Can You See Me Now? by Estela Bernal

9 781558 857834
5 1 0 9 5
ISBN 978-1-55885-783-4
PIATA BOOKS
ARTE PBLICO PRESS
HOUSTON, TEXAS
Can You See Me Now? is funded in part by grants from the City of Houston
through the Houston Arts Alliance.
Piata Books are full of surprises!
Piata Books
An imprint of
Arte Pblico Press
University of Houston
4902 Gulf Fwy, Bldg. 19, Rm 100
Houston, Texas 77204-2004
Cover design by Gigi Little
Cover photo by Irene Trevio
The author will use proceeds from the book to support two of her favorite
causes: childrens education and animal welfare.
Bernal, Estela.
Can you see me now? / by Estela Bernal.
p. cm.
Summary: Thirteen-year-old Mandy Silva feels invisible after her
father's unexpected death and her mothers inability to deal with the sit-
uation, and her unhappiness is worsened by her peers constant
bullyingProvided by publisher.
ISBN 978-1-55885-783-4 (alk. paper)
[1. Mothers and daughtersFiction. 2. GrandmothersFiction.
3. FriendshipFiction. 4. DeathFiction. 5. BullyingFiction.
6. OregonFiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.B45478Can 2014
[Fic]dc23
2013038056
CIP
The paper used in this publication meets the requirements of the Ameri-
can National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for
Printed Library Materials, ANSI Z39.48-1984
.
2014 by Estela Bernal
Printed in the United States of America
August 2013September 2013
Versa Press, Inc., East Peoria, IL
12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
In memory of my parents Ramona and Florentino
Bernal. Also, in remembrance of loved ones who
are gone but will never be forgotten.
and
To Pinito. We'll never forget you.
iv
I wish to thank Dr. Nicols Kanellos, Marina Tristn,
Adelaida Mendoza, Gabriela Baeza Ventura and Matthew
Hall at Arte Pblico Press who were extremely profes-
sional and helpful in making this book a reality. It seems
fitting that, as a native Texan, my first book would be
published in Texas.
Although she doesnt know it, the very talented Tish
Hinojosa (a fellow Tejana), was the one who first inspired
me to write. After hearing her sing songs that I grew up
listening to, as well as some of her own work at a concert
in Davis, California, I decided to explore my own creativ-
ity. Since I cant sing or dance but have always loved to
read, it was only natural that I express myself through
my writing. Thanks, Tish.
Thanks also to the staff and students in the
Spanish/Portuguese Department at UC Irvine who first
validated my efforts through their Chicano/Latino Literary
Prize. I was particularly touched by the two young women
who approached me at the reception and told me, You have
to keep writing. These are stories that need to be told.
Thanks also to the Society of Childrens Book Writers
and Illustrators (SCBWI), SCBWI-Oregon, Willamette
Writers, Wordstock, The Rose City Writers, and all those
Acknowledgements
who are so supportive of the arts and from whom Ive
learned so much.
Thanks to Gigi Little for the lovely book cover, to my
family and friends for their support and encouragement,
to my compadre Gene Hiehle, first-line editor and word
tester, to Shakti Huss who served as the model for the
character Paloma, to teachers, parents, and role models
who teach us that our actions and words do make a dif-
ference.
Thanks most of all to the Higher Power which guides
my imagination and my reality.
May kindness become our mantra. Namaste.
Acknowledgements v
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that
encloses your understanding.
Kahlil Gibran
When I answered the door the morning I turned thir-
teen and found two police officers standing there, I knew
they hadnt come to wish me a happy birthday.
That whole day I heard doors opening and shutting,
people whispering and crying.
He died instantly. He didnt suffer, I kept hearing
again and again.
How would they know? Even if Dad had laughed him-
self to death, the truth was that he was gone and a part
of me had died that day, too.
I hadnt been very excited about turning thirteen.
Birthdays meant I kept getting older, but I wasnt getting
any bigger. Mom calls me a late bloomer. I know its just
one more way in which I disappoint her. I tried to con-
vince myself that Id given up trying to please her. Even
if I wanted to, I could never follow in her beauty queen
footsteps.
Dad was just the opposite. He called me Mueca.
Coming from him, I took it as a compliment, even though
I know no one else would think of me as a doll. Dolls
arent short and skinny. They dont have thin, limp hair.
And, Ive never seen a doll with crooked teeth or braces.
1
Chapter One
Glued
The next few days were a blur, like watching TV from
my favorite branch of the oak tree in our backyard.
Although I dont have anybody but a drunk driver to
blame for Dads death, a month later I still feel like kick-
ing or punching something or somebody, especially the
clueless clowns who never miss a chance to torment me.
Like yesterday. When the bell rang after social stud-
ies class, I threw my stuff in my bag and, as I tried to
slide out of my seat, I felt my skirt slipping off. I looked
down to see my underpants were showing. They werent
my best pair, either.
I slid back in and waited for the students to leave.
Then I saw Haley, Sandra and Mina standing nearby
holding on to one another, laughing so hard they were
practically crying. It wasnt until I yanked at the skirt
that I understood why. It was glued to the seat.
I reached in my bag and pulled out the first thing I
could grab.
Before I knew it, Id thrown my math book at them
and caught Sandra right under the chin. She let out a
howl as her head snapped back like a windsock jerked
around by the wind.
Mrs. Franco rushed over. Are you girls at it again?
What did you do this time?
Amanda threw a book at us, Mina yelled.
You glued my skirt to my chair, I yelled back.
Mrs. Franco took a tissue out of her pocket and start-
ed wiping blood and drool off Sandras chin.
Did you bite your tongue?
Sandra just kept howling.
Mrs. Franco told Haley and Mina to take her to the
nurses office and then go see the principal. By then, the
rest of the class had crowded around my desk trying to
see what was going on. Mrs. Franco shooed them out of
2 Estela Bernal
the room, locked the door and came back with a ruler to
scrape my skirt off the chair.
They hate me. They hate me, I sobbed. Ive never
done anything to them.
They dont hate you, Amanda. Theyre just mean.
You need to slip out of your skirt so I can scrape it off
more easily.
The skirt had an elastic waistband and started to slip
off as Mrs. Franco stood behind me and lifted me by my
armpits, making me feel like a baby being pulled out of a
high chair.
I stood, half naked, watching her scrape and pull until
my skirt came loose.
She handed it to me. Theyre getting smarter at these
ridiculous pranks, she said. It looks like they used some
kind of super glue and figured out a small dab goes a long
way.
I looked the skirt over before putting it back on. It had
a hard, round, dime-sized circle where the glue was still
sticking to it. I turned it so the spot was on the side, right
below my hip, where it wasnt as noticeable.
You couldve broken Sandras nose or injured her
eye, Mrs. Franco said. You know Ill have to report this
to the principal. Next time those girls bother you, please
come to me or one of the other teachers. Let us handle it.
Yes, maam, I said before I started to walk out. At
the door, I turned back. Thanks for scraping my skirt off
the chair.
I didnt see Sandra the rest of the day, but Mina and
Haley glared at me whenever I ran into them. I was
afraid theyd be waiting for me after school, so I skipped
my last class and went downtown to Garys Discount Out-
let. I walked up one aisle and down another until I got to
an aisle with a huge pile of fake lipsticks, compact mir-
rors and make-up for kids. I held a mirror to my face and
Can You See Me Now? 3
turned my head this way and that. I looked like a freak
with one bulging eye, fish lips and a pig snout, but I kept
holding the mirror with one hand while I let a tube of lip-
stick drop to the floor from the other. I crushed it and
flattened it with my foot before kicking it under the bin
and putting the mirror back.
Garys wife came up behind me. Looking for anything
in particular?
No. Just looking, I said.
She wasnt convinced. She followed me all the way to
the door.
4 Estela Bernal
5
Our town is disappearing right before our eyes. Its
being eaten by a monster disguised as New Horizons for
San Fulano. We may be powerless to stop this invasion,
but one thing we can do is preserve our towns history
While Mrs. Franco talked, I tried to picture the cranes
and bulldozers biting off chunks of earth and swallowing
them whole to make room for the new mall that, accord-
ing to Mrs. Franco, was going to drive all the small
merchants in town out of business.
I could hear the familiar giggling behind me. Sandra
looked the same as always, except her lower lip was fat-
ter than usual. I called her, Mina and Haley the clueless
clowns because they were always together, always laugh-
ing, always causing trouble. And their make-up? YIKES!
Every day was Halloween for them.
Mrs. Franco went on and on. Once youve decided on
the questions youll be asking during your interviews, you
may compare notes to make sure you dont all end up ask-
ing the same questions. Although youll be working in
pairs, you will each be expected to give your own report.
Im leaving it up to you to decide who to work with. If any-
one needs help in finding a partner
Chapter Two
A Project
Shed assigned the project the first week of school. At
first, I was very excited about it even though I couldnt
think of anybody I wanted as my partner. Now, I didnt
care what life was like a hundred years ago, or whenever
San Fulano was founded. I didnt care about anything any-
more. My life had been split in two: Before Dad died and
After Dad died. Before was full of laughter and fun. After
was like a foggy day, when you cant be sure whats ahead
and even the things you can see look blurry and scary.
Today was Moms first day back at Chinook County
Hospital, where she works as a nurse. Since Dad had
worked the night shift in the sheriffs department, he had
always been there for me when I got home from school.
Now, I was supposed to go to Grandmas until Mom got
off work. On the way there, I felt like I was walking in
quicksand. I loved Grandma, but I really wished I was
going home to Dad.
The smell of freshly baked cookies met me at the front
door. I followed the scent to the kitchen where Grandma
was just taking a batch out of the oven. I knew shed
baked them especially for me because she couldnt eat
them on account of her diabetes.
Perfect timing, she said. You can only have two,
though, because dinner will be ready soon. How was your
day?
Okay. I tried to think of something to tell her. Im
working on a project for Mrs. Francos class. She wants us
to help preserve the history of San Fulano by interview-
ing people whove lived here for a long time. In November
we have to give an oral report.
Sounds great, Mandy. You can interview Mrs. Luna.
Shell enjoy reminiscing about what San Fulano was like
when she was growing up.
Mrs. Luna is Grandmas next-door neighbor. She
always dresses in black and wears funny-looking shoes.
6 Estela Bernal
She walks with her head bowed, like shes still saying her
prayers on her way home from church.
You can have your snack while I fix dinner, Grand-
ma said. Were having your moms favorite.
She didnt have to tell me dinner would be tamal pie
and salad, with flan for dessert.
Grandma was making iced tea when the phone rang.
Could you please get that, Mandy? she said from the
kitchen.
I picked up the phone and heard Moms voice before I
had a chance to say hello.
Ma, Im working overtime tonight. Can Amanda
spend the night at your house? Ill bring over some
clothes for her in the morning.
Hi, Mom, I said. Ill ask Grandma if its okay.
Oh, Mandy. You dont mind, do you?
Um . . . No. I held the phone against my chest and
yelled, Grandma, Mom wants to know if I can spend the
night?
Grandma came to the kitchen doorway wiping her
hands on her apron.
Of course. Tell her well see her in the morning.
That night, I sat on Moms old bed and looked around
the room. I dont think it had changed since she lived
there. There were pictures on the wall and on the dress-
er of her and Uncle Nic when they were kids. Its hard to
believe theyre twins. He looks very different in the pic-
ture Grandma keeps on her nightstand, where hes
wearing his air force pilot uniform. Hed been a cute kid,
but Mom has always been beautiful.
The furniture in the room is the kind Id seen at an
antiques store on Grand Avenue in Portland. They called
it retro. I could almost see Mom sitting in front of the
dresser mirror brushing her short curly hair.
Suddenly, I wanted to know everything about her and
Dad. Id never asked how, when and where theyd met.
Now, I felt like I had to know. Maybe I should put togeth-
er my family tree. That sounded like more fun than my
class project, and it could be a way to get close to Mom
now that it was just the two of us.
The next morning, when Mom hadnt shown up by
seven, Grandma drove me home so I could change. Mom
was asleep when we got there, so Grandma dropped me
off at school. All day I could feel the clueless clowns star-
ing at me and I heard their loud whispered threats, but
they mostly left me alone.
Your mom will be working late again tonight,
Grandma said as soon as I walked in the door after
school. She brought over some clothes for you. I hope you
dont mind staying here.
Its okay, Grandma, I said, but I really wanted to be
home with Mom. I had so many questions I needed to ask
her.
I went to the bedroom to hang up my clothes and
noticed Mom had brought enough for the rest of the week.
Sunday morning, Mom called around noon and said
she was on her way to pick me up. I thought that would
give us a chance to talk, but on the way home all she
talked about was how busy shed been at work and how
much she had to do at home. The minute we got home,
she went straight to the laundry room and started sorting
laundry.
I followed her there. Mom, Im thinking of working on
our family tree. Do you think we could
Amanda, Im very busy. You can help by cleaning
your room and doing your homework.
8 Estela Bernal
I guess she forgot I hadnt been home all week and my
room didnt need to be cleaned. I spent the rest of the
morning on my branch of the tree in the backyard trying
to read The Giving Tree. It had been Dads gift to me on
my sixth birthday. He had read it to me every day for
about a month. After reading the same words over and
over for the umpteenth time, I covered my ears with my
hands, but couldnt shut out the shouts and laughter of
the kids who were playing soccer in the park.
As I made my way down the tree, I noticed that the
yard was looking pretty dry and parts of it were turning
brown. Mom mustve forgotten to turn on the sprinklers.
I went to the garage and flipped the switch to auto. Then
I took out the lawn mower and mowed the front lawn.
After Id pulled some weeds and watered the flower beds,
I went back inside. Mom was cooking in the kitchen.
Im going to make a peanut butter sandwich, I said.
You want one?
No, Mom said. Im not hungry. Be sure to clean up
after yourself.
I rinsed the knife Id used and wiped off the counter. I
put my sandwich on a napkin and took it to my bedroom.
Mom knocked on my door at seven. Dinners ready.
Could you please set the table?
During dinner, Mom ate a few bites of lasagna and
drank a couple of glasses of wine. I chewed on a piece of
bread and watched her.
Finally, she seemed to remember I was there. Hows
school?
Okay.
Amanda, Im going to be working overtime for a
while. I put my small suitcase in your closet so you can
pack everything you need since youll be staying with
Grandma all week. Ill take you to school in the morning
and drop your stuff off at her house afterwards.
Why do you have to work so much, Mom? I asked.
Well, as I said, its just for a while.
For how long?
I dont know. Please, just eat your dinner.
All of a sudden, I wasnt hungry anymore. I went back
to my room and packed my stuff in Moms suitcase, then
turned on the TV so Mom wouldnt hear me sobbing. Not
that she cared. At nine, she knocked on my door again.
She came in and kissed me on the head.
You better get some sleep. Good night.
The next morning, she overslept and was still in her
bathrobe and slippers when she rushed me to school.
Tell them to call me if they need an excuse or expla-
nation, she said on the way there.
Before the car even came to a complete stop, I jumped
out and slammed the door behind me. As I ran to my first
period class, I collided with Mr. Q., the school counselor.
His real name is Mr. Quintero, but all the kids call him
Mr. Q.
Whoa there, Amanda. Whats the big rush?
Im late, I said, and kept running.
Its okay. Wait up. Ill walk you to your class.
Suddenly, the hallway seemed so long and my class-
room so far away, but I slowed down and he caught up
with me.
Lets take our time. Ive been thinking about you.
How are you?
Fine.
Good. I heard about the prank those girls played on
you. Can you stop by my office for a chat at three this
afternoon?
Okay, as if I had a choice.
I was relieved when we finally got to my classroom.
Mr. Q. stuck his head in the door.
10 Estela Bernal
Sorry Amandas late. He gave the class a little wave
and disappeared. I slunk into my seat and opened my
notebook. All day, I wondered if Sandras parents had
complained about me throwing my book at her.
When I got to Mr. Qs office, his secretary told him I
was there.
Send her in, I heard him say. He smiled, asked me
to sit down and closed the door before he sat on a corner
of his desk, keeping one leg on the floor like an anchor.
Amanda, he said, do you remember our visit when
you came back to school after your fathers funeral?
I nodded and started sniffling.
Mr. Q. offered me a box of tissues. As I explained
then, crying is a big part of the healing process. So is talk-
ing about your pain, whenever youre ready, of course. I
lost my parents when I was twelve and one thing I found
very helpful was keeping my mind occupied. Do you have
a hobby or project you really enjoy and could dedicate to
your dad, kind of your own private memorial to him?
I want to start a family tree.
Thats an excellent idea, he said. Its going to take
time, but although you may find this hard to believe, it
does get better.
He stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. I know
Sandra, Haley and Mina have caused trouble for you and
other students before. Principal Garza has spoken with
them several times and Ive talked to each one separate-
ly. Although they provoked you, Amanda, we cant
tolerate violence from any of our students. Can you
understand why?
I nodded again. So Sandras parents mustve com-
plained.
Good. I want you to know Im here to listen any time
you feel like talking.
I took that as a sign I was free to go. I thanked him
and got up to leave. In the girls restroom, I wadded up
some paper towels, soaked them in cold water and
pressed them against my eyes and cheeks. I noticed the
girl in the mirror with the puffy red face was starting to
look very familiar.
My footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as I made my
way to the door. I took my time walking to Grandmas, hop-
ing that by the time I got there my face wouldnt give me
away.
Grandma heard me come in and called out to me from
the kitchen.
Mandy, I mentioned your project to Mrs. Luna. Shes
looking forward to talking to you about it. She seemed
more excited about my project than I was. I hadnt
thought much about it and didnt even have a partner yet.
I walked into the kitchen. Thanks, Grandma, I said,
but I didnt suggest a date for the interview.
That night, I dreamed I was running around town
with a big microphone interviewing all the old timers,
dead and alive, who had something to tell about San
Fulano. I could see right through the dead ones. They
floated around like bubbles. The people who were alive
looked more real, more touchable.
Mom looked different too. She looked tired all the
time.
Dad used to say, I cant believe such a little lady
could have such a big laugh. But the loud laughter that
had once filled our house was gone. She was now working
six days a week.
12 Estela Bernal
On Sunday she picked me up at Grandmas and took
me home. I dont know why she bothered, since she spent
the rest of the day doing loads and loads of laundry, cook-
ing several meals at a time and freezing them. I tried to
stay out of her way.
At the end, of the day, we finally sat down to eat.
Hows work, Mom? I asked, mainly to remind her I
was there.
Busy, she said, very busy. Hows school?
Good. Im interviewing Grandmas neighbor for a
school project.
Thats nice.
I watched as she poured herself another glass of wine.
Were putting together a history of San Fulano.
Mom smiled, picked at her food, and tried to focus her
eyes. She looked like she was surprised to see me there.
Suddenly, she got up and disappeared into her bedroom,
then reappeared rolling a small travel bag behind her.
I almost forgot. I got this for you. Do you like it? For
a minute I thought she had finally remembered Id just
had a birthday. But then she said, I hope you dont mind
if I drop you off at Grandmas tonight after youve had a
chance to pack. That way we can both get a little more
rest in the morning.
I finished cleaning the kitchen and went straight to
my room to pack my stuff in the new bag. Since most of
my clothes were already at Grandmas, there wasnt
much to pack, but I took what I wanted of what was left.
Is there anything you need? Mom asked when she
dropped me off a little later.
YOU! I need you, I wanted to scream. Instead I said,
No, thanks.
I grabbed my stuff from the back seat and slammed
the door shut without saying goodbye.
14
The following Sunday, I spent most of the day in my
room while Mom followed her cooking, cleaning and laun-
dry routine. She seemed to be thinking up more ways to
get rid of me earlier on Sundays. That day, instead of dri-
ving me to Grandmas house, shed asked her to come pick
me up.
I was drying the dinner dishes when I heard Grand-
ma come in. Although the radio was on in the dining
room, I could hear her voice and thought she was just tak-
ing advantage of the chance to visit with Mom.
Then I heard her say, . . . if its a matter of money,
Olga, I can help you.
I threw the dish towel over my shoulder, tiptoed
across the kitchen and stood by the open door.
Its not the money, Ma. I just miss him so much. I
have to keep busy or Ill go crazy. Mom started sobbing
and I almost forgot I wasnt supposed to be listening. I
wanted to run out and throw my arms around her. Tears
began collecting like rainy-day clouds in my eyes. I
blinked hard, trying to stop them.
What about Mandy? Do you think its any easier for
her? Shes already lost one parent. She needs you, honey.
Chapter Three
A Plan
Its all her fault, Mom said. If she hadnt insisted on
that stupid watch for her birthday, he would still be
alive.
Olga! How can you say that?
Its true. He was on his way to pick it up from the
shop where hed had it engraved for her
I didnt wait to hear anymore. I ran out the back door
and clambered up the tree to my branch.
The watch, the all-in-one solar-powered, water-resis-
tant watch with the altimeter, barometer thermometer
and digital compassI wish Id never seen it or heard of
it. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry, I sobbed. I never want-
ed to come down from the tree again. I wanted to fly away
and find Dad wherever he was. My birthday will always
be a reminder that hes never coming back.
The screen door slammed shut and I heard Grandmas
voice, Mandy? Mandy, where are you?
I watched her walk from one side of the yard to the
other, stopping to look behind a bush. She stood on her
toes and tried to look over the fence. Eventually, she
made her way to the tree where I was curled up into a
ball on my branch.
Mandy? she said.
I took the dish towel that was still wrapped around
my neck and wiped my eyes and nose before stuffing it
into a crack in the tree.
Coming, Grandma.
I hugged the branch with my arms and legs and
swung around until I was hanging with my back to her. I
dropped my legs, but kept hugging the branch with my
arms.
Careful. Dont hurt yourself.
Im okay, Grandma. I do this all the time. I let go
and fell to the ground.
Are you sure youre okay, honey?
Yeah. I just need to grab my stuff and Ill be ready to
go.
On my way to my bedroom, I could hear the shower
running in Moms bathroom. Since I was practically liv-
ing with Grandma now, all I needed to get were my books.
Grandma waited for me in the living room.
Okay, Im ready, I said. Bye, Mom! I yelled as I
walked out the door,
There was no answer. I told myself Id drowned it out
when I slammed the door behind me.
Its going to take a little time for Olga to recover from
. . . Its a big adjustment for her, Grandma said on the
way to her house. But remember Im here for you,
Mandy.
I didnt say anything. I just watched a blur of trees
whiz by.
Sleep well, Grandma said when we got to her house.
Let me know if you need anything.
Thanks, Grandma. Goodnight. All I needed was
Dad, but nobody could give him back and it wasnt Grand-
mas fault.
I lay in bed, not bothering to change into my pajamas,
and thought about Dad. Since I was the closest thing he
had to a son, hed spent hours teaching me to play soccer,
softball and tennis. Id played mainly to please him. The
only thing I really looked forward to was hiking. Some-
times Mom would hike with us, but usually it was just me
and Dad. I loved walking beside him on wide, shady trails
and scrambling behind him up hills and rocks and across
brooks and meadows. My favorite part of those hikes was
eating lunch by a lake or a river or, sometimes, the top of
a mountain where we looked out over a valley or watched
the clouds float by. Id wanted the watch to take on our
hikes.
16 Estela Bernal
Thinking about the watch made me sit up like a jack-
in-the-box. I banged my fists against the sides of my
head, but the thought wouldnt go away.
Im sorry, Dad. I love you, I whispered before I final-
ly fell asleep.
The next morning at breakfast, Grandma asked,
When was the last time you had your eyes checked?
I dont remember. Why?
You seem to be blinking a lot lately. Maybe I should
make an appointment for you with my eye doctor.
I thought of a girl at school named Rebecca. The kids
called her Pinky because she was so pale. She had white
hair and wore thick glasses.
Does that mean I might have to wear glasses? I
asked.
Only if the doctor says you need them.
Great! Thats just what I need, another reason for the
kids to make fun of me, another name for them to call
meFour Eyes.
At the school entrance, I saw Mr. Q. talking with a
student. Seeing him reminded me of my microphone
dream. It gave me an idea. I could interview kids whod
lost a parent and were feeling lonely. Maybe they would
find it easier to talk to me than to a teacher or a parent
or even Mr. Q. There was only one problem. How was I
going to find those lost and lonely kids? I decided to keep
my eyes and ears open and watch for sad faces with a
trace of a tear or two.
I began checking out the students in my class, in the
cafeteria, in the hallwaysstudying their faces for signs
of sadness or pain. But I had to be careful about who I
looked at. Felix Fox caught me staring at him.
Who are you winking at, scarecrow?
You wish, Knothead, I answered.
If his gang of delinquents had been with him, they
wouldve started a rumor that I had a crush on him. Since
he was alone, he just yelled out Weirdo! and walked
away.
