that i! a guy says
something# it must "e true. Ho$ever# then they also !ind themselves a
little con!used# $hen he does the exact opposite o! $hat he said he $ould
do. )o once again# the truth is in the non>ver"al communication.
%he secret is very simple# $hen a man says one thing and does something
completely di!!erent. His true intent is in his actions# $hich also means
that# the truth is in the actions.
Here is an interesting story $hich illustrates this exact point9
;1hy $ere you !lirting $ith her:< Asked )ally.
;+ $asn=t !lirting honey# + $as &ust having a !un chat $ith her# that=s all.<
)aid# Andre$.
;You $ere de!initely !lirting# + could clearly see you doing it<. (xclaimed
)ally# !eeling very agitated.
Andre$# came a little close to )ally and said I ;5isten# honey. You are my
$omanL you kno$ that + love you right:< )he hesitantly looked at him and
said yes# + kno$.
2ut# something inside her $as still telling her# he $as lying. +t $as like she
D1
intuitively kne$L something $as o!! a"out $hat he $as saying. 2ut# she
couldn=t 8uite point out $hy she $as having these mixed !eelings.
A !e$ days passed "y# and she $as due to meet up $ith Andre$ !or
dinner. 1hile they $ere sitting at the ta"le# she $as trying to talk# $hile
Andre$ $as "usy playing around $ith his phone# and texting "ack and
!orth.
At !irst# sally tried to ignore this# "ut $hen it looked like Andre$ $as
paying more attention to his phone rather than her# she angrily asked him
I ;Did you come here on a date $ith me# or your phone: Can=t you &ust
put it o!! !or a minute: +=m trying to have a conversation here.<
;)ure# "a"e.< +=m sorry said Andre$.
He tried to speak to her !or a !e$ minutes# "ut again# picked up his phone#
and started texting "ack and !orth. ;1ho is it< I Asked )ally: 0h it=s no
one special# &ust this girl + met recently.
;You met a girl< asked )ally: ;Really: 1hich girl:<
;0h nothing special# 7ust a !riend.< )aid Andre$.
;7ust a !riend:< Asked )ally:
;YehN )he=s &ust a !riend 2a"e<# said Andre$.
;1ell# i! she=s &ust a !riend# $hy are you spending so much time on this
!riend. + "et this !riend must "e really special# isn=t it:< )aid )ally.
D'
;Ahh# are you dou"ting me again hun: You are the love o! my li!e# and +
shouldn=t have to prove it to you all the time. You should kno$ it "y no$<
said Andre$.
;1ell# you say you love me# "ut it doesn=t !eel like it to me# you keep
!lirting $ith other $omen# even $hen you claim to love me. ?lus# you are
going around meeting ne$ $omen all the time. 1hat should + make o!
this:< Asked )ally.
;1ell# don=t you have guy !riends: 7ust like you speak to your guy !riends#
$hy can=t + have other girls as !riends:< Asked Andre$.
;5ook Andre$# +=m !ine $ith this and you have as many !riends as you
$ant# girls or guys# + don=t care. 2ut this doesn=t look like a situation#
$here she=s &ust a !riend# ho$ many times have you met her# can + see
your phone:< Asked )ally.
;You are dou"ting me Hun aren=t you: +t looks like you don=t trust me.<
)aid Andre$.
-earing that the situation is a"out to get out o! control# )ally gained some
o! her composure "ack# and told Andre$ to drop the su"&ect altogether.
5ater that evening# he kept telling )ally ho$ much he loved her# and ho$
she $as the only girl in his li!e.
A!ter enough hard $ork# he convinced )ally once again# and as usual
things $ent "ack to ho$ they al$ays $ere.
o$# can you see the underlying message in this story:
D4
)ally=s intuition $as clearly telling her# that may"e Andre$ is cheating on
her# she even sa$ him !lirting $ith other girls# "ut &ust "ecause he kept on
saying that he loved her# she ignored everything else# and "elieved his
$ords.
%his $as a huge mistake# "ecause his actions $ere clearly telling a
di!!erent story. A man is telling you the truth only $hen his actions match
his $ords# to a very large degree. 1hen there is a con!lict "et$een his
$ords# and actions# then he is de!initely lying to you# and in order to kno$
the truth# &ust !ocus on his actions.
+n this story# the truth $as that Andre$ didn=t really love )ally. He $as
only saying it to keep her around# $hile he $ent out# and actively !lirted
$ith other $omen.
Have you ever !ound yoursel! in such a situation as $ell: 1ell# i! you have#
then al$ays make sure that you !ocus on a man=s actions# and not his
$ords. (ven $hen# his $ords appear to "e very convincing.
ever ever give a guy the "ene!it o! the dou"t# $hen his actions are going
east $hile his $ords are going in the $estern direction.
2ut no$ the other "ig 8uestion is I 1hat i! his actions are con!using too:
1hat i! he does one thing# and then does the complete opposite o! that
thing the next day: Here is a good example I
5et=s say you are dating a guy $ho clearly tells you that he doesn=t $ant a
relationship# and $ants to keep it all casual !or the time "eing. You spend
a lot o! great time $ith this person# and everything seems to "e $orking
!ine.
D6
2ut# there is one pro"lem. (ven though this guy isn=t your "oy!riend# he
someho$ acts like he is. He introduces you to his !amily# acts overly
protective o! you# is al$ays around $hen you need him# and makes it
appear like you are his girl!riend# "ecause he gets &ealous $hen you pay
attention to or talk to other guys.
Ho$ever# $hen you call him out on it# he completely changes his actions#
and takes a !e$ steps "ack. +n other $ords# he starts to act indi!!erent !or
a !e$ days# "ut eventually comes "ack to his normal routine# and makes
you !eel like you=re his girl!riend all over again.
1hat does one do in such a case: 1ell# i! you are dealing $ith such a
case# then you are dealing $ith $hat=s called a con!used man. You kno$#
sometimes men can=t make up their minds# and during such a situation#
they might say they $ant one thing# "ut later on realiBe that they $ant
something completely di!!erent.
%his is true in cases $here a man $anted things to remain casual !or the
!irst !e$ $eeks# "ut once he realiBes ho$ amaBing you are and ho$ much
!un he is having around you# he might unconsciously !eel the desire to
stay around you as much as possi"le# and this is $here he starts treating
you like a girl!riend.
2ut you see# this doesn=t mean you are his girl!riend. %his is $here the
con!using part# gets even more con!using. 7ust "ecause he treats you like
his girl!riend# doesn=t exactly mean# that you are his girl!riend. And# even i!
he treats you like one# he $ill struggle to make a ver"al commitment to it.
)o in such a case# you must go in the reverse order# $hich means you
D@
match his actions to his $ords. +! he is treating you like a girl!riend# "ut
never tells you that you are his girl!riend# then# "elieve $hat he is saying.
+ kno$ this sort o! goes completely against everything + taught you in this
section# "ut $hen a man clearly tells you that he doesn=t see a !uture $ith
you# or he isn=t ready !or a relationship right no$# the underlying message
is I ;+ am not ready !or a relationship $ith you right no$# doesn=t mean +
$on=t change my mind a"out it# "ut !or no$# this is ho$ things are going
to "e.<
o$ it=s time to discuss the !oundation o! male emotions vs. !emale
emotions. %he next section is going to clear a lot o! dou"ts you have
a"out men and their emotional $orld.

DA
Section & @en ;ave a Small +motion Tan/.
;1hy $on=t you tell me ho$ you really !eel a"out me: Do you love me: +!
you love me# ho$ much do you love me:<
Have you ever had a situation $here you asked your man an emotionally
charged 8uestion# and he struggled to ans$er: Have you ever had to
experience $hat + call > the one $ord horror# $here a man never gives you
details# "ut keeps ans$ering your 8uestions "y giving really $eird# one
$ord responses:
Moreover# did you !ind yoursel! getting more and more "othered# "ecause
he $ill never get into details and avoids an emotionally charged
conversation completely:
1hat=s going on here:
1hy do men do this# and are all men like this: 1ell# the truth can "e
!ound in ho$ men are designed. %here are 4 really important things you
need to kno$ a"out men9

Thing <1 @en have a smaller emotion tan/ in com3arison to
-omen.
(motion tank: 1hat the heck is an emotion tank# you must "e $ondering.
1ell# &ust like every car has a gas tank# every man has $hat + re!er to as
an emotion tank. %his is a place in his head $hich manages emotions# and
anything related to emotions.
DC
2ut# here is the interesting "it I $e all kno$ that the "igger the car# the
"igger the gas tank is going to "e. 2ut in the case o! a man# it=s extremely
small in comparison to a $oman. As a $oman > you have the capacity to
manage endless series# and varieties o! emotions# at any given point.
1hereas# a man can=t even come close to $hat a $oman is capa"le o!#
$hen it comes to handling emotionally charged situations. )o in a nutshell#
your emotion tank is at least 1GG times "igger than that o! a man=s.
%he !act is that# $e &ust come !rom the !actory this $ay and since $e only
have a very tiny emotion tank# $e struggle to deal $ith emotionally
charged 8uestions# and situations. Ho$ever# since you=re a !emale# you
can do a lot more# and a lot "etter than us.
)ince $e have a tiny tank# $e can=t manage anything even remotely close
to $hat you can manage and this should explain $hy# so many men are
emotionally closed o!!# avoid con!rontations# and don=t like giving details#
and pre!er to keep everything short and simple. 2ut there is another
pro"lem $ith this# $hich "rings me to thing num"er '.

Thing <2 @en )se s3ace as a tool to em3t, their tan/ -hen it>s
f)ll.
Have you ever seen a man running !or the hills# the moment# he !ears
emotional con!rontation $ith a $oman: 1hy is that: 1ell# in the $oman=s
$orld# $hen she is curious a"out something# she !eels a huge surge o!
emotions in her "ody that !orce her to seek more details or ans$ers !rom
a man.
2ut in the man=s $orld# a completely di!!erent set o! things is taking place.
DD
As you con!ront him# his tank o! emotions is over!lo$ing# and it=s getting
to a point $here he can=t handle it "ecause he doesn=t have the same
capacity as you do.
)o# to protect himsel! !rom any more over!lo$s# he pulls "ack# and takes
some space. %his is the only $ay !or him to empty his tank and "ring it
"ack to normal levels again.
%his is another reason $hy# you should al$ays let a man have his space
$hen he needs it# "ecause as long as his emotion tank is over!lo$ing# he
$ill remain agitated# uncom!orta"le and distur"ed around you. He needs
to empty this tank to come "ack to the com!ort mode# and this is $hy
space is really important to a man.
Another example $hich illustrates this very point is $hen a man is dealing
$ith a pressing issue at $ork. o matter ho$ many times or ho$ much
you ask him a"out it# he &ust $on=t discuss it $ith you# nor $ould he give
you any details.
1hy is that: 1ell# it=s really simple. 1hen he dealt $ith that issue# he had
to encounter a huge surge o! nasty emotions $hich have !illed up his tank
to its max capacity# and to a point $here it=s over!lo$ing again.
)o# the only $ay !or him to empty this tank is to either take space# or
distract himsel! "y $atching %, or doing some other activity around the
house. Men use distraction as a $ay to !ocus a$ay !rom the pro"lem#
"ecause as long as they !ocus on the pro"lem# they keep !eeling a heavy
!lo$ o! negative emotions $hich they can=t handle. )o their only hope is to
avoid it completely# and this "rings me to our 4
rd
thing9

Thing <! 7ever sto3 him -hen he needs s3ace.
DF
)pace is the same as oxygen in a man=s $orld. 1hen he is dro$ning in the
pool o! heavy emotions# he struggles to "reathe# and needs to escape as
!ast as possi"le. +n such a scenario# space is like oxygen to him and he
desperately needs it.
+! you distur" this process# or try to push him harder# $hen he is in a
desperate need !or space# then you $ill turn yoursel! into his enemy. He
might even start disliking you unconsciously.
)ounds too $eird right: 1ell &ust try to think o! it !rom his point o! vie$ I
5et=s say you don=t kno$ ho$ to s$im# and you are dro$ning in a
s$imming pool. 1hat=s the only thing you=re thinking a"out at that point:
You desperately need oxygen# that=s the only thought in your head. You
&ust $ant someone to drag you out o! the $ater# and help you "reathe
!reely again.
o$# imagine that $hile you are struggling to "reathe# a man comes over#
looks at you and asks you random 8uestions. Are you in a position to
ans$er: A"solutely not. )o# $hat do you expect !rom that person:
You expect that person to rescue you# and help you get out o! the pool as
!ast as possi"le. )imilarly# a man expects you to let him have his space#
$hen he is dro$ning in the pool o! emotions. He needs space to !inally
!eel at ease# and i! you do anything to make it di!!icult !or him# he $ill hate
you !or it.
%here!ore# since you kno$ that men have a smaller capacity to manage
emotions in comparison to $omen# and need space to empty their
emotion tank# you must understand $hy +=m putting so much emphasis on
FG
this.
Ho$ever# here are a !e$ more reasons you must take into account9
Reason <1 A man -ill feel cared for -hen ,o) address his
needs5
3iving him space# $hen he needs it the most is like# rescuing him !rom
dro$ning. ot only $ill he a"solutely love you !or it# he $ill also !eel very
cared !or. o$# &ust try to understand ho$ po$er!ul this really is.
1hen you understand this > you automatically make yoursel! a"solutely
uni8ue in a man=s eyes# "ecause# no $oman out there gets this process
the right $ay. %here are very !e$ $omen on this planet# $ho even
understand this# let alone practice it.
%here!ore# as you use this process over time# not only $ill your man !eel a
strong desire to return the !avor# and cater to your needs in the "est
possi"le $ay he can# he $ill also see you as a source o! positive !eelings
and $ill !eel a sense o! com!ort around you# $hich is irreplacea"le. +=ll talk
more a"out this in the coming sections.
Reason <2 4o)r bond -ith him -ill gro- stronger -ith time5
+ can=t even tell you ho$ many $omen ask me this 8uestion I ;Ho$ do +
make him love me more: He used to "e attracted to me in the past# "ut
no$# is literally "ored and even a little annoyed "y me.<
1ell# he isn=t annoyed "y youL he is rather annoyed "y $hat you do
around him. Your actions can make a man literally $orship you# or they
can make him a"solutely hate you. %here!ore# $hen you let him have his
F1
space# you send out a completely di!!erent message.
+n his mind# he thinks I ;1o$N )he is letting me have my o$n time and
isn=t "othering me. + am glad she understands my situation like no $oman
ever did in the past.<
And $hen he is emotionally calm# he $ill come "ack to you $ith t$ice the
intensity# and t$ice the attraction than ever "e!ore.
Reason <! Sec)re is se0, to men5
1hen you let him have his space# you also demonstrate that you are
completely secure and can handle your o$n emotions pretty $ell. You are
letting him kno$ that you=d love !or him to "e around# "ut i! he is in need
o! space# then he is !ree to have it.
o$# you might not kno$ this# "ut this is really sexy to a man. He $on=t
"e a"le to help "ut !eel attraction !or you# as long as you operate this $ay.
You $ill automatically stand head and shoulders a"ove the ma&ority o!
$omen on this planet# "ecause the rest don=t get this# and since you do# a
man $ill do anything to keep you in his li!e !or as long as possi"le.
)o no$ that you understand the 4 main reasons $hy it=s "ene!icial to
kno$ this# so no$# let me $alk you through the exact !ormula on ho$ to
put this into use# in your daily dealings $ith a man. %his process consists
o! 4 very simple steps9
Ste3 1 St)d, his actions.
F'
Ste3 2 # 2erbal declaration.
Ste3 ! =ait for him to ma/e the ne0t move.

