1.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his

fools.
Ernest Hemingway

2. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin

3. Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
Anonymous

4. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
pleasure.
Ambrose Bierce

5. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
Anonymous

6. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright

7. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline...it helps if
you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the
very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

8. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

9. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh,
I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go
nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

10. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen,
for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry

11. I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

12. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always
carry a small snake.
W.C. Fi elds (1879-1946)