One person I could stare at as long as I wanted to was
Paloma Beltrn. She didnt seem to notice what people
around her said or did. When somebody said something
mean to her, and the clueless clowns gave her their share
of attention, she acted like she didnt care, even when I
knew shed heard them because everybody else in the
room had too. I think most of the boys liked her because
they acted like fools when they were around her. This
was her first year at Central Middle School, but all the
teachers and students already knew she was probably the
smartest kid in the whole school. I couldnt understand
why she didnt have any friends yet. Maybe the other
girls were envious.
Paloma was different from everybody else at school.
She looked like shed stepped out of a fairy tale. She never
wore jeans or sneakers like the rest of us. None of the
stores in town sold the kind of clothes she worelong
skirts in bright red, gold, green, orange and lots of other
wild colors. You could almost see right through them. She
wore tights under the skirts and matching sandals or bal-
let shoes which made her look like she was floating or
dancing a few inches off the floor. Her long, black hair
was the kind that made you want to touch itlike liquid
licorice. And, best of all, she had perfect white teeth.
She was the total opposite of me.
Even though she didnt look sad, I decided I wanted to
get to know her. She had no friends and I had no friends.
At least we had that in common. Besides, I still needed a
partner for the class project.
18 Estela Bernal
After class, as she collected her books, I walked up to
her.
So, have you started working on your project?
For a minute she stared at me like she wasnt sure I
was talking to her, even though I was standing in front of
her and looking right at her.
No, not yet. Ive mainly been outlining my plan.
A plan? Wow, that sounds like a great idea. I do
things without thinking too much about them.
Maybe you can come over and I can show you my out-
line.
Come over where? I asked, and regretted it right
away. I didnt want her to think I was so stupid I didnt
know how to prepare a plan, or recognize an invitation
when I got one.
To my house. If youd like, my mom or dad can call
your parents and arrange for a visit.
Oh, I can ask my grandma. Shell probably want to
know where you live, though.
Sure. She scribbled her address and phone number
on a sheet of paper, tore it out of her notebook and hand-
ed it to me. We live out in the country and I usually take
the bus. But, if your grandmother would rather drop you
off, we can give her directions.
Thanks.
I couldnt believe it. Just like that, the prettiest and
smartest girl at Central had invited me to her house.
After class, I saw the clueless clowns hanging around
my locker and my happy mood floated off like a runaway
balloon.
I grabbed Palomas arm. Do you mind waiting here
until the bell rings?
But why? Well be late for math class.
Its okay. Ill explain to Mr. Porter why were late. I
dont really want to find out what the clueless clowns are
up to today.
You mean the girls who laughed at you in Mrs. Fran-
cos class?
Yeah. The ones who glued my skirt to my seat.
They didnt!
They did.
Ill wait with you, then.
The bell rang, but the clowns didnt budge.
The security guard saw us standing in the hallway.
You people deaf? she barked. Go to your next class
before I haul you all to the principals office.
Me and Paloma practically ran to math class. The
clowns followed right behind.
I expected them to be waiting for us again after class,
so I stuck close to Paloma. Even though the two of us had
no chance against the three of them, I knew it didnt take
much to confuse them. Lucky for all of us, they werent
anywhere in sight.
Genaros chanting broke into my daydream in social
studies the next morning. I looked up to see him bounc-
ing around in his seat.
Wa ha ca, Wa ha - ca . . .
He stopped when Mrs. Franco held up a hall pass.
Heres a free pass, Genaro. Why dont you take your
song and dance to the principals office?
Sorry, Maam. I wont do it no more.
Good, Mrs. Franco said. Ill keep it handy in case
you do.
She set the pass back on her desk and walked to the
map of Mexico shed tacked to the bulletin board. With a
20 Estela Bernal
look in Genaros direction, she pointed to the part of the
country where her great grandfather had come from.
As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,
she said, when I began exploring my own familys histo-
ry, I discovered that my great grandfathers family came
from Oaxaca, or as Genaro likes to say it, Wa-ha-ca. Our
family was one of the first to settle in this town. Maybe
one of your ancestors was among the farmers and ranch-
ers who came from Mxico to Oregon in search of
opportunity, and founded this little town that most peo-
ple have never even heard of. Now that New Horizons is
threatening to eat up whats left of our town to make
room for commercial development, San Fulano could end
up a ghost town in the not too distant future.
WoooOOOOoooo! Rubn whispered.
Mrs. Franco gave him one of her evil-eye looks to shut
him up.
You can earn extra credit for any photographs or arti-
facts that show how things used to be, she said. Also, for
extra credit, you may consider keeping a journal to record
your own experience of life in this town. Your journal can
be a valuable source of information for future genera-
tions. Your children and grandchildren will probably pass
it on to their children as a family treasure.
There were several giggles from the classthe
thought of us having children and grandchildren sounded
like a joke.
The day before, Id asked Grandma if I could go to
Palomas house after school. She said she would drive me
there since we didnt really know her or her family. Until
then, Id never thought much about San Fulano, but now
that I had a partner for the class project, I started paying
a little more attention to it. On the way to Palomas
house, I noticed the little farms along the wayone was
built on a hill, another next to a creek and a third sat in
front of a forest of fruit trees. They were all surrounded
by pasture where the cows or horses or goats munched on
grass or rested next to their barns.
Grandmas a slow driver, so we were barely creeping
along when we got close to the address Paloma had given
me. As we climbed another hill, we saw a house that had
to be the one we were looking for since there werent any
other houses nearby. I dont know what I was expecting,
but this house and Paloma didnt seem to go together.
The front yard was covered with weeds and the house
looked like the kind firemen burn down for practice.
Are you sure you got the address right? Grandma
asked.
I checked the paper again. This has to be it.
Hhmmm! Grandma said. She pulled into the drive-
way. Im not leaving you here until we make sure
somebody actually lives in that place.
Ill go see, I said. If this was my house, Id at least
paint it.
There was no doorbell and I was wondering whether I
should even bother knocking, when Paloma opened the
door.
Hi, Amanda. I was listening for you. she said.
Hi. By the way, you can call me Mandy.
I waved to Grandma to let her know we had the right
house and someone was home. She waved back and drove
off.
I felt like Paloma had read my mind. Most people
would call this a rickety old house. We just call it comfort-
able. It needs a lot of work, but thats one reason my
parents liked it. They say when they finish remodeling, itll
be one of a kind. Thats hard to believe from looking at the
outside because they decided to start fixing the inside first.
Would you like to see the house before we get started?
22 Estela Bernal
Sure.
She led me into the biggest room Id ever seen. For a
minute I thought her whole house was one big room.
Mom calls this a semi-open floor plan. This is the
common room. It includes the kitchen, dining and sitting
area. Our bedrooms are upstairs. Well be working in my
room, but let me show you the garden where we spend
most of our time.
When she opened the double doors leading to the gar-
den, I let out a little gasp. Until now, I thought Grandma
had the best garden in the world, except for the ones you
see in magazines. This one was like a mini nursery, but
even at the nursery, the colors had never jumped out at
me like they did here. It was like one of Palomas outfits
had come alive. Bright blue, red, yellow, orange, green
and a blur of other colors were flying around in a cage
that took up a whole side of the garden. Birds flitted from
trees to birdfeeders and from birdhouses to perches hang-
ing from the ceiling. The whole time, they sounded like a
flying choir, each wearing a different-colored robe. Heart-
shaped flowers, flowers shaped like birds, and trees with
crooked branches that looked like they couldnt make up
their mind which way to go, were growing in giant pots
scattered around the room.
In one corner of the garden was a little house. It
reminded me of the tea house at the Japanese Gardens in
San Francisco that Uncle Nic had taken me and Grand-
ma to see. I thought it was Palomas playhouse. Then, I
noticed the sliding doors. They were open. The little
house was empty except for some mats on the floor.
I can see why you spend most of your time here, I
said as we made our way along the path. It smells so
goodkind of like perfume.
Yes, we each got to pick our favorite flowers to plant
in the garden. We picked them mainly for their color, but
they happen to smell good, too. The birds, trees, flowers,
fountains and all the life sharing the garden provide a
soothing balance, dont you think?
Hmmm, yeah, soothing.
She led me to the little house. This is our favorite
place to practice yoga and meditate. Come inside and
youll see why.
I thought Id already seen why this would be their
favorite place, but when we walked into the little house
and I saw Mt. Hood through the window, I forgot about
the birds and plants and everything else. On clear days
you could see the mountain from some parts of town, but
this was the best view Id ever seen.
Wow! was all I could say.
Thats what convinced my parents this was the place
they were looking for. They didnt care how much work it
needed. The view made it all worthwhile.
A door slammed shut behind us, making me jump. I
jerked my head back toward the sound and saw a short
bald man walking toward the kitchen counter with a bag
of groceries in each arm.
Hi, Daddy, Paloma said.
Hello, princess. I didnt notice you out there. He set
the bags down and came to join us. And who do we have
here?
Daddy, this is my new friend, Mandy.
Palomas dad put his hands together and bowed his
head, like he was getting ready to pray.
Welcome to our home, Mandy.
Thank you. This was pretty cool. I went from having
no friends to having a fairy princess for a friend.
Mandy and I are working on a plan for a school pro-
ject, Paloma said. We should get busy. Her grand-
mother will be by to pick her up later.
Have fun, her dad said.
24 Estela Bernal
Paloma led me to her room. Watch out for the lad-
der, she said. Mom and Daddy are still doing some
painting up here.
Her bedroom looked like a library with furniture. She
went straight to her bed and yanked the covers off.
Clothes, books, stuffed toys and other unidentified flying
objects fell to the floor.
Its easier to clear the bed than it is to clear the desk,
she said.
She saw me staring at the bookshelves that covered
one whole wall from the floor to the ceiling.
Its a thirteen-year collection she said. I have every
single book Ive ever owned. Ready to get to work?
I nodded.
She hopped on the bed, tucked her legs underneath
her and pointed to the foot of the bed.
Make yourself comfortable.
She opened her notebook and showed me her outline.
It covered two pages in small, neat handwriting.
I dont agree with Mrs. Franco, by the way. Even if
we used the same questions for our interviews, I doubt
wed get the same answers. Since I just moved here, I
cant interview my relatives like most of the other stu-
dents probably will. As you can see, my plan is to visit the
San Fulano Retirement Village and interview some of the
residents. What do you think?
Thats a great idea. I never wouldve thought of it. I
think youre right about the questions. Besides, I dont
really feel like comparing notes with any of the other
groups. Theyre all a bunch of snots, anyway. They act
like theyre in kindergarten.
Paloma giggled and chanted, Wa-ha-ca, Wa-ha-ca.
We jumped off the bed and started dancing around
while we sang Wa-ha-ca.
At least now we can remember how to pronounce the
name of the state Mrs. Francos great-grandfather came
from thanks to Genaro, I said.
Paloma got behind me and grabbed me by the waist.
We danced around the room chanting Wa-ha-ca, Wa-ha-
ca!
Did you do this in kindergarten? she asked.
She ran into me when I stopped and turned to face
her.
Yeah, we sang a lot, didnt you?
Yeah, but it was just my mom and me. I was home
schooled until this year. About six months ago, Mom got
a call from a friend telling her that her father was retir-
ing and selling his vet clinic here in town. They asked if
she was interested in buying it, so we came to check it
out. When my parents saw this old house, they bought
both the house and the clinic. Mom wanted to go back to
work and she and Daddy thought it was time for me to go
to a regular school.
So your moms a vet?
Yes. And, thats what Ill be when I grow up. What
about you?
Im not sure. I havent decided. I didnt want to tell
her that I hadnt thought about it very much.
Have you always lived in San Fulano? she asked.
I was born here, I said. Where did you live before?
Jamul, California, near San Diego. My grandmother
still lives there. Ill be going back to visit her during holi-
days and summer vacation. Maybe you can come with me
sometime.
Maybe, I said.
Well, I guess we should get back to work. She took
her place on the bed again and I went back to mine.
I plan to interview at least six of the residents, she
said. I intend to ask questions like, who in this town had
26 Estela Bernal
the biggest influence on them and why, how they feel
about the changes theyve seen in their lifetime, and what
they would change back if they could
I only heard some of the rest of Palomas explanation
of her plan. It was a little too complicated for me.
Youve already put a lot of work into the project, I
said when she stopped to catch her breath. Im very
impressed, especially since we have more than a month to
finish it.
I dont believe in putting things off until the last
minute. Ill make my first visit to The Village next week
and meet with the manager wholl help me select the six
people Ill be interviewing.
Sounds like youve thought of everything, I said.
Its a start. Im very excited about this project. This
seems like a cool town, and Id like to know more about
it.
Youre way ahead of me . . . For the second time
since Id been in Palomas house, I almost jumped out of
my socks when I saw something reaching out from under
her bed. I calmed down when I saw it was a cats paw.
The cats head appeared next, eyes shut and mouth wide
open, showing its tongue, teeth and all the little ridges at
the roof of its mouth.
Hi, Clip. This is Mandy. Paloma turned to me and
said, His real name is Eclipse, but he lets us call him
Clip.
Thats nice of him. I scratched Clip between the ears
and that got his motor going.
A knock at the door was followed by Mr. Beltrns
voice. Are you girls ready for a break?
Yes, Daddy.
He walked in with a platter of fruit and two glasses of
thick-looking punch and set them on the bed between us.
I thought you might like a little snack. Lets hope
Mandy likes smoothies as much as you do.
He left the room and Paloma handed me one of the
glasses. I took a sip.
Mmm! How does your dad make these? Ill have to
ask Grandma if she can make some for me. Oh, that
reminds me, I need to call her.
Its blended fruit and nut milk. The phones on the
desk. Why dont you ask your grandmother to join us for
dinner? Daddy always makes lots more than we can eat.
Im sure shes got dinner waiting for me already.
Daddys a great cook. Next time, plan to stay for din-
ner.
Next time? Wow. I felt like Id passed a test I didnt
even know I was taking.
28 Estela Bernal
29
On the way home Grandma asked, Well, how did your
visit go?
Great. You have to see their garden. Youll love it.
A garden? All I saw was a bunch of weeds.
Yeah, well, the inside is the total opposite of the out-
side.
Grandma smiled. Its funny how appearances can be
so deceiving.
After my visit with Paloma, I was too excited to sleep.
I took one of my new spiral notebooks and wrote Letters
to the Worlds Best Dad on the front cover. Then, I wrote
my first letter to him.
Dear Dad,
Im thinking of putting together our family tree
because I want to fill in all the blanks about you and
Mom. Maybe thatll make me feel a little better
about you being gone. I know there are lots of other
lonely kids running around and Im hoping to find
them and try to help them. I think its going to take
some practice, though, because the first person I
thought might be lonely turned out to be very happy.
Chapter Four
Fire!
Shes already my friend. Her name is Paloma. I know
youd like her.
Mom thinks its my fault youre gone. Thats prob-
ably why she doesnt come to see me and Grandma
very much. I wish Id never seen the watch I said I
wanted for my birthday.
I love you and I miss you.
Love,
Mandy
The day Dad died, Id found the T-shirt he had worn
that morning while he washed the car and mowed the
lawn. Id kept it hidden in my sock drawer ever since.
Before I went to bed, I pulled it over my pajamas. I only
did this on special occasions because I didnt want to wear
it out. His scent was starting to fade, but if I closed my
eyes, I could still smell a trace of him in it. To me, it
smelled better than all the flowers in Palomas garden.
Each time I wore it, I felt like I was five years old and
Dad was holding me the way he used to when he read to
me until I fell asleep. He used to say I fit perfectly in his
lapCozy as a baby wallaby in her mothers pouch. I
slept much better when I wore his shirt to bed.
The next day, me and Paloma were sitting in the cafe-
teria eating lunch when Haley Zavala and her clueless
friends walked by.
Haley said, Weirdos and creeps like to hang out
together.
Paloma looked at me with a little smile on her lips.
How do you do it? I asked her. Nothing ever seems
to bother you. Haleys such a mean slob. If she wasnt so
big Id probably punch her in the mouth.
30 Estela Bernal
Oh, no, that would only make things worse. Dont for-
get what she and her friends did to your skirt.
Youre right. Besides, it wouldnt take much for her to
knock me out. I dont know what I was thinking. And I
dont know how you stay so calm.
I begin each day with a sun salutation and spend at
least ten minutes meditating. In the evening, Mom and
Daddy and I try to fit in at least an hour of yoga and med-
itation three or four times a week. Ive been doing it since
I learned to walk, although Mom says I did my own form
of yoga even before I was born, whatever that means.
I remembered watching about five minutes of a yoga
program on TV once. Id decided it was exercise in slow
motion.
Thats like the opposite of aerobic exercise, right?
Id never thought of it that way, but yes, there is a lot
of stretching involved. I like to think of it as exercise for
the mind and soul.
My mind and soul could use a workout. Can you
teach me?
Absolutely! Well start next time you come over.
That night at dinner, I said, Grandma, Palomas
going to teach me yoga.
Thats wonderful, Mandy. You and Paloma seem to
have a lot in common.
Yeah, kind of. Sometimes I feel like I need a dictio-
nary so I can look up all the new words she uses. Youll
have to meet her and her parents. They want you to come
to their house for dinner.
Thats very generous of them. Tell them I said
thanks.
You can thank them yourself, Grandma. You really
should check out their garden.
Well see, she answered, the way she always does
when she doesnt want to commit to something.
Grandma usually let me sleep in on weekends, I was
still in bed one Saturday when the phone rang. I waited
for Grandma to answer, but it kept ringing. I figured she
was outside working in her garden. She hadnt stopped by
since the day she said it was my fault Dad died. I ran in
the living room and picked it up. It was Mom.
Hi, Mandy. How are you?
Before I could answer, she said, I cant pick you up
this weekend because Im going to Seattle. Is there any-
thing I can bring you from there?
When are you coming to see me and Grandma?
Oh, Mandy, Ive been so busy lately. Ill come by as
soon as I get back. I promise.
I really wanted to believe her. I didnt want to jinx her
promise, so I just asked, Do you want to talk to Grandma?
I dont have time. Tell her Ill call when I get back.
After I hung up, I went back to bed. Was mom trying
to run away? Did she think going to Seattle would make
her feel better? If Grandma had answered and asked, Do
you want to talk to Mandy? would she have gotten the
same answer? Maybe Mom wouldve said, Mandy who?
Grandma knocked on my door. Mandy, you cant stay
in bed all day. I could use some help in the garden.
Mom called, I said. Shes going to Seattle, so we
wont see her this weekend either. I skipped the part
about the promise to call when she got back. I figured it
wouldnt happen, so why get Grandmas hopes up?
Grandma opened the door and stuck her head in the
room. Why dont you get dressed so we can go out to
breakfast. On the way back, well stop by the nursery and
32 Estela Bernal
you can help me pick out a wind chime for the back
porch.
I could tell Grandma was trying to make me feel bet-
ter about Mom being gone so much because she took me
to Pancake Chalet. She usually only takes me there as a
special treat. We had dollar-size pancakes with blueberry
syrup.
At the nursery, we picked out a copper wind chime. It
sounded like it was padded inside. The sound it made was
soft and what Paloma wouldve called soothing. We spent
the rest of the day working in Grandmas garden.
After dinner, she knitted and I read and tried to think
of other people I could interview for my project, besides
Mrs. Luna. I couldnt think of anyone. When Grandma
saw me nodding off, she sent me to bed.
Id just fallen asleep when I heard Grandmas voice.
Mandy! Mandy! Wake up.
Grandma? Is Mom okay?
Yes, honey. I didnt mean to scare you. But, theres a
fire across the street. I need to see if theres anything I
can do to help, but I didnt want to leave you here alone.
A fire? I jumped out of bed and ran to the window.
Flames and smoke were lighting up and darkening the
sky at the same time. I heard the fire truck radios and
saw every house on the block was lit up, wide awake.
Grandma came to stand beside me. Its the Arredon-
do house.
Rogelios house?
Yes. What a shame! They just remodeled it about six
months ago.
I thought of Rogelio Arredondo, the fat kid at my
school who looked like the Pillsbury doughboy without
the smile.
Are there people inside? I asked.
I dont know.
Lets go see.
We walked out to the front yard and saw a crowd of
neighbors huddled together as close to the fire as the fire-
men would let them. The fire kept burning like they were
spraying gas on it instead of water.
Grandmas next-door neighbor walked across the
street toward his house. Joe, are the Arredondos okay?
she asked him. Is there anything they need?
Everybodys out, Joe said. Im going to get some
blankets for them. Its a little chilly out here and theyre
shivering.
Let me know if theres anything I can do.
It took a long time to put out the fire.
When she thought the danger had passed, Grandma
said, Were not doing anyone any good out here. You
need to get some rest.
I went back to bed, but I had a hard time falling
asleep.
The next morning, I ran across the street to see what
was left of the house. It looked like some pictures Id seen
of the surface of the moon or some scary planet. Every-
thing was black. Everything looked dead. I kicked a board
sticking out of the ground and little sparks flew out from
under it. I thought again about Rogelio. The kids were
even meaner to him than they were to me. They called
him Redondo and everything about him did seem round
round face, round eyes, round tummy. Another name
they had for him was Sumo, but he was no wrestler. I
used to see him across the street all the time, but we just
ignored each other, like we did at school.
On my way to school, I kept wondering where Rogelio
and his family had been taken. He didnt show up for
classes that day.
34 Estela Bernal
That night, Grandma watched the evening news while
I worked on my project plan. So far I only had the title,
History of San Fulano, and a note to interview Mrs.
Luna.
I was still trying to think of who else I could interview
when I heard Grandma say, Mandy! Come see this.
I ran into the living room in time to see the report on
the fire. They showed the house burning while the family
stood outside, wrapped in Joes blankets and then they
showed a dog.
Lobo alerted the family to the danger by barking
until they woke up, the reporter said. He is now being
called a hero. The family is staying with relatives until
they can rebuild their house, but Lobo needs a temporary
home because the apartment complex where the familys
relatives live doesnt allow pets. Were waiting for one of
our viewers to call and offer him a temporary home.
I looked at Grandma. She looked back at me. Hes a
big dog, Mandy. He needs somebody who can walk him
and
I can play with him so hell get his exercise.
Im sure someone will take him in. Theyll probably
get so many calls
Please, Grandma? You said you wanted to help.
The number again is
I was still holding my pencil and wrote down the num-
ber above Grandmas crossword puzzle. I called the
number and held the phone out to her. She looked at me
for a second before she took the phone.
Hello, she said. We live across the street from the
Arredondos and are wondering if youve found a home for
Lobo. Well, yes, we would like to help. Yes, of course.
Thank you. Grandma gave them her name, address and
phone number.
Well, youve got yourself a temporary dog, she said
after she hung up. Now, we need to talk about your new
responsibilities.
I jumped up and down and hugged her. Ill feed him
and play with him and make sure he has food and water.
And, youll pick up after him.
It took me a second to realize what she meant, but I
was so happy, I said, Yeah, sure.
36 Estela Bernal
37
Lobo was delivered to Grandmas house while I was at
school the next day. When I got home, she handed me a
tennis ball.
Hes waiting for you.
I ran to the backyard to see him. Lobo was no wolf and
he didnt look like a hero either. When he saw me, he
began to wiggle and pant and wag his tail. I threw the
ball. He jumped up and caught it before it hit the ground.
I threw it again and again until my arm got tired, but
Lobo looked like he was just warming up.
Grandma came out to see what we were up to. His
doghouse survived the fire, she said. Joe brought it over
so Lobo can use it while hes here.
I walked over to the corner of the yard to inspect the
doghouse.
It looks like he outgrew it a long time ago.
Oh, Im sure hell be fine, Grandma said. Besides,
the weathers still nice and he can sleep on the back porch
if he wants to.
After dinner we watched TV while Lobo whined at the
back door. Before bed, I went outside to say goodnight.
When I came back in, he began to bark.
Chapter Five
Lobo
Nobodys gonna get any sleep tonight unless we let
him in, Grandma, I said.
Hell be fine once he settles down.
I kissed her goodnight and went to Moms old room,
which was now my room.
Lobo kept barking.
When I thought Grandma had gone to sleep, I snuck
out and let him in.
You have to be quiet, I whispered. He wagged his
tail, like he understood, and followed me to the bedroom.
After hed inspected every inch of the room, he plopped
down on the rug and went to sleep.
Grandma knocked on my door the next morning and
Lobo ran to stand by it.
Pssst, I whispered.
He ignored me and stood at the door, his whole body
wagging.
Mandy?
Coming, I answered as I tiptoed my way toward
Lobo. He barked before I could reach him. Grandma
opened the door and let him out.
Busted! I said. Sorry, Grandma. I couldnt go to
sleep with all the barking.
Thats not the point.
I know, but we both went right to sleep after I let him
in.
Amanda, stop trying to justify your actions. You
deliberately disobeyed me and Im very disappointed.
Now, please just get ready for school or youll be late.
Yes, maam. That seems to be what I do best, disap-
point people.
After breakfast, I went out to say goodbye to Lobo.
Thanks a whole bunch, buddy. Now were both in
trouble.
38 Estela Bernal
He licked my face and wagged his tail like Id just
given him a treat for good behavior.