Ste3 1 St)d, his actions
1hen a man is struggling emotionally or is dealing $ith a pressing issue#
he $ill give you very clear clues that he is dying to have some space.
/sually# $omen don=t read these clues the right $ay# or assume that
may"e he needs more details# or needs you to talk more# $hen the reality
is completely di!!erent.
)o# let me give you the easiest $ay to kno$ $hen to leave him alone and
let him have his time. 1hen you are trying to ask him a 8uestion# or are
trying to raise an issue# and can intuitively !eel that he is sort o! distant
and aloo!# then this is a clear sign that he is asking !or space.
+n other $ords# $hen you !eel that a man is trying to pull a$ay a little#
and you !ind yoursel! trying a little "it too hard to get through to him# it
means that he is letting you kno$ indirectly# that he $ants you to leave
him alone !or the time "eing# and that=s exactly $hat you should do in that
speci!ic situation.

Ste3 2 2erbal declaration
%his step not only helps you $ith the !irst step# "ut it also makes you look
really secure# and com!orta"le in your o$n skin. 1hich $e already kno$#
is something men a"solutely desire in a $oman.
)o $ith this step# you ver"ally tell him that you can sense that something
isn=t right or something is "othering him# and you are going to give him
F4
some space# !or the time "eing. At the same time# you $ill let him kno$
that you are there $henever he is ready to come "ack.
Here is a good example I
;7ohn# + can sense that something is a little o!! "et$een us# there!ore# +=ll
&ust leave you alone !or the time "eing. ?lease kno$ that +=m here i! you
need to talk a"out anything.<
And# this is all you really need to say. 0nce again# this is &ust a small
example and a pretty general one. + am sure# you can come up $ith more
creative $ays# to match your situation.

Ste3 ! =ait for him to ma/e the ne0t move.
%his is $here the ru""er meets the road. 1hen you have !inished the !irst
and the second steps# you should not make any other move "eyond that.
Rather# your &o" no$# is to $ait !or him to make the next move.
Don=t contact him unless he contacts you !irst# and don=t talk to him#
unless he comes to have the talk $ith you.
You must "e thinking I 1hat i! he takes a lot o! time or $hat i! he doesn=t
come "ack at all:
1ell# $e $ill discuss $hat you should do $hen he completely disappears
in some o! the coming sections# "ut right no$# let=s look at $hat i! he
takes a lot o! time to come "ack.
F6
You already kno$ that men have a lo$er emotional capacity# $hich also
means that they get emotionally charged up# pretty !ast. +n other $ords# a
man=s emotion tank can !ill up to its !ull capacity $ithin a very short
amount o! time# $hile it can take many days !or him to empty it# and "ring
it "ack to level Bero.
)o# conse8uently# you can=t expect him to get "ack to you right a$ay# and
as usual# &ust like everything else# there are exceptions to this rule as $ell.
Di!!erent men re8uire di!!erent time !rames to empty their tanks# some are
!ast# and some exceptionally slo$. )ome men are 8uick to recover# $hile
others take some time. 2ut the rule o! thum" is to give him enough time
and let him come to you !irst.
0kay# since no$ you understand $hy it=s important to give a man space#
and ho$ to do it# + $ish to take this a little !urther# and $ant to address
some common o"stacles $omen encounter# $hen dealing $ith the issue o!
emotions and men.
Obstacle <1 Ass)ming that he thin/s li/e a -oman
Don=t $orry i! you=ve "een guilty o! this# + mean $e all see the $orld !rom
our o$n point o! vie$ and o!tentimes# $e tend to pro&ect our o$n "elie!s
on to others# even $hen it comes to dating or relationships.
Although it doesn=t sound like a surprise "ut# the reality is that# men aren=t
like $omen. + kno$ it sounds overly simplistic# and there is a"solutely
nothing ne$ in this statement# "ut kno$ing versus understanding
something# are t$o completely di!!erent things.
Most $omen kno$ that men aren=t like them# yet they expect men to
"ehave like them. -or example# $hen a $oman is under stress# her !irst
F@
reaction is to !ind someone to talk to. )he !inds a sense o! calm# $hen she
has someone# she can share her pro"lems $ith# "ecause this is her outlet.
Ho$ever# men on the other hand# see talking a"out a pro"lem as a sign o!
$eakness. Actuality# they think in extremes and !eel that# i! someone can=t
solve the issue they=re experiencing# $hat=s the point o! talking a"out it:
1hy not &ust avoid it# and try !orgetting a"out it completely:
%hus they try to distance themselves or distract themselves !rom the
pro"lem. 2ut# $hen a $oman and a man are encountering an issue
together# a $oman=s !irst reaction is to talk it all out# in as much detail as
possi"le# ho$ever# the man $ants to avoid the su"&ect altogether and
distract himsel!.
)o the $oman tries her "est to ask him emotionally charged 8uestions#
hoping to extract some sort o! an ans$er !rom him# $hile the man is
sitting on the other side o! this and !eels that he is under attack and is
"eing asked to discuss the very issue# he $ants to desperately avoid. Can
you see ho$ all this comes together:

Obstacle <2 4o) -ant him to be e03ressive1 -hile he -ants ,o)
to be calm
Men express through actions# not $ords. %his is so important that + must
repeat mysel! I ;Men express through actions# not $ords.<
1e=ve already discussed that men don=t think like $omen# and !ollo$ a
completely di!!erent thinking process. o$# to continue $ith that same
concept# some $omen expect their man to "e expressive $ith his
thoughts.
FA
%he pro"lem $ith that is simple I Men aren=t good at expressing
themselves# especially $ith $ords. %hey $ill al$ays say something
con!using or might say completely the $rong thing. )ince men aren=t in
touch $ith their emotions like $omen are# it is a lot more di!!icult !or a
man to come to terms $ith his o$n emotions and express them.
)o as men# $e take the easy route I 1e express ourselves $ith our
actions.
Ho$ever# some $omen still demand ans$ers# there!ore in the process#
they press their man harder and harder to express himsel!. 1hen you do
that# you are over"urdening his already small emotion "earing capacity#
and eventually his tank $ill over!lo$.
1hen this happens# a man expects you to remain calm instead o! pushing
him !urther. )o $hen you are attempting to get more details !rom him# he
is sitting on the other end# expecting calmness !rom you. 2ut since he
doesn=t kno$ ho$ to communicate that to you# he &ust $on=t ans$er any
8uestions and try to get some space.
%here!ore i! you can "e calm and let his emotions cool o!!# he $ill not only
thank you !or it# "ut no$ he $ill see you as the only $oman $ho !inally
gets him# the $ay no other $oman understood him.
0kay since no$ you understand ho$ emotions $ork in a man=s $orld#
next# +=d like to sho$ you ho$ communication $orks in his $orld. Move to
the next section.

FC
Section ' ;o- Comm)nication =or/s 9or a
@an.
;1ill you &ust get to the point:< )aid 7ohn# in a slightly annoyed tone.
;%he point: 1ell# the point is you are never ready to listen to me# it=s like
you aren=t patient enough anymore.< )aid# Annie.
;+! you &ust got to the point# our conversations $ould "e more
meaning!ul.< Replied# 7ohn.
;You kno$ $hat: 7ust !orget it<# said Annie as she "riskly $alked out o!
the room slamming the door really hard# on her $ay out.
)ounds like a typical situation huh: Ho$ o!ten have you !ound yoursel!
trying to talk to a man# only to realiBe that he is Boned out# and isn=t even
interested in listening to you:
0r $orse# he doesn=t care a"out $hat you have to say# and keeps on
asking you to get to the "ottom line# or say it all in short:
1ell# the pro"lem isn=t $ith you# nor is it $ith the man. %he main pro"lem
is the unrealistic expectation most $omen hang on to. Do you kno$ $hat
these expectations are: +t=s expecting a man to understand things# the
$ay you understand them. +n other $ords# it=s expecting your man to
understand you# the $ay your girl!riends understand you.
FD
-or a man# it=s all a"out the main goal or the main thing# "ecause men are
completely goal oriented.
%hey think in terms o! eventuality. 1omen on the other hand# are all
a"out the procedure and are a lot more process oriented.
+n other $ords# it also means that $omen are all a"out the details# the
little things# everything "et$een the lines# $hile men are all a"out keeping
it really short.
+ see this di!!erence every single day# $hen dealing $ith clients. + could
ask a man and a $oman the same 8uestion# and get completely di!!erent
ans$ers. o# not di!!erent in terms o! the content rather the length.
1omen tend to pour in a lot o! details# and tend to "e more descriptive#
$hile men speak in very short sentences# and never add any details unless
they are explicitly asked to do so. %his also explains $hy $hen a group o!
$omen sit togetherL they can talk !or hours a"out any su"&ect. 1hile# i!
you o"serve a group o! men on a social outing# you $ill o"serve that their
conversations are rather short# and not exactly too descriptive.
%his is $hy it=s all the more important !or you# to properly understand ho$
communication really $orks in a man=s $orld. +n !act# let me ela"orate this
!urther# and give you 4 main reasons $hy this is really vital to your success
$ith men9
1# 4o) can>t )nderstand each other -hen ,o) /ee3 on s3ea/ing
t-o different lang)ages
+ kno$ this sounds a little o"vious# ho$ever# imagine that you and your
FF
man speak completely di!!erent languages# and one can=t understand the
other# at all: 1hat is "ound to happen in such a scenario: You $ill say a
lot# ho$ever nothing $ould ever get through to him# and similarly# he $ill
say a lot to you and it might not get through to you either.
)o# "oth o! you $ould "e sitting at the opposite corners# !uming $ith
!rustration# trying to $onder $hy nothing ever goes through. 1hen in
reality# you have to !irst start speaking a language $hich $ill "e commonly
understood "y "oth o! you# since that=s the only $ay to get any$here $ith
your partner.
-urthermore# that $ill only happen $hen you e8uip yoursel! $ith the right
set o! tools# and properly understand ho$ communication really $orks in
the male $orld.
2# *f ,o) don>t ma/e things eas, for him1 he -ill )nconscio)sl,
ma/e things hard for ,o)
)ounds like a !ancy play o! $ords right: 1ell# the reality is that $hen you
don=t $ork on understanding his $orld# you might end up making things a
little di!!icult !or him# and in return he $ill unconsciously make everything
a lot more di!!icult !or you.
A good example o! this is# $hen he gets angry at your re8uests# Bones
out# or acts like he isn=t interested in hearing you at all. o$# $hen such a
thing happens# you could assume that he is &ust "eing di!!icult. 2ut in
reality# you are hitting the standard "locks already present in his mind only
"ecause you don=t understand ho$ things $ork in his $orld.
0nce you understand it# everything $ill start to come together# and
communication $ith him $ill "ecome super smooth# and really easy.
1GG
!# 4o) -ill be able to get ,o)r 3oint across -ith 1((D acc)rac,
%his is the "iggest "ene!it o! understanding his communication style. 0nce
you properly understand ho$ communication $orks !or him# you $ill
discover that he is a lot more attentive# is paying a lot more attention and
is actually !ollo$ing through $ith your re8uests a lot.
%he "asic di!!erence "et$een a $oman $ho struggles $ith her man#
versus a $oman $ho can get him to do almost anything she pleases# is
8uite simple. %he $oman $ho succeeds is the one# $ho=s isn=t "othered to
delve into the details# and learns a"out the inner $orkings o! the male
$orld.
Alright# so no$ that you understand $hy it=s so important to learn this#
let=s get to the interesting part. %here are 4 very important distinctions you
need to understand regarding# the male versus !emale communication
styles9
Distinction 1 @en li/e to be ver, s3ecific1 -hile -omen are
general.
Men $on=t talk# unless# there is a speci!ic goal or a topic at hand. Have
you ever asked a guy to &ust talk to you# and !ound him struggling# or
even asking you 8uestions like > 1hat do you need to talk a"out:
1hile# i! a group o! $omen sit together# they can &ust talk a"out a variety
o! things# $ithout having a speci!ic topic# or goal in mind.
)ince men are goal seekers# they naturally try to !ind a speci!ic purpose o!
1G1
every activity they do# $hich includes communication as $ell. +=ll tell you
ho$ to use this to your advantage later in this section.
Distinction 2 @en don>t share man, details1 b)t onl, the
im3ortant ones1 -hile -omen tr, to share as m)ch as 3ossible.
Do you kno$ that the male thinking process is o!ten# private and silent: +n
other $ords# men $ill never ver"aliBe the details o! their thinking processL
ho$ever# they $ould only ver"aliBe the end result. +! you discuss a
pro"lem $ith your man# he $ill naturally go into this thinking process and
sort o! Bone you out.
At that moment it might seem like# he isn=t interested in discussing the
issue at hand $ith you# "ut in reality# he can=t think and discuss all the
details $ith you at the same time. +! you leave him alone during this
process# he $ill eventually come "ack to you $ith a possi"le solution.
Ho$ever# on the other hand# $hen a $oman discusses a"out a pro"lem#
she likes to mention all the little to "ig details a"out it ver"ally and
naturally !eels the need to ver"ally address everything.
%his is $hy most $omen complain a"out ho$ they can discuss anything
easily $ith their girl!riends# $hile they can=t do the same thing# $ith the
man in their li!e. %he reality is that it=s not really the man=s !ault# "ecause#
he is naturally $ired to react this $ay.
Distinction ! 6istening 3assivel, isn>t eas,1 since a man is a
nat)ral fi0er.
Have you ever $anted !or your man to &ust sit there# and listen to you# "ut
1G'
someho$ he kept on coming up $ith ideas# solutions or tried to direct you
on $hat you should do: May"e you $anted him to 8uietly sit there and
listen to the issues you encountered at $ork# "ut he keeps on cutting into
your $ords# and $on=t stop $ith his suggestions:
You see# things $ork in strange $ays in a man=s $orld. )ince men think
di!!erently# they assume that i! you are discussing an issue $ith them# then
you are doing it "ecause you can=t !ind a solution to it. %hat=s $hen they
make it their responsi"ility# to !ind that solution !or you and help you $ith
it.
+n !act# most men !eel responsi"le $hen you get into such a state# and $ill
even try to !orce you a little to give their solutions a try# and report "ack
on $hether it $orked !or you or not.
Distinction @en can>t read bet-een the lines.
%his is more common than you might possi"ly kno$ at this point. You see#
$omen are a lot more intuitive than men. %hey can clearly read "et$een
the lines# and get the idea# except men are the exact opposite o! it.
%hey struggle to read "et$een the lines# and unless they are told exactly
$hat you need them to understand# they $ill never get it. +! you aren=t as
speci!ic and concise as possi"le $ith a man# then there is a very high
chance# that he might not get the message you are trying to convey# or
might even get the $rong message.
Most $omen make the mistake o! saying a certain thing and then# expect
the man# to someho$ !igure out the underlying intent# on his o$n. %he
truth is that he can=t do it on his o$n and i! you expect him to# then you
$ill only con!use him !urther.
1G4
0kay# so no$ that you understand the important distinctions# let me
explain ho$ you can use these to your ultimate advantage# and get the
"est possi"le result out o! every conversation you have $ith any man9
+ have developed a !ormula that you must adhere to during any
conversation $ith a man. + call it the ;4%< !ormula. Here is ho$ this
!ormula $orks9
1# Tell him -hat ,o) e03ect.
2# Tell him all the s3ecifics.
!# Tell him the 3)r3ose of the conversation.
+ kno$ it sounds overly simplistic# "ut you $ill see the po$er o! this# $hen
you apply it to any conversation $ith your man. 5et me explain each point
!urther9
1# Tell him -hat to e03ect
You already kno$ that men think in terms o! end goals# and the ;2ottom
lines<. +n other $ords# they $ant to see the point# even "e!ore you "egin a
conversation# so "e!ore you start any conversation# you must let him
kno$# $hat you expect !rom him during that conversation# and $hat the
end goal might "e.
-or example I +! you &ust $ant him to spend a !e$ moments $ith you# and
actively listen to you# a"out your day# then you could say I
;7ohnN +=ve had a very long day today# and $ould like to talk to you a"out
1G6
it. Ho$ever# + don=t need your help "ut &ust $ant you to "e there and
listen# "ecause $hen + kno$ that you=re listening# it com!orts me.<
Can you see ho$ easy that $as: o$ instead o! slipping into the Mr. -ix it
mode# your man kno$s exactly $hat you expect# and you $ill get exactly
$hat you $anted !rom him.
2# Tell him all the s3ecifics
)ince men don=t like generalities# and pre!er speci!ics# make sure that
$henever you talk to him# you remain as speci!ic as possi"le.
-or example# never say I ;7ohnN Ho$ is your $ork:<
2ecause# to this he $ould usually respond "y saying I ;0h it=s goodK"ad.<
Rather say I ;7ohnN Ho$ is $ork lately: + remem"er you $ere having
some issues $ith your "oss# are they resolved no$:<
%his $ill make him give you a more detailed ans$er# and the 8uality o! the
conversation $ill "e "etter overall. )o the key to remem"er here# is that
you should never ever "e general# rather# "e as speci!ic as possi"le.

