Still an Atheist Page 1

Still an Atheist

Dy-Anne Wagner
Nevada State College

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If you are looking for a life changing experience, the best way to do this, is by testing the
beliefs in which you hold to the core. This is what I did Spring of 2012. Mardi Gras (or Fat
Tuesday) is a big party that ends on Ash Wednesday; which in the Catholic tradition is also the
beginning of Lent. Lent is a time where people fast (give up) something in their life in which
they find difficult to quit or will miss immensely, then use that time to focus on what Jesus gave
up for their salvation. Lent ends on Easter, which is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus
Christ, and people can go back to life as it was previously. For me Mardi Gras 2012, was not a
big party but it was a post on Facebook:
So I may not be catholic (or a theist at all)
but I see Lent as the opposite of Christmas.
So what should I give up this year?
There were the typical suggestions; soda, fast food, television, but one friend had a different
idea. She suggested I give up atheism for Lent; being a journalist, she also suggested I blog
about it. T his struck me as the best idea ever. An atheist being a Christian for a little more than
40 days, I could manage that. What I did not know how to manage was peoples reactions to my
decision.
I received the typical reactions from my Christian friends. They all seemed to think all I
needed was 40 days of church, prayer, and study groups and I would be ready to accept Jesus as
my savior and get baptized. Every single one was excited; they shared my blog with everyone
they knew. In 24 hours, after setting the blog up, I had over 300 followers and about 600 page
views. It was my atheist friends whom were the most surprising in their reactions. A few were
very supportive and totally understood what I was trying to accomplish as they agreed I could
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not adequately argue against the existence of a god and the power of having a relationship with
Jesus if I did not have the opportunity to immerse myself in that culture.
Some of my atheist friends were as judgmental about me partaking in this challenge as
many theists can be about beliefs that differ from their own. For being what I would normally
consider open-minded people, these free-thinkers were very closed-minded and suddenly
looked a lot like some of the fundamental Christian groups in the United States. No one was
going to picket a funeral because I was going to church, but it sure felt like it.
Despite the detractors, I started going to church. I went to a few study groups and met a
lot of the members of the church I was attending. The first Sunday I was introduced to the Pastor
and immediately told him what I was doing; he was nothing but 100% supportive. It was
definitely a positive experience from the social standpoint.
A church community is its own subculture. It is not just Christianity they practice but
their own church specific version of it. I had attended other churches before, as I was a regular
member of the Mormon Church about 7 years prior; I knew how that subculture worked and I
did not like it. This was much different. This church really was everything they had claimed;
all-inclusive, loving, respectful and fun. I actually grew to like going to church on Sunday
mornings. I even started taking my kids. The social aspect of church was amazing. We were
having some temporary financial problems and my friend, who was a member of the church I
was attending, suggested that I ask the church for help; so I did. All that was required of me was
to fill out some paperwork and they paid my electric bill for me. They did not judge me because I
was an atheist. They did not make conditions before they would provide help. They paid the bill
because they believed in charity. They believed in helping those in the community with truly no
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concern for race, religion (or lack there of) or anything else by which churches are known to
discriminate.
Easter came and went and I still went to church. It was not there because of the message
of the sermon as that still angered me; I spent every Sunday wanting to stand up and challenge
the Pastor who spoke as if there was scientific proof of the existence of god. I was still an atheist
to the core. I was there because I had made a few friends and I liked talking to people before and
after the services. Attending church had changed me.
How was I changed? Only my perceptions were affected. I had been living in my little
atheist world, talking to mostly atheist friends about life and often laughing about the silliness of
people who hold this one book so dear and the constant hypocrisy between what they say and
what they do. However, I had found people, whom for the most part, practiced what they
preached. I became more open to others and really experienced the affect of wearing someone
elses shoes. It was a positive experience that not only challenged my internal thoughts, but also
changed my perceptions about others while strengthening my own convictions.
Overall though, I am still an atheist.