Rogelio was waiting for me in front of our school.
My mom said your grandma offered to take Lobo
until our house is rebuilt. When we called to thank her,
she said it was your idea.
I shrugged. Yeah, I guess so.
Thanks. I was worried about him, but now I know
hell be okay.
Hey! Sumos got a girlfriend, Pete Monroe yelled. He
made kissing noises as he walked by.
Rogelio ignored him. Mom said youve been staying
with your grandma since your dad died.
I glared at him. He didnt even notice.
Can I walk home with you to see Lobo this after-
noon? he asked.
I started to make an excuse, then I remembered my
new plan about finding and helping lonely kids. Rogelio
must be feeling pretty lonely, especially now that he didnt
have Lobo.
Sure, I said. I think he misses you.
I saw Paloma walking toward us and waved to her.
See you later, I yelled over my shoulder. I ran
toward Paloma.
Whos that? she asked.
His family lived across from my grandmother before
their house burned down night before last. Were taking
care of their dog until they rebuild it.
Thats very nice of you, she said.
Yeah. Well, Ive always wanted a dog. Now I have
one, even if its just a borrowed one.
As we walked toward Mrs. Francos room together, I
noticed the other kids watching us and, for the first time
in my life, I felt like they were envious of me too.
After school, Rogelio was waiting for me again and we
started walking toward Grandmas house. The walk usu-
ally took me about twenty minutes. With him shuffling
along beside me, I could see it was going to take a lot
longer. The school bus drove past us, with kids hanging
out the windows, laughing, pointing and yelling. I could
only make out two names, Sumo and Scarecrow. At the
back of the bus, Paloma stood alone with her hands
against the window. She waved before the bus disap-
peared around the corner.
Rogelio didnt seem to notice any of it. Do you mind if
we stop for a minute?
Without waiting for me to answer, he dumped his
satchel on the ground and knelt in front of it. He was
panting pretty hard while he felt around for something
inside. He pulled out a little spray bottle with a tube on
one side.
Sorry, he said. My asthmas been bothering me
since the fire. He put the tube in his mouth, and pumped
it a couple of times.
Grandma didnt seem surprised to see Rogelio. Hello,
son, how are you? she said.
Fine. Thanks for taking Lobo until we can move
back.
It was Mandys idea, Grandma said. You can thank
her.
I already did, Rogelio said. I hope you dont mind if
I come by to see him sometimes.
Youre welcome here anytime, Grandma said. Hell
be happy to see you.
Lobo was more than happy to see his friend. He
jumped up and landed one paw on each of his shoulders.
He licked his face like he was licking icing off a cake.
Rogelio laughed and let himself be licked. I bounced the
40 Estela Bernal
ball a few times, but Lobo ignored me and the ball until I
handed it to Rogelio. Then he was ready to play.
I was happy to see they were such good friends. They
had each other, and Paloma had Clip. I wished I had my
own pet too.
42
In the cafeteria the next day, we saw Rogelio sitting
by himself at the corner table farthest away from the
entrance. He was scribbling in his notebook and didnt
see us. I couldnt believe it when Paloma walked straight
to his table.
Do you mind if we join you?
I dont care, Rogelio answered.
I looked around, expecting to see the usual trouble
makers laughing and pointing, but nobody seemed to be
paying attention.
Hows Lobo? Rogelio asked me.
Same as yesterday; I said. Hes making himself
right at home. I thought about how I was making myself
at home too, moving in with Grandma little by little.
My dad wants to come over and bring him some food
this weekend, Rogelio said. Will that be okay?
Grandma bought some for him, but he seems to like
table scraps better, I said.
Yeah, thats my Lobo, Rogelio said, with a trace of a
smile on his round face. So, can we come see him on Sat-
urday?
I was relieved to hear he didnt want to walk home
with me again. Sure, I said. Saturday would be great.
Ill tell Grandma youre coming.
Chapter Six
Threes a Crowd
That afternoon, me and Paloma rode the bus to her
house. When the usual giggling, pointing and name call-
ing started, Paloma pulled a book out of her bag and
started showing me the poses I would be learning in my
first yoga class.
We were the last to get off the bus. As soon as we
walked inside, Paloma started peeling off layers of
clothes until she got down to the tights she usually wore
underneath. Id brought a pair of shorts with me and,
after changing into them, I followed Paloma to the little
house in the garden. She laid out two mats and asked me
to stand on one of them. She turned on some music that
sounded like ocean waves crashing all around us. I could
almost feel the sand between my toes.
Well start with a warm-up exercise, Paloma said. It
helps loosen you. Then I want to cover proper breathing
before introducing you to meditation. Its the best way I
know to help me stay centered.
I watched as she went through what she called the
sun salutation sequence.
She put her hands together like her father had done
when I first met him.
This is called prayer pose, she said. I could see why.
Then she raised her arms and arched her back. She called
that the arch-over position. Next, she bent over until she
could touch the floor. It all looked so easy when she was
doing the stretching and bending, but when I tried it, I
had to peek at her to make sure I was doing it right.
After wed gone through the twelve sun salutation
poses, she lay down on her mat.
Now lets concentrate on our breathing.
I didnt think there was anything wrong with my
breathing until Paloma said, Itll be easier if you lie
down on your mat and place one hand on your belly.
I did as she told me.
Feel your belly expand as you take a deep breath.
Hold it for as long as its comfortable. Then, slowly let the
breath out. Relax and let your arms and legs hang loose.
Let go of any thoughts trying to creep in. Concentrate
only on your breath.
I let the waves wash over me and carry me away. I felt
myself turn into a rag doll as my belly rose and fell with
each breath. It was the most peaceful Id felt in the whole
after Dad died. I wanted to stay this way as long as possi-
ble, but then I heard my name. It sounded far away until
I recognized Palomas voice and slowly opened my eyes.
The session ended too soon. I wanted to stay there,
surrounded by the smells and sounds of the garden, but I
felt Palomas hand on my shoulder.
You did so well, Mandy. Youre a natural.
That night I showed Grandma the sun salutation
poses and tried to get her to practice the new way of
breathing Id just learned.
Id never thought about my breathing before, Grand-
ma, I said. I didnt know my lungs could take in so much
air.
Grandma leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes
and pretended to breathe deeply. She looked very tired.
Saturday morning, Rogelio called to ask if it was a
good time for them to come over.
Sure, I said. Ill let Grandma know youre on your
way.
I expected Rogelios father to also be big and round,
but I opened the door and found a tall thin man standing
next to him and a skinny little girl about six years old
holding onto his hand. I stood there like a dummy, star-
ing at them.
44 Estela Bernal
This is my dad, Rogelio said. He lifted the little girls
hand. And this is my sister Susie.
Mr. Arredondo said, Hello, Amanda. Rogelio tells me
youre taking very good care of Lobo.
Hes a good dog, I said. That reminded me why they
were there, so I asked them in.
Lobo went crazy when he saw them. He had a tail-
wagging attack and jumped from one to the other, almost
knocking the little girl down.
We bought a new leash, Rogelio said. Were taking
him for a walk.
When he heard the magic words leash and walk
Lobo ran to the back door, then to the front door, then
back to his friends.
Mr. Arredondo tried to calm him, but Lobo was too
excited.
Youve done us a great favor by taking him in, Roge-
lios father said to Grandma. Its a relief to know hes
safe until we can all be together again.
Were enjoying him, Grandma said. Hes a very
good boy.
When they left with Lobo, I asked Grandma, How
many kids are in the Arredondo family?
Well, lets see. Rogelios the oldest, Susana is the sec-
ond child and Freddys the youngest.
Wow! It must be pretty crowded in their relatives
apartment now that theyre all crammed together.
I would think so. Its a two-bedroom apartment and
Rogelios aunt and uncle have two children.
I sat by the window waiting for them to bring Lobo
back. When I saw them walking up the driveway, I
opened a book and pretended to read.
After they left, Lobo whined and looked out the win-
dow until he realized they werent coming back. I knelt by
him and put my arms around him.
I know just how you feel, I whispered. Its okay.
Youve still got me and Grandma.
Before I went to bed, I wrote another letter.
Dear Dad,
Me and Grandma have a dog named Lobo. Hes
only here for a while because his familys house
burned down, but I get to play ball with him and,
sometimes I read him a bedtime story the way you
used to read to me when I was little.
When his friend Rogelios around, Lobo goes crazy. If
he knew how mean the kids at school are to his friend,
he would probably bite them on the butt, not to hurt
them, just to scare them a little. Me and Rogelio pre-
tend we dont care when they call us names, but it
hurts.
I miss you every day. And I miss Mom.
Love,
Mandy
I lay in bed thinking about the letter Id written.
Although I didnt call Rogelio names, I didnt go out of my
way to be nice to him either. He was fat and I was skin-
ny. I felt sorry for both of us, but I was still embarrassed
to be seen with him. Paloma was beautiful, but she didnt
mind being seen with either of us.
I wondered if Lobo would bite my butt, too, if he knew
how I felt. Since Id disappointed Grandma by disobeying
her the night I let Lobo in, she only let him inside for
short visits during the day. I thought of sneaking him in
but knew wed probably get caught again.
The next day, me and Paloma rode the bus to her
house again.
46 Estela Bernal
I called the manager of the San Fulano Retirement
Village and he said I can stop by Saturday and meet the
residents Ill be interviewing, she said.
Im going to interview Grandmas neighbor. Shes
pretty old and shes lived here all her life.
Thats great, Mandy. I wonder if she knew Mrs. Fran-
cos great-grandfather.
I said, Wa-ha-ca.
Paloma repeated, Wa-ha-ca.
We started giggling until Haley turned around to
glare at us.
After the session, Paloma said, Lets review the poses
we covered last time. We really should plan to start meet-
ing like twice a week. Once you have the basics, you can
practice on your own.
Good idea, I said. That way we can compare notes
on our projects too.
I guess that means were partners?
Unless youd rather have Haley as your partner.
You are soooo funny.
This time, during our yoga session, I was able to do
everything at the same time as Paloma. When she
showed me the tree pose, my toes turned into roots and I
became part of the garden. For a little while I forgot
about Mom. I forgot she thought it was my fault Dad had
died. I forgot it had been a long time since Id seen her. At
the end of the session, I felt the same way Id felt after the
first yoga lesson. I wanted to stay there and blend in with
everything that lived and grew in the garden.
There was a woman in the kitchen cutting vegeta-
bles. Her hair was short, but she was almost as pretty as
Paloma.
Hi, Mom, Paloma said, This is Mandy. Shell be
joining us for dinner.
Her mother turned to me, put her hands together and
bowed her head the way Palomas father had done.
Welcome to our home, Mandy. Palomas told us so
much about you. She said you took in your friends dog
after his house burned down. Hes lucky to have such a
caring friend.
Thank you, I said. I could almost feel Lobos teeth
biting into my butt.
Ive made fresh pineapple, mango and papaya juice,
she said. Please help yourselves. Well eat as soon as
Dad gets home. She smiled and took an avocado from the
huge bowl of fruit and vegetables on the counter, peeled
it, sliced it and put it in the salad she was making.
Before we went to bed, I showed Grandma the single
and double leg lifts, the shoulder stand and the bridge
poses. You should try them, Grandma. Youll love them.
Well see, she said.
The more I learned about yoga, the more I understood
how Paloma could stay so calm while the rest of us
bounced off the walls or looked for a rock to crawl under
whenever anything went wrong. That night I pretended I
was in Palomas garden. I mustve gone to sleep the
minute I closed my eyes. I dreamed the Beltrns birds
serenaded me all night.
At lunch the next day, Paloma said to Rogelio, Im
teaching Mandy yoga.
Yoga? he said.
Yeah. Would you like to join us sometime?
I dont know, Rogelio said.
All you need is a pair of sweats, or shorts, or even
pajamas.
Where do you go for the classes? he asked.
To my house. You can stay for dinner after our ses-
sion if you like.
48 Estela Bernal
At the mention of food, I thought I saw a little light go
on in Rogelios eyes.
Ill ask my mom, he said.
After lunch, as Paloma and I walked to our next class,
I said, Did you have to tell him about the yoga lessons?
She stopped and looked at me. I thought you liked
him.
Why would you think that?
Well, you are taking care of his dog.
So? That doesnt mean I have to be friends with him.
Why not? Hes a nice boy.
I didnt say anything, but her words reminded me I was
supposed to be helping lonely kids. Besides, if it wasnt for
Rogelio, I wouldnt have Lobo.
That night I wrote,
Dear Dad,
Im learning yoga. Paloma says Im a natural. I
think thats because it reminds me of when we used
to go hiking. The first time, you took me on an easy
trail. The next time, you took me on a longer one,
with rocks that made me slip and trip and slide. I
didnt even notice when we started climbing hills
until, one day, we climbed a mountain. We could
almost touch the clouds. Even though it was always
easier to come down, I wanted to stay up there as
long as possible. Thats the way I feel after yoga.
I miss you. And I miss Mom.
Love,
Mandy
50
While me and Grandma ate dinner one night, I
slipped bits of carrot and potato to Lobo behind my back.
Your mom called this morning, Grandma said. She
asked about you.
Its nice of her to remember.
Grandma put her fork down. Honey, shes having a
hard time coping with this tragedy. She
Why couldnt it be her instead of Dad? He never
wouldve left me like she has.
I sat there for a minute, shocked by what Id said.
Then I jumped up, knocked the chair to the floor and ran
to my room. I fell across the bed and started sobbing.
A short time later, Grandma came and sat next to me.
She stroked my hair.
Mandy! I really dont think shes doing this on pur-
pose. We need to be patient and help her until shes ready
to move on.
I turned toward her. Wake up, Grandma. Shes
already moved on. Shes moved on and left me behind.
Grandma sighed, kissed my head and walked out.
I woke up later and heard a familiar panting coming
from the rug. When he heard me stir, Lobo walked to the
Chapter Seven
Centered?
bed and sat in front of me. He licked my hand and laid his
head on the covers.
I twisted one of his ears between my fingers. Thanks,
Mutt! I guess youve managed to convince Grandma
youre an indoor dog.
Since I was now wide awake, I sat up, took my note-
book from the nightstand drawer and wrote:
Dear Dad:
Remember the time we were visiting Uncle Nic and
his parrot clamped his beak around his finger? When
the bird finally let go, Uncle Nic said, Dont you
know youre not supposed to bite the hand that feeds
you?
Well, tonight I was like that parrot, biting Grand-
mas hand when none of this is her fault. I thought I
was making some progress now that Im learning to
breathe and twist myself inside out. Who am I kid-
ding?
By the way, I didnt mean what I said about Mom.
I just wish shed come see us sometime.
Love,
Mandy
The next morning, I walked in the dining room and
saw that Grandma had fixed blueberry pancakes for
breakfast.
Sorry, Grandma. I didnt mean what I said last
night.
I know, honey.
Thanks for the pancakes and thanks for letting Lobo
in. He always knows how to cheer me up.
Sometimes, animals do that better than people.
Before I left for school, I gave her a big hug.
At lunchtime, me and Paloma met Rogelio in the cafe-
teria.
You look terrible, Amanda, he said before wed even
sat down. Hows Lobo?
Thanks a lot, I said. Hes fine.
When can I come see him again?
Grandma said you could visit him anytime. Why
dont you go see him after school? He looked at Paloma,
then turned back to me. Could I come over tomorrow?
My mom said its okay if I go to yoga today. I brought my
sweats.
Perfect, Paloma said. You can ride the bus with us
to my house.
While she explained to him what he could expect from
the first lesson, I saw Haley and the bozos she hung out
with heading in our direction. When they reached our
table, she accidentally knocked over Rogelios can of
soda. The soda ran all over the table. Me and Paloma
jumped up, but by the time Rogelio managed to push him-
self away, the soda had run down the front of his clothes.
He looked like hed peed his pants.
Haley slapped her chest. Oh, clumsy me!
Her blockhead friends laughed and pointed at us.
Why dont you watch where youre hauling your wide
load? I yelled.
Thats no way to talk to your boyfriend! Haley said.
Im talking to you, you mean slug!
We should report you to the principal, Paloma
yelled.
Its okay, Rogelio said. Ill change into my sweats.
But its not okay, Paloma said.
52 Estela Bernal
This was the most un-centered Id ever seen her. It
only lasted a minute. Then, she was her usual cool, cen-
tered self again.
In my mind I was watching Lobo bite as much of
Haleys fat butt as he could fit between his teeth.
After Haley and her gang left, Rogelio held out his
arm. See this?
I inspected his arm, wondering what else could be
wrong with him now.
Paloma mustve not seen anything, either. Im sorry,
but Im not sure what were supposed to be looking at.
My thick skin, he said. Things like this used to
make me cry. Id go home every day, and my mom would
ask what was wrong. Id tell her what the kids had called
me and how theyd laughed at me. One day she said, Son,
youre either going to lose weight or develop a thick skin.
I went through the same thing at your age.
Thats sad, Paloma said.
It doesnt matter. People like Haley and Pete and all of
them are always going to be mean to me for being fat, to
Amanda for being short and skinny, to you for being . . .
you.
Youre right, Paloma said. Theres nothing we can
do about them, but theres plenty we can do about our-
selves. Ive been trying to remember that my whole
conscious life, and it only takes one unconscious moment
to forget. Thank you for pointing that out, Roger.
Rogelio didnt seem to mind Palomas new name for
him.
Its going to take a while to develop skin as thick as
Rogelios or consciousness as centered as Palomas, but
Id had enough of Haley and her clueless friends for one
day and wasnt looking forward to riding the bus with
them. I told myself I was doing it mainly for Rogelios
sake when I went to the office to call Grandma and ask
her to pick us up after school.
Although they didnt say so, I think Rogelio and Palo-
ma were glad we could ride home in peace.
Nobody was home when we got to Palomas. Since
Rogelio was already wearing his sweats, she led us
straight to the garden.
Its been a tough day. What do you say we get start-
ed?
Im ready, I said. I was wearing tights under my
jeans, so I peeled off my pants and dropped them on top
of my book bag.
Rogelio shrugged his shoulders and Paloma took his
shrug as a yes.
Mandy already knows this part, she told Rogelio.
She showed him the same routine shed used during my
first lesson.
Rogelio sat on his mat and watched her go through
the sun salutation poses. Drops of sweat started popping
up on his forehead and upper lip.
Paloma looked at him. Ready to give it a try?
Sure, why not.
I pretended to concentrate on my poses while sneak-
ing peeks at Rogelio as he tried to follow Palomas
example. He moved mainly his arms, hands and head.
When we needed to bend over and lunge forward, he did
the best he could from a standing position.
Great start, Roger, Paloma said. You may want to
practice these poses at home like Mandys doing. Now,
lets practice our breathing.
We lay in a prone position and concentrated on our
breath to clear our mind of all thought.
Breathe slowly and deeply. Again . . . One last time.
Palomas voice was soft and soothing, like her garden.
54 Estela Bernal
We heard a loud snore and turned to look at Rogelio.
Paloma opened her eyes wide, shrugged and grinned. She
crawled over to where he was sleeping and touched his
shoulder.
Roger.
Rogelio kept snoring. She shook him a little. He
didnt wake up until she yelled, Roger!
Rogelio opened his eyes. Yeah?
Ready for a snack?
56
Saturday morning after breakfast, Grandma brought
out a blue velvet box from her bedroom and set it on the
kitchen table.
Since you want to put together your family history, I
thought we could start by sorting through boxes of old
photographs Ive been meaning to show you. She opened
the box and pulled out an old-fashioned wedding picture
like the one hanging on her bedroom wall. Id seen it many
times before, but Id never paid much attention to it. Now
I looked at it closely. The groom sat in a chair with the
bride standing next him, her hand on his shoulder.
She didnt have to tell me these people were her par-
ents. I could see the mans cheekbones on Grandmas
face, and the same eyes, a little too close together. The
woman was so short she had to reach her hand up to his
shoulder, even though he was sitting down. Now I knew
who to blame for my genes.
You look like your father, I said.
Thats what Ive been told, she said. She handed me
a smaller copy of the framed picture she kept on her
dresser. Youve also seen this one before. It was a pic-
ture of her and Grandpa. I never got to meet him because
he died before I was born.
Chapter Eight
Family Roots
Mom looks like her dad, too, I said.
Yes, and shed be the first to agree.
I felt cheated. If Grandma looks like her dad and Mom
looks like her dad, how come I dont look like my dad?
Why did my genes have to skip all the way to Grandmas
short mother?
This is like putting a puzzle together, Grandma
said. I think it will be a good start for your family tree
project.
She took out more pictures and started stacking them
in two separate piles. When she was done, she put the
pile of distant relatives pictures back in the box and we
went through the other pile. There were pictures of Mom
and Uncle Nic as babies and at different ages. There were
school pictures, teenage pictures, pictures of Mom as the
beauty queen she thought she still was.
Then Dad started appearing in the pictures and I real-
ly started checking them out. He was smiling in all of
them, exactly the way I remembered him. Even Mom
looked happy then.
Your fathers family moved away when he was twen-
ty, Grandma said. By then, he and your mom were
engaged. They moved up the wedding date so his family
could all be there. Youll have to write to your Aunt Vic-
toria and see if she can send you names and pictures of
the other half of your family. I think I have the address
from her last Christmas card.
I wasnt in any hurry to write to Aunt Victoria. She
and Mom avoided each other as much as possible. Dad
never said anything bad about her, but I remembered
that she liked to tell stories about how she had to practi-
cally raise him.
All my friends were out having fun while I was stuck
at home changing your diaper, you little stinker, shed
said during one of her last visits.
Dad rolled his eyes at me.
I pinched my nose. Pee-yew!
I guess she really loved him, though, because at his
funeral, she was teary-eyed and red-nosed every time I
saw her.
When wed gone through all the pictures, Grandma
gave me a big brown envelope to keep them in. I carried
them back to the bedroom and pulled out the ones of Dad.
I spread them all across the bed and studied them one by
one. I could almost hear him whispering my name and
knew he was smiling just for me.
That night I wrote:
Dear Dad,
This family tree project is supposed to be part of
my special memorial to you, but so far it doesnt seem
special enough.
Well, at least you know Im trying. Thats all you
ever asked me to do, try my best.
Love,
Mandy
I couldnt fall asleep afterwards. I thought about Mom
and wondered what she was doing since I last saw her.
Lobo, who was now an indoor dog, came to the bed and
licked my nose.
Thanks, Mutt, I said. He wagged his tail as if Id told
him he was going home to his best friend. I know you
miss your buddy, but you and Paloma are the only ones I
know who dont seem to be lonely. Im learning Palomas
secret. Whats yours?
He gave my nose another quick lick before he flopped
back on the rug. I heard him snoring a short time later and,
next thing I knew, Grandma was waking me up for school.
58 Estela Bernal
59
Our second yoga session with Rogelio went better
than the first. Paloma started us out with a longer ses-
sion of stretching. We moved on to poses that even
Rogelio could do, or almost do. She led us through leg lifts
and spinal twists. She helped Rogelio make adjustments
to the poses when his round belly got in the way.
When we lay down, she didnt give him a chance to fall
asleep. She was in his face when we practiced our breath-
ing exercises and we did our meditation in a sitting
position while repeating YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMM-
MMMMMMMMMMMMM.
I think all those things, plus watching Clip stretching
and rolling around beside us, helped Rogelio stay awake.
After the session, Paloma put her hands together and
bowed. Namaste.
What does that mean? Rogelio asked.
I was glad he asked because I was wondering the
same thing but didnt want to sound dumb.
Namaste is a Sanskrit word used as a greeting or
salutation in India and Nepal, Paloma said. It can mean
several things, but in yoga we use it as an acknowledg-
ment of one soul by another. Were basically saying I bow
to you.
Chapter Nine
Namaste
Cool! Rogelio said. He bowed to both of us. Namaste.
It was good to feel that somebody liked you and want-
ed you to know it.
I asked, Daddy to fix my favorite dinner tonight,
Paloma said. I think I can smell it cooking.
She led us back to the kitchen and introduced Rogelio
to her dad.
Mr. Beltrn bowed and welcomed him.
Rogelio bowed back. Namaste.
My wife is working late and wont be joining us
tonight, Mr. Beltrn said. He pointed to the table and
added, Please, make yourselves comfortable.
After we were all seated, Paloma served us each a big
glass of red juice.
Mr. Beltrn held up his glass. To good health.
We saw Paloma raise her glass too and me and Roge-
lio did the same before we took a sip. The drink was
pretty sweet but it made my mouth pucker at the same
time.
This is the best juice I ever had. Rogelio said.
Mr. Beltrn pointed to the food on the table. Help
yourselves to the appetizers.
Paloma picked up a big basket of raw vegetables, put
some on her plate, and passed the basket to me. I
watched her dip a carrot in some kind of white sauce with
chopped nuts sprinkled on top. I did the same thing. The
dip was just as good as the juice, but different.
Are all three of you in the same class? Mr. Beltrn
asked.