!# Tell him the 3)r3ose of the conversation.
Remem"er# $e have already discussed that men like things to "e# to the
point# and as short as possi"le: %o ela"orate on that !urther# you $on=t
al$ays need to &ust get to the point# as long as you give him a speci!ic
reason ;$hy< you $ant him to listen to $hat you=re saying.
1G@
%his is an age old psychological principle# yet it is very rarely used "y
people in their day to day li!e. Here is a pretty good example o! this > let=s
say# you are standing in a long line in !ront o! the ticket counter# at the
movies. Ho$ $ill you react# i! someone &ust cuts the line and tries to stand
in !ront o! you: You=d "e !umed right:
2ut no$# $hat $ill happen i! that same person tells you that they have le!t
their child in the car# and $ere in a hurry: You $ill "e more likely to let
them have your spot# right:
2ut $hy: 1ell# "ecause as long as someone gives us a valid reason# $e
can=t help "ut comply $ith their re8uest.
You need to do something similar $hen talking to your man as $ell. You
$ill "e a"le to talk a"out literally anything# no matter ho$ long or short# as
long as you give him a strong enough reason !or it.
A $oman once came to me !or help# regarding this very su"&ect. (very
time she tried to have an intense conversation $ith her man# he used to
Bone out and distance himsel!.
1hen she asked him to explain $hy he kept distancing himsel!# he told her
that he "elieves she=s very $hiny# and complains a lot. %his conse8uently
led to more !riction# "et$een the t$o o! them.
%his $oman explained to me that she $asn=t exactly complaining#
ho$ever# $hen she speaks a"out certain su"&ects it appears to him that
she is complaining #$hen in reality# she is only expressing hersel!.
1GA
ext# + gave her a very simple solution > + asked her to give her man a
good reason $hy# "e!ore every conversation. Here is $hat she said to her
man9
;+ kno$ it o!ten sounds like +=m complaining# "ut + need to let you kno$
that# + express mysel! "etter# $hen + talk a"out things in a lot o! detail.
Ho$ever# + $ill still try my "est to "e as much to the point as possi"le.<
And magically her man $as a lot calmer than normal# and even listened to
everything she had to say $ith a lot o! patience.
%here!ore# can you see ho$ easy this really is: +t doesn=t re8uire a
complicated process# to get through to your man. )ometimes a good
reason $hy is enough# to get the deal done.
2ut as usual# you must "e thinking I $hat a"out exceptional cases or
special situations: 1ell# there are certain situations $hen these rules
might not get the &o" done.
0ne speci!ic situation is $hen your man is either !eeling emotionally do$n#
or over$helmed. Do not ever push a man during those situations# as he
$ill only !eel the need to distance himsel! !urther. As you already kno$
that men have a smaller emotional tank in comparison to $omen# and
their only $ay to empty that tank is to get some space. )o make it a point
to o!!er him enough space during those situations.
0ther than that# these rules apply to most o! the situations you $ould
encounter $ith any man. ?lus# you $ill en&oy a greater level o!
satis!action# $ith every conversation you have $ith your man. +n !act# here
are the 4 prime "ene!its you $ill gain# a!ter you apply the concepts you
learned in this section to your li!e9
1GC
Benefit 1 4o) -ill ma/e him feel at ease -ith ,o)5
Do you kno$ $hat happens $hen he !eels at ease around you: You $ill
"ecome the source o! pleasant !eelings !or him# and he $ill !ind himsel!
spending more and more time in your company. %he "est part is that other
$omen $on=t "e a"le to do any o! this# and you $ill en&oy an un!air
advantage over most o! them.
Benefit 2 4o) -ill be s3ea/ing a lang)age ,o)r man -ill easil,
)nderstand5
All the misunderstandings# all the con!usions and all the !riction $hich
used to exist in the past $ill vanish overnight. You $ill !eel like you and
your man actually get# and understand each other on a very deep level.
Benefit ! ;e -ill loo/ for-ard to s3ea/ing -ith ,o)5
%his is the "iggest "ene!it o! them all. +! you keep on applying the
strategies# you learned in this section# your man $ill start looking !or$ard
to speaking $ith you. He $ill even make a lot more e!!ort# and you $ill
!ind him a lot more engaged in $hat you have to say# in comparison to the
past. 0verall# things $ill drastically change in your relationship once you
apply these keys.

1GD
Section 1( ;o- to @a/e ;im Do An,thing.
Have you ever tried to control your man or at least# thought a"out it:
Almost every $oman + speak to is trying to control her man# in one $ay or
another. + kno$# this sounds like a very "ig assumption# "ut almost every
$oman $ants more o! one thing or another# !rom her man.
May it "e more love# attention# interest or even something as simple as
her man=s time. +n !act# a good example o! this are those ;+! 0nly< $omen.
+! only he $ould spend more time $ith me9
+! only he sho$ed more love9
+! only he $ould stop "eing a laBy "um and do something9
%he list o! ;+! only=s< can "e never ending# ho$ever# + "elieve you
understand my point.
%here is a"solutely nothing $rong $ith $anting more !rom your
relationship# or your man# that=s per!ectly reasona"le. Ho$ever# the "ig
pro"lem arises $ith the method most $omen adopt# to achieve their
o"&ectives.
Most $omen try the age old approach o! "eing extremely nice to him or
doing nice things !or him# expecting that he $ould someho$ notice it# and
return the !avor. Ho$ever# $hen those tactics don=t $ork# they go in the
opposite direction# and try nagging or $orse manipulation.
1GF
2ut does any o! it $ork: 1ell# yes it de!initely $orks# "ut only temporarily#
and in the process you !eel massively "urned out and !rustrated.
You can only push a man so much# and so !ar# "eyond a certain point# he
$ill read $hat you are trying to do and $ill only resist. )o the "ig key isn=t
to push him# it=s rather to make him come to his o$n conclusion that $hat
you=re expecting# or asking him to do# is in o$n "est interest.
+n short I You can get him to do# $hat you $ant him to do# and at the
same time# he $ill think that he $as in control# and it $as all his idea. +
kno$ this sounds a little sneaky right no$# "ut $hen you completely
understand this concept# you=ll see ho$ po$er!ul it really is.
Ho$ever# "e!ore $e go any !urther# + need to explain $hy you need this9
There are onl, t-o -a,s to motivate a man1 7egative or
3ositive...
1hen you $ant your man to do something !or you# then o"viously# you=ll
need to motivate him on some level. /sually# there are t$o kinds o!
motivational !orces I 0ne is negative and the other is positive. 1hen you
push him "y nagging or manipulation# you end up charging him up
negatively.
)ure# he might comply $ith your re8uest "ecause negative motivation in
itsel! is pretty strong# ho$ever# over time his urge to !ollo$ through $ith
your re8uests $ill diminish massively# and you $ill !ind yoursel! $orking
harder and harder to make him listen to you.
%he other $ay# is to charge him up positively# $hich also means to
11G
motivate him positively. o$ positive motivation is a lot di!!erent !rom
negative motivation.
1hen he is experiencing positive !eelings# in regards to $hat you $ant
him to do# he $ill internally !eel that !ollo$ing through $ith your re8uest is
an act o! pleasure# and over time you $ill see him promptly acting on
anything you need !rom him.
+n other $ords I You $on=t experience any !riction or reluctance !rom his
end# "ecause the very act o! doing pleasing things !or you# $ill indeed give
him a lot o! pleasure in return. %his is the true de!inition o! creating a $in>
$in situation.
?lus# you need to understand that !eelings drive our li!e# $e are naturally
"ound to do more o! the things $hich give us pleasure# and less o! the
things $hich give us pain. %here!ore# it=s much easier to use positive
motivation to your advantage.
)o ho$ does it all $ork: 1ell# the !ormula is pretty simple. + call it the
;+ndirect>Direct< techni8ue.
1ith this !ormula# you "asically create an environment $here your man
$ill !eel that !ollo$ing through $ith your re8uest is the "est possi"le
decision# and he $ill even !eel that it $as all his idea.
;ere is the form)la 4o)r s)ggestion E A strong reason F=;4G
E o3tional benefit H 8ers)asion
5et me "reak it do$n !urther !or you# this !ormula "asically has 4 phases
or 4 steps.
111
%he !irst is $hat you $ant him to do or your suggestion. )econd is giving
him a reason or a list o! reasons $hy he must do $hat you $ant him to
do# and third "eing a "ene!it or $hat he $ould gain i! he $as to !ollo$
through $ith your re8uest.
%his is the "asic !ormula that you can apply to almost any situation $ith a
man# and easily get him to do anything you $ant him to do. 5et me
explain ho$ this $orks $ith an example9
5et=s say you $ant him to take you out !or a dinner date. o$# i! you $ere
to !ollo$ the old hit and trial route# you might casually ask him to take you
out# and hope that he says yes. Ho$ever# the chances o! this "eing
success!ul are pretty lo$.
2ut# $hat happens $hen you say something like I ;Honey# +=m really tired
today and don=t !eel like cooking# do you mind i! $e eat out tonight: 0h
and "y the $ay# + already have a @GH discount coupon !or xyB restaurant.<
Can you see the di!!erence there: %he second line seems much more
po$er!ul# and your man $ill "e more likely to say yes.
1hy does this $ork: 1ell it $orks "ecause humans are 1G times more
likely to !ollo$ through $ith a re8uest# $hen they are given a valid reason.
1hen $e are merely asked to do something# or hear a re8uest o! some
kind# $e unconsciously ask ourselves I 1hy should + do it: 1hat=s in it !or
me: 1hat $ill + gain !rom this:
%here!ore# $hen you give a strong reason $hy# you already eliminate that
o"&ection and your partner $ill "e more receptive to your re8uests.
11'
?lus# $hen you add an optional "ene!it to the mix# it "ecomes an almost
no "rainer. +n this case# the @GH discount coupon $as an added "ene!it
$hich makes saying ;yes< a lot easier !or your man.
+=m calling this third step# an optional "ene!it# "ecause it is optional and
isn=t necessary in all cases. %here are many instances $here you don=t
have to o!!er any "ene!it $hatsoever# and your re8uest $ill still "e acted
upon# "ased on a strong reason $hy alone.
)o let=s play $ith this a "it more. 5et=s say you $ant your man to call you
more o!ten. 1hat $ill you usually say to achieve this: You might say I
;Honey# can you please call me daily instead o! once or t$ice a $eek:<
o$ once again# he might or might not take your suggestion into
consideration# ho$ever# $hen $e apply our !ormula to this# here is $hat
this "ecomes9
;Honey# can $e please talk daily on the phone "ecause# hearing !rom you#
makes me !eel really good# and +=d love to hear !rom you every single day
i! it=s okay $ith you.<
)ee ho$ it sounds a lot more po$er!ul no$:
Also I Did you notice ho$ the second part o! the sentence isn=t &ust
providing a strong reason $hy# "ut also a hidden "ene!it at the same
time: 1hich means# that you have the second# and third part o! the
!ormula $orking in a single sentence.
+n !act# try this in your daily conversations $ith anyone# and see the
114
di!!erence it makes to ho$ suddenly everyone is complying $ith your
re8uest $ith a lot more ease no$. Here are a !e$ more examples9

ormal Re8uest A!ter applying the !ormula
;Honey# can you please help me
clean the house:<

Can you pick me up !rom $ork
today:

1ould you come to my !riend=s
party:

Can you please hold me !or a
$hile:

Can $e please talk a little longer:
;Honey# can you please help me
clean the house today# as +=ve "een
$orking since the last 4 hours# and
don=t think + can do it all on my
o$n:<

Can you please pick me up !rom
$ork today as it=s "een 8uite some
time since $e=ve gone out
together: May"e $e could go to
your !avorite restaurant as $ell.

My !riend is thro$ing a party next
$eek# and +=d love to take you
there. + $ant all my !riends to
!inally see ho$ great my "oy!riend
truly is.

Can you please hold me !or a
$hile: + &ust !eel an amaBing sense
o! calm# and security $hen you
hold me. +t= something + &ust can=t
explain.

Can $e please talk a little longer:
+=m having $ork related issues# and
talking to you makes me !eel "etter.
116
+ hope all this is pretty clear "y no$# and you understand exactly ho$ this
$orks. 2ut no$# you must "e thinking I 1hat i! he says# no: 1hat i! + do
my "est# and he still doesn=t !ollo$ through $ith my re8uest:
1ell in that case# you don=t push any !urther# and thank him !or even
considering your re8uest. You see# sometimes your man might not say yes
right a$ay# "ecause o!ten times# men need more time to come to a logical
decision on their o$n.
Ho$ever# during this time# your &o" is to stay calm# and not push him at
all. You see# $hen you remain calm and demonstrate a peace!ul attitudeL
he $ill eventually come "ack and !ollo$ through $ith your re8uest.
evertheless# + must point out that there are certain situations $here this
!ormula $on=t $ork !or you. Here is a small list o! those situations9
Sit)ation 1 =hen ,o)r re.)est is )nreasonable
+ kno$ this su"&ect is pretty de"ata"le# and there is no !ixed yardstick to
kno$ $hat=s reasona"le and $hat=s not reasona"le# ho$ever# there are
certain situations $here $omen ask !or unreasona"le things# and expect a
man to still consider their re8uest.
A good example o! such a situation could "e# expecting your man to spend
most o! his time $ith you# and not letting him have any time on his o$n.
0r a situation $here# you kno$ your man can=t a!!ord a certain thing# yet
you still keep on pushing him to "uy you that speci!ic thing.
2ut the list doesn=t stop at this pointL there are many more things $hich
could "e considered unreasona"le# or pretty close to it. %he point +=m
trying to make is that i! he didn=t !ollo$ through $ith your re8uest# then
11@
please check to see i! $hat you asked !or# $as $ithin the realms o! reason
or not.
Sit)ation 2 The right timing is of critical im3ortance
You must make your re8uest at the right time. +n !act# i! you aren=t sure
that the time is right# it=s "etter to $ait# !or a more appropriate time. 7ust
like you $ant him to "e considerate o! your re8uestsL you need to "e
considerate o! his needs as $ell.
Here is a good example I +t=s not a good idea to ask him to take you out
!or dinner# $hen you kno$ that he has a very important meeting the next
day# and he is $orking hard on something that he needs to present in the
o!!ice the very next day.
Sit)ation ! As/ing him to do something -hich ,o) /no- he
-on>t do
o$ this is a "ig one. (very human has a di!!erent set o! personal
"oundaries# in other $ords# some people aren=t okay $ith doing certain
things.
)ometimes# it could "e a thing as simple as dancing at a party. %o you it
might not mean much# ho$ever# !or your "oy!riend it could "e a pretty "ig
deal# and he might have a lot o! internal "lockers running regarding that
su"&ect.
)o# i! you kno$ that your "oy!riend is a"solutely !rightened o! dancing in
!ront o! a "unch o! people at a party# then it $on=t "e a good idea to use
this !ormula in an attempt to make him let go o! his !ears# and dance $ith
you.
11A
+t=s also not a $ise idea to push your man to do something# $hich makes
him uncom!orta"le in the !irst place# "ecause &ust think a"out it I Ho$
$ould you !eel i! he tried to make you do something you aren=t
com!orta"le $ith: You $ill resist too# right: )o it=s really important to keep
this point in mind "e!ore making your re8uest.
)o !ar# $e=ve covered a lot o! sensi"le concepts. o$ it=s time to discuss
something a little "it $eird. Move to the next section to discover this $eird
concept.

