HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS IN LA: EPISODE 1 THE COUPLE

Written by
J.R. Kiene
FADE IN:
INT. THE APARTMENT - DAY
In a very neat apartment JIM (22) sits on the couch writing
his DAILY BLOG.
JIM (V.O.)
It's another day in beautiful,
sunny LA. The birds are chirping,
the homeless are roaming the
streets and I sit on my couch
alone. Why is it so hard to find
friends here? I ask myself this
question everyday. And it's not
like i'm not trying hard enough,
take for example last week.
INT. THE APARTMENT - AFTERNOON
Jim searches the web for couples seeking other couples.
He clicks on a link and enters a website called COUPLED.
JIM
Hey Bub.
MARGOT (22) enters the room.
MARGOT
Yeah?
JIM
Come take a look at this.
Margot sits down next to Jim and scans the page. She is
pessimistic.
MARGOT
I mean, are you sure this is a site
to find friends?
JIM
Sure it is. Look, it says right
there in the mission statement.
Couples looking for a long lasting
friendship with other couples.
2.
MARGOT
But what if we are matched with
some crazy people. What if they
abduct us and cut us up in to
little pieces?
JIM
I think you're not being open to
the possibilities. Come on. You
want to find friends and I do too.
Beat.
MARGOT
Fine. But I'm only doing this
because I love you.
INT. PINK TACO - 3 DAYS LATER
At a Mexican themed bar Jim and Margot wait patiently for
their guests to arrive.
MARGOT
Where are they?
JIM
Fuck, I don't know, but if they
don't show up in 5 minutes we're
leaving.
Suddenly the couple shows. Enter DAVID (27) and MITCHELL
(23), both are extremely "Fabulous" if you catch my drift.
MITCHELL
Hey, sorry we're late, traffic on
Wilshire was terrible. And not to
mention this slowpoke. I mean I
told him were just meeting up it's
not some fancy date or anything.
DAVID
That's because I have style and you
don't.
They sit down.
MITCHELL
Mmmmmm, I love this place. Do you
guys come here often?
JIM
We've come here a few times--
2.
3.
MITCHELL
(Interrupts) Ma'am! 4 Tequila shots
pronto!
Jim and Margot glance at one another.
MITCHELL (CONTD)
Oh, did you guys want something as
well?
DAVID
Mitchell you better watch yourself.
I don't want you to embarrass me
like last time.
MITCHELL
Bitch don't tell me what to do. I'm
here to have fun! Right guys? And
gal?
Mitchell bursts out into a high-pitched laugh.
MARGOT
(Trying to act pleasant) Of course!
DAVID
So Jim, Margot, what do you guys
do?
MITCHELL
Each other.
No one laughs.
JIM
Well I'm a writer, and Margot is in
PR.
DAVID
Margot, do you like what you do?
MARGOT
Yeah, I have some amazing clients
right now and I just got a new
project so I-
The WAITRESS (30s) stops at the table, placing the TEQUILA
SHOTS carelessly.
MITCHELL
Oh there here! Thank god, I'm so
thirsty.
3.
4.
DAVID
Mitchell.
MITCHELL
David. David thinks I have a
drinking problem.
He takes the first shot.
MITCHELL (CONTD)
But you know what I think since
it's all good fun, why not let
loose?
He takes the second shot.
David directs his attention to Jim and Margot.
DAVID
I apologize in advance for his
antics.
Mitchell glares at David.
Beat.
He then takes his last two shots and stands up.
MITCHELL
I'm going to the little-men's room,
David you know what I like.
DAVID
Yes Hun.
Mitchell exits. David appears disappointed.
JIM
So David, what do you do?
DAVID
I'm a producer, but I haven't
produced the kind of films that you
would know.
JIM
Oh really? Try me.
DAVID
Well have you ever heard of 'Dude,
Where is my Boner'?
4.
(MORE)
5.
MARGOT
Umm.
DAVID
Haha. I'm in the porn industry. You
know, they say you can make a lot
of money doing porn, but that's not
true.
In the background, Mitchell sits at the BAR pounding more
shots.
JIM
Well I'm sure it's an interesting
business to get into.
David looks around.
DAVID
Where is he?
He spots Mitchell at the bar.
DAVID (CONTD)
For fuck sake.
David stands up and confronts Mitchell. From a far they begin
yelling at one another.
JIM
We should leave, like now.
MARGOT
This didn't really go as planned
huh Jim?
JIM
Absolutely not.
Just as they get up from their seats Mitchell runs over to
them in tears.
MITCHELL
We broke up!!!
I/E. MARGOT'S CAR - NIGHT
Margot and Jim sit in the front seats annoyed. Sitting in the
back seat is a very drunk Mitchell.
MITCHELL
You know what? Fuck him. He never
believed in me.
(MORE)
5.
MITCHELL (CONT'D)
6.
Always telling me what to do. That
bitch will realize... He...He needs
me.
Mitchell begins to doze off.
JIM
Hey! Buddy!
Mitchell grunts in acknowledgement.
JIM (CONTD)
Is this the street?
Mitchell sits up and looks around.
MITCHELL
My house is right there.
EXT. WEST HOLLYWOOD APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Margot puts her car in park.
MARGOT
Mitchell. Mitchell! We're here.
MITCHELL
Okay.
Mitchell exits the car, falling on his side.
MITCHELL (CONTD)
OW!
Immediately MITCHELL'S BOYFRIEND (25) comes out of the house
only wearing a robe, very pissed.
BOYFRIEND
Where the hell have you been!
MITCHELL
I was just hanging out with some
new friends baby.
His boyfriend directs his attention to Margot and Jim.
BOYFRIEND
Who the fuck are you?
JIM
Wow. Okay well, you know what, fuck
this.
MITCHELL (CONT'D)
6.
7.
Jim shifts the gear in DRIVE.
JIM (CONTD)
Drive.
Margot guns it, speeding off like a cannon in the night.
INT. THE APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Jim and Margot immediately crash on the bed.
MARGOT
Jim, I love you, but right now I
fucking hate you.
JIM
I know Bub.
INT. THE APARTMENT - DAY
Back to Jim on the couch writing.
JIM (V.O.)
In life we learn things based upon
our experiences. Sure, the couple
dating thing didn't work out the
way I anticipated. I learned
friendships cannot be forced and
instead they should be developed.
So I will continue my search to
find someone to talk to, someone to
share my ideas/jokes, and somebody
that is not my Fiance.
FADE TO BLACK. THE END.
7.