Yeah, Rogelio said. But I didnt really know Aman-
da until my house burned down and her and her grandma
took in my dog Lobo.
Im sorry to hear about your house, but its good to
know Mandy and her grandmother are helping out with
60 Estela Bernal
the dog. Maybe we can all go for a hike sometime and
take Lobo along.
Great idea, Daddy, Paloma said.
I stared at my plate. Hiking reminded me of Dad. How
would I feel going on a hike with somebody elses father?
I could see Rogelio wasnt too sure he liked the idea
either. If he could barely keep up on a regular walk, how
would he ever keep up with everybody else on a hike?
I have to ask my mom and dad, he said.
Definitely, Mr. Beltrn said. Its something to think
about. We can do it next month, next year or whenever
youre ready,
After we ate more vegetables than Id ever seen any-
body eat at one sitting, Mr. Beltrn brought a big bowl of
orange-colored soup and slices of brown bread to the
table. He said the soup was made with butternut squash.
It tasted kind of like pumpkin pie, but a little spicy.
When we finished our soup, he took a bubbling pan
out of the oven.
I hope you like moo-sa-ka.
Daddy makes the best, Paloma said.
Mr. Beltrn turned to Rogelio and me. If you like egg-
plant, youll love this dish.
Me and Rogelio looked at each other and back at the
food. He looked like he was thinking the same thing I
was. Eggplant?
Everything else wed eaten so far was good, and this
looked even better, so we didnt complain when Mr. Bel-
trn put a big square piece of it on each plate. I took one
bite and knew why it was Palomas favorite. It was even
better than Moms lasagna.
After dinner, I didnt think I could eat any more. Even
Rogelio was looking like hed had enough, but then Palo-
ma said we were having parfait for dessert. I couldnt
wait to see what it looked like. I took one look and decid-
ed I had just enough room for it.
Do you always eat like this? Rogelio asked.
Mr. Beltrn laughed. If I had the time, we would. My
wife and I love to cook and Paloma loves to eat. Dinner
time is when we get to sit around and share our day with
one another, but we usually eat lighter meals during the
week. Tonight, Paloma requested her favorite meal espe-
cially for you.
Thanks, I said. Everything was great.
Im glad you liked it, Paloma said. I told you it was
the best.
On the way home, I told Grandma about the dinner
and the hiking invitation.
Im glad youre sharing your new friend with Roge-
lio, she said. Hes a good kid and, from what you tell me
about Paloma, she sounds like a sweetheart. Youve even
got me thinking about yoga these days.
I was already in bed when I remembered seeing a
towel on the living room floor a couple of days before.
Lobo was lying on it, but I know Grandma hadnt put it
down for him. Maybe she was watching the yoga program
on TV.
After school the next day, I saw Coach Renfroe stand-
ing in the middle of the track while Rogelio walked
around it. Even from where I was standing, I could see
Rogelios face was red and he looked like he was panting.
Was he being punished?
62 Estela Bernal
63
Were having a guest for dinner, Grandma said as
soon as I walked in the door. For a minute I thought she
was talking about Mom, but then she said, Mrs. Luna
doesnt get out much these days and I thought this would
give you a chance to tell her about your school project.
That reminded me I hadnt made much progress on
the project. Me and Paloma had come up with a list of
questions, but I decided I would rather tell people what I
was working on and take notes about whatever they told
me. Maybe Id think up better questions while they
talked, depending on what they said.
After Paloma showed me her plan, Id started my own.
So far it didnt look very good.
History of San Fulano Project
I. Interviews:
A. Mrs. Luna
B.
II. Questions:
Chapter Ten
Progress
I put my pencil and pocket notebook on the windowsill
so theyd be easy to reach when Mrs. Luna started talk-
ing about San Fulano.
She rang the doorbell while I was setting the table. I
already knew she was little, but when I opened the door
and we stood face to face, I noticed she was no taller than
me, even with her old-fashioned high-heeled shoes.
Hello, Amanda. How are you?
Hi, Mrs. Luna. Please come in.
During dinner Mrs. Luna picked at her food, eating a
bite every once in a while. She was on her third cup of cof-
fee when she asked me how I liked school. I told her I
liked it and then jumped right into the topic of my San
Fulano project. That was all it took to get her going.
One of my fondest childhood memories is of my
fathers 1927 Model T. He inherited it from his father. I
remember how exciting it was to go for a drive on Sunday
afternoons. My brother and sister and I thought we were
flying when we were really just chugging along at thirty
miles an hour. There were no traffic lights or signs at that
time because only a few people in town had a car and
there was very little traffic.
Wow, Id seen pictures of Model Ts before, but I
thought you had to be rich to own one.
Gasoline cost ten cents a gallon. My father thought
that was highway robbery, but he always managed to
come up with a few extra pennies for us to buy a treat. We
would each buy a piece of our favorite candy, and togeth-
er we would buy an Orange Crush and pass it around
until it was gone. My brother used to take the biggest
gulp he could manage when it was his turn. Sometimes
pop would squirt out of his mouth when he tried to swal-
low. Mother had a hard time getting the stains out of his
shirts.
64 Estela Bernal
As she talked, her eyes shone bright and twinkly
until she started talking about her children.
It was hard to lose them one by one, she said. But
it was especially hard when my only son died. He blamed
himself when his three-year-old son ran into the street
and was hit by a car. There was nothing anyone could do
to make him understand it was an accident. He couldnt
eat or sleep or work. Eventually, he gave up and died of
grief. The custom back then was to wear black when you
lost someone you loved. After my son died, I never wore
any other color.
I thought of Mom and the black dress shed worn to
Dads funeral.
Suddenly, Mrs. Luna looked at me. Oh, dear, Im so
sorry. I feel like Ive spoiled a lovely dinner by getting so
sentimental. Im not much better than the boys who used
to hang skulls and skeletons from tree branches in our
front yard every Halloween. In fact, Im worse than they
were because its not even Halloween and I had no right
to bring such dark clouds into your life, especially since
you, too, have suffered such a terrible loss so recently.
Its okay, I said. My school counselor said some-
times it helps to talk about things that make us sad.
Youre wise beyond your years, Amanda, Mrs. Luna
said. I think, no matter how old we get, were all children
carrying around a big load of pain. She patted my hand.
Mine is much lighter now that Ive shared it with you.
Mrs. Franco said we would get extra credit if we
brought in pictures and other old stuff people save. Do
you have anything like that?
I certainly do, dear. Ill see what I can find and you
can come over and pick out whatever you think would be
of interest to your class.
I realized Id forgotten all about my notebook, but I
was sure I would remember everything Mrs. Luna told
me. Since she was inviting me to visit her, I could always
ask her more questions, if I thought of any.
I lay awake that night thinking about Mrs. Lunas
words, Were all children carrying around a big load of
pain. Here I was, running around looking for kids to com-
fort, and overlooking all the grown children right under
my nose, including Mom.
On my way out the door the next morning, I remind-
ed Grandma Id be late getting home because I was going
to Palomas house after school.
Ill pick you up and drive you there, she offered.
Thanks, I said. It was always a relief not to worry
about riding the bus with Haley, Felix, Pete and all the
other clowns.
I could hardly wait to tell Paloma Id started my pro-
ject. Of course, I would have to leave out the parts about
not exactly interviewing Mrs. Luna and not exactly hav-
ing an outline, but the stuff Id learned was really
interesting. Besides, as long as I finished the project,
what did it matter how I did it?
At lunchtime, Rogelio didnt say anything about why
he was walking around after school. I didnt ask him
what was going on because I didnt want to embarrass
him. I did notice that he had carrot sticks, an apple and
orange juice with his sandwich instead of his usual pota-
to chips and soda.
When I told Paloma about Mrs. Luna she said, It
sounds like youve made a lot of progress. Ive met the
people Ill be interviewing, but havent actually inter-
viewed any of them yet.
It looked like I was ahead of her, even though I wasnt
really following all the rules. So what if I took a shortcut?
I was right on schedule as far as I was concerned.
66 Estela Bernal
How are you doing on the project? Paloma asked
Rogelio.
Rebecca is interviewing her mothers uncle and I
Pinkys your partner? I said.
Rogelio gave me the stink eye. Her name is Rebecca.
Yeah, thats what I meant, I said, wondering if I
wouldve ended up with Rebecca or Rogelio as partners if
I hadnt found Paloma first.
Im interviewing my dads friend, Rogelio said. Hes
like a hundred years old.
No hes not, I said.
How do you know?
Because Im interviewing Grandmas neighbor. She
has to be the oldest person in town.
Well, maybe theyre both a hundred.
Maybe theyre both from Wa ha ca, Paloma said.
We all giggled and sang, Wa ha ca! Wa ha ca!
Rogelio jumped in the front seat with Grandma.
Hello. Hows Lobo?
He had asked me the same question at lunchtime, the
way he always did.
Hello, son, Grandma said. Other than missing you,
Lobos doing well. Mandy takes very good care of him.
I know. I already thanked her, he said, as if Grand-
ma had asked him to thank me again.
At Palomas house, Grandma turned to her. Since
you and your family are feeding Rogelio and Mandy so
well, I thought Id help out by bringing along this pro-
duce. Some of it is from my own garden. I think Rogelio
will be happy to help you carry it in.
Rogelio held up the basket for us to see. It was full of
apples, oranges, persimmons, corn, tomatoes and even
three little pumpkins.
Thank you, Paloma said. Would you like to come in
and see our garden?
Maybe another time, Grandma said. Have fun.
Rogelio got out of the car with his arms wrapped
around the basket. He bumped the door shut with his
butt and carried the basket inside.
During the yoga session, he bent down a little lower,
raised his arms a little higher and stretched back a little
farther. He even managed to stay awake on his own for
the whole hour.
Palomas dad was in the kitchen blending smoothies
for us.
He shut off the blender. Hi, kids. Did you have a good
session?
Yeah, Rogelio said. Ive been practicing and Im get-
ting better all the time.
Its true, Paloma said. I have the best yoga part-
ners.
Excellent, her father said. He poured the blender
contents into four glasses. By the way, I took the liberty
of using some of the fruit from the basket I found on the
counter.
Great, I said. Grandma will be happy to hear that.
A timer went off and Mr. Beltrn said, I hope youre
hungry because its time to eat.
Rogelio grabbed the same chair hed used the time
before. He sat down, shoved a corner of his napkin into
his T-shirt under his chin and picked up his fork.
I think that was a yes.
68 Estela Bernal
69
Before I headed home the next day, I stopped by the
track and stood behind a tree, where Coach Renfroe
couldnt see me. I saw him standing with one hand on
Rogelios shoulder while he pointed to one part of the
track and then another and another. He didnt look like
he was mad.
Rogelio nodded and started walking. He was walking so
slowly, I got bored watching and headed home. I didnt say
anything to Grandma, but I couldnt stop thinking about
him. He wasnt very good at keeping secrets from what I
could tell, but this was one thing he wasnt talking about.
At lunch the next day he asked Paloma, Do you have
a middle name?
Paz, Paloma said.
I shouldve known. Paloma PazDove Peace. Since
you call me Roger, Im going to call you Dove.
Paloma giggled. Thats fair, as long as you dont call
me Peace.
What about you, Amanda? Rogelio asked.
I dont have a middle name, but I like my nickname
better than my name.
Chapter Eleven
Dove
Okay, Ill call you Mandy from now on. Rebecca likes
to be called Becca. She collects frogs and gives them all
names that start with B: Bruno, Bluto, Buffy and I forgot
the rest.
She sounds nice, Paloma said.
Rogelio, how come youre walking after school? I
asked before she had a chance to ask Rogelio to bring
Rebecca to the yoga sessions.
His face got really red, like he was choking on his car-
rot.
I talked to Coach Renfroe about starting an exercise
program. Because of my asthma, he thought I should
start by walking a few times around the track. The first
time I walked fifteen minutes. Two weeks later Im walk-
ing forty minutes. I already lost five pounds.
While Paloma was congratulating him, I started get-
ting an idea.
Oh, no. I forgot I was supposed to meet Mr. Q. this
morning, I said. I better go see him now.
I ran out of the cafeteria, but instead of going to Mr.
Qs office, I headed straight to the health classroom.
Coach Renfroe, who also teaches health, usually ate his
lunch in there. I forgot that most of the time he had a stu-
dent or a group of students there with himmostly boys,
who liked to talk to him about baseball or basketball or
whatever sport they were interested in.
I remembered to knock, but I didnt hear an answer,
probably because I was busy looking around to make sure
nobody saw me.
I knocked again and this time I heard the coach say,
I said come in. I dont have all day.
I opened the door and almost slammed it shut when I
saw Mr. Q. sitting there, eating a sandwich.
Hello, Amanda, they both said at the same time.
70 Estela Bernal
I assume youre here to see the coach, Mr. Q. said.
He picked up his lunch bag and drink. Talk to you later,
Ed. He turned to me when he reached the door. Come
see me sometime, Amanda.
I will, I said, and kind of meant it.
How can I help you, Amanda? Coach Renfroe said
when Mr. Q. had gone.
Well, you know Rogelios house burned down.
I heard about his house. I also heard you took in his
dog. Hes lucky to have a friend like you.
Thanks, I said. I wondered if Rogelio had told him
about Lobo, but I figured he didnt need to know the
whole story. He didnt need to know I wanted Lobo
because Id always wanted a dog.
I saw him walking around the track and was won-
dering if I could surprise him by bringing Lobo over here
to walk with him, I said.
Lobo must be his dog. I like that idea. Hes already
pretty motivated as it is, but having his dog along would
be a great incentive to keep him going. Theres only one
thing, though. You need to promise one of you will clean
up after Lobo.
I promise. Thanks. See you later. I started to walk
out.
Whats the hurry? We have a few minutes before the
bell rings. Have a seat and tell me how youre doing.
I sat where Mr. Q. had been sitting. Fine, I said.
We havent had a chance to talk much lately, but
every time I see you I think of your dad. Did you know he
and I went to school together?
I shook my head.
He was one of the most popular guys at our school. I
was always a little envious of him, especially when he
started dating your mom. By the way, hows she doing?
Okay.
Good. You tell her I said hello.
Okay. If I ever see her again.
Stop by again sometime, he said as I made my way
to the door.
As soon as the last bell rang, I ran all the way home.
Whats wrong? Grandma asked when she saw me.
Ill explain later, Grandma. I need to take Lobo to
school. Wheres his leash?
Take a minute to catch your breath and tell me what
this is all about.
Rogelios walking around the track. I asked the coach
if I could bring Lobo to school so they can walk together.
Its a surprise.
In that case, let me drive you both there. His leash is
hanging by the back door. You get Lobo and Ill get the
car keys.
Grandma kept a box of plastic bags by Lobos toys to
remind me to clean up the yard every time I went out to
play with him. I pulled out one bag, put Lobos favorite
ball inside it and tied it to his collar. Grandma opened the
back window for him. He stuck his head out the window
and smiled all the way to the school.
You dont have to wait, Grandma, I said when she
dropped us off at Central.
Are you sure? She knew I never took Lobo for walks
because he was too big and had gotten away from me the
one time Id tried to walk him.
Im sure. Hell probably be all worn out, so I should
be able to walk him home okay.
She poked around in her purse until she found her cell
phone. She handed it to me.
Call me if you have any problems.
72 Estela Bernal
I stuck the phone in my back pocket and me and Lobo
ran to the fence that surrounded the track. He saw Roge-
lio on the other side of the track and started whining and
shaking with excitement. I unhooked his leash and he
took off like a rocket. I thought he was going to flip over
because his body seemed to be running faster than his
legs.
Rogelio mustve heard him coming. He froze with a
scared look on his face, but then he saw Lobo and started
laughing.
Lobo! Hey, buddy, how are you?
Lobo stood with his front paws on Rogelios shoulders
and licked his face. As I walked toward them, I saw Coach
Renfroe sitting in a chair, under a tree. He looked like he
was grading papers. I held up the leash and the bag with
Lobos ball inside, and waved to him. He waved back.
Surprise! I yelled when I got to where Rogelio and
Lobo were still hugging and kissing.
I tossed the ball to Rogelio and he threw it. Lobo shot
off after it.
Thanks, Mandy. I wish Dove was here to see Lobo.
Hes the coolest dog on the planet.
Well, excuse me for breathing! Sorry I didnt arrange
it so she could be the one to surprise you.
Chill, Mandy! I didnt mean it that way. I just meant
the three of us are a good crowd and I know she would
love Lobo, too.
Since when do you say chill anyway?
Since I started yoga classes and learned how to chill.
Oh.
We both busted out laughing.
74
Saturday morning Grandma gave me a picture album.
I took it to my room and flipped through it. It was most-
ly full of pictures of Mom and Dad and mebirthday
pictures, holiday pictures and pictures of me learning to
ride my bike. One whole page was just pictures of me and
Dad. I remembered Aunt Victoria had taken those. Some
of them were a little blurry because we were clowning
around, crossing our eyes, sticking out our tongues and
holding up our fingers like horns behind each others
head. In one picture, Dad was holding my baby shoes in
one hand and my big left foot in the other.
I took a picture out of the album. It was of Dad with
one of Moms scarves around his neck. He was on his
hands and knees and I was sitting on his back holding the
scarf. Somebody had written, Mandys first pony ride on
the back. It looked like Moms writing.
The pictures reminded me I still hadnt written to
Aunt Victoria. I decided now was a good time to write and
tell her about my memorial project. I stuck the pony pic-
ture in the envelope with the letter.
Monday morning I put the letter in Grandmas front-
porch mailbox before I left for school.
Chapter Twelve
Family Reunion
At the front gate, I saw Mrs. Luna walking back from
church.
Good morning, Mrs. Luna.
Good morning, Amanda. When will you have time to
come over and see the pictures and keepsakes Id like to
show you?
Im kind of busy, but maybe sometime next week. Ill
call you as soon as I can.
Perfect, she said. Your visit will be the highlight of
my day. Have a wonderful day.
You too, I said. I know people say that all the time
at the store, at the gas station, on the phone. Its like
asking How are you? and not really wanting to know. I
call it fake politeness. But when Mrs. Luna said it, it
sounded like she really meant it. It made me feel good.
My good mood melted like hot candle wax when I saw
Haley and her gang heading toward me as they stepped
off the bus.
How come your boyfriend has to walk after school?
Haley asked.
Hes probly in training for the Olympics, one of the
other noodle-brained losers said.
You should try walking too instead of running your
mouth all the time, I said.
Youre probly jealous now that hes spending all his
time with Pinky.
Her name is Rebecca and
Before I could finish, Haley ran over and grabbed me
by the front of my sweater. Ill call her anything I want,
scarecrow.
She shoved me and I staggered backwards until I hit
the flagpole. I charged at her, head down, like an angry
goat. We both fell to the ground. Haley rolled over and lay
on top of me, squeezing the air out of me.
Get her, Haley. Get her! her friends yelled.
I was about to pass out when I heard, HALEY!
Id never been happier to see Mr. Q. He pulled Haley
off me and knelt down to see if I was still alive.
You okay, Amanda? he asked.
I took a couple of deep breaths. Yeah, now that you
got that whale off me I am.
He helped me up and turned to look for Haley, but
shed disappeared.
What was that all about? he asked.
You should ask her, I said. Shes always looking for
trouble.
Mr. Q. walked me to my class and looked around for
Haley, but she wasnt there. He walked up to Mrs. Fran-
co and whispered something to her. She nodded and he
gave me a quick look before he left. We didnt see Haley
the rest of the day.
What happened this morning? Paloma asked as we
walked to math class. You looked like youd been hit by
a truck.
I was, I said. Ill tell you about it at lunch.
During lunch I told her and Rogelio about my
wrestling match.
Oh, Mandy. Shes getting worse. She cant keep get-
ting away with stuff like that.
She didnt. Mr. Q. saw the whole thing. I wouldnt be
here if he hadnt. I dont think were going to be seeing her
for a while.
That afternoon, Paloma took a box sitting on her
kitchen counter and handed it to Rogelio.
This is from Daddy, she said.
Wow! he said. Its not even my birthday or nothing.
76 Estela Bernal
He yanked off the ribbon, opened the box and pulled
out a loose white shirt that looked like it was suppose to
just wrap around him, and a pair of loose white pants.
Its a karate gi uniform, Paloma said. Daddy has
one like it. Sometimes he wears it for meditation and
other times he just likes to wear it around the house.
Cool! Can I put it on now?
Sure. Well be in the garden.
Its perfect, Rogelio said when he came into the gar-
den wearing his new outfit. Thanks. How did your dad
know my size?
I guess dads know that kind of stuff, Paloma said.
Hell be glad to hear you like it.
I dont know if it was the new outfit, the meditation,
the walks with Lobo or what, but Rogelio was suddenly
getting really good at yoga. If he kept going like he was,
Paloma would have him standing on his head before too
long. I was kind of glad for him.
Haley didnt show up at school for a week after Mr. Q.
saw her squeezing me to death. I hoped shed never come
back.
Lobo quickly got used to seeing Rogelio almost every
day. On the days when he wasnt going to see his friend,
I took him outside and spent extra time throwing the ball.
We were in the backyard one afternoon when I heard
Grandma talking to someone. At first I thought she was
on the phone, but then I heard Moms voice. I threw the
ball against the fence and ran inside.
I stopped in my tracks. Moms hair was gone, cut
down to almost nothing. Her head looked like Dads chin
when he used to skip his morning shave on his days off.
Hi, Mandy, she said. Dont I get a hug?
What . . . happened to your hair? I asked.
I got tired of it. I needed a change. Dont worry. Itll
grow back. Now, how about that hug?
I walked up to her and put my arms around her waist.
It was like hugging a bag of bones. I also noticed she
smelled smoky.
I was thinking the three of us could go out to dinner,
Mom said. We can catch up on things while we eat.
Where would you like to go?
I looked at Grandma, but she just smiled to let me
know the decision was mine.
Since we hardly ever ate out, I had no idea where we
should go. Then I remembered Paloma talking about her
familys favorite restaurant.
I dont know where it is, but my friend Paloma says
The Garden is really good. She should know because her
mom and dad are great cooks. I can look it up in the
phone book.
Dont bother. Mom punched some numbers into her
cell and asked for The Gardens number. Then she called
the restaurant for directions.
Its about a thirty-minute drive, so it better be worth
it. I shouldve asked about their menu. Oh, well, Im up
for an adventure. Are we ready?
As soon as I got in the car, the smell of cigarette
smoke almost made me gag. There was one of those little
pine tree air fresheners hanging from the rearview mir-
ror, but it didnt seem to be doing much good. What else
was Mom doing besides working and drinking and smok-
ing? She sure didnt look like she was eating.
On the way to the restaurant, Mom sounded like she
knew what I was thinking. She talked about how busy
shed been at work and how she barely had time to do
anything but sleep when she wasnt working.
How come youre working so much? I asked.
78 Estela Bernal
This time, Mom actually thought about my question
for a while. Ive just felt that I needed to stay busy.
Working keeps my mind occupied and I dont have time to
worry about other things.
Yeah, other things like me.
But I needed a break from the craziness at work. I
took a couple of days off, got lots of rest yesterday and
caught up on stuff at home today so I could come and
have dinner with both of you.
Im glad you did, Olga, Grandma said. Weve
missed you,
Yeah, I guess its been a while, hasnt it? Mom said.
At the restaurant, the hostess asked if we wanted to
sit inside or in the patio.
Is there a real garden out there? I asked.
Absolutely, complete with fruit and shade trees, flow-
ers, vegetables and herbs, she said.
Outside, then, I said.
As we looked through the menu, Mom said, Is this
friend of yours some kind of health nut?
Well, her family is very health conscious, I said.
Shes teaching me and Rogelio yoga and meditation.
That sounds interesting, Mom said without looking
up from the menu. I think Ill try their garden delight
salad and a glass of wine.
Grandma ordered the garden lasagna and tea.
I ordered the garden pizza and a tropical smoothie.
After we ordered, Mom turned to Grandma and me.
So, whats new with you two?
We have a dog, I said.
Mom gave Grandma a raised-eyebrow look. Me and
Dad had always wanted a dog, but shed always found
some reason why we shouldnt get one.
Were fostering the Arredondos dog, Grandma said.
You probably noticed their house burned down. Were
keeping him until they rebuild it.
Thats nice, Mom said.
She turned back to me. Amanda, whats wrong with
your eyes?
Why does everybody keep asking about my eyes?
Probably because youre blinking a lot, Mom said.
She has an appointment with my eye doctor, Grand-
ma said.
Lets hope you dont need glasses, Mom said. Hows
school?
Good. Im working on two projects. One is a history of
San Fulano and one is a family tree. Grandmas been
helping me with one and Mrs. Lunas helping me with the
other. Grandma has lots of pictures Id never seen before.
Maybe on one of your days off you can come over and help
us.
What do I know? Grandmas the best resource for
that kind of stuff. Besides, Im so exhausted that most of
the time I dont even know what day it is.
Olga, Grandma said, you cant keep going on this
way. You need to take more time off once in a while. Wed
like to see you more often, spend more time with you.