11C
Section 11 Ca3t)re ;is ;eart B, Revealing
4o)r *m3erfections.

Did + read it right: Does the title o! this chapter say I ;You can capture his
heart# "y revealing your imper!ections:< 1ell# yes. You read it right.
+ kno$ this isn=t going to "e an easy one !or you to s$allo$# let alone try
in your li!e# "ut please suspend your dis"elie! !or a moment# and pay very
close attention to the point +=m trying to make.
A !riend o! mine $as having issues trying to !ind a guy. )he had "een on
plenty o! dates# met hundreds o! guys# "ut it never used to go "eyond the
!irst !e$ dates. +n !act# things used to get so "oring# that she started to
think that may"e something is seriously $rong $ith her.
3uys used to sho$ a lot o! interest in her early on# "ut a!ter the !irst !e$
meetings it $ould drop drastically and she couldn=t put a !inger on exactly
$hat $as $rong. %hen# it got to a point $here she $as utterly !rustrated#
and even a little angry.
)he had "een on 6 dates $ith this ne$ guy# "ut it $as starting to get to a
point# $here conversations $ere "oring and dry. )he could sense that this
$as another dead situation# and she=d have to go "ack to her same old
routine o! > -ind a ne$ guy# go on a date# and rinse and repeat.
)he $as a"solutely tired o! this# and $anted to give up altogether. )he
$as due !or another date $ith this ne$ guy# "ut this time# she didn=t $ant
it to "e like all the other meetings she had $ith him. )ince she $as
starting to lose hope# she dropped all her expectations# and decided that
this time around# she is &ust going to speak her mind and nothing else.
11D
)he met him !or dinner and as usual# and very 8uickly she realiBed that he
didn=t seem like he had much to talk a"out. )he decided to take charge
and said I ;1hy are $e even here:<
He couldn=t 8uite understand $hy she $as saying this# so $ith a con!used
look on his !ace he said I ;1ell# $e are on a date# aren=t $e:<
%hen she said I ;Yes# + already kno$ that# "ut + don=t think $e have
anything much in common. + mean# &ust look at the conversations $e
have. +t=s like there isn=t much to talk a"out. And to "e honest $ith you# +
have "een on a 8uite a lot o! dates# and this is the same thing $hich
happens over and over again.<
;+=m &ust looking !or someone $ho $ould understand me# "ut + don=t think
that=s going to happen.<
%here $as a sudden energy in his demeanor# he $as leaning "ack deep on
the chair "ut a!ter hearing her# he leaned a little !or$ard and got closer to
her and said I ;%ell me more.<
)he $ent on to tell him all the horri"le dating experiences she
encountered in the past !e$ months# and ho$ it annoyed her to the point
o! almost giving up. He $as interested in kno$ing it all# and the
conversation $ent on !or several hours.
2ut at this point# my !riend noticed something odd "ut good. )he noticed
that this same guy $ho didn=t really have much to talk a"out $ith her# $as
talking a lot# and $as a lot more interested in $hat she had to say. +n !act#
the conversation got so interesting# that they didn=t $ant the date to end.
11F
1hen she arrived home later that night# she got a text !rom him that said
I ;You are a real person and +=ve never come across someone like you. +
loved it tonight. Can $e meet again:<
)o# do you kno$ $hy this $orked so $ell:
1hen you honestly open up# and sho$ a little vulnera"ility at the same
time# a man unconsciously !eels a sense o! com!ort. +n !act# the "iggest
reason $hy this $orks so $ell# is "ecause is directly triggers a man=s
protective instincts.
A man can=t help "ut !eel dra$n to a $oman $ho is capa"le o! revealing a
$eaker side to hersel!# $ithout "eing too scared# o! ho$ she might "e
perceived.
A true connection only happens $hen a man and a $oman# "oth !eel
completely at ease and com!orta"le around each other. Ho$ever# that
can=t happen $hen you are too scared o! completely expressing yoursel!.
+n !act# let me ask you to do something I Can you think o! a time in the
past $here you !elt this invisi"le $all "et$een you and a particular man:
May"e you !elt like there $as this odd distance "et$een the t$o o! you#
and something &ust !elt out o! place:
And# did you try to do or say something to connect "etter# "ut someho$
there $as this very $eird sense o! discom!ort in the air: 1hat do you
think that $as: 1here do you think that came !rom:
+ can almost "et that this happened "ecause# you didn=t completely
1'G
express yoursel! #and had a lot to say "ut held it "ack "ecause you !eared
his &udgment# or !eared that he might not like you# i! you take it too !ar.
%his reminds me o! another story a"out a client o! mine named )uBanne.
)uBanne came to me $ith a very uni8ue pro"lem. )he $as having an on
and o!! relationship $ith a man named Mike. Mike $as a $onder!ul# caring
and the most loving man she had ever come across# "ut at times she
didn=t understand his actions.
%here $ere times $hen he $ould call her many times a day# "ut then
suddenly# he $ould disappear completely# and $on=t ans$er his phone !or
several days# only to come "ack later and act like everything is completely
normal.
At !irst )uBanne !ound this utterly rude and even a little strange# "ut over
time she got used to this pattern# and concluded that this is &ust ho$ Mike
$as.
%hen# one day something really strange happened. Mike didn=t call
)uBanne !or a !e$ $eeks# and didn=t even ans$er her phone calls or text.
2ut# this $asn=t the strange part# )uBanne could see that Mike $as very
active on his -ace"ook pro!ile# and $as regularly making posts and
interacting $ith others.
%his made )uBanne very insecure. )he !eared that may"e he $as done
$ith her# and this $as his nice $ay o! saying I You are dumped# never
contact me again.
At !irst she thought a"out calling Mike out on this# "ut she didn=t $ant to
1'1
appear $eak. )he didn=t $ant him to see that she is "othered# so she
pretended like everything $as !ine# even though on the inside# she $as
literally "urning $ith pain.
As a !e$ days passed# her pain started to overpo$er her a"ility to handle
it. )he $as losing all $ill po$er and needed ans$ers !rom Mike. )he even
!eared that may"e Mike has !ound someone else and never told her.
)he $as !eeling a"andoned# and alone. )o# instead o! calling or texting#
this time she decided to $rite a very long email to Mike "ut# she didn=t ask
!or ans$ers or any explanations !rom him. Rather# she descri"ed exactly
ho$ she $as !eeling# and $hy she $as !eeling that $ay.
Here is $hat she said I
;Mike# $e=ve kno$n each other !or a !e$ months no$# and + can honestly
say I you=re the most genuine person +=ve ever come across. +t=s "een a
$hile since $e last spoke# and something inside me tells me that may"e
it=s the end o! the road !or us. + have "een having a di!!icult time dealing
$ith my emotions lately# and please kno$ that +=m not holding you
responsi"le !or this.
2ut# + can sense that you don=t see a !uture $ith me# and may"e +=m not
the right match !or you. Ho$ever# + &ust $ant you to kno$ that $hatever
time $e shared $as really special to me# and it $ill al$ays "e special.
+ $on=t lie to you# "ecause + have struggled a lot in the past !e$ days. +
really miss you a lot "ut + also understand that + can=t !orce you to have
!eelings !or me. + also need you to kno$# that i! you have someone else in
your li!e# then + completely understand and you can !reely talk to me
a"out anything you !eel like. 7ust kno$ that +=m here !or you# i! you need
1''
me# i! not# + &ust $ant you to kno$ that you=ll al$ays "e very dear to my
heart. ;
You see# )uBanne didn=t attack him# and didn=t "lame him !or his actions.
Rather she descri"ed $hat she $as going through# and ho$ all this $as
making her !eel. +n other $ords# she expressed hersel! in a very open and
honest $ay.
)o# $hat do you think happened next: )he didn=t get a response the next
day# even though she sat on her laptop !or several hours# and kept
re!reshing the page in hopes that there is a message !rom Mike.
%hen another day passed# and nothing at all and then another# then
another.
At this point# )uBanne lost all hope# and concluded that things "et$een
her and Mike $ere completely over. )he doesn=t have a choice "ut to move
on no$.
2ut# this is $here the strange thing happened. )he got a text !rom mike
and he $anted to kno$ i! she had time to talk to him over the phone: )he
instantly texted "ack that she $as !ree# and $as looking !or$ard to hear
!rom him.
Her phone rang and she heard a very di!!erent voice I He $as crying. %he
pain in his voice $as overly evident. 2e!ore )uBanne could say anything#
Mike said I ;+=m sorry. +=m really very sorry.<
He told )uBanne that he $as really sorry !or $hat he had put her through#
and it $as really unintentional. %hen he $ent on to descri"e ho$ he had
1'4
some really di!!icult relationships in the past# and $as scared that i! he
opened up again# then he might su"&ect himsel! to the same pain he
experienced in the past.
He also mentioned that he didn=t expect that )uBanne $ould ever
understand $hat he $as going through# so he didn=t kno$ $hat to do# and
decided to distance himsel! "ecause# he didn=t kno$ ho$ to handle his
emotions.
%his $as the most authentic Mike had ever "een# around )uBanne. Mike
also told her that a!ter reading her email# he !elt like a huge load had "een
taken o!! his shoulders# and he !inally !elt com!orta"le $ith expressing
himsel! openly.
%o conclude the story# "oth o! them $orked through these issues in a very
open $ay and their "ond gre$ stronger and stronger $ith time. %hey are
no$ happily married.
)o no$ let me say something you don=t usually hear I Revealing yoursel!
in a very genuine $ay is the "est thing you can ever do around a man. +n
!act# you $ill "e doing your man a !avor i! you can express yoursel!
$ithout &udging# criticiBing or "laming him !or anything.
1hy does this $ork: 1ell it creates $hat + call the b)bble of safet,.
+n short# "u""le o! sa!ety is an atmosphere that gets created# $hen your
man !eels completely at ease $ith you# and doesn=t !eel any "lockers
around openly expressing himsel!.
1'6
=h, is this so im3ortant?
%his is really important "ecause $ithout this# you $ill never truly achieve
the most optimal connection $ith a man. +n !act# you $ill only kiss the
sur!ace level connection# and $ill al$ays !eel an inner sense o! lack. You
$ill al$ays !eel that you can do a lot more $ith your relationship# "ut
someho$ something is lacking.
At the same time# this is the easiest and the most e!!ective shortcut to
connecting $ith a man and truly making him !all intensely and deeply# in
love $ith you.
And the "iggest reason $hy this is really important is "ecause# a man
needs to !eel a good level o! com!ort around you# i! you $ant to "ecome
per!ectly in>tune $ith him. +! a man is not com!orta"le# he $on=t open up
completely# and $on=t "e receptive to openness !rom you either.
0ne o! the "iggest reasons $hy men shut do$n is "ecause# they !eel that
they are not in their com!ort Bone around you# and sometimes your
presence alone can trigger a sense o! discom!ort in his mind $hich makes
him distance himsel! !rom you.
%he only $ay out o! this is to create the "u""le o! sa!ety# and create an
environment $here you can !reely express yoursel! and let him express
himsel! as $ell.

=h, does it -or/?

+ can=t 8uite explain exactly $hy this $orks. 2ut every man is genetically
$ired to pick up on certain signals !rom a $oman# and these signals
1'@
indirectly trigger his protector instincts. 5et me give you a 8uick example
o! this I Have you ever discussed a pain!ul situation $ith a man or a
pro"lem you $ere encountering only to realiBe that he keeps o!!ering
solutions# and is eagerly trying to help you solve it:
Men can=t help "ut shi!t into protector mode once they sense a signal !rom
you# that you need their support or help. +n !act# they $ill act like it=s their
duty to protect you# and they $ill get a tremendous amount o! !ul!illment
out o! the $hole act# even i! it=s really di!!icult !or them.
%he other reason $hy this $orks so $ell is "ecause# "y opening a"out
your o$n $eaknesses# it puts the guy at ease# and he then kno$s that he
is dealing $ith another human "eing $ho is very real and has insecurities
and $eaknesses like everyone else.
;o- to create the b)bble of safet,?
Ste3 1 +03licitl, e03ress ,o)r inner most desire -itho)t the
fear of I)dgment or criticism.
Ste3 2 O3enl, admit to a -ea/ness or a mista/e ,o) made1 in
other -ords1 share ,o)r fears.
Ste3 ! +nco)rage o3en dialog)e.

Ste3 1 +03licitl, e03ress ,o)r inner most desire -itho)t the
fear of I)dgment or criticism.
%his doesn=t mean asking him to do something# rather# this means stating
$hat you=d like him to do in the most honest $ay humanly possi"le. -or
example I +! you $ant your "oy!riend to "e more intimate $ith you# say
the !ollo$ing I
1'A
;7ohn# + truly love it $hen you hold me in your arms# it makes me !eel
really sa!e and loved. Can you please hold me !or a $hile<.
Did you notice the explicitness in it: Did you notice ho$ detailed the
sentence is# and ho$ it clearly states exactly $hat you need !rom him# and
exactly $hy you need this thing !rom him:
+! you had &ust said I 7ohn# can you please hold me !or a $hile# it only has
so much po$er# "ut $hen you attach the real reason $hy you $ant him to
hold you# it has a much more po$er!ul impact.

Ste3 2 O3enl, admit to a -ea/ness or a mista/e ,o) made1
share ,o)r fears.
1e all have $eaknesses# $e all have !ears# and $e all think there is
something $rong $ith us. %rust me $hen + say this# no matter ho$ strong
a person appears on the outside# deep do$n# they all have something
$hich "others them# and keeps them a$ake at night.
%he only issue is that FGH o! us aren=t $illing to openly admit to it# as $e
don=t $ant to appear $eak in !ront o! others. 1ell# you don=t have to share
your $eaknesses $ith the $orld# "ut $hen it comes to a relationship# it
can do $onders.
Here is a pretty good example9
;You kno$ 7ohn# you might not kno$ this a"out me# "ut +=m a sucker !or
a!!ection. May"e this is "ecause + haven=t had enough people love me !or
me# or may"e +=m &ust too hungry !or love. + kno$ that + might seem a
1'C
little too eager and even desperate to you# "ut + &ust $ant you to kno$
that +=m a little $eak $hen it comes to matters o! the heart. + &ust need
you to please !orgive me i! + did anything that "othered you.<
Do you see the po$er in this: Can you see ho$ your partner $ill see this
as a sign o! strength# instead o! a $eakness as you aren=t a!raid to admit
to the truth# and "e open unlike everyone else:
Ste3 ! +nco)rage o3en dialog)e.
0nce you=ve success!ully implemented the !irst ' steps# the next step is to
let the guy "e open a"out his !ears# $eaknesses and other !eelings as
$ell. 0nce he is convinced that he can openly talk to you a"out anything#
$ithout the !ear o! &udgment# or criticism# he $ill !eel this strong
unconscious "ond $ith you that $ill make him stick to you# and only you
!orever.
Do not conf)se this -ith com3laining5
%here is a very "ig di!!erence "et$een opening up a"out your true !eelings
and $eaknesses versus complaining a"out your li!e and "laming others.
%his also doesn=t mean that once you express a $eakness# you keep on
doing it over and over again# and even expect sympathy or understanding
!rom him.
%his also doesn=t mean that you=ll point out every "ig and little !la$ you
!eel you have like saying I
0h do + look !at in this:
My nose is so odd looking9
1'D
+ $ish + $as prettier9
+ $ish + $as younger9
(tc etc.
You get the point + "elieve.
Ho$ever# here are some common road"locks you $ill encounter $hen
trying to use this process in your li!e9
Almost every $oman + kno$ $ishes to !ind someone# she could "e
completely open $ith# and openly share her true thoughts and !eelings.
2ut the issue is that most $omen hold their thoughts "ack. %hey are too
scared to "e completely open# "ecause deep do$n they !ear that# they
might not "e liked i! the guy kno$s everything a"out them.
%his is particularly true in cases $here a $oman tried to open up in the
past# and had to experience a lot o! pain and torture "ecause o! it. May"e
she told a guy something $hich $as used against her# and she $as
mocked a"out it.
0!tentimes# it=s &ust one "ad experience $hich could completely "lock you
!rom ever opening up again. 2ut you have to understand that you can=t
connect $ith a man deeply unless# you !irst open up completely# and
there!ore it=s a risk you should "e $illing to take.
+! you do have very strong "lockers in this department and have trou"le
opening up# here is something $hich $ill help you.
Most o! us have unconscious ha"it patterns# $hich keep us !rom living an
1'F
optimal li!e# and having the "est possi"le relationship $e are capa"le o!
having $ith our partner. 0!ten times# $e are holding on to certain lies
a"out ourselves and certain !alse "elie!s $hich keep us trapped. +t=s really
important to !irst recogniBe these ha"its# and clear them to get the
maximum possi"le &uice !rom your relationships.
)o here is a 8uick exercise $hich $ill help you pin point these unconscious
"elie!s# and $ill also help you in clearing them.
Ste3 1 Determine 1( habits ,o) c)rrentl, have1 -hich are
holding ,o) bac/ -ith men and relationshi3s.
May"e you keep your true !eelings inside $hen you should "e expressing
it# may"e you do something you don=t $ant to do# &ust to please a man or
it could "e any other thing you personally !eel is acting as a road"lock
"et$een you# and happiness $ith your relationships.
3ive it enough time# and thought# it doesn=t &ust need to "e 1G# i! you
have more# then it=s completely okay to come up $ith as many things as
possi"le. %hen# $rite them do$n on a piece o! paper.
Ste3 2 Determine the reason behind these habits. *n other
-ords1 mention -h, ,o) develo3ed these habits or -here the,
came from in the first 3lace.
May"e you said something to a man in the past $hich made him avoid you
completelyL there!ore "ecause o! this occurrence may"e# you are scared o!
openly expressing yoursel!# and hold yoursel! "ack !rom expressing exactly
ho$ you !eel.
14G
ext to each point# provide a reason or a description o! ho$ these ha"its
came into existence.

Ste3 ! Chec/ if these fears are valid or not.
7ust "ecause o! one "ad experience# you can=t conclude that the rest o!
your experiences are going to "e "ad as $ell. %here!ore the next step is to
determine $hether the !ears you=re holding on to# are true or not:
-or example I +! you are scared that i! you say a certain thing# your man
might start disliking you. Ask yoursel! this I Ho$ do you kno$ this $ill
happen: 1hat are the pro"a"ilities that such a thing $ill happen: Do +
kno$ someone $ho has "een in a similar situation# "ut got a di!!erent
result: +! yes# $hat did they do di!!erently !rom me:
Ste3 =hat do * lose if * hold on to these habits?
Make a list o! at least 1G things you can think o! that you $ill lose# i! you
keep on !ollo$ing the same train o! thought. -or example I 5et=s say you
don=t express yoursel! properly $hen your "oy!riend or hus"and does
something you don=t agree $ith# &ust "ecause you don=t $ant to have a
!ight# or piss him o!!.
Here is an example o! $hat you could $rite9
1> +! + keep it all in# +=ll "uild resentment !or my hus"and or "oy!riend over
time# and it $ill ruin our relationship.

'> +! + don=t clearly tell him $hat "others me# then he $ill keep on doing it
and it $ill "other me more $ith time.
141

4> He $ill start to think that +=m okay $ith everything he does# including
the things + hate# &ust "ecause + don=t "ring it up.

)imilarly# you can list as many things as possi"le# in !act# pour your heart
and soul into it. %he more reasons you can !ind# the "etter it $ill "e.

Ste3 " =hat -ill * gain -hen * let these habits go?
ext# you $ill make another list $here you point out exactly $hat you $ill
gain $hen you change your current ha"its. 0nce again# list as many as
possi"le and don=t stop yoursel! any$here# in !act# more $ould "e "etter.

Ste3 $ =hat -o)ld have to ha33en for change to occ)r?
%his is $here you reverse engineer all the actions steps you=ll need to
take# in order to change your present ha"its. +t $ould "e "etter i! you do
this se8uentially as that $ould help you get a more clear idea on exactly#
$hat you must do to "ring a"out positive changes in your ha"its.
)o# !or example# i! you have "een holding on to a !alse "elie! that
disagreeing $ith your partner might lead to con!licts# then !irst determine
$hy you have this "elie!# check $hether this "elie! is valid or not# !ocus on
$hat you=re losing "y holding on to this "elie!# and !inally make a list o! all
the things you=ll gain i! you let go o! this "elie!.
ext determine exactly $hat $ill have to happen !or this "elie! to go a$ay.
A sample list could "e I
1> + need to calmly explain to my partner# that his actions "other me at
14'
times.

'> + need to explain my side o! the story# in a non>threatening and a non>
&udgmental $ay.

4> + need to make him understand that + have a hard time expressing a
disagreement# and !eel a little scared.
And once again# the longer you can make this list# the "etter.

Ste3 % =hat action or a set of actions1 co)ld * ta/e right no-1
-hich -o)ld ta/e me closer to m, goal?
%his is $here the ru""er meets the road# and this is the most important
step o! the $hole process. 2ut# there is something you need to pay very
close attention to here. +=m not asking you to do a lot o! things ratherL +
$ant you to determine a small action or a set o! actions you can take right
no$# $hich $ill take you a little closer to your goal.
)mall is al$ays important# "ecause i! you give yoursel! a huge list o!
things to do and !orce yoursel! to do it# you might succeed !or the !irst !e$
days# "ut eventually you $ill give up. %hat=s "ecause your mind cannot
tackle the nasty !eeling o! over$helm.
2ut# $hen you give yoursel! something really small# and easy# you $ill "e
1G times more like to !ollo$ through $ith it and i! you cut do$n everything
into small# "ite siBed chunks# things $ill "ecome so easy that it $ill !eel
almost e!!ortless.
144
%here!ore# your next task is to determine the !irst step you could take to
get a little closer to your goal. )o# let=s say that you are trying to "ecome
more expressive# and $ant to speak your mind around your partner. %he
!irst step could "e to let your partner kno$ that you $ant to share
something $ith him# and need him to understand your side o! the story.
%he easier you make the !irst step# the more likely you are to act on it#
and achieve the change you desire.
0nce you have acted on the !irst step# determine $hat the next logical
step $ould "e $hich $ould take you another step closer to your goal# and
keep repeating the process till the time you achieve your target.
(ventually# $hat $ill happen $hen you put this advice into action: You $ill
!ind yoursel! en&oying an almost un!air advantage over FFH o! the $omen
out there. You $ill !ind yoursel! connecting $ith men on a level other
$omen can=t even imagine. You $ill never have to play the guessing game
$ith a man# "ecause he $ill openly share everything $ith you# even
$ithout you having to ask.
o$# + $ant to "ring your attention to the topic o! commitment and also
tell you a $eird story. Move on to the next section to discover it.