I know. Ive been keeping a crazy schedule and need
to slow down a bit.
Before Mom could say anything else, the waitress
walked up with our drinks. The smoothie was just as good
as the ones Mr. Beltrn made. When she brought our
food, I knew Id be taking half of the pizza home.
This is the best salad Ive ever had, Mom said. Ill
have to remember this place. She actually ate the whole
thing.
Grandma, too, ate everything.
I asked for a take-out container.
80 Estela Bernal
While we waited for the check, Mom said, I was in
Seattle a few weeks ago and Im thinking of going back
soon. Maybe you can both come with me. Youll like Seat-
tle.
Grandma looked at me. That might be fun. What do
you think, Mandy?
Was she kidding? Id go to the moon if thats what it
took to spend time with Mom.
Yeah, I said. That would be great!
On the ride back, Grandma did most of the talking. She
talked about her garden, about Mrs. Lunas visit, about
Lobo. Mom nodded a lot, but her mind seemed far away.
Thanks for dinner, Grandma said when we got back
to her house.
Mom touched my hair and kissed my head. Youre
long overdue for a haircut. Maybe Grandma can take you
to Short Cuts.
Why cant you take me? When are you gonna let me
come home?
Mom looked surprised. Oh, Mandy. Ive just been so
busy.
Youre always busy, I said before I ran in and shut
myself up in her old bedroom.
After my bath, I sat at Moms old dresser holding her
hand mirror to get a better look at the back of my head
and see how long my hair was. Mom was right. It was
starting to look raggedy.
Still holding the mirror, I took a good look at myself and
thought about what Coach Renfroe had said. I probably
only reminded him of Dad because he knew I was his
daughter. I sure didnt look like him, or Mom. Why couldnt
I look a little like both of them? Why did I have to look
like a scarecrow with braces? Before I knew it, Id thrown
the mirror against the wall and watched a gazillion
pieces fly all over the bed and the floor.
Mandy! Grandma yelled from the next room. Are
you okay?
I took a deep breath before I yelled back, Yeah,
Grandma, I just dropped the mirror.
After she went to bed, I shook the pieces of broken
glass off the bedspread and got the broom and dustpan
from the kitchen. As I was sweeping up the mess, I
noticed the big dent the mirror had made on the wall. I
took a picture of me and Dad and taped it to the wall to
cover it up.
On my way out the door the next morning, Grandma
handed me my lunch. It was bigger and heavier than usual.
All I remember about that morning was the bell ring-
ing between classes. Everything in between was a big
blank with images of Mom and her new bald look. I won-
dered what Dad would say.
At lunchtime, I opened my lunch bag and found the
leftover pizza and an apple.
Rogelio took one look and said, Want to trade a slice
for half of my peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich?
Sure. And you can have the third slice, I said to
Paloma.
You went to The Garden! she said.
Yeah. Mom took me and Grandma there for dinner.
What did you have for dessert?
We didnt have room for dessert, I said.
You have to leave room for dessert next time. Its my
favorite part of the meal. Did you at least visit their bak-
ery? Its right next door.
Ill have to remember that, I said.
We spread our lunches on the table and each had part
of everyone elses lunch. It was like having a picnic in the
cafeteria.
82 Estela Bernal
83
Art would be one of my favorite classes because I like
the subject so much, but Ms. Taylors classroom is such a
circus. The classroom clowns usually take over and the
rest of us just tune out. Principal Garza and Mr. Q. take
turns visiting the classroom about once a week. Ms. Tay-
lor, who looks like she could be our older cousin, is a great
teacher and the whole class looks like theyre in love with
her while the principal or counselor is there. As soon as
they leave, though, the mischief makers turn wild, wilder
than any monster in Where the Wild Things Are.
Monday morning I was looking out the window in art
class, thinking about going to Seattle with Mom and
Grandma when I heard Sam Ballew say, Scarecrows in
La-La Land. I turned to glare at him.
Amanda, were talking about the five senses and
some people here act like theyve never heard of them,
Ms. Taylor said. Could you remind them what they are?
The eyes, nose, mouth, fingers and ears, I said.
Close enough. Ms. Taylor started to rattle them off,
The sense of sight, smell, taste
You forgot common sense, Pete Monroe yelled.
Chapter Thirteen
Common Sense
Pete, since youre so eager to show us how smart you
are, please tell us which sense you would give up if you
had to give one of them up.
He doesnt have any sense to begin with, Haley
yelled from the back of the room. The class exploded in
laughter.
If I had a choice, I wouldnt give up any of them,
Pete shouted back. I tuned out again and went back to
staring at the maple tree outside the classroom window.
As I watched its leaves shiver and shake in the wind, I
thought about Ms. Taylors question. I would never will-
ingly give up my eyesight because, even though I could
see Dad in my dreams, I still loved to look at pictures of
him.
I could never give up my sense of smell because,
although his scent was fading from his shirt, there was
still a trace of him left on it.
I loved to touch the softness of that shirt, so I couldnt
give up my sense of touch.
I loved to hear the birds sing. They made me think of
all the sounds hed always pointed out to me on our hikes,
so I had to hold on to that sense.
If I had to, I would give up my ability to speak. Even
if I never spoke another word, I could still write to Dad.
On my way out, I stopped by Ms. Taylors desk and
told her what Id decided.
Thanks, Amanda, but speech is not considered one of
the five senses. May I ask what made you pick that one,
though?
I figure I can always write or learn sign language, I
said.
She smiled. If I didnt depend on my voice for my
livelihood, I would have to agree with you. Im glad we
dont have to make that choice.
84 Estela Bernal
I smiled back and thought she might be better off
teaching sign language. Maybe then, the kids would lis-
ten to her. On my way home I decided, although I would
miss my sense of taste, if I had to give up one of my sens-
es, it would have to be the one to go.
Grandma had dinner waiting for me when I got to her
house because she knew I was going to see Mrs. Luna
later. I gobbled up my spaghetti and ran out the door.
I wasnt the only one looking forward to our visit. Mrs.
Luna opened her door before I had a chance to knock. The
first thing I noticed was that she was wearing a gray
dress instead of the usual black. She saw me staring at it.
Its not exactly festive, she said, but its a step in
the right direction, dont you think? Come on in. Ever
since you called and said youd be over today, Ive been
looking forward to seeing you.
Id never been in her house before, but it felt like Id
been there many times. Everything looked familiar, like
maybe Id visited in a dream. The smell of freshly baked
cookies almost covered up the smell of mothballs, dust
and stale air. Although the room was mostly dark, I could
see the furniture was not very different from Grandmas.
A whole wall of her living room was covered with pic-
tures. There were pictures on every table and on the
fireplace mantel. I couldnt see them clearly, but I
guessed they were probably of her husband and children.
She led me into the dining room where I noticed some
boxes and albums stacked on the dining table. Next to
them were two mugs and two small plates.
Theres a lot of history sitting thereso many mem-
ories, both bitter and sweet, Mrs. Luna said. Im glad
youre going to let me share them with you. Sit down.
Make yourself comfortable while I get our cookies and
chocolate.
She disappeared into the kitchen and came back with
a plate of cookies and a teapot.
I have to confess I cant remember the last time I
baked, dear. Hopefully, the cookies are edible. Theyre
made with piloncillo.
The first time Id gone with Grandma to Titas Mexi-
can Market and seen some big brown cones on the shelf,
Id asked her what they were.
Theyre called piloncillo, shed said. Theyre basical-
ly packed brown sugar.
I guess Mrs. Luna had baked sugar cookies. Whatev-
er they were, they sure smelled good.
I asked your grandmother not to serve dessert this
evening so you would have room for a cookie or two, she
said as she poured chocolate into each cup. Since I dont
have many guests these days, I thought it would be nice
to share some sweets with you. I used to bake these when
my son was small. Go on. Help yourself before the choco-
late gets cold. Once I start pulling out memories from
those boxes, I may lose track of time.
After I bit into a cookie and almost broke my tooth, I
felt around with my finger to make sure my braces hadnt
cracked.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, dear. These are dipping cook-
ies, Mrs. Luna said. She dipped one in her cup to show
me how it was done. I tried it and, when the cookie had
soaked up some of the chocolate, it was much easier to
eat.
After four cookies and two cups of chocolate, I helped
Mrs. Luna clear the table.
My teacher, Mrs. Franco, said her great-grandfather
came from Wa-ha-ca, I said, trying not to laugh. Do you
know where your family came from?
Oh, yes. My fathers family came from Veracruz and
my mothers from New Mexico. My mother was a baby
86 Estela Bernal
when her family moved to San Fulano. Unfortunately, I
dont have pictures of my grandparents, but Ive arranged
what I do have in chronological order. Since I know your
main interest is how this relates to the history of San
Fulano, Ill only show you my favorites. Otherwise, I risk
keeping you here for days and boring you to tears.
The first picture she showed me was of her at the age
of six months. In it, her mother is holding her up like a doll.
Then she took out a picture of her and her classmates
in front of their one-room school.
This was the first school in San Fulano, she said. It
was built by the men of the town in one week. It used to
be where the Thrifty Mart now stands. I wish it had been
preserved, but until now, no one seems to have cared
about the history of our town. Please thank your teacher
for me. It was very wise of her to give your class this
assignment.
Could I make a copy of this for my project? I asked.
Ill have copies made of anything you think will help
with your project, she said. Thatll be my contribution to
the preservation of our towns history. Lets set this aside
for now.
In the next picture she showed me, three kids were
hanging out the windows of a beautiful old black car.
This is my fathers famous Model T. He loved that
car. He would wash it every weekend whether it needed
to be washed or not. We used to help him scrub the tires,
fenders and bumpers. It always looked like a shiny black
diamond.
Could I have a copy of this picture too? I asked.
Certainly. Well set that one aside as well, she said.
After she showed me the first picture of her husband,
I could pick him out in all the other pictures. He always
stood with one hand on his hip, even in their wedding pic-
ture.
Mrs. Luna then showed me another baby picture.
Our first daughter, Mirella, was born with a defective
heart. She died before she was a year old. Our second
daughter, also named Mirella, had brain damage and
died when she was twenty-three. She never learned to
walk or talk. She was the same when she died as when
she was born, only bigger.
Why did you name her Mirella too? I said. Werent
you afraid to jinx her by calling her that?
I suppose, in a way, I was trying to replace my first
baby. I was very young and it was hard to lose her. I dont
think I jinxed this baby by giving her the same name, but
Ive always regretted not giving her a name all her own.
Of course, in her condition . . . it didnt really matter.
She took a small velvet bag from a box and opened it.
Inside was a gold bracelet with pink hearts all around it.
Mrs. Luna held it out to me. It looked like it was made for
a baby.
My mother gave this to my first daughter when she
was born, she said. Ive kept it all these years.
I was afraid to touch it, but I took a quick look and
gave it back. I could see it meant a lot to her.
Very pretty.
She sighed and put it back in the bag before opening
one of the photo albums. She pointed to a picture of a man
holding a little boy. I knew right away they had to be her
son and grandson.
When our Danny was born, my husband was the
proudest man in town. Danny was a good boy and a very
good father to his own child. This is him with his son
right before the accident.
I mustve zoned out after that because the next thing
I knew, the pictures were all back in their boxes and
albums.
88 Estela Bernal
Mrs. Luna was saying, . . . they have nothing to do
with your assignment. Id be happy to answer any ques-
tions that may provide more useful information.
Youve helped me a lot. Ive been writing things down
in this notebook I have at home.
Good. Ill have the copies of the photographs ready for
you in a few days.
On my way out, I noticed an old doll sitting in a rock-
ing chair in the corner of the living room. It had a cloth
body and a head made of porcelain or plastic or some-
thing.
Did that belong to your daughters? I asked.
No, dear, this was my doll. You dont see many of
these around anymore. My mother would only let me play
with it once in a while and neither of my daughters was
able to play with it. Thats why its still in such good con-
dition.
Could I have a picture of her too?
I dont see why not. Ill have to find my camera first,
though.
I added the notes about the Model T and Mrs. Lunas
old school to my notebook.
Before we went to bed that night, Grandma reminded
me of my appointment with her eye doctor the next morn-
ing.
I scheduled the earliest possible appointment so you
dont have to miss too many classes. Since we dont need
to be there until nine and it only takes ten minutes to get
there, you can sleep in until eight, she said.
How about eight-thirty? I said. I can be ready in ten
minutes, eat in five minutes and we can still be there five
minutes early.
Eight-fifteen. Final offer, she said. Because this is
the first time youll be seeing Dr. Nakano, therell be
forms to fill out. Besides, its not good to be rushing
around when you dont have to.
The next morning we drove to Dr. Nakanos office.
Grandma filled out their form while we waited for the
doctor. After a while, a tiny lady came out and called my
name. She offered me her hand.
Hello, Amanda. Im Dr. Nakano. How are you today?
I wanted to say Theres nothing wrong with me. I
dont know why Im here. But instead, I shook her hand
and said, Good.
Dr. Nakano led me into a back room. This isnt going
to hurt one bit. I promise.
She asked me to sit in front of a machine, to put my
chin in a chin cup and my forehead against a bar, and to
look straight ahead. Then she stood in front of me like she
was going to take a picture of my eyes.
Youre going to feel a puff of air. Ready?
Yeah. I blinked when I felt the air hit my eye.
She stuck a little flashlight in front of my face and
looked into each eye. She held up one finger and told me to
follow it with my eyes as she moved it from one side to the
other. She put another machine with funny looking glass-
es up to my eyes and told me to read the letters on the wall.
Which is clearer, one or two? she asked each time
she switched lenses.
The exam didnt hurt, and it didnt take long. When
she was done, she turned the lights back on.
How are things at school?
Okay.
How about at home?
Okay.
Is there anything bothering you that you want to talk
about?
90 Estela Bernal
She was beginning to sound like Mr. Q. No.
Do you ever visit your school counselor?
Sometimes.
Have you seen him or her recently?
Him. Ive seen him twice recently. I saw him right
after my dad . . .
Dr. Nakano looked at me, waiting for me to finish my
sentence. She smiled.
Its okay, Amanda. You dont have to tell me any-
thing if you dont want to. Im just an eye doctor. The only
reason I ask is because your eyes are very healthy and
your vision is perfect. When your grandmother made the
appointment, she mentioned youd been blinking your
eyes quite frequently. She wanted to make sure your eyes
werent causing you any problems. Did you even know
you were blinking more than usual?
No, not until kids started teasing me at school and
people started asking why I was doing it.
Thats why I asked about your school counselor. We
all blink our eyes. Its normal and healthy, until we start
doing it excessively. Sometimes, when things are bother-
ing us, we develop what we call tics. Our body starts
sending out little signals that were usually not even
aware of. When this happens, it can be helpful to talk to
someone about whatever is bothering us. Counselors are
trained to talk to us and help us resolve problems before
they start affecting our health.
Mr. Q. knows about my dad. He lost both of his par-
ents when he was about my age. I decided she didnt
need to know about Mom and the clueless clowns.
Im sorry to hear about your loss. Mr. Q. sounds like
a wise counselor and you seem like a very smart young
lady. Im sure your father was and would be very proud of
you, she said before leading me back to the lobby.
The good news is that Amandas eyes are very
healthy and she has perfect vision, she said to Grandma.
The other piece of good news is that you have a very
smart granddaughter whos going to be just fine.
She turned to me, put her hand on my shoulder and
winked at me.
I need to talk to your grandmother for a few minutes
and then youre free to go.
You dont need glasses because you have perfect
visionreally good news, Grandma said when she came
out of the doctors office. What do you say we celebrate
by going out to lunch before I drop you off at school?
I say its a deal!
An idea had been bouncing around in my head since
Id talked to Mrs. Luna. I decided to stop by Thrifty Mart
after school and see what I could find out. As I walked
there I wondered what I would remember about San
Fulano when I got to be as old as Mrs. Luna. Would it be
the boarded up store windows or the going-out-of-busi-
ness signs? I was starting to see why this project was so
important to Mrs. Franco. Many of the little shops in
town had been replaced by mega stores and outlets, and
now the mall off the interstate freeway would probably
replace the rest. It looked like only the most stubborn
businesses would survive downtown, or the ones selling
things people had to havelike food, gas and medicine.
Thrifty Mart had both a pharmacy and a grocery sec-
tion. They even let the local farmers sell their produce in
the parking lot every Wednesday during the summer. It
was such a busy place, it was probably safe from the New
Horizons for San Fulano monster.
92 Estela Bernal
I recognized Sandras mom behind the Customer Ser-
vice counter and started to walk away.
How may I help you? she asked before I could get
away.
She didnt seem to know who I was, so I walked back
to the counter.
I, uh, need to speak with the manager, please.
She looked at me like Id told her a joke and she was
trying to decide if it was even funny.
Is he expecting you?
No. I didnt know I needed to make an appointment.
Well, youre in luck. She called out to a tall, chubby
man who was putting up a sign at the end of the counter.
Alex, you got a visitor.
Alex looked at her and she pointed to me.
Hello, young lady, Alex said. How may I help you?
I walked toward him hoping Sandras mother couldnt
hear what I had to say.
Im working on a project for my school. Were putting
together a history of San Fulano and I just found out
there used to be a school here before your store was built.
It was the first school in town. I was wondering if maybe
you could put a plaque in front of the store like a histori-
cal marker.
I kind of remember that old place. It was falling
apart. A plaque, huh! You know, Ill have to check into
that because its not up to me to decide. I can bring it up
at our regional meeting next Tuesday. Heres my card.
Give me a call next week.
Thanks, I said. I took the card and put it in my pock-
et.
A plaque should count for a few extra points.
94
It had only been a week since Id written to Aunt Vic-
toria, but I knew the package sitting in front of my
bedroom door when I got home from school had to be from
her.
Lobo picked up his ball, came over and began nudging
me behind my knees.
In a minute, I told him. I could hardly wait to tear
the wrapping off and see what Aunt Victoria had sent me
in that big box.
But Ive been waiting all day already! Lobo seemed to
say as he looked at me and leaned his head to one side
and then the other.
All right, then, I said. But it has to be a quick game
because Ive got more important things to do today.
Although I threw the ball a few times and he retrieved
it and waited for more, I kept thinking about the package.
I finally ran back in, grabbed the package, took it in the
bedroom and shut the door behind me. It looked heavier
than it was. That made me even more curious. I had to
peel off layers of brown paper to get to what was wrapped
inside. I found a letter pinned to an old blanket. I set the
letter aside and unfolded the blanket. Inside was a pic-
ture frame. The picture in it made me freeze.
Chapter Fourteen
The Silva Branch of
the Family Tree
At first I thought it was a picture of me at about age
three, but I took a good look at the clothes and realized it
was Dad sitting on the blue blanket that Aunt Victoria
had wrapped his picture in. I couldnt believe how much
we looked alike. Our brown eyes especially, big and ques-
tioning, like someone had walked in and surprised us.
What had happened to both of us since we were babies?
Maybe Mom was right about me being a late bloomer.
Maybe there was still hope that Id grow up to look like
Dad again some day. I knew one thing for sureIll never
look like her.
I held the picture to my chest with one hand. With the
other, I smoothed out the blanket. The edges were worn
and a little faded. I ran my hand over it and felt the safe-
ty pin Aunt Victoria had used to pin her letter to the
blanket. I unfolded it and began to read.
Dear Mandy,
I was so happy to finally hear from you. I know we
didnt get to spend much time together the last time
I saw you. We were all so overcome with grief. I
started writing to you soon after the funeral and
when I didnt hear back, I began to call and leave
messages.
Now I know why you never answered my phone
calls or letters. When I saw your grandmothers
address on the envelope, I realized you must be stay-
ing with her. That doesnt explain everything, but
the important thing is that you took the time to write
and you appear to be doing well.
Thank you for the picture. At first, I thought my
eyes were playing tricks on me. It looked like a baby
version of your dad was sitting on the back of the
adult version. I bought an old-fashioned frame for it
and put it on my nightstand.
In my messages and letters, Ive invited you to
come for a visit. I would like nothing better than to
see you and tell you everything I remember about
your fathers side of the family. Your mother and I,
as you know, have never been close. Thats another
regret Ill have to live with because I know it hurt
your father. There was never any question about our
love for him, though, just as there was never a ques-
tion about his love for you. He was so proud of you
and, although Ive never said it before, we all are.
Please let me know when you can come to visit.
Tell your mother and grandmother that Ill pay for
the airfare. I look forward to seeing you and helping
you put together the missing pieces of your family
tree.
Love,
Aunt Victoria
Still holding Dads picture to my chest, I lay back and
covered myself with his baby blanket. Aunt Victoria wasnt
so bad after all. The thought of flying to Chicago to visit
her was exciting and scary at the same time. It would be
my first visit there and my first plane trip. I was trying to
imagine what the trip would be like when Grandma
knocked on my door.
Dinners almost ready. Will you set the table, please?
Ill be right there, Grandma.
I carefully set Dads picture on the dresser and his
blanket over my pillow before I walked out to the kitchen
to get the dishes, napkins and silverware.
Whats new with your aunt? Grandma asked as soon
as we sat down to eat.
96 Estela Bernal
She wants me to come visit her. She said shell pay
for everything.
Thats very generous of her. You must be excited
first Seattle and now Chicago.
Grandma, Im . . . not sure well ever get to Seattle.
Do you think Momll let me visit Aunt Victoria?
I dont see why not. Well call and leave a message at
home and one at work since I doubt that well be able to
reach her directly at either number.
How come Mom doesnt like Aunt Victoria?
Where did you get that idea?
From what Ive seen and heard, thats where. Kids
arent dumb, you know.
Grandma let out a big sigh. I really dont know why
Olga and Victoria never got along. I used to think it was
the age difference. But theres no reason why their rela-
tionship, or lack of one, should affect you.
Well, it is affecting me. Aunt Victoria has written
and left telephone messages for me, and Moms never told
me about them.
Mandy
Please dont make excuses for her, Grandma.
Grandmothers arent dumb either. I was just going to
say that Ill talk to Olga. I know how important your pro-
ject is to you and, of course, your aunt has every right to
see you.
Thanks, Grandma. I dont think youre dumb, by the
way. I think youre the smartest grandma in the world. I
went around the table, stood behind her chair and hugged
her neck. She reached up and patted my arm.
Flattery will only get you so far. Now its time for you
to eat your dinner, then do your homework while I do the
dishes.
Before starting my homework, I let Lobo out again
and played with him until Grandma called us back in.
That night I wore Dads shirt to bed, covered myself
with his baby blanket and dreamed about Chicago.
The next day I was dying to ask Paloma if shed ever
been to Chicago and to tell her I might be going there to
visit my aunt. I didnt say a word though. What if Mom
doesnt let me go?
Did Mom call? I asked as soon as I walked in the
door after school.
Not yet, honey. Lets give her a few days.
Cant we drive over to her house or to the hospital if
she doesnt call by tomorrow?
Remember, Im on your side. I cant imagine Olga
refusing to let you go, but if necessary, Ill talk to her and
do whatever it takes to convince her that you need to see
your aunt. Besides, you cant just pick up and leave. You
have to wait until you have a break from school and give
Victoria time to make your travel arrangements.
Exactly, Grandma! Its called planning. How can I
plan anything if Mom cant even answer a phone call?
Stop worrying about it. Im sure shell call, and when
she does, youll be the first to know.
The phone rang as soon as the words were out of
Grandmas mouth. I ran to answer it.
Mandy?
I recognized the voice right away. Aunt Victoria.
How are you? Did you get my package?
Im fine and, yes, I got your package. Thanks for
sending it.
I called information to get your grandmothers num-
ber. How is she?
Shes okay.
And your mom?
Ah . . . shes okay too.
98 Estela Bernal
Great! So, when can you come to visit?
I turned around to look at Grandma who was still
standing there, watching me and listening to every word
I said.
My next school break isnt until Thanksgiving.
Perfect, Ill go ahead and make your reservation.
Well, I was waiting for Mom to call back because she
wants to take me and Grandma to Seattle and I dont
know if shes already made those reservations.
There was a long pause. Youre waiting for your mom
to call you?
Yeah, shes . . . well, its a long story, but I can call
you as soon as I know.
Sure. You have my number?
Yeah, you sent it to me.
I can hardly wait, Mandy. Please give my love to your
grandmother.
That night I wrote:
Dear Dad,
Guess what! Did you know we couldve been twins
when we were babies? Id never noticed it until I saw
the pictures Aunt Victoria sent me. I was starting to
think that maybe you and Mom had adopted me
since I didnt look like either of you. If anybody had
asked me which one of you I wanted to look like, you
know who I wouldve picked.
Grandma took me to see her eye doctor. She said
my eyes are perfect except for the tics. At first I
thought she was talking about little black bugs like
the one you pulled off me after one of our hikes. I
couldnt understand how I could get another tick
because I havent been hiking since you . . . since
youve been gone. I thought maybe I got it from Lobo,
but, when I told Grandma about it, she said it was a
t-i-c, not t-i-c-k. This kind of tic is not as easy to get
rid of. I think I got it from Mom. Shell be glad to hear
I dont need glasses though. I wish you were here to
help me convince her to let me visit Aunt Victoria.