146
Section 12 =hat Do * Cet *f * Cive 4o) a
Ring?
+ $ant to tell the story o! my craBy !riend. -or privacy reasons# + $on=t
share his name here# so let=s &ust call him my ;craBy !riend<. 1ell# my craBy
!riend is a moderately success!ul guy and has "een in a relationship $ith a
$onder!ul girl# since the last year or so.
He has some issues in his relationship &ust like every other couple# "ut
lately he is dealing $ith the "iggest issue o! it all# or should + say >
according to him it=s a pretty "ig issue. Do you kno$ $hat this issue is:
+t=s the issue o! commitment.
His girl!riend recently asked him a very straight !or$ard 8uestion I 1hen
$ill you give me a ring:
And# do you kno$ ho$ he replied: 1ell# since you read the title o! this
section# you can almost guess $hat +=m a"out to say I +n a very calm and
una!!ected tone he said I 1hat do + get i! + give you a ring:
His girl!riend didn=t understand this ans$erL in !act# she got really angry
and gave him 1G1 reasons $hy he should put a ring around her !inger.
)he reminded him o! everything she had done !or him# she also told him
that this $as the per!ect time to take it the next level# "ecause they had
spent a year together and $ere per!ect !or each other. Ho$ever# $hen
none o! this a!!ected my craBy !riend# she got angry and shouted I +
14@
D()(R,( +% DAM +%N
1ell + "et she deserved it# + mean it=s not easy to deal $ith my craBy
!riend. He isn=t the easiest o! guys to live $ith# and + can actively attest to
this !act. 2ut you see the main issue is this I 7ust "ecause you think
you=ve done enough !or a man# and you "elieve you deserve it# this still
isn=t going to make him commit to you.
Men have a very di!!erent thought process $hen it comes to the su"&ect o!
commitment. -or starters# you are actually asking him to leave his
"oyhood# and enter manhood territory. +n other $ords# you are asking him
to stop "eing a "oy# and "ecome a real man no$. %his isn=t easy !or any
guy.
+n !act# let me reveal some truth to you I +! a man can get all the "ene!its
o! a committed relationship# $ithout any o! the responsi"ilities $hich come
$ith commitment# he $ill choose that deal any day o! the $eek.
%his is another reason $hy so many men# get into temporary relationships#
"ut $ill never take it to the next level# and $ill have a million excuses $hy
they &ust aren=t ready yet.
%he thing isn=t that they aren=t ready# "ut rather deep do$n# they are
really scared o! the unkno$n. %hey !ear that things might change
drastically# i! they !inally take the plunge.
2ut# my !riend taught me a very good lesson# something $hich inspired
me to $rite this section o! this course. His statement $as I 1hat do + get
i! + give you a ring: o$# at !irst it sounds like a very sel!ish statement.
14A
2ut in reality# many men think like this. %hey really do $ant to kno$# $hat
they $ould gain i! they commit# versus $hat they $ould lose.
+! they !eel that they=re going to lose more than they $ould gain# it $ill
al$ays "e a hard decision !or them to commit. )ure# there are some guys
$ho are literal commitment pho"es# "ut the di!!erence "et$een normal
guys $ho aren=t $illing to commit versus commitment pho"es# is that
commitment pho"es# have the same !ears "ut only on a more intense
level.
)o# i! a guy !ears that he might lose his !reedom a!ter commitment# a
commitment pho"ic man goes through this same !ear each and every time
he comes across a girl# in !act# he has his de!enses up even "e!ore he
starts to date a girl. %hat=s the di!!erence "et$een the t$o types.
2ut# +=m not saying that it=s completely impossi"le !or a commitment
pho"ic man# to not commit ever. He $ill commit to any $oman $ho can
help him clear out these unconscious !ears# and sho$ him a "righter light
at the end o! the tunnel.
Also# commitment pho"ia doesn=t happen overnight. +t=s usually due to a
di!!icult experience in the past or childhood $hich made a man put these
$alls up. You must note that these $alls are unconscious# and even the
guy experiencing it# doesn=t kno$ that he has these unconscious "locks in
place.
7ust like i! you $ere attacked "y an angry dog that "it you# or almost "it
you# in the past# no$# every time you $ill come across a dog# your de!ense
mechanism $ill go into overdrive and you $ill unconsciously !eel an
intense sense o! !ear and insecurity around dogs. %his $ill make you either
avoid dogs completely# or you $ill remain super alert around a dog.
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%he thing is that people only get rid o! these unconscious !ears $hen they
$ork $ith a psychologist or a pro!essional consultant. At the same time#
the intensity o! these !ears varies !rom person to person# as $ell.
+ could go on and on a"out this su"&ect# "ut + hope you already get the
point +=m trying to make. Men don=t consciously decide to not commit to a
$oman# $e didn=t come to the $orld $ith a pre>made decision that $hen
$e gro$ up# $e=ll never commit to anyone.
0ur environment# experiences and o"servations shape our "elie! system#
and as you already kno$ our "elie! system usually controls our li!e.
)o no$ let me get to the really good part# let me $alk you through the
exact thought process a man goes through $hen he thinks a"out the
su"&ect o! commitment. +t=s going to "e a story o! our typical "oy and
girl9
A young "oy meets a young girl on a date# he !inds her attractive# and
tells her that he=d like to see her more o!ten. 3irl has her guard up at !irst#
she is a little "a!!led "y this "oy=s sudden charge to$ards her. )he is a
little !lattered# "ut also a little apprehensive. )he doesn=t kno$ i! this "oy
is even a nice guy# or a guy she $ill ever $ish to date.
A!ter all# this girl has "een hurt in the pastL she has experienced the
intense pain that !ollo$s a!ter a "reakup# so she is very scared that history
might repeat itsel!. %he last thing she ever $ants is !or the past to repeat
itsel!# and make her go through the same hell she experienced "ack then.
)o# as time passed "y# the "oy kept trying really hard to lure the girl# he
made all kinds o! promises# he told her that she=s the "est girl he=s ever
14D
come across and ho$ he can see a !uture $ith her# and all the typical
things a "oy usually says to $oo a girl.
%he girl still resisted his attempts# she didn=t $ant him to have an easy
route to her heart# and a!ter all# she understood that i! she let him into her
heart# then she $ould also give him the po$er to hurt her.
Days turned into $eeks# and $eeks turned into months. At this point the
girl had "ecome a lot more open# and a lot more inviting to the advances
o! the "oy. A!ter a !e$ more months o! seeing each other# they "oth
decided that they should move in together.
%he story $as going smoothly &ust like every other story does# !or the !irst
!e$ months. A!ter all# the !irst !e$ months is usually the time# $hen $e
are almost ignorant to our partner=s shortcomings# and only !ocus on their
good ha"its.
7ust like every other relationship# $hen the "oy got too accustomed to the
ha"its# and $ays o! li!e# o! the girl# he started to take her !or granted. He
gave !e$er compliments# he didn=t take her out that o!ten# he didn=t kiss
her enough# there $as literally no !oreplay "e!ore sex and it $as like he
$as running a routine every single day.
%he girl started getting agitated $ith the "oy=s "ehavior# and decided to
call him out on it. At !irst# she $as gentle and tried the normal and calm
communication path# "ut the "oy $as una!!ected. +t $as like# no matter
$hat she said# it $as getting into one o! his ears and going out o! the
other.
%he girl $as angry# she $as "uilding up resentment inside her and she
$anted to "e heard. )he $anted to voice it to the "oy# "ut the "oy $as
14F
only running the drills as usual# and $asn=t even a$are o! $hat $as
"othering the girl so much.
)o then# $hen things got really intense# and the girl couldn=t handle it
anymore# she had a huge !ight $ith the "oy. )he told him everything he
did# $hich "othered her# she told him that she can=t stand ho$ he neglects
her# and a "unch o! other rude things $ere said.
1ell# exactly like any other !ight that couples have. %his couple 8uickly
made up too. %he girl told the "oy that she $as !rustrated# and she didn=t
kno$ o! any other $ay# to voice her opinion "ecause the "oy $as
neglecting her. )o she couldn=t control her anger# and it lead to an
argument.
Ho$ever# she duly apologiBed !or her "ehavior# and promised that in the
!uture she $ould &ust try to talk to him in a very calm $ay. %hey kissed
and made up# and things $ere normal again.
%hings $ere normal a $hile until one day# the girl $as !ired !rom her &o"#
it $as a very silly mistake she made# $hich caused irrepara"le damages to
the company. )o they had to let her go# $ithout any notice. )he $as in a
lot o! pain# and came "ack home in hopes that she $ould discuss this $ith
the "oy# and may"e !eel "etter a"out it all.
)he told the "oy and he $as surprised# he couldn=t 8uite understand $hat
happened "ut the girl clearly stated that it $as her !ault# and no$ she is
out o! a &o". %he "oy said that she shouldn=t $orry as he $ould support
her !inancially# till the time she !inds another &o".
2ut this $asn=t enough !or the girl# she started complaining a"out ho$
there $as a conspiracy against her# ho$ some o! her colleagues a"solutely
16G
hate her# and ho$ she &ust hated that place any$ay# and ho$ she hopes
that the $hole company goes "ankrupt and they all "urn in hell.
%his $ent on !or many hours# and then eventually# they $ent to "ed.
)everal days passed# and the girl started applying !or ne$ &o"s. )he $as
sending out one resume a!ter another# "ut she $asn=t getting any
intervie$ invites.
)he $as really enthusiastic a"out !inding $ork !or the !irst !e$ $eeks# "ut
a!ter that# it seemed like she had settled into this routine o! staying at
home# and $atching %, all day long. +t $as "ecome an everyday routine
!or her $here# she $ould $ake up# make "reak!ast !or her "oy!riend# $ave
him good"ye !or $ork# and then sit in !ront o! the %, and do nothing else.
0ne evening $hen the "oy $as planning a night out $ith his "uddies# the
girl said I 1hy don=t you ever take me out: + $ant to go $ith you as $ell.
%his is a "oy=s only night# said the "oy# "ut the girl $anted to go at any
possi"le cost.
)o she !orced the guy# and "othered him till the point he !inally agreed to
take her out. %he situation got really a$k$ard "ecause there $ere A guys
playing cards $ith each other# $hile the girl sat "et$een them ya$ing and
saying I ;%his is so "oring# is this all you guys do# every $eek:<
%he girl didn=t kno$ this# "ut the "oy !elt like his !reedom $as "eing taken
a$ay !rom him. He !elt a little trapped# "ecause he $as !orced to do
something he didn=t $ant to do# and on top o! that all his !riends gave him
!unny looks# and pro"a"ly said $eird things a"out him "ehind his "ack.
onetheless# a!ter more $eeks passed "y# the "oy !elt the "urden o!
handling her !inances# they $ere running short each month# and started
161
"eing "ehind# $ith their "ills and other expenses. %he "oy $anted to tell
the girl to get a &o"# "ut he kne$ that it $ould "e too rude i! he $as too
direct a"out it.
)o# he decided to indirectly ask her to get a &o". He told her that he has a
"unch o! "ills piled up and doesn=t have enough money saved up. %his
made the girl really angry as she understood the point he $as trying to
make.
)he said I ;You are asking me to get a &o" aren=t you: You already kno$
ho$ many places +=ve applied to# "ut nothing has $orked !or me so !ar.
You already kno$ ho$ hard +=m trying# right:<
At this the "oy tauntingly said I ;1ell# all + really see you do no$adays# is
sit in !ront o! the %, all day long. +! you spend that time doing more
productive things# then you=ll pro"a"ly get a &o" !aster.<
And as usual this lead to another huge argument# and they said many
rude things to each other once again. )o !ar it all seems like your typical
story right: 1ell# let me tell you $here things really started to take shape.
A !e$ years passed "y# the girl got an amaBing ne$ &o" at a "igger
company# they "oth $ere doing really $ell !inancially# and they even
"ought a ne$ car. 0ne day $hile cuddling late at night# the girl started
having certain thoughts. )he thought that it has "een a pretty long time
since +=ve "een $ith this "oy.
+ kno$ him really $ell# and he kno$s me really $ell too. May"e this is the
right time to ask him to progress things to the next level. )o she indirectly
suggested this "y asking him > $hat he thought a"out kids and marriage.
%he "oy kne$ $hat she $as trying to hint.
16'
%he "oy sho$ed no real interest in that conversation# and tried to change
the topic. %he girl didn=t understand this# so she 8uickly said I You love
me right: 0! course# said the "oy. + love you more than anything.
)o# $hy $on=t you marry me already I said the girl.
1ell# + don=t think this is the right time to get married. + $ant to $ait a
little more till +=m more !inancially sta"le. %he girl thought this $as a
genuine statementL she didn=t !or one minute think that the "oy $as
making an excuse.
2ut here is the kicker I Do you even kno$ $hat the "oy $as thinking at
this point: %he moment the girl mentioned the topic o! commitment# all
the old memories o! her popped up in his mind. He remem"ered all those
old arguments and !ights.
He remem"ered ho$ the girl $as careless $hen it came to !inding a &o"#
and ho$ she didn=t deal $ith trou"led times in a sta"le $ay. He
remem"ered ho$ she used to get emotionally upset over small things# and
struggled to properly resolve issues.
And then the "oys mind made a calculation. %his is $hat it concluded I +!
she is this unsta"le and di!!icult to deal $ith right no$# ho$ "ad is it going
to "e $hen $e !inally marry: Ho$ much o! a mess is she going to "e
then: )he doesn=t let me hang out $ith my "uddiesL + $onder ho$ "adly
$ill she trap me# $hen $e are o!!icially married:
And this is $here the "oy made one excuse a!ter another# "ut never $ent
164
ahead $ith commitment. And here is the other interesting "it I All this
happened unconsciously. 1henever he heard the $ord commitment# his
"ody !elt this sudden &olt o! depressing emotions# $hich !orced him to
either make an excuse# or change the su"&ect altogether.
%his might sound a little $eird to you# "ut this is exactly ho$ guys think I
%hey take into account everything you do# and !orm a very long conclusion
on $hether marrying you $ill add something to their li!e or take
something a$ay. Commitment is never an overnight decision !or them#
they take into account every little to "ig experience they shared $ith you#
and take it all into consideration.
%hey think o!ten in terms o! ho$ it $ill pan out over the next !e$ years >
1ill it "e a decision they $ill cele"rate !or years to come or# $ill it "e a
decision they $ould regret !or the rest o! their li!e:
Humans are naturally $ired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. +! the idea o!
committing to you triggers very pain!ul !eelings in his "ody# then he $ill do
his very "est to not commit to you# $hatsoever.
+n addition to this# there is a "igger !ear > %he !ear o! having kids $ith
you# "ecause our culture has hard$ired into our "rain that having children
means responsi"ility# lots o! attention# and care. 0n top o! that# i! he !ears
that you aren=t the right choice !or him# then having a child $ith you $ill
scare the air out o! him.
Also# + need to mention something $ithout "eing politically correct# please
don=t hate me !or this. +n a $orst case scenario# the $oman gets more
rights than the man does. %his is pro"a"ly the main reason $hy many
men pre!er prenups "e!ore marriage# no$adays.
166
+ mean# really try to see things !rom a man=s point o! vie$ I +! there $as
ever a situation# $here you t$o decide to divorce each other# then you get
o!!icial rights to a part o! his !inances# real estate and other things.
+magine having to $ork really hard all your li!e to make all this money#
only to lose it again out o! the "lue:
Again# +=m not de!ending the male side here# nor am + saying it=s $rong !or
a man to share his !inances $ith his $i!e. +n !act# she deserves every
penny i! he has "een at !ault.
2ut# this is a very valid !ear# and is one o! the !ears $hich keeps a man
!rom ever committing to a $oman he loves and even completely adores.
?lus another possi"le reason could "e that your man had a very "ad
experience in the past# $here he put his mind# heart# "ody and soul into a
relationship# only to !ace a horri"le divorce or "reakup $here it $asn=t his
!ault. 7ust like + mentioned some time ago# i! you have "een "urned in the
past once# then you $ill "e very care!ul $ith putting yoursel! in a similar
situation again.
0kay# + "elieve you get my point# and understand in very clear terms all
the "ig and small reasons $hy men are a!raid o! commitment# "ut don=t
lose hope yet. + have only sho$n you one side o! the story. %his doesn=t
mean that men are completely incapa"le o! commitment. +n !act# i! you do
everything right# then your man $ill "e the one desperately trying to get
you to commit# instead o! you "eing the one trying to !orce him.
)o# ho$ do + make him commit: 1ell# it=s a very good 8uestion# and +
have a very simple ans$er. +n !act# it=s &ust one sentence I ;A man $ill
commit# the moment he is convinced that "eing $ith you# $ill add a lot o!
pleasure to his li!e# rather than take something a$ay !rom it.<
16@
And this is it.
+ call this hitting the s$eet spot in his "rain# and i! you remem"erL $e
have already discussed the s$eet spot o! desire in the previous sections.
)o# $hat happens $hen you hit this s$eet spot: He $ill see committing to
you as a logical and $ise decision# and $ill even !eel amaBing in the
process o! doing it. ot &ust this# he $ill see you as his one and only
choice# and $ill !eel a "ond $ith you so intense# that he $on=t think o!
committing to any other $oman "ut you.
At this point# + need to explain something even more important. -rom my
experience# +=ve o"served that most $omen try to !ollo$ the old route o! >
i! + $ait !or him long enough# he=d !inally come "ack to his senses# and $ill
commit to me. 1ell the truth is that he $on=t# and once these $omen
realiBe that all their e!!orts haven=t produced the !ruit they $ere seeking#
they !reak out and try to !orce# !ight or argue $ith a guy to make him
commit. And this leads to something + call9
The 7egative emotions over-helm.
%his is &ust a !ancy term !or saying that $hen you push a guy hard
enough# and long enough# he is "ound to !eel over$helmed and since you
"ecome the source $hich triggers that !eeling o! negative over$helm# in
his mind# he $ill do everything in his po$er to avoid you.
A man $on=t commit $hen he is under pressure# rather# he $ill !eel
massively trapped. He $ill !ear that his sense o! !reedom is at stake# and
16A
$hen there is a competition "et$een "eing committed to someone versus
his personal !reedom# he $ill al$ays choose personal !reedom F times out
o! 1G.
%he "iggest dra$"ack o! all this is that# he is taking all your "ehavior into
account# and !orming an even stronger case against committing to you
unconsciously. )o i! you $ant him to commit# you need to avoid negative
emotion over$helm at all possi"le costs# and hit his emotional s$eet spot.
2ut# ho$ do you do it: +=ll explain the process in a moment# "ut "e!ore
that + need to share a very interesting story $ith you# this story $ill
explain exactly ho$ you can make a guy not &ust commit to you# "ut
literally scream to the $orld that you "elong to him and only him. %his
story also contains some very deep and insight!ul lessons# there!ore pay
very close attention.
+ $as recently contacted "y a client over email !or some relationship help.
-or privacy reasons# let=s call her )amantha. )amantha told me that she
didn=t 8uite understand her situation# as the man in 8uestion $as the one
$ho chased her around !or a very long time# used to send !lo$ers to her
$orkplace and literally "ent over "ack$ards asking her to give him one
chance.
A!ter giving him a !e$ chances# )amantha realiBed that there $as much
more to this man than $hat $as visi"le on the sur!ace level. +n !act# this
guy had a personality to himsel!# $hich $as hard to match !or many
average guys out there. %hey $ent out !or 8uite a $hile# and everything
$as amaBing.
%hen one day# this guy told )amantha that he !elt he $as in love $ith her#
and can=t keep her out o! his mind. )amantha loved the !act that this guy
$as really expressive# and didn=t keep his !eelings "ottled up like other
16C
guys. )o she reciprocated $ith !ull !orce# and kne$ that they have a very
"right !uture together.
2ut as usual# there $as a pro"lem# in !act# a "ig one. %his guy $ould
al$ays say that he loved her to "its# "ut $henever she asked him a"out
the su"&ect o! commitment# he couldn=t handle it. %he oddest thing $as#
that he $as already treating her like she $as his o!!icial girl!riend "ut
$asn=t ready to put an o!!icial la"el on it.
A!ter !eeling a"solutely !rustrated# she told him that she can=t "e $ith him
like this# and "roke it o!!. )he also told him that i! he $ants to "e in her
li!e# then he needs to make up his mind a"out her. )o in a nutshell# she
gave him an ultimatum.
2ut# do ultimatums $ork: +! you $ere to ask me I %hey could $ork# "ut
only !or a $hile. 5et me tell you $hy. %hey $ork "ecause it creates a
strong sense o! loss in a man=s mind# $here he !ears# that i! he doesn=t
commit# he might lose you !orever. 2ut this is $here he $ould say or do
anything to keep you in his li!e and this includes commitment as $ell.
2ut you see# this isn=t genuine commitment# rather this is $hat + call
sur!ace level commitment. %he kind o! commitment $hich is there# "ut
isn=t there. +t=s the type o! commitment $hich only exists on paper and not
in reality.
5et me explain I 1hen a guy commits to you out o! !ear# then# you have
his approval# "ut not his heart. He $ill still not o!!er his complete support#
love and commitment $hen he is under the in!luence o! !ear. %his is the
reason $hy giving ultimatums can actually $ork against you# and make a
guy hate you even more.
16D
)o a!ter )amantha gave this guy the !inal $ord# she instantly emailed me#
and asked me $hat her next logical step should "e. )he $as a little scared
o! her o$n decision. )he didn=t $ant to lose this guy.
+ asked her to tell me the $hole story# !rom the "eginning till the end#
including# all the little to "ig details. 2ecause a!ter several years in this
industry# + kno$ the devil usually resides in the details. +t=s never the "ig
things rather# the small things $hich make the "ig di!!erence.
%he more she told me the more it all started to make sense. +n !act# +
could see exactly $hat she did or $here she $ent $rong# ho$ever# these
mistakes $eren=t o"vious to her "ecause no one had ever analyBed her
actions in this much depth.
Here $as the interesting "it I 2e!ore she gave this guy a chance# she
presented hersel! as this highly intelligent# attractive# calm# con!ident and
secure $oman. )he $as never eager to hear !rom him# nor $as she too
eager to respond to his advances. )o# she $as also playing a little "it hard
to get# and $as acting like a challenge.
2ut# things changed drastically $hen she !inally let this guy into her li!e.
%he pro"lem $as that she "ecame a little too eagerL she started seeking
his attention# $hich soon turned into seeking his approval.
%hen she automatically assumed that since he $as the one pursuing her#
he must "e dying to "e her "oy!riend. 1ell# this $asn=t really the case.
And even i! this $as the case# the man changed his decision very 8uickly.
You see# she presented a di!!erent version o! hersel! at the very early
16F
stagesL this $as the version o! hersel! that this man !elt attracted to# and
loved. 2ut $ith time# she had given a$ay most o! that po$er "y turning
into this $oman# $ho $as a little needy and a little too eager !or his
acceptance.
)o# this made all the gears shi!t in the man=s head and he must have
thought to himsel! I 1ait a minute# this isn=t the same girl + $as attracted
to. +n !act# this is not the deal + signed up !or. )he isn=t the same person
she used to "e at the early stages o! the relationship.
)o no$# instead o! turning up his emotional attraction# she $as the source
o! repulsion $hich kept this guy in the Bone o! con!usion $here he
couldn=t make up his mind.
)o# + asked )amantha to do the exact opposite o! $hat she $as doing
right no$.
+nstead o! giving a$ay her po$er and acting like this guy meant
everything to her# + asked her to take a !e$ steps "ack and relax a little. +
asked her to stop "eing so eager to hear !rom him# and to stop looking up
to him !or acceptance.
%he next time he called her# she $asn=t too eager to respond right a$ay.
)he took longer than normal to respond to his emails# as $ell. +ndirectly
she $as demonstrating that she isn=t in the needy mentality anymore# and
her li!e doesn=t revolve around him.
)urprisingly# the more she pulled "ack the more emails he started to send#
and the more he started to call her.
1@G
ext# + asked her to pay attention to her actions. )he didn=t kno$ this# "ut
her neediness and desperation $ere controlling her actions. )he $as doing
things unconsciously# $hich clearly demonstrated ho$ desperate she $as
!or him.
%hings like checking her email several times a day# to see i! he le!t a
message# calling him too much and trying to !ocus on his li!e $ay more
than usual. + told her to recall all the things she did "e!ore she met this
guy versus all the things she is doing no$. %hen + asked her to notice ho$
di!!erent her actions $ere no$# in comparison to the past.
ext# + told her to !ocus on her o$n li!e more# instead o! $ondering $hat
this guy $as doing all the time. %his gave her more emotional po$er# and
she started to !eel a lot more secure $ith hersel!.
%hen# + sho$ed her ho$ she $as unconsciously pressuring the guy into
commitment $ithout realiBing it. )ince she $as expecting commitment#
she $as unconsciously saying or doing things $hich $ere making this man
really uncom!orta"le in her presence# and she $as coming across as highly
demanding in the process.
%his $as pro"a"ly the "iggest ;AHA< !or her. )he told me that she had
never really thought o! it like that "ecause unconsciously# she assumed
that since he liked her so much# he must "e super eager to take things to
the next level.
)o# she understood that may"e her expectations $ere a little too pre>
mature and even unrealistic# since she assumed many things on her o$n.
)he took all my advice into account# and care!ully $orked on "ringing
a"out changes in her personality. And this is $hat happened next9
1@1
1henever the guy called her# she never put o!! other things to &ust speak
to him. )he told him that she $as "usy# and $ill "e happy to talk to him
later Oshe never used to do this in the pastP. ext# she completely stopped
calling and texting him# and made him initiate everything# in other $ords#
she demonstrated that she isn=t desperate anymore.
)he paid a lot more attention to her o$n personality# and groomed hersel!
to look and "e her "est# not "ecause she $anted to $oo this guy all over
again# "ut "ecause she $as completely com!orta"le $ith hersel! and
$anted to snap "ack into her old con!ident persona.
And the "iggest change $as ho$ she communicated $ith the guy no$. +n
the past# she used to end up in arguments $ith this man over many issues
and used to get annoyed or angry very easily. 2ut no$# she acted like she
$as a rock in the storm and maintained a very positive persona.
1henever she spoke to him# she radiated this con!ident# positive side to
hersel!. )he never asked him $hat he $as doing in his li!e# or $hether he
$as dating someone else or not. +n short# she $as demonstrating that she
isn=t her old negative and nagging sel! anymore# and is very secure in her
o$n li!e.
1hat do you think this did: 1ell# no priBes !or guessing here. %his very
man $ho $asn=t sure# i! commitment $as the right choice# or not# literally
"egged )amantha# to give him another chance and "e his o!!icial girl!riend
again.
+n !act# he !elt like he $as lucky to have a $oman like this in his li!e# and
treated her like a "ig priBe he a"solutely adores and cherishes.
%his is exactly $hat + call hitting the s$eet spot in his "rain. 1hat
1@'
)amantha did# made this guy !eel like commitment $as something $hich
$ill "ring a great deal o! pleasure to his li!e# and $ill add a lot to it in the
long run.
)o in short# i! you $ant a guy to shed his commitment pho"ia# and commit
to you $ith all his heart and soul# you need to do 4 very simple things9
1# Act li/e ,o) are com3letel, sec)re -ith or -itho)t him.
1hen you don=t depend on a guy !or happiness# you $on=t ever appear
desperate or needy around him. Rather# you $ill radiate a strong energy
$hich $ill make him !eel really good in your presence# and $hen you are
secure $ith yoursel!# a man $ill !eel completely secure "eing around you
all the time.
2# Demonstrate that ,o) are inde3endent.
He needs to kno$ that you $ould like him to commit# "ut don=t a"solutely
need him to do it. +n other $ords# he needs to kno$ that i! he doesn=t
$ant you in his li!e# then it=s not the end all or "e all !or you. You don=t
depend on his approval# or acceptance to !eel good a"out yoursel! or your
li!e.
%his also sho$s him that you aren=t going to trap or cage him. You aren=t
trying to make him do something he doesn=t $ant to doL rather# you are
letting him have complete !reedom to make up his o$n mind a"out you.
As long as a guy kno$s that his girl is needy or too dependent on him# he
$ill !eel trapped. 2ut $hen he kno$s that his girl is completely
independent# he $ill !eel the need to trap her. Can you really see the
di!!erence here:
1@4
!# Demonstrate a ver, 3ositive mindset.
%his isn=t an easy thing to do# especially $hen things aren=t going in your
!avor. 2ut let me tell you $hy this is more important# than anything else
you=ve learned so !ar. Remem"er that $e=ve already discussed that
humans are driven "y t$o things I pleasure and pain:
1e are naturally dra$n to$ards things $hich give us massive pleasure#
and avoid things $hich give us pain. )o# i! you "ecome someone $ho nags
a lot# remains negative# and turns into an overall mess# he $ill naturally
!eel "urdened in your presence. +n other $ords# you $ill trigger negative
!eelings in his mind# and he $ill seek to actively avoid you at all possi"le
costs. Commitment $ould "e the last thing on his mind $hen he is dealing
$ith a negative $oman.

B)t -hat if * do ever,thing right and he still doesn>t commit?
Then -hat?
1ell# in that case you are dealing $ith the $orst case o! commitment
pho"ia# and you have to understand that it=s not your !ault. +t=s &ust
un!ortunate that you ended up $ith such a man. )uch men need a lot o!
counseling# and psychological help to clear the unconscious "lockers $hich
are keeping them !rom opening up# and expressing themselves completely.
You see# there is another pro"lem $ith such men# neither $ould they
commit to you# nor can they let you go. Con!using right: 1ell# their !ears
attached $ith the idea o! commitment are !ar too strong and !ar too deep#
this is $hy they !ind it hard to commit# "ut at the same time# they also
!ear "eing a"andoned.
)o# they $ould keep you in this Bone o! con!usion# $here they $ill delay
everything. %hey $on=t completely say yes to you# and also $on=t
1@6
completely say no. +! you are stuck $ith such a man# then the "est course
o! action is to !irst explicitly state exactly $hat he is doing# and ho$ it is
harming you.
ext# ask him i! he $ould "e $illing to $ork through these issues or i! he
is open to accepting the idea that he has a pro"lem $hich needs to "e
resolved: +! he is an open man# he $ill $illingly o"lige# "ut i! not# then it=s
your moral responsi"ility to distance yoursel! !rom such a man.
2ecause# the longer you $ait hoping and praying that he $ill change his
mind a"out you# the more time you $ill $aste and as $e all kno$# the
most important thing in our li!e is time. 2ecause# the time $hich is $asted#
$ill never come "ack.
)o# here is $hat you should do next# $ithout telling him anything# decide
internally ho$ much time you can a!!ord to give him to make up his mind
a"out you I May"e a month# a couple o! months and i! you are really
generous# may"e more. 2ut make sure you have a deadline in mind.
%he key here is to not announce to him# $hat is cooking in your head. And
$ith time# start making e!!orts to distance yoursel! little "y little !rom him.
Don=t distance yoursel! too much that it "ecomes overly o"vious# "ut
enough that he notices that things are starting to change a little no$.
(ventually# i! he still doesn=t sho$ any real interest in a commitment to
you# and you are nearing your deadline# drop all contact# and make
attempts to move on $ith your li!e.
And this "rings me to another pressing issue# the issue o! "reakups. Move
on to the next section to discover it.

1@@
Section 1! =hat To Do =hen ;e 6eaves 4o)
9or Someone +lse?
+ $ant to make an em"arrassing admission hereL do you kno$ that +=m a
total expert $hen it comes to the topic o! "reakups# and getting dumped:
Did you kno$ that my primary motivation to get into the relationship
advice industry $as to help people mend their hearts# a!ter a "reakup:
+ have "een through all kinds o! pain it is humanly possi"le to experience.
Depression and trauma $ere my "est companions !or many years. At one
point# + struggled to even hear# read or $atch anything "reakup related as
it used to trigger some un"eara"le !eelings in my mind and "ody.
-eelings $hich used to push me into this perpetual Bone o! depression#
and the harder + used to attempt to get out# the deeper + used to !ind
mysel! sinking into it.
Heck# + "elieve + deserve a "ig medal !or dragging mysel! out o! it# and it=s
a miracle in itsel!# that + have !inally managed to get my li!e "ack in order
"ecause "ack in that time# + couldn=t see mysel! having a !uture
$hatsoever. My mind had convinced me that perpetual depression $as my
only !riend# and it $as going to stay $ith me !or the rest o! my li!e.
2eing dumped hurts# especially $hen the one you love sho$s no concern
!or your !eelings# and happily gets another partner as i!# you $ere never a
part o! their li!e to "egin $ith. 2ut + didn=t create this course to $hine or
complain a"out ho$ someone pulled my heart out# and "roke it into a
million pieces.
1@A
Ho$ever# + did create it to share all the use!ul insights and lessons +
received along the $ay. %hese insights $ill help you get an upper hand#
even i! you $ere dumped and your "oy!riend or hus"and has a ne$
$oman in his li!e.
%he !irst thing +=d usually ask you to do# is !igure out $hy your partner le!t#
"ut $ithout going into too many details# there are only one o! t$o reasons
$hy your man le!t you !or someone else. +t $as either that you made a
mistake or cheated on him or you $ere no longer the source o!
pleasura"le !eelings to him.
/sually# the latter is the most common reason $hy he decided to leave
you. )ure# you can !ill "et$een the lines here# and come up $ith all the
things you said or did $hich might have "een a contri"uting !actor "ehind
$hy he le!t you.
2ut the "ottom line still is that you over time# you spoke or acted in $ays
$hich made him see you as a source o! negativity rather than a source o!
positivity. %his is "y !ar the simplest explanation + can give you "ehind
$hy# men decide to leave the $omen they love.
o$ the "ig 8uestion is I Ho$ do you re>attract him and "ring him "ack
into your li!e: 1ell# not so !ast tiger# +=ll get to that su"&ect in a moment#
"ut "e!ore that you need to cross a long list o! hurdles.
And this is $here + !eel it=s appropriate to share some very pro!ound
insights $ith you.
Big insight <1 +03ectations are ,o)r greatest enem,1 the, are
the so)rce of all 3ain and miser,
1@C
;+ kno$ he $ill come "ack. He can=t move on &ust like that# + kno$ him.
He has done this in the past as $ell# he $ill have his me time and come
running "ack to me.<
Ho$ can you "e so sure# + asked:
1ell# + kno$9+ &ust kno$.
%his is the conversation + had $ith a lady $ho $as sitting around in hopes
that her "oy!riend o! 4 years# $ho recently dumped her !or no apparent
reason# $ill come "ack to her.
Days turned into $eeks and $eeks turned into months# "ut she never
heard !rom him. )o no$# not only did she have to deal $ith all that
"reakup "aggage# "ut she also !elt stupid !or sitting around# and $asting
all this time living in !alse hope.
o$# +=m not saying that i! your man has le!t you# there is a"solutely no
chance o! reconciliation. 1hat +=m rather saying# is that you can=t repair
your emotions# as long as you are expecting something# !rom your so
called ex.
You should hope !or the "est# "ut al$ays prepare !or the $orst. Having
expectations only means that you are shooting rockets o! !alse hope in the
sky# hoping that they $ill someho$ land on target. 2ut# the chances o!
that are very little to none.
And the most important thing to note here is that# you don=t control your
ex=s thoughts or reactions. You don=t kno$ $hat he is thinking or doing
right no$. You could "e here assuming that he is thinking a"out you# or
1@D
may"e even missing you# $hile he is out there having loads o! !un $ith his
ne$ lady love.
+ mean# you &ust never kno$.
)o# am + saying that you should not expect anything !rom your ex: 1ell#
currently yes# that=s exactly $hat +=m suggesting that you should do. 1hy:
1ell simply "ecause as long as you hold on to an expectation# you $on=t
let yoursel! heal properly. %his means# that you are making a conscious
decision to hold on to all the pains# and hurts that your partner has caused
you# and aren=t ready to let it go.
And this has an even more adverse e!!ect on you# as time passes "y#
"ecause# your pain $ill intensi!y and you $ill !ind yoursel! getting $eaker
and $eaker. Meeping an expectation is like holding on to hot coal# and
expecting it to not "urn your hand.
+t $ill "urn your hand as long as you hold on to it# the only $ay to get
some relie!# is to drop it and let your hand heal naturally.
At this point you must "e thinking I 2uy heyN 1e are meant to "e
together# he is my one and only love. 1ell + think this is the right time to
mention the second very important insight9

Big insight <2 The conce3t of FT;+ O7+G is a m,th.
+ hold movies strongly responsi"le !or this. + don=t even kno$ ho$ many
movies +=ve seen right since childhood# $here t$o people !all hard !or each
1@F
other# then circumstances make them gro$ apart# $hen they are apart#
they realiBe ho$ much they truly $ant each other# and in the process they
!ight the $orld and !inally re>unite at the end o! the movie.
5et me give you a good amount o! reality I %he concept o! that special
person is a myth. +! it $as a !act# then no one $ill ever date anyone other
than# their !irst and only love.
o one $ill ever divorce# and no matter ho$ a$!ul the situation is# people
$ill still try to make it $ork &ust "ecause they hold on to the !alse hope
that there is only that one special person !or them# $ho they are a per!ect
match $ith.
May"e you "roke up !or a reason# may"e you $ere meant to !ind someone
$ay "etter and $ay smarter than your ex. + mean# you don=t kno$ $hat
the !uture holds !or you. You can=t sit there and conclude that &ust "ecause
you clicked really $ell $ith this person# that this is the "est you can do#
and this is $hat you should hold on to and !ight !or.
And this "rings me to the next important insight9

Big insight <! 4o) can>t convince ,o)r e0 to feel love for ,o)
again5
?eople $ho "elieve in the myth o! ;%H( 0(< are o!ten $illing to do
$hatever it takes to get their ex "ack# even i! it means# trying to convince
them to like them "ack. You can=t &ust talk him into liking you "ack again#
he has to !eel it.
As you already kno$# logic doesn=t $ork $hen it=s a matter o! emotions.
(motions $ill al$ays out$eigh logic# in every situation and every single
time. Your ex didn=t logically decide to stop liking you# he didn=t logically
1AG
decide to &ust a"andon you out o! the "lue# and !ind someone else.
+t $as all an unconscious process# and his emotions $ere directing his
actions in the process. (ventually# $hen things got really "ad# and his
!eelings shi!ted !rom liking you# to almost hating you# he !elt that the "est
course o! action !rom there on $as to let you go.
You can=t talk your ex into $anting you again# and i! you attempt to# you
$ill only push him !urther a$ay# $hich "rings me to my 6
th
most important
insight9
Big insight < =hen -e can>t have something -e desire1 it
becomes more val)able to )s than it reall, is5
Does this sound a little con!using: 1ell# let me explain !urther. 1hen you
had your ex# or lived $ith your ex# you used to o"serve him as a $hole
package. %hat is I You understood $hat $as $rong $ith him# and you
also understood $hat $as right $ith him.
You pro"a"ly liked some aspects o! him# and a"solutely hated other
aspects. %here $ere even times $hen you &ust took him !or granted# and
there $ere also times $hen you didn=t give him a lot o! attention.
2ut you see something really strange happens $hen $e go through a
"reakup# and aren=t allo$ed access to that person anymore. 0ur "rain
suddenly shi!ts into an overdrive mode# and makes us experience these
over po$ering !eelings# $hich makes us desperate !or our ex.
And not &ust this# the $eirdest thing is that# $e !orget everything $e used
to hate a"out our ex# someho$# it all simply goes out o! the $indo$ and
1A1
all $e really notice is their good side. 2ut# this is only the "eginning o! the
story.
-irst# you miss everything your ex "rought into your li!e# and then you !eel
&ealous that some other girl is going to get# all that !rom him no$# and not
you. %hen you vividly imagine him going out $ith some other girl# you
imagine her hugging his "ody# kissing his lips# $hile your "ody $ells up
$ith a montage o! pain!ul emotions.
May"e you try to date# "ut since you are so stuck on your ex# you start
comparing any ne$ guy $ith your ex. %hen# you unconsciously think a"out
ho$ your ex used to do this# or that# and ho$ he used to "e good $ith
certain things# and ho$ he used to make you !eel so amaBing $hich this
ne$ guy you recently met# can never ever do.
1ell# the reality is that may"e this ne$ guy is capa"le o! doing much more
than your ex ever did# "ut since you are !eeling so stuck $ith the image o!
your ex# you $ill ignore everything else# and this "rings me to our next
very "ig insight9

Big insight <" A brea/)3 ma/es ,o) blind1 and ,o) can>t see
things ho- the, tr)l, are5
%his is pro"a"ly the "iggest dra$"ack o! a "reakup. You lose track o!
reality# and end up developing this unconscious !ilter $hich changes ho$
you see# hear and o"serve everything around you. You start thinking in
extreme terms rather than# realistic terms.
You start assuming that since you are in pain right no$# this is only going
to get $orse $ith time# and i! + $as to "e honest $ith you# !or the !irst
!e$ $eeks a!ter a "reakup# the pain only intensi!ies or gets $orse. +t only
1A'
eases out later on.
Your mind starts shi!ting its o$n gears# and it comes up $ith really a$!ul
conclusions. Conclusions such as I 5ook at ho$ much pain you are !eeling
$ithout your ex# he $as the only source o! happiness !or you# and
there!ore# you must get him "ack to !eel normal again.
)o no$# you &ust don=t try to get your ex "ack "ecause you $ant to. You
start literally depending on your ex# "ecause you !eel that only his
presence can help you get rid o! this pain. )o in other $ords# you turn into
this person# $ho is at the complete mercy o! her ex# and this "rings me to
my next very "ig insight9