Love,
Mandy
I lay awake for a long time that night thinking about
Chicago. If Uncle Nic had invited me to visit him in Cali-
fornia, would Mom be more willing to let me go?
On Saturday, Grandma took me to Short Cuts to get
my hair trimmed. After my appointment, we went to a
new deli that Grandma had read about. She had a bowl
of soup and a cup of tea. I had a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich and a root beer.
Your hair looks very nice, Grandma said. And you
dont seem to be blinking so much anymore.
Im glad you like my hair, and Im glad the tics are
gone. Were having our picture taken at school next week.
This was perfect timing, then. You can send a picture
to your Aunt Victoria and one to your Uncle Nic.
And one to Mom.
Oh, Mandy. Shes probably out of town again. You
know what a crazy schedule shes been keeping lately.
I also knew Mom had her cell phone with her and
could call back if she really wanted to, but I didnt say
anything. I couldnt keep dumping on Grandma for it. It
wasnt her fault.
The next day me and Rogelio walked to Grandmas
after school. I noticed he didnt have to stop to use his
inhaler and it only took us a couple of minutes longer than
100 Estela Bernal
when I walked by myself. After we picked up Lobo, we
walked across the street to the lot where his house used to
be. While Lobo ran here and there checking everything out,
Rogelio walked around picking up pieces of lumber and
bricks and piling them up in one corner of the front yard.
What are you doing? I asked.
Mom and Dad talked to a building contractor. He
said we could save some money if we cleaned up the mess
and had it hauled away. Dad wants to start cleaning up
this weekend.
Thats great. Ill bet youll be happy to move out of
your relatives apartment.
Yeah. Its pretty crowded.
He picked up a few more bricks and added them to the
pile.
Um . . . my mom asked me about your mom and I told
her I never see her.
I walked to the fence, grabbed it with both hands and
looked out through the cracks like a prisoner. I didnt
know what to say.
After a few minutes, Rogelio walked toward me. Are
you okay, Mandy?
Mom thinks its my fault Dad died.
What? I thought he died in a car wreck.
He did.
Then I dont get it.
Dad was on his way to pick up my birthday present
when a drunk driver crashed into him.
Oh. Im sorry, Mandy.
Yeah, so am I.
I felt Rogelios hand patting my shoulder and had to
bite my lip to keep from crying.
102
Why dont you lead the session today? Paloma asked
Rogelio.
You mean I get to tell you both what poses to do? he
said.
You dont just tell us, you get to show us and talk us
through it. Pretend that we dont know anything about
yoga. Youre the teacher, so teach.
Shouldnt I, like, practice before I teach?
What have you been doing all this time if not prac-
ticing?
No. I mean practice teaching.
This is practice.
What about Mandy? She started first. Shouldnt she
go first?
Oh, dont be such a gentleman! I said.
This is not a test, you know, Paloma said. Youve
learned a lot about yoga already. Now, you need to learn
how to pass it on. Its just the three of us, so itll be fun.
Well, then, EVERYBODY HIT THE FLOOR!
I nearly dropped to the floor, until I saw Rogelio smil-
ing.
Chapter Fifteen
Trekkers Peak
Just kidding, he said. Okay, lets start by taking a
deep breath. Ready? Inhale. Inhale as much oxygen as
you can. Hold it. Now, slowly let those nasty toxins out.
I giggled and looked over at Paloma, but her eyes were
closed and she was doing exactly as she was told.
One more time. Inhale Rogelio was taking his new
role very seriously. Once he got going, he really got into
it. After he led us through the whole session, I knew I had
to start practicing at home because next time, it would be
my turn. I decided to practice on Grandma. I knew shed
do it if I told her I had to pass a test.
When we finished our session, Mr. Beltrn had fresh
orange juice waiting for us.
Paloma handed us each a glass of juice. I think we
should toast our new teacher.
You have a new teacher? her father asked.
Yes, were going to take turns leading our sessions.
This was Rogers first time and he did a great job.
Youve come a long way, son. Congratulations.
Thanks. I think Im ready to go hiking, too. How far
do you usually hike?
As far as you want, I said.
Cool. Im already walking about five miles.
Youll need hiking boots, though, I said.
Whats wrong with my tennis shoes?
If you twist your ankle we cant carry you back. Well
have to leave you there and go for help. But dont worry.
Well leave you a stick to fight off the bears.
Rogelios eyes looked like they were about to pop out
of his head. Me and Paloma started giggling.
Thats not funny, girls, Mr. Beltrn said. But
Mandy does have a point, son. You can easily turn your
ankle when youre climbing over rocks and jumping over
streams.
How much do boots cost? Rogelio asked.
That depends on the boots and the store, Mr. Bel-
trn said.
Oh. Rogelio looked down at his feet.
Daddy, Paloma said, didnt you say you could use
some help fixing the fence in our backyard? Its practical-
ly falling down in some places.
Oh, its not just the fence, sweetheart. Now that the
interior is done, we really need to start fixing this whole
place up on the outside. Mr. Beltrn turned to Rogelio.
Palomas right, son. I could use your help. Ill pay you, of
course. It may take a couple of weekends to repair the
fence, but your pay should cover most of the cost of a new
pair of hiking boots. If it doesnt, I can lend you the rest
and you can pay me back by helping me fix a few other
things. Once we start, Im sure well find lots of other pro-
jects you and I can tackle.
Okay. Ill ask my Dad since I have to help him clean
up our old yard too.
On the way home I couldnt stop thinking about my
hiking boots. After a hike, me and Dad always took them
off before we went in the house because Mom didnt want
us tracking dirt inside. He would slap them together to
knock off the dust or mud, and put them on the shelf in
the garage where he kept the boots he wore when he
worked in the yard. He knew exactly where to find his
gloves and tools and everything he needed.
Whenever hed come to my bedroom, hed say,
Mandy, how can you find anything in this mess?
It was true that I wasted a lot of time when I needed
to find something, and made a bigger mess while I was
looking for it.
That night I dreamed me and Dad were hiking the
Trekkers Peak Trail, one of our favorite hikes. He always
104 Estela Bernal
liked to get an early start when we hiked. Sometimes I
fell asleep on the drive to the trailhead and hed wake me
up when we got there.
In my dream, we had just started the hike when he
stopped and pointed out a butterfly fluttering from flower
to flower. A little later, he held out his hand, signaling me
to stop and we watched a doe and her fawn drinking from
a stream.
We ate our lunch at the top of the highest peak. After-
wards, Dad pulled his binoculars out of his pack and we
took turns looking down at the people making their way
up the trail. As they got closer, Dad said, We should
head back before they get here.
Id taken my boots off and, when I reached for them,
one of them started rolling down the side of the peak. I
tried to stop it, but it bounced off a rock and went flying
into space. I sat and watched it flip over and over as it
fell. It kept flipping and falling, but it never hit the
ground. I woke up grabbing at the air.
Rogelio mustve been dreaming about hiking, too.
At lunch the next day he asked, What kind of hiking
boots do I need?
You have to try on different kinds and see what
works best, I said. The kind me and Paloma have may
not be the right kind for you.
Hey, why dont we tag along when youre ready to go
shopping for them? Paloma said. Well help you decide
which ones to buy. Daddy can take us to the Sports Mart
near his office. You still need to earn the money to buy
them anyway, so you have time to think about it.
All that day I thought about Dad, and my boots.
The minute I got home, I said, Grandma, Palomas
dad wants to take us hiking. Can we drive over to Moms
house to pick up my boots?
When are you going on this hike?
Not for a while. Rogelio still needs to help Mr. Bel-
trn fix some stuff around his house to earn money for a
pair of boots.
Why dont you call your mom and ask her to bring
them with her the next time she comes by.
Grandma, Im going to need my boots in this lifetime.
If she cant call me back about visiting Aunt Victoria,
what makes you think shes going to bring me my boots?
We should at least call her and let her know were
coming.
Why? I still have my own key. She doesnt even need
to know we were thereunless she changed the locks.
I still dont see that theres a big hurry to get your
boots if you dont even know when youre going to hike.
I want them, Grandma.
Grandma looked at me like Id eaten the last piece of
cake and not offered her any.
We cant hold our breath waiting for Mom to return
our calls.
She looked at me like Id asked for a whole other cake
and was planning to eat that, too.
Ill drive you over Saturday morning, she said.
Thanks. Oh, I almost forgot. I also need to teach you
some yoga because were taking turns leading our ses-
sions.
From what Ive seen, it seems to me that all you need
is a little practice and youll be an excellent yoga teacher.
Im willing to do my part as your student.
Good. Well start before we go to bed since youre not
supposed to eat right before you do yoga.
106 Estela Bernal
We can eat early. Later, you can give me an idea of
what Im committing to. At my age, I cant start stretch-
ing these old muscles like you can. Ill go start dinner. In
the meantime you can look through these. Mrs. Luna
dropped them off for you. She said you need them for your
school project.
I pulled the pictures out of the bag she handed me and
noticed that Mrs. Luna had ordered large prints. Shed
also labeled and dated each one. Perfect! All I needed now
was to put my notes in order, write my report and mount
the pictures on poster board. I knew this was going to be
the best report in the whole class.
Before we went to bed, I spread out a towel on the
floor since I didnt have a mat. Lobo sat and watched
every move I made. I watched him back, wondering if he
was going to join in the way Clip sometimes did, but after
a while he got bored. He went to a corner, turned around
three times, flopped down and fell asleep. I started out
with some stretching and breathing exercises before
going through sun salutation and all my favorite poses.
That looks easy enough, Grandma said. I should be
able to handle at least half of those poses, and itll help to
have my own personal trainer to make sure Im doing
them right.
If Rogelio can do that whole routine, I know you can.
Well see.
Saturday morning Grandma said, After youre done
with the breakfast dishes, lets go get those boots you
absolutely must have.
I hurried through the rest of the dishes and ran to my
bedroom to get my key. Since Id moved in with Grandma,
I kept it in Moms old jewelry box. When he first gave me
the key, Dad had taken the dog tags from his old Army
chain and replaced them with a key to our house.
Id pointed to the tags. Can I also have one of those?
Only if you promise not to lose it, hed said. It has
my personal information on it. Ill keep one and you keep
the other, like two halves of one heart. Well put the key
on the big chain so you can wear it around your neck and
the tag will go on this small one. Keep them both in a safe
place.
I pulled out the smaller chain and ran my finger over
the tag, I wondered where the other half of our heart was
now.
Are you ready? Grandma called from the living
room.
I threw the tag back in the jewelry box, grabbed the
key chain and put it around my neck as I ran out of the
bedroom.
Can Lobo come with us?
Lobos ears stood straight up when he heard his name.
Sure. He hasnt had a car ride in a while.
Grandma pulled into Moms driveway and shut off the
engine.
Well wait here for you since youre just running in to
grab the boots.
Okay. Ill be right back.
I ran to the front door and leaned over to unlock it
without having to take the chain from around my neck.
As soon as I stepped inside, I noticed that Dads
recliner was gone. Then I saw that so was everything
else. The room was almost empty, except for some pillows
and a couple of little tables and lanterns like the ones Id
seen at a Japanese restaurant Dad had once taken us to
in Portland.
108 Estela Bernal
I went to the garage and the boots werent there. The
walls were bare. Dads wall locker, where he kept most of
his tools, was locked.
I ran back in the house and straight to my old bed-
room. The furniture was still there, but the curtains and
bedspread were new. The closet was empty. The pictures
were gone. The walls had been painted white. It wasnt
my room any moreit wasnt my house. I felt like Id
been blown off a mountain, and like the boot in my
dream, I was flipping and falling, never reaching the
ground.
Before I knew what was happening, I heard myself
scream.
Then I heard Grandma calling my name. I heard her
footsteps getting closer. When she walked in the room
and saw me, she came to kneel by me.
Mandy, are you okay?
I jumped up, ran to the car and crawled into the back
seat. Lobo jumped on top of me. He whined and tried to
lick my face, but I threw my arm over it to hold him back.
Grandma opened the car door and reached down to
touch my head.
Mandy. Oh, Mandy. I wouldnt have brought you
here if Id known.
Shes probably sold the house. I said, between sobs.
Ill call her at work and see whats going on.
On the way back to Grandmas, I rode in the back with
Lobo. As soon as he was out of the car, he raced across the
street to his old burned-down house. While Grandma
went after him, I ran to my bedroom and crawled under
the covers.
Later, I could hear Grandma on the phone. I couldnt
make out the words, but from the tone of her voice, I
could tell she was mad. After she got off the phone, she
knocked on my door before letting herself in. She sat
down next to me.
I left a message for Olga at the hospital, one at home
and one on her cell phone.
She stroked my back. Mandy, I dont understand this
any more than you do. Olga has always been high strung,
but shes never acted this strangely before. Take a nap.
Ill call you when dinners ready.
I didnt say anything. I couldnt feel much of anything
and told myself I didnt care.
When Grandma called me for dinner and I didnt
answer, she came in and sat beside me.
You need to eat, Mandy. Im sure thisll all work out.
Im not hungry. I dont care if I ever eat again.
Dont say that. When Olga calls well tell her youre
going to visit your aunt. You can spend the Thanksgiving
holiday in Chicago. How does that sound?
I lifted myself up on my elbows so I could turn to face
her. If she doesnt want me around, why should she care
if I go to visit Aunt Victoria?
Mandy, theres a lot I dont know, but one thing I do
know is that your mother loves you very much.
Sure, Grandma, thats why Im living here with you
and why she goes weeks without calling or stopping by to
see if were even alive. It was hard to say this, but it was
the truth. If you hadnt taken me in, she probably
wouldve sent me to live with Aunt Victoria. Now . . . I
dont even have a home to go back to.
Grandma touched my cheek. As long as Im around,
youll always have a home with me. Now, try to get some
rest. Ill keep your dinner warm in case you change your
mind later.
I couldnt even write to Dad that day. How could I fin-
ish my tribute to him when Mom was acting like neither
of us ever existed? She was trying to erase us out of her
110 Estela Bernal
life. She was the opposite of Mrs. Luna, who was trying to
hold on to every memory even though all of her people
were gone.
I got up and pulled Dads tag out of the jewelry box. I
removed the key from the bigger chain, threw it across
the room, and replaced it with the tag. Thats one thing
Mom cant take away from me. Ill wear it, my half of his
heart, from now on.
I mustve fallen asleep because I thought I was dream-
ing when I heard voices in the living room. Thinking
Grandma was checking on me again, I turned toward the
wall and ignored the knock on my door.
Then I heard Mom voice, Mandy, are you awake?
I turned to face her. She was standing next to the bed
holding a shopping bag.
I brought you something, she said.
I just stared at her.
Dont you want to see what it is?
I didnt answer.
Lets see if they still fit. She pulled my hiking boots
out of the bag and waited for me to sit. Where do you
keep your socks? You cant wear hiking boots without
socks.
Theyre in the second drawer, I whispered.
She walked to the dresser and was about to open the
drawer when she saw Dads picture. I couldnt see her
face, but I heard the tears in her voice.
Lets see, we need the thickest pair of socks you have.
She poked around in the drawer and took out one pair.
These look like good hiking socks.
She came back to kneel by the bed and put the socks
on my feet. Then, she put the boots on, too. She didnt
look at me the whole time she was kneeling in front of me
taking quick short breaths, like she was hyperventilat-
ing.
There. Stand up and see how they feel, she said.
I stood and could tell right away that my feet had
grown. My toes were touching the front of the boot.
Dad had always told me, You need some wiggle room,
especially with hiking boots. Youll thank me when youre
hiking downhill and dont have your toes jammed against
the front of the boots. Hed laughed and added, We dont
want you to end up with hammer toes.
Theyre too tight, I said.
Mom had walked to the window and was looking out.
Well get you a new pair, she said, without turning
around. When she did turn to look at me, her eyes were
red and she was having a hard time holding back tears.
Did you sell the house? I asked.
Sell the house? No, of course not. I did a little remod-
eling and put some things in storage. Thats all. She
pressed her lips together and tried to smile at the same
time. It made her look like she had a toothache.
Whats this I hear about you wanting to run off to
Chicago? What about our trip to Seattle?
You never told us when you were planning to go,
Mom.
How about during your Thanksgiving break? Ill take
some time off so you and Grandma and I can go on a little
vacation. I really enjoyed our lunch at The Garden and a
trip to Seattle will give us a chance to spend more time
together. Well do some sightseeing and shop for new clothes
for you. I just know you and Mom are going to love it.
What about Aunt Victoria? When can I go visit her?
Well see. Now lets go eat. Grandmas keeping our
dinner warm.
I want to go visit Aunt Victoria.
Why dont we talk about it after our trip to Seattle?
112 Estela Bernal
You always put things off when you dont want to
talk about them.
We will. I promise.
We were halfway through dinner before Mom finally
noticed Id had my hair trimmed.
I like it that length.
I saw the eye doctor too.
Oh, good.
She said my eyes are perfect. I just have tics, t-i-c-s.
Oh.
I dont need glasses, though.
Thats good. Now, about our trip. Im making our
reservations tonight. Ill call tomorrow and give you the
details.
After school the next day, Grandma handed me the
notepad where shed written the flight information. Well
be spending Thanksgiving Day in Seattleif Mom
remembers to come pick us up.
114
Rogelio hadnt been walking for very long, but he was
definitely shrinking. He mustve lost another ten pounds
because he didnt look like a king-size pillow stuffed in a
queen-size pillowcase any more. Now he looked like all
the other kids with their baggy, saggy clothes. Well,
maybe not just like them. He was still fat, but not as
much as before. Although he was now going to his regu-
lar P.E. class, he was still walking after school. I think
one reason was that he got to walk and play with Lobo,
but I was sure the main reason was that he wanted to be
ready for the hiking trip with the Beltrns.
The next time me and Lobo showed up to walk with
him, he was waiting with a short fat lady. She looked just
like him, but bigger and rounder. I hadnt thought about
it until then, but Susie looked like her dad. I wondered
who his little brother Freddy looked like.
Rogelio tried to introduce me to his mom while Lobo
jumped all over both of them.
Hello Mandy, Mrs. Arredondo said. Thanks for
bringing Lobo along. She turned to Lobo. Hello, big guy!
It looks like Mandy and her grandma are taking very
good care of you.
Chapter Sixteen
Pied Pipers
Lobo ran back and forth between them, like he want-
ed everyone to join in his jumping game. Then he planted
his front paws on Rogelios shoulders and started licking
his face.
While Lobo and Rogelio were hugging and kissing as
usual, Mrs. Arredondo said, Now that Rogelio gets to see
Lobo, he can hardly wait to get here. I know I cant keep
up with you two, so go ahead. Ill follow at my own pace.
Its a good thing she told us to go ahead of her because
she was as slow as Rogelio used to be. During our walk,
Lobo ran back to check on her every once in a while.
Looking good, Ma! Rogelio said each time we passed
her.
She was all out of breath and looked like she was
going to pass out any minute. All she could do was grunt
in response. After our fourth lap, her second, we saw her
standing by the gate.
You okay, Ma? Rogelio asked when we got to where
she was standing.
Im fine. I havent walked this far in years. You two
go on. Ill wait here for you.
Grandma, you should come walk with us, I said when
me and Lobo got home. You can walk with Rogelios mom.
Grandma put down her knitting. Adelas walking
with you? Well then, I have no excuse, do I?
You might want to bring some water for both of you.
She didnt look too good today.
As I walked into the kitchen to hang up Lobos leash,
I remembered that it would soon be my turn to lead the
yoga session.
Can we do a practice session tonight? I asked. Itll
help you get ready for your walk with Mrs. Arredondo.
Well just do a half hour.
Will it help me sleep better?
Sure, just dont fall asleep during the session.
Ill try not to. We should eat now, then. Were having
leftovers, so it wont take long to reheat them.
While she fixed our leftover dinner, I called Alex at
Thrifty Mart. Hi. I talked to you last week about a
plaque for the old school that was torn down when Thrifty
Mart was built.
Oh, yes, Amanda wasnt it? Ive got good news. The
regional manager liked the idea. He thinks we could erect
the plaque right by the main entrance.
How long do you think itll take to put it up?
Your guess is as good as mine. Ill call the city and get
all the details: the name of the school, the date it was
built and so on. If you give me a number where I can
reach you, Ill let you know.
I gave him Grandmas number, but I decided not to
say anything about it to her or Mrs. Luna. I wanted to
surprise them.
At eight oclock Grandma said, Im ready for my first
lesson. Go ahead and start. Ill join in when you get to the
parts I think I can handle.
I knew for sure that Grandma had been practicing on
her own because she managed to do most of the routine.
I think my favorite part is the breathing, and my
favorite pose is childs pose. It makes my old back feel so
good, she said.
I laughed. Normally, thats the pose you usually do
right before you stand on your head.
Ah. Lets skip that part for now.
Grandma knocked on my door the next morning.
Wake up. I see you slept as well as I did. Its a good thing
116 Estela Bernal
I set the alarm for 6:30. Otherwise, Id still be sleeping,
too. Tell Paloma youve made a true believer out of me.
Walking a few miles this afternoon should help you
sleep even better tonight. I knew Paloma would be
happy to hear that Id taught my first yoga session and
Grandma had given it a high mark.
As soon as we walked in the cafeteria, Rogelio said to
Paloma, Guess what? My mom started walking with us.
Right, Mandy?
Thats right, and Grandmas going to walk with us
this afternoon.
Thats great, Paloma said. Now you can teach them
yoga.
Grandma already started last night, I said.
Mom has to wait until our house is ready. Its kind of
crowded in my aunts apartment, Rogelio said.
Walkings a good start, Paloma said.
Yeah, she decided to try it when I told her I dont
need my inhaler anymore.
Congratulations! Paloma said, as if Rogelio had just
won a marathon. In a way, I guess he had.
That afternoon, Grandma and Mrs. Arredondo walked
together.
Pretty soon you pied pipers are going to have the
whole town following you around the track, Coach Ren-
froe said when he saw us. He said it like he thought it
was a good idea.
On our way home, Grandma said, Your mom called to
remind us of our trip. You need to call your aunt and let her
know you wont be coming to visit her until Christmas.
Since there was no hurry now that she didnt need to
make reservations for me, I decided to write to Aunt Vic-
toria instead. I knew shed have lots of questions and, if
she wrote me back instead of calling, Id have more time
to think about the answers.
I finished the letter and tried to practice my report,
but I kept thinking about Seattle. I was finally going to
see Mom for more than an hour or two. Part of me was
really happy about that. Part of me was also a little
scared by what I might find. Would Mom be as hollow as
her house?
Since me and Paloma decided we needed to practice
reading our reports, she walked with me to Grandmas
house the next day. I wanted to tell her about going to
Seattle, but instead, I decided to surprise her with a post-
card once we were already there.
As soon as we walked in, Lobo started sniffing her
from head to toe.
He smells Clip on my clothes. When I get home,
Clips going to give me the biggest sniffaroo ever.
After we played with him for a while, Lobo calmed
down, and me and Paloma read our reports to each other.
You should get extra credit for these, she said when
she saw Mrs. Lunas pictures. I wish the people I talked
to had been as interesting as Mrs. Luna.
Yeah. Im glad Grandma suggested I interview her.
By the way, were having my favorite dinner tonight. Can
you stay and eat with us?
Sure, but I need to call my dad and let him know.
This may not be as healthy as youre used to eating,
Grandma explained as she served the tamal pie, salad
and banana shakes Id asked her to make.
But its good, Grandma, I said.
And its beautiful, Paloma said. Sometimes I feel as
if Im eating half the meal just by looking at it.
Wait til you taste the coco rice pudding, I said.
After dinner, me and Grandma drove Paloma home.
118 Estela Bernal
I can see why you and Paloma have become such good
friends, Grandma said on the way back. I wish Id had
friends like you two when I was your age.
Yeah. Sometimes I feel like shes a lot older than me,
though.
My mother used to call people like Paloma old souls.
I think she meant they were wise beyond their years.
Really? Thats what Mrs. Luna said about me.
Well, that explains it, then. Youre two peas in a pod.
On our walk the following afternoon, Rogelio said,
Mr. Beltrn told me Ive earned enough for a pair of
boots.
Great! I need a new pair, too, I said. Ive outgrown
my old ones.
That weekend, we all piled into Mr. Beltrns station
wagon and he drove us to Sports Mart where there were
rows and rows of shoes and all kinds of sports equipment.
Rogelio walked up to the first sales person he saw.
Were looking for hiking boots, he told her.
Youve come to the right place at just the right time,
she said. Our annual sale started today. Follow me.
She led us to the shoe section where I found several
boots I liked and Rogelio chose the ones he liked. The
sales lady asked what size we needed. Neither of us knew
our size, so she pulled out a metal gadget and measured
our feet.
While we were trying on one pair after another, we
heard a woman behind us yelling.
For the last time, NO, you cant have a new pair of
shoes. Youll get Brians old ones, the way you always do.
Me and Paloma and Rogelio turned toward the voice
and there was Haley looking like shed just been slapped.
She was hunched over, chewing on her thumbnail. I fig-
ured the woman who yelled at her was her mom, and the
boy with them must be Brian.
I looked at Rogelio and Paloma. They looked at me.
But nobody said a word.
Rogelio picked out a pair of tan and green boots.
I wish I could wear them home, he said.
Theyre your boots, Roger, Paloma said. You can
wear them whenever you like.
Poor Haley, Paloma said when we walked out of the
store.
She could say that. She hadnt been glued to her seat
the way I had.
Just because her mom is mean to her doesnt make it
okay for her to be mean to everybody else, I said.
Rogelio didnt say anything. He just swung his bag
back and forth as we made our way to the car.
I guess we should start planning our hiking trip, Mr.
Beltrn said on the way home. Any ideas on where we
should go, or should we just consult our trail books and
see what appeals to everyone?
I dont think Im ready to climb any mountains, yet,
Rogelio said.
Youll never know until you try, I said.
I guess we need to look through the books for ideas,
Paloma said.
Thanks for the ride, Rogelio said when we dropped
him off. My moms gonna love my boots. He waved good-
bye and ran in to show off his new boots.
Lobo was waiting for me when I got home. He picked
up his ball and dropped it on the floor. I tried to grab it,
but he was too fast for me. I took another ball from the
counter.
Okay, buddy, lets go.
We ran outside, and after a few minutes of chasing
and retrieving, I needed a break. I sat on the grass and
120 Estela Bernal
Lobo came up and tried to lick my face, but I threw my
arms around him and buried my face in his furry neck.
Listen, Mr. Mutt, I said. Ive been wishing you
could bite the mean kids at my school. Its been fun think-
ing about it, but Im glad you dont think the same way.
The last thing Haley needs is a dog bite. She seems to get
enough biting from her mother.
Lobo gave my ear a quick lick and I just knew he
understood.
The next day was Halloween. Grandma had offered to
make me a costume just like she had every year since I
could remember.
I dont need a costume, Grandma. Im borrowing one
of Palomas outfits and going as a fairy princess.
What will she wear?
A ballerina costume.
And Rogelio?
Hes going to skip Halloween. He doesnt want any-
thing to do with costumes.
Why?
He said they only give the other kids another reason
to laugh at him.
122
I mustve fallen asleep while reading my report in bed
because the papers were scattered all over the floor when
the alarm went off. I sure hope I dont put the whole class
to sleep when I read it to them. Id set the alarm to wake
me up a half hour earlier than usual, and was standing in
front of the mirror practicing it one last time.
Breakfast, Grandma said.
Ten minutes, Grandma! I said.
Ten minutes?
Mrs. Franco said our report had to be five to ten min-
utes long. Mine is exactly ten.
Maybe you can give Mrs. Luna and me a sample of it
sometime.
Sure.
Grandma offered to drive me to school since I had so
much stuff to carry.
The Beltrns car pulled up as Grandma drove off.
Paloma was carrying twice as much stuff as usual. She
was wearing an ordinary plaid jumper, blue tights and
Mary Jane shoes.
Mr. Beltrn waved to me and I gave him a huge smile.
How come youre dressed like that? I asked Paloma.
Chapter Seventeen
San Fulano Day
I thought for once the kids would pay attention to
what I have to say instead of making fun of my clothes.
Theyre just jealous.
Theyre going to be even more jealous when they hear
our reports.
We giggled as we hurried toward the entrance.
Mr. Q. was standing in front of the school and held the
door open for us.
Mrs. Franco had hung a banner with big green letters
across the front of the roomSan Fulano Day. Shed also
moved her desk to the side and set up a small table in its
place.
Wow! Paloma said. This project must mean a lot to
you.
Im hoping that by the end of the day, itll mean a lot
to every one of you, too, Mrs Franco said.
The kids started trickling in, with a few stragglers
running in at the last minute.
After everybody had sort of settled down, Mrs. Franco
stood in front of the little table.
The day weve all been waiting for is finally here. Im
eager to hear what all of you have learned about our
town. When you come up to give your report, youll stand
here. Please adjust the microphone as necessary and
speak right into it. I expect you to listen to each speaker
carefully. Youll have a chance to ask questions after each
report. Well start out with volunteers. If I dont get any
volunteers, Ill call names off my list alphabetically. Now,
who would like to go first?
Paloma raised her hand. I dont know why she both-
ers. Shes almost at the top of the list anyway.
Mrs. Franco called on her, and Paloma walked to the
front of the room carrying all the posters and charts and
even an old newspaper shed brought with her.
Since we all knew our turn was coming, everyone was
quiet while she taped her posters and charts to the black-
board. She used a little pointing stick when she explained
each one. She talked for more than ten minutes, but
nobody complained. Nobody had any questions for her
either.
Thank you, Paloma, Mrs. Franco said. That was an
excellent report from a very unique perspective.
Unique? Excellent? What else did she expect from
Paloma?
There were no other volunteers, so Mrs. Franco start-
ed calling names off her list. Most of the kids, including
Rogelio, stood there and read their reports as fast as they
could. Some were a lot shorter than five minutes. It
sounded like theyd all talked to their relatives and were
just repeating whatever theyd been told. After a while,
the reports started sounding like the same story with dif-
ferent characters.
Then it was my turn. I took my report and the pic-
tures Mrs. Luna had given me and walked to the front. I
took a deep breath and looked at Mrs. Franco or Paloma
or Rogelio while I talked. They all smiled at me and it was
like they were the only ones in the room. I saved the part
about the plaque until the very end.
The kids whod already read their reports were now
full of questions and comments.
Cool car! Felipe said.
How come you didnt bring the doll? Minerva asked.
My grandma wears black all the time, too, Thelma
said.
Thank you, Amanda, Mrs. Franco said. Those are
wonderful photographs. If you dont mind, Id like to have
copies made so I can hang them on the wall to remind us
of what our town used to look like. Of course, the histori-
cal plaque idea was the icing on the cake. Very well done!
124 Estela Bernal
Ill call the store and see if they can publish a story about
it in the local paper when the plaque is installed. If you
dont mind, Ill give them a copy of the school picture as
well.
Great! Mrs. Luna will be very happy to see the story
and picture of her old school in the paper.
After everyone had given their report, Mrs. Franco
asked if anyone had started a journal. Paloma was the
only one who raised her handlike she needed the extra
credit.
After class, she said, Mandy, your report was the
best. How come you didnt tell me about the plaque?
Thanks. I think both our reports were the best. I
wanted the plaque to be a surprise. I didnt even tell
Grandma about it. She found out when the store manag-
er called to say itll be up by the end of the year. After I
see it for myself, Ill ask Grandma to take Mrs. Luna to
check it out. Thatll be my Christmas present to her.
126
Now that our projects were out of the way, we could
concentrate on planning our hiking trip. After our next
yoga session, we went to the sitting area in the main
room where we found a stack of books that Mr. Beltrn
suggested we go through. He had marked all the trails he
thought we might like. We each took a book and started
reading about the different hikes.
Roosters Crest, Rogelio read from his book.
Thats an interesting one, Mrs. Beltrn said as she
walked in carrying a tray piled high with sandwiches.
There used to be an old chicken ranch at the trailhead.
It may not be the best pick for your very first hike,
though. As the name implies, it involves some uphill
walking although its all fairly gradual.
Mr. Beltrn was behind his wife with a pitcher of
orange juice and a stack of short, fat glasses.
I thought we could keep it in mind for a future out-
ing, he said.
This one sounds interesting. I read from a book with
the picture of a railroad on the cover. China Camp Trail:
Though not the most scenic of trails, as you hike along
this dusty path, you can almost see the ghosts of the
laborers who worked from dawn to dusk laying miles of
Chapter Eighteen
Happy Trails
railroad track. Along the way, youll pass the old ceme-
tery where tombstones engraved with Chinese characters
still mark the graves of many of those who didnt survive
the demands of such work.
That sounds like a good Halloween hike, Rogelio
said.
Oh, I didnt mean to include that book, Mr. Beltrn
said. Thats a trail I hiked a few times when we lived in
California. Youve got the right idea though, son. Youd
want to hike it on a cool fall day. Ive hiked it in the sum-
mer and promised myself never to do that again.
After we ate our sandwiches, we kept reading blurbs
about the trails we found interesting.
Listen to this one, Rogelio said. A year-round
favorite, this easy trail appeals to hikers of all ages and
abilities. Wide and shady, from start to end, it offers plen-
ty of opportunities to stop and watch squirrels, deer and
the many other forms of wildlife that call this area home.
A bird watchers paradise
Bird watching? I said. Just look in the Beltrns
garden if you want to watch birds.
These are different kinds of birds.
How do you expect to break in your new hiking boots
if youre just going to sit around watching birds?
That sounds like a short and easy hike, Mrs. Beltrn
said. We should decide how far we want to hike and how
much elevation we think we can handle?
Since were stopping for lunch before heading back,
Paloma said, we could probably manage a six-mile hike.
We all turned to look at Rogelio.
He shrugged his shoulders. That sounds good to me.
Good, then, Paloma said. How does this one sound
to everyone? Three Sisters Trail: Two miles into this hike
you come to the first and smallest sister, Constance Lake.
Half a mile up the trail is the second, slightly bigger sis-
ter, Catherine Lake. The largest, Crystal Lake, is at
about the halfway point. All three are spectacular and
popular spots for picnics, swimming or just relaxing and
enjoying the cool pine-scented air. The 700-foot elevation
gain is gradual and there are plenty of opportunities to
stop under shady pines or next to cool, clear brooks and
streams.
Bingo! Im in, I said.
Me too, Rogelio said.
Now we need to decide when we want to do this, Mr.
Beltrn said.
How about next Saturday? Paloma said.
If that works for everyone else, Mrs. Beltrn said,
Ill re-arrange my schedule so I can be off that day,
What do we need besides hiking boots? Rogelio
asked.
Dress comfortably and in layers, Mrs. Beltrn said.
Bring your day pack. Well have bottles of water, sand-
wiches, fruit and trail mix for everyone to take along.
Dont forget to bring a hat, I said.
Instead of writing to Dad that night, I closed my eyes
and thought about our last hike along the Silver Creek
River. I could almost see the place where wed eaten our
lunch near one of the waterfalls. Id felt almost as good
then as I did now that I was learning yoga and medita-
tion. But how would I feel hiking without him?
Rogelio wore his hiking boots and a baseball cap to
school the next day.
Why dont we go outside and have a picnic? he said.
Thats a great idea, Paloma said.
We found a quiet spot under the tree where Id
stopped to watch Rogelio walk around the track. I noticed
hed planned this before he left his house because he took
128 Estela Bernal
a beach towel out of his pack and spread it on the ground.
YUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM! I said. Lets pre-
tend were sitting next to Crystal Lake.
YUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM! Rogelio said.
Lets hope nobody sees us sitting here before we finish eat-
ing.
YUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM! Paloma said.
Who cares if anyone sees us?
YUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM! we all said as
we collapsed in a giggling fit.
130
Me and Lobo were the last to be picked up the day of
the hike. As soon as the Beltrns station wagon came to
a stop, Rogelio jumped out and ran toward our front door.
Mandy! Lobo! he yelled.
I opened the door and Lobo ran out to greet him, his
tail flapping even faster than usual.
I think he knows hes going on a big adventure,
Rogelio said.
They ran back to the station wagon and I followed
them. Mr. Beltrn had opened the rear door and Lobo
jumped right in. Rogelio tried to crawl in behind him.
Sorry, son, you need to ride in the back seat with
Paloma and Mandy, Mr. Beltrn told him.
On our way to Three Sisters, Lobo pushed against the
back seat until Mr. Beltrn cracked open the rear win-
dow. Then he pasted his nose against the opening and
sniffed at the wind. He couldnt decide which was more
exciting, Rogelio or the window. He went back and forth
between the two.
At the trailhead, Mrs. Beltrn handed us each a bot-
tle of water and a baggie full of trail mix. Yellow, red,
orange and blue wildflowers grew on either side of the
Chapter Nineteen
Three Sisters
trail. It was even prettier than the picture Id formed in
my head from the description in the book.
Lobo decided he needed to be ahead of the pack. He
bounced up the trail like he knew where he was going,
pulling Rogelio along. When we got to Constance Lake,
Rogelio dropped his pack and plopped down under a tree.
I took Lobos bowl from my pack and poured water for
him. He slurped some of it before he ran off to leave his
mark on a nearby bush.
Mr. Beltrn picked up a stick and threw it. It landed
right in the middle of the little lake. Lobo jumped in and
paddled after it.
Rogelios eyes bugged out. He ran to stand next to Mr.
Beltrn.
Wow. I didnt know he could swim.
Hes a real water dog, Mr. Beltrn said. He must
have some Lab in him.
Lobo grabbed the stick between his teeth, turned
around and swam back. Looking very proud of himself, he
walked out of the water, shook his whole body and
sprayed us all. Rogelio found another stick and held it
above his head before he threw it in the lake. It didnt go
as far this time, but Lobo jumped in after it.
That should cool him off, Mr. Beltrn said. Hell
have plenty of time to dry off before we get back to the
car.
Rogelio tried to take the stick, but Lobo decided to
hold on to it.
Its okay, Rogelio told him. Well find you another
one at the next lake.
Lobo could not be convinced to leave it behind. He
pranced ahead of us with his head in the air and the stick
in his mouth, like a drum major leading a parade.
Catherine Lake was bigger and prettier than Con-
stance.
Hows everyone holding up? Mrs. Beltrn asked. We
all turned to look at Rogelio as if he could answer for all
of us.
I need to check my feet, he said. I was gonna do it
at the other lake, but Lobo kind of distracted me.
He sat on a rock and pulled off his boots and socks.
Mrs. Beltrn knelt in front of him and inspected his feet.
I have some moleskin if you need it. Itll protect your
feet if you think you might be getting a blister.
Rogelio scooted around to face the lake and stuck his
feet in the water. I think I just need to cool off. He
looked across the lake. This is great. I could stay here all
day.
No, you cant, I said. Lobo will never forgive you
because hell want to stay with you and the best part of
the hike is just up the trail.
How do you know, if youve never been here before?
Because the best parts always saved for last.
Thats usually the way it seems to work, Mr. Beltrn
said. If you need to rest a while, though, were not in a
hurry.
Me and Paloma stood there staring at Rogelio until he
said, Im okay.
Mrs. Beltrn handed him a paper towel and he dried
his feet. As soon as he put on his socks and boots, we were
back on the trail.
The higher we climbed, the narrower the trail got.
Soon we were hiking single file. Mr. Beltrn walked in
front, holding Lobos leash. I followed behind them. Every
once in a while Lobo would look back to check on Rogelio,
but he kept going, pulling Mr. Beltrn along. Nobody was
talking anymore.
I wasnt thinking about anything in particular when I
looked up at the trail ahead and saw Dad disappear
behind a tree. All I saw was his back. It was all I needed
132 Estela Bernal
to see. He didnt look like a ghost. He looked the way he
always did when we hiked on a narrow trail, with him
leading the way, turning back to check on me, or stopping
to give me a chance to catch up. I ran ahead, caught up
with Lobo and Mr. Beltrn, stumbled off the trail to get
past them and kept running.
Mr. Beltrn called out, Mandy, wait! Dont get too far
ahead.
I kept running, tripping on roots along the way
because I was watching the trail above instead of looking
at the ground. Since I was running uphill, I wasnt going
very fast, but I stepped on a rock and slid back, falling
face first and skinning my knee.
What did you have for breakfast, Super Girl? Mr.
Beltrn asked when he caught up with me. Are you
okay? Where did this burst of energy come from?
I kept looking at the trail and didnt answer.
Mandy, are you okay?
I swallowed hard and tried to stop the tears that were
threatening to spill out. I didnt trust my voice, so I just
nodded.
He helped me up. Are you sure youre okay?
Lobo dropped his precious stick and licked my knee.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. Yeah, Im
. . . Im fine.
Would you like to hold on to Lobo for a while?
I took Lobos leash and he dragged me up the hill. I
felt like I was the one on the leash instead of the other
way around. We stayed ahead of the group until we
reached Crystal Lake.
At the lake, I let Lobo off the leash. He ran back to
check on Rogelio before he went to inspect the lake.
This is the perfect spot for a picnic, Mrs. Beltrn
said. She pulled out a blanket from her pack and spread
it on the grass. Then she noticed my knee. Mandy, thats
a nasty scrape. Let me clean it up and put some ointment
on it.
Paloma sat beside her mother and watched, but didnt
say anything. After Mrs. Beltrn was done, she put a cou-
ple of butterfly bandages on my knee and it felt a lot better.
I took Lobos bowl and a baggie of kibble from my
pack, but Lobo was too excited to eat. He kept running
from one bush to another and back to the lake.
Sorry, buddy, Rogelio said. You have to wait until
we eat. We dont want a soggy picnic lunch.
Paloma set paper plates and paper towels in front of
us. Her mother put a plate of sandwiches in the middle of
the blanket. The sandwiches reminded Lobo he was hun-
gry. While we ate, Rogelio held half a sandwich to his
mouth with one hand and pushed Lobo toward his bowl
with the other.
This is only my second picnic, he said. My first one
was last week when me and Mandy and Dove ate our
lunch in the school yard.
Dove? Palomas parents said.
Thats what he calls me since I started calling him
Roger, Paloma said.
I like it, Mrs. Beltrn said.
I almost forgot. Grandma baked persimmon cookies
for us. I pulled out the freezer bag that Grandma had
stuffed full of cookies and put them next to the sand-
wiches.
Those are my favorite kind of cookies, Palomas dad
said.
Mine too. Rogelio grabbed a handful and put them
on his plate. Mandys grandma used to give us a plate of
cookies every time she baked, before our house burned
down.
As I ate my sandwich, I kept looking around, hoping
to catch another glimpse of Dad. I had to be careful,
134 Estela Bernal
though, because Mr. Beltrn was watching me like a
hawk. I almost fell over when I heard footsteps behind me
and turned to see two hikers walking toward us with a
small dog bouncing along behind them.
Hello, they said. Lobo ran up to their dog and they
started sniffing each other.
Well go to the other side of the lake to give you some
privacy, the girl hiker said.
Thats very nice of you, Palomas mother said. But
you dont need to do that. In fact, youre welcome to join
us, or at least take some of our sandwiches. Otherwise,
well have to haul them back on our way out.
The hikers looked at each other before the guy said,
Thanks, they look great.
Paloma handed him a plate. He knelt between her
and me and took a couple of sandwiches.
Take some cookies too, I said.
He grabbed some cookies and piled them next to the
sandwiches.
Have a great hike! he said as they walked away.
A little later, while putting the food away, we heard
splashes coming from the lake and saw them and their
dog bobbing around in the water. The dog barked and
swam from one to the other as they tossed a mini beach
ball back and forth. Lobo mustve felt left out because he
ran to the edge of the lake and barked. He looked back at
us, wanting to know why we werent playing with him.
Pretty soon, more and more people started arriving.
Palomas dad said, This is a popular place. Good
thing we got here early. Is everyone ready to head back?
On the way back, we noticed the other two lakes were
just as crowded as Crystal Lake. We kept going, and
before long, we were back in the parking lot. Rogelio
pulled off his boots the minute he got in the car.
As we drove off, I turned toward the trail, hoping for
one more glimpse of Dad. But he didnt reappear.
That night I wrote a very short letter.
Dear Dad,
It was good to hike again, but the best part was
seeing you there.
I hope you found the persimmon I left between
those two boulders near Crystal Lake. It was per-
fectly ripejust the way you like them.
Love,
Mandy
136 Estela Bernal
137
The day she picked us up to drive us to the Portland
airport, Mom was wearing jeans, a Seattle sweatshirt
and clogs. Her hair had grown out a little, but she looked
even thinner than the last time Id seen her. She was in
a good mood.
You must be very excited about this trip, Grandma
said. Ive never known you to be so early for anything.
Its going to be a great trip, Mom said. Ive brought
along lots of brochures. Were staying close to Pikes Place
Market. From there we can walk or take a bus wherever
we decide to go.
As we boarded the plane, Mom said, Since this is
your first flight, I think you should sit by the window,
Mandy. She sat in the middle and Grandma took the
aisle seat. When the plane took off, I felt my stomach drop
to my knees, but once it leveled off, I was finelike Id
been flying all my life.
This is a good time to catch up on what Ive missed
since I last saw you, Mom said. What have you been up
to lately?
I told her about Paloma and Rogelio, about my San
Fulano project and about Mrs. Luna and the family tree.
Chapter Twenty
A Vacation to Remember
Thats why I want to go visit Aunt Victoria. Grandma
gave me the names and pictures of your side of the fami-
ly. Aunt Victoria has names and pictures of Dads family.
I can probably help you with that part.
When?
Soon.
Mom, thats what you always say. This is a tribute to
Dad and I want to finish it before I grow up and go away
to college.
Mom gave me one of her raised-eyebrow looks. Oh?
Youre already planning that far ahead?
No, but this project is very important to me.
It sounds like it. Well make time to work on it very
soon. I promise. Today, were starting our vacation,
though. Why dont you read the tour book and decide
what youd like to see and do in Seattle?
So much for catching up. I turned and looked out the
window even though I couldnt see anything but clouds.
After we checked into our hotel, we walked to a near-
by deli for lunch.
If I only get to do two things while were here, Ill be
very happy, Grandma said. I want to go to the top of the
Space Needle and visit the arboretum and the Japanese
Gardens.
Thats three things, Grandma.
Okay, three things.
Then, I get to pick three things, too. I want to go to
the zoo, to the aquarium and on a ferry ride.
Great, Mom said. My choices are just a couple of
museums. Even though well be doing a lot of walking,
itll be fun to rent bikes and ride along some of the bike
trails, too. I think we can all use the exercise.
That sounds like something you two should do
together, Grandma said. Let me know when youre
going to do that and Ill go back to the hotel for a nap.
138 Estela Bernal
Oh, come on, Mom said. You still remember how to
ride a bike, dont you? If you lived in Holland, youd be
riding one every day.
Olga, Grandma said in her this-is-an-order voice,
you and Mandy need to spend some time together, just
the two of you.
Mom reached across the table and took my hand. Are
you up for a bike ride with your old mom?
Sure.
We also need to do some shopping. Youre growing so
fast, youve probably outgrown most of your clothes.
Remembering the hiking boots, I said, I think its
mainly my feet that are growing.
Thats okay. Well stop and shop whenever we see
something interesting as we make our way around the
city. There are great little boutiques all over the place.
We can start with a quick walk around the area as soon
as were done eating?
That sounds good, Grandma said. I always have a
little trouble sleeping when Im away from home. Maybe
I can tire myself out so I can sleep well tonight.
Great, Mom said. Well leave time to go back to the
hotel and clean up before we head for the Space Needle.
Grandma bought fruit at the market, I bought four
postcards in one of the shops, and Mom bought ice cream
cones for me and her.
Grandma took a bite of an apple. If we keep eating
our way through the city, were not going to be hungry for
dinner.
Well just have to walk more until we get hungry
again, Mom said. She stopped at a fancy boutique to try
on a sweater she saw in the window and I found a light
pink scarf I thought would make a perfect gift for Mrs.
Luna.
Mom, can we get this for Mrs. Luna?
Sure, but dont you think its a little too . . . wild for
her? Doesnt she always wear black?
She used to, but now shes been wearing gray most-
ly.
Interesting. Do either of you see anything you like for
yourselves?
I dont need anything, Grandma said. Im not even
looking.
A couple of blocks from where wed bought the
sweater and scarf, we stopped at a store that sold choco-
lates, cookies and caramel apples. Mom bought chocolates
to take back to her co-workers, a sugar-free cookie for
Grandma and a caramel apple for me.
I guess we didnt plan this very well, Grandma said.
Youre right, Mom said. Weve been eating all after-
noon. Since were not hungry now, well have to postpone
our big dinner. We can spend the time planning our
schedule for tomorrow and order room service later if we
get hungry.
There were two queen-size beds in the room. When it
came time to go to bed, I asked, Where am I going to
sleep?
With me, silly, Mom said. Well pretend were hav-
ing a pajama party.
Mom was still sleeping when I woke up the next
morning. She had her arm around me. I really needed to
pee, but I didnt want to move. It wasnt just that I didnt
want to wake her. I wanted to stay this way as long as
possible.
I heard Grandma get up to use the bathroom. When
she flushed the toilet, I had to jump out of bed to take a
pee before I wet the bed.
140 Estela Bernal
As we walked to a nearby bakery for breakfast, Mom
said, Lets try to remember that we need to leave room for
dinner tonight. She ordered coffee and granola with
yogurt. Grandma ordered coffee and oatmeal, and I
ordered orange juice and the biggest sticky bun Id ever
seen. Afterwards, I mailed my postcards: one to Paloma,
one to Rogelio, one to Mrs. Luna and one to Aunt Victoria.