Big insight <$ 8ain ma/es ,o) need, and neediness 3)shes
,o)r e0 f)rther a-a,5
1hat happens $hen you have a massive headache: You take a pill# and
then it=s gone. 2ut# $hat i! this headache only goes a$ay !or a $hile# "ut#
comes "ack later# $ith even more intensity: %hen $hat:
1ell# then you take another pill to give yoursel! temporary relie!.
%his is exactly $hat happens in a "reakup situation as $ell. You struggle
to handle the constant pain# and you "elieve that your ex is your only
relie!. 2ut# you also kno$ that it=s not a permanent solution# since your ex
isn=t in your li!e anymore.
)o# you strongly seek temporary solutions# may"e you try to call him# text
him# email him# look him up on -ace"ook and i! you are really desperate#
1A4
then may"e you even drive "y his house# $ork place or usual hang out
spots.
+n other $ords# you are looking !or a temporary !ix# some piece o!
in!ormation $hich $ill tell you that your ex still misses you# you seek
something to con!irm that may"e he still $ants you "ack. )ometimes#
things $ork out in your !avor# and your ex texts you out o! the "lue# asking
you ho$ you=ve "een:
You get an instant release o! tension# and !eel literally euphoric $ithin a
matter o! a !e$ minutes. At the "ack o! your mind you think I )ee# + kne$
he still $ants me# + kne$ he $ill come "ack.
And you sit there hoping# that things are going to change !rom this point
on# only to realiBe that it $as &ust a courtesy call# and your ex $as &ust
checking up on you to see# i! you $ere alright or not. o$# since you sa$
a little light at the end o! the tunnel# you make it your li!e mission to try
harder.
Conse8uently# you start initiating calls or texts again. )ometimes your ex
responds# and at other times you don=t hear !rom him !or several days.
2ut# your only hope o! relie! is $hen you hear !rom him. 1hen you do#
you !eel a little !ine "ut $hen you don=t# you !reak out and !ind yoursel!
sinking deeper and deeper# into the pool o! depression.
Heck# + have personally done things +=m not too proud o!# &ust "ecause +
couldn=t handle my o$n "reakup. + used to sit on my laptop !or most part
o! the day# and used to re!resh the page every !e$ seconds in hopes that
my ex $ould leave me a message. %he $eird thing $as that + $asn=t doing
this !or a !e$ hoursL + $as rather doing it all day long. + kno$# it sounds
$eird# "ut pain makes you do really strange things.
1A6
Ho$ever# here is the "ig issue I 1hen your ex contacts you# they are
opening a $indo$. %hey are indirectly telling you I )ho$ me that you
have changed# sho$ me that you aren=t the same old person anymore.
2ut# i! you are needy or desperate# you $ill unconsciously do things $hich
$ill send out a very strong negative vi"e# and this "rings me to the C
th

most important insight9

Big insight <% 4o)r e0 -ill onl, come bac/ -hen he is read,
and ,o) indirectl, control this decision5
1ell there isn=t a $ay to per!ectly monitor $hen your ex $ill change his
mind and come "ack to you.
You can=t predict $hen he $ill "e ready# "ut you can de!initely do things to
speed up the process. 1omen o!ten come to me and tell me things like I
;0h# my hus"and !ell out o! love# and $ants to "reak up $ith me# or he
doesn=t !eel any attraction !or me anymore# so he dumped me.<
%he truth is that he &ust didn=t !all out o! love# i! there $as a point $hen
he used to love you# then you can still get it all "ack. 5et me explain this
!urther > %he Human mind is a po$erhouse. You might not "elieve this#
"ut it retains everything# every memory# every emotion and every past
experience. +! you can imagine a "uilding so tall that it=s kissing the edge
o! space# and then visualiBe a huge chunk o! !iles stacked one a"ove
another# that=s ho$ much in!ormation your mind can retain.
)o here is the good ne$s a"out this all.
Your ex=s mind still retains all the positive# pleasura"le and !ond memories
1A@
he shared $ith you at one point o! time. +t=s all there some$here in his
mind. He didn=t &ust !all out o! love $ith you# the issue $as that# those old
positive memories $ere lost deep in his !ile ca"inet# and a lot o! ne$
experiences $ere stacked over it.
)ome o! these experiences $ere not so nice# and may"e even triggered
really negative emotions in his mind. )o no$# he has this huge chunk o!
negative memories sitting one a"ove another# $hich are overpo$ering
everything else.
%here!ore# in order to make him come "ack# you need to !irst help him
clear up these negative memories he has o! you in his mind# and make
him remem"er all the past positive experiences he shared $ith you.
2ecause once that happens# you $on=t even !eel like you are trying to get
him "ack# it $ill all "ecome very automatic.
2ut# ho$ do you do it: Here is a plan $hich $orked really $ell !or me and
everyone else# +=ve shared it $ith9
Ste3 1 7e)traliJe ,o)r feelings.
1hat do + mean $hen + say neutraliBe your !eelings: + simply mean that
"e!ore you even attempt to get your ex "ack# it=s important to get yoursel!
in a place $here you aren=t !eeling those ugly# strong inner urges to
contact your ex.
+n other $ords# +=m asking you to almost get over your ex !irst. You must
"e thinking I 1hat: Ho$ can + ever get over him $hen +=m in so much
pain: 1ell# let me give you the most logical explanation to this.
1AA
As long as you are desperate !or him# you $ill unconsciously do things
$hich $ill push him !urther a$ay. (very time he sees you# he $ill only see
this misera"le# desperate person $ho is hungry !or his love.
And $e all kno$ that a hungry dog never gets !ed# and a hungry $oman
never gets her man "ack. Your mind makes you think that i! you don=t
$ork on getting your man "ack# then you $ill never get him "ack.
2ut# your mind doesn=t understand realityL it doesn=t understand that
trying hard to get him "ack# is actually the main reason $hy he is "eing
pushed a$ay. )o# $hat you think is helping you# is actually harming you.
%he other "ig 8uestion is I Ho$ do + neutraliBe my !eelings: 1ell# it=s
simple and hard# depending on ho$ much you are $illing to push yoursel!.
And yes# !or most $omen# it=s going to "e hard at !irst. 0ur thoughts
control our !eelings# and our !eelings control our actions# so the !irst step
is to take into account your pre>dominant thoughts# !or most part o! the
day.
+! you recently "roke up# then you pro"a"ly think a"out your ex almost all
the time# and !or a ma&ority o! your days. As a result# you !eel a"solutely
depressed# "ecause the moment you think a"out him# you kno$ that he
isn=t around and it makes you !eel misera"le.
)o# the !irst thing you must attack is $hat you are thinking a"out#
throughout your day. %ake into account ho$ many times# or ho$ much
you think a"out him during a day. +n !act# +=d say make a &ournal and $rite
do$n the exact thoughts you are having at various points in a day.
1AC
%his $ill help you !eel a little "etter# "ecause no$ you can see exactly
$hat=s going on in your head and also clearly recogniBe your patterns. As
humans $e like patterns# $e usually get stuck in a routine# and repeat it
day in and day out.
A pattern is usually# a series o! things or steps you take on a daily "asis
and most $omen !ind themselves stuck in a di!!icult pattern a!ter a
"reakup. %hey either !ind themselves thinking a"out their ex all the time#
or make it a ha"it to call their ex daily. + mean# the list is endless "ut you
get my point.
)o# the next step is !or you to determine exactly $hat pattern you are
!ollo$ing on a regular "asis. A!ter a !e$ days o! o"serving your thoughts#
and putting them on paper# you should get a pretty good idea on $hat
your personal routine is# and you $ill see a very clear pattern emerging
$ith your current actions.
%he next step is to "reak this pattern right a$ay. )top calling your ex# stop
thinking a"out him# and stop $ondering $hat he must "e doing at every
minute o! every day. Do $hatever it takes# and drag yoursel! out.
As long as your ex is in your thoughts# your emotions $ill never neutraliBe.
Rather# it might only intensi!y. )o "reak your patterns# and replace them
"y doing something more positive# and productive $ith your time.
May"e start doing an activity or something# $hich $ill keep you super
"usy# so "usy# that it $ill "e hard !or you to think a"out your ex.
Ste3 2 # Avoid ,o)r e0 li/e ,o)r life de3ends on it K9or the time
being at leastL.
1AD
0ver exposure is usually another reason $hy# temporary "reakups turn
into permanent ones. Your ex $on=t miss you# as long as he has !ree
access to you# and your li!e. He $on=t really think much o! you as long as
you keep on popping up in his emails# !ace"ook or even in !ront o! his
door at times.
You see# $hen you avoid your ex# not only do you give him a chance to
miss you# "ut you also give yoursel! a chance to !inally get yoursel! out o!
the nasty push and pull e!!ect. You $ill !inally have a chance to calm
do$n# and take a "reatherL no longer $ill you "e going up and do$n on
the roller coaster o! emotions.
?lus# this reminds me o! something else. +=m a"out to say something really
pro!ound# so make sure you stick this in a place# $here you can regularly
see it. Here it is I ;1hat your ex does a!ter this point# is none o! your
"usiness<.
+t $as your "usiness as long as he $as around you# "ut right no$# you
aren=t in his li!e and his li!e is his o$n "usiness# !or the time "eing. )top
"eing a!!ected "y his actions# and thro$ing yoursel! into a huge pool o! up
and do$n emotions.
You can=t control him# "ut you can de!initely control yoursel!. )o# !or the
time "eing# completely avoid your ex# don=t check up on him at all. Do this
!or as long as it takes you to !inally !eel neutral again.

Ste3 ! =or/ hard on ,o)rself and sna3 bac/ into the confident
version of ,o) KShift ,o)r foc)s from needing him to -anting
himL.
1AF
+ $ant to share another really em"arrassing story $ith you. 1hile + $as
going through my "reakup# 8uite a !e$ years ago# + "ecame a little craBy
and turned into a person $ho &ust couldn=t take care o! himsel!. + didn=t
sho$er !or many days# + kno$# craBy right: 2ut# + &ust didn=t !eel the
motivation to do it.
+ stopped $orking on important pro&ects# and as a result# money stopped
coming in. + didn=t !eel the need to shave and looked like a homeless
person.
0ne day# a!ter my !riend really pushed me hard# + accompanied him !or
grocery shopping and $hile entering the store + sa$ a !amiliar !ace right in
!ront o! me. +t $as my ex# at !irst she looked at me# and didn=t recogniBe
me at all.
And then# as she $as starting to $alk a$ay# + murmured her name and
asked her ho$ she $as. )he couldn=t "elieve it $as really me. + could see
that she !elt a little sorry !or me# "ut $ithout saying much# she 8uickly
excused hersel!# told me she $as in a hurry# and &ust $alked a$ay.
+ thought that "y seeing ho$ "ad my condition $as# may"e she=ll !eel
sorry !or me# and might !eel guilty !or having put me through such a thing.
+t sounds a little strange# "ut deep do$n# + $as !eeling a little happy that
she ran into me $hile + $as in this condition. + !elt that no$ she $ill !eel
really guilty and $ill come running "ack to me.
%he reality had another plan !or me. A !riend o! mine called me a!ter a
couple o! days telling me# that my ex contacted him to check up on me. +
!elt an evil grin starting to make its $ay on my !ace# + thought $o$ >+t did
$ork a!ter all. o$ she $ill pro"a"ly apologiBe to me and $ant me "ack.
1CG
2ut nope# she only asked my !riend to check up on me !rom time to time#
to ensure that +=m alright. + $anted more in!ormation on her li!eL + $anted
to kno$ $hat she had "een doing $ithout me. At !irst my !riend $as
reluctant# "ut then he said I 5ook manN )he is doing really $ell and is
dating someone else right no$.
And i! you really $ant to kno$ the truth I )he told me that she $as glad
that you aren=t in her li!e anymore. )he also !elt that her decision to
"reakup $ith you $as the right one# as she can clearly see ho$ much o! a
mess you really are# and she didn=t $ant someone like that in her li!e.
0uch and + mean a huge "ig ouch.
2ut# all this taught me a vital lesson. %he lesson $as simple I +! you make
yoursel! misera"le# don=t take care o! your health# $hich also includes your
emotional health# and spend your days and nights listening to sad songs
and !antasiBing a"out your ex then you are only re>con!irming your ex=s
dou"ts a"out you.
1hat you should rather do# is totally trans!orm you into a ne$# happier
and more con!ident individual. A "reakup has the po$er to "reak you "ut#
it also has the po$er to completely trans!orm you# and only you can
choose $hether you $ish to remain "roken or you $ish to completely
trans!orm yoursel!.
+ hope you get the point +=m trying to make# "ecause ho$ you present
yoursel!# is the exact state o! mind you are portraying to everyone else
around you. Ho$ do you $ant your ex to see you: Do you $ant him to
see you as a person curled up in the corner o! a room# looking like an
a"solute mess $ith red eyes# "ecause you have "een crying !or ages:
1C1
0r do you $ant him to see you in a completely trans!ormed image# $here
not only do you look di!!erent and "etter# "ut you radiate a su"tle sense o!
con!idence and positivity $hich is naturally attractive:
And to put things into perspective# try to look at everything !rom your ex=s
point o! vie$. Ho$ $ould you like it i! someone called you hundreds o!
times a day# said sorry more times than you can count# keeps on trying to
spy on you and literally !orces you to come "ack to them:
Ho$ $ould you !eel: 1ould you !eel attracted or $ould you !eel annoyed:
+ "elieve# + don=t have to ans$er this one as it=s an almost no>"rainer. )o
the !astest $ay to get your ex "ack is to demonstrate that you are
completely secure in your skin# aren=t desperate !or him to come "ack# and
have your emotions in order.
1hen you !ollo$ this plan properly# your ex $ill naturally pick up on these
changes# he $ill sense that you aren=t the same old negative person
anymore and slo$ly "ut steadily# he $ill start to !eel really positive around
you and this $ill drastically increase your chances o! getting him "ack.

Closing Tho)ghts
)o you !inally made it: 1ell# !irst o! all# pat yoursel! on the "ack. You truly
deserve it. +tTs rather un!ortunate# "ut do you kno$ that the ma&ority o!
$omen $ho read "ooks# or study courses# never actually !inish them:
+n !act# many $omen "uy expensive courses# and never "other going
through them. ot even the !irst chapter. %hey sort o! let it sit on the
shel!# and !eel an empty sense o! com!ort.
1hy am + calling it ;empty com!ort<: 1ell# empty com!ort is a !alse sense
1C'
o! security one experiences# $hen they "uy any sel!>help "ook or course.
)ome people "uy expensive courses and let them collect dust# ho$ever#
deep do$n they !eel very good# kno$ing that i! some day they encounter
a di!!icult situation# they have this resource they can "ank upon.
%here!ore# they might never even open these courses# ho$ever# they still
en&oy the empty com!ort# and never "other to take any action. +Tm glad
that youTre not one o! those people# and you did take action and !inish this
course.
2ut# this is still the "eginning !or you. %here is still more $ork le!t that you
need to do# and that $ork is to take immediate action on everything
youTve learned in this course.
+n !act# it $ould "e a very good idea to go through this course once again#
to get a clear understanding o! all the concepts# "e!ore you take action.
+tTs o!ten said that $hen you read a "ook the second time# you $ill
discover things you never sa$ on your !irst reading.
(ither $ay# + hope you take action on everything youTve learned so !ar# and
+ look !or$ard to hearing some amaBing success stories !rom you soon. All
the "estN
Alex

1C4
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