We walked until Grandma said she needed a break. After
we dropped her off at the hotel, we went to rent bikes. Mom
kind of reminded me of Lobo. She looked like she never ran
out of energy. She was even starting to wear me out.
I hoped Lobo wasnt keeping the whole neighborhood
awake with his barking. Rogelio was going to stop by to
feed him, play with him and walk him in the afternoons.
Joe had offered to walk him when he got home from work
around midnight.
That afternoon, at the Space Needle, we went straight
to the observation deck. Mom put her arm around me as
we looked out at the city. I wished Dad could be there, too.
Turn around, you two, Grandma said.
We turned to face her and I put my arms around
Moms waist before Grandma snapped our picture.
Theres so much to see and do here, Grandma said
as we ate dinner. I wouldnt mind going through China-
town, but itll be hard to squeeze any more into our
schedule. Thatll have to wait until our next visit.
Not necessarily, Mom said.
Me and Grandma looked at her.
Ive been waiting for just the right moment to tell you
and I think this is it, she said. Ive been thinking of tak-
ing a job in Seattle. Thats why Ive been coming here so
often lately. I wanted to check it out to make sure I liked
it well enough to live here. If we move here, you wont
have to wait until your next visit to go to Chinatown.
Youll be able to go there whenever you want.
Me and Grandma looked at each other again.
Olga, its a beautiful city, but I thought you loved
your job at Chinook, Grandma said.
I do, Ma, but Chinook is such a small hospital. Ive
been considering both Portland and Seattle because a big-
ger hospital would open up more opportunities for me.
Besides, it would be good for all of us to get a fresh start.
Ive gotten a tentative offer for a position opening up in a
couple of months here in Seattle.
Grandma put her hand on my arm.
Im too old to move anywhere. Ive lived in San
Fulano my whole life. Its my home.
My mind started spinning. Mom was getting ready to
sell the house after all. Did she really want us to move
here with her? If Grandma didnt want to move, what
would happen to me if Mom was going to be working all
the time? What about school? What about my friends?
Before I knew it, I said, Im not moving either. If you
move, Ill stay with Grandma.
Mom looked like wed punched her in the stomach.
Im just thinking about it. I havent even accepted the
offer yet.
Her mood definitely changed after she found out that,
although we liked Seattle, we didnt want to move there.
None of us ate any more of our dinner. When the waiter
came to ask if we wanted to see the dessert menu, she
said, No, thank you. Just bring us the check.
Mom was very quiet on the way back to the hotel.
Ill be up later, she said when we got there. The last
we saw of her, she was headed toward the bar.
Grandma put her arm around me as we rode the ele-
vator to our room.
Shell be fine.
I sure hope shes right.
142 Estela Bernal
I read the tour book until I couldnt keep my eyes open
any more. I dont know what time Mom finally got back to
the room. When I woke up the next morning, she was
sleeping beside me, but she was facing away from me and
I could smell cigarette smoke in her hair.
Me and Grandma got up at 9:00 and went down to the
hotel restaurant for breakfast. After we ate, we went
back to the room. Mom was in the shower. She came out
looking like shed washed away her bad mood.
Are you two ready for another fun-filled day?
The rest of the trip was a blur. We had a big Thanks-
giving dinner at some fancy restaurant and I know we
went shopping for clothes because I came home with new
shoes, jeans, sweaters and underwear.
Well, back to the old grind, Mom said when she
dropped us off. Ill call you on my next day off.
She hugged me before she left. It felt like a goodbye
hug, like I was never going to see her again. That night,
I lay awake staring at the darkness and noticed the tics
were back, ticking away.
144
At school the next Monday Paloma said, You did it
again. You sure can keep a secret. I loved the postcard, and
I want to hear all about your trip. Maybe I can talk Mom
and Daddy into going to Seattle on our next vacation.
I have pictures to show you at lunchtime, I said as
we walked to our first class.
If anybody had asked me what was said in any of my
classes that day, Id have to admit that I couldnt remem-
ber a single thing. My mind was still on Mom and Seattle.
I kept hearing Mrs. Lunas words over and over: We are
all children carrying around a big load of pain. We are all
children . . . Moms load must be pretty heavy.
Your mom looks like a model, Paloma said as she
and Rogelio looked through my Seattle pictures.
She doesnt look like you, Rogelio said.
Thanks, Rogelio. You always know just what to say.
I look like my Dad.
I look like my mom, he said.
I couldve told you that.
Did you practice your yoga while you were gone?
Paloma asked.
No, we didnt have time. There was too much to see
and do there.
Chapter Twenty-One
Can You See Me Now?
I havent done any yoga either since youve been
gone, Rogelio said. Its too crowded in my aunts apart-
ment.
Well then, we should get back to our regular routine,
Paloma said. How about tomorrow afternoon?
Sure. Im looking forward to it, I said. I meant it, too.
The sun shining through my eyelids woke me up the
next morning. At first I thought it was Saturday and
Grandma was letting me sleep in. Then, I remembered I
was supposed to go to Palomas after school. Lobo whined
at the door asking to go outside. I got up to let him out
and was surprised to not see Grandma. I walked in the
kitchen thinking she was fixing breakfast. She wasnt
there either.
Grandma?
There was no answer. Thinking she might be in her
garden, I walked out and called her again. Nothing. I
walked around the side of the house, but didnt see any
sign of her. My heart was pounding by the time I ran back
in the house.
GRANDMA!
I knocked on her bedroom door but got no answer, so
I slowly opened it and looked inside.
She was lying in bed. She looked like she was sleeping
and I thought of walking out and letting her sleep, but
then I looked at the clock by her bed and saw it was 8:10.
Id never seen her stay in bed that late. I shook her shoul-
der.
Grandma, are you okay?
She didnt answer.
I shook her again. Grandma.
When she didnt move, I grabbed the phone and froze.
Should I call the Beltrns? Mrs. Luna? Mom? I looked
around for Grandmas phone book, but couldnt find it. I
finally called 9-1-1.
A man answered.
My grandmother wont wake up, I yelled into the
phone.
Is she breathing? he asked.
I looked back at Grandma. I couldnt tell if she was
breathing or not.
I dont know.
Can you give me the address youre calling from?
I tried to remember Grandmas address, but all I
could think of was the street name.
Its on Tierra Nueva.
What city?
San Fulano.
Were sending an ambulance right away. I want you
to stay on the line with me until it arrives.
I was strangling the phone. What?
Has your Grandmother been sick lately?
I dont think so.
Is she taking any kind of medication?
Just her insulin shots, I think.
I watched Grandma the whole time to see if shed open
her eyes. The man on the phone kept talking to me.
I think I hear the siren, he said after a while. Go let
them in. Theyll take care of your grandmother.
Thanks. I slammed the phone down and ran to the
front door.
They loaded Grandma onto the ambulance, and let me
ride along. At the hospital, they asked me if there was a
relative they could call.
My mom works here. Her name is Olga Silva. I fig-
ured in such a small hospital, everybody must know
everybody else.
146 Estela Bernal
The receptionist called the nurses station and asked
if Mom was on duty. She wasnt.
Have a seat in the waiting room, she told me after
she got off the phone.
Is my grandma gonna be okay? I asked.
Im sure shes going to be fine, she said.
Afraid theyd forget about me, I sat as close to the
front desk as I could. My head started filling up with all
kinds of questions. Whatll happen to me if Grandma
dies? Will Mom blame me for that too? Will she send me
away? Where will I end up this time?
I looked up every time I saw somebody walk into the
waiting room and jumped up when I saw Mom. She was
headed toward the reception desk. Then she saw me and
ran toward me. She squeezed me so hard I felt like a tin
can about to pop its top.
Mom.
She let me go. Are you okay, baby?
I nodded. She gave me a quick peck on the check
before she took my hand and pulled me toward the front
desk.
The receptionist recognized her and told her where we
could find Grandma. Mom held my hand as we rode the
elevator to the second floor. She asked me to sit and wait
in the hallway while she checked on Grandma. I sat and
watched doctors, nurses and other hospital workers going
in and out of rooms. Every few minutes, I would look
toward the room that Mom had disappeared into.
She finally came out and signaled for me to come in
the room. I jumped up and ran to her.
Is she okay?
Shes going to be fine. Her insulin levels went a little
wacko, but shes doing well, thanks to you. She wants to
see you.
I walked in and went to stand by the bed. Grandma
had something dripping into her arm through a tube
hanging from a bottle by her bed.
She smiled at me and took my hand. Hey, little life-
saver. I hope I didnt scare you too much.
I gave her hand a little squeeze. Im glad youre okay,
Grandma.
Mom stood behind me with her hands on my shoul-
ders. Grandma looked up at both of us.
I guess being a hero is a good reason for missing
school today.
School? Id forgotten all about it until now. I hadnt
even noticed I was still wearing my nightgown.
Ill take you to Grandmas so you can change before I
drop you off at school, Mom said.
Paloma grabbed my arm as we walked from health to
science.
Where were you this morning?
My grandma had to go to the hospital.
Oh, no! Is she okay?
Shes okay now, but I wont be able to come to your
house this afternoon. Moms picking me up after school so
we can go see her.
Tell her I said hello.
Mom was waiting for me after school. Grandmas
home from the hospital. Ive asked for a few days off so I
can make sure she gets the rest she needs.
What do you think youre doing? Mom said when we
got to Grandmas and found her in the kitchen. Im fix-
ing dinner tonight. You just take it easy for a change.
148 Estela Bernal
After dinner, I did my homework while Mom and
Grandma stayed up talking about some new diet Grand-
ma was supposed to be on. After Grandma went to bed,
Mom came into her old room.
Do you mind sharing your bed with me, or should I
clear some space in Uncle Nics old room?
Its still your room, Mom.
She sat on the bed and took my hand. Im so sorry,
Mandy.
For what?
For . . . everything. When I got the call about Grand-
ma and found out how youd handled it, I realized what
Ive been doing, not just to myself, but to both of you. Im
sorry I failed you and Grandma when you needed me
most, when we needed one another most.
She touched my cheek and tried to hold back tears. I
was having trouble holding back my own.
Im so proud of you, she said. Youre a very special
daughter.
Thanks, Mom. I always thought you were disappoint-
ed that Id never grow up to be as pretty and popular as
you. I know Dad didnt care about those things. I was
almost afraid to say this, since I didnt want to make her
turn away again. But she seemed to want to listen this
time. Even though I miss him every day, I know he didnt
choose to leave us. I hope you dont choose to leave me and
Grandma, either.
Thats the last thing I want to do. She glanced at the
picture on her old dresser. When you were a baby, I used
to sit and watch you sleep, not wanting to leave you for
even a minute. I couldnt believe how much you resem-
bled him at that age. As you got older, and the two of you
became inseparable, I felt . . . left out. This is terrible to
say, but I was jealous of you, of the bond you shared with
your father, the way he was so proud of you for every lit-
tle thing you did.
Mom jealous of me? I didnt know what to say. I didnt
even know what to think.
Mom took a deep breath. I thought if I got rid of
everything that reminded me of him, I would eventually
start to forget. Thats why I put everything in storage,
worked until I wore myself out and drank myself to sleep
most nights. Thats why I stayed away. Every time I saw
you, I saw your father. Moving to Seattle was just anoth-
er way for me to try to run away from the pain. But this
morning I realized theres no place to hide. I realized Id
have to deal with it sooner or later.
So you really didnt want me and Grandma to move
with you?
I dont know what I wanted. But when you said youd
stay with her if I moved, I knew I couldnt keep running
away.
I jumped up and put my arms around her. She hugged
me back.
I told my boss I couldnt work any more overtime for
a while. She said she was glad to hear it. I guess every-
one could see what I was trying to doeveryone but me.
I can see that youve been using more constructive ways
of dealing with our loss. Putting together a family tree as
a tribute to your dad is a great idea. Now that Ill be home
every evening and weekends, we can take our time work-
ing on it together. How does that sound?
It sounds great, Mom. Ive missed you.
And Ive missed you more than you can imagine.
Well pack your stuff as soon as Grandmas completely
recovered. Its time for you to come home for good.
What about Lobo?
Hell be staying with us until his family can take him
home.
150 Estela Bernal
On the way to school the next morning, I felt like I
usually did after a yoga session. Even the rain felt good
on my face. Me and Haley got to the school entrance at
the same time. I held the door open for her and gave her
a big smile.
Wipe that stupid grin off your face or Ill do it for you,
scarecrow.
Haley, could I talk to you for a minute?
I wouldnt be caught dead talking to you.
Okay then, lets go some place where no one can see
us.
Just then the bell rang and she started to walk away.
I caught up with her. Please, Haley.
What do you want?
I pointed to the girls restroom. No one will see us in
there.
Im not sure whether she was curious or just glad to
have someones attention, even if it was only mine, but
she followed me into the restroom and stood with her
hands on her hips, waiting for me to start talking.
I took a quick look at the stalls to make sure no one
else was there.
You know my dad died a few weeks ago, I said.
Well boo-hoo. I never even knew my dad so dont
expect any tears from me.
Im not asking for anything from you. I am sorry
about your dad, though.
She let her arms drop to her side. Ill find him some-
day. Im sure when he sees me and gets to know me hell
. . . I dont blame him for leaving this dumpy townall it
does is rain all the time. As soon as Im old enough, Im
going to Las Vegas.
What will you do there?
I havent decided yet. Whats it to you anyhow?
Well, Ive been working on a family tree project in my
dads memory and I
Is this what you brought me in here for? Im going to
be in trouble for being late again and this time its all you
fault, scarecrow.
Haley, you always act like Im invisible. When you do
notice me, its only to show off in front of your friends by
making fun of me. You know my name. Do you feel better
about yourself when youre mean to me and Rogelio and
Paloma?
For a minute I thought she was going to hit me. If she
did, Id be in a bubble of trouble because nobody would be
here to pull her off me this time.
But then, about the last thing I expected to happen,
happened. Haleys lower lip started to quiver and, instead
of hitting me, she collapsed in a big sobbing heap right in
the middle of the floor.
I knelt by her and touched her shoulder. Its all right,
Haley. What I started to tell you earlier is that while I
was working on my memorial project for my dad and on
the San Fulano class project, I learned that Im not the
only one whos hurting inside. When I interviewed Mrs.
Luna, she said no matter how old we are, were all just
children carrying around a big load of pain. She should
know since shes probably the oldest person in town and
shes outlived all her children. But she also said our load
gets lighter when we share it with someone else. She
shared hers with me and I shared mine with my mom,
and now Ive shared it with you.
Haley looked up. Were still going to be late.
Thats okay. Mr. Q. will be happy to bail us out this
time.
I stood and offered Haley my hand. She took it and I
had to grab the sink with my other hand so we wouldnt
both end up on the floor.
152 Estela Bernal
Her face was a mess of streaky make-up and runny
snot. I handed her a couple of wet paper towels and she
wiped some of it off.
Before we walked out, I turned to her. Can you see
ME now, Haley?
Well, yeah, I guess.
I can see you too. I smiled and opened the door. We
stepped into the hallway and saw the security guard
headed our way.
Why arent you two characters in your class where
you belong?
Were going to see Mr. Q., I said.
She snorted. Ill walk with you to make sure you get
there safely.
Mr. Q. was talking to his secretary when we walked
in.
Well, what a pleasant surprise, he said when he saw
us.
Me and Haley were talking and . . .
Would you like to come in my office? he said.
No, thanks, I said. We just need an escort to our
class.
Youve come to the right place, then. He opened the
door and followed us out.
154
I was a little worried the following weekend when
Mom sent me and Grandma to a matinee. I didnt want to
believe it, but a little part of me thought maybe shed
changed her mind and was trying to figure out a way to
get rid of me again.
When Grandma picked me up, she was dressed like
she was going to meet the Queen of England instead of to
a movie. I was wearing jeans, a sweat shirt and my hik-
ing boots. She insisted that I change into the new skirt,
sweater and shoes shed brought along.
But people dont dress up to go to a movie, I said,
especially a Harry Potter movie, unless youre going to
wear a wizards costume.
I dont get out very often, she said, and when I do,
I like to dress up a bit. Do it as a special favor to me.
After the movie, Grandma called Mom. Mandy and I
were wondering if we had time for a snack?
We were? She hadnt said anything about a snack.
Of course I couldnt hear Moms answer, but when she
got off the phone, Grandma said, What do you say we
stop by The Garden on the way home?
Thats not on the way home.
It can be if we go there first before going home.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Happy Belated Birthday!
Okay, you talked me into it.
At the restaurant Grandma handed the waitress a lit-
tle card and asked if we could sit in the patio.
Sure, the waitress said. Please have a seat and Ill
be right with you.
She disappeared into the patio and came right back
out. Follow me, please.
We walked in and heard a loud, Surprise!
Id heard of surprise parties before, but I never
thought it would happen to me. I really was surprised
when I saw Mom, Mrs. Luna, Paloma and Rogelio.
Behind them were Palomas parents and Rogelios whole
family.
Grandma stood behind me laughing and clapping.
Just in case youre not surprised, weve invited a sur-
prise guest.
I felt my jaw drop and my eyes get big as I looked
around, expecting to see Lobo jump out from behind a
bush. Instead, the crowd separated, half of them moved to
one side, half to the other, and Aunt Victoria hurried out
from behind them. She hugged me, lifted me off the floor
and spun me around. Then she held me by the shoulders
and checked me out from head to toe.
Mandy, look at you. Youve grown so much since I
last saw you. The older you get, the more you resemble
your father.
She hugged me again and I felt like Mom had given
me the best present of all by inviting Aunt Victoria to my
party.
Now I understood why Grandma had insisted that I
change my clothes. I couldnt believe Id missed such a big
clue.
It looked like Mom had reserved the whole patio. There
were two long tables pushed together in the middle of it
with twelve chairs arranged around them and a high-chair
for Freddy. Freddy was wearing rabbit pajamas and drag-
ging a stuffed rabbit by the ears. He was trying to grab
stuff off a table piled with birthday presents.
Mom clapped her hands to get everybodys attention.
Okay, let the party begin!
Mrs. Luna was wearing a rose-colored dress and the
pink scarf Id given her with a real rose pinned to it. I
noticed the shiny touch of pink on her lips. She winked at
me to let me know that my eyes werent playing tricks on
me.
Two waitresses appeared with drinks for everybody.
I hope everyone likes pizza, Mom said.
Pizza! Freddy yelled.
Pizzas my favorite, Susie said.
Its Mandys favorite, too. Mom turned to me with a
big smile on her face, and for the first time since Dad
died, I knew we were going to be okay.
Has everyone had enough to eat? Mom said after
wed eaten most of the pizza.
Yes, everyone shouted.
Good. After Mandy opens her gifts, well have
dessert.
Aunt Victoria asked Paloma if she could hand me one
present at a time, so she could take pictures as I opened
them. Pretty soon I was feeling like a movie star, with the
camera flashing every few minutes.
The first gift Paloma handed me was a big box from
Mrs. Luna. I opened the card attached to it.
Thank you for reminding me that, if you want a
friend, you need to be a friend.
Happy Birthday!
156 Estela Bernal
Inside the box, wrapped in pink tissue paper, was her
childhood doll. On its right wrist was the heart bracelet.
I looked up at Mrs. Luna.
Before I could say anything, she said, Shes been
waiting all this time for the right friend to come along.
I hugged the doll to my chest. Thank you, Mrs. Luna.
The next gift was from Rogelio. It was a picture of me,
him, Paloma and Lobo. Id forgotten that Mrs. Beltrn
had taken it the day we went on the Three Sisters hike.
There was a hand-made card taped to the frame.
Dear Mandy,
I cant say Im happy our house burned down,
And I cant say Im happy your dad died;
But maybe we never wouldve become friends
If these things hadnt happened to us.
Besides my family, Lobo was my best friend.
He still is.
But you and Dove are pretty close
Second and third.
Happy Birthday, Friend.
Roger
Thanks, Roger, I said.
He smiled. Youre welcome.
Until then, I hadnt noticed that the Pillsbury Dough-
boy was completely gone. Hed been replaced by a smiling
boy who had become one of my best friends. Now there
were three peas in my pod and room for plenty more,
maybe even for Haley.
Paloma and her parents gave me a pale blue yoga
mat. Their card had a picture of a girl sitting in a lotus
pose. It said, Namaste and was signed by all three. I put
my hands together and bowed to Mr. and Mrs. Beltrn.
Then I bowed to Paloma. They all bowed back.
Aunt Victoria gave me two picture albums. One was
full of pictures of the Silva side of the family. The other
one had a picture of Mom and Dad on their wedding day.
There was a picture of me as a baby and the rest of it was
empty. A note was attached to the first blank page: To be
filled with happy memories.
There was a big envelope stuck inside the album. In the
envelope I found a round-trip ticket to Chicago. Attached
to it was another note: Just an early Christmas gift.
The last gift on the table was from Grandma. It was a
genealogy book, Trace Your Familys Roots. The card said,
I thought this would come in handy now that
youve decided to trace your ancestry. To start you off,
Ive made a list of all the relatives on your mothers
side as far back as I can remember. Hopefully, this
book will help us track another generation or two.
The list started with my name, then Mom and Dads
names and Grandma and Grandpas and Uncle Nics and
Moms name again followed by my great-grandparents
and their childrens names.
After the gifts were put away in a big box, Mom stood
again. Before we have dessert brought out, theres one
last gift for you, Mandy.
She handed me a card. It had a picture of a puppy in
front. I recognized Dads writing:
To our beautiful Mueca on her thirteenth birthday.
Love,
Mom and Dad
158 Estela Bernal
There were paw prints all around the card. They
started swimming in front of me as tears filled my eyes. I
tried to blink them away but Mom was kneeling in front
of me wiping them away. I could see there were tears in
her eyes too, but she was smiling.
This is one gift we couldnt wrap, she said. She
looked up and signaled for someone to come over. I turned
to see what she was looking at and saw Susie walking
toward us, holding a ball of wriggling fluff. She held out
the squirming puppy and it jumped into my arms. It wore
a Friendly Paws Rescue Club collar around its neck. The
tag on the collar said Thanks for rescuing me.
Freddy ran over to get a closer look. Whats his
name?
He doesnt have one yet. I have to think of a special
name for him, I said.
Its not a him, Mom said, Here, let me hold her
while you blow out the candles on your birthday cake.
Still clicking away with her camera, Aunt Victoria
started singing Happy Birthday and everybody joined her
as the waitress walked in carrying a tray with thirteen
cupcakes tied together with a pink ribbon. There was a
candle sticking out of each cupcake. I closed my eyes and
made a wish before I blew out the candles.
Part of my wish came true when I opened my eyes and
saw Mom and Aunt Victoria with their arms around each
other.
Everybody looked worn out by the time we got home
everybody but the puppy.
Aunt Victoria said shed been up since 5:00 in the
morning. But I wouldnt have missed this even if Id been
up all night. She kissed me and went to bed.
Mom had brought the furniture out of storage and was
sitting in Dads recliner. She watched as I rolled a ball
back and forth for the puppy with one hand, and tried to
distract Lobo by shaking a tug toy at him with the other.
Since this little girl is not housebroken yet, Mom
said, shell be spending the night in the laundry room.
You can start training her tomorrow.
I carried the puppy to the laundry room and laid her
in the big playpen Mom had lined with newspaper. In it,
shed put toys, food, water and a big basket where she
was supposed to sleep. As soon as I set the puppy down,
she forgot all about me, grabbed a toy and started chew-
ing on it. I walked out, closing the door behind me. Lobo
lay down in front of it like he planned to stay there and
guard her all night.
Mom was still sitting in the living room. Her eyes
were closed, but she opened them when I knelt next to the
recliner.
Thanks, Mom.
Im so sorry it took me so long. Your father would be
so proud of you . . .
You know hes never really left us, Mom.
I know that now. It took me a lot longer than it took
you to realize it.
I think hes happy about our family tree project.
I know he is, Mom said. She touched my cheek. Its
been a long day. Lets get some sleep because were way
behind on our project and tomorrow we need to pick your
aunts brain about the Silva side of the family.
After Mom said goodnight, I sat in my bedroom sur-
rounded by birthday presents. I pulled out Dads Army
tag from inside my sweater and traced his name with my
finger. Then I wrote,
Dear Dad,
Im the luckiest girl in the world because of you. I
used to feel like I was invisible to Mom and that the
160 Estela Bernal
bullies at school only saw a big target on my forehead
when they looked at me. Now I feel like everyone can
see me for who I am.
Youll be happy to know the project that started
out as a family tree has turned into a family reunion.
Now it feels special enough to be a tribute to you.
Thanks for bringing all these people into my life.
Working on the project will give us all a chance to
really get to know each other and to keep you with us
always.
Love,
Your Mueca
P.S. Thanks for the puppy. I think Mueca is the
perfect name for her, too.

Can You See Me Now? by Estela Bernal

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